#⭒ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ˗ˏˋ ❝ ᴛᴏ ɪɴᴠᴇɴᴛ; ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴊᴜɴᴋ ❞ ¦ 「 Sheldon 」

[canon-fcdder]

“Do you think we’ll ever - be a couple-couple? ” ( Sheldon/Varian )  

- ✩ { @gamblealife } ✩

{ ☆ } Sitting next to Sheldon on the stoop of his house, hands are clasped on his lap, thumbs twiddling and gaze averted to the side. Lightly biting his bottom lip, shoulders hunch slightly as he feels his face grow hot, stomach churning with indecision. After the latest... outburst conversation between them, it’s difficult to tell what he’s supposed to say now. What exactly IS there to say? It’s not as if he’s ever been in this situation before...

Well, he did have a crush on a woman before. But he doesn’t want to think about that right now, or how awkwardly he had acted around Cassandra. Popping his lips to fill the tense silence, gaze raises up to the sky, making a note of the partly-cloudy sky. Seems like it’s going to rain soon... Maybe they should move inside? Varian supposes that he could suggest they re-enter the lab, but he’s been holed up in there for so long... and the air inside is still filled with suffocating words and memories of how he’d broken down. True, things had ended alright— as them sitting in companionable, if awkward, silence can attest. But still...

Swallowing thickly, he opens his mouth to suggest they retreat before the storm can whip up, but abruptly closes it when Sheldon speaks up first. The question is one that HAD to be asked, but it still takes Varian by surprise. Like many things that had happened today. Looking over at Sheldon with shock, eyes are wide and face is flushed brighter than a rose as he blinks dumbfoundedly, all words escaping his mind in an instant. Lightly licking his dry lips, he emits a weak laugh, tinged with disbelief despite everything they’ve been through so far.

Honestly, he’s still having trouble believing that this isn’t all some weird dream brought on by inhaling too many fumes in the lab... Swallowing thickly, a hand raises to rub the back of his neck as he bashfully averts his gaze.  “Heh... Well, I- ahem... I guess that depends?” Looking over at Sheldon, blue hues twinkle with hope even as his face floods with heat. Sliding a bit closer, hand moves to rest next to Sheldon’s, a finger lightly brushing against the other teen’s, “Is this your way of... asking me to be your boyfriend?” 

Hand slides over Sheldon’s hand, fingers interlacing as he rests against the other male’s side, head turning to fully face his friend. Ocean hues are soft, yet nervous, Varian’s stomach fluttering anxiously as he waits to hear Sheldon’s response. Despite everything pointing towards what his answer will be, he still... needs to hear him actually say it. { ☆ }

[canon-fcdder]

“Is it just me or does the whole world suck. Well. Okay. Only if you're there with me it doesn't suck as much.” ( hnng. Sheldon/Varian  - ✩ { @gamblealife​​​​​​​​ } ✩

{ ☆ } “Trust me, it’s not just you…” Varian irritably replies, back resting against the wall and knees hugged close to his chest. Chin resting atop of them, glare is riveted on the floor, vivid blue hues burning. But it’s not anger at his own humiliation— although, he'd suffered greatly —but at what Sheldon went through. Those jerks wandering the halls had been far from kind to his crush friend, and it was all Varian could do to stop them from ramming the poor teen into a nearby locker. How original. While he’d been able to prevent Sheldon from getting stuffed into the metal prison, he HADN’T prevented the roughing-up that happened prior. 

Stupid gym teacher, holding him after class just because the unstable concoction in his bag had accidentally covered the floor in highly volatile goop… If he had just met up with Sheldon sooner, maybe the other male wouldn’t be sporting a black eye. Grip on his legs grows tighter, brows furrowing further at the thought… Varian’s stomach churns, guilt and a need for vengeance ANGER swirling around inside of it. Those jerks must be free from his experimental substance by now; its good for much more than just messing up gymnasium floors. They’re probably on the hunt for them right now… But with the lights off and lab room seemingly deserted, it should be safe for him and Sheldon to head home soon enough.

Normally, he’d want to be doing some hunting of his own... but he has someone else’s well-being to consider. Evident by the warmth that starts to hint his cheeks, fury replaced by a rosy-tint and gaze darting up from the floor to look at Sheldon instead. ‘Only if you're there with me it doesn't suck as much.’ Eyes widen with surprise for a moment, before he releases an awkward breathless laugh, “Y-Yeah, you make the world suck less too…” A light shove is given with his shoulder, expression softening from flustered to something more tender. Smiling at the other teen, heart pounds in his chest from more than the adrenaline of earlier, stomach’s churning changing into those flips that Sheldon seems to entice.

Placing a gloved hand on top of Sheldon’s, Varian turns to better face him, cheeks glowing with a blush that shows even in the darkness and blue hues cutting through with their own affectionate light. “I’m… I’m really glad that I met you…” Varian doesn’t even realize that he’s leaning closer, too focused on those enchanting green hues. “Y’know, I’ve never met anyone like you before.” Heart POUNDS so heavily that he can hardly hear his own voice, face burning and fingers gingerly interlocking with the other male’s. Words are softly spoken, murmured near lips as eyes start to flutter shut, “You’re my best friend, Shelly…”

Sudden noise outside the door causes Varian to pause, body tensing as he quickly presses himself against the wall and away from Sheldon. Breath hitching and heart stalling in his chest, he swallows a lump in his throat— mind abruptly realizing what he’d been about to do earlier —and waits for the murmured curses to fade away, along with the sound of heavy footsteps down the hall. They’re gone... It should be fine for them to leave now. 

They should probably leave now. 

“I- Ahem, I uh, think the coast is clear...” Varian mumbles, fumbling to stand while avoiding Sheldon’s gaze, moving to peek out the small, rectangular window adorning the door. Just to make SURE that everything is fine... Not because he wants to pretend what happened a few moments ago- didn’t. “We should head out before they come back.” { ☆ }

[canon-fcdder]

✩ { Meme } ✩  - ✩ { @gamblealife } ✩ - 19. A clumsy kiss 

{ ☆ } It had started like any other day. Diligently trudging along from class to class: enduring the ridicule and tormenting of his peers, the praise and adulation of his teachers, which then leads to further jealousy-induced jeers and pranks... Until he could finally drop his heavy backpack down onto the tiled-floor of the science classroom. While their club couldn’t meet every single day— despite Varian’s pleas to the contrary —today was thankfully, one where they DID. True, he and Sheldon tend to spend time together after school even when they don’t have a club meeting. But Varian is incredibly close to a breakthrough in his latest (semi-dangerous) chemical experiment and requires substances only found in the school lab.

Until he is able to acquire some more for his personal one, of course...

The other boy seems to be running a bit late, but Varian doesn’t blame him for it. Sheldon’s days tend to be even more hectic than his own, and it’d hardly be the first time he was delayed by forces outside of his control... Aside from when he goes out of his way to talk to X-J9. But that unpleasant thought is promptly (and roughly) shoved to the back of Varian’s mind, mild grumbling and the harsh jostling of a beaker accompanying it. Placed down with more force than necessary, the vibrant liquid inside sloshes over the edge. Hitting the top of the desk with an unfortunate sizzle and puff of smoke. The smoke lingers in the air for a moment before dissipating with a threatening hiss of its own. That’s... concerning. 

As is how the liquid begins to bubble violently, spreading across the desk’s surface. “Oh, no... No, no, no, no, nononononononono...” Varian mutters as he quickly sets down the beaker— still containing a decent amount of corrosive liquid —and races to find something to mop up the mess. Paper towels would be a poor choice, even with protective gloves on. That’s definitely not a mistake he’s eager to make again. Sponges would likely just dissolve as well... As seconds tick by, his search becomes more frantic. More desperate; the sounds of sizzling grower ever-louder and the smell of something burning becoming stronger. If he doesn’t find something to rectify the situation with soon... DISASTER.

He doesn’t even notice the other boy entering the room... until it’s too late.

Turning the corner of the desk (for what must be the third time) gaze darting around in search of something suitable for touching what he hath wrought upon the science lab, he only has time to let out a startled cry— feet futilely skidding to a halt —before colliding with his poor, unsuspecting friend. Stumbling forward, arms blindly flailing for something to steady himself with, his efforts are useless and soon Varian finds himself falling. However, his landing isn’t as hard as he expected. Instead of hitting the unforgiving tile floor, he lands atop something far more comfortable. A grunt of discomfort is emitted from his unwilling cushion as he falls on it— or rather, him —before it is abruptly cut off... For a reason Varian will soon discover. 

Eyes are closed— having shut when he felt himself losing his balance —hands resting atop of something that rhythmically rises up and down, a frantic beating felt underneath his palms. It only takes a moment for him to realize that what he feels is Sheldon’s heart racing... and one moment more for Varian to understand WHY. And why his own is following suit. Lips are pressed against his crush friend’s, awkward and a tad sore from the impact, but against Sheldon’s nonetheless. It’s... strange, and exciting, and wonderful, and terrifying, and- 

A million things that hit him all at once, causing his stomach to churn and his palms to sweat beneath his gloves and his heart to pound in his chest. It’s Varian’s first kiss... and it’s with someone who he’s imagined kissing for what must be a hundred times. He’s not certain if he’s doing it right. Their lips are touching... and that’s all a kiss IS, right? But he doesn’t allow himself time to figure it out, quickly pulling back mere seconds after realizing what happened. After all, it was an accident... He hadn’t meant to kiss Sheldon for real, and Sheldon certainly doesn’t WANT to kiss him. His heart is already focused on a certain robotic girl.

“I-I... I, uh...” Varian breathlessly stammers, the metaphorical heart lodged in his throat making it difficult to speak. Hands are now resting on either side of Sheldon, to keep the upper half of his body from laying atop of him. Still an awkward position, Varian gazing down at the friend subconsciously pinned underneath him. But he is far too frazzled to realize that he should probably just stand up completely. He’s no longer kissing Sheldon and no longer feels his frantic heart... That’s the extent of Varian’s planning. “I’m... sorry?” Yes. He is sorry. Very sorry. So why in the world did that have to come out sounding like a question?  

“I-I mean, I am so sorry! Incredibly, unbelievably sorry, Shelly!” Varian quickly amends, words frantically pouring out. Cheeks are flushed a vibrant pink as the heat of shame washes over them, eyes wide as they distraughtly gaze into the other boy’s. As if searching to see how upset Sheldon is... Must be. “That was an accident, I swear!” Voice cracks, his heartbeat managing to quicken. Visions of his best friend becoming angry, becoming resentful, filling his mind in an instant. Disgusted with him... BY him... Leaving him. “I... I didn’t mean to.”

In the background— completely overshadowed by far more IMPORTANT things —the top of the desk gains a small flame, triggering the sprinkler system and drenching the teens. { ☆ }

[canon-fcdder]

Takes a deep breath. "Okay. Varian, this might sound super crazy, but I've ── I've been feeling this for quite awhile now & I know things didn't go so well before, but ... oh, geeze." He's clearly flustered, practicing in the class room before Varian arrives. "What if he still says no? What if he just ── what if he just wants to remain friends ... " It'll be a lot for Sheldon to take, but he'd accept it & drop the subject completely. ( -YEET- ) 

-  ✩ { @gamblealife​ } ✩

{ ☆ } “Oh, Shelly~ Guess who just got his hands on a copper-plated alembic? That’s right, heh... This guy!” Thumbs cockily jut into his puffed-out chest as Varian bursts into the room, kicking open the door for dramatic effect— at the risk of giving Sheldon a near heart attack —before setting his ridiculously heavy backpack down on the lab table with a boom. “Do you have any idea how many poly-alchemical substration tests I’ll be able to run?” 

“Heh... What am I saying? Of course, you do!” Varian jokingly answers his own question, certain that out of everyone in school— in his life —Sheldon understands his excitement the most. While he might not be nearly as versed or enthusiastic about Alchemy, he wouldn’t just scoff and brush Varian’s excitement aside either. “A lot. The answer is a lot.” He adds with a snicker, a small (dorky) snort slipping out in the process as he sets down his latest piece of equipment. Dinged and dusty, but nothing that a good polish and buffing won’t fix.

Glancing over at the other boy, excitement becomes more subdued when he notices how... anxious Sheldon seems. “Hey... Are you- Are you alright?” Varian asks, tone quieter than before as if wanting to ensure that he doesn’t startle the seemingly-jumpy boy. With a soft smile— filled with a nervous fondness —he adds, “You’re not feeling... Y’know, weird around me now or anything... Are you?” Did his voice crack a bit? Shit... It did. Swallowing a lump in his throat, smile is shaky as he awaits Sheldon’s response. Curse his pounding heart.

Mind fills with visions of him saying that things are too strange now, too different, too... Whatever the reason may be, for him to want some space. Space that would stretch days, to weeks, to months... Until their friendship is nothing but a bittersweet memory. { ☆ }

[canon-fcdder]

✩ { @gamblealife } ✩

{ ☆ } He’s doing it again... Talking about HER. During the time they’re supposed to be using to work on extracurricular experiments. It hadn’t been easy to convince the science teacher to allow the boys to use his classroom for their after school club. Especially after the latest... ‘incident’ with Varian’s highly-unstable compound meant to instantly clean even the trickiest of beaker stains. Long-story-short, the class had to be completely resupplied with brand new beakers... and extra fire extinguishers had been installed into the room. Still, the man has a bit of a soft spot for the intelligent boy and had (reluctantly) agreed after a particularly heartfelt speech that was borderline pleading... All of this effort, for WHAT?

For their club to turn into the Jenny Is Soooooooo Great club?

Apparently. Because for some reason (that Varian only slightly understands) the other boy can’t keep from mentioning her. Constantly. He’s infatuated with the robot. Completely and utterly infatuated to the point where no one else has a sliver of a chance at breaking through to him... Fists clench tighter as they rest upon the desk, brows lowering further as he feels an all-too-familiar pang in his chest. Varian can feel his heart’s every beat, heavy and aching as he just quietly looks at his science partner. His best friend. His oblivious crush. Sheldon looks so happy... and yet, sorrowful too. A bitter-sweet feeling it is, unrequited love.

To admire someone so much, to notice every little breathtaking, wonderful detail about them— the way he cocks his head slightly when smiling, how those stray hairs bounce with every movement, how lively his voice is when he’s passionate about something... or someone, in this case —all while knowing that they don’t see ANY of your’s. That nothing you do or say will ever draw their attention. Will entice a fluttering in their heart or cause a blush to spread across their face... Like right now. Sheldon is clearly blushing, and it’s all because of some girl who wants nothing to do with him. Varian can feel his own face grow warm...

Although it is less of a blush and more of a flush of frustration. 

‘Sorry, heh... How long have I been talking for?’ That question manages to break through the boy’s sullen thoughts. Sheldon’s other XJ-9-centric words having dulled into white-noise quite some time ago. Eyes widening with surprise, Varian starts slightly at the unexpected acknowledgment— with how Sheldon had been rambling on, Varian hadn’t thought he’d stop until it was time to leave —fists abruptly unclenching so that his palms now rest flat atop the desk. Blinking a few times to clear his head and the sheen of intense thought from his eyes, Varian awkwardly coughs into a closed fist before responding, “Oh, y’know...”

“Only if you consider an hour to be long.” Words are hinted with a bit more snark than he originally anticipated, a classic tell-tale sign that something is bothering him. HAS been bothering him for a while now, to be honest. But until this moment, Varian likes to think that he’s been keeping it hidden well enough... “Technically-” Reaching into his apron, he pulls out a handmade pocket watch and glances down at it, “-fifty-nine minutes and thirty-three seconds, but I’ll just round it up.” Looking back at Sheldon with a light pout, he adds, “You walked in, sat down, and then proceeded to talk about XJ-9 after I asked you-” 

Here’s the part that causes his stomach to churn... “-how your day’s been.” Which had sent the boy into a spiel about how he had bumped into ‘Jenny’ in the halls and how she’d said something super nice to him and WOW isn’t she the greatest and hey, did he know about her new upgrades and- Varian had seen Sheldon today too. They’d had a few classes together, eaten lunch together— like usual —had bumped into each other in the halls (literally), he’d even helped Sheldon pick up all the things that’d tumbled out of his backpack because of that impromptu bump... But apparently, none of THAT stuck with the other boy.

All because XJ-9 had interacted with him for five minutes. { ☆ }

[canon-fcdder]

gamblealife replied to your post ““Don’t get me wrong, the power of science is impressive. But it is...”

Sheldon vc: “... I’m right here, Vare.” >)

{ ☆ } “Oh...” Is all Varian can reply for the moment at the unexpected arrival. Tone and expression a deadpan kind of confused calm, like a deer caught in the headlights. When had his friend wandered into the room? ... Probably during his little monologue about the benefits (and superiorities) of science when compared to other, less-logical reasonings... Like love. 

After all, love causes an abundance of problems... for him, at least. 

“H-Heh... Hi, Shelly.” Yet try as he might, he just can’t seem to shake it. “How uh... How long have you been standing there?” Cheeks growing warmer— partially from embarrassment and partially because of... other reasons —a hand awkwardly rubs the back of his neck as he admits with a light chuckle, “I was just... talking to myself.” Something that he happens to do a lot, now that he thinks about it. “When there’s usually no one else around, you kinda... get accustomed to it.” Cue a small silence, Varian averting his gaze as he mulls over whether he should voice what he’s thinking. Something that honestly, barely takes him a second. 

“... I guess I don’t really need to do it all that often anymore, huh?” { ☆ }

[canon-fcdder]

“Get away from me! I’m contagious!” ( Sheldon/Varian ) 

-  ✩   「 @gamblealife 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」    ❝  Yeah, with a cold. It’s not like you have the plague, Shelly!  ❞  Varian says with a roll of his eyes, sympathy battling with the frustration at Sheldon’s insistence that Varian keep his distance. All this running around CAN’T be good for someone getting over what appears to be a nasty bout of flu and frankly, even Varian is getting tired at this point.

When the other hadn’t shown up for school, Varian had wasted no time in heading over once class was finished to make sure that Sheldon was alright. Being allowed into the others house was surprisingly-easy, following the instructions towards his friend’s bedroom where he was met with the sight of a sneezing, shaking Shelly. What ISN’T easy, is getting that sick mess to stand still for a few seconds so Varian can get close enough to tend to him. 

❝  I have gloves on. Doesn’t that count for something? I’ll even wrap a cloth or something around my mouth so I don’t breathe in your germs if that’ll make you more comfortable. Just- tell me what I need to do to get you to lay down for five seconds!  ❞  Varian complains, no concern whatsoever for his own well-being. Bad as this cold looks, he’d rather end up catching it himself than leave Sheldon to nurse himself back to health. True, there’s probably someone else who could do just as good of a job. But Varian isn’t one to trust things to others when he could do it himself. Especially something as important as this. 

❝  Did you at least take some medicine today?  ❞     「 ☆ 」 

[canon-fcdder]

Sheldon's quiet, gaze focused on Varian & just watching him work. Something's clearly on the boy's mind, head tilted to the side, curiously. "Hey, Var?" A small pause before hesitantly requesting, "Could I maybe hear you sing?" ( -yeets the future bfs- dkefjldkfd; Sheldon's muse is screaming at me for more Varian interaction & I - )

-  ✩   「 @gamblealife 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Varian is taken aback by the sound of Sheldon’s voice, too engrossed in his work to realize that the other boy had been studying him so intently. Cheeks growing warm as his gaze meets one he hadn’t expected, he quickly looks away. Feigning fidgeting with a loose part of his newest invention, he replies with a slightly-strained  ❝  Y-Yeah?  ❞  hastily clearing his throat after his voice treacherously cracks.  ❝  What uh, what’s up?  ❞

Gaze flits in Sheldon’s direction for a moment before averting back to his machine, Varian hardly seeing the contraption once his best friend has voiced his question. Completely caught off-guard, Sheldon barks out an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck as the blush on his cheeks spread across the expanse of his face.  ❝  Oh? Really? I mean— Sure, I don’t see a problem with that.  ❞  Honestly, Varian doesn’t mind singing. He's proud of his voice and music has always been a part of his life, often singing to himself when working at home. But that’s the key part. To HIMSELF... Normally one to keep a solitary existence, until meeting Sheldon and spending more time working around the other boy, Varian never had much of an audience for his music. Unless he counted Ruddiger. 

He definitely never had someone asking him to sing for them. 

 ❝  Let me just...  ❞  Drumming his fingers against the counter, he wracks his mind for something he can sing. With a surplus of songs within him, yet mind drawing a blank, he hesitantly begins the first melody that slips from his lips. Allowing his voice to decide for itself what he’d share, words growing stronger as the song is spun into existence,  ❝  You can push me away, I can take it... I can make you a promise- and break it.... We know the way it goes by now.  ❞  At the start, he’s aware of his volume, carefully working his way through the song. But the longer it goes on, the easier it becomes, eyes shutting and the melody swelling from deep within his chest. Before Varian knows it, he’s forgotten where he is—

Thank god it’s after school, where few are around to bear witness to the storm of song filling the classroom Sheldon and Varian have claimed as their robotics sanctuary... Once it’s over, Varian is bound to try and sheepishly laugh off what happened. But until then, he sings for his crush friend.   「 ☆ 」 

[canon-fcdder]

( . Y . ) ( & Uhhhh. Sheldon/Varian - don't worry, he only has his shirt off. xD He was testing filters. ) 

-  ✩   「 @gamblealife 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Gaze is riveted on his latest creation. protective goggles lowered and blowtorch on full power as he welds metals together in an intricate and careful design. Breath practically held, body tense and nerves alight, he sticks his tongue out and moves a bit closer. One slip up, one little mistake and he’ll likely have to scrap the entire thi— With a cry of surprise as his phone vibrates loudly in his pocket, the blowtorch slips in his grasp, knocking over the mess of metals onto the floor with a deafening racket. Flinching at the not-too-promising sound, Varian pulls his goggles up with a groan, rolling his eyes before glowering at the mess.

Well... That’s just great.

Deciding to spare himself the agony of looking through the mess just a little longer, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Face scrunched in expectation of something not NEARLY worth the interruption, eyes abruptly widen at what covers his screen. Face flushed with a red that spreads to his ears and burns the back of his neck, mouth opens and shuts as Varian struggles to remember how to speak; not like there’s anyone around to speak TO anyway. What would he even say?  ❛  Hey, can you look at my phone to make sure what I think is on there is actually on there and not a hallucination brought on by overworking?  ❜

Shaky hands hastily type out a response, Varian shoving aside the urge to save the picture of his shirtless friend.  ❛  Hey— I’m pretty sure you sent this to me on accident. It’s not a problem at all! No worries. I just figured you might want to know.  ❜  Rewriting the message several times before clumsy fingers settle on something he figures is acceptably casual and unaffected, he slowly sets down his phone on the table. Movements careful as if he were placing down a highly-volatile explosive that could go off at any moment. As soon as the device is on the surface, placed with feather-light precision... hands ease away from it and the confusing picture, Varian holding them both in front of himself in surrender. 

Taking a few steps back, he blinks blankly at the phone. A few moments of silence, Varian’s mind catching up once more with what just happened... before he raises his apron to cover his face and screams into the garment.   「 ☆ 」