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muffindaddystyles · 3 years ago

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Love Brings Patience.

A/N: Just an angsty "3am thoughts and listening to hozier while doing" it blurb. Enjoy!! ♡♡

It thunders outside loudly, but she didn’t flinch. The mass of blues and viridescent ivory painting the sky -- a call for rain, as when there’s blessed pour of shower after every winter sick – but it’s monsoon —- there’s none of the sympathy that these boofy clouds could slip into Y/N's pocket as she lays on her bed watching through the glass roof of the home ... they built together.

With so much, love, trust, faith and passion for eachother that anything in the world was unable to come between them – until it did.

Pinning against them and keeping them apart.

Everything will be okay, in the end. It’s not okay. It’s not the end.

It’s just beginning. Beginning to suffer alone and without him, his emotional and physical support, his cheery smile that’d race her heartbeat like chariots of Hades and his gentle need to saturate the distances between them wherever they’re, his loving gleamy eyes never skimming past her and he'd dot soft grateful kisses to her raspberry cheeks and kiss her temple as if she’s the goddess that resides in his home and it’d be a sin not to cherish her.

He loves too much. He did. He does. He loved her beyond everything that it killed him, he was sobbing that night – drenching the lilac carpeted floor with the water droplets dripping down and Y/N wasn’t sure if it was the roar of lightening against the creaky windows of their home or the feebleness of his voice that sobered her into dust.

“Been hurtin' ye'fo’ years .. by being away from you fo' months and coming back to just give y'memories and hopes for me early arrival —-.. what .. -- what kinda lover does that?” He hiccupped. His wet fringes didn’t let Y/N fetch him and dip her hand in his soul to touch it and tell him where he belongs, he always belonged to her – and your path is always destined to ones, who you belong to.

“-- ... makes ye' -m..m—makes you wait and takes the test of yer patience, like you’re not human –...” But, this isn’t what love brings? Wait and patience and sacrifice —- the yearn to have the love of your life in your embrace while you pace through the alleyway of airports.

Love brings patience.

“... darlin’ ye' deserve the same warmth of a body, same attention and love that everyone out there’s getting ..” His sniffles sharp and breathless as he pointed out the window to indicate the world and she doesn’t know how in just one night he became so silly, because her world is him — only him.

Her whisper came out broken, “And what about you?” Her caring question for him made him push the heels of his palms to his sockets and rub the stubborn fat tears away.

“It’s hurtin’ me to. Makes me not breath at nights, stayin' away from you -- ‘m never focusin’ –- ‘s just you, Always you in the pocket of me heart – the back of my mind —-- can’t escape it. My stupid stupid heart tries to see you in strangers faces ‘n —--... my arms pulls at cold sheets to get to your warmth but it never comes, whatever I do.” His chest tightened and it’s repeating the same shortness of breaths he used to get while crying to himself in those hotel rooms, the puffy lips gasping for oxygen and Y/N' was rushing towards him grabbing his jaw to inspect him but he’s slip shutting his eyes and gesturing her he’s okay.

Murmured sadly, “And lovie’ it hurts.” So, loving her hurts him? What kind of love is that? A piece of failure when it should be what they tell in fairy tales.

She failed him.

She was shuddering letting his hand slip from her sweaty palms when he stood up with a worn out sad face, head hung down with the burden of guilt and selfishness.

“I don’t wanna hurt you anymore.” She was on her knees. Lips wobbled glum. She tugged on the bottom of his trousers crying dolefully without any word.

“Not wanting to hurt me by hurtin’ me more?” She cried hugging his leg and not letting it go.

His bestowed assertion made her shudder as he stepped away and to side, “I don’t w'na hurt us anymore.” His heart cracked and promised to him that it'll never heal up how much he'd beg later.

He was crying into his wrist leaving their apartment. Closing his ears with his palms to shut down the loud reckless sobs that echoed till hallway.

That cruel summer night still haunts her every moment and it’s been two weeks, and she wishes that he'll come running towards where she’s shrinking into the bed and jump over her as he used to —-- covering the little distance from the kitchen towards the bed and always made them bounce with the glee of his soft giggles.

How merciless could he be?

Leaving her alone in their home, where every piece of furniture holds his memory; the pink vinyl that’d play their favourite French songs, the squared tiles of their kitchen walls that he wrote different recipes over, the glassed roof through which they'd moon gaze snuggled into eachother and he'd be more happy to stroke her skin and love on the softness of it rather than the twinkle of stars – because he does it when he misses her, not when she’s right in his arms kissing his cheeks to happy affection, his cat who’s homesick because her momma is there or not – it’s not a much difference.

Everything is just ghosts of his memories making the edges of her heart bleed and cracking them dry.

She misses him. She misses him terribly and no day goes by without his thought swimming and tickling her mind.

Telephone rings. It keeps on ringing and she ignores it closing her eyes and tries to surrender herself to darkness of sleep, but then it kept on cutting through the tranquillity of their home and she’s plucking the yellow receiver and speaking something – embarrassed when her voice doesn’t even reach herself.

There’s loud annoyed groaning, vigorous disturbance and a high pitched squeaks before Mitch's monotone voice startles Y/N, “Can you please take him home? He's proper waffled .. broke his —-.. Harry! Can you sit down? Christ. Look you’re looking like a clown in front of all these nurses —-- Y/N?” He sighs and Y/N turns the curly wire around her finger out of anxiousness.

Fidgety on the tips of her toes.

“Where are you? Nurses? Broke? Is Harry okay? Tell me Mitch what’s happening!!?” She’s yelling into the receiver snatching the notepad when Mitch mutters grumpily, “Harry’s in hospital.”

Her heart drops to floor at that and she stares at her feet letting it sink before blinking the tears away and asking him for locations.

The time she reaches it starts raining and she covers herself with the cardigan she sneaked from his wardrobe to feel his presence, his scent and his brush of touch to her skin.

When she’s stumbling inside the rushy lobby filled with people waiting for their turn and her blurry gaze moves in every direction to find Harry sitting on the steel benches, wearing loose tailored curdory trousers and a baby blue sweater she knitted him as a gift for his birthday.

His apple-ish cheeks rosy and his button of nose scrunching up as he sits clumsily on the bench, poking Mitch's bum every other second to laugh at some kid who has his hand struck in a pot.

His own wrist bandaged up and around his neck, his pupils glassy foam and his condition dishevelled and ruffled up. It tears her up and she breathes in a sniffle – wiping her nose and padding towards him.

When his eyes rakes up a huge dimply smile is adorning his weary features and he’s waving her with limpy fingers shyly.

He’s drunk, drunk.

He pouts cherry-ly. Brows flinching together and he position himself straighter with Mitch's help when he takes in the dampness of her cheeks, “Why’re y'cryin' lovie’?” Darn that pet name. He slurs and his words mumbish.

“You’re hurt...” She points at his wrist. He looks down as it isn’t obvious and Mitch rolls his eyes, “Not hurt.” He shakes his head and when looks back up he’s grinning.

“Was just takin' hugeee steps downstairs -- ye'know me clumsiness and it’s kinda Mitchy's fault too ... told him to grab me tightly —-... ‘cos ‘m sensitive lil petal —--...” Y/N's biting down a snort at his squeaky high pitched voice and Mitch’s cutting him with thin smile.

“Been biting my ears off about you. How was I supposed to keep my balance when he clings to me so hard as if I’m summat his lover....” Y/N's eyes widen when Mitch grabs Harry from armpits and slinks his one arm around Y/N's shoulder as if Harry’s some parcel and he didn’t like it.

“Take him, home.” He mumbles and she stutters, “Wait ... hey! How? Mitch come back you mummy head.” She calls for him but he just walks away and Y/N’s left with no option but to take Harry with her.

“Be careful.” She whispers walking down the slope at exit of hospital with Harry clinged to her, “You came here on car?” She nudges his cheek with her shoulder but he just snuggles his face into the nook of her jaw.

“Mitch took it?” She groans. Swiping the rain droplets away from her forehead and steps behind under the shelter, “No ... it’s parked right here.” He mumbles against her sweet spot making her shiver and she makes them do a lil jog to the car and Harry’s giggling squeaking nonsense in her ear.

“Harry if y’refuse to leave me .....” She warns him trying to squirm out of his embrace as he sits in the passenger seat holding her so she sighs and tries to stick to more gentle coaxing way.

Shaky fingers gliding up his cheek to cup it and stroke the blue bags under his eyes, screaming that he having restless night for week now, “Petal if you don’t leave me how ‘m supposed to drive?” He gazes her peculiarly –- caressing her knuckles, stares his own motion and gives her the most puppy eyes that melts her on the spot, “Then hold me hand?” Now, could she say no to him? Never. She hates herself for it.

“’kay you could hold my –-- lemme —--... just --.. good boy.” She takes her hand out of his grip and pats his thigh before rushing to driver’s side.

She knows that how much he needs reassurances when he’s drunk and how much his love language of touching her peaks to sky.

She fulfils her promise and let him hold her hand, enjoying the little happiness because she knows it’s temporary and in the morning she'd be met by empty bed and hollow arms.

“I missed home.” He smiles wetly. Eyes closed as he stays on hugging her walking inside and whines when she squats down to untie his laces.

When she make him sit on the sofa and tries to leave for the kitchen, he’s lurching forward to grab her wrist and plead into her arm with moisture in his eyes, “No.No.No lovie' don’t go. Don’t go, pleaseeeee.......” She pets his sweaty curls kissing his forehead and murmurs against his hair while he loops his elbows lazily around her waist.

“Not going anywhere bub. Bringing you water.”

“No water. Just you. I missed you. Missed you so much. Missed you too much.” He’s rambling knuckling at his eyes and her belly fills with butterflies that flap till her heart and makes her feel woozy.

Though, she overcomes the bitter sweet feeling and brings him water how much he whined.

He has his hand planted softly at her thigh and gasps loudly and dramatically finishing the last droplet, and puckers his lips making funny noises against the rim of glass and she takes it away from him giggling, “’kay it's enough.”

He shuts his eyes for a moment and when opens them back it’s sea of pinks and the tears are shining at his waterline and he croaks out hoarsely, “Y/N ....?” Sobered up. He's feeling awful and in constant need to take her in his arms.

“Hmm?” She hums giving him a nervous smile and he straightens up taking both of her hands in his's, “I don’t want to be away from you anymore, darlin'. It’s worse than being temporarily away from ye'. Terrible. Terrible. I feel sick all the time as if there’s a dagger twisting into my heart ‘cos I know ‘m never fallin' in love with anyone except you ... but I don’t think you deserve me —.. I -- I —... I just think you —--- it’s killing me baby. Take me back please, baby take me back." He sniffs the tears and she’s crying with him; calling out his name and when he doesn’t listen she’s cradling his face delicately in her palms and making him look at her.

“Harry, my sweetheart. I love you. Isn’t that enough to assure you that I deserve you and only you – no one else.” He's blinking furiously and she bobs her head not flickering her loving gaze away from him.

“I love you too, will you take me back now? After what I did?” His insecurity and doubts about himself floating back.

“You left for best. Realised that we couldn’t live without eachother, didn’t you?” She pecks the corner of his lips and he leans in for a chaste kiss, their teeth clanking from smiling wide and happy and he giggles when she pushes herself off from him.

They crawl to their bed together and she flumps on his chest and he moans squeakily, “Ow.”

“Oh my, Har ....” She gasps. Shakes her head and flicks him on forehead when he grins bashfully.

“G'na take care of me?” His chin doubles over adorably as he tries to see her and brush her hair away.

“Gonna take care of you, petal” She patches a soft kiss to his chest and erupts into loud giggles when he teases her nonchalantly, “G'na help me wipe my arse.”

“Harry! Your other hand’s perfectly capable of wiping yourself clean!” He brings her closer with his uninjured hand and kisses her tenderly -- to show her all the love they missed on these few weeks.

“I love being home.” He murmurs into the kiss. Playing with her tresses round his nimble and traces kisses all over her face.

“Promise me you’re never doing silly again.” She pouts and he plucks at it – smooching a kiss to it later.

“Promise.” He tries to hook his bandaged pinky to her's and she laughs into his neck – shakes her head and kisses his cheek hugging him tightly.

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otomes-world · 4 years ago

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Unexpected interaction (Part 5)

You must think that I was kidding, but truth is that i`m not... and I hope no one minds (￣▽￣) You know, I was thinking about writing fic with Neige for plenty time and who knows.. maybe in the future he will have one all for himself (´꒳`)♡ part1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Picture and idea belongs to @twisted-n-thirsty

Neige was never distinguished by a pessimistic attitude towards life. After all, the world wasn`t without good people and the black streak could not last forever. Someday his princess would definitely come. You just have to sincerely believe in it. The young man, who was raised on fairy tales with a happy ending, deeply hoped for his `Happily Ever After`. In this he was supported by friends: both gnomes and forest dwellers.

So, LeBlanche grew up, cherishing the dream to meet his destiny. He wasn`t naive, believing that the meeting would take place soon. However, the young man had no doubts that it would definitely take place. He had heard rumors before about the mysterious Prefect of the Onboro Dormitory, which had just shown up. The girl came from a world completely different from Twisted Wonderland. At that moment, hope arose in the heart of Neige, and he would be lying if he affirmed the opposite.

Due to the busy schedule, the brunette had to be content with only rumors, which sometimes reached the Academy. Most of the image was drawn by the imagination: silky strands, with which the gentle breeze played every now and then; shining eyes and a most charming smile.

So far, that has been enough. The young man didn`t even think that soon he would be able to officially meet the one who involuntarily settled in his thoughts and became the basis of everyday life. That is why, when the chance to sing and dance with you on the same stage presented itself, he immediately took it.

That`s why, when the chance to meet you face to face presented itself, LeBlanche grabbed onto it with his whole being.

Neige didn`t think about possible troubles, about the fact that for three classmates he was only a way to achieve a goal. He was overwhelmed with sincere joy, finally, to touch the object of adoration.

When you woke up this morning, you had an unpleasant feeling of inevitability. As if someone knew something that you didn`t and openly showed their superiority. Powerlessness was annoying, but at least you didn’t have to face it alone.

Despite all the suspicions, you accepted Vil’s offer and returned to the dorm, accompanied by somehow utterly pleased the hatter. Trying to ignore the expression on the face of your future roommate for a few more days, you thought about how you would inform your friends about this. Initially, you had to figure out how to get rid of the animals. Then somehow explain that they are arriving, delivering gifts from `unknown` fans and now also the fact that in spite of the ended competition, vice-leader Pomefiore would move back.

However, fate in the form of a gluttonous fiery cat, who, just as you are tired of what is happening, did it for you. Approaching the dorm, you heard the noise and din that grew louder as you approached the building. All sorts of thoughts began to creep into your head until you heard painfully familiar voices.

“What in earth this animals doing here?! Deuce, leave`ya this bird!”

“What else can I do?! This woodpecker has grabbed onto Epel’s head and doesn`t want to let go!”

“Little fry, how dare you peck the head of the great Grimm, this is our home!”

It looked like your friends had decided to take lunch time to help you once again. From this realization a pleasant warmth spread into the gruli, even though at that moment your already battered refuge was under the threat of complete destruction.

Fortunately, this was avoided. Hunt, indeed, turned out to be a professional in record time getting rid of intruders. The duo Adeuce, smoothing out the torn and dirty shape, convinced you that what was happening wasn`t the end of the world, and that you could always rely on them. Epel, with a serious expression on his face, nodded in confirmation. The moment where Rook wiped away his tears, subdued by the touching scene, you chose to erase from your memory.

Three days passed in this way. The blond, constantly absent, but always appearing at the right moment, did the work of your unspoken bodyguard, as well as the spy of Vil. The flow of gifts didn`t stop, but they never reached you. Everything was almost instantly intercepted by Hunt and brought to Schoenheit, giving you peace that hadf become rare in recent days.

However, what you certainly didn`t expect was the news that Neige LeBlanche would visit the NRC today. He seemed pretty cute to you the first time you met, but not enough to make you call yourself a fan of him. However, the person who now lives next door to you clearly didn`t share your indifference.

“Roi du Neige himself will visit Night Raven College, isn’t this the best day of my life?” Probably, if there was someone who was sincerely happy about this event, it was none other than Rook. “My heart is about to jump out of my chest, and even if it does, nothing will darken this moment. One smile will heal me and bring back to life!“

You are already quite used to the eccentric behavior of the hunter. Therefore, letting his monologue go deafening, you began to wonder if you had forgotten something. You went out as a pair familiar to the eye. You walked without Grimm, because the cat completely refused to go to history lesson, justifying himself by the fact that he would fall asleep anyway. Hunt, who had already finished his speech, but hadn`t stopped flashing eyes, followed nearby. His thoughts were probably the same as yours.

“Potato, Rook,” familiar voice with a slipping hint of discontent and irritation distracted you from your general thoughts.

“Roi du Poison! Now this day can really be called the best! My two idols are nearby, at arm’s length… My heart… ”

“I will not go into the details of your situational arrhythmia. Now I have a photo session and you are coming with me. I’ll send you to a cardiologist later.“

You’d be amazed at how calmly Vil would parry all the attacks of his vice-leader, if not for one small `but`, “I apologize for interrupting. By “you” did you mean both of us?“ One wrong move and his fans would bury you alive, and you were not going to the grave yet. "Let me refuse, today I have important lessons-…”

“I have already spoken to the director, you will not be credited with absenteeism,” Schoenheit didn’t let you finish, quickly giving an answer. The feeling was that he was in a hurry, as if wishing to avoid something.

“Vi-kun! What a coincidence, you’re here too!”

Or someone.

Well, now everything had become clear to you. You didn’t even have to turn around. One voice and a barely audible snort from Schoenheit was enough for you to understand who was walking towards you right now.

“Angel descended from heaven to earthly firmament, your sight alone was enough to heal my soul, wounded by our parting!”

You weren`t a believer, but at the moment you were ready to pray to the gods of all worlds. God, Great Seven, did it just seem to you?.. LeBlanche wasn`t accompanied by those of whom you thought, right?..

However, fate had always been a villain, because turning around you saw the trinity that changed your home into a zoo. There was another annoyed snort from Schoenheit, and for the first time you were ready to agree with him and go anywhere: even for a photo session, even for a fashion show.

“Neige, what a coincidence,” by the time the quartet approached you, Vil was already showing the perfect smile of a model. “It’s a shame it won’t last long. We are already late for the project scheduled for today. Have a good time"

The blond was ready, like the last time, to turn around on his heels and leave, when Neige thoughtfully touched chin with his hand, “Isn’t this a photo shoot for release a new perfume?” Not noticing the crease between Schonheit’s eyebrows, the young man continued. “I heard that another celebrity was chosen for this project, but I could not even think that it was you Vi-kun! I am so glad that we will work together!“

“What a shame, in that case, we could have accompanied the lady, since we also arrived here,” as if by chance remarked the brunette, if you remembered correctly, his name was Raven. However, putting aside the question of his name, you didn`t like how smoothly his words sounded.

Now the heat definitely coming down. If earlier there was tension in the air, now it almost sparkled with lightning. Once again, you had a choice. Go along with Vil and witness his confrontation with Neige, or stay in college, but with three dubious personalities.

Something told you that this day would be long in any way.

Who should you go with? (っ´ω`)ﾉ Part 6

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chaoticallysapphic · 4 years ago

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just a scratch

summary: You were always the hero, always the one protecting those around you. So who could be surprised by your honorable death?

a/n: I woke up this morning literally thinking "why not write a death fic," so here you guys go. Here's your Lin fic. I came up with this idea like two days into having this blog and it’s inspired by this art.

word count: 3k

When you were little your favorite books were those of heroes. Of great adventures and love so profound it would be talked about for centuries to come. The ones now collecting dust on the third to last shelf on your bookcase, the mahogany one situated between your desk and cedar bookcase, is where you place your favorites.

A recurring theme in them all is self-sacrifice. Loving someone sometimes requires that and you knew if the time ever came, you'd do it all for her. A life without her is not one you could live through, a world without her is dark and full of monsters and crime. Not only would you do it for your own selfish reasons but because she was so important to other people as well. The death of Lin Beifong is the day the heart of Republic City stops beating.

If you had to choose a way to go, it would be protecting those you love. And if Lin's life was on the line, then you knew it had to be you.

There are a million scares that have happened in the last few years, ever since Korra arrived the number of times you were jumping in front of her was too many to count. After the fourth, after you pushed her aside so Amon would take your bending, she'd all but screamed at you for hours while holding you, scared to let you go. Despite the emptiness seeming to fill you up like a ship sinking, it was worth it.

After you got it back Lin didn't let you out of her sight for weeks, suddenly you were trailing after her like a lost puppy. You understand her need to have you nearby and you didn't mind, who could mind the company of Lin?

One night sometime after the eighth time, Lin notices those books on the third to last shelf. She's read one or two and casually asks you how the others end. In your hands is a new one just as heartbreaking and morbid as the others. You don't realize the dots connecting for her whilst you happily ramble on about them, mentioning how you read your first one in the library at the age of seven.

“I mean it's what you do for love and it's so-”

“No you stay alive for love so you can live out the rest of your life with them,” her voice is firm as she grips one of those favorites of yours. You frown, slowly closing the one you're currently reading.

“Well it's not like you'd just do it for anything, it's to protect the one you love.”

Over the next few years, Lin's heart almost stops a million times as you keep protecting her. She tries to get you to stay in Republic City when she goes off to protect Korra but your stubbornness somehow beats Lin's.

That break-in at Zaofu solidifies it for you. Lin slips off with Suyin, so they can propel from the ceiling to save Korra. She makes sure you're distracted before sneakily racing off. When you turn around to check on Lin she's gone. She's gone and as you whip your head around to look for her there isn't a trace of where she went.

You know you're being selfish, that you should push this panic and fear down to help save Korra but you can't. You need to know where she is, people are yelling at you as you continuously turn, hoping to spot her. You don't notice how the combustion bender has turned to you. Your vision is blurring, you need to find her, and little do you know she's watching from above with her heart in her throat as P'li smirks before taking aim.

The sound her bending makes has you whipping around. Your eyes widen at the bolt of fire shooting towards you, frozen in place. This is not how you want to go down, you’ve had an unhealthy obsession with how you’d leave this world from a young age and this was not it. In the last second before your life ends two arms wrap around your waist as a body slams into you. You fall to the floor with a loud thud and a pained moan as your head smacks against the concrete. The bolt of fire whizzes past the two of you as it burns through a bush.

The woman above you isn’t Lin. It’s some guard with black hair and a mole under her eye and you can only half make out what she's saying, partially due to the concussion you now suffer from but also from the icy fear that has encased you. Little do either of you know that by Kuvira saving you, your fate has been placed in her hands for another day.

She’s asking if you're okay, by now Lin has saved Korra and the intruders have vanished. She knows your importance to the Beifong family. Kuvira helps pull you up into a sitting position, she watches you wince from the pain, your eyes squeezed shut. There’s a small spot of blood on the ground, and so she checks behind your head and finds a small cut.

Lin has given Korra to Suyin, bolting to where she sees you hunched over while Kuvira cleans the cut for you. You don’t hear or notice her coming, the only indication is when her arms slip around you as she pulls you against her body so tight it feels like the air is being squeezed out of you.

“What the fuck was that?” She chokes out between sobs. You slowly wrap your arms around your lover as you suddenly begin to feel tired.

“I couldn’t find you.”

After Zaheer when your life quiets down just a smidgen, Lin proposes. She found the ring at a jewelry store in Zaofu the day after you almost died and knew. You become a blubbering mess, it’s entirely unattractive as there’s snot mixing with tears but you rapidly nod as you choke out “yes.”

A year later you get married and the day is nothing short of a fairy tale. Everything is perfect as you sway to the song with your wife's arms wrapped around your waist. Everyone watches as you both lovingly stare into each other's eyes. Lin thinks that it’ll be calmer now and you’ll be safe. You're her wife and you love her and you're safe.

You think back on that day often with a fond smile, the cake you smeared across her face and the scowl she sported directly after. How she then cupped your cheeks in her hands, so she could rub the cake off onto you. There are two photo albums worth of photographs from that day and in almost every single one you both stare at each other in this way that feels so intimate. If a stranger took a look they’d be able to tell just how much you loved one another.

Lin’s been given her happily ever after, those two years that follow are blissful. You open up a bookstore near your apartment, and she forces herself to come home at a reasonable time every night, so she can enjoy your company before you head off to bed. You settle into a routine that neither of you mind, all Lin cares about is that you're safe and you're happy.

Some people (like Suyin) say it’s almost sickening how much you two love each other but Lin just thinks that’s because she's jealous of not having this kind of heartwarming, never-ending love. Everyone knows her marriage has dulled into one of convenience, and she’s never almost lost the love of her life as Lin has. It makes you cherish every moment in case it’s your last.

That peace breaks when Kuvira comes to Republic City, her change in demeanor is shocking and her inability to hand over the Earth Kingdom saddens you. She saved your life and the woman in front of you is not the same one who pushed you out of the way all those years ago. Something in her eyes has twisted, she’s become jaded over time and you seem to be the only one who holds out hope. Even Suyin gives up on her.

When Toph meets you she's nothing short of surprised. “Hi, I’m your daughter's wife, Y/n.” In the background, Bolin can see Lin rolling her eyes as she begins to walk away. You guys are on a mission, and she really doesn’t want you to make nice with her mother.

But you do because you're you and when Lin snaps while everyone is quietly eating their flameo noodles you softly calm her down. Still, you look over your shoulder at the first metal bender and say “you may have raised the love of my life but you’ve done nothing for her since the day you left Republic City. If she doesn’t want to forgive you for abandoning her then that’s perfectly fine by me.”

Your words remind Lin of the first time you met, how she was floored by your ability to bite back despite your otherwise quiet demeanor. You’d been this shy woman who bumped into her on your way out of a bookstore and when she went to scold you for not paying attention you stopped her in her tracks with one look alone. It may seem childish and stupid, cringe-worthy even, but she knew she had to marry you one day just with that look.

The next morning you save the Beifongs along with Zhu Li, you can’t help but watch Kuvira twist around as she continues to try and take Suyin down. If you go up there, will she do the same? She probably doesn’t remember you but as your savior, you remember her. Lin pulls you onto Juicy and wraps her arms around you, she thought the action was over, that her fear of losing you would lessen but it’s back in full force.

She tries to make you evacuate with the rest of Republic City and that stubbornness she loves rears its head as you put your foot down, claiming that you go wherever she does.

It’s all a blur really, there’s so much to do and such little time as you all try and try again to take her down when finally a reprieve comes in the form of Hiroshi’s sacrifice. Inside you stick with the Beifong sisters as you all work to destroy the weapon whilst Korra tries to distract Kuvira.

It’s a split second filled with too much to process. One second you succeed and destroy the ammunition and then the arm in which you're all in is being flung across the city. You push Lin and Suyin towards the wall, your wife bends metal around the two of them and tries to do the same for you but it’s flimsy as you're so far away and everything is moving so fast. The force of impact successfully knocks you out.

When you come to there're three things you notice.

Number one: You are so cold and yet you can feel sweat beading down your forehead.

Number Two: The metal wrapped around you is gone, it must have broken off from the impact.

Number three: It feels like you can’t breathe, there’s something inside you and when you try to move a pained scream scraps up your throat, it sounds gurgled and wet as something warm drips from your lips.

When you finally manage to open your eyes you notice that you aren’t in the arm anymore, with your blurry vision you can make out the faint shape of it against a broken building. There’s so much distorted noise around you. You can faintly make out your name being shouted and when you try to speak nothing comes out.

You make a mistake in your painful haze, you try to move. It’s then you finally look down as another scream rips out of you, this one slightly quieter, and notice the steel rod sticking out of the upper half of your stomach. You know it’s stupid but the only thing you can manage to think of is ‘that’s not meant to be there.’

Lifting your arm up you try to find a source of water, maybe you can heal what's around you as you slowly pull yourself off, but your call goes unanswered. Your arm gives out and falls onto the jagged pieces of concrete that cut into your skin but your brain is too focused on the pain in your stomach.

Where is she? Is she okay? Will this pain have been worth it? You don’t know, you're alone and you know what’s about to happen and you're alone. In all the visions you had of saving her, the last thing you saw was her. But now it’s the dilapidated storefront that must have been broken in the collision as you lay where a wall once used to stand. The ceiling is moldy and only half of it is still intact. You don’t even get to see the sun at the end.

Just as you're about to close your eyes to try and think of happy memories to go out on, you faintly hear someone say in a voice full of sorrow and desperation “No… No, no, no!”

This site right here is Lin’s worst nightmares all wrapped into one. There’s so much blood pooling underneath you as it drips down the broken concrete of the building. You're pale, so pale she thinks you almost look like a ghost and blood drips from your mouth.

She surges forward and falls to her knees, the bricks and rocks cut into her pants as pain sears through her legs, but she doesn’t care nor notice. All she notices is how your eyes are closed and how you're shivering in the middle of summer. Two warm hands cup your cheek, bringing you out of your pleasant memory of your wedding day as you open your eyes. A pair of bright green eyes stare down at you, she looks so scared.

“Lin…” You wheeze out. She shakes her head as she begins to sob. You feel so tired, so weak and if you had the energy it’d anger you but you can’t find it in you to care anymore. She’s here and you can see her eyes, her beautiful face and you know that what you’ve just done to protect her and Suyin was worth it. If not for you pushing her out of the way she would have fallen out of the arm and you’d be the to find her amongst the rubble.

“No you're fine, we’re gonna get you a heal- Korra can heal you it’s fi-” she’s stumbling over her words as she tries to wipe the blood off your face, it just smears the red liquid down your cheek and onto your neck. You shake your head.

“I love you…”

“Stop it, don’t say that you’ll be fine. You are going to live.”

“Please say it back…” You know you won’t live, no one will find you in time and you’ve lost too much blood. It’ll happen any second now and you want to hear it one more time.

“I’m not ready for this… You’re meant to grow old with me…” She sobs out. “You’re meant to live.”

“Please Lin…” you stop as you cough up more blood. It’s close. “I’m scared, please jus-”

“I love you, I-” she gently rests her forehead against your own, your skin is like ice now, “love you.” Lin feels so warm and comforting, you want to lean forward to wrap yourself around her but you can’t.

Tragedy struck within a matter of seconds. Life deemed her unworthy of a happy ending.

The shivering that let her know you were still there stops. She’s too scared to open her eyes afraid of what she might find. Maybe if she keeps them closed you’ll come back. You were like a cat with nine lives and surely you had one left. She doesn’t know how long she sits there leaning over your lifeless body with her hands cradling your face and forehead against your own, her back begins to hurt from the position, but she does not move an inch.

Everyone is looking for the two of you. They’ve won, victory is finally theirs and everyone can rest easy now with the great uniter being dragged by Suyin and Korra. Lin left the second the blast had cleared, screw victory all she cared about was you and Suyin was worried by the quietness of the streets, by the fact that neither of you came stumbling out of an alley with your hands all over each other as relief radiates from you.

It’s eerily silent as they turn down that fateful street Suyin and Lin woke up in, and she spots something out of the corner of her eye. A broken storefront that was slightly concealed by a large chunk of concrete. She sees the black of Lin’s suit and hears the faint whisper of someone murmuring something.

Tossing the injured Kuvira towards Korra to fully support her, she races over to her sister. Everyone stops as they see what's transpiring. No one says a thing, breath being held as they make out Lin leaning over something. Even Kuvira watches because what else is there for her to do?

Suyin stops a few feet behind her sister, her shoulders dropping when she sees a sight so tragic, so heartbreaking that even she begins to sob. Lin is too focused on you, she doesn’t even realize that she’s repeating something like a mantra, like some kind of prayer that will go unanswered.

“You're going to be okay.” It’s all Lin can say, eyes still squeezed shut. Hesitantly, Suyin takes a step as she tries to stifle her cries.

“Lin?...”

She stills at her sister's voice, those same four words dying in her throat. Suyin braves another step and then one more before placing her hand on her sister's shoulder. She can see the blood now and there’s so much of it. It reminds her of the rushing river right outside of Zaofu. Lin tenses at the touch.

“She’s fine.” Lin spits out and spirits it is such a useless lie. “She’s going to be fine.” Suyin grips her shoulder and pulls, in that moment of panic at being ripped from you her eyes finally open. You're so limp and without her hands to hold you, your face lulls to the side. Suyin finally spots the cause of your death with the detachment of Lin. Nothing could have saved you from that, not even if they found you immediately. Only spirit water could have fixed that and it’s too far away.

“Lin…” Suyin starts as she continues to pull her away. Fear grips her so tightly she can’t control herself as she whips around to push her away. Her younger sister catches her arms before she can try to bend her away and Lin struggles to break free. Everyone sees you now.

“Get off of me!” She screams, her voice cuts through the air like a knife and neither of the sisters notices the display of grief behind them as every person who knows you understands the gravity of the situation. You were like a second mother to Korra, you made sure Mako was fed and healthy during his brief time staying at the station. When Bolin doubted his bending in Zaofu you cheered him on.

You were everyone's ray of sunshine. No one knows what to do when the sun finally goes out.

“She’s fine!” Suyin just nods as she pulls Lin into a tight hug. The chief wails as she finally begins to realize that you aren’t fine, that you won’t wake up. It settles into her bones and drags her down until she’s collapsing. Suyin struggles to hold her sister as she gently kneels for them.

In her defeated, injured state, Kuvira remembers you. She remembers cleaning up the bit of blood from the back of your head, and she thinks ‘that’s too much for me to clean.’ The great uniter remembers the sob that left Lin when she barreled into you. The sound of her voice as she choked out “What the fuck was that?”

Lin can’t breathe, she feels her heart die with you as she wails into her sisters shoulder. The icy cold grips of grief latch onto her like a parasite and make itself a nest inside her now empty chest cavity.

That day victory is not what anyone on that street feels. The sunshine has vanished from this world and replaced it with darkness that’ll loom over everyone’s life for the rest of time.

That day is the day Lin Beifong truly dies.

#lin beifong #lin beifong x reader #lin beifong/reader #lin beifong fanfic #lok fanfic #legend of korra #yo one of you guys asked when i was gonna write more for lin #here you guy #ask and ye shall receive

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formerprincess · 3 years ago

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A tale written with fangs and claws || Chapter 58

Chapters: 58/? Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt Characters: Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken, Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant, Nolan (Teen Wolf) Additional Tags: Alpha Liam Dunbar, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, Dunbar Pack, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Werewolf Theo Raeken, Alpha Theo Raeken, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, Mates, Liam and Theo are mates, Top Theo Raeken, Bottom Theo Raeken, Top Liam, Bottom Liam Dunbar Series: Part 1 of Morning Dew Pack

Liam has to take care of a very important matter. And there is an invitation...

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Liam immensely enjoyed working for Ellie. She was happy to show him her craft, teach him things, but she was also very easygoing, and as long as she saw him trying, she loved him and was thrilled with his performance. Also, Ellie knew about the supernatural, so she completely understood when he looked at his phone after it chimed with a text, just in case his pack needed him. Not that anything had come up in the few weeks since Liam started working for her, but he liked to have this option. He didn't have to hide anything, and Liam realized how much better he felt with that.

When work was slow, they talked about a lot of things and Ellie taught Liam some things about supernatural creatures. She had laughed loudly at the story about the fairies in their garden and proceeded to elucidate the different variations of fairies and elves. There were plant fairies, water fairies, sun fairies, and almost that many elves classes. Just like there were different weres out there. Liam felt kind of silly he didn't know about any of this and one day voiced his thoughts. Was he simply ignorant or just blind?

"Neither. You're from a town where none of those things exist. Don't blame yourself for that", Carlie said. Carlie was one of Ellie's three best friends, the other two being Libby and Simone. All three were at Ellie's age and the friends had a weekly meeting at the shop where they sat together, talked about their lives, drank tea or coffee, and ate cookies. Carlie herself was a petite woman with short spiky hair and big square glasses. From what they had told Liam upon first meeting, they all were elves but Liam secretly suspected Carlie of being a pixie. She was cheeky, witty, always said what was on her mind, and her eyes sparkled with mischief. Needless to say, Liam liked her. "Yeah, but I also feel like I should know more." "You know enough. About Onis and Berserkers and Kitsunes and hell and other terrible things. You're twenty. Most guys your age know how to party and wear their base caps the wrong way." She bit into a cookie. Liam laughed. "My boyfriend likes to wear his caps the wrong way. He looks hot with it. But he also knows other things." "You have so much time to learn still. Don't worry. Even we old ladies don't know about any supernatural being out there", Simone comforted him and filled her cup with some more tea. She was the opposite of Carlie; tall, thin, and the quietest of the bunch. "I also agree with Carlie, you know about terrible things, traumatic things, things one should not know about. Especially not this early in life. But unfortunately, trauma is also experience. " Liam made a face. He sat down on the armrest of one of the chairs Ellie had placed around. "I just could have lived without some of those experiences. I mean, I could have gone without the experience of being homeless but hey. Maybe that's just me." Ellie put her arm over the backrest of her chair and turned to look at Liam. "When have you been homeless?" They talked about a lot of stuff but Liam's life story, she only knew parts of it. Good parts. He didn't want to deliver sob story after sob story. Liam had a good life, he knew some people had it worse. He cherished that. Now he exhaled loudly through his nose and then he told the four women how the hyenas came into town and caused havoc, how they finally destroyed the house and left the pack picking up the pieces. He ended with the move to the new house.

After he finished, his listeners were shocked. "You experienced all this and you still find it in yourself to be such a happy and polite young man?" Libby asked in awe. She was usually full of life and laughed loudly, her afro curls always bouncing around her round face, but now she was stunned. Liam shrugged. "What's the option? Turning bitter? It worked out in the end. Doesn't mean I will ever forgive them for what they did but no one died, at least." "You are a terrific young man, Liam", Ellie praised. He smiled softly. "Thank you."

The store door opened and Angela, Ellie's oldest daughter, stepped into the shop. She was a lawyer and used her breaks to visit sometimes. She greeted everyone happily and hugged her mother. Liam ran to get her a fresh cup and dragged another seat to their circle so he should sit and interact with the group. She squeezed his arm in a silent thank you as she sat down and accepted the cup. "What were you guys talking about? Is everything okay?" She asked good-heartedly. "Liam just told us about those horrible, horrible hyenas who destroyed his house" Libby filled her in. Angela raised both eyebrows. "I hope none of you were harmed." "Everybodys fine. We managed to get out in time before the house exploded. I'm just grateful I got my brother out of town before it happened." "Oh, you have a brother? I didn't know that." Angela loved kids and had specialized in family rights. She claimed she liked to help kids get justice. "Hm." Liam nodded. He walked to the cash register where he left his phone and while he walked back searched through his pictures. "Landon. He's almost ten." She showed her and the rest of the women the picture and they all cooed how much alike the brothers looked. "You said you brought his out of town? So I take he's usually living with you? Your parents must appreciate such a tight brother's bond." Angela was surprised but happy. Liam hesitated. "Landon's not my mother's son. We're half brothers. Same dad. Well, father. Sperm donor. My biological father is...he's a piece of shit. Alcoholic. Abuser. You get it. I didn't even know Landon existed until we met months ago by a pure coincidence. The circumstances don't matter but in the end, Theo and I took him home with us. Not a chance I would have let him stay with that man. So he lived with us in the house. Until I brought him to the lake to keep him safe. He lives there now." Liam missed Landon terribly but they were all still so young, they could not care for a child properly. Byron and Lana were perfect for that task and Landon also liked them. He blinked. "But enough of sad stories. Let's talk about something different, okay?"

****** He was cleaning up after Ellie's friends had left. After he had basically pleaded for a change of topic, the talk had revolved around lighter topics and ended on a very funny note. Now Ellie was in the back, doing some accounting, and Liam manned the front of the store. Angela was the only one still there. Now she stepped to the cash register where Liam was currently filling some jars with bagged candy. "I'm going to tell you something, not as a friend but as a lawyer, okay? And I need you to listen." She looked serious and Liam tensed. What happened? "Did I do something wrong? Is your mother mad at me?" "No. But listen." She tapped both index fingers on the counter. "You need your biological father to sign his rights over to you as fast as possible. What you said about him, having him in Landon's and your life is dangerous and not good for either of you. So you need to act fast. Have him make you Landon's legal guardian." Liam frowned. "I planned on doing so once I turned twenty-one. I wasn't aware I can do it now. Thought I had to be twenty-one." Angela shook her head strictly. "No. You need to do it now. In most states, anyone who is eighteen years old can become a guardian. Look, who tells you your father agrees to it in a year? He still holds guardianship and can make decisions for your brother. If he does not sign over his rights, he has so much time to cause harm. You said Landon's almost ten. That means another eight years of having the right to decide about medical procedures, school enrollment, the living situation. Even if Landon stays with you, all it takes is somebody checking who is the legal guardian for Landon. Could be school, could be a doctor's office, or if he gets in trouble it could be the police. If he's in the hospital. For eight years, you have to always fear for this to happen. If your father does not sign his rights over." "If he does not do it on his own, I will take him to court." Angela shook her head even more firm this time. "Honestly? They will ask you where Landon lived for the past year. Legally, what you and Theo did was kidnapping. If you manage to get a strict judge, that alone will cause you to lose the case. Landon will get sent back to his father and you're probably not even allowed to see him. I told you, I'm not telling you this as a friend. As your friend, I understand why you did it, as a lawyer I have to inform you about this likely possibility. The only chance you have is to have your father make you his guardian." It was a hard pill to swallow and Liam gulped. He had been naive, he realized now, and considered it all easier than it was. And maybe Landon had to pay the price for his neglect. "Thank you, Angela", he mumbled sadly.

****** Liam sat in his car and watched the house across the street. The sun was beating down and these barren landscapes made the air even drier. The dusty roads stirred up sand whenever a car raced by. Bleak. He cast a look at the passenger seat. All documents he needed were laying there, including a pen. Now all that Liam was left to do, was get out of the car, walk up to the door, and get a signature. Angela's stern talk from days ago had left Liam rallied. Once he was home, he had told Theo about everything and the couple had to admit them taking Landon out of the house had been a stupid move from the legal point of view. They had emotions get the better of them and now this potentially harmful situation had arisen. Theo had supported Liam in whatever was needed to ensure he would become Landon's guardian but the Beta was also not a lawyer and as much at loss as Liam.

Thank god for Angela. She had helped Liam set up the documents Emmet had to sign and those documents Liam grabbed now when he exited the car. Theo was not with him, his boyfriend didn't even know Liam was here. Nobody knew. This, Liam felt, was something he had to don his own. Maybe to find a deserving ending. Maybe to test his control. Or maybe this was stupid but then again, Liam could proudly admit he was doing stupid crap now and then. Stiles, according to his own claim, could show Liam a list.

He let out a shaky breath when he walked through the unkempt front lawn. Some new beer bottles and cans had gathered around the chair. Emmet was not there but Liam heard his heartbeat through the ajar window. You're not going to kill him, Liam. He does not deserve you getting your hands dirty. Liam knocked at the door. Inside the house, he heard some bottles falling and Emmet's slurred voice mumbling. Then scuffling steps and the door opened. And the young Alpha had to gasp and take a step back. "God, you stink!" The stench of booze, beer, and sweat made him almost gag. Disgusting, his man. "You. What do you want?" Emmet slurred angrily and grabbed the door for support. Liam turned his head away and took a few breaths. He willed his nausea down and turned to face his father. "How long have you been drinking, alkie?" "What do you care? Why are you even here? I don't want you." "Trust me, I don't want you either. But I need something from you and that means I have to come here. I would rather be somewhere else, believe that." "What? Want money for the little gremlin? I'm not giving you a dime." Emmet swayed on his feet. "I don't need your money. Go inside, before you fall flat on your face. I'm not catching you." Liam pointed inside the house. His father made a step towards him. "I should beat the crap out of you for talking to me like that and not stop til you're whimpering. Do you know who I am?" "A sorry excuse for a worm." Liam pushed his biological father by the shoulder and he stumbled back. As drunk as he was, he didn't stand a chance against an Alpha.

Emmet was taken by surprise but managed to catch himself at the table. He spewed a few curse words in Liam's direction before he shuffled around and fell on one of the chairs with the grace of a sack filled with potatoes. Liam closed the door and followed inside. His nose twitched and he wanted to retch at the smell and how dirty everything was but he kept himself from it last minute. This was not for him, this was for Landon. "How's your mother? Still wailing about how horrible I am? The slut should be lucky an honest man wanted her." "My mother is neither a slut nor are you an honest man. Don't mention her or I break your nose." Liam felt his anger building up. This was a test for his control and he might fail it. "Piss off! She's the reason you're such a weak bastard. Wonder what happened with the other one. He's just as weak. Cried whenever I hit him. Begged me to stop. Just like you. Oh, I remember you. Your mother screamed and cried when the ambulance came. I would have left you on the ground. Would have taught you a lesson." "I didn't need a lesson, I needed a father who loved me!" Liam slammed the papers on the table. "Here! Sign this!"

Emmet grabbed it after a few tries and dragged it over the table. He narrowed his eyes at the print. "What should I sign?" "Those are the papers for you to make me Landon's legal guardian. Sign and we're out of your hair forever." Liam balled his hands and felt his fingertips itch. His claws wanted to come out, his wolf furious at the man in front of him. Years of pent-up rage welled up and dared to spill over. He could kill Emmet and probably nobody would shed a tear. Laughter disrupted his thoughts. Emmet had left the papers on the table and laughed. It boomed in Liam's ears. His blood rushed through his veins. This man was mocking him. "If you really think I'm signing this crap, you're mistaken. Know why? Because you bastard want me to and you get nothing from me!" Emmet was still laughing but decided to underline his words by spitting in Liam's direction. It landed on the carpet between them. His claws almost broke through and he was ready to lunge but a voice in his head stopped him. No. Not like this. Not him. Maybe it was his wolf who was even stronger than Liam's human side burdened with IED but it was enough to make Liam pause. If you kill him, you'll never become Landon's guardian. Keep the little one safe.

Liam exhaled loudly through his nose and closed his eyes for a second. If even the animal inside him knew better, he would follow. Had to follow. All for his little brother. Landon didn't deserve a murderer for a hero. He opened his eyes and stared at Emmet. Suddenly Liam was seven again, cowering at the floor while his father screamed at him and walked closer and closer. He had put his arms up back then, in a feeble attempt to shield his body from the hits, and pleaded for the man to stop. Fear. Panic. Pain. But this time Liam didn't feel panicked. He was not afraid of this drunkard calling himself a father. Instead, Liam felt disgust and maybe even pity. This guy had nothing to live for. It gave the young Alpha a strange sense of calm. Out of the two of them, Liam was the better man. The better person. IED or not. The condition didn't rule him as much as it ruled his father, and Liam had quite a lot more on his plate.

He sat at the opposite of the table and took the pen in his hands. "And why wouldn't you? What's in it for you? Just to be petty? Just to put one over on me?" Emmet snickered. "It will bug you forever, that's good enough for me." He reached for a bottle of booze and uncorked it to take a swig. Liam glared at him. Then he put the pen down. His glance landed on his bracelet. The bracelet he shared with Theo. Suddenly, he got an idea. Maybe it was time to see if he could take a book out of Theo's playbook. He raised his head and crossed his arms on top of the table. "Okay, fine, don't sign. We will play your game. I will send Landon back to live here." Emmet eyed him. "You're bluffing." "Not at all. He will come and live with you again. But be aware. I will be around every damn day." "And then what? What will you do? Punch me? You're no match for me", Emmet sneered. "If you lay so much as one finger on him, and we both know you will, I will call the cops on you. They will come and they will arrest you for domestic violence. And yes, Landon may be sent to foster care but I will make sure you will be sent to prison. There is no booze, no beer, no schnapps in prison. But the people there love people who abused kids. I know people and I will make sure every inmate knows what you did to two little boys. That's what will be awaiting you. No freedom to get wasted like you're doing now every day. Think about it." His biological father still eyed him suspiciously. "No way you would ever let him live here again." "To get you locked up, I would do other things. Landon too, by the way. All to make sure you will rot in hell. He's tough, he will take whatever you might to do him. Maybe I will move in as well. One happy family. With me comes my boyfriend, obviously. By the way, how's your hand?" He looked at Emmet's fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle. Father and son stared at each other, accessed each other until Emmet snorted. "Your mother raised you better than this. I call bluff. You don't have it in you, weak shit!" A cold, dangerous smile appeared on Liam's face and he leaned closer. "You call my mom a slut and other horrible names, yet you forget I also inherited DNA from you. We both have IED. Wanna find out how much more alike we are? If I'm as cruel as you are?" He gave his father a death glare. "You want to start a war? I'll raise you World War III. Your choice. Either don't sign and feel the whiplash or sign and you will never have to see us again." Liam placed the pen on the papers and waited. His heart was thundering inside his chest. That was not his usual way to carry on negotiations and he had no idea if it worked. Theo made it always seem so easy and pulled it off without a hitch. But Liam knew he was not that good. Emmet grabbed the pen and fiddled with it. He scribbled his signature at the marked fields, an unruly chicken scratch but his signature nonetheless. "Get the hell out of here. If I see you on my front lawn again, I will shoot you." Liam's hand shot towards and he pulled the documents towards himself after the last signature was done. "I have better people to be around than you. Give your liver a break once in a while." He got up just in time as Emmet's hand shot towards his throat. The alcoholic missed by far and his hand thumped on the table. "Fuck off, you piss baby!" The sound of the splintering bottle hitting the wall was the last thing Liam heard from his father when he now left the house without so much of a goodbye.

It only dawned on him what just had transpired when he was in his car and already on the road. Liam stopped at a red light and breathed a sigh of relief. "Holy shit!" He had faced Emmet Dunbar, that one man he hated with a burning passion, the one who had made his childhood horrible and hurt Liam, Ilona, and Landon so much. Against what he had wanted to do to him, Emmet had left the meeting completely without a cut, Liam was incredibly proud of himself. Even though now, that everything settled, his hands shook and his heart raced, adrenaline pumping through his body. That had the potential to go so, so wrong and yet Liam stood tall. He glanced at the papers safely sitting on the passenger seat. Not only had it worked out without Liam losing his temper, but it had also really worked and he was Landon's guardian. The threat of Emmet interfering with their lives and taking Landon away again was erased. Liam wanted to cry.

His phone chimed and Liam almost hit another car. "Jesus Christ!" He accepted the call over the speaker. "Hey, Theo." "Hey. Say, just out of curiosity, where the hell are you? Nobody knows where you left. It's not like you to disappear like that. What's going on." Liam bit his lip. "I was at Emmet's." "Emmet? Emmet Dunbar? Your father? What the fuck! Is he still alive?" "Shh, let me explain. I told you about what Angela said and I went to get his signature. Yes, he's still alive, I didn't touch him. Even though I wanted to." He heard Theo closing a door and birds singing in the background. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have accompanied you." Yeah, good question. Liam didn't know for sure. "I guess...I needed to burn this bridge alone? Prove to myself I can stay calm around him. I'm not like him in any capacity and while I know you and I absolutely adore you for always being there for me, this was something I had to do alone. You understand? Maybe for my own peace of mind, I dunno." Theo was silent for a few moments. "Yeah, I understand", he finally confessed. "Did it work, at least?" A smile broke out on Liam's face. "Yep. Have all the signatures I need. Thanks to you as well." "Thanks to me? What did I do?" "Well, let's say you're a good teacher, even if you don't want to be one. I'll tell you everything once I get home, okay?" Theo laughed. "Okay. Love you." "Love you too."

****** Landon's face appeared on the screen in front of Liam and as soon as he had a picture, the child waved animatedly. "Hello, Liam!" Videocalls were a good way to keep in contact even if they could not see each other in person. Liam happily waved back. "Hey, Landon, how are you?" "I'm good. Zack and I built a fort." Landon launched himself into a story of all the things his best friend and he had done. Lana and Byron appeared in the background of the call but they simply waved and let the boy talk. Liam put his chin in the palm of his hand and listened with a smile. Seeing Landon so carefree and hearing about him being a normal child was all he ever wanted. It came nine years too late and Liam knew his brother must have been affected one way or another by his upcoming but now that he was out of Emmet's claws, Landon was in for an amazing life. After he was done, Landon asked about Liam's life in Seattle. Now it was the older's turn to talk about college, his pack, the fairies (Landon loved this part and he asked thousands of questions). Theo had joined Liam for a while and laughed softly. "He's like you", he whispered into his mate's ear and kissed Liam's cheek before he disappeared out of the frame again after a wave in Landon's direction. Liam chuckled but then he finished his story. "One more thing, Landon. You know we took you away from Emmet, right?" Landon shivered at the mention of his father's name but nodded bravely. "Do I have to go back? Please, don't make me go back!" "No, no, hey, I would never. That's why I'm telling you. He signed all the papers. I am your guardian now." Lana and Byron appeared left and right from Landon. "He did? Oh, how wonderful, Liam." Lana was touched. Landon scrunched his nose. "What does guardian mean?" "It means Liam is responsible for you now and Emmet can never hurt you again. Say you want to go on a class trip, for example, the school has to ask Liam and not your father anymore", Byron patiently explained to him. Landon considered. "So, he can't get me?" "Never again. He's out of your life for good", Liam promised firmly. His brother beamed at the adults. "That's amazing!" "Yeah, it is." Lana stroked through his hair. "But, Sweetie, you have to get ready for bed now. Tomorrow's a school day." "But I want to keep talking to Liam. I'm not finished." Yes, Landon could be stubborn. "We can talk tomorrow, Laddie. After school, yeah? Now you have to get ready for bed. Sleep is important. I'm going to bed now too. Theo does too. See?" He rolled to the side and tilted his screen so Landon could see Theo brushing his teeth with the bathroom door open. Theo waved. It wasn't that he actually wanted to go to bed but he had tried some licorice Mike had brought home, not from Ellie though, and after eating it Theo claimed to have a bad taste in his mouth. Landon huffed. "But we talk tomorrow", he insisted. "Werewolf promise." Liam raised his hand solemnly to swear. "Good Night, Laddie." "Good Night, Liam. Good Night, Theo." Landon stood up. "Good Night, you two," Lana called out and then disappeared with Landon.

Byron sat on the desk chair. "I know he signed but did the meaning with your father go well?" "It did. As well as possible with this man. I was pretty surprised at my control. At a certain point, I was ready to snap but somehow my wolf made me pull back and I got more level-headed." "That's the Alpha in you. Even if our personality or our urges say otherwise, sometimes the Alpha part can balance it out to keep the peace. It is impressive how well you learned to work with your wolf." The praise was nice because Liam tried. Sometimes it felt like all he did was running in circles but then he proved to everyone (and mostly himself) he was a good person and improving. "Speaking of Alpha and peace, Liam I forwarded an email to you just now. Have a look at it, maybe Theo should do so as well."

Theo had dried his mouth and now walked over to lean on Liam's chair while Liam opened the mail Byron had forwarded. It included a word document and when Liam opened it, it turned out to be an invitation to a meeting held in a hotel in Seattle. "Liam, part of being an Alpha are pack politics." Liam whined. "I told you I'm not good at that! What is this? An Alpha congress? I can't go there." "Maybe let the man talk before you cut and run", Theo suggested and smoothly avoided the contact between Liam's elbow and his stomach by moving aside. "I know what you said, Liam, and this is no pressure but I wanted to inform you. The invitation is indeed for an Alpha meeting. No congress, just a few Alphas coming together and talking." "About what?" Liam saw himself on a stage, in front of hundreds of Alphas, a whole auditorium filled with them, and making a fool out of himself. People would laugh. It would be a degrading experience. "Life. This and that. No one is expecting a speech from you, Liam. See I've been to a few of those meetings. There are only packs living close by attending these meetings. They're mostly boring. You stand around, do some small talk, maybe eat a quick snack, and leave. But they can also help you get a better idea of which packs are around yours. In the area. It can be interesting, if only so for scouting. But, of course, that does not mean you have to attend. It's no declaration of war not to go there. Just like you cannot declare war by saying a wrong word if you go." "Those are all Alphas, experienced Alphas probably, and then I show up. Junior McJunington. What will they think?" "Screw what they think. So what if they're older or more experienced? You're you and that's awesome" Theo passionately declared. "Thank you, Dr. Seuss", Liam hissed. He frowned and scratched his cheek. "I have to think about this." "As it is your right. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with." "If I should attend, there will be no problem? I can just show up there?" "The invitation is addressed to the Alpha of the Morning Dew Pack. They seemingly didn't get the memo about the change in our pack but that doesn't matter. The invitation is for you, not for me. Actually, no Beta can attend the meeting. And no Alpha mate either unless they're specifically invited." "I have to go there alone??" Liam shrieked. In his mind, he had Theo by his side. Maybe Brett and Caden since both could be real charmers and have intellectual conversations. Corey would have also a good match despite him being as insecure as Liam in those settings. Byron rubbed his hands together. "Those are the rules. But I know, alone or not, you will be just fine. Should you go or not. This is not something I can do for you. The decision is all yours. Just one more thing, to be fair. you will be the youngest in this group. By a few decades, I suppose. That's why I don't think they will pay you much attention. They're just curious." "Great", Liam said sarcastically. "Given my track records with strange Alphas so far, this will be a marvelous experience."

****** "I don't think you should go. What if that's a trap?" Tim worried about Liam's safety. Liam had informed his pack about the invitation right the next day and after classes, they were sitting in the living room and discussing this. "I think he should go. Just to check the others out. Maybe he can make allies?" Brett opposed. "I also think Liam should go. Byron said he has been to a few of those meetings. I don't think it's a trap", Sadie tried to dissolve Tim's worry and he gave her a grateful look. "The two strange Alphas I met in the last year have both tried to kill me. You understand I'm not keen on walking in a room full of unfamiliar Alphas?" Liam questioned. "I think that should be the reason you go", Ever stated, "to show all of them you're not afraid. If they plan on messing with you, you will look them in the eye. Maybe then they won't underestimate you." "I just don't see the purpose of those meetings. From what Byron said it sounds pretentious." Corey looked peeved. "Oh, it is", Lori confirmed. "But they are not that rare. I don't think you have to be scared, Liam." She offered a genuine smile. Liem returned it cause he knew she was trying to make him feel better. "What do you mean by not rare?" "Well, they're not, if you have Alphas of the old school" Brett took over from his sister. "Modern Alphas just meet up, talk, like Scott with Satomi. They don't even call it an Alpha meeting and send out fancy invites. Those are practices of the old guard, mostly well-esteemed werewolves who love to use those meetings to gossip. Ever seen those movies with scenes in Gentlemen Clubs? Country Clubs? Those are the people to expect at those meetings. Byron's not that far off when he says they won't spare you a look. You're - and don't take this the wrong way - not their type of person, if you know what I mean." "The Alpha from my parents' pack also attends such meetings. They always gush about the delicious and expensive things they eat there. But this woman also has a rich husband and considers herself playing tennis and golf as labor. So, pretty much pompous, entitled snobs", Sadie said. Maya rolled her eyes. "I also know about those meetings but I'm so glad I never met an Alpha going there before. Eh, no offense, Liam." Liam groaned. "Okay, just the danger of becoming the new hot gossip for the elite wolves around. Yeah, I think I'll pass." "I would still go", Caden chimed in. "It's a good opportunity to get to know how many are around. Do you know that? They invited Byron so their radius must be quite large but how many packs live between Seattle and the lake? Wouldn't it be good to know in case we need help? What if the hyenas come back? Having some werewolf allies would not be that bad."

He had a point. They all did. Liam was still torn. For once because he was afraid of making a fool of himself, then for the reason not to offend another Alpha and start a war, and on top of it, he now came to the realization just how different those Alphas seemed to be. He looked at his boyfriend. "What do you say?" Theo had listened to everything and had made up his mind. "You should go. For all those reasons. Byron said there will not come anything bad from it. He would never let you go to any event if he feared something might happen to you. If he says you can go, I believe him. And yeah, it is a good way to get information. Maybe there are not that many packs around. But you will only find out if you go." Since most of his Betas said he should go, he considered. Maybe it was a good idea indeed. Only one problem: "If it's that high class, what should I wear?"

Fifteen minutes later Liam regretted that question. He stood in his bedroom while Theo, Brett, Mason, and Sadie sat on his bed. Sadie throned between the other guys, one leg crossed over the other, and looked like she was having the time of her life. Liam was the poor victim and had to model several outfits for the self-proclaimed fashion experts of his pack (he knew Theo could dress good but at this point, Liam felt betrayed) who all had other ideas of the perfect outfit. "That dress shirt is perfect for you. Not too out there but also not too normal" Mason praised Liam's current outfit consisting of black pants and a dark grey dress shirt. Liam hated it. It was not even one of his shirts but one of Theo's Mason had just grabbed. His boyfriend had not protested (see, there was the betrayal) but now shook his head. "That's not the outfit to go." "Absolutely right. Liam, grab the one I hung there." Sadie pointed at the clothes and Liam grumbled but grabbed them and stalked into the bathroom. When he emerged again, he was wearing jeans, a blue slipover with a white button-down shirt underneath. Liam felt like he was a kindergartener dressed by mommy. "Now you look like back in Devenford. Then again, maybe this private school flair is exactly what you need", Brett snickered. Liam glared at him and Theo scoffed before he handed Liam the third outfit. Liam glared at him too for good measure and disappeared into the bathroom again.

The outfit Theo had picked for him, Liam didn't even know where he got it. He had never seen Theo wearing this particular combo. Cloth trousers, a polo shirt and a sports jacket over it. "How the hell do you get this? And why do you get this?" He asked once he emerged from the bathroom. Interesting, Theo became a bit sheepishly. "I got it for some occasions? Maybe a job interview?" "This is so not you." Liam eyed himself in the mirror. "This is so not me either. What were you thinking, guys? None of your outfits were good." "You wanted us to help you", Mason defended himself. "I wanted to get suggestions, not become your dress-up doll", Liam replied sharply. Sadie sighed. "You're being difficult. Don't you want to make a good first impression?" "A good impression as himself, shouldn't that be the goal?" Caden had walked into the room and crossed the arms in front of his chest. He looked at Liam. "You look strange. Actually, you look like me whenever my aunt visited the family. Horrible." "How do you look when your aunt visits?" Brett had to know. Caden pulled out his cellphone and searched a bit before he handed the phone over. Brett snickered. "Okay, thanks for the laugh. So dapper, oh my. One would not think that since you're almost only ever wearing more casual clothing." Sadie giggled. "Does Ever know you can look like that?" "As a matter of fact, yeah. She doesn't like it. I can relate. But my aunt is quite old-fashioned and conservative. She came to town, we dressed like that, covered up our tattoos, the whole shebang. We just never liked it. Liam doesn't like dressing up either." "Tell me about it. That's a topic we have had since we're friends." Mason rolled his eyes. Liam wanted to glare at him but if he was honest, his best friend was right. So he raised his shoulders. "I have dress shirts. I just happen to like t-shirts and jeans more." "Hence why I think you should wear that", Caden stated. "You are not like the type of Alpha who wears expensive clothing and the latest brands. You're Liam. We like Liam. Why do you want to be somebody you're not? Just to impress people you probably will never see again after that one time?" "That's true." Even Theo had to admit that. "I know when you're comfortable and you never are when you dressed up to a certain extend." "I still think if the occasion calls for it, you should make an effort", Sadie insisted. "It's not about what you want; it's about what our Alpha wants. Liam goes to the meeting and Liam has to represent himself and our pack. He should do it as his truest self possible", Brett retaliated. She pouted.

But then she got up from the bed and walked towards Liam's open closet. She dug around there for a while before she pulled out a pale blue t-shirt. It was a new one, Liam had only worn it twice and he loved how soft the fabric was, it felt good and comfy on his skin. Sadie handed it to him. "The color makes your eyes pop. That and that one light blue jeans you have. If you walk into a room full of strange werewolves, bright colors make you look friendlier." "That's Sadie. If you can't dress them up the way you want, at least get into chromatics", Brett praised.

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Quite a Liam-centric chapter but then again he's the Alpha and Landon's brother. And he had to make decisions. Now the question is, what will happen at the meeting? What do you guys think? All I can say is, I'm excited about the new chapter.

#Thiam #A tale written with fangs and claws #alpha!liam #My writing #Morning Dew Pack series

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2-cute-4-school · 4 years ago

Text

Fatum

Group : NCT

Pairing : Park Jisung x gn!Reader

Genre : fluff, a bit of angst in the beginning

Word count : 2K words | M.list

‘A fire that could burn down the entire world, but could never touch you.’

Before finally asking you out, you and Jisung had been friends for years. You always concluded that the time you’ve spent together was when you felt most alive, feeling your erratic heartbeat against your rib cage or the heat rising to your cheeks and forming a pink hue that spread across your face. Your bond with Jisung was so pure, like a modern fairy tale, a budding love story blossoming shyly under the soothing moonlight.

You told each other everything, every secret, every hidden truth you were too scared to reveal to the rest of the world. You trusted Jisung with your heart and in turn, he gifted you his on a silver plate. Despite the years spent attached at the hip, you still cherished every moment spent together, relishing in the other’s presence. So when you didn’t turn up at school one day, without a word to him or any of your other friends, he had every right to boil with worry.

“Look, I’m worried too, Jisung, but if you don’t stop bouncing your leg I’ll cut it off, don’t try me.”

Jisung forced himself to stop at Chenle’s hissed demand, but not even a minute later it resumed its action. Chenle sighed gravely beside him.

“We’ll go over after school, just stop already.”

“I just don’t get it. We always tell each other if something comes up.”

“I’m sure you’re thinking too much, it’s not good for your brain, you’re using it too much at a time.”

Chenle’s joke didn’t seem to light up his friend’s mood as he continued to stare blankly at the messy notes scribbled across the pages of his notebook. The doodles on the desks, made with your Sharpie seemed to glare back at Jisung, burning holes through the worn-out wood they decorated.

“Try to survive a few more hours without your sweetie pie, honeybunch, sugar plum.” Chenle’s tone was sickeningly sweet and Jisung couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“Shut up, Chenle, not my fault your love life is drier than my grandma’s skin.”

Chenle gasped dramatically before slapping Jisung’s shoulder in fake hurt.

School hours seemed to drag on for longer than usual without your presence. Jisung dragged himself through class after class, his mind wandering the entire day to the visit he owed you as soon as school finished. Jisung swore the moment the bell rang, signifying the end of his last period, he bolted from his seat so fast the room spun for a few seconds. He barely had it in himself to wait for Chenle in front of the gate, shifting his weight anxiously from one foot to the other as he waited for his friend. He had to admit that patience wasn’t one of his virtues, but Chenle should have known that already when he decided to make him wait in such a situation. As soon as he was close enough, Jisung grabbed him, dragging him through the sea of tired teenagers, cursing at their teachers and homework.

“Slow down, slow down, Jisung.”

Of course his words fell on deaf ears as Jisung only seemed to speed up his pace and by the time they arrived in front of your house Chenle was already panting, leaning his hands on his knees, but Jisung didn’t spare him a single glance as he approached the door and rand the bell, hoping to see your face as soon as the door cracked open.

“So much for keeping fit.” Chenle grunted out before moving to stand by Jisung’s side.

They heard shuffling from inside and the doorknob turned downwards a moment later, allowing them to come face to face with your mother, whose tired features morphed into a soft smile at the sight of the boys. They both greeted her politely and before Jisung could ask about you, your mother beat him to it.

“Hello, kids, come in, I thought you might come around.”

She moved away from the entryway, allowing them to step inside the familiar house and take their shoes off before following your mother in your living room and sitting down on one of the sofas. Jisung pursed his lips, used to you skipping cheerfully as soon as you heard the door opening, knowing that it could only be them coming over. Instead, he was met with silence this time which unnerved him even further.

“Y/N hasn’t been feeling well.”

The boys’ heads snapped towards your mom, concern washing over their features. Their eyes ran over her stance, slouched over with dark bags under her eyes, they could tell she probably wasn’t sleeping well and stayed up to watch over you.

“I thought it would be better by now, but the fever isn’t going away. They’ve been in and out of it for a while. A doctor came over earlier and assured us that we can treat it from home, but if things don’t go well soon, we should go to the hospital.”

“Since when?”

Jisung’s voice wavered, worry settling deep down in his chest. You hadn’t told him anything about not feeling well so a twinge of hurt swiveled around, tickling his wavering heart.

“The fever appeared yesterday evening, but it was mild. It progressed overnight.”

Jisung fiddled with his fingers, torn by the desire to see you, to put out the fire in his soul, soothe the storm in his soul with just the sight of you. Chenle looked over at Jisung who was lost deep in between his jumbled thoughts and spoke up on account of both himself and his friend.

“Can we please go in?” He motioned towards your door, enlarging his eyes and jutting out his bottom lip at the sight of your mother considering his ask. The question seemed to also snap Jisung out of his frenzy.

“Please, we won’t take long.”

Your mother still hesitated, worried about the boys also getting sick, but once she met their pleading gazes she could only let out a sigh.

“Alright, I guess a quick visit won’t hurt.”

“Yes! Thank you!”

They both jumped up from their seats, turning towards the hallway leading to your room with rushed steps.

“And Jisung!”

Said boy stopped in his tracks at the mention of his name, craning his neck to look back at your mom who regarded his with a playful smile.

“No smooches today.”

His face heated up faster than he could turn back around as he stumbled over his words in an attempt to mumble out a reply. His ears were bright red, forming a contrast with Chenle’s hand that reached out to grip at them gently as the older boy let out a snort.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Y/L/N, not on my watch.”

Your mother let out a quiet chuckle as she retreated back into the kitchen, leaving the boys to their business. Jisung didn’t hesitate to twist the knob of your door and push it open, but he almost regretted it when his eyes landed on you. It wasn’t the first time he had seen you sick, of course not, but never to this extent. His heart fell and it felt as if he stepped on it with every stride he took forward. As he neared your bed, he felt all of his happiness drained from him. You looked so frail, paler than your usual healthy skin tone. You seemed to be sleeping, but it was anything but peaceful, a frown furrowing your eyebrows together, your fingers twitching from time to time.

Jisung shakily sat down on the edge of your bed, afraid that if he jostled you too much you would break into pieces right under his fingertips. He brushed his hand against yours, curling protectively around your freezing own, despite the sweat shining on your forehead. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but Jisung was scared out of his mind seeing you like that.

The light of the sun shimming its way through the clouds seemed to fade even further away and the colors splayed around your room didn’t seem nearly as bright in Jisung’s eyes. The world looked duller from his point of view, paling at the same time as you, leaving him behind with a stuttering heart.

He barely acknowledged Chenle striding up to you too, his eyes fixed on your frame, too scared that if he dared to move away his eyes, you would vanish right before him like sand in the wind. Chenle threaded his fingers slowly through your hair, pushing away the loose strands covering your face and regarded you with soft eyes. Your frown seemed to diminish as you recognized the presence of your boys even while buried deep in your fever dream.

“Their lips are dried, where’s the water bottle?”

Chenle shuffled around for a bit, one of his hands never leaving your head as he stroked your hair gently in an unconscious attempt to lessen your pain. He bent down to pick the bottle once he located it but sighed at the sight of it almost empty.

“I’ll go fill it up, stay here.”

Jisung merely nodded at his words, his full attention never leaving you. His thumb caressed the skin of your knuckles, trying to somehow show you he was there, right beside you, loving you unconditionally and waiting for you just like a puppy waits for its owner with nothing but loyalty and unadulterated fondness.

He sighed and attempted to sit up and bring your chair in order to rather sit down on it than supposedly squeeze in beside you on the side of your bed, but he froze as he felt your shaky but firm grip on his index finger. He stared in awe at the way your fist curled around his large finger, his hand dwarfing yours, reminding him of the way a baby holds onto their parent when unsettled.

His once faltering heart burst with overwhelming affection for you at your small action. The way you held onto him as if he was your lifeline, as if his presence could cure everything and shoo your pain away. Jisung let a grin spread across his face for the first time since he had arrived at school that day, lowering his forehead bashfully to rest atop your intertwined hands. as he cradled them with his other one, engulfing them.

“Oh my God.”

He couldn’t even put into words how much you affected him, the way you could play him on your little finger and he would be too caught up with loving you to ever complain. Warmth spread into his whole body, sparkles running across his skin delightfully and lighting up another fire in his heart. A fire that could burn down the entire world, but could never touch you, just the way he would stand through anything as long as he had you. He let out a breathy chuckle, in disbelief at himself for only realizing now just how whipped he was for you.

“Oh my God, Y/N, you can’t do this to me now when you’re sick.”

He littered kisses anywhere in his reach, soft like a butterfly brushed against your exposed skin. Jisung nuzzled his nose in your crooked palm, seeking out the familiar feeling of your skin pressed against his. He needed you the way he needed oxygen, the way a swallow needs its wings to feel the wind threading through its feathers and leading it to freedom. He needed you unconditionally, not even a breath in between the two of you.

“Get better soon, baby. Come back to me so I can love you properly.”

Jisung pressed a long kiss to the back of your hand, still gripping his finger firmly, grounding yourself. His lips lingered over the cold skin that slowly warmed up due to his touch, brushing it as he spoke to you in hushed tones, promising you the moon and the stars as nothing mattered to him other than having you back in his arms, healthy and smiling.

And in that moment, with your fates knotted together, Jisung swore he would hold onto you until his last breath.

#cznnet #nct fluff #nct dream #nct imagines #nct jisung #nct angst #nct scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct jisung fluff #nct jisung angst #nct jisung scenarios #nct jisung imagines

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krreader · 4 years ago

Text

a tragic tale.

pairing: jung hoseok x reader fandom: bts warnings: no happy ending genre: angst word count: 1.7k+

summary: every story should have a happy ending, but your life was, unfortunately, no fairy tale.

a/n: you say make it really really angsty, so this is your own fault babe lol

“Hyung.. why are you still doing this,” Jimin sighed heavily as he walked into the bedroom only to find Hoseok putting a letter into an envelope, “It's been five years.. she's not reading them.”

“They help.. me,” whatever selfish reasons Hoseok might pretend they were, he still tentatively wrote out each letter of your name on the envelope, before letting his eyes scan it, as if he was trying to determine whether or not it looked nice enough for you.

He wanted it to look pretty for you.

And once again, Jimin let out a heavy sigh.

What happened between you and him had left Hoseok scarred. He wasn't the same goofy and happy person he once was, at least not in private. In front of fans and media, he still acted as if everything was fine, but the reality was an entirely different one. The reality, however, he only allowed the people closest to him to see. And those who did see this side of him, hated you for how much you’ve hurt him.

And that's not a feeling that anyone in Bangtan ever thought they'd feel towards you, not after you’ve cared not only for Hoseok during your relationship, but for all the other members as well.

Things were fine between you two, more than that actually. You were happy, have been for over two years and if it had been up to Hoseok, he would have taken the relationship to the next level eventually.

But it hadn't been up to Hoseok.

Because one day, you just up and left without another word.

No explanation, no goodbye, no apologies.

You just.. walked away.

Hoseok had tried to reach you for months afterward, was afraid that something might have happened to you, an accident perhaps, but he never got an answer to any of his messages or calls.

Until one day, a letter arrived.

“I don't know how to start this letter, especially because I never thought I would write these next lines. I also don't think I should begin with asking how you are, because from the amount of messages you leave me, I'd say not good. I wish I could explain my reasoning for leaving, Hoseok, but this situation is more complicated than you know. It also involves people around you that you love and cherish and I am not going to be the one to expose these people, despite wanting nothing more because of what they did to us. Yes, it was me who walked away, but believe me when I say it was not voluntarily. It was because I had no choice. Now this probably sounds like I got kidnapped, but I am okay, Hobi. I am trying to find my footing in this world again and I'm going to start by moving away. That is also why I'm sending you this letter. This is the goodbye that you never got. The goodbye that I hope will bring you peace. Please don't look for me, promise me that you'll find happiness again and that you'll forget about me. It'll be easier in the long run if you could. I'm sorry for everything, Hoseok, I truly am. All the hurt and confusion I caused you, all the questions you probably have, I am sorry. But please believe me when I say I never wanted it to end this way.”

It was supposed to be an end, but for Hoseok, it was simply the beginning. Your words made it sound like you had to leave and it had something to do with someone close to him.

Long story short, it ended in a witch hunt. A witch hunt that almost cost him his career because it ate him up from the inside. He stopped respecting his superiors because suddenly everything and anything they did seemed shady and one thing these people do not appreciate is being disrespected, especially by someone that they 'made'.

It took months, more likely even a full year until Namjoon and the others could finally convince Hoseok to stop this chase. That it would be no use, because what would he get out of it anyway?

You were gone and you had said it yourself, you didn’t want him to find you. If he got to the bottom of this, he might find answers that he didn't want to find.

It would be better if he just buried everything in the back of his mind. You, your memories and the hopes and dreams he had that involved you.

For a while that worked well.. at least that's what Bangtan thought.

But Hoseok couldn't let go, he simply couldn't, not when he didn’t think your story was over yet.

Jin was the one that found out about it when he saw a message from your best friend on his phone one day: “I can't tell you where she went, as much as I’d like to.. but I promise I'll send her the letter.”

And that's the only form of contact he now had with you.

Letters.

Every month, you got one.

Sometimes, he told you about recent events, concerts, interviews, other times he told you about just how much he missed you, and yet again other times he used these letters as an outlet for his feelings, hopes, and dreams.

He never got an answer to these letters and at this point, he didn't even know if you were still receiving them, because he long lost contact with your best friend. But he hoped she kept her promise and still forwarded these letters to you, because writing these words to you was the one thing that kept him going and that always made him look forward to the future.

“(Y/N) is gone, hyung,” Jimin tried a more straightforward approach this time as he sat down next to him, “She's been gone for years and it's time you realized that. It’s time that you move on just like she did.”

“She didn't want to leave. I know she'd not do that to me, not after everything we’ve been through.”

“What she said in that letter was probably just an excuse for her to leave you. Do you really think anyone from the company would force her to end things with you? They're not like that!”

“Are you sure?” and finally Hoseok turned his head to look at the younger member, “Are you one hundred percent sure that they wouldn’t do anything in their power to keep this group going, Jimin, no matter the cost?”

And when Jimin's mouth opened and then closed again, Hoseok had his answer.

“...it's not easy, life without you. No matter where I go, I always see you standing there at the other side of the street with a smile, and then when I blink, you're gone. It's like I'm trapped in this nightmare that has a tiny moment of happiness. And that happiness is you. I just hope that one day, I will be able to see you again, so that these moments turn into forever. I'm not losing hope, that's not me.. not when it comes to you, at least,” you finished the letter with a sad smile, your fingertips brushing over the words and finally, over his name at the bottom of it.

On one hand you were so happy that he still thought about you and that his love for you hadn't withered, but on the other hand you wished he would finally move on from you. Because even though he didn't ever say it in his letters, it destroyed him, this.. one-sided thing that you and he had going on.

He probably didn’t even know for sure that you were still receiving them, not after your best friend had moved away too. But you hoped he knew, somewhere deep in his heart. And it was selfish of you to think so.

You read and kept every single one of them and read them almost every night, wishing that things had ended differently and that you could finally explain to him why you did what you did.

He probably thought you did it for your own sake, but.. it was never about you, it was always about him. Or rather.. his career.

Because see, BigHit didn’t really like the idea that one of their idols might turn their back on them.

So they had left you with a choice.

Leave and never come back, or watch them ruin Hoseok’s career, because if he’s not giving 100%, they don’t need him anymore.

“I hope he finds the person he loves,” your daughter's words made you look up from his name, the smile now spreading on your face.

“I'm sure he finds them. Stories always have a happy ending, remember?”

The corner of her mouth curled into a smile, then she asked: “Can you sing me a song, mommy?”

“Uh, sure,” you wiped at the corners of your eyes, then put the letter away, before returning your attention to her, “What would you like me to sing?”

“Your favorite song,” she beamed with excitement.

“Hmm, let's see,” you pulled the blanket higher until it reached her chin, then you gently started singing: “Wishing on a sky, wishing on a scar, if there's the sun, I'd want to dream, wishing on a sky, wishing on a scar, if there's the moonlight, I wouldn't want to wake up..”

You only sang that little part that meant so much to you, because you were right there when he had written it. You were right by his side when it got released. You were the one that held him when he got so stressed about it and he started crying. You were the one encouraging him when he didn’t think he could continue. You were the one that he dedicated this entire album to after it was done.

And it all came flooding back in that moment, the memories of him that were always there, but that you tried to shut out of your mind for good.

“It’s a pretty song,” your daughter whispered after you were done.

“Yeah,” you smiled sadly, “My favorite.”

#bts imagine #bts x reader #jung hoseok x reader #jung hoseok imagine #hoseok imagine #hoseok x reader #j-hope x reader #j-hope imagine #bts #bangtan boys #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #jung hoseok #j-hope #reader #requests

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flovverworks · 1 year ago

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returning to ydays post so gbf spoilers for the event for sure, probably mhyk spoilers too

Morimori: But what's so wrong about forgetting? It's not his fault. And it's not Erbsu's or Nerine's either. Even the past town elders were forced to make tough decisions. Running from reality and forgetting the bad things is how we as people can live happy, treeful lives. Drusilla: Are you perhaps encouraging me? Morimori: I thought that was obvious. Even if you end up forgetting Nerine, you're not to blame.

this EXCHANGE........1) nerine's entire thing alrdy had me bawling but. i was alrdy thinking about these topics since ive been thinking about type0 again...@_@ i DO run off akira rmbring the wizards & everything, i talked about this a while back, but it IS true that arthur&co forgot the old sage's face & name almost immediately. theres a lot of fanwork too revolving around akira being forgotten/forgetting too (more strongly in the forgetting side, while forgotten rly is mostly.....name&face. points to yorushika's usotsuki for the billionth time). riquet's anni card about riquet's book.....there is sage's book, so why not make akira's book too? 1.5 with them not telling anyone what actually happened that night, and akira silently wishing that someone will one day ask them about their story. ive had this thought for soooo long too about akira writing down everything they rmbr of the wizards&their world when they return to their world, in order to not forget, in order to not lose it. 'you're not to blame' did a number on me big time

Nerine: I'm not sure why, but it feels like this sort of thing calls for more than a… thing. Drusilla: You mean a story would be better? Nerine: Whoa, how'd you know? I was going to write one as soon as I got back to the forest! Drusilla: I thought it might be worth learning from your example as well. Nerine: My example? Are you going to write a story too? Then this trip'll be great inspiration! Let's have lots of fun until the very last minute!

which essentially goes into this exchange too,,,,,T_T rather than an item, writing a story......telling a story......even if its not read by anyone, something that you can read and remember.......memories fade, stories remain, all that....

Drusilla: Sigh… All I wanted was for you to experience normal town life. Nerine: Huh? But that's impossible. I'm with you, aren't I? That makes it too special to be normal. Drusilla: …! I-I'm impressed you can say such things without even a hint of embarrassment.

akira before vs after meeting the wizards (but rly.....voicing ur feelings rather than keeping them inside....T_T

Nerine: How am I supposed to smile! I don't want to say goodbye! We haven't even eaten cake together yet! I can't believe this is the end! That I'll never see you again! Drusilla: This is the worst! I want to spend more time with you! Forget being special! Why couldn't we have met under normal circumstances!

figaros fkng mahopa. school april fools. that one chocolate meeting place vday event. theres another time where akiras like 'will i too be able to wave goodbye while smiling?' or whatever but i cant rmbr which event it is. anyway i was BAWLING

Drusilla: Thanks to Nerine, I realized something. I'm special to Nerine, and she's just as special to me. But it's not just her—the crew, my friends, and my family are all incredibly important to me. And they all have people who are important to them. Everyone is special to someone.

;_; 2nd anni............................1.5.......................pt2.............................. everyone is special to someone.......

theres admittedly also the mhyk 3rd anni website txt,,,

Even fairy tales without happy endings can one day be cherished all the same.

gggggg i wANT THE HAPPY ENDINGS THOOOOO korwa is so right for always talking about that. either way the full text talking about weaving a tale and similar,,,,i havent read that anni story still but the cards with 'capturing a moment'...T_T anyway i have an entire side thought on "happy", especially in regards to pt2 focus charas but ill get into that when pt2 is finished im so emotionally drained after this event + today.

there IS also an entire subject on the forgetting in the event in regards to gran's feelings in current msq but ill take that on gran someday. also especially the first part.....in regards to the part in 1.5 that makes it iffy whether akiras alive or not (especially considering what the Common isekai plot is)........i have thoughts regarding all that & how brad looked at akira when speaking about nova + how faust thought nova reminded them of akira in that 'u r not from here' way, but i still havent read ch17 and overall i assume theyre gonna drop the entire thing on us during pt2? so ill come back to that l8r but in general. man. this event story........im not used to being the target audience this often, last time was sui?? and before that sincerely???? 3 events within one year....waow.....

anyway im drained

#stardust speaking !#i have a billion thoughts on the first part alone but not now

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intothewickedwood · 4 years ago

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Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x12 Souls of the Departed

Currently reading (well, listening) to The School for Good and Evil Series. It’s so good! It’s basically Wicked the Musical and has a fairy tale element like OUAT. Can’t recommend enough!

I had the weirdest dream last night that Ouat’s Gothel was hiding behind my bed at my old house trying to scare me. She stayed up all night with some blankets, waiting to pounce. Also, she was naked. Jesus Christ, wtf is wrong with my dreams?! I do not see Gothel in that way at all!! I was so freaking disturbed! @fairytalepsuedonym this is all your fault for putting that dirty hippie witch bitch on my mind lol xD! /jk

Also guys, we’re getting Disney+ today. I’m so excited! Let me know if anyone has any recommendations.

And you know what I just thought of? It looked like they were implying that Merida and Lord Macintosh were gonna be a thing (possibly? I think it’s up for interpretation) but he outright shot an arrow at one of her brothers and wanted the others dead too. Merida would never! Her brothers mean too much to her to forgive such a thing. Also, she gives me gay vibes. I don’t make the rules. Alistair makes all the rules. 

Back to the rewatch.

Oh yeah! This is the 100th episode! The compilation for 100 episodes was so freaking epic!

Neal! Is that really him though?

She’s staring at his lips lol!

Omg! Emma would have come back for Neal if she could. That means she believes they were true love, and she could have split her heart with him, right?

So, he appeared to her? 

Omg! The way Emma is stroking his face and is staring at him, you’d never know she was working on saving her boyfriend lol.

You know what would have been so much better? If the underworld was perpetually dark and foggy (within reason) like the sims 4 Forgotten Hollow. That would have looked so much cooler!

Here comes the red filter. As a gifmaker and even as a viewer I wanna scream every time I see it but at least it’s not the Dark Swan arc.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: they should have let Regina’s and maybe even Rumple’s victims confront them! That would have been interesting to watch play out. I know we got Regina’s dad and Peter Pan but give me a family of Regina’s slaughtered villagers. What would their reaction be to seeing her?

Eww. I hate the way she dips her finger in that pie.

Guys. It doesn’t matter that you have Regina surrounded, she has pyrokinesis and telekinesis! Y’all are screwed! She blew the flames out? She had the advantage! I’m glad she didn’t hurt them of course, but as someone writing a book that consists of characters with magic abilities, you’ve gotta know when a powerful character has the advantage and when to use it. Where was Snow dodging a fireball as one of her arrows flies at Regina and it pauses in mid air only to sore back at Snowing and their friends, but they manage to outsmart her somehow? 

Woah. This is the boldest Henry Sr. has ever been. He’s really trying to help Regina out here. 

Cora!! My love!! I missed you!!

I love the Blind Witch. Does she have a name? I enjoyed her in ‘Regina Rising.’ I remember she’s quite a bit older than Regina

The Blind Witch: “What can I get you? Do you like gingerbread or children?” Omg Snow’s like “what the actual f**k??”

James, why are you like this?? Get off her, dude.

Those key rings are cool.

Why the hell didn’t Emma just tell Henry she saw his dad? I can think of absolutely no reason why she would keep that from him.

Lately all Robin has done is make random comments pointing out the obvious. “It’s uncanny. It’s so similar yet so off.” Yes, Robin we established that 9 minutes ago. His next line will be, “Goodness, is that a tree over there?” or “Regina, you were the Evil Queen”, mark my words. Where has his personality gone? I was never a big fan but at least he was kinda arrogant and cheeky before, at least in season 2 and 3. Now he’s just a dude that points on the ground and tells you there’s a stone. And they have the chemistry of a banana and a cheese cracker.

“Her puny army of sweaty little child beasts.”

Are those black roses? 

I may be wrong but wasn’t Cora trying to get Regina to stop hunting Snow White and find true love instead in 4x20 or am I making things up? And I wonder if this is before or after she appeared in 4x20. 

I just love Cora so much.

Is that how she got to the EF in 4x20? Through a looking glass?

The fact that she could so easily cross realms suggests that she willingly gave Regina her space. Which is something! But it feels like she’d have ulterior motives for that. Also Jefferson and Rumple would be screaming if they knew it was that easy to cross realms.

Regina: “are you threatening me?” Cora: “No. Of course not, never.” But you literally are though.

Peter Pan! He was under-utilised this season. Come on! They could have done so much with him! I’m glad at least Cora and Cruella got decent screen time.

Imagine watching OUAT for the first time with this episode and you see this full-grown man refer to a teenage boy as is father. I would be so confused lol.

I wonder if Rumple / Rumple’s father hail from Dunbroch originally. You know, with the Scottish accent. I’m kinda thinking about headcanoning that now. At least, I think Malcolm had a Scottish accent?

That got me! I forgot Cora had glamoured into Henry Sr.! I thought Cora had shapeshifted into Snow to trick Henry.

Oh, so Henry Sr. contacting her was the reason Cora could walk through the looking glass. If only someone had contacted Jefferson. And I’ve just remembered that in 4x20, she said a white rabbit brought her to the EF.

Killian looks creepy as hell here!

Lol Cora, you let Henry wrap the heart? What did you expect to happen!

Why did Regina need Snow’s heart to kill her? She could have easily killed her without even touching her. 

What the hell does Snow think is in there? She looks terrified.

Archie, wtf were you doing between Snow’s titties?! And what were you doing with a match? Gonna set some titties on fire xD? I bet she could never look at him the same again. 

He doesn’t want Regina to kill Snow because he thinks it will make her dark forever? What about all the other people she’s killed?! That makes no sense!

Okay, given that Grace didn’t seem to physically age much between the flashbacks in 1x17 and the present day in 1x17, this probably happened after the flashback’s events in 4x20. 

According to wiki, Regina’s birthday is February 1st. I’m only learning this now.

I’ve never seen Henry Sr. so bold and Adam end to help Regina.

Okay, so Regina shrunk Henry with her magic but she needed a mushroom to return him to his normal size?

Don’t lock him in that box omg!!

Cora: “when are you gonna get it in that thick head...” she’s so casually abusive.

Random thought but why is Henry’s surname Mills? It just seems like it’d be Cora’s surname. Maybe he took hers on but that seems strange for a Prince to do.

Cora, don’t!

Henry’s alright!

Aww. Henry got to meet his 3rd Grandpa! He’s so happy she named him after him. 

I’m tearing up.

“Remember who you are, Regina.”

Henry, honey, you need to go home.

Is that Persephone?

Oh my God! I’m so excited for the Cora and Zelena stuff!! By far my favourite thing of the season! To hear Cora say Zelena’s name- the fact she knows her name- I’d waited for so long for this! It left open so many questions!

And Hades infuriated with Cora on the love of his life Zelena’s behalf!! He loved her so much and would do anything for her. I don’t ship it as much as I initially did because of how it ended but that man freaking loved and cherished Zelena. He wanted everything for her. She desperately needed that and it was an emotional experience to see her get it.

That’s like her worst nightmare, being a peasant again. 

I can’t with the flame hair.

I forgot this episode was pretty good. I didn’t remember liking it but Cora saved it for me. I forgot she was in it because I have probably watch season 5 the least as I try to avoid it lol. 

#ouat #once upon a time #regina mills #the evil queen #cora mills #ouat rewatch #ouat rewatch 2019

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firewoodfigs · 4 years ago

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into each life some rain must fall

Six times he stands before a grave in the rain, grieving. But this time, courage is reborn. [5+1 Things]

read on ao3

Riza Hawkeye is terrifying. This is the first thought that crosses Roy’s mind when he sees her slicing up the carcass of a chicken (or is it a duck?) without even flinching. So when it rains that day, he doesn't think it’s necessary to find her, in hopes of passing her an umbrella. Truthfully, he doubts someone like her is even capable of catching the common cold.

Perhaps it’s childlike bravery, or sheer stupidity, but Roy decides to search for her anyway. He can think of many reasons why this is an awful idea. First, Roy knows he’s kind of good-looking, the same way he knows he’s sort of ingenious and incredible. But he also knows his aunt is paying a lot of money for his lessons, and that he’s here to learn; not to chase girls or get a girlfriend. Second, he knows from his sisters’ stories that the female imagination is capable of unimaginable things, and he most certainly does not want her, of all people, to get the wrong idea.

If word ever gets out about the little stunt he’s about to pull, his sisters would never let him live it down.

But thunder rumbles in the distance, and rain pelts down incessantly, relentlessly. It’s enough to make even a grown man shiver. So he jogs over to her school in quick strides, searching for a socially awkward urchin with messy golden hair and a terrifying glare.

Roy only manages to find her in the end, after what must have been hours of searching. She’s not at school, no. She’s kneeling in front of a tombstone with a bunch of wilted freesias and roses, staring blankly at the inscription written on it.

He says nothing, only lifts his umbrella over her grieving form and lets half of himself get drenched.

Miss Hawkeye glares at him when she finally notices his presence, but accepts the umbrella begrudgingly nonetheless. As she turns around to face him, he sees rivulets streaming down her cheeks, and Roy wonders if it's the rain or her tears.

She rubs her eyes impatiently. “It’s just the rain,” she insists, even though the umbrella shields her from the raging storm overhead.

ii.

Master Hawkeye dies in his arms after begging him to take care of his daughter. He’s only twenty, halfway through the academy and still unacquainted with death. He’s too stunned to care about decorum and propriety and honorifics at the moment, and ends up yelling for Riza to come.

She appears a moment later, hair still a dishevelled, dampened mess; knuckles white from gripping the doorframe so hard. Her eyes are hollow and she’s too numb, too shocked to say or do anything as she stares at her father’s unnaturally still form.

For a long while, nothing he says seems to elicit any kind of response from her. It’s almost like she’s catatonic; trapped in another dimension where he can’t reach her.

He ends up taking care of the burial and the estate and everything else.

The funeral passes by in a haze. It’s a small, quiet affair. His master has never had many (or any, actually) friends to begin with, anyway, given his eccentricity and preference for seclusion.

Roy stays by her side before a gravestone again afterwards. It’s a sunny day. She doesn’t kneel this time; only stares quietly at the name engraved on it like it belongs to a stranger rather than a father.

To his dismay, he learns that, unlike him, she has no other living relatives or family to turn to. How lonely must it be, then, being trapped in this nondescript, deserted town all by herself?

So he offers her his contact details; his dreams and aspirations for the future as an excuse for them to maintain some semblance of a friendship. It’s probably closer to an acquaintanceship, given that they hadn’t really spoken much even during his stay at the Hawkeye manor. Either way, it’s better than being all alone, he thinks.

In exchange, Miss Hawkeye simply responds with a small, sad smile before asking if she can entrust her back to his dream; offering her own naive ideals and hopes for a better, brighter future.

And then, she unbuttons her blouse as soon as they return to the manor to unveil an intricate array begging to be deciphered. For all his brains and talents Roy can only stare, shell-shocked.

What the hell had his master done?

The sky begins to weep for the abuse she’s endured for the sake of bearing an alchemist’s legacy. But the misty rain can’t wash away the ink splaying out like blood on her back; the pain she must have suffered during the excruciating procedure.

“I’m sorry,” is the only thing he can say to break the silence that hangs over them like a death sentence, as he crosses the distance between them to ghost his fingers over the apology inscribed onto her back.

Miss Hawkeye offers him an impassive shrug. “It… it doesn’t matter,” she mumbles, but her shoulders are quaking and her hands are trembling as she grips on to her blouse for dear life.

iii.

The war finally ends. Rain descends from the heavens like drops of silver after what must surely have been hell on earth. A rarity, Roy thinks, where condensation in the air is caused only by blood, not water. A gift from the gods (do they exist?), perhaps. He lifts his palms heavenward, as if begging for the rain to wash away his sins; his scars and his very soul.

It doesn’t. A soldier like him now inured to violence and gore doesn’t deserve such a reprieve.

At the very least, though, the Hero of Ishval is grateful that it renders him useless. A hero. The title sits uncomfortably on his tongue, in his gut. He’s nothing more than a murderer; a monster, and he doesn’t want any medals of gold or glory emblazoned across his military garb. Not when they’re just symbols celebrating death and destruction.

Roy watches from the distance as a sorrowful silhouette with a familiar tuft of blonde hair kneels over a makeshift grave.

“An Ishvalan child, shot and left to die on the roadside alone,” she explains reverently with a forlorn smile, when he inches closer to ask whether it’s a fallen comrade.

He swallows thickly. God, if only he’d kept his ugly mouth shut back then. Then maybe she’d still just be shooting birds and rabbits and antelopes. Maybe she’d still be making chicken soup for dinner now (imagining the smell of cooked meat is enough to make him nauseous). Maybe she’d still be stuck in the raffish countryside; in that countrified, eerie manor all by herself.

Being alone, he thinks, is still infinitely better than being surrounded by cadavers in a deluge of blood-stained sand.

The… sniper (The Hawk’s Eye leaves an awfully bitter taste in his mouth, like he’s biting a bullet) clenches her fist when she’s done, before asking him for the impossible.

“I have a favour to ask of you, Mr. Mustang,” she begins. “Please burn and crush my back.”

“There’s no way I can -” Roy replies immediately, almost yelling. How in the world could he burn her flesh, with the alchemy he’d learnt from her back?

“Please,” she says, begging for him to liberate her from the bonds chaining her to a deceased man so that she can be her own person. Just Riza Hawkeye, not the keeper of her father’s secrets.

“Damn it,” Roy curses under his breath. She makes it sound like it’s her fault for entrusting her father’s research to him. But isn’t he the one who had abused the power entrusted to him; defiled her trust, destroyed her hopes of everyone getting their happy ending somehow?

And yet... endings like these only exist in grand castles and fairy tales. Not in arid, scorched deserts, and most certainly not in their horror stories of ruthless murder and bloody genocide and endless strife.

If only he’d been a little less foolish back then. If only.

Roy relents.

iv.

Rain pours down in heavy, roaring torrents when he burns her back. Roy wishes it could fall through the roof somehow; douse the fire eating her at her flesh so he doesn’t have to hear her suppressed screams that come out as whimpers as she bites down on an old, ragged cloth. It breaks his heart to burn her, a friend he’s come to cherish and appreciate through all the hell they’ve endured together over bland coffee and stale bread.

But he does so anyway. Because it’s what she wants - no, what she needs. He lets the massive downpour swallow the sounds of their cries; lets the wind carry away the lethal secret that has killed hundreds (or thousands?) into the dark, endless void.

“It… it’s done,” Roy whispers breathlessly at last. He removes the burnt tissue carefully, mindful of her quivering frame before covering them with sterile dressings. Then, he gives her the painkillers he’d gathered from the apothecary, which she eagerly swallows.

He doesn’t dare meet her eyes while she’s still conscious, fearing that he’ll only see hatred swimming in them. How could she not, after all that he’s done? He wouldn’t blame her, to be honest. She has every right to, and he deserves every ounce of it.

Fortunately, the medicine kicks in quickly. Roy kneels before her half-lucid form as her eyelids begin to flutter shut. God, he wants to beg for forgiveness, but...

“I forgive you,” she murmurs sleepily even before he says anything, before finally falling into painless oblivion. Roy stays by her side, nervously close and gentle as he wipes her forehead with a cool, damp cloth to make sure a fever doesn’t develop.

Afterwards, he goes to her parents’ grave to beg them for forgiveness; to repent for all that he’s done to their daughter.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t fulfil your last wish, Master,” he cries, filled with regret that he hadn’t listened to his warning back then. The stones only stare back at him wordlessly. Self-reproach swallows him whole, the way squalls of driving rain completely engulf him.

A little less than a month later, Riza Hawkeye marches into his office, stoic and stalwart with an unrivalled expertise in guns and an unyielding duty to the living and the dead. He’s inclined to believe that maybe, just maybe, he can make the necessary reparations and restitutions with her by his side. And so he makes her his personal adjutant; gives her the right to shoot his back if he steps off the path.

It’s the least he can do after he’s defaced hers, after all.

“Will you follow me?” Roy asks apprehensively.

“If that is your wish, then even into hell,” she states, not flinching in the least. He wants to tell her that she’s already been through hell with him, and she doesn’t deserve anymore of that.

Instead, he grits his teeth and looks on ahead resolutely, determined not to let her down this time.

Brigadier General Maes Hughes is buried on a relatively bright afternoon. The sun shines as birds sing and flowers begin to bloom. The spring sky shimmers overhead in a vibrant, cheerful shade of blue like it’s paying an ode to his sprightly nature.

And yet, the ceremony is distinctly somber: it’s filled with soldiers who aren’t allowed to break protocol and say their eulogies and prayers; a wife whose heart is torn asunder, who still yearns for him to return home, and a child who’s far too young to understand that he’s not coming back.

Colonel Mustang stands at attention as the soldiers lower his best friend six feet under. His stomach coils as his heart wrenches. He feels like throwing up again. A part of him wishes his body would stop behaving in this manner so that he can at least attempt to convince himself that this isn’t real; that it’s just a feverish dream which will be chased away by the morning light.

But it’s real. It’s not a dream. Because Elicia, darling Elicia is crying for her father. “Why are you burying Papa?” she yells. “He has to return to his work!”

Roy only barely manages to stop himself from grieving aloud. Years of military training, perhaps. He continues watching quietly as the bugle sounds off in Hughes’ honour instead, and waits for everyone to leave before saying his piece.

Well, almost everyone.

“... Are you alright?” His Lieutenant asks.

“Yes,” he answers unconvincingly. “It’s… it’s a terrible day for rain.”

She looks up at the vast horizon above them, a pretty pastel pink with tender ribbons of lilac streaking across. “It’s not raining -”

“Yes, it is,” he whispers, before donning the military cap once more.

Thankfully, Hawkeye understands. She gives him a moment to grieve, not bothering with senseless platitudes or empty sympathies. A crow caws in the distance, calling for the departed soul of his friend as he stands, uniform dry but cheeks inexplicably damp.

“Let’s go, sir. It’s getting chilly here,” Lieutenant Hawkeye calls gently. Colonel Mustang nods and obliges, leaving his best friend behind in the setting sun.

Daybreak arrives once more, like clockwork. His eyes are raw and red and swollen shut as he mulls over the consequences of ditching work for the day.

Hawkeye turns up at his doorstep with freshly baked bread and a warm cup of coffee just then: the morning light that offers him a brief respite from grief.

vi.

It’s pouring this time as he stands in front of Hughes’ grave. Somehow, it always does whenever he stands alive before death.

The sky and rain are like sackcloth and ash, Roy thinks, as it falls on his shoulders and shrouds him from the rest of the world in a sad, pearly grey. But he’s been so scared and frustrated and exhausted over the past few months - from losing his closest friend, to dealing with a government corrupt to its very core and an impending nationwide catastrophe - that it’s a welcome relief.

“It’s almost time, Colonel,” comes a gentle voice in the midst of the gloomy darkness.

The downpour gradually lessens into a soft drizzle.

It’s impossible to miss the scent of her, lavender and petrichor masked beneath gunpowder even in this graveyard reeking of death. And it finally dawns upon Roy then, why the time they’d spent apart had felt like an eternity; why it’d pained him so badly like someone was ripping his innards out. Because he loves her. He loves her so much that it pushes out through every fiber of his being; that he almost can’t contain the urge to kiss her; hold her, keep her in his arms forever.

Behind him, he hears her feet shift subtly. Her breathing is weary and slightly laboured. A well-timed reminder that she’s very much alive, not buried underneath soil like the other rotting corpses in this god-awful place.

Roy bites on his lips, hard, to restrain himself from crushing them on hers. They don’t need any more fires between them when they already have enough to extinguish.

But she’s here now, at least, and that’s more than enough. It’s enough for him to keep moving forward despite having buried a part of himself alongside the man he’d seen as a comrade, a friend and a brother. It’s enough for courage to be reborn; for him to face another day with strength and hope.

“Let’s go, Lieutenant,” he says at last, a genuine smile crossing his features for the first time in months. She hesitates for a moment before trailing behind him, footsteps quiet and steadfast. And when they depart the land of the dead (together) to meet the maelstrom awaiting the living he’s not afraid anymore.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #5+1 fic #5+1 things

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ladyideal · 5 years ago

Text

Our Love 3/3

Pairing: McKirk x Reader

Word Count: 11.5k (it spiraled away, I’m sorry.)

Warnings: Geez, where to begin. Lots of alcohol, lots of cursing, description of injuries, fighting, mild panic attack, major character death, really 95% angst, crying and sobbing. (Probably missed something, let me know if I do.)

Summary: After three years with Leonard, and one year with Jim, both your boyfriends proposes to you during Jim’s bday. You said yes. With a new away mission, both Jim and Leonard were called down. Even though you had a bad feeling about it, you let them convince you it will be okay. It was not okay. Honestly, go read the story.

A/N: Welp, here’s the end folks. And I’m quite at a loss of having typing down almost 12k words in this part. It’s long, but it’s worth the read, I promise. This has become my longest story ever, and I’m proud of it. Hope you like it still, @cuddlememerrick. I did tell you it was gonna break your heart. I chose “Close Your Eyes.” as my last prompt. You’ll only get 2k of fluff. That’s it.

Please get a box of tissues ready. I promise you’ll need them.

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3

Jim confessed.

No, he wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t upset. In fact, he wasn’t feeling any of them. He loved you. He wanted you. He loved Len, and Len did too. After a talk with Leonard late one night, you and him agreed. Logically, two became three.

Starfleet had mentioned no relationships with the direct superior, something that Spock continued to point out every time he gets the chance. Jim snorted, and waved it away. To hell with that rule, he said. There was no way that Starfleet could really enforce that rule without making several people upset.

Plus Jim was unorthodox that way. As a Captain, he wasn’t very strict with the rules, a more laid back attitude to them. Sure, it gave you problems and headaches when annual ship inspection came around. But it was worth it.

It was worth having Jim as your Captain and now boyfriend.

Since then, your relationships with your two boys have only gone up, and much better. It was double the fun, and double the love. It wasn’t easy to spend time together, especially as Captain and First Officer, your shifts were staggered in order to accommodate between the three shifts. All three accommodated the circumstances by working on the ship.

You cherished the time together when you can. Whether it was going down to Engineering and almost always having a displeased Doctor yelling at you for being so careless or spending time at the holodeck or drinking at the officer’s lounge and passing out, it was good times.

Especially since the horrible fight with Leonard, you and him had reconcile and found a better way to help convey your side of the opinion and then his. It took time to get back to where the relationship was previously, but with Jim on board, everything was seamless.

It was almost as if you were living a fairy tale dream. Your two princes and you all dressed up in a wonderful life. Leonard snorted at the idea when you mentioned it to him, but in his eyes, you knew he was pleased. Jim was the opposite, laughing and grinning at the idea. You even wondered if it was even a good idea to tell him that. By his shit eating grin to go off of, you knew that he was cooking up an idea in his head.

You weren’t disappointed.

Since Jim’s birthday was in a week, Jim had finally announced that he wanted his birthday party to be a fairy tale themed. Immediately, you and the doctor both rolled your eyes at his antics. The blonde pouted.

“Come on, Y’N,” He tried to convince you. “I know Bones wasn’t going to like it. But you? Please.”

Throughout the day, he’d begged you in all sorts of different ways. A message there, a message written on the foggy mirror, a sticky note on your computer, a frowny face on your PADD, and so much more. He’d even somehow got Leonard to jump on board, and help with his pleading.

“Enough Jim,” You finally broke down, shaking your head at him as you sat across from him over dinner. “Alright, alright. I’ll do it. I’ll put something together for you, but only because you’re insufferable.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

You did it anyways. Swinging down to the education side of the ship, you spoke to the teachers there to organize an event with the kids. Draw some pictures of the Captain and even draw some pretty castles in the background, and make it a contest. It would be a nice background and decorations around the rec room when Jim was able to get off duty and judge who was best.

Cake. You frowned in the kitchen of your quarters, looking down at the recipes that your PADD was able to come up with. Being on the ship was hard enough, much less had enough of the ingredients you needed. You sighed.

Replicator it was.

While you were busy mixing the sprinkles within the batter, a pair of strong arms and the scent of bourbon enveloped you from behind. Ignoring your surprised squacks, Leonard gently planted a kiss on your cheek.

“Leonard McCoy!” You grumbled, swatting his arms away. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Good thing I’m a doctor,” The bastard smirked. “Baking Jim’s cake?”

“If you keep hugging me like that, I will never be able to get it finished on time,” You groaned, lightly pushing away from him. “Now come on doctor, get an apron on. Still need to get started on the cupcakes.”

You threw a nearby apron to his face, grinning back at him. Reproachfully, he pouted at you, but pulled the offered apron off his face, and rolled his sleeves up.

“Where can I help, sweetheart?”

Rows of children’s drawings of Jim hung across the walls of the room, and a large “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAPTAIN KIRK” decoration slung above them all. The large cake and a dozen or so frosted cupcakes sat in the center, and a modest pile of unopened presents sat tucked away in the far corner of the entrance. Officers milled about, all with a drink in their hands. Uhura was dancing with Spock, Scotty was already drunk and waving his arms around as he spoke to an equally drunk but interested Chekov, and Sulu was dealing out poker at another table.

“Thank you so much, Y/N,” Jim hurried over when you and Leonard finally entered.

“Hey, what about me?” Leonard grumped as you were lifted into the air.

“Let me down, Jim,” You laughed, kicking slightly in the air. “Let me down!”

“You too, Bones,” The Captain smirked over at the doctor, but reluctantly set you back down on your feet.

“Happy birthday, Jim,” You and the doctor chorused, kissing the blonde and grinning as Leonard kissed his cheek too.

“How did you get the kids to draw all these?” Jim pointed at the pictures and models of him.

You smirked. “All I had to do was say it was your birthday, and whoever draws the best picture or the best model wins a prize. Judged by you,” You spoke, watching as Leonard left the conversation to grab some bourbon from the bar. “You do have to give out three honorable mentions though.”

Jim laughed, and brought you tightly to him again. “Thank you so much, Y/N. You really outdid yourself this time.”

You beamed at him. “Anything for you, Jimmy boy.”

Jim eyed Leonard for a moment, and in that silent exchange, both men nodded.

“Alright, everyone,” The Captain spoke up louder this time, gaining the attention of those that attended his party. “Thank you for coming to my party. It was spectacular, much more than I ever expected on a ship, and away from home. You can thank Commander Y/N for planning and setting everything up.” He paused, briefly smirking at you again.

“But I have a surprise of my own.”

You frowned slightly, confused at the turn of events. It was supposed to be you having the surprises, like the lingerie bag hidden underneath the bed, not the birthday boy himself.

Leonard slid closer to you. “Close your eyes, sweetheart.”

With no other choice, you obeyed. Closing your eyes, you listened to the shuffles in front of you. What the hell was going on.

“Now open them.”

Your eyes widened at the sight of the box held by Jim and Leonard in front of you, and both your boyfriends on one knee. Feeling your heart leap inside your chest, your jaw dropped in surprise. Several officers around you gasped loudly. A surprise squeak bubbled out of your mouth, as you understood what was going on. Rather carefully, Jim pried your left hand away from your mouth.

“Y/N, when I first met you on the ship three years ago, I couldn’t believe there could be anything that shone brighter than the stars. I thought that this could be it, that you were the one that I was looking for. I have this ship, I have this crew, and most importantly I have you. I was scared at first. My reputation hasn't been the greatest, and thought that alone would scare you away from me,” Jim smiled tentatively up at you. "Being on this ship is scary enough all alone with no one beside. I know I make more mistakes than I have made right ones. But I promise to do my best to do it right for you, for Bones, for us.”

You could only blink in response, wiping away tears with your free hand.

“Sweetheart, when I first met you three years go at your cafe, you rudely barged into my life with no care at all,” Leonard picked up, pausing when you giggled. “You set my coffee down, made me eat those overly sweet cookies, and talked with me even though I was a total stranger. You didn’t know me, and I only knew your cafe because all my nurses were begging me to go and try your coffee out. You made me realize that there was still hope in the future, and that you were it. I know I can be temperamental at times, but you love me just the way I am. Joanna loves you, same with ma, and everyone else in our family and Jim’s. We want to spend the rest of our lives with you.”

“Will you do us the honor of marrying us?” The two spoke in complete unison.

Tears streaked down your cheeks as you nodded.

“Yes,” You spoke, clearing your throat. “Yes!”

With breathtaking smiles, you watched as Leonard pulled the snug diamond ring out of its confines and slowly pushed it up your finger.

You stared in amazement at the row of dazzling diamonds on your hand for a minute, before lifting your head up at the sounds of people cheering all around. Leonard and Jim beamed as congratulations were offered, and the party continued long into the night.

"I can't believe you Jimbo, for pulling that off," You grumbled, but the smile on your face robbed you from being serious. "You too Len."

"Can't a guy have his tricks up his sleeve?" The blonde spoke, changing out of his regulation shirt into his pajamas.

"Besides Y/N," Leonard added on, digging through his drawer for some sweatpants. "You're not sneaky enough. We've known for quite some time about what's hidden under the bed."

You gasped out loud from under the covers, and groaned in frustration. "Come on! It was supposed to be a surprise." You pouted at your now fiancees.

"You don't hear us complaining, do you?" Jim wickedly smirked. Your eyes widened at his words, then swung over to an equally smug Leonard.

It was going to be a long night for you.

It was a day later when the Enterprise received a distress call from one of the Federation colonies. Jim being Jim insisted that he was going to go beam down, and somehow managed to convince Leonard to join him.

“J, are you sure about going down? I can go in your place,” You punched a couple buttons on your PADD, entering his ready room without knocking. Frowning at the lack of response from your captain, you looked up in time to see Jim gently nipping at Leonard’s lower lip. You shook your head.

“Close your eyes, Bones,” The blonde purred.

Of course.

“Ahem,” You loudly cleared your throat. Immediately the doctor and captain bounced apart, faces red after the amount of making out they were having.

“Good god sugar, there’s somethin’ called knockin’,” Leonard scowled, smoothing out his tunic. “You should try it sometime.”

Jim waggled his eyebrows at you. “How long have you been standing there watching us, hmm? Bet you want to join us.”

You rolled your eyes at the blonde. “While you went and had your fun,” you paused, glaring daggers at Leonard as though the make out session was all his fault.. “I really need to get this away mission sorted out.”

Jim shrugged, righting his shirt. “Just me, Bones, and some security is needed. They’ve got some injured, and need some supplies to be beamed down to the colony.”

You frowned. There was a bad feeling about this mission, almost making you nauseous as your stomach rolled. “Jim, something feels wrong about all this. They want you and Leonard specifically. No other missions have been like this. You, yes, but not Len.”

Clapping you on the shoulder, you watched as the captain sat back down in his chair. “It’ll be alright, Y/N. It’s just a routine mission.”

“Now hold up Jim, you didn’t say that they-,” Leonard interjected.

You bit down at your lower lip, unsure. “You’re the captain here, I can go down instead. If something happens, it’s not only you anymore. The ship can’t lose its captain. It’s a gut feeling, J. Something’s wrong down there.”

“You said it yourself, doll,” Jim leaned against his seat. “It’s dangerous out there for you. Let me and Bones take care of it.”

You huffed in frustration, turning to Leonard once more. “And what about you? You’re hardly one that likes to go down for missions like this.”

“M’Benga has gone down the last five missions that needed a doctor,” The doctor scowled at Jim. “And someone has to keep an eye on the infant. Heaven forbid that I look away from him for a second, and the next minute he’s sporting an injury.”

You threw your hands up into the air, done with the pair. “This isn’t over,” You grumbled, pivoting on your heels and storming out.

Needless to say, the next two days you needled and prodded at the two whenever you got a chance whether it was face to face or by via messages. You couldn’t believe your fiancees. If both went down, and god forbid something does happen, you would be losing one, or even both. Jim was always a risk taker, but what surprised you was the doctor.

Leonard was one to never go down on a mission, if he could help it. In fact, he would be turning to the other doctors and nurses to fill in the spot so he wouldn't have to go. Now, him volunteering himself to go down, was absolutely mind boggling. You didn’t know what else to do, but to badger them as much as possible.

“Get some sleep, doll,” Jim spoke firmly to you in front of your shared quarters, and gazed into your eyes. “Someone out of us three have to be the alert one, and watch it all up from the ship where you won’t be in harm's way.”

“J, please. You have to listen to me, Something’s not right,” You pleaded quietly. “I can’t lose you or Len if something were to happen.”

“And nothing is going to happen, Y/N,” Jim gently brought you into a tight hug. You laid your cheek on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. “I’ve got Bones beside me, and I’ve got you watching from above. It’ll go fine, I swear.”

You chuckled weakly. “You can’t make that promise, Jim,” You croaked, tears welling up in your eyes. You couldn’t lose him or Leonard or both. It would devastate you. “Not when every time you go down for a mission, something always goes wrong and you always land yourself in Medbay.”

“Tell me, baby doll, what are you wearing on your hand?”

“A-a-a r-ring?” You stuttered out in confusion, flickering your eyes up at his face.

“A promise, Y/N,” He gently corrected you, rubbing comforting circles on your back. “My promise to you, and Bones’s promise too. No matter what happens. We will be back.”

You whimpered silently into his shirt, and closed your eyes briefly. Other officers walking along the same corridor skirted around you as much as possible, but some had lingering curiosity. You could care less at the moment. All you wanted, desperately hoped for, was for both your fiancees to return safe and sound.

“Get some sleep.”

“You too, Jim.”

Leonard was already fast asleep on the bed when you entered. The lights were at 10% brightness, something he must have thought ahead for you. As softly as you could, you stripped off your uniform, threw it into the clothes hamper, and slowly squeaked out the middle drawer for your pajamas.

After brushing your teeth in record time, you sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing your unshed tears away. The mattress squeaked when you sat down, but silenced as you crawled under the covers. As though the doctor could sense your body heat, his arms shot out, and gently pulled you in to him.

“Wha took you so long?” He mumbled quietly, still sleep addled. An eye peeked down as you yawned, pressing yourself closer into your teddy bear of a doctor.

“Jim,” was all you managed out, closing your eyes.

“It’ll be okay, baby girl,” Leonard replied. “We’ve got you.”

Despite your fears for the coming day, you shoved your worries away for the meantime and let yourself drift away. It wasn’t long before the other side of the mattress dipped down and squealed, another pair of arms wrapped comfortably around your middle. You’d tensed up briefly, but relaxed again as Jim kissed your cheek, careful to not wake you.

“I’m here, doll,” Jim settled himself right alongside your body.

“Always.”

With that, you were lulled back into a dreamless sleep.

Beep.

As your alarm blared loudly from one of the nightstands, you were stuck between two furnaces of bodies, and limbs thrown carelessly at every angle. It didn’t take long before the men on both your sides groaned and whined unhappily.

“Someone shut the thing up,” Leonard grumbled unhappily from your right. You groaned this time, sliding deeper under the covers in an attempt to catch a few more zzs.

“J, please,” You mumbled, poking the captain insistently for a few minutes.

He was awake in an instant, rubbing his eyes open. “Who set the alarm so early?”

“You told me to last night,” You replied from within the covers.

“Oh, shut up the thing first.”

Naturally, Jim stuck a foot out and tipped the blaring alarm over the edge and onto the floor with a light crash, finally ending the noise for good.

“I’ll have Scotty fix it later.”

Leonard groaned again with a quiet finally. The three of you continued laying in bed for another moment before you reluctantly untangled yourself from both Jim’s and Leonard’s arms, and sat up.

“Come on, you two. Can’t have the Captain and the CMO late.”

It took some prodding, and some veiled insults to finally get both your teddy bears up and out of bed. Even then, both seemed rather grumpy as everyone started their morning routine.

As the two men hogged the bathroom, you hummed to yourself as you poured in some real coffee grounds, and then hot water into the coffee maker. After a moment, you steeped it, and poured a generous helping of coffee into three mugs. Knowing Leonard wanted his coffee black and bitter, you set his aside and concentrated on Jim’s next. With a little bit of sugar, into yours and Jim's, you stirred both mugs, and ending it with a splash of milk into yours.

You adjusted your gold shirt in front of the mirror, rubbing your eyes every once in awhile. “Coffee’s ready,” You called out when the door to the bathroom opened.

“That the real thing?” Leonard called from the bedroom, hunting down a new shirt to wear.

“Yup.”

“And you’ve been hiding it away from all of us?” Jim asked in feigned disappointment from the couch, trying to lace up his boots. “I could have had this kind of coffee a long time ago, and the actual caffeine would really kick in.”

“Only break it out on the harder days.”

“That’s not fair,” He whined. “You brought this from your cafe, didn’t you?”

“Dammit Jim,” Leonard emerged from the bedroom with some lingering bed hair left, saving you from explaining. “It’s too early in the morning for your yapping right now.”

You laughed. Leonard grunted beside you, and picked up his steaming mug on the kitchen counter. His arm snaked around your waist, and you smiled in the reflection. Before long, Jim stood on your other side with his mug in one hand, and the other on your shoulder.

“Okay you two ridiculous asses, it’s almost 8 and we’re still in the room,” You grouched after a moment of content silence.

“Look who’s talking first,” Jim grinned. “And I know you enjoy watching our asses in the regulation pants. Don’t deny it, doll.”

“Shut up, Jim.”

You chuckled, and grabbed your mug on the way out the door as you followed them.

Two hours went by as you and Jim sat on the Bridge catching up with the Gamma crew and then looking over at missed messages. You frowned down at your PADD, head bent down as you took another sip of your coffee.

“It’s some good grounds you got there,” Jim leaned over your shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of what you were working on. “Should pop it out more often. Coming for breakfast?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You set your tray down beside Leonard’s and Jim’s across from yours. You’d finally give in after the prospect of replicating some chocolate chip pancakes and bacon was too tempting to ignore. The doctor eyed your breakfast with a scowl.

“Isn’t that a mountain of unhealthy sugar and fat you’ve got there, Commander?” He pursed your lips at your choice of breakfast.

You rolled your eyes at him, ignoring the snorts from Jim. “Want some, Doctor? It’s not bad at all. The replicator got it mostly right this time” You offered.

“No thank you,” He wrinkled his nose, and went back to scooping his yogurt.

“Your loss,” You shrugged, but said nothing when you let him steal a piece of bacon off your plate too.

To most of the crew, it was a normal day. To you though, your worry gnawed at your thoughts. Halfheartedly, you worked your way into cleaning the plate in front of you. A lot of things could go wrong, and you weren’t sure what you would if this particular away mission went badly sideways. As though he could sense your thoughts, Jim grabbed one of your hands into his.

“It’ll be okay, Y/N,” He assured you. “I’ve got Bones with me. He’ll keep me safe from the bad guys.”

You shook your head. “I can’t help it, J. Until you both are safely beamed back up, I won’t know what’s going on there. I’m letting my two favorite people down onto the planet with nothing else but phasers and others to keep you safe.”

“We’ll keep you posted at all times.”

You didn’t look convinced by his words.

“Hey, hey sweetheart, breath for me. You’re turning pale,” The doctor watched you, setting his fork down with a clatter. “I’m still here, Jim’s still here. We’re not going anywhere. But I need you to take some deep breaths for me first.”

It took a moment for you to reign in your terror, and drawn in a deep breath.

“There you go, you keep breathing like that,” Leonard encouraged you, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. You took another shuddering breath in, and smiled weakly up at him in gratitude.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart. Jim and I will always be here for you,” He paused, scowling over at the Captain. You let out a breathy laugh, and returned to your breakfast.

“Once this is all over, we will be in each other arms laughing upon it tonight,” Jim smiled at you.

“Just be safe, okay?” You looked seriously between the two men.

“We promise,” Both your fiancees replied in unison, and you couldn’t help but tentatively smiled back.

When you were full, and almost sleepy again, Jim turned away from the conversation with the other senior officers, and towards you and Leonard. “We should get going to the briefing, Bones, and you need to be back on the Bridge soon, Y/N.”

Half an hour went by before the Captain and the doctor reappeared by your side on the Bridge. Nothing much had changed, save for the medkit swung across Leonard’s shoulder.

“How’d it go?”

“We’re ready to head down to the transporter room, and have a rumble with them,” Jim answered first. You raised an eyebrow at his words, a habit you’ve caught on from no other than the doctor beside.

“Okay okay, we’re ready to help them out, and get our asses back here with you,” Jim hastily revised his statement when he saw both the scowl on Leonard's face and your raised eyebrow.

“I’ll go down with you,” You stood up, indicating for Spock to take the conn. “Let’s go before Len frowns the entire universe upside down.”

You made small talk with the two on the way towards the transporter room. It was mostly gossip, but it was something to fill the silence. When you reached the transporter room, you realized that the other members of the away team had already arrived and received their phasers from security.

“Well, I guess this is it,” You turned back to Leonard and Jim, gazing up at their faces.

“We’ll be okay, I promise,” Jim hugged you again, kissing you full on the lips. He lingered there for a moment before breaking away from the hug. “I’ll see you real soon, doll.. Take care of the ship for me. Let me worry about the mission, okay? I love you.”

You nodded. As Jim stepped away to call out the rest of the security going alongside him, Leonard approached you, face full of concern. He knew what you were going through, and understood the worry that spiraled you into a mild panic attack.

“Hey, I know you’re anxious about this mission, Y/N,” The doctor delicately cupped your face with his palms, gazing down at you affectionately. “But I’ll be there to watch Jim’s ass and he’ll watch mine. We’ll be fast, I promise. Get ‘em fixed, get ‘em their supplies, and we’ll be back on the ship in no time.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart,” He kissed you, and you eagerly responded back. Staying in his embrace for as long as you could, you closed your eyes and leaned your cheek on his chest.

“I love you,” You muttered, just loud enough for him to hear your words.

“I love you too,” Leonard murmured softly.

You and him stayed in the embrace for the rest of the time it took the Captain to straighten out his team and up onto the pads. It wasn’t long before you heard the shuffling and rearranging of people when you heard the cough.

“Bones, we need to leave,” Jim regrettably called out.

“Love you,” Leonard kissed you on the lips one more, this time in full view of everyone else. You kissed him back. Too soon before the doctor broke the kiss and stepped towards the pads. You smiled sadly at them all.

“Energize.”

In a blink of an eye, they were gone.

The Bridge was silent as you paced repeatedly from left to right, spin around, and back where you came from. It was nerve wracking being on the ship, and having your two fiancees down there on the ground.

“Kirk to Enterprise. Do you hear me?”

“Captain, we read you loud and clear,” You replied immediately, stilling for once.

“We are at the edges of the colony, but so far there seems to be no life.”

You frowned, resuming your pacing once more. “There’s no one?”

“No one in sight,” Jim confirmed. You heard the trace of worriness in his voice. “The sun’s up already in the afternoon, should be seeing movements and daily life by now.”

“Check a little further in, and see what’s going on.” Your pacing increased as did your worry.

“Will do, Kirk out.”

You waited.

And waited.

And waited some more

“Bones, is it just me or something doesn’t exactly feel right?” Jim spoke, leading the front as he surveyed the quiet settlement in front of him. The wind screeched around the buildings, and echoed as the trees swayed, and rubbed branches against one another. The back of his hair stood up, and goosebumps traveled up his arm..

Nothing felt right.

“It’s too calm if that’s what you’re tryin’ to say,” Leonard too was on high alert, instinct screaming at him that he shouldn’t move closer into the eerie calm colony. He sniffed the air, and stilled. The scent of copper was in the air, faint, but very noticeable. “Jim, there’s blood in the air.”

Jim looked over at Bones, and looked back towards the front. He squared his shoulders, as though he had made the decision.

“Phasers up everyone,” He instructed, pulling his out too. “We’re going to have company really soon.”

By this time, several hours had passed by and no other news was given.

“Any luck you’ve got there, Lieutenant Uhura?” You shot at her, finally sitting down in the Captain’s chair after nearly exhausting the floor that you were pacing on earlier.

“I’ve got their signals, but they aren’t picking up,” Your best friend spoke from behind, and you sighed, nervously running a hand through your hair.

Spock watched you as you turned into a nervous wreck, silently striding over to you. “Perhaps it is best we send the other team down, Commander.”

“I’m going down, and leading the back up,” You jumped to your feet.

“Commander, may I remind you again that you are the First Officer aboard this ship. Regulations state that the Captain and First Officer can not both be present on an away team,” Spock spoke.

You scowled, bristling at his words. To hell with the regulations. What with the dread curling tightly in your stomach and the lack of communication, you were beyond worried.

“Starfleet can reprimand me all they want, but I would rather be safe than sorry right now. You’ve got the conn, Spock. I have to do this. Nyota, could you send a message down to Security to have the back up team ready in the transporter room in five?”

Once she’d given the affirmative, you swept out of the Bridge and into a turbolift without a backwards glance. Impatiently, you tapped your foot and crossed your arms across your chest. You should have never let them down. If only you were a bit more convincing, made both Leonard and Jim realize that they should send other people down and not themselves, you wouldn’t be in this current situation. When the lift doors opened, you hurried out towards the transporter room.

“Scotty,” You turned to the Scot in front of the controls.

“Commander,” The Chief Engineer glanced up, pausing his fingers on the network of buttons and levers and all sorts of gadgets there.

“Could you comm Medical for me, and have them on standby?” You accepted your phaser with a nod of thanks at the Ensign. “Two teams should be enough. Send them down when I give them the okay.”

“Aye,” The Scot nodded, reaching for his comm on the side to do so as you ordered.

Stepping up to the transporter pad, you counted the number of security heads going with you. Ten, you counted, making eleven with you. Should be enough, you reckoned.

“Everyone ready?” You called out, stuffing your phaser away.

“Ready, Commander.”

You took a deep breath, and loosened up your tense shoulders. Whatever happened down there for no one to radio back in could only spell one word: Death.

You would do whatever it took to save your boys, and your crew. And if that meant you were going to go in guns a blazing, then so be it.

“Energize.”

When you and the team materialized on the planet, you swung your head back and forth in confusion. There were supposed to be fire starting, dinner cooking, sounds of little kids running around and chasing each other, sounds of the elderly complaining at the kids, and the rest of the adults out and about on their daily errands. It wasn’t easy as a newly found Federation colony, but the colonists worked it out after some adjustments.

“It’s quiet,” One of the lieutenants spoke from behind you after a moment.

“Let’s see what’s going on. Phasers out,” You ordered, taking yours out too. Slowly, your team descended down the small hill, and warily approached the settlement. Your eyes roamed around as far as they could, taking in the structures as you passed them. The wind blew unsteadily, and there were times you swore that there was an alien like screeching behind you.

“Commander, look!”

You whipped around, halting the team at the exclamation. You furrowed your brows at the speaker, then looked down on the sandy ground where a comm was found smashed into broken broken pieces. Looking back up, you grimaced at the implication of what it meant.

“They were being followed,” You indicated a couple set of distinct footprints on the sand, much different than the Starfleet issued boots that officers wore. Frowning down at it, you squatted down along with several others to better examine it. Carefully, you traced the prints with a finger.

“Romulans,” You spoke just loud enough for the team to hear. “Several of them too.”

The team glanced at one another, and you sighed, rubbing your temples. Straightening up, you tilted your head up high at the structure roofs. “Stick together everyone, and listen very closely. We’re going to have to have a fight on our hands.”

The next thirty minutes, you spent focusing on your task while doing your best to not let your mind wander away too much on the possibilities of where the previous team ended up. Dread curled tighter within your stomach to the point that you physically nauseous at the thought of your two boys injured, or even dead at the hands of your enemies.

It was easy to give up the control, and spiral yourself into an endless variety of worry and what ifs. You took a couple deep breaths, in and out; a technique that Leonard taught you to steady yourself. Honestly, you were glad that you listened to him when he said so-.

“Commander, did you hear that?” Someone spoke behind you, and you frowned. Opening your mouth to reply, you caught the sound yourself. It was shrill, but muffled as though something was covering the sound up. It went silent for a moment, and at first you thought it was just part of your imagination. Then, it happened again, but now less discordant.

Nodding your head towards the direction, the team headed left to investigate the sound. What you were greeted with was a nightmare beyond imagination.

Blood was splattered on the building and on the ground in front of you. Three security officers laid face down on the ground, and a landscape stained with a river of blood flowing in between the buildings on either side. Broken bodies shot dead with phaser wounds and other injuries could be seen laying in a row, executioner style. Men, and even women and children were all dead on the ground in massive pools of blood. It seemed like no one was left. Just beyond the corner though, you noticed a singed piece of blue fabric fluttering in the wind

“Double up, half of y’all scan the perimeter, 100 yards and report back here,” You barked, gulping as you approached the blue fabric. Please, please, please no, you begged, desperately wishing on any deity above that Leonard was alright. Rounding the corner with your phaser out, your eyes widened.

Leonard was tilted against the wall of the building, as though he was shielding something away from harm. There were bruises and scrapes on the visible parts of his body, but it didn't seem like he was seriously injured.

“Len? Love?” You called out, crouching down beside his head. With a shaky hand, you placed your index and middle finger together, in an attempt to find his carotid pulse. Initially, you’d panicked when you couldn’t find it, but stilled gratefully when his steady heartbeat pulsed against your fingers. Weak, but it was there.

“Dammit, Len, you scared me. What the hell am I supposed to do without you and Jim?” You muttered, beyond relieved that at least one was alive. Before you could fish out your comm, a quiet gurgle could be heard in the crook of Leonard’s arm. Curiously, you gently moved Leonard onto his back, only to find a tiny bundle held tightly against his chest.

You gasped, ignoring the sounds of your badge going off, confirming the perimeter was secured and that the three other security officers were still alive. Softly, you lifted the infant up and into your arms, gently rocking the little boy. You ducked your head once more, and brushed your lips against Leonard’s.

“Come back to me, you hear?” You whispered, nuzzling his cheek with yours. “I’ll see you back on the ship, love.”

Cooing gently, you bundled the baby tightly in your arms, and returned back to the spot where your team huddled together.

“Is that a-?”

“Yes, it’s a baby,” you interrupted the ensign. “Do me a favor, and get my comm out. Need to get a hold of the ship.”

Hastily, he did so.

“Commander Y/L/N to the Enterprise.”

“Spock, here. What’s the status?” The half vulcan answered.

“Not looking good here, Mister Spock. We found half of the team unconscious and all the colony inhabitants dead,” You explained, shifting the baby again. “There is only one survivor at the moment; an infant boy. Have one medical team be beamed down at our exact location. Tell them to not go any farther into the city.”

“Any word yet on the Captain?”

You cringed. “None for now. We’ll keep locating for them. Judging by what we’ve seen, they were followed by Romulans. Doctor McCoy has been found, but not the others.”

There was a pause. “Understood, keep us in touch, Commander. Spock out.”

You sighed, and cooed silently at the baby. One thing led to another, and now this was no longer a back up team. This was rescue, a complete 180 of what you were expecting to do.

“Ensign here, hold the kid,” You gingerly transferred the baby into the arms of a nearby Ensign. “Wait here for the medical team. They should be arriving any moment now. Get back up to the ship when they’re done. Everyone else, we’re going to find the rest of the team. Any questions?”

The team shook their head no, and with another concerned glance where Leonard laid, you took the front and led the team deeper into the colony. The warm wind howled as it twisted and turned between the buildings, and shadows lengthened as the sun slowly dipped down below the horizon.

Damn, you swore. It was bad enough that some of the team was missing, but it made the mission even more precarious as darkness enveloped the planet. You were running out of time. If you couldn’t find them with the last of the sun’s rays, it would take the team even longer to find the rest.

With the odds stacked against you, you continued as best you could, eyes and ears opened for any disturbance. Out of nowhere, beams of orange and red could be seen and shouts were heard in the distance.

With your heart dropping to your stomach, you indicated for the rest to run. The sounds of screams were good in a way, at least someone was still alive. The silence for the last couple hours was almost deafening, and there seemed to be nothing but death lingering in the air. Hopefully, you could get them out of the sticky situation, grab the Romulans, and return without any trouble. But of course, the universe had other plans in store for you.

“Shit,” You cursed, docking behind a corner as the Romulans waged an all out phaser battle. You made sure the team doubled up, and the odd number left, stayed with you. Breathing heavily, you peered around the structure, observing the Romulans from up above some of the rooftops. You scowled, turning back to your partner.

Already, you spotted some of the previous team members huddled together alongside the walls of another building across from where you were. When they finally met their gaze, they lifted their arms and gave a weak thumbs down. One indicated a body not far away from them, and drew a line across their neck with a finger.

You cursed again. One casualty already. Many more if you didn’t end this quickly.

“We have to take them out, or we’re gonna end up being sitting ducks,” You grumbled, breathing hard. Already you had accumulated some minor injuries, and the layers of sand and dust being kicked up by the fight irritated your throat making it hard to breathe at times, but you pushed on.

Scurrying into the building you were laying against earlier, you hurried up the stairs and onto the second level. Dropping onto the floor to avoid being detected, you and the lieutenant wiggled your way towards the balcony. Placing your phaser through one of the decorative holes and aiming, you squinted.

“Tell me, Lieutenant,” You spoke. “How long is the pause between each blow of the wind?”

The lieutenant hemmed and hawed for a minute. “About three minutes, Commander.”

“Count for me. When the wind kicks up, let me know. The sand will obscure our position, and I can take down more of them this way with less visibility.”

You took the silence from the Lieutenant as a sign of assent. Licking your dry, chapped lips, you patiently waited, all the while everything screamed at you to keep moving. You let out a breathy sigh, the only indication out of your features that chaos rolled within your mind.

“Now.”

As the steady wind picked once more, you aimed your phaser again at the Romulan across from you that were giving the rest of the team a hard time. With your finger on the trigger, you pressed it. Screams of pain could be heard from the other side, but you swung your phaser to another, taking the three out in succession before anyone could comprehend what was going on.

Wanting to help out, the lieutenant put up shop the same way you did, and started sniping at the romulans from those wanting to stage a surprise attack. A few phaser bolts came in your direction, forcing you to duck back down. You grunted in pain as some of them made contact with the wall you were hiding behind, wincing when a larger piece of rubble came down and smashed your other hand.

“Commander?”

“No no, keep going,” You hissed out. “Can’t afford to stop now. They’re still pinned down.”

As the screams of pain got weaker and there was less resistance from the other Romulans, you closed your eyes briefly. You’d definitely broken one of your wrist, and you were 99% sure that a phaser bolt grazed your right leg earlier, and blood was trailing down your pants.

“Ground team got the rest, Commander,” The lieutenant spoke as the rest of the team threw a thumbs up at the balcony where you laid against.

“Splendid, let’s haul our asses down and see the damage,” You weakly pushed yourself back up into a standing position. With the help of the lieutenant, you hobbled your way towards the street where the rest of the your team stood.

You looked around their faces, studying them all. Scratches there, bruises, broken bones, but miraculously everyone but one was still alive. You could thank the stars for that. You already had two casualties on the list, and it was already one too many.

“Anyone seen the Captain?” You weakly coughed out. Your heart sank deeper as everyone shook their heads, and you shook your head. “Lieutenant, comm the ship. Have the second medical team be beamed down here. I’m going to go search for Jim.”

Without waiting for an answer, you turned back towards the building once more, hoping you could get a better vantage point from up top. Squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to get a hold of yourself from the growing pain, you opened them up to look up at the starry night.

Where are you, Jim?

A sparkle of gold from the edges of your eyes caught your attention. At the low lighting, you squinted in the direction. Visibility was low, and growing worse as the night went on. It wasn’t going to be long before a sandstorm kicked up, but you couldn’t leave Jim on his own. You couldn’t. When the moon appeared again from the clouds, you gasped out loud as you saw the moonlight bounce against his gold shirt on top of a building some distance away.

Cursing, you hurried as fast as your legs could carry you. The medical team had already beamed down, and was tending to the more critical members. Some watched as you streaked past them, and those less injured attempted to follow you.

One minute Jim was fighting close quarters with a Romulan and then the next minute, the second floor exploded, sending him several yards away. Orange red bolts of phasers repeatedly fired at both him and the rest of his ragged team. He assumed that the other half he sent away never made it back. Yet, everything sounded fuzzy to him, voices were going in and out like a broken record player. It was silent for one minute, and then loud screaming the next. They were all foreign and distant.

The blood gushing from his head and chest would attest to that. However, no matter how bad it looked, he didn’t feel pain. In fact, all he felt was utter bliss.

No. He wanted to see you and Bones again.

“Jim!” You screamed out, the same voice that soothed him on a stressful day; the very one that encouraged him on the harder nights. Arriving at where he was, you immediately knelt to the ground, desperate pushing your hands on his most critical injuries to put pressure on. “Jim? Jim, please. Open your eyes, baby.”

It was Jim. Your Jim in fact.

You just about died right then and there. Seeing Leonard was horrible already, but now this was a whole ‘nother level.

In the cool night, all the captain could think of was how beautiful your voice sounded, like the beautiful sounds of wind chimes swaying in the wind. For a moment, he imagined Bones and himself in handsome tuxedos, and you in their hands as they announced you wed in front of all your friends and family. For a moment, he let himself be content.

“Hey doll,” Jim opened his eyes, instantly grinning at the sight of you. You were pretty in gold, he had always mentioned to you. That you were just as pretty as a wickedly gold star in the night sky. To him, you were his angel in gold. “You came for me.”

“Hey J,” You choked up, briefly pressing your comm badge to alert medical to get their ass up. “It’s not looking good though. You’re bleeding everywhere. And oh god, Len-Leonard isn’t doing too good either. Does it hurt?”

You felt stupid though. This was your first time comforting someone on the brink of death and all you could offer was if they were in pain. You weren’t a medic, and certainly didn’t have anything on you that could ease the pain.

“Not anymore,” Jim smiled up at you, weakly bringing his hand up to your cheek. Automatically, you obliged him, nuzzling your cheek on his bloodied hand. “So beautiful, my beautiful star, my gold angel.”

For a moment, you let yourself smile. It was a familiar gesture that was between only you and Jim. It meant that he was okay, that you were okay. It broke your heart at the sight of his comforting hands. He was trying his best to console you, even though you were supposed to be the one doing it to him.

“I love space. I love the planets. I love the new things, but nothing can compare to me loving you and Bones,” he whispered, a slight slur in his speech now. He gazed at you with the utmost adoration and love you had ever seen from him. “You and Bones are my love, and I love you all so so much.”

Then it hit you why he was saying all this now. This was his goodbye.

Anxiety hit you like a semi truck, as you drew in a shaky breath. You knew it was bad, you knew that by the time the Enterprise could beam him up and rush him down to Medbay, it would be far too long to save him. Still you held onto hope. “Listen J, you are not dying on me and Leonard, okay? Hold on a little longer, and-and we can go find a priest or whatever and legally wed us, do you hear me?”

“Okay, Y/N,” He spoke, giving you his signature shit eating grin. You released a deep sob, nowhere near as happy as Jim was at the moment. This couldn’t be happening at the moment. This was the famous Captain James T Kirk of the goddamn USS Enterprise that took no shit from others, and believed in going out and doing right. “Doll?”

You raised your head a fraction upwards, meeting his baby blue eyes. His smile was gone, and all that was left was seriousness in those eyes. You had a feeling you knew what was going on. Intuition yelled at you to do something, anything to get him back onto the ship, but you could hardly move your limbs, let alone have the thought of moving him anywhere. Your eyes were glued to his gaze.

“I have one more wish.”

You shakily nodded at his request. The snot and your tears mixed with one another, and you hastily wiped them away as best as you could. “Of course, J, anything you want.”

“Close your eyes, Y/N. Tell me about the date again one last time.”

Each syllable destroyed what remained of the shattered pieces of your heart. That was his one last wish, his very last memory and he wanted to spend it with you in his final moments. And honestly, who were you to deny such a thing to him?

“Yes, Jim. Of course, anything for you.”

Drawing yet another shaky breath in, you slowly laid down next to his body, despite the fact that the warm blood stained your entire body and hair. With a flip of your uninjured wrist, you opened up your comm, wedged it between your bodies, and closed your eyes as requested. Sooner or later, Nyota would catch on that this needed to be transmitted ship wide.

“Alright Jim,” You gulped. “We were at the carnival back on Earth during one of the few shore leaves we had. It was getting dark, but you pulled your pout at the operator of the ferris wheel, begging him to let all three of us get on it one last time before the park closed. Eventually, he let us ride it again, but the time was halved. You didn’t care, Len didn’t look too happy at you at the thought of being stuck on the ride again. But we rode it. At the top, you pointed out the different constellations, the various other Federation planets, and the Spacedock where the ship was docked, wheeling around the planet.”

An audible gasp could be heard from your comm, but you ignored it. Some came from the stairs too, but you concentrated on your story as best as you could.

“It was then that you said you were ready to settle down. Find an officiant to wed us together, and we’d be happy forevermore. You said that all you needed was me and Bones, and that that was enough in your life. You had your captaincy, your ship, your crew, and us. You said that even if Starfleet took away everything, at the very least you still had me and Bones. Then afterwards, you took a couple photos of all of us together with the night sky in the background, and soon we were going back down again. Len called you a sap, and grumbled that he would never put up with your antics ever again. We all knew that was a lie though,” You trailed off at the end. Jim couldn’t help but smile at your words. Slowly, he closed his eyes, as the lights disappeared.

Once his breathing completely stopped, you tightly held his cold, still hands in a futile attempt to ground yourself one more time before you let go of consciousness.

“Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise, aged 28, lost his life in a fight against the Romulans.”

After that, you passed out beside him, letting the darkness overwhelm you.

Beep.

A rather annoying heart monitor beeped alongside your heart, and you weakly opened your eyes to the grey and white ceiling above. For a moment, you laid there in confusion. Why were you in Medbay this time?

Then everything hit you all over again. You groaned at the thoughts, of seeing Jim’s broken body, of talking to him one last time. Your heart rate jumped as the memories endlessly cycled.

“Easy there, Captain,” A face leaned into your eyesight, blocking the harsh overhead light. For a split second, you thought it was Leonard that was speaking to you. Then frowned in confusion as Leonard stopped calling you by your rank unless it was for something official.

“Doctor M’Benga,” You managed out, wincing at your desert like scratchy throat. “Where is Leonard?”

The doctor nodded to the bed beside yours, and you followed his gaze. Leonard laid on the biobed, looking peaceful as ever. For once, you were glad that he didn’t know yet. It was going to be a painful conversation when it did happen.

“Leonard is alright, in much better condition than you are,” The doctor regained your attention. “Slight touch and go for a little while there with you. Couple of broken bones that still need a couple passes with the osteo generator, and a couple times with the dermal regen is what you need left.”

“Does he know yet?” You asked, voice trembling once more.

“No, not yet, and it is best to keep it that way until both you and Leonard are in better physical condition,” The doctor shook his head. “He should be waking up soon though. Get some rest, Y/N.”

You frowned, and immediately put up a fuss about going back to sleep. You wanted to stay up, and wait for Leonard so he could be the first thing you saw. Apparently M’Benga disagreed with you, and eventually sedated you back under, claiming that there were enough injuries to heal and didn’t need more emotional ones to add onto it.

M’Benga was right though.

Soon, Leonard was up after an hour or two after you were sedated. Groaning, he opened his eyes, and sat up.

“Good to see you too, Leonard,” M’Benga moved over to Leonard, face impassive.

“Geoff,” Leonard greeted, laying back down on the biobed. “What happened? Where’s the baby and Jim and Y/N?”

Geoff grinned wryly at the other doctor, handing Leonard a glass of water. “Y/N beamed down with a rescue team, found you and the rest, and got you all beamed back onto the ship. As for the baby, he’s with Christine at the moment. The Captain is in another room, and Y/N was just sedated again right there.”

Lying in front of his superior was something he disliked doing, but for the meantime it was necessary. After all, it was still correct in a sense.

“Doesn’t look so good,” Leonard replied, observing you from his biobed as you peacefully slept. “What happened there?”

“A phaser battle presumably,” One side of the attending physician’s mouth twitched. “Y/N was up before you, and wanted to stay up to speak with you.”

“So naturally Y/N made a fuss about it,” Leonard rolled his eyes, but felt the warmth that you were willing to wait for him.

“Yes. Leonard you’ve got a mild concussion,” Geoff hurried onward. “Other than that, if no other complication arises, you should be cleared to leave the next time you wake up. Get some rest, Leonard. I’ll handle everything for the meantime.”

“Thanks Geoff.”

Couple hours passed before you woke up once more, looking even more exhausted than before. Geoff greeted you again with a faint smile, and had Christine speak with you while she ran the dermal regen on your more superficial cuts.

“-And then it all just happened at once,” You mumbled, laying back on the biobed as though you’d exhausted all your energy.

“It’ll be eventually alright,” Chris assured you.

“I still got so much to do, and I’m afraid of taking up command and breaking down. You know the regulation-.”

“Hey sweetheart,” A familiar southern gravelly voice interrupted you from the bed beside.

“Len!” You brightened up, silently thanking the stars above that Leonard was alive and well. Slightly injured, but alive at the very least. You wouldn’t know if he couldn’t make it as well.

“Thank god you're awake, sugar,” Leonard grinned. “Heard you gave Geoff a hard time.”

You turned red, and blushed. Turning away from him, you kept your gaze on Christine’s work.

Geoff chuckled as he strode over. “Good to see the both of you more coherent.”

“Doctor M’Benga.”

“Geoff.”

“In this case, Leonard you’re free to leave whenever you’re ready,” The doctor then turned to you. “Y/N, once Chris gives you the thumbs up, you can leave also. I’ll have you scheduled with Leonard in three days for a follow up on your femur and wrist.” He gave you a nod, and a brief sad smile.

“I’ll wait, and take Y/N back to our quarters.”

You nodded at what Doctor M’Benga was mentioning at, and heaved a deep breath in. Oh boy.

“Fortunately Leonard, the baby boy that we found,” The rest of M’Benga’s words were drowned out by you as you focused on the pale pink skin on one of your cuts. Jim’s lips were pink too, and soft, and pretty much everything you needed. Now, you didn't know what to do with yourself.

“Alright, Y/N, you’re good to leave with Doctor McCoy,” Chris finally straightened, wrenching you out of your thoughts. “I’ll see you back here in three days, you hear?”

“Thanks, Chris.”

“You know Nyota and I will be here if you need a shoulder,” Chris gave you her knowing look, another sad smile on her face.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s go home,” Leonard took your hand firmly in his grasp, and led you back to your shared quarters.

“Len?” You mumbled on the bed, cuddling him. It was two days since you were down on the planet. There wasn’t any chance since then for you to cry it out, and Leonard still didn’t know.

“Hmm?”

“I-I want to speak to you about something important,” You pushed yourself up, wincing at the added pressure on your newly healed wrist.

“What is it, sweetheart? Can it not wait for tomorrow?” Leonard sat up also, holding you close against his bare chest.

You shook your head no.

“It’s about Jim, love.”

“What about him?” The doctor quietly rumbled. “Geoff told me that he’s fine, and stable. A slight touch and go with the extent of his injuries, but we can go see him tomorrow.”

"Leonard,” You twisted around to properly face him, and caught his gaze.

“Jim is dead.”

Later, you and Leonard insisted on seeing Jim. Volunteering himself, Spock had stayed by your side as he walked up towards the small line of silver body bags. Your hands clung to the edge of the table with white knuckles as the half Vulcan unzipped the bag slowly.

You bit the bottom of your lip as you let Leonard approach Jim first, wiping your tears away. Tearing your gaze away, you settled your tearful gaze on Spock instead. You knew that despite his stoic face, his gaze had softened a fraction from his usual rock hard sharpness. The broadcast was transmitted ship wide during a brief red alert, you'd learned afterwards, which meant all 465 crew members heard it all.

The Bridge and the senior crew were all too close to him. Nyota, you, Spock, Len, Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, everyone was affected in some way or manner. He was liked, and easy going. Everyone liked him. You could imagine Sulu holing up with his plants, Nyota crying in her quarters and Spock comforting her the best he could, and both Scotty and Chekov almost drinking their stash dry.

“Y/N,” Leonard hoarsely beckoned you over.

“Hey J,” You croaked out, placing a gentle kiss on Jim’s forehead. “I love you, so so much.”

The letters had been Leonard’s idea. One from Leonard to you, another one from Jim to you, and the same with Jim. Leonard. Letters written in the event that in the event that one of you died, there would be final words in hopes of giving comfort to the others. Just like your will, you, len, and Jim would update it from time to time, always hoping that there would never be a need to open them.

After speaking to Spock that you and Leonard would be taking the next day off, Len guided you out and slowly made your way back to your shared quarters. Leonard was a seasoned doctor, patients’ deaths weren't new to him. But to a loved one? He only felt cold and empty within, colder than he had ever experienced.

You brought out three glasses from the kitchen, while Leonard popped open a new bottle of bourbon. With a nod from you, he poured a generous amount to each glass. You reached out for your glass, and paused. Sliding your gaze up to him, down to the third glass, and back up to Leonard’s puffy hazel eyes, he nodded in understanding.

You both clinked the third glass, then to each other before tipping the glass upside down. You were on your fourth glass of booze before you even remotely remembered the letters inside the drawers.

“Sh-should we then?” You nodded your head towards the drawers.

Leonard’s gaze sharply brought back to your tired ones. He nodded.

With a huff, you slid out of your chair, and strode over to them. Rubbing your eyes again for the hundredth time or so, you slid out the bottomest drawer where Jim’s clothes were stacked neatly on top of each other. You’d remembered, as it was your turn to do laundry, and it was only you who would fold Jim’s socks that nicely. Pushing them away, your hands trembled as you gingerly took out the two letters. There was one more underneath, but it wasn’t for you or Leonard. Letting out an unsteady breath, you sat back down in your seat, giving Leonard’s his.

Y/N.

You stared at his gold ink lettering, and reluctantly turned it over. Breaking the seal on it, you carefully peeled it open. Pulling the sheet out, you were surprised when two photos tumbled out onto the dining table. Curiously, you flipped one over and smiled despite your tears.

You and Jim were skating on an ice rink. You were bundled up from head to toe and falling over. Jim was half turned to you in the middle of a laugh, while you were in the middle of falling. You hated the photo so much, and you remembered how much your hips hurt after that time on the open rink. He loved it though.

You sniffled, and felt your tears well up again when you turned your attention onto the second picture. It was you, Len, and Jim on the ferris wheel, the same story that you had spoken to him on his final minutes up on that roof.

Whimpering, you tore your eyes away to look over at Leonard. He too wasn’t doing so well either. Setting the photo aside, he turned his attention to the letter now. Your tears streaked down your face and dripped constantly onto the table as you read.

Hey Y/N,

If you are reading this, then I guess this is it.

You’re sad and frustrated, I know. Sometimes I feel like I can read you more than I can ever understand myself. Whether it’s twenty, thirty, forty years before we’re united again, I can’t wait. But don’t rush back to me. Live your life the way it ought to be lived. Become the next Captain, have a life, and settle down with Bones when it comes time. My biggest regret in life is that it was so short, and cut off right at the time where I wanted to live through the most. Bones once told me that love was harsh, and unforgiving. When I met you though, you blasted that all away in a heartbeat. However, I’m not afraid of what life would be like without you, but what your life without me.

I’ll never forget the memories that we shared together. The first hug, the first kiss, the first time all three of us enjoyed ourselves on shore leave, and the time we spent together on the ship. I’m glad that Nyota finally pushed me into getting to know you better.

Take care of Bones, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and please take care of mom for me. She’s already lost dad, and it’ll be even harder when she learns that I’m gone too. I’ll be up above, watching over everyone. I’m not gone completely. You have memories of me, and my love in your heart. One day, it’ll all be okay. There are so many people in our lives that care about you and Bones. Let them heal you please.

I love you and Bones, simple as that. Words can’t describe my love for you. Keep your head up high and make me proud, Captain Y/L/N.

Love and forever yours,

Jimmy Boy

Bam!

Startled, you let the letter flutter down, only to find Leonard roughly slamming his glass down on the table. You heard a whimper, and you honestly didn’t know if it was coming from you or him.

“One more?” You managed out, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand again.

The doctor filled both glasses again with bourbon, and smiled tearfully at you.

“To Jim.”

Leonard, Winona, and you were dressed in black as you held each other, watching as Jim’s casket was lowered into the ground on Earth. As a Captain, he was given full honors and rights and a minute of silence was held. You and Leonard wrote the eulogy together, and the senior crew took turns upon the podium to tell their tales of the wonderful Captain Kirk. When they were done, you sobbed into Leonard’s chest as one of the Admiral stood up and concluded the funeral.

You were made Captain of the Enterprise after a month into the three months shore leave. You were grateful for Starfleet giving you time to grieve for Jim’s loss. It was eventually going to be exciting, but without Jim by your side, you didn’t know if it was possible.

Laying on Jim’s childhood bed in Iowa, Leonard cuddled you. You let out a sigh, and looked out the window and at the stars above. It was new, not having the rambunctious captain to not be poking out from a corner, and teasing you. Gradually as time went on though, you expected less of his appearances.

“Could I get you two anything to drink?” Jim’s mom called from the door.

“We’re all good here, mom. Thanks,” You called out, glancing up at Leonard.

It only made sense to call Winona as mom since you were going to marry her son. She needed the warmth of a family, now that both of her husband and son were gone. You and Leonard were more than happy to step in. Jim would have wanted you to.

“Alright, yell if you want anything,” Winona left. You listened as her footsteps padded away from the door, and relaxed back into the embrace.

“Will we be okay?” You asked in the silence.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Leonard spoke quietly, but his voice was distant as though he had something else in mind.

He was a doctor. He was trained to look for patterns, and he excelled in that. Something else was gnawing at him, and it troubled him. He wanted to speak to you about it, but he knew that it wouldn’t dissuade you.

Christopher Pike, blonde hair, blue eyes, Admiral, dead.

George Kirk, blonde hair, blue eyes, First Officer, dead.

James Kirk, blonde hair, blue eyes, Captain, dead.

Y/N Y/L/N, blonde hair, blue eyes, Captain.

Star Trek Tags: @mournthewicked (Enjoy your day off!) Join the taglist!

Thanks for reading! If you want to read some fluffy fics to ease up from this sobfest, my masterlist is here. Or better yet, send in a request! (Always looking for ideas)

#ugh #cried while typing this #was almost too much #god damn mckirk and reader are going to have a beautiful piece #mckirk x reader #jim kirk x leonard mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #jim kirk x reader #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #leonard bones mccoy #star trek #star trek aos #deb writes #aimeesfirstwc

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keybladeciel · 4 years ago

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KHUX Week Day 6- Tragedy on the Fated Land

Synopsis: If only the Dandelions made it in time... (Set in a hypothetical scenario where both the Player and Strelitzia die) (From Ciel's first person view until the end. Then it shifts to Celeste's viewpoint.)

Themes: Keyblade War, Heartbreak, Sacrifice.

Warnings: Violence, Blood, Language, and Death.

Synopsis: If only the Dandelions made it in time.

(Ciel) I found myself looking at the scattered hearts flying up in the sky. This is what hell looks like and I never want to head back here after this war. I lasted against all the Foretellers and I was still standing. I was about to celebrate until I got impaled by a Keyblade. I quickly healed myself and whatever organs were damaged were easily healed... which have been none at all. "That ain't fair... CIEL!" I stood my ground against my opponent. It was kill or be killed and this was the bastard who killed Strelitzia. "No... YOU KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND!" I was about to kill the threat when Celeste showed up.

She tried to stop the rogue Keybearer from killing me, but was sent back after the rogue broke her ankle. "You ruthless... heartless... bastard! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR HURTING MY SISTER!" I'm pissed and I wanted to take revenge as soon as possible. But then I realized, what if revenge won't ease the pain of losing Strely? I accepted the truth and decided to disable my sister's attacker. But then he spoke. "You'll rue the day you messed with me, little girl. Nobody makes a mockery of a Knight of Bahamut." I instinctively threw myself into whatever Bahamut (what I'm calling him from now on) was about to throw at my sister... and then I heard a squelching sound. I looked down and found a Keyblade jammed into my chest. "Ciel!" Celeste screamed as I was recovering from the stab. I turned to Bahamut as he dove the Keyblade into my chest until my shirt was drenched in my blood. I didn't care. I slashed at Bahamut, pulled his Keyblade out of me and charged at him, slashing and stabbing wildly. I landed a fatal blow by impaling him with my own Keyblade.

Bahamut was dead as I saw his heart fly towards Kingdom Hearts. I won, but at what cost. I hobbled over to Celeste to tell her something. "I did it, Sis... I avenged... Strelitzia." I began to cough up blood. I tried to cast Curaga but to no avail. My magic was out. I then realized that I was dying. "You're dying, Ciel." "Cel, I never wanted a part in this Goddamn war to begin with. What's the damage?" "Hold on, Brother. I'll take you there." Ephemer and Skuld showed up and rushed me to the hospital.

"How bad is it?" "Very bad. He's got a punctured lung, a ruptured gallbladder, and his stomach has an ulcer. Miss Lumiere, I'm afraid Ciel might die." "No... I AM dying. I want to spend whatever time I have left with her." I made my point clear. I wanted to die with Cel in the room. "Celeste, tell Mom and Dad that I went down with a fight." I'm fighting my fatal injuries until I can fight no more. We took a walk to where Strelitzia buried her time capsule. Her will entrusted me to uncover it after the Keyblade War in the event she died. "Cel, this is the spot where... she buried her time capsule. Her will entrusted us to unearth it should she... die." My breathing was labored and I was getting colder. I can't do the deed myself. We headed back to the hospital where my friends where waiting. Everyone but Ètoile, Mog, and Lily were there. "What's wrong?" Soleil asked me. "I'm dying, Sol. I took a fatal blow for Cel during the war and-" Before I could finished I coughed up blood. I had to rest somewhere. Carina offered me her lap. "Ciel, she wants you." She might be Sol's girlfriend, but she still loved me as much as I loved her. "I love you." "I love you too... Carina." We shared our only kiss with each other and I rested my head on her lap. My temperature was at it's coldest and I saw Strelitzia extend her hand towards me. "It's time to come home, Ciel. Place your trust in Celeste to unearth our time capsule." I closed my eyes as my heart left my body.

(Celeste) "Time of Death: 7:30 PM" The doctor said as he witness Ciel close his eyes in happiness. He died on his own terms... but why? I pondered why my little brother would give his life for me without warning. He was covered everywhere in blood and he used the last inkling of strength he had to plan out his last requests. Ciel's final requests were to unearth a time capsule he and Strelitzia had buried, to take care of my family and friends, to watch over Ven, Lily, and Mog, and to let the world know he died a hero who believed in maintaining the balance of light and dark. We all cried as Ciel died before our eyes. I then realized that Ciel would be willing to die to protect the people he loves. Ciel loved me and he knew that I had to survive long enough to alert the Dandelions when I rushed in to save him. "Bury him with Strelitzia," I told my friends. "Ma'am, you're making a grave mistake." "Brain, let it go. Ciel was like a brother to me." "He's right. Celeste is making the right call. If she wants her brother to be with Strelitzia, then we'll bury him with her." When Daybreak Town finally fell and Scala ad Caelum was founded, I told my family the truth. "Ciel is dead. He fought until he bled out. He took a fatal blow for me when I rushed in to save him. When we returned, he showed me his last requests." I remember what Ciel told me. "Unearth the time capsule. Then bury me with Strely one last time." "Strely" being the nickname we used for Strelitzia. "Lastly, take care of my party, Cel. You are now a Dandelion Leader." With those two dead, the remaining Dandelions elected Alouette and I to take those positions. "Ciel died in what he believed in, Mom," Ètoile said tearfully. She then broke down. "He sure did," Mom replied. We all mourned as we had a wake and grand funeral for him and Strelitzia. Ciel had his normally messy hair combed until the wake was over. The coroner then restored his hair to it's curly state. We chose white for the my brother and his beloved, symbolizing their place in the light.

"Ciel was a heroic young man who found a heroic young woman in Strelitzia..." We all gave our speeches at the funeral until it was my turn. I was wearing a black dress that was appropriate for the setting. The weather was sunny, yet cold and wintery. "Ciel was the best brother I could have. He fought for what he believed in and did so with his dying breath. I was there when he took a fatal blow. While my knee has recovered since the War, the wound of losing my brother didn't. He dated a real cute girl too. Strelitzia, who had her shy demeanor replaced by a more social one when she dated my brother. I considered her a sister just as much as she considered me one. We acted and fought like sisters and we loved each other." I began to cry. "And I know that when she died, Ciel was angry. He wanted justice... and in that hellish war he did. He saw a threat to the Dandelions when the Unions were falling and he took out that threat with thr fury of a brother willing to protect his big sister. Even to this day, I remember his smile whenever Mom sent us her dipped madeleines or whenever we bought sea-salt ice cream. I remember Strelitzia's giggle whenever Ciel tickled her or when something funny happened. And I want to see and hear those two things again. Ciel and Strelitzia didn't die in vain, they died as heroes and as boyfriend and girlfriend. Death did them apart until Ciel sacrificed himself for me. And I'd do the same if he was about to die while unable to fight due to a bad knee." I stopped as I was about to be a blubbering mess when Mom hugged me. Then Lauriam hugged me, seeing me as a sister to him. Then his mom and dad hugged me before Dad hugged me. "I miss them, Mom." Somehow, I could sense Ciel and Strelitzia's soul. "Thank you, Sis. Mom, I love you... and I'm sure as hell gonna miss you while I'm gone," Ciel said. "Son, you saved all of us. You made me proud," Mom replied. She knew that it was his heart speaking. "Ciel, come on! We got a dance to tend to!" Strelitzia called out. The two are together in death... Ciel's afterlife could never be happier. I love you brother... and I know we'll be there soon. I placed a marker where Ciel was buried. "Here lies Ciel A. Lumiere. Beloved son, brother, and boyfriend. Renowned hero of the Dandelions" I then updated Strelitzia's grave "Here lies Strelitzia R. Evergreen. Cherished daughter, sister, and girlfriend. Heroine of Fairy Tales." Rest in peace you two.

(This is one of my saddest entries to date. Ciel and Strelitzia die and the story ends with the couple's funeral. The ending is bittersweet compared to the other enteries' endings being happy or light hearted. Sure, Ciel and Strelitzia die, but they are reunited in the Final World until the Replica Program occurs or their Heartless and Nobody die. This was the hardest story to write for this week, as it deals with the aftermath of the Keyblade War. Ciel sacrificing himself to save his sister and living long enough to detail his last request is a fitting end for a hero like him. Luckily, this is an alternate universe where neither he nor Strelitzia survive. So Ciel will be back for day 7.)

#khux #khux week #bittersweet #i fucking cried while writing this

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revengeisalwaysanoption · 4 years ago

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FICS: PROPOSTE INDECENTI + AMO GIA’ IL FINALE

I posted these on AO3 back in January. And I really wanted to have something brand new for today, but I am trying as hard as I can to have the fairy tale AU finished by tomorrow, so... Hope you’ll like them! They are BOTH IN ENGLISH ;) !!

PROPOSTE INDECENTI Seconds

10 - 9

The longest ten seconds of his whole fucking life. Maybe Niccolò really is considering turning it down, given the time and setting.

3 a.m. McDonald's. Sitting on plastic chairs. Lazily eating cold fries and a hamburger that tastes like cardboard with one hand, stroking each other's thumbs with the other. Feeling like the last men on Earth, in a deserted place that would normally be buzzing with life in the daytime.

He should have sticked to his plan, given him his scripted speech this Sunday at the Bioparco. But he didn't, and now...

8-7

… now he's screwed, isn't he? He fucked it up, and Niccolò is going to carry on and pretend this has been nothing but a bad dream.

He couldn't help it, though. Not when Niccolò was glowing with pride and elation as he showed Martino his first - published, finally!! - illustrated book.

The one Nico had lovingly renamed 'our baby' - and damn if Marti's heart didn't skip a beat at that - even though all he didn't do much but offer his moral support.

How was he supposed to resist?

6-5

He looked more beautiful than ever, in an old tracksuit and with a ridiculous headband holding his wild curls at bay. Buzzing with enthusiasm, while he told Marti about how Naima the giraffe who had her head too high in the clouds learnt from Mabel the red panda that she shouldn't fear what's in her heart. That her feelings are never too much, like so many others have been telling her.

Niccolò had always been very secretive about the plot, saying 'It's a surprise' with a mischievous glint in his eyes whenever Martino asked for more details… and right in that very moment he could see why.

"Children emotions tends to be heightened, and therefore often dismissed. I hope this can tell them that they matter, you know? That they're gonna find someone willing to listen, someday. Just like I found you."

It was their story. Edited, tweaked but still the same at its core. Shared to offer some hope to whoever might need it.

How could he not stop Niccolò right there and fumble for the box in his bag?

4-3

Flinging it into his hands and dropping on one knee felt too predictable and cheap, however.

"I… I think I'm gonna get a milkshake. Would you like me to get you anything? An ice-cream cone? A Flurry?" Then, raising a voice a couple of octaves to make it sound childlike he adds "A Happy Meal?"

"Ahah. You're so funny, have you ever considered a career as a stand-up comedian? Get me a Happy Meal, you ass." And he would have sucked on that raised middle finger, without any shame, had it been a night like any other.

But it wasn't.

Niccolò kept on gloating, until he opened the Happy Meal. His face fell, indeed, when he found the giraffe and red panda wooden figurines connected through a red silk thread and carrying a ring.

Ebony black, like his hair. Adorned with amber and aventurine, which both reminded Martino of his eyes.

Eyes which were now boring into him with a mixture of confusion and… disappointment?

Not exactly the reaction he had been wishing for. The silence between them felt a bit uncomfortable, for the first time in maybe ever, but Martino forced himself to speak.

"I know that I told you, so many times and in so many ways, that nobody knows a fucking thing about what's gonna happen tomorrow but... I am certain about ONE thing and ONE thing only: that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, as your HUSBAND. Don't you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"

"That's two things, Marti. Maybe even three. I believe so… but let me just have ten seconds to think it through, okay?"

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. " He finally says. Each yes said before a kiss, his smile getting brighter and brighter as they both start crying. Tears they brush away with gentle fingertips, with soft lips.

"A thousand times yes, Marti." Niccolò reiterates, resting his forehead against his fiancé's. Not an old fashioned to say 'boyfriend' when you significant one is not exactly a boy anymore, but the real deal now.

Fiancé. Betrothed. Soon to be husband. He can't wait to refer to Martino using those term with friends, colleagues, guests, relatives. With all those random people he ends up talking to while queuing up at the post office - on the bus, on the train, on the subway. The whole world needs to know, and he is certain that Marti feels like the same.

"Once is more than enough."

-----------

Minutes

It still doesn’t feel real, even though he has had some minutes to let it sink in. Despite the weight of the ring dangling from his necklace - "how very Frodo of you…" "Are you calling your future husband a fucking hobbit, Mr Rametta?" - and his proposal still echoing in his ears, he fears he might wake up any minute now. Alone.

He has to take refuge in Marti’s arms, grounding himself in his warm and tight embrace. Nothing can touch him, when he’s there. Nothing can reach him, apart from Martino’s smell and the palpable solidity of his body.

"I can take it back, if you’d like." Marti mumbles, against his helix piercing.

"Don’t you dare!" Niccolò protests, first jabbing his ribs with his forefinger and then flicking his nose.

"I mean… you don't sound positively thrilled about it…" He points out, puzzled to hear Niccolò chuckle.

"Well, we're talking about spending the rest of my life with the most boring gay I've ever met…" Nico sighs dramatically, but then he gets dreadfully serious. He is so overjoyed, so full of love he could burst, and Martino better not end up thinking otherwise. "I couldn't be happier… You know that, right? I simply wanted to be the one to propose."

"Well, maybe you still can. Fifteen or twenty years from now, when we'll feel like renewing our vows or some shit…" Martino suggests, standing up and cleaning their table. They must go now, if they want to have some time left to spare to celebrate home before heading out again to work.

"Sounds lovely. You have such a way with words, Marti." Niccolò shoves him playfully, but files that piece of information into a secured corner of his brain. Might come in handy, in the future. "And how do you know about renewals, anyway? Don't tell me you've been bingewatching 'Say Yes To The Dress' on RealTime!"

"Whaaat? Me? Nope. Never. Must have heard something from Filo. Or was it Edo?"

*************

AMO GIA’ IL FINALE

Hours

Hours have gone by. It took them twice longer than usual to reach their flat, unable to walk more than a few steps without stopping for a quick peck. Or a full on make out session against a couple of closed, sturdy, doors.

Clothes were discarded on the floor as soon as they stepped inside, and they had made love until dawn. Exhausted, by then, they had fallen asleep.

Fear has had time to come knocking, and with it the painful reminder that people always leave. Or get sick of each other, and stay together only to keep up appearances.

No. That's not gonna happen. Not to them. Not when they are perfectly aware that gonna have to make a promise to each other not only on that day… but every second, every minute, every hour they spend together. Or apart.

Not necessarily with words. Which little gestures, too. Cherish their love. Never take it for granted.

"I promise you that we can make it. From now, to infinity." Martino says, softly, as he lays a kiss on Niccolò chest. Right where his heart is, just like Nico did so many years before under those red lights.

"To infinity and beyond."

"Don't start quoting Toy Story when I'm trying to be deep, Ni."

"It doesn't suit you. Now, up up up. Put something on and come with me... I don't want to miss watching the sunrise and cuddling with my betrothed on my cozy balcony."

"You are unbelievable."

"And you love that."

"I sure do, don't I?"

Imagination

This is absolutely not what Niccolò or Martino had in mind.

The unnecessary opulence, the stifling atmosphere in spite of the marvelous outdoor venue.

"It's not like you had a clear picture of what you wanted, anyway." Anyone would argue, and they would be right.

It had been easy enough to picture it back in Milan, where having a wedding in their birthday suits had sounded like the coolest idea he had ever had… But now Nico can't really see how that would go down, can't imagine it wouldn't be a complete catastrophe.

Like any other scenario they came up with. Some are too over the top, and would make Martino feel uncomfortable. Some are too dull, and would be an ill match to Niccolò's eccentricity.

Someone had to take the matter into their hands, and it wasn't like Silvia had done a bad job with the very little input she had from the grooms.

Maybe they could settle for this?

***************

Instinct

Or maybe not.

Martino refused to make this day, their day, about anyone else but themselves.

His in-laws were probably going to hate him for this, as firm believers of a time and a place for spontaneity, and their own friends were surely going to hold it against them for the next fifty years or so… but who cared?

Not him. Not when he was witnessing the first real smile of the week from Niccolò, merely by showing up on his old bike.

"Get on." It took him some fumbling, since a tight fitting tuxedo wasn't really the best attire for riding a bike, but eventually he managed to sit comfortably behind Martino.

"Where are we going?" He asked, presuming to be filled in about Marti's plan for the next few hours.

"Wherever the fuck we want." Martino said, instead, refusing to tell Niccolò anything concerning their destination. Or what they would do, once they reached it.

It didn't take too long to get to a church that Niccolò knew all too well. He had often joked about getting married in its crypt, surrounded by skulls and chandeliers made of human bones. Too bad it was hardly ever opened to the public, and totally unavailable for any kind of celebration.

"And how exactly are you planning to get in?" He inquired, walking over to the locked door.

"I might have asked Filippo to make me a copy of the key, when he got one for his photography project. Off the record." Because he knew Niccolò would love to stroll through the building undisturbed. Taking in its macabre allure, appreciating the fleeting nature of his own existence.

"Uh… Martino Rametta breaking the law by owning something he's not supposed to? A man after my own heart, I must say."

"I thought I already had it. Your heart, I mean." He commented, offhandedly, as he cursed and kicked against the rusty old door. "Oh, come on! Jesus! You were working just fine last time!"

"And this wonderful hint of blasphemy, right in front of a church. Wow." Niccolò reached out for him, then, pinning his open palm onto his own chest. "You're not mistaken, by the way. This has been yours for years."

"Same here." Marti turned to take his hand, and l let him feel how fast his heart was beating.

And then, as Marti was leaning in for a kiss, Nico moved back and brazenly snatched the keys.

"You know I've got the magic touch. Don't know whether it's in the fingers on in the wrists…"

"You better leave those innuendo at the door, Ni."

"Or what? You'll punish me, Father? You'll drag me into one of the confessionals and…"

… and he might had been tempted to do that, to drop on his knees and worship this man… Before he was basically challenged to reign in his wildest fantasies. Oh, he knew Niccolò wouldn't even try to play fair but still… He was so going to win this.

******

Memory

"... and then?" The kids asked, trying to get Mr. David's attention.

"Mh?" He had been distracted by an old lady coming to congratulate him on finally tying the knot a couple of weeks before. Shoelaces were a challenge for anyone, indeed, so it made sense he got praised for achieving that goal… Even though it took him so many years.

And that hadn't been the only interruption. For same weird reason their parents kept butting in to tell them shouldn't bother Mr. Fares. Or his 'partner'. They don't say 'husband', for some reason. Despite it being the word David uses for Michelangelo.

Grown up are so, so dumb.

"You ran away from your own wedding, got to a spooky church… and then? What happened?"

"Did you find a body and have to solve a murder?"

"I'm afraid not. We walked inside, and I read him my vows. He gave me his. I can show them to you, if you'd like? I always carry them in my pocket." Most didn't quite understand what was so great about two stick figures on a badly drawn giraffe, but the words written on the side sounded nice. Especially the closing line.

Per quanta strada abbiam fatto, e per quanta ancora ce n'è da fare… Amo già il finale.

"Booooring! I bet you went back to the ranch for the actual ceremony, after that?"

"Wrong. Remember that I started telling you all about this day because Meni asked what was the biggest prank I've ever pulled on my friends and family… That's it: making them all believe they would see US getting married and then have two other people saying 'I do' that afternoon. And this day I'm still quite proud I could pull that off. And so is my husband. I mean, our old folks were THIS close to believe we had been kidnapped."

Impressive. Kind of. Perhaps grown up can be cool, once in a blue moon?

"Ni? Nico? Earth to Niccolò Fares?" Not fair! He was a grown up! Why was he getting sweets before dinner?

"Yeah yeah, I can hear you loud and clear Marti." He gulped down his candies in a heartbeat. And then gave him a quick kiss, saying "Thanks, love."

Huh? Nico? Marti? Then why their moms - and a couple of their dads - referred to him as Michelangelo's David?

Grown ups are so, so weird.

#skam italia #final countdown weeks #week 2 #day four: share the love

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