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circusgoth-dotcom · 9 months ago

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Clownie's F/o List (*COMPLETE LIST*)

Here it is, the extended list and not just the notable characters you can view on my pinned post, with additional basic commentary. This is ever-growing as I consume new media because making self-inserts is one of my favourite pastimes. 🫶

Listed in the order I have their tags in in my personal track-keeping document.

Romantic F/os

Structure: [f/o name] [source] | [relationship status or type] [marriage or engagement date if applicable] | [tag] | [tier]

The Joker [DC Comics] | Married (12•04•21) | 🃏A Joker and His Ace🃏 | #1 Main f/o

Wade Wilson/Deadpool [MARVEL Comics] | Married (07•12•22) | 💣Bulletproof Boys💣 | Main f/o

Charles “Chucky” Lee Ray [Child’s Play franchise] | Married (03•19•20) | 🌈Foul-Mouthed Little Fucker🌈 | Main f/o

Betelgeuse [Beetlejuice] | Married (10•01•20) | 🪲Two Bugs in A Rug🪲 [🐞Two Bugs in A Rug🐞] | Main f/o

Jack Torrance [The Shining] | Married (12•31•22) | 🪓Darling - Light of My Life🪓 | Main f/o

Marcus Holloway & Wrench [Watch Dogs 2] | Dating | 💻Hacked into My Heart💻 | Tertiary f/os, haven't finished watching a play through of the game but I really love these characters

Daniel Robitaille/Candyman [Candyman] | Dating | 🐝Daniel is Orange🐝 | Tertiary f/o, I deeply love him but sometimes I get anxious about shipping with him

John Kramer [Saw franchise] | Married (08•17•23) | 🧩The Missing Pieces🧩 | Secondary f/o

Michael Myers [Halloween franchise] | Dating | 🔪The Night He Came Home🎃 | Secondary f/o, occasionally leaning tertiary

Billy Lenz [Black Christmas] | Dating | ☎️Waiting By The Phone☎️ | Tertiary f/o

V/Codename V [V for Vendetta] | Dating | 📺Love Is A Smoke and Is Made With The Fumes of Sighs🧨 | Tertiary f/o

Herbert West [Re-Animator] | Dating | 💚Love Is Nothing More Than a Chemical Scam (Will You Stay by My Side?)💚 | Tertiary f/o leaning secondary f/o depending on mood

Dr. Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus [Raimiverse Spider-Man trilogy] | Dating | 🐙6 Arms to Hold You Tight / Does That Make You an Insect???🐙 | He mainly shows up in an AU where I'm in a relationship with both Otto and Norman nowadays, tertiary f/o

Norman Osborn/Green Goblin [Raimiverse Spider-Man trilogy] | Divorced but Still Seeing Each Other | 💵Norman Osborn🎃 | Tertiary f/o leaning secondary f/o depending on mood

Anton Chigurh [No Country For Old Men] | Dating | 🐮Sugar Bully🐮 | Secondary f/o

Phillip J. Fry [Futurama] | Dating | 🚀I've Been To The Year 3000🍕 | Tertiary f/o

Bender Bending Rodriguez [Futurama] | Dating | 🤖If I Only Had A Heart🍺 | Tertiary f/o

William Afton [FNaF franchise] | Dating | 🐇My Funny Bunny🐇 | Limbo f/o, I don't really ship with this guy anymore but my headcanon version of him is a blorbo I don't know if I'll ever be able to shake, especially with Matthew Lillard now portraying his film counterpart. FNaF is also kind of just a limbo interest of mine, I care more about playing with the characters like paper dolls than paying any attention to canon lore, etc.

Sweeney Todd [Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street] | Married (08•19•21) | 💈I Will Learn to Love Again💈 | Secondary f/o

Cruella de Vil [Cruella] | Dating | 🏎️I Know Something About Love🏎️ | Tertiary f/o

Captain Jack Sparrow [PoTC franchise] | Dating | 🏴‍☠️Drunken Sailor & Bonny Lad🏴‍☠️ | Tertiary f/o leaning secondary f/o depending on mood

Jack Skellington [The Nightmare Before Christmas] | Dating | 💀King of Halloween🎃 | Secondary f/o, childhood comfort character

Oogie Boogie [The Nightmare Before Christmas] | Dating | 🐛Lovebug🐛 | Tertiary f/o

Willy Wonka [Charlie And The Chocolate Factory] | Married (02•24•24) | 🍫Sweetest Moments🍫 | Tertiary f/o

Scott Pilgrim & Ramona Flowers [Scott Pilgrim comics] | Dating | ❗Multiplayer❗ | Tertiary f/os

Dr. Hannibal Lecter [NBC's Hannibal] | Dating | 🍽️Ella et Porcus🍽️ | Tertiary f/o

Spamton G. Spamton [Deltarune] | Dating | 📞MORE PERSISTENT THAN A [Pop-up Ad]📉 | Tertiary f/o

Curtis Vaughn [Mississippi Grind] | Dating | ♠️Lucky In Love♥️ | Tertiary f/o

Eric Brooks/Blade [Blade trilogy] | Dating | 🗡️The Daywalker🩸 | Tertiary f/o

Beverly Sutphin [Serial Mom] | Dating | 👗PUSSYWILLOWS DOTTIE!🔪 | Tertiary f/o

Pickles Oblong [The Oblongs] | Dating | 🥒Pickles🥒 | Tertiary f/o

Tony Stark/Iron Man [MCU] | Married (03•10•23) | ⚙️Empire State of Mind⚙️ | Tertiary f/o

Thor Odinson [MCU] | Dating | ⛈️Riders on The Storm⛈️ | Tertiary f/o

Peter Quill [MCU] | Dating | 🪐All Shook Up🪐 | Tertiary f/o occasionally leaning secondary

Egon Spengler [Ghostbusters] | Married (08•25•24) | 👓Spengler Time With Me👓 | Tertiary f/o

Peter Venkman [Ghostbusters] | Married (08•25•24) | 👻You Talk a Lot of Shit (For Someone That Can’t Talk)👻 | Tertiary f/o

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader [Star Wars] | Dating | 🖤Courage Dear Heart🖤 | Tertiary f/o, the only thing I care about in Star Wars honestly

Hellboy [Hellboy 2004] | Dating | 👹And His Heart Was in Their Hands👹 | Tertiary f/o, used to be a pretty big secondary f/o...

Count Dracula [Dracula 1931] | Dating | 🧛Love as Torrid as Blood🧛 | Tertiary f/o, I mostly use Bela Lugosi's Dracula as a base but I do take inspiration and aesthetic choices from Coppola's Dracula as well, especially for my s/i and his backstory

The Medic [TF2] | Married (08•03•22) | 💉I Need A Doctor (Ohh!~)💉 | Secondary f/o

The Spy [TF2] | Married (01•22•22) | 🕵️‍♂️Mes Affections ne sont pas Un Masque🚬 | Secondary f/o leaning Tertiary f/o depending on mood

The Heavy [TF2] | Married (04•15•22) | 🥪Toll & Smol🥪 | Tertiary f/o

Ash Williams [Evil Dead franchise] | Dating | 🍂Good. Bad. He’s The Guy With My Heart.🍂 | Tertiary f/o

Dr. Jack Griffin/The Invisible Man [The Invisible Man (1933)] | Dating | 🤍An Invisible Heart Still Beats🤍 | Tertiary f/o

Severus Snape [Harry Potter franchise] | Married (date n/a) | ⛅He Saw a Glow in The Darkness⛅ | Tertiary f/o, in an ideal world we'd all pretend that Snape is my original character and has no relation to a certain disgustingly bigoted author, though I don't post about him much here because of that... huge comfort character to this day and the source of my obsession with all things Alan Rickman

Leslie Vernon [Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon] | Dating | 🍎Apple of My Eye🍎 | Tertiary f/o

The Janitor/"Nick" [Willy's Wonderland] | Dating | 🧽Cleanliness is Close to Sexiness🧽 | Tertiary f/o

Stitches the Clown [Stitches] | Dating | 🤡A Stitch in Time is Mine🤡 | Tertiary f/o, I haven't talked about him much since seeing the movie but I'm cursed to find all clowns (with exceptions), especially gross and/or scary clowns, attractive 🙈

Logan Howlett/Wolverine [X-Men franchise] | Dating | ❌Lend Me Your Flannel❌ | Tertiary f/o, another character who's source I'm only vaguely familiar with and I really just started shipping with him bc I though Hugh Jackman was hot in this role

Asgore [Undertale] | Dating | ✨Our Love is Magic✨ | Tertiary f/o, my second-longest lasting Undertale crush

Mettaton [Undertale] | Dating/Crush | 🤩🤖 | Tertiary f/o, forever locked in crush limbo and my longest lasting Undertale crush

The Doctor [Doctor Who] | Dating | 🌌The Eternal Playwrights🌌 | Tertiary f/o, I mainly ship with the 10th and 12th regenerations, another childhood comfort character

Norman Bates [Psycho] | Dating | 🦆Good Old-Fashioned Loverboy🦆 | Tertiary f/o

Pennywise [It 1990 miniseries] | Dating | 🎈Urban Legends🎈 | Tertiary f/o leaning Secondary f/o depending on mood

Ronald McDonald [McDonald's] | Dating | 🍟(Ba-da-ba-ba-ba~) I’m Lovin’ Him!🍟 | Tertiary f/o, I told you, all clowns, even mascots, and he may as well be my own character at this point since he hasn't been used in so long

#clownie's complete f/o list #page 1

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painted-piggy-ships-archive · 3 years ago

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Slice of Life

Betelgeuse x Hannibal Fawley

Word Count: 1520

Tag List: @heavenshipped @fangedwife @the-rocknroll-cryptid @cherry-bomb-ships

Summary: Slice of life in my domestic au! :o) Ft. fankids Altair, Crux, and Spider Lily

Warnings: Babies and pregnancy mention, empty ideation of suicide (in an annoyed context, idk how common the phrase “if such and such happens I’d shoot myself” is but I’ve heard it a few times before and decided it fit in this context), a somewhat rude principal, bug mentions.

REBLOGS > COMMENTS > LIKES - Thanks for reading!

The Fawley household was far from average. It consisted of Hannibal Fawley, otherwise known as Bill in less formal settings, his husband, a poltergeist known as Betelgeuse, and their three children; Spider Lily, the adopted, eldest, human daughter, age six, and Crux and Altair, half-geist twins, only a few months old at this time.

Hannibal’s income came from stories he wrote, and Betelgeuse worked as a “bio-exorcist,” an exterminator of the living, for the sanity of the dead. Spider Lily was of course attending elementary school, where Hannibal occasionally volunteered as well. It was never a dull moment in this family and they, mostly, happily made do.

Hannibal was washing dishes, his babes in a sling under his chest, fast asleep as he quietly worked, when his phone rang. He slipped it out of his pocket and quickly answered it, trying his best not to disturb the twins.

“Yello?”

“Hey, babes, it’s me. The shuttle’s clogged to the Netherworld and back, I might be a bit late getting home.” Betelgeuse’s pleasantly gravelly voice came through.

Hannibal sighed. He knew he couldn’t exactly control the times souls had to do their afterlife jobs, but tonight really wasn’t the best night to get stuck like this.

“Beej, we have a meeting with Spider’s principal tonight.”

“Shit, tonight??”

“I told you yesterday. And this morning.”

“How about I meet you at the school??”

“5:30. If you’re not there by 5:35 I guess I’m going in by myself.”

“C’mon, Hanni, don’t be like that, y’know I’d be there in two spits of a coroner’s flame if I could!” Betelgeuse paused. “... So the hell are we talking to her principal for again?”

Hannibal shrugged, shifting his phone to the opposite ear. “Not sure. Maybe it’s something to do with grades.”

“She’s in elementary school for JC’s sake, how the fuck are they going to grade coloured-pencil drawings???”

Hannibal glanced at the time. “I don’t know. If you can make it, you’ll find out, now I’ve got to go pick her up. I love you.” Hannibal made a pronounced kiss into the phone, to which Betelgeuse responded with the same.

“Love you, too, sweetcheeks.”

Hannibal hung up and quickly fed Crux and Altair so they wouldn’t get fussy on the car ride, before changing his shirt and setting out to pick up his daughter.

~~~

“Gods dammit, Beej,” Hannibal cursed to himself as he waited by his car with his daughter. He had left the twins home with a trusted sitter, and as his watch struck 5:35, Betelgeuse had not yet arrived. He took a breath, smoothed down his hair and clothes, then took his daughter’s hand and walked into the school.

“Ah, Mr. Fawley, I’m delighted you could make it,” Miss Calls, the principal of Spider Lily’s school, greeted and stood as Hannibal entered her office. He nodded and shook her hand.

“And I’m delighted I could find a sitter,” he joked, “should Spider be in for this?”

“If she would like to be.”

“No.” Spider Lily almost immediately stated. Hannibal smiled slightly and got down to her level.

“Alright. Do you want to wait in the main office? I saw some toys and books you can use to entertain yourself for now.”

Spider Lily nodded and Hannibal took her back out of Miss Calls’ office, before returning and taking a seat.

“Is your husband not joining us?”

“He’s just running a bit late is all-”

The door opened and Betelgeuse entered, having put on a human disguise that looked much like his regular self, but with a lively skin tone, a lack of mold and moss, and thicker hair. However, he still dressed like a suspicious cars salesman, and it took all of Hannibal’s willpower not to introduce his palm to his forehead in that moment.

“Sorry I’m late, horrible traffic,” Betelgeuse took Miss Calls’ hand and shook it much more enthusiastically compared to Hannibal.

“Ah, well, I’m just glad you’re here,” Miss Calls smiled as Betelgeuse took a seat beside his husband. “I don’t think I ever got your name…?”

“Beetle.”

“Beetle… Fawley?”

“My parents were… eccentrics, to say the least,” Betelgeuse chuckled as Hannibal regained his composure. Misses Calls nodded and reclaimed the seat behind her desk.

“Let us discuss why I’ve called you here… your daughter’s teachers are… concerned, about her.”

“Oh??”

“She’s very quiet in class, but she seems to like terrorizing other children on the playground with bugs and very strange stories…”

Betelgeuse chuckled again, knowing at least in part the bugs were probably his influence, but stopped when Hannibal cleared his throat.

“That sounds pretty harmless to me. I was a quiet kid, and I certainly had quite the imagination… who’s to say she’s any different?” Hannibal inquired. He was slightly annoyed they had been gathered for this of all things. Spider Lily had a tendency to be obvious when she was unhappy, and she hadn’t shown any of those signs recently.

“Her teachers are just concerned that she doesn’t really have any friends. They see her try, but there’s nobody she’s really connected with.”

“Not her fault. Maybe the little playground br-” Betelgeuse winced as Hannibal subtly and silently dug his heel into his husband’s foot as a warning. “I mean, maybe the little playground tykes ought to get to know her better before being so quick to judge.”

“I suppose you’re not incorrect.”

“So, what’s the plan? Her teachers are concerned, you called us here to talk, what do you propose we do for Spider so she has more opportunities to make friends? I don’t suppose elementary school has clubs.” Hannibal mused, wanting to cut this meeting short.

“We were thinking, and don’t take this the wrong way Mr. Fawley, you could help her with social skills? It’s clear that being around peers is not quite the right approach…”

Hannibal felt himself grow livid from the insinuation he wasn’t trying his absolute goddamn best to raise Spider Lily in the most safe, educational, and loving environment possible, considering the circumstances of her parents. Betelgeuse noticed the aggravated straightening of his husband’s spine and put a soothing hand on his knee. As much as he’d love to watch Hannibal chew the principal out for her careless words, he knew it wouldn’t help the situation much.

“Well, that’s a fine request, Mrs. Calls.” He spoke calmly with a dangerous undertone. “But don’t you think we’re trying our best at home? I don’t think there’s much we can do to help this situation, at least until Spider Lily finds somebody who likes creepy-crawlies as much as she does.”

Betelgeuse stood, taking Hannibal’s hand so he stood as well. “If Spider wasn’t happy, we’d know. And if we found out it was because of your or one of your employee’s negligence, you’d fuckin’ know, too.”

Betelgeuse’s snake eyes flickered through his disguise in his frustration, making the principal’s hair stand on end.

“Have a nice evening,” Hannibal spoke softer than his husband, tired. Betelgeuse led them out of the office, taking his daughter’s hand as well as they all went back to the car.

“Am I in trouble?” Spider Lily asked.

“No, of course not!” Betelgeuse and Hannibal said in near unison.

“Rollie-pollie, you’re not having any trouble making friends at school, right?” Hannibal asked over the back of his seat. Spider shook her head.

“Some of the boys help me look for bugs at recess. I don’t know many kids’ names, but some are nice to me.”

“Are any of ‘em mean?” Betelgeuse’s disguise melted away as he drove his family home.

“No… but they’re scared of me.”

“Well, so long as you’re not unhappy…”

“I’m not.”

Hannibal smiled. “Then you just make friends at your own pace, alright?”

“Okay.”

“Who wants ice cream before we get home?” Betelgeuse asked. Hannibal contemplated telling him no, it was a bit late for Spider to be having anything sweet, but instead he caved. They all deserved something sweet tonight, to take the edge off things.

~~~

When the trio got home and Spider Lily was set to bed, all Hannibal could do was strip down to his undershirt and boxers and bury himself in Betelgeuse’s side on their bed. He hadn’t undressed yet, but had his shirt unbuttoned and his tie undone.

“Tuckered out?” He growled lowly and sweetly to his partner.

“You have no idea. Gods, I hate the school board. If I have to mingle with another Susan, Debbie, or hell forbid Karen at another fucking bake sale I’ll shoot myself.”

Empty words. Betelgeuse smiled at Hannibal’s venting.

“You wouldn’t trade the kids to be rid of it, would you, though.”

Hannibal allowed himself a short chuckle. “‘Course not. Love them damn kids. The two I birthed myself, with my own manly hoo-ha, and the daughter we adopted because nobody else would.”

Betelgeuse coaxed Hannibal’s head out from under his arm and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“That’s the Bill I know.”

Hannibal dragged his fingers through Betelgeuse’s tangled hair, already much more relaxed compared to before. “I love you, Beej.”

“I love you, too, darlin’.”

#q'd #clownie writes #self shipping #self shipping community #self insert #s/i x f/o #self insert x canon #🐞Two Bugs in A Rug🐞

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