#𝐂𝐇𝐋𝗢𝗘𝗩𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑: // wake me up before i’m gone. [ chloe & maeve ]

[lookedinfinite]

starter call | @chloevlinder

"not that your dress style isn't incredible, because truly, it is."  words are gently hummed, hands smoothing floral dress despite it fitting perfectly. they rarely get to spend real time together - maeve's phd eating away at her time, chloe busy with the starts of her own life. yet, when they're in the same town, or same apartment… 

it's just nice to have her sister for a little while, to feel like a normal finally-adult.

"I don't know." she's never seen herself as the naturally pretty type, not like chloe. unsure and quiet in her skin, her smarts her one constant. how had mary put it when she was little? if anyone would ever be capable of wishing themselves invisible, it would surely be maeve. "you're sure looks okay on me?"

[lookedinfinite]

@chloevlinder

source

[phdiism]

𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // tag dump: relationships

[lookedinfinite]

starter call | @chloevlinder

if their roles were reversed, maeve knows she'd be three times the worrier chloe is being. which, by itself, is already an incredible achievement. her sister means well: maeve knows that, and she doesn't hold it against other for a second. anniversary of her shooting is hard on both of them for different reasons - chloe left to process so much grief that guilt feels like acid in scientist's stomach. "if you bake anymore, you're going to run out of space." it's a soft tease laced with gentle worry of her own, entering other's kitchen with a glance over disturbingly covered counters. "are you doing a bake sale I didn't hear about?"

[lookedinfinite]

" you're very important to me. " from @chloevlinder

after all this time, it shouldn't be a shock - nor, should it burn and ache in her chest as she does, as if weighed down by some heavy guilt for something yet to come. they aren't truly eternal, no matter how it feels. they last, they survive, they continue... until, of course, they don't. all they once were has long since crumbled in the memories of everyday people, faded from ancient pages like fables or prayers. 

they've been family so very long, and like all families, they have the power to entirely destroy each other. "I know, queenie." the threat of grief is a messy thing, one that sometimes blinds her with the terror of the pain to come. 

still she leans against other for a second, bumping her with her arm, doe eyes glancing up at her. "you're semi-precious to me." she teases. "a solid silver on the scale."

[lookedinfinite]

𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // tag dump: relationships

𝗥𝗘𝐈𝐈𝐆𝗡𝐎𝗡𝐌𝐄: // between the different shades of you.  [ Luke & Maeve ]

𝗥𝗘𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐈𝗕𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝗡𝐒: // a dangerous hope.  [ Hotch & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝗥𝐈𝐔𝐒𝗩𝐎𝐈𝐓: // change your taste in men.  [ Elias & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // but trauma is immortal and none of this is your fault.  [ Jami & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // but I keep coming back this must be serious.  [ Kiwi & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: //  been in pain but not a quitter.  [ Savannah & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // the only thing sure from the start.  [ Jill & Maeve ]

𝗗𝗔𝗡𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗜𝗦𝗠: // remember the fire remember her face.  [ Carol & Maeve ]

𝗕𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗢𝗙𝗔𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: // all those wonders sit in wait.  [ Kurt & Maeve ]

𝐂𝐇𝐋𝗢𝗘𝗩𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑: // wake me up before I’m gone.  [ Chloe & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐆𝐀𝗭𝐄𝐑𝐒: // at my own funeral I don’t recognize myself anymore.  [ Xandra & Maeve ]

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓: // many moons of waiting on a steady sun.  [ Clara & Maeve ]

𝐘𝐎𝐀𝐊𝐊𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐄: // separation’s all that can save us love.  [ Spencer & Maeve ]

𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐈𝐒𝐌: // I need you to tell me I’m worthy.  [ Ray & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃𝐏𝐀𝗦𝗧: // it's not the life you thought you'd live.  [ Peter & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐀𝗧𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐒: // if you’re lonely can’t you speak love.  [ Felix & Maeve ]

𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓 𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐍𝐀𝐌: // the touch of his hands were as cold as his eyes.  [ Bobby & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // it's like I heard your heartbeat call.  [ Bethany Elliott ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // give my soul just to see your face.  [ Oliver Elliott ]

𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝗗: // I'm a long way from home now.  [ Spencer & Maeve ]

𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇𝗙𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆: // between comfort and chaos.  [ Ruby & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐇𝐑𝗙𝐋𝐀𝐖 // let me in the river.  [ Law & Maeve ]

[lookedinfinite]

" where to? " from @chloevlinder

for once, she doesn't know, doesn't mind - getting in sister's car getting a sigh of relief. there is little in universe maeve struggles more with than feeling like a burden, never wanting her needs, her wishes, to get in the way of other people's happiness. she is quiet in all parts of her life, yet most of all, maeve is so terribly quiet with her sadness. she'd known sister would respond to text: that chloe of all people would be able to read between her words to the fact her reaching out first was never a sign things were perfect. it's chloe, after all, made of atoms from the same star maeve herself had been carved from.

she'd not expected other to be here within hours. "let's just drive?" soft request is the only answer she can come up with. anywhere but here. "I don't mind where. let's just- go to the sea or something?" 

[lookedinfinite]

send 🤕 to be by receivers bedside when they wake up from a coma. from @chloevlinder

it takes a long while for her to stay conscious: anything more than for heartbeats at a time, for seconds of what barely feels real. no matter when she wakes... it seems there are always fickers of what can only be her sister. who else would it be? the softness holding her hand, stroking her hair, whispering her name in a voice she's known for longer than anything else. 

she never wakes to mary. it's no shock - though she's not yet aware of joe's death, doesn't know what to make of his absence. it's just chloe or spencer, over and over, trying to guide her back. if she's lost at sea... her sister is her lighthouse, finally helping a shore be visible in the dark. instead - in the end - there's nothing loud or bold to it. she finally properly wakes gently, an ocean returning to familiar land, gently squeezing other's hand.

[lookedinfinite]

starting one is an interesting thought. one that briefly lingers in her mind like choking on it, struggling to wrap around it. she's never been permanent - and some part of her fears she never shall be. but with chloe it's the closest she has ever come: as if frozen in the heartbeat where tide && shore are the same thing, clinging to each other. "it'll all become clear as we work out what we love and want to do." though most of her future feels already planned - or, at least, the fact she'll be going into genetics like mary is has already been decided. "what do you think you'll want to be?"

"Yeah. We can always become a part of an organisation or start one. That feels like something that we could do." Chloe could just picture it now, ever the optimist just with practical tendencies too. Scientist in her eternally reaching for the stars, for the unknown, for furthering knowledge far into the beyond if possible. She knows though that it's likely their discoveries will be small, but that doesn't mean that their hearts and their aims couldn't be. "I'm sure there are lots of advocacy groups out there. We can change the world that way. One step at a time, keep out of the messiness of politics at least a little bit, right?"

[lookedinfinite]

[ welcome hug ] a hug given to someone as a form of greeting from @chloevlinder

there's barely any delay, only heartbeats between moments, between her opening door and the speed at which chloe's arms wrap around her. it's a relief: how at least one of them knows how to initiate contact without hesitation, how unlike her chloe smells of home. there's no hospital scents clinging to chloe's hair, no coma in bright shining eyes. warmth is so tight around her that maeve can barely breathe... yet it's the perfect way to snap her into the moment.

"so I have the right address." she teases onto sister's shoulder, giving her a minute before half stepping back, needing to look at her even if she doesn't entirely break contact. instead gently reaching to tuck hair behind chloe's ears, "can I get a cup of tea, or are we staying in koala mode a little longer?"

[lookedinfinite]

" you said you didn't have one… so i figured i'd get it for you. " from @chloevlinder

there's hesitation in her movements, in the way her fingers pause mid unwrapping present. even before coma she should be used to the way sister won't allow her to be entirely alone - how she insists on maeve allowing herself the same magic others find in the season. and, if they're being honest... maeve has no doubt there must have been moments where chloe thought they'd never get another christmas like this again. sat on couch, maeve's legs curled under herself, crochet blanket spread out over both of them.

"you're right, I never did have one." her laugh is full of amusement, pulling toy wand from packaging. foster care hardly allowed for sentimentality over objects and mary had seen toys as a waste of precious time. still wrist swishes, star at the end of crystal length shimmering in the light. "it's the prettiest wand, I promise to only cast good magic with it."

[lookedinfinite]

" i just want to make sure you're okay. " from @chloevlinder

they worry about each other so much, maybe too much, and yet who else is there to do it? a thankless, endless job that requires too much effort and heart for most of the world to ever bother. they're both complicated creatures - hard, in their own ways, to ever properly learn how to navigate. again a thing that too many have labelled a flaw: chloe so vibrant, so charming it's hard for some to imagine her ever faltering.

maeve so silent, so sharp, it's hard for some to imagine how deeply she feels.

"I'm always fine." still teen moves on couch, shuffling to make space for sister, holding blanket up a little in offering. "for real, I promise. it's nice to be back even if mary is..." suffocating. "how are you? it feels with uni and everything I've barely spoken to you like we used to." christmas break is as good a reason as any, even if she feels bad about own absence.

[lookedinfinite]

🍎 go apple-picking from @chloevlinder

it was, by now, a yearly tradition. no matter how old they got - no matter where their lives were based or what filled their time. it was one of the only days through the year that was truly entirely theirs: a tradition that held far more weight than it should have. yet smile came to lips, pulling jacket around herself tighter and simply focussing on the crunching of leaves beneath her boots.

out here, at least, unlike the halls at university... it felt good to be nobody but them.

"what do you reckon, clo? I'll make those apple pancakes you used to love, you make the apple flapjacks?" fingers brush along wide stem of nearby tree, simply focussed on the texture. "we haven't decorated a pie together in years."

[lookedinfinite]

" it's not as bad as it looks. " from @chloevlinder

panic crosses features - a subtle storm over usual calmness, her usual ability to keep her worries and her thoughts far from the surface. she knows how to hide everything... until, of course, love gets involved. and what greater love is there than that for a sister? so maeve makes no effort to stop herself from stepping closer, centuries of history around her throat like a noose as her hands move to gently shift other's head, to get better look.

it's a moment they've dreaded for so long. a moment where it's made clear which of them will be left without the other.

"you're not healing?" her voice is soft, tender, like a child taking in a reality they could never be prepared for. not now. not yet. "how long? how long have you been..." mortal "injured for?"

[lookedinfinite]

" you can tell me anything. " from @chloevlinder

she gave her sister keys for a reason, maeve is sure about that, and yet there are times she forgets. it's hard: to sew together the parts of herself who have spent a lifetime being alone, being solely dependent on herself... and the parts where she does have a family in the form of other woman. they're not little girls anymore. mary would surely find it pathetic, a weakness not worthy of her intelligence.

yet chloe is her sister above all else, just lifting duvet to let other lie with her under the safety of cover.

as children, they used to speak like hours like this. where a barely audible whisper could be heard, where there was no world but them. just the light seeping through green bedding and just a world of their own. "I called off the engagement." maeve murmurs in the end, putting her head on other's shoulder. "I really... I really wanted it to work. to just once be normal."

[lookedinfinite]

for all chloe's wishing or longing, it would be hard to hope harder than maeve does. how she wishes for her very nature to change: for the hard lessons that were drilled into her from her youth to fade enough that she might learn to live without them. she loves chloe more than anything - more than blood or paperwork could ever explain, and it feels as if she'll just be dragging her under along with her if she truly lets sister see the disappointing mess that she views herself with. it was easier when they were kids, when she could view herself through chloe's eyes.

"oh, you make it sound so appealing." she softly laughs all the same, smile still small but vibrant despite its subtlety. "only if the sparkly nails are green or blue. not all of us can pull off being a pastel princess like you."

Chloe giggles softly, and thanks her when Maeve sits down. She does enjoy these moments, sometimes wonders if hoping for more would be greedy. Maeve has always been a beautiful, elusive being. She feels they were closer when they were children, wonders if this happens with all siblings. Physical distance closely followed by that of an emotional nature. She doesn't doubt for one second that they care equally for each other, and is all too aware of how life has affected them both so differently.

"Yes, or like glitter has spit up on you." She smiles. "I do have some non glittery options, you know, but I'm going to add some sparkle now just because you said that. I might even have to give you sparkly nails and everything."