#🍊 ↝ Stede Bonnet

[petrifiedcrange]

This is the captain's chair!

Stede doesn't mind at all when Israel makes himself at home in his quarters, especially when he sits at his desk, going over inventory or some other paperwork.

On the contrary, he thinks it suits him, the captain's desk, the captain's quarters, the captain's position... Stede loves being the captain, don't get him wrong, but the more he watches Israel work - takes the time to actually pay attention to what he's doing instead of being annoyed at his very presence like he used to what feels like in a different life - and interact with the crew, the more he thinks that out of every pirate he ever met, Israel is the one who was born to be the captain. He knows what he's doing, he cares deeply about the crew, he can handle stressful situations and keep his head cool under most dire circumstances...

Not so long ago Stede got the idea that if he ever considers retirement, he would most likely leave the position of Revenge's captain to Israel - in that case he would know that the ship and the crew he loves so much are in good hands, the best of hands.

But now that he's thinking about it, he's got another proposal he hopes Israel will at least consider.

Coming up behind his first mate for now, Stede settles his hands on Israel's shoulders and leans forward as if to better see the papers laid out in front of him, but his gaze quickly shifts from them to Israel's face, and he leans in to place a soft kiss on his cheek, then a short but sweet one on his lips before he can even think about it.

Pulling away with a soft, slightly dazed look on his face and a gentle smile, he takes a deep breath and pops the question:

❝ Israel, have you ever considered becoming a captain? ❞

A moment of hesitation, then softly, eyes falling back from the other's face to the papers, as if suddenly very interested in them, but his eyes don't move - he's not reading,

❝ Or, maybe... a co-captain? ❞

[ OPEN for Izzy, established Stizzy/Gentlehands ]

[ineffablepenguin]

A cake tribute to the scariest pirate of them all: the Brigand of Barbados, the cream of the Caribbean, the gentleman pirate himself 🏴‍☠️🎩

(I don’t know why the video shows up here so darn bright)

🍊 Orange flavored, of course!

With all 100% edible sugar decorations.

Because someone has to strike a pose and bear the weight of well-tailored clothes (and that is why the Lord created Stede Bonnet).

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

250+ blackbonnet fic recs, part 1

friends, come forward to receive the fruits of my hyperfixation. under a read more to spare the uninterested a mile of post, and so i can update this as i continue to hyperfixate.

update: the hypefixation broke link limit! i’ve split this into two posts so it can continue growing.

contents of part one, below

s1 fix-its

multichapter canonverse

oneshot canonverse (smutty)

contents of part two

oneshot canonverse (smutless)

AUs

rpf

🍊 marks my favorites

s1 fix-its:

Hell or High Water by Mottlemoth 149k WIP E 🍊 🍊 🍊

For a year now, Stede Bonnet has pursued the legendary pirate Blackbeard across the sea. Desperate for a chance to put things right, Stede will stop at nothing to catch up with the Revenge and its new captain.

But who will he encounter on Ocracoke Island: the man he loves, or a monster?

Half agony, half hope by lyricl 34k E 🍊

The first letter appeared only a few weeks after Stede left him alone on that beach. Ed burnt the first, and the second, and the third. But they kept coming.

Or: how Edward Teach gained a pen pal, lost a first mate, reunited with an old friend, and learned something about seagulls.

the knife and the throat by darcylindbergh 35k WIP E 🍊

Blackbeard hadn’t been lying when he’d said he didn’t feel fear. Fear was about having something to lose, and Blackbeard always wins.

Aftercare by perkynurples 132k WIP E 🍊

In the aftermath of some life-altering decisions on both sides, Edward and Stede navigate reuniting, learning what it is that they really want and how to ask for it, as well as surviving in a world that is nowhere near ready to just let them rest. Or, finding their way back to each other is only the very beginning.

we were warnings by mia_ugly 13k E

Stede comes back.

Ed does too. It just takes a little longer.

on the bed of this blue ocean by kirkaut 9.6k T

Ed’s made up his mind: if he ever lays eyes on Stede fucking Bonnet again, he’s a dead man.

Ed’s had six months of Stedeless-ness, and six months of thinking about all the terrible things he’d do to him when they saw each other again.

Somehow, it never occurred to him to think that they’d never have the chance.

[Or: Ed hears about Stede's 'death' and promptly falls apart.]

Take Me With You (When You Go) by SleepsWithCoyotes 11k T

The guard posted on their barracks gives Ed a weird look as he sneaks back in that night, almost like he wants to bolt.  It’s not entirely unexpected–though the rest of these idiots may think he’s tamed, this one has sound cause to think differently–but the back of his neck prickles a warning at that look of terror all the same.

There isn’t much he needs to collect, and he’d packed most of it up before leaving to acquire a dinghy.  No sense being weighed down with obvious proof he means to escape.  Stede’s bunk is already empty, of course, the man himself led off by the guard outside half an hour before, but this is Stede.  Best if Ed checks for himself to be sure he didn’t leave behind anything important.

Like his stockings.  And his shoes.   And every fucking thing else save the piss-poor clothes the quartermaster gave him.  What the entire fuck?

A Gentleman's Guide To Love And Piracy by laiqualaurelote 4.3k WIP T

Stede Bonnet's agenda for attending the International Piracy Convention: rebrand, make some industry contacts, steal back his ship without being murdered by the keynote speaker, a.k.a. the vengeful love of his life.

i won’t be falling on my knees to beg you by Hymn 8.8k E (+ sequel)

“You made your choice,” Edward insists. “You don’t get to unmake it, Stede. What’s done is done, don’t you know?”

“Ah. I learned that lesson rather recently, yes,” Stede says, very softly.

The expression on his face isn’t fair, Ed thinks. It hurts to look at, all soft and yearning and difficult to resist. The kind of look that makes him angry because of how it also makes him weak. Ed clears his throat, twitches again. Locks his knees tight and clamps his jaw shut, glaring at Stede. The ship keeps sinking beneath them.

“What I also learned,” Stede murmurs, shifting his weight forward. His empty hand comes up, palm open and reaching. “Is that I can be brave. I can be stubborn. I can fight for the life that I want so very, very badly, Edward Teach.”

Ed’s mouth dries. “Y-yeah? And what’s that?”

Stede smiles crookedly. “You.”

i’m yours, you know by ShowMeAHero 9k T

“I think I’ve fucked up,” Stede confesses.

“Yeah,” Lucius tells him, “but don’t take it too hard. I might’ve fucked up, too, if somebody dragged me out of bed to tell me I’d ruined their family, and my own, and destroyed the love of my life’s entire legacy, and then, like— blew their own whole fucking head off. Like, that— I get that, Cap’n. That makes sense.”

Stede nods, keeping his eyes forward. After a beat, he can’t maintain the calm, and he needs the human connection, turning back to look at Lucius. He actually spills over, then, eyes burning.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Lucius comments, but Stede is already carefully standing up so he can bend and hug Lucius without capsizing their vessel.

heartless by Nanashi07 4.8k T 🍊

Izzy scoffs.  “He just doesn’t learn, does he?  Tell him Blackbeard has no use for apologies.”

“Yeah,” Edward says.  “That’s true.  I don’t.  But also, unrelated to that other thing, what else did he say about me?”

Frenchie blinks.  “Um.  Nothing?  The message came tied to a seagull’s leg so.  You know.  Not much real estate on those little papers.  Can’t write a lot, can you?”  He straightens suddenly.  “Oh, I still have it!”

He fishes a crumpled, wind-dampened piece of paper from his pocket and drops it into Edward’s hand.  When Edward unfurls it, he sees only a series of poorly-drawn images: The Revenge with a little triangle sail, a rope ladder and an arrow, a caricature of Stede looking like he’s crying.

“We really need to teach you guys how to read,” Edward notes.

i don’t know anything (but i know i miss you) by ShowMeAHero 7k

“What the hell’s happened to you?” Stede demands. It’s his voice, in his body, and he almost seems living, and it’s— It has to be the last thing Ed ever sees. He has to die with him burned on the insides of his eyelids.

Stede’s eyes are tracking over him, rising up to meet his eyes, locking with him. It feels so real. He can’t help the hysterical laugh that comes up and out of him, impossibly grateful for this last delusion.

Without hesitating, he lurches forward, grabbing Stede and yanking him into his arms. Stede makes a confused noise of protest, briefly, but it fades instantly and his arms come up, too, wrapping around Ed without hesitation. He doesn’t smell the same; instead, he’s all salt and sweat and sun, baked into his skin. Ed buries his face in his hair, fingers clawing at the impossibly real feel of him, the hallucination made solid in his arms.

“Thank fuck,” Ed says into his hair, voice breaking. “I didn’t want to die without seeing you one last time.”

a mile of clean sand by Dialects_and_Costumes 3.8k E

It's an accident when Stede finds Ed again.

remissionem by eldritchIdeologist 7.5k G

"Swear it." Ed's voice is a low gravel-growl, heavy with emotion. Stede swallows. Nods. "Swear it to me, Stede."

He doesn't need to ask what it is.

"I swear, Ed," he says, quick-hushed between them, his hands finding their way to Ed's neck, silk against his jaw. Anchoring him there. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying. I'll stay. There is nothing I want more."

"Again." A press against his forehead, Stede's eyes screwing shut.

"I swear it. On anything you want me to, Ed, on my life, I swear it."

Silence in the brig. Ed and his breath coming heavy through his nose, Stede and his breath near-stopped, in waiting. In some desperate, debilitating hope, that he can grab onto this only thing he covets and hold onto it forever.

"...Okay," says Ed after an eternity, quiet as anything. “Okay.”

Message in a Marmalade Jar by stitchy 11k T

I don’t know who will find this, if anybody. Who would even understand it, as Captain Bonnet is long gone?

The crew of the Revenge find a message in a marmalade jar.

Our "Get-Along" Desert Island by Avelera 10k T

Stede and Ed "Blackbeard" Teach have been fighting ever since Stede got back to sea, which would be fine and not totally unexpected after the "breakup", except their fighting now involves full-blown naval battles and their respective crews are thoroughly sick of it.

Naturally, the only solution is to maroon the two of them on a desert island until they work it out or kill each other. Whichever comes first.

He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven by AuntieClimactic 14.5k E

“Here we go again,” he heard Lucius scream over Izzy’s furious cursing.

50 Ways to Kill Your Lover by trinityofone 2.3k E

In his quest to get himself free, Ed begins a list of ways to do away with Stede:

 1. Stabbing

 2. Harder stabbing

It gets much worse, and then much better, from there.

only got one life by louciferish 4.6k T

Blackbeard pops the cork from the bottle with his thumb and takes a swig, letting the fire of the rum course through his chest, his veins, and keeps his eyes fixed on the horizon. The salt water breeze carries a hint of lavender.

C’mon, then, he thinks, smiling out at the sparkling sea. Chase me.

Stede writes love letters in smoke, blood, and wreckage. That's a language Blackbeard is fluent in, but that doesn't mean he's going to make it easy.

you should be so happy now by waveridden 7.6k T

In a way, Mary supposes she’s lucky that it only takes one day for the pirates to attack her ship.

(Blackbeard takes a hostage, Mary takes some risks, and Stede takes everyone by surprise.)

Important Bits by perkynurples 3.2k M

The first ship they raid, her crew see the amended flag, incorrectly identify it as a lookalike and thus let Blackbeard approach with little more than open curiosity - far too late do they see him standing on the deck, just him and the smoke and the roaring, hungry gleam of fire at his fingertips.  

The second ship even goes so far as to fire at them first, some young upstart of a  barely-pirate captain or other, and Blackbeard takes special pleasure in sinking that one, the Kraken unleashed, wood splintering and entire lives disappearing down the depths.  

The news spread fairly fast after that.

Or, there's Blackbeard, and then there's the Kraken. There's very little in between.

Entirely Onboard by twoseas 4.8k T

Stede and his brigade of imbeciles row back to the Revenge. Ed doesn’t want to hear what Stede has to say. He doesn’t!

He does.

Featuring Ed and Stede as the pirate equivalent of the couple that loudly airs their personal business while one of them is on the ground floor and the other is at a second story window, the crew being The Crew, and dramatic reactions to earnest declarations.

i'll walk through walls into your heart by Hymn 3.8k T

“So like. Can I talk about emotions now, or are you still trying to do that repressed, macho man thing and act like leather and grease on your face is an actual coping mechanism?”

Ed flings his knife into the door of the auxiliary closet where Lucius hides.

cotton, silk, linen, velvet  by captainbonny 5.4k M

It’s all gone.

Everything but the auxiliary wardrobe.

Two Graves by trinityofone 1.3k M (note: not really a fixit; features an angsty but beautiful ending)

Stede had once nurtured fantasies, not then fully understood, of dressing Ed again in his clothes.

things to never give the devil by Fahye 15k T 🍊

"Dark Fate?" says Stede, making sure to pronounce the capitals.

"Very effective for star-crossed lovers. And at a bargain price, if I do say so myself. A potent mixture of unspeakably rare ingredients, brewed under a new moon, which will drag you through the depths of your own soul in search of difficult truths, and leave the undeserving to drift forever in a dreamscape of torment and emotional agony!"

"What?" says Stede. "No! That sounds awful!"

fear not the weather by dotsayers 7.5k T

The moon shone through the tree canopy, a break in the clouds as rain continued to pour.

A footprint, rust-red against the earth, gleamed.

“Stede, mate,” he said, as he looked up and saw the line of prints disappearing into the trees. “What the absolute fuck.”

(A rainstorm stops Ed from leaving.)

Always and Forever by stereobone 9.8k E

"There's something you should know," Spanish Jackie says. "You're married."

Ed freezes.

"I beg your pardon," Stede says helpfully. "But I'm not your 19th husband."

"No, you idiots. You're married to each other."

habituation by chinxe 4k T

It takes Ed an embarrassingly long time to realise he's being romanced.

If you love someone by Yuu_chi  13.7k T 🍊

Edward's already lost him once. He won't make the same mistake again.

Blackbeard takes a prisoner. Or he would, if Stede would only act like one.

Magnolia by Fyre 5.2k E

Blackbeard crouched down in front of him, that stupid bright sunshine face still the fucking same, eyes wide and round, as if he had no idea of the monster in front of him. As if he had nothing to be fucking afraid of. Stupid fucking idiot. He brought up his knife, the tip of it pressing under the bastard’s chin, tipping his head up.

To Be Alone With You by Springandastorm 5.5k M

The first time Stede touches Ed again, he feels a bit like he’s been scalded. He has Stede pinned against the wooden railing of the ship, his knife to his throat, but Stede doesn’t look scared, just blinks at him with wide, apologetic eyes and says “I missed you.” Ed feels himself soften despite himself, the burning coals in his gaze shifting, almost going out, and that’s all it takes for Stede to smile, to lift a hand to his cheek. “There he is.” He says, an echo of Izzy’s words that cuts far deeper than it did when he said it.

Break down, it's alright by rowenablade 3.2k E

“Give me a reason not to carve your heart out,” Ed whispers.

And Stede can’t think of one.

He can think of plenty of reasons he doesn’t want his heart carved out, but how could he expect any of them to matter to Ed?

“Stede.” Ed’s voice breaks, dragging Stede’s eyes back up from where they’ve been staring at the floor in shame. “Please.”

There'll Be Nobody Home by soft_october 4.4k T

“Hey. You're Lucius, right?” The voice sighed. “Someone else sound this charming?” “Lucius, you’re dead.” “Yeah. Yeah, I am dead. No thanks to you.” “I pushed you off the boat.” “Mmm - I was there. I know.” “Was there any pain?”

Drunk and lonely and hiding in the auxiliary closet, Blackbeard has begun hearing voices. Well, a voice. He entertains it. Even tells it about some of the feelings he's been going through. What's the harm?

And after all, he's got no one else to talk to.

and let the souls wander by one_more_page 4.3k T

In the gold of the single candle Edward looked near divine.

Stede set to work. It was easier than thinking about what was happening. Because if he thought too much about what was happening his lungs were going to swell with that heat that had been building ever since he returned.

If he thought about it too much he would realize this was the closest he’d come to worship in ages.

—

OR

Stede washes Ed’s hair.

Semaphore by komodobits 39k WIP E

Talking things through as a crew is easier said than done, and honest communication has never really been Stede’s strong suit. When it comes to Ed, he is willing to try.

False Dichotomies by BigTed 4.1k E

It’d be simple, wouldn’t it, to put everything he doesn’t like about Ed in a little box marked ‘Blackbeard’ and insist he throw it overboard like so many books? 

shades of blue and gray by ThirtySixSaveFiles 1.7k T

Ed and Stede get locked in a closet. Twice.

be still my foolish heart, don’t ruin this on me by Hymn 3.3k T

“I should have run away with you,” Stede says once, the two of them up in the crow’s nest sharing breakfast.

haunt me, then by hyruling 28k E

He releases the ropes slowly, barely registering the burn as they slip through his fingers. Then, fallible as Orpheus, turns to meet his ghost.

Buttercup by mia_ugly 13.8k E 🍊

The thing is, when you’re Blackbeard you’ve got kind of a reputation to uphold. When you captain a ship, when you lead a crew, when people look up to you, tell stories, build a legend – parts of that legend are always more accurate than others.

And maybe you just let it slide, some of the things people say. Some of the things they assume. Maybe you swagger around and wear black leather and are a handsy bastard and let the stories tell themselves.

Maybe you don't want to talk about it.

night shift by foxtails 6.5k M

The man gripping on to Ed’s arm like a lifeline has wind matted hair, a rough jaw, and fingernails blackened with dirt. He’s no longer the same person Ed laid on a dock and waited an entire night for.

He doesn’t know whether to laugh, or cry.

or: Stede and his crew return to the Revenge. Ed isn't quite ready to deal with that.

all you left me was a pearl by JustStandingHere 32k WIP M 🍊

Stede takes in a deep breath and smiles. “Ed, I–” he says, but that’s as far as he gets before Ed’s pulling the gun out of its holster.

He aims, and Stede manages to yelp and duck just in the nick of time. The wood behind him splinters. “Fucking hell!” he yells, and springs back up into standing position. He takes a second to mourn the scarred wood before turning to Ed. “I know I cocked things up, but there’s no need to be dramatic!”

1717. The Golden Age of Piracy. Stede Bonnet sets about wooing the love of his life through any means necessary. Things do not go as planned.

All I Am Is Holding Breath by smallestchurch 7.3k E

“Edward. I didn’t leave because you kissed me. I came back because you kissed me.  And I’m hoping you’ll do it again.”

stories we’ve heard, and others we tell ourselves by CrypticSymbol 14.8k T

“One calling card and you come running, is that it?” Izzy had asked, disgust oozing from his voice. Ed noted a hint of disappointment too. He just couldn’t help himself from doing so, it seemed. The renewed adoration that bled out of Izzy just months before had been cauterized.

And it had been more than one calling card, to be fair. Though there was no point in arguing semantics with Izzy Hands.

The previous mysterious parcels had been trinkets and gifts left waiting for him to find, like the least challenging treasure hunt in the history of piracy, but this last one was different.

or, Jeff the Accountant is invited to a masquerade ball, and sometimes it's easier to talk things through when you're Jeff and he's Godfrey Thornrose.

The Blackest Water, the Better Mirror by triedunture 13k E 🍊

Ed isn't sleeping well.

Or: an excuse to have many long naps in the (formerly) great cabin.

COLDBLOODED by Macremae 7.4k M  🍊

 STEDE: What was that?

 BEAT.

 ED: What?

 STEDE: Where did you just go?

 ED: (less grounded) What?

 STEDE: You just… went somewhere.

This is a love story. Just not the kind he's used to.

How Edward Got His Groove Back by MadHatter13 43k WIP M

‘Oh shit,’ says the ghost standing by the cabin’s desk, frantically shoving the food Blackbeard had let grow cold on the plate into his mouth. His voice is a bit muffled, because he’s chewing on a piece of slightly stale bread like a hamster. He tries to say something like, ‘You’re supposed to be fucking dead,’ but all he can mumble out, inebriated as he is, is ‘Wzzsdghlkjd?’ - Or, Blackbeard dove head-first into the wrong genre. Let's see if Ed can't find his way back to Comedy.

Above Board by chaya 29k WIP E 🍊

The first time, they don't even have sex.

Stede has just come aboard with Oluwande and the others. Lucius pops out from somewhere, looking haggard but firm, and close behind him is Jim, so that's nearly everyone accounted for.

And peering around the bare light of the deck... the strangest thing to Stede is that Izzy doesn't seem to look once toward the captain's quarters. Neither do his two cronies. Somehow they know that in spite of the initial shouting and stern voices before peace was settled, the captain is not going to make a showing.

Kiss With A Fist by suchgreatheights 16.9k E

Ed knows a fuckery when he hears about one. No death that ridiculous could have been a coincidence.

He leaves Stede a trail of breadcrumbs to get back to The Revenge. When Stede arrives back on board, Ed is surprised to find Stede has a bone to pick with him--and that Ed's got bones of his own to pick with Stede.

love does not compel, no, it converts me by lie_to_me 9.5k E (rape/noncon trigger warning)

Now, naked and intricately bound to the mast, he tries to ignore the way fear quickens his heartbeat. Clearly Ed is angry. This is a game, he tells himself, some kind of fuckery. He can still show Ed his remorse, explain his feelings and his cowardice, and Ed will, eventually, understand.

Ed is, after all, a kind man.

But the man he loves approaches him with a leer, and Stede sees only cruelty in his eyes.

--

Or: Stede goes to find Ed, but first he meets the Kraken. Eventually, he gets through to Ed and they reconcile.

weather the storm by one_more_page 10k E  🍊

Ed runs, Stede follows. Ed stabs Stede, Stede comes back. They duel, they fight, they talk, no matter the encounter Ed wakes the next day with Stede's ship just on the horizon.

He’s being haunted by Stede Bonnet.

—

OR

Ed wakes up on the day Stede comes back over and over and over again.

multichapter canonverse:

Wayfaring by Justkeeptrekkin 34k E 🍊

The downside to being stuck on a desert island is that Stede's not awfully good at adapting. The upside is that he and Ed can finally have some peace and quiet– that is, if Ed ever wakes up from the gunshot wound in his stomach.

Stranded in the middle of who-knows-where, Stede learns the art of reflection and how to embrace the man who looks back.

domestic by Ark 33k E 🍊

Stede finds the house. When he comes back to their room at the inn, he won’t rest—won’t let Ed rest—until Ed’s seen it. His eyes are bright in that way that makes Ed’s guts feel scooped out with a spoon. So Ed hurries into his boots and goes with him.

The once-white paint is stripped by weather and wear, a portion of the roof is caved in, and the spokes of the wraparound porch are all gnawed through by animals.

Ed gazes up at the broken windows and the birds that have built nests there. At his side, Stede is waiting, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“It’s perfect,” says Ed.

to carry home inside me by ShowMeAHero 14k T 🍊

In the Last Year, 1718, the Seas Witnessed the Deaths of Two of the Worst Menaces to Sail. The Pirates Edward Teach, commonly Known as Blackbeard, and Stede Bonnet, also the Gentleman Pirate, once Captained Together before the ultimate Capture of Bonnet in October. By November, the dread Blackbeard was Killed in Battle; not a Month after, the Gentleman Pirate was Hanged for his Crimes at Charles Town. His Majesty the King ends this Curse of Piracy by Sending these Devils back to Hell.

Or not.

Blackheart by angelsunaware 36k WIP E

Blackbeard has decided it is time for him to take a wife, but he finds something else instead.

Chiaroscuro by MenaceAnon 19k WIP T

The Widow Mary Bonnet has a life, and Stede Bonnet isn't part of it. They agreed. There was a leopard and everything.

Then again, Stede has a talent for disrupting plans—for instance, by turning up on your doorstep in the dead of night with a bleeding pirate who turns out to be his beloved Ed.

kissing is what lovers do (and we're not lovers) by afterism 22k E

A vaguely canon-compliant friends-with-benefits scenario where they've been having sex since episode five but still don't kiss until episode nine, because they're both idiots who don't talk it through as a crew.

a very good bad thing by seularen 14k E

“Unhand him,” Stede said. “Or what?” “Good point. I can’t say ‘or bleed.’ You’re going to do that already.”

(prompt fill for the OFMD kink meme: "you know ‘Unhand me or bleed” knife!Stede? I want to see that guy coming to Ed’s rescue when he’s in peril. Bonus points if he takes bloody vengeance or needs to be talked down from it.”)

First, we steal a priest by Elisahni 15k WIP M

“I just want it to be said, by someone,” said Lucius, “that grave robbing is very 1500s.”

“We’re not digging one up,” said Ed, “I’m not that barbaric! We’ll want a live one. We’re going to steal a priest from a church.”

“Ed,” said Stede, scandalised. “That’s kidnapping!”

“I guess it is. Okay, we’re going on a treasure hunt to kidnap a priest. That’s the plan.”

though quaking, though crazy by ShowMeAHero 17k M

Stede knows from experience, from a sword piercing his side for far too long, how it feels when your skin starts trying to heal around a blade, when you know you’re going to have to tear it open again, when its only crime was just wanting to save you.

And maybe Stede isn’t some nightmare pirate, and maybe he’s not the vision that Blackbeard inspires, and maybe he’s not scary. Maybe he’s not made of smoke, with glowing eyes; maybe he’s not a hero, or a villain, or anyone but some poor shit who thinks he knows what he’s doing when nobody really ever knows.

But he knows two things: he knows that he will kill for Ed; and he knows that this man knows that, too.

Tomorrow, Certainly by Anonymous_Ostrich 11.5k WIP M

Stede opened the door with enough gusto that it struck the wall with an urgent thud. Ed - who was busy pilfering through the drawers and cabinets of a large cedar desk - glanced up in mild alarm, like he was expecting bad news. Stede sucked in a deep breath through his nose.

“Ed,” he began with all the authority and courage he could muster, “I’d like to do sex, ah, things, with - with you.” Perhaps that could have been a fair bit more eloquent, but alas.

the lovers, the dreamers, and me by ShowMeAHero 63k E

Stede spreads his hands in front of him, and Louis and Alma both grin up at him. “Do you remember the stories I used to tell you about those fearsome pirates who lived out at sea? And, remember how I told you I went on adventures with Blackbeard? Well—”

“Mom already told us you married Blackbeard,” Alma cuts him off, taking— Well, taking the wind right out of his sails, as it were.

“Alma,” Mary hisses at her. “Don’t interrupt y—”

“No, no, that’s fine, it’s— It’s fine, really,” Stede says. “I was— I was, admittedly, a little excited to tell you, but— That’s fine, honestly, we—”

“No, no, do it anyway,” Mary encourages him.

or: louis, alma, mary, and doug spend four days and three nights aboard the revenge, stede's families become one, and his entire heart combusts in the process.

Hello, My Old Heart by LadyKyrin 26k WIP M

In the span of a single second, or maybe even just a half-second, three things happened:

A gun went off.

Ed’s blade sliced deep into Chauncey’s throat.

And Stede screamed Ed’s name.

~

Ed comes looking for Stede when he doesn't show up at the dock. When Chauncey shoots Ed, Stede has no choice but to take him to the one place where there's actually a chance they might not be immediately killed or captured: the house he once shared with Mary, Alma, and Louis.

Working Vacation by MenaceAnon 2.1k WIP T

Captain Richard Bryce is going to make a name for himself as a pirate.

His plan? Kidnap the Gentleman Pirate, and use him to get close enough to assassinate Blackbeard.

And so Richard and his crew steal the pretty beardless fellow wearing a fussy banyan straight out of Blackbeard’s bed.

(Ed has never been an honest-to-god damsel in distress before. He’s going to go ahead and consider this a vacation.)

Come Here, Dressed in Black Now by jessclare 13k E  

“I never thought I’d end up being the woman in bed,” Stede says suddenly.

Stede has issues to work through.

An Even Trade by BewareTheIdes15 30k E 🍊

It’s “doesn’t mean a thing,” that gets Ed into trouble. Because, turns out, it means a fucking a lot.

Crossing the Meridian by stitchy 40k E

“Would you like me to pick you up anything special for the crossing?” Stede checks.

“Oh, I dunno. You know what I like,” Ed grins.

Me, it’s me, it’s me! Stede’s heart rejoices. He can’t go wrong with such wind beneath his wings.

“I’ll have to see if I can find a treat for when you get bored at sea,” he tells Ed. “Something to keep you occupied.”

-

Quite simply, Stede and Ed "romance" their way across an ocean.

Stuff of Kings by wordaddiction 13k WIP M

“Your name. I thought you might tell me your name.”

Brown eyes flicker between Stede’s, and he thinks it might have worked, stall though it may be, until the man’s mouth curls.

“Nah. Think I like you this way. Something I know that you don’t - guess books aren't everything.” He smiles, truly smiles, and Stede might think him handsome if he weren’t pushing a knife to his throat. Well. Maybe even then.

________________________

or: Ed boards the docked Revenge, expecting to find it empty and ready for raiding. It is decidedly not.

Shoals of Gold by blacksaltseas 15k E

And so, they lay above the moon-soaked sea and looked towards the heavens.

The time passed like honey, slow and sweet.

-

Two co-captains navigate falling in love on the high seas. There’s not much else to do when the wind stops blowing.

Healing Trauma with the Power of Gay Love! by                    the_bedheaded_league (giantflyingskelesnurtle) 13k E

Stede doesn't like sex. At least, he thinks he doesn't, because he's never had sex with someone he's actually attracted to before. Ed very patiently teaches him that sex can actually be enjoyable. There is crying. Bon apetit.

he's never gonna make it by muadnait 32k WIP M

Stede would admit to reading a book or two about pirates, but no literature could have prepared him for an actual face to face encounter with said people.

__

Stede Bonnet, wealthy landowner, held hostage by pirates.

Penetrative Gays by Fyre 13k E

“You’re coming with me.” “What? Why?” “Because I stabbed you!” Stede exclaimed, stooping to pull Ed’s arm more securely over his shoulder. “I can’t just… leave you. You have a hole through you!” 

-

The poor bastard was still pinned to the mast like a nail in a board and gave Ed a weak little wave, his face shiny and pale. “Lucius has gone to get someone to get me down,” he said, as if he didn’t have a fucking sword sticking out his chest. 

keep us together by novaeangliae 63k WIP T 🍊

A young Stede's desire for adventure is fuelled when he meets Ed, a boy from the docks who appreciates Stede for his true nature. Only their upbringings come with a ceaseless pressure to conform, and the two must navigate growing up in different worlds. Even with the difficulties posed by their lifestyles, it still comes as a surprise when their paths cross again upon the deck of a Spanish warship.

They always find their way back to each other.

What Wound Did Ever Heal But By Degrees? by poading 15k M

The first time is quick. Ed has been thinking about it for weeks, kissing Stede Bonnet. It is the sort of thing he wants to do right. Though Stede’s never mentioned it in any of their lessons, Ed is certain there is a right way to go about kissing a gentleman. He must wait for the right time, the right place.

But when he finally does it, Ed doesn’t think at all. He is only instinct and hope tangled in a moment where breath is forgotten and the future seems possible.

OR: Five times Ed kisses Stede and one time Stede kisses Ed

oneshot canonverse (smutty):

Bit of a Clothes Horse by Aivelin, Fyre 9k E 🍊

Stede tossed down the invitation card on the couch. “On the contrary!” He scrambled to his feet. “You’re not wearing anything that beastly man owned. You deserve something far better, especially for your first time out. If we’re going to a party, you’re getting all the luxury you deserve.”

when you love it by mia_ugly 5.7k E

Stede’s being kissed before the door fully clicks shut behind him.

Close Quarters by FortinbrasFTW 4.2k E

“The fuck?” Ed manages, instantly getting his foot stuck in a nearby bucket.

“Sh-shh!” Stede pushes two fingers against his lips to shut him up.

Ed goes still and a bit cross-eyed, staring down at the hand on his mouth. Stede moves it away, with a mouthed “sorry!” focusing intently on the sounds outside the shed instead.

In the alley, hurried steps and shouting voices rush past; they catch fragments of: “Where the fuck did they go then?” or “Keep looking!” and even “The short one looks like a bloody birthday cake, how do you lose that—”

in the emerald green by darcylindbergh 3k E 🍊

And Stede likes Ed, here and now, with the fresh smell of the wind and the salt in his hair, stripped down to nothing but an emerald green banyan and the ink in his skin, climbing back into the bed.

we've only just begun by ShowMeAHero 22k E

“Happy anniversary,” Ed tells him. He’s got a smile, but he still seems nervous, and Stede absolutely cannot have that.

and let your hair hang down by Ark 3.1k E

Stede exhales, warm breath stirring Ed's hair. "Again?"

"Stede," says Ed, "I'd sit on your cock all day for a chair and captain the ship like that if the option was available."

in the dark and blue by focusfixated 3.7k E

“What’s this?” Ed says, and tilts the mug towards his eyeline. He’s been doing a good job, so far, of looking everywhere except at Stede.

“Tea in its natural state,” Stede says. “You don’t have to drink it. I didn’t really ask you here for tea.”

Ed hunches like a child, but his hair and stubble is grey as a silverfish. He sounds as bitter as the tea when he says, “What did you really ask me here for, then?”

Or: After Stede comes back to Edward, they both look for forgiveness, and relief.

so good for him by leaveanote 3.7k E

Ed still isn’t used to being vulnerable. But Stede’s praise unlocks a part of him he didn’t know he had.

And fuck, it feels good.

Starcharts by triedunture 8.7k E 🍊

“Do you think I could help in some way?” he asks.

Ed glances at him. “Like how?”

“I don’t know. You seemed to enjoy our little gag of trading places that one time.” Stede shrugs a shoulder. He’s wearing his pink satin waistcoat and matching breeches, no overcoat—too fucking humid tonight. Ed can see the shape of his arm through the thin linen of his shirt. “What if you pretend you’re the one who isn’t in charge, and I can pretend I’m the one who is. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?” 

Under your skin, over the moon by por_queeee 7.7k E

“You’ve never been anything but–perfectly considerate, my love,” Stede manages weakly, staring straight up at the ceiling, flexing a hand in Ed’s hair. Ed can be impatient in bed, erratic, firm and greedy in his touches, but he’s always asked Stede from the first– Is this ok? Like this? Is it good? Am I hurting you?  

“You’ve never hurt me, or…” His cheeks pinken slightly, “Well, beyond what I imagine is the normal amount of soreness the day after, of course, but…”  

Ed grunts, and scrapes his teeth over the bone of Stede’s jaw in a way that makes him gasp and brings him right back to himself. Ed seems to freeze at the noise, fingers digging shakily into Stede’s hip. “But what if I wanted to?”

the taste of you by jaskiers 5k E

The first time they fall into bed together doesn’t go quite the way Stede had imagined it would.

Rough Winds Do Shake by HeckinaHandbasket 4.1k E

He returned with the book, tapping it on Ed’s leg as he reclaimed his seat in the chair. “I’ve always been rather partial to a sonnet, myself. Though they’ve often left me feeling somewhat melancholy.”

They’d often left him filled with longing, left him feeling empty, and strange, as if he were missing something vital to the human experience. He loved them, still. Pain was the price of beauty, after all.

Stede glanced up at Ed, smiling at the effortlessly lovely picture he made, backlit by a dozen candles. “Although, I wonder, now, if it might be different.”

Ed shifted on the arm of the chair, throwing his own arm over Stede’s shoulders to peer at the book. “Different, how?”

Without thinking, Stede bumped his forehead against Ed’s shoulder, joyful honesty bubbling out of him like seafoam. “Well, with you, of course. Everything is different with you.”

A deep, thoughtful line appeared between Ed’s brows as he examined Stede’s face. “Is it?”

Dance Me to the End of Love by stereobone 3.7k E

“I should teach you the waltz,” Stede says. “After all, if you’re going to know the ways of the aristocracy, you should at least have that under your cap.”

“The waltz?” Ed says. “Like a…like fucking dancing?”

“Exactly like fucking dancing,” Stede says. 

a laughing matter by mxwicked (SpacemanSpiff7) 6.4k E 🍊

Stede’s never laughed during sex before. Hell, he’s barely even smiled. So when Edward can’t stop giggling during their first time, he’s not really sure what to think.

good game by captainbonny 3.4k E 🍊

in which Ed is (probably canonically!!) sleeping on Stede’s couch, and late night sleepover antics ensue. 

Still Waters by Phoenix_Soar 5.4k E

Did people kiss like this? This often? Oh of course they must, not everyone shared his own stilted experiences with intimacy...

Canon-divergent ending to Episode 9 — in which Stede discovers just how touch-starved he's been, while Ed takes full advantage of his first chance to be gentle with someone.

The Biblical Sense by Fyre 2.5k E

“Wh-what’s this?” Stede managed in a strangled croak.

Ed’s eyes creased around the edges. Smiling. One could always tell by them, even if his beard and moustache and everything else hid his mouth. “I know you’re a bit new to the whole… seaman thing,” he said with that rumble of amusement in his voice, “but I thought even you’d recognise a come on when you saw one.”

every morning the world by treescape 1.1k E

“Now there’s nothing to put the marmalade on,” Stede sighs. He stares morosely at the jar that Ed’s holding in one hand, and then lifts his gaze to Ed’s face.

Ed raises both eyebrows in response. “Oh, well, I wouldn’t go that far,” he protests, hefting the jar thoughtfully for a moment. The movement makes Stede’s favourite robe shift a little where it drapes over Ed’s shoulders, revealing another inch of chest.

Or, breakfast in bed doesn't go exactly as planned, but that's okay.

Trick by Desdemon 4.2k E

Stede teaches Ed how to play piquet.

peccadilloes by Badgerette 2.1k T

”Then, what kind of passions do you enjoy in private? Don’t tell me there’s some erotic scribblings hidden in that insane collection of kindling?”

A beat, within which Stede takes a sip of his remaining port.

”You’ve got some fucking raunchy books up there, haven’t you?”

I will own my lover's heart and soul by songlin 2.7k T

Edward Teach considers himself a connoisseur of captors. Without a doubt, Stede Bonnet is his favorite.

spattered colours of ecstatic light by thesoulundone 2.8k E

It's Stede's turn to stare incredulously at him. Ed notices, somewhere in the back of his brain, that he refrains from being smug about it. "You mean you don't-"

"Of course not," Ed breaks in, awkward. "It's - immoral."

"You're a pirate," Stede says, pointed.

"Yeah, but that's different," Ed says, surly.

Silk Touch by NaroMoreau 2.5k E

After a pillaging, Stede finds Ed wearing a dress and shows him exactly how much he appreciates the sight.

Practice Makes Perfect by cracktheglasses (cormallen) 4.3k E

“Lucius said I could practice on a banana, only we haven’t got any on board,” Stede says, and the words take a moment to coalesce into meaning. Ed blinks, shakes his head — a banana, for fuck’s sake, he’s jealous of a banana, get it together, old man — reaches over, and plucks the book from Stede’s grasp.  

“Relax. Forget — practice. Forget the book. I’ll talk you through it. When have I ever taught you badly?”

built for luxury by emmett 9.2k E

"Congrats," Ed says, once Stede lowers the mirror. "You've just successfully tied up your first person like a proper pirate. Didn't even take you that long."

"Yes, well," Stede says, blushing a little at the praise and moving to start untying the ropes, "I had an awfully good teacher. Very patient with me."

In which Ed shows Stede the ropes, if you know what I mean.

For a Scoundrel is a Wanted Man by stitchy 4.1k E 🍊

“Well!” Stede smiles and sets down his glass for now, so he can give Ed’s cheek an appreciative rub. “It’s nice to be nice, isn’t it?”

Ed rolls his eyes, but leans into the contact. “Yeah, but don't tell anyone I said so.” He covers Stede’s hand with his own, fingering the lace upon it. “I do have a reputation.”

“I won’t, I won’t! If you don’t tell anyone what a scoundrel I can be,” Stede chuckles.

“You, a scoundrel?” Ed smirks. “You'll have to remind me why, Stede. You haven’t done anything bastardly all day.“

Evening Light by entanglednow 1.9k M

In which there is a commotion, a rousing speech, and a full length nightgown.

Yes, And by triedunture 4.2k E

“And who are we tonight, my darling?” Stede asks once he gets Ed up against the sturdy wall of the auxiliary closet.

“Reckon you’re quite the fearsome pirate,” Ed says into the kiss, “and I’m a fancy lord of fuck-all who’s at your mercy.”

“Oooh, I do like that one.”

----

Ed and Stede try to stick to the script but they keep getting distracted.

You kissed me just to kiss me, not to make me cry by makesometime 3.7k E

“Ed?”

He’s getting distracted. It’s probably a defence or something, against worrying that he’s laying himself bare to someone who might just go and fuck it all up again and leave him, more heartbroken than before.

“Yeah.” He smiles. “I’m here.”

'Cause if I love you (then I love you too much) by rowenablade 2.3k E

They’ve been sleeping together for three weeks, and Stede is hopelessly smitten with everything Ed does. He loves the way Ed sighs when he kicks his boots off and the way he can peel an orange with one hand and the way his hair gets in Stede’s mouth about a third of the time when they’re kissing. He’s amazed he hasn’t run the ship aground again, so hard it is to tear his eyes away from this wonder of a man.

the hung man by LogicalBookThief 4.9k M

"This is fucking Blackbeard we’re talking about, man. Maker of widows. Scourge of the seven seas." For not the first time, Black Pete regards him like an idiot. "What did you expect he'd be packing in his pants?"

we came untarnished by propinquitous 5.7k E

Edward finds that clothing can still leave you feeling naked.

The Dread Pirate Bonnet Shows No Mercy (Lord Jeff Doesn't Want Any, Thanks) by Dracothelizard 8k E

Ed throws the book on the floor in front of Stede. “What if I want to be ravished for a change? Ever think of that?”

Stede stares up at him, mouth open, then closes it, then he frowns in thought.

“That’s what I thought,” Ed mutters, shoulders sagging as he drops into one of the chairs.

Despite knowing the man behind the reputation, Stede still wants Blackbeard. Everyone does.

“I’m a pirate captain,” Stede says, picking the book from the floor and brushing some dirt from the cover.

“And?”

Stede smiles at him, cheeks still flushed. “I think that means I’m allowed to ravish you.”

You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) by zemph147 4.7k E

Set after some vaguely-defined season two events where Stede proves his love to Ed, and they return together to The Revenge to finally get some time alone.

I just want them to be together, and in love, and having truly spectacular sex, so here we go.

Tonight, Tonight by samwise 8.2k E

Ed wakes Stede in the middle of the night, and Stede comes to the door in a translucent robe. Ed.exe has stopped working.

all of me is a prayer in perfect piety by princesapollobollo 5.1k E

"I've never really—" Stede pants, leaning back a bit from where Ed is pressing kisses to his mouth, hot and dazzling. "Well, I have, but not—"

"With a man?" Ed asks, looking up at him, and there's no judgment or mocking in his eyes, only a faint curiosity underneath all the intensity.

"With someone I was in love with," Stede says, curling a hand over Ed's cheek.

“Oh,” Ed says, even now still looking like Stede is showing him the wonders of the world every time he says that word. “Well, in that case I don’t have that much experience either.”

this kind of love has to be a verb by illimerence 2.9k E

More than anything else, Ed can’t understand why Stede came back. 

A Pirate's Reputation by chamyl 4.9k E 

After getting back together, Stede and Ed are having a perfectly lovely time co-captaining their ship and becoming more and more intimate. Until the day Stede discovers that, against all his assumptions, Ed has never had sex before, and begins to wonder why.

grand pianos clash together by audenrain 4.3k E

“And you aim to correct that, do you? You’re going to show me the ropes?” Stede says. It’s a funny thing, the atmosphere aboard a pirate ship. In many ways it’s done exactly what years of bullying and abuse never could: taught him to stand up for himself a little better, given him some rudimentary skill with a sword, and most importantly, given him a taste of how it feels to rise to a challenge. He feels that static charge in the air, now, for all that Ed’s body language is relaxed.

Ed is smiling, a little, behind the crystal edge of his glass. “I don’t think we should get ropes involved on your first time round,” he says.

As You Like It by kindofwriter 2.7k E 

Stede asks Ed what he likes, and Ed realises he's never really thought about it before. However he does find out Stede has thought about it A LOT.

tell me i'm what your hands were made for by apocryphalia 2.9k E

Ed is still wearing Stede’s cravat.

Sometimes, when they’re in bed, he peels back the leather surrounding it but leaves that little piece of silk in its place, a reminder of how far they've already come in their few short weeks together. Sometimes, he watches the black cloth sway against tan skin, against the scars darkening its surface and the faded ink beneath, in time with the rhythm of their bodies. Other times, he tosses it aside, the better to worship that skin.

This time, Stede has another idea.

Rum and Linen by scarrletmoon 5.5k E

Usually when Ed gets drunk, he crashes on the couch. This time, he doesn't.

be known in its aching by foxtails 4.6k E

Stede manages to be everywhere at once; his mouth pressed to the bird on Ed’s shoulder, his toes tracing the tattoo curving up his calf muscle, his fingers wrapped loosely around Ed’s wrist.

“I should quite like you immortalised in a portrait,” Stede murmurs against his skin. “Not Blackbeard, not the Dread Pyrate. You, Edward. Every inch of you, laid out beautifully like this.”

or: Edward Teach deserves nice things. Thankfully, that's where Stede comes in.

all that ever mattered was you by anthonyjcrowiey 2k E

Sometimes sex goes wrong, but that doesn't mean it has to be bad.

AKA: the one where Ed and Stede are getting old and they are absolutely feeling their age.

Sneak by whiskywrites 2k E

“Your helmsman is taking orders from a goddamn seagull, Stede,” Ed said. “And we are at his birdy mercy.”

you don't need to wonder by spelling__bee 4.6k E 🍊

It’s the only time he’s ever taken orders in his adult life, because with Stede they don’t feel like control or threats - they feel like love. He can always say no. Stede would stop the moment he asks. But knowing that, and asking for it anyway, settling in where he can trust Stede to call the shots for both of them? Well. Ed can’t think too much about it because he’ll get all misty and shit, but it’s strong stuff.

all day long (on the chaise longue) by attheborder 3.5k E

Adventures in interior design. 

Cabin Pressure by entanglednow 6.3k E 🍊

Contrary to Stede's insistence there was not enough space for two in the bed, not unless they wanted to get very close indeed.

Fancy by Aivelin, Fyre 7k E 🍊

When a Spanish prize yields a treasure trove of exquisite clothing, Stede can't resist the urge to indulge Ed's fondness for a fine fabric.

Of night and light and the half light by leupagus 2.1k M

What if for Reasons, they need someone to pretend to be a woman, and so the obvious choice is Stede (look, Jim just isn't very convincing) (Stede played the heroine three years running in the school play, of course he knows his way around a skirt) And Ed is very interested in this look. Very interested.

only the light moves by ThirtySixSaveFiles 2.3k E

Stede and Ed, and the slow morning after. Stede still has some things to say, and he’ll keep saying them until Ed can hear him.

Waiting on the Lightning by smallestchurch 8k E

They're co-captains now, sure, that's great and good, but... why is it making Stede so nervous?

this is a home we just don't have a door by newtkelly 7k E

“I just don’t get why Lucius would even propose such a thing.” He finishes tugging his nightgown over his head and sighs, slipping under the covers to join a nearly naked Ed. “I mean, it’s not as if I’m wedding some virginal bride who would blush at the mere contemplation of sharing a bed with a fellow!”

“Hey,” Ed says, feigning offense as he shuffles into Stede’s embrace, propping his head against Stede’s left shoulder. “Are you saying I’m easy, mate?”

june hymn by ripeteeth 3.1k E

“Tell me about this one,” he says. What he means is, where did it hurt?

Breakfast by scarrletmoon 2.6k E

A typical quiet morning between co-captains aboard The Revenge turns into a much spicier breakfast.

quand il me prend dans ses bras, qu’il me parle tout bas (je vois la vie en rose) by SilkAndLeather (SexyCoinkiDicks) 7.2k E

Ed appreciates his new morning routine, as well as Stede's more intimate finery.

Tender, playful Ed/Stede morning sex PWP. Works as a stand-alone but might have a follow-up.

Unhand Me or Bleed by scarrletmoon 4.2k E

Stede Bonnet has an  “unhand me or bleed” moment and Ed can't not fuck him.

i'm coming for you, babe (i'm nearly at your pace) by kirkaut 4.7k E 

Ed has been trying to be good.

He can’t necessarily say the same of Stede.

(Or: an exercise in self restraint, and the art of giving in)

Renewal by katonline 3.4k E

The fire is blazing cheerfully in the fancy as fuck fireplace in their cabin. It’s a ridiculous folly, it shouldn’t be there, but it is and it’s wonderful. It’s wet and dreary outside and it’s cozy and snug and perfect in here. The cabin is like a friend. The rain is indifferent, blind to their happiness. That’s - whatsit, fuck - ah. Right. That’s pathetic fallacy.

Stede taught him about pathetic fallacy.

Damn the Dark by Serendipity_Stupidity 15k E 🍊

“Feels good,” Ed told him, breathless. “Bliss - love, surrender, all of it - feels so good. Don’t you want to feel that?”

For a moment, all Stede could see was the red flesh of apples, the flickering tongue of a snake, the dark cloven hooves of the Devil. Between his legs, Ed looked like sin itself, with his stormy curls and soft mouth.

Gripping the edge, Stede’s hands trembled. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stede and Ed share a bath and work through Stede's inhibitions about being intimate.

World Enough and Time by MayGlenn 6.9k E

Five times Stede and Edward try to have sex and are comically interrupted, and the one time they successfully bone.

rather exquisite by leaveanote 4.4k E 

Stede fucks him exactly once and Ed feels fucking wild with it the next day. So desperate to have him again he can barely think, and as nervous and excited as the moments after the first time they'd kissed.

And, given how that wound up going, all the more anxious about losing him.

My Saddle's Waiting by Dracothelizard 5.2k E

He regretfully covers Bonnet with the sheets, drawing them up to his waist. “I am gonna do my best to keep you alive,” he promises, brushing some hair away from Bonnet’s face. “Because once you’re healed up, I am gonna ride you like a pony.”

Bonnet whimpers. “I should be a lighthouse.”

“Yeah,” Ed says, “bet people can see your dick from miles away once we get it hard.” He stands up to find a comfortable chair to sit in so he can keep an eye on Bonnet during the night.

He’s not gonna let the man die before getting that massive dick inside of him.

---

In which Ed catches sight of Stede's cock after saving him from the Spanish and dragging him back to the Revenge, and embarks on an important mission.

Like a Needle to Skin It Leaves a Mark by greatbriton 6.3k E

“Oh! Or we find a nearby port and the whole crew gets matching tattoos, like this one!” Stede says and, without a thought to his actions, runs a finger against a part of Ed’s lower arm where a tattoo of an anchor slotted between stars and crosses resides. Ed's skin is cooler than Stede would imagine, if he imagines such a thing. “It could be a team building exercise!  What do you thi--”

Stede finally looks up to see Ed’s eyes focused intently on where Stede’s finger lies against his arm. Stede pulls his hand away as if burned. He’s overstepped. Clumsy and entirely indelicate of him, he mentally chastises himself.

Weird by Skrifores 5.6k E

In which Ed muses on all the things which are just fucking weird about being on the Revenge, especially the cute, strange, lunatic captain.

make sure you bind me (hand and foot) by Hymn 6.3k E

Finally, he looks at Edward.

Stede’s pupils are blown, eyes all dark and hungry. He licks his upper lip nervously. Ed can see the frantic pop of his pulse; can see the clench and flex of his jaw, like he’s struggling. But not in a bad way. No, not in a bad way at all, Edward decides, watching as Stede tugs a little more on the ropes. How his breath stutters, then leaves him in a shuddery exhale.

“Hm. That’s not a bad look on you, Stede,” Edward murmurs.

“I admit,” Stede gulps. “I was not prepared for being so- so affected by this.”

Ed grins, showing all his teeth. “Good.”

The Finer Things by BewareTheIdes15 5.9k E

“Listen, yeah,” Ed says, obviating the entire statement by taking an overlarge slug of his drink. The pink dart of his tongue that follows after is almost hidden by the shadow of his mustache.

“I’ve been thinking. How would you feel about, uh,” the sound of the leather of his glove grating against his trousers seems loud in the quiet as he traces the length of his thigh up to his hip, restless fingers tap-tapping away again against the steel of a fastening. “Lending a hand?”

In which Ed has no chill, Stede has no idea how this happened, and everyone needs to get their shit together.

we're finding new forms by Hymn 6.1k E

“Yeah,” Ed agrees, leaning in, breathing deep. “Yeah, you’re good. You’re fine.”

“Mm,” is Stede’s smiling response, and then between one moment and the next Ed is being kissed again. His shaking hands are in Stede’s hair, gripping at his ear, the side of his neck, trying to hold on to the shape of him while Ed himself feels like he’s falling apart. Heat and tongues and the slick, indecent slide of them take over. Breaths funneling into one another.

Against Ed’s gasping mouth, Stede murmurs, “My dear. You’re shaking,” before sucking in Ed’s bottom lip.

Groaning, Ed doesn’t try to fight it—the tide of panic, of love, of fear that lingers. He hadn’t expected that part, to be honest. All his life and Ed had shown fear the middle finger every time it came knocking. He’s had to, hasn’t he? But then wham, love stomps him to the ground, sets up a home inside his chest, and Ed hasn’t known peace since.

Stede’s fingers trying their damnedest to wiggle under his leather, squeezing at Ed’s ass sure as shit isn’t helping keep him sane.

Harbor by derryday 3.7k E

Ed had spent most of his formative years on ships. By the time he met Stede, the legendary Blackbeard had sea legs for days.

Wooden decks and billowing sails had become almost an extension of his body. He remained sure-footed even when timber strained and creaked. Moving with the push and pull of the sea became as natural to him as breathing.

A ship could heave and buck like an unruly horse as sheets of rain lashed the sails and thunder cracked overhead, and Ed would just shift his weight with the swaying deck, almost smiling at the sea's antics.

The touch of Stede's broad hands, the warm firm press of his thigh against Ed's groin—that storm made even him falter.

Lovers and Madmen by ElapsedSpiral 4.4k E

Ed said "nah, all good" but what he meant was, god as his witness, he was going to marry the [expletive] out of Stede Bonnet.

*

My take on a marriage fic, featuring Stede almost getting cockblocked by his own lack of self-esteem, Ed going full Bridezilla and the poor crew having to deal with them both.

Your Feedback Is Important to Us by ElapsedSpiral 4.1k E

Stede starts holding open cabin hours to allow the crew to air their grievances. It goes about as well as you’d expect.

AKA my “Stede is going to go off like a horny volcano when he finally gets laid” fic.

*

Featuring Stede’s cursed yet sexy moustache, Swede lore and Lucius being altogether too good at his job(s).

Co-Captain Duties by Fyre 3.5k E

He tugged at the hem, chewing on his lip. Subtle didn’t seem to be getting the message across, so maybe it was time for something a bit more direct. Yeah, they’d changed in front of each other before, but that was changing and they’d hardly been paying that much attention. Or he hadn’t, anyway, not with gorgeous silk in his hands. Fuck’s sake, they were co-captains now, weren’t they?

continue to part two

[isabellehemlock]

Stede's Formal Captain Portrait

ID. A digital art piece in portrait of the character Stede Bonnet, from the HBO show, Our Flag Means Death. He is wearing his teal outfit as the Gentleman Pirate, and is standing in front of an illustrated background of the ocean. END ID.

My fanon idea is that Stede had an official portrait of himself commisoned the moment he got his hands on the Revenge, so I decided to draw it after I saw this fantastic image of Rhys Darby.

Click here for redbubble prints 🍊

[newnewyorker93]

The Gentleman Pirate

Couldn't resist making a fancy (seriously, he's got so many layers I barely needed any filling for the body) little felt figure of Stede Bonnet from Our Flag Means Death 😄

(fake, non-petrified 🍊 included for scale)

[petrifiedcrange]

Stede closes the door behind himself and for a moment leans his back against it, heaving a long sigh, letting the air slowly out of his lungs as if trying to usher the tension, the exhaustion, the worry out along with it. He'd been up on deck, making sure they staid on course — they really needed those medical supplies, now more than ever — and checking on how the crew was doing, which was... not well ( he was both surprised and touched by how much they cared about Izzy ).

Once Izzy gets better, they're definitely doing a good long session of talking it through as a crew... maybe several sessions.

Once Izzy gets better...

Stede's heart gives a painful pang at the thought and his eyes automatically move to his and Edward's bed nook, to stop on the sight of Edward's tense back and Israel's prone form under the blanket.

It's been a couple of days since Izzy was shot and Roach still can't say anything definite to them about whether he'll make it through or not, only frowns when he checks his wound or temperature, and though Stede prides himself on being an optimist, even his optimism is beginning to wear thin when running on fumes for so long.

His eyes fall on the tray standing on the bedside table next, the breakfast he brought a couple of hours ago long gone cold and from what he can see of it — still untouched, sighs again and finally pushes off the door to cross the room and stop just behind Edward, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

As much as everyone is not handling Izzy's injury well, Edward is taking it the hardest — and there's no wonder about it, of course, how long have the two been together? two decades, three? — and Stede tries to make sure he would be alright in the end, knowing that's what Izzy would want him to do, too, but with every passing day the glaring truth is becoming more and more obvious: Edward will only be alright if Izzy is.

Without him...

Stede shakes his head to rid himself of that awful train of thought and opens his mouth, to say something comforting, but finds that whatever he can say right now would probably sound just flat and unconvincing, too much like empty promises, so he settles on squeezing Edward's shoulder affectionately and asking quietly:

❝ How is he doing, darling? ❞

[ OPEN for Ed, post-S2; no one is handling Izzy's injury well but Stede tries his best ]

[petrifiedcrange]

Stede Bonnet is not a human.

You're a monster.

A plague.

You defile beautiful things.

You've even managed to bring history's greatest pirate to ruin.

Chauncey's seemingly long forgotten words echo in his head, suddenly so loud and clear and true, when Stede, exhilarated from how well his plan, their little fuckery, was going, glanced back and saw Izzy stumble as he tried to keep up, saw his hand pressed to his side, saw blood glistening on the leather of his vest.

Izzy was hurt.

When?

How did neither of them notice?

Stede stumbles himself, nearly tumbles down the hill, and turns around, away from the sea, to hurry back to Izzy's side, to support him and help him limp along even as Izzy tries to wave him off and push him away, telling him breathlessly to fuck off, he's fine, but he's not and they both know it.

None of this is fine.

Stede doesn't even notice the figures of their crew dressed in Naval uniforms up ahead change into actual Navy before it's too late, too focused on supporting Izzy's increasingly dead weight, on keeping pressure on the wound, on Chauncey fucking Badminton of all people breathing down his neck every step of the way, whispering into his ear foul and thruthful things about how he destroyed everything he touched.

They are captured.

Surprisingly, Stede doesn't feel anything regarding the fact, not when they are ushered to another ship, the Naval one, not when Ricky meets them on deck, so damn pleased with himself.

Stede can't feel anything regarding those facts because all his thoughts and emotions are already swirling around Izzy, who rapidly loses consciousness despite his best efforts to keep him awake, bubbling some nonsense, and slumps alarmingly against his side.

The Navy are lucky they didn't try to separate them, let him help Izzy along to their ship.

Because if they did, then Stede would feel something over than increasing panic and helplessness and fear and guilt. Then he would fight and he would kill until Izzy was back by his side.

As it is, they are ushered below the deck and into the brig, Ricky taking one long look at Izzy and calling for someone, then diving straight into his evil monologue about how he is going to get revenge on all the pirates that escaped, dared to defy him, in one fell swoop with Izzy's and Stede's unwilling help, and Stede for the first time regrets not shooting Ricky back at Spanish Jackie's, regrets his stupid idea to take a royal hostage which seemed so clever in the moment, because if it wasn't for him, Izzy wouldn't be bleeding out in his arms and they would be back on Revenge, safe and sound, and that deranged minor Prince wouldn't be targeting everyone Stede loves once again.

But those thoughts go straight out the window when a man Ricky called for — apparently, some very expensive medic of his — enters the room and Stede has one unhinged, feral moment when he wants to curl around Izzy and snarl at the soldiers that reach to take him away but he forces himself to let Izzy go instead because Izzy needs medical attention and fast and if it comes from a man on Ricky's payroll because Ricky needs both of them alive to use as a bait for Edward and the crew... well, first thing's first — he needs Izzy to survive, and then they can make a plan to defeat Ricky for good and save their loved ones in the process.

Stede watches the medic examine Izzy with keen eyes, hoping, praying for some subtle gesture or expression on his face to show that Izzy is going to be alright, but the man's frown only deepens the more time passes and then he's turning towards Ricky with a grim, uncertain look and tells him quietly but loud enough for Stede to hear, for the ghost of Chauncey to repeat to him in a nauseating echo, that he lost a lot of blood and the odds are not good and there's no way of telling if Izzy will make it through the night, let alone survive in the long run.

Ricky pursues his lips and tells him to do the best he can and once the doctor is finished with the wound and Izzy is bandaged up, he is finally returned back behind the bars, back to Stede, and they are finally left alone for the time being, even Chauncey's ghost flickering out of existence for the time being.

For a moment, Stede just sits there on his knees on the wooden floor, breathing heavily, looking at Izzy, so still and pale he would look already gone if it wasn't for the shallow rise and fall of his chest, and willing a breakdown he can feel coming away.

He cannot afford to break down now.

He needs to take care of Izzy first.

He needs to get him warm.

It's a silly thought that's for some reason stuck on the loop in his mind since the moment he touches him, taking his hand, finding the rapid and too weak pulse, and feels how cold and clammy his skin is.

A small rational part of him knows that Izzy's cold from the shock and the blood loss and there's nothing Stede can do about it but he ignores that part of himself because he needs to do something or...

He doesn't want to even think about what would happen if he has nothing to do but sit and think and stew in his own guilt, so he gathers Izzy up, careful not to disturb his wound as he pulls him halfway into his lap, where it's softer, more comfortable than the hard wooden floor, and wraps his arms around him, trying to will his own warmth into him, and he doesn't know how much time passes, minutes or hours, but he thinks he feels Izzy's chest move even more shallowly and slowly against his own chest from where they're pressed together and he finds himself beginning to talk, pleading with Izzy to keep breathing, to stay with him, to not leave him there alone, tears welling in his eyes and threatening to fall because he never should have come back to Revenge, he should have died there in the forest and not Chauncey, because he only ever ruins everything and everyone he touches, even those he loves and tries so hard to protect — especially, them — and now Izzy is dying in his arms and Edward and the whole crew might die if they come to their rescue and it's all his fucking fault.

[ OPEN for Izzy that is based on this AU idea but can also work for other characters that might be on Ricky's ship at the time or, hell, Ed and the Revenge's crew who could catch up to this ship and take it with brutal force in the meantime because their captain and beloved unicorn are in danger; most of this is a set up so don’t even think about matching length ]

[petrifiedcrange]

Retrospectively, it might've been better if Stede admitted that he had gotten sick the morning prior and spent the day doing something about it instead of pretending that he was fine and pushing himself to keep going through his lessons with Izzy and a raid that he fought decently through, all things considered, but that left him so exhausted he didn't have energy to do anything else except praise everyone on how well they showed themselves during the fight, together with Izzy work out what they're taking as loot and collapse into bed upon returning to his quarters, still fully dressed, and immediately pass out.

And now that he woke up — he's not sure what time is it, but there's no light falling through the thin gap of his curtains – he feels awful, hot and feverish and congested and like he can't breathe, especially through his nose, and his throat is sore and oh, he's about to cry.

Pushing the blankets off in a desperate but clumsy attempt to escape the smoldering heat smothering him too hard, Stede sends them to the floor and accidentally bumps into something with his leg.

That something, when he lolls his head to the right to see what it is, turns out to be a figure sitting at his bedside, and he squints at it in the dim light of a lantern – it should be night then, some distant part of his mind acknowledges completely unhelpfully – through blurry vision to try and find out who exactly it is.

❝ Izzy?.. ❞ he croaks, and he would've been embarassed at how awful he sounds if he didn't feel so sick that the only thing that feels important for him at the moment is to plea through dewy lashes, looking so desperate as if his fate will be sealed if the other doesn't comply, ❝ Sing to me, please. ❞

[ OPEN for Izzy, mostly, but can also be for Ed and any other member of the crew because Stede could mistake someone else for Izzy in his state; inspired by @avastyetwats ]

[petrifiedcrange]

How good the crew and especially Stede looked in the naval uniforms got me thinking...

Izzy is captured by the Navy and they torture him for information about his captains and the crew and Zheng because there is evidence of her working together with Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate and he, of course, doesn't say anything.

It goes on for days, and it becomes more and more likely that no one will come for him.

It gives him mixed feelings: it hurts but on the other hand he wouldn’t want any of his crew risking their lives to save his.

One day, when he's close to the end of his tether, guards come into his cell to escort him to the commander of the fort and he hears them talk about some other posh naval twat arriving to take him away apparently all the way to London.

But London is a long way out and a lot can happen en route...

His train of thought stops dead in its tracks, though, when he's handed off to two officers apparently under command of the posh naval twat in question and one of them addresses him in Spanish, eyes gleaming with mischief from under the low-sitting cocked hat.

The officers are Jim and Frenchie.

Izzy barely has time to process this when he sees the posh twat that's taking him away talking to the commander of the fort, standing with his back to Izzy, and Izzy is not sure he didn't die in his cell after all and all of this is some weird hallucination conjured up by his dying mind because there's no way that posh twat, Admiral Edwards as he is addressed...

But the Admiral turns around and sure enough it's Stede fucking Bonnet.

[petrifiedcrange]

❝ Israel! ❞

Stede beams so brightly at Izzy once he finally wakes up that the sun can go green with envy. One can only wonder how he manages to pull this off with his dishelved hair and wrinkled plain shirt and bags under his eyes suggesting he hasn't had a good night's sleep in a couple of days at the very least.

But his eyes are practically glowing with relief and happiness and his smile doesn't fade one single bit as he, in a spur of the moment, brings Izzy's hand up to his lips and kisses his knuckles.

If he realizes what he's done and that they usually don't do this sort of thing, he doesn't give himself away with a single microexpression, still smiling as he babbles on,

❝ Oh, Ed will be so happy! And the crew, they were all so worried!.. ❞

[ OPEN for Izzy, post-S2, I dunno just have an excited Stede being physically affectionate with the man he grew very fond of and was afraid for a couple of days might die <3 ]

[petrifiedcrange]

Suddenly I want an AU where it's Stede and not Ed that notices that Izzy was shot and tries to help him along and they end up being separated from the rest and captured by the Navy and ushered to one of the Navy's ships to set sail only Ricky knows where.

He is angry at the pirates for daring to go against him like that and he desires revenge but surprisingly calls for some fancy expensive medic of his to treat Izzy's injury — which is not so surprising when he reveals that he wants to use him and Stede as a bait so the rest of the pirates led by Blackbeard will come to their rescue and fall into Ricky's trap so he needs Izzy alive for that.

The medic examines Izzy thoroughly and gives Ricky a grim, uncertain look — there's no way of telling if he even makes it through the night, let alone survives in the long run.

Ricky just tells him to do the best he can and once the doctor is finished with the wound and Izzy is bandaged up, him and Stede are thrown into the brig, for what might be the longest night in their lives (Stede’s, for sure, because while Izzy is mostly unconscious, Stede is left alone with his thoughts, guilt and fear)

[petrifiedcrange]

I had this headcanon somewhere on this blog that I can't find now but I just remembered it and fell in love with it all over again, so here goes:

in the future/steddyhands AU, Stede gets himself a little swallow tattoo on both his wrists to represent both his husbands

he didn't know that the swallow tattoo is actually a naval tattoo symbolizing a major sailing achievemeng like sailing 5000 nautical miles or all seven seas etc, he just saw that both Ed and Izzy have this tattoo and decided to match...

Ed also got his tattoo to match Izzy back in the day

( also, apparently swallows can symbolize both deep loyalty and true love because they mate for life and being a sort of talisman of safe return home no matter how long or far you travel because swallows are known to find their way way home from great distance, and I'm having feelings about both these facts and Stede, Ed and Izzy having these tattoos as eventual symbols of their love and being each other's home/safe harbor )

[petrifiedcrange]

something something Ed (and probably Stede) wanting to get revenge on Ricky and the Navy once they are sure Izzy is back on his feet, especially if they learn Ricky was originally aiming at Stede, so for Ed Ricky threatened both men he loves and Stede acutely feels his guilt over Izzy's injury, and Izzy having to hold his those two dumbassess back and doing his best to talk them out of it because it’s suicide to go against the whole Navy

(@ssbonnet and @blackflcgs got me thinking about revenge)

[petrifiedcrange]

Don't mind me, just the idea that Ed is in love with Stede's curls while Stede himself can't get enough of touching, stroking, tugging, messing up Izzy's hair is a bit funny to me, I don’t know

[petrifiedcrange]

Thought of the day: Stede telling Izzy that he is safe and Izzy just crumpling (Stede has enough sense not to confess his love for him just yet, or Izzy might perish)

[petrifiedcrange]

You know, we all talk about Edward going off the rails after Izzy gets shot and declaring war on Navy, and he, of course, would do that, no doubts about that, but let's think for a moment about Stede.

Who set a whole ship full of fancy pansy posh nobs on fire just because they made Edward feel bad.

Who killed Ned Lowe because he damaged his ship, hurt his crew, crashed their party & insulted Edward (which was the last straw).

Add to that the fact that Stede feels very guilty for Izzy's injury because if it wasn't for him, Ricky wouldn't declare war on pirates and none of these would happen.

Also add to that stressful days of waiting when they couldn't be certain if Izzy would make it or any minute would be his last.

Now... imagine the hell the Gentleman Pirate will unleash on the Navy and Ricky personally.

Both Izzy and Ed would have to hold him back and even then I'm not sure they would succeed.