#⟨ OUT OF CHARACTER ⟩ DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR RFK?

[mattsdae]

help wanted

tags: joe young x masc reader , curruption , phone sex , mutual masturbation ig , reader is a perv , probably ooc , but also probably not bc i studied up on everyone elses fics , humiliation , lots of degradation BUT it’s just guys being guys lol , some praise , brief mention of pillow humping , homophobic language , so many ellipsis i think my period button is broken , he also stutters a lot which is usually cringe when overdone but he’s also a pathetic mess who can’t finish his sentences

synopsis: joe often finds himself confused on set and asks you for help. in a time of need, you’re the only person he can think of to call.

word count: ~2k

a/n: part 2 and 3 are out now! check it out pt. 2 here! pt. 3 here!

just a quick warning: i am very underqualified for this fic (considering i never watched orgazmo) BUT i do have an intense corruption kink that makes me want to ruin joe young. also, reader has a dick. there isn’t nearly enough gay shit in this fandom, so i’m taking it upon myself. it’s also can’t imagine any trey parker character being straight.

—

“you got morning wood and thought to call me?” it was 6 in the morning, a time you haven’t woken up at since elementary school. you didn’t answer at first, but decided to after he left a voicemail consisting of ‘i need your help’ and ‘call back please’. now, you were pissed off because instead of being injured or in need of actually important advice, he needed someone to ask about boners.

“i don’t know what to do..” joe mumbled, his voice dripping with shame. you shrugged, leaning up in your bed as he waited for an answer.

“just jack off or something; you’ll be fine.” you weren’t sure why he called you of all people. you weren’t exactly close with him. he would come up to you and ask questions about the script, usually too nervous to ask female co-stars, but the conversation never lasted more than a few seconds. they always went the same.

what does head mean?

a blowjob.

what’s that?

when a girl sucks your dick.

oh lord-

followed by him walking away briskly. once he asked what squirting was, but you never answered because you were too busy laughing. he always had this shaky, scared tone when he asked, which only made his cluelessness funnier. for a while, you thought it was a bit. from his incompetence during sex to his talks about ‘our lord and savior’, it was all too perfect.

“is that..” he trailed off. that was one of the first terms he asked you, which started your facination. it’s not like you were into him, you weren’t a fag, but it was a little cute. the questions annoyed the hell out of you, but you loved the look on his face when he would connect the dots and realize what he accidentally said. the innocent, almost shameful look on his face quickly melting to shock and pure embarassment hearing such dirty words leave your mouth (and so casually).

“guess.” after he asked enough questions to annoy you, you started asking him to guess what it meant, which completely changed the game. it was amazing. he’d blush, stuttering over his words as he tried to explain what he thought it might mean without saying anything too sinful. it wasn’t annoying to you anymore. you almost looked forward to when he’d ask his stupid little questions.

“oh, um.. is it when you.. touch yourself?” he whispered the last part.

“precisely,” you chuckle over the line. he cleared his throat, some static covering it as he adjusted himself as well. you leaned back fully, head resting on your pillow as you waited for him to end the call and run off.

“h-how..?” he stuttered. for a moment, you felt a little confused. you never met someone who didn’t jack off every so often. after the initial confusion wore off, you started to wish you could see him.

“you’ve never masturbated?” a grin spread on your face as he let out a shaky breath. he didn’t respond, most likely shaking his head in refusal. “what? you want me to talk you through it?”

it wasn’t a serious offer, just a little more teasing, but you heard something over the phone that resembled a moan. he was ashamed, sure, but he couldn’t deny himself forever. that was only confirmed as you heard a ‘mhm’ sound, barely loud enough to hear.

“what was that?” it was a little mean, making him repeat himself even though he was so clearly humiliated by this whole interaction, but you couldn’t help yourself. “gotta say it a little louder, i can’t hear you.”

“please.” maybe you were a fag because the pathetic whimper he let out turned you on. a lot. he still said it just above a whisper, but it worked.

“you really want this? i’m sure you could figure it out, you’re a big boy.” another jab at him, which only made him huff. you desperately wanted to see him, but it would probably kill you. the idea of his red cheeks, trembling fingers, not to mention his hard cock.

“i need..” a desperate whine and some more shuffling sounded off, which only made you more excited. “please?”

“tell me what you’re doing. i hear a lot of movement over there.” your hand made their way to your crotch, rubbing over your sweatpants without second thought. “you humping your pillow or something?”

another whimper. you chuckled, crackling over the line.

“you would be the type. think about what those girls do during our shoots. the way they touch you..” he huffed again, more shuffling. “go ahead and get comfortable.”

“o-okay.” the phone made a knocking noise as he put it down, making quick work of removing his pants. “what next?”

“good job,” you laughed. “how about this. i’ll tell you what i’m doing and you mimick me.”

“like simon says?”

“exactly.” you sighed, gripping yourself a little harder. “go ahead and feel yourself. don’t go under your boxers, just touch yourself over it.”

“okay,” he mumbled. you bit your lip as a moan played over the phone.

“move your hand up and down, squeeze a little bit too. do it nice and slow for me, alright?” his moans became muffled, his hand physically holding them back. even with the barrier, you could clearly hear his whimpers as he touched himself through the material. “you sure you’ve never done this before? it sounds like you know yourself really well.”

“n-no, never.” the words barely made past his lips as he let out another moan.

“tell me how it feels. make sure it’s detailed,” you asked. another small whimper.

“c-can’t..”

“come on, you can do it,” a grin on your face spread as you said it. you couldn’t get enough of him. “just tell me if it feels good.”

“it feels really good.” he sighed, making you grip yourself harder. each noise he made went straight to your groin. “i-i feel like this is a sin…”

you nearly moaned out loud at the statement. his voice was still shaky and nervous, but you didn’t think he’d ever be able to be normal during sex. he’d always be a trembling, embarassed mess in front of whoever decided to sleep with him.

“it’s not a sin, man. i’m just helping you out, ya know?” you’re voice was breathy, rubbing your thumb over your clothed tip. another whimper from over the phone.

“are you sure?”

“i’ve never been more sure of anything.” maybe it was wrong to lie, especially since he was clearly devoted to his religion, but once again, you couldn’t help yourself. his little huffs and whines did more for you than any girl ever has. “you like it, right? how could it be a sin if you enjoy it so much?”

“o-oh, okay,” he responded. you bit your lip, stifling a whimper as you let yourself go. his blindly trusting behavior nearly sent you over the edge.

“go ahead and take your boxers off for me,” you pulled your cock out at the same time he did, hearing a small gasp on the other side of the phone. you chuckled. “you gotta wait until i tell you, baby.”

“sorry.” the pet name seemingly went over his head as he apologized, whimpering from the loss of contact. you chuckle.

“good boy,” you drawled. “should i make you wait a little longer for not listening?”

“no, no, no! please,” he begged. you let out a deep laugh, one that came from your chest. it was almost endearing how horny he was. you knew he never had sex and now you knew he also never touched himself, so finally having a hand around his dick must feel amazing. you still enjoyed teasing him for it.

“fuck, you really want this, huh?” he hummed in agreement. “go ahead, man. you earned it.”

you take hold of your cock as he does. he let’s out a string of moans and sobs as he thrusts into his own hand. you touched yourself with long, languid tugs. you almost basked in noises coming from his mouth. filthy cries escaping as he committed sin after sin, squirming in the pleasure. it was a pathetic display that you couldn’t get enough of. his noises got louder and shorter, a staccato to each whimper exposing how close he was.

“slow down a little, i wanna cum at the same time. you think you can hold off for a little longer, baby?” he was so far gone, he couldn’t even comprehend your digs. any other time, he’d be beet red and trying to escape, but now he soaked in every little comment. he nods nonetheless, whining as he slowed nearly to a stop.

“where are you going?” he asked. his voice dripped with pure sex, but his question was so innocent. at first, you didn’t get it. just before you asked what he meant, it clicked. he didn’t know what cum meant. he thought you meant you were going somewhere. you laughed, covering your mouth to muffle it, but he could still hear it. “why are you laughing?”

“that’s that what i meant, sweetheart!” an exaggerated sweet comment that only made him more confused. you wished you could see his sweet little face, trying to read what you meant by your words but failing miserably. “do you remember what orgasm means?”

the strangled whimper confirmed everything you needed to know. first of all, he did understand what orgasm meant, but he also made it known that he liked you talking this way, just as much as you did. a subtle ‘yes’ came in, quiet enough that you almost had to genuinely ask him to speak up.

“i’m guessing you don’t know what it feels like though, right?” you smirked, knowing the answer was no.

“well..” you stopping moving your hand, pausing in confusion. “i had a dream once..”

“you had a wet dream?!” you grinned. he hummed, agreeing but still shy about saying it. “you’re fucking amazing, dude. wow!”

“i dunno what that means.” he must’ve stopped touching himself as well, considering how even his tone was now (at least as even as he could possibly get it).

“so you came in your pants? from a dream?” he didn’t reply, which only confirmed your suspicion. “what was it about?”

“w-what?” you grabbed yourself again.

“tell me about your dream. you remember it right?” you slid your thumb over your tip, collecting some of your precum for lube. after a while without a response, only whimpers playing over the line. “come on, at least tell me who it was about.”

“umm..” he still didn’t give a proper answer.

“was it a girl you filmed with?”

“no.”

“your ex?”

“n-no..”

“dave?!”

“no no!” you thought for a while, trying to figure out who else it could have been.

“don’t tell me it was maxxx-“

“it was you!” he blurts it out. the line crackled as the words lingered in the air. you were shellshocked by the confession. “i-i thought about you showing me what all those weird words meant. like, doing it to me..”

your jaw dropped, staring at the ceiling as you listened to his little fantasy, a fantasy you also dreamed about every so often. the silence was long enough for him to say your name, trying to catch your attention.

“what was i doing?” you finally asked. he whimpered.

“don’t make me say it…”

“i’m just curious! do you think you can touch yourself while telling me?” it was perverted and down right gross what you were making him do, but you couldn’t stop yourself. with quick tugs, you listen to his story. he moaned as he grabbed himself again.

“ah.. i went up to you and- and asked what something meant.. i-it was all gibberish and-“ you accidentally cut him off with a moan, now thrusting into your hand. “you.. you showed me. you touched me and kissed me. it felt really good..”

“you’re so dirty, joe.” you pant. he whimpers and starts going faster, just like you are, which only made his story more interesting to listen to. “keep going, i’m close.”

“you got on your knees-“ a pulse of heat ran down your body, another moan coming from your chest. “and you.. kissed it..”

“you dreamt about me giving you head?” you laughed, an airy laugh that were laced with moans. he whimpers again.

“you- you made me beg..” the noises that came from you were pornographic. your cock coating in precum as he told you about his perverted little dream.

“tell me how you begged.” you huffed. he sobs, obviously close to orgasm himself. nonetheless, he obliges.

“i said.. i said please a lot. you were rubbing my thigh and i thought i was gonna cry.”

just like that, you came. a girly moan escaped your lips as ropes of cum covered your chest and stomach. your hips jumped, thrusting into your fist and fucking your own hand. by the time you calmed down, he also came, letting out slobbery ‘thank you’s as he came on himself as well.

“good boy, such a good boy. you feel better now?”

“yes! yes!” he sobbed, still getting over his orgasm. he panted, pathetic little cries threatening to make you hard again. you smiled.

“you did so good for me, huh? my filthy boy..” you trailed off as his noises subsided. it was quiet for a while, the only sound coming from his side of the call being little gasps and pants.

“was that.. gay?” joe whispered. it was. it was really fucking gay. it was probably the most gay thing you’ve ever done, but you decided to spare his feelings.

“nah, man. just friends helping out friends.”

[foreststarflaime]

For the ask game - Z A C K ?

YAY AN ASK hello and thank you! These were very fun! Restricting myself to ff7 for these bc that’s all my brain thinks about these days

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

Ah ah uh let’s see hello do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior aroace Sephiroth

The appeal? It makes the angst hit even worse and then I can project wildly on him. It would make the Am I a Monster dilemma even worse for him and even more heartbreaking for us. And then there’s that sweet sweet unrequited sephgen angst where he feels guilty about not being able to return Genesis’ affections. And then if you want a happy fix-it ending (I do) there’s the chance to have them both character develop and have a wonderful even more complex and beautiful friendship grow out of it. And it’s not like he can’t ever feel that way so other ships not necessarily cut off by this

The evidence? Trust me bro (gender neutral)

A - Ships that you currently like a lot.

Oo hm well romantically I do love AGS and all variations of that! Although I do personally hc Sephiroth as aroace so even that is more qpr-y to me lol. For most romantic ships I don’t really have strong opinions, I just am along for the ride

Now platonically. Lot more opinions there. Love the chaotic energy of AGSZC fics where they’re a chaotic found family destroying Lazard’s remaining sanity. And need I even mention Zack and Cloud (both romantically and platonically, they’re great)? Everyone loves them and I am no exception. I also adore the idea of Sephiroth and Aerith being lab siblings—I need more of those fics in my life. Also the friendship spawned from the hc that Genesis and Aerith are half-siblings. They would cause so much chaos together if ever allowed to meet. Never allow them to go on a fun night out unless you want several counts of arson and armed robbery and Sephiroth and Cloud tied to chairs in an abandoned warehouse in full drag. Also god I wish Angeal and Tifa had interacted in canon any time ever because they would love each other. And finally I love Yuffie and Cloud’s chaotic sibling relationship where Yuffie is constantly annoying him and picking all his pockets

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Switching back to romantically for this one. Angeal/Zack has just never appealed to me really, I think the mentor/student part just throws me off of it. I can tolerate it in AGSZC fics, probably because it’s not the main focus, but idk. I do adore their relationship platonically though. The Angeal I love you man scene means so much to me

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Oh ho HO that’s hard! Lots of good options there. Think I’m gonna have to go with Sephiroth though—it is devastatingly heart-wrenching where I do usually cling to happy endings but it’s just so well done and fascinating that I’d say it has to be my favorite! Tragedy hurts me but I am inexorably drawn to it. And then I devour fix-it fics for weeks afterwards like a starving man

[ak800]

Greetings fellow mortal do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and savior Event Horizon on ao3 who's your favorite character favorite NPC favorite line favorite scene favorite chapter favorite theory and detail I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG /nf ^^

halluuu!!!

first of all, thank u for the ask?? I love to rant abt my interest hehe <3

so bc I'm a bit in a time crunch (I rlly need to study for my physics test rip) I'll just gush a bit abt my fav characters and leave the ✨️literatur analysis✨️ for another post :>

so my fav characters are obv Tubbo&Ranboo bc pookies but I also rlly like Tommy. Idk I think I can relate to him, with his ideals and ambitions. And yk him trying to help Tubbo and reach out to him but not being able to rlly reach him (which we see emotionally but also mirrored in a quite literal sense when Tommy tried calling Tubbo in Ad Astra but the transmitter had been destroyed by the supernova) soooo yeah, benchtrio <3

and uhh help why is it so late already raahhhh so yeah fav detail probably being that Ranboo kinda "reclaims" the jewlery and more extravagant clothing in his heaing process bc fuck yeah femininity as a symbol of growth and strengh

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

jjk. chapter 255 spoilers under the cut !!

WWAUUUGHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHINJUKU CHAPTERS FOR SUREEEE I CRIED I SOBBED I THREW UP MULTIPLE TIMES THIS IS SO UP MY ALLEY I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE IT????????? I DON’T HAVE THE WORDS????????

okay i’m gonna TRY to be coherent . gonna try to behave. but i LOVED this chapter so much it gave me so much i’ve been wanting from this manga for so long…. hhhh…………… :((((

FIRST OF ALLLLLL:

LARUEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 HE’S HEREEEEE HE’S HOME…… MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CANONICALLY QUEER SIDE CHARACTER……. the narrator referring to the two of them as ”team geto” made me SOB but more on that later i’m just. so happy to see him??? one of my favorite side characters???? i never thought he’d get more screentime?????

and that goes for miguel too!!! i adore them BOTH and they looked so pretty this chapter …. T_T hhhhh

miguel is so handsome ….. just one chance plspls king :’3 i’m hoping more screentime will get him more fics…… maybe specifically x reader fics…….. just a thought……….. (yes i have a miguel/reader drabble in wips no i don’t know when i’ll get to writing it 💔) and larue my gay bestie he rlly is so pretty!!!!!! hhhhh i missed them sm :(((((

ALSOOOO absolutely loved their interactions w yuuta in the beginning….. all the lil moments. larue calling miguel hun….. miguel having beef w gojo and wanting to see him beg for his help….. yuuta offering to beg instead and miguel getting freaked out 😭 THEY’RE SOOO FUNNY

I <333333 THEMMMM

and and and ….. while we’re on the topic of gojo………… THE CRUMBSSSSS THIS CHAPTER GOD HE’S SO PRETTY :(((( RETURN OF THE CIRCLE FRAMES!!!!!

he’s so cute …. andddd while we’re talking abt this interaction!!! i loved loved loved that miguel got the chance to lecture gojo on his racism. and so blatantly too !!!!!! it feels so refreshing to have a shounen manga where casual racism is acknowledged and not just treated as a gag…. and gojo apologized (albeit a lil casually but i do think it was genuine. that’s just kinda how gojo talks </3)

SPEAKKKKK YOUR TRUTH KING ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ LET HIM HAVE IT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ personally i think gojo should’ve let his infinity down so miguel could get a couple good smacks in but that’s just me. (miguel looks so good here also!!!)

aaaa and !!! before i get to the Main Dish of this chapter i just wanna say :3 MAKI SWEEEEEEP OUR QUEEN OUR KING OUR LORD AND SAVIOR 🙏🙏🙏🙏 SHE’S BACK AND COOLER THAN EVERRRRRR LOOK AT THAT GRIN

serving cunt since day one ….. where would we even be w/o her……. i AM very worried for my boys and that black flash at the end but :’3 this chapter made me feel hopeful….. it’s nice to see a good ol jumpjutsu kaisen 5v1 battle.

BUTTTTT with that out of the way!!!!! let’s talk about my absolute favorite part of the chapter (and why it’s one of my favorites in shinjuku)….. which is ofc. the talk between miguel and larue. i absolutely unabashedly ADORE geto’s family and i’ve been waiting to see them again for so long!!! to learn more about them, their feelings towards geto, their feelings after his passing…… and i finally got it. and it was just…. so, so good. wow.

like …. this page almost made me cry. genuinely. i adore larue so much and it was so nice to see him again….. he’s definitely my favorite member of geto’s family (excluding geto himself ofc) and clearly the most heartfelt!!! there’s the scene in shibuya where he stops the rest of the family from harming each other because he knows that’s the last thing geto would want, he calls everyone by their first name…. it just feels like he understood geto the most. understood that what geto cared about above all else was his family, not his own plan (hot take maybe?? but i’ll die on that hill).

and goshhhh…… ”we all loved suguru-chan” :((( you don’t UNDERSTAND how emotional i feel rn. i mean we basically already knew this but it just feels so nice to get confirmation on how loved geto was!!! not just by a couple members of his family, but by all of them!!!! i think it’s so telling that even miguel, who acts a bit colder than someone like larue, was willing to help geto and grew to love him. geto is just such a sincere character at his core and i think that’s how he won them all over. but aaaa i’m just :((((( they loved him!!!!! and he loved them just as much!!!!!! i’ve said this before but i NEED a slice of life spinoff manga only featuring geto and his family.,, they mean so much to me.

and i haven’t even MENTIONED larue’s speech????????????? how lovely it is?????? how sick it is????????????? his version of mourning makes me so unbelievably emotional :(((( geto would be so fucking proud of them i can picture him looking up at them from the fiery pits just CHEERING as they punch sukuna…… sniffle sniffle. he loves them!!! and they love him!!!!!!

also obviously i NEED to mention this bc it broke me. i’ve seen people making jokes about what miguel says AND I GET THAT bc i too love joking about how geto is definitely in hell but. this line is very tragic to me!!! or maybe not tragic but it’s definitely somber. i don’t think it’s meant to be humorous, it’s there as a grim reminder of the things geto and his family did…. they loved each other but they were villains. there’s no denying that. larue is obviously a bit of a romanticist but miguel is enough of a realist to call him out on it, and i think that gets his personality across so well. because he still ends up agreeing to join larue in the fight!! those words got to him!!!! seeing his expression crumble in this page made my heart ache :((((… they were villains but they loved each other so earnestly. and i just adore them so so much!!!

okay i think ….. that’s all …….. suchhhh a wonderful chapter. it made me insane!!!!! i love miguel and i love larue and i’m hoping they’ll survive this :((

(….. but . i mean … if they end up dying ……. there’s the slightest chance we’ll get an afterlife scene of geto and his family, so …. um ……. yk …….. 👉👈 maybe . some sacrifices will have to be made……..)

[jennajaeger]

My general feelings on my F/Os' canon love interests and how I picture my dynamic with each of them:

Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid):

Eric is MY GUY. BESTIE. HIMBO EXTRAORDINAIRE. We high five each other as we pass each other in the hallway because we both have the best wife in the world. Literally the epitome of this meme:

Me: "The stars are so beautiful tonight."

Eric: "You know who else is beautiful?"

Both of us in unison: *sighing dreamily* "Ariel~"

Keyleth (Critical Role: The Legend of Vox Machina):

So admittedly I have not finished the series yet but as far as I can tell, Vax and Keyleth have a very "right person, wrong time" type of relationship? Like, I get it, they're always gonna love each other, they're just never going to be in a place where they can BE together? And I mean......that works for me :P I feel marginally bad about stealing her man because she's so sweet and deserves a break, precious bean, but if it works it works <3

Meryl Stryfe & Milly Thompson (Trigun Stampede):

I felt so bad the moment I started watching the show because I was like "oh god another female character I'm gonna have to throw under the bus in the name of self shipping" but honestly so far in the 23 version I read their dynamic as platonic?? And just in general, I love her <3 She's a tough little cookie; and I haven't properly met Milly yet but I just know I'm gonna love her :P girl frankly you deserve to have Nick maybe you'll mellow him out a little good heavens XD

Helen Wick (John Wick franchise):

I will always have a moment to pay homage to our lord and savior Helen Wick who died to give us the best action franchise of the modern age, girl you were a real one and rest easy knowing I am going to RIDE THE TRAUMA OUT OF YOUR HUSBAND

Tess Marshall (Barbarian):

SHE DESERVES S O MUCH BETTER OH MY GOD I mean they both do, they're stuck in this terrible movie :P In a better world I would love to be friends with Tess, and act as Keith's filter because good lord boy you're cute but you're dumb as fuck sometimes XD Also if I ever see Keith's ex-gf I'm throwing hands

Alt Cunningham & Rogue (Cyberpunk 2077):

god I'm glad these two are Johnny's exes XD I'm sure I would have liked Alt a lot more had I known her when she was, y'know, alive, but as a......tech ghost or whatever, she's not a lot of fun :P As for Rogue, she's a bitch, I KNOW she's a bitch, and I respect her for it. She DID stab Johnny in the back though and I'm not about to let her forget it.

Alys Rivers & Helaena Targaryen (House of the Dragon):

I haven't properly met Alys yet but I'm looking forward to it, I feel like I'm gonna like her :P And Helaena is A SWEETHEART, an absolute darling, I would love to sit with her and have tea while she does her embroidery and listen to her talk about anything that comes into her pretty little head because THE GODS KNOW SOMEONE HAS TO. I will also be her "dump your shitty husband" friend so fast XD Like, LOOK AT AEMOND. LOOK AT HIM. HE'S RIGHT THERE GIRL I WILL SHARE.

Anyone Dream has ever been romantically involved with and yes I'm including Hob Gadling (The Sandman):

I have nothing but love and respect for Dream's past partners (Calliope babe I'd die for you) and I just love the idea that we have like, dinner together and they all just spill the tea about the shit Dream got up to in past decades :P

Vision (Marvel Cinematic Universe):

I have no problems with Viz, he was a good man. Wanda really could have done BETTER in my opinion, but y'know, she could have done a lot worse too, so :P And thanks to Viz we have the boys, Billy and Tommy <3

Martin Blackwood (The Magnus Archives):

I don't hate Martin. He's a sweetheart. But I need him to not even BREATHE in Jon's direction, because that is MY MAN. Nothing personal :P

Mikasa Akerman (Attack On Titan):

I will meet that bitch in the FUCKING PIT IT IS ON S I G H T LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!

[succ-my-coke]

Trigun Stampede ep 4-7

-THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ALL OF TRIGUN-

✨Character thoughts time✨

1. Wolfwood my boy, my lord, my baby girl is back and all is well.

2. He feels very loyal to his original character I like it

3. Him and Vash are back on their buuullllshit

5.LIVIO!!!! He made it in!!! He was never in the original anime!!!

6. I’m glad that the full story of wolfwood is getting put out there and all but it is kind of making the series feel incredibly rushed

7. I like the character development that Meryl is getting so far and her move from bystander to involved

8. I was so absolutely not expecting Zazie the beast this early in, and he’s got a much longer, more involved role

9. Legato you blue bastard I hate you. But I’m untested to see if we’ll get him original backstory and motivators that didn’t make it into the old anime like we got wolf woods

10. This version of Vash isn’t nearly as goofy and the og and I kind of miss it. He has his moments and I like his character but it feels a little sad

11. They did not need to make Monev the gales backstory that fucking sad, I have yet to recover and suspect I never will

12. Vash communicating with the plant had me in tears, I don’t know why, but it was indescribably touching. Especially with the way he turned to the others and looked shell shocked

General thoughts about the episodes now

1. Making the sand worms a bigger thing and problems is really really cool tbh

2. The fact that the “spacefaring age” is more common knowledge and talked about really opens up so many possibilities. I hope we still get the old colony in the sky still

3. A whole sandsteamer episode and no Kite I’m upset

4. THEY HAVE THE BAD LADS GANG BUT NONE OF OUR LOTD AND SAVIOR BRILLIANT DYNAMITE NEON???? THE AUDACITY

5. The sandstorm was a minor(?) plot point in the original so I’m curious as to what they are going ti do with it in this

6. There’s a lot of characters I miss but I think they’re are doing a good job with this version tbh

[thekuraning]

34 and 50!

what are your current obsessions?

34 - Time I succeeded

DAMN well ok uhhhh I was top 10 internationally during the DigiCon 2022 vital lab raid!! But I can't prove it since the app shut down. I was proud of that one, though!

My favorite lasting success that I can prove is the first time I finished a longfic, which was called Slowpoke Tails and Koffing Fumes that I posted to FFnet. It's... not very good!! In fact, reading it now I cringe a lot! But it's my favorite because in a time when my life was very rocky and very close to uhhh aliven't-ing, it was a goal I set for myself that kept me keeping on. It's very silly!! And maybe has a few edgelordy moments, but mostly just silly! I am very proud of this shiny little trash bag!

50 - current obsessions

*knocks politely on your door* Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Guzmamore? *wedges my foot inside so you can't close it* listen i was skeptical too ok I was SO SKEPTICAL ok so last april??? I was just hanging around on pinterest, as you do, when I stumbled across this art by Alcka (who is an absolutely lovely artist btw and they have more guzmamore art) and let me tell you something my friend it ACTIVATED something in me and i am about to go on a very long rambling rant about this so im gonna put it under the cut ok??

SO LISSEN OKAY JUST LISSEN im crying im sobbing I used to have a Team Rocket!Sycamore RP blog back in 2013/14ish and I used to play Guzma briefly in Wild Encounters and I thought I had packaged them up and put them in the closet under the shoes but I saw that one piece of art (WHICH SYCAMORE TECHNCIALLY IS NOT EVEN IN!!!) and I became absolutely F E R A L about them overnight like it was supposed to be silly it was supposed to be hahaha and then like a one shot where they kept running into each other on Melemele and went on a silly little date but YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM SO MANY

Because as silly as it WAS once I started writing Turning Point I started kind of like finding this vibe between them??

Like on the one hand you have Guzma who has problems with authority and mommy issues and probably daddy issues too who makes a point not to rely on other people but will fall in line for anyone who gives him a pat on the head

On the other hand you have Augustine whose best friend/lover just died catastrophically but not only that who betrayed him and stabbed him in the back so thoroughly and also he had to give you a medal and a parade for getting lysandre killed like Augustine too has issues no matter what backstory you give him just based on XY alone if the man did not start with issues the man has developed issues

And like to make matters WORSE the headcanons I developed for them completely separately during the times I played either of them ALSO kind of started to vibe? idk idk just each of their dispositions like augustine being a feral little freak and guzma being kind of sturdy and down-to-earth when he's not a seething mess they just started to balance each other out and suddenly i had a finished fic and i couldn't get them out of my head and now somehow i have 4 more long fics in planning mode for these two idiots i just hhhHHHHHHH i cant get over them i love them too much the rarest of my pairs

also i have recently become obsessed with the idea of making pokemon character muppets

[andrewmoocow]

Two Sides of the Same Gem chapter 2: We are the Crystal Regime (originally posted on February 6, 2023)

AN: Last time on Two Sides of the Same Gem, Jasper and White Topaz journeyed to another universe where absolutely nothing is like what they're used to. Steven rules the Earth and Black Rutile of all characters leads the resistance against him. What sort of events could've led to a world this upside down? What can our heroes do to stop this menace before he makes plans to conquer their universe? And where's our Black Rutile in all this? Tune in and find out!

Cast:

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Overcooked Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz, Rebel White Topaz

Noël Wells as Black Rutile, Rebel Black Rutile

Zach Callison as Lord Steven Universe

Estelle as Toxic Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Sadist Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Sycophant Pearl

Jennifer Paz as Psycho Lapis, Rebel Zuli

Shelby Rabara as Nihilist Peridot

Della Saba as Aquamarine, Rebel Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Rebel Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate, Rebel Holly Blue

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye, Rebel Cat's Eye

Jinkx Monsoon as Rebel Emerald

Kari Wahlgren as Rebel Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Rebel Demantoid

Hayley Kiyoko as Rebel Morganite

Grace Rolek as Rebel Connie

Tom Scharpling as Slave Greg

--

"I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that for us?" Jasper asked, astonished at what she had just heard from her and White Topaz's mystery savior. As if discovering an alternate reality where Steven was an evil dictator was crazy enough, in came what they assumed to be a reformed Black Rutile that just saved them from a pair of police drones.

"I am Black Rutile, leader of the Lucent Gems resistance force against the forces of the Crystal Regime." Black Rutile introduced herself again. "Is something the matter? Do you need your hearing checked? Of course, that might not be possible since we naturally don't have ears."

"Wait for a second; I think I know where we are!" White Topaz declared in realization. "We're in a mirror universe!"

"A mirror what now?" Jasper asked, even more confused than she already was.

"A mirror universe, it's something you see in tons of sci-fi stuff." White Topaz explained the concept. "Basically, it's a universe where everything we know is wrong. Black is white, up is down, short is long, good is evil, and vice versa. And at least one person has to have an immaculately groomed beard to signify they're an evil version of someone we know."

"Doesn't seem like you two are from around here." The alternate Black Rutile pondered the two Gems. "That would explain why Topaz is much more talkative and Jasper is way bigger than usual."

"What do you mean?" White Topaz wondered.

"I shall explain later." The rebel Black Rutile replied. "But time is short; more police drones will likely show up soon!" She then wrapped herself in her cape and spun around before disappearing from sight. "Follow me!" However, neither Jasper nor White Topaz knew where Black Rutile had gone, until she appeared above them on a rooftop. "Maybe it'll be easier if I led you to our base."

--

Meanwhile, the prime universe Black Rutile wasn't faring as well as her enemies had. The moment she and the Rutile Rebels were ejected from the portal, they were confused for members of some rebellion and thrown in prison. There, she was greeted with the revelation that this was a world where the Crystal Gems had enslaved humanity after killing the Diamonds. While Black Rutile was elated to find a version of the Gems that were as cruel as she believed the ones from her universe were, she was not pleased with being branded as a criminal and a rebel in their eyes. And it was about to get worse from there.

"Black Rutile Facet-1E3F Cut-7WQ, at last we have you in our clutches." Peridot coldly announced as she, Lapis Lazuli, and Jasper strolled towards the cell where Black Rutile was being held.

As she expected, the three Gems were strikingly different from the ones she usually antagonized. Peridot still had her limb enhancers and wore an eternally cold, borderline emotionless expression. Jasper was incredibly skinny and frail, with a nervous expression on her face, indicating that she was defective, and her self-esteem suffered greatly for it. Meanwhile, Lapis's hair was incredibly messy, and Black Rutile even noticed some bloodstains on her body, even on that psychotic grin she wore to differentiate her from her partner. "We shall make this quick. But then again, it'll probably matter as much as everything else how long you have until you are executed, which is never."

"So spill it, shrimp; what's with the shades?!" Lapis exclaimed with a toothy, bloodthirsty smile. "What's your secret?"

"My secret is that this is all a big misunderstanding! I don't come here as an enemy; I want to come as an ally!" Black Rutile urged her interrogators. "I actually come here from another universe where the Crystal Gems pride themselves on peace and love when all they've done is discriminate against anyone who doesn't like them, like me, for example!"

"A likely story, rebel." Peridot robotically proclaimed. "We have seen through many of your lies before, and this is no different."

"Guys, maybe we should try listening to her." The skinny Jasper meekly suggested.

"SHUT UP, JASPER!" Peridot and Lapis yelled in Jasper's face.

"Wait!" a raspy female voice cried out from the next cell over. Stepping forward, its occupant revealed herself as a much older version of Connie Maheswaran, one who was a bit more muscular with an arm missing and a few scars over her eyes. "Let her talk, Regime scum."

"Wait, Macklemore-Swanson, you too?!" Black Rutile gasped in shock at the familiar-looking woman next to her. "What happened? What is this place?! Is this the alternate universe I was looking for?"

"You say you're from an alternate universe?" Peridot said with a voice that screamed absolute nihilism.

"Don't fall for it, geek; she may be using another one of her mind tricks." Lapis suggested while playing some mind games on Peridot to prove her point.

"And you claim that your world has its own Crystal Gems?" Peridot ignored Lapis's urging.

"Unfortunately." Black Rutile replied. "What's the deal with your versions?"

"You said your Crystal Gems promoted peace and love, huh?" Connie asked. "Well, the ones ruling this joint aren't that much different, just way more brutal." With that, she began to tell a story.

--

This is but one of the legends of which the people speak. Legends of how a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the Gem Homeworld was ruled by the four Diamonds. The perfectionist White, volatile Yellow, morose Blue, and their youngest known as Pink. Much like the world that Black Rutile knows, Pink was belittled for her inexperience and bratty behavior and was given the Earth as her first colony to get her off the other Diamonds' backs. However, the planet happened to be inhabited by organic life, and Pink Diamond grew attached to its inhabitants. But that was when everything changed.

Unlike the main Pink Diamond, who saw humanity as creatures to be protected, the Pink Diamond of this world wondered why the Diamonds wanted these creatures exterminated when they could make even better soldiers than collateral damage. Despite her pleas, the other Diamonds refused, ordering Pink to get back to work or they would take away her precious colony. Enraged at this betrayal, Pink decided to fake her death and took on the identity of a Rose Quartz to overthrow the Gem empire and rule the entire universe. From there, she began building a grand army.

A Bismuth who preferred tinkering with weapons of mass destruction for her own selfish gain.

A Pearl who wanted everything in the universe and asked for nothing but loyalty.

And a fusion, not born out of love or even lust for power, but because her components hated each other so much, yet, they seemed perfect together at the same time.

Together, these four Gems became the leaders of what Rose called the Crystal Regime. This totalitarian empire sought to dispose of the tyrannical Diamonds and claim their military might in the name of what Rose believed to be peace and love. Thousands of Gems all gathered under Rose's leadership and iron will with only one manifesto guiding them. "Fight for control of the entire universe. Enslave all human beings, except the ones who will resist. Believe in love that only you can control. And give everything for your supreme leader!"

The ensuing war fought between Rose's regime, and the Diamonds' authority was a long and brutal one. Gems and humans alike were slaughtered by the hundreds for thousands of years, to the point where the Diamonds elected to completely destroy the planet in one final attack to get the Regime out of their collective hairs.

Unfortunately, the three monarchs never got the chance to do such an act as, thanks to their Pearls serving as inside men that Rose's Pearl strong-armed into spying for the Regime, Rose led a final assault on Homeworld to stop the Diamonds in their tracks, ending the war once and for all by shattering them all with a Gem-killing superweapon developed by Bismuth. To add further insult to injury, Rose revealed her true identity as Pink Diamond to White Diamond before ending her life and promptly taking command of the entire Gem empire.

From there, the Crystal Regime enjoyed a long and prosperous reign over Earth as the seat of their new empire. However, their rulership wasn't without its problems. A certain Rutile took issue with the oppression enforced by the Crystal Regime and formed her own resistance to free the Earth from their iron grip. She even successfully killed Bismuth in battle, forcing the Regime to replace her with an Amethyst who emerged as the perfect soldier despite her sadistic tendencies. And then there was the day that Pink Diamond believed that her time might be coming to an end, so to prevent the end of her legacy, the Gems kidnapped a runaway human slave calling himself Mr. Universe to help them produce an heir to Pink's throne.

--

Just mere minutes ago, Pink had given up her physical form to give life to a healthy baby boy bearing her gem. As his father Greg warmly held his newborn son in his arms, Pearl coldly stood and watched this touching scene with malicious intent.

"Peridot, any updates on the baby?" Pearl asked as she turned to Peridot.

"The infant seems to be in stable condition for someone with a rather unique anatomy." Peridot analyzed the baby's vitals. "Due to the procreation between the human and our late ruler, he now possesses Pink's gem where his navel should be. No doubt, he will possess our supreme leader's abilities as well once he reaches puberty."

"Perfect." Pearl grinned evilly while brandishing her spear. "And what of the father?"

"Unfortunately, he seems to be of no use to us anymore." Peridot continued droning. "He refuses to act like a good slave and insists on treating others with kindness."

"SAY WHAT?!" Pearl roared angrily. "Have we not treated our subjects with kindness for the past thousands of years?! Very well, I shall see to his dismissal myself!" With that, Pearl stormed off to have a word with Greg in private. "And be sure to make preparations for disposing of the body."

Meanwhile, Greg was spending his first moments with his newborn son, ensuring that it would be a special time for his newborn bundle of joy. "Hm, now what should I name you?" Greg asked. "How about Clark? Nah, sounds a little too geeky. Maybe Bruce or Zach? Ooh, I got it! How does Steven sound?" The baby giggled a little, indicating to Greg that he liked the name. "You like that, little guy? You wanna be called Steven?"

"Good day, Gregory." Pearl hissed as she entered the hospital room. "If you are done spending time with the baby, then allow me to take him into my capable hands."

"Oh, already?" Greg asked. "Well, you're going to let me have him back eventually? After all, I am his dad now."

"I am sorry, Gregory, but we believe you have fulfilled your purpose as the one to sire Pink's heir." Pearl said without a shred of sympathy before taking the baby Steven out of Greg's hands and handing him to a nursing drone to be taken away. "Which means it's time for you to be let go."

"Wait, purpose?" Greg asked. "You mean all this time I was just nothing more than a baby machine for you guys?! But that's horrible; your empire is horrible!" He then came to a realization, one that would ultimately be the last he would ever make. "YOU'RE HORRIBLE! You're all a bunch of irredeemable monsters!"

"Oh my, I wonder what took you so long?" Pearl asked dryly before brandishing her spear and stabbing Greg on the spot, killing him in a heartbeat and dropping his dead body on the floor. When Peridot arrived, she discovered Pearl standing over the recently killed human with blood covering her spear. "Hello, Peridot."

"We have decided to cremate the human." Peridot announced emotionlessly before looking down at the new corpse below the two Gems. "I see you've already handled the first part of it."

"Good, get rid of the body as quick as possible." Pearl commanded as a few more drones carried Greg's body away. "I don't want this human filth in front of me any longer."

Soon after, Steven was raised by the Crystal Regime to follow in his deceased mother's footsteps and become what she believed to be a fair and just ruler. However, if this Steven existed in the prime world, he would perhaps be called an even bigger fascist than the Diamonds. Everything that the regular Steven was, a tenderhearted and optimistic boy who wore his feelings on his sleeve and wanted to help anyone he could, this Steven wasn't. This Steven was a brutal dictator who wanted nothing more from everyone than to be worshipped as a benevolent god and genuinely believed himself to be a good person despite his tyranny. Needless to say, Black Rutile would love this guy. However, he still had a lot to live up to as the leader of the Crystal Regime.

--

Meanwhile, deep within the woods outside Beach City, the rebellious counterpart of Black Rutile led Jasper and White Topaz through the forest while keeping an eye out on any Crystal Regime soldiers that could possibly find them. "My friends, what I am about to show you are my rebellion's secret lair, kept hidden away from the eyes of the Regime for many years using state-of-the-art technology to make sure it stays a secret!"

"Well, what kind of technology do you use?" White Topaz asked. "I mean, you got a Demantoid around to help you with any machine-related stuff?"

"It's a secret to everyone." Black Rutile answered with a cheeky wink as they neared what seemed to be an alternate reality version of the cave in the woods that Black Rutile turned into her lair after her first defeat. She then knocked on the hidden door leading to the cave. "Guys, it's me; your grandiloquent leader has returned with guests!"

"Are you sure?" what White Topaz assumed to be her own voice on the other side. "How do we know you're not a spy?"

"Well, who else can do this?" Black Rutile asked while wiggling her fingers at the door. White Topaz seemed to have bought it and opened the door, revealing a White Topaz seeming much different from the one Jasper fell in love with. Her face had a permeant scowl on it as she got a look at her counterpart and sneered.

"Hi, I'm you from another universe!" White Topaz eagerly greeted her other self.

"Charmed." The other White Topaz grunted quietly before letting the three Gems in. Jasper and White Topaz were greeted by the sight of Black Rutile's entire resistance force of Gems standing together against Steven, all of them being parallel universe versions of Gems that they already know.

"Oh, Black Rutile, we are so elated that you're alive!" an alternate Aquamarine exclaimed happily. "Do you need anything, my grand leader? Perhaps a comfy pillow and a drink?"

"OMG, are there two White Topazes now?" a ditzier version of Eyeball asked. "What is happening here?"

"Pyrope, would you please be a dear and clean up after yourself?" Holly Blue asked Pyrope in a motherly tone of voice as she picked up various discarded pieces of trash. "I may be the caretaker of this resistance, but I'm not your maid."

"I'll do it when I have the time." Pyrope replied while snacking on Chaaaaps and watching competitive cheerleading on TV. "By that I mean when I feel like it."

"Hey, can you keep your junk out of my space already?" Demantoid asked Morganite, who had cluttered Demantoid's workshop with her belongings. "I may be a total quack, but I know full well that my space is my space!"

"I'm sorry, but I believe this is OUR space, as in the entire rebellion shares it." Morganite argued with Demantoid. "No need to think you have everything to yourself!"

"Enough talk, you two!" Emerald roared as she strolled into the room with a very menacing air about her. "Would you like to hear about the soldiers I have taken down recently? None of them realized what little time they had left. One minute? Tick, tick, tick! 30 seconds? Tick, tick, tick! Or perhaps even no time at all."

"Can't you go one second without being totally extra to prove how much of a threat you are to Steven?" an alternate Zuli, who wore her hair down and acted more like Laz, snarked. "We already have enough overacting from Cat."

"Oh, my glorious leader!" Cat's Eye pounced onto the scene in tears, causing her makeup to start running. "You have no idea how worried we all were for you! You truly are the heart and soul of this entire rebellion, the reason we all keep going!"

"Oh, Cat, you always know how to put a smile on my face." Black Rutile chuckled while pinching the bootlicker's cheek. "So, everyone, I'd like you to meet a Jasper and White Topaz from another dimension that I found! Girls, allow me to introduce you to the Lucent Gems."

"Uh, hi, everyone." Jasper awkwardly greeted the resistance. "This is super weird, considering that most of you either are or were my enemies."

"So what's life like in your universe, dearie?" Holly asked while pinching Jasper's cheek. "I'm sure you have a much better life than the one the people of our Earth are forced to live."

"That's exactly why we're here." White Topaz explained. "There's a version of Black Rutile from our universe who found this one because she wants revenge for her plans to conquer the universe being foiled by the Crystal Gems of our world. There's this portal she put back together called the Vortexxer she used to get here, and there's no doubt she'll want to share her secrets with the Steven of this world too."

"That does sound serious." The alternate Black Rutile nodded. "If there's one thing I know about Lord Steven, it's that he'll use anyone to his advantage to pursue his goal of spreading his deranged, possessive ideas of love. You can count on us to help you out against him."

"Hey, that reminds me." Jasper said. "What are your origins like here? Our Black Rutile got tired of the status quo of our world and formed her rebellion out of Gems who also wanted revenge on Steven."

"It's the same thing for me as well." The heroic Black Rutile proclaimed. "I grew tired of Steven's tyranny and formed the Lucent Gems to avenge the Diamonds and everyone who ever suffered under the Regime's rule. Can you tell me where she is now?"

"We followed her here, but now I'm not exactly sure where." Jasper answered. "Though knowing her, she's probably got a plan."

--

At that moment, Lord Steven Universe was gazing at a portrait of his late mother that hung over his head. Much like his prisoner Connie, this world's Steven was far older and more muscular, with his royal garb mixing the primary Steven's shirt with Pink Diamond's clothes, albeit with a slightly more masculine spin. He had dark pink jackboots over a pair of white leggings, a matching-colored cape and pair of gloves, and a black chestplate with a yellow star on it. In addition, he had deep pink eyes with diamond-shaped pupils like his mother, his gem was on his stomach and was an upside-down, five-sided diamond, and he had a neatly trimmed goatee on his face.

"Mother, it's me again." Steven greeted his mother's face. "I've gotten reports of the arrival of a Black Rutile from another dimension. I'm not sure whether she comes in peace, but please give me the strength to face whatever comes my way. I only want to live up to your hallowed name." The painting said nothing. "Fine, keep your peace."

"Lord Universe, the prisoners wish to speak with you!" the alternate Amethyst yelled.

"Send them in." Steven commanded, cuing Amethyst and alternate versions of Garnet & Pearl to shove the Rutile Rebels into Steven's quarters. "So, you call yourself Black Rutile, correct?"

"I am Black Rutile, yes." Black Rutile answered. "And you must be this world's Steven. I must say, it's like looking at his reflection."

"This other Steven you speak of, what is he like?" Lord Steven asked, stroking his chin in his hand. "Did he have any aspirations of conquering the universe as well?"

"Not necessarily." Aquamarine said grumpily. "But he still basically enslaved us all regardless! He brought the Diamonds to their knees with a stupid joke and forced them to do his bidding since!"

"Ending colonization!" Eyeball added.

"Demilitarizing our entire society!" Holly Blue exclaimed.

"Discriminating against anyone who doesn't agree with his demands!" Cat's Eye yelled. "It's utter anarchy, and no one has the guts to challenge his tyranny! Well, except for us, of course."

"Yes, we, the Rutile Rebels, were all that was left of the Gems who were brave enough to take issue with the Crystal Gems' oppressive rule over our people." Black Rutile declared. "I had enacted many a great plan to overthrow his regime, but unfortunately, due to various unforeseen circumstances like the betrayal of my bodyguard, they all ended in failure. We only come here to ask for your assistance in our cause."

"It truly is sad to see someone just trying to do what's right receive so much punishment for remaining staunch in their beliefs. "Lord Steven purred. "Which reminds me, given he's an alternative counterpart of myself, does this other Steven believe himself to be a hero as well?"

"Very much, perhaps even more than you." Black Rutile proclaimed. "I've been told that in this world, your mother decided to overthrow the Diamonds rather than leave them like a cowardly brat. Tell me, how much of her values have the Crystal Gems instilled in you? Let me guess, were they just as neglectful and abusive as their regular selves?"

"Silence, Rutile!" the alternate Pearl hissed with a blade to Black Rutile's neck. "We have only raised our lord with the most love and care we could offer her, and he will accept no substitutes for such loving parental figures as ours."

"Flattering yourself will get you nowhere, bootlicker." The alternate Garnet sourly jabbed while resisting the urge to un-fuse on the spot.

"If you must know, I have been instructed since birth to give love wherever I go, and anyone who refuses my compassion must be punished." Steven explained. "It's how I have gained the loyalty of so many souls and punished others for my entire life."

"Ooh, Connie was right; I love him already!" Black Rutile whispered to her minions. "He's brutal, tough, he knows how horrible he is, unlike that other guy, and flaunts it; he's an utterly perfect ally!"

Despite Black Rutile's excitement at the prospect of a team-up, some of her allies weren't as enthused. "I'm elated too, but I'd suggest keeping an eye on Lord Steven if I were you." Aquamarine cautioned her leader. "From what I've learned about human logic, I have discovered that everything that exists has a specific nature. Each entity exists as something in particular and has characteristics that are part of what it is. A is A. And no matter what reality he calls home, Steven Universe is Steven Universe."

"You raise a good point, Aquamarine, but I insist we give it a shot." Black Rutile proclaimed eagerly before turning back to Lord Steven. "My offer still stands, sir. Are you with us?"

"It's a deal." Lord Steven agreed to the offer and shook Black Rutile's hand. "However, if we are to create a way to access the other world, I know just what we need."

Close by, a tall & skinny silhouette watched the beginning of the Rutile Rebels and Crystal Regime's alliance from afar, and she was frightened by the idea of what could happen if the Regime expanded their rule beyond their world. "I have to warn them."

--

Back at the Lucent Gems' hidden headquarters, the resistance and their two new allies were all getting used to each other when suddenly, an alarm went off and blared throughout the hideaway. "What's happening?!" the main White Topaz exclaimed. "Is the Regime attacking?!"

"No, I believe we got a message." Black Rutile answered and made a dramatic leap towards a computer console on the other side of the cave, sliding along the back of a dinosaur statue and slamming her fist on the keyboard, allowing a communications channel to be opened up. "Greetings and bienvenue, my man on the inside. I trust that you have intel on our enemies' latest plans?"

"That's right. The Crystal Regime has quite possibly their greatest plan yet." A voice, muffled to hide its owner's true identity, revealed to the Lucent Gems. "They have aligned themselves with an evil version of you from another world to help get revenge on their version of the Crystal Regime, or the Crystal Gems as they're called."

"Black Rutile!" Jasper growled, pounding a fist into her palm. "What do they want?!"

"They're looking for an artifact called the Seer to the Void that will help them travel to other worlds." The voice continued, sparking interest in Jasper and White Topaz.

"Wait, that's what Black Rutile used to get here!" White Topaz cried. "Where is it hiding?"

"I'll come back with more info later; I hear someone coming." The voice declared and ended the call.

"Just as I feared, the Crystal Regime is planning something big." The parallel Black Rutile stated. "Especially since you're not the only ones from that other world to come here, I believe."

"Yeah, our Black Rutile wants that Steven's help in getting revenge on the Crystal Gems!" Jasper proclaimed. "We have to stop them no matter what!"

"Then consider us following you every step of the way." The rebellious Rutile declared before shaking hands with Jasper and White Topaz. "We'll need to act quickly, though. There's no telling what those two are doing."

--

That ends Part 2, folks! The race to save Jasper and White Topaz's Earth is on, and the battle against the Crystal Regime is just beginning! I had a lot of fun delving deep into the lore of the evil universe and just how different its native versions of Steven and the Crystal Gems are from the one we know. And yes, I planned for Steven to have the mirror universe goatee from the start, it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. There will be more to come of these Gems in the final two chapters of Two Sides of the Same Gem starting next time, so stay tuned!

[kelyon]

TMI Tuesday!

Good morning Tumblr! Happy Thanksgiving Adam to all who celebrate!

Before we begin, do you have a moment to talk about Our Lord and Savior, Rumbelle Secret Santa? Okay, I’m not gonna do my whole spiel of how great it is and how much I love it and how you should join in on the fun. That was last week’s post. (Though if anyone wants to drop me an ask about the event, I’d be happy to answer questions.) The main point is that SIGN UPS END AT 11:59 PM ON THURSDAY THE 24TH. Yes, that is midnight on Thanksgiving Day (for those who celebrate American Thanksgiving.) If you have been meaning to sign up but just haven’t gotten around to it, this is your sign to get on that. Go to @rumbellesecretsanta for details.

Okay, on to the main event!

I posted chapter 20 of Dark Mistress on Friday. It seemed to, ah, get a reaction out of the commenters. I’m glad this story finally got to the point where stuff starts happening. We’re coming to the end of Act 2, so the characters are reaching their lowest points. Bae especially is hanging out with shady characters and making promises he doesn’t understand. 

Next chapter (”Confrontation”) we’re finally getting back to Belle’s POV. She is also in a bad mental state and will end up talking to assholes. I’m only about a page in so far, because I lost a few days of writing to family stuff. 

I’m not sure if the upcoming holiday will result in me writing more or less than usual. I had a thought that I’d be able to post Chapter 3 of Live Wire on Friday, but that doesn’t seem likely. The chapter is getting a bit more complicated than I thought it would (story of every writer ever.) So we might not see this for a while. 

For the rest of 2022, my focus is going to be Dark Mistress, my RSS Fic, and Solstice, a seasonal one-shot has been in my head for a while. Hopefully it won’t stay there. 

So, ask away whatever is on your mind. I hope you all have a wonderful day and SIGN UP FOR THE RUMBELLE SECRET SANTA

Dark Mistress is here

My inbox is here

[raine-dance]

Oh come on, Homestucks. This is the Homestuck website and we are GETTING OUR SHAME GLOBES HANDED TO US on RESPLENDENT FLATWARE.

Propaganda time.

Listen, My Lullaby is good and all. But Eternity Served Cold is the culmination of all that has come before it, narratively. It is the theme of the very beginning. The ascension of one Caliborn to godhood, to narrative control and to the recontextualisation of everything bad that ever happened to humanity and trollkind. It is the theme of the very end. The final battle amongst the final battles of [S] Collide. The fight against Lord English, the mad god that Caliborn becomes.

We start off with the Sburban Jungle motif - moreso than any other track, the theme representative of the comic as a whole. When Sburban Jungle finishes, English continues - to phrase it another way, Caliborn takes over the story. Revelawesome pops in at about 2:40 - and, well. The theme represents what its title might suggest. Power that you can only be awestruck in imagining. Full control of everything, the ability to play god, what happens when you destroy the meaning of what is heroic and what is just and take it for your own. Some other musical stuff happens. Listen. That's the first half, alright? That's not what I wanna talk about. It's amazing, sure, but I've only got your collective attention spans for one post, I might as well skip to what really matters.

The second half is what plays during Lord English's final moments. The fight is canonically parallel to all of the others that are happening in [S] Collide. As English is at his most triumphant, so are all of the other villains - Jack Noir, Jack English, Spades Slick. The Condesce. The Felt. The heroes are out of it, and seem down for the count... until Serenity flies by.

Serenity, and the theme that plays when she arrives, are important. Serenity is a firefly. Thousands of pages beforehand, her brethren were the ones to carry our main character, John Egbert, to godhood, and when they did so, we were introduced to a new leitmotif - and I do consider it a leitmotif, because it does have a thematic attachment - hope.

Penumbra Phantasm was never released, and yet it is still the favourite theme of many Homestuck fans. When John ascends, Savior of the Waking World introduces Penumbra Phantasm to the soundtrack as a motif. John rises up, and all of his friends, scattered across the medium, frantic, confused, and ultimately directionless, see it, and feel hope.

The theme would continue to play at pivotal moments in the plot, and it would continue to represent this important emotion in the harsh, cruel story where everyone dies at least once.

And here Serenity is, and here the theme plays once more.

The heroes get up. They fight back. Across the medium in the present, and in the dream bubbles against Lord English. Then we get Doctor - the theme Penumbra Phantasm was made as a counter-melody to, and a theme that is deeply personal to us as a fandom due to its connections not only with Egbert and a theme at the core of Homestuck's discography, but the dearly departed Buzinkai, who wrote the theme. And hey. The fights... they're cool and all. We get an Undertale reference, Aradia does some neat shit... but the scene with Serenity is perhaps one of the most emotionally resonant in the entire comic.

So if you, yes you personally dare let this lose on Round 1, I will personally see to it that all of your food is eaten and you have to spend money on a groceries run. Good fucking day.

Villain Song Showdown Bracket H Round 1

Eternity Served Cold (Homestuck) - Villain: Caliborn/Lord English

My Lullaby (The Lion King 2) - Villain: Zira

Mod comment: I got more submissions for My Lullaby than I thought I would. Do you guys like Lion King 2 that much?

[adobe-outdesign]

That Drew World Anon:

I told a friend about the idea for Boris’ nametag, and she drew this. So yeah here.

[makeste]

have you noticed in the latest chapter the light is gone from Izuku's eyes? The same way it was gone from Katsuki's between his rescue and Deku vs Kacchan 2 fight. Izuku is hurting inside and im sitting here wondering how long will it be til he hits breaking point

so I’m late in answering these two asks (got them last week after 309 came out) because a certain someone had his birthday and so I was busy reading fanfic and hunting down gremlin faces, and then 310 came along and so I got distracted with that, and also I just suck at answering asks. but anyways, yes. yes to all of this, and thank you both for pointing this out. like, let’s talk about this. because this is how Deku’s eyes look normally,

and this is him in the latest chapter.

first of all, this is really well-played imo, because it’s all about consistency. it’s a very subtle change (or at least I thought it was lol), and the reason it’s so effective is because Horikoshi is so consistent in drawing the “normal” bright-eyed Deku look that you can’t help but notice the change when he suddenly stops. even if you can’t necessarily put your finger on exactly what’s off at first, I think most people definitely got that feeling of something being wrong. and that’s very deliberate.

so why is this important? well because a lot of people’s big fear right now is that the story is tacitly endorsing Deku’s recent choices and painting them as right/correct. namely, people are worried that this whole thing with Deku striking off on his own (because let’s be real, that’s exactly what he’s done; it doesn’t matter that All Might and the Hawksquad are accompanying him, because he’s clearly keeping his distance from them and is ready to give them the slip the moment things get bad) is going to be framed as The Right Decision Which Is Best For Everyone. and for a lot of people, that comes as a betrayal, because up until this point the series has espoused teamwork and trust as core virtues, and what Deku is doing right now is basically the opposite of that.

and this is why little details like the Despondent Eyes of Angst and Despair (or D.E.A.D. eyes for short) are so important -- because they signal to us that this is not the case. they are a very clear visual indicator that in spite of him appearing to have his shit together, Deku is very much not okay right now. like, let me just repeat that one more time: Deku is not fine. Deku is very much not fine here at all. Despondent Eyes of Angst and Despair are not just a little thing to be ignored. D.E.A.D. eyes are a dead giveaway that a character is Going Through It and is not in the right state of mind right now and needs help. but before I start spamming this post with images, let me add a read more cut.

okay, so! case in point,

Nana’s eyes normally:

vs. Nana’s eyes when she’s talking about potentially killing her grandson in order to defeat AFO:

Iida’s eyes normally:

vs. Iida’s eyes when he’s plotting premeditated murder to avenge his brother:

and again, Deku’s eyes normally:

vs. Deku’s eyes in chapters 306 through 310:

Deku’s eyes were still clear all the way up through chapter 305 when he was talking to the Vestiges about wanting to save Tomura. in fact, they were clear af when he was giving his speeches about that, because that light in his eyes always shines brightest when he’s speaking and acting with true conviction. it’s one of the ways the art shows us how determined he is. when Deku talks about saving people no matter what, he’s speaking straight from the heart about one of the core principles of his character, and the look in his eyes reflects that.

now contrast that against the look in his eyes when he talks about not wanting anyone else to get hurt:

once you see it, you can’t not see it. it’s Horikoshi’s way of showing that even though it may sound like the Same Old Deku on the surface, it absolutely is not the Deku we’ve come to know and love. something is deeply wrong. even though these might appear to be the same old convictions he’s always had -- protect everyone at all costs -- he’s gone from acting out of belief and principle to acting out of fear. he’s afraid of someone else getting hurt because of him. he’s so afraid that he’s pushing people away left and right to stop it from happening again. and that fear is holding him back, because as long as he’s holding himself apart from everyone else and trying to do it all solo, he’s making the same mistake that All Might once did. no one can bear all of that weight on their shoulders alone. AFO isn’t someone who can be defeated by any one person alone. the only way he’s ever going to be defeated is if the characters hold true to the one ideal that’s at the very core of the series: one for all. the combined strength of many, working together to overcome the selfish, arrogant, limited strength of one.

basically, this right here is why I haven’t been concerned about the story suddenly veering off the rails with this latest development. like, this isn’t Our Lord And Savior Deku being put on a pedestal and worshipped while all the other characters are shoved aside. this is Literally-Still-Just-A-Child Deku having an angst spiral while the distracted adults around him try their best to keep an eye on him but kind of suck at it because there’s too much other stuff going on that they’re also trying to deal with. All Might could be the one to help him in theory, but in practice he’s too accommodating and doesn’t really know how to say ‘no’ to this kid he loves like his own son, and right now he’s basically letting Deku walk all over him. as for the Vestiges, they’re great for helping Deku in battle, but well, how do I put this lol. basically I’m not fully sold on trusting Deku’s mental health to a bunch of angst-ridden martyrs who all died willingly in order to further the cause of taking AFO down. not really the best life coaches, there.

but you know who I do trust to finally get through to Deku and get him to see reason and start having faith in others again?

these guys.

so yeah. tl;dr, Deku isn’t okay right now and we’re not meant to think he is. and unless I’m way off base, this is going to be a very temporary arrangement. I don’t think Deku can continue as he is right now indefinitely. saving others has been his whole thing since the very start of the manga, but like everything else, eventually it has to come full circle. and I think that very soon, it’s finally going to be his turn to be saved. luckily for him, he’s got some good (and determined) friends. and as they say, giving help that’s not asked for is part of what makes a true hero.

[mrs-cavill-wife]

Forbidden Witch (1/?)

Pairing: Charles Brandon x Female Reader (Cassandra of Boudicca)

Warning: Fantasy. Language. Forbidden Love. Tell me if I miss something.

Author's Note: Here I go again writing inspired on a dream I had. I can say, besides "The Tudors", there's a little of "The Witcher" too because there's familiar monsters and characters. Most of the name of places on this fanfic is all my creation but some I searched on Google or asked help from my friends. Hope you guys enjoy it, reblog if you do and I'm all ears to feedback! My tag List this time is for my last followers, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Part 2 coming soon!!

Tag List: @lexyvaldez26 @thereisa8ella @natura1phenomenon @mrsavery @number1chonie @themanfromu @littlefreya @legendarywizarddetective @lovingbearherringhairdo @zealoushound @deangal-101 @everydaymultifandom @summersong69 @jgtfvhsg @tellingyouastory @sillyrabbit81 @nuggsmum @pussyverson @oh-for-fic-sake @foodieforthoughts @fanficlover91 @r-t-doll @its--fandom--darling @poledancingdinos @hlkwrites @rmtndew

Riding under the moonlight, this is definitely one of the things that brings me peace. I love to run aimlessly with my horse, Atlas.

Was having a little party in the village, my village, the place where I was born. Boudicca. In fact, I spent more time at Aretuza, a school for witches, sorceress. I was "discovered" when I was about eight years old. My parents were simple traders, workers, but the income was never enough for the three of us.

I remember the day when I was playing with the pigs, few of which had not yet been sold and that woman appeared. Skinny, with a beautiful gray dress, perfectly neat hair, looked like a queen at the time. Tissaia. I saw her watch me for a long moment, before the question that would change my life.

"How much do you want for the girl?"

Yes. She wanted to buy me. I was in shock for the moment. She and my parents argued for a long time and I just wondered what would a rich woman want with a muddy little girl? A new servant, perhaps? No, she must surely have millions.

Today I know, Tissaia is tricky, smart, knows the words to use. Like a snake observing the prey, taking notes of the moves, the weakness and the best moment to the first attack. She had been watching me and my family. I had called her attention when she was passing through Boudicca, she saw a lot of potential in me, despite my young age, I would be her apprentice.

And so it was done. She made a deal with my parents. She would pay them a kind of penance, a new house, enough to live in safe and happy, but they would have to forget me. I could hate them but I know they didn't have much of a choice. I knew that they loved me and did it to save me, they had in mind that I would have a good life and become something bigger than any opportunity I would have there.

And technically, that's what happened. Aretuza was difficult, the other students were much older than me, more sure of themselves, some came from noble families. I was scared but over time I became determined. I became one of the best and youngest witches in Aretuza, Tissaia said that my power was pure chaos and more. I could destroy an entire kingdom if I wanted to. So good, Tissaia said that I could become a dean just like her, or maybe something like an assistant, she would love to have me by her side but it was never my will and unfortunately for her, I went down my own path when she had nothing more to teach me anymore. It was the first time that I saw a small hint of sadness in her strong image on the day I left.

She is the one who gave me the Atlas. She said it was an albino horse, rare, just like me. I hugged her. Tissaia of Vries is a tough woman, obviously she didn't return my action, but she watched me as I rode away. Until my image disappears from her field of vision.

It was a long journey but I returned to Boudicca. A few years had passed and unfortunately, when I arrived, the city lived in poverty and my parents.. had died of an illness. I blamed myself for a few days. I could have helped them but I couldn't have known they were succumbing.

I remember visiting our old house, or what was left of it. I felt something so strong inside me, I think it was the first time that I lost control, when I realized, my hands were red, bleeding from my nose and fire was mirrored. After that, with the help of the surrounding residents, I built a new home.

And since then, I decided to stay. I help people. With their illnesses, attacks by monsters, thieves, disappearances and every kind of problem you can imagine. I even once helped a poor gentleman who was "unable to fulfill his duty as a husband" with his young wife.

There is a bit of everything here and I venture to say, since I stayed things improved a lot, I was known, at least here. "The famous Cassandra of Boudicca, our savior".

My thoughts of my story went away, a noise in the water caught my attention. It was night, everything was dark, except for the moonlight. I left Atlas eating grass and went looking for the sound. I passed through a bush and saw. A little blonde boy. Swimming. All by himself. What a dumb idea.

I was determined to leave but something in the water caught my eye. A pair of eyes? Oh no. At least, six pair of eyes. Getting closer and closer to the little boy. FUCKING NEKKERS.

"BOY, GET OUT OF HERE"

My scream was enough to make the Boy look at me and stop. Of course, an opportunity for those monsters to attack, and so they did. FAT FUCKING SHIT.

I ran towards the boy, held out my hand and he grabbed it. I pulled him out of the lake and behind me, casting a spell towards the group of Nekkers. It was enough to push them away, but not enough to make them give up.

Now, I was the first option. They tried to attack me but they are nothing to me. I lures them out of the lake, with the boy behind me, and as soon as they are all on dry land, I cast a fire spell, turning them into a "beautiful" barbecue in a few seconds.

Seeing their dead bodies, I took a deep breath and looked at the boy, crossing my arms. He signed, it seemed like something part of his everyday because he knew what my first question would be and answered me.

"I know it is late and dangerous. I ran away. I was to swim a little and knew that my father would not let me. But don't worry, the royal guard must already be behind me, it's not the first time."

Dear lord, what's up with those kids those days?

"Do you know your way back home?"

He nodded and I huffed. I grabbed his hand walking on my way back to Atlas.

"Where are we going?"

I put him on my horse's back, climbing immediately afterwards and starting to ride.

"Back home, little troublemaker"

It wasn't a long journey, but that boy talked a lot. I learned that his name was Eric, son and heir to the kingdom of Aluma, his father was Alexander, and his mother, Queen Madeline. I also learned that he loves to escape. Poor parents.

[fairyysoup]

i was tagged by so many mutuals @morvantmortuary @bigtiddythanos @spookyspiderboiii and @edencherries to do this fun little ditty so here we go!

last song: money on that by isaac dunbar. I want everyone to understand that i NEED isaac dunbar to open for harry styles on tour it. would be a cultural reset

last movie: this is spinal tap. don't fucking look at me

currently watching: derry girls on netflix. it is genuinely the funniest show ever and i love to throw it on in the background while i'm writing

currently reading: scandal in spring by lisa kleypas and where the crawdads sing by delia owens. to be more specific i started where the crawdads sing and then decided i needed to read more smut so here we are

current obsession: do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior eddie munson no actually when i'm not completely consumed by thoughts of whatever joseph quinn character is the blorbo du jour, i'm obsessively cooking something out of Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking so. I may in fact be able to cook that ridiculous order of his off of James Acaster's podcast if I set my mind to it

no pressure tagging @maximoffwxnda @creme-bruhlee @mypoisonedvine @runawaywerewolf and anyone else who feels like doing it!! godspeed xx

[hieromonkcharbel]

Diverting a bit from my approach to the writings of the Philokalia, I wish to put forward a few thoughts about how we often think about illness in our lives and how the Holy Fathers offer us fresh insight into the mystery of evil, sin, illness and their place in our struggle for holiness.

Often, when we are young, we do not think much about physical illness and the spiritual life. Life passes quickly as we are fully engaged in our work, studies and ministry and many of us rarely struggle with ill health except for the occasional flu or cold. But when illness does strike, in one form or another, suddenly our busy and “productive” lives can be disrupted and we are forced, as it were, to reconsider a great deal of things; not merely the meaning of health, that we have perhaps taken for granted, but the nature of our relationship with God, the depth of our faith or lack thereof, the meaning of suffering and how to engage it and not to become discourage even when we have been completely humbled by the burden of our physical and emotional vulnerabilities. When such circumstances arise, we are often unprepared for the trial - never imagining or wanting to think about the possibility of such a cross - a cross the comes to most all of us at some point. When illness plunges us into unfamiliar territory, even to the point of death, what place does it have within our struggle toward holiness? How do we pray when prayer seems impossible and when it feels as though our heart has been turned to stone? Where do we find our hope and with what faith must we enter the mystery of illness and suffering in order to know the healing touch of Christ, the Physician of our souls and bodies?

I offer for your consideration today brief excerpts from “The Holy Fathers on Illness” compiled by Bishop Alexander Mileant; in particular those thoughts from the Fathers on “Illness and Work of Perfection”. Their words offer some perspective on sickness and redemptive suffering as a means of glorifying God. There is much to say certainly about the meaning and origins of illness well beyond the purview of a simple post, but the Fathers show us in word and deed that it can be and often is a privileged way of holiness. Through thankfulness, endurance, and patience one can realize the highest form of ascetic practice and follow a spiritual path to intimacy with God. At such moments, one may exhibit no extraordinary virtue other than to suffer illness and its poverty with patience and so have this as one’s path to salvation. Thus, the Fathers’ words are full of hope and challenge:

“The desert ascetic Father, St. Abba Dorotheus, exhorts his disciples to "take the trouble to find out where you are: whether you have left your own town but remain just outside the gates, by the garbage dump, or whether you have gone ahead little or much, or whether you are half way on your journey, or whether you have gone two miles, then come back two miles, or perhaps even five miles, or whether you have journeyed as far as the Holy City and entered into Jerusalem itself, or whether you have remained outside and are unable to enter" (On Vigilance and Sobriety).

Illness helps us to see "where we are" on life's road: "sickness is a lesson from God and serves to help us in our progress if we give thanks to Him" (Sts. Barsanuphius and John, Philokalia).

No one may use illness as an excuse for resting from the labor of spiritual living. "Perhaps some might think that illness and bodily weakness hinder the work of perfection since the works and accomplishments of one's hands cannot continue. But it is not a hindrance" (St. Ambrose, Jacob and the Happy Life).

In the life of Riassophore-monk John, latter-day disciple of St. Nilus of Sora, we see how bodily infirmity is not allowed to interrupt the struggle for salvation. Riassophore-monk John was a cripple; because of this he had been compelled to leave the Monastery of St. Cyril of New Lake. Feeling sorry for himself, he shortly afterwards was standing for an all-night vigil in the deep of winter. "Suddenly he saw an unknown Elder in schema come out of the altar to him and say: 'Well, apparently you do not wish to serve me. If so, return to St. Cyril.

"At these words, the Elder struck him with his right hand quite strongly on the shoulder. Noting that the Elder exactly resembled St. Nilus as he is depicted on the icon over his relics, John was filled with great joy, all his grief disappeared, and he firmly resolved to spend the rest of his life in the Saint's skete" (The Northern Thebaid).

Even if we are bedridden, we are to continue the struggle against the passions, producing fruits worthy of repentance. This work of perfection demands that we acquire patience and longsuffering. What better way to do this than when we lie on a bed of infirmity? St. Tikhon of Zadonsk says that in suffering we can find out whether our faith is living or just "theoretical." The test of true faith is patience in the midst of sufferings, for "patience is the Christian's coat of arms." "What is it to follow Christ?" he asks. It is "to endure all things, looking upon Christ Who suffered. Many wish to be glorified with Christ, but few seek to remain with the suffering Christ. Yet not merely by tribulation, but even in much tribulation does one enter the Kingdom of God."

To those who suppose that they can only progress in the spiritual life when all else is "well," St. John Cassian replies, "You should not think that you can find virtue when you are not irritated — for it is not in your power to prevent troubles from happening. Rather, you should look for patience as the result of your own humility and longsuffering, for patience does depend upon your own will" {Institutes). Towards the end of his life, St. Seraphim of Sarov suffered from open ulcers on his legs. "Yet," as his Life tells us, "in appearance he was always bright and cheerful, for in spirit he felt that heavenly peace and joy which are the riches of the glorious inheritance of the saints."

"You are stricken by this sickness," the Holy Fathers say, "so that you will not depart barren to God. If you can endure, and give thanks to God, this sickness will be accounted to you as a spiritual work" (Sts. Barsanouphius and John, Philokalia).

Bishop Theophan the Recluse explains: "Enduring unpleasant things cheerfully, you approach a little to the martyrs. But if you complain, you will not only lose your share with the martyrs, but will be responsible for complaining besides. Therefore, be cheerful!"

In order not to lose heart when we fall sick we are to think about and mentally "kiss the sufferings of our Savior just as though we were with Him while He suffers abuses, wounds, humiliations...shame, the pain of the nails, the piercing with the lance, the flow of water and blood. From this we will receive consolation in our sickness. Our Lord will not let these efforts go unrewarded " (St. Tikhon of Zadonsk).

The patience we can learn on a sickbed cannot be overemphasized. Elder Macarius of Optina wrote about this to one who was ill:

"I was much pleased to hear from your relation how bravely you are bearing the cruel scourge of your heavy sickness. Verily, as the man of the flesh perishes, so is the spiritual man renewed."

And to another he wrote: "Praised be the Lord that you accept your illness so meekly! The bearing of sickness with patience and gratitude is reckoned highly by Him Who often rewards sufferers with His imperishable gifts.

"Ponder these words: Though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed."

St. Ambrose of Milan compared an infirm body to a broken musical instrument. He explained how the "musician" can still produce God-pleasing "music" without his instrument:

"If a man used to singing to the accompaniment of a harp finds the harp broken, and its strings undone...he puts it aside and instead of calling for its notes he delights himself with his own voice.

"In the same way, a sick man allows the harp of his body to lie unused. He finds delight within his heart and comfort in the knowledge that his conscience is clear. He sustains himself with God's words and the prophetic writings and, holding these sweet and pleasant in his soul, he embraces them with his mind. Nothing can happen to him because God's graceful presence breathes favor upon him....He is filled with spiritual tranquility" (Jacob and the Happy Life).

Quite often the most God-pleasing spiritual "music" of all is produced in anonymity, by unknown or nearly-unknown saints. But such holy "melodies" are all the more sweet because they are heard by God alone. One such modern sufferer who lived an angel-like life in spite of advanced and terrible sickness was the holy New Russian Martyr, Mother Maria of Gatchina. Her story is known to us only because it pleased God to providentially arrange for one of her visitors, Professor I. M. Andreyev, to record his memories of her.

Mother Maria suffered from encephalitis (inflammation of the brain) and Parkinson's disease. "Her whole body became as it were chained and immovable, her face anemic and like a mask; she could speak, but she began to talk with half-closed mouth, through her teeth, pronouncing slowly and in a monotone. She was a total invalid and was in constant need of help and careful looking after. Usually this disease proceeds with sharp psychological changes, as a result of which such patients often ended up in psychiatric hospitals. But Mother Maria, being a total physical invalid, not only did not degenerate psychically, but revealed completely extraordinary features of personality and character not characteristic of such patients: she became extremely meek, humble, submissive, undemanding, concentrated in herself; she became engrossed in constant prayer, bearing her difficult condition without the least murmuring.

"As if as a reward for this humility and patience, the Lord sent her a gift: consolation of the sorrowing. Completely strange and unknown people, finding themselves in sorrows, grief, depression, and despondency, began to visit her and converse with her. And everyone who came to her left consoled, feeling an illumination of their grief, a pacifying of sorrow, a calming of fears, a taking away of depression and despondency" (The Orthodox Word, vol. 13, no. 3).

"Thus God has acted. Like a provident Father and not like a kidnapper has He first involved us in grievous things, giving us over to tribulation as it were to schoolmasters and teachers, so that being chastened and sobered by these things we may, after showing forth all patience and learning, all right discipline, inherit the Kingdom of Heaven" (St. John Chrysostom, Homily 18, On the Statues).”

Excerpts taken from:

Missionary Leaflet # EA30

466 Foothill Blvd, Box 397, La Canada, Ca 91011

Editor: Bishop Alexander (Mileant)

[enter-the-phantom]

For the acrostic one, Gabriel?

Oh god not this chucklefuck

G - Gush! talk about how much you love them 💜

Why would you allow me to do this.

I adore him. From the moment I first saw him before I even knew who he was I was just enamored and it got worse and worse and worse until I'm thinking about him all the goddamn time. We were the most adorable most iconic platonic soulmates and then I just had to ask myself "hey what would happen if I kissed Gabriel" and then I didn't stop asking it and then I fucked around and found out. fuck that guy. He is so goddamn cute and the most handsome most charming little fucker and I hate everything and he makes me so mad and so happy and I could literally talk about him for pages and never actually say anything of substance bc head empty. no thoughts. only Gabriel

A - Art - do they draw or paint? what about any other kind of art? what’s their favorite style/subject/another artist who inspires them?

He once presented me with this really crude comic of a dog and cat kissing and signed it with "do u like me circle yes or no"

We'd been openly romantically involved for two months.

Another time he gave me this black velvet painting of himself but stylized as like. a Renaissance portrait and I really don't want to scar you guys with the details of that painting but he was like "keep this in a place where you need a little extra beauty"

So...kinda? I don't really know? He's a wild card

B - Before - before you decided to make them your F/O, what did you first think of them/their source?

Me and Supernatural just have an odd history in general. All I knew about it for years was that I'd see ads on the CW when I was watching my I Love Lucy recordings and I thought the special effects were awful (they were and still are) and I'd laugh at it. Then I was in middle school during the height of the fandom and all I knew was that all the girls wanted to bang the Winchesters so I was just vaguely annoyed by its existence.

Then my bff @pearl-stonecutter (don't trust her) got me to watch it by telling me it was good celestial fiction (it kinda is) and had angels in it (boy does it ever). That was a mistake I'm still paying for to this day.

As for Gabriel I got really weirdly attached to him from the very first moment the obnoxious school janitor with the freaky powers showed up. I thought he was so great, probably just because I have a soft spot for chaotic neutral characters, being one myself irl. And then I made him a platonic f/o and I spiraled into hell from there. I've been a Gabriel simp from the very beginning and unfortunately have no plans to stop.

R - Rainbow - what colors do you associate with them and why?

Blue and gold. His wings, according to our lord and savior RSJ, are blue, and the fandom for whatever reason decided they were gold. But his eyes are golden hazel, so whatever. Also khaki green because of the dumb jacket that I may have stolen from him.

I - Image - show us a picture of them that gives you a lot of feelings. if they aren’t a visual character, describe your mental image of them!

look I answered the question, I don't want to talk about my answer. it gives me feelings, let's leave it at that

E - Emotion - is your f/o open with their feelings or do they keep them close to their chest?

He is, but he also isn't. He shows his emotions openly, but they're often not his real emotions. Like, he'll flirt shamelessly with you and every other thing that moves, but he'll hide how soft and emotional he is over you until you get him alone and draw it out of him. And he hides his negative emotions until they explode. He covers everything with humor and charm, and you won't know how much he's really hurting until he just loses it and you have to comfort him. You have to know how to read what he's really feeling, because he rarely shows anything that isn't his fun and goofy self that's always in control.

L - Language - what’s their love language? what’s yours?

He likes to make me laugh and just spend time with me, and he's very physically affectionate. I'm not great with showing my affection openly, but I find it easier with him because we started out as very close friends. As friends we were always all over each other, so even though it's a little difficult for me to show romantic affection, I try to treat him with the same crazy-about-him way I did when we were "just" friends. It's actually a little less open now that we're romantically involved bc my brain is dumb, but he thinks it's cute.

I love him so damn much good lord