#''as one of the owners'' is crucial here because that allows him to play with practically no salary

[theflyingfeeling]

I would like to thank that one band and that one hockey player for single-handedly giving me reasons to keep going when I had 'cry + feel pathetic + hate yourself' scheduled on my calendar from this day forward until the end of everything

[lilyandthegenshinbrainrot]

Leyline Bard Chapter 4 Scene Notes:

However the case that they are here, at least it has allowed them to see the sky in its marvelous glory. They focused their entire being onto the sight, heart and mind slowing as they watched the sunset over the horizon. This is what they fought for. They strengthen their resolve, just in case. “Very well, we’ll speak with Miss Jean Gunnhildr, but not yet.” Cecil turns to Venti, eyes icy, daring him to disagree. “I think that I have been very patient thus far, but now it’s time that I’ve been properly told what exactly has happened to Mondstadt since I died. Moreso, how does the Wind become a god?” How could you? Of the thousands of breezes, why you?  Venti goes still, and not for the first time, Cecil thinks that he looks tired. They feel tired. “Of course, beloved.”

This moment is so important to me, that I feel it's important to break it down publicly with all the notes that go into it. Yknow, before I actually finish writing chapter four, so I guess this is also a sneak peek?

> Nameless Bard has blue eyes in canon, and I call Cecil's icy in this exchange. This is crucially intentional, because of the context of Mondstadt.

Icy eyes are cold. Ice in Mondstadt in unnatural, unrelenting, dangerous, and has always been either personally removed by Barbatos or divinely forced into the nation by Celestia.

Ice in Mondstadt is a sign of divine rage, grief, and power.

Cecil's eyes are icy as they question Venti.

> "I think that I have been very patient thus far,"

This is the culmination of everything that has been building for the past 6k of Cecil being in Mondstadt. This is the anxiety and hesitance and confusion and frustration, coming together as they finally stop and going,

"I have been very understanding and I have allowed Dvalin to dodge my questions, I have allowed you to try your thing. It's my turn now. Explain to me what you are scared to say.”

This is where the fond exasperation is strained into genuine displeasure at the avoidance, because you may notice that they haven't gotten satisfactory answers from either Dvalin or Venti just yet. They are given partial answers or answers to questions that they didn't ask.

But, most importantly, it's Cecil and Venti, not Amos and Decarabian, and so, when they push, Venti relents. 

"Of course, beloved."

And that is also important to Venti's characterization here. Because one thing about Venti is that he is folding immediately. Cecil would never tell him to jump, but Venti is still asking "how high?"

> See: I'm Your Man by Mitski

Venti seeks out mortal companions most of all, as such, the way that I envision the way that he loves is very much the adoration that a young dog will have for their older owner. Specifically because being around the Bard feels like he has been sent back several centuries, when he was still new and naive.

"I miss the days you had the strength to run with me, I miss the days we could play, but you are tired and I love you, I'll sit at your feet until you are strong again."

The Wind returns home, always.

[edward-trongco]

THE IMPORTANCE OF TANK FILTER IN MAINTAINING THE HEALTH OF AQUATIC LIVES AND PRESENCE OF GOOD BACTERIA INSIDE THE AQUARIUM

Aquarium filters are vital components for maintaining the health and well-being of aquatic pets, playing a crucial role in creating and sustaining a balanced ecosystem within the tank. For aquarium owners, understanding the importance of filters can enhance their ability to provide a thriving environment for their aquatic companions.

One of the primary functions of an aquarium filter is to maintain water quality. In a closed aquatic environment, harmful substances such as ammonia, nitrites, and nitrates can accumulate due to fish waste, uneaten food, and decaying organic matter. If left unchecked, these toxic compounds can have detrimental effects on fish health, leading to stress and even death. Filters actively remove these harmful substances, helping to ensure that the water remains safe for its inhabitants.

In addition to removing harmful chemicals, filters also play a vital role in aerating the water. Many filters are designed to increase oxygen exchange in the tank, which is essential for the survival of fish and other aquatic organisms. Adequate oxygen levels are necessary for respiration and overall health, allowing aquatic pets to thrive.

Another significant benefit of aquarium filters is their ability to support the growth of beneficial bacteria. These microorganisms play a critical role in breaking down waste products through the nitrogen cycle, converting harmful ammonia into less toxic substances. By fostering a balanced nitrogen cycle, filters help maintain a stable environment that is crucial for the well-being of fish and other aquatic life.

Now here's Jan Lloyd Tan, a fish enthusiast that keeps various species of fishes as a hobby, I asked him a series of questions regarding the importance of having a tank filter in his aquarium and what frustrations he experiences when filters are absent or malfunctioning.

Customer Job

"How important is it for you to have a reliable filtration system in place for your aquarium?"

He answered, "It's extremely important because a reliable filtration system ensures clean water and keeps my fish healthy by maintaining the right balance in the tank."

Pains

"What specific challenges do you encounter when using your aquarium filter?"

He stated that, "The main challenge I face is frequent clogging, which slows down water flow and forces me to clean the filter more often than I'd like."

Gains

"What benefits do you expect to experience if you use biological pebbles to your current filtration system?"

He replied, "I would feel more confident knowing that biological pebbles support the natural balance in my aquarium, providing a healthier environment for my fish."

Conclusion

In conclusion, aquarium hobbyists like Tan value reliable, low-maintenance filtration systems that promote a healthy aquatic environment. Addressing the pain points of frequent clogging and offering biological filtration could significantly improve their experience.

[dog-braces]

Why Knee Braces for Dogs Aren’t Just for Recovery

It’s a chilly morning, and Max, a spirited Golden Retriever, is racing around the backyard with his favorite squeaky toy. He leaps and bounds effortlessly, his energy seemingly boundless. But just a few months ago, things were very different. Max had undergone knee surgery after a torn ACL, and his recovery seemed uncertain. But his owner, Sarah, knew she had to do something to support him beyond the recovery process. That’s when she decided to invest in a dog knee brace. Today, Max’s joyful antics aren’t just thanks to surgery but because of the lasting benefits of wearing that brace every day.

Knee braces for dogs aren’t just for recovery—they’re an essential tool for maintaining long-term joint health and preventing further injury. Here’s why these braces should be part of your dog’s regular routine, even after healing from surgery.

Preventative Protection for Active Dogs

A dog knee brace isn’t only a post-surgery accessory; it’s a proactive solution to keep your dog’s knees in top shape. High-energy breeds or dogs with a tendency to overexert themselves, like Max, can experience wear and tear on their knees. Whether they’re jumping to catch a frisbee or running to greet you at the door, these activities can cause strain on their ligaments and joints. According to the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA), one in five dogs will experience joint issues in their lifetime, with knee problems being among the most common.

Knee braces help by offering additional stability and reducing stress on the knee joint. This support helps prevent injuries before they occur, especially in active dogs or those predisposed to conditions like osteoarthritis. In fact, using a knee brace for dogs can even extend the time before more invasive treatments, like surgery, are needed.

Sustaining Mobility in Senior Dogs

As dogs age, their mobility tends to decrease. Senior dogs, like elderly humans, often struggle with arthritis and joint pain, especially in the knees. A dog knee brace can provide much-needed relief by reducing discomfort during daily activities. According to a study published by the National Institutes of Health, approximately 20% of senior dogs suffer from arthritis, with knee joints being particularly vulnerable.

Using a knee brace can allow older dogs to maintain their independence and continue walking, climbing stairs, and playing with their owners. This kind of support can significantly improve the quality of life for dogs who would otherwise be limited by pain or stiffness.

Enhancing Post-Surgery Support and Reducing the Risk of Re-injury

While knee braces for dogs are essential during the recovery phase, they also play a crucial role in preventing re-injury. After surgery, dogs often return to their normal activities too soon, putting strain on their healing joints. A dog brace helps restrict excessive movement and promotes proper healing by limiting overexertion.

According to a study from the Journal of Veterinary Surgery, 10-20% of dogs that undergo ACL surgery experience a second injury within the first year of recovery. A knee brace for dogs offers an extra layer of protection and peace of mind during this critical time.

Support for Dogs with Pre-existing Conditions

Not all knee issues require surgery, but many dogs suffer from chronic conditions like luxating patellas, a common knee problem, especially in small breeds. In fact, about 7% of small breed dogs suffer from this condition. A knee brace can help manage these conditions by stabilizing the knee and reducing the pain associated with misaligned kneecaps.

In these cases, a dog knee brace acts as a non-invasive way to manage the condition and improve the dog’s daily comfort without resorting to surgery or medications.

Conclusion

Knee braces for dogs are not just a recovery tool; they’re an essential part of maintaining joint health and enhancing the overall quality of life. Whether your dog is recovering from surgery, dealing with arthritis, or simply needs extra support for an active lifestyle, a dog knee brace can make all the difference. Don’t wait for an injury to happen—be proactive in protecting your furry friend’s knees, and keep them moving happily for years to come.

Sources:

American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) - www.avma.org

National Institutes of Health (NIH) - www.nih.gov

Journal of Veterinary Surgery - www.journals.elsevier.com

[huntmark]

Why Every Gun Dog Owner Needs a Waterfowl Retriever Training Dummy

As a gun dog owner, you know that having a well-trained hunting companion is crucial for success in the field. But have you considered the importance of incorporating waterfowl retriever training into your dog's regimen? A reliable and proficient retriever can make all the difference when it comes to retrieving ducks and geese from bodies of water, making a waterfowl retriever training dummy an essential tool for any serious hunter. In this post, we'll explore why every gun dog owner needs to invest in one of these game-changing pieces of equipment.

What is a Waterfowl Retriever Training Dummy?

A waterfowl retriever training dummy is a great tool for teaching your dog to retrieve. It is a realistic looking dummy that you can use to teach your dog to fetch, carry, and return game birds. The best part about using a training dummy is that it is safe for your dog to play with and will not hurt them if they bite it. You can also use the dummy to teach your dog proper retrieving techniques so that they will be able to retrieve game birds safely and effectively when you take them hunting.

Advantages of Using a Training Dummy

There are many advantages to using a training dummy for your gun dog. First, it allows you to introduce your dog to the concept of retrieving without having to use live birds. This is important because it allows you to teach your dog the proper way to retrieve without them becoming scared or anxious about birds. Additionally, dummies are much less expensive than live birds, so you can save money while still providing your dog with quality training. Finally, dummies are also great for practicing different types of retrieves (such as blind retrieves) that would be difficult to do with live birds. Overall, using a training dummy is a great way to provide your gun dog with the retrieving skills they need without having to use live birds.

How to Use a Waterfowl Retriever Training Dummy

If you have a gun dog, chances are you've thought about getting a waterfowl retriever training dummy. After all, what better way to teach your dog to retrieve than with a toy that looks and feels like a real duck?

Here's how to use a waterfowl retriever training dummy:

1. Start by teaching your dog the basic commands of sit, stay, and come. This will ensure that your dog is well-behaved and responsive to your commands before you start using the dummy.

2. Once your dog is obedience trained, introduce the dummy by showing it to your dog and letting him smell it. Let him get used to the sight and smell of it before asking him to do anything with it.

3. The next step is to get your dog interested in the dummy by playing fetch with it or tugging on it with a rope. Make sure that you praise your dog enthusiastically when he shows interest in the dummy.

4. When your dog is comfortable with the dummy, it's time to start working on retrieval. Begin by teaching your dog to pick up the dummy and bring it back to you. If he drops it along the way, simply pick it up and give it back to him again. With patience and practice, your dog will eventually learn to retrieve the dummy all the way back to you.

Tips for Training Your Gun Dog with a Waterfowl Retriever Training Dummy

If you own a gun dog, chances are you've thought about using a waterfowl retriever training dummy to help with their training. Here are some tips to help you get the most out of using a dummy for your gun dog's training:

1. Start with basic obedience commands and work up to more complex retrieving commands. This will help your gun dog understand what is expected of them when they are working with a dummy.

2. Use a variety of dummies, including different sizes, weights, and materials. This will help keep your gun dog's interest in the training and prevent boredom.

3. Be sure to praise your gun dog frequently during training sessions. This positive reinforcement will encourage them to continue working hard.

4. Be patient when training with a dummy. Dogs learn at their own pace, so don't expect them to master the commands overnight. Just keep working at it and eventually they'll get it!

Conclusion

Waterfowl retriever training dummies are an essential tool for gun dog owners. Not only do they help train your pup to retrieve birds, but they can also be used to condition them for the hunt and prepare them for hunting season. They are easy to use, durable, and come in a variety of sizes so that you can customize your pup's training experience. Investing in a quality waterfowl dummy is one of the best decisions any gun dog owner can make when it comes time to get their pup ready for the upcoming season!

[luseda1]

I could offer some headcanons.

Maxwell has been through a lot and it still takes its toll on him. He tends to shun cheery things . Some evidence:

"Its power is spent. Now it's just garishly cheery."

Holiday Cheer- "I prefer my fuel more nightmarish."

Cawnival Sapling- "It's so... ugh... whimsical."

Egg Scramble (playing)- "Such pointless frivolity..."

And then there's this one

Eating Holiday Cheer- "It tastes bitter.

My interpretation is that Maxwell feels a measure of guilt for what he's done, especially failing Charlie, and doesn't allow himself to enjoy things because it feels wrong. Wortox, meanwhile, is all about being silly, frivolous and cheerful. Wortox likely even goes out of his way to try and cheer Maxwell up (though admittedly a big part of that might be by pranking him), which Maxwell would likely find particularly grating- at least Wes doesn't speak.

Also, part of how Maxwell stays relatively sane is preserving his dignity (including being dapper). Wortox undermines that with pranks and mockery.

On a slightly deeper level, I could even see Wortox coming across as monstrous. Now, I'll admit this in dependent on Maxwell knowing Wortox's backstory (I think he probably does and might have even been Possessions' narrator, but I'm not certain). Where Maxwell withdraws out of guilt, Wortox acts as hedonistic as ever. He'll complain about having to eat souls, but also make jokes about it. I could see that coming across as insincere. He might just be unrepentantly using the Survivors as playthings: a most unwanted reminder of the things Maxwell himself has done.

So yeah, there's a major disconnect there. I'd say Wortox probably thinks Maxwell secretly enjoys his company.

Terrarium (no boss setting)- "It seems nobody here likes pranks." - Wortox

That line implies that he actually would hold off on pranks if he thought no one else would enjoy them. Though you could easily argue that while Maxwell doesn't enjoy that sort of thing, other survivors might really like seeing Maxwell harmlessly humbled, I suppose. I find it an interesting dynamic where both are somewhat in the wrong. Their ways of coping with the world are just so opposed to each other.

-------

Quick aside, I have a headcanon about Wortox and the Terrarium. He saw an object that could potentially be used to transport beings between universes and stole it for the other survivors. Going to Terraria wouldn't be the same as going back home, but it might be a crucial step in that, or at least give them more comfort/choices.

Of course, we know it didn't work out. The terrarium broke. Why didn't he tell the survivors what he'd intended?

Sealed Portal (switch off)- "I won't tell the mortals it's here, it'll just get their poor hopes up."

He didn't want to upset them. Better to let them think it was just a souvenir.

He probably had to fight the Eye of Chtulhu for it and assumed the eye was the rightful owner- the eye was actually a more malevolent demon (or rather a small piece of a huge one) trying to steal it too. (his part is based on Terraria's lore.

But admittedly, there's no direct evidence that this is what happened. I just think it fits in with his sweetness and being more apologetic about stealing than he was in the short. It could be that he just wanted a neat magical object, or to see what kinds of pranks he could pull with it.

Maxwell's quote for the terrarium, what beef does he have with poor wortox...

[legendaryoikawa]

haikyuu boys as part of the mafia + how he met you

note: i just thought of this while im washing the dishes HAHA. female reader insert. also happy birthday to the ultimate baby bokuto 🥺💖

warnings: nsfw, mention of violence, grammar issues because im dumb asf

bokuto kotaro 

decoy/manipulator

has a two persona that is best used especially when he is in the midst of a deal

even though he’s a decoy, it is enough to send a rival down to his knees and beg for his mercy

Because bokuto doesn’t show tiny bit of his mercy especially when his dominating side takes over him

Is a good manipulator. To the point that you would have constant nightmares with just the slip of his words.

Good with his hands. Quite aggressive. Yet he plays his cards elegantly like the man he is.

you met him in a luxurious casino. you were the attendant of his table and you could always note how fast his mood changes and it was scary. you carefully stacked the chips in front of him, feeling the heavy weight of his stern gaze. you saw from your peripheral how his hands slid down the edge of the mahogany. “play with me.”

you didn’t answere and continued on organizing the stacks for a new game as per bokuto’s request but he repeated those words again, “play with me. you. im talking to you.”

and you did. he lost. and that’s what made you terrified even more. he grew dejected and stormed out of the casino like a raging tsunami.

that didn’t made bokuto happy at all, so he made sure to find you so he could play with you once more. it didn’t caused him a sweat when he found out where your apartment complex is. and his words have shaken you when he laid the stacks of money on your table and said, “play with me. the loser gets to kiss the winner, if you’ll allow it of course.”

there’s something with his words that are like witchcraft spells. and you found yourself nodding, yes.

daichi sawamura - 

the kingpin. 

daichi is the leader of the mafia group: karasuno or better known as their alias ‘lethal crows’.

 daichi is born into the syndicate. so he doesn’t get caught up unlike amateur people in the black world. 

undergone strenuous training just to prove himself as the worthy kingpin. 

he often orders the assassination and criminal deals. 

he isn’t as ‘intimidating’ like how people expect kingpins to act, but daichi has his own way that makes people so afraid of him. if he wishes to kill on the spot, he kills. even if you’re something important, if you annoyed him to the edge, you’re six feet deep.

however, one flaw of daichi is that he prioritizes his members that he doesn’t oversees the barriers coming his way. 

you met him during this time when curiosity get the best of you. you entered this fancy yet abandoned building in hopes of scavenging something that was left by its past owners. however, no treasure came to your view, rather a drug deal with bunch of rogue looking guys.

“daichi?” you were so shocked to see your co-worker in an expensive designer coat sitting in this throne like chair with stack of bills piled in front of him. he isn’t the typical guy you were used to seeing: the goofy guy in the fryer with his greasy apron. 

you didn’t expect him to be so, different.

“who’s this?” tanaka rose up to his seat. cracking his knuckles while giving you a dangerous look. 

“let her enjoy her remaining life as a free citizen. after this..” he counted the bills and paused at look at you, “you’re coming with me.”

akaashi keiji 

weaponry/gadgets specialist

Quite reserved.

He is often hired to big projects but he would turn it down if it requires his apperance.

No matter how much his members push him to bite off the job he wouldn’t, not unless he works up in the roofs, alone.

Usually works in the shadows. Where his identity is hidden.

Ask him about any weapon, he’ll have an answer in a few.

give him a vague description of a bomb, he’ll have it ready, ticking, for you.

he met you when you walked into his first walked in his gang’s base, with your red stilettos clicking aggressively against the marbled tile. then comes the second meeting and the third till you’ve both made good acquaintances. you liked him. for both his smart mouth and big dick. if he wasn’t just too difficult to persevere.

but you could see that way his breath hitched the moment you walked in with your fitted versace dress. which made you cocky from head to toe.

he could note the way your lips tugs upward as you scan the whole interior of the place. you didn’t need it though as you know every curvature of the place. you were just that shit going around him so you could give him a good view of yourself that he refused indulge in.

you stopped midway to stare at him from head to toe then back to his pretty face. gaze fixated on his kissable lips. despite your urge to kiss him up, you decided to tease, “give me something bold.”

“pardon?”

“you heard me, akaashi.”

and he gave you a fancy handgun, a caliber. however that wasn’t your request. you pulled his shirt and whispered to his ears, “i said i want something bold. want me to spell it out for you? A-k-a-a-s-h-i”

and you walked away. just like that and things just became bold in your apartment complex.

oikawa tooru 

underboss/ loverboy

Smooth talker. Usually uses his pretty face as an advantage to get something off girls that swoon over him.

he is quite unpredictable as well.

he approached you out of nowhere in the met gala and you were forced to be in his own disposal. he isn’t really a headache to deal with. but you aren’t here to flirt around especially with pretty boys like him. there is something in him that is similar with a ticking bomb. so best is to admire guys like him at a distance.

however, oikawa is determined to chase over you. because you are like a diamond in a room full of charcoal.

he approached you immediately when you stopped by in the concession stand to nurse yourself a cocktail.

“fancy a dance, miss?”

you looked at him. oikawa tooru. beautiful as they say but you immediately walked away.

oikawa smirked to himself, “if you just don’thold a precious information. i wouldn’t chase over a doll like you.”

tendou satori 

head of intelligence

can predict the moves of the rivalry gang

so in result they end up getting butchered thanks to tendou’s half assed predictions.

guess monster

the boys entered the room with a agitated expression painting their faces.

tendou raised a brow and looked at the boy filling in their ammos. “what’s up boys?”

“we got played.”

tendou grinned. “oh, interesting. who pulled an ace card?”

“y/n of the yakuza.”

tendou made sure to track you down for meddling in his play.

kyoutani kentaro 

torture specialist

All the dirty work is assigned to him

But kyoutani is quite carefree with his job, to the point where oikawa needs to step in to clean after his mess.

he is really brutal when it comes to finishing a rat pack from a rivalry gang and he gives no mercy.

knows every possible way of killing

but he fancies using the bat since it can strengthen his arm strength and it’s practical.

loves the sound of metal clashing with hard skull with the splasing sound of fresh blood slightly staining his skin.

you were both childhood sweethearts. however, you were the only one pursuing him because he doesn’t want to commit anything to you. not until you found out about him and his crucial job out of accident and he was forced to confess to you, and it was the reason why he don’t want to accept your heart.

one time he went home and he couldn’t find any trace of you. panic coursed through his veins when he heard your cries over the line.

“fucking touch her and i will drench all of you in boiling acid.”

ushijima wakatoshi 

hand to hand combatant

people are usually afraid of him because of how he could flip people off easily without drenching a sweat

he has the capability to run a whole gang just by himself

but he would just rather go and fight fist first

and chill afterwards

both of you met when you were scouted as a new member and part of the group’s test is to have a hand to hand combant against wakatoshi.

you were mortified when he approached you. with his large built and driving aura.

“ready?” he asked lowly.

“no?”

he raised a brow, “i bet.”

and he let you win just so you would get accepted in the gang.

tanaka ryuunosuke

hand to hand combatant

really moody

aggressive and violent

could kill with just the use of his hands, alone. 

but he has his soft moments too but this happens when the moon turns blue.

you were tasked to be his sparring mate. and to be frank, you were really spooked and frightened that you won’t get out of the arena, working let alone, alive. 

and to see him up close, it was really, a deal. he’s tall, with a slim yet broad frame, and really is intimidating. he gave you a look and ruffled your hair. 

“i don’t hurt girls.”

that was the first time you saw him smile. rumors said he never did. 

sugawara koushi 

consigliere

smart shit. 

he’s usually responsible for the activities of the group.

master at hiding the illegal stuff away from prying eyes

and a genius at continuing the legal stuffs even though it’s just for a front

he is also the adviser of the kingpin, especially at plans and deals on heists and forgery

at some point, he is the official diplomat for Japan.

he met you when he is trying to study the floor plan on the central bank. he was in this beige tux, with his gray hair brush up to give justice to his whole other persona. 

you came up to him and offered him installation plans and bank deals perfect for a bachelor like him. 

he gave you a smile, “i will be meeting you soon.”

and he did. in a creepy dali mask and a red overalls. “i told you, i will be back.”

iwaizumi hajime 

sniper

he goes with codes to maintain his anonymity

he works like a black panther, often sleek yet deadly

even the police couldn’t catch up with his hideous crimes because he never leaves unwanted trails behind

kills in his own special way

one time, he made someone swallow a C-4 and stitched his neck leaving it looking so grotesque

and boom, red, bloody like a slaughter house

he once made his way onto one of oikawa’s fancy bar to unwind. however, things went distrupt when there was a sudden shootout. he was beyond amused at how petty the shooters were aiming down at him. it was full of chaos.

he ducked down to fill in his ammos but he could see a figure crouched down underneath the satin cloths drench haphazardly above the tall tables.

he yanked the cloth and saw you there, looking lost as fuck. “what the hell are you doing here?!”

your eyes widened at the sight of the handsome man looking down at you as if you’re some unknown species. “uhm— chilling?”

he repeated your words. “chilling? in a middle of a fucking shoot out?”

“yo. i was lost okay? i don’t know where the exit is”

he grabbed you and threw his arms over your head so you’re protected from the stray bullets ricocheting over the place. “you’re a fucking goner.”

—

i hope you guys like this 🥺💖💖

[cosmonova]

Splatoon Theory: How big are Inklings? (Answer: They’re really tiny.)

So everyone’s familiar with Splatoon’s funky little cephalopods, but just how little are they?

We don’t exactly have easy means to compare them to humans, since the game takes place... several thousand years after the disappearance of humanity in a mass extinction of land-based life, oh well, but there are definitely some clues available in the game that point to the height of the Inkling, and it turns out they might just be minuscule!

Though humanity may be gone, human artifacts remain, mostly sitting in the background of the game’s levels. One in particular that stands out is the Space Shuttle seen in the background of the Ruins of Ark Polaris level:

The Space Shuttle’s main engine nozzles have a diameter of 2.3 meters, making them only a little wider than the average human height, allowing us to kind of visualize how big a human would be in comparison to this level.

It’s not a very useful comparison for getting any accurate sizes since the shuttle is so far into the background, but it does kind of give the impression that Inkling structures are pretty small compared to the size of humans.

Another example is the kettles used by the Octarians as transport in Octo Valley and Octo Canyon. It’s kind of weird that an entire Inkling can fit inside a kettle.

But we know that the domes Octarians live in are repurposed human habitats from before the extinction, so the kettles that connect them to the outside might possibly be repurposed human technology, in which case it’d be understandable if they weren’t the right size for making Inkling coffee.

Again, hard to say anything here though, because there’s no way to confirm if the kettles are of human or Octarian make, or if they’re normal tea kettles or industrial factory kettles. The objects in levels might not even be a fair comparison at all, since we see disproportionately enormous human-made objects in the background of Deepsea Metro stations in the Octo Expansion.

That being said, the random human artifacts lying around aren’t even the biggest piece of evidence for tiny Inklings. That is none other than...

Judd.

Judd, the big lazy time-traveling cat, is effectively a useful unit of measurement for determining the heights of Inklings. Why? Well, thanks to the Sunken Scrolls, we see him in a photograph next to both a human and a group of Inklings, allowing us to directly compare them!

Judd is pretty massive when standing next to a group of adult Inklings, but pretty normal for a large cat when being held by his old human owner. If we combine the two photos...

...we start to get a picture of just how tiny Inklings actually are compared to humans. A human could pick up a fully grown inkling and hold them like a cat.

And that’s just the adult inklings from the Squidbeak Splatoon! The ones we play as are kids, and they’d probably be even more ridiculously small compared to a fully grown human!

Yeah.

Scientifically, Inklings being very small actually makes a lot more sense than them being big!

An organism’s weight increases exponentially as it becomes physically larger, which means larger organisms have to develop a means of supporting their weight. This is not an enormous concern for marine animals - their own buoyancy allows them to support their weight underwater, allowing invertebrates to grow to massive sizes in the sea.

Developing an exoskeleton or internal skeleton provides an animal with even more structural strength and increases the upper range of how large they can become, resulting in marine vertebrates like whales becoming the largest animals to have ever lived on Earth.

On land, animals can no longer rely on water to support themselves, so having a skeleton becomes more crucial for large creatures. The largest terrestrial invertebrate in the world, the coconut crab, is only around the size of a dog at its largest. Meanwhile, animals without a skeleton or exoskeleton are even more limited in how large they can become on land.

Inklings are terrestrial organisms that do not have either, making them pretty wobbly and, were they to grow too large, unstable.

Their limbs are pure muscle. If Inklings were the size of humans, their limbs wouldn’t be able to withstand the compressive force of their own weight, but if they were smaller organisms, they would be capable of supporting themselves just fine without bones.

The major thing that goes against this theory is the fact that Marina and Pearl have been given canonical heights in the Splatoon 2 artbook -  178cm (5'10") and 145cm (4'9"), respectively, which puts them (or at least, puts Marina) in a pretty normal human height range. So what gives? Well, to that, I will point out that squid feet are smaller than human feet! That’s where the unit of measurement originated for us, and it obviously wouldn’t make sense for Inklings and Octarians to measure their heights using an obsolete human unit of measurement.

...That, or I’m completely wrong about all of this anyway, but we’re talking about a species that can magically transform into a squid and swim in the unfeasibly large amounts of ink it produces out of thin air, so I say, let me have fun.

Besides, tiny squids are cute! Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x15)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 15: Not All Rainbows

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: did someone just go and tell the otp about the otp?

Word Count: you know that feeling when you have had a bad experience on some project or assignment or homework before. And you know that thing is going to come around again next month or something like that. And you just age yourself by giving yourself anxiety by thinking everything that could go worse in that area. Yeah. So, I kinda shut that off for a few hours and wrote this.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

An ice pack sits partially on the sofa’s arm and partially on the head that is being knocked softly- but repeatedly- by its designated owner. The fist taps that forehead with the vigour of a dedicated hammer that is softly checking the tensile strength of its mettle. The second camera takes the liberty to zoom in on Tony’s face that has the tension the size of the Alps looming over his head. Other spectators sit around, going about their activities with their five senses while the sixth was stuck on Tony. One camera panned on Wanda’s figure standing in the kitchenette, stirring her coffee cautiously, locking eyes with the lens.

Wanda: Only if you could see the monstrous cloud looming over his head. *stretches the corner of her lips* It’s made less of anger and more of worry and embarrassment. *blinks and furrows her brows* And choco-chip ice cream for some reason. *shrugs* Though I'm just glad that nothing was broken or smashed today. *stops midway* *raises her index finger* Although...

Scott: *glows inside out with a big smile stuck on his red face* *swings from side to side in the chair* Huh? What? *shakes head* Nothing. Just *inhales* I'm worried about Tony *continues to smile*

"So-" Steve took the first step and everyone held their breath- "now we know why we weren't able to reach Carol before. She is clearly...kinda...sorta stuck right where Y/N and Loki are? I think the kids are safe now." "Oh? The kids are safe? I must have missed the scene where they returned home with another weird pet," Tony remarked monotonously with his eyes still closed. Peter leaned in towards Scott. "So Loki is one of the 'kids' now." Both the shippers fist-bumped discreetly before looking all serious. The camera swivelled right towards Wanda, who shared a look of bewilderment while pointing at the joy of the shippers who were clearly not reading Tony's wavelength. And Tony was not the only one on the wavelength. There in the corner on the dining table, Clint sat lost in some thought so deep that his resting face was now a resting bitch face while he dipped his arrows in tiny bottles- the purpose of which only he knew- and handled them like his own babies. "You still have to find a way to stab him with these," Natasha was quick to mention as she walked towards her friend and sat opposite him. "Oh, I'll find a way. I was in his head too, remember," Clint pointed out. "He completely underestimates me." "Hmm," she scrunched her nose, "just remove that itch-like thing on your neck before you go after him though." "Where?" He asked as he scratched the side of his neck with the end of his arrow, his furrowed brows suddenly releasing themselves at the dawn of realisation before disappearing from the camera frame to fall down from the seat with a thud. "Told you not to wipe both ends with the same cloth," she muttered while wistfully looking down at an unconscious Hawkeye.

That One Steamy Dungeon™ No one knew how, when or why Lulu was sitting there in Carol's lap like he knew her for ages. No one knew why Carol was stroking him with the back of her fingers while her eyes were stuck on you like two magnetic poles finding that one direction and sticking to it. And you genuinely did not know why you could not stop looking at Carol. All of Carol Danvers. Especially her lips. "What?" Carol finally dismissed the silence with one casual word. "Ag-sa-wuu-you're looking beautiful," was what you came up with. Loki stared at Lulu's camera with one long blink of...slowed surprise. The buzzing camera caught all three of you sitting in the returning silence over dried hay, looking at each other before you scooched down a little to hide the embarrassment visible over your face.

You: *whisper* W-well, she does look pretty despite all the dirt she's lying in. I mean *violently points at Carol in the background* look at her!!! How can someone look sooooo fucking beautiful??? *lick your lips* Except for Loki of course. That dude is on a whole another level.

Carol threw a shirt over Loki's face from her backpack. "Weren't your looks enough this time?" "Wasn't your hairstyle enough this time?" came the retort. You sat there in the middle, your eyes moving between both of them to calculate this new chemistry you were seeing. The camera caught you pulling your legs closer to your chest. "I didn't know you two were so...close to each other."

Javier: *signing* Why? *Furrows his brows* does that make you furious, Y/N? *wiggles his brows up and down in question* Hmm? *zooms in on his face* Hmm? *turns the camera towards the screen from which he and Green are watching the live broadcast*

"Close? I met him on one mission and this punk would have been dead had I not saved his ass back then." Carol smirked through the sentence and you did not realise any time sooner that you were staring at her, your mouth almost at the edge of drooling. "You blew my cover," Loki stressed while putting on the grey free size shirt. "And then she had the audacity to make me pay for her bar bill on the next stop," he gasped while looking at you. Javier took the opportunity to make his drone zoom at your iris, catching your pupils dilate in 4K as soon as Loki started narrating the story to you while you nodded in enthusiasm. "You do realise your ex-girlfriend wants to cut off your new girlfriend's head right this moment, right?" Carol was generous to point out while getting up and wiping off all the dirt and hay. "I'm not his girlfriend." "She's not my ex-" Both of you had the synchronisation of an orchestra. Carol took this opportunity to let her eyes pass the judgment- which played from one face to another and back for sheer entertainment.

Carol: *shrugs* *runs her hand through her pixie cut hair* Priorities, I guess. *nods*

"Anyways," Loki tried to cut this weird air surrounding the three of them that apparently Lulu was the only one enjoying, rubbing himself all around Carol's leg, "do you have a plan to get out of here?" "Of course," Carol simply jerked her shoulders, "punch my way through." You blinked at the camera.

You: Is that why they are called Captain? It has to be, right?

You shook your head and looked around in the ground, leaving Loki to do the bickering on your part as well. "Well, Miss one-punch woman, this time you are not the only one that needs to escape." You found a stick in the corner. It seemed to be made of the same ashen wood that Aellae sat on in her throne room. "We have tiny mortals to save too." Carol chuckled. You raised the stick your eye level, feeling the weight in your hands when suddenly your eyes grow wide and your mouth turns into a horror-filled 'O' "What? Where is the comedy?" A violent grunt came from your lungs, turning both Carol and Loki into attack and defence mode in your direction. Lulu's camera caught you taking the stick out of the orc's stomach. The dull creature blankly looked at the blood turning into sparks flying against the gravity before slowly consuming the whole creature, taking him with them. The next twenty seconds were a pause on every breath. You finally turned around, the stick still in your hand. "Did I kill him?" you asked in a whisper. Loki and Carol shared a glance. "It was just a bruise" Loki shoved your concern away with his hands. "He's in heaven now," Carol sang. "He was a bad guy, right?" "Yes," both of them nearly shouted. "It's good that he disappeared. You helped the universe get rid of a bad guy," Loki clapped his hands before give you an awkward thumbs up. You blinked at both of them. The smile eroding on your lips slowly turned the duo uncomfortable. "Good." Was all you said for your stature completely transformed. "Because that felt..."  you did not finish the sentence, clearly concerning your company. Well, Lulu seemed to like whatever vibes you were giving off. “Y/N,” Loki pretty much sang your name cautiously, slowly lifting his hands in the air to have a word with you to process whatever you were feeling. But you were already running outside with the most suspicious giggle the room had ever heard. Carol even shivered a bit to shake it off of her.

My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun You better run

The one buzzing drone in the hallway caught the slow-motion emotion of you walking into the hallway with the ash stick in your hand like a gun- locked and loaded- with something fierce burning in your eyes. Behind you Loki was trying to catch up with the adrenaline rush you were feeling, calling out your name to stop you. Carol was close behind, cheering you on as much as she could.

My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga

The orcs didn’t even seek you out. One of the reasons was the fact that you were running towards them first, swinging your arms with as much force as your body allowed, screaming your lungs out and jumping with fueled excitement whenever they went up in flames. Loki had to take a moment out of those crucial seconds to look at you. To look at that animalistic look in your eyes. Pausing for a millisecond to consciously question whether to admire it or fear it, he almost smiled. He might have stood there for a few seconds more had he not felt the blue plasmic force run by his side to destroy the one orc aiming for you from your blindside.

It started with the hayloft a-creakin' Well, it just started in the hay (loft) With his longjohns on, pop went a-creeping Out to the barn, up to the hay Young lovers and they are not sleeping Young lovers in the hay (loft) With his gun turned on, pop went a-creeping Out to the barn, up to the hay (loft)

"Seriously?!" He shouted at the glowing Captain who flew past him. "Catch up. Catch up!" she teased him while leaving a trail of bodies in her way. "ANARCHYYYYYY!!!!!!!" You howled as you ran, following your new crush. Loki sighed, his head trying to hang as low as possible as he looked at the sleek shackles around his wrists. Breathing in a lungful, he grabbed the nearest iron rail from the window looking out at the barren mountains and bent it till it broke in his flexing hand. "Is this why I am still alive?" He whispered to himself while continuing to walk in the direction you just dashed in.

My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun You better run My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun My daddy's got a gun Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga

Throne Room Aellae sat on the ash throne frozen in thought when one of her underlings interrupted her daydreaming with its presence. "What?" She did not disguise her displeasure. There has been a mishap on the laboratory floor, my lady." Her body automatically shifted on her seat. "Four guards are dead. The source is unknown." "Is it the woman?" "No, my lady. I just checked up on her after locking Master Loki up." "Then who is it?" "We are yet to find out. My lady." "Then why are you wasting my time by standing here and doing nothing about it?" The skinny elf-like underling bowed down to her and scurried in the opposite direction. It had reached the entrance of the throne room when a weak scream left its lungs and it stepped back- falling down in the process- to make way for the uninvited guest. The poise on Aellae's face took a turn as she looked at the person casually sauntering in her direction, never realising when she got up. "Oh, don't stand on my account," White mentioned breezily with a smirk, coming to a halt right in the middle of the room. "Zune." She called out the name like spitting a curse. "It's been a while, my least favourite Witch of the West Galactica." Zune smiled his precious smile, standing bright in stark contrast to his dull surroundings. "Last time we met, you were grovelling on the floor, begging for mercy in front of the Silver Court, asking them not to punish you for the endless crimes you committed in the last century." The composure was evidently crumbling away in little pieces. Aellae's stone-like glare was slowly turning into fast blinks. Her usually unruffled breaths were now a mocked laugh. "And the court decided to send you to arrest me? Where is the rest of the coven?" She pretended to guess before snapping her pale fingers. "Oh, right. I burned them all. Poor boys. J'uke, Fae and Mi'in were still so young." Zune huffed and smiled. "Hmm. They were really young when they fought you, weren't they? And to answer your question, no. The court did not send me here." Now this made Aellae burst into laughter. "So, you are here for revenge? For your mates?" Licking his teeth, he bit his lip and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, all the playfulness in his feature draining out with every passing second. "I am just here to clean up the mess that you made. But they are the ones who are here for revenge." Taking a step back, Zune gave Aellae a few seconds to realise that they are not the only ones in this room. And just when it dawns upon her, she sees the rest of the 'coven' come out of the shadows, surrounding her from every probable escape route this place could have. "Fae," she whispered with a deep-rooted horror in her throat, backing up into her throne when she looked at the familiar red figure walking towards her. "When you were setting us up on fire-" Fae carried no empathy in his eyes as he moved closer with every step- "you forgot that you cannot make Gods made up of ancient stars disappear when you please." Every cell in Fae's body vibrated with a demonic aura that made the witch go down on her knees. Her breaths shook and her eyes watered. The claustrophobia resulting from just his presence made it hard for her to breathe. "No," she shook her head, trying her best to mask her fear. "No. This cannot be. I destroyed you. I destroyed the senate. I destroyed everything that stood in my path. I cannot fail this time. This world needs to kneel before my power. That God needs to kneel before me. NO!!" The six looked at their leader to begin the ceremony. "Aellae of the covens abandoned, child of the dark refugees, you are hereby sent to the endless pits of the universe for your crimes against the creatures of the universe." The screams of the witch echoed throughout the castle till every last ounce of life in her voice could be heard fading away by the other group at the far end of the other wing. By the time Carol arrived, all that was left were the seven boys and a pile of ash resting by the throne. “That was fast,” she did not refrain from mentioning, “I thought it would take more than that to get her to give up.” Zune shrugged. “Well, it was easy because we had you and your friends this time. She did not have much to distract us with, unlike the last time she was in prison.” Carol smiled a kind smile at them. “I hope they didn’t give you any trouble?” Fae stretched the corner of his lips. “When you first called us to go around the universe to look for a human, we were a little sceptical. But we were glad to have met her.” “Especially Zune,” Mi’in quipped, earning a yank by the ear from the leader. “Thank you for protecting her.” “No biggie. We would have protected her even if you didn’t tell us to.” Carol furrowed her brows at the statement. “Because Loki had already asked us for that favour,” Zune mentioned, clearing any doubts, “and we owed him from way back.” Feeling the ‘ah’ of a satisfactory conclusion coming on her face, she stopped midway to hear your scream turn louder the second you got closer till you turned the corner to enter the hall with your stick, forcing yourself to stop your lungs from going any further than that. “Oh,” you straightened your stance, giving up on the attack position as soon as you realised there was no more threat, “looks like you guys already cleaned the place.” “You almost sound disappointed,” J’uke stressed, judging by your disapproval of the lack of bad guys. Loki stepped in next, clearly having taken care of whatever tried to attack them from the back. "She hurt my friend. I at least wanted to watch her burn," you simply shrugged. Fae patted your head softly. "Don't worry. You'll get your chance." He smiled the most ridiculously comforting smile. "How?" You whined, "you guys already finished her." All the seven boys, Loki and Carol shared a look with each other while you stomped her foot in the ground while staring daggers at the pile of ashes.  "Yeah-" Zune blurted out, scratching an itch in the back of his neck- "we definitely, for sure, totally killed her. Like-" he pretended to chop the air with his hand- "so smooth." Everyone nodded in agreement. Our elder boys of the group supported their leader while Carol gave them soft applause. Loki gave them a thumb's up.

You: *turning away from the scene in the background where everyone now sits outside the castle having a chat with each other* Aww *smile widely* it feels so good to watch them get along like that!! *start staring in the distance* *smile still stuck on your face* I wish my family could get along this well too. You know. *tilt your head* If all of them got along with Loki, I feel like half of the world's problems would vanish just like that. *watch Javier sign something to you* What? Merch store? *reads some more* Manga?? *looks closely at Javier as he continues to sign* Fanfi-what does any of it have to do with Loki? *camera pans in on your confused innocent face*

"Here's my little monster!" Carol talked in a tone that one used on babies while stroking a very excited Lulu. "Who's a scary boy! Who's a scary boy!!! You are!!! Yes!! You are!!!" You chuckled, watching Lulu enjoy the love and attention from the Captain, bumping his head with hers, wiggling in her lap before settling down in her arms, his adrenaline going down. "Who's that?" Carol asked him, pointing at you. Lulu chirped. "And who's mamma's boy?" Lulu chirped again. "Aaaand who's gonna protect mamma from bad guys?" Lulu growled. And then he chirped again, hiding his faceless husk hairy face in his paws. "Oh my God, he growls!!!!" you gasped. "Oh, he is got a lot more to show you, mamma! Give him time." You sat down next to Carol and stroked a yawning Lulu, who was now making biscuits in her arms. "This one's helped me a lot through this weird, fatal, dreamy galactic trip," you mentioned wistfully. The camera- as well as Carol- noticed how your brows furrowed slightly before your teeth bit down on your lower lip and you turned your gaze up to search for something in the rocky terrain before finally resting on Loki. Carol watched this subtle shift, patiently spectating how Loki too was stealing glances your way while having some serious looking chat with the boys.

The boys and Loki: *standing in the grey terrain like a bunch of Gods modelling for luxury hair products* Loki: It's spelt Z-U-K-O Zune: You named a dog after the fire God? Loki: Wha-no. It was all her *points at you*. Apparently, Coco was a bit too mushy for her. Something about 'Zuko reminding her of a guy who was in his redemption arc right now'. Whatever that means. Zune: *looked at the camera panning in on his face*

"So, you wanna go back now?" Carol asked you, her hands still busy stroking a purring Lulu. You inhaled to answer but felt yourself turning to look at Loki. Carol noticed it too. "Of course. H-how, long will it take?" you scratched your forehead. "We were actually pretty close to getting Loki free of his...cuffs. And I'm sure two powerful beings is always better than one." Carol chuckled and nodded. "Tell you what-" she took your hand in hers, something that you were not expecting- "I will go and take care of a couple of things for our return journey. Till then-" she stroked your hand- "you find out for yourself. Whatever it is that you're looking for." That gentle tone and those cryptically simple words changed some spectrum of the emotions on your face. You stared at her for a long while with your mouth agape. "What are you talking about?" Your breath asked in exasperation. "Cuffs, I guess?" she proposed softly with a knowing smirk. You forced out a laugh. "I have no idea what you're talking about," You chuckled and found yourself looking back at Loki again.

The boys- well, at a few of them- tried to calm down the God who seemed to be picking up a rock from the ground. "Okay now-" Gin, our green jellybean, raised his hands- "let's all calm down and talk about this." "Yeah, yeah. How about we all go to the nearest oasis and have a cup of starry vodka and discuss how we are all alive. Right, Mi'in?" Me'isri, sweet yellow candy boy suggested casually. "Right," Loki nearly sang. His every step towards the boys made them retreat two. "We should be happy that the witch is gone for now. What could we possibly have had to do with her anyway? Hm? What's that? Oh! She was the one who stole my essence you say?" "Look," Ho, the sky blue cheery lad was suddenly not feeling so cheery at all, "we did not know-" "You numbnuts were the one who told me that!" Loki was practically hissing through his teeth right now, his steps breaking into a jog that was letting out some potential screams waiting in some lungs. Lulu was having a gala time just jumping in whichever direction the boys ran into as Loki chased them.

[sonnetthebard]

Owen doesn't really like horror movies and he gets paranoid pretty easily because of them. He hates that it happens and never tells anyone about it, he thinks its embarrassing for someone like him to be set off by something as simple as a movie. Curt also didn't know, until he proposed watching a horror movie one night. Owen went along with it because he knew Curt wanted to watch it with him and tried his best to sit through it, but Curt picked up on how uncomfortable he was -S

I know this was supposed to be headcanons, but... I had to write this as a oneshot. I absolutely love it.

Genre: Fluff/ Romance/ Angst

Words: 3171

TL;DR: Owen is not a fan of horror movies.

TW: Anxiety/ Triggering, brief mention of violence, panic attack, minor implied ptsd.

"Darling, I'm home!" Owen called into his shared hotel room teasingly.

"What, you're done scoping out the venue already?" Curt smirked, making his way out of his room, already dressed down to just a dress shirt (with a few buttons undone) and dress pants.

Owen smirked at that. Evidently Curt had decided his work for the day was over. They were in the primary stages of a small mission- one that should be simple. Intercept the passing of information from the French to the Russians- no matter the cost. If they had to kill someone, so be it. It may be an easy mission, but it was a crucial one. It was set to happen at the ballroom in one of the biggest estates in London during a gala hosted by its owners- set to happen in two days. The owners weren’t royalty, but they were rich- which probably made them more powerful than royalty either way. The event was going to be massive. Royalty and dignitaries from all around the world would be there- and, of course, the informants they were there to stop. If they didn't intercept this information... well, let's just say the Soviets would have a rather large military advantage. And that wasn't something anyone wanted.

Earlier in the day, Curt and Owen had gone out and met the family hosting the gala- who were in full support of their work. They’d even offered to be so good as to give them a discreet signal when their marks arrived. Of course Owen had turned that down because, even with good intentions, the utilization of untrained assets was always a risk. Once they were done with that meeting, Curt and Owen had done some genuine espionage. They were lucky. Their informant had told them when and where their marks would be in preparation for the gala. So they'd alternated locations to watch their opponents. That way no one got suspicious seeing the same two people watching them everywhere they went. Then Owen, being the keener that he was, had gone to the ballroom and scoped it out. He always loved that part of planning. Plus, the house was practically a castle, and it was old. Owen just wanted to see it. It was a marvel of architecture. But it was at least a productive visit. He had a good sense of the place. 

Now, though... Now Owen was exhausted. He'd had a big day preparing for not only his physical game but his mental one. So he was more than happy to be back with the man he loved. And he really did love Curt, in spite of his flaws. Owen was well aware of those. He would have to have been dull not to take them into account when preparing for their romantic relationship. Owen knew he was the more fit spy. He knew Curt could be a bit... careless at best, reckless at worst. And boy, did Curt’s ego ever get the better of him sometimes. But Curt was one of the most affectionate people Owen had ever met. His heart was massive, and he was as loyal as a dog. That was more than enough for Owen. They would follow each other to the ends of the earth. Owen may not have the smartest lover in the world, but... he had never felt more loved by one person. Not even his own parents.

"Already? Love, I was there for nearly three hours." Owen chuckled softly.

"You must be exhausted." Curt rolled his eyes playfully.

"As a matter of fact I am!" Owen scoffed, smirking and setting his jacket on the rack. Curt walked over to him, wrapping his arms over his shoulders and kissing him gently. Owen hummed into it, snaking his arms around Curt's waist. "What are you up to, Mega? Trying to breathe some life back into me?"

"No... I just missed you." Curt blushed lightly, still smirking and trying to play this off as cool as he could. "Am I not allowed to kiss my favourite partner after a long day of work?"

"Oh, you're more than welcome to..." Owen winked, giving him another gentle peck. He rested his forehead on Curt's, sighing. "I would say you could kiss me any time you’d like, but... well... we both know the world isn't quite ready for that."

"I know." Curt sighed. "One day..."

"We can only hope." Owen agreed. He gave Curt one more small peck of reassurance before, pulling away, walking into their room. "So what have we got for plans tonight? I was thinking maybe we could grab a bite at the fish and chips stand down the street. It's quite good. Then... maybe we could go to the cinema?"

"Actually... I was thinking maybe we could stay here." Curt bit his lip. "We've got a television here, and... they're showing Creature From The Black Lagoon on one of the channels we pick up. I missed it in the theatres while we were in Germany, and I've been hoping to see it for a few years now. It's a horror movie, and I've heard the special effects in it are great! We could watch it together!"

"Oh..." Owen bit his lip, breath hitching a bit at that.

Now... there was a bit of a dilemma. Owen came off as very suave, very tough, and impenetrable but... he had a bit of a problem with horror films. That, and films surrounding espionage. He didn't know what it was about the visual medium of storytelling that was becoming so popular, but... it affected him deeply. It was as though it set off something deep inside him, and brought up all his own fears. Even if they weren’t the fears discussed in the movie. As tacky as the movies were with their corny monsters and questionable acting they sparked his anxietes. Even worse to Owen was the irrational paranoia that came with it. The fear of something that didn't even exist. Even the things that very clearly could *never* exist. Like Dracula. Still, if Curt wanted to watch one with him, he would do his best to sit through it. Maybe he could focus his attentions on Curt and not the movie. Or maybe this movie wouldn’t get to him so badly. 

"Oh what?" Curt checked, the smallest trace of concern riddling his features.

"It's nothing." Owen chuckled, trying to mask his lie. He didn't want Curt worrying about him for something so trivial. "I would love to. What are we doing for supper though?"

“I didn’t think that through.” Curt admitted. “We, um... well, we’ve got half an hour before the movie starts. Maybe we could grab fish and chips and eat it here while we watch?”

“Sure thing, love.” Owen sighed. “You want me to go and get it, then?”

“That works for me.” Curt nodded. 

“And do you want me to get some crisps for later in case you get a bit peckish?” Owen checked. 

“Can a get a translation of that?” Curt teased. He knew most of what Owen meant, he just loved bothering him and he knew how much his boyfriend hated Americanisms.

“Do I really have to?” Owen groaned. Curt just raised his brows in expectation. “Fine. You’re lucky I love you... Do you want me to get you some ‘potato chips’ for later in case you get the ‘munchies’?”

“I would love some potato chips.” Curt smirked triumphantly. 

“‘Potato chips’...” Owen grumbled, grabbing his jacket again. “Bloody Americans butchering our language...”

“Love you too!” Curt called out the door teasingly as Owen left. 

The fish and chips place wasn’t far down the street. It was one Owen knew well- his parents had even taken him there as a child. He remembered those days... Things were simpler. Not nearly as complicated as his life had become. But that wasn’t why Owen was so eager to get out of the hotel room. No, Owen wanted the space alone to brace himself and prepare himself for this movie. Because he’d always been strong for Curt. He didn’t want Curt seeing him weak. So he just needed a bit of fresh air. That’s also why he’d volunteered to get the crisps (no matter what Curt wanted to call them). Extra time to steel himself. He took his time, but even then he only spent twenty minutes out of the house. Still... it was better than having had no time at all to prepare. He took deep breaths, making his way back to the hotel room. 

“Alright, darling. I have the food.” Owen called him, taking his shoes off and walking into the hotel. He set the food down on the coffee table. Curt walked out, dress shirt completely gone now. In it’s place, a white tank top. He was in denim jeans now, likely so that he didn’t ruin his dress pants. Owen smirked. “I thought we were supposed to be watching a movie, love...”

“We are.” Curt furrowed his brows, confused. He sat down on the couch, taking one of the meals for himself. Owen shrugged his jacket off, hanging it back up. He then joined Curt on the couch, a teasing glint in his eyes. 

“Well... you’re very distracting...” Owen hummed. Curt blushed. 

“I can put my shirt back on...” Curt mumbled. 

“No, darling. Don’t do that.” Owen sighed contentedly, taking the meal Curt hadn’t taken and setting it in front of himself. Curt had taken out his multi-purpose hunting tool and a pocket knife to eat with, but Owen stopped him. He pulled out the provided cutlery. “Here, darling. We can eat like civilized people”

“Right.” Curt flushed again. 

“You’re adorable when you’re all worked up.” Owen chuckled. 

“You’re a bully, you know that?” Curt grumbled, getting up and walking over to their in-room television. They were lucky. Not many hotels had them, but... this one did. Their superiors didn’t mind splurging a little on their accomodations, because it usually meant they were better rested for their job. 

“I’m not a bully...” Owen chuckled, his heartrate picking up again at even the thought of what he was about to watch. “I’m just a tease, doll.”

“So you admit it?” Curt smirked triumphantly, fiddling with the knobs to adjust the channel. 

“Only this once.” Owen rolled his eyes playfully. 

“I think I... there we go!” Curt beamed as the television crackled onto the right station. The scoring to a typical horror movie started. Owen gulped, already not liking this. Curt seemed to pick up on that. “You okay?”

“Absolutely fine.” Owen lied. Curt sighed, coming back and sitting down. 

Both men sat in silence, eating and watching the movie. Owen tried to focus on his food, blocking out the movie and his surroundings. But... that was unfortunately very hard to do. Especially when Curt was so invested. The man was leaning as far forward onto his knees as he possibly could. He thought Curt might have said something about Owen being right about the fish and chips, but Owen didn’t really hear it. He was caught in his head, in a way. And in many other ways, he was totally and uterly absorbed in the movie, trapped without consent the the saga being recounted on the screen. He didn’t even notice when he finished his food, caught up in everything. 

And then... then came the moment Owen was dreading. The one that had his palms sweating and his body tense the entire night. Even with all that awful anticipation it caught him completely by surprise. Just as it was meant to. For some people, that was the thrill of the game. To him, it wasn’t. To him, it was not just truly terrifying, but also... humiliating. Totally and utterly humiliating. Especially in front of his Curt. Curt, who thought he was this suave, impenetrable rock. Curt, whom he was the foundation. Curt got to watch him cower like a child. The moment of dread was, of course, the first jumpscare. And just as Owen had predicted, he had jumped right out of his seat, yelping. Curt saw him and... he started to laugh. 

The world caved in for Owen. It was a mix of the genuine fear he’d experienced watching the movie, the fears that fear alone had resurface, and the humiliation. He felt in a way that he was disappointing Curt already. And the laughing... it rang in his ears even once Curt had finished. Because this time Curt wasn’t laughing with him- he was laughing at him. He tried to mask it, but he was far too caught up in his head to have any control over what his face did. He shook a little bit. He couldn’t even fear anything around him. He had tunnel vision, and everything sounded like it was underwater. Owen hated it. He knew then and there that trying to be tough had not been the right move. That he should have said no to Curt. But it was far too late for that realization to be any good. 

At first, Curt had admittedly thought it was funny that Mr. Tough Guy Owen Carvour himself had fallen victim to the classic jumpscare. And he would be the first to admit he had laughed a long time- especially when he thought that for once he had been the one to fluster Owen and not the other way around. But then, when Owen neglected to come back with any snide remarks... When he didn’t tell Curt to shut up, or even chuckle along with him... That was when Curt knew that now was not the time to be laughing. That something was genuinely wrong. That was when he finally took the time to notice that his lover was shaking, and the fear that had been in his eyes when he jumped had not vanished- even though the protegonists were safe. Curt took Owen’s hand’s carefully. Owen twitched in what could be a flinch, but put up no fight. That was the final tip-off for Curt that sommething was very wrong. He got in front of Owen carefully. 

“Hey... Hey, Owen. You’re okay.” Curt soothed. Owen seemed to snap a bit out of it- enough to see Curt in front of him and look him in the eyes. Curt suppressed his concern and put on a comforting smile for Owen. “That’s right, babe. Look at me. I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

There was a moment of Owen just staring into Curt’s eyes and reminding himself that Curt had his back. That he was safe. Once he had calmed enough to speak, he took a shaky sigh.

“I’m sorry.” Owen mumbled. 

“No... no, don’t be sorry!” Curt shook his head, giving Owen’s hands a squeeze. Immediately as thought that had awakened something in him, Owen was squeezing back as if it were the only thing keeping him on the ground. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

“Yes I do.” Owen spat, almost as though the words were poison. Self hatred oozed from his tone. “I’ve been lying to you. I’m a coward.”

“You are not a coward...” Curt stated firmly. 

“I bloody well near shit my pants at something I saw on the telly!” Owen pointed out, incredulous. “Something imaginary, on the other side of the screen where it could never harm me.”

“That’s what these movies are made to do, O.” Curt assured him. 

“They’re meant to give people a quick fright.” Owen shook his head. “But... that terrified me. Genuinely scared me.”

“Well... we’ve got pasts.” Curt bit his lip. “We’ve seen stuff. We’ve been the victims of real jumpscares where we could have died. Maybe it reminds you of those. Maybe the lines blurred.”

“Curt, it wasn’t anything we’ve been through that scared me.” Owen softened, nearly whimpering, both scared and embarassed but also pleasing for Curt to listen. “It was that that creature was going to show up behind us and do the same, or... take you away. That poorly dressed, hokey monster that could not be any further from being real. I’m not just a coward. I’m a bloody idiot.”

“You’re not a coward, Owen. And you’re not an idiot. Everyone’s brain is built a bit differently.” Curt soothed him. “You want to protect me... just like I want to protect you.”

“From something that could never hurt us either way.” Owen pointed out. 

“Sometimes that doesn’t matter to the mind.” Curt sighed. “I don’t know if this happens to you when you read all your books, but sometimes someone will tell me a story and I get so invested in it that I’ll feel like I’ve lived through it myself.”

“I know what you mean...” Owen nodded. 

“Well... maybe this movie did the same thing for you.” Curt reasoned. 

“I... suppose.” Owen blinked, realizing Curt made a lot of sense.

“Just like you feel things when you read... you’re feeling things watching this.” Curt sighed.

“Right...” Owen nodded, letting that sink in. 

“You think you can take a few breaths with me, O?” Curt soothed. Owen nodded, following Curt through a few deep breaths until he had stopped shaking and his grip on Curt’s hands had lightened. Once Curt was satisfied, he got up and changed the channel. I Love Lucy was on. He smirked, sitting back down on the couch. For once, he was the one pulling Owen close to cuddle. “We’re going to watch this channel for the rest of the night, okay? I think it’s got some of the good family shows on it.”

“Are you sure?” Owen checked. “I can go lay down. I know you really wanted to watch this film.”

“Yeah, but... not as much as I want to spend time with my handsome British boyfriend.” Curt teased. 

“I love you.” Owen sighed, resting his head on Curt’s chest. 

“I know.” Curt winked playfully, running a hand through Curt’s hair. “Hey, if you’re ever uncomfortable with what I want to do... just tell me, okay? No judgement.”

“Alright.” Owen nodded. 

And so they spent the rest of the night in each other’s arms. Eventually they did switch and Owen was back to holding Curt. He found immense comfort in that- and that Curt didn’t judge him. It was lovely to be totally and utterly enamoured with someone. And that was what he was with Curt- what he was certain they both were. He didn’t focus on the telly (though it did give him a few laughs- that Lucy was always getting into trouble). Instead, he focused on Curt’s hands running though his hair, or the little kisses he was being adornerd with. In other words, he chose to focus on how much he was loved. And that put him in an entirely better place. There was, at least, one thing they could take away from the whole fiasco: no more horror movie nights. They had enough horrors in their own life without needing to worry about anything on the tv. 

[foreverdavidbyrne]

David Byrne’s interview in NME magazine

In 1979, David Byrne predicted Netflix. “It’ll be as easy to hook your computer up to a central television bank as it is to get the week’s groceries,” he told NME’s Max Bell, sitting in a Paris hotel considering the implications of Talking Heads’ dystopian single ‘Life During Wartime’.

He predicted the Apple Watch in that interview too: “[People will] be surrounded by computers the size of wrist watches.” And he foresaw surveillance culture and data harvesting: “Government surveillance becomes inevitable because there’s this dilemma when you have an increase in information storage. A lot of it is for your convenience, but as more information gets on file, it’s bound to be misused.”

In fact, over 40 years ago, he predicted the entire modern-day experience, as if he instinctively knew what was coming. “We’ll be cushioned by amazing technological development,” he said, “but sitting on Salvation Army furniture.”

The 68-year-old Byrne says today, “You can’t say that you know,” chuckling down a Zoom link from his home in New York and belying his reputation for awkwardness by seeming giddily relieved to be talking to someone. “It’s crazy to set yourself up as some sort of prophet. But there’s plenty of people who have done well with books where they claim to predict what’s going on. I suppose sometimes it’s possible to let yourself imagine, ‘Okay – what if?’ This can evolve into something that exists, can evolve into something more substantial, cheaper – these kinds of things.”

It’s been a lifelong gift. Byrne turned up at CBGBs in 1975 with his art school band Talking Heads touting ‘Psycho Killer’, as if predicting the punk scene’s angular melodic evolution, new wave, before punk was even called punk. In 1980, Talking Heads assimilated African beats and textures into their seminal ‘Remain In Light’ album, foreshadowing ‘world music’ and modern music’s globalist melting pot, then used it to warn America of the dangers of consumerism, selfishness and the collapse of civilisation. Pioneering or propheteering, Byrne has been on the front-line of musical evolution for 45 years, collaborating with fellow visionaries from Brian Eno to St Vincent’s Annie Clark, constantly imagining, ‘What if?’

The live music lockdown has been a frustrating freeze frame, but Byrne was already leading the way into music’s new normal. Launched in 2018, the tour to support his 10th solo album, ‘American Utopia’, has now turned into a cinematic marvel courtesy of Spike Lee – the concert film was released in the UK this week. The original tour was acclaimed as a live music revolution. Using remote technology, Byrne was able to remove all of the traditional equipment clutter from the stage and allow his musicians and dancers, in uniform grey suits and barefoot, to roam around a stage lined with curtains of metal chains with their instruments strapped to them. A Marshally distanced gig, if you will.

“As the show was conceptually coming together, I realised that once we had a completely empty stage the rulebook has now been thrown out,” Byrne says. “Now we can go anywhere and do anything. This is completely liberating. It means that people like drummers, for example, who are usually relegated to the back shadows, can now come to the front – all those kinds of things – which changes the whole dynamic.”

With six performers making up an entire drum kit and Byrne meandering through the choreography trying to navigate a nonsensical world, the show was his most striking and original since he jerked and jived around a constructed-mid-gig band set-up in Jonathan Demme’s legendary 1984 Talking Heads live film Stop Making Sense.

The American Utopia show embarked on a Broadway run last year, where Byrne super-fan Spike Lee saw it twice and leapt at the chance of turning the spectacle into Byrne’s second revolutionary live film, dotted with his musings on the human condition to illuminate the crux of the songs: institutional racism, our lack of modern connection, the erosion of democracy and, on opener ‘Here’, a lecture-like tour of the human brain, Byrne holding aloft a scale model, trying to fathom, ‘How do I work this?’

“I didn’t know how much of a fan Spike was!” Byrne laughs today. “He’d even go, ‘Why don’t you do this song? Why don’t you add this song in’. We knew one another casually so I could text him and say, ‘I want you to come and see our show; I think that you might be interested in making a film of it’.”

Are the days of the traditional stage set-up numbered? “Yes, I think so,” he replies. “At least in theatres and concert halls the size that I would normally play, yes. The fact that we can get the music digitally [means] a performance has to be really of value. It has to be really something special, because that’s where the performers are getting their money and that’s what the audience is paying for. They’re not paying very much for streaming music, but they are paying quite a bit to go and see a performance, so the performance has to give them value for money… It has to be really something to see.”

How does David Byrne envisage the future possibilities of live performance?

“I’ve seen a lot of things that hip-hop artists have done – like the Kanye West show where he emerges on a platform that floats above the stage,” he says. “I’d seen one with Kendrick Lamar where it was pretty much just him on stage, an empty stage with just him on stage and a DJ, somebody with a laptop – that was it. I thought, ‘Wow’. Then he started doing things with huge projections behind. There are lots of ways to do this. I love the idea of working with a band, with live musicians. ‘How can I innovate in this kind of way?’ It’s maybe easier for a hip-hop musician who doesn’t have a band to figure out. The pressure is on to come up with new ways of doing this.”

In liberating his musicians from fixed, immovable positions, American Utopia also acts as a metaphor for freeing our minds from our own ingrained ways of thinking. As Byrne intersperses Talking Heads classics such as ‘Once In A Lifetime’, ‘I Zimbra’ and ‘Road To Nowhere’ with choice solo cuts and tracks from ‘American Utopia’, he also dots the show with musings on an array of post-millennial questions: the health of democracy; the rise of xenophobia and fascism; our increasing reliance on materialism and online communication; the climate change threat; the existential nightmare of the dating app; and, crucially, the distances all of these things put between us.

“The ‘likes’ and friends and connections and everything that the internet enables,” he argues, “even Zoom calls like this, they’re no substitute for really being with other people. Calling social networks ‘social’ is a bit of an exaggeration.”

Byrne closes the show with the suggestion that, rather than isolate behind our LCD barriers, we should try to reconnect with each other. In an age when social media has descended into all-out thought war and anyone can find concocted ‘facts’ to support anything they want to believe, is that realistic?

“I have a little bit of hope,” he says. “Not every day, but some days. I have hope that people will abandon a lot of social media, that they’ll realise how intentionally addictive it is, and they’re actually being used, and that they might enjoy actually being with other people rather than just constantly scrolling through their phone. So, I’m a little bit optimistic that people will, in some ways, use this technology a little bit less than they have.”

A key moment in American Utopia comes with Byrne’s cover of Janelle Monae’s ‘Hell You Talmbout’, a confrontational track shouting the names of African-Americans who have been killed by police or in racially motivated attacks – Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, George Floyd and far, far too many more. Does Byrne think the civil unrest in the wake of Floyd’s death and the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement make a serious impact?

“We’ll see how long this continues,” he says, “but in projects that I’m working on – there’s a theatre project I’m working on in Denver, there’s the idea of bringing this show back to Broadway, there’s other projects – those issues came to the fore. Issues of diversity and inclusion and things like that, which were always there. Now they’re being taken more seriously. The producers and theatre owners realise that they can’t push those things aside, that they have to be included in the whole structure of how a show gets put together.”

“At least for now, that seems to be a big change. I see it in TV shows and other areas too. There’s a lot of tokenism, but there’s a lot of real opportunity and changed thinking as well.”

Elsewhere, he encourages his audience to register to vote, and had registration booths at the shows. He must have been pleased about the record turnout in the recent US election? “Yeah, the turnout was great. Now you just got to keep doing that. Gotta keep doing it at all the local elections, too. It was important for me not to endorse a political party or anything in the show but to say, ‘Listen, we can’t have a democracy if you don’t vote. You have to get out there and let your voice be heard and there’s lots of people trying to block it.’ We have to at least try.”

Will Trump’s loss help bring people together after four years with such a divisive influence in charge?

“Yes. I think for me Trump was not so much a shock; we knew who he is. He was around New York before that, in the reality show [The Apprentice], we knew what kind of character he was. What shocked me was how quickly the Republican party all fell into line behind him, behind this guy who’s obviously a racist, misogynist liar and everything else. But it’s kind of encouraging – although it’s taken four years and with some it’s only with the prospect of him being gone – that quite a few have been breaking ranks. There are some possibilities of bridge building being held out.”

But, he says, “It’s too early to celebrate,” concerned that Senate Majority Leader and fairweather Trump loyalist Mitch McConnell will use any Republican control of the Senate to block many of Biden’s policies from coming into effect. “[This] is what happened with Obama… I want to see real change happen. [Climate change] absolutely needs to be a priority. The clock had turned back over the last four years, so there’s a lot to be done. Whether there’s the willpower to do everything that needs to be done, it remains to be seen, but at least now it’s pointing in the right direction.”

How will he look back on the last four years? Byrne ponders. “I’m hoping that I look back at it as a near-miss.”

American Utopia is as much a personal journey as a dissection of modern ills. Ahead of ‘Everybody’s Coming To My House’, Byrne admits to being a rather socially awkward type. He claims that a choir of Detroit teenagers, when singing the song for the accompanying video, had imbued the song with a far more welcoming message than his own rendition, which found him wracked with the fear that his visitors might never leave. How does someone like that deal with celebrity?

“In a certain way it’s a blessing,” Byrne grins, “because I don’t have to go up to people to talk to them – they sometimes come up to me. In other ways it’s a little bit awkward. Celebrity itself seems very superficial and I have to constantly remind myself that your character, your behaviour and the work that you do is what’s important – not how well known you are, not this thing of celebrity. I learned early on it’s pretty easy to get carried away. But it does have its advantages. I had Spike Lee’s phone number, so I could text him.”

Talking Heads drummer Chris Frantz’s recent book Remain In Love suggests that the more successful Byrne got early on, the more distant he became.

Byrne nods. “I haven’t read the book, but I know that as we became more successful I definitely used some of that to be able to work on other projects. I worked on a dance score with [American choreographer] Twyla Tharp and I worked on a theatre piece with [director] Robert Wilson – other kinds of things – [and] I started working on directing some of the band’s music videos. So I guess I spent less time just hanging out. As often happens with bands, you start off being all best friends and doing everything together and after a while that gets to be a bit much. Everybody develops their own friends and it’s like, ‘I have my own friends too’. Everybody starts to have their own lives.”

The future is far too enticing for David Byrne to consider revisiting the past. “I do live alone so sometimes it would get lonely”, he says of lockdown, but he’s been using his Covid downtime to cycle around undiscovered areas of New York and remain philosophical about the aftermath.

“We’ll see how long before the vaccine is in, before we return to being able to socialise,” he says, “but I’m also wondering, ‘How am I going to look at this year? Am I going to look at it as, “Oh yes, that’s the year that was to some extent taken away from our lives; our lives were put on pause?”’ We kept growing; we kept ageing; we keep eating, but it was almost like this barrier had been put up. It has been a period where, in a good way, it’s led us to question a lot of what we do. You get up in the morning and go, ‘Why am I doing this? What am I doing this for? What’s this about?’ Everything is questioned.”

Post-vaccine, he hopes to “travel a little bit” before looking into plans to bring the ‘American Utopia’ show back to Broadway, and possibly even to London if the financial aspects can be worked out. “Often when a show like that travels, the lead actors might travel,” Byrne explains, “but in this case it’s the entire cast that has to travel. So you’ve got a lot of hotel bills and all that kind of stuff. We wanted to do it. There might be a way, if we can figure that out.”

Once we all get our jab, will everyone come to recognise that, as Byrne sings on ‘American Utopia’s most inspiring track, ‘Every Day Is A Miracle’? “Optimistically, maybe,” he says. “There will be a lot of people who will just go, ‘Let’s get back to normal – get out to the bars, the clubs and discos’. That’s already been happening in New York; there’s been these underground parties where people just can’t help themselves. But after all this it’d be nice to think that people might reassess things a little bit.”

And with the algorithm as the new gatekeeper and technology beginning to subsume the sounds and consumption of music, what does the new wave Nostradamus foresee for rock in the coming decades? Will AIs soon be writing songs for other AIs to consume to inflate the numbers, cutting humanity out of the equation altogether?

“It seems like there’ll be a kind of factory,” Byrne predicts, “an AI factory of things like that, and of newspaper articles and all of this kind of stuff, and it will just exaggerate and duplicate human biases and weaknesses and stupidity. On the other hand, I was part of a panel a while back, and a guy told a story about how his listening habits were Afrofuturism and ambient music – those were his two favourite ways to go. The algorithm tried to find commonalities between the two so it could recommend things to him and he said it was hopeless. Everything it recommended was just horrible because it tried to find commonalities between these two very separate things. This just shows that we’re a little more eclectic than these machines would like to think.”

And in the distant future? Best prepare to welcome your new gloop overlords. Byrne isn’t concerned about The Singularity – the point at which machine intelligence supersedes ours and AI becomes God – but instead believes that future technologies will emulate microbial forms.

“I watched a documentary on slime moulds [a simple slimy organism] the other day,” he says, warming to his sticky theme. “Slime moulds are actually extremely intelligent for being a single-celled organism. They can build networks and bunches of them can communicate. They can learn, they have memories, they can do all these kinds of things that you wouldn’t expect a single-celled organism to be able to do.”

“I started thinking, ‘Well, is there a lesson there for AI and machine learning, of how all these emerging properties could be done with something as simple as a single cell?’ It’s all in there… when things interact, they become greater than the sum of their parts. I thought, okay, maybe the future of AI is not in imitating human brains, but imitating these other kinds of networks, these other kinds of intelligences. Forget about imitating human intelligence – there’s other kinds of intelligence out there, and that might be more fruitful. But I don’t know where that leads.”

His grin says he does know, that he has a vision of our icky soup-world future, but maybe the rest of the species isn’t yet advanced enough to handle it. But if we’re evolving towards disaster rather than utopia, we can trust David Byrne to give us plenty of warning.

December 18, 2020

[metoo-desu]

Sorry! Wrong Slayer! - 1/?

giyu x reader

Y/n’s Kasugai crow clearly wasn’t the brightest of the bunch. The first time she received her feathered companion right after the Final Selection, he flew into a tree before crashing into the new Demon Slayer’s arms. Not that Y/n minded, he never failed to amuse her especially when the crow flies to her right after completing a mission in the most clumsiest way. Oyakata even offered to replace the bird after Y/n jokingly told him that her messenger seemed to be ‘malfunctioning’. Of course, she kindly declined him, saying that the crow still gets his job done at his own pace that she never fails to make up. 

“So I’ve been traveling west but I see no signs of demons anywhere,” the h/c-haired talked out loud as she weaved through trees in the darkest hours of the night when demons come out and play. She eyed the crow that perched on her shoulders and sighed, “Are you sure we were suppose to come this way, Poya?”

The black bird seemed as he stared off into the distance, second-guessing himself before he ruffled its feathers in realization? 

“South! South-west! You must immediately run South-west!” 

Y/n internally groaned. Of course the bird would give her the wrong direction to her mission, but thank god it wasn’t far off. Turning on her heels, she quickly ran to the right way, hurrying before the demon could make anymore disturbances or find more prey. 

That night, she managed to arrive on time, quickly slaying the demon and going off to the next town over to rest. 

Before she turned herself in for the night, Y/n rested out on the engawa, staring into the night sky and drinking tea. Poya helped himself with the piece of bread she left uneaten. Her e/c eyes narrowed at the bird, finding herself slowly losing her patience for the quite incompetent crow. 

“If you want to keep this job, you have to do it right, y’know? If it were any other Demon Slayer, they would have replaced you the moment you crashed into that tree.” Y/n began scolding the animal, gently poking at his wing. “Luckily for you, I’m nice and I don’t like seeing a helpless and jobless Kasugai crow.”

He hopped several inches away from her. 

Y/n frowned, “I’d hate to admit it, Poya, but you’re beginning to slow me down and time is crucial for this job. I could be a minute late and find myself in the aftermath of a massacre, and it would be all on me if that were to happen. So please, help us both out and do your job properly.”

If her friend, Shinobu, had seen her scolding a crow and begging him to correct its ways, the Insect Pillar would have mock and laugh at her before doing her a favor and replace it. Y/n laughed at the thought and poured more tea into her cup. 

“How about you send a message to Shinobu for me, hm?”

Poya fluttered his feathers and let out a loud caw, showing objection to what she had just suggested, not vey fond of the Insect Pillar that always tried to rid of him somehow.

Y/n threw him a glare, “Well, you’re going to have to anyways. If you don’t send this message, then you can kiss your wings goodbye.” Without giving him a moment, she recited the message she wanted sent to Shinobu. “Now you better get on with it before I go to Oyakata for a replacement.”

Then off Poya went to the sky, cawing or more so crying into the night. 

^ ^ ^ ^ ^

It was one of those rare days for Giyu to not have been assigned a mission as Oyakata thought he had been working too much without having a proper rest. So there he sat, under a tree with nothing else to do but heed his master’s order to rest. The man wasn’t even allowed to train. 

He didn’t pay attention to the people that walked by him in a hurry to do their daily tasks around the Butterfly Estate, completely in his thoughts, deciding whether or not he should go out and eat at his favorite restaurant or to stay and eat whatever the estate prepared. The clumsy flutters of a crow snapped him out of his thoughts, his attention now on the black bird heading straight towards him with no show of slowing down. 

“What kind of cro—“

Giyu watched the crow descend, crash-landing onto the grass and rolling towards the Water Pillar. It twitched in its spot next to the man before hopping back on its feet, the tiny bells that decorated its neck tinkling, the sound familiar as he heard it sometimes when he’d walk around the estate, followed by giggles from a girl. 

The crow spoke, “Message from Y/N to..” Then it stopped, seemingly forgetting who the message was meant for. 

“MESSAGE FROM Y/N!” It announced again, now disregarding the assigned receiver. 

“‘We should get seared salmon when I get back from my mission! Had quite a rough time out here. And do you think you can come up with a toxin to euthanize this stupid crow? Thanks!’”

Giyu stared at the crow with a deadpanned expression. Most of the Kasugai crows have the intellect to understand the meaning behind the messages they are sent to deliver, but this one seemed to have no clue that its very own owner would send it to someone who would gladly listen to the request and brew up a concoction. 

“I believe you were meant to come to Shinobu,” he told the crow. “Tell this Y/n I give her my thanks for helping me figure out what to have for lunch. I will also relay the message in the crow’s stead because of its incapability to find the correct receiver.”

The crow’s beak fell open, shaking under his gaze before gladly flying away. 

^ ^ ^ ^ ^

*Next day*

“I can’t believe you got the wrong slayer!” Y/n exclaimed, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Whoever you sent that message to probably thinks I’m a heartless being! Only Shinobu would’ve understood the last sentence!”

The crow was absolutely flustered. 

The h/c-haired stomped her feet on the ground and let out a groan, “You had one job, Poya! And I don’t get it! How is it that you remember every word in a message but fail to remember a mission?”

Y/n composed herself, sitting herself down on a nearby log. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “It’s okay. We’ll have to clear my name since you so obviously told them who I was. I do hope you remember who you went to because I’m sending you back to them.”

She received another caw of objection, but with another threat, Poya would have no choice but to go back. 

^ ^ ^ ^ ^

“That is so funny!” 

Shinobu couldn’t help herself but laugh. Giyu had actually went out of his way to relay the message meant for her. Since she was out on a mission the day the crow came to him, he had to wait the next day when she arrived, right before he had to leave. 

“Is she really going to kill that crow?” He asked, curious but not concerned. 

The Insect Pillar shook her head, “As much as Y/n claims to kill Poya one day, she wouldn’t. That stupid crow causes so much trouble for her yet she still can’t find it in her heart to replace him.” 

“I see.” 

“Yup! So don’t you worry about the crow!”

“I’m not worried about the crow. I think she should get rid of it as well.”

Shinobu agreed and looked up at the sky, calling for her own crow. “Right? Well, I’m gonna go ahead and reply to her as soon as possible. Gotta take up on that lunch offer! Seared salmon happens to be your favorite as well, would you like to joi— ah.”

Giyu had already left before she could even offer him to join the two when Y/n gets back, the man eager to leave the Butterfly Estate and on his way to his assigned mission. 

By sun down, he heard the familiar flutters and bells from a distance, the very same crow returning to him once again. He looked exhausted from the way it flew and then it fell. Rolling his eyes, Giyu walked over to the crow, nudging it with his foot. 

“Poya. You passed the Butterfly Estate if you’re meant for Shinobu.”

“To you,” the crow wheezed. “A message from Y/n.”

‘Sorry! Wrong slayer! I’m also sorry for the inconvenience my crow has given you but I thank you for relaying the message as I’m sure Poya wouldn’t have been able to if given a chance. Don’t think lowly of me if you truly believe I would rid of him because I have no intentions of doing so. It was merely a joke’

The Water Pillar crossed his arms and scoffed. This was quite an interesting situation Poya had gotten him in as he found himself curious about the owner. 

He crouched next to the crow and responded to the message. 

[thran-duils]

Devils Look Like Angels (Ch. 13)

Title: Devils Look Like Angels (Chapter 13) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Psychotic!Castiel. An unhinged, criminal, supernatural artifact collector extraordinaire… and the reader caught his eye. It will not take her long to realize that beneath the charm and mystique is a crazed killer who will go to great lengths to woo her. Words: 1,916 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Stalking, angst, death/murder, violence

Author’s Note: There is one more chapter after this!

Chap 12 || Chap 14 || Masterpost || Fanfic masterpost

The door swung open before you had even had the opportunity to knock. Castiel was standing there beaming, dressed as fashionable as ever.

“Come in,” he told you cheerfully, stepping out of the way to allow you room.

Your foot crossing the threshold sent a shiver through you, feeling as if you were walking into the lion’s den. Sam and Dean were down the street and were ready to come in if this took too long. You told Dean twenty minutes was the cap if you had not texted them yet. Sam had protested to that, believing that was too long to wait. But you told him you may need time to console and that required tact, which in turn required time.

Castiel’s jacket was hanging on the back of one of the dining room chairs.

“Would you like me to hang your coat?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Hmm, alright,” Castiel responded, eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

You took in the room, noting the expensive looking rug and portraits. You had been surprised when you entered the neighborhood, seeing the grand houses with their turrets and pristine gardens. Running a hand along the wall panel, you thought of how you would have loved to grow up in a house such as this.

“Did you rent this?”

“It is a friend’s,” Castiel responded, coming closer. “May I get you a drink?”

Clearing your throat, you shook your head, meeting his eyes. You could see the scrutiny beginning to sink in and you knew you needed to move quickly. It was like plunging into cold water being faced with him there knowing what you were about to try to do. But it was crucial that you did this to return to your normal life and that is what gave you the courage to do so.

Facing him fully, you told him, “I have something for you.” You reached into your purse and pulled out the neatly wrapped package containing the bone knife.

His lips curled at the sight of the parcel. “Well, now. How the tables have turned. You have never bestowed me with a gift. Have I rubbed off on you?” He gave you a sly look as he untied the bow. “Although, unlike you, I intend to make use of your well thought out gift.”

You elected to stay quiet as he unwrapped the gift.

His eyes widened in surprise, peering into the box. Reaching in, he began to ask, “Is this…”

Flicking his gaze to you, he murmured in awe, “Bone?”

You confirmed stoically, “The bone from Mesopotamia, as a matter of fact. Not all of it of course, but…” you trailed off.

Castiel was still staring down at it, turning it this way and that slowly, drinking in the sight. A wide grin spread, and he moved to speak but you cut in.

“It comes with a price.”

His smile faltered. “I think you misinterpret the meaning of a gift, kitten.”

“Do you not have reasons for giving me gifts? I believe you expect to woo me to your side when you do.”

“Touche… go on.”

Straightening your back, you told him firmly, “Please stop killing people and involving me.”

He let out a bark of a laugh immediately and you bristled at his curt dismissal of your request. His fingers wrapped tighter around the bone knife, still chuckling to himself.

You kept your eyes trained on him as he placed it back in the box and placed it on the table beside him. Gaze flicking back to you, he moved his arms behind his back and closed the space between the two of you. His musk wove around you at the proximity, your mind fleeting thinking of his arm entwined with yours at the music hall and how you had been enticed by the fragrance then. Now, it made your skin crawl because you were terrified of how he was going to react.

“Kitten. Not only do you obviously listen to me when I talk – I am impressed you remembered my frustration with the location of this artifact – but you went out of your way to bring it to me. You contacted me to do so. I am smitten to say the least. Now, how am I to just… leave us be after this?”

Fear tugged at you hearing him declare that he had no intention of leaving you alone. Despite your fear, you knew you had to continue. This had to be done.

Pushing on, you told him unshakably, “Castiel. It is meant to be a parting gift. That is my wish.”

Castiel’s expression was impassive, his eyes running over your face. It was as if he was waiting for you to break out into a laugh and tell him you were only joking. Every nerve in your body was on alert, ready to bolt if you needed to.

Licking his bottom lip, Castiel inhaled and exhaled slowly. “May I ask why?”

“Our relationship is unstable.”

A small laugh left his lips, as he swung his arm out in gesture to the room. “What a coincidence. I have the deed to the house. We can be stable here. You and me.”

You stammered, “What?”

“I acquired it. Through some forceful means, yes, but I have it.”

He was not getting it. You tried again, trying to sound as firm as you could, “Castiel, I got this gift as closure. I—”

“You do not understand,” Castiel cut in and you closed your mouth as he rushed to explain. “This house could be ours. Permanently. The people here lived owed me a lot of money. So, I came to collect, and they did not have it and they had been dragging their feet for far too long. Really, they were unwilling to pay and it was getting tiresome pretending otherwise. So, I made the decision and they are gone.”

Closing your eyes, you sighed, almost too afraid to ask. “Gone?”

“Dead.”

You turned to leave, not wanting to hear another word. Castiel reached out though, grasping your arm tightly, preventing you from leaving. You turned to him startled; he looked desperate.

“You did not complain about that at the last house in Hot Springs.”

“What are you talking about?” you demanded.

Castiel exhaled loudly, “Well, really I never told you about it. But there had been others who had originally rented out the house and well, I wanted it for you, kitten. It truly was the best house on the lake. So, I got rid of them so we could enjoy time together. And we did! We had a wonderful time.”

Flabbergasted, you blubbered, “Y-y-you what?”

“Killed them,” Castiel told you simply. “Weighted them and dropped them in the middle of the lake. We were such nice house guests and the owners were none the wiser it was not the people who had actually paid to be there. And do not worry your pretty little head because I made sure all the security cameras were on loop, so they never saw who was there.”

You had been at a murder scene. You had slept in a bed at a murder scene.

“So, this is not really any different. And we can be happy here, there is no check out time pressing down on us to rush our time together.”

“No,” you said weakly. Shaking your head slowly, you gained the courage to repeat louder. “No. No we can’t.”

“Yes, we can,” Castiel countered, leaning in closer.

“You’re unstable, Castiel. Not just this relationship. It’s you.” He looked stung, his mouth opening and closing in astonishment. You yanked your arm away and said, “I told you it was sick to send me body parts but then somehow you think I’ll be okay with you murdering people so I can have a house? And you want me to live in this house where you murdered someone, and the cops will surely come looking? Are you even listening to yourself?”

“Y/N, you do not know what you are saying.”

“I am sick of playing games. I am sick of being afraid all of the time!”

Stunned, Castiel took a step back, staring at you as if he did not know you. He recovered, his jaw tight as he stepped back towards you and you refused to step away from him, despite the fact your heart was threatening to burst out of your chest.

“You? Afraid? You asked for tonight! I thought it meant something that you asked! I thought it was going to be a turning point for us, a positive one!” Castiel fumbled, pulling a small box of out of his pocket and your eyes widened in shock. A strong urge to throw up was crawling up your throat, the shock overtaking you quickly as he went to one knee, revealing the diamond ring. “I wanted this night to be memorable. I wanted to tell you how I would like to treat you for the rest of your life, cherish you. Truly. We could grow with each other and make each other better versions of ourselves. I would be happy as long as you were by my side and I hoped you would say the same of me. It could just be you and me if that is your wish…”

He stalled, seeing the look on your face. You did not have to say anything for him to know this was not going the way he thought it was going to. And you were realizing in full how foolish it was to think you could get you out of his mind.

Clearing his throat, Castiel stood up, closing the box. He played with the box in his hands, standing stiffly. “You know, most people appreciate diamonds.” He suddenly tossed the ring unceremoniously on the table, sighing loudly. Glaring at you, he sneered, “Granted, you never wear any of the other jewelry I have sent you, so I should not be surprised.”

His whole demeanor was screaming at you to run.

“I’m going to leave,” you told him shakily, tears pricking.

Castiel continued staring at you, face void of any emotion. You heard his phone buzz in his pocket, and he reached in, pulling it out, looking down at the screen.

A loud scoff left his mouth, his gaze snapping back to you. “Well, it seems your ride is ‘hiding’ outside anyway. I am sure the three of you constructed this… atrocious way to completely destroy this wonderful evening.” You opened your mouth to say something, but he snapped, finally showing some type of emotion, “No, do not speak. Just go.”

He did not have to tell you twice. You kept looking over your shoulder, expecting to find him there reaching out to yank you back into the depths of the house and do away with you just like he had done with the owners. The late sun was security as you stepped out of the house, your feet picking up speed, not quite to a run though.

Tears were falling freely now, choked sobs leaving you as the fear engulfed you.

Sam was halfway out of the Impala when he saw the state of you. “What—”

“Get back in,” you cried. “I just – we need to leave.”

You all but collapsed in the back seat of the car, curling up into a small ball, trying to stifle your cries.

The fear was swirling inside, you well aware you had just made this situation far worse.

~~~

CASTIEL FOREVER TAGS: @willowing-love @perseusandmedusa @greenappleeyes @afanofmanystuffs @earthtokace @shikaros-blog @marisayouass @splendidcas

[laureviewer]

Persona 5 Royal: A Review

It’s finally time to review one of my all-time favourite games.

I first played Persona 5 around 3 years ago, and I’ve really grown since then in a few ways. A few thoughts before I begin: a) since my first playthrough, JRPGs have cemented themselves as one of my favourite types of games; b) I don’t hate all turn-based RPGs except Pokémon anymore!; c) after my first playthrough I went to Japan, and as Persona 5 is set in Tokyo, playing Royal was a lot of fun as I knew a lot of the locations, which meant I could dive into the setting deeper than the first time; and d) my 250 hours of playtime in total across both playthroughs can most likely be attributed to the incredible writing and masterful character development.

Warning: HEAVY story spoilers

I’m not trying to sell you a game. I want to give you an in-depth analysis of the story, characters, gameplay and all other aspects of this brilliant game, spoilers and all. I want a discussion. So, dive in and see what I really thought, no holds barred.

The Silence is Deafening

‘…’ – a direct quote from our protagonist, there. Our silent hero, codename Joker, is a victim of circumstance. Wrongfully accused of assault by a mysterious man who is angered that a kid prevented him from forcing a woman into his car et al., he must move away from his hometown to wait out his probation period and live a normal student life. Why must he live above a failing café under the guardianship of the cranky owner? Not to mention: why is he banished to Tokyo of all places, somewhere very likely much more exciting than wherever his hometown is?

Either way, Joker isn’t going to tell you. He’s quiet and lets the other many, many other characters do the talking for him—a usual trope of JRPGs, but it is still an issue as he is also put on a pedestal as an incredibly special, talented, empathetic and all-round great guy. He’s the only one capable of saving the world, as he has abilities no-one else has, for some reason.

But this isn’t as bad as I’m making it out to be. Sure, it doesn’t really make sense why you have such a huge following when you don’t have much of a personality, but that’s the beauty of the silent protagonist. You, the player, are the protagonist. The fact that you can even put your own name in as his name is telling. You make the decisions, you make the friends, and you carve out your own destiny from the choices you make. It’s always these kinds of games that, when I talk to my friends, I say ‘I messed up with Sojiro’ or ‘I went to the arcade today’—and it is me. Because even though I’m not a woefully silent Japanese male teenager with glasses, for the time I’m playing Persona 5, I am.

So, you are the protagonist. You learn that there are mental shutdowns all over Tokyo, making people go crazy and kill lots of people, such as a conductor crashing his train, or simply killing people on the spot. It’s weird, but what can you do? You’re just a student with his own problems: not only do many of the students avoid you because you are a delinquent, but the volleyball coach, Kamoshida, seems to be harassing students, from the ones on his team who seem terrified of him, to girls that are being hit on. When a strange app appears on your phone, you accidentally find yourself in the metaverse, along with Ryuji, who also has a good reason to get revenge on Kamoshida.

I Am Thou, Thou Art I

What teenager doesn’t have a rebellious self hidden deep within their subconscious? Well, these teens can utilise that hidden self past its usual constraints to overcome the crappy adults that suppress them and make detrimental decisions for them. Once Joker and Ryuji, and later many other young adults, realise this potential and recognise that these adults need to be stopped, they are awakened to their Personas. A Persona is a manifestation of a persona user’s personality, which the individual can use to face hardship and overcome injustice, even if just in the Metaverse, the collective unconscious world.

But, really, there’s no ‘just’ about it. Here in this world, which take the form of Palaces, the Phantom Thieves (you and your friends) can defeat the ruler of the Palace (the adult with a distorted desire) to convince them to change their heart. In this way, the ‘real’ them in the real world will atone for their actions and justice can be served. So, really, your actions are vital to solving crimes, dealing justice and, eventually, saving the world.

These Personas are like Pokémon for adults. You are special, as you can catch and wield multiple Personas, allowing you to have a whole array of powers, but your friends have one that they train and evolve throughout the course of the story. Catching them is a skill: you have to learn their weakness, and use a skill that takes advantage of it to ‘down’ the Persona. This gives you a chance to either: perform an ‘all out’ attack which sees all your allies fight them at once for increased damage; ask them for money or an item; or negotiate with them to convince them to become a part of you (and thus catch them for use later). This gets harder when there are multiple different Personas to battle at once, all with different weaknesses and strengths that means you must time your combat precisely to ‘down’ them at the same time.

Personas are one of the best parts of the game, as you can see.

Not happy with a persona’s moves, or you want to create stronger ones? Go to the Velvet Room, where Igor and the Twin Wardens Justine and Caroline will fuse two or more Personas together to create new ones.

This is where the Pokémon element is better and worse. You can get completely new and stronger Personas immediately, which is cool, but if you are particularly drawn to one it doesn’t make sense to keep using them as they will level up far quicker if you fuse them than if you keep them. I struggled with this at first, as Arsene is your first ‘official’ Persona, and I couldn’t quite believe you are only meant to have him for the first few hours. It’s like Ash giving up Pikachu after defeating Brock!

Also, have you seen how you have to fuse them? It’s so dark and unnecessarily vivid! You have to guillotine, electric chair or hang them in order to create these new Personas, which is so different to Persona 4 where the Personas are cards, making it less gruesome to get rid of your companions. It definitely made me feel bad for fusing them, but that didn’t stop me!

Essentially, the Persona franchise wouldn’t be the same without all the incredible Personas you fight and capture along the way. It really encapsulates what the games are like: stylized and deeply considered, exuding character and imagination throughout.

Take Over, It’s Time to Put You Down

Using these Personas are a lot of fun, too. The moves are elemental as well as physical, they can inflict ailments such as ‘sleep’ and ‘fear’, and evolve as you and your Personas level up. Personas all have strengths and weaknesses, and by fusing them, you can create Personas with stronger moves and resistances that, as you get towards the end of the game, means that you can fuse some incredibly powerful Personas that can fight any and all enemies, if you’re smart with the moves you inherit.

This all sounds very similar to Pokémon, right? Well, there are other more showy, fantastically fun elements that integrate beautifully with the stunning graphics to make every battle (which have the potential to become very repetitive) exciting and challenging. When a character manages to ‘down’ an enemy by using a move that is strong against it, they can either do another attack or choose to Baton Pass to an ally, chaining super-effective attacks to down multiple enemies in one round, which is useful if there are a lot of different enemies with different affinities and weaknesses. Then, once all enemies are downed, all allies can come together for an All Out Attack for an extra boost of damage.

As much as this is useful for the player, if the enemy downs one of your allies, they can also do a secondary attack, which means that they have the potential to wipe out your team very quickly. Plus, some moves are one hit kills, which may have low accuracy but is still extremely frustrating sometimes, particularly in regular 5 where I found the combat more challenging. The worst boss fight was Haru’s dad, where I actually had to change difficulty for the only time throughout the game—who decided it was a good idea to revive the robot shadows if you didn’t kill them in three moves?!

The Showtime moves, new for Royal, bring a fresh new element to the game. As you progress through the story, your allies start forming bonds, which will then be reflected in combat. At seemingly random times, they can join up with fantastic new animations (such as Yusuke cooking Ryuji some yummy food at a bar, who get interrupted by a shadow coming in the door, and they both take it out) and inflict massive damage. I was sad that Joker doesn’t get one, until the Royal section where baes Akechi and Sumire both team up with you respectively for new Showtimes. It made me wonder whether Joker just wasn’t as close to the rest of the team as he becomes to Akechi and Sumire, which actually also made me glad that I focused on both of them heavily in my playthrough!

Every song that plays throughout the game, including combat, is a banger, so even though my husband got annoyed hearing it coming out of my TV for 120 hours, this soundtrack will remain one of my favourites to date. Overall, the combat is great, and thankfully not too repetitive after so many hours of gameplay.

Adulting is Hard

The story of Persona 5 is deeply gripping, and keeps you invested and interested the whole way through. It didn’t absolutely destroy me like other JRPGs have done (see: Final Fantasy XV), but fun, emotive and has huge repercussions if you don’t succeed in your mission, including people dying and the world ending. No pressure, then.

Your actions, then, are crucial to making the world a better place: and the villains that you encounter are integral to succeeding. In true revolution fashion, it’s the kids that need to stand up to the adults to rid them of their distorted desires—but it’s not all random. The adults are truly abhorrent (the first one, Kamoshida, sexually assaults female students and physically abuses members of his volleyball team) and they continue a running thread from first to last—that is, the ones who you think aren’t connected at all seem to be connected to the final villain by the end. It’s very clever, and kept me gripped the whole way through—something that’s needed with 80+ hours of gameplay.

The writing is absolutely fantastic. All characters have their own distinct mannerisms, personalities and stories, which you get to explore with the Confidant mechanic (see below). The voice acting is great, and as I progressed through the Confidants, I really started to feel like they were becoming my friends, and that every time I turned on my PS4 I was hanging out with my pals again. It’s the way games should make you feel—like you actually care about what will happen to them.

This does make the game quite stressful (in a good way), as what you do has actual repercussions. It’s a bit frustrating sometimes that some of your dialogue doesn’t affect the game at large, as well as your romance choices. None of the characters acknowledge you have a girlfriend, and if you date Ann, for example, she won’t act any differently than if you decide to not even become her friend. While that’s disappointing, other dialogue choices can completely affect your game so that you always have to be very careful with your decisions. Will you get the ‘bad’ ending, where you fail to stop the final villain; the ‘good bad’ ending, where you accept his distorted view of the world; or the ‘true’ canon ending, where you revert the world to normal? A lot of choices throughout this lengthy game affect what ultimately happens, so you do feel like you’re affecting the story a lot more than, say, Pokémon. In fact, in Royal, you can even miss out on a whole section of the game…

Ascending to Royalty

As long as you max your Confidant links with Akechi (the renegade teen detective), Kasumi (the new gymnast freshman at your school) and Maruki (the school counsellor), you get to experience the 30+ hours that Royal adds to Persona 5. And—major spoilers here—once you’ve defeated the God of Control and exposed Akechi for the unhinged betrayer that he is, you should go to juvenile detention and your ability to use Personas should be gone for good, as Momentos has been destroyed.

However, in Royal, Maruki has figured out how to use cognitive psience—and you’re the reason why. His sessions with you has helped with his research, and so now he can make the world a better place by granting everyone’s desires in the collective unconsciousness.

As you can see by his actions, he’s not your typical antagonist. His heart is completely in the right place: he wants to make everyone happy by granting their desires for them, such as bringing back Futaba’s dead mother and helping Ryuji recover so he can get back on the track team. I resonated with that, and actually wondered whether it would be worse for certain characters, particularly Futaba and Haru who get to spend time with their respective dead parents, to reject the “blissful ignorance” reality that Maruki had created for them in favour of the truth.

By this point, I had grown rather fond of the deranged but entertaining firework that Akechi has revealed himself to be, and once I learned that Akechi would die (as he did in regular 5) if Maruki’s reality were to be revoked, I almost chose to accept it. But Akechi being adamant that he was going to stop Maruki no matter what as he didn’t want to live under anyone else’s rule helped make that choice for me. It was difficult, though. Akechi’s is a motive that is simultaneously selfish and noble: selfish as he doesn’t want anyone else to control him, even if that means other people are happy, but noble because he values the truth above all else. Plus, the fact that he was one of the main villains throughout the story up until this point made me question whether we should continue to trust him, even though he had decided to help us, even if it were primarily for his own gain. I think my fondness for him (perhaps because he is a fully-fledged Confidant in this game, unlike regular 5) and the wildcard elements he brought to the game made me feel a certain brand of loyalty towards him, and so I chose to honour his “dying wish”. And, of course, this path led to the ‘true’ ending!

This indecision is shown most clearly in Maruki’s palace, where you have to deduce what decisions in certain situations Maruki would think is the ‘right’ one. It really helps you understand where he’s coming from. For example, his question ‘if your friend is being attacked, and you don’t have much time before they get seriously hurt, would you a) run to get help but you might not make it back in time, or b) join the fight to help but you might get hurt yourself?’ Neither answer is necessarily wrong, but b) is correct as Maruki simply wants you to look out for yourself over others. The crux of his viewpoint is that you should endeavour to make yourself happy or safe, even if that means others may not be. It’s a very interesting conundrum, and one I enjoyed debating philosophically whilst playing.

The concept of right and wrong and mental health was also tackled in this game through Kasumi/Sumire. Ultimately, even though Maruki wanted to help her by allowing Sumire to pretend to be her dead sister, as she blames herself for her death, he ultimately did her more harm than good. With the support of Joker and the others Sumire was able to overcome her delusions and grow into a strong, confident young woman. This cemented for me how backwards Maruki was and that reality is the most important thing, even if it’s not always what we want, because that’s life. In this way, I feel that Royal added something to 5. Even though going into someone’s mind palace was about mental health, I never really considered it until Royal dealt with an innocent traumatised girl and a misguided man attempting to heal her. I applaud Atlas for tackling something so difficult pretty well.

Confident in my Confidants

It’s a good thing the player can really get into the story, because it’s heavily dependent on personal decisions and making friends.

In order to get stronger within the Metaverse, Igor, the man inside the Velvet Room, tells Joker that he needs to strengthen the relationship with his friends first. This is absolutely true—not just with your teammates, but with other individuals who live in Tokyo too, in the form of the Confidant mechanic. For example, while your teammates all get skills such as curing afflictions and taking fatal hits for Joker, others give just as much if not more valuable perks, such as Kawakami giving you more free time or Mishima allowing all teammates to gain experience even if they don’t contribute to the battle once you max them out.

The way you level them up is through socialising. This passes time, but is also incredibly interesting, as each Confidant has a gripping story (except Ohya!). You can’t downgrade a Confidant, but picking the right dialogue choices can make leveling them up much quicker in a game where time is everything. It’s also necessary to level up your stats, such as knowledge, kindness and charm, to allow you to progress with some Confidants and be empathetic or charming enough to deal with the situations thrown at you. I loved the dual play style of dungeon battles and social simulation—in a lengthy game, it broke up gameplay and kept it fresh.

As this was my second playthrough, I already knew that maxing certain Confidants would yield the best results, such as Kawakami and Yoshida who eventually allows you to negotiate with and catch shadows of a higher level than you. But in Royal, the new additions of Counselor, Faith & Justice—Maruki, Kasumi & Akechi—freshened things up. Technically, Justice isn’t new, but you can now hang out with him instead of his progress being facilitated purely by story.

Time to rate my friends from worst to best!

21: Ichiko Ohya Devil Arcana

I found this alcoholic journalist very annoying. Her story isn’t that interesting, she isn’t very nice, and the skills that she gives you to allow you to sneak around Palaces easier aren’t worth it either. I only maxed out her story near the end as I had time, but honestly, she shouldn’t be a priority.

20: Iwai Munehisa Hanged Man Arcana

Didn’t think anything of him until Royal, where I had more time to learn about his time in the Yakusa and his son. Useful for guns (which aren’t even an integral part of combat, really), but other than that I barely used his shop—plus you have to have high Guts in order to progress. Definitely better Confidants out there.

19: Tae Takemi Death Arcana

The fact that this doctor is a sexy goth is probably the best thing about her. You can level her up quite early on, so she is quite exciting at the beginning as she’s one of the only adults you can turn into a Confidant at that point, but after a while she stopped being interesting to me. In my Royal playthrough I found I didn’t need many healing items—SP was far more important!—and in the end I didn’t max her out. A fun outfit, but can leave her.

18: Shinya Oda Tower Arcana

Definitely annoying (but what little brother isn’t?) but there’s a sad reason for that—his mum is emotionally abusive, even if she doesn’t mean to be. In the end I wanted to max him out to save him from that life, but I never quite got that far. At least I managed to change his mum’s heart before I finished the game.

He’s also quite useful in buffing gun attacks and bonuses for downing and negotiating, so definitely useful for combat. I just ended up feeling bad for him, but he was also a bit of a shit, being a bully to his classmates; his big bro Joker helped with that!

17: Hifumi Togo Star Arcana

I never got to know her in my first playthrough, and I didn’t realise how useful she is for battles. She eventually allows you to swap players in combat, hastens escapes, improves money hauls, and allows back-up members to do follow up attacks. I’d definitely give her a shot for just those bonuses, even if you don’t want to romance her—but she is sweet, if very detached from the rest of the story.

16: Chihaya Mifune Fortune Arcana

I maxed her out pretty quickly so I could get the fortune readings; affinity was especially useful, as you can level up Confidants a tiny bit quicker, for a price. And, after she takes 100,000 from you near the beginning (!) and eventually gives it back, she’s lovely. Nothing special, and definitely not one to romance, but nice.

15: Twin Wardens Justine & Caroline Strength Arcana

Their Confidant path was slightly different: you have to show them Personas with specific moves, and they will level up. This was very interesting, and also put a natural brake on their relationship, as some Personas can’t be made until you are a certain level. They are also very useful as you eventually unlock group Persona fusions and can fuse Personas of a higher level than you, for a price. Always fun to get the ridiculous Personas a bit earlier on! Also, their story was super interesting, due to the mystery that surrounds their identities…

Also also, Royal gives a new element to your relationship with them. You can now take them out of the Velvet Room to show them ‘human things’, like aquariums and cinemas. I didn’t utilise this much as you only get skill cards, and no actual level progress, but I wish I had more time, as the dialogue in these sequences is hilarious as they try to understand why humans would do certain things. The fact that I’ve ranked them so low is telling—there are so many fun and useful Confidants that mean they rank this low. 

14: Yuuki Mishima Moon Arcana

I actually think you’re a bit mean to him—he’s definitely your friend, but every time you are asked to clarify this the dialogue choices make you seem like a dickhead when you say he’s only ‘sort of’ your friend! He’s helped you so much, stop being such a dick, player. Plus he helps increase EXP, as well as allows EXP to be given to back-up members so it’s definitely a good thing to max him earlier. Plus, he’s sweet, and gives you Momentos requests. Justice for Mishima!

13: Takuto Maruki Councillor Arcana

Lovely. What a gent. Shame he turned out to be distorted by deciding to change people’s realities by interpreting their vague wants instead of actually asking people if they’d WANT their realities changed or not. Sounds a bit like Thanos to me, but with a better reason to be evil.

The bonuses of Maruki though are: he’s interesting; he’s lovely; and his bonuses are mainly SP based, which is always hard to recover in Persona, especially in the early stages of the games. He raises your SP, gives you a chance to instantly recover ailments, gives you a chance to become focused and therefore raises your attack, and gives you a chance to recover your SP when low. Very useful, and you can’t play the Royal storyline without maxing him out before November 18th anyway.

12: Haru Okumura Empress Arcana

Again, I wasn’t too much of a fan of Haru on my first playthrough (perhaps because she’s quite a late addition to the team), but this time round, I had more time to get to know her. I really wanted to save her from her awful fiancé, and hoped I’d be able to say ‘don’t marry him, marry me!’ if I chose to romance her, but alas. I was also quite surprised with how business-orientated she is, which was a surprise. However, she was just too prim and proper for me, and even after her story showed her to be evolving into a confident woman, she didn’t evolve quite enough for me to be interested.

She’s useful, though, as all the Confidants are who are your team members, so leveling her up is a must, for help in combat and to evolve her Persona.

11: Morgana Magician Arcana

Morgana was the most useful as the support hero—I always wanted him in my party, particularly in hard battles, just to keep me and my allies alive. Plus, who doesn’t love a talking cat? Though, at one point, he does get moody and very annoying. While Morgana as a character was never that exciting past being the initial reason they can become Phantom Thieves and the mystery surrounding where he comes from, Royal switched that up by turning him into a dreamboat with piercing blue eyes when Maruki made his dream of being a human come true. They kept saying throughout this sequence how beautiful he was, which was amusing. A nice twist on the original game.

10: Toranosuke Yoshida Sun Arcana

I learnt to level this fallen-from-grace politician up quickly from my first playthrough as, once you max him out, you can negotiate easier with shadows of your own level, and negotiate with higher level shadows and add them to the compendium—absolutely necessary. Also, he’s basically a massive socialist leftie, so he rocks.

9: Yusuke Kitagawa Emperor Arcana

I didn’t like him much in my first playthrough, but now I appreciate him far more—he’s flamboyant, artistic and, best of all, happy to be in his own mind and be himself, no matter what people think of him. He’s a bit stuck up sometimes, but all in all he’s an outsider who fits in better than he really should. And he provides funny dialogue, particularly when interacting with Futaba. I also love his Showtime moves with Ryuji and Ann.

8: Ann Takamaki Lovers Arcana

I’m quite surprised she’s this low down for me, but even though she’s the first girl you befriend and she’s hopelessly beautiful to everyone who meets her, she doesn’t quite push past the ‘ditzy girl’ trope. The story does try to make her more nuanced, and to an extent it works—she’s also fun, thoughtful and empathetic—but there’s just too many misogynistic and ditsy jokes that even only a few years later don’t land anymore. Saying that, she literally uses her sexuality to break free of the misogyny that surrounds her body and the sexual abuse and prejudice she experiences, at the most from the volleyball teacher, and at the least from everyone around her. It’s a steep hill to climb, but she’s doing it.

I drew the picture below!

7: Sadayo Kawakami Temperance Arcana

Kawakami’s your teacher—what could possibly go wrong? Well, she’s also a sexy maid who comes over to clean up, though she won’t go any further as you’re her high school student. Yet. It’s a bit dodgy, especially as she acts like your mum, but even so, the forbidden fruit angle is fun. Her story is also compelling. Not only is she an interesting Confidant, but one of the most useful ones for the amount of extra time she gives you when you level her up. Why on both my playthroughs did I not level her up immediately?

6: Sojiro Sakura Hierophant Arcana

He’s your guardian who takes you in when you have to move from your hometown after your alleged assault to live out your probation. He starts out cranky, but has an absolute heart of gold. He ended up being one of my favourite Confidants—plus, he’s one of the most useful, as he is one of the only ways to get SP in the early game by making coffee and curry. You need to understand the pride I got from making coffee that met his expectations!

5: Futaba Sakura Hermit Arcana

Sojiro’s adopted daughter is so much fun that I romanced her in the first game. While some may think she’s more like a little sister, she’s just a bit more immature because of her hermit lifestyle and Arcana. She’s funny, loves games, and has great references; she is one of the only instances of a game that has a young girl who doesn’t sound like 40-year-olds trying to sound like teenagers. She has a heartbreaking story, but her personality keeps it light. She says it how it is, no matter what anyone else thinks. She’s great.

4: Kasumi/Sumire Yoshizawa Faith Arcana

I chose to romance the gymnast honour student in Royal, because how can you not romance the new girl? Though I wasn’t sure at first, as I found her quite twee at the beginning. However, she became a lot more nuance when she became Sumire, which is to be expected. Plus, she is really well integrated into the story and really makes you feel she cares about you. She has an amazing costume when she is Codename: Violet, and gives you some truly useful abilities, such as ambushing from a distance and avoiding being surrounded by shadows. She’s a great addition to an already great game.

3: Makoto Niijima Priestess Confidant

She’s bestgirl in terms of smarts, badassery, and simple relatability. She is Student Council President, an honour student, and has been manipulated by evil adults for their own distorted desires. Her parents have died, which instils her with deep guilt for being a burden on her sister. She’s also the only one whose Confidant story doesn’t actively revolve around herself: she changes, but it’s through helping her friend who may be a victim of trafficking rather than her own self-interests. She’s sharp, poised and even more badass when she awakens to her Persona, Johanna—it’s a freaking motorcycle!

2: Ryuji Sakamoto Chariot Confidant

Your best buddy. I’m always drawn towards these ones, who are treated a bit dumb but are loyal to the end. He’s also hilarious, like when he complains the Phantom Thieves are in the shadows and not getting any credit, and I chose the option ‘I like the shade’, he says ‘what are you, moss?!’ I really do wish I could romance him, because I can see a lovely storyline where he’s unsure at first but the fact that they’re soulmates transcends gender.

1: Goro Akechi Justice Confidant

I’m almost hesitant to admit I find him the most fascinating and fun. Not only is he dangerous, exciting and unhinged, he's at the centre of an incredible twist. He’s one of the most interesting characters, and you never know what he’s going to do next. I would definitely date him if Japanese games let gay relationships happen; he has all the best attributes for a crazy romantic relationship. Not IRL, but in a game, why not?

I love that he didn’t die and teams up with you in Royal, and that . He’s also the first character that Joker gets a Showtime move with, which made it quite special. When it is revealed just how evil and crazy he is, his whole character changes, including his Persona, his Phantom Thieves outfit, and his demeanor—it’s scary how excited he is by killing, but at the same time, he is absolutely certain of his viewpoints and won’t compromise for anyone. Many of these points would be a reason why he shouldn’t be my number one, but I can’t help it.

Honourable Mentions: Igor (Fool Arcana), Sae Niijima (Judgement Arcana) & Jose

Igor is the ruler of the Velvet Room, and the person who facilitates your rehabilitation in changing peoples’ hearts. However, ‘person’ isn’t quite right for Igor: he’s the God of Control, born from the desires of the collective masses who want to be controlled and be told what to do rather than make difficult decisions. It was a cool twist to realise that the God of Control had been impersonating the real Igor; I don’t know if Igor was lovely in the previous games, but he certainly is once you restore him at the end of 5. Despite him being interesting, I never felt like I had a connection with him, as you level up his Arcana automatically throughout the story, and he never tried to have a personal relationship with Joker.

Sae has her own palace and Arcana, but she’s not quite the same as the others. Like Igor, you level up automatically throughout the game when you confess to her the whole Phantom Thieves story, and while she does have a Palace, she doesn’t through any huge transformation other than realising that learning the truth is better than trying to win at any cost. She’s cool, and her outfit in her Palace is sexy, but you can’t romance her and can’t change much of what you say to her. I wish in Royal she could have been a fully fledged Confidant instead.

Jose counts even less. A new addition to Royal, he helps you change the cognition of Momentos by collecting stamps as you go further down, and he gives you items in exchange for flowers, so he definitely makes Momentos better. However, his addition is nothing world-shaking, and he only shows up randomly, which makes him quite annoying. I could have done without him, but at least he made Momentos more interesting than in the base game, which, compared to Palaces, was quite boring.

All in all, my main issue with the Confidant system as that you still can’t date boys. We’ve been saying for years ‘that’s just the Japanese way’, but considering the crazy hentai they bring out (still with only very little amounts of yaoi/gay hentai) it may be time to stop excusing them for not being with the times. Catherine: Full Body aimed to dispel that somewhat—perhaps Persona should too.

A Momentous Game

Overall, this is one of my favourite games of all time. The gameplay keeps me entertained for 100+ hours (though, to be fair, I do love long games) and the characters and writing makes me emotionally connect with the story they are telling. I’d suggest playing for at least 8 hours, as it’s a slow burn, but once that hurdle is jumped the real obsession begins.

Time to go and play Persona 4 Golden, as I’m not quite ready for the fun to be over yet.

[sykilik101]

Colloyd Week Day 7: Free Day

“Lloyd!”

-didn’t turn in time-

“Lloyd, watch out!”

-panic, shoved to the dirt-

“Colette!”

-that sound, the sound of her screaming from-

-blood-

“Colette!”

-don’t die-

“Colette!”

-please, please, don’t die-

“COLETTE!”

In a flash Lloyd’s eyes snapped open, his body jolting up from the bed. Breaths came in strained gasps as his drowsiness and oncoming asphyxiation clouded his ability to realize his throat had practically reduced itself to the size of a grain of sand. His clothes clung to his body as sweat dripped from every pore, the moisture in his eyes making the darkness of the inn room that much murkier. Reaching for his neck, his survival instincts denied him his attempts to reach inside and force his throat open so he could remind his windpipe that it served a purpose.

“Lloyd, snap out of it!”

In his terror he hadn’t immediately noticed Genis shaking his shoulder, trying to pull him back into a sane reality. Through the haze he could make out the silhouette of his best friend, along with Regal kneeling beside his bed. Both wore dismayed expressions on their faces, though the older of the two was quick to rest his hand on Lloyd’s knee. “Lloyd, try to relax and focus your breathing.” He gave Lloyd’s leg a squeeze, as if trying to inject the words directly into his bloodstream.

Seconds felt endless as he gripped his fingers around Genis’s, the adrenaline making it difficult to concentrate. As he slowly found his heartbeat he began identifying the rest of his body’s functions, picturing his lungs and the way they expanded and deflated in the presence of oxygen. Blinking back further tears he found himself suddenly hyperventilating; less than ideal, but at least he was no longer in danger of suffocating.

“Colette!”

His nightmare returned to him, turning to Genis as he swallowed with a dry tongue. “Where is she?”

“Lloyd, who are you-”

“Colette! Where’s Colette?!”

It was impossible to tell if the half-elf was more shocked at Lloyd’s raspy voice or his outburst, but as he still possessed a rational mind, he seemed to look past it and give Lloyd another gentle shake. “She’s probably in the other room with the rest of the girls. What are you-?”

The last of Genis’s words became background noise as Lloyd’s paralysis vanished, bolting out of his bed and making a beeline for the door. Throwing it open he sprinted down the second floor walkway, eyes locked on the doorway at the end. In seconds he was pounding at the wood, disregarding - or drowsily obvious to - any of the other potential visitors in the inn. “Colette! Colette, are you-”

His fist gave way as the door suddenly opened. Before him stood Raine, her half-lidded eyes an indicator of her exhaustion or her exasperation, though likely both. “Lloyd Irving, just what are you-”

He knew he’d owe her an apology later, but he shoved that thought into the back of his mind with the same potency he used to force his way past her into the room, immediately spotting the blonde-haired girl rubbing sleep out of her eye. There she was. Alive. Breathing, certainly better than he was. He didn’t even realize how quickly he’d made his way to her bedside, kneeling down and taking her free hand in his. “Colette, are you okay?”

The hoarse panic in his voice was enough to wipe away the remnants of her sleepiness, her blue eyes flashing with concern. “Lloyd, w-what’s wrong?”

A magnetic pull drew his attention to her stomach; beneath the cloth and stitching there he knew scar tissue and blemished skin marred her otherwise healthy torso. Human flesh was deathly allergic to monster attacks, and not even the Chosen was exempt from that rule. Flashbacks of the horrific incident flooded his mind, but he willed himself to drain the thoughts away as he floated his gaze back up to hers. “You- you’re okay, right?”

In an instant the fear she wore was replaced with understanding and comfort, resting her palm atop his. “Lloyd, I’m fine. I promise.”

His hands memorized the softness of hers, running a thumb along the barely raised skin that held a vein. That’s where blood belonged, not decorating the dirt in the middle of a road not even a few miles from town. The look of agony he’d seen on her face, of fear, raised every hair on his body to attention. Had it not been for Raine’s insistence on allowing her to tend to Colette, he’d have pulled her close and wiped the tears that had begun to shed below her eyes.

Yet here she now sat, playing the role of comforter as his composure teetered along a razor-thin wire. “Are you sure?”

To answer him she ran her fingers along her stomach. He instinctively flinched, though she showed none of the pain he expected from her at touching the injury. “The Professor spent a lot of time making sure I was all better before we went to bed.”

A hand landed on his shoulder, sending a jolt through his already fried nerves. Rained looked down at him, stern but compassionate eyes piercing into his. “I’ll examine Colette once more to be safe, and if there’s any issue with her injury, I’ll tend to it right away.”

Lloyd swallowed, still mentally shattered at the way his heartbeat couldn’t match his breathing. In his mania he tried concentrating on Colette’s hand and Raine’s words. Colette didn’t appear to be in pain, and Raine would do everything in her power to make sure any wound Colette had was healed. His eyes wavered back and and forth between them, eventually landing on Raine. He forced down a shaky breath before nodding. “Okay.”

His voice was tired, worn, but he’d choose her safety over his vocal cords any day. He looked back at Colette, offering what he hoped was a relaxed smile when he knew his worry was practically palpable. Standing to his feet he noticed Sheena and Presea had awoken, wearing the same look of concern. Guilt and awkwardness coursed through him, offering a meek hand wave as he headed for the doorway. “Sorry for waking you all up.”

Closing the door behind him he leaned against it with a sigh, fighting to calm his breathing and the maelstrom in his mind. Not ten feet behind him, Raine was inspecting Colette’s injury and making sure she wasn’t in danger. In a few hours he’d be back to sleep, and by daybreak he’d wake up and Colette would say good morning as she always did. Everything would be okay.

The cold, erratic grip around his heart said otherwise.

With another breath he willed his feet towards his room. As the door drew closer his peripheral vision took notice of the couch down in the middle of the foyer. The idea of immediately returning to the bed, and the night terrors, made his stomach churn. He’d heard Raine once comment how some time on a couch might do him some good. He hadn’t understood it at the time, but between a cushion and the vivid images of Colette’s near-death experience, he’d happily go along with Raine’s past suggestion.

Descending the stairs he plopped himself down onto the couch, his fingers falling into each other. In seconds they had resumed their shivering; he’d hoped a firm grip would ease them, but trauma was stronger than his grasp as panic sprinted through his head. It had been a normal battle, nothing that they hadn’t handled before. A pack of wyverns had attacked, but the party was accustomed to a fight like that. Lloyd had managed to cut down one of them, but another had managed to escape his vision. Then he’d heard the voice, and before he could register its owner his back was on the ground and Colette was-

His breaths began escaping him in shaky hisses, his veins freezing over as images of Colette’s body on the ground overtook him. He pleaded for his mind to stop, to erase the memory and never let him have to see her like that ever-

“Lloyd.”

Raine’s words sliced through his anxiety as he turned his grieving gaze to the foot of the stairs. She stood with a caring expression, but in it he could also see that stoicism that constantly accompanied her. Having gained his attention she walked towards him, her footsteps an echoing presence in the otherwise silent lobby.

“Is she okay?” He didn’t have the conviction to hold a steady voice, but in the moment proper articulation was the least of his worries.

She nodded, and the gesture alone slowed his heart to recordable speeds. “You don’t have to worry, the injury is fine, although it’ll still take some more time before she’s fully recovered.”

The malignant mirage of Colette’s lifeless eyes vanished from his mind, but his hands continued to shake. Raine took a seat in the armchair across from him, leaning forward. “Are you still thinking about the earlier battle?”

His chest tightened, the sound of the wyvern’s screeches ringing in his ears. “Colette got hurt because I was careless. I should have seen that monster.” Guilt began pumping heat into his face, twinges of anger and self-doubt mixing with his already potent internal ache.

She shook her head. “Lloyd, no warrior is perfect. Being able to count on your teammates in a fight is crucial when dealing with a group of enemies.”

“But I’m supposed to be her protector. I swore that I would keep her safe until our journey is over.”

“Does that mean Colette isn’t allowed to protect you, too? Or any of us, for that matter?”

Her words, calm and composed, allowed him a moment of reprieve as he latched his gaze onto hers. Without waiting for a response from him she continued. “Colette acted because she cares about you, just as you care about her. Being upset that she hurt herself to save you is no different than being upset at her for her willingness to ensure your safety. Instead of blaming yourself for not protecting her, acknowledge her as someone who would risk her life to save someone dear to her. After all, she’s no longer the girl who needed protecting that first left Iselia, is she?”

Years of friendship and fondness materialized into the mental image of Colette. Where he normally saw the klutzy, silly childhood friend of his now stood a Chosen of Mana, carried by scintillating wings and an adeptness with chakrams. He’d watched her for months and months, seeing the way she’d laughed, apologized, worried, but also grown and fought beside him. Raine was right; the girl who’d left Iselia would hide her insecurity and worry behind a smile, but the girl who he fought for now had earned her own warrior spirit.

A soothing peace wafted through his body, and for the first time in nearly a day he felt his shoulders relax. He inhaled, refreshed at the way oxygen had regained its taste. “I guess you’re right.”

Raine looked to be on the cusp of her proud teacher’s smile, that slightly upturned lip and its matching eye glint visible even in the dim room. “If you recognize that, then keep bettering yourself so you can keep each other safe. That includes protecting yourself, for her sake.”

“I will. Thanks, Professor.”

The creak of an opening door caught both of their attention, looking up to the second floor to see Colette standing above. Any ounce of sleepiness that should have been in her eyes was filled instead with concern, her fingers wrapped around the railing overlooking them.

Raine rose to her feet, walking towards the foot of the stairs. “Colette, I thought you had gone to bed.”

The girl shook her head. “I couldn’t go back to sleep, and besides, I...I was hoping I could talk to Lloyd for a bit.”

Raine’s eyes glanced over at Lloyd for a moment before turning back up to her. “Alright, but don’t be long. You still need to rest.”

The two traded positions as Raine made her way back to the girl’s room. Colette took a seat next to him on the couch, twiddling her thumbs together as she seemed to scour him for any residual distress. “How are you feeling?”

Lloyd took in another breath, giving his lip a gentle nibble. “A little better now, but I’m still worried about you.”

She nodded, sending a few strands of her sleep-groomed hair over her face. “I’m sorry for scaring you, Lloyd, but when I saw that monster attacking you when your back was turned, all I could think about was that you might be hurt.” Her fingers tucked the stray tresses behind her ear before resting on her chest. “I just wanted you to be okay.”

Lloyd sighed softly. “You dork, you don’t have to-”

Acknowledge her.

Raine’s wisdom replayed in his ears, and his normal habits gave way to her advice. “I mean, that was a really brave thing you did.”

“Really?”

He nodded, finding an enamorment in the way her eyes searched for his assurance and strength. “I spent our journey always thinking about how I was your protector, and that making sure you were safe was my responsibility. But yesterday, you actually saved me. I guess I didn’t realize you could protect me, too.”

Fluster and a cute awkwardness melded in her expression, her finger grazing her cheek before interlacing with her other hand once more. “The truth is, in that moment, I wasn’t really thinking about being a protector, or a Chosen, or anything else. I just saw this image of you on the ground after the monster had attacked you, and I…” Her voice hitched for a moment, but a shake of her head reset it. “I just didn’t want anything bad to happen to you. Nothing else really mattered.”

It was almost funny how he could imagine himself saying those exact same things to her, and it only solidified what it was Raine had been trying to tell him. “I feel that way about you a lot of the time, too. Sometimes I’ll worry that the next fight is the one where something goes wrong. Yesterday was...I was so determined to keep that promise of keeping you safe, and I guess I thought just by thinking I could keep that promise, nothing bad would happen.”

Colette’s palm landed on his hand, and he found solace in how her fingers curled into his. “You always do whatever you can, Lloyd, and I treasure how much you care.”

He intended his smile to reflect more joy at her words, but the demons born from the memories still whispered in his ear. “I realize that just thinking about making the promise doesn’t guarantee it’ll happen, and now I’m…” He felt the quiver in his hands returning, clenching them in the hopes of keeping them still. “I’m scared that it’ll happen again, but you’ll actually die next time.”

Die had no business sitting in the same sentence as her, and the word felt disgusting on his tongue as he said it. He was grateful for her other hand moving atop his; it took both of hers to cover his one, but the act was intimate and wonderful in a way that pushed back at the pain. She offered him a smile of warmth and admiration, her eyes glowing with that angelic endearment that he admired about her.

“Lloyd, you always try your best, no matter how big the challenge is or how scary the fight.” She inched closer to him until their hips pressed together. “If you’re worried about me being safe, just remember that you’re not the only one protecting me. Everyone in our group always does whatever they can to keep us all safe.” Her smile softened and suddenly her hand found its way onto his cheek. “I care about you too deeply to let anything happen, so I promise that I’ll keep getting stronger, too. That way you won’t have to worry about me as much, and I can keep you safe, too.”

Conviction rested in her voice; determination in her gaze. The esteem that he’d once held for the title of Chosen had long since dissipated upon learning its intended role in the world, but as she sat beside him now, a rush of pride overtook him. He was sure that there’d never been a nobler Chosen before her, someone so willing to care for and love those around her.

Love.

His throat hitched, pulling at the collar of his shirt. With the nightmares at ease it fully registered in his mind that he was alone with her, the sole audience to her words of reassurance. The fluster in his cheeks was no longer a symptom of his distress, and he wondered if the heat would transfer to the fingertips that caressed him.

“Thank you, Colette.”

Hers was now a blissful smile, and despite his alleviated heart, the idea that such a smile could be stolen from the world snuck into his head. Thoughts of her future, about the world they were trying to save and how she deserved to see it; endless images of how he wanted nothing more than for her to experience all of that consumed him. She’d believed all her life that she was meant to die; either the travels would kill her, or Cruxis would. He almost felt as if this journey wasn’t just about saving the world, but ridding Colette of her sacrificial notions.

There were some things she deserved to enjoy before she died. Things she deserved to know.

In the impulsive manner that had guided many of his actions, he rested his hands on her face and touched his lips to hers. In all his musings he’d never have predicted this would be how he’d tell her, but the way her palm slowly moved to cup his cheek, the way she sagged into him and returned the kiss, felt more vivid than any of his daydreams. He could swear he felt her mouth smile against his, and the way his heart fluttered around his chest compelled him to return the gesture.

Eventually time no longer sat still and he moved himself away from her. Moisture sat along the rim of her eyes, a new form of elation splayed on her face. “Lloyd…”

Without a word he eased his hands from her face to her arms, pulling her into him. He breathed her in, savoring the warmth of her body, alive and here with him. He didn’t know what the future would hold. Tomorrow could be another dangerous battle; the day after, even more hazardous. However, she wasn’t alone. She could protect herself, and she had him and everyone else ready to stand by her at a moment’s notice.

The inner demons wouldn’t beat him. She would be alright.

“I’ll protect you, no matter what.”

He felt her hands press into his back, deepening their embrace. She nodded into his neck, sending a shiver through him. “I know you will. And I’ll protect you too, Lloyd.”

Her voice was gentle, but quiet resolution rested on every syllable. He wasn’t ready to end the hug, but she didn’t seem to mind. Her presence, as close to him as she could be, was evidence that she wasn’t gone. Yesterday was proof that she wasn’t invincible, but it was also proof that she wasn’t going to die easily. Lloyd would make sure of that, as would everyone else in their party.

She would be alright.

xxxxx

I tried SO very hard with this story, and I’m REALLY happy and proud with how it came out. I wish I could’ve finished this for Colloyd Day, but I’m glad I took the time to really focus and try to give this story some of the love it needed. This (extended) week was so fun to participate it, and I’m really happy I did it!

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One:  Breaking the Curse

Chapter 9:  Birds and Bugs

Just because he was anticipating the breaking of the Curse didn't mean he was going to be stupid about it. There were things in his life that were important, things that he couldn't risk losing, and if a girl like Ashley Boyd could break into his shop, he had to assume others could as well. He'd disabled the camera so that he was safe, but the downside was that now he couldn't use it himself. So, his conclusion was: if it was important, it needed to be transferred elsewhere, somewhere he still considered safe. The morning after the robbery, he'd packed up Bae's shawl, Belle's chipped cup, and the long slim box that held his dagger. He'd gone home and taken those items with him. Now he had to decide what to do with them.

His house was a mess. It always had been. He had hazy memories of it being that way since his aunts died, which meant it had been that way since he'd arrived in Storybrooke. It didn't particularly bother him; he only lived in a few rooms. But it would have bothered Belle. She'd have set herself to cleaning it and keeping it organized. And so, he placed her cup nicely on a table that was more or less uncluttered, somewhere that was safe from his bad habits, a place he could see it every day, but it would appear to simply be a decoration to anyone else. Baelfire's shawl wasn't so much a shawl as it was a scrap of cloth. It looked like a rag, and when he reflected on the life that they'd lived before, he hated to admit it, but the truth was that it was a rag. He folded it as nicely as he could and then set it in a drawer in the kitchen reserved for the rags. It concealed itself.

But as for his dagger…that was going to be harder to hide. For now, it was stashed inside his pillowcase. He went to sleep feeling it beneath his head each night and woke each morning ever aware of its existence. There was something ironic and yet familiar about that. But the pillowcase wouldn't do, not forever. He needed to make alternative plans for it. Bae's shawl and Belle's cup were items he didn't want to lose. But losing the dagger was a lot more dangerous. And without magic, without the ability to constantly feel for it and be aware, he needed something much more creative for it.

He spent the next two days brainstorming ideas for where to hide the dagger and how to hide the dagger. Much like he'd found Maleficent if Regina was watching, he needed to come up with a time when he knew that she would be distracted. That should have been something easily handled, it should have been something he could rely on Dove for, but as of right now, he was having a hard time thinking he could rely on Dove for anything.

The previous night, he'd been in the shop when he'd felt the Earth shake, the power flicker, and heard the sounds of half a dozen car alarms blast to life. He'd sent Dove, who was still tailing Emma, to investigate, and he'd reported a few hours later that the explosion had been in one of the old town mines. Regina was using it as an excuse to finally shutter the mines. He'd thought nothing of it at the time. Something like that seemed too natural for it to be part of the Curse breaking. But he'd been shocked earlier today when Dove had sent him another message today. Henry had gone into the mines. Archie had gone with Emma and Graham to try and get Henry out of the mines when it appeared that somehow Archie and Henry had become trapped inside. Emma, along with half the town, was working to free the pair.

"And Regina is allowing such a thing?" he questioned through a quick text message.

"In all the confusion, I forgot to tell you. Emma Swan was the new deputy, appointed by Graham. Today's her first day."

That was all it had taken to anger him. He was paying Dove good money to watch the girl, paying him to be his eyes and ears. And he'd just "forgotten" to tell him that she'd found a job? A job working for the man that the Evil Queen shared her bed with? A job that gave her access to damn near anything and everything in Storybrooke?! If he'd had magic, Dove would have found himself on the other end of a tight fist. Fortunately for him, there wasn't magic. And he didn't dare show up at the mine site. He had a role to play. Being curious and caring were not words that were in Mr. Gold's dictionary. He couldn't show up at the scene because he wanted to watch, and he couldn't think of a reason to go down on his own.

Dove sent him messages throughout the day, messages that he must have thought he cared for. "Half the town is here working to free the boy." "They found an old shaft they're trying to use as access." "Boy and Doc pulled from the shaft." He didn't care for any of them except for the last one. "Going home," was all it had said. Going home? He nearly laughed out loud at that one. First, he'd forgotten to share crucial information. Then he'd decided to share unimportant information while being certain where the girl was. Now that she was going to be leaving, he was leaving her too. His thinking was backward. And now, to top the encounter off, he'd been sending messages to Dove telling him not to go, to keep watching the girl. Now that Henry was free, he needed to know what Regina's reaction was to her, what Henry wanted to do. But suddenly, Dove had stopped responding to him.

"Home," he'd said. It appeared that Dove needed some reminding of his job. Fortunately for him, he knew where Dove had disappeared to. And better yet, he owned the town, which meant that he happened to have a key to damn near everything, including Dove's apartment.

He sneered at the two useless puppets he kept in his shop, Marco's parents, not that he knew that at the moment. He kept that sneer the entire drive across town. He knocked once on the door, but there was no answer. He had a key. Legally he was the property owner, and if he was worried for the safety of his tenant, he was allowed access. For all he knew, the rush of water he heard coming through the pipes could have drowned out poor Dove's cries if he slipped in the shower. That would hold up in court.

Inside the apartment, he heard nothing but water running through the pipes. The shower was running. Dove's phone, listing his messages, and jacket were left haphazardly on the kitchen counter, along with a can of beer that appeared to have been pulled from the refrigerator. That was all good. That meant he'd be back before falling into bed.

And Dark Ones did love dramatic entrances.

He took a seat across the living room and waited for his time to come. He waited patiently. Patience was his gift, after all. Finally, the moment came. The water in the pipes stopped. There was a pause and then the sound of a door opening. Barely a second later, Dove strode out of the hallway, towel slung across his waist, still wet from the shower. He took it as an opportunity to turn the lamp by his chair on.

"Shit!" Dove cried, jumping nearly six feet and making a motion for his jacket. He preferred not to know, but he suspected he had a gun hidden there. "Fuck!" he cried again when he finally realized who it was. His shoulders relaxed a bit. He stepped away from his jacket. His chest continued to heave. "You scared the shit outta me."

He ignored the language. Nothing he hadn't heard or said before himself, though maybe not word for word. He refused, however, to smile gleefully at the result of his little surprise.

"Remind me why I hired you, Mr. Dove."

"What?"

"Why do I employ you?"

"Sir?"

"You see, I've been asking myself that question all day. Why do I hire you to give me necessary information, and why do I continue to pay you when you don't tell me that important information. Information like…like Emma Swan having a job."

Dove took a breath and shook his head, looking baffled. Did the boy not even understand what he'd done? "I only found out last night, after the mine explosion. Given the circumstances, I thought-"

"I don't pay you to think, Mr. Dove, I pay you to tell me what I do not know," he growled through his teeth. He held up Dove's cell phone, the one that had his unanswered messages on it. "I pay you to answer your phone!" he roared, throwing it at him. The boy managed to catch it before it could shatter on the wall behind him.

"I'm…I'm sorry. It was a long day up at the mines. I was filthy, I needed to-"

"You don't finish your work until I say you have," he interrupted, rising from his seat. "Emma Swan is your assignment. Instead of leaving her at the mine to handle your own…business, you left when she did. Do you even know where she is at this moment?"

"She was just as filthy as the rest of us. I assumed she'd rush right home and take a shower herself."

"This isn't a time for 'assuming,' Mr. Dove. This is a time for knowing. And I need to know everything about that girl. This is a warning…don't disappoint me again." And then, with his assistant good and rattled, he set his sights on the door and-

"Is there something going on?!" Dove shouted at him before he could leave.

He turned to face him again. "Something going on?"

"This is a sleepy town, Mr. Gold. And don't get me wrong, I love my job, but working for you is usually status quo, and now all of a sudden…this girl shows up in town. Storybrooke hasn't seen this much excitement since…I can't remember the last time it's ever seen this much excitement. It's just got me thinking there might be something going on…something you're not telling me."

"I was under the impression, Mr. Dove, that part of your employment included discretion. I don't ask you questions about where you get your information, and you don't ask me questions about the jobs that I have for you," he corrected. "If I'm wrong, perhaps it's time I found a new associate. One of your cousins, perhaps."

Dove stood up a little taller, a little prouder, a feat for someone wearing nothing but a canary yellow towel. "That won't be necessary, Mr. Gold. I'm just…curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat, Mr. Dove. Imagine what it'll do to a bird. Don't make me have to track you down again, Mr. Dove. I find it tedious work, the sort of work I'd prefer to pay you for."

Without another word, he left to go back to his car. But he didn't get far, barely halfway across the parking lot before he heard…crickets! Crickets! The sound caught him off guard, and for a few moments, he couldn't understand why until, off in the distance, he heard the clocktower chime the hour, a noise that was still foreign to him, and he realized. There had never been the sound of crickets in Storybrooke before. Coincidence? Like the mines? Or something more?

Angry as he was, he felt himself smile as he opened his door and slid into the driver's seat. First the clock, then David…now there were crickets. What next, he wondered. What next…