#｡･ﾟﾟ･ — 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 : seelu

[gatheredfates]

— wish.

Shadow of the moon, I see you in me. I feel like I'm burning when I'm with you. ����

[gatheredfates]

—Stardust.

(Count)Down to Dawntrail [ShB]

[gatheredfates]

🖊

Seelu knows she will eventually go insane.

It is not a question of if, it is a question of when.

There was a choice she was presented with when she first encountered the 'stranger' with the bleeding heart; a darker knowledge that, though she did not quite understand it's greater machinations, told her that pledging herself to it would free and doom her both.

Was she not already doomed? She did not know her home among the trees; she had been passed down through occupational force to occupational force like well-worn trinket, weighed and traded like gold. She was fed, clothed and bathed, but what of that was a life? Half of it she saw from the bars of an iron cage rattling aimlessly down charred paths - 'the men will be pleased to see you', said whatever madame or lord held sway over her - and it was all she could do to be comforted by the sheer vacuum of space that lay in the gaps of stars.

Somewhere, there was nothing. For it wasn't like she wanted to vanish, she simply wanted to have nothing happen to her at all.

When he promised that to her, the chaos and the stasis - the power and insanity - she took it without a second thought. She clawed her way to freedom bloodied and beautiful, but she was alive. 'You will see unimageable horrors,' he tried to warn her, but she saw them already. 'You will find shadows in the edges that aren't there.' But she would also see the stars.

What he should have told her was that he would never let her go. She was his first mistake, a 'kindness' from a creature who did not know the word. He would bring her back again and again.

Even when he shouldn't.

Even when it was wrong.

Even when he had to realign her skull himself. Even when she opened her eyes, a cosmos of floating lights, blinded by his gift.

He will not let go. But she will go insane.

[gatheredfates]

The hair from [redacted] looks SO pretty on Miss Seelu.

[gatheredfates]

Star room 2.0 verses star room 1.0.

I'm actually more excited for the pillars than I am for the phasmoscape, ngl. I worked SUPER hard on trying to make the skylight work with limited resources.

I plan on tweaking other little bits slowly - but! Happy, happy.

[gatheredfates]

Do you guys ever like... have vastly different interpretations of the same concept across different characters? Case in point, I love the void. I cannot get enough of it. I have three characters (El, Seelu and Z) that all deal with it and another... sort of in the wings? Iunno if I'll use her - not the point.

Anyway, for example, I see Elandervier's void manifesting in the same way I see a lot of her concepts surrounding being Gelmorran and a bog witch; in ooze, in goo and in shadows that 'stick' to things. I totally imagine people have walked into her cave in the past and she's just been suspended from her roof half slime half woman. Basically this art fundamentally altered my brain chemistry when it comes to her.

Seelu, by comparison, is space and the gaps in stars. It's vast nothingness in that empty space between dreams. It's animals that look wrong; deer and hares with extra eyes, the stopping by woods on a snowy evening poem and that sense of wrongness you feel when you know something you really shouldn't. If you ever got The Puzzle Box of Yogg-Saron you know what I'm talking about, the phrase "have you had the dream again? A black goat with seven eyes that watches from the outside."

Z is vampirism. I'm not even going to try and be like romantic about it because that's exactly what he is. He is entirely self-indulgent and adheres to a lot of the traditional lore (you have to invite him in, drinks blood/aether, not a huge fan of the sunlight, etc.) and draws a lot of inspiration from this kind of art (gore tw here please be mindful it's an exposed ribcage).

Then my other character is more like... shadows and smoke. Snakes and spiders and things that unsettle you. That shiver across your spine accompanied by the phrase 'oh, so someone walked over your grave?'. Elandervier can be bugs and arachnids if she wants, but generally they adhere to things that dwell in caves and places underground.

I just think it's neat!!

[gatheredfates]

Each character (at least three, Sea!) has five minutes to pen a last message before they're transported to a different shard. They won't be able to return or communicate with the Source for a year. Who do they write to? What do they write?

MAN. One of these characters is so easy to write for and the others are difficult in different ways.

The easiest would be Z. His message would be pinned to some door in Trioa with the words 'GET FUCKED SUCKERS' before he's transported to a shard that has a plentiful amount of aether for him to consume.

Unless, for some reason, he's not on the Thirteenth, in which he probably wouldn't write anything at all and be trying to work out if he was going back as he hangs onto the ceiling like a cat.

I think Seelu would be the next easiest, in that her letter would be cut off midway through as she leaves explicit instructions for Unei on how she wants the parlour maintained in her absence. This is troublesome as, although her ward knows... most of the relics within, there are those that Seelu prefers to monitor herself because they are delicate, particular or testy. Chaos flows through Firelight Trading Company. No one is surprised she didn't tell her loved ones that she loves them, she was too busy.

If Z is there, he begins to gnaw on the relics until someone chases him off.

In a lot of ways I feel like the rest wouldn't write letters at all? If they knew they were leaving the Source for a year, I think each would have an element of panic/excitement that prohibits them from putting pen to paper in a way that feels eloquent and final.

Kor would probably write 'I fucking hate my life, [explanation of what she thinks is happening], see ya', but that's about it.

[gatheredfates]

CHARACTER'S - CUPCAKE EDITION ✧˖°.

I'm calling out @riftdancing, not so much because she tagged me to this but, in seeing her cupcakes a couple of weeks ago, I was determined to get around to doing my own.

I'm not a foodie at all, so my descriptions will be insanely lacking. I imagine Seelu's is a taro-inspired cupcake that embodies her connection to the wood and stars, Azuma's is some kind of citrus (likely pomelo or yuzu) with cherry blossom accents and Sarrai's is... listen, it's a sugar trip. It's not for the faint of hearted.

Tagging: @thebrassbat, @silentletterwords, @eorzeanflowers, @starrysnowdrop, @thefreelanceangel, @fair-fae, @unmeiha, @archaiclumina, @fantasmagoriam and anyone else who wants to do it! If you'd like to be tagged in any dash games I participate in, I heavily recommend you like my permanent interaction call here! You can find the cupcake maker here. Have fun!

[gatheredfates]

🙋‍♀️- is my muse inquisitive? (For the first three that come to mind? :3)

✧˖°. HEADCANON MEME / accepting!

ASHE. Yes, but in the way curiosity killed the cat LOL. Being the adventurous sort, she's the first one to put her hand up for a mission and the first to hurl herself into danger with a 'fuck around and find out' attitude. Despite being inquisitive she's not that smart about it, and her idea of discovery is closer to the metaphor of throwing something at the wall and seeing what sticks. Her husband will admit very honestly the reason he became a doctor was less an altruistic desire to help people, but from a need to patch her up after she's gone and punched a monster in the face.

SEELU / ELANDERVIER. I know you said three... HOWEVER, my argument is that these two are inquisitive for the same reasons that lend themselves to different, negative results. I've mentioned before that these two were difficult to distinguish at first given XIV has no difference between 'fel' and 'void' (Seelu was a draenei shaman who fell in love with a void elf slowly turning into an eldrich horror and El was a nightborn balancing her addictions to fel and arcane), and I've kept a lot of these aspects in their characterisations whilst tailoring them to an xiv universe.

Seelu prayed to the stars so fervently that, when an ancient voidsent found her caged in a Garlean encampment, her rational was that it was better to ensnare herself in the unknown than stay a prisoner to tyrants. Even now, when the negative result of that initial curiosity is the slow loss of sanity, the freedom she gained to live and learn was a far greater boon. She and Arth have an exceedingly complicated relationship (its the embodiment of 'when is a monster not a monster? oh, when you love it.' ) but she doesn't regret reaching her hand out to a creature that truthfully promised freedom at a cost.

El, by comparison, was always an outcast. While her family did their best to assimilate to Ishgard she was always considered 'other', and that constant rejection by the greater gentry lead her down the path of ancient Gelmorra and, by extension, exploration into the magics dangerous and benign that chased underground in the first place. Being one of the last Duskwights to leave the place made her feel more connected to it, and because of that she felt little remorse in taking up darker arts. She's equal parts 'if I can't have love, I want power' and 'I am the monster you made me'. Though she had enough clairvoyance to know the void was 'wrong', and pledging herself to those forces was dangerous, she did it anyway. Honestly, up until her desperation pact during the Final Days, she was incredibly smart about it. She didn't return to Gelmorra, but rather holed herself up in Dravania and made a name for herself as a bog witch meticulous in each and every pact she made (demon or otherwise). Had Rexonus not gotten wind of it and used Arth to release her, she probably would have stayed out there and dealt with it herself. Because of that, she also has no qualms about diving into situations — particularly of a magical nature — that others would shun for being dangerous or taboo.

SARRAI. Sarrai's just funky. Having an obsession with death leads you down weird and wacky paths seldom charted by other people and, much like Seelu/Elandervier, she is naturally curious of the things that other people don't want to talk about (in this case, raging existentialism). She's grown very used to people looking at her like she has a second head as she retrieves teeth from fight clubs dressed in high heels and a pink fur coat, and has no qualms inquring on people or concepts she finds interesting. She knows she's weird. If you don't like her, that's a you problem. She will continue down her path with her head held high and a cocktail in her fruity little hand.

[gatheredfates]

Altitis Edition ✧˖°.

Tagged by: @riftdancing / @thefreelanceangel - thanks so much!

FAVOURITE.

Oh man, that is like asking someone to pick their favourite child. All of my characters are my 'favourites' for different reasons. I think, if I had to narrow it down, I'd default to the big three: Ashe, Azuma and Koret.

Ashe is my content main; she is the character who has everything as far as mounts/titles/etc. She was my mental health cleanse coming from WoW, and her entire existence as a character is someone I can escape into when the darker aspects of my other characters may be too much to deal with. She's your bog-standard adventurer; she's always up for a challenge, nothing complicated happens in her life, and she just wants to hang out and meet new people. I love her spark and how she follows the beat of her own drum, whilst also being a caring friend to those around her.

Azuma was my first character in xiv, and really the only one that exists just in this universe. I wouldn't have met @riftdancing if not for her, and the friendship she has with Siyoh mimics the same I have for her player - even if we didn't have the luxury of knowing each other since we were children. I'm far shyer in sharing stuff for her than I ought to be, but her quiet strength of will is a comfort to me and something I love playing.

Kor... is feral. Who knew a off-handed OC made for WoW would turn into my absolute hyper fixation. I love her strength and snark. I love how, on the one hand, she doesn't give a fuck what people think about her whilst holding the opinions of her loved ones in high regard. Much like Azuma, the bonds I have made with people in writing her mean the world to me and that's why I've played her for so long.

OLDEST.

Aryele. Originally called Arianna — I made her when I was ten years old and injected her into nearly any roleplay that would have me. She's gone through a couple of name changes (Aryele/Aryette on WoW, for example, just to name a few), but the fundamental crux of her character as a wandering mender has stayed the same.

NEWEST.

Technically Elandervier. She was the last OC I made in WoW, though a few other characters have preceded her since then, but her adaptation to XIV has been the most recent change to my roster. I found it difficult to have her and Seelu, for example — as well as trying to differentiate her between other characters whose defining traits were 'void-aligned' verses 'fel-aligned' (El was a Nightborne Warlock in WoW, which is why I have her Gelmorran heritage, but void and fel are two clearly defined factions in WoW). I'm really happy with how she's turned out, though. She's quickly shooting up to be one of my favourite OC's.

MEANEST.

If we're talking characters who will say hurtful shit or just be a bit of an asshole? Kor. If we're talking characters who will actively undermine you for their own ends? Elandervier or Z. The latter are closer to villains as opposed to Kor, who is just aloof and bitchy as a surface level protection. Z is a voidsent with heavy inspiration from vampirism - he will take what he wants from who he wants with reckless disregard. El has bargained with said voidsent (including Z) for most of her life and will offer sacrifice and placation to keep her power. I think the major difference is that Z hunts for sport, whereas El will keep to herself unless you disturb her or go out of your way to be a nuisance in her space.

SOFTEST.

Aryele or Alaice, but they both have different reasons. Alaice is Ary who went through trauma but kept her softness, whereas Ary is just blanketly soft but knows herself enough to not fall into some of the trappings that Alaice did. Azuma is not too far behind, but her soft is masked behind a layer of Doman formalities and trauma that tends to make it seem forced for those who don't know the culture well.

MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH.

Kor. Next question. (I think El and Z can be standoffish but they're more likely to say nothing where Kor is just 'fuck you, fuck off.') ...Eve is also a close contender.

DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE / DEROGATORY)

Some of you might remember when @riftdancing did her Altitis edition and mentioned Poki twice here... Ashe is her adopted mum. It runs in the family.

I JEST, THOUGH. Ashe is not book smart but she's emotionally intelligent. I like to think of her as a character who really 'sees' people for who they are; cutting through the fat and bravado (positive or negative) people use to cloak themselves. She gets a good read on people quickly, even if she doesn't understand their specific situation, and that makes her easy to talk to/interact. She's the kind of person who will admit honestly and earnestly she probably has no idea what they're going through, but she'll listen and help where she can.

SMARTEST.

Probably Elandervier. I think Seelu would be a close contender, but she didn't have much of an education growing up and has had to work hard for the intelligence she now possesses. El would simply 'know' what something is, whereas Seelu would work hard to find the correct tome and cultural knowledge.

HORNIEST.

Sarrai.

I will not elaborate. Sarrai is the kind of person who loves unabashedly and will return affection to those who give it to her in kind. Understandably, she knows there are people who don't give it altruistically but she's lived with an egomaniac capitalist for the better part of eighteen/nineteen years and knows how to 'play the market', so to speak She'll forgive a lot of shortcomings if the dick/strap is good.

CHARACTER YOU'D BANG.

Sarrai. I think she'd treat me nicely but test my limits (in a good way)! DFKGHJDSFGSD. I thirst for Kor probably the most, though.

CHARACTER YOU'D BE IRL BEST FRIENDS WITH.

Ashe or Sarrai, no contest. Sarrai is the world's biggest hype-woman and would be amazing to have in times where I am not feeling my best mentally/physically. She'd be like "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FEEL SAD?? YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL, YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, YOU HAVE FRIENDS WHO ADORE YOU GIRLIE!!! But also get therapy if you need it, you crazy slut."

Ashe would be nice to go on a walk with and just chat about life. She's easy-going and doesn't expect much of the people around her, other than to treat each other kindly and with respect. She's much more active than I would be, though!

Another close contender is Azuma. Much like Ashe, she enjoys easy conversation and good food. She likes to surround herself with people who love her and will go out of her way to maintain relationships with people she cares about.

Tagging: @gaygentofchaos, @dawnstriding, @syerraffxiv, @snakemoltsiren, @dragons-ire, @fist-and-fury-xiv (I know you all have alts, don't look at me), @allyennah, @thefrostflower, @82-99 and anyone else with more alts than sense. If you'd like to be tagged in any dash games I participate in, I heavily recommend you like my permanent interaction call here!

[gatheredfates]

What is your favourite thing about your OC or OCs? Is there something about them of which you are particularly proud?

Little OC Creation Ask List | accepting! | @cadrenebula

Gosh this is so HARD because I could talk about my ocs for hours. I'll try to condense it and like... write one thing I like about each. (And put it under a read-more because WHOO it got long - kudos to people who read to the end)

ASHE - Ashe is my mental health cleanse. I love how unabashedly herself she is, flaws and all; even when doing so goes against the grain of expectation. I love how unwaveringly loyal and empathetic she is. She is emotionally intelligent, and strives to make sure the people around her know that they are appreciated and loved. She has very simple whims/desires, but you don't always need a super complicated character. She has her job, her husband and her friends; she's happy where she is in her life. She's a joy to play because I just have fun with her.

AZUMA - I love Azuma's perseverance despite her disabilities. It's incredibly important to me to feel like I am carving a story out for her in which she has agency despite not being able bodied, and that any choices she makes regarding her disability are not done to 'cure' her. It's like Geordi from Star Trek. Yes, he has a visor that lets him see. Yes, in a futuristic (or, in Azuma's, case magical) world, you could very well write a place where disability could be cured, but that implies that the person with the disability needed to be cured to begin with. While she has trouble walking and has aids to assist her, she is still a full person with wants, needs, desires, etc., and she will seek and uncover those in her own story.

KORET - Ah, my baby. I'm proud of how far she's come. She was a WoW OC made for a singular trope (wolf and lamb) and now she's morphed into her own creature. I love how she's continually discovering things about herself. I'm proud of her for her flaws, and how they can win, but that doesn't stop her from recognising them and trying again. I love how she cares for people - for better or worse, sometimes - and how everything she does comes from a good place, even if it's expressed poorly. It's her strength I admire the most and what I try to draw from in my own trials.

SARRAI - Sarrai is a diva, which makes her so fun to play. Much like Ashe, she is unabashedly herself and doesn't give a fuck about what people thing. Her extroverted nature means I'm rarely just sitting around. She'll be flirting with the bartender, asking someone in the fight pit if she can have their teeth, or pulling another girl onto the dance floor if they look lonely. She's out to have a good time and make friends, which in turn gives me an opportunity to make friends and try to include other roleplayers who may be too shy to engage on their own.

ELANDERVIER - El is basically my gothic fantasy. A powerful, mysterious woman who answers to no one but herself (maybe Rex at this point, begrudgingly) and damn anyone who gets in her way. I enjoy playing a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to get it. She is the embodiment of 'ask for forgiveness, never permission' and brings to the table someone who could just as easily be an antagonist as they could an antihero.

Z - Z is a menace. He's just a fun concept to play in, this character who lives entirely for himself and what he wants. I am proud of the Thirteenth verse I've cultivated for him and Ary. Though it's not canon, it's tragic and angst riddled, and allows me to reclaim two characters who were left broken after their individual stories fell apart. If I'm not writing them for other people, I'm absolutely going to write them for me.

ARYELE - Ary is my oldest character; I have had her since I was ten. Because of that, she's gone through many iterations while always keeping the same kind-hearted core. I love her convictions and I love her quiet strength; I love that she chooses love again and again, even if it's not always the logical choice. She's not afraid to speak her mind and go against people who are more 'powerful' than her, because she ultimately knows herself. She's a familiar comfort to me after all these years.

ALAICE - Alaice was my foray into making a character with a child, which I know can be polarising for some people. However, it's that motherly aspect of her I have come to love the most. Much like Ary, she is a quiet force. She's had to come to know herself through trauma and doesn't let it define her - choosing kindness instead of brutality. She loves her family, does right by her friends and tries constantly to be the best version of herself.

EVELYN - Eve is a mix of Kor and Ashe - she's light-hearted and free spirited, making her fun and easy to play, whilst having just a little bit beneath the surface that keeps her compelling. I'm proud of how far she's come. She left a terrible relationship, traded her wordly possessions for a broken-down ship, and over the years has built it up into something she is proud of - fuck what anyone else things. She can be a bit manipulative at times, which is funny to write, and also very dramatic. She's just fun!

SEELU - I am very proud of the things I'm building for Seelu, but I can't talk much about them yet! My favourite thing is how eerie she is. I have created her to be a character that looks beautiful but also a little... wrong, somehow. She's not evil, but neither is she 'good'; she lives for herself, communes with the wood and indulges in whatever she wants.

ROWAN - Rowan is new, so I'm still finding her voice! I love her spunk. She's a go-getter, despite being completely unfamiliar with wider Eorzea, and takes it on the chin if she gets something wrong. She loves her brother more than anything else. I'd love to have a sibling like her.

[gatheredfates]

20 for the Spotify ask !!

spotify wrapped is HERE! send me a number 1-100 and I’ll tell you the song it corresponds with on my top 100 playlist!

You're the cracks in my hollow bones You're the ache in the back of my throat

Oh, look! The rare Seelu song. This is also an El song for a lot of the same reasons, but I'll talk to it for Seelu because it's the better applicable.

Seelu pledged herself to a god.

Well... that's more of a half-truth. She pledged herself to an ancient, primal-turned voidsent that masqueraded as god but, at the time, she didn't really know much of a difference. Ripped from her Wood, bereft of the connection of the Green Word, she was passed through occupational force to occupational force with only the stars to comfort her. When the shadowy figure known as 'Arthel' came to her and offered her a chance of freedom, she chose to take it despite him warning her it would come at a cost.

He was not intentionally cruel, but his magic was dark and malignant. It gave her the power to break her bars and slaughter her captors, but it also chewed at her sanity and took parts of her sight. That's the thing about rituals — they demand a cost. A little bit of blood; a handful of aether. They tie you somehow to the magic that evokes them. To that end, she would forevermore be tied to Arth.

It's a very complicated relationship. There is a part of her that truly loves him, but there's equally a part of her that is revolted by what he stole. She travelled with him for a time — she regained her sense of self as he, in turn, had enough of a consciousness to try and adapt to Eorzea despite his corruption on the Thirteenth (he's loosely tied to my Ary/Z stuff, hehoo), but she couldn't stay. He cares deeply for her and accepts his part in what has and will become of her, but both acted as per their nature. Arth cannot let go of Seelu and she will not stop chasing the things that will unravel her in the end.