#🍳🕯meta.

[exaltcdone]

new tag swag two

[exaltcdone]

oh yea lmfao that canon here it is. 

brighid is. not used to thinking of herself as hot. she sure as hell isn’t used to others thinking she’s hot. there are a lot of reasons for this, but the ones that impact her NonSexual Body Image the most are that older women are desexualised routinely ( which is something i think rabbit talked about on karen awhile back? ) and brighid herself was desexualised routinely, regardless of her age. 

what i mean by that is, older women just kind of . stop being thought of as Sexual Beings past like . 40ish. like. you look at a 30, at the absolute oldest, -year-old woman and those are the people you see writing for cosmopolitan and allure and shit, right? maybe ~Youthful~ forty-year-olds, but i will bet you any amount of money there’s nobody older than that that cosmo targets directly lmfao you get the idea. which is ageist and misogynist. and when people look at brighid, people tend to assume her sexless too. i know what else i have to say about this but i can’t put it into words for the life of me so i’m going to move on to the second point.

brighid herself was also desexualised routinely, even when she was ~Young and Hot~ or whateva because she is reclusive and a worrier. she would fret about her head if it wasn’t on her shoulders. so people just sort of . brushed off her potential Hotness because ‘who wants to date someone who worries that much lol?’ whenever the other gods gossiped about sex stuff brighid was not invited or even mentioned, and if she was, she was a punchline afterthought. she was laughed off like ‘brighid? everyone knows ~poor brighid~ doesn’t have SEX loooool she doesn’t even go outside. anyway i’m fwbs with this sidhe and’ u feel me?

[exaltcdone]

( preceded by. )

i think this also contributes to brighid’s tendency towards reclusiveness-- she has a vague idea of how the modern world works through what she’s already tried or knows how to do, but doesn’t know the intricacies and specifics of the world today. the key words here are ‘vague’ and ‘idea.’ she knows what a coffee-maker, a car, a refrigerator is, but doesn’t know how keurig machines, lyfts, and wine fridges work. it’s a bit like speaking a language just enough to get by but not so much that you can tell your life story or have a full conversation.

she has some leeway because people see her, largely, as an Older Woman Who Struggles With The Modern Technology like so many other older women, but only some leeway. like, that doesn’t mean people don’t ridicule or get frustrated with her when she doesn’t understand something, like in this meme response. 

people getting frustrated with brighid for not understanding the modern world motivates her to stay inside more because like . the frustration and ridicule from not understanding hurts so much.......because she experiences it so infrequently for never leaving her house. if that makes sense. ghfhgfhjdjfhg basically its a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 brighid stays inside all the time because she’s a Fuckening homebody, so she doesn’t get as much exposure to the modern world as she should to completely understand it. → people get frustrated with her for not understanding the modern world. → brighid stays inside more because the frustration from other people hurts so much because its magnified for experiencing it so infrequently. rinse and repeat.

[exaltcdone]

OH on an unrelated meta note, i’ve found that a lot of brighid’s ever-present anxiety comes from being the goddess of things in high dimensions physically-- high reaching flames, highlands, hill-forts etc. this also means elevated psychologically / mentally: wisdom, excellence, perfection. 

the tangible high dimensions are fine, but the psychological ones? um . Hoo. being the goddess of perfection and excellence put( s ) a lot of strain on brighid to be Perfect and Excellent herself, and anything less or other was . definitely not received very well by the rest of her pantheon and even some of her worshipers in certain cases. if she couldn’t help them with whatever it is they prayed to her for, some would get really upset and even Disown her religiously altogether. ( those situations were rare, but still painful. ) 

brighid is quite hard on herself and i think she edges on being a perfectionist inwardly, because she’s good with every other thing she presides over: she’s a great cook, she can knit a sweater in three days, she loves kids and animals, so to not be good at everything, or most things, is confusing and disheartening. i think she has a tendency to self-isolate and even have one foot out the door in relationships because of the fear she’ll never be the Perfect Girlfriend. she knows it’s unrealistic, but she doesn’t know how to stop. 

[exaltcdone]

so earlier on this blog i said brighid was a stone femme, or ‘pillow princess.’

 in laypersons terms, this means brighid is exclusively ‘submissive’ and does not reciprocate sexually. it’s a preference bordering on a Hard Rule, but it’s not arbitrary-- brighid is a fundamentally submissive person in her waking life, so in order for sex to be pleasurable for her, she needs to be pretty much completely submissive sexually as well. she doesn’t want to do, and actively rejects, anything she perceives as dominant, be it behaviour or otherwise. it would make her feel humiliated and really uncomfortable in her own body because that isn’t who she is. so, she would be super uncomfortable and even dysphoric if she were asked to be dominant sexually, and although i think reciprocation could be doable on her end if, if, she were eased into it, she would never ever be 100% comfortable with it and would basically always have one foot out the door and ready to dissociate / Remove Herself mentally from the situation to cope. 

also, even the idea that brighid ‘’’’’doesn’t reciprocate,’’’’’ with a negative inflection, suggests that there’s nothing to be said about letting another person complete access to her body completely as an expression of sexual desire and, on a deeper level, trust. to brighid, by being exclusively submissive, lying back and letting her partner touch her and whatnot, is the Pinnacle of expressing desire for her. she’s showing you that she loves you by being exclusively submissive because it’s what she knows best. she’s also showing you her trust-- that she trusts you not to hurt her and be gentle with her body by allowing you full access to it. so even though her partner might not get Direct Sexual Pleasure through reciprocation, the implication is that they’ll get it through being the active partner to brighid. ( which is what a lot of stone femmes get out of their stone femmeing. )

i think this also translates in what she wants from a relationship. when brighid pictures dating, she pictures her partner taking control, for the most part. not quite in a Make Decisions For Her sort of way, but she pictures her partner....i don’t know. approaching her. flirting with her. even subtly taking control, like holding the door open for her, etc. taking the initiative, i suppose, is what im trying to say. i think she wants a sort of Breadwinner, for lack of a better term, to her.....Artsy Housewife. she’s a domestic goddess, after all-- wouldn’t that make her the Ultimate Homemaker? 

[exaltcdone]

brighid is extremely vulnerable to being taken advantage of. for one thing, she’s not very threatening-- when most people think ‘hearth goddess’ menacing is generally not what comes to their mind, and brighid, although a worrywart, sensitive to criticism and independent, is a pretty mild-mannered, sweet-tempered gal. she is a Live and Let Live person who is slow to anger, and does not like to judge people for their behaviour or choices. which is a double-edged sword because she’s a goddess. gods forgive. she gives people chances when they mess up. 

she also has anxiety that’s fairly easy to trigger if you know her well, so she runs the risk of people triggering it when they did something bad to distract from the main point of them doing something wrong. they could also trigger brighid’s anxiety in order to pressure her into forgiving them if she doesn’t as readily or to get out of atoning for their mistake.

now that inherently isn’t a bad thing, but it is a bad thing in brighid’s choice because she’s almost too forgiving. she’s too nice. she runs the risk of enabling bad behaviour, not being able to leave a bad relationship because ‘oh they made a mistake! people make mistakes i forgive them they’ll come round.’ bad people don’t always come round, and the bad people that like people like brighid like her because she enables them. because they can use her. because they know she’ll always be waiting with her hot meals and handmade blankets for them. it’s not so much as she takes the blame herself-- she doesn’t do that unless she’s truly messed up in her own right ( or someone tells her she did, ) it’s that she forgives very easily. 

[exaltcdone]

multiples of 4 !!!

⇏ hardmode character development meme △ @pekkt △ accepting!

4. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

ljdhjdfhgfjhg lint probably this is a hard one. brighid is probably more of a Bag Woman rather than a pocket one ie she has a bag that she carries with her everywhere. probably one she made herself. she comes from a time that used bags or sacks to hold stuff more than pockets. anyway inside that bag is probably…..i want to say a travel tea mug in either solid red or a cutesy pattern, like this tsum tsum one. she would also have a water bottle ( Stay Hydrated™, ) aspirin, otc stomach meds, lots of Grandma Candy like cinnamon disks and cinnamon mentos, lip balm, knitting needles ( esp circular ones ) / a crochet hook and a half-used ball of yarn and probably small Extraneous Knitting Stuff like a stitch counter, stitch markers and notions. So Many Notions. also definitely multiple loose bags of tea, especially of the spiced / cinnamon variety.

8. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

not really. i think it’s different in the terms of the way the status appears, obejectively rather than what it actually is. for example, modern brighid is probably more upper-middle class / comfortable whereas in ancient celtic ireland she probably would have been seen as rich, because she was a goddess who could do whatever she wanted. and wealth in celtic ireland was more ‘I Have More Cows Than You And I Am Wearing Eight ( 8 ) Gold Torcs On My Neck Right Now Currently, Fuck With Me’ rather than ‘i have a sweet ass electric car and my house is paid for.’

12. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

not at all. being a healing goddess means that blood is Nothing On Her. plus i really really feel like modern brighid is ( or was, she probably could get away with retiring at this point ) some sort of medic, and it . would not serve a medic well to be squicked out by blood. 

16. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

i don’t really think young brighid….played with toys as a Young Divine. for openers, she grew up ( presumably ) alongside the other children of the dagda Up In The Heavens or wherever. she’s a very hands-on person, so i think her sort of play was more Fake Doctor or Fake Mom. she was definitely more of the Wander Off and Talk To The Cows type overall though.

20. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

i think brighid would probably blame herself. she’s very used to taking responsibility as a mom and a healer and overall being….responsible in her correspondences and such. if a hearth goes up in flames while you’re tending to it, there’s nobody to blame but you.

24. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

pretty slow. usually because of what i just said in the above bullet, but also because brighid is very much a Live and Let Live person and is reluctant to judge anyone for their behaviour or choices. she will probably ask you offhandedly and persist once, twice if she’s very worried, and then leave the subject be and forget. ( ex. ‘hey did you move my yarn? / ‘no i thought you had it.’ / ‘are you sure?’ / ‘yea i’ve been at work.’ / ‘but you’ve been home for an hour now.’ / ‘nope.’ / ‘¯\_( :-/ )_/¯ all right!’ )

28. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

i don’t think brighid really . dreamt of becoming anything as a kid? i think she was raised alongside what she would be doing as an adult and Embraced It. 

32. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

brighid hates criticism. she may respond well to kindly phrased commentary and be like ‘oh all right! i’ll keep that in mind’ or whateva and see it as another perspective to help push whatever she’s doing in new directions. but if you’re less nice about it, brighid will probably get defencive and possibly even lose her temper if you keep at it. i think she goes thru all three: she’s probably immediately self-deprecating, because brighid’s first instinct in almost any situation is to look inward, and then she will React by getting defencive, usually inwardly, because she’s hurt, and then go away from the situation like ‘yea :-// i guess they were right i need to improve at ____.’

36. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

probably defending her honour in the sense of defending her moral codes and her own Core Values. 

40. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

i think she feels as though she needs to earn it, because of the time period she comes from. but some of that has shifted because of her impulse-shopping problem. i don’t know i think i have to come back to this one, brighid is still new. 

44. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

i don’t know that she’s considered that possibility? brighid is a goddess and i think gods can die, in the sense of losing worshipers, but i don’t think any of them Literally Die in the sense of Perish Physically and Cease To Exist. so .

[exaltcdone]

brighid is hopeless at flirting. both at picking up when it happens to her, and flirting herself. She Cannot Flirt She’s Too Shy. i think she’s Somehow Worse than brynhild here– brynhild at least tries to flirt, even if she fails miserably. brynhild also has the advantage of blending in with The Youthes because she looks like one. 

younger people tend to be Bolder in the romance department from being Younge and Invincible Youths and ~Hot-Blooded~ Blah Icarus Comparison Goes Here, etc etc ; so they have less to lose, or don’t think about losing at all. so they’re ( or, we, ) are more likely to take risks and act on impulses because, historically, we’re more shortsighted than adults.

conersely, brighid looks about sixty five-ish, and . i literally cannot visualise a single person over about forty, forty-five, at the absolute eldest who flirts with people. that may be The Autism talking, as are most of my ( mis )conceptions of [ allistic ] interpersonal communications, but. there you go. and even if adults do flirt, let alone two women flirting with each other, it tends to be less On The Nose than young people flirting, thus leading to communication misfires and dropped connections. young-adult flirting is like ‘hey ;) wanna play twenty questions ;) oh your favourite colour is green? lets bang ;),’ and adult flirting ‘hey ;) do you own property ;) oh you do? i just ditched my wife of fourteen years lets go out and get a dirty martini sometime ;) talk about fiscal responsibility ;).’

 if adult flirting is that subtle, and two women flirting, historically, is also that subtle, if not more ( matching with a gal on HER and talking about how you’re both vegetarians and then ghosting each other forever wassup Lesbian Sheep Problem, ) you can pretty much imagine how infuriatingly hesitant and subtle two older women flirting is. this means that brighid has very little experience with flirting in general and the experience she did have probably fizzled out and she never heard from those women again. what’s more, gauging flirting between women is incredibly difficult to begin with except when you’re in w / w spaces ( sometimes even then ) and even harder when you’re about Over It flirting-wise because you’re 63 and the Wild Incandescence Of Your Youth In The 80s are No More. 

flirting stresses brighid out, most of the time, because of all that i just listed, but also because her dating pool is very very small. i touch on this all the time, but most older lesbians, imle ( In My Lesbian Experience ) are usually partnered already. and like. not ‘partnered’ as in just ‘Seeing Someone ;) for a few months and we’ll probably break up in the spring’ but. Partnered partnered. as in ‘married’ / ‘Committed to one another in a civil union or otherwise’ / ‘we live together, we’ve been living together, we have our cars alongside one another in one garage and we have a joint bank account for our vacation to cape cod every summer.’ which. great for them, brighid and i wish them all the happiness, love and longevity in the world, but . this leaves brighid with three options: wait for one of them to be single again ( not very likely, ) resign herself to being alone forever ( very likely ) or date a little younger. ( likely-ish but would make her uncomfortable for lack of shared experiences and other factors. ) 

this doesn’t mean you can’t flirt with brighid at all– please do, but this does mean that if you want to flirt with her or do flirt with her, it might go unnoticed unless you’re really forward. which is probably your best bet, because Cute Flustered Brighid.