#🪸albert talks

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

I wonder if any of my clients use this site in their free time. It would explain why they try therapy.

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

*SLAMS THE OK BUTTON*

YES!

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

baby fish

I wish I had a photo of a baby fish to add to this.

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

cigarette NOT SAFE for baby fish. my heart is broken.

I don't even know where Taylor found that photo.

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

bitch

I'm certain this was Taylor.

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

We have, at some points, considered turning off the internet because of you and you alone! That is an achievement that you should not be proud of!

Just so you know, Krueger Health Solutions® can see your search history when you use the free WIFI in the waiting room!

-Albert

they can WHAT

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

GRABS YOU AND SQUEEZES YOU LIKE A STRESSBALL

LET GO OF ME AND JUST DO THE RORSCHACH TEST.

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

gay

No, no. You're probably thinking of Mr. Edgeworth.

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

aw, please, I’m sure you of all people would know that no company’s perfect! -myerschan

I know..

...But at least the Dream Eaters don't ask to make out with strangers. Your cyborgs are... interesting, to say the least.

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

You wouldn't.

...Plus, cigarettes aren't good for fish, especially baby fish. I'm sure you can see why I wasn't happy.

come get your bitchass marine biology lovin bestie. dude got mad at me for reblogging one of his posts with a photo of a baby fish with a cigarette

-Taylor Lee

I am going to throw him at a wall if he keeps this up.

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

I saw a video of a marine biology student almost get The Meg'ed by a curious shark and the student just swatted the thing on the nose like a bad dog.

Is that... normal??? I mean, it worked. The shark was like "my bad dude" and wandered off.

That's normal! It's because sharks have extremely sensitive noses, just like dogs. It practically overstimulates them, which makes them back off.

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

up and adam but blue and more murdery

Who...?

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

I will forfeit all my mortal possessions to u, fish boy

🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟

While I appreciate the sentiment, I must say that this is unnecessary. You need them more than me!

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

how squishy are you on a scale of 1 to 10

Hm... An eight? Possibly even a nine?

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

Hey (leans on my tank of goldfish with rizz)

Hello...?

I don't think you should lean on that...

[albertsmarinebiologydump]

I would like to arrange a therapy section with you today cuz I just read a tiktok comment that traumatised me for life. it said "I had a friend who drank the drink I left out not knowing that it was milk so after he drank it he shat so hard that it ran up his back and chunk and pieces of it flew up and stuck to his hair"

No seriously I didn't make that up I really need a session with you

I... actually don't know if I can help you with such horrors. My condolences.