#𓂃 fic : enough for me 𒉽

[arafilez]

ENOUGH FOR ME ㅤㅤㅤ☆ ㅤ —﹙ M.JH ﹚

WHEN ㅤ,ㅤ jaehyun finds you blaming yourself for not trying hard enough !

ㅤㅤ ᶻzㅤ( x reader ) 𓂃 ㅤ angst fluff f2l ㅤ oneshotㅤ warnings kiss, crying ㅤ⋆ ( 1.5k wc ) ㅤ❟❟ㅤ library ㅤ bnd shelfㅤ navi

The drizzle hits your body as you sit quietly in the backyard of your house. The rain increases lightly as you let it soak your clothes not caring a lot anyway. To be out at two in the night in the dark wasn’t something you would usually do but you knew your house is well-guarded.

With university looming around the corner you feel the reality slowly come back. One gap year and it was useless. You are supposed to be the talented child of the family. The one that excelled in everything, and you were, you were that child. Until you weren’t anymore.

“Hey loser, why are you out in the rain?” a whisper sends you out of your trance and you thank everything in the universe for not shrieking as you see the similar puppy-eyes over your fence.

“Myung Jaehyun are you out of your mind?” you whisper-shout all worries leaving your mind for a moment as it focuses on the boy half-hanging in between his and your house fences.

“Only for you baby,” he winks making you roll your eyes. Your neighbour and best friend who is currently hanging on a fence, soaking in rain and can only see a bit in the distant street light can apparently still make time to flirt.

“Would you shut up and get lost? Why are you even here at this time of the night?” You retort, quite panicked at the fact that if he jumps on either side he will be hurt. Not to mention the noise will be a lot and both of your parents will wake up. He signals you towards him making you reluctantly walk towards him cringing at the sound your shoes are making on the wet ground.

“Okay, now when I jump you will hold me!” Jaehyun proposes, ignoring your question, making you stop in your tracks and deadpan, “Absolutely not! We will both fall.” Jaehyun ignores you purposely not even letting you complete the sentence saying, “Think fast!”

“What?” you panic but he is already jumping down as you frantically try to hold him. As soon as his feet hit the ground you slip and fall but he holds you quickly, securing his arm around your waist. A smirk appears on his face as soon as he holds you from falling and he says, “See you didn’t fall on the ground,” a beat of silence passes as you stare at him, hyper-aware of the proximity before he adds, “You just fell for me!”

“For fuck’s sake,” you murmur under your breath, pushing yourself off him as he silently giggles. You sit down on the back-stairs again but Jaehyun pushes you lightly forcefully making a place for him too.

“Why are you sad?” he whispers lightly as you explain everything to him. At other times you would try to refute first, but it was the dead of the night, the rain felt cold and your sleep was catching up with you. You were tired, very tired, emotionally and physically. So you ranted everything to him, slowly finding yourself telling things you have only ever told yourself within the four walls of your room.

Your parents weren’t happy with the above ninety per cent in your annual exams, you could have tried more. You didn’t try enough. You took a gap year to do better results in the university entrance exam only to end up not getting in your desired one.

And as soon as you faced the fact you were hit with another from everyone in your family, “You didn’t try hard enough.” Your parents told you again, how you are basking in self-satisfaction of trying hard enough.

“But I did try hard,” you choke and look down adding, “Just because I didn’t get in, doesn’t mean I didn’t try hard.” You felt bad now, for being self-satisfied even, but you were. You did try. And you were happy. But now it feels like a luxury to be happy.

A tear rolls down your cheek as soon as Jaehyun takes you in his embrace. Maybe it was everything, the long night, the fact that your parents have to pay a lot of fees which could have been reduced if you had studied harder, or just the fact that not a single person believes in you.

Not a single person told you that it is okay. Not a single person told you that you did try hard enough and that it is okay to fail once.

“How many times have you failed?” Jaehyun holds you by your shoulder as a slow tear rolls down your cheek and you sniff, “This time.” Jaehyun pads your cheeks with his soaked shirt as he looks at you and softly replies, “Not even once, sure you had your downs but you made it up in the most important exam.”

Your slow sniffles get washed away as the rain hardens but Jaehyun keeps talking, “And you did not even fail this time, you weren’t in the top ranks, that isn’t failing.”

“It is just, am I selfish Jae? Am I selfish for thinking I did try enough? Am I really basking in self-satisfaction? Can’t I be happy with my results for once? I know I tried a lot,” your voice becomes smaller with each word in the sentence and his heart pangs at how sad and depressed you seem. You were the brightest and happiest person he had ever seen but now he can’t help but wonder. Is that all a mask to hide this?

“You are not selfish, at all. You can be happy, you deserve to be happy and I know you tried hard,” he speaks up, eyes roaming all over your face. Now that his eyes have adjusted to the dark he can see it all, the tear-stained face, the puffy cheeks, red eyes and swollen lips. Another pang hits his heart as he presses his hands to your cheeks and whispers, “Why are you torturing yourself like this?”

“Do you know how much money my parents have to pay for my fees now?” your lips quiver at the mere thought and all thoughts of being the useless child come back to you but Jaehyun is faster as he holds your face and makes you face him.

“Your life isn’t over, you can study, and then pay them back, I know you feel bad, but you are just starting university, I know you will make them proud one day,” Jaehyun says as you stare at him, tears blurring your eyes.

Maybe it was the high of the night, or the fact that you kept everything bottled up for so long or the fact Jaehyun’s touch felt so soft and reassuring but you found yourself liking the night for once. You could see the boy who crossed a fence in the dead of the night for you even though he was soaked and comforting you and for once you felt you were important to someone.

Someone cared for you. Not your academics and your wins.

“I like you, Jaehyun,” you blurt and cover your mouth in shock. This was definitely not how you wanted to confess, not that you had ever decided to confess anyway but Jaehyun holds your hand and presses a soft peck on your wet lips saying, “Good, I like you too.” If his heart was beating out of his ribcage he hid it really well.

Your cheeks feel warm at his loving stare and you gasp as he smiles softly and you do it too feeling a lot better than before. It was weird and sweet at the same time but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Trust yourself, know that you did well, and even if everyone is against you just believe in yourself, you are by your side,” he pauses, holds your hand and a moment of silence falls before he adds, “And me too. I am by your side forever too.”

“Thanks, Jae,” you sniffle making him coo in adoration and he dabs his wet sleeves under your cheeks and giggles saying, “Now no more crying and only sleeping.” You salute him mockingly making him break into a silent laugh and when you see his scrunched face under the low light that makes him look ethereal you can’t help but feel happy too.

As he gets ready to climb the fence he turns around and says, “And also remember two other things, one, this,” he presses his lips to yours and you stumble a little but kiss him back with fervour. His hands travel down, gripping your waist as he presses your body to yours and you run your hands trying to untangle his messy and wet hair. Raindrops fall down your lips, getting in your kiss and accentuating his taste and you wish you could live in that moment forever.

As you break, you take a deep breath, biting your lips slowly loving the aftertaste and a slow, giddy smile takes over his face as his voice is hoarse when he says, “And two, remember to rub the ground with your shoe, we don’t want footprints now, do we?”

ARA'S NOTES ㅤ,ㅤ i am back with another self-indulgent fic lmaoo but also i am so sorry for being here with late fics, uni is uni-ing hard T~T !

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