#🥜 peanupdate 🥜

[wanderpawn]

An In-Depth Analysis of Neuvillette's Character Stories and how they tie into my headcanons

I posted part of this on twitter yesterday because some fellow neuvifuri enjoyers were asking me to write a Neuvillette character analysis, so I'm posting it here, too. And I realized I never actually explained why I believe the things I believe about Neuvillette, so I'll be doing that here as well.

This analysis is divided into three parts— Foundation, Gender Identity, and Dissociative Identity. The "Foundation" section is the basis for all of my headcanons for Neuvillette.

⟡ Foundation

Neuvillette’s character is essentially a story about being freed, which is a parallel to Furina’s story. Though, instead of being freed from a burden put onto them by others, Neuvillette’s story is about finally being freed from a burden placed upon themself, by themself.

It’s the symbolism of external conflict vs. internal conflict that makes Furina and Neuvillette's relationship so interesting.

Neuvillette is a very strong person, having been able to be completely impartial and separated from society for their entire life. Something that’s mentioned a lot in their character information is that they’ve always felt like an outsider around others.

They felt like they had to “act as a normal human,” which prevented them from being unequivocally themself.

But after the events of Masquerade of the Guilty, there was no longer a need to be so closed-off. The worst had already happened, and there was nothing left except to pick up the fragmented pieces of what they once had, and put them back together.

Despite regaining the full extent of their Dragon Sovereign's powers, Neuvillette was left having become even more human than they were before. Just as Furina became fully human with Focalors’ sacrifice, it could be argued that Neuvillette did, too (metaphorically).

There is no longer a need for Neuvillette to pretend. Now they are free to exist, in whichever way they choose.

⟡ Gender Identity

Neuvillette is not human, despite how human they seem. They are in essence a Hydro Dragon, and given what we know about dragons in Genshin (re: Zhongli, the genderfluid shapeshifter) and what we know about the Archons (inherently genderless), we can assume Neuvillette is also inherently genderless.

And the truth of the matter is that they take the form of a man, so we can assume they've done that by choice, i.e., pretending to be a "normal human", or what a normal human looks like in their eyes. And if they have dysphoria with how they look (which is not necessarily a trans thing in this case, dysphoria can also be dissociative), they would want to assume the role that would alleviate it. Therefore, Neuvillette = transmasc. I need to be clear about that.

So, after regaining their powers, and feeling the weight lifted off their shoulders, it would make sense that they'd stop caring about looking like a "normal human" as much, and assume their naturally genderless stance.

⟡ Dissociative Identity

These excerpts all have one thing in common: incongruence.

Definition (in psychology): "Incongruence is when there is a misalignment and not a balance or overlap between the real self and the ideal self." (link)

Neuvillette's struggle with incongruence can be interpreted as Neuvillette themself, the alter, being Neuvillette's mind's manifestation of what a "normal human" looks like, which can be backed up by the quote "The only person who isn't really him is the one who goes by the name of Neuvillette."

It's really convoluted... it took me a while to understand, too.

I'll try to explain it like this: Neuvillette is the one who is trying to fit the mold of a human. That's why the Melusines say they're not really the "real Neuvillette"— because the "real" Neuvillette has desires and a personality that Neuvillette has subconsciously decided doesn't fit for a "human" to have. (of course, there's some cognitive distortion going on there.)

The "real" Neuvillette is the one I like to call Leviathan. They're the one who shows up more after the events of Masquerade of the Guilty. They're the one who has the courage to cut their hair short and smile at their friends.

Of course, all of Neuvillette's parts are equally Neuvillette, it's just worded that way for literary effect, I suppose.

⟡ Conclusion

In the end, Neuvillette's story is a story about being freed, but it's also very much a story about identity, at its core.

It was fun to write this... I'm sorry it's so long... but it really is nice to have all of my theories written out finally. I've been rolling all of this around in my head for the entire past year! It's so nice to see it in words :')

Hopefully you found it interesting!

[wanderpawn]

Analyzing Neuvillette's Character Teaser From a Dissociative Disorder Perspective

I mentioned this headcanon a little in this post of mine, and described it heavily in this fanfic I wrote, but now I'm actually going to talk about it a little more in depth (´-ω-`)

I'm going to start by looking at a definition and a list of symptoms of dissociative disorders, because I think it's good to have some background on the topic, and I'll be referencing them throughout the post.

Now I'll look at the teaser!

This is one of the first scenes of the video:

In this line, Neuvillette says, "I neither know why I was born in this form, nor do I understand where this long life should take me."

Memory loss of this caliber (one's entire past) is known as dissociative amnesia. (unless it's caused by a brain injury... which I think it's pretty safe to say it's not, in this case.)

Also, I think it's true (for me, at least) that not having a clear vision of the past + present can cause one to have an inability to imagine the future.

Later we see Sedene say, "It's not like you to zone out!" to Neuvillette, despite how we see them "zone out" multiple times during their appearances in the game. I will also note that the "zoning out" was triggered by a memory, which makes it much closer to dissociation than just merely "zoning out".

The last part of the teaser I want to talk about is the end, where Neuvillette says the line pictured above.

They say very clearly that they can only understand themself through observing other people. This blatantly shows that they have a very blurred sense of identity, which is one of the defining traits of a dissociative disorder.

Then there's a few more points I want to make that's about their character in general, without the video.

The fact that Neuvillette is so closed-off towards others, and has such rigid boundaries, and doesn't understand human emotions— well, don't you think they must feel rather separated from themself and their emotions?

And they don't have many friends at all... they keep a harsh distance from everyone in Fontaine... doesn't that count as "problems in relationships"?

And if you've played/watched the Fontaine storyline, and/or read Neuvillette's character stories, well, you'd know they're definitely traumatized.

SO yeah, that's all, I just wanted to finally dump my silly little Neuvillette perspective on all of you (even though that's all I ever do anyway) ( ; ω ; )

Thank you for indulging me, haha!!! 💙

[wanderpawn]

Furina’s Vision (and their story quest in general) has always meant more than words can say to me because it’s what allowed me to finally see myself for who I am. Every part of myself.

Furina struggles with something very similar to me, being split into different parts. After 500 years of suffering, they wholeheartedly believed they didn’t deserve to have friends or a nice life because of the turmoil they had caused and the parts of themself they had to keep hidden from everyone else. 

But then they were given a Vision. As a reward for going through all of it, supposedly. For being strong. For being themself.

That’s what always stuck with me. Furina’s Vision is like a reward for being uniquely themself, chaotic parts and all. It was a sign— to me, anyway— that meant “maybe it’s not so bad to be the way I am, if it’s worthy of being rewarded like that.”

I have Furina’s Vision in real life, too. It was made for me by a wonderful friend. Just like how a good amount of people think Neuvillette was the one who gifted Furina their Vision, mine was also a gift from someone really important to me, who helped me realize my true self.

Aaaaaanyway, the one-year anniversary of me being Furina just passed, so I wanted to share all the thoughts that I still have scurrying around in my head a year later :’3

Did you guys know I’ve cosplayed Furina to 10 different events over the past year? It’s my most worn cosplay ever, by far!!! Definitely my comfort outfit (´-ω-`)

[wanderpawn]

reca costest? I am SEATED👁️👁️

Wake up wanderpawn nation!!!!!! We are getting freaky tonight!!!!!!!

[wanderpawn]

An Introduction to the Neuvillette Trio

I don't believe I've ever actually introduced them before... so have these little character profiles of the three of them, for reference!

✧ Neuvillette 🌧️

- looks grumpy, but is actually just neutral about everything.

- likes: water, rain, writing, puddles.

- dislikes: swimming pools

- doesn't smile much. very awkward.

- very literary... types like someone writing a novel.

- is my brain's manifestation of what Neuvillette believes a "normal person" looks like.

✧ Leviathan Neuvillette 🌦️

- much more animated and cheerful!

- likes: water, steak, and drawing.

- dislikes: how little it rains around here...

- slightly less awkward, and better at talking to others.

- they're assigned the 🌦️ emoji, but they still don't like sunshine.

- is the Neuvillette who's more willing to show who they are on the inside.

✧ Diluvium Neuvillette ⛈️

- kind of crazy... with unstable mood swings...

- likes: water, and chocolate pudding

- dislikes: social media and performing as someone he's not

- doesn't like to leave his room much.

- always has a wacky expression on his face. just what is he thinking....

- the Neuvillette who is unafraid to show his true self.

And together the three make Leviathan Diluvium Neuvillette! My full name!

Just some wanderpawn lore for all of you 🥹

↑ Height comparison :)

[wanderpawn]

Dumping all of my Reca headcanons here because I still can't stop thinking about them (´-_-`)

Do people even make good old fashioned headcanon lists anymore ?? I'm not sure :( Anyways, here's all of my brainrot!

Appearance— yes, I made these edits.... ahaha!

I might be a tiny bit biased on all of these, actually.... (*hypobole*)

Then there's the.... List? Not sure what to call this part— sorry, this gets kind of wordy....

Reca is a he/him in the way a cute dog or cat is a he/him. Doesn't really care about it though. Would wear a ruffly blouse or shorts if he so desired. He also doesn't mind being called they/them

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ (Specifically transmasc)

Reca dyed his hair blonde/silver and then didn't do anything to maintain it so now he just has massive roots 😬 that's why his hair is like that ���😬

He has no interest in romance, he gets enamored by the concept of it in films, but never actually experiences feeling that way in real life.

This man can draw.... for storyboarding, mostly, but he's pretty good at it. He's pretty good at most art-related hobbies.

Since he can draw, Reca carries a sketchbook around with him in case a Brilliant Idea strikes him in daily life, he doesn't want to forget it, so he'll draw it really quickly

(The sketchbook ends up just being a bunch of incomprehensible scribbles because there's never any time to draw an actual full-on idea 😔 but at least Reca understands what he was trying to draw. Kind of.)

I don't know if I'm legally allowed to say this (fandom-wise), but. He's short..... he's only 5'3—— I mean, 5'5 🥺🥺🥺 (I do not believe in tall men) (plus he's trans so you know)

Reca had a bout of psychosis at one point.... now he claims it's "built character"

He has ADHD reeeeallyyyyyyy bad. And therefore stays up all night working on projects of interest (hyperfixations.....)

He also has OCD + perfectionism really bad. I mean >_> look at him

He's a strong proponent of less sex scenes in movies..... cinema is much more than shock value alone..... plus he just highly dislikes sex 😔

Wowiee that was a lot 🫠 Sorry, I had to get it out of my system.

Thank you for reading my.... *desperately attempting not to use the word "cringe"*..... Brain. Vomit?

🫡

[wanderpawn]

An Introduction to the Zhongli Trio

This is part two to the introject introductions I made before c: this time I'll be introducing my Zhonglis!

Zhongli 🍂

- extremely awkward. Much more so than Neuvi.

- likes: cool rocks, collecting things, writing angsty journal entries

dislikes: chaos.

- kindhearted, but doesn't know how to have a proper conversation.

- fronts so frequently they have a silly nickname from my friends :') (I would share it but it's the teeniest bit raunchy...)

- they're the shortest of the three (just under 5'5)

Rex Lapis 🌾

- likes to be called Rex.

- very easygoing and relaxed.

- likes: soup, silliness, drawing

- dislikes: loud noises and my brain's rules

- always has a :3 expression (in spirit)

- extremely scatterbrained....

- is the second shortest, almost tied with Zhongli.

Morax 🍵

- grumpy old man

- likes: touching grass. And tea.

- dislikes: physical pain and suffering

- has perpetual dark eye bags from all the pain he's gone through

- is also the one who handles all my physical pain (which unfortunately is a lot)

- doesn't talk much.

- very tall.... like, Very tall....

We don't have a collective name like "Leviathan Diluvium Neuvillette," I just use the name Rex because it's silly and I like it!

Something else I forgot to mention on my last introduction is that all three of my Neuvillettes and all three of my Zhonglis are extremely aroace. I don't know where I would've fit that in, though.....

Also, the drawings here are a little outdated. All six of us have very short hair now.

Yay, thanks for reading! :D

[wanderpawn]

oh no... *hugs you* we...actually had something like that happen a while back...

uhh that's not the point. point is. why am i hereeeee

also you can keep calling us 🪶, but we don’t mind chia, short for the chiaroscuro collective ^^

~dan heng (who literally formed today. what is this…)

Good to know ! 🫡

That which is not obvious at the moment will all be revealed in due time.... at least, I find that to be true for myself, anyway!

I have a horrible memory, so I tend to write my thoughts down constantly (the notes app on my phone is my best friend 🥺). It's immensely helpful when trying to figure things out later on!

You'll be okay, my friend. I believe in you!

[wanderpawn]

TYSM LEVI <33333

Uhh we’re doing ok. We have:

Slightly canon-divergent Lyney (acts kinda like c!Lyney with Aventurine backstory bits) who is uhh. Our host OwO

Icarus, canon compliant Wanderer/Scaramouche fictive…he’s scary sometimes but he’s actually a big softie inside ^^

Rappa is here hehe. She’s cool and she really likes to draw <3

And me…Misha. Uhh I got revived I guess. Co-host TwT

There’s I think like ten more but. They prob won’t ever come here so eh I’ll leave it up to them

~Misha (🧹🫧)

Oooohh that's so neat !!!! You all sound so nice and cool 🥹🥹🥹

There are many parts to a peanut.... the most usual suspects I sorted into this little section of my notes called

~The ✨Salon Solitaire✨~

Haha ! Can you tell Furina named it? They used to be the host back then :')

Anyway, it consisted of Furina, Neuvillette, Zhongli, and Wanderer. But then something really horrible happened a couple months ago and now three of them don't exist (in the same way) anymore! (I think?) Ahaha!

Now I'm stuck with Reca (me) as the host 🥲

I'm dying chat 🥲🥲🥲🥲

Sorry, I'm just kidding. Point of the matter is that things will stabilize eventually! After months of switching multiple times a day post-diagnosis, I'm finally at a place where I've switched only twice in two months :)

These things take time and a lot of chaos.... but I'm certain it's worth it! 🫶

[wanderpawn]

OOH YOUR ART AND COSPLAY BOTH LOOK BEAUTIFUL > <

Also 🪶 was just worried. Because tbh a lot happened since the last time you posted.

Like they found out they also have a peanut gallery. Oop-

~Misha. Who shares a brain with 🪶 anon. Hi Mr Reca ^^

NO WAY— PEANUT GALLERY REPRESENTATION !!!!!!!!!! NOW THAT'S ABSOLUTE CINEMATOGRAPHY, THE TWIST OF THE CENTURY, THE MOST THRILLING CLIMAX OF ALL——

Ah, anyway, can you tell I think that's really cool :'') I don't have many friends at all who know what it's like!

I hope you're doing okay, Misha and 🪶 anon! The first few months can be pretty stressful. I'll definitely be rooting for you! 🫶

[wanderpawn]

mr reca is very cool and so are you ^^

~🪶 anon

Ahaha.... god only knows we are the same person..... but I digress. Thank you, my friend (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

[wanderpawn]

leviathan? are you ok /gen

~🪶 anon

HELLO YES SORRY I'm quite alright, I've just been really busy with cosplay stuff! I was at a con this past weekend and I haven't been able to draw much at all ;u;

Thank you for checking in on me! I promise I'll post something again soon 🥹

[wanderpawn]

nono issok <3 and tysm i hada wonderful halloween

except i also stayed up til 4am cos i wrote fic and then played genshin and hsr lol TwT

but yay :D also mr reca looks great in ur style

~🪶 anon

That sounds like a super fun night!! I hope you were able to get enough rest, too, though! (all those nights I've spent drawing until twilight hours flash through my mind....)

And thank you for saying that ;u; I'm kind of obsessed with drawing him.... I think I make him look too baby, though, haha..... I feel like I'm drawing myself every time I draw Reca because his hair looks exactly like mine if I had longer brown roots 🥲 and for other reasons too, but i digress >_>

Sorry, tangent.... ahaha..... anyway, I'm very glad you had a nice holiday !!

[wanderpawn]

happy late halloween ^^

~🪶 anon

And a happy Halloween to you too, delightful 🪶! I hope you had a very nice one :)

[wanderpawn]

tysm levi!!

for now im probably sticking with she/they ^^

~🪶 anon

Cool cool ! It's always good to practice coping strategies, they help with so many things! 🫡👍🥹

[wanderpawn]

can i say again i love your art so much (very gender. also cute art style)

also i feel like you’d be a good friend /gen

~🪶 anon

I'm so happy you like it 🥹 thank you!!!

And thank you for saying that, too :') If you ever wanted to chat about anything, feel free to message me! (No pressure, though!)