#𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖗. the magic tastical back flipping rubber duck!

[pridetempt]

@chapeliier | starter call ( accepting )

❝ apology accepted ! ❞ wide grin vanishes , a bone-chilling ( soul-chilling ? ) darkness accompanying his lean in. ❝ but if you ever pull a stunt like this agaaaaain , i will fuck you ...... up. i will fuck you up. ❞

[pridetempt]

@calamitism's lilith | starter call ( accepting )

a light shrug precedes very matter-of-fact delivery. ❝ we're rich and we're hot. people want our money and our bodies ! ❞ ( it's tough to be this amazing. truly. )

[pridetempt]

@allstag | starter call ( accepting )

❝ oh god , here i go again—-- alastor ; just another fuckin' day with al. hey hey hey (!) fuck my life. ❞ ( what's that human phrase ? speak of the devil and he shall appear ? hate that saying. ) eyes narrow above his coffee cup in begrudging acknowledgement ❝ bambi. ❞

[pridetempt]

@toxitrosia | starter call ( accepting )

❝ that's just for me to know ... but please , do guess. i would like to hear the theories. ❞ it would be good to know what rumors have been circulating regarding his absence. what do the seven rings think they know about the king ?

[pridetempt]

@contractfee | starter call ( accepting )

brows lift , citrine eyes blinking slowly above an unimpressed frown. ❝ does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad little life ? ❞

[pridetempt]

@rejectmercy ❤ ’d 

slow smirk tugs one corner of his mouth up ( oh , he could have some fun with this ). ❝ well , i am the devil —-- the king of hell , the first angel to fall from grace ...  ❞ hands tug first at the bottom of his vest —- fixing perceived wrinkles --— then lift to straighten his bowtie.   ❝ maybe i'm lying. ❞

❝ shall we find out ? ❞

[pridetempt]

@hashtagbiitch ❤ ’d 

eyes blink in slow succession and a single brow lifts. ❝ this is hell. ❞ ( as if that could possibly escape anyone's notice. ) clawed fingertips tap out a mindless pattern on the apple-topped cane in their grip.   ❝ of course i don't trust you. ❞

❝ it'd be a funny ol' world if demons went around trusting one another , don't ya think ? ❞

[pridetempt]

@redemptsin ❤ ’d          ( for velvette)

citrine eyes flash wide in a startled expression more befitting of a sunday morning cartoon character than the devil himself. ( somehow he didn't expect her to just say it out loud like that. )   ❝ OH !! no ! nonono ⁿᵒₒₒ ! that's , uh , hah , no. ❞ after a beat of silence , he'll recover his composure with a tight, disingenuous smile.   ❝  for all the heavenly light and ✨celestial harmonies✨ , angels can be surprisingly vindictive. if you think the exterminations were bad .... ʰᵒᵒʜᴏᴏᴏ have i got news for you. ❞ spoiler alert : it's not good news.

recovery continues with feet kicked up on the table , uncaring should his host mind shoes on the furniture.   ❝ exorcists are the tip of the iceberg , girlie. and i can't have you starting a war upstairs. ❞

[pridetempt]

@origiinis ❤ ’d

❝ rude. just plain rude is what it is. no warning , no context , no please. nothing ! ❞ glimmering golden portal closes behind the mumbling devil with an audible " POP ! ". does no one care that he has a schedule to maintain ? this little summons is clearly cutting into lucifer's dedicated wallow-in-self-pity time. ( while significantly shorter now , it is still a vitally important part of his day week. ) ❝  alright , what gives ? what's up ? why am i —-- ❞ OH !

surprise quickly melts into a wicked grin. maybe this wouldn't be such a terrible waste of time after all. ❝  well , look who's recovered from his ass-kicking.  ❞ by him. by lucifer. lucifer kicked adam's ass. :) ❝ how ya doin' , buddy ? long time , no see. oh, you owe me a goat demon , by the way. should i just put that on your tab orrr ? ❞

[pridetempt]

@exorcistlieutenant ❤ ’d

he's the picture of casual indifference : comfortably leaned back in his chair , feet kicked up onto the table , and sipping on a sinfully delicious green apple slushy from lu lu world.   ❝ out of curiosity , what do they tell you about me ? ya know—-- ( ʰᵒᵒ ₕₒₒ ) ❞ a quick two tone whistle accompanies a thumb jabbing upward and a waggle of brows.   ❝ upstairs. ❞ SURELY he's some kind of precautionary tale , the boogeyman used to scare the other angels into behaving. if not , that's a missed opportunity. though it may not look it at the moment , lucifer makes a great boogeyman.

another slurp of slushy follows.   ❝ mmm ! these are so good ! i really do amaze myself sometimes. ❞ golden gaze admires his handiwork for a moment before flickering up to exorcist.

❝ oh. sorry , did you want one ? ❞

[pridetempt]

@hellsbroadcaster ❤ ’d

it took a whopping 3 seconds for the angel's eyes to glaze over ; unseeing gaze fixed on the wall behind alastor as fingers drum atop his cane. he'd walk away , but charlie's voice echoes in his head about ' being the bigger man '. much easier said than done. ❝ would you shut your pretentious trap for five seconds i'm trying to—-- ❞ lucifer cuts himself off with a long exhale. finally. ❝ you protected my little girl before i got there. so... thank you. ❞ oh , that's actually almost physically painful to say. ew.

❝ i mean obviously adam was waay too much for you to handle. i was always going to have save the day. ❞ ( is it still considered sinfully prideful if it's true ? ) ❝ but you tried so that's something. ❞

[pridetempt]

@jizzlords ❤ ’d

❝ fuck. fuckity fuck fuck fuck ! ❞ this seems like such a bad idea now that he's actually standing at asmodeus's door. how did charlie talk him into this ? ( oh , right . " please , dad , i need you ". those five words are practically his kryptonite ) but at least no one is around to see the king of hell animatedly pacing around , mumbling to himself. ❝ it's been , what ? , a few... thousand years and , hey , i know i practically abandoned you after we fell , but i'm trying to claw my way out of depression and my daughter thought i should come see you so here i am ! oh , god. that's terrible.  ❞ WAIT. did that door just open ?

❝ OZZzzz !! ❞ the smile plasters itself on his face even quicker than he spins around to look up ( waaaay up ) at the once familiar face. ❝ heh-— hey ! ❞ damn voice crack.

[pridetempt]

@arachnaemboss ❤ ’d

waaaaAAHHHHH !! the scream grows louder as the responsible party falls further and further from the top of the building from which they were evidently thrown. and yet the interruption proves but a momentary pause in conversation : just enough to magic up a red and white striped umbrella to shield from any ... unsavory impact splatter. ❝ ahh , they're all so young now , aren't they ? they still have dreams -— and the belief that they can accomplish them. ❞ SPLAT !!

❝  haven't seen what we've seen , don't know what we know. ❞ crimson pupils flicker up ever so briefly ( if you catch his drift ) ❝ must be nice to be that blindly idealistic. ❞

[pridetempt]

@voxistem ❤ ’d

❝ well , it's business , really. ❞ he'll begin a casual stroll around the room , eyeing up the overlord's home turf with an unimpressed ' hmph' .   ❝ see , i heard that... what's his face —-- sir..... snakes-a-lot was sent to charlie's hotel by you. ❞ a smooth spin on his heel brings the path back towards vox. ❝ so i thought i'd stop by with a friendly little.... warning. ❞ ( spoiler alert : it's not so friendly ) ❝ if you , or anyone else in hell for that matter , do anything to mess with charlie or the hotel ... ❞ eyes narrow , the king's demeanor darkening in a flash. ❝  i will. fucking. end. you. ❞

and just like that he straightens up with a cheerful smile , dramatically menacing aura vanishing with the quick movement. ❝ m'kay ? ❞

[pridetempt]

@dvilborn ❤ ’d

❝ hey- heey , charlie , char char. ❞ a wide grin plasters itself across his face , arm reaching up to wrap around her shoulder then quickly diverting to her upper arm. turns out his daughter's shoulder is a bit too far of a stretch to feel comfortable.   ❝ i was thinking --— we haven't been to lu lu world in... ❞ eyes squint as he freezes in place to do the mental math required to calculate exactly how many years... decades ? ( oh ! no ! don't do that. ) ❝ -— a long time. ❞

❝ what d'ya say ?  a little father-daughter bonding time ?  it'll be GREAT !! like old times !  we could have the place to ourselves —- all of the fun , none of the lines or crowds or ... murders. ❞ is he selling it too hard ? he's selling it too hard , isn't he ?