#' in which they both respond by staking their entire lives on each other and stuff. christ. aughhghggggggggggggg

[aimseytv]

please rant about bubbline, i need a win

the brilliance of bubbline has been vastly misunderstood for years and i’ll explain. people see bubbline as your standard sapphic couple with no real depth, people see the pairing and go ‘gfs’ and move on HOWEVER they are so much more than just girlfriends. they are two immortal beings who for years have been wrapped around the other fingers and have had a relationship based on miscommunication until wrapping that up during the stakes era (varmints s7 is what confirms this but we get into that later)

so the entirety of bubbline is based on miscommunication and you may be wondering: aimsey, how? well that’s because of the fact both of the pair believed the other was in the wrong. but, for us to discuss this, i must explain their relationship in its entirety. we understand how long their relationship has truly been going on for when there is a clip in obsidian distant lands (ODS) where bubblegum catches marcys rock tshirt, both when the pairing are younger or well “a longer time ago” - this shows how long they’ve truly been in each others lives. now, fast forward to the scene we get in ODS where marceline and bubblegum argue over the sense of power, as well as immaturity. we see marceline wanting to just hang with her girlfriend, while in a disruptive manner, meant no harm, and we see bubblegum attempting to focus on work while accidentally shutting marceline down in the process. that quickly escalates into a full blown argument, and quotes like “you’re acting like monster trash” is thrown at marceline which, marcy being an angsty little half demon, didn’t take too lightly in which she responded to the comment with a song that basically says “nvm. you’re not cool. i’m glad i woke up. fuck you and your candy kingdom” and it ends with bubblegum breaking up with marcy. sad right? you haven’t seen anything yet

so now we move on to the tv show. the first we see of the two is the episode ‘go with it’ where marcy is asked to help finn in his adventure to try and ask out the princess. you may be wondering “huh? but if bubblegum is her ex why would she help-“ WRONG! because she doesn’t help! she gives finn completely wrong advice which ends in finn getting thrown out of the candy kingdom. the interaction between the two during this episode is bitter, where we see marceline speak in a high pitched tone and say ‘hello bonnibel’ almost mockingly, in response to bubblegums ‘hey marceline..’ which is incredibly stand offifish. from the get go, we know something happened between them (and with obvious clues now we know the timeline but as a first time viewer, this random episode in s1 can confuse everyone because why do these two characters have beef we don’t know about?)

now, moving onto an important core episode in their timeline which is ‘what was missing’ in season 3. one of the most popular adventure time episodes, and one of the most popular bubbline moments where we see bubblegum and marcy being forced to be together due to finn and jake attempting to take down a “door lord” that includes all of the teams prized possessions. (tldr: little gremlin dude stole jake, finn, bubblegum and marcelines* top favourite and most memorable items.. we will get back to this shortly). anyway, they have to sing a song of truth to get passed and with a failed attempt, marceline tries and lets say she just unleashes all the resentment and anger she’s had towards bubblegum in the form of a song! she says stuff like “i wanna drink the red from your pretty pink face”, “sorry i don’t treat you like a goddess”, and “why should i be the one to make up with you.. so why do i want to?” - indicating she WANTS to. which is probably the first time bubblegum has heard this, because bubblegums reaction is very much just “:O” the entire time. anyway, song goes on, marcy blames bubblegum for her messing up (in reality marcy only messed up because she began saying she wants to bury bubblegum but that isn’t true so the door didn’t accept it. L). anyway, they make up soon enough when finn does his little finn thing and everything is fine.. until bubblegum tries to go against the door lord with a “calculation” which appears to be false and it messes everything up - marcy uses this failure of hers to kinda rub it in her face, watching the princess fail was a positive in marcelines eyes as she was used to seeing bubblegum put work before her so of course she will use any moment of bonnie messing up as a win. she says “looks like you aren’t as perfect as you thought..” which has bonnie respond with “i never said you had to be perfect!” .. OUCHIE!! this leads to them getting upset, finn doing a little sing song which actually opens the door, and them getting their stuff back.. YIPPEE! now, you may be wondering “what was the stuff bubbline had stolen from them?” WELLLL LEMME TELL YOU. bubblegums most prized possession was THE ROCK T-SHIRT that MARCY GAVE HER years ago. marceline blushes as she says “you.. kept the shirt i gave you?” and bubblegum replies “yeah it uh.. means a lot to me” and marcy asks why because bonnie never wears it, to which bonnie replies “i wear it all the time. as panama’s.” .. NOTHING MORE GAY THAN SLEEPING IN YOUR EXES SHIRT THEY GAVE YOU THERE IS NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION FOR THIS!!!! anyway, marcy didn’t actually *have* an item stolen from her and instead it seems she just wanted to hang out with the team, more importantly wanted to hang out with her pink haired ex girlfriend. good stuff!

anyway, next important interaction i’m highlighting comes from the season 5 episode ‘sky witch’ (there is a lot of smaller key moments but i’m jumping to this one okay moving on) anyway, there is a huge moment at the start of sky witch where bubblegum begins by.. sniffing the shirt marceline gave her.. as she wakes up, to then opening her closet to get ready for the day and we see a polaroid of the pairing IN THE CLOSET… you get my drift? anyway, it slowly moves on to marcy asking PB for help with something (in reality she needs PB to help her recover a teddy bear that was stolen from her that was given to her by her literal father figure during the mushroom war.. so it has a lot of significance. remember that). anyway, PB agrees after the tiniest of convincing and on they go! they go on this adventure, but we will skip to the end where PB magically gets the teddy back.. how? well, we don’t find out until the end of the episode where bubblegum actually traded the rock shirt marcy gave her all those years ago. why did that work you ask? because the sky witch works from the value of items, and not money value, but emotional significance.. SO IT MEANS THE ROCK SHIRT MARCY GAVE HER HAD MORE EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT AND SIGNIFICANCE THAN THE LITERAL TEDDY GIVEN TO MARCY DURING A LITERAL WAR FROM HER OWN FATHER FIGURE THAT ABANDONED HER!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

okay okay, need more information? i’ve got you! we will quickly move onto VARMINTS my favourite episode of all time. “why aimsey?” because it gives us all the answers and clues we were waiting for when it comes to PB and marcys relationship. we learn that bonnie was unaware of the reason as to why marcy believed they stopped talking and broke up, we see bonnie apologise for hurting marcy and shutting her out, and we see marceline accept her apology as the pair can finally move on and accept the past. after seven whole seasons we get closure baby! the episode is brilliant in millions of ways, as we see bonnie be vulnerable around marceline regarding her loss of the candy kingdom, we see marcy reconciling with bonnie as they travel through the tunnels the pair used to explore years and years before, and it’s just a very nice episode. we are hit with the infamous quote “bonnibel bubblegum, always so prepared.” to which bonnie replies in a stern tone “yeah, i have to be always so prepared, we can’t all just wing it!” which is almost a dig at marcelines free spirit nature, but not out of malice, out of jealousy. bonnie wishes she had that, and not the huge amount of responsibility she has been burdened with since she was barely old enough to understand what it means to be mature. marcy saying the words “is that why you stopped talking to me?” after hearing bonnie go on a rant about how responsibility is difficult always hits me in my heart because it proves marcy to this day, although being bitter about it, believes the reason bonnie shut her out was because bonnie preferred work over her and that was marcelines biggest fear (as we know from getting shut out from her mother, her father and being abandoned by simon). bonnie going “no?!” because she genuinely just didn’t even think to see that may have been the reason the two fell out; both of the pair believing it was the other that lead to the fallout and bonnie not realising it may have involved her a lot more than she thought and it wasn’t just down to marceline being immature. anyway, episode ends with bonnie apologising, marcy accepts it, and we get a very sweet moment where bonnie is vulnerable and explains she is exhausted and marcy allows her to sleep on her shoulder as she rests. very cute :)

okay now stakes the mini series is a whole new realm for stuff regarding the pairs relationship. the stakes mini series is highlighting marcelines relationship with vampirism, and is a very beautiful series i recommend everyone watches. it begins with marceline burning in the sun, and slowly moves on to her asking bonnie to help her with the procedure of turning her into a human because she no longer wants to be a vampire - huge thing to ask, and bonnie ensures she is sure, and they do the procedure. a moment from this i think about a lot is where bonnie says this while doing the procedure regarding the fact marcy will no longer be immortal: “and when you die, i’ll be the one who puts you in the ground”. i think it’s just a nice quote. anyway, there are so many key moments from stakes but i’ll highlight important ones because it’s 5 episodes jam packed of bubbline but another moment is where they are searching for one of the vampires to hunt (this’ll make more sense if you watch it but TLDR: the procedure also unleashed all the vampires marcy has defeated in her years of growing up). PB and marcy are doing jumping jacks, and marcy is explaining a dream she had where in the dream marcy was all old, but PB was still “nice and pink” - meaning marcy was dreaming of her immortality being taken away, and dreaming about how in her future when she’s old, she’s with PB and she’s grown old with her (aww). bubblegum replies “you think i’m nice?” and it’s a very sweet moment where the pair blush. marcy then explains she has a weird feeling in her stomach, and PB asks if it’s just fear and marcy explains she knows what fear feels like already, and then goes “maybe it’s.. love?” regarding what the feeling is while looking at bubblegum and ITS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT THAT DRIVES ME INSANE BECAUSE HOLY!!!! MOLY!!!!!!!! she was just hungry (lmao) and we move on! another scene is where marceline gets hurt badly, and bonnie is begging for her to wake up as she holds marcys lifeless body in her arms and it’s just a very emotional scene of bonnie begging her to wake up when she thinks marcy is about to die and it’s just very sad and beautiful. i’m gonna quickly move on towards the end of stakes as we have more to cover but during the end, marcy gets turned back into a vampire but explains she has learned a lot and she thanks bubblegum, and says the beautiful quote “thanks for helping me grow up. now i guess we get to hang out together forever” and bonnie blushes in return and it’s just such an AAHHHHH scene!!!!!

now, we are rushing towards the finale (i’m missing some very key moments but i’ve been writing this for an hour straight without stopping i will fill in the blanks later) but basically during the final episode, marcy stops bonnie and begs her not to go to war - bonnie replies she has to, and in this moment you can see marcy more so terrified that this will result in her losing bonnie for the second time due to work and she doesn’t want this. its canon at this point the pair are dating again, and we see them chit chat before moving on as the battle starts. fast forward to bonnie getting really injured, and in result of this marceline loses her literal shit and punts the monster that killed bonnie after believing her girlfriend just got smothered and really badly injured - after this, marcy is out of breath and we see bonnie sit up and whisper ‘marcy?’ in a soft tone and marcy flies over just overjoyed she is okay. marcy says “even when we weren’t talking i was scared something bad would happen to you and i wouldn’t be there to protect you” and it’s such a raw line where it’s just obvious throughout all these years marceline never truly moved on from her. marcy and her giggle and then bubbline share their first on screen kiss that made thousands of gays across the globe pass away!!!

then, we have the beautiful obsidian distant lands that gives us insight into their very healthy relationship as we learn a lot more about the pair, and we just get some beautiful shared moments between them and even them canonically calling each other girlfriends which will never not be engraved in my brain!

this was everything from the top of my head (they will be my number one hyperfixation whether i like it or not until i pass away) but yeah! tldr: miscommunication lead to them not speaking for a very long time when the pair both just wanted to be loved but didn’t know how to balance their own stuff on top of loving the other. the miscommunication lied with bonnie throwing herself into her work instead of giving marceline attention, ultimately losing marcys trust in the process, and where marceline being a free spirit lead to bonnie just not being able to work like that as she “isn’t built like that” (her own quote “people get built different. we don’t need to figure it out, we just gotta accept it”. despite it being about her brother, i like to apply it to her also here). and marceline not giving PB the credit of her being a literal ruler burdened with responsibility. both were too young i’d say, but them growing up together and allowing the other to heal in their own ways lead them to each other again :)

THAT IS THE HISTORY OF BUBBLINE BY AIMSEYTV

[skrunksthatwunk]

THROWINF MYSELF DOWN A CCHIMENY SO I CAN DIE SLOWLY IN THE CORBWEBS

YEAHH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

god im glad you're so Completely Normal about them im going to hold you to that talking about them for hours thing bc every time you add to this i think of like eight other things i've been meaning to talk about or haven't even thought of. horrible beautiful entropic kuwameshi discourse wherein brainrot begets brainrot. we are mad scientists shaking hands and everything is on fire and we're eprobably married or something. ok here goes. first things first: fUCKIGNucjgun. ourhfhh. secondly: the yusuke side of kuwameshi makes me want to rip my teeth out like yusuke thinks no one loves him and then boom the wake happens and i think if he wasn't so [gestures vaguely] emotionally stunted he'd maybe think a little more about what it means that kuwabara kept running back to him again and again even if it meant limping away and what it means to him to be loved for no reason. without anything to gain. he never had anything to offer anyone really he was just a dirty scrappy smart-mouthed kid so no one loved him (or so he felt) and yet here is this fucking guy who just loves the everloving shit out of him and he's kind of great? he's kind of an amazing person?? he's kind of wonderful and strange and a doofus and noble and fun and oh well i guess i have to make sure nothing happens to him because i could kill everybody in the world and then myself and it wouldn't make a dent in the vengeance debt i'd be owed. in a bro way of course.

hes fucking unforgivably ridiculous is my point. god. hhhhhhhhh

minutes away from smashing in all my neighbors' windows with a baseball bat over this but instead i will say YEAH THE KUWABARA MASOCHISM LINE. I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT. and not just because of my penchant for weird homoerotic dudes-fighting media but because yusuke too one look at him thought "oh this guy again" and said "you're one of those intricate rituals guys aren't you" with lethal force. if i was kuwabara and he told me that i think i actually would have died on the spot that would have killed me. he's right of course but still

OH AND THE TETHER TO HUMANITY THING see team urameshi (minus genkai) each fall along this little punnet square im gonna make now hold on save to drafts

ok it's an oversimplification but this creates a sort of gradient where kuwabara is the most human/representative of humanity and hiei is the most demon/representative of demonkind and kurama and yusuke fall into more ambiguous/transitional zones over the course of the story, where what exactly they are is a little more complicated. kurama's obviously human-adjacent and his character's about that ambiguity the whole time that's like. literally how we're introduced to him, but yusuke becomes demon-like/ambiguous much more distinctly (though he is always far more sympathetic towards demons and morally gray ppl/outcasts than anyone else in the square, which skews him more demon-aligned than kuwabara, if we wanna think of it that way (see yusuke befriending previous opponents/enemies of both demon and human varieties while kuwabara tends to only skew human, with kurama being an exception and hiei being a much more difficult/begrudging exception (just like how yusuke is an exception to hiei and kuwabara is a begrudging exception to him. hiei and kuwabara's foilship on this front is insane to me but i digress)).

and once yusuke wakes up and says it's mazokuing time and atavisms all over the place kuwabara's the last one that's purely objectively distinctly human and that isolates him and makes him feel like he can't follow. they're all going back to demonland to do demon shit and even if he could keep up with them he knows he wouldn't belong, wouldn't match with what they were or what they'd become. and he doesn't want to feel out of place in team urameshi any more than he already does (hiei's actually in a similar boat, reflected in his hesitancy to engage with humans, humanity, the team, and friendship kinda broadly. it's an insecurity they both share, though much of the source of that also comes from being rejected for being seen as a bloodthirsty monster, something he shares with yusuke and that is addressed. again, yusuke's more gray position on things makes it easier for him to get hiei, whereas kuwabara (as much as he's looked down upon as a bloodthirsty punk by some) clings to his honor code as a way of distinguishing himself and proving them wrong, and thus isn't really able to reach hiei. but hiei has his own honor code and shows surprise and dismissal at the idea of humans having honor codes. again, this is something they have in common, that anti-the-other-side bias despite having a good bit in common. oh my god. anyway), see his reaction to finding out genkai died and no one told him, etc. he is yusuke's primary tether to humanity and his old self as focused on by the story (as well as keiko, though with different emphases) and they both let yusuke go. yusuke leaves and kuwabara, for once, does not follow him. he needs to move on. (it's a lot like how keiko is portrayed. yusuke's shit wears on them both so so much ough)

so when kuwabara finally chooses not to follow, to stop chasing after yusuke, in effect trying to reform his identity around himself rather than yusuke and living his own life and accepting that as much as he loves him it's not meant to be, it means that the healthiest thing for him is to stay at home. to be away from yusuke because he means so much to him, because he's nothing without him, so maybe he can love him in a way that hurts less. and it sucks. it's brutal. and kuwabara pushes on anyway.

and after all that, after taking some time to figure himself out (and in turn giving kuwabara some space to figure himself out), yusuke decides to come back. he chooses to chase after kuwabara, to rejoin his loved ones, to return and love and be loved again. to accept the world that treated him like shit and never thanked him for risking him and his friends' lives to save it and that he resented and that he ran from. he comes back home to kuwabara. he gives up fighting (for the most part) like he did. he settles down. he comes home, because humanity and love are worth it. because kuwabara and all he represents and all he is is worth it.

and ain't that fuckin peachy that kuwabara's love is finally returned (both in that he comes home and yusuke's care from him is actually expressed outside of life-or-death situations)? (head in my hands screaming bawling my eyes out)

i don't mean to say "humans nice demons bad therefore it's good yusuke returned home" btw because like. frankly i have watched the show and am capable of basic reading comprehension. that's the whole damn point of the demon human thing is that it's not that simple. etc. what i like about yusuke returning home and returning to kuwabara and humanity is more that it shows him coming to love and accept the broken fucked up world he came from.

yusuke comes home to live with the people who love him in spite of every reason he has not to. because the people are worth loving even when they spit on him and the world is worth saving even when he's never thanked for it. yusuke's not really an honorable guy (not in an honor-code sense), but he gives people chances. he gives people chances over and over because he knows what it's like to be dismissed and mistrusted and he gives the world a chance over and over and over and he is rewarded for it as much as he is punished for it and goddamn. he keeps trying so much he comes back from the dead twice. sheesh. and yusuke coming home is him giving demonhood and the demon world a chance and trying to listen to himself and figure out if that's the place he belongs and deciding "no, because most of the people i love are in the human realm. so i'm going back." like he has from the beginning, yusuke chooses his loved ones. he has people he cares for in the demon realm and that demonness is a part of him, and i think he accepts that. but these are the people he wants to be around the most, the people he loves the most, the place where he wants his roots to stay.

he goes back to the human realm because the things he loves the most, more than endless fights or adventure or strange new landscapes, novelty and impermanence and relative anonymity, is here. being known and loved. loving and knowing and staying long enough to watch things change and grow and die.

he goes back because those things that are so precious to him can't follow. or, in the case of kuwabara, they weren't willing to follow.

point is the show ends at a perfect-as-it-could-be place for kuwameshi actually becoming something more healthy and balanced for the both of them. love that can express itself in ways besides sacrificing yourself for them and listening to them mourning you in the most excruciating way possible and then not talking about it afterwards. head in my hands AGAIN they're esufkucingsdl;jfasdfd. hell on earth. phew

thinking about how when hiei kurama and kuwabara were trying to bust out of itsuki's interdimensional monster guy and kurama was like ok. itsuki we're going to torture you until you let us out. so we can fight sensui 4-v-1 kuwabara was so desperate to save yusuke that he was fine with both of these plans that he otherwise would have found so dishonorable he woulda died to avoid them. but not if it's for yusuke. and when sensui kills him anyway kuwabara's also fine with 3-v-1 if it means he gets to avenge yusuke, even if it means humanity basically gets wiped out because of it. kurama and hiei are the same, but it's kuwabara who most consistently risks his life by clinging to his honor code, and here is probably the one time he breaks it. bc he can't lose yusuke again. if he doesn't even know who he is without yusuke then how is he supposed to be the same guy with the stupid honor code? like that matters now. he can't be the bigger man if he's barely even a person without him. jeeeezzzzz

[bogunicorn]

I posted 2,242 times in 2022

That's 736 more posts than 2021!

260 posts created (12%)

1,982 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sandraugiga

@jellydishes

@potatowitch

@dingdongyouarewrong

@dreadfutures

I tagged 2,238 of my posts in 2022

#queue - 1,249 posts

#dragon age - 628 posts

#funny - 464 posts

#da fanart - 399 posts

#dai - 352 posts

#bog post - 283 posts

#truth - 222 posts

#da2 - 178 posts

#solas - 168 posts

#the inquisitor - 136 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#bw and the da team specifically are very very good at creating characters with flaws and prejudices that are emotionally realistic

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

the "soldier boy good homelander bad" hot takes and/or confusion is predicated entirely on the fact that jensen is more fuckable than antony

123 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#4

oh also culturally fenris would have more in common with dorian than he would with someone like krem, because after he lost his memory, most of his time was spent with danarius and around danarius's high class social circle. it's why he sounds Like That and is generally well-informed on how tevinter is actually ruled. he was actively prevented from learning to read, but he still took in information like a sponge and learned enough qunlat to effectively communicate with native speakers just by hearing it over a short period of time. he didn't spend his time before escaping just plugging his ears and tuning out.

125 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

listen just

just

kaz and inej are just the peak of pining. they desperately want intimacy but what stops them from reaching out for it or accepting it is all wrapped up and internal, caused by situations entirely out of their own control, and they're both at a point in their respective recoveries where they have the desire for emotional vulnerability and physical touch but not the ability to tolerate it. and it's all internal shit they barely articulate to themselves, let alone each other.

so you get the over-the-top drama of the two of them consistently risking their physical safety or deep-seated morals for each other, or fucking up in a high stakes situation because they're too busy thinking about each other to concentrate, but also one time kaz touched her bare skin and immediately got so embarrassed he went "I'M GONNA GO DIE NOW DON'T FOLLOW ME" and inej responded by stalking him and spending pages of narration basically saying "god he's so fucking stupid, we're married now".

164 notes - Posted December 11, 2022

#2

No spoilers but what I had thought was Dorian's voice in the trailer is actually Matt Mercer doing such a terrible French accent that he sounded like Ramon, which is infinitely funnier.

174 notes - Posted December 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

(ETA: I stuck a read more on this because my #1 post of this year is about darkfic/triggery kink fic lmao anyway proceed)

when we get into conversations of "liking this fictional thing means you support it IRL/want to do it to real people", i immediately get a red flag off the person making that argument.

because, like... i write a LOT of stuff i have no interest in doing IRL. scary stuff, kinky stuff, a lot of super mundane stuff, too. my physical sex life doesn't resemble the smut i write at all, even a little because my boundary between real life and fiction is solid. and it's not like a "oooh i'm so good at resisting temptation" thing, i mean like, i write a lot of oral sex scenes and have zero interest in sucking a dick IRL. i write a lot of dark subject matter and unhealthy relationships, and i'm living in a happy, pretty boring marriage that i wouldn't change for anything.

but someone who goes hard on "you like (noncon/incest fic/idk fucking teacher/student storyllines), you must want to (assault someone/fuck your sibling/bone down with your teacher or student)" stuff, it makes me think that person has a shaky boundary and they're not very safe to be around. i become deeply worried about their impulse control and their ability to contextualize.

i've said it before, but i'd honestly rather spend my time with people who write triggery darkfic but have basic respect for others vs. people with a "good and virtuous" media and fanfic diet who can't shut the fuck up about all those kinks no one is forcing them to read.

5,617 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sineala]

A Few Thoughts About Hurt/Comfort

I have been asked this month to make a post about hurt/comfort in Avengers comics. And I love h/c -- I actually have a massive number of WIPs right now that are h/c -- so I am very happy to talk about it! Anyway, this is not really all that planned out and this mostly turned into an excursus on Tony Stark's pain. I'm sure you're all surprised.

Like pretty much everyone else, I'm sure, I have found that everything lately has been... pretty tough. And the coping mechanism that really got me through last year and this year was reading and writing a lot of h/c, on the theory that, however lousy a day I'm having, I can absolutely make sure that Tony Stark has a worse one. And then I can make sure he gets hugs. Wish fulfillment? Why, yes. (Once at Hallmark I was trying to find a "get well soon" card, forgot what it was called, and described it to my wife as "a hurt/comfort card.") I think Marvel Comics -- the Avengers side, in particular -- is an interesting canon for h/c for a lot of reasons. Though, honestly, if you asked me to recommend you, a hurt/comfort fan, a new fandom, I would probably just hand you some Starsky & Hutch DVDs. Go watch "The Fix" and get back to me later. If you like that, there's way more where that came from. But there's still lots to love in Marvel! Superhero comics are really a goldmine as far as the hurt side of h/c. Because superheroes, and you probably have noticed this, get hurt a lot. They get hurt repeatedly, in fantastical ways that are probably impossible in real life both physically and emotionally (at least, I don't think anyone's invented mind control yet), and even the heroes without superhuman healing powers tend to get physically hurt a whole lot worse than actual people can take. Currently in Iron Man comics, Tony has a broken back and is dealing with this by locking himself into the armor as a backboard and injecting himself with massive doses of painkillers. He's busy! He's got stuff to do! He doesn't have time to lie around and heal! So, basically, if you name a kind of pain that you would like to see happen to a character, it's probably happened to superheroes. Multiple times. The downside, though, is that comics do not really deliver that well when it comes to the comfort part of h/c. They could. It's not inherent to the medium that they don't. But because of the serial nature of comics and also the fact the primary audience is dudes who want to read about people in spandex punching each other, a lot of the time they don't really feel the need to provide closure and write about people dealing with any of the hurt. (Raise your hand if you're still annoyed with the end of Hickman's Avengers run.) But at the same time, I think that's a quality that makes Avengers ripe for h/c fanfic. Because, generally speaking, fandom likes to provide the things that canon doesn't, and fandom is more than happy to provide the comfort. If you enjoy canonical h/c in comics, I think you really can't go wrong with Iron Man. One of the big innovations of modern Marvel Comics was the concept that heroes would also suffer from relatable human problems, and in practice what this means is that a lot of heroes start with a fully-loaded angst-ridden backstory and origin story, ripe for h/c. So Tony starts out by incurring a heart injury that he fully expects is going to kill him, which he responds to by vowing he won't get close to anyone so they won't be sad when he dies, and throughout the early Silver Age is constantly on the brink of death as his heart nearly gives out on him practically every issue. And then even after his heart gets (mostly) better, there are various plots involving his armor being detrimental to his health and him choosing to fight on anyway. It's hard for me to think of another superhero hitting that particular variety of h/c in exactly the same way. Sure, superheroes risk their lives constantly, because this is how superhero comics work, but Tony is the only one I can think of who is this constantly this badly off, physically. Like, think of all the other heroes who have had a continual solo presence as fan favorites across Marvel history -- Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man, Wolverine, maybe even Deadpool. You know what those guys all have? Healing factors! For the most part, they are not running around continually on the verge of death, and while there are certainly memorable arcs involving several of them being severely injured and/or dead, you really have to work at it. It's not their constant state of affairs, whereas Tony is the kind of superhero who shows up to a fight already bleeding out under his armor. Yeah, I know Extremis gave him a healing factor. But he didn't have it very long, and also he did some extremely dangerous things while he did have it; I'm pretty sure I've never seen Wolverine saying that he'll just solve a problem by cutting off his own foot. So, anyway, yeah, there are a bunch of good arcs involving h/c for Tony. If you're looking for physical injury, he has a whole bunch of heart problems over the years, gets several new hearts, then ruins his brain, et cetera. That level of hurt is basically the background pain of Tony's life; every so often, his heart will get damaged or he'll have to live in the armor or the armor will be killing him, et cetera. If you're looking for more unusual trauma, I am, as always, going to rec Manhunt, a relatively obscure arc in late v3 (IM v3 #65-69) in which Tony has an extremely bad week. His tech is stolen and used to bomb a building. Then he gets shot in the chest. Then while he's at the hospital a nurse tries and fails to poison him, and she then tries to beat him to death. Then he checks himself out of the hospital and a helicopter shoots missiles at him. Then he becomes a fugitive from justice. And then, oh, yeah, he has to fight the Mandarin. It is... a lot. (Volume 3 of Iron Man is pretty good as far as h/c possibilities. You've got a lot of physical pain, Carol's drinking arc, the Sentient Armor, both DreamVision arcs, and Manhunt. Manhunt is finally supposed to be out in trade this month, by the way.) There are of course the drinking arcs, which probably count as their own type of hurt. But if you haven't read the second drinking arc (IM #160-200), please do. Marvel likes to up the stakes on events (Fear Itself, Secret Empire) by making Tony drink, and it does work, I think. I feel like I've spoken at length about Tony's drinking elsewhere so I don't really want to rehash it all here. And then there's the emotional pain. Angst and drama is something that happens to a whole bunch of characters, yes, especially in comics, but somehow Tony seems to end up with possibly more than his fair share of it. Fandom likes to make a lot of Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, so much so that you might think, if you didn't know canon, that this was just fandom running with a throwaway mention of Tony's terrible childhood and making it worse. But, no, canon really does go there with a reasonable amount of frequency. Howard's actual first appearance is in a flashback where he's ordering teenage Tony to break up with his girlfriend because she's the daughter of one of Howard's business rivals. And then we get into the verbal abuse, and the physical abuse, and the time Howard made Tony take his first drink, and the part where Howard was a demon in hell who Tony fought while he insulted him. And more! Currently, in canon, Howard is alive again and is in league with Mephisto for the express purpose of ruining Tony's life. Also when Tony was a baby, Howard tried to trade him to Dracula. I think you can make an argument that fandom is actually showing restraint when compared to canon. Tony also has a whole lot of Terrible Exes whose presence and/or former presence in Tony's life can be used for a lot of hurt. If you've read any amount of fanfic, you probably know that the exes who get the most play in fandom are Sunset Bain and Tiberius Stone -- not that Tony and Ty were ever canonically a couple, of course, but fandom is definitely enamored of this idea. Ty and Sunset both have relatively similar interactions with Tony in canon, in that they are both liars and emotional abusers, heavy on the gaslighting, with the purpose of becoming more successful than Tony. They both also attempt to murder Tony, although this is after he figures out they're evil, at least. (Yes, I know, this is not how either of them usually appear in AUs.) Tony also has a bunch of exes who also have just straight-up tried to murder or otherwise hurt him, sometimes while they are dating, and sometimes before Tony dates them: Whitney Frost, Indries Moomji, Kathy Dare, and Maya Hansen come to mind. There are probably more I'm not thinking of! But, yes, if you want to write about a guy in a series of terrible relationships, please consider Iron Man comics. If mind control is one of your favorite flavors of hurt, Tony's pretty good for that too. We all know about The Crossing. I suppose when I say "mind control" I mostly mean "armor control" because there are an awful lot of plots where someone else makes Tony's armor do whatever they want it to do and Tony is along for the ride -- Demon in a Bottle, Sentient Armor, and Execute Program are the first things that come to mind. There is also a fairly obscure What If that is What If Iron Man Lost The Armor Wars in which Justin Hammer apparently really wants Tony in a mind control collar to take off all his clothes and lounge around in his underwear. No, really. I think a lot of pain for Tony often revolves around his issues with control, generally -- his alcoholism comes into play here again. The entire aftermath of Civil War is also notable for its propensity to hurt Tony over and over and over. Is he stoically soldiering on through his grief after Steve dies? Hell, no! He cries, like, six separate times. He 100% blames himself for Steve's death. It's great. Everybody loves The Confession and the funeral in Fallen Son, but one of my personal favorites is Avengers/Invaders, in which Tony is confronted with a time-traveling Steve from WWII and in order not to screw up the timeline, he can't tell Steve he knows him. He is clearly not coping well. He shuts himself in a room with a giant wall of pictures of Steve! Also there's a part where he has to try to convince Steve he can trust him and he ends up having to tie Steve to a chair to talk to him, and Steve looks at him and asks, "Who did you kill to get where you are?" and I feel like that is probably one of the worst moments in Tony's life. No wonder he gave himself amnesia. So now we might want to ask, okay, but why is hurting Tony in fanfiction so much fun? I mean, I can tell you why I think it's fun. I can't speak for anyone else. One reason is that he is very emotional and very affected by everything he does. Sometimes you will see people complaining that the heroes of m/m fanfic cry too much and this is not realistic. This is not a problem if you're writing Tony! He can cry as much as you want and it's perfectly in character. I don't think it would be as fun to hurt him if he didn't express so much of his pain. But he does. He also feels guilty, and for me that's a very satisfying character element. If he were well-adjusted and didn't blame himself for so many things, it wouldn't be nearly as fun as watching him blame himself for everyone whose death he thinks he is responsible for, whether or not he is. And then he just keeps going, and it's, y'know, nice to watch him be resilient, too. So, I guess, I think hurting him is interesting because it's easy to hurt him, his weak points are pretty obvious, and he reacts a lot. Steve doesn't hurt quite as much as Tony does, in canon. It's certainly possible to hurt him -- I mean, they did actually kill him after Civil War, after all -- but I don't think the canonical patterns of hurting him are as numerous. Obviously deseruming Steve is a fairly popular go-to in terms of physical hurt; he's been deserumed at least three times that I know of. I think's easy to see the appeal there of taking a character who is fairly physically resilient and making him... much less so. Certainly Marvel seems to see the appeal. But other than that I don't think he has any other really common way to get physically injured. Unlike Tony, whose origin story is basically "oh no, I've acquired a disability," Steve's origin story is "I drank a serum that cured all my disabilities." Which, I mean, great wish fulfillment but there's not really as much there to poke at. Pretty much all of Steve's pain is emotional, but, unlike Tony, his pain isn't often specifically in response to someone directly, purposefully hurting him. Hickman's Avengers run is a big exception, yes. His pain seems to come up most often as a kind of situational angst. He feels like a man out of time. He feels out of touch with the modern era, with people his own age. He feels guilt because he feels responsible for Bucky's death. He feels like he can't trust the government and therefore he can't be Captain America. He worries that he doesn't know how to have a normal life. And, yes, these are deep and important worries but it's different than, like, Indries Moomji dumping Tony with the intent to make him sad enough to start drinking. Very few of Steve's villains want to personally ruin Steve's entire life the way Tony's villains do; mostly they just want to do things like bring back the Nazis. In terms of Steve's potential for h/c, I think Steve is harder to hurt than Tony is. Physically, he is definitely harder to hurt. You can deserum him, sure, but unless you want everything you write to be a deseruming fic you're probably not going to want to do that more than a couple of times. And if you want to hurt him physically while he has the serum, you have to hurt him hard. Usually past the point where a regular human would ever survive it. He's also harder to break, emotionally, than Tony is -- which means it's very satisfying when you can get him to break, but this is a guy who's only cried twice (that I remember) in canon. So if you want to get him to cry, you really, really have to wreck him, and he doesn't have as many obvious weak spots. He also doesn't generally sit around blaming himself for things that aren't his fault, and the whole "stewing in guilt" genre of plots for him basically came down to "he was sad that he thought Bucky's death was his fault," and that's really the biggest regret he seems to have, and also Bucky's not dead anymore. The Steve/Tony relationship itself, I would think, is also appealing to h/c fans because canon provides a lot of ways for them to hurt each other. Some people only ship pairings who would never, y'know, take turns beating each other half to death in major event comics. (And for a lot of Marvel Comics history, that was also Steve & Tony, so if you want them to be BFFs who have never fought, you can just set your fic earlier.) They have definitely hurt each other both physically and emotionally, so if you're looking for something easy and satisfying as a h/c fan, you can just read or write something where they... make up. What about Marvel characters other than Steve and Tony? Surely some of them are angsty, yes? Well, yes, but also it depends on the particular flavor of angst that you like. If you like the way Tony hurts, you may very well enjoy Doctor Strange comics, because they have a very similar attitude towards life -- they are both former alcoholics whose origin stories involve physical disabilities, who routinely make tactical decisions that negatively affect their continued existence and/or happiness a whole lot. It's very much an "I must suffer alone in the dark and no one will ever know what I am doing to save the world but it's the right thing to do" sort of vibe. Like, you can read comics where Strange is lying in hell with two broken legs, hallucinating that Clea has finally come to save him. Strange's biggest fear, akin to Tony's control issues, is basically that one day he's going to be an asshole again, so he's out there trying as hard as he can to do good. Also, if you like tentacles, he has all of them. I mean that. Carol also occasionally hits similar angst spots, and her drinking arc is great. A lot of people like Natasha, too; I have read zero Black Widow comics but I get the impression many people enjoy her brand of angst. The mutant metaphor is a little different in terms of overall vibe, but some people really like it as a source of angst -- the whole "protecting a world who hates and fears them" thing. It may not work for you, but if you like your hurt to include things like systemic oppression, go pick up some X-Men comics. Start with something like God Loves Man Kills. I feel like I liked this sort of thing a lot more as a teenager but that I kind of aged out of liking the mutants quite so much. It's also worth mentioning that not everything that hits the spot in one universe will be the same in the others, and I'm mentioning this because I feel like I have to say something about MCU Bucky. MCU fandom seems to get a lot of mileage out of Bucky's guilt about being the Winter Soldier, everything he was forced to do, et cetera. I have definitely read my share of those fics, and FATWS sure went right for that angst too. But as far as I can tell, he doesn't hit the same way at all in 616. And I like him a lot in 616; I'm always pleased when he shows up on a team. (He was so good in Strikeforce. Everyone was so good in Strikeforce.) But the thing is, 616 Bucky is, basically, phenomenally well-adjusted, given everything he's gone through, and I'm including the time he wrestled a bear in a gulag. He gets over having been the Winter Soldier, and now he's just, y'know, a guy with a cool arm who likes to bring guns to every fight to horrify his teammates, and he snarks at Clint. If you're looking for that angst, that is really not him these days. He's all better. So pretty much all that is canon. So what do we do in fandom for h/c? Well, as far as I can tell, a decent amount of it is canon-based or very canon-close -- there are a whole lot of stories exploring the angst of Civil War or Hickman's Avengers run. Tony's drinking comes up a fair amount, and if one of Tony's Evil Exes comes back to haunt him, it's pretty much only Tiberius Stone. I don't think I've read a lot of fic with Steve getting deserumed; it doesn't seem as popular in fandom as in canon. When Steve gets hurt, he tends to just get physically whumped pretty hard, and there's a fair amount of that for Tony too, but of course Steve can take more. There's also a thriving, uh, subgenre of pain involving Hydra Steve doing terrible things to Tony, presumably the terrible things he would have wanted to do to Tony in canon if Tony had had a flesh body. There's the usual kinds of h/c setups that appear in basically every fandom as well -- sickfic, whump, dub-con/non-con. You get the idea. But since fandom in general likes to take specific inspiration from canon, there's a lot of fic where the hurt tends to resemble things that happen more in canon. Like, I feel like comics fic probably has more tentacle fic and more mind control than canons that don't come pre-stocked with those. Probably everybody has a whole lot of "tied up by bad guys," though. And then, of course, fandom brings the comfort that canon does not. This is true in pretty much every fandom -- I mean, you aren't going to find a lot of actual canons where Character A saves Character B from mortal peril and then there's gay sex -- but, like I was saying, comics don't provide a lot of closure before it's onto the next thing. Usually with a different creative team, who has no interest in wrapping up anything from the last team. Steve and Tony talked about the incursions exactly once after Secret Wars and nobody mentioned the part where Steve spent several months trying to hunt Tony down and kill him. Tony is never going to remember the events of Civil War. Hydra Steve died ignominiously in a fire and no one has ever talked about him again. Honestly, if you're looking for a way to get some comfort in your fanfic, picking an event, any event, and just having the characters talk about it will be way more than any of them get in canon. I feel like honestly that can often be a pretty satisfying to read. And even though comics canon physically hurts characters pretty often and pretty badly, they also often skip right past the recovery. Maybe you'll get one page of a character in a hospital bed at the end of the story arc. Maybe you won't. Demon in a Bottle has one splash page of Tony going through alcohol withdrawal and then he's all better. I think Manhunt skips to Tony getting out of the hospital at the end. That's just not a story that they want to tell very often. The second drinking arc is notable in that it devotes almost as many issues to Tony's recovery as it does to getting him to rock-bottom. Similarly, Steve is done with his Nomad angst way way faster than you probably think he is (though The Captain does go in for a fair number of issues). So one of the things we often want to do in fandom is focus on all the bits that canon skips over, both in the "why did no one ever mention this story arc ever again" way and the "wow, so how long are they in the hospital after that" way. That's really all I can think of about h/c! I'm off to write some more of it!

[davids-cartoon-corkboard]

Here’s more of that “Raph is a system” compilation post, this one has less old stuff and more new stuff. (Part 1 is here) (You’re reading Part 2) (Part 3 is here)

---

While one can only develop DID at a young age, new alters can form afterwards at any age; specifically, they form to deal with situations existing alters aren’t equipped for. So when and why did Mind Raph form?

Leo and Host Raph mind-melded in “Insane in the Mama Train”, so it makes sense that Leo was later able to call on MR in “Spa Day”. But how does that explain MR first appearing in the earlier episode “Nothing But Truffle” to help Mikey and Todd? The turtles are mystic sci-fi supersoldier protagonists, so it’s feasible they could subconsciously call on each other from time to time before learning the mind meld technique!

Mikey did briefly manifest to encourage Donnie near the end of “Breaking Purple”. It makes sense that the turtles would call on Raph the most, since he’s the oldest brother. But there’s A Lot going on in Raph’s brain, such that he probably wouldn’t want his brothers to start poking around in there. He’s supposed to be the solid, dependable leader, they shouldn’t have to worry about him! MR formed as a sort of “buffer”; he’s the one who answers when his brothers call so that none of the baggage leaks through. This means MR is pretty similar to HR, but he leans more towards the “helpful oldest brother” side of things. While HR was freaking out in “Raph’s Ride-Along”, MR was able to come up with solid plans and (mostly) stay calm. It only failed in the end due to cartoon shenanigans and cops being bastards.

None of the turtles react to this “call-and-respond” ability with surprise, suggesting they’ve been able to do it for a while. Most human kids develop fine motor skills and basic critical thinking at eight-ish years old, so it tracks that the turtles’ mystic abilities would also start to develop at that life stage; perhaps at six or seven years old for them.

He probably manifests without being called sometimes, to say “you should eat something before you head out”, or “weren’t you supposed to be in bed two hours ago?”, or “please stop trying to make our toaster a “smart toaster”. It’s okay to have a dumb toaster. Dumb toasters toast bread perfectly well and don’t try to overthrow humanity.”

MR isn’t necessarily a perfect uwu cinnamon roll, though.

“Just givin’ Real Raph a little advice.” (Bad Hair Day)

That MR calls HR “Real Raph” implies he thinks he and the other two aren’t real, and that’s... probably not good. Because if something isn’t real, it doesn’t matter, and if it doesn’t matter, why pay attention to it? Everything will be fine so long as he acts like he’s fine and he knows what he’s doing! :) He’s the oldest brother, after all! He’s the one who helps! Which means he doesn’t need any help! So what’s the point of asking for help or accepting it from those who offer? It’s just not necessary! :)

“Grit your teeth and smile” can be a useful tactic (again, the ride-along episode), but sometimes you have to admit that you’re not a Staunch Immovable Pillar and that you need help. And I know that was the whole point of the finale, but the entire world was at stake then! Doing something to save literally billions of lives is one thing, but doing it again to save yourself is quite another.

No one can do everything on their own. Sometimes others are better equipped to deal with the situation at hand; and it’s important to let them do so. This could be shown both externally and internally!

Externally, Leo’s taking the lead now, and he and Raph will sometimes disagree with each other about how to handle a situation because this is TMNT and time is a flat circle. But Raph isn’t worthless just because he’s not perfect, and that Leo will sometimes has a better solution doesn’t necessarily mean he’s trying to show Raph up or attack his character. (Leo might actually pull that shit once or twice, but he has flaws and needs character development too.)

And internally, sometimes HR and MR need to trust SR and RR to take the lead, even though they aren’t as “normal”. SR is the one who can handle being alone for a while, so it would make sense for him to show up if the turtles got separated in a space/time/dimensional arc, where a regular search effort won’t yield results right away. And RR... well, I’ll talk about him in the next installment.

—

The last part shouldn’t take as long b/c I’ve got that good good serotonin going rn lol. As always, I’m down for constructive criticism about these topics.

[wienerbarnes]

Witch Bitch

Pairing: Bucky x Witch!Reader

Word Count: 3,943

Warnings: witch stuff, burning at the stake 😳

A/N: this is heavily inspired by american horror story: coven bc i recently watched and ive been binging all of it lately but its not necessary to know anything about ahs lol i kinda just used their fancy magical terminology and concepts bc they were cool🤪 

MAIN MASTERLIST

The best time of the day was breakfast. It was the time when Bucky, Sam, and Sharon were most often together. Sometimes training overlapped and they missed lunch. Sometimes missions ran long or friends were in town and they missed dinner. But the morning? They were all early birds, all awake by seven. They took that shared characteristic and shared breakfast together whenever they could. Bucky usually took care of the coffee, Sam usually took care of the eggs and bacon, and Sharon usually took care of the bagels, toasting them to perfection before slathering on a layer of cream cheese.

It was a moment of peace in their day. Quiet before the noise of the gym or the conference room or the jets or the private trainings or the interviews with prospective agents or anything else they do on a daily basis. It was a time for three friends to just sit and eat and enjoy each other's company as though they are just that: three friends. Not super soldiers or captains or special agents. Just people being normal. Normal doesn’t last long, though. It never does for them.

Bucky’s on dish washing duty this morning while Sam and Sharon chat idly behind him, waiting for him to finish so they can all leave together. A soft voice interrupts them, though, making the three of them stop what they’re doing because no one has access to this floor except for the people that live here - meaning them three.

“Who’s in charge here?” You ask.

“Who the hell are you?! How did you get up here?!” Sharon asks, ignoring your question.

You were in a long, flowy black skirt, slit cut in the left side exposing your leg, and a long-sleeve black shirt, tucked beneath the waistband. Think black boots cover your feet and a black hat sits on your head to complete your look. Bucky almost doesn’t notice the folded black umbrella underneath your arm as his eyes trail down the multiple chains and necklaces around your neck, falling between your breasts.

“I’ve been trying to find someone to help me but the people in this building are not very helpful. I figured I’d find who’s in charge myself, something that you all don’t seem to want to help me with, either.” You explain.

“The only way to even enter this building is through strict appointment and background checks, and no one’s even allowed past the nineteenth floor.” Sam explains.

“Why are you entertaining this? I’m getting her out of here.” Sharon says, moving to walk towards you to take you out of the building herself.

As she nears closer and closer, you wave your hand lazily, without taking your eyes off Bucky, the only one who hasn’t said anything this whole time, and Sharon collapses on the floor soundlessly.

“Jesus!”

“What did you do!”

Both Bucky and Sam panic as they rush to Sharon’s body on the floor. They frantically run their hands over her body, looking for the point of injury that made her collapse the way she did, but they find nothing. No holes, no blood; she didn’t even make a sound.

“She’s not breathing and she doesn’t have a pulse, what the fuck did you do to her?!” Sam yells at you.

You roll your eyes, “Okay, you got me. I don’t need help finding who’s in charge, I already know it’s you. I still do need your help, though.”

You’re ignored as the two men hover over their friend, unsure of what to do or what even happened to her.

“Oh, alright, move.” You order them, stepping over Sharon’s body.

You stand before her, lifting your hands to hover over her body before closing your eyes and letting out a deep and long exhale. Bucky and Sam watch as it takes only about seven seconds for their friend to suddenly gasp for air, jumping back to life. The boys crowd her once more, checking her eyes, her pulse, everything to convince themselves that she’s actually alive like that, and if she was even dead in the first place.

Sam finally looks back up at you from the ground, as though he just remembered that you’re there, “What are you?”

You smirk in response, ready to finally get what you came here for.

…

“So, you’re a witch?” Sam asks, the four of them now occupying a private conference room for some privacy.

“A witch who killed me.” Sharon adds.

“And a witch that brought you right back.” You reply, leaning back on your chair, leg crossed over your knee, slit exposing your thigh. Bucky’s eye twitch to look at your bare skin for a second before returning to meet your eyes.

“So… what do you do?” Bucky asks.

You smile at his innocent curiosity, “All witches don’t have one universal power. Some are clairvoyant, some do voodoo, some dabble in pyrokinesis, divination, transmutation, descendum,” You glance over to Sharon, who’s still pouting at you, “Resurrection.”

“And can you do all of those?” Bucky asks.

“Almost all of them, but I’m not here to talk about me.”

“Why are you here?” Sharon asks.

“You guys hunt the Nazi’s, right?” You ask, aiming your question towards Sam, knowing he’s the Captain in charge.

“Hydra, yes.” He confirms.

“Well, your Nazi’s somehow got a hold of my magic. And they are playing with very dangerous fire,” You begin.

Bucky interrupts, “We’re all for taking down Hydra, but, don’t you think you’re a little more… powerful than us?” He asks.

“Bucky!” Sharon slaps his arm, as though she’s shocked that he would ever admit such a thing.

“I am. But I’m not that powerful, either. Not anymore, at least. A group of those Hydra invaded the coven my sisters and I were at. I was the only one that escaped.” You tell them.

“Did Hydra take them?” Sam asks.

“No, they killed them.” You respond, growing irritated as the subject grows touchier and touchier.

“Can’t you just bring them back like you did me?” Sharon inquires.

“No! I can’t. Like I said, I’m not that powerful anymore. Maybe I’d be able to bring back a house full of dead girls when it was me and twelve others but it’s just me now. I wouldn’t come all the way over here if I had other options.”

Silence grows over the group as they process what you’ve gone through. Surviving through the massacre of your fellow witches and not being powerful enough to find the people that did it on your own. You’re vulnerable.

“So what can we do?” Sam asks, ready to join forces with you.

“Help me locate the men who did this so I can handle the magic part.” You tell him.

“What magic do they have?”

“Although witches control most of the magic, sometimes it can be taken on in… physical forms. Specifically blood. The blood they retrieved was from a witch that was skilled in Vitali Vitalis.”

“The alive within the living.” Bucky translates.

“There are two worlds: the living and the dead,” You begin to explain, “Vitali Vitalis keeps the balance between these two things and it’s one of the most difficult powers for a witch to master. Oftentimes it’s used to give parts of your own life, health, and energy to someone who needs it. But it can also allow you to take life from someone and give it to yourself.”

“Like immortality?” Sam questions.

“Not quite. Any witch can be killed with a knife or bullet. This kind of magic keeps you from dying of age. I’ve only ever known one witch who mastered it.”

“What happened to her?”

“She used it for evil, like this. Took the souls of hundreds in order to allow herself to live for almost three centuries. Until she was killed, of course.” You finish, a small smile on your lips knowing that she got what she deserved.

“What, you burn her at the stake?” Sharon jokes.

“Yes, actually. We did.” You tell her matter-of-factly, becoming more and more irritated at the fact that she doesn’t seem to take this is as seriously as you are.

Bucky interrupts, sensing the rising tension between the two girls, “So when we find these guys, you’re going to burn them at the stake, too?” He asks.

“Yes,” You say, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “The consequence of using magic like this for evil is death by fire. I hope you all don’t think the rules will change on account of these men being Nazi’s?”

“Well, we just have a different way of doing things -” Sam begin to defend

“Yes, I’m aware. The countless destruction caused by you and other militaries, the millions of innocent lives lost yearly, not only in the constant war and irresponsible handling of your nuclear and alien weaponry, but by incorrect prosecution. Not to mention the billions of dollars spent on your ridiculous prison systems that don’t work when actual bad people escape and the death penalty practices in certain states. I just figured my way was easier. And cheaper.” You reply.

Silence crowds over the four of them once more as they think over all their options.

“I’m in.” Bucky speaks first.

“Me, too. Even if I don’t like you.” Sharon follows.

“Feeling’s mutual, dear.” You smile at her.

The three of them look to Sam, waiting for his commitment as well.

“Alright. Let’s get to work.”

Plans were made, theories of location were thought of, and plans to execute the mission were put into place, all of which included you. A temporary room was given to you when the information of your lack of a place to stay was brought to light. Only for the duration of this mission, is what Sam told you, but you can spot the amount of love and light in his heart from miles away.

It was later that night, and you’ve since cleansed the room, going as far as to place a protective spell on the entire floor. You’ve lost too much already, and you’re not about to risk anything.

A knock at the door sounds and the visitor you’d been expecting has finally arrived. You walk towards the door, still in your clothes from earlier but now you’ve removed your shoes, and open the door to reveal Bucky.

“I was waiting for you.” You tell him.

“How’d you know I’d come?” He asks, stepping through the door when you step aside, silently gesturing to him to enter.

“I can hear your thoughts. You've been debating whether or not to come see me for the past thirty minutes. Your mind is very loud.”

“Tell me about it.” He mumbles to himself, thinking about the countless nightmares, voices, and all the other reminders of just how loud his mind was.

“You can ask all your questions, you know. I won’t take any offence. You’re just curious.” You tell him, settling on your bed, hoping he’ll join you and stop hovering near the door.

Luckily he takes the hint and takes a seat across from you.

“I’ve never met a witch before. A real one, I mean. Like, someone born a witch. Like Salem witches -”

“I understand.” You chuckle lightly.

“You don’t seem… afraid of me. Or, hesitant, rather.” You tell him, thinking about how he’s received your presence here compared to his colleagues.

“I was wary when you killed my friend, but… you just need some help, is all. I’m sorry, by the way, I’m not sure if I said it before, but, I’m sorry for what happened to your friends.” He tells you.

He’s very polite. But you supposed that’s not abnormal considering he got his manners from the 1920’s. You like it, though. You give him an appreciative smile before giving him the okay to ask you whatever he wanted.

“So you said that witches can master multiple powers but have one specialty; is yours resurrection?”

“Yes; it was the first power I ever exhibited when I was a teenager. I was about fourteen or fifteen. My next mastered skill is descendum and then clairvoyance, where I was in my twenties, or so.” You tell him as he looks at you with pure fascination in his eyes.

“What is - what is descendum?”

You pause, “The power to descend your soul down into the afterlife - to hell. And return alive.”

His eyes widened, not even knowing that was something someone can do; not even knowing that hell existed in the first place, “So, you’ve been to hell?”

“Yes. I’ve also been able to retrieve people from hell, their soul. A variation of my power of resurrection, I suppose.” You explain, not being too fond of that power; descending to hell.

Bucky sits in silence for a few minutes, and you let him. You can hear the question lingering around in his head; what he’s thinking. But you let him build up his own courage to ask it. You know he’s only scared of the answer; the answer you know he’s not going to like.

“What is hell like?” He whispers.

“It doesn’t matter what my hell is like. Everyone has their own personal hell they experience when they die.” You tell him.

Confusion clouds his features as he registers your answer.

“Is there… Is there no heaven?”

You smirk, “It’s nice that you’ve remained religious after all this time.”

“Yes, there's heaven. But only for the purest and most innocent of souls. And rarely do people escape life without sin. Everyone has evil in them.” You tell him, knowing it’s a harsh truth that no one wants to hear.

The people Bucky’s killed, the crime he’s committed, the families he’s hurt; it all passes through his mind. Everyone has evil in them.

“What was your hell like?”

“I’m not telling you that.” You tell him quickly.

Bucky ponders what his own hell will be like, after seeing the way you’re clearly shaken up about your own. The fall from the train. The man in a lab coat sawing off the rest of his arm. The needles poking through his skin in the middle of some facility. The chair.

He doesn’t realize that he’s looked away from you until he snaps his thoughts back to the present and sees he’s looking down into his lap. He glances up to see your face, your soft features and kind eyes staring at him. He glances from your eyes to your lips and back up again before clearing his throat, not realizing how close he got to you during his time here sitting on your bed.

“You know, I, uh, I should go. Thank you for, uh, answering my questions, but we head out pretty - pretty early tomorrow, so,” He trails off, standing and patting down his shirt to smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in a nervous habit.

He makes his way towards the door and his hand touches the knob when he hears your voice, “Hey, Bucky?” He turns slightly to face you again, a hum to indicate for you to continue.

“Thank you for coming to see me. And thank you for all the kindness you’ve shown me. You’re a very good person.” You tell him sincerely.

He gives you a nod of you’re welcome before exiting.

He’s not sure if you told him that because you truly mean it, or if it’s because of the state of anxiety and existential crises you’ve put him in now that he’s going to be thinking about his personal hell, but he appreciates it, nonetheless.

He thinks you’re a pretty good person, yourself.

…

The mission goes off without a hitch. The combined skill of the Avengers’ stealth, spyware, and experience along with your magic and witchery makes for an easy capture of the men who killed your witch sisters and stole your magic.

It’s not long before the facility they were at was shut down and cleared out, arresting any officers and rescuing any prisoners or hostages, and the five men specifically responsible for the destruction of your coven are in separate custody. What’s left of the blood is returned to you, as well.

That’s where the group of you stand now, a decision to be made about the criminals you’ve captured. To be put in the maximum security prison floating in the ocean, or to be put to death by fire.

“I don’t believe in being the executioner of people.” Sam tries to convince.

You can’t help but let a laugh escape you, “Do you know who you work for?! Do you know who you are?!” You remind him.

“Those guys can’t escape the Raft.” He tries, referring to prison in the middle of the ocean you’ve heard about.

“You did.” You respond, knowing about when Steve Rogers took him out of that prison, along with other superheros.

You see Bucky and Sharon look between the two of you, torn between how these Hydra criminals should receive their fate. Staring into the hot depths of flames or rotting alone in a cell? Both seem to be too merciful, in Bucky’s opinion.

“This isn’t just running the facility or experiments, Sam. This is different. They were using dark magic to commit crimes. Maybe they should face the consequences of a dark-magic-punishment.” Sharon offers.

You don’t have time to be shocked at Sharon agreeing with you and picking your side before Bucky agrees and Sam is outnumbered. He stares at you and gives a single nod, allowing you to do this your way.

You smile, a silent thank you for giving you the closure and opportunity to serve justice to those who did you harm. “Off to Massachusetts, then.” You tell them, and Sam takes his seat in the pilot's chair, Bucky accompanying him in the front of the jet.

You take a seat, making yourself comfortable for the flight to Salem and you feel a body take the seat next to you. You glance up to see Sharon looking at you, but you notice she has something in her hand, offering it to you.

You look down to see a small plastic bag of fruit gummies. But not just any fruit gummies, you realize. Halloween themed fruit gummies. The pictures on the outside show the various options inside: witch’s hat, a broom stick, a melting pot, a vial, and a magic wand. Hilarious.

You take the gummies, though, accepting her attempt at a truce.

It’s not long before you and your temporary teammates find themselves standing before a large, empty field, multiple wooden stakes standing about fifteen feet tall scattered about with plenty of space in between.

You lead the walk to a group of them standing tall in line, so the men can be burned at the same time, as opposed to one by one. A group of large, burly agents lug the Hydra operatives along, behind you and the rest of the team.

Bucky hangs around your left, as to not be in the way of the black umbrella held in your right hand, and Sam and Sharon trail behind you. You can sense their uneasiness and tune out their worried thoughts. Everyone’s first burning is always an experience; they’ll get over it.

Bucky doesn’t seem worried, though. In fact, you can’t hear his thoughts this time around. But he still stands tall and straight, walking with confidence, so you make a safe assumption that he’s okay.

None of the men’s cuffs or shackles are removed, but thick rope is tied on top of it, around the wrist and looped around the waist, tying them to the stake. The cuffs are special grade - high tech Avengers vibranium - and they can be retrieved later once the fire burns out.

“Any last words?” You ask, more for tradition than whether or not you actually care.

They look scared, obviously not expecting their fate to look anything like this. You remember seeing Bucky tackle one of them in the facility, prying his mouth open to rip out a tooth, or what looked like a tooth, like a dog caught eating something it wasn’t supposed to. A cyanide pill.

Silence comes from them, except for one of them, “Hail Hydra!” He yells, as if that cowardly and pathetic phrase would change anything.

With a raise of your hand, seemingly with no effort, you wave it and the stakes all begin to rise up in flames. There’s nothing to spark, no twigs, no gasoline, nothing, and Bucky watches as the flames rise, growing stronger as they engulf the five men. They begin to scream, and Bucky looks over at you, as if to confirm you didn’t bring gasoline or something with you, and he sees a smile slowly grow on your lips.

They haven’t stopped screaming; they’re still alive when you turn and begin to walk back the way everyone came. Bucky follows, and eventually Sam and Sharon do, too, the other agents staying behind until the end to retrieve the cuffs and shackles that will survive the fire.

“So, now what?” Sharon asks, the air quieter as the screams have slowly stopped in the distance.

I can’t imagine what kind of paperwork follows this, “Back to the tower.” Sam responds.

“The coven’s only a short walk from here.” You say, not needing to elaborate much more. The men have been caught and brought to justice, but you still have a broken, battered, and beaten down coven to fix.

A friend of yours was meant to go by and retrieve the… bodies. Which you’re grateful for. But magic won’t help you fix the walls, the floors, mop the blood, or find other witches in need of an escape and a place to improve and master their powers. You have a lot of work to do.

As the view of the jet gets closer, you prepare to bid your goodbyes to the Avengers, your thank you’s as well. Regardless of your attitude towards them before, you couldn’t have done this without them.

A metal hand engulfs yours, pulling you back a bit as Sam and Sharon continue on.

“Do you need any help?” Bucky’s warm and gentle voice floods your ears, hand still in yours.

“You guys have been more than enough help, now, really.” You try to tell him, but he has none of it.

“You may be tough, but you can’t fix up that house by yourself,” He tells you, “I can be pretty handy, fixed up a few things back in my day.” A soft smile grows on his face.

You glance over his shoulder as Sam and Sharon wait by the entrance of the jet, “Don’t you have to go back?”

“They won’t miss me.” He tells you, not even looking back to confirm with his teammates, hand dropping to run it through his hair.

You giggle at him, before giving him a shy nod in answer to his offer to help you fix up your big house.

“I’m going to hang out here for a few days.” He yells over his shoulder.

“We figured.” Sam calls out, and Sharon throws you a wave as they board the jet, the opening close after them.

“Lead the way?” Bucky offers you, taking your hand once more, interlocking the fingers this time.

And so the two of you are off, one of your hands still clutching the umbrella, holding it above your head, and the other hand interlaced with the one of a handsome and kind super soldier. This wasn’t the way Bucky expected the last two days to transpire, but he’s glad they led to holding the hand of a very pretty witch.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

which bmc scenes make you the softest bc for me it's gotta be most of the stagedorks scenes ESPECIALLY a guy that i'd kinda be into. mostly bc of christine cause her and michael are my favs (i love them all sm though) but also bc of jeremy because he is a close second to both of them. also vimh but vimh makes me cry a lot although nowadays i can hardly watch one scene without at the very least tearing up. anyways yeah which ones make you soft

i simply rewatched bmc and took notes for this and really got off track at points in the sense of sticking to What Makes You Softest but that’s how it goes babey

ACT ONE - in mts when jeremy is just having a whole moment being smitten in christine's presence while she's inelegantly picking herself up off the floor and smearing on lip balm and adjusting a skirt wedgie - jeremy and michael just being default that glad to meet each other in the middle of a random schoolday - michael hyping up jeremy's crush on christine and just encouraging this momentum to get jeremy to sign up for the play - ilpr.....that christine stops after like, the first two verses and goes back to her book b/c she doesn't figure someone's looking to listen to her beyond that but then she sees jeremy's still 110% paying attention and the whole rest of the song enfolds with increasing enthusiasm - jake doing that whole bit "all the pressure i feel to be the best at everything all the time" lmao classic stuff here, depressing content delivered in this humorousse way. charming moment - "leave me alone, i've had a bad day" - 2pg......when michael taps jeremy on the shoulder to get jeremy to join in on his choreo, which jeremy then does.....that michael asks if jeremy will be too cool for Video Games and jeremy just responds Emotionally Directly......we love the Favorite Person moment......that this song just ends with the two of them grooving 2gether god bless - jeremy stammering and Tics and Fidgeting when the squip remarks uponst it - jeremy delivering the Looking Pretty Sexy Brooke as awkwardly as possible and she's just like "thanks :)" - jeremy's own Theatricality coming out......hey hamlet - jeremy spinning around in place alternately addressing both brooke and the squip with "oh i'm supposed to meet my friend michael" - nice little detail wherein brooke signals for chloe to join in on her choreo - speaking of, v fond of the Moment jeremy is in on both their choreo......brooke sort of alarming jeremy with her whole attempted grande finale, straw and all, ft. the first instance of her messing with his hair so much she's just tugging his entire head around - cute that jake and rich have a sort of 2pg-esque handshake routine too - jeremy's "that's sad, what should i do" reaction re: jenna - rich's Earnest invitation to come over and play xbox... - "bonjour, jeremy" "ooh brooke!" and this whole exchange, her complimenting him, him laughing at "That Was French" and remembering to ask about pinkberry - love the whole choreo sequence/s in sync up, especially fond of his Moments with the girls, bumping hips with chloe (twice), hearing some Gossip from jenna, posing with brooke.... ;__; - the bowling alley performance art exchange before agtikbi ;____; - agtikbi......the glittery hearts choreo.....the whatever! the interlude or whatever!!! the I Guess A Part Of Me section hhhhoughhh ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; that she pulls him into a hug and puts her head against his shoulder omggg ;_________; - brooke just trying to interact with jeremy the Right Way w/o any guidance on the bleachers and it continues to be awkward and funny....like comforting just his Leg while he converses w/his squip.....how she just ends up Physically pushing him around by the hands and head and shoulder and etc......whole situation here in upgrade.mp3 clearly less than Ideal but jeremy and brooke are nevertheless very cute individually And together - meanwhile jake also trying to genuinely Be With christine in upgrade is also charming lol, quitting archery to hang w/a girl like her.... - i always love when the Playful Shove brooke gives jeremy at "but at the mall, you looked at me" pushes him back a whole few steps....this moment of them truly Getting each other sans anyone else's interference.....tres magnifique - jeremy being That psyched to see michael for the first time (in like, less than one full day lol)....michael being That psyched just hearing that jeremy's cool scifi thing worked out after all - lgw ;_________________________; - like i'm some normal, handsome guy..... - giving us All that silence after "The Problem Has Always Been Me" - the whole bit where he launches into the "I'm Not The [series of insults]" and i've realized it's really especially a stretch to say i'm Soft for these moments in lgw but i Am vulnerable and that's its power. little 1" tall will roland on my screen here just made me shed a real tear doing That.....

ACT TWO - brooke's Howl at the end of her verse lmawooo - oughhh jeremy and brooke Greeting each other at the party too, jeremy unable to disappoint her and going for the Real Compliment, just v charming. rip - jake and jeremy's danceoff lol hell yes and then jake just having Misunderstood the costume plan between him and christine lol - the squip getting in on the dancing :) go you funky little ai - jeremy and brooke singing that last verse of Halloween v enthusiastically at each other, - again that jeremy is just genuinely glad to see michael.... - the inherent intimacy of singing mitb b/c your bff dumped you..... - AGTIKBI REPRISE..... ;______________________________; hhhhuouuuoh my god :'3 the lil detail that at the Height of things christine is Shy and turns away.....just. This Scene oh my god - soft in a vulnerable way like, rip to jenna where we're seeing chloe's Lack Of Enthusiasm in accepting a call from her :[ - the Shift at the start of the pants song :] - and the lil mitb reprise during said pants song lmao, also always having a great time w/this concept of "maybe this teen having a rough time needs some guidance from someone grown w/all that bonus maturity here" - i wish there was a way i could help everyone but i don't know how so i guess i'll just do theatre..... - jenna being Moved simply being asked for the first time ever How She Is u_u then her being like "....Okay!" lmfao jenna's great - just have to say in whatever context i'm v fond of pitiful children there at the end lmfao the bass kicks in like that and we're having a great time - the audience always having that response to "all the way to broadway" - jeremy going "you came to see me in the play? :)" like, that he's processing the significance of that in the middle of these Very Raised Stakes - i'm soft for will roland's vocal glitching mouth noises live every night!!! - jeremy like "ha! >:)" flipping his squip off after he's successfully Apologized lmfaoooo love him - but then having that real And I'm Stronger Than You Think I Am victory like :'| - that michael's been by like a ton btw during jeremy's probably somewhat concerning coma. also cherish the lil dance he does while they're celebrating mr. heere's bepantsedness - jake and jeremy sharing a Dab - and just the Popular Kids actively seeking him out to help re: christine b/c they just Want To Be Supportive.....very nice - this vimh interlude or whatever with christine and jeremy like jlsdfhh i think of this all the time - me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind ;__; what do they say we should do ;______; and the Woohoo! ;_______________; - huoughh kiss and you KNOW especially the [jeremy spinning away in sheer enthusiasm] of 2.0 just KILLS THE MAN ;O; - jeremy not missing a beat despite the squip's interruption leeet's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - the more than survive na na na na na na na na na na na's but they're all So, and jeremy ending With everyone but also there with Himself and it's so Good and Everything Wants What Vimh Has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hhrough ;0; - that jason does that spin at curtain call w/his excellent squip costume... - that in virtually any given curtain call when they get into line together there's that lil ritual of george smacking will's ass lmao love languages

i mean tl;dr quite Same in that like, most likely to inspire tearing up over something or other includes agtikbi reprise and vimh which is just like, again any finale wants what it has, and the I Guess A Part Of Me bit of the non-reprise agtikbi like Oof augh this is so cute, and lgw always Gets me, and while i was rewatching speaking of being soft and move-able i was also just continually struck with delight over various moments throughout, and noticing little details for the first time thank god. just Vulnerable the whole time

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Pokemon Master Quest, Episodes 55-57

In which the Johto League gets underway, and we check in with Gary one last time before the sparks start flying.

Game Day

Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, it’s time for the Johto League to begin at last! Ash has made his way across the entire damn countryside, Larvitar’s been reunited with its Tyrannitar mom, and now there’s nothing left to do but fight his way to the top or crash and burn trying. Either way, it’s gonna be one heck of a challenge. Ash’s first battle against a Furret almost goes disastrously south when he can’t respond to the Furrett’s constant Dig attacks, and that’s just his first opponent (though Pikachu lighting up the underground tunnels with a thunderbolt was a cool counter). Chances are the semi-finals are gonna be stacked with trainers at least as strong, if not moreso, than that. Hopefully, Ash can pull off what he couldn’t in the Indigo League and make all his fights entertaining instead of just time filler.

Whatever happens, though, I’m just happy we’re finally in the home stretch. Johto’s been way too dragged out for its own good, but now that it’s finally in wrap-up mode, it’s able to start paying off all the investment its built up over time. We even get our first namedrop of the Hoenn region, complete with a surprise Blaziken to build anticipation. The decks are already being stacked for what comes next! And there’s something really cool about seeing that torch carried forward. This isn’t just the end of Johto, it’s the beginning of Pokemon’s next phase, a new world full of new possibilities. Whether or not it lives up to those possibilities, we’ll have to see. But I can’t help but look forward to what comes after we turn the final page.

Friends to the End

Speaking of final pages, there’s one more important character we need to check up on before heading into the final stretch. So once again, let’s do something I never thought I’d do at the start of this show and thank the stars for Gary Oak. How did this obnoxious brat turn into such an endearing rival character? Is it just my love of rivals who actually point out each other’s weaknesses and encourage each other to get better? Regardless, Gary’s probably grown the most of any character in this cast, both as a trainer and a person. He and Ash are genuinely friends now, able to see the good in each other while still competing hard to be number 1. Can you imagine Gary at the start of the show admiring what good comrades Ash and Pikachu had become? Or talking wistfully about how lucky they are to be together now, with all the coincidences that brought their paths together? Or wondering where their hopes and dreams will take them in the future, with the heavy implication he hopes their paths won’t diverge forever? Okay, listen, I’m trying my best to keep the shipper goggles off here, but the way Gary talks to Ash here really sounds like a confession of love. Motherfucker was a second away from pulling the old “the moon is beautiful tonight” card, I swear to god. Oh well, nothing like a good old shonen shiptease to set the stakes for a memorable final battle. Here’s hoping it lives up to the hype!

Best of Team Rocket

-”They’re making us look bad!” “And with our recent track record, that isn’t too hard to pull off.”

-James has such lyrical lines of dialogue sometimes.

-”Sneazel? Sounds like something you need a tissue for.”

-”More hunk than we could handle.”

-”Without us, there wouldn’t be any food in the first place!” Jessie channeling the collective rage of the entire service sector, lol.

Odds and Ends

-Is... is this guy really named Blurt? Did his parents just hate him or something?

-”I’m the strong silent type, except I talk a lot and break stuff by mistake!” aksjdhads okay I like Blurt

-This frame is a renaissance painting,

-”Whoever smelt it, dealt it!” We’ll... work on that, Ash.

-Ooh, I like that Larvitar still gets nervous around strangers. Just because he opened up to Ash’s gang doesn’t mean his anxiety’s just gonna vanish.

-”I spy three buffoons in the sky!” god dammit they’re entertaining too

-”I thought you said nothing’s impossible!” “Don’t take me literally!” These guys are too entertaining for one-off villains.

-Something about the lighting effects on Tyrannitar’s hyper beam really sells how powerful it is.

-Okay, but these two characters are absolutely voiced by the same guy and hearing them hold a conversation is trippy as fuck.

-”I knew that wasn’t a Sneazel!” “Gee, how’d you figure that one out?” Misty’s sass game is on point today.

-”Wanna hear my plan? We win, and then we win, and then we win some more!” Quality plan, Ash. Quality plan.

-Honestly, Gary catching a falling torch is the most impressive thing he’s ever done. Nerves of steel, this kid.

The end fast approaches. See you next time!

[mummybear]

Make You Mine This Valentines Day

Words: 10,690 - Yeah so this is officially the longest one shot I’ve ever written ;)

Warnings: Sub Dean, Dom OC, Restraints (Rope), Safe Word, Oral (Both Receiving) Face Riding, Orgasm Control, Slight Sub Crash, Dirty Talk, Swearing (Think That’s It!)

Pairing: Dean Winchester X OC Michelle

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, OC (Michelle), Douche At The Bar

Summery: After yet another hunt, Sam, Dean and Michelle end up in a bar, where Dean and Michelle make several bets that could favour them both. Will they follow through on the most sinful of their desires?

A/N: Okay, so this went on for longer than I intended ;) But i promise it’s worth it once you get to the good stuff :P I wrote this for one of my favourite people! Michelle ( @holyhellpit + @dylanholyhellobrien) she is such an amazing person and I’m sorry this is late babe! But I really hope you like it! - Please let me know what you think! I love the feedback as we all do! 

Another night, another hunt that had ended with the three of them in some run down bar, in the middle of some Podunk town, that practically nobody had heard of. The wallpaper was peeling from the walls, there were the obvious town drunks scattered around the place, as well as the drifters just like themselves. 

Michelle watched from her seat as Sam and Dean ordered their drinks and it was more than obvious to her at least, that she wasn’t the only person in the bar with eyes on the tall and gorgeous Winchester brothers. There were plenty of people eyeing them, some with interest or annoyance, others were completely lusting after them, the sighs were almost audible.

Rolling her eyes Michelle turned away from the scene in her eye line. Instead, she let her mind wander back to the last few days, how Dean in particular had been acting really damn strange around her. There was something about the way that he’d behaved towards her and around her that was so very different. She just couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it seemed like every time she walked into a room and the guys were in the middle of a conversation, it would stop immediately. The entire thing was really beginning to bug her, what the hell were the two of them hiding from her. 

She was pulled back to the present when the two brothers returned to the table, taking up either side of her. Thanking Sam for her drink she let the guys talk, as her eyes drifted over to the pool table where a few possible targets had taken up residence, they had been there for at least the last fifteen minutes. Leaning closer to Dean she gently nudged him, “You wanna go hustle a game, I’ll even let you be the drunk guy” 

Dean chuckles a little taking a sip from his beer, placing the bottle back on the table he slips out of the booth, “After you sweetheart, I’ll be over in a minute” Dean stands and heads to the bathroom, Michelle turns to Sam as she stands from the booth. 

Before she can speak to him though she notices a look that passes between the younger Winchester and the bartender. “You okay Michelle?” Sam asks distractedly, his eyes never really leaving the beautiful woman behind the bar who’s now waving at him. 

“Why don’t you go say hi to the poor woman, she’s clearly interested and so are you” Michelle laughs, kicking Sam’s booted foot, forcing his eyes to meet hers, the blush on his cheeks only makes the moment that much more adorable. 

“You sure? You guys gonna be okay?” Sam questions, which makes Michelle frown slightly. It was only her and Dean why the hell wouldn’t they be okay. The three of them had been living together long enough. 

“Of course we’ll be okay, why wouldn’t we be?” 

Something unreadable passes across Sam’s face as he laughs awkwardly, for no foreseeable reason. “Well you know, I just don’t want you guys to kill each other, you know, if I’m not around” Sam answers quickly, clearly trying to brush it off as if it were nothing. 

Michelle decides that it may be best to just let it go, after all he was probably just flustered with the flirty barmaid and being called on it, it didn’t mean anything. Right?

“Okay…..Well, I’m just gonna go get started over there” she points in the general direction of the guys that are gathered around the pool table. Rolling her eyes Michelle quickly notices that Sam couldn’t be paying her any less attention to her if he tried. “So I'm just gonna go. Do me a favour and just tell Dean I’m over there, if you can even hear me, I guess” she half laughs half sighs before walking away. 

Michelle makes sure as she walks to put that little extra swing into her hips, this outfit was always her best for hustling pool. Sam and Dean had noticed a while back, how every opponent that she had gone up against became distracted, almost as soon as she bent over the table to take a shot. Not that the brothers had been completely unaffected either, that much was kind of obvious. 

The outfit was simple enough, the black lacy stockings fitted her toned legs like a glove. The tight black skirt hit just above her knees, but every time she would bend over even a little the lacy hem of the stockings was revealed, much to the delight of anyone watching her. The red and black plaid shirt she wore was probably one of Dean’s, it was a little baggy in places but it was pulled tight around her chest. Which gave her the perfect dip in her cleavage. 

She can practically feel the eyes on her from the pool table as she all but struts over, taking a pool cue from the wall before turning to face them. “Room for a little one?” 

There seems to be a silent conversation going on between two of the guys, before one of them elbows the other, eyes going wide as he looks between her and his friend. “Well I’d much rather play with you” he smirks in a way which makes Michelle’s skin crawl. When Sam and Dean smirked even while they were all joking, it was charming and maybe even sexy. This guy though was a different level of sleaze bag and Michelle would happily take his money. ‘Grin and bare it’ she says to herself returning his smile a little forcefully.

“How about we make it a little more interesting” 

That statement seems to make the guys ears prick up even further, “Oh yeah honey, how’re we gonna do that then?” he asks stepping closer to the table and closer to her.

“How about a little bet? Winner gets a hundred bucks” she says simply, chalking up her cue waiting for his answer.

“Sure, sounds easy enough darlin’. If you need a hand don’t you be shy” the guys winks, eyes scanning her body shamelessly as he licks his lips.

Michelle can’t help but laugh at that, spotting Dean stumbling towards them behind the guy she was talking to. “Oh don’t worry your head about that hot shot” his eyebrows practically shoot up into his hairline at her quick change in behaviour. “He’s a little drunk, but my man knows his way around a stick” her remark hits Dean’s ears and he grins like an idiot practically falling into one of the chairs by the table.

A chorus of laughter surrounds the table as she racks up the balls in the triangle. “Oh baby girl he is drunk off his ass” the guy practically snorts with laughter.

Michelle pulls the triangle from around the balls and tosses it to one side, just as she turns to see Dean standing from his chair, still swaying slightly. The death glare he sends the other guy is even enough to convince Michelle that Dean is angry as all hell. Dean’s big hands land on her hips and she smiles at the other guy as Dean’s mouth presses against her ear, “Why don’t you show them just how good you are sweetheart” 

“Why don’t you break” she smiles at the guy turning in Dean’s arms she glares up at him.

“Sure thing sugar” the guy responds, as his friends all remark at just how easy this is gonna be.

“Are you actually drunk right now?” she questions Dean, rolling her eyes when that lazy drunk smile spreads across his pouting lips.

“Maybe, just a little” he chuckles, holding up his hand leaving a small distance between his thumb and forefinger. 

“Well how the hell are you gonna beat him now?” Michelle laughs unable to help herself as Dean sways a little in her grip. Their earlier plan had been for Dean to take over and double the stakes of the previous bet. 

Dean scoffs at that, leaning even closer. His lips a breath away from hers, “I could beat this douche bag in my sleep” he argues, stumbling back until he takes a seat in the chair behind him.

Michelle squeaks out a little laughter, louder than she’d meant to as she falls into Dean’s lap, “Not convincing me there Winchester, no way in hell” she’s still laughing as she stands. Her opponent tells her to take the damn shot, “Sorry” she giggles, trying to stay in character while pulling herself back together, before she makes her way back over to the table.

Carefully bending over the table just slightly Michelle has to ignore the way Dean presses up behind her again. His fingers tighten on her hips when she adjusts her cue in her hands. She hears him groan deep in his throat from behind her. She realises that she isn’t even sure which parts are for show anymore, Dean had gone completely off script.

Taking her shot is a little more difficult than she would care to admit, but she manages to sink a ball into the right corner pocket. A whistle from the other guy pulls her attention slightly, “Nice shot darlin’” he remarks but Michelle doesn’t get time to answer.

As she stands straight to find her next shot Dean’s lips press to her ear, “Come on you know I can beat him, I bet you” 

She doesn’t turn to him this time, she simply bends again to take her next shot. “What are you betting Dean?” She whispers so that only he can hear, his hands slide along her arms holding her hands over the cue, his front plastered against her back. 

“If I lose I’ll clean your room for a month and cook you anything you want” he smirks against her ear as he pulls back to far, turning the cue at the wrong angle.

She swallows hand feeling his strength bearing down on her, “And if you win?” she asks quietly as Dean tightens his grip on the cue.

“If I win you let me take you out on a date” he says with finality, right at the same time as he takes the shot. The shocked noise that leaves Michelle’s lips as he misses is something he could never get tired of hearing, all those perfect little noises for only his ears.

Dean backs off from her, neither of them listening to what the other guy is saying as she steps closer to Dean. “Are you serious?” 

“As a heart attack” he replies still grinning like an idiot, as his gorgeous green eyes linger a little too long on her lips. “So are we on?” 

Chewing on her lips she looks up at his eyes again, “You’re insane” she laughs a little as Dean leans on the pool table beside her hip. 

“Then say no, but you won't. I know you” Dean replies, dragging his teeth over his bottom lip.

She mulls it over for less than a minute before nodding, “Yeah, fine. You’re on” 

Dean winks as he pulls away from her completely, “I’m gonna take over from my girl, she ain’t feelin’ so good” Dean slurs convincingly, “Double or nothing ass hat” Dean snaps as Michelle hands him the pool cue trying to hide her smile.

The guy snorts with laughter, completely ignoring Dean and looking back at Michelle. “I think your man has lost his damn mind” 

Michelle simply grins and Dean watches her closely as she takes the seat he had been in previously, slowly crossing her legs. It takes everything in him not to moan when the top of her lacy stockings are revealed from beneath her tight fitting skirt. She takes a sip of her drink before shrugging. “You heard the man, big guy. Besides, I’m his very best lucky charm. Although, if you’re scared, you can always say no and just pay up” shooting Dean a wink as she takes another sip from her drink. 

The guy considers this for a moment before looking back at Dean and shrugs. He holds up his hands before picking his cue back up, making another shot that he misses. “Have at it man, just don’t come crying to me when I take your money and I keep your girl, make her mine and make her scream all fucking night” As the words leave the strangers mouth, Michelle can practically see Dean’s entire posture change and stiffen, like he’s sobering up before her very eyes. 

Michelle can’t help but laugh at the guys' words, until she notices the shift in Dean’s stance. She can’t see Dean’s face, but just by the pure look of fear on the strangers, Michelle is sure that the look Dean had shot him was a warning.

Dean smirks with that dangerous glint in his eyes, reminiscent of his demon days. Other than that his features are schooled, his voice eerily calm as he speaks. “You speak about her like that again and you won't be walking out of this bar” 

Now as much as she wanted to tell Dean to calm down, remind him that she could take care of herself. There was something about him just then that was so downright sexy, something she had tried to ignore the entire time she’d known the Winchesters. But instead she just smiled, watching from her little corner as the guy nodded quickly, avoiding meeting Dean’s gaze completely. Clearing his throat he gestured to the table, “Just, uh. Take your shot man” he tried to hide the waver in his voice, but it was clear to just about anyone who was close enough to hear.

Chewing on her lip Michelle watched the game play out, just the way Dean usually played. Either that little angry moment had sobered him up, or he really wasn’t that drunk to begin with. Dean tossed his pool cue on the table, as he turned to walk towards her money in hand the guy and his friends rounded the pool table. On instinct Michelle shot up from her seat, pushing Dean out of the way practically catching the guys fist before it made contact with her or the back of Dean’s head. 

The guy was seething and shot out again, before Dean could get involved Michelle blocked him with her body. Before anyone knew what was happening Michelle had twisted the guys arm behind his back and pressed his face into the table. Dean grinned proudly coming to stand behind her, knowing that she had learnt that move from him. 

The usual sweet lilt to her voice was gone, replaced by what was known as her hunter voice. “Seriously? Hitting a man from behind? Do you have any balls whatsoever?” Michelle spat twisting the guys arm harder making him whimper in pain. “You lost. Fair and square, now get your buddies and get the fuck out” 

“You tricked us” the guy cried out as Dean pulled him free of Michelle’s grip, he couldn’t stand it anymore she was so fucking hot when she got like this. Dean shoved the guy easily towards his friends who caught him after the slight stumble. 

“You heard the lady, now leave. While you still can” Dean all but growled.

They left quickly after that and Michelle turned to glare at Dean, “Hey! I had that handled” she pouted shoving his chest lightly. 

Dean ran his teeth over his bottom teeth as he looked down at her, he took her hand in his and pushed the money against her palm. Closing her hand around it she smiles up at him, finding herself drawn to his gorgeous lips and perfect teeth. “Well, as it turns out sweetheart, I was way more interested in talking to you. About the fact that I just won our little bet” Dean replied quietly as she steps closer to him.

“Hmm, yeah. I guess you did” Michelle replies thoughtfully, “But, I was wondering if you wanted to raise the stakes?” she questions, taking the seat she had been in before, Dean’s smile falls as he takes the seat opposite.

Dean sighs rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck, “What you wanna change the deal? Back out now I won because that’s fine I me…” Michelle Stops Dean’s rambling pressing a finger to his lips, which quickly close.

“Just let me talk huh?” she laughs a little and Dean nods as she pulls her fingers away he licks his lips. “You won the bet, so the date is still on” she smiles when he grins adorably at her, clearly fighting the urge to speak again. “I was just gonna say if I can beat you at a game, then I’m in charge of the date. Completely. Everything. All. Night. Long” Dean swallows hard at the meaning behind the last three words, but nods all the same.

“A-And if- When I win?” he questions, voice shaking a little. He meets her eyes as he clears his throat. Scolding himself inwardly for the way he sounded just then he sits a little straighter in his seat regaining his confidence. He seems to mull over his answer a little before he finally continues with the thought, “When I win, you’re on pie and beer runs whenever I need to go for the next month, along with laundry duty” Michelle nods still smiling as he reels off his list, “Not done sweetheart” he chides her, making her laugh before continuing. “Since the date is still on, I get a kiss right here, right now” he finishes flashing Michelle a cocky smirk as he racks up the balls.

Michelle quickly returns his smirk, holding out her hand to him. Her tongue runs along the back of her teeth as his hand practically wraps around hers, “You’ve got yourself a deal Winchester” 

“Good. Then let's see what you got. Don’t go holdin’ out on me now” Dean grins as she removes the triangle from the table, Dean bends to take his shot. 

Michelle knows what she’s doing as she leans on the pool table right across from him, resting her arms against the wood she leans forward. Her breasts pushing up further, creating a deeper cleavage which Dean tries and fails to ignore. Their eyes meet across the green felt and he licks his lips, briefly allowing his eyes to drop to her chest before moving his eyes back to hers. 

“Something wrong Dean?” she questions innocently, running her teeth over her bottom lip as she adjusts just slightly tucking a few curls behind her ear.

Dean groans to himself, gripping the pool cue a little too tight he follows her movement by accident. Which pushes the pool cue forward and just barely knocks the white ball into the colours. “You did that on purpose” Dean says accusingly, while he half laughs half huffs. Watching as she walks around the table, running her fingers along the wood as she gets closer to Dean. 

Dean, the man who is currently fighting with himself not to just grab hold of Michelle, throw her onto the pool table and say fuck it to the stupid bet. “Well Dean, since we didn’t establish any rules does it really matter?” as she winks at him Dean mumbles something that she doesn’t catch under his breath.

Lining up to take her shot she feels Dean press up behind her, hands on her hips. Rolling her eyes she just smiles. Much to Dean’s surprise Michelle remains as un-distracted as before, potting the next three balls with ease. When his hand brushes against the lace just under the line of her skirt, Michelle can’t help but shiver. Which of course knocks her off her game, so she instead pots one of Dean’s balls. “You dick!” she laughs shoving his chest as Dean grins down at her again. “Okay, new rule no touching, at least not until the date. Because that is just way too much cheating” 

“Okay that’s fair” Dean laughs, taking the pool cue from her.

The game continues until they’re down to the black ball, with it being Dean’s turn Michelle is sure he’s about to wipe the floor with her. “I might let you out of the laundry sweetheart, not sure you have the stomach for it” Dean winks as he lines the shot up perfectly. 

“Dean?” Sam calls loudly from across the bar, Dean moves a little too fast to turn to look at his brother. 

Michelle laughs to herself as Dean seemingly doesn’t realise what he’s just done. The cue had knocked into the ball when he’d turned to speak to Sam. “What?” Dean asks as Sam comes over to the table, smirking he points at the woman behind the bar. 

Dean glances back at the table and he knows she’s seen the ball move by the massive smile on those beautiful lips of hers. He just hopes that the rash move with the cue wasn’t too obvious. But there was something about having her in control of anything and everything that did things to him. When she suggested it he couldn’t explain the way his stomach flipped until he’d allowed himself to think about it, then his mind had been made up. Not that he wanted her to know that, “I’m jus’ gonna leave with her” ,Sam slurs happily waving at the woman, who giggles at him before waving back.

“Okay, have fun little brother” Dean laughs clapping Sam on the shoulder as his brother walks off humming under his breath.

“Ah ah ah, no you don’t” Michelle laughs as he bends to take the shot.

“What’re you talking about?” Dean asks looking between her and the ball, then it seems to hit him. “Oh come on! That does not count!”

Michelle smiles and nods her head taking the cue from him, “Sam was nowhere near the table when you hit the ball honey, it counts” 

“Oh fucking hell! Fine” even as he says the words he’s trying to sound annoyed, but the look on his face is telling a different story. Did he do that on purpose?

Sam leaves with the woman just as Michelle sinks the ball, turning to find Dean holding his hands up behind her. “I guess you win then sweetheart” 

Michelle shrugs stepping into his space so his back hits the wall, “I usually get what I want” she winks, watching Dean’s Adam’s apple bob harshly as swallows a little harder than usual. Grabbing his shirt in her hands she leans up on tip toes so that her lips just barely brush his.

“Fuck” Dean groans under his breath as she presses her body against him. 

His hands ball into fists fighting the urge to touch her, “So does tomorrow work for you?” she asks voice breathy against his lips. 

“Yeah t-tomorrow works. Isn’t that-”

Michelle cuts him off with a seductive smile, causing her lips to just barely brush his. “Valentines day? Yeah, is that okay?” she checks quickly, feeling suddenly a little uncertain for the first time tonight. But when Dean nods she lets out a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding until now. Backing away from him she watches Dean relax a little, “Okay good then, I’ll look forward to it. You wanna head out?” 

“Yeah sounds good gorgeous. Just gonna go take a leak” he winks at her, quickly kissing her cheek. Before he jogs off in the direction of the little boys room, she can’t help but smile at his retreating form.

Michelle finishes her drink before pulling on her coat, it’s almost like she can feel eyes on her as she leaves the bar and she can’t explain it. Shivers run up her spine as she walks outside, in the direction of the impala pushing her hands into her pockets as she walks. 

As she turns and leans back against the impala a figure emerges from the darkness. Her hand hovers over her gun as the large figure approaches slowly, the light from the front of the bar ticks on and she lets out a sigh of relief. “Dean, almost fucking shot you! Are you trying to give me a heart attack you idiot!” 

Her hand moves from her gun to press against her rapidly thumping heart. Ignoring the way Dean laughed as he stumbled a little towards her. “So adorable when you shit scared” he grins unlocking the Impala, they both slide into the front seat.

“You sure you’re okay to drive?” Michelle asks as he turns the key in the ignition and revs the engine. 

“Yes dear. I’m fine” he sasses as he pulls out of the parking lot his eyes drop down to her thighs, where her skirt had ridden up, revealing the lace of her stockings and Dean suddenly feels like all the moisture has left his mouth. “You, uh - Are you gonna wear them for our date?” he questions nodding towards the lacy material covering her incredible legs. 

Dean can’t help but watch as her fingers glide over the sheer material, pushing her thumb just in the top where the lac sits, pinging it back against her skin. Dean can’t help but lick his lips before his eyes are forced back to the road, “These? Yeah I think I might” she smiles seductively, as Dean turns to meet her eyes. 

The elder Winchester clears his throat, shifting awkwardly in his seat. “W-What else?” he questions, swallowing around the massive lump that seems to have formed in his throat, just as he turns down the road that leans to the bunker.

Michelle shrugs still unable to stop smiling at the way he seems to have gone a little shy around her. Moving closer to him her thigh brushes against his and she sees him visibly shiver, “You’re gonna have to wait and see baby” 

The rest of the ride is left in comfortable silence, except for the sexual tension which is clearly obvious to the pair of them. They walk inside the bunker together, as they reach their respective rooms Dean catches hold of her arm and she turns to face him. “Are you sure about this? You sure you don’t wanna change your m-”

Michelle cuts off his rambling pushing him back against his door, Dean’s mouth drops open as her small hands grip his plaid shirt tightly. She pulls him down towards her roughly pressing her lips to his. Dean can’t help but moan into the kiss when Michelle presses her body against his. Those big hands land on her waist and she has to pull away from the kiss, knowing that she’s losing herself to the magic of Dean Winchester’s mouth. “Does that answer your question?” she asks breathlessly, running her thumb along his bottom lip wiping away the traces of lipstick.

Pressing a hand to his jeans Dean licks his lips, letting his eyes drift down to hers. “Yeah sweetheart. Loud and clear” he replies just as breathless.

With that Michelle bids him goodnight and heads to bed, leaving Dean to watch her leave.

Not sleeping well was never fun but unfortunately it was something that Michelle was used to. By the time that she heads into the kitchen Dean has already left on a supply run, leaving a letter to explain his absence. 

Sam still hadn’t returned from his date which made her smile, he really did need a good night, poor guy.

Knowing that her outfit is hanging up in her room Michelle opts to read for a little while, it’s almost five in the evening when Dean returns home. “Where the hell have you been all day?” she laughs standing from her chair as Dean practically juggles the bags he’s holding through the door.

Michelle helps him lower the bags onto the table, “Sorry sweetheart, had to wrap up a case” as he says the words its then she notices the cut just above his eyebrow.

“Dean, I could’ve come with you” she sighs as Dean continues putting away the shopping.

“Look, It went fine just stop worrying, just a salt and burn”

“At least let me look at your head” Michelle reasons pulling out the first aid kit as Dean surprises her and takes a seat at the table. 

“Yes boss” he smirks as she steps between his legs. 

She can’t help but smile at those words, “You do know we’re not on the date yet, right?” 

Dean shrugs looking up at her with those stunning green eyes, “Yeah I guess” he says as his hands run up the backs of her thighs. Wincing a little as she dabs the cotton bud against the cut, he tries to focus on her face, the concentration in her eyes and the curve of her gorgeous lips. “So are you gonna tell me what you’re wearing tonight or not?” he questions huskily, fingers unconsciously tightening on her thighs and pulling her closer. 

“No more touching for you Mr handsy” Michelle warns him slapping his hands away from her, she shakes her head when he groans in protest, a small smile on her lips, “Look, just sit still Dean, I really need to go get ready” 

“Spoilsport” Dean huffs out, but she can see he wants to smile even if he doesn’t let it show on his face.

Finishing up with his wound Michelle looks him in the eyes. “You haven’t seen anything yet honey” the way she says the words has him confused, whether or not he should be nervous or excited or a little of both. He’s hypnotised by the sway of her hips as he watches her leave, a few minutes past and he decides to head to his own room to get ready.

After her shower she heads back to her bedroom, happy to see that Dean is still nowhere to be seen. Michelle had told him to be ready for seven, there’s part of her that almost can’t believe this is actually happening, but the possibilities of tonight are endless. 

Taking her time to get ready she does her hair and makeup first, getting her hair just right so that her natural curls look better than they had in months, hunting always got in the way of any real time to take care of herself as much as she’d like. Keeping her makeup mostly light she opts for a red lip, after all it is Valentines day.

Pulling on her red and black lacy underwear she smiles at the way it hugs her curves perfectly, rolling the stockings up her legs the sheer black fabric is so soft against her skin. Once the stockings are hooked into her garter, she pulls on the gorgeous form fitting dress. Just as Michelle is struggling to zip up the zipper there’s a knock at her door. The nervousness bubbles in her stomach, taking a deep breath she tells the person knocking to come in.

When their eyes meet in her mirror she smiles at the look of shock on Dean’s face, he looks just as gorgeous as ever, there was no denying he was hot, but she’d always tried not to think about it until he’d suggested the date as part of the bet. That damn red shirt that clings perfectly to his body. It’s practically straining around his biceps forcing the muscle to show fully, clings tightly to his forearms and pulled taut across his firm chest. He takes a slow step into the room, “You look fucking incredible” Dean groans teeth running across his bottom lip.

Michelle can’t help but stare at his mouth, wonder what it would look like when she watches him come undone beneath her. “Looking pretty damn good yourself Winchester,” she replies her voice a little breathy as he steps closer she’s still fighting with the zipper of her dress.

“You need a hand there sweetheart?” Dean asks nodding towards her back and pulling her from her thoughts. Michelle gives him a small nod and her best seductive smile.

His eyes are so much darker than when he’d entered her room, when he steps up behind her, his fingers skim down the skin of her back, pulling goosebumps across her body. Michelle keeps her eyes locked on his, fighting the urge to chew on her lip as he pushes her curls over one shoulder, exposing her back fully, he slowly pulls the zipper up. “You ready to go Dean?” her voice is like honey as she turns to face him, grabbing her coat from the side of the mirror. 

“My lady” he winks holding out his arm for her.

Michelle can’t help but laugh hooking her arm through his, “Such a gentleman” she says letting out a fake gasp. 

The ride to the restaurant Michelle had picked was short and sweet, their conversation was kept light, sharing hunting stories from the past and the good stories of Dean’s childhood, looking after Sam and all the things the two of them would get up to while John was away hunting.

Dean pulls into the parking lot telling her to stay put as he gets out of the Impala, walking around to her side he opens the door holding out his hand to her. Michelle takes his hand stepping out gracefully to stand by his side as Dean locks up his baby. To her surprise as he turns back to her he links his fingers with hers, “Where have you been hiding ‘this’ Dean?” Michelle asks jokingly as they walk through the doors.

“Plenty more where that came from sweetheart” Dean winks as they’re lead over to their table. 

“Promises promises honey” Michelle replies returning his wink as they take their seats, so that they’re sitting opposite each other. 

“Can I get you something to drink?” A voice questions pulling Michelle’s attention away from Dean momentarily.

“Could we get two beers please” Michelle smiles kindly, handing the drinks menu back to the young waiter. Who is gone almost as quickly as he appeared.

“So, you’re ordering for me now huh?” Dean questions a smirk pulling at his lips when his fingers brush the back of her hand.

“Sorry. Force of habit I guess” she laughs quietly, “You want me to stop?” 

Dean bites his lip when the front of her shoe brushes against his inner thighs when she rests her foot between his legs on the chair. One of Dean’s hands drops under the table wrapping around her ankle. He swallows hard as he meets her gorgeous eyes, the blue swimming behind the green as she leans forward her chin on her hand. “You’re in charge right?” he asks huskily, releasing her ankle to grip the side of his chair.

Michelle hums thoughtfully taking a sip from her beer, “What and that’s still okay with you?” the young woman checks as she watches him intently.

Dean’s grin takes her by surprise, “More than okay sweetheart, you won the bet after all. But don’t worry I plan on giving as good as I get when it’s my turn” The way Dean says the words is like a dirty promise, one that makes her very curious.

“I hope you like a challenge Dean” 

Dean’s lips wrap around his beer bottle, showing a peek of his tongue as he does so, “Oh I love a good challenge darlin’” Dean drawls licking the drop of beer from his plump bottom lip.

Michelle is slightly lost for words at that comment, but luckily the waiter returns asking for their orders. Dean orders a steak and fries, while Michelle orders the vegetable pasta. 

“Sam must’ve had a really great night last night, have you heard anything from him?” Michelle questions, changing the conversation for a moment. 

“Uh, yeah I have. Turns out he’s agreed to go out on a date with her tonight which means-” 

“-We have the bunker all to ourselves” Michelle interrupts with a smirk which Dean returns. 

“Exactly” Dean replies simply, licking those damn lips again. 

The waiter with the world's worst timing returns with their meals, Dean has to do his utmost to repress a growl at the man. “Enjoy your meals, please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you” he tells the couple kindly. 

Michelle kicks Dean’s shin under the table, pulling a groan from the older man. Years of working with him she could tell within seconds he was about to say something they would both regret. “Thank you” she smiles at the young man who nods with a small smile, not before glancing between the pair with a look of confusion on his face. 

“What the hell was that?!” Dean hisses across the table nudging her shoe with his foot. 

Michelle can’t help but laugh around her mouthful of pasta, “Don’t give me that you know what it was about!” 

After that they easily fall into their usual laughing and joking routine, enjoying their typical friendly banter. After a few more beers and their dinners are finished Dean grabs the dessert menu. “You want dessert? I could go for pie” he grins waving the menu at her. 

Michelle takes the menu with a smile, dropping it on the table. Standing from her chair she walks around the table to his side, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her lips against his ear. “I’d rather get out of here” she whispers lips brushing his ear lobe as her hands slowly move down his chest, “Thought we could see just how much you like me being in control” she pulls his earlobe between her teeth gently, she can hear his breath hitch in his throat as she releases his earlobe and presses a kiss to the side of his neck.

Dean hands her his keys to the Impala, “Go get in baby, I’ll settle up here” 

Wrapping her hand around the keys Michelle pulls on her coat, as Dean calls the waiter over. “Oh and Dean I already got the pie” 

She only hears him groan her name as she leaves still slightly giddy, quickly making her way back towards the Impala. 

She’s barely waiting for five minutes when Dean returns to the car a little breathless. “Everything okay?” Michelle asks looking him over slowly, as she hands Dean the keys. 

Dean pushes the key in the ignition before turning back to her, “Yeah, all good sweetheart. Guess I just wanna get us home” he chuckles a little awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

Michelle leans into him as Dean pulls out of the parking lot. Letting her fingers brush the inside of his thigh, “Guess you better hurry up then cowboy” 

With that Dean puts his foot down, the ride is tense to say the least and the sexual tension could be cut with a knife. 

They step inside the bunker and Michelle pulls Dean into a demanding kiss, Dean can’t help but growl into her mouth as he pulls her against him. His hands grip her ass tightly, trying to pull her ever closer. Regretfully she pulls away from his mouth, pressing a single finger to his lips when he tries to chase the kiss.

Dean’s eyes flutter open meeting the the perfect mix of green and blue, “My room, one minute” Michelle smirks, slowly backing away from him, she can almost see him holding himself back from chasing her down those steps. 

“Come on seriously!” he shouts after her but she’s already running towards her room.

Once she’s inside she pulls the chair from the corner of her room and pushes it into the center of the room. She can feel the nervous excitement bubbling in her stomach as she waits for the knock to come. Pulling out a bottle of whiskey from the draw she sits it on the side beside the chair. 

There’s a knock at her door that makes her smile, taking a deep calming breath she turns back to the door with her most seductive smile. “Come in” When Dean walks into her room it reminds her of earlier that evening, “You doing okay there?” she asks as Dean walks in with a smile that would make anyone swoon. 

“Yeah, I'm okay sweetheart. Just a little nervous I guess” he chuckles awkwardly, but that stops when Michelle pushes up on her tiptoes and presses her lips giving him a chaste kiss.

Dean’s hands run across the bottom of her back, “Unzip me Dean” she tells him calmly, not looking away from his eyes. Dean nods swallowing the lump in his throat as his hands hesitantly move up her back, finding the zipper he pulls it down slowly. His eyes are fixed on her face as the zip hits the stopping point. “Good boy, now take a seat” 

Dean does as he’s told, taking the seat in the middle of the room. Michelle walks closer to him, stepping between his open legs. Slowly and teasingly she slips the dress from her shoulders, down her arms and over her full breasts, until it’s able to fall freely to the floor. Stepping out of it she kicks the material to the side along with her shoes. Dean groans deep in his chest, shamelessly letting his eyes run across her body. “Fucking hell baby, you look so hot” He goes to stand and Michelle frowns shaking her head, pushing against his chest with a firm hand so he falls back into the seat with a huff of breath. 

“Maybe we should go over the rules Dean” 

“Wait rules? What, like sexy rules?” he grins excitedly, looking up at her with wide eyes, a clearly excited look in his eyes.

She ignores the question and how much it makes her want to laugh, Dean is fixated on her as she starts to circle around him. “So rule number one, green is for good. If at any time you say red it all stops. Is that clear?” Dean nods quickly as she comes to a stop in front of him. “Use your words baby” Michelle tells him softly, tipping his chin with the tip of her finger so that he’s looking up at her.

Licking his lips Dean shifts in the chair, “Yeah so clear sweetheart” Dean replies in a breathy whisper. 

“Rule two” she purrs reaching down, running her fingers over the line of his cock pressing against the seam of his jeans. “You don’t come, unless I tell you too” 

Dean groans at that, “Fuck sweetheart, you’re gonna kill me” he lets out a grunt as Michelle grips the back of his hair and tugs short and sharp.

As she leans forward her lips brush his and Dean sucks in a breath, “Rule three baby, no sweetheart and no baby. You can call me-” she pauses as if she’s trying to think of something, loving  the way that he squirms in his seat. Her tongue brushes his bottom lip and he practically whimpers, “-You will call me by my name, is that clear” Michelle lets the warning bleed through her voice.

She can see the tightening in Dean’s jaw at the words, but waits patiently for his answer hoping that she hasn’t pushed him too far. Dean’s hands are griping the sides of the chair tightly and his eyes are dark and glassy, he still hasn’t looked away though. Then his body relaxes slightly, “Yes Michelle” he breathes quietly and she can’t deny the way that her pussy flutters when those words leave his parted lips.

“Such a good boy Dean,” she praises him, loving how he relaxes a little further with those simple words. 

Michelle quickly presses her lips to his, the fingers of her free hand slowly brush down Dean’s throat, the muscles straining with the way his head is pulled back. With Dean’s parted lips Michelle's tongue pushes into his mouth easily, entwining with Dean’s ripping a moan from deep in his chest, his skilful tongue already proving itself as she sighs into his mouth.

As she slowly pulls away Dean’s breathing is a little erratic, “Please Michelle” Dean whines as she pulls away from him slowly. 

“Don’t worry baby, you’re doing so well. Now come here” Michelle’s voice remains calm as Dean stands slowly on shaky legs walking towards her. 

Her hands run slowly up his chest, pushing his red shirt over his broad shoulders. “Colour?” 

“Green, I’m okay” he replies quietly as her fingers brush across his stomach, pushing his black t-shirt up and he helps her pull it over his head. 

“Good boy” she smiles gently, Dean returns her smile biting his bottom lip when her fingers start tugging at his belt. When the belt clangs open she backs off slightly, “Take those off and sit back down” 

Dean keeps his eyes on hers a slightly cocky smirk on his lips as he pops the button of his jeans, pulling down the zip slowly. Pushing the jeans down over his hips and ass before he kicks them off to the side and takes his seat again. He can’t help but adjust himself in his boxers, especially when he notices Michelle taking a swig of whiskey, watching the way her lips wrap around the bottle. He can’t help but smile as she winces when she swallows the liquid. Bottle in hand she walks back over to him sitting in his lap, letting her thighs drape over his. Dean groans when she rolls her hips over him, he can feel the heat of her little pussy as it brushes over his covered cock.

Michelle tips the bottle to his lips and Dean takes a long drink before she pulls it away placing it on the floor beside the chair, savouring the burn as it goes down his throat smoothly. 

Michelle starts rolling her hips again keeping her hands on his shoulders, enjoying the gasps and moans that it pulls from Dean’s lips, “You look so good like this Dean, fucking perfect” she breathes heavily against his neck, sucking a mark into his neck, teeth scraping against the skin as she pulls away, causing Dean to groan loudly.

“Wanna feel you Michelle, please. Take your panties off, please” there's a shake to his voice as he looks up at her, she can practically hear the chair groaning under his grip.

“Breathe baby, you’re gonna break the chair” she giggles a little at Dean’s grunt, when he pushes his hips up Michelle gently pinches his nipple, pulling a small gasp from the hunter. “Don’t make me tie you up, Dean” 

Dean stills in his seat, taking deeper breaths as he tries to calm himself down. Michelle stands from his lap, hooking her thumbs in the sides of her panties. “You want these off baby?” she asks seductively as she rolls her hips. 

“Fuck, please Michelle” Dean groans, reaching for her, his fingers digging into her hips as he tries to pull her towards him. Taking her hands out of her panties they land on his. Dean quickly realises by the look in her eyes that he’s broken the bet rule, she was in charge and not once had she said he could touch her.

Swallowing thickly he pulls his hands away biting his lip as he looks down, she grabs his hair in her hand again and pulls his head up, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “Boxers off and get on the bed, these stay on until you’re a good boy again” her voice is a warning all on it’s own, Dean can’t help but marvel at how powerful and sexy she is. 

The last words suddenly hit him and his eyes went a little wider, “I’m sorry Mistress. Take them off please, I’ll be good” Dean begs with pleading eyes.

“Did I fucking stutter Dean. Bed now. This is your last warning, you’re not in charge tonight I am” Dean’s cock twitches as he silently climbs on the bed, he’d been in similar situations before, but with Michelle everything was so much more intense. He’d never needed someone to fuck him so bad in his life. Dean pulls off his boxers and lays on the bed, hands at his sides by his hips. “Colour?” Michelle checks climbing on the bed between his slightly parted legs.

Dean almost swallows his fucking tongue at the sight of her, “G-Green” he half stutters as her nails rake down his thighs. 

He can feel his warm pre-come leaking out onto his stomach, “There’s my good boy. Now hands above your head, hold on to the headboard” she instructs, her voice sounding more like a purr to Dean.

Straddling his legs she leans behind herself and unhooks her bra, letting it fall down her arms. “Oh fucking hell” Dean moans dropping his head back into the pillows.

“Dean look at me baby, wanna see your gorgeous face” her words make him moan as her breath ghosts over his aching cock. 

Dean lifts his head from the pillow, he can’t stop the whimper falling past his lips, when her tongue just barely brushes the head of his cock. Michelle moans at the taste of his pre-come hits her taste buds. “Please Michelle suck my cock, I need it” Dean begs shamelessly, pushing his ass down into the bed to stop himself from pushing towards her mouth. 

“So pretty when you beg baby” she smiles, nails creating red tracks down his thigh as she drags them across his skin. “You think you really deserve it?” 

The question seems to catch Dean off guard for a moment, but he bites his lip and shakes his head. When she presses a kiss to the tip of his swollen cock. Quickly remembering himself he speaks up. “No Michelle, I’ve been a bad boy” 

“I’m impressed” she smiles straddling his hips, her panty covered pussy sliding over his bare cock. Dean’s teeth sink into his bottom lip as he watches her, trying not to beg for more than he deserves. Michelle loves the look on his face as she continues to use him, every moan he bites back she can still hear, the way his thighs shake beneath her ass.

Suddenly she stops her movements, causing Dean to suck in breath at the needy throb of his cock. Michelle stands from the bed, making Dean whimper and crane his neck when she comes to stand by his head at the side of the bed. Pushing her panties down slowly, past her hips and over the curve ass she lets them fall the rest of the way and kicks them to the side. “I think you deserve a little treat, so tell me Dean. What do you want?” 

Dean answers without hesitation, “Wanna make you come Michelle, sit on my face please” 

She shivers at his neediness to please her, “Since you asked so nicely baby” smiling as she climbs onto the bed, her knees on either side of his head. Michelle’s hands push into his hair as she slowly lowers herself close to his eager mouth. 

“You smell so fucking good” Dean practically growls, licking his lips when she tugs harshly at his hair. As soon as she’s close enough Dean’s tongue brushes through her soaked folds, the moan that comes from him vibrates through Michelle’s body. She lets herself lower down further, practically sitting on his face as she rolls her hips against his tongue.

Michelle’s eyes flick up to the headboard, seeing Dean’s hands flex around the bars. She knows what he wants and when his tongue pushes inside her she almost gives in. As he shakes his head back and forth, his nose continues to brush against her clit. She’s so fucking close, the coil in her stomach so close to snapping. “Dean” she whimpers his name looking down at him, her eyelids heavy, breath coming out thick and fast. “So close baby boy. Gonna come all over your face. You feel so good” 

Her needy whining praise makes him double his efforts, growling into her as he feels her walls beginning flutter around his tongue and her thighs begin to quiver around his head. Her grip tightens in his hair with the final brush against her clit she comes, it’s hard and fast, almost painful as it burns it’s way across her skin. A scream of his name, followed by a string of curses is all he hears, though its muffled by her thighs squeezing tightly. She clings to him to stay up right as Dean happily laps up everything that she gives him. 

Releasing his hair she gently runs her fingers through the soft locks, sitting back on his chest as she comes down from her high. “That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever fucking seen Michelle” Dean groans as she moves down his body pressing kisses to his skin. 

“Thank you baby, you were so good for me” she purrs licking along the tip of his very red swollen cock, lapping up his heady pre-come. “Think it’s your turn now” Dean whimpers when she doesn’t stop there, wrapping her hand around his thick length, slowly pumping him in her fist, wrapping her lips around the swollen head and sucking lightly. 

“Oh fuck me” Dean cries out, throwing his head back into the pillows. The muscles in his thighs are burning as he clenches them tightly. The obvious sheen of sweat that coats both their bodies visible in the bedroom light

She pulls off of his cock looking up at him as he looks down with a blissed out look on his face, “Oh don’t worry honey, I plan on it” she smiles licking a line from the base to the tip of his length. Then she takes him back into her mouth again, moving one of her hands to his thigh as the other gently plays with his balls. 

“Fuck! Please. I’m gonna come” Dean practically shouts when his cock hits the back of her throat. Michelle smiles around him despite herself knowing what’s coming before it even happens. Almost thirty seconds later he does it, Dean’s hands drop from the headboard and push into her hair. Despite the way Dean tugs at her hair trying to pull her back, Michelle releases his cock with a lewd pop. “Please don’t stop. I’m so close” His eyes are wild begging her, his lips red from his teeth sinking into them. 

“Colour?” Michelle questions quietly, Dean’s hands drop from her hair and he swallows hard.

After a little thought he answers just barely above a whisper, “G-Green” 

“You sure?” she checks, straddling his hips nails gently scraping down his chest, over his soft stomach.

“Yeah, green. I-I’m good Michelle” 

“Good boy” she praises leaning forward over him, kissing licking and sucking at his neck, loving the way his breathing quicken beneath her. “You ever been tied up before baby? Because you clearly can’t keep those big strong hands to yourself can you?” Her question seems to take him by surprise but he shifts and clears his throat when she looks up their eyes meet.

She presses a chaste kiss to his lips, tasting herself there. “Yes Michelle. I’m sorry, just wanna touch you” 

Michelle ignores the last bit as she asks her question, “Did you like it?” she asks kissing his plump lips again.

“Yes” he swallows the breathy whine that leaves his lips as she reaches behind him, pulling out the rope from the back of the bed. Dean looks up above his head and licks his lips when she wraps the soft rope around his wrists.

Once she’s finished Dean tugs at his bindings, causing Michelle to smile. “Feel okay?” 

“Yeah, s’good” Dean answers as she moves back down his body, gripping his cock in her hand stroking it gently. 

“I’m gonna fuck you now baby, would you like that?” 

“God please, yes please. I need it” Dean whines desperately.

“Beg me Dean” 

That three words almost makes him come, Michelle squeezes the base of his cock as he throbs in her hand. “I can’t take it anymore please. I want you to fuck me. Wanna come just for you, want you to fucking own me” 

Her pussy flutters at that and how the fuck can you say no to that. “I already do baby” she smirks sinking down on his cock. Whimpering as he fills her perfectly, he’s so much bigger than anyone she’s ever had before. The shiver that rolls through her body has her falling against his chest as Dean’s eyes roll into the back of his head. “Fuck that’s big” she half laughs half moans. 

Dean groans as her laughter shoots straight through his cock, “Michelle, I’m not gonna last” Dean breathes out, his voice shaking as he looks up at her.

“That’s okay baby, just wait for me to tell you too. It’s gonna feel so good I promise” Michelle tells him calmly as she rolls her hips. 

“You’re so fucking tight” 

Leaning on his chest Michelle begins to lift herself off his cock and sink back down. The rise and fall of her body makes her tits bounce, Dean’s fucking hypnotised by her body and the way that she moves. “Feel so good Dean” she whines nails sinking into his chest. Continuing to bounce on his cock. 

“Please untie me Michelle, I just wanna feel you” Dean begs through his panting breath, hands tightly wrapped around the ropes that bind him to the bed. 

“If I -fuck!” she cries out when Dean’s hips thrust up against her, she reaches back harshly slapping his thigh, Dean hisses through his teeth. “Don’t start Dean” she warns breathlessly as Dean growls back. “Do you want me to fucking stop Dean” she warns and his eyes immediately go wide. 

“No! No god I’m sorry just please” he whines desperately, giving another tug of his arms.

“I was about to say if you’re good then I’ll untie you, but you still do as I say” 

“Yes anything you say, just wanna make you feel good” Dean rushes to explain licking his lips when she reaches forward.

“Good boy. Now, fuck me while I untie you” she instructs him, pressing a quick but rough kiss to his lips.

“Oh fuck yes” Dean groans huskily, as he roughly thrusts his hips up, immediately brushing against her most sensitive spot. Michelle cries out as one of Dean’s hands slips free, groping at her breast roughly, rolling her sensitive nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Dean’s thrusts are fucking brutal and she can feel the coil in her stomach wound tight, almost ready to burst. Almost as if Dean can read her mind, he drops her breast after a final tug at her nipple, reaching between their sweaty bodies he presses two rough fingers to her sensitive clit. Dean has to fight every urge and need not to come with her, he’s so fucking hard and her slick is dripping onto his balls. He’s not sure he’s ever been this turned on in his entire life.

White light bursts behind her eyelids as she comes, gripping to Dean’s arms as his hands roughly grip her ass, firmly sliding down her stocking covered legs. Loving the way that she feels under his hands. 

When she comes down from her orgasm she blinks her eyes open, quickly meeting Dean’s gorgeous green eyes. “Did you come?” she pants against his chest looking up at him, Dean whimpers shaking his head as she clenches around him.

“N-No” Dean replies in a broken whisper.

Michelle is slightly shocked as she looks at him, “Sit up baby, you’ve done so amazing for me” Dean shifts slightly beneath her as she sits up in his lap, his hands hesitate slightly as he sits up pressing his sweaty chest to hers. “It’s okay Dean, touch me please I want you to” He wraps one arm around her back, pulling her close as the other pushes into her thick curls. “Kiss me baby” she breathes softly against his lips as her hands push into his damp hair.

Dean presses his lips to hers, the soft careful kiss quickly turns insistent and desperate. Michelle moves again, rolling her hips against him swallowing all of his moans and whimpers as she works him towards his release again. Dean’s grip tightens on her as she picks up the pace, “Shit so close Michelle” he whines into her mouth as their tongues roll against one another.

Her lips release his soft barely their kisses across his jaw and down his throat. “Just hold it a little longer baby” He feels her pussy flutter around him again and whines loudly, “Use that pretty mouth baby talk to me” she moans against his ear, tugging the ear lobe between her teeth gently.

Dean feels like he’s loosing his fucking mind, she’s everything he’s ever wanted and so much more. Her forehead drops to his and she places a sweet kiss on the tip of his nose. “Want you to come all over my fucking cock, hear you scream my name. That bet was the best thing I ever did, just wanna be your good boy” he whines loudly, knowing what it does to her to hear him so desperate.

“Oh god Dean. Come for me baby boy” Michelle whimpers as her nails dig into Dean’s shoulders feeling herself falling off the edge as Dean starts meeting thrusts, she comes again, this time looking into his eyes.

She watches Dean fall apart under her just like she’d thought about since that bet, he’s the sexiest thing in the fucking world in that moment. He growls so fucking deep she can feel it in her chest, every muscle in his body goes stiff as board. His parted lips beg to be bitten and kissed and sucked, his eyes squeezed shut as he clung tightly to her. As Michelle did her best to work him through it.

He falls back on the bed practically shivering as he holds her tight, Michelle squeals a little laugh. Quickly realising what he needs, she pulls the covers up and holds him against her. “Hey, you’re okay Dean I’ve got you” she whispers against the top of his head as he nuzzles against her chest, his arms wrapped around her waist as he breathes her in.

After five minutes of gently whispering praises to him and kissing the top of his head Dean finally speaks. “S-Shit, sorry. That was just so fucking intense” 

Slipping down the bed so that her face is level with his she presses a gentle kiss against his lips. “Hey, don’t you dare apologise! You did so well Dean, really I don’t think I’ve come so much or so hard” her small laugh makes him smile, green eyes shining as they meet the perfect mix of green and blue swirling in her eyes.

“Thank you, you were something else though” he grins hands finally moving across her body soothingly, making her sigh and smile against his lips. 

“You feeling a little better now?” she questions cupping his cheeks gently, thumbs brushing over his freckled cheeks.

“Yeah. I’m okay” he smiles kissing her slow and sweet, “Just glad I finally got the balls to ask you out, I’ve wanted you for so long” 

The shock is obvious as he looks at her with a frown, “You have?” 

He blushes a little, shrugging with a shy smile. “Surprised you didn’t notice” he laughs brushing the hair out of her eyes.

“I guess I never let myself think about it” she replies quietly, her tiredness making itself known with a big yawn, which Dean quickly reciprocates.

“Maybe we could talk a little more. After a sleep” he smiles as her legs tangle with his. She hums in agreement snuggling up against him, his head resting against her chest again. Michelle sighs utterly blissed out as she combs her fingers through his hair.

“Night Dean, thank you” 

“Night sweetheart” Dean says making her smile against the top of his head, thinking that if he ever did get control of her she was sure she wouldn’t mind.

My tags: 

@chewie-redbird @julzdec @lettersofwrittencollective @stiles-o-dylan24 @mogaruke @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @desiree---1986 @emichelle @lilulo-12 @22sarah08 @deanwanddamons @simsadventures  @charmed-asylum @fandom-princess-forevermore @flamencodiva @hobby27 @akshi8278 @littlelonewolfgirl @ladywinchester1967 @screechingartisancashbailiff

Dean Smut, The Pond Tags: (Sorry If any of you don’t want to be tagged! Then please just ignore this!)

@aprofoundbondwithdean @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing  @nichelle-my-belle @notnaturalanahi @bkwrm523 @deanscarlett @roxy-davenport @impala-dreamer @samsgoddess @frenchybell @scorpiongirl1​ @deandoesthingstome​ @deansleather​ @curliesallovertheplace​ @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname​ @waywardjoy​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious​ @kayteonline​ @supernatural-jackles​ @wevegotworktodo​ @quiddy-writes​ @babypieandwhiskey​ @supermoonpanda​  @deanwinchesterforpromqueen​ @chaos-and-the-calm67​ @memariana91​ @plaidstiel-wormstache​ @teamfreewill-imagine​ @chelsea-winchester​ @becs-bunker​ @castieltrash1​ @supernaturalyobessed​ @ruined-by-destiel​ @winchester-writes​ @evilskank-inthemegacoven​ @maraisabellegrey-blog​ @faith-in-dean​ @winchestersmolder​ @bennyyh​ @clueless-gold​ @deanwinchesterxreader​ @winchester-family-business​ @there-must-be-a-lock​ @just-another-winchester​ @emoryhemsworth​ @cas-backwards-tie​ @winecatsandpizza​ @firefly-in-darkness​ @supersassyprobablysad​

[earnestly-endlessly]

what about your favourite cherik fics of all time? (:

Dear anon, I am so sorry for the delay. I’ve been meaning to put this list for about a week now, but I feel as if I’m missing some fics. Most of these are fandom favourites and might not come as any surprise, but these are my all time favourite fics that I’ve probably read more than once and more than twice. I tried to keep a wide variety of fics, including both one-shots and multi-chapters as well as different genres. I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I do.

Earnestly-endlessly’s Favourite Cherik Fics 

***********************************************

Anarchy in the U.K. – Yahtzee

Summary: “Good God, Erik thought. The Prince of Wales is gay.”

Charles lives in the unceasing glare of the public spotlight, yet keeps his sexual orientation a closely held secret, afraid he could lose his throne and force his deeply troubled younger sister into a role that would crush her. Erik, journalist and world traveler, has been a loner most of his life; he has little patience for closet cases. But a chance meeting in Kenya brings these two opposites together and sets in motion a love affair that will challenge the British monarchy – and their most deeply held beliefs about who they are, and who they should be.

Continuing Education – aesc and spicedpiano

Summary: To his students, Erik Lehnsherr is despotic and terrifying. To his department head, he’s the brilliant young researcher who abandoned his prestigious job overnight, moving across the country to join MIT’s faculty. But to Charles Xavier, he is a contradiction. As Erik and Charles settle into their new roles as colleagues, their professional rivalry starts to spill over into the personal.

The Sonnet Series – afrocurl, nekosmuse

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a visiting professor at Columbia University, as well as an acclaimed and award winning poet. Charles Xavier is a lead researcher with the Genetics Department who is well on his way to tenure. But what happens when Charles has to cancel a class because half his students abandon him in favour of a mysterious new English Lit professor? Naturally he ends up sitting in in the class, where Professor Lehnsherr mistakes him for a student. It’s really too bad Erik has such a strict policy against dating students. It’s also too bad Erik doesn’t seem to know how to use Google.

Bifurcation – spicedpiano

Summary: Bifurcation - (n.) the splitting of a main body into two parts.

In medicine, a single mistake can mean the difference between life and death.

For cardiothoracic surgeon Charles Xavier, a fatal error leaves him standing at a crossroads … and at the mercy of the man he has not faced since their relationship fell apart thirteen months ago.

Dr. Erik Lehnsherr has a fearsome reputation. Due to his incisive autopsy reports, he has gotten more surgeons fired in two years than any other pathologist has managed over an entire career. But when an old enemy returns to Erik’s life, he must find a way to temper his pride – or lose the man he loves, all over again.

Runs in the Family – Anonysquirrel (chibrisuchan)

Summary: In which mpreg!Charles Bakes All The Things, overprotective!Erik calls his small round tea-drinking husband “Vati’s little teapot”, Tony Stark/Bad Ideas is Stark Industries’ most profitable OTP, and Alex and Steve are somehow along for the ride. And the cookies.

For the Record – endingthemes

Summary: As prominent figures in the mutant rights movement, activists Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are pretty much household names. When a romance scandal between them breaks, their celebrity reaches new heights, and though the increased exposure is great, there’s a big problem – the two of them are just friends.

Too bad no one believes them.

Rumor Mill – Ikeracity

Summary: Erik is the grumpiest, most foul tempered worker at Stark industries. His grumpiness is the stuff of legends. So it’s obviously the talk of the office when Erik is being made to go to the company party and he’s bringing his husband. There’s rumors flying round about how much of a masochist or equally antisocial bastard Erik’s husband must be to put up with him. Others think he must be a meek mouse perhaps bullied by Erik.

What they weren’t expecting was the confident, charming, adorable and unbelievably nice Charles that turns up on Erik’s arm. What they certainly weren’t expecting was how much Erik obviously adores his husband and how happy he is to let others see this.

Into Your Tar, Honey – tomato_greens

Summary: Really, Alex doesn’t know why he’s in the damn class. (Or, the one in which Charles teaches an online Introduction to Biology course, and Alex reads more than he expected to.)

If You Like The Book, You’ll Hate the Movie – paperclipbitch

Summary: Modern-Day High School AU. It’s not until Hank realises half the class are glancing towards the back of the classroom with something like nerves and something like schadenfreude that he finds out Alex Summers is back.

The boy with the heart on his sleeve – euphorbic

Summary: Charles loses a high-stakes bet to Raven and is required to get a tattoo. However, when he makes a disparaging remark about the art form, Raven’s acerbic mentor, Erik, steps in.

Or, the one where Erik and Raven are tattoo artists.

Enigma – Yahtzee

Summary: Written for the following prompt: Erik dies, or finds a reversey-time mutant, or a magical time travelling device, and wakes up in the past. This time, though, it’s before he ever met Charles - in fact, it’s before his mother died.

He can save his mother that one time (thanks to his mastery over powers carrying back), but what does Erik do after that? Does he stick around, or escape and run to find Charles again (and hope everything doesn’t go wrong)?

Mutually Beneficial Transaction – Pookaseraph

Summary: In his sophomore year at Columbia University, Erik, feeling slowly strangled by his mounting college debt, places an add on a sugar daddies website. He doesn’t know exactly what to expect from it, but when he’s contacted by a man named Charles who seems less creepy than the other people who have responded to his profile, he decides to give it a shot. Charles is nothing like what he expected, and Erik finds himself slowly falling in love with his sugar daddy while trying to find out exactly what caused this amazing guy to buy his emotional and sexual intimacy when he clearly deserves so much more than that.

Food, Family, and Friends with Benefits – endingthemes

Summary: “Everyone,” Edie says, voice bursting with pride. “Erik’s here, and he’s brought his friend.” She takes Charles’ arm and pulls him forward, presenting him like a shiny object. “This is Charles.”

Charles manages a weak wave and an even weaker, “Hello.”

(In which Charles gets dragged along to his fuck buddy’s parent’s house to celebrate a Jewish holiday, and things get weird.)

In Plain Sight – arcapelago (arcanewinter)

Summary: A story where Charles and Erik have basically been together from the first time they met. The whole fate, wow we found each other thing. Now I would like the others not to know and try to bring the two 'oblivious' guys together. They of course enjoy this quite a lot 

Limited Release – rageprufrock

Summary: When Alex Summers broke out of supermax to rescue his stupid kid brother, he had no idea it was going to be so fucking complicated.

Daycare Verse – brilligspoons, pocky_slash

Summary: A modern AU in which Charles runs a mutant daycare and Erik is his long-suffering engineer boyfriend.

Marrying a Mob – Ook

Summary: Charles is a teacher at a very exclusive school. When armed men burst in on the trail of two children, of course he stands up to them and gets hurt. The children are Erik Lehnsherr's children (of course); a "prominent businessman" or, less politely, "mobster". Erik is grateful to Charles for saving his children's lives at the cost of his kneecap. So very grateful.Naturally he tries to reward Charles for his actions. Equally naturally, Charles will be having none of that.Azazel finds the whole thing unspeakably hilarious. Naturally.

Chessmen (XMFC/Inception fusion AU) – kaydeefalls

Boden’s Mate: “Shaw has information that we need, and we need him alive to extract it,” Moira says, and there it is: the job is on the table. Extraction.

XMFC/Inception fusion AU. Erik is an extractor, Alex is his point man. They’re assembling a team to go after the most dangerous mind in dreamsharing: Sebastian Shaw. But unless Alex and the team can keep him in check, Erik’s desire for vengeance might just rip the whole job apart around them – and then there’s the shade that haunts his dreams…

Queen’s Gambit: “My name is Nick Fury,” he tells Raven. “And I’m here to talk to you about Cain Marko.”

XMFC/Inception fusion, sequel to Boden’s Mate. Raven’s running her own extractions these days, but the job S.H.I.E.L.D.’s dumped in her lap is a real shitshow. Two marks, two simultaneous dreams, eleven dreamers, and a hell of a lot of baggage. Time to call in a few favors – and did she mention the job involves inception?

Tabula Rasa – kaydeefalls

Summary: Five ways Erik might have first met Charles.

Humane Society – smilebackwards

Summary: Once Erik finally allows himself to decide that Charles is pretty much the best thing since sliced bread, he spends the next week being incredibly bitter that he’s Charles’ cat and not his boyfriend.

Idiot Control Now – cygnaut

Summary: Hank screws something up in the lab and everyone’s powers increase tenfold. Not knowing how to control them like this, they all try to cope and not kill each other by mistake while Hank tries to find a way to reverse the effects. Charles has a particularly hard time of it.

White Nights – spicedpiano, tahariel

Summary: Duke Erik Lehnsherr of Ironhold needs an omega to carry on his line, and Earl Charles Xavier of Westchester needs an alpha to give him the political leverage he needs in order to make his sister Queen. An arranged marriage brings them together, but Erik’s lust for war and Charles’ hidden agenda threaten to tear them apart. In the frozen Northlands of Ironhold life is hard and cold, and both Charles and Erik must give up their pretense and see each other as they really are: perfect for each other, if only they’ll acknowledge it.

Nation Building and other Diplomatic Negotiations – Pookaseraph

Summary: With the recent passage of a submissive registration law in the United Kingdom, there are now only two industrialized nation with a relatively stable government to have neither a mutant nor a submissive registration law. Erik Lehnsherr, the newly minted King of Genosha, and his Prime Minister Emma Frost intend to take advantage of this turn of events to bring the Xavier Institute to the island nation of Genosha. They both know bringing Charles Xavier, the noted activist of mutant and submissive rights, to the island will necessarily politicize the man, and create all manner of complications. With a constitution not yet finalized and external threats to Genoshan security all around them, Erik, Emma, and Charles will fight for what they believe in to shape Genosha into what it should be.

A Genosha AU with moderate D/s elements.

Politico – cygnaut

Summary: Modern Genosha Politics AU. In which Erik is l'enfant terrible of the mutant National Assembly, and his staff just wants to get him laid.

The Courtship – dvs

Summary: A story about a courtship that began five hundred years ago.

This Family comes with Batteries – Fishwrites, lynneh

Summary: A orphaned Charles Xavier goes to live with his Godfather: Tony Stark. This story is a tale of what would have happened to the events of MCU, if Tony was raising a six year old telepath in Stark Tower. There is also the matter of Charles’ robot AI manny/bodyguard/tutor/only-friend, David.

Space Oddity – MonstrousRegiment, Pangea

Space Jam: Prince Charles Xavier is Deputy Commander of the TEF Heartsteel and the newest mission they’ve been assigned starts out less than desirable and quickly goes downhill from there. It’s alright, though, he’ll cope.

It doesn’t help, though, that he’s in unrequited love with his best friend and Commander of the Heartsteel, War-Prince Erik Lehnsherr.

Jupiter Jazz: Prince Charles Xavier is still Deputy Commander of the TEF Heartsteel and life has been great ever since he and his best friend and Commander of the Heartsteel, War-Prince Erik Lehnsherr, finally got all of their feelings out on the table. Better than great, really.

It doesn’t help, though, that the Nyrulians are a bit sore over him blowing up their ship, and a war is brewing. And because Charles has that kind of luck, they’re in the middle of it.

I have loved the stars too fondly: Erik and Charles, directly after the events of Jupiter Jazz.Nothing will ever be the same.

The stars incline us, they do not bind us – ikeracity, pangea

Summary: Intergalactic Federation pilot Lieutenant Charles Xavier is assigned last-minute to a high profile mission: transporting over two thousand prison inmates from an old and overfilled prison complex to a newer, higher-capacity prison stronghold located on the outer reaches of the galaxy. Just as he’s settling down for a long and uneventful ride, things take a turn for the worse after the inmates riot and stage a hostile takeover of the ship, leaving Charles to find himself at the complete mercy of cold-blooded killers and facing the chilling prospect that he might not ever make it back home alive.

Tough little baby telepath – aesc, pearl_o

Summary: Teenage telepath Charles Xavier takes a job as a consultant, working with prickly police detective Erik Lehnsherr. Charles is used to being on his own and taking care of himself; he has no reason to think that his relationship with this stern, icy man is going to change any of that.

An absence which could not be more there – aesc

Summary: He prepared to shift another half-step over to the Current Events section (which would, of course, enrage him) when the teaser positioned by the model’s left elbow caught his eye: DATING WHILE TELEPATHIC: WHY I DON’T DO IT.

Backseat ‘verse´ – tahariel

Summary: “Charles has a very sweet nature,” Raven is saying, her hand falling to the back of his head and stroking his hair very gently, carelessly affectionate. “He doesn’t need someone to force him down, he’s very happy to go there himself. If Erik is the sort to need a fight, then there’s no way I could let him have my brother.”

Simple and Uncomplicated – Pookaseraph

Summary: Erik and Charles had been fuck buddies for some, but when Charles is in an accident he figured their relationship would be over. Erik’s visit to his bedside in the hospital changes his assumptions even as he has trouble believing Erik is sincere.

Made To Be Broken – Yahtzee

Summary: Charles makes a New Year’s Resolution: “No more straight men,” Charles repeated as he began scrolling through the apartment directory for Emma’s name. “No more futility. No more pointless hoping and heartbreak. In 2013, I never want to hear the words ‘exception,’ ‘experimenting’ or ‘phase.’ If, God forbid, I hear ‘bicurious’ even once, I may take a hostage.” Then he goes into the party, and Erik is there.

Five Bullet Points – Sperare

Summary: It was supposed to be Erik locked away in a prison one hundred stories below the ground.

Charles was never supposed to be there with him.

Terrifying Domesticity – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is the most dangerous and notorious mafia boss around for miles, and yet the strangest things terrify him. For example: his children, and his very pregnant mate.

The Trouble With Telepaths – endingthemes

Summary: “Are you shy about me meeting your family?” Erik asks with a huge smile. “Are you kidding me?”“It’s not funny,” Charles says, his hands firmly planted on his hips, and it’s honestly hilarious so Erik laughs right in his face.(Or a Star Trek AU in which Captain Erik Lehnsherr pays a visit to First Officer Charles Xavier's home planet and encounters a few surprises.)

Stolen – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is a miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, and he has every fucking right to be. He drew the short end of the stick when he got the Underworld as his domain, and there isn't very much fun to be had in judging and governing dead souls who would rather be anywhere else but with Erik in the depths of Hell.

So when he meets Charles, brilliant and lovely Charles who is more popularly known amongst the mortals as Persephone, and feels the promise of something wonderful that could make his eternally doomed existence infinitely more bearable... you can bet all your drachmas Erik's not going to let Charles go any fucking time soon.

The Mutant Games – TurtleTotem

Summary: "You'll be fine, darling," Charles murmured, half-asleep, into golden hair as Raven crawled sniffling into his bed. "Your name's only in there once, Raven. They're not going to pick you." (Hunger Games AU)

City by the sea – Black_Betty

Summary: It never bothered Charles that he essentially belonged to someone else from birth. Ever since he could remember he had been told stories about the mysterious prince who was his betrothed, and who one day would be called husband. As he grew older, Charles caught his thoughts drifting away from lessons under strict tutors, his mind slipping into the hazy daydream of his life yet to come…

In Shadow and in Silence – Yahtzee

Summary: Written for the following prompt: Erik is an aggressive, dangerous, cynical mutant, hardened from years of being passed through private laboratories and used for experimentation. He’s covered in surgical scars from operations, tattooed and bar coded like a lab rat, and blind from an experiment done on his eyes. … Charles Xavier finds out about him. Charles runs a sort of sanctuary for mutants that provides lost, abandoned, abused, runaway mutants with shelter, comfort, and help with ability control. He thinks he can rehabilitate Erik and save him from execution, and convinces the government that he can.

When Erik arrives, he is a lot worse than Charles thought he would be … Everyone else can see that Erik is a nuclear bomb waiting to go off, but Charles refuses to give up on him. …

The first time Charles sneaks up on him wearing no metal, it triggers him and he reacts instinctively, with violence. … Erik discovers why Charles understands him so well: he was once used in experiments as well, experiments run by his own family, and in one of them, he lost his voice, so he uses his telepathy to communicate.

Blind Erik, mute Charles, the love.

Everyday Love in Stockholm – tahariel

Summary: Prompt: Magneto is the ruler of the posthuman world. His only secret? Charles Xavier, the human he’s kept locked in his bedroom ever since his right-hand woman, Mystique, came to him pleading for mercy for her stepbrother, who accepted her mutant form and protected her as a child. The human he started fucking after Mystique was killed in battle, despite the guilt he feels at contaminating even this last promise to the woman who was integral to his life’s work and happiness.

The Tower and the Hurricane – dreamlittleyo

Summary: (Post-movie AU.) Five years after Shaw's death, Erik's predictions prove painfully accurate. Violence rages on both sides of the human/mutant conflict. In a world ravaged by war, it doesn't really matter who's more at fault. Charles struggles to teach his students a better way, but what choices will he make when peace really isn't an option?

Honest Bone and Burning Thought – Black_Betty

Summary: And so sometimes, his mind buzzing away, bright and brilliant and humming with pure expansive energy, Charles speaks without thinking at all. Without censoring himself. Without realizing that his brain has reached out and snatched something that was never his to know, or take…

The Attempt – Yahtzee

Summary: Written for the following prompt: Charles knows everything about Erik, knows how obsessive and self-destructive he is, how Erik would do anything, give anything, in his quest for vengeance against Shaw. But he also knows that Erik loves him in ways that aren't exactly platonic. I'd like to see a completely straight!Charles, out of pure love and care of Erik, initiate a romantic relationship with him. It can be because he wishes to give Erik something positive in his life or because he thinks it might help change Erik's mind about Shaw, the reason is up to author. Also, while Charles finds intimacy with Erik strange and awkward, he does enjoy the new, non-romantic layers that have developed in their relationship.

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

the funniest jokes in bfdi

flower’s announcer crusher that she just. has, and everyone else just uses it too

trying to put out a fire by holding ice cube’s recovery center over the fire so she just falls into it endlessly

every single one of yellow face’s products, including but not limited to

fork attractant, for when you need a fork but don’t have the cutlery on hand

headphones you cannot change the volume on or remove

money slips, you just write an amount on them, and it counts as legal tender

“thats a pentagon!” “yeah! like if you took my name and added ‘Tagon’!“

in like episode 2 when they all run away from something and a second later flower casually power-walks away from it instead of running

when balloony deflated and a while later cloudy flies over and goes “i cannot believe it! this is a dead body!!”

“he’s not dead, he just needs a little help thats all! (starts reinflating him too fast) but i agree, he is a hindrance when he is deflate- ohh noooo”

hollow jawbreakers that sound can come into but can’t go out of

when they stuck loser in a jawbreaker they inverted it, so they can hear him talk to himself but he cant hear anything around him

no one seems to know that thats why they can hear him

one time they all ended up in space. because of budget cuts.

actually every time budget cuts lead to something that seems way cooler than their previous stuff, like sparkly purple lasers instead of a mechanical arm to eliminate people with

the consistently bad cake at stake prizes. one time it was just a block of ice cut into six pieces. one time it was dirty shovels.

the magical die of judgement

when freesmart drove across the ocean in their van and they managed it by holding their breath and each time one of them died they just recovered them and threw their corpse out the back

golf ball messing up naming her team by saying things like “we need to be another name” and ending up on teams called Another Name and A Better Name Than That

one team was formed entirely around learning to not kill people. pillow overhears them say “youre against killing?” and goes “:D did someone say killing??”

tennis ball admonishing rocky for not knowing how to write: “no arms is no excuse”

they had to find a needle in a haystack and needle just turned herself in, successfully

when they started using a board with the points written on it on flaps of paper instead of a computer screen, but due to budget cuts, it could only display two digits per contestant, so anyone who went over 100 started immediately dropping to the bottom of the rankings

when ice cube was sleeping at the cake of stake podiums and got shot up into the air at like 3000 mph

2763

when the eliminated contestants tried to escape the loser chamber and they just rolled it off into the ocean

theyre saved because the sun rises and picks them up out of the ocean

also apparently the chamber opens for like five minutes a day for sunlight, but instead of just climbing out during that time, which they seem to be capable of doing, they do a much more convoluted thing

they were sick of four so they got rid of him by multiplying him with donut, and it worked

ruby has some really weirdly specific ideas of beauty and coaches flower

the line delivery of “killing a bubble is as easy as one, two, th(pop)” “i just learned two things about bubble: she can be su i c i d a l and she’s S O D U M B she CANT even count to T H R E E!”

a few episodes later bubble angrily shows them she CAN count to three if she lives long enough to do so, and pencil and match are both like :O :O

bubbles first line in season four is her rapidly counting to ten before getting popped

the way each team breaks their jawbreakers

8 ball just goes “MNYAH” and bites it in half

"okay black hole, do the thing”

leafy tries to use woody’s tongue to lick it open even though rocky and balloony were doing just fine using acid

iance just going ‘bwehbwehbweh’ all licking the same one

team ice cube was doing a mix of bwebwhbehbbwehbw and loudly drilling it open with naily

when four loved so hard he shot eraser off over the horizon

when they’re discussing team names in season one  and theyre all talking over each other so you cant hear what theyre saying, except match, who grabs a megaphone and screams “SMOKY HOT FIERY BUNS”

when needle made a cake and put so much yeast in it that it breached earth’s atmosphere and astronomers apparently began classing earth as part of a three planet system (”consisting of the earth, the moon, and something called ‘needles cake’”)

“it’s ice cube! and she’s shrinking?” “she’s falling”

saying “(x character)! wake up!!” when it’s unclear (to the audience) why a character looks silly or apparently isnt responding

blocky’s sleeping pose is him with his eyes wide open, sporting a big goofy grin and hugging his legs

david’s sleeping pose is him with X eyes

one time the contest was to fill a tank with water from crying, and golf ball immediately ordered tennis ball to cry. he couldn’t do it on command, so golf ball tried, and cried her first ever tear, just... her first one

when the prize was fortune cookies, the fortunes were bracelety’s notes about how much she loves ice cube

“four, where’d you get these fortunes again?” “dumpster!”

“lightning always forgets to fly, so he had to be the fake”

when they were flying paper planes and stapy accidentally stapled his teammates into theirs, and he just hovered next to it while he was talking to them before they all started to plummet

the entire scene where liy tries to use ice cube to force teardrop to talk

“i’ll hold teardrops jaw open and you wiggle her vocal chords”

“i hate you” “yeah i hate her too!” “no. i hate you.”

“ice cube will only stop when she WANTS to stop!” “i want to stop”

“YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME! YOU SAID YOU WERE COOL!” “so r r y (starts wiggling)”

“ICE CUBE! I AM APPALLED!!!!!”

ice cube gets bitten and starts screaming while bracelety is yelling “YEAH ICE CUBE! I CANT HEAR YOU, LOUDER!!”

apparently everyone who hates golf ball gets physically sick when they get near her (or at least, ruby does and snowball did once he knew she was there)

blocky got eaten by a monster in episode two but it turned out the monster missed him by a bit so he was fine

taco’s teammates thought she was dead forever and wrote eulogies for her, and once they found out she was alive lollipop threw hers away, but saw kept hers because in her eyes they’re still valid!!

when things started to get dramatic in the s1 finale, and leafy called announcer on the phone and he was in a ball pit

loser’s trapped in a jawbreaker and the only thing with him is donut’s diary. the next time you see him he’s reading it furiously and it’s filled with color-coded sticky notes

pillow decided if you wave your arms it means all your “care spirit” is getting sucked out your arms and sent into space (”a true indicator that person doesn’t give a fluff”)

remote got hacked and her FIRST INSTINCT is to send the hackers a bomb

“if theres an announcer recovery center now, that means we can kill the announcer as much as we want and he’ll still come back to give us dream island!”

they ask black hole to push them in their swing and he says he can’t push, but he can pull like there’s no tomorrow

“no i can literally warp space time so that there will be no tomorrow” “yeah,h don’t do that.”

when they have a tiebreaker announcer pulls out a silk tie and goes “first team to break this tie wins”

the second time, almost before he finished speaking, snowball just reached over and ripped it in half effortlessly

“proves you don’t need frills to make a feast for the eyes!” “more like taco doesn’t need to be dead to be deceased in my eyes!!!”

they had a race where everyone on each team had their legs tied together (like a three-legged race, but with like six people on a team)

pen’s team was doing fine but he wasn’t, so they just dragged him along behind

snowball tied his team into a ball and dragged them himself, to predictable results, and wouldn’t stop until he got to the finish line even though it took him until after the sun went down

he failed, actually, and him and his team plummeted down a ravine when he passed out

“the opposite of dream island! night...nightmare moon!!”

donut stuck his arms through a one way camera to the moon (it transmits matter as well as light), and to fix the fact that his arms were on the moon and his body was on earth, he pushed the entire earth through the camera

the moon is smushed up against the earth now. it has not been resolved yet

“gelatin and firey tied their legs together and fell off” “ya, seems like the kind of thing they would do”

pencil got caught by a monster and couldnt get away, so they had to kill her so they could recover her somewhere else, and they let her pick how they did it, which lead to everyone just sawing her in half while she grinned ear to ear. she was singing too. iconic

but first, match, her best friend, started waggling a big butcher’s knife around at her going “hoohoo hoeheehee im killing pencil loookat me” and pencil said “match put your butterknife away, you have to ACTUALLY kill me”

and when they were sawing her in half bubble had the BIGGEST, most BLISSFUL grin, with her eyes half closed like a happy cat

bell asks for help making people stop climbing her string, and snowball assures her he can do it, but he’ll have to climb her string to get to them

then like twenty people followed him up

when writing utensil characters use themselves to write with

sometimes they have tiny versions of themselves (sans limbs), but sometimes they just like, pull their caps off and write with their heads

(the same scream noise they use every time a group of people screams) “HONESTLY! (grabs a new can of fork repellent from hammerspace) are you guys going to scream like that EVERY time i use up a can?”

dodecadangit

OH THANKS AN OCTADECILLION, MATCH

they were basically playing hot potato where if you look at someone who was glowing you’d catch the glow, and most teams ended up just chilling with their eyes closed, but golf ball yelled “EVERYONE GET ON MY ROCKET” and she and her team just left earth entirely

this did not stop them from catching the glow

someone’s like “the communicator dish still works” and book goes “oh,” dips a chip into the communicator dish and splashes dip everywhere, “THATS what this is?”

the, like, five minute long end-credits scene of ice cube falling off a cliff eternally

pencil tells ruby which button to press and she keeps getting it wrong, partly because NEW BUTTONS KEEP APPEARING

the poison antidote that has the side effect of making the recipient eat one other contestant

pencil coaching her teammates on how to jump higher

“MMR? I love measles, mumps, and rubella!”

“golf ball knows how to do, like, everything!” (cut to golf ball) “i don’t know how to do, like, anything”

basketball invited 8 ball to be on her team cuz they’re both balls, then 8 ball said “sure, and let’s adopt these three” in reference to three other ball characters

loser said when he was younger he used to play with a toy that was apparently only just invented an hour ago, and everyone, like 60 characters, immediately disowned him and started a turf war over the situation

“black hole, you’re strong! open this jar for me!”

(as the world is literally ending) “FLOWER! WHATAVE YOU DONE??” “i got this jar open!!!”

whenever a host dies or is otherwise put out of commission and the contestants just keep trucking along until they remember no one can get the prize if the host isn’t around to give it to them 

that time announcer used like ten negatives in a sentence 

the way announcer says “wow!” with more emotion than anything else he says? idk if it’s intentional, or even a joke, but it’s the best thing 

(slow mo) “i want to cry now, i really do”

“and i cry acid”

ruby died of sadness and book made it big by selling her remains 

when they say some line that’s just regular words in a slightly unique way, and then the line gets repeated throughout the series 

announcer accidentally-on-purpose got everyone killed, except david (who’s immune to bugs), and he had a david cloner, so he just went ahead and replaced everyone with davids in costumes

halfway through cake at stake, the original contestants show up unexpectedly and explain that they “faked their deaths! obviously.”

“ive decided to not cancel bfdi!” “aw, seriously?”

the noises david and dora make when they do things, like clattering, or sprouting leaves 

bubble and match pretending to be trees

“NO BUBBLE! TREES DONT SAY THAT!” “OH, RIGHT! FSSHHHHHH! FWWWSHH!!!!”

when nickel and coiny get close together bad things happen

“how’s the tree-climbing going?” “it’s okay, but it’d be easier if you helped. (swoop) okay, just got to the top” 

“yes! I am the first one up the tree!” “that’s NOT true, I was here FIRST” 

i guess we’ll just have to use this trebuchet tennis ball built before he died 

“wha! yhad this the HWOLE TIME, I DIDN EVEN HAVE TO CLIMB THE TREE?” “physical exertion builds character :)” 

when everyone’s begging four to bring back their dead teammates, especially saw, who lost her entire team, and four is like okay I’ll bring back one (1) person, and saw very reverently starts to ask him for her dead team leader, but grassy says “tennis ball!” and four listens to him instead, and everyone immediately starts nagging four again to bring back more important people 

leafy, about to melt ice cube down for metal scrap: “ice cube, come on down! you can be my alloy!”

they met a new character and they’re like “who is that?” and pie’s like “I dunno, try squishing it” 

“theres another one? whoa! it totally has a different texture from the first one!”

8 ball beginning every single statement with things like “although I don’t have a favorite number...” 

“I do this!” (grabs pin and turns her, screaming, into a squiggly pile of lines) “pretty cool, dontcha think?” 

“can,,,, you bring her back?” “no” (five seconds later) “HEY CHECK THIS OUT! (brings back pin)” 

pen high fived black hole and his arm spaghettified 

“what are you doing?” “im going to die!” “hi needle! he’s not going to die.”

iance was trying to dig their way up out of the ground but they couldnt because golf ball kept blocking them from the surface

“maybe theyre trying to communicate with me?” “yeah they’re telling you to stop”

“they raise a very convincing argument. BUT IT’S NOT ENOUGH!” “OH what a pain!!”

she accurately guessed the fact that there was a group of people underground running from some lava who “clearly value avoiding [golf ball] more than their own safety”

“ohhhh so THIS is golf balls idea of fun!” “(sigh)... yep”

they looked through a camera and couldn’t see donut (the zoom wasn’t adjusted) and marker went “donut’s a vampire too?” 

too???

“meh, I’ve still got other evidence”

one time the eliminated contestants got to vote who to eliminate and snowball was like “ice cube, cuz it’s really hot in the TLC and I can’t be the only one cooling it off” 

like four other people were like “oh man he’s right” and did the same thing

“wouldn’t it be cool if the last word of the last episode was the same as the first word of the first episode?” “yeah :)” 

“take. a deep breath. you know. A DEEP FRIED BREATH” 

at the end of the episode he shows up with some boiling oil and is like “LIKE THIS! ONE, (sizzling and screaming noises)” “COINY NO” 

leafy was about to throw a knife at them but watched this happen offscreen with horror and then left them alone

david’s human, and that’s just weird

“im still mad you killed bubble” “youre one to talk, you were about to impale TWO WHOLE teams” “yeah, but bubble’s life? is special”

pen’s like “okay we three need to stick together while we’re picking teams!” but then eraser hears some other team has free food, so he runs off and pen very flatly goes “okay, we lost eraser.”

“well let’s not pick pen, he’s still two hundred bigintillion dollars in debt” which is mostly hilarious without the first three seasons of context, but even with context it’s hilarious. he looks so shamefaced when they say it too. i love pen

once someone finally picks him he IMMEDIATELY perks up and takes charge

the hphprcc went into self destruct mode and everyone started frantically trying to figure out what to do, and book’s like “okay it’ll either just disappear without a trace, or blow up and kill us all, 50/50 chance” and then of course, it exploded, and ruby started screaming, and then book was like “ruby, stop hallucinating! see? it just disappeared, without a trace!”

“YOuuOURE HalLUCINAATING!!” “DON’T do that!! it is K-R-E-P!”

pin tried to knock everyone off the eiffel tower by shaking it and book was like “who does she think she’s kidding? it’s the eiffel tower we won’t fall off”

“name ONE! name ONE friend you haven’t gotten extremely angry at!” “thats not fair,! there isnt even any of them!”

8ball was saying the opposite of everything golf ball was saying, up to and including calling the members of their team, a better name that that, “worse namers”

“is this because i killed you last episode?” “what?? no, i dont care about that!”

“life is CHEAP! get me a BANANA!!!”

flower bit off half of announcer’s head and he couldn’t make the K sound anymore

“have this -ashew” “bless you”

“no i said -ashew. -ashew. -ashew. -ashew.” “wow you must be allergic to something”

“maybe announcer’s allergic to this cashew? here bubble, you can have it!”

pencil won the staring contest because david’s allergic to sunrises

freesmart was making video diaries during the three year hiatus, but apparently did absolutely no editing or even rewatching of the videos, because they found out three years too late that ruby left the lens cap on every time she used the camera

when four played the cake at stake song in the classroom he played it on a low-quality portable tv instead of cutting to a fullscreen video

“iknowafasterway!” “NORUBYYOULLDIE!”

pin said she didnt want to halve the votes she got because she hadnt done anything that would make people want to vote for her, and it immediately cut to a series of old scenes of her throwing people under the metaphorical bus

literally nothing is funnier than “i mean, i havent done anything to make people vote for me” (cut to flashback) “there’s too much weight on this sinking ship!!! we need to throw someone OVERBOARD!!!!”

one team got stuck doing their nine-piece puzzle for a MONTH because all the pieces were the same dark brown color

the pieces were upside down

a month

“the finish line! it’s only twenty or so yards away!”

two people talking and using the word “needy” twice and pausing to throw their hands up protectively and go “HNnnnynGH”

“why do i have filling, but also a hole?” - donuts diary

in 5b theyre talking to some npcs and theyre like “well dont hurt us, because we just got finished being punished in lego brick’s dungeon” and the npcs were like “oh yeah he does that. he’s a great guy, but he does that.”

also in 5b when book met lego brick the FIRST thing she asked is if he’s “safe to look at” which,???

they did a trivia contest and multiple questions were in complete gibberish

presumably this is an actual language in canon since like three other people answered correctly, also in gibberish, but still

“you’ve got this, bubble, you’re great at mental contests” “question one: ooba grooba, grooba shmooba?” “HUH?”

“but tennis ball -- oh... tennis ball....--”

team naming, especially in season four

“we’re not ALL in the alliance!” “well, if you take ‘the all’ out of the alliance, you get...”

“and what is your name?” (everyone says their own actual names at once)

ice cube is not on team ice cube

Death Prevention And Creating Trust

“let’s be called The Losers!” “awww! you didn’t have to”

wheel ooze a hole bunch. WOAH bunch!

“but then it sounds like youre saying free-DUMB!” “and we are so like totally not dumb!”

when the losers decided to use iance’s idea to win the swing contest and it was styled like an overenthusiastic science video 

“WHOA!!! iance just had a RADICAL idea!!!”

“TREASON! TREASON! TREASON!” “im in what?”

“seriously why are so many people drowning? it’s not even quicksand, or anything” - announcer, responding to five people drowning in a basket of bread

they were whispering with “susuusus” noises and cloudy whispered “zuzuzuzzuz”

the spaceship with the sign that says “this spaceship runs on big squishy contestants” or whatever and after the credits it slowly flips over to say “this spaceship runs on VOTERS”

“stop shooting at me!” “no way! i got these cannonballs on sale and IM GONNA GET MY MONEYS WORTH!!!”

eggy and cake’s argument over who has a deeper spiritual connection with loser

“my connection is so strong that when i crack, i bleed loser’s COLOR”

playing catch with a star they plucked out of the big dipper, and leafy’s horror over it

adding “ey” to people’s names (personal favorites are announcery, fourty-four, flowey, treey, and belly)

blueberries are EXPLOSIVE, including the ones inside pie, so sometimes she just explodes

“but over a year ago, four said you dont need frills to make a feast for the eyes, so that means hes okay with trash!”

the anti-advertisements advertisement!

four ate a whole team and they just sort of stood around inside him sticking their arms out his mouth and laughing hysterically

“again! again again again !!!!”

“we could be leaving!” “yeah, but when’s the last time you saw remote this happy? this is good for her!”

book, three episodes into season 3: hey, what is it we’re even battling for?

(iconic voice): dwream island,??

when they had a beauty contest and firey speaker box and flower speaker box just immediately chose firey and flower to be the winners without a second’s hesitation

“book! come help us catch a criminal!” “no thanks, im good!”

donut tried to punish people for getting the wrong answers when he was hosting, but it turns out a recording of four screeching doesn’t work... quite as well as the real deal

four zapping gelatin

ok ok ok this is insanely long but please add more if u have any favorites i missed

[newstfionline]

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Millions of Americans lose jobless benefits as Trump refuses to sign aid bill (Reuters) Millions of Americans saw their jobless benefits expire on Saturday after U.S. President Donald Trump refused to sign into law a $2.3 trillion pandemic aid and spending package, protesting that it did not do enough to help everyday people. Trump stunned Republicans and Democrats alike when he said this week he was unhappy with the massive bill, which provides $892 billion in badly needed coronavirus relief, including extending special unemployment benefits expiring on Dec. 26, and $1.4 trillion for normal government spending. Without Trump’s signature, about 14 million people could lose those extra benefits, according to Labor Department data. A partial government shutdown will begin on Tuesday unless Congress can agree a stop-gap government funding bill before then.

Downtown Nashville explosion knocks some communications offline (AP) A recreational vehicle parked in the deserted streets of downtown Nashville exploded early Christmas morning, causing widespread communications outages that took down police emergency systems and grounded holiday travel at the city’s airport. Police were responding to a report of shots fired Friday when they encountered the RV blaring a recorded warning that a bomb would detonate in 15 minutes, Metro Nashville Police Chief John Drake said. Police evacuated nearby buildings and called in the bomb squad. The RV exploded shortly afterward, Drake said. The blast sent black smoke and flames billowing from the heart of downtown Nashville’s tourist scene, an area packed with honky-tonks, restaurants and shops. Buildings shook and windows shattered streets away from the explosion near a building owned by AT&T that lies one block from the company’s office tower, a landmark in downtown. AT&T said the affected building is the central office of a telephone exchange, with network equipment in it. The blast interrupted service, but the company declined to say how widespread outages were.

Powerful mobile phone surveillance tool (The Intercept) UNTIL NOW, the Bartonville, Texas, company Hawk Analytics and its product CellHawk have largely escaped public scrutiny. CellHawk has been in wide use by law enforcement; the software is helping police departments, the FBI, and private investigators around the United States convert information collected by cellular providers into maps of people’s locations, movements, and relationships. Police records obtained by The Intercept reveal a troublingly powerful surveillance tool operated in obscurity, with scant oversight. CellHawk’s maker says it can process a year’s worth of cellphone records in 20 minutes, automating a process that used to require painstaking work by investigators, including hand-drawn paper plots. According to the company’s website, CellHawk uses GPS records in its “unique animation analysis tool,” which, according to company promotional materials, plots a target’s calls and locations over time. “Watch data come to life as it moves around town or the entire county,” the site states. The company has touted features that make CellHawk sound more like a tool for automated, continuous surveillance than for just processing the occasional spreadsheet from a cellular company. CellHawk’s website touts the ability to send email and text alerts “to surveillance teams” when a target moves, or enters or exits a particular “location or Geozone (e.g. your entire county border).”

In other white Christmas news, 74 pounds of cocaine found floating off the Florida Keys (Miami Herald) The Keys sheriff’s office came across some white stuff Christmas week. But it wasn’t the usual kind of snow. About 74 pounds of cocaine were spotted floating off the Lower Keys by a fisherman Wednesday afternoon. The packages were put in a Monroe County sheriff’s patrol boat and turned over to the U.S. Border Patrol. Lost shipments are trending in South Florida and the Keys. In August and September, almost 150 pounds of marijuana were found floating off the island chain or washed up on the shore. In July, more than 50 pounds of cocaine washed up near Grassy Key. Earlier that month, 29 bricks of cocaine came ashore in the Middle Keys city of Marathon, according to federal agents.

Brexit Deal Done, Britain Now Scrambles to See How It Will Work (NYT) For weary Brexit negotiators on both sides of the English Channel, a Christmas Eve trade agreement sealed 11 months of painstaking deliberations over Britain’s departure from the European Union, encompassing details as arcane as what species of fish could be caught by each side’s boats in British waters. But for many others—among them bankers, traders, truckers, architects and millions of migrants—Christmas was only the beginning, Day 1 of a high-stakes and unpredictable experiment in how to unstitch a tight web of commercial relations across Europe. The deal, far from closing the book on Britain’s tumultuous partnership with Europe, has opened a new one, beginning on its first pages with what analysts say will be the biggest overnight change in modern commercial relations. Britain’s services sector—encompassing not only London’s powerful financial industry, but also lawyers, architects, consultants and others—was largely left out of the 1,246-page deal, despite the sector accounting for 80 percent of British economic activity. Negotiators have not formally published the voluminous trade deal, though both sides have offered summaries, leaving analysts and ordinary citizens uncertain about some details even as lawmakers in Britain and Europe prepare to vote on it in a matter of days.

Virus besets Belarus prisons filled with president’s critics (AP) A wave of COVID-19 has engulfed prisons in Belarus that are packed with people in custody for demonstrating against the nation’s authoritarian president, and some of the protesters who contracted the coronavirus while incarcerated accuse authorities of neglecting or even encouraging infections. Activists who spoke to The Associated Press after their release described massively overcrowded cells without proper ventilation or basic amenities and a lack of medical treatment. Kastus Lisetsky, 35, a musician who received a 15-day sentence for attending a protest, said that before he entered prison, he and three bandmates were held in a Minsk jail and had to sleep on the floor of a cell intended for only two people. All four have contracted the virus. Lisetsky must return to prison to serve the remaining seven days of his sentence after he’s discharged from the hospital. He accused the government of allowing the virus to run wild among those jailed for political reasons. “The guards say openly that they do it deliberately on orders,” Lisetsky said. More than 30,000 people have been detained for taking part in protests against the August reelection of Belarusian President Alexander Lukashenko in a vote that opposition activists and some election workers say was rigged to give Lukashenko a sixth term.

Japan bans new entries of foreigners after virus variant arrives (Reuters) Japan on Saturday said it would temporarily ban non-resident foreign nationals from entering the country as it tightens its borders following the detection of a new, highly infectious variant of the coronavirus. The ban will take effect from Dec. 28 and will run through January, the government said in an emailed statement. Japanese citizens and foreign residents will be allowed to enter but must show proof of a negative coronavirus test 72 hours before departing for Japan and must quarantine for two weeks after arrival, the statement said.

As Virus Resurges in Africa, Doctors Fear the Worst Is Yet to Come (NYT) When the pandemic began, global public health officials raised grave concerns about the vulnerabilities of Africa. But its countries overall appeared to fare far better than those in Europe or the Americas, upending scientists’ expectations. Now, the coronavirus is on the rise again in swaths of the continent, posing a new, possibly deadlier threat. In South Africa, a crush of new cases that spread from Port Elizabeth is growing exponentially across the nation, with deaths mounting. Eight countries, including Nigeria, Uganda and Mali, recently recorded their highest daily case counts all year. “The second wave is here,” John N. Nkengasong, the head of the Africa Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, has declared. In South Africa, the continent’s leader by far in coronavirus cases and deaths, the growing devastation in its medical system has led to the rationing of care for older adults. Last week, officials announced that a new variant of the virus that may be associated with faster transmission has become dominant. With stricter control measures lifted and many people no longer seeing the virus as a threat, public health officials fear that Africa’s second wave could be far worse than its first.

Syria’s bread lines are so long that children have to skip school to wait in them (Washington Post) Every morning, Abu Mohammed and his two eldest sons wake up for dawn prayer in Damascus, then take turns heading to the bakery. They wait for at least three hours, barely making it to work or school on time, he said. Often, the boys miss their first few classes. Sometimes they miss the whole day. Abu Mohammed, who declined to give his full name for fear of harassment by the security services, is among a rapidly growing number of Syrians languishing in seemingly endless lines. The bread crisis is perhaps the most visible and painful manifestation of Syria’s economic meltdown. It has seen the amount of subsidized bread most families can buy reduced by half or even more. Subsidized prices have doubled since October. Outside major cities, the deprivation may be even worse. “The poor man living in the village no longer has gas; he has wood. He’s out of bread; he makes his own,” said a resident of the coastal city Tartous, interviewed over Facebook.

Our Digital Lives Drive a Brick-and-Mortar Boom in Data Centers (NYT) The shift to digital work and play from home, hastened by the pandemic, has wreaked havoc on commercial real estate. But experts say it has also generated one surprising bright spot for the industry: data centers. The growing reliance on cloud-based technology—and the big, blocky buildings that house its hardware—has created greater opportunities for developers and investors as businesses and consumers gobble up more data in a world that has become increasingly connected. “Our houses are connected, our cars are connected, our streetlights and parking meters are connected, and every single one of those connections is passing data back and forth,” said Sean O’Hara, president of the exchange-traded funds division at Pacer Financial, an investment advisory firm in Malvern, Pa. And companies that provide data storage are preparing for even greater demand as new technologies like 5G and artificial intelligence become more widely used.

The Secret to Longevity? 4-Minute Bursts of Intense Exercise May Help (NYT) If you increase your heart rate, will your life span follow? That possibility is at the heart of an ambitious new study of exercise and mortality. The study, one of the largest and longest-term experimental examinations to date of exercise and mortality, shows that older men and women who exercise in almost any fashion are relatively unlikely to die prematurely. But if some of that exercise is intense, the study also finds, the risk of early mortality declines even more, and the quality of people’s lives climbs. In essence, says Dorthe Stensvold, a researcher at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology who led the new study, intense training—which was part of the routines of both the interval and control groups—provided slightly better protection against premature death than moderate workouts alone.

[zen3to5]

J/H 6-18: Substitute

Of all the Pam Burkhart episodes, this was probably the most fun to rewrite. Jackie moving into the hotel is an idea I'm pretty happy with, and the rewrites here meant reducing Mitch's part, which was great (Pam isn't a great character, but she's largely innocuous; I can't stand Mitch in these episodes.)

We're assuming that episode order shifts around a little here; "Substitute" is now 6-18. We assume that 6-17, "Happy Jack," plays out as we know it.

FF.Net AO3

***

SHOW TITLE   INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY   A simple hotel room at the Point Place Hotel: bed, bath, a crappy black-and-white TV. But this basic layout has brightly colored pillows and glittery framed portraits to jazz it up. JACKIE goes around the room, adjusting her things on the bed and dresser.   DONNA enters, a box full of stuffed unicorns in her arms.   DONNA: Here you go: one box worth of unicorns. Which leaves three boxes worth still in my room.   JACKIE: Yeah, I don’t have space for everything here. But, this way, you won’t have to miss me. Every morning, when you wake up, those happy unicorn faces will be a little piece of Jackie to brighten up your day.   Donna laughs as she sets down the box.   DONNA: You know, Jackie, I am gonna miss you. Since you’ve started living with us, my dad’s finally had someone to watch The Love Boat with. Are you sure you won’t change your mind?   JACKIE: I’m sure, Donna. When my mom came back, I stayed with you and your dad because I couldn’t go back to living with her. If she’s still moving into your house, then I can’t be there.   Donna opens her arms, and Jackie steps in for a big hug.   DONNA: Okay, I’m gonna go. We’ll hold on to the rest of your stuff.   JACKIE: Just don’t lose any of it inside your giant shoes.   They both smile, and Donna exits.   She’s no sooner gone than HYDE enters, three keys in his hand. He presents them to Jackie.   HYDE: Okay, Jackie. Here’s your room key, the kitchen key if you ever need me, and the master key. Gets you in to all the closets, cabinets – basically all the towels, soaps, and booze you could want.   JACKIE: Guests aren’t supposed to have this.   HYDE: (shrugs) Neither are kitchen staff.   Jackie nods, “a-ha,” and puts the keys away.   HYDE: Hey, so, Forman’s taking the guys mini golfing. You wanna come?   JACKIE: No. I just want to lie down for a while.   HYDE: Okay.   He kisses her forehead.   HYDE (cont’d): I’ll check in on you when I come back for my shift. I’ll make dinner.   JACKIE: Hey, I hadn’t thought of that - with you working here, it’s like I have my own personal valet. Will you bring me breakfast in bed every morning for room service?   HYDE: No.   JACKIE: Will you bring me fresh towels and make the bed every day?   HYDE: No.   JACKIE: (beat) Will you be late to mini golf and help me “break in” the bed?   HYDE: Anything to make your stay more comfortable.   They both smile and step into a kiss. Jackie puts her arms around Hyde’s neck and pulls him down on top of her on the bed.

MAIN CREDITS   BUMPER   EXT. GOLFCOURSE – DAY   The Point Place mini golf course, with all the charmingly tacky landmarks you’d expect of a small-town setup like this. ERIC, FEZ, and KELSO watch as a YOUNG BOY putts his ball into the windmill and sinks it. The guys give a quiet golf clap. Once the boy runs off, Fez moves into position to take his shot.   Hyde walks up between Eric and Kelso. His walk is just a little awkward and bow-legged.   HYDE: Hey. Sorry I’m late.   ERIC: Oh, did moving Jackie into the hotel take more time than you thought?   HYDE: No, we were done with that a while ago.   ERIC: (shrugs) Man, she must really be upset at her mom. I mean, I don’t think Pam’s even moved in with Bob yet.   KELSO: She hasn’t. On my weekends home from the police academy, I’ve been staking out all your houses for surveillance practice. Pam’s still not camping at the Pinciotti’s. But she and Bob are really getting Bob’s money’s worth out of that hot tub.   FEZ: FORE!   He takes, not a gentle put, but a full-on swing.   ERIC: WHOA!   Fez’s ball goes sailing over the course and out towards the parking lot.   HYDE: Watch out!   ERIC: Parking lot!   Glass shatters. Fez, Eric, and Hyde all wince.   KELSO: Eh, it was just a Pinto.   Eric and Hyde round on Fez.   HYDE: Fez, this is putt-putt. Your choices are putt or putt.   Before Fez can respond, a short – very short – figure steps out from behind the nearby counter – MITCH, in the silliest of golf hats.   MITCH: Hey, what the hell? (sees Eric) Oh, Forman. I should’ve known it was you guys. Most people who come here can’t hit the ball that hard on account of they’re in kindergarten.   ERIC: Mitch. Congratulations. This seems like the perfect job for someone your size, what with the free lodging in the little castle at hole six.   MITCH: Yeah, there’s just enough room in there for me and your mom.   The guy all “ooh.”   KELSO: (to Eric) Yeah, the sweetest burns involve doing it with your mom.   MITCH: Look, just quit hitting the ball that hard, or you guys are out of here.   He pokes at Eric’s chest and goes back to the counter.   ERIC: God, I hate that guy. Tear him a new hole in one.   HYDE: Wow, Forman. Haven’t seen you this pissed since I chased you around your house with that spider in a jar. You were, like - (doing Eric) “Hyde, I swear to God!” (normal voice) But you never did anything.   ERIC: Yeah? Well, I’m about to do something.   He tees up for his shot and, like Fez, gives a full swing. His ball shoots up, ricochets off the windmill, and flies over to the counter, where Mitch is on the phone. The ball beans him in the head. Mitch drops the phone and drops like a rock. The guys drop their clubs and rush over.   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL HALL – DAY   Later in the afternoon. A row of doors. From one, ROY stumbles out, a woman’s kimono clutched in his hands. The door slams shut behind him.   Roy clutches at the kimono and stares blankly at the door. He doesn’t notice Jackie come up behind him until she taps him on the shoulder.   JACKIE: Hey, Roy.   ROY: Oh, hey, Jackie. How’re you liking the hotel?   JACKIE: Well, it’s nice to have a maid again. And she has a bigger moustache than my dad, just like our maid back home. (nods to kimono) Whatcha got there?   ROY: Oh, you know we’re having that Japanese cultural festival in the hotel this week? Yeah, there’s these dancers who put on a show. They wear these kimonos.   JACKIE: Oh, was that one lost?   ROY: No, I was in their room when they came in, so I hid in the closet. They threw me out.   He looks down at his feet, unable to meet Jackie’s raised, condescending brows.   An extremely hairy man in a flowered sundress and a hand fan comes up the hall, behind Jackie and Roy. They are slow to turn and notice him, but when they do, Jackie’s eyes bulge out and she takes a step back. Roy takes the sight in stride.   ROY (cont’d): Oh, hey, Frank.   FRANK snaps his fan shut and shakes it at Roy.   FRANK: I’ve told you – when I’m here in my gown, you call me Lady Laguna!   JACKIE: (scoffs) You call that a gown?   Frank’s glare snaps her way. Jackie inches toward Roy, who holds the kimono out between them and Frank like a shield.   JACKIE (cont’d): Whatever the lady says.   Frank gives her a brusque nod. He proceeds down the hall, his head turned to watch Jackie and Roy the entire time.   BUMPER   MUSIC NOTE: “Stuck in the Middle with You” by Stealers Wheel.   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   For once, the basement is empty. Magazines, comics, and a Millennium Falcon-shaped carrying case full of action figures cover the coffee table. Not that the basement stays empty: Kelso opens the door and leads in Hyde and Eric, supporting Mitch between them. Fez brings up the rear. Mitch has a large bandage covering his forehead.   The guys see Mitch over to the couch, where they set him down in the center seat. Eric sits to his right as Hyde crosses to his chair, Fez sits in the lawn chair, and Kelso sits on Mitch’s left.   ERIC: Mitch, I am so sorry. The doctor said it was only a mild concussion, so...   MITCH: What? I’ve lost the ability to process language, on account of I have a concussion! (sighs) Forman, why are we always fighting? I can’t even remember how we got this way.   KELSO: I’ve had chicks say that to me.   FEZ: No. That was me.   Kelso and Fez share an awkward look.   MITCH: (to Eric) Don’t you think that we should be friends? I mean, we’re pretty much the same guy. We’re into all the same stuff – Spider-Man, Batman, Famous Monsters of Filmland... (sees Star Wars toys) And Star Wars! Look at this!   He picks up the Darth Vader figure from the case.   MITCH (cont’d): I can’t believe you got a hold of the Darth Vader with the green lightsaber! Pew! Pew! Pew!   He starts swinging the doll around as he makes the noise. Eric shakes his head and takes the doll from him.   ERIC: What? No, no. It’s –   He proceeds to make more accurate, and more nerdy, lightsaber sound effects.   ERIC: (to Hyde) What a geek.   FEZ: (to Kelso) They look happy. Why don’t we have a game?   KELSO: Man, you are always on about that these days. “Why don’t we have a song? Why don’t we have a movie?”   FEZ: If you gave me an answer, maybe I wouldn’t always be on about it.   KELSO: Look, can we not do this when we have company over? We’ll talk about it later.   FEZ: Oh, sure. Later, later, always later, but later never comes!   They both snap their heads away from each other. Eric, Mitch, and Hyde take a moment to stare at them before going back to their business.   MITCH: Come on, Eric. Let’s hang out.   ERIC:   Okay, well... you’re obviously having some kind of reaction to your medications. Why don’t you just give your dad a call, get a ride home.   He indicates the phone. Mitch looks down, puts a finger to his bandage, and pokes at it repeatedly.   MITCH:  (on each poke) Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.   Eric heaves a deep sigh, rolls his eyes, and hands Darth Vader back to Mitch.   ERIC:  You can be Darth Vader. Just don’t wreck the lightsaber.   MITCH: Really? Thanks!   He starts swinging Darth Vader around again, with inaccurate sound effects.   HYDE: Uh, Forman?   Hyde stands, takes Eric by the arm, and pulls him to the deep freeze.   HYDE (cont’d): (hushed) Man, what the hell are you thinking? We’ve already got a weak, squeaky nerd-boy hanging around here – you. And Mitch doesn’t have any of your better qualities, like a house I can live in. I mean, look at him.   He points over to Mitch, who is pointing to Kelso. More specifically, he’s leaning into Kelso, his finger hovering just barely away from Kelso’s temple.   KELSO: What are you doing?   MITCH: I’m not touching you.   KELSO: Stop it.   MITCH: But I’m not touching you.   KELSO: Stop not touching me!   MITCH: Okay.   He gives Kelso a sharp poke to the temple.   MITCH (cont’d): (laughs) Wasn’t it better when I wasn’t touching you?   KELSO: (laughs) Yeah.   Mitch puts his finger back up, and Kelso does the same to him. Eric looks back to Hyde.   ERIC:  Look, Mitch knows I’m just being nice, okay? This can’t last more than a few days, tops. And, I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?   The basement door opens, and Donna enters.   MITCH: (to Donna) Oh, wow! You are gorgeous! You’re the hottest redhead since Batgirl! And you’re not just gorgeous – I mean, you radiate intelligence and deep thought. A real sense of self.   DONNA: Eric, I like your new friend.   She smiles at a beaming Mitch as Eric and Hyde share a look.   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL – NIGHT   The hotel ballroom. It is filled with booths, stands, tables, and small stages, all for the Japanese cultural festival, which has drawn a healthy nighttime crowd. At a makeshift Japanese steakhouse grill, the chef performs for the gathered crowd, slicing and preparing fish with an elaborate display of cutting and knife throwing.   Jackie sits at the bar watching. She is wearing a dark floral kimono, with her hair in a French twist style held with chopsticks. Hyde, in his chef’s jacket, comes up behind her.   HYDE: Oh, I could get used to this look.   Jackie turns around, stands.   JACKIE: Oh, there you are.   She kisses him.   HYDE: How’s it going?   JACKIE: Well, I was yelled at by Lady Laguna, the concierge keeps inviting me to the “private suite” under his desk, and Roy’s offered me a charming look at what Fez will be like in 20 years.   HYDE: Now, Jackie, that’s not fair. Fez has actually had a girlfriend.   Jackie considers that, shrugs.   HYDE (cont’d): Look, man, if this isn’t working out, then maybe you can move back with –   JACKIE: No, no – I’m fine. (sighs) Can we just go back to my room and have some dinner?   HYDE: Sure. Hope you don’t mind salad and burgers. Roy didn’t shut the freezer all the way when he went in there to cry, so the ground beef’s about the only thing left that’s not a 50/50 risk of salmonella.   They hold hands and start to head for the exit when they bump into another couple – RED and KITTY. And BOB is with them too.   JACKIE: Oh! Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Forman. Hi, Mr. Pinciotti.   KITTY: Well, hello, Jackie.   BOB: Hi there, Jackie. Isn’t this festival great? (points to grill) I love this one. It’s not just dinner. It’s a thrill ride, ‘cause there’s a small chance you’re getting knifed.   RED: I don’t know, Bob. I’ve tried to avoid Asians with weapons ever since 7,000 of them tried to kill me.   KITTY: (laughs) Well, it’s thanks to the work of brave men like you that America’s enemies are now performing at a tiny local festival in a two-star hotel.   JACKIE: What are you all doing here?   BOB: Pammy thought it’d make a good double date.   JACKIE: Wait, my mom’s here?   BOB: Yep. She’s just freshening up.   JACKIE: (to Hyde) My room, Steven. Now.   She lets Hyde lead her by the hand around the adults. Bob starts after them.   BOB: Come on, Jackie. Give your mom a chance. I think she really wanted to come here so she could see you.   Jackie pulls Hyde to a stop, rounds on Bob.   JACKIE: Well, I don’t want to see her, so you can stop trying to help her get to me.   BOB: I just don’t like seeing you two not get along. And your mom’s been such a peach since we got together. I wanna help you two out.   JACKIE: Well, she doesn’t deserve it! Steven, is there another way out of here? A back door or a secret bookcase passage?   HYDE: Okay, someone’s had a relapse on Nancy Drew.   Nevertheless, he takes her away from the main entrance to a small door in the far corner.   JACKIE: God, I can’t believe Bob! Why can’t he just accept that I don’t want to see my...   Hyde opens the door to:   INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT   A small hallway connecting just two doors, a staff passageway. Inside, Jackie and Hyde find two people making out – PAM and a Japanese man dressed for the grill.   JACKIE: MOM?   Pam breaks away from her partner, breathless.   PAM: Oh, Jackie, there you are. Meet Hirohito.   HIROHITO smiles and waves. Jackie, eyes wide, rounds on Hyde.   JACKIE: What is it with this hotel and cheating?   Hyde shifts on his feet as Jackie turns back to her mom, gaping.   FADE TO BLACK   COMMMERCIAL   BUMPER   INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT   Right where we left off. As Hyde and Hirohito stand uncomfortably by, Jackie advances on Pam.   JACKIE: Mom, what are you doing? You’re supposed to be here with Bob.   PAM: Oh, you ran into Bob. Isn’t he just a doll, bringing me here? Who would’ve thought a man with such bad dress sense could be so sweet?   JACKIE: Yeah, Bob is sweet. And you’re cheating on him! With some cook at a crappy hotel!   She can feel Hyde’s eyes on the back of her neck. She steps back to him and puts a hand on his chest.   JACKIE (cont’d): Which can be a good thing, if you’ve got the right combination of looks and brains to make up for it, and if you’re not with someone else.   PAM: Oh, honey, don’t be silly. Hirohito’s only here for the festival. His day job is as a Lincoln dealer.   HIROHITO: 34th and Donegal.   JACKIE: (gasps) Lincolns? Could you get a deal on a pink – no, no! (to Pam) Mom, how can you do this to Bob? He really likes you, and he’s done nothing but stick up for you since you came back to town.   PAM: Oh, Bob will be fine.   JACKIE: No, he won’t! Bob’s had a horrible time with break-ups before, but he’s never had anyone cheat on him. How can you do this when you’re moving in together?   PAM: Well... Jackie, the truth is, when you wouldn’t speak to me after I came back, when Bob asked me out, it seemed like the only way I could see you. And when he asked me to move in, I thought it was a way you and I could be together. But now that you’ve moved out... did I mention Hirohito has a summer home back east?   HIROHITO: Cape Cod.   JACKIE: (to Pam) So you just used Bob to try and get to me? Mom, you can’t just throw your looks at some guy and use him to get whatever you want. I’ve learned the world doesn’t work like that.   PAM: Oh, I knew I shouldn’t have sent you to public school.   JACKIE: Just think, Mom. What if it had worked? You and me would be back home, or living with this Hirohito guy, but what happens when someone else comes along who’s richer? Or what happens when you get another chance to run off to Mexico, or Paris, or Milan?   HIROHITO: Kyoto is lovely this time of year, too.   Everyone turns to glare at him.   HIROHITO (cont’d): But, carry on.   JACKIE: (to Pam) Mom, all this does is show me that you’re still running from one place to another, looking for something better instead of just being happy with what you have. That’s why you left after Daddy went to prison, and it’s why I haven’t wanted to see you. And why I still don’t.   She passes Pam and Hirohito and runs out the other end of the hallway. Pam shifts on her feet, Hirohito scratches at the back of his neck.   Hyde takes a step toward them.   HYDE: (to Hirohito) Hey, if the Lincoln thing doesn’t work out, this crappy hotel does actually need a cook for weekend shifts. Just one thing – (points to Pam) No dogs allowed in the kitchen.   He passes them and follows after Jackie.   BUMPER   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY – DAY   The next morning. The Toyota rests in the driveway, the hood popped. Eric holds a flashlight for Red as he works on the engine. Kitty is in the Toyota, behind the wheel.   RED: (to Eric) I just think it’s pretty suspicious that after we left the Japanese festival, our Japanese car broke down.   Eric’s chance to throw some snark at that xenophobia is cut short when Mitch strolls up the driveway.   MITCH: (to Eric) Hey, buddy.   Kitty steps out of the car to take a look at Eric’s new friend. Mitch makes a show of reacting to her.   MITCH (cont’d): Whoa, Eric, you didn’t tell me you had an older sister.   ERIC: Oh, please. If you’re gonna go with fake charm, let’s keep it in the realm of reality, okay?   KITTY: Oh, you shut your porky mouth. I have the skin of a 25-year old. Who smokes.   Mitch turns to Red, polishing a nut.   MITCH: You know, Mr. Forman, I learned a little about cars from my uncle who used to fix tanks in Vietnam. Now that’s hero’s work, fixing machines that kill people you don’t agree with. My only regret is that I haven’t yet had a chance to fight for my country.   RED: Really? Eric’s only regret is that he doesn’t live in space.   ERIC: That’s not my only regret. It’s just one of them.   He goes back to holding the flashlight, only now, it’s for Mitch.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   A truncated gathering. Kelso leans on the deep freeze, nursing a popsicle, Donna sits in Hyde’s chair, Eric on the back of one end of the couch, Mitch in the seat on the other end, and Fez in the lawn chair. “My Best Friend’s Girl” by the Cars plays on the radio.   Fez, Kelso, and especially Eric wear long faces as Donna humors Mitch’s nerdy babble.   MITCH: So I’m at this garage sale, and I look down, and there they were – Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan, all in mint condition! It was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. (to Donna) At least until I met you.   Donna giggles, runs a hand through her hair. Eric climbs down from the back of the couch and stands over Mitch.   ERIC: Okay, Mitch. Don’t you have something you need to do?   MITCH: You know, you’re right. I almost forgot. I said I’d make omelets for everyone! (points to Kelso) Onions... (points to Fez) Peppers... (points to Donna) And only the most succulent of honey-glazed ham for a honey-red honey.   ERIC: Okay, “honey-red?” That’s not even a thing!   Donna giggles, nudges Eric with her foot.   DONNA: That sounds great, Mitch.   Kelso and Fez nod their approval. Mitch nods back, heads up the stairs.   Eric sits down in the couch seat closest to Donna.   ERIC: Donna, why do you keep encouraging Mitch?   DONNA: Eric, it’s no big deal.   ERIC: Yes, it is. Look, he already likes everything I like, he’s buttering up my parents, now he’s making moves on you... it’s like Invasion of the Body Snatchers if the pod people were all leprechauns.   Kelso crosses to the other end of the couch, near Fez, and sits down.   FEZ: Okay, Kelso. I have a game we can have. Truth or Dare?   KELSO: (rolls eyes) All right, fine. Truth.   FEZ: Have you ever snuck into Donna’s bathroom when she was showering?   Eric and Donna look over at Kelso. He shifts in his seat.   KELSO: (to Fez) I mean, dare.   FEZ: Oh, come on, out with the truth! I know you’ve snuck in there. I was there, and I saw you!   Donna and Eric, and Kelso, look to him, as Mitch comes down the stairs with two plates in hand.   FEZ: I mean, dare, yes. Dare.   MITCH: Oh, are you guys playing Truth or Dare? I’m in.   He passes the plates in his hands to Kelso and Donna, then takes a seat in the hoppity hop.   MITCH (cont’d): Okay, Mitch – truth or dare? Um, I pick dare, Mitch. Okay, Mitch. I dare you to kiss Donna. (gasps) Mitch! Naughty Mitch.   DONNA: (laughing) Mitch, you goofball, that’s not how it works. It’d have to be, like, “I dare you to kiss me.”   MITCH: (shrugs) Okay.   He leaps from the hoppity hop onto Donna with a massive kiss.   ERIC: What the hell?   KELSO: (laughs) He did it!   FEZ: Look at him go! He’s like a hummingbird!   Donna pushes Mitch off her, helped by Eric pulling him off.   ERIC: Mitch, I can’t believe you! You just flew at her like one of the little monkeys from The Wizard of Oz!   DONNA:  Eric, relax. He was just fooling around. He didn’t mean anything by it.   MITCH: Yeah, Eric. What’s a little fooling around among friends? (to Donna) Wait, what was that second thing you said?   ERIC: (to Mitch) We’re not friends, man! We never were! I only let you hang out here because I felt bad for you, but guess what? I don’t like you! And neither does anyone else!   MITCH: (beat) Fine. I won’t bother you guys anymore.   Head bowed, he makes his way to the basement door. He exits, then immediately sticks his head back in.   MITCH (cont’d): Somebody needs to check Fez’s omelet in about three minutes!   He exits again.   Eric sighs, sits back down. The others all eye him carefully; they don’t often see that kind of outburst from him.   KELSO: Well, that was brutal.   DONNA: Yeah. Nice going, Eric.   ERIC: What? Donna, he just mauled you like a miniature French cat.   DONNA: Yeah, well... he worshipped me, okay? I always thought Jackie was ridiculous for falling for stuff like that, but I swear, I thought Mitch was gonna light a fire and dance around me!   KELSO: Yeah, I feel bad for the little guy. I just wanna put him up on my shoulders and buy him a balloon. (to Fez) So, Fez – what if I dared you to kiss Donna?   Fez sits up, intrigued. Donna rolls her eyes.   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL – DAY   Day 2 of the Japanese cultural festival. A thinner crowd in the daytime. Jackie walks the floor in her regular clothes. She finds Roy doing the same thing, clipboard in hand.   JACKIE: Hi, Roy. So, any more luck with the Japanese dancers?   ROY: I think so. One of them came to see me in the kitchen this morning. She was screaming, “give me back my kimono,” but...   He trails off, shrugs. Jackie gives him an indulgent nod and continues on her way.   She passes by the Japanese steakhouse set-up, where Hirohito is working the grill. Pam and Bob are at the bar. Before they can see her, Jackie ducks behind a nearby dragon figure flanking another booth. But she is still within range to hear.   PAM: I’m sorry, Bob.   BOB: Hey, when things got tough between Midge and me, we did all sorts of crazy things to stay close to Donna. Although talking it over while the guy you were seeing behind my back makes our food – that’s a new one.   HIROHITO: And still, you tipped. Thank you.   He gives Bob a slight bow, and Bob gives a wave back. Pam smiles, rubs Bob’s back.   PAM: You know, Bob, you aren’t the smoothest or the classiest guy I’ve ever dated, but you are the sweetest. (sighs) You know, for the first time in my life, I feel like I need to do some work on myself. Not on the outside, obviously, because – well, come on. But on the inside. (takes Bob’s hand) And I could use some help.   BOB: Sure.   He leans in, kisses her cheek.   BOB (cont’d): You wanna try seeing Jackie again?   PAM: (beat) No. No, I think she needs her space. And she needs to see that I’ve made some changes. She deserves to see that. And I’d better start making them.   BOB: Okay.   They stand, link arms, and start to walk away.   PAM: Now, for change number one – how attached are you to those zebra rings?   That conversation continues as they exit the ballroom.   Jackie steps out from behind the dragon and looks after them. She cups a hand over her mouth as the other goes over her heart.   Hyde, in his chef’s jacket, comes up behind her.   HYDE: Hey.   She turns around to him, her eyes slightly wet.   HYDE (cont’d): Everything okay?   JACKIE: Yeah, yeah.   She hugs him around the waist. He hugs her back.   JACKIE (cont’d): Um, Steven? Do you have your master key on you?   HYDE: No...   JACKIE: Well, I’ve got mine, so where’s the nearest closet?   Hyde smiles at her. He takes her hand and leads her toward the corner door.   BUMPER   EXT. GOLFCOURSE – NIGHT   Mini golf, after hours. Mitch, alone, oils the windmill. Eric slowly comes up behind him.   ERIC: Hey, Mitch. Look, I – I wanted to apologize.   MITCH: That’s okay. I guess I was out of line too. I shouldn’t have jumped on your girlfriend. In front of you. It’s just – you have such a great life. And if I never see you or your friends ever again, I’m always gonna treasure that time that I spent with Donna.   ERIC: Okay, well... then I’ll just say goodbye.   Eric turns to leave. He makes it about three steps before Mitch heaves a heavy sigh, stopping Eric in his tracks.   MITCH: So lonely...   Eric wrestles with the air, screws up his face – and caves.   ERIC: Hey, Mitch, uh... you know, if you ever wanna hang out, you know, you’re always... you know.   In a flash, Mitch is at his side.   MITCH: Great, thanks!   ERIC: Oh, are we gonna do this now?   MITCH: Yeah, buddy, let’s do it!   ERIC: (beat) Okay.   MITCH: All right. Hey, so – do you think I might have a shot with Donna?   ERIC: Mitch, she’s my fiancée.   MITCH: So that’s a maybe!   He walks off, hands in the air. Eric drags his own hands down his face as he considers what he’s locked himself into for the foreseeable future.   FADE TO BLACK   CREDITS   INT. HOTEL – NIGHT   The ballroom, the festival still under way. Roy approaches the corner door and opens it. He finds Jackie and Hyde in the midst of a furious make-out session. They stop and freeze when Roy sees them.   ROY: Are you allowed to do that in here?   JACKIE: (beat) Are you allowed to ransom a dancer’s kimono for a date?   Roy considers that for a moment. He studies Jackie’s face carefully; she’s ready to play hard ball on this.   ROY: I was never here.   Jackie and Hyde nod. They go back to making out, Roy shuts the door, and continues on his way.   END.

[mrmallardsmobileposts]

How I Think The Star Wars Sequels Should Have Happened: Another MrMallard Nerd Moment

(MAJOR SPOILERS)

The Force Awakens:

fine jumping on point. Not perfect, but honestly a return to form in regards to making Star Wars movies fun again. Keep TFA as-is, warts and all - the trick is paying this movie off by the end.

The Last Jedi:

Less faux-Guardians of the Galaxy humor. That's not to say "no humor", I honestly thought Luke Skywalker had the best jokes of the movie, but less "your mother" and less "Finn wakes up from a coma and drips IV fluid everywhere, Wakka Wakka!". The former is corny, the latter is undignified and actively cheapens character development from the prior movie.

Cut the stampeding race-beasts, because it reeks of Disney's "fuck you we're Disney" money, but keep Canto Bight as a whole. The alien designs are charming - it's a nice moment of fanservice, along with the Jizz music. It also serves as a nice character-building exercise for Rose and Finn.

Ultimately, I think it might have been a better idea to kill off Leia in this movie considering Carrie Fisher's passing. I don't dislike her in this movie, and I honestly enjoyed the scene of her in space - my first thought was "holy fuck she can use the force!!" - but I think it would have been better for her to pass on in this movie, both logistically and for her character. That, or they should have scaled back her cobbled together Frankenstein-performance of CGI, cut lines and recontextualised footage in TRoS. Either/or.

Keep the mutiny plot with Poe, but something has to be done with how they treat the secret plan. The resolution to the mutiny plot was the thing that bothered me the most with TLJ, but it's pretty much the only thing for Poe to do in the movie and it adds conflict to the main story I guess. Making the Holdo/Poe seem a little less personal might help? idk. honestly a lot of this storyline felt forced.

Don't try and resolve Rey's backstory in this movie. Keep it as a running mystery. I understand that they were trying to go for a clever subversion in this movie, but it just added another stupid thing that TRoS bad to address and it honestly kinda ruins the trilogy.

Honestly, either cut Crait entirely and make it the beginning of the next movie - bc the movie's already two hours long and it feels like the final battle stretches the movie out beyond its natural ending point - or shorten it a bit and make it a bit more functional. It looks cool, but at that point it's like tacking an extra mile onto a marathon.

Also, don't shoehorn a failed heroic sacrifice with Finn imo. That, or give him more screentime and character development to build up to that moment. Post-TFA, he's really half-baked, and I honestly think he should have been more of a focal character next to Rey. The heroic sacrifice felt like it came out of nowhere, and by thwarting it and adding the Rose Tico scene, it felt like a waste of time even having it in there. It comes and goes with no fanfare.

Honestly, I would have preferred if Luke stayed alive at the end of the movie. I think his death was a movie too soon. Saying that, I think they nailed his death in this movie - if they were gonna kill him off, I think they did it right. Also, don't kill off Snoke. It's a cool scene, but it fucks up the next movie.

Re: Rose Tico - she's not my favorite part of the movie, but I don't actively hate her and I think the response to her character that Kelly Marie Tran had to face was absolutely disgusting. I think her plotline with Finn was a little underbaked, and that scene at the end where she prevents his heroic sacrifice just kinda sidelines them both. I think making her a navigator would have helped her character in TLJ and TRoS.

In short: trim a few excessive CGI scenes, cut a few cornball jokes out, play around with the characterisation and tone of the mutiny plot, dignify Finn's character instead of reducing him to a rehashed coward, comedic relief character and pointless failed Rebel martyr, and maybe keep Luke Skywalker alive at the end. Bring the movie in at around 2 hours max.

Keep Luke Skywalker as-is, bc his character is a highlight of TLJ.

The Rise of Skywalker:

Kill off Luke Skywalker in this movie. Seriously, just cut and paste his death at the end of TLJ into this movie. Work him into a reduced role when Rey junks her ship, like the force projection messed him up and he doesn't have much longer to live, and have him help her when she returns to his island planet instead of adding a phoned-in Force Ghost appearance. Maybe have her there when he passes?

Reduce Leia's role in this movie instead of stitching together a Frankenstein's Monster of a performance. Not to be morbid by that reference - it's just that everything she says feels so stilted and wrong, like you can definitely tell they've thrown all the scraps they have left into her character in this movie. It doesn't feel natural or respectful for her character to spit out non-sequiters for the characters to respond to in an equally unnatural sort of way.

Honestly? Canonise Fey/Rinn, however you want to portmanteau Rey and Finn's ship name. If you give Finn more of a character arc in TLJ instead of side-lining him, and establish that he and Rey are particularly close - which they are IMO - and then pay off that "I have something to tell you" beat with a confession of love. This isn't a stab against Reylo, though I've certainly had words to say about Reylo, I just think Finn/Rey is a more wholesome ship and I prefer this dynamic to the fuckin dark side/light side paradigm of Reylo. I Just don't care for it. Kylo Ren's conflicted nature doesn't have to resolve in romance. Gimme Rey/Finn.

Snoke gets offed by Palpatine. There's no breeding vat for Snokes, but if the movie wants to suggest that he's still just a puppet or a creation, that's fine. That, or build Snoke up as the bad guy, and either follow through on that or have Palpatine be a twist halfway through the movie.

Maybe make Palpatine a Sith Ghost? They do exist to some degree. Or have him stuck in some other limbo that requires him to hijack Rey. Anything is better than that "if I do this you do this, but then I'll do this so you would have to do this, but really I'm going to do this so either way my entire plan was completely unnecessary lmao" clusterfuck where he's a living corpse impaled on a robot arm.

Cut out the macguffins, or make them feel less inconsequential. Okay, so the dagger storyline involves rebooting C3PO. It has stakes and gravitas to a degree. Cool - keep that. What the fuck is up with the wayfinders though? Why are there only two? Why do they need to be so convoluted?

Maybe have Maz Kanata talk about Luke's lightsaber, and/or have her involved in finding a way to Palpatine. It would pay off her appearance in TFA and explain her importance to Luke.

By making Rose Tico a great navigator in TLJ, her role on the team can be expanded in TRoS and she can do like star charts and stuff for all the different worlds they're going to - she can come along instead of being fucked over by JJ Abrams in this movie. She can even help with Maz Kanata's wayfinding plan. In short - make her a part of the team.

Honestly, fuck the Knights of Ren right off. They're a waste of time. That, or set them up in TLJ - hell, have one of them on Canto Bight and another one on Snoke's ship. Maybe even retcon Phasma into being a Knight of Ren. Anything but bringing them back as a mook squad in this movie, with no weight or character.

Honestly? Show Palpatine surviving the Death Star crash. The retcon is all the more painful for being completely and utterly unexplained. Doesn't matter if you have to touch the source material to do it, CG in a force shield as Palpatine falls through fire and have him hobble to a life support pod that takes him to where he is in TRoS. Literally anything is better than "Somehow, Palpatine returned".

Either cut the healing powers, or leave them in sans Reylo kiss.

In short: reduce Leia's role instead of using cut content and a CGI puppet to stitch together a performance, leave Luke alive until this movie, kill Snoke in this movie OR have him be the big bad, make Finn/Rey a thing over Reylo - again, no hate, I just prefer this pairing over Reylo - write more details about Palpatine's survival, either put some Knights of Ren into TLJ or don't have them at all, get rid of the Wayfinder macguffins and/or work Maz Kanata and "master navigator" Rose Tico into a plot to find Palpatine.

At the end of the day, there should have been a planning committee for the Star Wars story, not for the merchandise. You can see from how the sequel trilogy crammed out merchandise that Disney was clearly asking for marketable merch, but the story is a trainwreck - there was a Star Wars committee, just not where the property needed one.

The sequel trilogy was a worthwhile experiment imo - it didn't pay off, but it was worth doing just to see if it was possible. But even then, I would prefer three decent movies over a couple of experimental trainwrecks retroactively ruining one decent movie.

This post was mostly trying to work with what the movies already have, though by TRoS you really do have to start overhauling shit to make it work. In my eyes, the longest that these movies should run is two hours - any more than that is a slog, especially when the movie feels like it takes two hours. The Last Jedi felt like two and a half hours. The Rise of Skywalker felt like a two hour movie crammed into 80 minutes, despite the fact it was longer than 2 hours. The best way to make these movies more watchable is to make them shorter - cut out superfluous money shot scenes like the Canto Bight chase, have more efficient scenes to balance out the stylish scenes. The sequel trilogy is short on efficiency imo, and without a movie where it feels like progress is being made, the style doesn't work.

So tweak some things to make each movie more efficient.

[apple-grass-and-smiles]

Shiny Toy With a Price

Once again I have committed the fandom version of a hit-and-run by delivering a single story based on a Taylor Swift song and then fleeing the scene of the crime. This one is based on/around Cruel Summer and there are a few little hints buried throughout the story that reference it. I hope you enjoy.

Summary: That summer was particularly hot and cruel and it hadn't rained since May. (Or Bruce wants to label his relationship with Selina and she is adamantly against such an idea.)

If asked to describe the summer of Year Zero, Selina would immediately respond that it was the hottest summer of her life. Whether or not this was actually the case is up for debate, but it certainly felt like the hottest summer. And a lot of Gothamites agreed. It hadn’t rained since May and by the time July rolled around, any plant that hadn’t been tended to religiously was dead and people were desperately praying for any amount of rain. The streets were full of people in as few items of clothing as they could be, water with ice in it was treated like pure gold, and people would huddle in groups to be in front of one of the few working air conditioners.

What only a handful of people knew, and one of the secrets you couldn’t pay Selina to spill, was that Bruce and Alfred’s small apartment was one of the only places with a working, refrigerated air conditioning system. Bruce has claimed the apartment early enough after the bridges blew and Alfred has booby trapped it enough that no one was ever able to really vandalize the small 3-bed, 2-bath apartment. That apartment, with it’s pink wallpaper that Alfred and Selina had painted a deep blue in the early morning one of the first days she was able to walk and the doors that squeaked no matter how much oil she and Bruce poured on the hinges, quickly became her refuge during the Hottest Summer Ever.

The apartment was about four blocks away from the GCPD and a five-minute walk if you used the roofs (seven minutes if you used the regular streets). It wasn’t unusual for Bruce to get up before the sun and head to the police station, at which point Selina, who had usually camped out on the small fire escape outside his window, would sneak in and take her turn getting a couple of hours of sleep. It was a weird set-up, which seemed fitting considering how Selina had no idea how this year would be remembered once the bridges were back and Bruce lived in a mansion that wasn’t full of board games with mismatched pieces and her clothes and the truly disgusting alcohol that Alfred had gotten from Lucius that one time. But then again, things had always been weird for them and there was nothing to indicate anything would change any time soon.

Looking back on it now, years after the incident and years after Bruce left and years after she became Catwoman and a socialite and years before Bruce will return dressed as a bat, Selina doesn’t know if she regrets the night they stole Alfred’s vodka or if she just wishes it has happened sooner so that maybe they could have figured everything out before he jumped on a plane headed to somewhere Selina wasn’t.

Rule one of nights that Alfred was out was that Selina must always supply snacks. The rule had started when they were much younger and Selina had taught him how to get snacks out of a vending machine without paying. He had, of course, refused to try this more than once because it was all about the “research” and would be “irresponsible to steal something as small as a pack of potato chips”. Selina had found the sentiment to be one of the most ridiculous ones he had ever shared and then promptly determined that she would always have some stolen vending machine snacks on her when she saw him. That had quickly stopped meaning that she brought the food back to her squat where he’d be waiting and started to mean that she snuck Twinkies and gummy worms and flat soda into his mansion where the small offerings seems stupid and inconsequential in comparison to Alfred’s expertly-made quiches and chocolates from Germany and steakss that cost more than Selina wanted to think about. But the bridges blowing had changed things and once again she was able to offer a valuable commodity and she certainly loved that more than shyly passing Bruce a half-eaten oatmeal creme pie when he could have bought the factory that made it with his pocket change.

So, it was for that reason that Selina snuck through the window that July evening with her arms full of treats with enough processed sugar to kill a man. She had found a vending machine a few blocks away that was mostly full since it has been vandalized past the point of being recognized as a vending machine many years earlier. Bruce, who looked like he hadn’t even considered sleeping for at least a month, greeted her with an exceptionally jubilant smile.

“We figured it out!” he exclaimed as he helped her unload the snacks on the small table.

“The water?”

“Yeah! We just altered one of the old water purifiers and then added on... “ he paused, looking at her with a slightly resigned face. “We made a new water purifier from some old ones and some other tech.”

“Thanks for the dumbed down version. Do you want Twizzlers or Red Vines?” Selina asked holding up one packet in each hand. Bruce paused for a moment, considering, before grabbing the Twizzlers. Selina smiled to herself; Bruce hated Twizzlers and must have known the ones he had just taken would be as hard as a rock, but he also knew that Red Vines were her favorite. Even if that wasn’t the thought process that had gone into his candy selection, she was going to assume that it was. She was in a city full of criminals, cut off from the rest of the world and would probably die of heat stroke if the weather didn’t let up soon; she should be allowed to entertain some slightly romantic ideas.

“So,” she said as she plopped down on the couch with Red Vines in one hand and her arms and legs slung over every inch of the piece of furniture. “What now? You wanna lose another game of Monopoly?”

Bruce shot her a glare from the kitchen before he came and settled on the coffee table next to the couch. “I would have won if you hadn’t cheated and you know it.” (Selina rolled her eyes at that.) “But I actually have something much better.”

“Do tell…”

“Yahtzee.”

If Selina’s eyebrows could have risen any higher they would have touched her hair line. “Yahtzee?”

“Yahtzee. Plus some gambling.”

“Okay… Explain.”

Bruce laid out the rules. The game would play normally, but they would have to place bets on what they would roll. Each round they would bet something small and as the game went on, what they bet would have to increase in value.

By the time they had finished the first game (Selina won), the pair had discovered some issues with the rules of the game as they stood. Namely, they ran out of things to bet very, very quickly and it had reached the point where Bruce was betting Alfred’s things and Selina was trying to bet random items she found in Bruce’s room (she had bet a very pricey watch his father had bought him for his tenth birthday and her heart had nearly stopped thinking about the price what she likely saw as simply a shiny toy) and it had simply devolved into a very low-stakes game once it became clear none of the items would actually change hands at the end of the night.

Bruce, always one to try and fix any problem presented to him, searched around the apartment to find any way to spice up this game that was rapidly becoming boring when Selina threw a couch pillow at him.

“I’ve got it. You remember that vodka Lucius gave Alfred a couple months ago? The stuff they found in that raid?” Bruce nodded slowly, not entirely certain where Selina was going with this train of thought but pretty certain he would be regretting going along with it in the morning. “We play the game the same way, but, instead of betting objects, we bet how many shots we take.”

“That seems like a great way to get alcohol poisoning.”

“C’mon! It won’t kill us and we can come up with some excuse about, I don’t know, someone stealing it if Alfred ever notices that it’s gone. It’ll be fun.” Selina, who at this point was standing on the couch to talk to Bruce from his vantage point in the kitchen, did her best to give him a sweet face. Instead of a response, Bruce simply grabbed the vodka and rolled his eyes as the setting sun behind him gave him a faintly angelic halo. One day, Bruce figured, Selina would realize she wouldn’t ever have to try and convince him to join her in things. One day she’d figure out that he followed her not because he thought her ideas were good or because he was curious or because he had no other choice. Hopefully, one day she’d realize that he was ready to follow her off of a cliff not to figure out what was at the bottom of siad cliff, but because she was the one to walk off of it.

Another hour passed and as the sun finally set a cool breeze began to blow through the apartment. It was with all the windows open in the apartment and the faint sounds of music coming from the apartment’s kitchen that Selina screamed ‘yahtzee’ and emerged from the game victorious once again. Both teens laughed as Bruce finished the bottle in resignation. Neither of them were strangers to alcohol, but this was the first time they had actually been drunk at the same time. Normally they simply had angry confrontations where one was sober and the other was not, but this situation, with both more than a little high on each other’s company, the sinking temperatures, and the relief of having survived another day, was infinitely preferable to their other drunken encounters. Bruce swept the dice into the mostly destroyed box they had found them in as Selina laid back on the couch, playing with one of the die she had snagged at the end of the game.

Once the game was put away, Bruce came to sit down, lifting Selina’s legs and settling down on the couch before lowering them onto his lap. The two sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before Bruce broke the silence.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

Confused what would spark such a random question, Selina looked at him quizzically. “Uh. Yeah. Why?”

“I was just thinking that I really don’t know where you sleep and we have an extra room here and it just seems ridiculous that you’d be wandering around Gotham where you can get hurt when you could be here and with us and safe and I just don’t know why you’d risk everything just to avoid staying here-”

“You think I’m avoiding staying here? Why would you think that?” Selina was sitting up on the couch now, curling her legs under her to look Bruce in the face.

Bruce played with his hands and stared out the window, “I just figured you wanted to keep us a secret, like you did when we were younger. You didn’t like labeling things and I figured you stayed away and didn’t live with us because you were scared of being labeled.”

“Okay,” Selina held up her hands. “What exactly do you think we are? Because I thought we were just friends hanging out and friends don’t live with friends when they’re stuck on an island full of criminals and separated from the rest of humanity.”

“Really? You think we’re just friends? Then what on Earth was up with you kissing me in Haven or sleeping in my bed when I leave in the morning or coming over for a date whenever Alfred is out? Do you kiss all your friends? What are the rules here, Selina? Because you may not need to know them but I do.”

“Why do there need to be rules and labels? Can’t we just be us? We’ve never needed rules before.” Selina tries not to shout but this conversation was tired and pointless the first time they had it all those years ago and it hasn’t gotten any better in the intervening time. He knows that labels freak her out and he knows that setting rules freak her out and he knows all of this because they’ve been over it so many times that she feels like she could have this argument in her sleep.

“Are you kidding me?” Bruce stands up and drags his hands over his face. “I’ve always needed the rules and the labels! And I can’t figure out why you don’t want them. Are you ashamed of me? Am I your dirty little secret?”

Selina is up in an instant, glaring up at Bruce. “That is insane and you know it! Everyone knows we’re connected. I’m not trying to keep that a secret.”

“Then why can’t I call you my girlfriend?” Bruce’s voice is raised at this point and it’s becoming painfully clear to both parties that this has escalated from their usual labels conversation to a drunken argument.

“Why does it matter that you call me that? It’s not going to change anything!”

“It’ll change everything! I’m tired of keeping you a secret!”

“From who? Who are you keeping me a secret from?  Because I’m pretty sure everyone knows that we’re-”

“We’re WHAT? When Jim asks me about you, do I say you’re just my friend? My girlfriend? An alley cat that spends more time in my apartment than Alfred does? I feel like I’m carrying us around as a secret everywhere and I can’t keep doing that. If we’re going anywhere with this, I need a label. I’m not going to keep you if it means keeping you as a secret.”

“Oh my… Bruce what does that even mean?”

Bruce’s hands are in his hair as he stares up at the ceiling in frustration. “It means that this is the ultimatum.”

Selina snorts before biting her lip and replying, “An ultimatum. Really? That’s where we’re at? I came over to hang out with you and now you’re giving me an ultimatum?”

“Yeah because every day I’m dying over trying to figure out what I mean to you and I can’t keep doing it. If I’m just your boyfriend then I’m happy to do that and if I’m just your friend then I’ll be honored to fill that role, but I cannot keep living in a realm where some days you’ll kiss me and other days you just want to be friends and then the other days where you’ll ignore me. I just need to know.”

For a moment, everything is silent except for the sound of the crickets outside and the quiet ticking of the clock. Selina shakes her head ever so slightly and stares at the ground as she whispers, “I could be bleeding and you’d be the last to know.”

“What?”

Slightly louder now as the tears begin to well in Selina’s eyes: “I could be bleeding and you’d be the last to know.”

“That’s ridiculous. What do you mean? We’re together constantly and of course I would know if you were bleeding and-”

“No,” there’s a small flame in Selina’s eyes now. “No, you wouldn’t because you don’t know that every day I’m bleeding and lying and saying I’m fine when really I'm dying and trying to figure out how I feel and waiting for you to cut me to the bone.”

“Then why don’t you tell me? Selina, I just want you to tell me these things so that I can-”

“HAVE A LABEL? Bruce, you want a label so badly and I don’t have one! We’re both feel like we’re always trying to make it work but we’re never making any progress and me sneaking in here every day is just sealing our fates so now we’re tied together and you want to know how I feel and I can’t tell you -”

“WHY? Why can’t you tell me? What could possibly be so bad that you can’t tell me?”

“What’s so bad? Bruce, don’t you get it? I LOVE YOU AND IT’S THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!”

Silence falls over the apartment again as Bruce sinks down onto the coffee table.

And then he looks up at her, meeting her eyes with his, and grins the most devilish grin she has ever seen and, for the first time since May, it starts to rain outside.

[canadiankazz]

The Sixth Time - An L.A. by Night Fanfic

Seeing as how his sanctum is currently off-limits, Annabelle invites Jasper over to her place. He gets a little bold during feeding again and they talk about the Blood Bond.

L.A. By Night Alternative Universe where Jasper has been feeding from Annabelle for several weeks/months and they have developed a Blood Bond. SPOILERS for the end of Campaign 1 including the one-shots. This was written before Season 2, Episode 4.

It’s worth reading the rest of the series before this part.

The Entire ‘Feeds From’ Master List Can be Found Here

I lay no claim to owning any of the characters involved. 

As always, special thanks to @cravatfiend for the support, feedback and encouragement during the writing of the drafts. Special love to @gokaiyellow for their additional input and for being as patient as they can, and to @fluffy-wookiees  because it was our conversation about Blood Bonds that inspired the main chunk of this fic. Thank you to everyone else who has enjoyed this series so far. 

Also posted to the author’s Ao3.

First published Feb. 11, 2019.

The Sixth Time Jasper Fed From Annabelle

Jasper was trying to read in bed, but he was having difficulty concentrating. He could hear his newest prisoner from the Ivory Tower ranting and raving from all the way across his sanctum. In the month previous, Baron Abrams had secretly managed to acquire Nelli's sire, Chaz Price. Chaz had then been placed in Jasper's possession for safekeeping until the Barons and the Prince and whoever else in charge of Kindred politics in California worked out their political arguments.

Chaz was currently calling Jasper every insult under the sun and moon, but Jasper was doing his best to ignore it. This had been going on more or less since he had woken Chaz up from his staked Torpor in his cage. He had heard it all before, from Tara, and from others. It was better to let Chaz get it all out of his system now. Jasper didn't know how long he was to keep him here. It had already been weeks. It could be months, it could be years. Jasper hoped it wouldn’t be decades.

Jasper put down his book, which was about famous ghosts from around Hollywood, and sighed. It wasn't Chaz's insults that were distracting him, not really. It was an odd feeling of loneliness. Before Chaz, his sanctum had been relatively quiet, save for the times when Annabelle had come over. Jasper reached down off the side of the bed furthest from the door and found the small plastic tea light candle he had hidden down there, out of sight behind one of the bed legs. He brought it up and flicked the little switch on the bottom to turn on the fake flame. It flickered dimly. The button battery that powered it was slowly dying.

He missed her, he realised. On a night like this, he might have called her to come over and hang out. They might have watched a movie. She might let him feed off her. He licked his fangs at the memories he had of biting into her flesh, of tasting her powerful Brujah Vitae, and of the sounds she made as the endorphins brought on by the Kiss clouded her brain and made her body react in rather interesting ways.

His phone buzzed with a text message. He looked at the screen. It was Annabelle, texting him privately, away from the group coterie chat. He smiled. She had been thinking of him too. Was it her emotions he was feeling, mixed with his own? Their Blood Bond had faded somewhat since their last encounter many weeks ago, but if Jasper concentrated, he could feel where Annabelle was in the city, and was sure that if she were in any great danger or emotional state, he would know about it.

“I had a dream about you yesterday,” Annabelle's message read.

Jasper dreamed about her all the time, but he hadn't ever told her about it. He wasn't surprised she had been dreaming about him too.

“What happened in it?” He inquired.

“You were feeding from me.”

Jasper smirked. He could envision Annabelle blushing while she was typing that.

“Where?” he asked, both meaning where on her body, and also a location for them both to be in. He had only ever fed from her in his sanctum, but with Chaz here under his secret lock and key, Annabelle wasn't allowed back in.

“Everywhere,” was Annabelle's reply. Jasper chuckled.

“Did you have a favourite place?” he asked. He wasn't usually this much of a texter, but he didn't want Chaz to hear him making any calls.

“Neck.” Again, Jasper could picture Annabelle blushing.

“Mine too,” he replied truthfully. He sighed a little to himself. His hunger was under control at the moment, thanks to the elder Toreador still cursing him out in his cage, but feeding from his prisoner and feeding from Annabelle were two totally different things. Annabelle wanted him to bite her. She enjoyed it almost as much as he did. Sometimes, he thought she enjoyed it more than him, especially when she used Blush of Life while he bit her. He hesitated a very long moment, before texting her again. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

He blinked at her reply, not sure how to respond.

Annabelle didn't send him another message for a long time. He briefly thought that she might be done for the night, but he was wrong.

“Elle is going out of town this weekend to visit her parents,” Annabelle told him. “And Mark is still away.”

He waited without replying. Annabelle was typing another message, erasing it, and re-wording it. He knew what she was going to ask him, and was about to pre-emptively inquire about it when her message finally got through.

“Would you like to come over on Saturday?”

He did. He very much wanted to spend the weekend with her, at her place. They hadn't seen a lot of each other in a long time. He had also never been inside her house, and had to admit he was curious.

Still, there was something inside him that made him hesitate in his reply. It wasn't Chaz. Chaz could sit a few days on his own, and Jasper would make sure he fed him before he left.

No, it was something else, something more intimate. Jasper knew that if he did go, the weekend was likely to turn into another feeding date, and likely an extended one at that. He doubted either of them would be able to help themselves, strong though their willpower was. If Annabelle did let him bite her again, their Blood Bond would redevelop and strengthen. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it still made him a little nervous. There was ever growing tension between the Anarchs and the Camarilla these nights, and if, somehow, the Camarilla worked out that Jasper was holding Chaz captive, they could use Annabelle to get to him. He had already promised himself that any Kindred who hurt Annabelle would not last the night if Jasper were able to get to them. He also knew that Annabelle could definitely handle herself in a fight. But she was also still a Neonite, having been Kindred for less than a year, and the Camarilla was home to many very powerful vampires who could take her apart quite easily if they wanted to.

Jasper's phone buzzed again. Annabelle had sent him a single question mark, waiting for his reply.

It was dangerous, and he knew he shouldn’t, but damn it... he wanted to. He had already admitted that he missed her. It was already too late to deny his growing feelings, beyond just the bond with her blood.

“Yes, I would,” he texted her. “What time?”

He could picture her smiling, her pretty face lit up both with the light from her phone, and the joy and anticipation she got from his reply.

“11:00 Sat.” she replied.

“See you then,” Jasper promised.

Annabelle sent him a smiley face. He didn't return it, but he smiled physically.

**

Saturday night came and Jasper arrived completely unseen to Annabelle's door. He had taken every precaution he could think of to secure his haven and the prisoner inside it. He wanted to enjoy this weekend without having to worry, though it would always be on the back of his mind. He found that he wasn't as nervous about visiting Annabelle at her home as he thought he might be. His Beast was getting excited though. He could feel it in his chest and throat. He growled at it, closing his eyes and counting to ten. He hadn't lost control with Annabelle on one of their dates yet, and he wasn't about to.

He knocked, letting himself become visible as he interacted with the door. He pulled his hood down lower over his face, just in case someone from another house was watching. He didn't have long to wait. Annabelle flung the door open and greeted him happily.

“Jasper, hey!”

He smiled at her. “Hi.”

“Come in.” She beckoned him into the warm interior of the home and he stepped over the threshold. She closed the door behind them. He instantly found himself glancing around, taking in the space.

Annabelle led him through to a tiny living room. There was one bookshelf full of books, one full of DVDs and Blu-Rays and another full of CD's. Jasper found himself drawn to them. He tilted his head to read the covers and cases.

Annabelle watched him with a little amused smile. “How have you been?”

“Oh you know... “ he shrugged. “Same as ever.”

She gave him a flat look. “Don't be mysterious with me, Jasper.”

He gave her a little half smile. “I've been pretty good.”

“Yeah? Me too.”

There was something unsaid between them. It was easier, sometimes, to say things like “I've missed you” over text rather than out loud.

Jasper sat on a sofa. It was second hand, inexpensive student furniture, but he felt at home with that. In fact, a lot of Annabelle's place reminded him of his own, except she had a lot more stuff. Photos of Annabelle, Mark and Elleanore together, knick-knacks, Anime figures, even the odd stuffed animal were everywhere. The room was neat and cluttered at the same time. There was a framed Les Miserables poster on the wall that made him smile. There was also a lot of vampire media, mostly shoved into one corner. Books and DVDs and Blu-Rays about Dracula, Underworld, Anne Rice, and more. He shook his head a little when he saw that.

“How's your new... guest?” Annabelle asked.

“A pain in the ass,” Jasper said. “I was glad you invited me over.”

“You know... I still don't approve of all that,” she said with a frown.

“Yeah... I know, but when you change the world, I won't keep anyone in a cage ever again.”

Annabelle's jaw tightened a little and she searched his face for any sign he was making fun of her. She couldn’t see any. “Right. Well...” she sighed. “Would you like to finish watching Hellsing?”

They had left off part way through the second to last episode. Jasper grinned. “Yes, please.”

They sat next to each other on the sofa as they watched the OVA on Annabelle's small flat screen TV. Gradually, so gradually neither of them were aware of it, they got closer and closer to each other. Soon, they were touching hands, then a hand was on a knee. By the end of it, they were leaning against each other and neither of them minded. The epic religious choir music that played over the final end credits made Jasper smile. Annabelle noticed.

“What's that look for?” she asked him

“This music is awesome.”

“It is pretty cool,” she agreed. “This is your thing?”

“Oh yeah. It reminds me of O, Fortuna.”

Annabelle giggled. “You're such a dramatic goth.”

Jasper snorted and shrugged. “Well...”

“Don't you deny it!”

“I wasn't going to!” he said defensibly, but with a smile.

A quiet settled between them. Annabelle bit her lip and touched his hand. “Would you like a tour?”

“Sure,” Jasper said.

Annabelle got up and showed Jasper around. It didn't take long in the small house. Living room, kitchen, bath, laundry, bedrooms. The room Annabelle slept in felt so very much like her that Jasper couldn’t help but smile. Anime, band posters and little love notes from her partners decorated the walls. There were some clothes stacked on a chair by a desk covered in textbooks and old protest fliers. Her window had a large, thick blanket covering it, duck-taped securely to the wall with multiple layers. Jasper eyed this critically. Annabelle followed his gaze.

“Oh, that's very secure, don't worry,” she assured him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I mean, it hasn't fallen down yet. Just don't pull on it too hard.”

Jasper scowled, not reassured. He didn't feel like he should have to tell Annabelle how dangerous something like that could be.

“Jasper, it's okay,” Annabelle said again. “The blind is down on the other side. The blanket's just for extra security. Besides... I'm still here, aren't I?”

He licked his fangs, thinking this over. Annabelle swallowed.

“Okay,” he relented reluctantly.

“Um... besides, look at this!” Annabelle stepped towards her bed, which was quite a lot wider than Jasper's. “Look at how big my bed is,” she teased, waving her hands like a girl on The Price is Right. “It can fit two, sometimes three people in it!”

Jasper snickered. “Very impressive,” he admitted.

Annabelle sat on the bed, playfully bouncing a few times. Her smile was infectious. “I almost can't believe you're here,” she told him. “I almost can't picture you in a home like this.”

He shrugged and sat on the bed next to her. “Well... I was, sort of. A long time ago.” He sighed and looked around again, remembering.

Annabelle's smile faded. She hadn't meant to dig up sad, old memories of the life he had to leave behind, but she didn't. “Jasper, I'm sorry.”

His brow furrowed a little and he looked at her, his thoughts snapped out of whatever he had been remembering. “Why?”

“I feel sometimes like... maybe I'm a little insensitive to that fact that... I still kind of have my old life, a bit, and you don't. And I'm sorry. I don't mean to be insensitive.”

“It's okay,” he said quietly. “I know you don't mean to, but sometimes it is a little like... you know... check your privilege.” He smirked a little.

She smirked a little too.

He wanted to change the subject and, feeling bold, took her hand in his. “So... what else did you have planned for this weekend?” Jasper turned her hand over palm-up and ran a faint line over her wrist with his cold, pale thumb. He had bitten her there before and he was deliberately trying to remind her of that. It worked. He felt her shiver, just a tiny bit, and she swallowed again.

“Um... well...” her voice cracked. She cleared her throat. “I did think that we could... feed, if you wanted to.”

“I've missed someone giving me permission,” he admitted to her. “It makes me feel a little less horrible, sometimes.”

“Oh, Jasper...” Annabelle bit her lower lip, her heat breaking a little. “I don't think you're horrible.”

“I am a little though.” He knew there was no denying that, but he wasn't particularly sad about it. It was a fact.

“Well... not here, you're not,” Annabelle insisted. “Here, you have permission.”

He showed his fangs when he smiled. “Thank you.” He stroked her wrist again. He couldn’t feel her pulse, not yet, but he imagined it might be getting a little faster if it could.

“It's been a while,” Jasper said after a moment of silence. “Where would you... like me to begin?”

Again, Annabelle smiled like she would have turned scarlet. “Wherever you want,” she said quietly. He voice was a little breathy. Already, her body was reminding her of the experience to come. The bite – the Kiss – was a taboo pleasure that she couldn’t achieve with her boyfriend and girlfriend, although she had tried. Of course, sex with them was good. It always had been. But this... whatever she and Jasper had was something different, something more... well, the only thing Annabelle could think to describe it was vampiric. It felt wrong but oh, so very good at the same time.

For Jasper, it was the most intimate he had allowed himself to be with someone in five years. He did not count his other feedings from Kindred as being anything like this. With them, it had been a necessary thing, or so he told himself. Though he enjoyed the taste of terror and he enjoyed toying with Camarilla assholes, being with Annabelle and being willingly offered her blood was something he found himself enjoying far more.

“Neck?” Jasper asked.

Annabelle's free hand went to the collar of her T-shirt, which was much higher than that of the tank tops she had worn previously when he had bitten her throat. “I'll get blood on my shirt,” she mumbled.

“If you don't want blood on your shirt, take it off,” Jasper told her, surprising himself with the bold words. He was mildly surprised again when she did what he requested. He thought she might have said no, but she didn't. The shirt hit the bedroom floor. She wasn't wearing the lacy bra he had seen before, but he liked the way this one went with her skin tone. He found himself staring and looked away. He heard Annabelle chuckle.

“It's okay,” she said. She sounded nervous, but excited. “Are you okay?”

He looked at her again and swallowed. Was this not everything he wanted? He had repressed that side of him long ago due to the Nosferatu curse, but Annabelle was bringing it out in him again. She didn't care that he was a Nosferatu. She was happy to be with him. Jasper nodded. “It's just been a while,” he mumbled.

She scooted away, back onto the bed and gave him an inviting look. “It'll come back to you.”

He followed her up the bed and lay next to her. The extra space was nice, but he didn’t want to admit it out loud.

“You know...” he said, with a pause to touch his tongue to his fangs, “If someone had told me four or five years ago that this is where I would end up one day, I would have thought someone was playing a cruel joke on me.”

Annabelle smiled at him. “Lucky you then, I guess.”

Jasper chuckled. “Yeah.” He hesitantly reached out to touch her shoulder, trailing his fingers up to her neck and Annabelle leaned into his touch. This made him feel bolder. It reminded him that he was wanted. His hand lingered over her pulse point and he blinked in amazement when he felt her activate Blush of Life. Like magic, her skin warmed and he could feel the quick but steady pulse in her neck. Annabelle sighed and fidgeted a little. His hand was deathly cold.

Jasper thought he should say something, but nothing was imminently coming to mind. He shifted, leaning over her a little. His fangs itched and his Beast growled. Her warm, inviting skin and the delicious Vitae under it were temptingly close. When he did open his mouth to speak, his voice was a snarl.

“May I?”

Annabelle shivered at the growl. Her skin erupted into goosebumps. Already, she was turned on. Her body remembered the pleasure he had brought her in the past. “Yes,” Annabelle breathed.

Slowly, as if to drag out every moment, Jasper slid his long, sharp fangs into her flesh. Again, he had gone for the spot where her neck met her shoulder. Annabelle let out a gasp and a whimper at the pain of it. Her body tensed and she found herself gripping a pillow. She could feel Jasper's tongue on her skin. He shifted again a little and she felt him place a hand on her opposite shoulder to the one he was biting and slowly trail it downwards over her body right as the ecstasy hit her.

Annabelle let out a long, soft moan of arousal as the pleasure slowly crawled across her body. Jasper's hand trailed down over her bra, over her breast, and settled on her ribs. He could taste the lust in her blood. He only wanted to take a little bit at the moment, just a sample. They had all weekend, after all. Annabelle trembled and squirmed beneath him. Her grip on the pillow tightened. She was biting back another moan or cry of pleasure. His Beast was almost purring inside him, listening to her heavy breathing and tasting her desire. It wanted more, it always wanted more, but Jasper had to hold back.

Annabelle sighed as he lifted his fangs away from her. She hadn't quite reached the climax her body had been heading towards, but she was shaking with the anticipation of it. She was about to say something, but she felt Jasper's cold tongue dip south of her collarbone and lick up a warm drop of Vitae that had begun to run slowly downwards. His hand found hers that had been clutching the pillow and, without saying anything, he brought it down to her crotch. She was wearing jeans, and she was aware of how restrictive they were currently feeling. Jasper pressed Annabelle's hand to the oh-so-sensitive area that was begging to be touched between her legs and give her neck wound another little suck.

Annabelle's body bucked with that blessed, cursed release she had been seeking. He kept her hand pressed to her jeans and his mouth on her neck to catch any more drips and to keep her climax going as long as it could. He could feel her fingers moving involuntarily against herself, trapped under his own. The scream Annabelle had been fighting back escaped through her clenched teeth.

Jasper tenderly licked her wound closed and drew back from her a little bit, including pulling his hand away from hers. Annabelle's body curled into a slight foetal position as she trembled in the aftershocks. He could her her cursing to herself under her breath. Jasper stroked her arm, smiling to himself. That had been a spur of the moment idea, but he liked the results.

Annabelle's face was bright red when she looked at him. He tried and failed to look innocent.

“What?” he asked.

Annabelle clenched her jaw, but smiled at him. “You... that...”

“Yes?”

She playfully punched his chest. He fell back onto the bed in mock pain. “Ow.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled. She snuggled up to him and he put an arm around her near naked torso.

“I still don't know what that was for,” he chided.

“Yeah, you do.” Her pulse was still slightly fast. Her hips squirmed a little.

“How are you feeling?” He knew the answer, but wanted her to say it.

“Good,” Annabelle sighed in contentment. “You have a way of making me feel so good...”

He stroked her shoulder in little circles. His white fingers contrasted dramatically with her skin tone. “Not too hungry?”

“I'm alright.”

“Good.”

“That... thing you were talking about a while ago...” Annabelle said, “where you feel my emotions... that's still a thing, right?”

“Yeah, that's still a thing,” he said softly, still stroking her shoulder. He could feel them now, the bond newly refreshed after having faded somewhat the past several weeks.

“What am I feeling now?”

“Happy,” Jasper smirked. “And you're still a little surprised at yourself because you never thought that this would happen.” He gestured to the two of them, snuggling on Annabelle's bed. “I feel the same way.”

He heard Annabelle exhale as she smiled. Her body was so warm against his. Part of him loved it. Another part of him was reminded how repulsive his body must be in comparison to hers. He tried to ignore that.

“Is there a name for that... feeling emotions thing?” Annabelle asked.

“I think it's a Blood Bond.” Jasper replied.

“Oh... that sounds kind of nice.”

“Mmm... but it isn't always.”

She tilted her face to give him a curious look.

Jasper considered for a few seconds how to explain it. “You know about ghouls?”

She frowned but nodded. “Yeah...”

“What are they?” He knew, but was testing her.

“They're people who have drunk vampire blood and become slaves. It sounds awful,” Annabelle said.

“It can be, but it can be useful for the vampire, especially if they have few morals about ordering people around and removing their free will. So... if that's what happens when a human drinks vampire blood, what do you think happens if another Kindred does it, beyond the feeling emotions thing?”

“Do... they become a slave as well?” Annabelle asked, mild horror creeping into her voice and in her expression.

“That can happen,” Jasper said gently, honestly. He sighed. “You giving your blood to me... gives you power over me, potentially, especially because we've done it so often, and because we've almost always done it right from the source, as it were.”

“So... I could give you an order right now... and you'd have to obey it?” Annabelle looked slightly terrified.

Jasper nodded.

“Oh, my God...” Annabelle said slowly. She hugged him a little tighter. “I would never, ever do that to you.”

“I know,” he said softly.

“Ever,” Annabelle insisted. The idea of taking away his free will chilled her.

“I know,” he repeated. “I trust you, Annabelle. You're one of the very few Kindred whom I trust, because I know that you'd never make me do anything against my will...” He sighed again. “Unlike some others I could mention,” he growled to himself.

“What? When? Who?”

“Do you recall me doing anything that seemed a little wild and out of character several months ago? Maybe something a little wacky in front of a big crowd?” Jasper sounded annoyed at the memory.

Annabelle gasped as it hit her. “The Succubus Club?”

Jasper growled and nodded.

“The dancing?”

“That was Victoria Ashe,” he said, his voice several degrees rougher in anger. “She made me do that.”

“But... you looked...”

“Like I was enjoying it? Yeah, because at the time, I was. I was lucky that she didn't order me to do something really horrific. If she had told me to try to kill you, I probably would have.”

Annabelle tensed in anger. “That... woman!” She had her own growl now. “And Nelli was all buddy-buddy with her!”

“Toreadors are like that. They have a certain way of making people love them, and want to do what they ask. It's like when Victor orders people to forget things, and they do. It's how they operate. Don't be mad at Nelli... or do, I don't care.”

“I'm sorry I laughed at you, and applauded,” Annabelle said, remembering her reactions to seeing him moonwalk on that dance floor.

“It's okay.”

“Is that a Blood Bond? Did she...” Annabelle didn't want to finish the question.

“No,” Jasper assured her, and he sounded grateful. “No, she didn't give me her blood.” He stroked her arm and her side, trying to soothe her a little. He could tell she was getting riled up, that her inner rebel wanting to put the boot into the rich elite was emerging. There was a time and a place for that, which was not here and now.

“I'd stake her so hard if I could,” Annabelle mumbled into Jasper's lean chest. He smiled.

“You do that, Annabelle. If you ever see her again, you do that.”

“Damn right, I will.”

They were quiet for a few moments, with Jasper gently stroking her smooth skin. She was still warm. It could last a long while, if she wanted it to. “You know... going back to the Blood Bond thing...” Jasper said quietly. “The way you and I have been doing it, letting me bite you... it would be very frowned upon by most Kindred society.” He grinned. “We've been very naughty, you and I.”

Annabelle snorted. She didn't have a very high opinion of what most Kindred society thought. “You mean they don't do it like this?”

“No. Going right from the vein is a little taboo.” He drifted a hand up to her neck and she wriggled a little.

“How do they do it then?”

“Cutting, apparently. Dripping blood into mouths, that kind of thing.” Annabelle could feel him shrug a little.

“Like at the end of Hellsing?”

“Yeah.”

Annabelle's brow furrowed. She found herself playing with a buckle on his chest. She didn't know where he had found hoodies with buckles. “How do you know that?”

“I asked Eva.”

Annabelle's frown deepened. “Did you tell her about us?”

“No. I just asked her about the details of how Blood Bonding works. If she suspects anything, it's because... well, the Tremere have many mysterious ways of finding things out.” He caught himself smiling at that. He had a certain admiration for the Tremere.

Annabelle relaxed a little. She didn't mind Eva, despite any magic she had done on her in the past. She was mysterious, but seemed to be in Jasper's favour. “Oh. Okay.”

They were quiet again, comfortably cuddling. Everything Jasper had just told Annabelle about Blood Bonds was turning around and around in her mind. It gave her a degree of anxiety, but she believed the fact that Jasper trusted her so sincerely was an honour.

“Jasper?” She asked softly.

“Yes?”

“Do you... mind being Blood Bonded to me?”

He gave her a comforting little squeeze. “No.”

“Are you sure? That's not just my magic Vitae talking, is it?”

Jasper chuckled. “Yes, I'm sure. If I did mind... we wouldn't have had another date after that time when I was hit by a truck.”

“Oh.” She remembered the evening he was referencing well. She had been so very worried about him when she found out, and that worry had turned into terror when he didn't answer her calls or texts. Despite his efforts of healing, he had still been extremely badly hurt when she finally found him, and Annabelle was happy she found him when she did. The potential consequences of what could have happened if she hadn't were too scary to consider. She also wished she had been there to have prevented the incidence from happening in the first place. That night was the first time she had let Jasper feed from her neck. Every other time before that had been from her wrist. It was a big move, she knew, but she wanted it. It felt better to her, somehow. They had shared his bed for the first time afterwards. “Was that when the... Bond happened?”

“I think so, yeah,” Jasper said.

“Ah.”

“Yeah,” Jasper sighed.

“But it doesn't have to be a bad thing?” Annabelle confirmed. “The Blood Bond?”

Jasper shook his head. “No, it doesn't. Don't worry about me if I mind it or not. If I ever do want to... I can just keep away from you for a little while and that'll weaken it.”

“Oh, that's why I haven't seen you in a long time!”

“Yeah. That and... ya know... my guest.” Jasper smiled sharply.

“Uh-huh.”

“But there is a silver lining, of sorts,” Jasper explained. “If you are in trouble, and need me, I will feel it. You can summon me, wish I was there, and I'll feel it and come to you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. Now... you can see how another Kindred might abuse that power...” he paused to let Annabelle picture it, “but I trust you to not abuse it.” He gave the top of her head a little nuzzle.

“Right. I get it.” She smiled. “Thank you for trusting me with this, Jasper.”

“Thank you for letting me feed from you,” he replied.

“You're welcome.”

They spent the rest of the night chatting and watching bad reality TV on Annabelle's computer. When the sun rose and they felt the need to retire, they fell asleep spooning on Annabelle's large bed. The city of Los Angeles moved on around them, but they were content and dead to the world.