#🥜 peanupdate 🥜

[wanderpawn]

I finally wrote out my Sunday headcanons!

Appearance— I made these edits, too (´；ω；`)

I am definitely biased on all of these, actually 😬

Anyway, onto the bullet points!

Name: Sunday

Gender: Sunday

Pronouns: Sunday

Occupation: Sunday

Sorry, I'm just kidding!

I'll give you the real thing:

He loves his name. He thinks it's adorable and silly and so, so fitting (He's very proud of it)

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ we've got another transmasc here, boys.... yet another he/they in our midst....

He's not a crybaby, but he does cry a lot. In fact, he cries so often that now he has tears frequently running down his face for no reason at all 🥲

He's quite musically inclined, but doesn't do much with it anymore because he's developed a lack of coordination.

Do I need to mention the OCD? Boy's got some obsessive compulsions BIG TIME. I feel like he'd specifically have hand washing OCD, that's why he wears gloves. And the "balancing" OCD (if you know what I mean).

He's a chronic doodler. Not on anything important, but sometimes his mind wanders and he just starts sketching things 🥺

He's also a chronic infodumper.

He loves fashion 🥹 that's why we've seen him in so many outfits. He's very fashionable and has a good sense of style. But he's also the type of person who finds an outfit he really likes and then wears it every day for months 🥲

His hair is gray, but it has chunky highlights.... an odd combination, sure, but he's extremely particular about it. (he dyes it himself)

He gets a lot of comments on his unique eyes. Apparently it's not super common to have golden star shapes in the centers of your irises 😔 his extra long eyelashes get noticed frequently, too.

That's all! :D (for now. haha.)

[wanderpawn]

An In-Depth Analysis of Neuvillette's Character Stories and how they tie into my headcanons

I posted part of this on twitter yesterday because some fellow neuvifuri enjoyers were asking me to write a Neuvillette character analysis, so I'm posting it here, too. And I realized I never actually explained why I believe the things I believe about Neuvillette, so I'll be doing that here as well.

This analysis is divided into three parts— Foundation, Gender Identity, and Dissociative Identity. The "Foundation" section is the basis for all of my headcanons for Neuvillette.

⟡ Foundation

Neuvillette’s character is essentially a story about being freed, which is a parallel to Furina’s story. Though, instead of being freed from a burden put onto them by others, Neuvillette’s story is about finally being freed from a burden placed upon themself, by themself.

It’s the symbolism of external conflict vs. internal conflict that makes Furina and Neuvillette's relationship so interesting.

Neuvillette is a very strong person, having been able to be completely impartial and separated from society for their entire life. Something that’s mentioned a lot in their character information is that they’ve always felt like an outsider around others.

They felt like they had to “act as a normal human,” which prevented them from being unequivocally themself.

But after the events of Masquerade of the Guilty, there was no longer a need to be so closed-off. The worst had already happened, and there was nothing left except to pick up the fragmented pieces of what they once had, and put them back together.

Despite regaining the full extent of their Dragon Sovereign's powers, Neuvillette was left having become even more human than they were before. Just as Furina became fully human with Focalors’ sacrifice, it could be argued that Neuvillette did, too (metaphorically).

There is no longer a need for Neuvillette to pretend. Now they are free to exist, in whichever way they choose.

⟡ Gender Identity

Neuvillette is not human, despite how human they seem. They are in essence a Hydro Dragon, and given what we know about dragons in Genshin (re: Zhongli, the genderfluid shapeshifter) and what we know about the Archons (inherently genderless), we can assume Neuvillette is also inherently genderless.

And the truth of the matter is that they take the form of a man, so we can assume they've done that by choice, i.e., pretending to be a "normal human", or what a normal human looks like in their eyes. And if they have dysphoria with how they look (which is not necessarily a trans thing in this case, dysphoria can also be dissociative), they would want to assume the role that would alleviate it. Therefore, Neuvillette = transmasc. I need to be clear about that.

So, after regaining their powers, and feeling the weight lifted off their shoulders, it would make sense that they'd stop caring about looking like a "normal human" as much, and assume their naturally genderless stance.

⟡ Dissociative Identity

These excerpts all have one thing in common: incongruence.

Definition (in psychology): "Incongruence is when there is a misalignment and not a balance or overlap between the real self and the ideal self." (link)

Neuvillette's struggle with incongruence can be interpreted as Neuvillette themself, the alter, being Neuvillette's mind's manifestation of what a "normal human" looks like, which can be backed up by the quote "The only person who isn't really him is the one who goes by the name of Neuvillette."

It's really convoluted... it took me a while to understand, too.

I'll try to explain it like this: Neuvillette is the one who is trying to fit the mold of a human. That's why the Melusines say they're not really the "real Neuvillette"— because the "real" Neuvillette has desires and a personality that Neuvillette has subconsciously decided doesn't fit for a "human" to have. (of course, there's some cognitive distortion going on there.)

The "real" Neuvillette is the one I like to call Leviathan. They're the one who shows up more after the events of Masquerade of the Guilty. They're the one who has the courage to cut their hair short and smile at their friends.

Of course, all of Neuvillette's parts are equally Neuvillette, it's just worded that way for literary effect, I suppose.

⟡ Conclusion

In the end, Neuvillette's story is a story about being freed, but it's also very much a story about identity, at its core.

It was fun to write this... I'm sorry it's so long... but it really is nice to have all of my theories written out finally. I've been rolling all of this around in my head for the entire past year! It's so nice to see it in words :')

Hopefully you found it interesting!

[wanderpawn]

It's Sunday Day 🥳☀️📆🎉

May everyone's pulls be blessed !!

[wanderpawn]

Analyzing Neuvillette's Character Teaser From a Dissociative Disorder Perspective

I mentioned this headcanon a little in this post of mine, and described it heavily in this fanfic I wrote, but now I'm actually going to talk about it a little more in depth (´-ω-`)

I'm going to start by looking at a definition and a list of symptoms of dissociative disorders, because I think it's good to have some background on the topic, and I'll be referencing them throughout the post.

Now I'll look at the teaser!

This is one of the first scenes of the video:

In this line, Neuvillette says, "I neither know why I was born in this form, nor do I understand where this long life should take me."

Memory loss of this caliber (one's entire past) is known as dissociative amnesia. (unless it's caused by a brain injury... which I think it's pretty safe to say it's not, in this case.)

Also, I think it's true (for me, at least) that not having a clear vision of the past + present can cause one to have an inability to imagine the future.

Later we see Sedene say, "It's not like you to zone out!" to Neuvillette, despite how we see them "zone out" multiple times during their appearances in the game. I will also note that the "zoning out" was triggered by a memory, which makes it much closer to dissociation than just merely "zoning out".

The last part of the teaser I want to talk about is the end, where Neuvillette says the line pictured above.

They say very clearly that they can only understand themself through observing other people. This blatantly shows that they have a very blurred sense of identity, which is one of the defining traits of a dissociative disorder.

Then there's a few more points I want to make that's about their character in general, without the video.

The fact that Neuvillette is so closed-off towards others, and has such rigid boundaries, and doesn't understand human emotions— well, don't you think they must feel rather separated from themself and their emotions?

And they don't have many friends at all... they keep a harsh distance from everyone in Fontaine... doesn't that count as "problems in relationships"?

And if you've played/watched the Fontaine storyline, and/or read Neuvillette's character stories, well, you'd know they're definitely traumatized.

SO yeah, that's all, I just wanted to finally dump my silly little Neuvillette perspective on all of you (even though that's all I ever do anyway) ( ; ω ; )

Thank you for indulging me, haha!!! 💙

[wanderpawn]

Furina’s Vision (and their story quest in general) has always meant more than words can say to me because it’s what allowed me to finally see myself for who I am. Every part of myself.

Furina struggles with something very similar to me, being split into different parts. After 500 years of suffering, they wholeheartedly believed they didn’t deserve to have friends or a nice life because of the turmoil they had caused and the parts of themself they had to keep hidden from everyone else. 

But then they were given a Vision. As a reward for going through all of it, supposedly. For being strong. For being themself.

That’s what always stuck with me. Furina’s Vision is like a reward for being uniquely themself, chaotic parts and all. It was a sign— to me, anyway— that meant “maybe it’s not so bad to be the way I am, if it’s worthy of being rewarded like that.”

I have Furina’s Vision in real life, too. It was made for me by a wonderful friend. Just like how a good amount of people think Neuvillette was the one who gifted Furina their Vision, mine was also a gift from someone really important to me, who helped me realize my true self.

Aaaaaanyway, the one-year anniversary of me being Furina just passed, so I wanted to share all the thoughts that I still have scurrying around in my head a year later :’3

Did you guys know I’ve cosplayed Furina to 10 different events over the past year? It’s my most worn cosplay ever, by far!!! Definitely my comfort outfit (´-ω-`)

[wanderpawn]

reca costest? I am SEATED👁️👁️

Wake up wanderpawn nation!!!!!! We are getting freaky tonight!!!!!!!

[wanderpawn]

I made an edit of my silly little memokeeper hair 🥲

Hehe :P

[wanderpawn]

An Introduction to the Neuvillette Trio

I don't believe I've ever actually introduced them before... so have these little character profiles of the three of them, for reference!

✧ Neuvillette 🌧️

- looks grumpy, but is actually just neutral about everything.

- likes: water, rain, writing, puddles.

- dislikes: swimming pools

- doesn't smile much. very awkward.

- very literary... types like someone writing a novel.

- is my brain's manifestation of what Neuvillette believes a "normal person" looks like.

✧ Leviathan Neuvillette 🌦️

- much more animated and cheerful!

- likes: water, steak, and drawing.

- dislikes: how little it rains around here...

- slightly less awkward, and better at talking to others.

- they're assigned the 🌦️ emoji, but they still don't like sunshine.

- is the Neuvillette who's more willing to show who they are on the inside.

✧ Diluvium Neuvillette ⛈️

- kind of crazy... with unstable mood swings...

- likes: water, and chocolate pudding

- dislikes: social media and performing as someone he's not

- doesn't like to leave his room much.

- always has a wacky expression on his face. just what is he thinking....

- the Neuvillette who is unafraid to show his true self.

And together the three make Leviathan Diluvium Neuvillette! My full name!

Just some wanderpawn lore for all of you 🥹

↑ Height comparison :)

[wanderpawn]

Dumping all of my Reca headcanons here because I still can't stop thinking about them (´-_-`)

Do people even make good old fashioned headcanon lists anymore ?? I'm not sure :( Anyways, here's all of my brainrot!

Appearance— yes, I made these edits.... ahaha!

I might be a tiny bit biased on all of these, actually.... (*hypobole*)

Then there's the.... List? Not sure what to call this part— sorry, this gets kind of wordy....

Reca is a he/him in the way a cute dog or cat is a he/him. Doesn't really care about it though. Would wear a ruffly blouse or shorts if he so desired. He also doesn't mind being called they/them

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ (Specifically transmasc)

Reca dyed his hair blonde/silver and then didn't do anything to maintain it so now he just has massive roots 😬 that's why his hair is like that 😬😬

He has no interest in romance, he gets enamored by the concept of it in films, but never actually experiences feeling that way in real life.

This man can draw.... for storyboarding, mostly, but he's pretty good at it. He's pretty good at most art-related hobbies.

Since he can draw, Reca carries a sketchbook around with him in case a Brilliant Idea strikes him in daily life, he doesn't want to forget it, so he'll draw it really quickly

(The sketchbook ends up just being a bunch of incomprehensible scribbles because there's never any time to draw an actual full-on idea 😔 but at least Reca understands what he was trying to draw. Kind of.)

I don't know if I'm legally allowed to say this (fandom-wise), but. He's short..... he's only 5'3—— I mean, 5'5 🥺🥺🥺 (I do not believe in tall men) (plus he's trans so you know)

Reca had a bout of psychosis at one point.... now he claims it's "built character"

He has ADHD reeeeallyyyyyyy bad. And therefore stays up all night working on projects of interest (hyperfixations.....)

He also has OCD + perfectionism really bad. I mean >_> look at him

He's a strong proponent of less sex scenes in movies..... cinema is much more than shock value alone..... plus he just highly dislikes sex 😔

Wowiee that was a lot 🫠 Sorry, I had to get it out of my system.

Thank you for reading my.... *desperately attempting not to use the word "cringe"*..... Brain. Vomit?

🫡

[wanderpawn]

An Introduction to the Zhongli Trio

This is part two to the introject introductions I made before c: this time I'll be introducing my Zhonglis!

Zhongli 🍂

- extremely awkward. Much more so than Neuvi.

- likes: cool rocks, collecting things, writing angsty journal entries

dislikes: chaos.

- kindhearted, but doesn't know how to have a proper conversation.

- fronts so frequently they have a silly nickname from my friends :') (I would share it but it's the teeniest bit raunchy...)

- they're the shortest of the three (just under 5'5)

Rex Lapis 🌾

- likes to be called Rex.

- very easygoing and relaxed.

- likes: soup, silliness, drawing

- dislikes: loud noises and my brain's rules

- always has a :3 expression (in spirit)

- extremely scatterbrained....

- is the second shortest, almost tied with Zhongli.

Morax 🍵

- grumpy old man

- likes: touching grass. And tea.

- dislikes: physical pain and suffering

- has perpetual dark eye bags from all the pain he's gone through

- is also the one who handles all my physical pain (which unfortunately is a lot)

- doesn't talk much.

- very tall.... like, Very tall....

We don't have a collective name like "Leviathan Diluvium Neuvillette," I just use the name Rex because it's silly and I like it!

Something else I forgot to mention on my last introduction is that all three of my Neuvillettes and all three of my Zhonglis are extremely aroace. I don't know where I would've fit that in, though.....

Also, the drawings here are a little outdated. All six of us have very short hair now.

Yay, thanks for reading! :D

[wanderpawn]

Here's a little doodle I did of my "Host Lineage" from the past five years (aka, my entire life that I can remember)

Nene was the host from 2020 - 2023, that's why I still go by Nene in a lot of aspects of my life :) Feels like forever ago, though, haha!

Neuvillette (aka Leviathan) was the host from mid 2023 up until a couple months ago, when some unfortunate things happened and Reca took over. Now I don't remember any of it! 😬👍

Anyway, I was just writing something about all of this, and I thought, "why not draw it really quickly?" So I did ^^ That's all!

[wanderpawn]

i was gonna misery in your inbox but the others said no, so. have an emote.

(^_^)

ok bye

~chia

My dm's are always open if you ever want to talk about anything 🫡

[wanderpawn]

(oh my god what am i doing I LITERALLY HAVE NEVER TALKED TO YOU.) (new guygirlthing whose first time fronting was yesterday) (i am acting like the idiot i very much am)

~chia

Welcome to the Peanut Gallery, my friend ! 🫡

[wanderpawn]

(hsr update spoiler, feel free to answer after you finish the update)

so the new quest where tingyun splits into many versions of herself……how the osddid hsr community feelin

~chia

(I'm sorry I'm going to make this about Sunday again because AHSHFJFMDKDJDHDJDHHDHDJDHGHHFC)

I haven't watched the new update yet because I've been pretty busy this past week, but I have been on bird app a lot and it's been like Furina all over again 🥲🥲

I have this Collection of Screenshots I've saved that people have posted of Sunday's lines from the update and it actually brings tears to my eyes to look through them because it all sounds EXACTLY like what I've been living for my entire life..... like I showed family members some of the screenshots and they said it's legitimately like hoyo put me in their game

When you think about "the dream" as a metaphor for dissociation, and how Sunday's entire story could essentially be tied back to childhood trauma.... it was already pretty convincing, but then they had to go and add the different Sundays interacting ?!?!! Like is hoyo not just writing "Sunday has a dissociative disorder" on their foreheads at this point ?!?!??!?

*ahem.* Sorry. As you can see, my brain is full of many thoughts.

Hopefully I'll get a chance to actually sit down and watch it sometime this week.... I'm really looking forward to it 🥺

[wanderpawn]

You must give yourself more credit!

…i am suddenly realising that this is one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me and i’m sitting here like O-O but yay!!

now his lightcone. because we run him with dhil and qingque and damn they are skillpoint hungry af- (and also because our sunday introject really really wants the sig lightcone..)

~chia

Well it's true! You deserve more recognition for what you do for yourself! What we go through is so often demonized, but really, it's all to protect ourselves in the end.... I wish more people would realize that u_u

Hopefully some of my erratic good luck will rub off on you for that lightcone, haha !

[wanderpawn]

thank you for the blessings for sunday ^^ we kinda lost the 50/50 (everyone says it is not because of me but. ever since i revealed myself, we have lost every luck based thing TwT), but. there’s time.

since i made us lose, i will singlehandedly farm at least 40 pulls in the next week. (everyone is torn between “it wasn’t your fault!!” and “…is anyone else willing to farm 40 pulls in a week” lmao)

~chia

Ahaha, I know how that is :') I actually lost my 50/50 too, I had about 15 or 20 pulls (I am the world's most unserious player 😔), but after I lost, I kept going, and I got the boy on my very last single pull (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

I really hope you can get him too, my friend !!