#🎸 . . ˚ . 〣 ✱ crack﹕ 𝚄𝙶𝙻𝚈 𝙿𝙴𝙾𝙿𝙻𝙴 ? 𝙼𝙰𝚃𝙷 ! … 𝙶𝙻𝙾𝙱𝙰𝙻 𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶?

[origiinis]

❝ shrimp dick AND a shitty haircut ? must suck to be you, fucko. but hey, here's a ' get well soon ' present made by THE big dick himself. ❞

[origiinis]

❝ you guys suck shit at making tier lists. step aside and let daddy'o show you how it's done. ❞

[origiinis]

no bitches?

❝ it's seven in the morning... ❞

❝ it's. seven. in. the. morning. ❞

[origiinis]

❝ brace for impact, losers. this shit doesn't stop til i hit 420. ❞

[origiinis]

the original grandpa :)

❝ ... ❞

❝ dude. YOU HAVE NO NUTS ! ❞

[origiinis]

@xluciifer ;; how big is your dick, for scientific purposes only

❝ dude WH-- ❞

❝ --fucking MASSIVE ? DUH ? bigger than your micro by a longshot. next caller. ❞

[origiinis]

❝ alright alright alright lets fuckin' go. time to get this party started. ❞

———he's dumping an entire wcdonalds sauce packet directly into his mouth...

[origiinis]

@xluciifer ;; BITES >:3

sigh. it has been 0 days since adam has been bit. he's running out of ways to explain the bite marks to the hoes. he is not mcloving it here.

[origiinis]

❝ bitches hate me cause they ain't me. ❞

[origiinis]

one pump chump ....

❝ ...YOU GUYS ARE JUST SOME FUCKIN' HATERS. ❞

[origiinis]

can you play the seinfield theme in low e on that guitar

❝ oh, can i ? i hope you brought a change of panties, roku. 'cuz i'm about to blow your fuckin' mind. check this shit. ❞

oh he's been waiting for this one. with a flick of his wrist he's able to use his holy light to conjur his prized possession, his beauty of a guitar, just to shred this song up on low. e.

❝ bowwwwww—BNOWRNOWRNOWRBNOWRBNOWR—nowr—nowr—nowrrrr. BOW. BNOW NOW NOW— ❞

some say he's still playing that dumbass theme song to this day——

[origiinis]

Bites arm. >:3 cat instinct kicked in

❝ OW ?! what the fu-- are you fucking kidding me ?! this shit again ?! ❞

❝ bambi, you better get your fucking DOG before this MUTT gets escorted to the RAINBOW BRIDGE ! ❞

[origiinis]

congrats on the massive dick, babe. hope 'ya use it to please a woman eventually. until then, 'ya got me ;)

❝ uh — ch'yeah. my dick is fucking massive ! finally, someone with some sense. ❞

❝ ...wait what the fu— ❞

[origiinis]

│╱ ﹫𝙿𝚁𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙵𝙴𝙻𝙻 ╲ │…—… XXX

❝ dude don't fuckin' JUDGE ME. you don't GET to judge me ! at least MY dick looks NORMAL ! your meat probably looks like a CORKSCREW or some shit. ❞

[origiinis]

"Pitiful." - Alastor (that's all he can say about adam busting a nut LMAO)

❝ motherfucker--

I WALKED, SO YOU COULD RUN ! YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME ! ❞

[origiinis]

@xluciifer ;; There's silence; he moved like the shadows and then, there he was: biting the nape of the neck from behind.

❝ FUCKINGSHITBALLSFUCKINGCU — ❞

and cue adam wildly flailing his arms trying to swipe at the figure behind him