#🦎 | drunken management

[the-costco-trio]

MUSES & MODS.

Specter ~ Mod Sam / X

Risktaker ~ Mod Tae

Spring Heated Wine ~ Mod Yami / Ghost

RULES.

Please don’t try to seduce my employees.

Nsfw or offensive asks will not be tolerated and deleted.

Specify whether asks are for certain characters or all.

Characters =/= mun.

Do not rush us when it comes to answering asks!

Responses will usually mostly contain text.

(Pinned may have changes as time goes on).

[yey56]

Villainous x reader who's a sleepwalker (someone who moves, speaks and walks in their sleep)

DR FLUG🧪:

First time he found you walking around the manor at night he though you were suicidal. He was scolding you when he realised that your eyes were closed and that you were asleep.

He's the one you can trust to actually protect you from yourself when you are wandering in your sleep.

Every time Flug catches you out of your bed at night, he carefully guides you back trying not to wake you up.

I won't deny he hasn't experimented a bit with you in that state.

After the first night of the discovery, having already processed your strange behaviour, he started following you without interacting, observing what would you do or where would you go.

The experiments had determined that sometimes you formulate complete sentences, though really incoherent or direct nonsense 🤌👀

Some examples of what he has heard coming out of your mouth are: "omellet, picke omellet please." "Help wanted, this ship is empty" "yes sir the cow is asleep".

Those are some examples of the bullshit you are saying while asleep.

Flug is the typical dude that is taking care that you don't end up in some kind of mortal danger. 🫂

Will actively try to make you go to your room again and if he doesn't manage to do that, he will try to tie you up in the sofa or smth.

Overall, he is the one who worries about you the most and the only one who will not reprimand you in the mornings.

Talking about mornings. When you manage to wake up the next day, having a little bit of headcahe (you've been hitting your head with door frames all night) he will try to encourage you to lock your bedroom at night.

He's really curious about what the hell are you dreaming about. I mean, the shit you pull at night are really some piece of work, he's curious 🤨.

You have asked him to give you a chest camera so you can record what you do at night. You guys watch it together once a week.

All in all, he is the only one who actively care for your well being.

DEMENCIA 🦎:

A menace.

The moment she realises you're sleep walking, the moment she starts messing with you in your sleep (but lovingly ☺️)

If she sees you get to close of falling through a set of stairs, she will stop you so you don't accidentally break your neck.

Demencia draws stuff in you face like a fake moustache or something written like: Dem is the best. (When you wake up and realise that the marker is permanent you are going to seek vengeance)

Has a lot of videos and photos about you, and of the constant nonsense you spill.

At night, whenever your talking in your dreams and saying the most outrageous and out of pocket stuff, shes there listening to you.

And the worst? She will answer and keep a conversation with your sleeping self.

Smth like this:

Reader: *mumbling* ketchup pajamas are in the cabinet on the Pacific. The Italians have been slaved.

Demencia: yeah girl you go!! Fuck that Mario plumber 🪠

Will not shut up about the shameful shit you do while sleeping. She's laughing at you and mocking you but will still vigilantes you in case you get to risky at night.

She will lend you her straitjacket some nights so you can be safe at one place without the risk of waking up in a forest. 👌👏

In conclusion:Demencia will have WAY more fun than Flug with your condition but still acknowledges that you can get hurt and tries to avoid it. (Almost always)

BLACK HAT 🎩:

He didn't really know how to react the first time he catched you wandering his manor at night. 🧐

Just as Flug, he though you had a death wish but also quickly realised, by your apparent drunken walk, that you were asleep.

Doesn't really interfere at first, just follows you and quietly watches. BH is genuinely entertained by your strange behaviours.

Has tried several times to interpret your mumbling and murmuring but at some point he realised it was complete gibberish.

You somehow managed to enter his office at night from time to time. (Apparently you know how to pick locks while sleeping 🫣🤗)

One night you were on the floor against the wall of his office saying something stupid he could barely understand when you suddenly started changing languages.

Reader: Yeah, stop it mom this is not guacamole. Sabes que no me sienta bien para el páncreas und ich habe Magenschmerzen. Bitte Krabbe. 🦀

BH: what the fuck-

That when black hat wanders why did he even let you in (he didnt, you picked the lock again)

After understanding your apparent almost suicidal way through his home he started to block some doors from your acces so you couldn't reach a tortuous death.

Once he catched you trying to enter a iron maiden he had laying around 💀🙈

This doesn't mean you're completely safe though.

I see him as the typical who magically transports you to a remote place so he can observe how you manage. Have fun trying to get back when you wake up ;)

The worst he has done was waking you up in the middle of your nightly walks scaring the shit out of you. He casually did it just a few steps near a set of stair which made you fall off.

After making sure you were in fact still alive he just laughed like a freaking maniac, dragged you to flugs rooms and after waking him up with a scream he left you there to be attended by him.

Whenever he sees you coming out of a room you didn't know about the night before or just entering the main gate after the night he just assumed you were in your own dreamy world. 🌚💤

Has transported you to your room every time he hear your near his office. Sometimes he even bother to open the door to see what the helm you're doing. 👀👀

Basically doesn't really intervene unless he's to bored or deems it absolutely necessary.

505 🐻:

He didn't really noticed your habits because he tends to sleep really well

But one night, he woke up to get a glass of water and he saw you walking in front of the bosses office trying to Transpass the door. 👻👻

He didn't quite understand what you were doing until he got close to you and saw your closed eyes .

He still didn't knew you were asleep so he started interacting with you trying to deduct why we're you acting so strange..🥸

Once you finally woke up, startled and confused, you explained to him that you were sleeping and to not worry to much.

Spoiler alert: he will worry to much.

Doesn't really understand why you do it but since you are so confident he will trust your judgement.

If 505 catches you out of your bed, you can be sure he's hugging you and carrying you back to you room, sometimes he has even dragged you to flugs room and lays you on the floor.

Flug almost tripped with your unconscious body in the morning. What a great way to get up 😃🖕

Doesn't care that you talk while sleeping. Since you don't have outbursts, you just tend to mumble, he can sleep peacefully even if your having a full blown rant about different types of hydric sources.

[the-costco-trio]

te cotsco lights go out leaving only one at me, i get my microphone and start singing

Oh-ooh-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-ooh-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-ooh-whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

You know you love me (yo), I know you care (uh-huh) Just shout whenever (yo), and I'll be there (uh-huh) You are my love (yo), you are my heart (uh-huh) And we will never, ever, ever be apart (yo, uh-huh)

Are we an item? (Yo) girl, quit playin' (uh-huh) "We're just friends" (yo), what are you sayin'? (Uh-huh) Said, "There's another" (yo), and looked right in my eyes (uh-huh) My first love broke my heart for the first time, and I was like (yo, uh-huh)

"Baby, baby, baby, oh" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, no" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, oh" I thought you'd always be mine, mine

"Baby, baby, baby, oh" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, no" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, oh" I thought you'd always be mine, mine

Oh, for you, I would've done whatever (uh-huh) And I just can't believe we ain't together (yo, uh-huh) And I wanna play it cool (yo), but I'm losin' you (uh-huh) I'll buy you anything (yo), I'll buy you any ring (uh-huh)

And I'm in pieces (yo), baby, fix me (uh-huh) And just shake me 'til you wake me from this bad dream (yo, uh-huh) I'm goin' down (oh), down, down, down (uh-huh) And I just can't believe, my first love won't be around, and I'm like

"Baby, baby, baby, oh" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, no" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, oh" I thought you'd always be mine, mine

"Baby, baby, baby, oh" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, no" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, oh" I thought you'd always be mine, mine (Luda!)

When I was 13, I had my first love There was nobody that compared to my baby And nobody came between us, nor could ever come above She had me goin' crazy Oh, I was starstruck She woke me up daily Don't need no Starbucks (woo)

She made my heart pound And skip a beat when I see her in the street and At school on the playground But I really wanna see her on the weekend She knows she got me dazin' 'Cause she was so amazin' And now, my heart is breakin' But I just keep on sayin'

"Baby, baby, baby, oh" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, no" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, oh" I thought you'd always be mine, mine

"Baby, baby, baby, oh" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, no" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, oh" I thought you'd always be mine, mine

I'm gone (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) Now, I'm all gone (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) Now, I'm all gone (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) Now, I'm all gone (gone, gone, gone) I'm gone

"...your artistic performance moves me like a good game of cards and the thrilling game with a roll born from luck and fortune. One? Two? Three? Four? Spin the wheel, throw the dart. Sing. Sing for me, fool."

[the-costco-trio]

Umm context. Uh. Okay. it’s. It’s a long story but uh-

so this child kinda broke into my house and refuses to leave and now her fathers might be possibly after me- which I wouldn’t really care too much about if one of them wasn’t an obsessed fanfic writer and the other one is a cryptic sacrificer and I’m a bit scared for my life!! 😊😭😊

"...I uhm..."

...

"Ma'am, this is a Costco. Not the police??"

[the-costco-trio]

spring heated wine what are your thoughts on old man yaoi

"The what?"

[the-costco-trio]

Heey, Spring Heated Wine.. how much would I have to pay for you to possibly fist-fight two fathers for me <3

"...It all depends on the context you give me."

[the-costco-trio]

im feeling very happy and want this job boss plz if you like the song you hire me

"Okay... go for it."

[the-costco-trio]

boss can i sing you a song

"Why?"

[the-costco-trio]

Boss imma be honest with you what the fuck are you talking about 💔

"Hmm?"

[the-costco-trio]

Luchino what the fuck

*The "manager" is too busy chugging a bottle of wine while doing inventory to care about your ask*

[the-costco-trio]

Naw boss im gonna be real with you i need your shirt because while i was walking down the streets (shirtless cuz the rats ate the only shirt i had) the chicago gangs found me and were like "hey little man!!! Hey little baby man!!!!" and i was like "nooo im not a baby man stop!!!!" anyway they beat my ass and were like "if you dont bring the costcos' boss shirt to us till midnight were going to beat you ass again and also were gonna beat the rats who live with you (the rats who ate my shirt and made me shirtless)" so anyways boss please this is a case of life and death 💔💔💔💔

"Do you quiver? Do the thoughts of these hooligans fill you with fear? Do you think of the end of your life so often that you've begun to fear it? Can you feel the fear, crawling on your skin as it grips you tight, tearing through flesh and breaking through bone? Leaving you paralyzed and immobile as those scoundrels ascend from the deepest of the depths? Each blow, shattering ribs, and the little self-worth you have left to your pathetic, meaningless name? As the firey depths consume you, and you exist no more?"

[the-costco-trio]

UEEUEUEUEUEEYEUEUEUEEYEYEYEYEUEUEUEUEUEEUEUEUEUEUEUEEUEUEUEUEUEEUEUEUEUEEUEU BOSS PLEASE DONT KILL ME im just a silly guy looking for a job just walked on cotsco shirtless cuz the rats have eaten my shirt plz boss the situation is so hard boss i hate living in chicago fr 💔💔💔💔💔💔

"Like I said, I can get you a shirt from the back? It's not that big of a deal."

[the-costco-trio]

So boss i need uhhh uhhh uhhh i need the exact same size as the shirt you using rn uhhhuhhhh uhhhhuhhhh can you give it to me real quick 🥺👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈

"... no. I can acquire the same size from Specter's back room though. Maybe I'll ask him for a hammer while I'm at it, you're CLEARLY not thinking straight."

[the-costco-trio]

Luchino how much do I have to pay for you to take that shirt off 😘

( /w rizz )

"...Maam, Sir, whatever the fuck you are, this is a Costco."

[the-costco-trio]

Luchino, please, I’m not smart enough for this.

"I can't help you with that, but I can assist you in other manners. Like, the wine section, or the brownies section."

[the-costco-trio]

Why the fuck did Luchino get poetic out of nowhere /lh

"Do you shake? Do you quake? Do you shiver? Does poetry fill you with fear, dear anon? Does my neverending flow of melody strike uneasy into your heart? Does the wine of the gods elude you? Or are you just a sober person, looking wayyy too deeply into my drunken proverbs?"