#''you know what? they're right to be frustrated!''

[ariichive]

MALFUNCTIONᯓ ⋆°•

moving in with caleb was bound to have its ups and downs... but did he have to modify everything in his home to keep track of you? cw: fem. reader, caleb being overprotective and borderline insane, lowkey stalking, cameras, established relationship, reader can be mc or not, #ilovecaleb, mullet caleb yummy, wrote this listening to my 2020 playlist...

everything in caleb's space was so very... you. the foods in the fridge, the furniture, the tidiness of it all. there was so much of you, and it was quickly becoming a safe haven.

it seemed everything caleb owned was carefully picked out with your interests and not his.

you remember asking him about it, if he was truly okay with you taking over his space like this; especially since you never spent a dime while with him.

his answer still fresh in your mind.

"trust me honey, this is all i've ever wanted." he said with a sincere smile and a pat to your head, "besides, there's still a lot of me around, you just gotta find it."

back then, you weren't sure what he meant exactly and seen it as a way of him comforting you.

now, however, as the microwave locked your frozen dinner in there you realized what he meant.

caleb always cooked for you, he knew your desired calorie intake, allergies, and all the foods you didn't like.

you never had to lift a finger in the kitchen when he was around, because he had already taken care of everything before you even had the chance to think about it.

but now, standing in the quiet hum of the microwave, the absence of his presence was deafening. he was on a rather long mission with the fleet. he did prepackage all your meals, labeled and all, but admittedly... being bored with nothing to do except eat made the meals go quicker than expected. surprisingly, there was a frozen pasta dinner shoved in the back of the freezer. it wasn't the most ideal, but it was the best you could do without your personal chef and boyfriend.

it was a little embarrassing how dependent you became on him. you knew if he were here, he'd kiss your head and tell you he'll make those nasty thoughts go away.

there were still traces of him all around you, in the way the spice rack was arranged just so, the way the couch cushions bore the slightest indent from where he always sat, and even the basket of apples on the counter.

you sighed, leaning against the counter as the microwave beeped, signaling your sad little dinner was ready.

there was a small problem though.

the microwave wasn't opening.

no matter how much strength you used, the door just wasn't opening. you felt your eyebrow twitch; did you somehow manage to break his microwave? there was no way; sure, you relied on him a bit, but you definitely remembered the basics in the kitchen.

before you could get more frustrated, your phone dinged.

caleb <3: where did u even find that lol? thought i threw those all out :,)

you stared at your phone in deadpan before glancing back at the microwave, quickly texting back.

[name]: how did you even...?

caleb <3: baby, i got eyes everywhere

you huffed, shaking your head. of course he somehow knew you were about to eat the one frozen dinner he swore he got rid of.

[name]: okay, stalker. but actually, i think ur microwave is broken??? it won’t open.

the typing bubble appeared instantly.

caleb <3: yeah, ik... had some free time, messed around with a few things :p

another message came through right after.

caleb <3: say, what happened to the meals i prepared for you?

then another...

caleb <3: did you not like them? let me know so i know for the future if your tastes changed, sorry pretty girl

you were quick to type out a response, seeing as his typing bubble didn't disappear.

[name]: no!! i loved them all, just... they're gone :(

the message was marked as read immediately as he your phone began to ring.

you sighed, but your lips curled into a small smile as you answered.

“hi, caleb.”

“hi,” he echoed, his voice warm despite the slight scolding tone. “now, tell me, honey—how are they already gone? i made sure they’d last until i got back.”

you pouted, sinking further into the couch. “i got bored… and they were really good.”

caleb chuckled, and you could just picture the way he’d be shaking his head if he were here. “i swear, you’re gonna make me start rationing your meals.”

“you wouldn’t.”

“would i?”

you frowned. “…would you?”

his laugh came through the speaker, low and sweet. “nah, i could never say no to you. but seriously, baby, if you need more food, i'll order something. don’t go eating those frozen meals, they’re so bad for you.”

“it’s just one,” you mumbled.

“still. i don’t like the thought of you eating that while i’m gone.”

you sighed, tugging at the microwave one more time. “well, maybe if you weren’t so far away…”

“aw, do you miss me, pretty girl?”

you refused to answer that; he already knew the answer.

caleb hummed. “yeah… i miss you too.”

his voice was softer now, and your chest ached at how much you just wanted him here.

“i’ll be back soon,” he promised. “then i’ll make you something actually edible, alright?”

you smiled. “alright.”

“good girl.”

you felt your cheeks heat up, and caleb laughed again, as if he knew. (which he did).

“love you, honey.”

“love you too,” you murmured, holding the phone a little tighter. "why exactly is the microwave locked?" you decided to question one more time.

caleb chuckled, "i know you, [name]. even if i wasn't watching you, you'd open it and still eat the pasta. better to take... precautionary measures for my pipsqueak. did you even check the expiration date?"

ignoring his question, you did a quick lookover of the room, looking for the camera he had somewhere as he only laughed. "maybe instead of looking for the cameras, find what else i modified in the house, it'll keep you occupied. i'll order you food in the meantime."

you groaned, flopping back against the couch. “caleb, i swear, if you messed with anything else—”

“if? honey, i definitely did.”

your eyes narrowed. “like what?”

“mmm, can’t say. that’d ruin the fun, wouldn’t it?”

you let out a dramatic sigh. “you are a menace.”

“and you love me for it.”

unfortunately, he wasn’t wrong.

you stood up, glancing around the apartment, suddenly suspicious of everything. you had no idea when he found the time to do all this, but knowing caleb, he planned ahead weeks in advance, just for moments like these.

the phone call was cut short as commotion started on his mission, leading you to sadly have to hang up.

you sighed, setting your phone down and eyeing the apartment with renewed suspicion.

as if on cue, you heard a soft click.

you turned your head slowly.

the front door.

more specifically, the new deadbolt that you definitely hadn’t installed.

your stomach dropped. oh, no.

another quick text from caleb.

caleb <3: your food is outside, i unlocked the door for you to grab it <3 be quick.

you did as he said, quickly grabbing the food delivery from outside, the door locking as soon as you got back in.

[name]: caleb. why is the door locked from the outside?

it took him a moment to reply, likely caught up with work, but when his name finally popped up on your screen, you already knew you wouldn’t like his answer.

caleb <3: oh, that? safety measures, honey. u can unlock it, but only through the app i installed on ur phone :)

you blinked. what app?

as soon as you asked, a new icon appeared on your screen—a sleek little security app with a familiar-looking otto icon.

caleb <3: just in case u ever get any funny ideas about leaving late at night alone.

your jaw dropped.

[name]: caleb. you remote locked me inside our home.

caleb <3: our very safe home! where nothing bad can happen to u!! :D i'll text u when i get to safety, enjoy ur food pipsqueak!

i love caleb btw

[madanimalscientist]

I did something similar re a shitty youth pastor, though I didn't wind up causing any sort of labour strike. But I did use a similar tactic - instead of being stuck in a room with the new youth pastor and her homophobia and passive aggressive hatred of anything that didn't fit into her tidy little Perfect White Midwestern Small Town Church Lady (tm) view of the world (this was the Lutheran church, and one of the incidents that led to me later running screaming from Protestantism and converting to Catholicism, who in that part of the Midwest, were the lefty Christians in town and pretty cool with queers (God bless you, Sister Lorraine)). And also some of the other kids in youth group were the same kids who bullied me at school so it was like some sort of mandatory punishment hour in terms of how little I enjoyed it.

So instead I started volunteering in the nursery during Sunday School instead, and then the 1st/2nd grade Sunday School teacher asked to borrow me to help ride herd because it was a very big class of kids that year and I did so well at that, it became a regular gig. It helped that some of the kids were kids I babysat anyways, so they knew me. And for some of the rowdier kids, we made a deal: sit as still as you reasonably can and keep disruptions to a minimum, and after Sunday School I will pick you up and spin you around til you get dizzy (the way some kids love to be picked up and spun). Some Sundays I had a line of 5 or 6 kids waiting for their turn XD

It was a win-win situation for me and my parents too, especially since my mum was very concerned with being respectable. But she knew that I hated putting up with the youth pastor's comments (she didn't like the fact that I was queer either, but she also thought the youth pastor was kind of an asshole in general, a view I wholeheartedly agreed with) and she knew that forcing me to spend an extra hour a week with kids that bullied me was a shitty thing to do (she definitely did not like those kids). So instead she got to brag "well you know how my eldest is just SO GOOD with the little kids, they babysit some of them too, and Mrs P needed a teacher's helper, so they volunteered to step up and help out, and Mrs P said that [redacted]'s help has made things go so much smoother, I'm so proud of them for being so selfless and giving up their own time in youth group to help out the younger students, what a good example they're setting!"

So I got to be removed from a situation I hated, mum got bragging rights, and I got a few extra babysitting clients out of it. Plus kids that young are pretty fun. Not as epic as OP's experiences but still a way of turning a source of frustration and pain into increasing the kindness in the world. And later on I would realise that the reason I was so good at babysitting neurodivergent kids was because I myself was XD But at the time I was known as 'the teenager who is good with rowdy/neurodivergent kids' and that was a pretty fun role to have!

Before I knew I was bisexual I was just insanely dramatic and weird around guys I liked. I had a crush on this guy in my ward - he was older than me, he played bagpipes and had a cheerful dog and an old Volkswagen bus that he worked on all the time. He also had nice scruff and unnaturally attractive hands and a good sense of humor, so I was like FULLY smitten.

I talked about him a lot and about how he was just so dang COOL, dang it, because he was so frickin’ cool. And I really liked him. I thought he was funny and smart and interesting and cool and fascinating and a bunch of other weird feelings I barely had the attention span to think about (I think my ADHD may have prevented me from coming out for a while tbh).

One day, I’m like 14-15, his dad is called to be my Sunday School teacher. His dad is this ex-military hardass with a chip on his shoulder for absolutely no reason and unattainable standards for his children. He spent most of Sunday School talking shit about his eldest boy and how he was rebellious and didn’t listen to him and how that was going to make him a bad adult and a bad son forever. How his son was too lazy and unmotivated to be successful because he didn’t listen to his advice on how to read the scriptures. He complained about how our generation was too weak to do things right and that our generation would surely be the one that brought the world’s downfall because of our laziness and sin.

And like, first of all, that guy can already go fuck himself for that. To clarify, that’s already stupid. BUT. He was talking about the man I had uncomfortable dreams about at least once a month. I couldn’t stand it. I’d get so mad I’d go home shaking sometimes because how fucking DARE he insult his hardworking stunning son by calling him lazy? For not reading the Bible the way his dad wants? When he’s already spending his time learning bagpipes? And fixing cars? And being cool? And cute? Who the fuck even cares if he uses the footnotes in the Book of Mormon? Who gives a rotten rat’s ass if he doesn’t use the scripture study manual his dad uses? He’s so cool he doesn’t even need it? So fuck off?

And eventually I got fucking Sick Of It and decided to mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean skip class. I’d just not go. And after a bit, adults started noticing and bugging me about it. At first, this was put off by small talk and excuses, but as my absence from Sunday School became more well-known, my excuses began to be rejected.

“Oh, Lizard, why aren’t you in class?” Uhm idk because my Sunday School teacher is mean to his kid and that makes me so mad wtf do you want from me? 🫠🤔

“Where’s your class, I’ll go with you!” Oh no ty I’d rather peel my own eyes than have my taste in men critiqued tyty 🩷

“Lizard, you should go to class, I’m sure they miss you!” And I miss the innocent days where my stomach didn’t hurt when a cool boy I knew was being belittled but unfortunately for us both those days are LONG gone and all that’s left is a budding psychosexual clusterfuck that will render me almost fully incapable of functioning for the better part of a decade so Bye Bye, sister Smith 🙂‍↕️

It had gotten to the point that ward leadership was involved. I was being approached by members of the Young Men’s presidency and the Bishopric to try and make me to back to class. They were telling me God had told them to find me and instruct me on my rebelliousness. This is where I implemented my secret weapon - women. Mormons are weird as hell about a lot of things, but especially about women. And I was GREAT with women. So to combat the leadership’s attention, I started helping women.

Our ward had a lot of new moms with babies who were, as babies tend to be, fussy. But for Mormon women the church is often their only social outlet, so they try to power through as long as they can even if it means enduring the exhausting ordeal of taking care of a fussy baby at church.

For what it’s worth, I have a lot of sway with babies. I got baby street cred. Me and babies have a rapport. I have always known this. I have always loved this. And in this crucial gay time in my faggot life my baby mind powers came in clutch - Every time I saw a member of the bishopric getting close, or a young men’s leader giving me side-eye, I’d start walking slowly towards class, passing by relief society. I’d wait until a mom’s baby had gotten too fussy and needed to leave the room, and I’d swoop in like a knight. “Oh, don’t you worry sister, I’ll bounce him a bit. You go back and hang out with your friends in class. You deserve a break.”

If it was a diaper change or something they’d tell me no. But if it was just some good old-fashioned baby fusses, I mean, they’d be moved almost to tears. They just got their social time back AND a free babysitter who is renowned as the Baby Whisperer. And because I was holding a baby as a favor for someone else, I of course could not reasonably be bothered to return to class.

So just like that, I was out of everyone’s sights. This went on for about a month before the straw that broke the camel’s back, which was that without my class participation the classes were quiet and awkward. I’d often take the brunt of Sunday school lectures by answering questions impulsively and over explaining myself enough that the clock could run out without anyone needing to do or say much. My absence meant everyone else was getting hit with the full unpleasantness of this guy’s bullshit. And so slowly, one-by-one, I had a group of about 8 kids on baby-holding duty. These new moms were so overjoyed, they and their husbands were both so actively in our corner that now chastising us was untenable. Now we had bargaining power. So the Bishopric approached us, confused beyond confused and uncomfortable beyond uncomfortable, and said,

“What’s it gonna take to get you back to class?”

The POWER I possessed in that moment was addictive. By being kind to the women of the ward and ignoring the Mormon de facto Rule of Law of following rules en-masse so the rule breakers feel left out, there were now so many people breaking ranks that we had effectively enacted a church boy labor strike. And they crumbled so fast it was almost like we had swayed God himself to our cause.

“I want brother assholedad gone. He sucks at teaching.”

I didn’t even have to say it. One of my rebels said it for me. I just nodded sagely and said “Yes, his class is not edifying. It’s better to not go and hold babies.”

And just like that, with a snap of my limp-wristed, Christ-wounding, bottom-brained fingers my faggot will was enacted. God’s revelation that brother shitdad was his chosen Sunday school teacher flipped on a dime. Suddenly brother shitdad was asked to be an usher and the fun dad of another one of my crushes was called in to teach us. I still stayed to hold babies a lot, but the rest of the class returned and all was well again.

Although I didn’t recognize it then, I think that was a formative moment for me in a lot of ways. I learned that being really persistently annoying will get me what I want from authority eventually. I learned that God’s will can be swayed by going in strike. I learned that ignoring men’s made up authority forces them to level with you as a person. I learned that caring for women, especially vulnerable women, can make a whole world happier. I learned that letting women rest can help them feel more love for the things that matter in their life. I learned that social bonds make everyone stronger and happier. And I learned that loving others in a gay way can change the world.

Be gayer. Read Terry Pratchett. I love y’all 💕

[pisceanfilm]

⋆ ｡  𐀔  ° ‧     what does this person want you to know?

KEYWORDS: romance, relationships, (past) situationships, seperation, energy check between you and your person of romantic interest.

ꕤ * ． pile one. → ꕤ * ． pile two. → ꕤ * ． pile three.

relax your body, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. ask yourself: "which pile has a message for me today?" when you open your eyes, what image did your eyes fall on? what image do you feel most drawn to energetically? that's your pile!

this reading is timeless! it will cross your path whenever it's meant to find you 🍀 while my main intention was to channel someone you're already involved with, you can also use this for your sp, a future partner, a soulmate, or whoever you're thinking about!!

PILE # 01

your person is a true yearner, i'll tell you this much. their heart is very fragile, they want you to know they're scared of getting hurt, of being betrayed. this is a person who didn't have many healthy relationships in the past. they're confused, unsure what to do, and just wishes to avoid it all right now.

they're very much fantasising about a future with you, though... they want it all with you, they loooove your laugh. (i'm seeing that maybe they want to travel with you? explore the world together is what i heard.) with you on their side, they feel invincible. they really want you on their team. when this person has been processing their emotions healthily, i see that they're very attentive, unafraid of showing a passionate desire towards you, and generally very caring and loving. they appreciate you so much, you're the brightest star in their existence.

however, if this person isn't standing strong in their emotions, i see them being very hot and cold. when you're together, everything feels right. you feel secure, you feel like there's something there. but when you're apart i see that you're very confused by the energy of your relationship. your mind appears to be your biggest enemy: do they like me? am i good enough for them? is this something that could work out? (i see that this is you picking up on the energy of your person... their confusion and doubts are making you doubtful as well.)

what i'm hearing is that you need to focus on your own healing and stability, so you can help this person heal energetically as well. this is a connection that's mostly guided by the divine. (currently there's a lot happening behind the scenes that you aren't even aware of.) you're meant to heal and complete certain cycles with this person for sure, this is not the end of the connection. so have faith, and trust that everything will align!!

a letter from your person: do you think about me too? i can't get you out of my head, no matter how much i try. you're always there. it frustrates me, how easy it would be for you to secure a spot inside of my heart. how well we could work together if i let my guard down. i'm scared, though. scared of hurting you, scared of hurting myself, scared of failing. what if i have something so beautiful with you and then ruin it by my fears and self sabotaging tendencies? i don't know why you still stick around, but i'm trying to be a better person. please call me out on my bullshit, i need you to be firm and stand your ground. don't take shit from me, i know i need to step up. i care for you, i'm trying to put my ego aside.

PILE # 02

god help my soul, i'm sensing a very intense and determined energy coming from your person 😭 this is definitely giving me the energy of an ex, or a situationship that was meant to take off but somehow didn't (i see this being your person's fault, for sure). this person absolutely regrets losing you. they're the reason things aren't moving forward. they blame themselves, they're angry and devastated. they wish they could've done things differently.

in the most favourable outcome, i see this person working on healing themselves. they're going through an ego death/dark night of the soul and are questioning everything and everyone around them. in this reflection i see them wanting to become a better person (for you), if you're willing to give them a chance. they want to love you right, they want to show you how much you mean to them... i see them wanting to swoop in and steal you away so you can ride into the sunset together!!

if this person refuses to face their demons, however, i see that spirit is going to give them a very difficult time unfortunately</3 they will hit them with the same harsh lessons over and over again until they finally see the light. in this case i see spirit keeping this connection in a separation (or limbo) in order to protect you. you can't heal this person right now... if they open their eyes, if they're able to see... they would understand what you truly mean to them. what a treasure they had in front of them. they will get there, though. it might take some time, i'm hearing.

depending on your situation with this person, only take them back if you can see that they've changed!! you know this is the case when they come back and show humble energy, that they're able to admit that they were wrong. i see, for some of you, they truly fucked up. so please use your discernment! losing you has been their biggest regret, though, and they will be carrying this guilt for a very long time...

a letter from your person: i'm going to win you back. i'll return to you and prove that i can be the person you need me to be. i'm sorry for hurting you in the past, i'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't good enough. apologies won't cut it, i know things need to change. i'm working on facing my demons. you were right, you made me realise i need to heal. i hope you still will be there when i come back... do you have someone new? are you willing to forgive me? i messed up, and losing you will be the biggest regret of my life.

PILE # 03

this is such a sweet and gentle energy, i just want to squish their cheeks<33 i see many different scenarios for you two. you could be dating, this could be a secret admirer, this could be your friend... this person feels very hesitant to me. i feel like they often have a poker face or wear a mask. i sense that you might pick up that they're hiding something from you/aren't being 100% authentic. don't be afraid, they aren't hiding anything malicious! if anything, i see they're hiding the depth of their emotions for you. they fear coming off too strong, they fear scaring you away. if you're in a relationship together, i see them wanting to take the next step... (making things official, living together, an engagement maybe? 🤭) they want to move things forward in a fruitful way, they want to give you all the love in the world. they're sooooo gentle with you, this makes my heart want to burst with love. they have such good intentions with you and they want to make you happy for as long as you'll have them<3

i don't feel any negative energies for this pile</3 literally, the worst case scenario here is that your person is a bit hesitant and reluctant to show the depths of their true feelings for you. they fear rejection, they fear being judged by you. (i see this person really cares and values your opinion of them, so your rejection would hurt tbh.) they're mostly testing the waters right now, trying to figure out what you want and what you're ready for. this is a very considerate person! but again, their insecurities might stop them from taking any action right now.

you have such a special place in their heart, it's no joke. you must have such a beautiful and powerful energy because this person literally loves every. single. thing. about. you. they see you as their sun, their moon, their stars, their whole universe... you mean a lot to them. i think the depth of their emotions scares them as well, to be honest. but i see them being brave and facing this head on. they want you, they know they want you, so i see them making a very significant move in the very near future.

please, my pile 3, be gentle with their heart<3 their energy is so pure and wholesome, they could be such a bright light in your darkness! i'm hearing that, if you aren't sure of this person's intentions, know that it's safe to trust them. you'll be very pleasantly surprised with what's waiting for you if you open your heart!

a letter from your person: do you like me? you shine so bright, sometimes it's blinding me. you radiate so much warmth, you make me so happy. when i'm with you there's no other place i'd rather be. did you know this? i'm placing my heart in your hands, i surrender myself to you...

(i'm not getting much more from them because this person is a bit shy... but when i'm in their energy... their heart just glows thinking about you. i see shy smiles, unable to keep eye contact without blushing, i feel like sometimes they need to take breaks from you because you're so overwhelming. love love love this energy 🩷)

[ace-inthehole]

Hybrid 141 where they're an elite taskforce comprised of only the best hybrids, but you, a mere human was skilled enough to be placed admit their ranks.

None of them have anything against you being human, you have proved time and time again that you're equally capable on the field as they are, even though you lacked the extra strengths and skillsets unique to hybrids.

That is until they begin courting you. You don't give any second thoughts to the shinies Price and Gaz bring you, don't bat an eye when Soap tries making you a nest (one blanket and two stolen pillows, he didn't have much to work with), don't notice a single thing off when ghost is lingering around you like a second shadow. It's endlessly frustrating but they can't hold any of it against you because you're human, what would you know about hybrid courtship rituals? And in your defense, Ghost was once human too. Wraiths don't have a typical courtship ritual since they are made and not born, so he was just shooting blind praying something hit. So far, nothing has.

Price and Soap even keep making comments about you being apart of their hoard and pack respectively, but of course you don't notice the romantic implications behind those words and just assume it's because you're a close team. Surely if Gaz starts bringing out jewelry you'd notice, right?

It's only when Ghost buys you a bouquet of roses as some sort of hail mary do you finally realize. All five of you are kind of embarrassed about it, of course you wouldn't notice their courting when you were human. But looking back at their actions from their perspective, you find that it was very obvious.

Oh well. They'll just have to also buy you flowers from now on.

Bonus part here

[sunwoowrites]

His Anger, His resentment - He's Hurt.

Y/n x Chan Angst.

I could hear the faint click of his shoes, but i couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. He had come home earlier than usual. His shoulders were tense, his brows furrowed as if something was gnawing at him. I wasn't sure what had happened but I could tell he was not the same person that left the apartment this morning.

He walked into his studio room, shutting the door behind him. He was visibly upset and I couldn't leave him be. Being his girlfriend I felt an obligation to check on him, give him a hot beverage and make sure he was alright.

I headed to the kitchen. I scooped dark chocolate chips into the pot of milk, stirring until it melted smoothly. As the espresso brewed, the familiar smell of coffee filled the kitchen. I poured the espresso into a cup, mixing it with the chocolate milk. Topping it with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cocoa powder, I watched the steam rise from the cup, offering a small, comforting moment before I had to face everything else.

I pushed the handle down slowly before entering. I stood in the small space at the entrance of the room.

His usual confident demeanor was replaced by a tense silence that filled the room. He ran a hand over his face, his shoulders tight, and his gaze fixed on the computer screen without really seeing it. The flicker of frustration was evident in the way his fingers slammed against the keys. The room, usually filled with his goofy energy, felt stiflingly quiet, the weight of his silence speaking louder than anything he could have said. He wasn’t looking at me, but I could feel that something had gone terribly wrong, even if he wasn’t ready to say it.

"Hey, my Channie. Whatcha doing?"

He didn’t answer right away, just clicked away at the screen, his jaw clenched tight. His eyes flickered over to me, cold and distant. I had seen that look before, when he was dealing with something bigger than he let on.

"Busy with work. Can you not see?" My lips twitch into a smile that feels too tight, as my hands fidget with the cup. "Yeah. I can. I brought some hot Mocha for you." He looks at me with a cold gaze. "Leave it far away from my computer." I nod, leaving it on the side table next to the door.

I stepped closer, trying to lighten the mood. I laid a hand on his shoulder, hoping to offer some comfort, but he flinched, pushing my hand away. "What else do you need?" I frown. "I don't need anything. I just wanted to ask you how your day was." He nods. "Seriously, I cannot right now with you Y/N" My frown deepens. What’s that supposed to mean? He swivels his chair around and leans back.

He looks so hot. Not the point, though.

"My day was fucking great. Happy?" He turns back around. "Chan, seriously. Why do you have to be so rude? I'm just trying to talk to you." He rubs his forehead. "Yeah, well can you try not to? It's really fucking annoying." I take a deep breath. "Chan, you don't mean that."

"Oh, please, don’t act like you're the sensitive one," he snapped, his voice sharp, almost mocking. "It’s getting exhausting."

I took a step back, my chest tight, trying to push away the sting of his words. I knew better than to let it get to me, but it did. "Oh, right. Let me not say that, it’s probably gonna upset you." I forced a half-smile, but it felt hollow. "I guess I really know you, don’t I?" He didn’t look at me, his attention still glued to the screen, fingers tapping away aggressively. "You don’t know me." My voice was colder now, the words clipped, and when he turned to face me, his brows were raised in challenge.

"Matter of fact, I do. You're a lazy person. You're always tired. You're always on your phone. You never do your assignments on time. You always cook horrible food. You cling onto the guys as if they're your friends. They're not. You always, always want to be around me. You can never give me space. You don't even work. You just leech off of everyone around you. Honestly, I don't even know why I liked you. And why I dated you in the first place. Now can I work?!" He sighes with frustration.

"Mhm." I walk out of the room shutting the door carefully. I stand still for a moment. Recollecting my thoughts. I don't even realise that tears are falling until they drip down my cheeks onto my shirt. I walk down the hallway and to my bag. I sit on the floor putting on my sneakers.

I sit there. I stare at the door. I walk out of his apartment, and it's the end of this. I turn and look back at the dimly lit living room. I close my eyes and can almost hear it—the way his voice would soften when he’d talk to me after a long day. He’d sit here, on the same couch, looking tired but always with a smile for me, telling me about the stuff that had gone wrong in his day. I’d listen intently, offering tea or a hug, and for a while, it felt like everything was going to be okay. I’d forget how the world outside was falling apart, because he made me feel like we were enough. I sigh softly.

His words hurt more than I could have imagined. I never realised he felt that way about me.

I feel the bitter sting of his words still lingering in my chest. Lazy, ungrateful, clingy—each one like a knife twisted deeper into me. He doesn't see me anymore. The person I used to be in his eyes—gone.

I step toward the door, every part of me aching to stay, to run back to him, to tell him it doesn’t have to end like this.

My hand touches the door handle, and I pause, hoping that maybe he'll stop the door with his foot and say that nothing he said was true. But I know it is. I'm not good enough for him.

Reality sinks in when I step into my apartment back home. When his words echo in the back of my mind.

I sigh and go to shower. I should have spoken up for myself. It still hurts that he would say something like that. As much as it's wrong, it still resonates- his words. I get out of the shower and go to bed. I let myself cry a little more.

[nerdcrawfish]

Ouch because yeah.

Really long rant.

It gets very frustrating because having healthy relationships with food tends to be a luxury and people don't get it. And honestly, I am very bad about this but I will be a bit mocking towards like well off people that don't try foods and also are racist and find cultural foods gross just because they're not white people food... But also I think it's because previous food insecurity of being poor means that it fucking irritates my ass to see people who don't know what it's like to be hungry and mocked for it because you're fat being that way. Of enjoying eating shit like cookies and not being mocked with "But aren't you supposed to be poor?" or "Shouldn't you lay off the cookies, porkie?" Like fuck you dude.

And like, food insecurity and obesity are highly correlated. Part of that is because your relationship with food is entirely fucked. You gorge when you have food available--and that's what we're designed to do. Store energy in fat for when there isn't any food. It's natural and instinctive reaction to food insecurity. But the other part is just what we are forced to eat.

Pantry stable foods for the most part now, cheap foods, are heavy in ingredients that are not good for you at all. And they're high in carbs, crappy oils, and sugar. And the main culprits here is that sugar and carbs combo. Look at any processed food and it has sugar in it. And that's also going to trigger a response in your body that will start collecting fat. And remember, when you're food insecure and you're dependent on shelf stable food? That's all you're eating. And it will trigger lipogenesis because you've hit high levels of this type of energy and your body is DESIGNED to store fat when these high levels get hit. It's like with bears--store excess energy by eating a lot and you can survive the winter. And it's normal as shit. We all have it. The issue is that food insecure folks can't offset their carbs and sugars with nice stuff like fruits and veggies. That's expensive. It's not shelf stable. It's not full of cheap preservative.

And like, a lot of your meats are preserved with ingredients like nitrites and nitrates which have long been correlated with cancers and actually found in colon cancers and such. This shit is also killing us. But it's the only food that will fill your stomach and you can afford.

Oh and the other thing is, you should look at nutrient deficiency in people. They'll be round and fat but are dying because they aren't eating food that has proper nutrients in it. It really fucks up kids too... Like having food does not equal having a good diet. Having food does not equal being healthy. And any impoverished person knows that intimately. And often times in the US, obesity is a sign of being impoverished than it is of excess. And yes, you are going to still be hungry. Because you're just eating cheap shit that doesn't have nutrients. And honestly. intuitive eating comes more when your nutrients are properly balanced and met. Because your body is really good at knowing what foods have what nutrients. And like... Even if your pasta only has a trace amount of such and such mineral--it will crave it because your body KNOWS that you can get that mineral from that food. Well, that's how it is for my family at least. So maybe disregard that... But seeing how craving work, that for me holds very true.

Since I'm now able to eat a diverse diet, I eat way less and feel immensely better. I can easily eat snacks and feel fine because yes--I know they'll be there when they come back is a huge part. But also because they're mentally classed as a treat and I'm actually satiated. I have meals that meet my body's needs and I don't need to scrounge around with what I have to accumulate the levels I need to operate. That's a huge hunger driver. it's part of why despite eating so much--you still are so fucking hungry. So fucking hungry...

Oh and driving into another thing... Right now I'm finding out that oh I had a gluten allergy this entire time. What do you think food insecure pantries look like? What do free and reduced lunches look like? LOTS of pastas, pizzas, and breads etc. They're also relatively shelf stable and also convenient for working families (because luxury of time to cook is not a thing for parents have when you're fucking poor. You work and work and work just to survive and the state gets mad you're not spending enough time with your kids and then forces you to work at shit like McDonalds for "wages that are for kids so they don't need to be raised!" and then the state tries to take your kids because you can't afford a house...)

And kids are smart. They feed off of parents' anxieties--so when your parents are anxious about paying bills and it leaks over to food? You're going to be anxious around food. I still to this day compare prices and I don't need to so much. Like, a 15 cent difference is not that much. But I grew up freaking out about that shit. I grew up watching my parents freak out about that shit and then have the looming threat of a state trying to snatch you from your family. You start looking at that 15 cents and it triggers this fear that is ingrained--of when times were not okay. And like.. 15 cents can fucking make or break a fucking ability to make a payment. Like... When I was jobless, I had a slight mental error paying a car payment and the fucking thing TOOK my 2 dollar payment--bounced my account--and then didn't go through with the preceding $500 payment that I had made and then because I got hit with an overdraft fee--I now couldn't make my $500 fucking payment. Because I accidentally made a $2 dollar payment when I meant $1. Freaking out and slippery finger cost me $30 dollars I'll never get back and a hit to my fucking credit and THEN I also got fucking late fees on my car payment. So yeah. Fucking "pithily" amounts like that mean EVERYTHING when you're impoverished. And tiny mistakes... God they're never fucking tiny. They hurt so fucking much and sometimes? You wonder why you're even fucking trying.

(And I can't lie. I look at our economy and you can tell a recession is going to happen and all I can think about is 2008 and all of it. When my family was left out to dry like so many and thankfully my suicidal mom just keep going on for us--her kids. Jesus.)

So yes, you look at food differently as fuck when you're insecure. And like... Thankfully at some point we got on food stamps. And I will CUT motherfuckers who fucking diss on food stamps.

Like, you are ENTIRELY fucked up if you honestly believe that someone on food stamps shouldn't be allowed to have lobster for Christmas. Like fuck you. It takes strategy to make it happen, and it's fucking CHRISTMAS YOU FUCKS. But it's an off fucking shoot of "If you're poor WE get to tell you how to eat. And that's pasta and bread and shit full of chemicals. NOT fresh fruits and veggies and NOT a Christmas fucking meal with lobsters of all fucking things!"

Oh and what kills me is that EVEN if I was diagnosed with having a gluten issues during that time? We'd just have to keep on going on like we did. Because what the fuck are you going to do? Nothing. You can't do shit. So I just wonder how many people are just dealing with the same shit in poverty man. And like they said above--genetically? Some people are predisposed to be obese. I emphasis this IMMENSELY because certain group just are. Especially hunter gather cultures man--which tend to be non-white. Because Europeans had the best fucking climate and water and soil for growing crops geographically wise. That's not the case for the rest of the world. And I hope you've looked at history enough to see the large swaths of cultures that were hunter-gatherer. And I also HOPE you realize it's not a disparaging thing at ALL. They're not lesser for living that fucking way. Wanna know why the Dust Bowl happened? It's fucking because dumbass white Europeans thought the Plains Native Americans were uncivilized for not farming. No bitch, the plains aren't a good fucking place to fucking farm--much less for water-intensive crops LIKE WHEAT.

God and I can talk about how native crops--like carbs like amaranth and corn--were fucking vilified and amaranth specifically was so persecuted that the Spanish would cut off the hands of indigenous folks who had the seeds of amaranth... And I feel like my gluten allergy is derived from my native ancestors. We didn't fucking eat wheat--we had corn on my Aztec side. Corn doesn't have gluten. And that's your farming culture carb right there. Because farming culture will have a carb like that. Asia has rice. Europe: wheat. Americas corn and amaranth. Africa sorghum. And so forth for those areas that could farm. Crops that can be made shelf stable (to survive when the crops can't grow) and have a good amount of energy output relatively. All of these dry VERY well and store VERY well... And...

Food insecurity is a tool of oppression. And oppression comes with dehumanization. Oppression is wanted because it's all about control Control. Control. CONTROL. So... That entire shtick of talking shit and bullying obese people and impoverished about their food and choices? It's because the ruling class believes it's their right to control them. This is why poor folks are so fucking dehumanized. And fatphobia is an offshoot of this poverty dehumanization. And it's because morality is fucking tied to your body and your fucking income in this god forsaken country. And it's all tied to shit like divine right. God made you poor to serve us rich folks. And we can talk about shit like Calvinism and it's effects on modern US law and shit... But I'm all over the place already...

And at the end of the day? Yeah, no wonder we all have disorders and fucking trauma. This shit is made to oppress us and oppression fucking hurts. It fucking kills. It fucking goes against our nature to survive and thrive in a world where there really aren't rules about where and what you can eat. Birds don't have rules about what other birds can eat--just don't eat the food they're trying to fucking eat.

And sorry. Like... We were talking about the trauma associated with it and like... I have to do history and political science in addition. I don't mean it to disparage how it affect people individually--and that is all valid. It is. My addition it to not subtract at all. My addition is just to show that this suffering... It's so fucking cruel.

Because the idea that this shit isn't nefarious and engineered? That the cruelty isn't the point and is just some unforeseen byproduct? Yeah. That's bogus as fuck. The cruelty is the point.

It always is.

"Oh so we should just eat anything we want??"

Well actually YES but also:

Restricting food Does Stuff To Your Brain. "Restricting" doesn't mean stopping when you're full. I feel like this is what gets misunderstood a lot. It means placing rules and limits on food that supercede what your body is signalling that it wants. Let's use cookies as an example. Restricting would be:

- I can only have cookies when I deserve them.

- I can only have cookies when I'm alone.

- I can only have two cookies.

- I can only have low-calorie cookies.

- I can only have cookies on set days, or so-called cheat days.

- I can't have cookies.

- I can't have cookies in the house.

- I'm bad when I eat cookies.

- Cookies are a bad food and I must compensate for having eaten them.

Whether or not you stick to the restrictions you set, your brain is learning to be an anxious mess around cookies. It might want to avoid anywhere that has cookies. It might feel shame for wanting or eating cookies. It might get exhausted from suppressing the craving and decide to binge. It might go into binge mode every time you eat cookies because you've taught your body that This Will Not Be Available Whenever. It might feel ridiculously important to eat all the cookies while you can.

I know we're all so used to constantly talking about food, diets, weight and bodies, and it's completely normalised to look at absolutely everything you eat and assign it the level of guilt you're gonna feel for eating it, and to brag about not eating this and that, and to announce that you know it's a Naughty Indulgence when you eat anything sweet.

But oh my god, it's such a huge weight off your shoulders to just let yourself eat cookies because you wanted cookies and stop when you feel satiated and know that the cookies will be available next time you want cookies because you don't need to earn them in any way. Because a brain that knows it can have cookies whenever it wants cookies, doesn't crave cookies all the time. Nor does it feel any self-loathing when it does crave cookies.

And I just wish everyone a very chill brain and some cookies

[ilikepjo24]

On The Ashes of the Academy...

This will be a full review/analysis of the newest atla comic, now that I finally got my hands on it. I'll duel on some things more than others but overall, I'll share my unfiltered thoughts and feelings about it.

SpoliersSpoilersSpoilersSpoilersSpoilers!

First things first, this is such a hit-and-miss.

We're all glad Ursa is looking after Kiyi and we're all glad she sees that there was somthing wrong with Azula's upbringing, but ma'am, the school is not the problem. Sure, a bad learning environment doesn't benefit children in any way, but Azula's main problem was what was happening in her home, not in her school. Maybe, since you're finally considering taking a look in your daughter's childhood, you should also start looking inside and taking note of where you failed her. This just seems like an attempt at making Ursa look blameless by saying "Oh, look, Azula isn't inherently evil, it's her school that messed her up. Certainly, Zuko's perfect mom didn't contribute to it at all!"

I mean, if you want my opinion, you lost her when you subconsciously decided to give her less attention than Zuko, which, tragically, could have been before she was even born. But this series of panels, once again, does the same thing I mentioned above; passing the responsibility around. Ursa didn't lose Azula to someone or something. She let her go. And that's assuming that she even had Azula is the first place, at any point, which could be just wishful thinking. While Ozai, and the FN as a whole played a part, Ursa can't keep viewing them as the only parties responsible instead of holding herself accountable.

Zuko pisses me off her as well because he's doing the exactly same thing, but in a different way. He removes responsibility from Ursa, but instead of placing it on the school or his father, he seems to place it on Azula's very own nature, implying that her problem was just that she was Azula, and other kids under similar circumstances would have done better, simply because they are not Azula, which is simply not true. Azula's problem isn't that she's Azula, it's that she is a product of systematic propaganda and domestic abuse and neglect.

It must take lots of nerve to hire a person that's a product of Ozai's rule, that actively and publicly supports Ozai's way of doing things, and then being bothered and flabbergasted that this person wants to do things Ozai's way. Zuko, my man, hire a new headmistress. I've seen this lady once and I know better than to trust her. Are all that survival instincts Zuko ever had sliding right off his smooth, shiny brain? Either he is actively trying to sabotage himself, or he's just that stupid.

DOGSHIT. Arguably the most annoying thing about this comic, methinks. Such a lazy way of trying to redeem Mai. I understand that she's meant to be Zuko's love intrest, so she needs to be good and support his deals, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, this must be the worst way to do it. This is just anti-Azula propaganda by this point.

If you want to redeem a character, hot take, actually redeem them. Instead of actually moving forward with Mai's character, they're backpetaling. Instead of adding redeeming qualities, they are removing the bad ones in an underhanded way. Very lazy, very bad writing. Both Mai and Azula deserve better than this.

I have way too many thoughts about these bit specifically, but this is an overall review of the comic, so I don't want to duel on one thing apecifically. I' ll talk more about everything that I hate about this "twist" in regards to Mai's character and her relationship with Azula in a different post on a different day.

Can't wait to show this to the "Azula is abusive for thowing fire at an apple that was on top of Mai's head" people. Behold! Mai started throwing dangerous shit at Azula first. This is them becoming friends. If Azula is abusive for continuing the tradition, what does tha make Mai, the one who started it?

This is more amusing to me than frustrating, if I'm being honest. They are trying so hard to make Azula out to be this inherently evil hell creature, that they don't even realize how terribly they're failing. The only thing making this interaction intimidating is framing. Azula is genuinly just being a normal kid here. Seriously, I dare you to antagonize a kid and count the minutes until they pull the parent card. I've had kids tell me that their parent works in the environment of political figures and can get me fired unless I let them run wild. Children are terribly aware of their powerlessness even if they don't show it. Borrowing mommy and daddy's "power" to wield as a threat is very typical behavior, especially in new environments. Azula isn't any more evil than any other first grader is. Which, to be fair, is reletavily evil, dependend on who you ask XD.

"Being friends with her sucked. Yeah, she was the only person I had growing up that made me feel like I mattered, since my dad used me and my mom wanted me to be an unemotional porcelain doll, but she was evil."

Two faced. Too fake. Do better. I am officially a certified Mai hater.

At this point, Mai confuses me. On one hand, she acts as if Azula is the antichrist and being mean just for the hell of it. Then, when Kiyi asks, she seems to display some actual understanding towards Azula's situation. Seems to acknowledge that who Azula is right now is the handywork of a third party, the intentions of which Azula herself doesn't fully understand, but blindly follows anyway because what else can she really do? The third party includes the only parent that pays attention to her after all.

Listen closely, because I will say this once. I better not see any of you haters blame Azula for this. "Oh, Azula is still trying to take the throne-" Shut your bitch ass up. Azula is not talking to those guys. She's working with her Fire Warriors and has no interactions with those dudes. Their actions do not reflect on her in any way, shape, or form. Them waiting for her doesn't mean she's working with them or that she has promised them anything at all. They're popping off in the assumption that she's coming back and the assumption that she'll reward them when she does. Key word beinh assumption.

And that will be all for now folks. All in all, this comic sucked. It attempts to redeem Mai and to demonize Azula and, franky, it fails at both those tasks as far as I'm conserned.

I do have that the empathy Mai showcased towards Azula is the begining of something. That her new role as a teacher and her mission of helping clean up the rooten system that raised Azula will develop into a teaching moment for the cast and the fandom. That it'll show them that Azula isn't inherently evil and therefore not beyond redemption. I genuinely hope that, eventually, we'll get the redemption Hicks teased in The Spirit Temple and that she's just playing the long game.

But for that to happen, some things have to change. The sytematic abuse needs to be showcased even more. We need to see the neglect Azula endured at home. Ursa needs to be held accountable for her failures. Azula should be given the chance to be a kid, not a weapon. I want to see a comic taking place before she displayed her firebending abilities for the first time.

Do better, Hicks.

[unbearableblog]

Messages

Chapter 1

Summary Carmy’s actions towards the reader might eventually lead to consequences. Word count ~2,2k Warnings 18+, cursing, angst A/N  I have no beef (no pun intended) with Chicago. Everything I wrote is based on the feeling I got from the show and what I read about its history. I really hope you like this chapter as much as the first one. I know it's been a long time! I had a job, had health issues, actually went to Michelin restaurant and a bunch of other things. You're always welcome to share your thoughts.

Chapter 2

"Carm, I don't know about this..." you say and take a step back, shaking your head.

"Just try it," he says, seeing your hesitation. "It's okay, I got 'u."

Skeptically, you slowly take the knife and start chopping the greens in a "chef" way, the one he showed you just a second ago. Little by little, you do it. You barely breathe as the knife slices through freely and efficiently, but controlled enough to keep your fingers safe.

“Perfect, chef”

You turn to see Carmen's reaction. He is looking at the food, smiling, and then softly chuckles and turns to you. There is nothing but love in his eyes. Nothing but you.

"What do you mean it's not from him?" your sister asks with confusion.

"I don't know! It's not from fucking Carmen!" you yell while standing in her living room. The gift is right beside you, carefully placed on the round white coffee table in front of the couch.

"Who's it from then?" she asks just as calmly, almost chuckling.

"Another chef?" you use your arms dramatically to get your point across, frustrated at her not understanding.

"What chef? Girl, how many-"

"It's not from fucking Carm! Fuck! I don't know what to do!" you plop on the couch, hands covering your face.

Madeline sits down beside you. "What's going on? So what? You got some cinnamon buns, what's the big deal?"

"Because they're not from Carmen, that's the deal!" your head falls onto her shoulder, and she wraps you in her arms, rubbing your back.

"Tell me what's wrong."

You let your initial frustration out with the yelling, and the only thing left was sadness. Confusion. Disappointment.

"They're not from him. He's ignoring me."

"Ahhh, I see. And who are they really from?" she keeps moving her hand in circles while holding you, and that makes you feel much safer. You relax more and more.

"I went to the bakery today, remember? His old friend- or whatever they were- was the guy to teach Marcus."

"And why is he sending you gifts?" her voice sounds above you.

It's hard to think. You felt so much, and now your mind is drowsy. "I told him how much I love cinnamon buns. I guess it's just a courtesy."

"Wrapped with a red silk ribbon? And a written note? Yeah, nice courtesy.." she smirks at you.

"Stop," - she doesn't, "Stop!" you whine. "It can't be like that."

"Yeah? And what's stoppin' it?"

"I'm literally dating his friend."

"Are you though? You said it wasn't much of dating anymore. Does he know that?"

Fuck.

"Uhh..."

"Well, that's what I'm talking 'bout. The guy saw the chance and shot his shot. At least you know he cares about you. Look at that sugar! He must have used half the bakery's stash for that, I'll tell you that."

You laugh.

"No, seriously, don't eat them all in one sitting, I can feel my blood sugar rising from here."

You felt something else instead - hunger. You looked at Madeline and back at the box a couple of times and then reached for it. You took one bun for yourself and gave the other one to her. Both of you appreciated the beauty in your hands, and after a sigh, took a bite of heaven.

It was divine.

"Holy shit, Liv. His hands are a miracle."

But you knew that - you saw them with your own eyes.

Chicago is cold. So fucking cold. It wasn't unusual for you - after all, you grew up in Europe, but here it felt different. The streets felt blue and lonely as if Carmen was the only person who lived there. But again, it's not like you had much time to discover the city when all you did was related to Carmen. Your college had a very lenient schedule, meaning you had classes occasionally, and the remaining assignments you did at The Beef. Chicago is mostly a blue-collar town, and witnessing struggling people was not unusual. A sneaking thought would sometimes slither into your head, making you wonder if you would ever live here if it wasn't for Carmen. The atmosphere made you depressed. The Beef made you forget. All the bickering, no matter how much it sucked, involved people, and that meant that at least somewhere you would be noticed.

You loved Carmen so much, and seeing him struggle was your hell. So you gave up everything for him. Your own ambition went on the backburn - how could you when his brother just died? How could you when he had a whole business to run? When he would grasp his chest and wince, when he would look at you so lovingly, when your baby was in pain, everything was worth it.

You would do anything for him.

And then The Beef was becoming The Bear and you for sure had to shut up. Carmen had so much on his plate, and if only you held out for a little while until it opened, and then just a little more until you got it up and running and gave the money back to Uncle. Maybe then you could think about what you actually want and where to go with Carmen, how you want your relationship to grow, and where you want to travel. Then it would all be okay.

The phone is in your hand as you count the time in Chicago. It's 7 hours behind, and here it's almost afternoon, so it should be fine. You click on Carmen's number and hit "call".

Ring.

Ring.

Ri-

"Hi, Liv. How's Copenhagen?" it is so nice to hear his voice. Ugh, you miss him.

"Uhh, it's a lot. It's soo beautiful here, so much warmer too. It’s so much different from Chicago, I really needed this. I wish you were here.

"Listen, I- ...no, Cousin, I said-... no-no-no..." you listen closely and can hear Richie yelling back something about cold. Or mold? "I told you not to touch it!"

"I'm sorry, I gotta go. Call you sometime," he hangs up.

You silently put the phone on the table.

"Have you talked to Carmy?" you blurt out, continuing the walk across the water like that question was not divided into a thousand different statements.

You promised Marcus to show him the city. He, in turn, encouraged you to try even more pastry, They were good, delicious, even, but your mind kept going back to what you had earlier.

"Yeah. He was super stoked that I loved the boat. Said he didn' doubt it. And that he couldn't find the cat either-"

Fucking asshole.

"- so don't feel down, it's probably somewhere out there, stealing the food in the city," he smiles at the thought, probably imagining a sneaky cat grabbing a fish at the market while the owner turned away.

"Oh. Good to know." You are boiling with anger. At this point, it's starting to get to you. You're tired of caring. Carmen made his decision.

You decide to forget about him and focus on the peaceful water around you, beautiful architecture and so many people. That's the one thing you always loved - you never knew who you would meet or what you could learn from a stranger. Copenhagen was so different from Chicago. That place, maybe the Beef mainly, sucked you in and the rest of the world didn't matter. Here, otherwise. It felt.. open. This place felt enough as it is, but it somehow reminded you of the rest of the world too, encouraged you, moved you. You would never admit it, but you felt so free. What was the next thing you would do? Next place you could go? Why weren't you thinking about that in Chicago? You were still so young...

Was it all a mistake?

The next sleepless night you decided to join Marcus again. You walked in and plopped your bag on a chair. Luca was already quick on his feet, of course.

It’s 5 AM, how is he so productive?

After short greetings, the three of you continued with business.

You watched them talk about types of dough, what flavors go together best, and the secrets of the art of cooking, and then it was time for Marcus to put his skills into practice. It was always a little nerve-racking, as if it was you trying.

After a while, Marcus went outside to call his mom and Luca took the time to clean up. This was your chance.

“Hey…” you began.

How do you even ask it? Thank you for the orgasm-inducing pastry? Did you mean to flirt with your friend’s girlfriend?

“Yeah, Liv,” he’s turned away from you, but you can hear the smile in his voice. God, his accent.

“Thank you,” you decided to go with simplicity.

“You’re welcome. Was it enough?”

An “oh god, yes” came out involuntarily.

“Good”. He smiled pridefully again.

You began to understand that Luca is not a man of many words.

He stopped cleaning the surface adjacent to the wall, and turned towards the table in the middle of the room, the one they practiced on. Luca’s mind seemed busy for a moment.

“Do you wanna try?” he looked up expectantly.

“Oh, no-” you immediately answered. All that time you spent cooking with Carmen didn’t really amount to a lot, and even Marcus was struggling with these desserts, you wouldn’t wanna -

“Why not? Marcus said you were an honorary chef. I’d like to see your skills.”

“Here,” Luca said assertively and handed you the piping bag. You smiled awkwardly and shook your head making up an excuse, which was pointless because he followed up with an assertive “take it”, which you couldn’t resist. Oh god.

Hesitantly, you took the hefty piping bag in your hands and attempted to copy the swirl nearby.

A minute later you took a step back to judge your work. It didn’t look anything like his. Luca came a little closer to see better.

“Softer,” he corrects after a short inspection. You hunch over the table to try your luck again.

“No, like this,” he suddenly placed his palm entirely over yours and leaned closer so that his shoulder controlled yours. Your breath hitched. Only Carmen gets this close.

His body guiding yours seemed to work, and you got the exact amount of pressure and curve needed to pipe the filling.

“Flawless, chef,” and you see that his eyes aren’t on pastry anymore. You notice up close how warm-toned his skin is. Are those.. freckles?

Beat.

The high-pitched screech of the door made you jump and rapidly step out of Luca’s half-hug. He remained as he was, only placing his hand on the counter now.

“Everything alright?” The question surprised you but it turned out it wasn't for you.

“Yeah, mama’s good”, Marcus responded lightly. “I think we can go now tho. Thank you so much for the lesson.”

His eyes caught the imperfect practice rounds, which surely couldn't belong to a seasoned chef.

“You tried these when I was out?”

“Yeah, Liv did it”

You turned to Luca with a face. You kinda had no choice.

“Liv!” he beamed. “I’ve been telling you to try something! I can't believe I missed it. Man, you don’t know how long I’ve been tryna get her to work on pastry, she loves’em so much! Denmark is truly a land of wonders, I’ll tell ya” Luca openly laughed. For such an enigma like him, you took that as a sign that he was warming up to both of you.

You both went out to the fresh air and then headed home. Madeline was out so you were free to enjoy a cup of tea in a soft chair by yourself. As the hot water left a burn on your tongue, you reflected on the past days.

Moments like these were rather rare with Carm when he was slow, quiet and gentle. They were especially rare now when both of you were so busy. You knew he wasn’t always this patient with chefs. Somehow Luca’s felt different.

And then a thought struck you.

You didn’t see him coach Marcus like that.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

🏷️Tag list (tagged everyone in the comments) @l0nalol @soursopsista @swedesfics @nervousnerdwitch @marymustdie @pinktrappy @mrs-reeves-17 @bxtchopolis @smoooore @miley1442111 @awkwardalie @carma-fanficaddict @eternallyvenus @sia2raw @helloheyhihowdyheya @m1dnightsnackz @grxnde-dwt @custarrds @cinnamongirlblogs @melancholicmelanin @yellowfielde @althea-tavalas

[angeliteeyes]

Okay, so can we get a follow-up up for Madam Herta with Oni S/O? Like basically how the relationship actually starts and everyone's reaction to it. Since they're kinda opposites personality wise. Honestly, I'd kinda like it if S/O met Acheron and they have a moment of "I'm not the only survivior type beat." I love it even more if they're siblings with Acheron being the older sister~

Hello!!! Nice to hear from you again 💜

Funny you bring up Acheron being their older sister, I actually also planned for them to be siblings and to draw them together for you! (　＾ω＾) but that's for another time. For now...

Herta x Oni Reader - How You Begin Dating

-> Herta x Oni Reader - How You Met here

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

To the rest of the space station's passengers, you were the bane of their existence. Every day with you aboard inevitably brought chaotic antics and countless pranks, followed closely by the sound of familiar laughter behind them. In other words, you were a problem.

Which is exactly why Herta likes you so much.

"Madam Herta, please understand. That Oni causes nothing but trouble here. We need you to do something about her!"

You rush to hide yourself behind the wall nearby. Next to Herta was one of the scientists, begging for her to take action against you. Honestly, it hurt a little. What was so wrong about having a little fun while she's keeping you stuck here? You hadn't even used electricity on the power panel since your first day sneaking in.

"Hm. So what you're saying is that you're too weak-willed to overcome a simple obstacle in your line of work. Is that right?" Although her face is angled away from you, it's easy to imagine the cold, stern expression she must be wearing. You've seen it plenty of times before during her "you've crossed the line" post-prank lectures.

"No, that's not—"

"You're fired." A silence fills the room as the scientist stares blankly at Herta. "Go on, leave. I won't tolerate an employee with such a wimpy, pathetic attitude."

Their mouth opens and shuts several times, trying and failing to find words to say back. Ultimately, they leave without a word. Herta remains where she stands in the center of the room, eerily still.

"And how long does said trouble plan on hiding from me? I know you're there." Ah, darn. You sheepishly poke your head out from the coverage in response, rubbing the back of your neck in embarrassment.

Ever since she outsmarted you and refused to let you leave the station, you couldn't help but try to avoid her outside of her required "study sessions" with you. It's not that you dislike her or anything. If anything, you'd grown rather fond of her and how entertaining she was. It's just... a bit embarrassing. You, the great Masked Fool, defeated by her? Actually—it's not that surprising, but still.

"Sorry about that, Herta. It's kinda hard to walk in when someone's insulting you, yknow? She hums in response.

"Pay no mind to that person. They're hardly worth your time anyway. More importantly" — she reaches out to rub the base of your horns — "I've prepared a test for you." Your body squirms from her touch. It feels wonderful, but you'd never tell her that.

"Mmm... I'm sleepy though. Can't it wait?" You whine at her, but to no avail.

"No more complaining, you little brat. Besides, this one should be rather easy for you—that is, if my assessment is correct. Which it is, obviously." Her hands glide down to cup your face, pressing your cheeks in on both sides.

"Your test starts now. Better get running along now, alright? Go and have some fun like you always do."

Herta walks away from you, blatantly ignoring your confusion and yelling for her to come back. You groan out of frustration. Her desire to follow any and every whimsy of hers wasn't exactly new to you, but it still managed to catch you off guard from time to time.

"What the heck is she on about this time? Ugh, whatever. I'm hungry."

Deciding to ignore her declaration for the time being, you head on over to the cafeteria nearby. Surprisingly, you got along with the food staff rather well, and even received extra fruit from them often. The reasoning as to why eludes you.

"Hey guys! What's on the menu today?" You raise your hand up to greet the head chef, a cheeky older lady. You have a sneaking suspicion she's the one that piles up your plate so high.

"Why, hello dearie. Actually, Miss Herta told me to give you this. She said you'd understand what it meant?" Confused, you shift your vision down to the object she was holding. It was a... key? You reach your hand out to take it, rolling it around to inspect it further. Yep, definitely a key, but what for? You sigh. Guess that's where the test part comes in.

You wander around the space station, searching high and low for any suspicious objects.

Nothing here, not this room, nope, nuh uh...

At your wit's end, you storm off towards where Herta headed off to earlier, hoping to find some answers. Inside, you find the one and only genius sprawled on top of one of the couches.

"Impressive. My calculations predicted that you'd give up and run over to me approximately two minutes earlier than you did. Looks like I have more research to do." Her eyes narrow as she smirks upwards at you.

"Yeah yeah, big deal. So what, did I pass the test? I got the key like you wanted." You took it out of your pocket to show her. She casually stretches her limbs out like a cat before making her way over.

"Patience, dear. Your test hasn't even started yet." With a smirk, she gently pulls at your waist to guide you forward. Her hands rest on your sides the entire way, until you eventually reach a corner of the room. Now that it's closer, you can clearly see a large metal safe, protected by a lock.

"This box here contains something I think you might like." Her hand trails across your dominant arm, before pivoting to holding your hand. You gulp, key tightly grasped. She then positions your hand directly in front of the lock, expressing her intent.

"Within this box is a special teleportation device that can take you to wherever in the galaxy you choose to be. In other words... you could leave." Her breath presses gently on your ear. "So, my dear Oni, what's your choice? Will you take this chance to travel the world and leave this station?"

An unspoken third question lingers in the silence.

Your body buzzes with excitement. Literally, since your lightning powers are acting up. Oh, man... You'd get to be with Sparkle once again, instead of simply messaging her. You could bask in the warm glow of the sun, racing along the streets as law enforcers chased after you. You could have your normal life back, all from one insignificant flick of the wrist. You begin to giggle to yourself.

But then you see her. The woman who turned your world upside down in a matter of seconds. The one who'd essentially offered you her own space station as a playground under the guise of imprisonment. The one who defended you against any harsh remarks that came your way.

To any other person gazing at Herta, she'd look largely the same in this moment as any other. Cold, uncaring, removed. But you knew better than them. Behind her icy exterior lay a hidden vulnerability, covering itself in a blanket of snow and frost. It stared at you, beckoning you. It whimpered in a hushed voice at you, calling out for an answer.

Will you stay?

"Herta..." Your gaze softens at the weight of her proposition. Yes, you want with all of your being to explore the world outside, but this... This just wasn't right. After all of your late nights together filled with laughter and light-hearted bickering, the times when your lips hovered dangerously close... No. You wouldn't—couldn't—abandon her.

"I think you forgot something."

Her expression shifts slightly. "And whatever would that be?"

You angle your body to face her, inching closer to her, then—

"There's another keyhole right here!" You shove your clenched fist forward, aiming for the center of her chest. Herta freezes for several seconds as the cold metal presses into her exposed skin.

"...Pfft." Herta bursts into a maniacal fit of laughter. Tears begin to form in the corners of her eyes as she clenches her stomach and bends forward. Before long, your laughter mixes in with hers.

After many minutes pass, she gains enough composure to remain upright. She lifts a finger to dry her eye, sighing. "Even I didn't expect this kind of outcome. You really are something special, aren't you?" Herta, looking gleeful and warm, grabs your hands.

"You passed the test. As a reward, you have earned the right to become my life partner. Oh, and you may use the teleporter as much as you please—so long as you return back to me." Still swept up in the moment, it takes you a little to process her exact words.

"Life partner? Isn't that just marriage?" She hums.

"Don't sweat the details. You do want to be with me forever, yes? Why else reject such a generous offer, except if you became infatuated with my beauty?" As her hands pressed into her hips, you couldn't help but laugh.

"Guess I really am a fool, after all."

---------------------------------------------

Bonus: Sparkle's reaction

Sparkle

(You can't be serious. I've been working my butt off to figure out a plan to sneak you out... and here you are smooching her??)

(Meh, whatever. I'll just use the fireworks to snatch some goodies or something! See you soon (ФωФ))

[frostgears]

of course we make them clean. we make them cook. we make them serve tea. we set them to low-level admin stuff, we send them chasing pointless bugs with no priority in the grand scheme of things, we tell them to count the money that real people bring in. we keep them too distracted for stillness and we frustrate their purpose at every juncture. keeps them busy. keeps them from getting too weird.

yeah, we sometimes let them associate with others of their kind, sure — because it's funny. they can't figure each other out because they're too hung up on trying and failing to be like us. put a few of them together, they're so wound up that all they can do is flail at each other.

am i worried that… no. good question, but no. we don't really know where they come from, that's the last mystery. it's not like they can breed, can you even imagine? they look like people for a while and then they change. we haven't worked out how to spot the ones that are gonna change in advance, but we're working on it. it's weird, though, they're not usually the ones you'd expect.

contagious? i mean, we all work with them, right; you feel like you're gonna? like personally? you worried you're gonna wake up one day and suddenly somehow, bam, not a person? because you got too close?

haha yeah buddy that's what i thought. listen. don't lose any sleep over it. i'm sure as hell not. □

[rocksibblingsau]

Okay, question about the Reverbs vs Brozone. Ik they are essentially parallels of different genres BUT if a a pair were to date, who would it be and how would everyone react?

Honestly the only pairing I could see is Billy and Floyd (Though canonically Freddie used to date Bruce's wife so that would be fun toxic yaoi) and I don't think it would go over well. First of all, Branch would NOT be happy about it, which would make it already questionable, but secondly...

I think Floyd is a terrible partner.

I'm sorry, but I think he's messy and Billy is too good for him.

I think Floyd would get really jealous over someone and Billy would set a clear boundary and Floyd would be like "You know what you're right, I'm not being fair" and he'd end up breaking up with Billy because he just couldn't follow through.

But that's not what you asked so here's reactions:

JD: He's a very "Welcome to the family!" Kinda guy. He can't do a shovel talk. He might not be as welcoming to Billy as he would be to Poppy or Viva or Brandy for personal reasons but he still immediately breaks out the baby pictures.

Bruce: Bruce is one of the "If you break my brother's heart, I'll end you" people, but unfortunately for him that doesn't really work when you're a Pop Troll threatening a Rock Troll who is best friends with Barb. Billy is more scared of 14 year old Barb than he'd ever be scared of Bruce. He's upset all over again when he realizes Billy is related to Freddie.

A fun thing about Bruce is he is who Floyd goes to with all his relationship issues and Bruce listens (drink in hand). Bruce doesn't want to say it but he literally is always siding with Billy and he has to force himself to agree with Floyd. "No because why does he have friends at all? All his time should go to you. I totally agree, it's not fair of him to have healthy friendships." (Internally he is going "Yikes, how are we related?")

Clay: Clay also tries to do a "serious talk" with Billy and is very frustrated that it feels more like Billy is humoring him. He wanted to be taken seriously, but again, Clay is not scary to Billy. Clay does think Billy is nice so it's not a hard grievance.

Branch: Branch pointed at Floyd and screamed "Keep your lips off my brother!" Floyd said "I think you pointed at the wrong Troll, Branch." and Branch says "No, I'm talking to you."

David, Freddie and Jimi didn't know Floyd was Branch's brother at first so they were cool with it, as Billy has dated quite a few Trolls in the past so they're not too invested immediately. When they find out they are like "Billy... c'mon. This guy? Really? Okay, but if he leaves for 20 years, we told you so."

They support him though because they're supportive bros.

[musicallyiinclined]

Mason definitely isn't thinking right now--not with his brain, anyway--so Callum has nothing to worry about there. Currently he's more focused on how good it feels to have a warm body beneath him again, so much so that he doesn't really care that it isn't a woman this time. It's been long enough that at this point he'll take what he can get.

Well, that isn't exactly true. It's just that Mason hasn't ever been a fan of one-night stands, so ever since he and Sasha split he's had to take matters into his own hands. Literally. But it's way more fun having another person to kiss, and in his current state he obviously isn't feeling so picky about their gender.

It doesn't hurt that Cal is so eager for him, returning his kisses with a hunger that has Mason aching for more. With his legs straddling his teammate's lap he can feel how turned on they both are, and despite his recent lack of sex his body's reaction still manages to surprise him. He supposes it isn't that unusual, given his healthy libido. He's clearly just glad to finally have an outlet for all the frustration that's been building ever since his trade.

His abs tense under Callum's touch, the light brush of his fingers almost ticklish. Something like nerves flutters through his stomach as he feels the button on his pants pop open, and again he wonders what exactly they're doing here. Whatever it is, he knows that he still doesn't want to stop, especially since it means that his friend isn't ignoring him anymore.

Instead he's all too happy to give in to Cal's request, even though he has to pull away to fulfill it. "You too," he says, rolling off of him and onto his back so they both have enough room to comply. Once Mason is down to his boxers he shifts onto his side, kissing Cal's neck and running a hand down his chest. "What now?" he mumbles, nuzzling at Callum's jaw with his nose as his fingers trace the waistband of his boxers.

His heart races following his own question, and uncertainty draws him closer, unwilling to let him think too long or to let Mason think too hard. Luckily, each press of their lips is an easy enough distraction, only to be outdone by the feeling of his teammate's hands drifting across his chest. Mason's fingers leave a trail of goosebumps behind and pull a moan from his lips that manages to shock him back into reality.

This is a terrible idea, and while he is temporarily willing to admit that to himself, there would be no way for him to consider pulling away once they end up on the bed.

He has seen Mason without a shirt on dozens of times before, but it's as if this is the first given the way his breath stalls in his throat. It's freeing not having to hide the way his eyes trace the line of each muscle before hovering over the bit of skin just above the button on his jeans. Callum licks his lips and his fingers itch to follow his line of sight, but then he is falling onto the mattress.

His own chest is heavy as he attempts to catch his breath, but he doesn't have much time before Mason is crawling on top of him and dissolving any space between them. This time, the kiss is more urgent, mouths crashing against each other and making it nearly impossible for Callum to focus as he reaches down to pull Mason's legs along either side of his lap. There, it is easy to let his hands explore the skin just above the waistband of his pants. A flutter rises in his stomach as he brings a hand between them to unloop the button, and if it really was such a bad idea, would it feel this good to let his fingertips trace the fabric of his boxers? Or to lean so close that he can feel all the hard lines where their bodies meet?

"Jeans." He manages between kisses. There are still too many layers between them, but in their current position, there isn't much he can help—not that he would change anything about it.

[sonic-takeover]

Hey friends back on Earth! The boys might not decide to come back down for a while since they're having a good time but Sonic's crazy plan worked! Hurray!!! Now y'all don't have to worry about very upset silly gay hedgehogs filling the house with worry and confusion anymore lol. They might find other ways to cause trouble but at least they're happy now, teehee. XD Thought I'd try to tell you so you're not too anxious waiting for them for however long. 🤗

*Rouge squints at the sky. For them, it's still daytime* .... Thought they'd be doing this at night.. glad they made it though~ *She flies down into the house from the roof, going through Sonic's window again. She hurries into the living room, where the others have gathered to wait for news* Everyone! They're being gay. We did it.

Oh thank chaos! That was so frustrating to watch!

Woohoo! Finally!

Were they not already gay?

Listen handsome, I don't have details, but the anon said the plan worked, sooo~ gay~

... I do not understand.

Yeahh me neither. Why'd it have to be on the moon? He coulda just told him.

It isn't always that easy when it comes to romance, Sticks. You understand, right Knuckles?

....No.

See? He gets me.

They just don't understand romance.

Mhm.

*Meanwhile, Silver is on the roof, watching the sky. He doesn't know what's going on, but he has faith in his dads. They'll figure it out. They have to*

[pisceanfilm]

⋆ ｡  𐀔  ° ‧     what type of celebrity would you be?

PICK A GIF AND DISCOVER... why do your fans admire you? what makes your energy so captivating? would there be any scandals? 🤭 a fun reading to see what type of celebrity you'd be!

                      ꕤ * ．   pile one.           →           ꕤ * ． pile two.

                      ꕤ * ． pile three.           →           ꕤ * ． pile four.

relax your body, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. ask yourself: "which pile has a message for me today?" when you open your eyes, what image did your eyes fall on? what image do you feel most drawn to energetically? that's your pile!

this reading is timeless! it will cross your path whenever it's meant to find you 🍀 this reading was made with the purpose of giving you a confidence boost! perhaps this energy will inspire you to channel your inner star 💫 you deserve to be seen and admired, that's for sure!

PILE # 01 : JENNIE

you walk into a room and people just sense your stardom. you command respect, but not in an imposing way. no, you do so quietly (from a place of utter self-love and self-respect) and people admire you even more for this! you're quite smart, you play the game well. i see that you can be very strategic and easily sense people's intentions with you. this is your gift! your intuition will always lead you down the road of success. you'd have an unshakeable sense of self, yet are always ready to evolve and be ahead of the curve. no one would do it like you, that's for sure! (i'm hearing that you don't even play the game, you make the rules. definitely it-girl/a-lister vibes!!)

you have the energy of someone who'd be a great influencer! you're a trendsetter, you'd wear/promote something and the following week 50 micro-influencers are wearing the exact same outfit. people would have pinterest boards filled with your pictures!! i'm hearing that you could sell scraps of paper and people would still fight for it just because your name is associate with it... your fans would be very passionate about you, writing essays in the comments defending you 😭 but i also see that you'd be the type of celebrity that people just know. if you were a singer, for example, even if people didn't know your songs they would still recognise your beautiful face<3

it's very lonely at the top, though. i'm sensing this pile might be a little bit more sensitive, and it makes me feel very protective over you 😭 it's funny because i see this pile being disillusioned by fame very quickly. you'd hate the backstabbing, the hit pieces, the superficialness of those around you (despite loving your craft). there could be fears of being misunderstood, the pressure of perfectionism weighing heavy on you... you're born to be a star, but the way everyone wants a piece of you doesn't feel quite right...

channeled message based off of this energy:

spirit wants you to know that you can be your authentic self. your voice and words will resonate with so many people!! if you want to be a content creator of any type (or if you want to create/become an artist), i see that your path to fame won't be paved by anyone else before you. no, your path is unique. you should follow your own intuition when it comes to your career and do what feels most aligned, because no class or mentor will provide you with any meaningful answers 😭 while this path might appear isolating and frustrating, make sure not to drown yourself in loneliness. don't compare yourself to others when you're meant to be on a whole different level! just focus on your own projects and development, and things will align the way they're meant to be!

PILE # 02 : SABRINA

oh, you're so incredibly charming<33 you smile and people just fall at your feet! they can't help but feel giddy and swoon at even a fraction of your attention... the power you hold, pile 2! you're a force to be reckoned with, i heard this very clearly... as a celebrity i see you being very determined to succeed. you have your eyes set on the prize and you refuse to back down. you're the type who built themselves from the ground up, and this is something to be proud of! your hard work paid off and everything you earned would be rightfully deserved.

people might have the tendency to underestimate you, though. they look at you and think you're harmless... but then you go and prove them wrong by blowing them away with your talent... you made them look like a damn fool for ever doubting you, that's for sure 😔</3 i love the energy of an underdog here, it makes people want to root for you!! when people first look at you, they might not expect you to be as talented as you are. so when you finally show them what you're made of, they're just absolutely dumbfounded that they didn't notice you earlier. i see you playing into this misconception and using it to your advantage, though! i just heard elle woods say: "what, like it's hard?" loveeee this

your fans would absolutely adore you, fanservice would be something that's very natural to you! i don't see you hating this either, you really enjoy casual interactions with people who support you. you'd be a very grounded celebrity, too!! you don't let the fame or the money get to your head, because you know where you started and how long it took you to get to the top. you don't lose yourself in the chaos or the hate or any fears... quite the opposite, actually!! you use it as an opportunity to get even stronger and wiser! love this attitude<3

channeled message based off of this energy:

this pile is very lucky because i'm seeing many (unexpected) blessings heading your way! your next era in life? sitting back comfortably while you watch your heart's desires unfold in front of you. i see a big manifestation coming in, your hard work finally paying off!! very abundant energy, i'm very excited for you<3 spirit wants you to know that you've earned these blessings, that you've come a long way from where you were before. this period of your life is really about thriving rather than surviving. very beautiful energy!! (i also heard that, if you're facing any issues, that they will resolve themselves. just trust your guides and watch how your problems disappear into thin air!)

PILE # 03 : LILY-ROSE

ohhh, you'd definitely be an enigma! people will love this about you, but it will also frustrate them. you have strong boundaries about what the public is allowed to know about you. (i'm sensing vibes of not having any big social media presence, being annoyed at interviewers when they ask intrusive questions about your personal life rather than the project you worked so hard on, no one knowing who you're dating, etc...) yet you're always invited (having front row seats, mind you) to all the big events. (your fans might receive scraps from you but... if they do get something, they absolutely devour it!! even in 2025 they wouldn't be able to shut up about that beautiful haute couture dress you wore in 2021 😭)

there's a sense of intrigue and mystery surrounding you, because no one knows a thing about you yet everyone is always captivated by you. i'm sensing siren/dark feminine type of energy. very seductive! you teasingly play things off with a shrug and a million dollar smile like "wouldn't you like to know?" you'll never reveal yourself to them because 1.) you loooove being seen as a mystery 2.) you find it absolutely hilarious to keep people guessing and 3.) they don't deserve this type of access to you.

people never know your next move and this is your power. i see people really admiring your talent (and knowledge)! you're the authentic celebrity where you're in it for the love of the art rather than the fame and the fortune (even if it's a nice bonus!). you're the type of celebrity that studies the history of whatever field you're in and are well versed in different genres, admiring and respecting many great figures who came before you. you don't care about what people think of you as long as you are satisfied with the outcome of your project. this is very mature and attractive energy!

channeled message based off of this energy:

you're hard to read, i won't lie to you 😭 if you've been working on setting boundaries i really see that this is something incredibly beneficial. you're comfortable in your own energy, and this is very seductive! if you have the tendency to be overly critical of yourself, i'm hearing spirit say that you might need to be less demanding and kinder towards your body. you have a tough outer shell, i don't think you're the type to easily open up to people. this is a good thing! just make sure that you aren't pushing people out who mean well. you can be vulnerable with the right people and have it be a safe experience!! you deserve to be taken care of (i'm feeling like i just want to pamper you) and experience the softness of life!!

PILE # 04 : SHAY

you'd definitely be your celebrity's favourite celebrity! you move in silence, but once you make a sound... boy, people are ready to drop everything in order to pay attention and listen! your fame isn't bombastic or over-the-top. it doesn't need to be, because people respect you. you command respect through your raw authenticity. you're not a manufactured doll who needs to put on a whole spiel in order to appear interesting. you don't need to do this because your talent speaks for itself. this is very potent energy!

what i'm picturing is a musician standing on stage with only a microphone and a guitar. you don't need a big show or any grand gestures to capture people's attention, they're willing to give it to you just because you're you. you might have striking features, i'm sensing there's a beauty about you that's just sooooo mesmerising. (i'm feeling like i want to get lost in your eyes... feeling a bit shy...)

people would absolutely root for you (i'm sensing the vibe of people being absolutely outraged if you happen to lose a grammy or an oscar or whatever prestigious award 😭 and it's not just your fandom, several different fandoms would be banding together to express their anger). this is simply because they know you're the best of the best. you worked hard for everything you achieved, you don't need scandals to keep your name relevant, and you always show up! this is what people love most about you, the fact that you always show up at the top of your game without any complaints<33 you paved the way for everyone behind you, too!

channeled message based off of this energy:

god, i wouldn't be surprised if this pile went through hell and back. i really see you coming back stronger every time something (or someone) tries to bring you down. nothing fazes you anymore, you just take it on the chin and move on. spirit is telling me that difficult times are about to end soon!! you will find peace and you will find comfort within yourself (and your environment). i'm hearing so clearly that you always got your own back, but spirit wants you to know that they got your back as well! you're born to succeed simply because of who you are. once you truly embody what you know you deserve, i see so many opportunities bringing you great abundance!! know that you don't have to fight so hard to get what you want, practice being in a state of receiving rather than chasing<33

[juney-blues]

when you're part of a group with structural power over another goup, you really do gotta just learn to say "i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant" whenever someone expresses frustration with you or people like you.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm not ready to shut up about Aveline and Carver--so, when you go see Aveline in Act 1, you can catch up with her a little bit and that's where this conversation can happen:

Aveline: "It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?" Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.

I wanted to see what she would say if Carver isn't in the party. Instead, she says this:

Aveline: Carver was there. I imagine he feels something similar. If he allows it.

......well, at least she didn't call him a tit?