#⸻ ob-la-di ob-la-da ! ( 𝐎𝐎𝐂 )

[intizzies]

i only ever come on here to rant abt nysm 3 updates now. but u know when the media youre hyperfixated with continues and ur fav character doesn't come back???

i am broken inside GET LIZZY BACK RN OR I WILL GO INTO A CATATONIC STATE she's been my blorb for the past 8 months honestly best time for nysm fans worst time for lula may fans

for context she is like the Only Horseman not confirmed returning and I am going to lose it. she's like one of the most loved characters according to the incessant "research" (stalking) I have done of all the official socials going back to the release of 2 in 2016 UGH

someone at lionsgate better see this and cater to me or else!!! i have strongly worded emails ready to send don't TEST me

[intizzies]

hey it's me why did I have to get hyperfixated on a character from a dumb STUPID magician movie franchise when they're just about to start filming the third instalment after like 7 years of radio silence and my fav probably won't be in it at this point :))) i am so nauseous actually!! why did my brain say oh yeah this is a good idea u little bitch I hate u (me)

anyway bring back jack too

and henley ffs bring them all back or I march on lionsgate im not playing i will fly over there from the swampland shithole of england (bristol)

like it's great that jesse is excited that's sooo good but fr haha might lose me marblessss hehe

[intizzies]

PHEW ok it's been 6 months since i watched nysm/2 for the first time and got extremely obsessed. this hyperfixation doesn't look like it's going away anytime soon.

anyway is it a thing that ppl share their fics on here? I can't remember I haven't been here for a long time. If you fancy it, the first 3 chapters of 'Red Or White?' are up on ao3

I haven't published anything in over 10 years, since i was like 13, so.... YIKES this is probs bad

-

This is a direct sequel to nysm 2 and i am trying really hard to make all of the main characters have equal footing but i just can't resist psychoanalysing lula she is so interesting to me i love her so much bye

[intizzies]

im 20k words into this nysm sequel fanfic SHOULD I PUBLISH IT :/ idk if imma have the time to finish it but like.... nysm 3 is on the horizon and i dont wanna fuck with it once it comes out. for context its very slow paced and the ships are subtle as hell but it's lula/jack & atlas/dylan (& henley/oc but theyre established <33)

[intizzies]

hi nysm 3 has been officially greenlit and is moving forward but dave & lizzy have yet to be confirmed so I'm currently having several breakdowns per day until the fact how are u guys

[intizzies]

lula & her parents time HAHAHAHAHA im fine

so i had to get mae's help with this bc I didn't want it to be too dramatic and over the top but we have canon confirmation that her mother stabbed her father right so I was like hm.

but I've come to the conclusion for my lula that their marriage was rocky for a long time but they stayed together for lula, who they both loved. lula's mother, georgia, has several undiagnosed mental health conditions, which I might go into another time, but it resulted with a lot of trauma for little lula involving calming her mother down and dealing with things she shouldn't have necessarily been exposed to.

georgia's ongoing psychosis got so bad that she was convinced that lula's father, adrien, was cheating on her. things escalated one night and lula, being the anxious attachment coded child she is, tried to intervene (more on why in another post). things escalated even more and georgia, in a state of disassociation, became violent and stabbed adrien in the neck with a butcher's knife. this did end up killing adrien, as georgia fled from the house and lula, being in shock, was frozen for a fair while before she managed to call the ambulance (she was 12).

her mother ended up being admitted to a high security care facility instead of a prison and lula went to live with her grandmother, where she started learning magic as a coping mechanism for the trauma her young brain had been through. she and her grandmother have a good relationship and she's still alive, so lula calls her every so often.

she goes to see her mother in hospital every year, on georgia's birthday.

ok I know that did end up being dramatic BUT all of the horsemen have trauma in their lives I mean there's a reason they ditched society to be delinquent magicians

while she is an oversharer, she usually overshares to alleviate tension and she copes with trauma through humour. I don't think she'd include any emotional depth in her retelling of the event or any of the fallout, and I don't think she tells anyone about visiting her mother in hospital. she IS open about talking about feelings, a lot, she encourages over communication, but when it comes to her own stuff, she doesn't like to show she's struggling. she wears her emotions on her sleeves, so it is a little obvious. she hates that she's so easy to read.

[intizzies]

just a single horseman..... just one... that i can write lula with 🥲 just an iccle horseman...

[intizzies]

ig i shld put smth here hehe ok so i wanna write real bad but I'll only be writing with a small amount of ppl and doing a small amount of threads. im not gonna be looking at the dash & i shall just be going off notifs - i probs won't post any memes etc.

feel free to unfollow me if that's not ur speed!! I just am using this purely for a writing platform, not social 🩷 if u wanna be friends hmu on disco / in the ims!!

[intizzies]

thinkin bout the generational trauma passed down through the baran/daniels family that lula is terrified she'll inevitably fall victim to

those of u who know my lula know that her birth name was lucy may daniels. daniels was her father's surname, and her mother's name is georgia baran. she lived with her grandmother after her father died, and she is her father's mother, so a daniels. she's lovely, although didn't know where to put her own grief for her son, and was a little distant when lula was a teenager.

georgia baran is another story altogether. if she'd got the help she needed, she would never have acted the way she did. it's a really sad story tbh. essentially, georgia and her older sister, mina, lived with their mother, esther, when they were younger.

their father was often away at work and when he came home it was fine, and esther would be the perfect housewife and mother. but when he was gone, she tormented the girls day and night. she was a narcissist, she was unpredictable and needed help herself. but back then, help didn't exist attainably for her wealth. the cycle of abuse stemmed back to her own mother and her brother, georgia's uncle. esther sent the girls out to work as soon as she possibly could, and always took whatever they earned.

when georgia and mina arrived home from work, they never knew what mood their mother would be in. It was a daily dose of terror for the both of them. sometimes she would be suspiciously kind, the sort that is never trustworthy, the sort that expects a favour to be returned. often, she would be in a bad mood, she would have been drinking, and there would come the screaming and the throwing of plates and chairs, the constant threats to her own safety and to the safety of the girls. the constant berating, the calling of names, often comparing them to devil children.

georgia and mina were creative children and were talented at gymnastics and dance. they learned from each other and from school while they were there. they worked well together, and they were always plotting to run away and join the circus. and that's just what they did, as soon as georgia turned 18. they ran away and joined a circus passing through town, The Arcane Elysium.

the two stayed with the circus for years as an aerialist double act, the storm and the hurricane, but they never quite healed from what they went through as children. mina developed ptsd and bpd, and unfortunately became a source of further trauma for georgia, who was on watch for her most nights, frightened of any harm she might put herself in. mina was self sabotaging. she'd go off with strange men, she'd drink herself into a stupor, and she'd always end up standing too close to a river.

mina had a son with an eclectic man in one of the regular cities they stopped in. he was a magician, and she had fun with him and his friends. but as soon as she gave birth, she returned to the circus and left him in the arms of his father.

georgia always believed this was when mina tipped over the edge. she took her own life a few years later, wading into the sea.

georgia met adrian just after this happened. he was a life insurance adjuster. it turned out mina's will left her with enough money to retire from performing and put everything behind her. georgia baran became georgia daniels and she locked everything away in a tiny corner of her mind, never wanting to open it again. georgia and adrian were happy in a quiet way, although he admired her spark and passionate outbursts now and again.

when they had lucy, they went to go and see the cirque du soleil every year.

it was lucy that broke georgia's spirit. someone had said that on the witness stand after the incident, and lula had never forgotten it. lucy was louder than her parents, she was a performer like her mother. like her aunt. it terrified georgia. she would punish her by locking her in the basement like she locked her past away. lucy reminded her too much of mina, her determination, her sense of humour.

georgia started to break slowly, cracks beginning to form. she would forget things she'd done that day, and there were times she would drift around the house completely unresponsive. sometimes, she would snap, and scream, and become hysterical at the push of a button with no hope of calming down, even after lucy would beg and beg. it was clear she had a dissociative disorder, postpartum depression, c-ptsd- and needed help. adrian was none the wiser. he just assumed she was changing, and he loved her, and didn't want to leave. so, he pretended everything was alright. the circles around his eyes told other stories.

all of it led up to the nervous breakdown georgia experienced, believing adrian was cheating on her, ending his life with a knife in front of 10 year old lucy. the trial was long, and the sentence was high security institutionalisation.

georgia has days where she's lucid, days where she's aggressive and can't be contained so is left instead, and days where she is somewhere else entirely. she has the beginnings of slightly early onset dementia forming. lula visits her every year on her birthday. every year, lula shuts off for a week around the day.

lula will never have kids. she knows what happens to the baran daughters. some people were never meant to be mothers. she doesn't think she is, either. this cycle of trauma ends with her.

but she's terrified she'll hurt those around her and one day slowly begin to crack like the women before her did. and that's why she locks lucy down in the basement with the big clock that she used to watch, waiting for the hatch to open and her father to let her out again.

[intizzies]

what is lula's tarot card and why is it the sun?

so recently I've been struggling with what tarot card i'd give lula on account of her not having one in canon, and I ended up settling on the sun. not only am I thrilled bc this is one of my two most fav cards (the other being the world), but also I just feel like I've reached a natural answer.

I've collected some descriptions of the card and it's meaning to support my hc ~

so my thoughts here are pretty much everything reflected above. lula joins the horsemen and immediately provides a sort of new and different energy to the ego-driven and generally quite conflicting personalities of the existing horsemen (not including henley- altho I'm sure she'd agree I wish we had seen them interact).

lula is boundless and optimistic and very enthusiastic (typical ENFP behaviour, not to toot my own horn but us ENFPs are very Sun Energy). she shines very brightly, very confidently, but her confidence isn't drawn from a place of insecurity or pure egotistical base. It's instead drawn from a genuine need to spread happiness and make people laugh, and a need to find her own place in life.

the whole journey Lula goes on is one of finding her place in other people's lives. I think this is one of the more negative aspects of her psyche, and the fact she relies on other people absorbing and reflecting her own energy back at her for validation is a little worrying. but she does know that her purpose is to help people in her own way, and I think that she immediately does so for the horsemen.

I don't want to compare but the ending of the first movie compared to the second was a different ball game altogether. In the second, because of the insider character development we experienced, they're all very much Together and happy together. there's still excitement about the eye, but it's actually focused more on them as a unit, working as a single organism as Dylan would say.

Well, they don't start working as their single organism until Lula shows up and acts as this weird bonding agent. You can kind of tell they needed someone forward and emotionally available enough to get right in their psyches and wiggle around a bit for the team to work properly again (and for perhaps the first time on a more deep emotional level as a whole). This is DEFINITELY sun behaviour, just coming in and blinding everyone with positive thinking and outlandish behaviour while also displaying a need for connection and empathy

Just to top things off, look at how The Sun ties into the Fool's journey!

Lula is literally optimism personified, she never gives in, she tells the horsemen not to give in, because that's not what they do. And she's right, and she puts everyone back on the right course. She is a constant "we CAN do this, we WILL be successful, things WILL work out" messenger and I love that for her.

I like to think she brings a rejuvenating energy to everyone who kinda seems a bit flat and discouraged from the lack of the eye's involvement with everything. anyway that's me done bye

[intizzies]

stemming from my last hc (see this post), lula has an extreme attachment to the song "lucy in the sky with diamonds" by the beatles. of course, that was the song her parents would sing to her to lull her to sleep, and that was the song they'd sing together in the car on road trips.

her favourite version of this song is from the love album, which was produced for the cirque du soleil in 2006. this is her favourite album in fact, ever. (due to me writing lula timelessly, this album released when she was a child- shhh timelines make sense in my head)

after all,

[intizzies]

hc time ~

lula may's real name is lucy may daniels.

she changed it legally when she turned 18 and has never answered to her previous name since (apart from when her grandmother slips up, but she always called lula "lulu" anyway). she never felt like the girl she used to be, especially before the incident with her parents, so she wanted her identity to match. she did still want to keep that part of her with her, though - as it will always be with her - so she kept may, but now as her surname.

by the time she reaches the age of 31, only 10 people on the planet know about lucy may daniels.

her mother, who she visits in the high security hospital once a year. she named lula after her great aunt lucy. may was chosen by her father - another reason she kept that name.

her grandmother, who took her in when she was 12.

dylan, who needed to see her birth certificate in order to run background checks and to forge any legal documents for when they go into hiding. in turn, li and bu bu also know.

jack, who (concerned) followed her to the hospital on her annual visits after she had been acting off for the past few days. (lil fic to come on that one)

atlas and merritt, who she told a little while after Jack because she hates keeping secrets and that one was gnawing at her.

thaddeus bradley attempted to look into her identity (hence this file below), but didn't find it as necessary as he'd thought, and opted to leave it alone to give her some privacy. with the eye being the eye, he found out anyway after everything went down.

[intizzies]

lula's anxious-ambivalent attachment style THOUGHTS

so I mentioned on my dramatic parents meta that lula has an anxious attachment style. to push that further, I'd say she has an anxious-ambivalent one.

her parents did try their best, but her father was overwhelmed with constant stress and her mother was extremely emotionally and mentally unstable.

sometimes, they would have amazing family days and everything would be picture perfect. lula felt loved, and seen, and those days are what she searches for constantly in her life. the feeling of someone wanting to be with her, be around her, is what she craves most.

sometimes, their reactions to her would be hostile. her mother would be too consumed by her own uncontrollable emotion when something went wrong that lula would end up comforting her every time, sometimes for hours on end. for example, if she got tripped up at school and told georgia about it, her mother would fly into a panic, blame herself, and become unstable.

on the other hand, adrian was a little distant sometimes. she would know when he was in a bad mood. he would become increasingly more detached the worse her mother got. lula truly felt as if she was on her own, and it was her responsibility to parent them.

the lack of consistency from them built a tendency in her subconscious to constantly seek validation and to constantly mediate any sort of conflict. it even extends to awkward silences (she really does feel the intense need to fill said silences with senseless rambling).

being funny is her hook and being the counsellor is her constant state. she's hyper aware of how everyone is feeling all of the time and will be uncomfortable until she has talked to them about it.

when coming across conflict, she won't be able to concentrate on anything else until she knows the other person isn't angry with her. this can be very tiring and irritating for the person on the other end of this - especially if they have another attachment style and prefer to be alone to process their feelings.

lula is no stranger to unconscious manipulation in order to feel better. she will do anything to avoid being hurt by those she loves, to make herself feel safe and out of danger of being abandoned.

BIG abandonment issues. there's her constant search for family and constant disappointment in this. the only consistent person in her life is her grandmother before the horsemen and lula knows she hasn't got forever with her.

with the horsemen, she is very scared she's not needed. she forcefully reminds everyone that she DOES belong and she IS a part of this team because, for her, there's no other option. she is terrified that she's expendable, that they'll leave her somewhere with nowhere else to go. she'll do whatever to establish herself, through force, humour, affection, clinging - anything she can.

I must solve these problems because I fix things and it's what I do to feel needed, I must protect my own, I must present myself as a force to be reckoned with, and I must be unmovable, as being unmovable is what will keep me safe and a part of the family I want so desperately to be a part of.

[intizzies]

well I've done it I've read p much every lula inclusive fanfic there is and I have come to the wild conclusion that I love her so much I'm actually willing to be present on t*mblr which is a lot

I have so many unpublished feelings and thoughts i have to get them OUT GET THEM OUT OF ME

[intizzies]

ok imma make myself a little to do list bc I need to get writing again (and it's ok bc I only have like 15 followers and I'm not annoying anyone except my friends this is amazing)

- make lula's icon graphic thingy lord help me

- write starters for lula (2)

- write starter for lambchops (disco)

- post open for jackie

[intizzies]

STARTER  CALL  !!

・ i  may  hop  into  your  ims /  disco  ( if  i  have  it )  to  plot ・ pls  specify  muse  if  you  have  a  pref  in  the  replies