#𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔: 𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒔

[dominaelumine]

WHICH TYPE OF PROTAGONIST ARE YOU? 

tagging: @jediknght​ @exsanguinatedserenity​ @dcvildealt​ @uizado and you! 

healer's burden. most of what i can say here is sheeesh....yikes.....ouch.... so you don't have a savior complex, because you understand that's toxic. you're not here to save anyone: you're here to heal them, with or without them knowing, because you love so much and care so deeply and you're very stubborn about it. there's no one on this earth that you wouldn't give a helping hand to--but it's called a burden for a reason, because this isn't a one-person job. as a protagonist, you're determined and selfless, but as a person, you probably need a break. heal yourself for a little, okay?

[dominaelumine]

YOUR CHARACTER IN FIVE QUOTES 

tell us your favourite quotes from your character. give us an idea of who they are with five things they’ve said. tagged by @dcvildealt & tagging @jediknght @nightwarn @hauntrcss @exsanguinatedserenity @herflame​

•  all I know is I’d rather fight a hundred times with you than without you. so if you’re staying here, so am I.

•  it’s. . .  possible I’m not over my dad the way that I wish I was over my dad. that I want to hurt someone. and since he’s not around, I’m trying to find other people who can stand to take on a little hurt.

•   you know the dreams I dread before I go to sleep? the good ones... the happy ones... the hopeful ones. because then you wake up and you’re back to your own life.

•   my opinion and my experience: it’s dangerous to get close to anyone.

•  the. . . things you did won’t define me. they’ll affect me, for sure, but only as much as I let them. 

[dominaelumine]

CHARACTER PROFILE. 

stolen from @batsymbol  

tagging @nineprowls​ @hauntrcss​ @jediknght​ and you!

NAME.     tandy reese bowen

AGE.     16-25 

SPECIES.     human ; divine being ; mutant ( occasionally ) 

GENDER.    cisgender female

ORIENTATION.     bisexual ; sex-repulsed

INTERESTS.     ballet ; travel ; puzzles ; justice ( ha ) ; feminism in all forms - very involved in activism at a local and national level

PROFESSION.     thief ; student ; ballerina ; vigilante 

BODY TYPE.     small, curvy. softness rather than musculature, though this is somewhat inhibited by the early signs of malnutrition she carries. she is slowly working on her fitness and this is beginning to show

EYES.     dark brown ; bright white when using her powers 

HAIR.     bright blonde ; dirty blonde ( unwashed ) ; shoulder to chin-length depending on mood ; occasionally pixie cut 

SKIN.     caucasian ; often lightly tanned, but never to any significant amount ; light emanates from all over her body, originating under her skin and softly shining outwards  

FACE.     rounded, soft, appealing. she has a lovely smile <33 and very symmetrical features ; conventionally attractive

HEIGHT.     5′2″ ; short

COMPANIONS.     tyrone johnson, detective bridget o’reilly. marvel knights : matt murdock, natasha romanoff, frank castle, peter parker. her companions are few and far between but she cares for them deeply. 

ANTAGONISTS.     andre deschaine : d’spayre. nathan and melissa bowen. mr negative. simon marshall.

COLORS.     white and pale, ballet-slipper pink. black is… the most comforting. 

FRUITS.     raspberries ; blackberries ; lemon

DRINKS.     water ; coffee ; tea ( of all kinds )

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES?     heavy drinker when things get tough. wine and hard liquor. mostly avoidant of it these days though - she doesn’t like anything to inhibit her reaction time

SMOKES?     no, but has in the past ( only socially )  

DRUGS?    recovering from an addiction to painkillers ; has experimented ; currently clean 

DRIVERS LICENSE?     no official license but can drive a car 

[dominaelumine]

❛ WHAT PART OF THIS HAUNTED HOUSE ARE YOU? 

tagged by: @paramnesias

tagging: @atlantaen @dcvildealt @hauntrcss​

A: THE MIRROR. what do you see today? better yet, what don’t you see today? probably the same as yesterday, right? everything at once. . . and nothing at all. you know the face looking back at you enough to know that it is not your own, whatever that means. you’ve learned by now that your face is irrelevant, one that takes a backseat to the ones that come to you everyday, asking you to show them lies. you don’t, of course. you are an amalgamation of all the faces looking back at you, a reflection of themselves. there is nothing but truth in that. don’t take it too personally then, when they scream in your face and take off running. you show them what they show you: who they are. 

it’s something you can relate to, isn’t it? not being able to confront yourself face-to-face. 

[dominaelumine]

@antigoddex asked: what was their favourite childhood activity? + what’s one thing they’ve done that they’re the most proud of?

send me a prompt!

✧ ✧ ✧

tandy's favourite childhood activity was ballet. like many little girls, she was put into dance classes by her parents very early on ; unlike many little girls, she showed a strong talent from her very first class. ballet became the centre of her world- it was where she made the majority of her friends, and thus where her early social life spawned from. tandy was never particularly interested in school - though she tried hard at it before her dad died, the classes never fully captivated her interest. ballet was not only something she could enjoy and thrive at, it was also a way to make her father proud - which, until the age of eight, was her primary purpose in life.

find the second answer here.

[dominaelumine]

@nightwarn asked: what’s one thing they’ve done that they’re the most proud of?

send me a prompt!

tw: trafficking & addiction mention

✧ ✧ ✧

tandy has several things to be proud of ; escaping from her home and later from new orleans ; confronting the memory of her father and making peace with his monstrous nature ; preventing a deadly explosion that would have destroyed her city ; murdering one of her traffickers and imprisoning the other, saving the other girls under their control. however, tandy considers all of these situations as motivated by self-survival - she was backed into a corner, summoning her bravery to deal with something horrifying that was forced upon her. 

so instead, tandy is most proud of getting clean of her painkiller addiction. it is an addiction that she watched devour her mother, pill by pill, and one she turned to herself when she reached her teen years. after developing her abilities and saving the city, she makes the decision to try to wean off her reliance on them. it’s hard, it’s painful, and she regresses multiple times- but she never gives up on trying to quit. she still feels the temptation sometimes, after a nightmare or a particularly difficult day- but quitting is an ongoing action, and one that she is proud to uphold. 

[dominaelumine]

@herflame asked: when they look into a mirror, are they happy with what they see?  why or why not?

send me a prompt!

tw: trafficking mention ; negative body image 

✧ ✧ ✧

tandy has a difficult relationship with her appearance. she is aware that she is conventionally attractive, because she has been told so her whole life. as a kid she was cute, but hitting puberty came with the ugly, predatory attraction of adult men which made her despise her appearance. in an effort to take back some control over this shift, she used her appearance to seduce and steal from men - but ultimately this made her feel hollow, and didn't give her any real power. cutting ties with that part of her life made her feel a lot more comfortable in her body, and happier to survey her reflection.

unfortunately, after being kidnapped and trafficked tandy's feelings around body image plummeted again. the violation of her safety and autonomy- not even being able to dress herself- left her traumatised. swamping herself in enormous, oversized clothes and avoiding all reflective surfaces became a safety mechanism for her as she sought for a way to cope with what had happened.

currently, tandy is in a more stable place with her self image. she is able to look at herself in the mirror, and is usually comfortable with what she sees. she reminds herself that this is the body that has got her this far - the body she has survived in, that has protected her and weathered all storms. she is entirely unconcerned with looking pretty, or being a certain size- she is simply relieved to be safe, to be in control, and to be healthy. 

[dominaelumine]

CHARACTER DEEP DIVE! 

instructions: rate your muse on the following aspects as truthfully as you can. repost, do not reblog! stolen from @dcvildealt​

BODY ☻

height: 5'2

strength ★★☆☆☆

dexterity ★★★★☆

health ★★☆☆☆

energy ★★★☆☆

beauty ★★★★★ (canonically one of the most beautiful people in the marvel universe, and boy does she hate it) 

style ★★★★☆ (her comic suit... a disaster) 

hygiene ★★★★☆

SKILLS  . • °

perception ★★★★☆

communication ★★☆☆☆

persuasion ★★★★★

mediation ★★☆☆☆

literacy ★★★★☆

creativity ★★★★☆

dancing ★★★★★

cooking ★☆☆☆☆

tech savviness ★★★☆☆

combat ★★★☆☆

survival ★★★★★

stealth ★★★☆☆

street smarts ★★★★★

education ★☆☆☆☆

luck ★☆☆☆☆

handling animals ★★★★★

pacifying children ★☆☆☆☆

MIND  ❦

intelligence ★★★★☆

happiness ★★☆☆☆

spirituality ★★★☆☆

confidence ★★★☆☆

humor ★★★★☆

anxiety ★★★★☆

patience ★★☆☆☆

passion ★★★★★

nice ☆☆★☆☆ mean

brave ☆★☆☆☆ cowardly

pacifist ☆☆☆★☆ violent

thoughtful ☆☆★☆☆ impulsive

agreeable ☆☆☆★☆ contrary

idealistic ☆☆☆☆★ pragmatic

frugal ★☆☆☆☆ big spender

extrovert ☆☆★☆☆ introvert

collected ☆☆☆★☆ wild

SOCIAL  ❥

charisma ★★★★★

empathy ★★★★☆

compassion ★★★★☆

generosity ★★★★☆

wealth ★☆☆☆☆

mystery ★★★☆☆

honest ☆☆☆★☆ deceptive

leader ☆☆★☆☆ follower

polite ☆☆★☆☆ rude

political ★☆☆☆☆ indifferent

BELIEFS  ♕

higher power ★★☆☆☆ (despite having met... multiple gods) 

fate/destiny ★★★☆☆

magic ★★★★★

soulmates ★★★★☆ (ONLY for ty) 

good and evil ★★★★★

luck ★★★★★

PRIORITIES  ✫

family ☆☆☆☆☆  (they suck)

friends ★★★★★

love ★☆☆☆☆

home ★★★★☆ (in that she would like one)

health ★★★★☆

praise ★☆☆☆☆

justice ★★★★★

honor ★☆☆☆☆

truth ★★★★★

knowledge ★★★★★

power ★★★★☆ (in this sense meaning autonomy) 

fame ☆☆☆☆☆

wealth ★★★☆☆ (she wants enough money to live on)

others’ opinions ★☆☆☆☆

[dominaelumine]

MUSE SURVEY : BATTLE EDITION 

bold: always applies  |  italicised: situational/sometimes applies

tagged by: @lupinzapezit <333

tagging: @atlantaen @evermxre @00110000exe

fight honorably  /  fight dirty  /  prefer close-quarters  /  prefer range  /  chat during  /  go silent /  low pain tolerance  /  high pain tolerance  /  attack in bursts  /  attack steadily  /  go for the kill  /  aim to disarm  /  fight defensively  /  strike first  /  provoked easily /  provoke their opponent  /  tease  /  get visibly frustrated  /  shout while attacking  /  use strategy /  focus on their battle  /  experience conflicting thoughts during battle  /  rush in recklessly  /  try to read their opponent before fighting  /  fight wildly  /  fight calmly and,  or apathetically /  fight with anger  /  fight with excitement  / fight because they have to  /  fight because they want to  /  fight without regard to wounds  /  run away when wounded  /  hide wounds  /  take a blow to protect another  /  prefer a blade  /  prefer a gun  /  prefer to use their ability  /  prefer a bow  /  prefer a shield /  prefer a pole arm  /  prefer a personalized weapon  /  prefer magic or spells  /  prefer brawling  /  their greatest weakness is physical  /  their greatest weakness is mental  /  their greatest weakness is emotional /  transform for battle  /  fight as they appear  /  rely on strength  /  rely on speed  /  use everything they have  /  hide their full potential  / exhaust quickly  /  high stamina  /  doubt their strength  /  proceed with caution  /  behave arrogantly  /  brag after landing a hit  /  belittle their abilities  /  use psychological tactics  /  use brute strength  / avoid civilians  /  strike down civilians  /  damage surroundings  /  avoid damaging surroundings  / signature fighting style /  making it up as they go  /  mastered skillset /  learning their skillset  /  fancy footwork  /  sloppy footwork  /  messy fighter / elegant fighter  /  accept defeat  /  refuse defeat  /  beg for mercy  /  compliment their opponent  /  insult their opponent  / use unnecessary movements  ( flips,  twirls )  /  move efficiently  /  barely move  /  prefer to dodge  /  prefer to block  /  defend their blindside  /  has no blindside  /  use all available advantages  ( ex :  use a gun but also throw punches,  kick out while blades clash,  etc. )  /  strictly use one main method  /  play around  /  hold back  /  fight ruthlessly  /  show mercy  / wait for opponent to be ready  /  strike when opponent isn’t ready /  fear death  /  fear pain / fear killing  /  has ptsd /  avoid fighting  /  has lost a fight  /  has won a fight  /  has killed / refuses to kill  /  want to die standing  /  would succumb slowlytag

[dominaelumine]

𝐖𝐇𝐎'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 ‘ 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐍 ’ ?

tagging: @evermxre @atlantaen @herflame​

❛ I’LL DIE ON MY FEET WITH A KNIFE IN MY HAND. ❜

TANDY BOWEN and INEJ GHAFA from the SIX OF CROWS DUOLOGY. two young women with blood on their hands and horrors in their pasts ; who move between murder and theft with unfaltering deftness and skill. both are victims of sex trafficking within the viking motel and the menagerie - forced to cooperate with their own dehumanisation and enslavement, before their eventual liberation. despite past traumas, tandy and inej are strong and determined characters who seek to banish their pasts and reclaim better futures. they share a love of blades and knives, and are inseparable from their close male partners. earning their names - dagger, the wraith - hasn’t been easy, but their reputations now precede them ; beware of crossing their paths, lest you lose your life in the shadows . . . 

[dominaelumine]

𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄: 𝑪𝑶𝑮𝑵𝑰𝑻𝑰𝑽𝑬 𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑬𝑺𝑺𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻

bold any problems which always apply to your muse  ╱ italicise those which sometimes apply, or have applied in the past  ╱ stolen from @shinedied​ ♥

❛ alcoholism  .  amnesia  .  anxiety  .  appetite  loss  .  binge  eating  .  co - dependence  . cynicism  .  defensiveness  .  denial  .  depersonalization  .  depression  .  derealization devaluation  .  displacement  .  dissociation  .  drug  abuse*  .  dysphoria  .  emotional detachment  .  flashbacks  .  flat  affect  .  guilt  .  hallucinations  .  hypersomnia  . hypervigilance .  hypochondria  .  idealization  . insomnia .  intellectualization  .  introjection  . isolation  . low  self - esteem  .  narcissism  .  night  terrors  .  obsessive  compulsion  . overeating  .  panic  attacks  .  passive  aggression  .  paranoia  .  phobias  .  projection  . psychosis  .  rationalization  .  regression  .  repression  .  restrictive  eating  .  risky  sex  . self - harm*  .  somatization  .  splitting  .  sublimation  .  suicidal  ideation*  .  sleepwalking  . suppression  . thousand - yard  stare  .  triggers  .  trust  issues  .  violence*  . whiplash temper . ❜

*   — in recovery

[dominaelumine]

𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐍'𝐒 𝐁𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘  ; 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

inspired by a wonderful post by @intohero​ ! & a warning that this post contains references to a grooming ‘relationship’ (for lack of a better word) between an adult and a minor, which appears in season one of cloak and dagger ; non-explicit references to trauma around physical attraction

— tandy is bisexual, meaning that she is attracted to both men and women. however, her journey to understanding and accepting this is far from straightforward. 

— an initial hurdle to self-understanding was that for a long time, tandy’s ability to recognise her attraction to other people- men or women!- was severely damaged. between the ages of fifteen and sixteen, she was in a relationship with liam walsh, a man in his twenties. walsh, a thief, began to use tandy in his cons, as she was already a proficient pickpocket by this stage. their main con involved tandy flirting with older rich men, getting them to take her home, and then drugging them so that they could rob their houses. being groomed into a relationship by an adult when she was still a child, and being pushed into flirtatious and sometimes intimate behaviour with other adults, significantly damaged tandy’s understanding of relationships and attraction. she perceived sexuality as something she had to perform - a character that she became, rather than engaging with any willingness or real consent. 

— after her experiences in the viking motel, tandy developed a severe mental block around attraction, as well as a fear of men. as well as avoiding physical contact and dressing to cover her body, she avoided looking at people. attraction was now perceived as predatory, meaning that tandy averted her own eyes as well as avoiding the eyes of others. any physical attraction was rapidly quashed and repressed, and the concept of being attractive to someone became deeply repugnant and even distressing. this attitude held until her early to mid-twenties. 

— following therapy, tandy began to reconnect with her feelings of attraction towards others. at this stage, she was finally able to acknowledge her feelings towards women, as well as men. initially, tandy found this frightening. she had very little experience being around women ; she dropped out of school at fifteen, had no female friends (really, no friends at all), and little connection with her mother. having spent her teenage years shaping herself to the desires of men, she had no framework of how to attract or be attracted to women. 

— making meaningful connections with people- men and women- was the main route to tandy accepting and understanding her sexuality. regaining trust in people via friendship allowed her to see the value in allowing people close, which in turn boosted her confidence. she is still very anxious around attraction and sexuality, but can confidently state that she finds men and women attractive. moving into a relationship with either is the next step in a long work in progress! 

[dominaelumine]

META THOUGHTS re: tandy and food. a short discussion about tandy’s relationship with eating, and the negative influences upon this throughout her life. this post touches on both comic and mcu / my main version of tandy.  

tw: disordered eating / eating disorder discussed under the cut ; drug mention ; abduction / imprisonment mention 

in tandy’s comic background* & her no-powers au, she struggles with an eating disorder, the root causes of which are being brought up by a vain, absent supermodel mother, and the constant pressure of succeeding at ballet.

( * as with most comic book characters, her background varies !  this aspect does not always apply to every backstory tandy has had over the years, and has been phased out of many recent iterations )

in her main verse... I have a lot of thoughts. she grows up from the age of eight in complete poverty, so I think tandy probably hoards food but does not always allow herself to eat it, for fear of it running out. she is uncomfortable eating in front of others unless absolutely necessary.

during her time at the viking motel, food was used to control tandy and the other girls. being compliant meant getting fed. fighting back meant going hungry. combined with the drugs they were consistently fed, and the psychic manipulation, this made the girls completely reliant on lia and andre for sustenance. in the immediate aftermath of her escape, and the weeks and months that follow, tandy probably finds eating very very difficult. she just... isn’t hungry anymore. her appetite is gone. the very thing she needs to live was used as a means of control and manipulation, and so eating feels like ‘giving in’ to her captors again.

something that helps long-term is atlas, tandy’s therapy dog. getting into the routine of feeding him, and following that action with a small snack for herself, allows tandy to reshape the act of feeding into one of self-care. having a dog improves tandy’s attitude to life in many ways, and being responsible for ‘someone’ forces her to look after herself more. 

FROM A WRITING POINT OF VIEW the contrast between comic!tandy’s struggles with food and mcu!tandy’s struggles with food are interesting to me, as this is a topic close to my heart. the former is much more closely aligned with what most people perceive an eating disorder to be ‘about’- body image, trying to be ‘skinnier’, negative self-worth enforced by modern beauty standards. the latter is a less-talked-about ‘cause’ of disordered eating- it has roots in food scarcity, and is reinforced by abuse; it’s not about looking a certain way, but instead is about tandy’s perception of food being tainted. I think it’s a great way to demonstrate how trauma and abusive people can damage or even ruin mundane actions, objects, or experiences. naturally both versions are valid and distinctly aligned with their own version of tandy. 

[dominaelumine]

PUPPY LOVE ! meet tandy’s ideal man: large, drooling, covered in hair and... a bernese mountain dog.

MEET ATLAS, tandy’s therapy dog, a faithful companion full of unconditional love. while tandy struggles with human touch, atlas fulfils her need for physical contact and cuddle-induced comfort. to those pursuing tandy romantically, BEWARE — you will have to share her heart (and her bed!) with her fluffy companion.

[dominaelumine]

❛ Somehow I sensed what was coming for me even then. Really, though, what girl doesn’t? It looms over you, that threat of violence. They drill the danger into your head until it starts to feel inevitable. You grow up wondering when it’s finally going to happen. ❜ ― KATE ELIZABETH RUSSELL, MY DARK VANESSA 

𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐇. some days are easier than others ; entirely ordinary, and nothing goes wrong. other days, tandy thinks she sees one of them in a crowd- a man in a black suit and hat, or a woman with shiny, dark hair and clinking bangles. she had been expecting the hallucinations, the haunting (her father followed her for eight years, after all)  — what she doesn’t expect is how much of trauma is a five-sense-experience. the rise of men’s cologne in her nostrils when she passes one in a store ; the jump at a hand on her shoulder or the back of her neck ; the taste of tinned soup and green tea ; the pain of jazz music and the scratch of a needle dropping on a record player. how can two people take so much from her? how is that fair? 

[dominaelumine]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

tagged by @teletropic​ 

tagging you !​

𝑮 𝑹 𝑬 𝒀 ; 

repression tastes like chalk. you build yourself a lighthouse and haunt the stairwell all on your own- you think it's funny. you are angry, and tired, and people want SO MUCH from you but never listen when you speak. 

( ❛ don't be petty- keep talking- i will listen. ❜ )