#💉shitpost

[faefraud]

[tyrianludaship]

Whoever calls these two "sugar daddies" are missing the point. They're just the two lesbian aunts about to unleash the gifting upon you when they come over for christmas.

[xr0tt3nxfl3shx]

HAVENT GLUED THE MOUTH ON YET. GET TO MAKE HIM SAD [NOW WITH VINE BOOMS]

[estarion]

It's COCKtober 🍆🎃 u know what that means 👀👅 D**k sucking awareness month 😯🙆🏼👅 send this to 12 of ur closet hoes 👭😈 that love that d**k 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 THOT-O-WEEN 🎃is upon us !! If you get this message ✉️ you are queen 👸of the thots!!! Forward this to 7⃣ of the 🍆ThOtTiEsT🍆 thots 💁that you know will get some 👉👌 soon !!! If you don't, be prepared 🙍for 6⃣9⃣ days of bad luck ⚠️ 🍀 ‼️ATTENTION ‼️💀👻ALL HALLOWEEN 🎃🕸HOES 😚💅ITS TIME TO GET SPOOKY ☠️YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS👏GET 👊FISTED👊 BY A 💀SKELETON 💀SHOVE ✊🍭CANDY 🌽🌽CORN🍬IN YOUR 👉P***Y 😽AND 🙅DONT 🙅‍♂️FORGET 😩🙌TO SUCK SOME 💏DRACULA 💉D**K 🍆💦 SO PUT 🔛 YOUR 👗👑 COSTUMES AND GO 🚪DOOR TO DOOR🚪👀👅💦BEGGING FOR THAT 😍GOOD GOOD😍 SEND THIS TO TWELVE1️⃣2️⃣☠️SPOOKY 👻🍑SLUTS🌮 TO 👁SHOW 💁🏼THAT YOURE READY TO GET SOME 🍫CHOCOLATE🍫 COVERED🍆D**K🌽 BOO!! Sorry did I scare you?! WASSUP GURL😉😉😊 ITS COCKTOBER 😈🌚🍂🍃🍁 AND IF YOU👈🏽 ARE GETTING THIS👇🏽😘 IT MEANS UR A HALLOWEEN 👻🎃👻���🎃 👻🎃👻 HOE😏😩😩👅💦💦 every year in Cocktober the jack o slut🎃🎃🎃 comes to life🙀😻😻🙌🏽👏👏🙌🏽 coming to harvest 🍁🍂🍃 his hoes for THOT-O-WEEN😏😏💥💥🎈🎂🎉 send this to 15 other Halloween Hoes or else you a TRICK🎃👻👻 🎃 IF YOU GET 5 BACK UR A THOT-O-WEEN TREAT😋😋 IF YOU GET 10 BACK UR A SLUTTY WITCH BITCH👄😍✨🔮 BUT IF YOU GET 15 BACK UR THE SPOOKIES

　　　( not making a scene about it, not telling anyone, merely guiding her gently by the shoulders towards the nearest house of healing ... . . . )

[bbloodsucker]

a perverted goth from outer space? call that an alien sex fiend

[kolibrispacestation]

yknow what

i don’t like you

*un-cartoonifies your international space station*

[withoutalice]

consider: humanformers!Pharma as Tanner from Scrutinized 0_o

[purplequay]

vanny shitposts that i made 2 months ago

[neon-lights-stardust-nights]

I don't take criticism

[contact-guy]

helloooo this is a MASTER POST of my Sherlock Holmes annotations, aka shitpost doodles of my favorite parts with occasional headcanons. I will pin this so it's available and update it as I go because this feels like it's becoming a full series, god help me.

I'm reading the stories in the order they occurred (according to Baring-Gould, who I am currently arm wrestling in the astral plane over how many wives Watson had) so that's how I will present them!

EDIT: decided to draw them in the order that makes sense to me, Baring-Gould you’re too silly

EDIT 2: this is basically a webcomic at this point, with ongoing continuity and a romantic storyline that can be enjoyed if you read in order. I did not intend this, but I have Sherlock Holmes disease and there's only one cure (doing this)

EDIT 3: content warning/advertisement depending on your temperament: this series gets into one of my big interests, historical queerness, period accurate homophobia, and how laws around queerness affected lived experience. it also has things that you can expect from a Sherlock Holmes story like: drug use involving needles, violence, flagrant use of old timey guns, and people dying in shocking and mysterious ways!

Copies of Volume 1 can be pre-ordered here!

A Study in Scarlet 🩸

The Speckled Band 🐍

The Resident Patient 🩺

The Noble Bachelor 👰

The Second Stain 📮

The Reigate Squires 📝

The Dancing Men 👯‍♂️

Silver Blaze 🏇🏻

The Six Napoleons ⚫️

The Red Circle 🕯️🪟

The Greek Interpreter 🩹

Mycroft Interlude 🎩

The Beryl Coronet 🥪

The Yellow Face 🙂

The Hound of the Baskervilles 🐺

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

-Part Four

-Part Five

-Part Six

-Part Seven

The Gloria Scott ⚓️

The Valley of Fear 🏰

-Part One

-Part Two

Shoscombe Old Place 🎣

Charles Augustus Milverton 💌

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

-Part Four

-Part Five

The Copper Beeches ✂️

-Part One

-Part Two

The Sign of the Four 💉

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

-Part Four

-Part Five

-Illustration

-Part Six

-Part Seven

The Cardboard Box 📦👂🏻

Second Interlude 💒

A Scandal In Bohemia 💃

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

The Stockbrokers Clerk 🦷

The Engineer’s Thumb 👍🏻

The Crooked Man 🦝

The Naval Treaty 🌹

The Five Orange Pips 🍊

The Man With The Twisted Lip 🧽

-Part One

-Part Two

The Boscombe Valley Mystery 🪨

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

The Dying Detective 🦪

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

Christmas Eve, 1890 🎄

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

The Blue Carbuncle 🪿💎

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

-Part Four

[ferfbish]

well guys forget the weird finger nail eater theres a new king in town

i love the description of your pfp cus when ever you like something or comment i can also read it as the guy above you is the staple eater

Hellll yeah my evil curse

Fun Fact it's true as a child I ate an absurd amount of staples. Like a quantity that when my parents heard they were genuinely concerned how I didn't puncture my gut. I'd pull them out the walls and chew them flat and stab my gums and then swallow them whole. For fun and to play toys

Sometimes I still eat staples. The curse prolongs :3

[paninicupcakke]

(Suggestive/NSFW)

Medic shitpost special 💉

[tyrianludaship]

tfc heavy: damn bitch, you got terrible taste

[quotidian-oblivion]

✨Out of context lines shitpost Pt. 3✨

Part 1 | Part 2

Quo: Do you want to put the sparkles in the title like we did in- Nogolsta: Of course. We're not savages.

@mispeltnostalgia and Quo bring forth more shit.

Hello, y'all enjoy the chaos cause i know i do :) -Nogolsta

The batfam but as things we said in public and in class:

Tim: I cleaned my floor, I washed the dishes, I did my h.w, I was productive.

Jason: Damn. The motivation demon possessed you.

Tim: Yeah it did!

Jason: Meanwhile… meanwhile…

Tim: What did you do?

Jason: *softy* torture

Tim: I love that

*high five*

~

Dick: *Starts sinking in his chair sliding under the table*

Also Dick: *Struggles to get up. Almost dies*

~

Steph: look if it's wrong you can blame me. I’ll even give you a crochet hook to stab me

Jason: I’d rather kill you with words

Steph: So I'd get on OC and you would brutally murder them?

Jason: Well, I do have an OC called Steph. Well its Christopher but I can shorten it

Bruce: What are you talking about?

Jason: Murder.

Steph: Specifically mine.

~

Special extracts from Tim’s essay about funeral rites in Egypt:

(Please note these are some extracts from Nogolsta’s essay outline. We don’t question it.)

The brain getting removed via nose with a crochet hook and the rest of the brain goop getting washed out with 💉drugs💉.

The flank (above the hips and below the booby area) is then cut open to scoop out the entire abdomen.

The cavity is then washed with palm wine and then with a ✨spicy blend✨.

Then it's filled with nice smelling things: pure myrrh(dur), cassia (another variation of cinnamon) but no frankincense (they don’t want the dead waking up now do they? Or else it’s gonna cause another Jason Todd). Then they sew the body up.

Body is chucked in natron (godly salt) for 70 days. No longer, no shorter (just like Dick) (Or Damian).

After this, the body is washed and wrapped in linen for that mummy look we all know and love.

Middle class funerals got less care (shockingly).

The body is injected with cedar oil through the butthole and is then plugged up like the hair in the sink.

(Note: Bruce got a call from the teacher about Tim being submitted to counseling.)

~

Dick: *walking backwards* I will make you hydrate

Tim: No you won’t 

Dick: you don’t have a choi- *walks into bookshelf and knocks books off*

~

Babs: and we could just sit and read fanfiction. I’m open to any Fandom as long as no romance or smut. I’m not comfortable with that. But I'm open to anything else. Especially ✨torture✨

~

Damian: Did you burn the paper I told you to burn?

Steph: Yeah!

Damian: Do you still have the ashes?

Steph: What? No, I burnt it in the fireplace, I’m not scooping it out.

Damian: *sigh* a pity. I was hoping to put it in a jar and look at it every day, reminding me of my dreams.

~

Wally: Oh no! We haven't been unpredictable enough today! Quick! Say something shitty!

Dick: I didn't bring a sandwich because we ran out of bread at home so Alfred made me a salad but I don't want a salad, I want a ham, cheese and tomato toastie. I mean, I love a salad, but I want a toastie *starts sobbing*

Wally:

Wally: I have regrets.

~

Jason: JANDBHWISHEVWBAKKXNFBFJEJDHRUWIQPD DNDBDHUS RBSKWDIHRVE SNAOSUEB

Bruce: *crying* Please- I will get down on my knees. Please stop.

Jason: NNJsjeuewjjJQJS EBSIWOSUEHEHBWBD RJE sndjjdidiwiwje

Jason: You have to say the ones not in all-caps quieter.

Jason: jwjduruwhsbdjriwi aanwjeiisjd NSNWOWORIRBEBSJA

~

Jason:*whispers* i have a torture idea

Dick: *facepalms in disappointment*

~

Dick: Our father has become a pigeon!

Jason: What?

Dick: *swivels phone to show a snap from Tim of Bruce with a pigeon filter on*

~

4 yo Damian: *grabs onto someone's leg in a crowd*

Jason: "raises the foot holding Damian with disgust* what the fuck are you?

4 yo Damian: you're not my father

Jason: I sure hope not. I haven't got any fuckers like you running around.

4 yo Damian: If you were my dad, I’d be sad.

Jason: Let’s find your dad you little shit.

Note: Nogolsta as a child was precious and savage at the same time 

Part 4

[neon-lights-stardust-nights]

[blank]

Anyway I don't take criticism

[rustboxstarr]

Dating Eddie Munson: Your Instagram :)

Your insatgram if you had a shitpost account for your mates and posted stupid photos

Masterlist

Liked by DungeonMaster, Robbiebob 12 others

@Y/N.shitposts I think he’s incapable of sitting like a normal person…

DungeonMaster Perfectly normal 🖕

↳ Y/N.shitposts Its not you weirdo

SteveNotTheHair @DungeonMaster how’s that Adhd diagnosis going?

↳ DungeonMaster shut up

↳ Robbiebob I think he’s in denial

↳ Y/N.shitpost he is

Liked by DustinTheKing, WickedVickie 14 others

@Y/N.shitposts We got drunk and went to a playground haha

DustinTheKing Nothing out of the ordinary then?

↳ Y/N.shitposts Nope

DungeonMaster Still wondering why I wasnt invited

↳ Robbiebob We didnt want you there 💩

↳ Y/N.shitpost Girls night bitch!

Liked by NancyW, SteveNotTheHair and 17 others

Y/N.shitposts too good not to post 🥵

DungeonMaster now that’s hot but when tf did u take this??

DustinTheKing ew

↳ DungeonMaster not ew, hot, and you are not the king!

ChrissyCunningham there’s just something about men’s backs idk what?

GarethVader all those tattoos and not a single one on his back??

Liked by DustinTheKing, MyNameJeff and 9 others

Y/N.shitposts All he did was win at Mariokart, also who still plays Mariokart??

DustinTheKing Cool people play Mariokart!!

SteveNotTheHair SMH 🤦‍♀️

↳ DungeonMaster ummm excuse me, i beat your ass so hard

Liked by SteveNotTheHair, DungeonMaster 15 others

@Y/N.shitposts So edgy 💉

DungeonMaster Wanna be alt

↳ Y/N.shitposts Says u

SteveNotTheHair Is that Eddie on the left?

↳ Y/N.Shitposts Haha no thats Robin, Eddie took the pic, he was so bossy about it

↳ DungeonMaster just tryna live up to your standars babe

↳ Y/N.shitpost its literally blurry

Liked by DungeonMaster, MaxMayfield 21 others

@Y/N.shitposts Recent work for photoclass!! Thank you baby for being my model hehe

DungeonMaster How am I not beating girls off with a stick yet?

↳ Y/N.shitposts Cuz you're weird af, a total nerd and need I remind you, taken?

MaxMayfield Its actually surprisingly good

↳ Y/N.Shitposts Why thank you

Robbiebob Aww look at that smile, also awesome skills Y/N!

↳ Y/N.shitpost Cheers mate!

Liked by NancyW, Robbiebob 9 others

@Y/N.shitposts Robins idea dont blame me

DungeonMaster Spoiler alert!! they both crashed it into a wall

↳ Y/N.shitposts Its called drunk driving 🤌

↳ Robbiebob We are very responsible

↳ Robbiebob Also it was so wroth it

↳ Robbiebob Worth*

Liked by Lucas112, DungeonMaster and 16 others

@Y/N.shitposts Haha were so cool

DungeonMaster No shit we are

MyNameJeff Question is why youre cuffing each other up outside of Eddies pit for a bedroom

↳ Y/N.Shitposts Cuz the idiot just wanders off and forgets his phone with me so I cant take him anywhere without having him literally cuffed to me

↳ DungeonMaster My room is not a pit 🖕

↳ Y/N.Shitposts thats a lie

Robbiebob What concert?

↳ Y/N.shitpost Sum41!

↳ Robbiebob well now im jealous

↳ DungeonMaster suck it, like they did, they sucked

↳ Y/N.Shitposts They did not!! and hey i saw you having the time of your life in the moshpit so shut up

Liked by GarethVader, Robbiebob and 12 others

@Y/N.shitposts In reality i forced him to smile for this but were ignoring that fact

DungeonMaster Still not happy about it I look like a goof

↳ Y/N.Shitposts Aww but youre my goof x

↳ GarethVader Ew

↳ MaxMayfield So cute I wanna barf

↳ Y/N.Shitposts 😈😈😈

Robbiebob Least he smiled ??

↳ Y/N.shitpost Took 8 photos for it