#''xindi

[slavic-roots-western-mind]

Chinese musical instruments pt. 1

I was inspired by my research into the different types of Chinese opera, so I decided to write about the chinese musical instruments.

Usually, traditional chinese instruments are grouped into 8 categories, 八音 (bā yīn): metal, bamboo, wood, stone, silk, clay, gourd and skin so I'll try to group them accordingly.

Metal 金 (Jīn)

Bo 钹 (bó) This is a percussion type of cymbal, with the size varying on the subtype. This instrument is also used in some chinese operas, which makes it all the more interesting to hear.

Bianzhong 编钟 (biānzhōng) This is a set of bronze chime bells, arranged in a specific order with each bell having it's own two special pitches which are usually determined by the bell size. The structure is especially interesting, as all the bells are hung from a frame (typically wooden) from which they're played. Other countries also have similar instruments, such as Japan, Vietnam and Korea although their names vary and they may have their own specific features.

Luo 锣 (luó) Luo is actually a general name for a gong, which varies in size and pitch depending on its type. Depending on the size, luo can either be hung on a frame or if it's small enough it can be played in hand.

Yunluo 云锣 (yúnluó) Like the luo, these are also gongs, named cloud gongs. There are 10 small gongs in a frame with the same size but different thickness so that each gongs pitch would vary. There is a more modern version, which has over 20 gongs and is much larger in size.

Suona 唢呐 (suǒnà) The Suona is a double-reeded trumpet, with reed meaning a thin strip of material. As Suona is classified as a metal instrument, it's made from metal with the reed attached to it. It's actual origin is quite interesting, as some sources place the Suona all the way to the Jin dynasty (266-420), whereas some consider Suona's origin to be from outside of China.

Bamboo 竹 (Zhú)

Dizi 笛子(dízi) The Dizi is a Chinese flute, which has quite a lot of varieties, such as 梆笛 (Bāngdí). This flute is especially interesting as it's used in Chinese opera, Chinese folk music and also in Chinese orchestra. Depending on the region, different bamboo is used to create this instrument - Purple bamboo in the north and white in the southern regions, although other material can also be used, even jade.

Xiao 箫 (xiāo) This is a vertical flute, orginating from the Qiang people in ancient China. The material is usually bamboo, with black and purple bamboo considered to be the best type. There are also quite a few variations, such as the 北箫 (Běixiāo), 琴箫 (Qínxiāo) and 南箫 (Nánxiāo).

Paixiao 排箫 (páixiāo) The Paixiao is a type of a panflute, which has a noticeable difference from the western type, as the pipe holes are created via an angled cut or a notch.

Bili 筚篥 (bìlì) / 管 (guǎn) This is a double-reed pipe, which has a few names. Guan appears to be a general name for woodwind instruments, so if looking for this specific instrument, it should be searched using Bili. This instrument can be traced back to the Zhou dynasty, where it was used as a military instrument. Later it became a popular court and ritual instrument, but eventually lost it's court popularity. Instead, it's quite popular in folk music and in Peking Opera, especially for military scenes.

Xindi 新笛 (xīndí) The Xindi is a more modern type of Dizi (the name literally means a new flute), which first appeared in the 20th century. The xindi differentiates itself from the original dizi by it's additional 5 holes, allowing for lower tones which makes it quite important for the Chinese orchestra.

Wood 木 (Mù)

Muyu 木鱼 (mùyú) This is a wooden fish-shaped woodblock which is hit to create a beat during rituals, most commonly during Buddhist ceremonies, Muyu's name literally means a wooden fish, as it's origin stories are associated with fish, with one story claiming that a fish helped a monk but in turn asked him for a favour, which the monk promised to do but forgot. The fish became angry and splashed him into the water. The monk survived, but his notes were all ruined, which is why he made a wooden statue of the fish and beat it.

Yu 敔 (yǔ) On the topic of animals, this is a tiger-shaped hollow box with toothed edges on its back. Why a tiger? It may be because the tiger had a powerful association with strength and power, although I have yet to find a source confirming my theory.

Zhu 柷 (zhù) This is a wooden box that has an open middle, which is played by using a wooden stick to hit the inner bottom. This instrument is very rarely used nowadays, with the majority of Zhus being in museums and temples, but apparently they still remain in use in a few temples for ceremonies.

Paiban 拍板 (pāibǎn) The Paiban is clapper made of wooden or bamboo flat pieces. When it's played together with a drum, this combination is called a Guban ���板 (gǔbǎn), which is used quite often in various different music genres, such as Peking Opera, Yue Opera, Kunqu Opera and others.

[stra-tek]

The season 3 Star Trek: Enterprise makeup department was just full on fuck it, let's do Galaxy Quest

[star-trek-dumb-comics]

Ok so I finally watched Prodigy ! And it was surprisingly good. This is obviously a kids' show but I ended up being pretty invested in the story. The main character started as Ezra Bridger-ass annoying but he's grown on me. Genuinely I think this might be the best new trek show with Lower Decks lmao. It even got me caring about what happens to CHAKOTAY of all things !

Also it had GREAT alien rep omfg there were so few humans I LOVE THIS SHIT !!! especially UFP founding members rep ahhhhh !!!!!!!!!! I've been wanting this for YEARS they did it for me

[pissfaggit]

i see your Ds9 A plot vs B plot whiplash and raise you Enterprise opening credits whiplash

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: T’Pol

By Ames

We’re continuing through our Enterprise character spotlights with a much more likeable character than last time: the ship’s resident Vulcan, T’Pol! And though she starts out mostly as eye candy for the 10-year-old boys watching (kinda like Seven of Nine), the sub commander really grows into something more than just a cat-suited female (also kinda like Seven of Nine!). Over the four seasons of the show, Jolene Blalock really nails the “Vulcan nuance,” as we’ve dubbed it, and becomes a character greater than the sum of her voluptuous parts.

She may spend most of the series making suggestions that go unheeded, bearing the brunt of Archer’s xenophobia against Vulcans, and being exploited for the sake of the viewers to ogle her in the decon room or performing Vulcan neuropressure, but the hosts of A Star to Steer Her By really grew to appreciate T’Pol’s presence. The Vulcan Science Directorate has determined you should read on below and listen to this week’s podcast episode (tractor beam to 59:08) for more on our logical first officer!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

I’m the sanest one here! After T’Pol warns everyone not to go down to the planet until they’ve scanned it (amateurs!) in “Strange New World,” everyone on the away mission inevitably goes crazy on pollen. But she keeps her wits about her and manages to not get shot by a batshit hallucinating Trip. Instead, she concocts a clever plan with Hoshi to survive the storm and save everyone.

Tractor beam > grapplers While Archer is racial profiling the Vulcan crew of the Ti’Mur all over the place in “Breaking the Ice” and assuming they’re there to spy on the Enterprise, T’Pol is busy keeping rational and logical, as is her wont. She eventually convinces Archer to swallow his pride and ask them for help when they need the use of Vulcan tractor beams over their miniscule grapplers, which suuuuck.

You have the power to control the waves We really don’t get enough scenes between Hoshi and T’Pol, but when we do, they’re always lovely together. When Hoshi is stressing out while on the Klingon ship in “Sleeping Dogs,” our Vulcan friend doesn’t hesitate to share some meditation techniques with her. And in “Vox Sola,” we see more of T’Pol’s awkward way of showing affection for the ship’s cunning linguist.

My mind is my mind, my thoughts are my thoughts There’s a lot of negative things we can say about “Fusion” (and we will in just a moment, so don’t despair), but none of those things can be laid at the feet of T’Pol, who’s the only person acting on her behalf for most of the episode. I shouldn’t have to say it is good for women to stand up for themselves because “no means no,” but this is the world we live in.

The Science Vulcan Directorate has determined that time travel is not fair T’Pol’s in a rough spot again in “Shockwave” when the Suliban have taken over the ship in Archer’s absence. They interrogate the poor woman for a while, and she holds her own somehow, and clings to her logic that time travel should absolutely be impossible. And after torture, she’s able to jump into the crew’s plans to re-commandeer the ship!

As usual, Vulcans are immune to the anomaly of the week In typical Vulcan fashion, T’Pol does not suffer the obsessiveness that plagues all the other crew members when they study a trinary black hole system in “Singularity.” So it’s up to her to rescue the rest of the characters from themselves (or from Phlox, in the case of Mayweather) by knocking everyone except Archer out cold and saving the day!

An AIDS allegory a few decades too late While a lot of “Stigma” doesn’t hold up today because its AIDS allegory feels like too little too late, everything T’Pol stands for in this episode rings true. Even while every man on the show is telling her what’s best for her, she firmly states that anyone with Pa’nar syndrome should be treated as justly as she is as someone who was forced into a nonconsensual mindmeld.

We can stop the film if it’s disturbing your conversation I do find it annoying every time Archer forces T’Pol to do things outside her comfort zone just because she’s Vulcan, but this little moment is cute. It might just be because of how damn obnoxious we find Phlox sometimes, but watching her tell that Denobulan sycophant to shut up during a movie in “Horizon” was all of us in that moment. Phlox, Shut Up.

Every day is exactly the same Even though it’s kind of an alternate timeline, the T’Pol that we see in “Twilight” does some very commendable stuff. Sure, there’s taking command of the ship when Archer is incapacitated, but there’s also resigning that commission to take the most thankless job there is: taking care of memory-less Archer for years on end and explaining life to him over and over.

There’s a human expression: You gotta give ‘em that hawk tuah We get another alternate T’Pol in “E²” and she’s just as compelling as “Twilight” T’Pol. The older, wiser T’Pol is astute enough to see the flaws in her son Lorian’s crazy plan and provide her younger self a better, just as crazy plan. Add that to the literal self-reflection she shares about getting over her trellium addiction and learning to love Trip and it’s all great stuff!

Blood is thicker than plomeek soup This is one of those complicated episodes, so you’re going to see “Home” on both lists, but let’s start with the good. We’ve got to respect T’Pol a bit for sucking it up and marrying Koss even though they’d called the engagement off (not to mention that she has a thing for Trip). But it was to save her mother’s reputation and get her reinstated at the Academy, so that’s nice of her.

Her name is Elizabeth We don’t get a lot of T’Pol with baby Elizabeth in “Demons” and “Terra Prime” but what we do get is heartbreaking. We’ve really got to give credit to Blalock and Trinneer for some beautiful acting when a doomed Human-Vulcan infant is thrown in the mix, especially in their final scene of “Terra Prime,” which is utterly devastating.

—

Worst moments

You were only there for three days and you couldn’t restrain yourself While Vulcans throughout Enterprise are typically bitchy and blunt, it seems a bit illogical how T’Pol jumps to the conclusion that Trip must have acted ungentlemanly during the course of “Unexpected,” resulting in his getting pregnant. This before he’s been able to tell a word of his own story. That’s just rude, T’Pol. Get all the facts first, then make your judgement.

Don’t blame the victim We’re not victim blaming T’Pol for what happened to her in “Fusion.” No, we’re blaming the writers, who did a bad bad thing in this episode that we largely loathed. For some reason in Trek, the writers treat it like a requirement for the sexy lady character to get mind-assaulted, and to treat it as sexually as possible, and we’ve been fed up with that since Troi and Seven.

Oo-mox always makes the list! I will always put oo-mox on the bad list, because too often it feels like sexual degradation. Lwaxana does it. Crusher does it. Jadzia does it. And in this parade of women performing mild sexually-implicit acts on Ferengi, we see T’Pol perform oo-mox on Krem in “Acquisition.” It’s just disgusting how the writers keep falling back on making this gross joke over and over.

The spy who neck-pinched me We learn in “The Seventh” that T’Pol was an operative for the Ministry of Security, which is idiotic enough on its own. She also sides with Archer on what to do with Menos, which is never a good idea, after the resurfacing of some wiped memories of all the messed up shit she did. Worst of all, the writers forget about her spy training and foist it off on Reed being in Section Thirty-fucking-one, but we’ll cover that later!

Pon farr also always makes the list Almost as much as I dislike oo-mox, I dislike pon farr. We already covered this in “Blood Fever”! It’s yet another device to sneak sexiness into episodes, but it is in no way consensual. Blame pon farr all you want, but for all of “Bounty,” we’re subjugated to watching T’Pol run around in her underwear trying to rape Phlox just to titillate the teenaged boys, and that’s disgusting.

I don’t believe it, now my pants are chafing me Like our last Enterprise spotlight, most of the bad moments are coming from season 3. This is when we’re subjected to countless instances of T’Pol engaging in Vulcan neuropressure with Trip, which is NOT her job. Relenting to Phlox and doing this was bad enough, but did she really have to trick Trip into it in “The Xindi”? And why did she HAVE to be topless for it?

Green-blooded with envy We promised you last time lots more moments from “Harbinger,” so here we go. Vulcans wouldn’t typically find it illogical to be jealous of other people, but that doesn’t stop T’Pol from getting all jealous when Trip starts hanging out with Amanda Cole. It makes her look like a petty, whiny teenager all episode long. Green is apparently not a good color on you, T’Pol.

I just don’t like being compared to a lab rat Oh look, more examples from “Harbinger.” The Tri’Pol shippers get their moment when the two of them hook up, and who can blame them? But having T’Pol pull the rug out from under Trip the morning after is just cruel and tactless. She claims (if you can believe her) that she was just curious what intercourse with a human was like, as if she were just checking it off a list. Next!

I’m sorry, Captain, I can’t obey that order Another episode that ranks among some of the worst of Enterprise is “Hatchery.” Everyone except Archer is perfectly content to let the Insectoid babies die, and T’Pol disobeys when captain orders the crew to help save them. She doesn’t even know the captain is compromised yet! She just doesn’t think he’s committing enough war crimes, evidently, and mutinies about it!

Big green monkey, everyone’s a junkie Again, no victim blaming here; addiction is a serious condition, and kudos to T’Pol for eventually getting help from Phlox. But. The writers fail T’Pol’s logical character in making her a trellium-D junkie, as is revealed in “Damage.” You want to explore an addiction plot? Fine, then make it make sense for her character. Have her seek to build her immunity. Have it be to relieve pain from turning zombie in “Impulse.” Chasing the dragon doesn’t work for a Vulcan.

You brought me sixteen light years just to watch you get married to someone you barely know A second ago, we were giving T’Pol credit for marrying Koss to help her mother unsully her reputation (which was neither of their faults to begin with, mind you) in “Home,” but it’s also just plain sad to watch her have to acquiesce to being blackmailed into a marriage she does not wish to be in. And to have to treat Trip like he’s dog meat is also painful to watch! Tri’Pol shippers, unite!

You’re wondering if I’ve been having any daydreams about you? Speaking of the Tri’Pollers, they get a smorgasbord of Trip-T’Pol material in “Bound,” most of it juvenile as hell. Ever since they got together in “Harbinger,” T’Pol has been dancing around this “do you like me” bullshit like a teenager (or worse, like Shakaar in “Crossfire”) and it gets so frustrating. Why can’t the Vulcan just be upfront about this stuff? Why is she in high school?

—

It is only logical to end the blogpost here. Make sure you’re following along as we keep the Tri’Pol ship chugging along next week, when our spotlight swings to everyone’s favorite Floridian! Also keep watching along with our watchalong of Discovery over on the SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, do some Vulcan neuropressure with us over on Facebook, and remember to wear a hat whenever gallivanting around in the past!

[graff-aganda]

observer effect new favourite enterprise episode like genuinely

[agent-troi]

watching star trek enterprise and spotted one of the aliens from blink of an eye!!

[sergeant-sassy]

The looks they give each other... >.> Erend's gonna be jealous :3

Aloy in Tenakth armor, because why not <3 (I think the colors work amazingly with her hair and complexion.)

[spockvarietyhour]

Dropping NX-01 off at soccer practice, "Zero Hour"

[cubtales]

modern au argenxi where i make him look up my contact information via phonebook and after eight xin's later he actually finds me ♡

[convenient-plot-device]

*Minor here means a combination of "not well-known" and "not focused on by the show" - as well as "unpopular" because I didn't want to have one poll and skew the votes by having Klingons next to the Suliban.

(I am defining "enemy species" here as a species that frequently plays/played the role of villain, specifically within the context of behaving aggressively toward the main characters/the Federation as a unit. This is why the Orions are not on here; they don't go to war with the Federation or anything, it's just individual members of the species being jerks/doing various shady dealings for the Syndicate. Even if a species later becomes allied with the Federation, they are still included here (hence the Xindi).)

[glorytoad]

[userminghao]

[230721] Follow to Seoul D1

xindi 🐸 don't edit/crop logo.

[whirligig-girl]

Aquatic Starfleet!

Lieutenant Axan'Sol the Xindi-Aquatic, Ensign Eaurp Guz the Mellanoid Slimegirl, Lt. J.G. Kimolu the Beluga Whale, and Ensign Nerissa the Mermaid are getting into trouble in the internal ocean of an icy moon.

[weerd1]

ENT Rewatch Starlog, 18 March, 2024: Episode 3.16 “Doctor’s Orders”

Phlox and Porthos walk through an apparently empty NX-01, stopping to visit Captain Archer who lies asleep with a device on his forehead.

Flash back to a few days before and there is an area of spatial anomaly brought on by the spheres between them and Azati Prime. It would add a lot of time to go around, and if they go through damage the human minds. Phlox suggests that he would not be affected. He’ll put all the human crew into a mental stasis while Enterprise crosses the area of space. 

At first, Phlox is having a fine time, getting caught up on writing to friends, playing with Porthos, occasionally feeding his pets in the nude. But while watching a film, he hears something moving.

Tracking it through the ship he ends up in the shuttlebay, and indeed finds T’Pol—also not sedated—who doesn’t know what he’s hearing. The incidents get worse, and Phlox sees Xindi insectoids on board. T’Pol finds nothing, and suspects Phlox is having some sort of breakdown, possibly based on loneliness considering how social Denobulans are. He insists on checking the ship with a phase pistol, and upon almost blasting Porthos, begins to realize that maybe she is correct. He scans and finds that in fact there is a non-lethal, but potentially hallucinogenic effect in his brain. 

He prepares to put himself under and leave T’Pol in charge since they will be through the region of space in six hours, but she begins to panic, also suffering from the anomaly. Worse, the area has expanded faster than anticipated, and though Tucker said they shouldn’t, the ship will have to warp to escape. Phlox and T’Pol bumble through with her seemingly useless.

They do escape however, and once free, Phlox’s mind is restored. He wakes up Archer, and before going on to the crew escorts T’Pol to her quarters. There he finds the Vulcan sedated; the T’Pol he has been talking to has also been a hallucination. 

A fun episode that makes you feel like it’s falling into the helpless T’Pol trope, but is saved in the reveal that she couldn’t help because she isn’t real.  It does turn out to be a nice exploration of Phlox’s character and a good way to do a bottle show while still getting the overall arc to move along. I do wonder though is Phlox hallucinates almost shooting Porthos; the Beagle forgives him pretty quickly.

Nice callbacks as well to the earlier episode “Dear Doctor” with Phlox’s friend Dr. Lucas getting a letter. We’ll of course get to meet the good doctor in Season 4 during the Augments story arc. 

Also a fun line when Phlox suspects he’s hearing things because the week prior, Trip showed him “The Exorcist.” 

Next Voyage: Archer has to determine whether all his eggs go in one basket after Enterprise finds a Xindi Insectoid “Hatchery.”

(Images taken from the main website for @trekcore; I am happy to remove the images if asked.)

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Phlox

By Ames

For many Enterprise fans, Phlox is a highlight. As a Denobulan, he shines through the show as someone with a different perspective than what the early-days astronauts that serve with him on the crew can often comprehend. He has different medical practices than the audience is accustomed to seeing on Star Trek and his menagerie of animals are a lot of fun. But for your A Star to Steer Her By hosts, Phlox might be just a rung above Archer as characters we just don’t have the taste for.

“Offputting” is the sentiment that came up most frequently regarding how we found the dear doctor. When he wasn’t hiding behind his unique culture to justify his obnoxiousness and tactlessness, he could be medically inept, ethically problematic, and downright offensive. This is going to another of those blogposts that swings wildly between the good and bad moments, perhaps like Rom’s did. So grab someone else’s celery, your tongue scraper, and your own toenail clippings to prepare to read on below and listen to this week’s diatribe on the podcast (shuffle over to timestamp 42:20). It’s time to feed the bat.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Let’s just see where it goes Phlox, for better or for worse, serves as Trek’s most prominent representation of a person in a healthy polyamorous relationship. We learn in “Dear Doctor” that he has three wives, who each have two other husbands, and we have to applaud the eponymous dear doctor when he is fully honest and transparent about his romantic situation with a totally game Crewman Cutler.

Duck Season! Rabbit Season! A few episodes after Phlox condemns an alien race to death (more on that in the Worst Moments list), Phlox evidently changes his mind on interfering with the evolution of sentient species in “Rogue Planet.” And good thing too, because he’s able to create a masking agent that saves the wraiths from being brutally killed by those pesky hunters.

The one with the waggly tail Though there’s a lot to dislike about “A Night in Sickbay,” you’ve got to give some credit to Phlox for going above and beyond in helping to cure Porthos of the disease he picked up on the Kreetassans’ planet. The doctor doesn’t even understand why someone would care enough to invest energy in curing a simple animal, but he still pulls out all the stops in getting the puppy on his four feet.

Doctor-patient confidentiality I’ve got to admit that I totally expected Phlox to blab to the Vulcans onboard in “Stigma” that T’Pol has Pa’nar syndrome and was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t (it was that loose-tongued Yuris who totally spills the beans!). Granted, his attempt to weasel information out of the Vulcans failed laughably, but Phlox respects his patients’ privacy. This time, at least…

Antaran Lives Matter First off, there were better ways to have written an episode like “The Breach,” because Phlox doesn’t develop at all as a character during it. It turns out all his growth was done years ago and he just tells us about it. But hey, at least it’s nice to know that there are anti-racist Denobulans out there who can treat an Antaran like Hudak like a person despite societal racism!

I have no intention of turning into one of those cybernetic creatures Not only does Phlox effectively cure being assimilated into a Borg in “Regeneration” (someone inform Janeway!), but he also treats his infection with the seriousness it deserves. When Hoshi offers to sit with him, he warns her away in case he suddenly turns. He even concocts a neural toxin to kill him in case his cure doesn’t work, all to make sure the Borginess doesn’t spread.

It’s as if it never existed at all I’ve tried to consciously not to include mere instances that were literally Phlox doing his job as a physician, but this one’s worth mentioning. Maybe it’s just because I like the episode “Twilight,” but it’s also commendable to see Phlox dedicate himself so selflessly to curing Archer’s amnesia in such a very clever way, and it ends up resetting the timeline, so everyone wins!

I don’t just remember Trip’s childhood, I remember mine We’ll get to all the horrible things Phlox does in “Similitude” in a second, but for the moment, let’s just appreciate that the doctor’s rapport with Sim as he grew up was very sweet. It was probably aided by the fact that the mimetic simbiot grew up in three days, so parenting couldn’t have been very hard, but we got the impression that Phlox is indeed a proud papa.

Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) I’d give Phlox more credit for surviving the anomaly and getting the ship through safely while the crew was all comatose in “Doctor’s Orders” if it weren’t just a carbon copy of “One” with Phlox swapped for Seven of Nine. But if you forget that all other Star Trek exists and view this in a vacuum, it’s a good episode for Phlox! And he takes great care of Porthos!

This is between you and your doctor One more example of Phlox executing doctor-patient confidentiality, which should be a low bar for a physician to achieve and you’ll see why I’m bringing that up when you get to the Worst Moments list. But he definitely performs in accordance with medical ethics in “Damage” when T’Pol comes to him because of her trellium-d addiction and he helps her without blabbing!

No wonder you erase memories. Your behavior is appalling. Phlox tries his darnedest all through “Observer Effect” to save Trip and Hoshi (without the use of Lyssarrian desert larvae even!) when we all know it’s a fool’s errand. But his best moment here comes when he meets the Organians who are testing humanity and he absolutely cusses them out for the immoral bullshit they are engaging in! You get ‘em, doc!

I’m certain there are easier ways for you to recruit a new lab assistant Probably the best I’ve personally seen Phlox comes way toward the end of the series in “Affliction” and “Divergence.” When captured by Klingons and forced to create augment Klingons, Phlox initially stands his ground and would rather die than perfect augments. But then he works with Dr. Antaak to trick General K’Vagh into curing their admittedly idiotic augment virus instead!

—

Worst moments

Have you smelled Ensign Socorro after she exercises? One of the earliest impressions we get of Phlox gives him a creeper reputation, and that’s in “Fight or Flight” when he’s peeping on Crewmen Bennett and Haynem, assuming that they intend to mate, and pondering if they’d let him watch. So right after the pilot, he’s already on my bad side as some kind of tactless pervert. Oh and he also sniffs the crew. Red flag!

Grand Theft Celery This one’s become a sort of running gag on the podcast, but it’s also another example of Phlox rubbing us the wrong way. This man is a serial celery thief. For some obstreperous reason, he finds it socially acceptable to steal food off of other people’s plates, as we see in “The Andorian Incident.” If you’re thinking he just doesn’t know human customs yet, well, he does it again in “Shadows of P’Jem”!

Would you care to recite the Invocation of Renewal with us? This one’s my bias seeping through, but there’s something squicky about watching Phlox lead someone else’s culture in their invocation in “Cold Front.” It could all have been fixed with a word swap! The pilgrim leader doesn’t ask Phlox to “lead” their prayer; he says “recite with us.” And yet Phlox is presumptuous enough to make it all about him and start narrating on his own.

That’s not how it works... that’s not how any of this works! All these examples have been tenuous at best so far, but here’s undoubtedly the worst thing Phlox ever does. The ethics displayed in “Dear Doctor” are just atrocious, as Phlox refuses to help cure the Valakians of their disease even though he’s already solved it and even though the Prime Directive doesn’t even exist yet. But worse than genocide through inaction and then patting himself on the back for it is how Phlox justifies it to Archer with a definition of evolution that is an affront to science. I could never forgive Phlox after this episode for this wrongheadedness alone.

Eye of newt, wool of bat, and toenails of Phlox While we can still be gracious to Phlox for saving Porthos in “A Night in Sickbay,” for the entire rest of that episode he is utterly insufferable. Is he this obnoxious when he’s got a sapient patient in sickbay? Why can’t he loudly clip his toes or scrape his tongue or chase the bat around in his own quarters when Archer is trying to sleep? And then to suggest to the captain that he’s got a thing for T’Pol, as if she doesn’t get it from every angle already. Shut! Up! Phlox!

Has she offered to give you a rose petal bath? You know how we were giving Phlox credit for a normalized portrayal of polygamy in “Dear Doctor”? Well all that goes out the window in “Stigma” when his wife Feezal sets her sights on Trip. Phlox creepily tries to push Trip into banging his wife, as if being poly were now mandatory, even though it’s obvious that her constant sexual assault is making him uncomfortable.

Let’s all go to the lobby I get it, pally, that you don’t have movies on your home planet, but when you’re watching something for movie night, do you see anyone else talking incessantly through the flick? Read the room, jerkbag. We see in “Horizon” that he just can’t shut his damn mouth while watching a movie with a bunch of crewmates who are trying to enjoy the show and T’Pol has to shush him!

Sue this man for malpractice By season three, we’ve stopped using the decon chamber as a peepshow and need to get our jollies somewhere else, so Phlox decides to totally lie to Tucker, give him a placebo instead of the drugs he prescribed, and then force T’Pol to practice Vulcan neuropressure on Trip (which is NOT her job) in “The Xindi,” all so the fanboys can wank to Jolene Blalock with her top off some more. It’s offensive and juvenile and sexist and I blame Phlox for all of it.

Soylent green is Sim! While we were a little harsh on Janeway for how she treated Tuvix, his existence came about through an accident. But Phlox creating Sim in “Similitude” was on purpose and it’s morally all over the place. Not only does he opt to create sapient life just to harvest his organs, but he specifically omits telling Archer that creating simbiots with Lyssarrian larvae is banned AND that there might be a way to extend Sim’s lifespan, which is still lying, dude!

Her body, Phlox’s choice So we gave Phlox credit above for not outing T’Pol’s Pa’nar syndrome or trellium-d addiction at various points in the series, but here’s an example of him just bypassing doctor-patient confidentiality entirely. In “Chosen Realm,” he treats Indava’s request for an abortion with surprising respect, especially for the time, but then he goes and tattles to Archer right after! Not cool.

A mind is a terrible thing to lose While the whole deception gambit in “Stratagem” made the Archer bad list with much gusto, we’ve got to ream Phlox out a little bit for it too. Not only did he perform the memory wipe (those things are always questionable in their ethics!), but it was all his idea in the first place! These men are supposed to be the heroes of the show and they’re messing with Degra’s brain!

I can’t blame those men for the way they reacted The writers missed a trick in handling Phlox’s attack by racists in “Home.” The yokels who start the bar brawl are just plain xenophobes. And yet after the show’s 9/11 season, Phlox outright states that it’s okay to racially profile people because of the circumstances. Uh, no, it’s not. And what a terrible excuse to justify racism in the early 2000s. Unpuff your stupid face and tell us these people are assholes because they are.

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What are we missing? So many people claim Phlox is their favorite Enterprise character, but we’re just not seeing it through the selfishness and terrible definition of evolution. But he’s also the last of the more major characters, so come back next week to watch us struggle to come up with things the sidelined main cast even did. You can also keep following along with our rewatch of Discovery over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, have a succulent Chinese meal with us over on Facebook or Bluesky, and unhand my celery, you miscreant!