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mulders-too-large-shirt · 2 months ago

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my favorite mulder moments from s6

doing his best to analyze the fragments of the x files left after the fire in episode 1, because he will never give up on anything he sets his mind to

veeeeery carefully handing the mystery beast’s claw to scully for analysis ("is that an animal?" "ain't rupaul")

accidentally traveling through a time warp in episode 3 and attempting to convince the ww2 soldiers that the war is actually over, then giggling at his own luck in tracing down the missing ship (NERD! nerd)

then finding ww2 era scully and being so confused as to why she doesn’t know him because… that’s scully!!! who knows him better than anyone in the world!

being trapped in the body of someone else in episode 4, and when he sees the photo of that guy’s wife and kids, he sadly whispers “scully” (and then when his “wife” slaps him awake, he AGAIN mumbles “scully”... yeah, she really is your family, huh?)

trying so hard to convince scully it’s really him trapped in someone else’s body: “your mother’s name is margaret, your brother’s name is bill jr. he’s in the navy and he HATES me” and the desperation in his voice when she still doesn't believe him :(

episode 5: “hey scully? i, uh, know it’s not your normal life, but thanks for coming out there with me” (there will always be bonus points for emotional communication and then even MORE bonus points for his reaction to discovering the waterbed right after. i'd frame it if i could)

maurice roasting him in episode 6 for being “prone to obsessive compulsiveness, workaholism, antisocialism- fertile fields for the descent into total wacko breakdown” <- get his ass

“you know why you think you’ve seen the things you do?” “because… i have seen them?” <- the SASS in that delivery! oh my!

finding the case file that spender shredded up in episode 7 and taping it together so he could investigate himself… lmao, that’s a man that gets results!

and then his great strategy for getting answers on that case being to annoy a demon until something happens... and it works <3

his reaction in episode 8 to scully being referred to as “the missus”; he mouths “oh!” and fidgets a bit, looking both terrible awkward and pleased, haha

and who can forget the iconic “i do not GAZE at scully”? surely not i!

finding skinner sick in his office late at night in episode 9- claiming he's just saying hello, then asking him if he’ll be okay, turning off all of the lights so he felt more comfortable, and angling a desk lamp so scully could inspect him

getting very jealous when scully gets assigned to the case of the mysterious death photographer in episode 10 without him: “i’m thinking murder by telekinesis. i’m thinking maybe a shamanistic death touch. i’m thinking about the muslim superstition that to photograph someone is to steal their soul” (and his righteous fury at the idea of them being separated 🙁)

being nosy throughout the whole episode because somehow he ended up with the files from kersh’s computer and calling her for frequent updates (and using a silly voice to say “we used to sit next to each other at the FBI” to make her smile while she's super annoyed with terrible agent ritter)

hunting through the FBI archives at 9 am to track down information for scully’s case, and when he learns that she is in danger and not picking up her phone, immediately calling trash agent ritter to go check in on her

when said trash partner SHOOTS and nearly KILLS scully, he goes to visit her in the hospital a week later, and corners him, saying only that he is a lucky man. you KNOW he wanted to get violent. amazing self-restraint on him!

grabbing scully’s hand in her hospital bed and smiling, telling her the doctor said her recovery is amazing- she’s still so sad, and he says “death only looks for you once you seek its opposite”

gym mulder in episodes 11 and 12... the basketball... yeah ❤️

trying to be kind in episode 13 and it immediately backfiring in that cringe-inducing fashion that only he is capable of achieving: “stay there, mrs. suarez. we're going to make sure your baby makes it safely into the world” “well, thank you, but i’m not in labor. and my name is not suarez, it’s villareal. he tells people i’m his wife. like he’s so macho”

the wind-up chattering teeth on the desk in episode 14 <3

how wildly excited he was to play house in episode 15- “hey, oooh wait a minute, you didn’t let me carry you over the threshold”

and then taunting all of the neighbors with his stupid basketball hoop, LMAOOO

in episode 16, he knows off the top of his head how many years ago the wanshang dhole went extinct

rare communication w for mulder in episode 17 when they get into their usual spat about his theory not being scientifically possible and he decides to instead focus them on what they both agree on: the need to find june

opening up about how important baseball is to him in episode 19: “it’s like the numbers talk to me, they comfort me, they tell me that even though lots of things can change, some things do remain the same. it’s-" "boring?” (pouty mulder face as scully teases him)

AND his recitation to arthur dales of how many home runs mickey mantle hit with each hand

chatting with arthur dales and telling on himself when it comes to his feelings: “do you believe that love can make a man shapeshift?” “i guess… women change men all the time” “i’m not talking about women” (they then share hot dogs, pizza, and chinese takeout)

AND paying that little boy to help him surprise scully with the baseball date- sharing something that is both personal to him and plain fun with her

scully asks him what more he hopes to find in episode 22, and he answers “my sister” 💔 because that is still at the heart of every single action he does after all of this time… no matter which way the plot veers, who the bad guys of the week are, or where life leads him, it's always about samantha and that guilt he harbors over her

#the last one hurts. OUCH! sorry. it was a very good moment though.#also btw guys i am not a mulder hater lmao. look at the blog title.#you can't fault me for being weirded tf out by his sudden change in character this season since i have never seen the show before!#he goes from extreme lover to extreme hater and i can't pin down exactly why yet. because it hasn't been revealed. that's how plots work.#as much as i love this show and blog i do have a job and a life and other hobbies and will not engage in discourse.#regardless of his sometimes odd behavior this season he had a lot of really great moments too and i can't wait to see what happens next <3 #i want more time of him queening out with arthur dales. get all the arthurs in one room. and add him.#he is deep down a lover boy and a loser (affectionate) and a man of Ancient Guilt which are traits i LOVE in a character #also i would pay real money to chat extinct animals with him. our interests align.#(cut to that fic i'll never finish where i make him geek out over the heath hen) yeah... <3 #fox mulder #the x files #txf

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 2 months ago

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loved your last headcanon on Mr. Qi

Now, to make it more angst. What if Mr. Qi threatens the Farmer and they do accept and divorce their spouse with no explanation, how would their spouse react to the Farmer trying to explain and return to them, because it was just another test of Mr. Qi

also... can you include sve bachelors? 👉👈 (and Isaac... if you want)

Good to see you again in the askbox, dear moot :3

Glad you liked that last ask, heh ❤️ Sure, I'll include the SVE bachelors and Isaac, thank you so much for the ask! Have a wonderfully day!

_________________________________________

Stardew Valley:

“That's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard.” Alex already didn't want to chat with his ex, and after hearing about their sudden divorce, the mood soured completely, and the athlete slammed the door in Farmer's face. But near the end of the evening, their words wouldn't leave his head, replayed over and over again. They were both happy, not a hint of anything bad. Maybe they- No, that story about mysterious man is kind of bullcrap. Farmer was probably just scared of married life, regretted the divorce and now they're trying to get it all back. Yeah, they are, and Alex won't listen to them again.

“I... I'm just speechless.” Despite the loss of words, Elliott was outraged, crying and inundating his ex spouse with tons of questions. His heart is broken, Farmer broke his heart! But... did they do to protect him? Then why didn't they tell him!- Oh, wait, they couldn't. They really couldn't? Yoba, the writer is all emotional and doesn't know if everything Farmer said is a true or an attempt to mess with his head and bring everything back to the way it was before the divorce. “Do you have anything to back up what you say?” Elliott needs proof. He also needs to calm down.

“Do you realize how wild that sounds?” Even Sebastian, who believes magic exists and felt the foul blow of the monster crab in the Mines, can't imagine that there's some blue mystical man who's watching everyone in the Valley and especially Sebastian's ex-spouse, and that mystical man's threats are what caused Sebby and Farmer's divorce. On the other hand... *Sigh* He wants to believe Farmer, but he has a hard time taking just their word for it. Without any proofs, it won't look very convincing, to say at least.

".....Don't know what kind of shit you're smoking, but don't drag me into this, and stay the fuck away from me and my family." Shane's divorce almost put him in the depressive hole he was in a while ago, and now Farmer is prying into his life to shake it up all again when things have just calmed down. Arw they fucking with him? He sobbed all day in his old room at the Marnie's Ranch, staring at divorce papers... He believed someone actually loved him... and now fucking what?! “You failed the test, then, now fuck off,” Shane said dryly to Farmer and walked away.

“...What?” So, what should Sam believe now? Because on the one hand, it's all lie and Farmer just wants Sam back, on the other hand, he believes in magic thanks to those obelisks on the farm where the guitarist lived with his ex. Has Farmer crossed this “person's” path? Then why, for what reason? Sam loved them, but... he wants no part of some strange business. Sammy is even afraid of Farmer now: what if they do something crazy again at the behest of this "Qi" (if he even exists and not just the ex's lies)?

“Yoba, what have you gotten yourself into...” Honestly, after Farmer's words about “a mighty demigod who demands to fulfill his tests” Harvey imagined not some evil wizard, but a mafia head whom his ex had crossed the path. Farmer still claiming it's a wizard? “Okay, and where is this ‘wizard’ located, do you know?” At the casino- okay, that really sounds like the head of the mafia. Basically, Qi might as well be the mob head... Harvey's tired and heartbroken, Farmer... No, no more excuses. Please leave the doctor alone...

Stardew Valley Expanded (+Isaac):

“Answers, now.” Magnus didn't have time for Farmer and already wanted to send his ex away from his tower with a snap of his fingers, but as soon as Farmer mentioned “Qi”... This person (or anomaly) is of great concern to the Ministry of Magic with his strange behaviors. There was even talk that "Qi" was somehow involved in corruption in the Crimson Badlands... The old wizard would listen to Farmer and report to the Ministry because "Mr. Qi" could threaten people's lives. “...I know what you want to say Farmer, but not now.” Whether they will be able to be together again, no one knows.

“If what you say is true, we need to report to Magnus and Camilla immediately.” Lance's patience was enviable - anyone in his shoes would have just chased Farmer away. Plus that Mr. Qi that Lance's ex told him about... The adventurer himself is not a member of the Ministry, but he got some information about Qi. Quite disturbing information, and they both now need to report to the senior mages and wait for their response. "On one hand I can understand you if it was the only way to protect me and yourself. But you also have to realize that you can't just come back, and the pain and separation after the divorce will suddenly go away. We're already expected at the meeting, let's go."

“Is that... true?” Maybe someone else in Victor's place would have laughed at such pathetic attempts by Farmer to justify themself, but the spaghetti lover thought hard about their words. He may not be an adventurer like his ex, but he knows about the existence of monsters and magic in general. And that someone very powerful mage is playing with Farmer's life and his is a very possible scenario, considering that Farmer was surrounded by equally strange and magical occurrences. His heart is still broken over the sudden divorce, but he's willing to hear them out.

".....Get out." What a great start of Isaac's day, just fantastic: not only has his ex-spouse been stalking him for a week, but they've given the scarred adventurer the most absurd excuse for their cowardice. No honest explanation from them, apparently, and to be honest - he doesn't want to listen to them. Out of the Badlands' post, he has no time to them. But when he complains to Alesia about their excuse, she will change her face dramatically, saying that “Qi” exists and is wanted by the Order and the Ministry. Isaac will be a bit taken aback. And starts looking for Farmer.

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley expanded #sve #sdv shane #sdv alex #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv harvey #sdv elliott #sve lance #sve magnus #sdv wizard #sve victor #sve isaac #sdv headcanons #sve headcanons #thanks for the ask!

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dreamwritesimagines · 8 months ago

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Long HC request of hot Uncle Jamie being added to the list of people allowed to pick up Theo from the mansion and then meeting Logan.

"Have a good weekend, Mr Logan!"

"You too, bub. I'll see you- who the hell are you?"

*he knows exactly who it is*

"Oh hey, James. Here to pick up the little guy, Y/N got held up at work."

"This is my uncle I was telling you about, Mr Logan!"

"The doctor, yeah. Do you have a permit to pick Theo up?"

"Well-"

"That's a no. Theo, let's go."

"I'm registered on his file, his mother wrote down I'm allowed to come get him when he was enrolled."

*cue to Theo nodding emphatically, adorably unaware of the tension brewing. Logan's jaw has been twitching since he saw the man pull up.*

"Mommy says uncle Jamie is the hero that saved me when I was in her belly and we've been family since!"

"A hero?"

"I was an intern. It was a complicated C-section-"

"And you do years long follow up with all your patients or was this one a special case?"

"It was. Though I'm sure I don't have to tell you that, don't I, Mr Logan?"

DSDGJJKL DARLIIING! 😍❤️

Oh I absolutely love this, this is such a great idea! ❤️ And the dialogue is amazing, you're so talented! 😍

First of all, James being a doctor that was there in Theo's birth and then later on making friends with Sunshine?! Aaaaaaa this is canon, this is so canon! 😍

"Do you have a permit to pick Theo up?"

"Well-"

"That's a no." LOLLLL Logan would have zero patience for him 😂

Theo nodding emphatically I can see this scene, this is adorable! 😂

"Mommy says uncle Jamie is the hero that saved me when I was in her belly and we've been family since!" And he would be so excited to tell Logan that and he would be smiling so wide!🥰

"Though I'm sure I don't have to tell you that, don't I, Mr Logan?" SHOTS FIRED 😈😏

Lolll they'd both be glaring at each other while Theo is all smiles, because he looks up to them both so muuuch❤️

Btw when Logan and Sunshine get together, Logan will insist on getting his name on Theo's file as well "to pick him up when necessary" and Sunshine will be like "Logan, you literally live there??" 😂

But Logan and Jamie will HATE each other! 😏 Logan would be glaring at him and Theo will be like,

"Uncle Jamie!"

"Yes buddy?"

"Mr. Logan has knives coming out of his hands whenever he wants!"

"Oh does he now?"

"Yes!"

"No need to be nervous doc."

"I'm not nervous. I'm in the business of fixing people rather than hurting them so maybe you're just not used to the idea, that's all."

"And he's-he's super strong too!"

"Theo bub, do you want to go with Uncle Jamie or do you want to stay a little? I heard your friends are going to play in the yard."

"Wait really!? Uncle Jamie-"

"Are you serious right now?"

"What? He loves to play with his friends, or has he not told you that?"

"I've been around since he was a baby, Mr. Logan. I think I know him better than you do. You've been around for what, couple of months?"

"Uncle Jamie, please?"

"You know what bub? Go ahead and play with your friends, uncle Jamie will wait. Won't you?"

"...Sure. I have all the time in the world buddy. And Theo, when you're done, you and me and your mom will get ice cream, how about that?"

"Yay!"

"I'd invite you too, Mr. Logan, but it's kind of a family thing and as Theo said, we are family."

#sunshine hcs

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thedepthsoffandomminds · 1 year ago

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Episode one - the Yankee Dodge

Loved the the middle daughter oneshot.

can i request Jack Dawkins x Belle's older sister!Reader story (I have not seen any sister!reader) same thing as the oneshot instead of Belle being sick, the reader is. Reader is strong-willed, smart and stubborn as Belle, and Belle being a concerned sister to Reader, almost mothering her. Of course, Jack being an overprotective lover. I just want the story to stay the same way as the The Artful Dodger series is, just following the story only replacing Belle with Reader

A/n: I will do this as a long series following each episode per part. ❤️❤️

You follow your youngest sister into Belle's bedroom, Fanny jumped seeing her in the plague mask.

"Don't do that!" She gasped. You laugh from behind her.

"What?" Belle took the mask off and dropped it on her desk.

"Whatever that is." Fanny huffed, you passed behind her and slid onto the chaise lounge.

"You stormed in on me." Belle reminded her sister.

"What's that ungovernable stench?" Fanny scrunched up her nose. You started to lose interest in their conversation, a tightening of your chest took your attention.

"Your perfume?" Belle joked, "No, it's ether. The new Lancet reports the most extraordinary thing. You can give the patient ether, and they don't feel a thing. I mean, you can perform surgery without pain. It means we could finally help-" she had turned to face you finally seeing you clutch at your chest. Both of your younger sisters came darting to your side.

"y/n, what is it? Do you need a doctor?" Fanny scrambled.

"No, no I'm fine. I just need to lie down." You rest back against the couch and close your eyes. Belle reaches behind you to loosen your blouse and corset. You breathed slowly as Fanny once more tried to get Belle to meet a suitor. She had long given up with you, at six and twenty you were already considered a spinster.

The afternoon was spent much the same. Your mother insisted you take a small walk around the gardens. That would clear your lungs and head in her opinion. It only formed to make your legs ache if anything.

Soon after Fanny had you all standing outside the door waiting for the suitor she had found for Belle. The pompous dandy slid out of the carriage and started resiting awful poetry. You had to stifle my laugh.

You walked down the staircase that afternoon daydreaming to yourself.

"Belle?" You whisper. She shushes you and pulls you against the wall to listen. Your mother was talking about a surgeon, a navel man. Belle had that hopeful look in her eyes that always made you feel sad. She wanted so much to help you, had dedicated her life to finding a cure for you. Even when the numerous doctors told you it was nothing and you'd be healthy soon you both knew different. The strange pumping of your heart kept Belle's nose in the medical texts. A plan was forming in her mind, you could see it.

Your mother and father ushered you both into the parlour were Mr Smales was sat reading. Fanny followed you all in. Lady Jane all but shoved Belle to the chair beside Smales and he began reciting more poetry to her. He asked if she'd like to play the harp, little did he know that it was only you who played the harp amongst your sisters. Belle had once played the violin but it had been years since she had picked it up.

My sister huffed and marched across the room. Your mother stopping her.

"talk to him about hospitals." She hissed.

This finally peaked her interest.

"Come, we're going to see the hospital. I've never been, and I've always wanted to. We should take Y/n as a chaperone." She sent you a grin. You followed her out to the carriage with Smales tottering along behind you both.

"Belle, what are you playing at?" You whisper to her.

"I just want to look at it." She grinned once more

As we rode along Smales kept trying to talk with her.

"do you like to dance?" He asked.

"No." Belle's voice was flat.

"Croquet?"

"Snore."

"Fox hunting?"

"Very much, no!"

"Oh. Why?"

"It's mindless, barbaric, and cruel." You interject. Smales turns up his lips at you.

"What about you? Chemistry? Geology?" Belle asks.

"Oh, yes. With the maps." Smales said animatedly.

"No, the rocks, but close."

You hear the Carriage rider urging the horse.

" Anatomy?" Belle continued.

"Poetry?" She suggested in a tired tone.

"Yes!"

"Yes! Anyone other than yourself and Wordsworth?" She groaned.

"Such as?"

The Carriage Rider shouts for someone to Move aside, but you all feel the tell tail bumping of someone going under the carriage.

Both you and Belle are quick to jump out. A young boy is on the ground his leg broken open with the bone protruding from his skin. The poor lad was screaming. As Belle checked the wound you kneel behind him and place his head in your lap, attempting to comfort him.

"Help! We need a doctor!" Belle called out.

"Okay. Um, you're okay. You'll be all right. You're doing great." You hold the boy's hand.

"Coming through, coming through! Here." A tall, thin man came rushing up with a leather bag.

"Thank God. I've put a tourniquet on." Belle explained.

" It's not tight enough. I need something to tighten it with. Um... " he looked around, Charlie, the boy whimpered. The doctor put a hand on his face, his fingers brushing yours.

" It's all right. I'm gonna sort you right out."

"Can you fix it?" You ask.

"I'll need to amputate."

" What about Bircher's procedure to save it?" Belle pulled his attention

"Miss, please."

"M'lady." She corrected him.

"To do that, I would need to drill into his leg bones, and insert pegs to knit them back together again. He would die of shock and pain." The doctor explained hurriedly

"Not if you take the pain with ether." Belle said. You shot your eyes between them.

"The Yankee Dodge? That is unproven." He bit back at her. As they argue you quickly run to your driver and speak with him before going back to the doctor.

"lift him into the carriage, he cannot stay in the street." You command him. The doctor looks up at you and nods. He scoops Charlie into his arms and you help get the child into the carriage. Your sister climbs in after you both and the carriage pulled away. The pair continued to argue with each other as Charlie squirmed on your lap.

"for goodness sake, will both stop your squabbling. This child will not be losing his leg today. You are the surgeon we have heard about and as such I assume you will be able to do the operation." You say commandingly.

"the prof does not allow it." The doctor finally admitted.

"well, we aren't going to the hospital." You smile as the carriage pulls to a stop.

"Why? He doesn't have much time." He looked out the door, "What are we doing here, you ridiculous woman?"

" This is the Governor's residence." You say.

"Oh, God. You're the Governor's daughters aren't you."

"yes. Belle go in and make sure the way is cleared." You tell your sister. She nods and runs off to the house.

"This is completely arrogant of you both." The doctor growled. "I can't perform an operation here. I need surgical equipment."

You turn round to him, causing the doctor to retreat back toward the carriage.

"there is no need to threat, Doctor. My sister has all the supplies you could need." You say with a finger in the middle of his chest.

"oh, hello looks like we're good to go." Fagin said pointing behind you.

The doctor and Fagin grabbed the boy by his legs and arms, carrying him into the house. Belle had her arms full of her equipment. You can hear your father and his guests beginning to descend the staircase.

"There's no time. We're gonna have to do it here. Set him down." The Doctor said.

" What?" You and Belle said together.

"It's not ideal... Fagin, clear that table. It's all right, Charlie. Okay, all right. It's all right."

In a moment of panic you stepped away from the doctor and addressed your father's guests.

"Ladies and gentlemen! The entertainment. For our main event, I have a very special treat for you." You look over your shoulder at the trio, "Dr. Dawkins will perform an operation, never been done before. Where an inferior cowardly surgeon might just simply remove the leg, Dr. Dawkins will make a thousand years of history by trialling surgery with no pain. The Yankee Dodge!"

A murmur of adoration waved through the crowd. The Doctor's eyes locked with yours for a moment. You nodded to him and he began his work. Fagin, the older man with him, tiptoed away from you all, up the stairs. You step closer to the table stroking Charlie's hair as he whimpers again. Dawkins lent closer to you and Belle.

"If I get hanged for this I'll haunt your every waking moment. I'll be that face you see in your nightmares and trust me, you will only have nightmares."

You can't help but smile.

"Do shut up and ether the patient." Belle quips. You stay at Charlie's head letting your sister address the crowd.

"Watch closely, everyone. As Dr. Dawkins anaesthetises the boy, takes his pain..."

"You're fine." Dawkins reassured the boy.

" ...and then operates with no sensation." Belle had a flare for the dramatics you thought to yourself.

Holding the either mask in his hand Dawkins spoke once more to Charlie, "Now, just breathe. There, we go. That's it. Good lad. Right."

The operation began

Belle was able to find an ivory stick to use as the pin for the bones. You had to admit he was impressive in his work. The crowd oohed and ahhed at his every movement. When he was done and the wound stitched Dawkins reached up to Charlie's face, " Now, ladies and gentlemen, can we rouse him from living death? Charlie? Come on, Charlie. Charlie. Come on, Charlie. Come on. Charlie. Charlie. Come on, Charlie boy."

You were all beginning to panic, your eyes flicking to your father's disapproving face.

"Don't cut me, Doc! I need me leg!" Charlie called out. You released the breath you were holding and smiled at the Doctor.

There is a moment where the room is in awe, every man and woman there thought to congratulate the Doctor until one woman spoke up. Her ruby necklace had been stolen from around her neck. You sighed, knowing instantly what had become of it. Captain Gaines began searching people. Your chest tightened and you put a hand on the table to steady yourself. The Doctor took hold of your arm.

"You all right?" He asked his professional concern showing.

"Yeah. Yes, it's just the ether fumes. Take me upstairs?" You say leaning into him.

" I've got you." He says beginning to lead you away.

"All right. I'm sure you won't mind if I search you?" Gaines says to Dawkins.

Belle steps between them, "Captain Gaines, move aside. My sister is not well. Move aside."

You pant and rest more of your weight on Dawkins. Gains reluctantly stepped aside allowing Dawkins to escort you upstairs to your room. Belle hot on your heels.

"Are you well? Who's your doctor?" Dawkins asked once in your room.

"Prof." Belle answered.

"Has he ever examined you?" He helped you to sit in a chair.

"He's too scared of my father to get it wrong." You say, your hand is still in his. Dawkins glances back at Belle.

"Take off your dress. I need to listen to your back. Take off your dress."

Belle comes over to help you remove your clothing until you were in only your bloomers and chemise. She grabbed a stethoscope from your table and handed it to Dawkins. The doctor sat behind you on the lounge sofa, placing the cold metal to your back.

"Now, just breathe steady. Just breathe with me. In," his voice is low and soft, his breath fanning over the back of your neck, "And out. Good. Again. In. Out. Okay. Gonna come around the front. Once again. In. Good, and out. In. Out."

Belle frowned, she knew what he was hearing.

"You're a common thief. Shall I call Captain Gaines now or later?" You say glancing back at him.

Dawkins drops the stethoscopes "No. No, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." He runs to stop Belle from leaving the room, "Darius cheated me at cards. He's gonna take my hand if I don't pay him a ludicrous debt."

"Then pay him with your own money!" Belle argues.

"With what money? I get paid in pennies and thimbles." He is almost begging.

Footsteps can be heard down the corridor.

"You've got two options. I yell "guards" and you get hanged." You begin.

"Not ideal."

"Or you make my sister the first female surgeon and we keep your secret. That or the noose." The door knocks. "Well?"

" I'm thinking."

Part two soon.

@fandomfan-102

#fanfiction #jack dawkins x y/n #jack dawkins x reader #jack dawkins #the artful dodger x reader #the artful dodger #oliver twist #norbert fagin #fagin #lady belle

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calaisreno · 9 months ago

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Déjà Vu, Chapter 6

💕 Meeting, at last. Also: Mycroft faces a terrible truth.

Excerpt:

The nurse pulls the curtain closed behind her, rolling her eyes as she passes John. “Another superhero.”

He’s smiling when he pulls the curtain back. “Good news, Mr Holmes.”

Looking up from the scan, he freezes. His eyes remain on the patient for a long moment: dark, curly hair; pale eyes, pronounced cheekbones. Handsome, in an eccentric way.

Reclining on the bed, long legs stretched before him, one elevated and bearing a cold pack, he’s looking at John with an expression of bewilderment.

John is equally bewildered. He’s seen this man before—not in life, but in dreams. That’s happened many times, even before he returned to London.

And he’s hallucinated him once before, in this very place. That time, it was a stab wound.

This doesn’t feel like an hallucination.

By habit, he slips into professional mode, begins to examine the ankle. “I’m Doctor Watson. You’ve stated that you fell from a second-storey window. Can you tell me how that happened, Mr Holmes?”

“Is it relevant?” The pale eyes are studying him warily.

John suppresses a smile. “Might be. And I’m simply curious.”

“I didn’t fall. I dropped, strategically.” The voice is as he has heard it in his mind a thousand times. Resonant, warm, amused.

Thank you for reading / reblogging! ❤️

#bbc sherlock #johnlock #my fics #déjà vu #off-axis series #parallel reality

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dead-dolphins · 2 months ago

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Hi Ro 👋❤️

As you have so many versions of Eren now and that are all dear to you, can you rank from lowest which represents the sweetest and caring to the most possessive even unhinged Eren's :-D ? Can be so interesting from your point of view as a writer <3 (you can put the uncoming fictions if you want since you know their personality already!)🫶🏻

Hey Deeel!!! 🤩 This is such an amazing ask OMG!! Okay, so sorry for the late response, I’ve been thinking about it for a while hehe.

Alright, so here’s the thing, from the sweetest and most protective Eren to the most possessive and even unhinged version of him! 😏🔥

Doctor Eren (Little Forest) – This man takes first place, no question. He’s the ultimate sweetheart, gentle, kind, and incredibly protective of Mikasa. What makes him even cuter is that they’re both shy in their own ways, which creates such a soft and wholesome dynamic. He’s the kind of Eren who makes sure Mikasa is always warm, well-fed, and happy. No drama, just pure, unwavering care. Definitely deserving of first place!

Slytherin Eren – Okay, hear me out, his cockiness is just a front. Deep down, he’s actually super sweet and protective, but he covers it up with that smug attitude. He’s the type to tease Mikasa relentlessly but would go feral if anyone else tried to mess with her. Classic “acts tough but is secretly a softie” situation.

Lord Eren – Oh, Lord Eren. At this point, he’s become my gold standard for analysing all other versions of Eren, lol. He’s noble, intense, and has that powerful presence, but he still has a deeply protective and caring side. He carries himself with authority, but when it comes to Mikasa, he’s all heart.

OG Metalhead Eren – Sweet? Yes. Protective? Also yes. But let’s be honest, he’s kind of a lovable idiot, hahaha. He has that chaotic energy of a guy who will 100% take care of you but also make some questionable life choices along the way. He’s got the golden retriever boyfriend vibes, mixed with just enough cluelessness to keep things entertaining.

Ares Eren – The god of war himself! He’s completely unhinged with everyone except for Mikasa, who, in this AU, is the goddess of love. This man is a menace in battle, ruthless and merciless, but the moment he’s with Mikasa, he softens. The contrast between his brutality and his absolute devotion to her is chef’s kiss.

Actor Eren – Now, this one’s interesting. His blunt personality doesn’t exactly scream "sweet," but there’s something about him. He has a possessive streak that’s... intriguing, to say the least. I won’t dive too deep into that just yet (wink), but let’s just say he’s not one to let go easily.

Bartender Eren AU – This is where we officially cross into possessive territory. He’s not traditionally sweet, but he’s definitely protective. He gives off that brooding, overprotective energy, like the guy who silently watches over you from the bar, making sure no one messes with you. What makes it even spicier is that he’s like this over a married woman, which just adds a whole extra layer of tension, haha.

Dark Metalhead Eren (Exes to Lovers AU) – Now, this one is complex. There’s a huge contrast between who he was and who he is now. Once upon a time, he was sweet and loving, but after having his heart shattered, he became cold, detached, and emotionally unavailable. He’s still possessive, but now in a way that’s more bitter and guarded. He acts like he doesn’t care, but deep down, there’s still a soft part of him that never truly stopped loving Mikasa.

Illicit Affairs AU Eren – Oh boy. We’re fully in the messy, possessive, toxic zone now. He’s cheating his wife, yes (Hitch), but that doesn’t stop him from being insanely possessive over Mikasa. It’s the kind of possessiveness that makes no sense, like, sir, you’re literally being unfaithful to your wife with this girl, why are you so jealous ?? And let’s not even get into his unhinged preferences in bed… omg.

Mr. Senator Eren – A politician and definitely not the sweet type. He has a soft side, but it’s buried under layers of arrogance and bluntness. He’s not mean exactly, but he’s definitely got that "grumpy and tired of everyone’s nonsense" energy. What makes him fun is that he’s possessive in such a conflicted way, he acts like he wants Mikasa far away, but the second she’s not around, he loses his mind. He’s the definition of “I don’t want you, but I need you.”

King Eren – Obsessed doesn’t even begin to cover it. This man’s entire existence revolves around Mikasa. He lives for her, breathes for her, and cannot function without her. He’s overly attached, borderline obsessive, and so possessive it’s almost suffocating. He’s the type to burn down entire kingdoms for her and wouldn’t even blink while doing it. Definitely the most codependent of the bunch.

Mafia Boss Eren – The most unhinged, terrifying, and unpredictable Eren of them all. This man does not play around. He’s possessive, ruthless, and completely terrifying. He doesn’t just love Mikasa, he owns her. He’s the kind of guy who will burn the world down and watch it crumble, all with a smirk on his face. Honestly? He scares me, haha.

#eremika #ask box #del ❤️#ro's ranking

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imagining-in-the-margins · 2 years ago

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CM Damsel/Dude in Distress Fics

Hey everyone! I want to start by saying thank you so much to everyone who participated - it was so much fun to write alongside you all, and I can’t wait to share everyone’s hard work. You are so appreciated, and the diversity only makes these events better.

Without further ado, here are all of the entries + recs for the Damsel/Dude in Distress Challenge!

S.R. SFW Fics (Fem!Reader)

Kryptonite by @foxy-eva: Spencer asks you to rescue him from a very scary spider in the bathroom

Safekeeping by @/foxy-eva: Spencer is there to protect you when a situation gets out of hand.

Funny Thing Fate by me: Reader is tipsy and lost in D.C. when she spots a man she thinks might be able to help.

Rib Cage by me: Spencer realizes Reader is the one, but it might be too late. He has to find her.

I Choose You by @ofwilliamandwalter: What happens when the lowly stable boy, Spencer, and the royalist of princesses, Reader, fall in love?

So, a Wedding? by @ssahopelessly: Reader had the invitation for nearly three months, but she didn't take the time to find a proper date.

The Found Part of Lost by @ssahopelessly: When on the way back to the station, you and Spencer find a friend on the side of the road.

Explosion by @c-m-stuff: Reader and Spencer are married. When Reader risks her life, Spencer is relieved she's still breathing.

Rose Coloured Lens by @alleyholls: Reader cuts her finger while cooking and Spencer bandages her up.

But it's Better if You Do by @fortheloveofwonderland: The absolute last thing Spencer needs is to fall for you, the magnetic exotic dancer who Morgan and Luke pay to give him a birthday dance.

More fics below!

Assorted SFW Fics

Never Let Me Go by @/foxy-eva: [Tara/Reader] Who knew how easy it would be for Reader to find comfort in Tara’s arms.

The Friendship We Have is a Rare Find by @/cherubcurls (Ao3): [Spencer & Penelope] Penelope and Spencer agree to meet up to have a study session before finals, but they end up not studying at all.

Peas and Love by @/masterwords (Ao3): [Hotchgan] Hotch hurts his back and Hank takes very good care of him.

I'll Do It by @tobias-hankel (Ao3): [Hotchreid] Hotch saves Spencer from an interrogation gone wrong.

He'll Say He's Just Not the Same by @spencer-reids-adventures (Ao3): [Hotch & Spencer] Spencer suffers a depressive episode, and Hotch comes to check on him.

Who's Afraid of the Bogeyman? by PandorasDreaming (Ao3): [Spencer & BAU] When Spencer is kidnapped by Mr. Scratch, they must race against time to save him before his mind breaks.

Saved from the Rain by @leahseclipse: [Spencer & 10th Doctor] Spencer has an encounter with a strange man who saves him from the rain.

I Get By by @/GarlicBreadforJuliusCaesar (Ao3): [Gen Fic] The one where Spencer has a fight with a vending machine, and the BAU chip in to help.

Co-Creator Bonus List!

SFW Gender Neutral Reader

Kitten Love: Spencer’s vet begrudgingly agrees to an emergency house call.

Diamonds: Spencer comforts Reader when they have a bad pain day.

Rotten: Reader struggles to feel at home in their body following a trauma.

Melancholia: Reader has been acting weird lately, so Spencer makes a much needed wellness check.

Storm: Reader has a panic attack.

Bruises: The team is concerned when Reader shows up with bruises on their neck.

SFW Female Reader

Astraphobia: SSA Reader and Spencer share their most embarrassing fears.

Different Dialects: Autistic!Reader. Spencer is trying to tell Reader he likes her, but it feels like they speak entirely different languages.

Porcelain: Autistic!Reader has a meltdown in the cafe. Luckily, there is a Dr. Reid nearby.

Baggage Claim: Autistic!Reader is having a hard time at the airport.

Stranger Danger: Reader is a single mother having a very bad day.

From the Tree: The kidnapping case becomes personal when Spencer and Reader get a call from their nanny.

NSFW Female Reader

It’s Too Cliché ❤️: Reader and Spencer are the worst at friends with benefits. After an exchange of gifts & nasty words, the two reunite on a very eventful NYE.

Cupid & Psyche ❤️: Reader and Spencer get kidnapped by a rather romantic matchmaking unsub who demands they perform for him.

Big Bad Wolf (Part 1, Part 2): Spencer is overwhelmed by the apparent innocence of an elementary school teacher he meets on a case.

Thank you for writing and reading with me.

Let me know if you'd like me to add your story to this list!

#spencer reid #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fic #criminal minds smut #criminal minds writing challenge #sorry this is like two months late oops #ive been having a rough time #hope yall understand #i should have the family challenge list done soon enough

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goblinselfshippr · 1 year ago

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part 2/2 of my mom rating my f/os

Simeon-

6.5/10

I don't think we would tell her that Simeon is an angel because idk how she'd react to that. She likes that he's kind, well-read, and definitely capable of taking care of himself. So why only a 6.5? Sometimes, he says really fundamentalist-coded stuff, and it stresses her out. She's like "bro I left that a longggg time ago. There is no way in hell we are doing that AGAIN." And he doesn't quite understand. She's high key worried he's gonna try and lure me into a cult. Likes Luke, tho. Luke has to have a crash course of shit he absolutely CANNOT SAY in front of my mom for the same reason.

Albert-

9/10

These two get along really well because they can (and will) talk for fucking HOURS about medical anomalies and marine biology and SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UPPPP (<- squeamish and terrified of fish). -1 point because she thinks he can be a little stuck up sometimes.

Le vi-

4/10

Dear god. These two are mortal fucking enemies and it is SO HARD to deal with. Two short people duking it out over how tea should be prepared. I really think they're just too similar and different enough that it only leads to more resentment. Can and will argue about anything. Really, his only redeeming quality in her mind is that he's clean and able to fend for himself. Plus he does find some really good tea. Definitely an "as long as your happy 🙃" situation rip. Although they do have similar pasts, so they might eventually be friends? Idk guys he's a Capricorn and my mom is an Aries, if that helps lolol

J/afar-

7/10

Surprisingly, they get along fine. He's got enough sense to know there are some things you absolutely can't say in front of your mother-in-law, and chooses his words very carefully. Still appears a little stuck up sometimes though. She doesn't really like the age gap, but I think at this point she expects it lmao. They 100% send each other weird alchemy/magic stuff to try.

Scarab-

7/10

Smug asshole, but she thinks he's just socially awkward, so it's fine??? He only appears in his human suit in front of her, and she's pretty sure he has a good job. He never gives her any definite details though, so she also probably thinks he's a mob boss or something lmfao. They're pretty civil but don't really interact if I am not there.

#❤️[Kannst du die Engel sehn?]#❤️[Mr. Doctor Man]#❤️[Under the Willow]#❤️[Out of Body]#❤️[Innards]

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rescue-ram · 10 months ago

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Is Hawkeye a pacifist?

Time for some slightly disorganized musings on the subject

Firstly- Hawkeye never actually calls himself a pacifist. To the best of my knowledge, he's called this twice, once obliquely by Frank ("It's a little late in the war for pacifism, gentlemen.") and once by Charles ("You'd love that, wouldn't you, Mr. Pacifist?"), both times intended as mockery.

Hilariously, Charles comment is preceded by Hawkeye threatening to fight him ("Why don't we settle this outside, man to victim?")

The main things that point to "pacifism" in Hawkeye are his refusal to carry or use a gun, and his hatred of the war

However, his opposition to guns seems more related to personal convictions as a doctor- he's here to help people, not the kill them.

Speaking broadly for a moment, among real life pacifists an important bifurcation is between those who were willing to collaborate with the state/military non-violently (ie as a doctor or medic) and those who opposed military service of any kind and endured imprisonment or execution instead.

One thing I think MASH portrays really well is that non-violent collaboration with the military is not uncomplicatedly morally good; Hawkeye's despairing sarcasm about "being in weapons repair" and his struggle with healing people just to send them back to the front lines to kill or die is pretty well explored. But at the same time, to refuse to cooperate is to let people suffer or die, and Hawkeye can't bring himself to quit- his own morals compel him to keep aiding a system he's appalled by because he's confronted by the harm it's causing.

Additionally, we know Hawkeye is opposed to the suffering and death he sees around him, he doesn't see a point to the conflict, and is opposed to war as a general concept. But most people are opposed to killing on general principle- the question is is there such a thing as a "just war" or is it ever justified to kill someone else. That deeper question is not really explored in the show.

Further, even if we grant that Hawkeye is an unsophisticated pacifist, there's a big difference between being anti-war and being totally ahimsa and opposed to all violence

To the contrary, we see Hawkeye physically attack others, defend himself, be verbally mean, do harm to others (especially in defense of what he sees as a just cause), and sometimes fuck around just for the hell of it.

He doesn't try to persuade soldiers to stop fighting or to defect. He often berates higher ups for the stupidity or pointlessness of the war, but that's not exactly an objection to war itself. He also sometimes praises them, tries to butter them up, plays along, etc.

In conclusion, I don't think Hawkeye is a committed pacifist, I think he's a very committed doctor. In as much as he is a pacifist, it's on a pretty basic level that he (correctly) judges war to be an engine of death and suffering and the Korean War in specific to be causing (much) more harm than good. I don't think he's fundamentally opposed to violence in an ideological level, because he canonically threatens violence or acts violently towards others with varying levels of justification or jocularity behind his actions

(And also in conclusion, for this reason if he and Trapper were for some reason pitted against each other in a physical fight, Hawkeye would punch him in the face ❤️)

#i also have thoughts on klinger as a conscientious objector but those are even more scattered and varied than these fkskjdkdk #idk why that poll is niggling at me so much but it isssssss lmao #let 👏 hawkeye 👏 hit 👏 people 👏 lol #mash

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dreadbythedecade · 2 years ago

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Dread by the Decade: 1920s Horror

👻 You can support me on Ko-fi ❤️

Der Golem, wie er in die Welt kam (1920 | Germany): a rabbi creates a golem to protect his people. ★★★★

Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari (1920 | Germany): a carnival somnambulist foretells death. ★★★★½

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920 | USA): a doctor transforms into his dark side. ★★★½

Körkarlen (1921 | Sweden): Death forces a man to revisit his sins. ★★★½

Häxan (1922 | Sweden): a documentary about witchcraft. ★★★½

The Headless Horseman (1922 | USA): a schoolteacher encounters the Headless Horseman. ★½

Nosferatu – Eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922 | Germany): a solicitor helps a mysterious count move to Germany. ★★★★★

Orlacs Hände (1924 | Austria): a pianist has his hands replaced with a murderer's. ★★★★½

The Monster (1925 | USA): a surgeon abducts people for his experiments. ★

The Phantom of the Opera (1925 | USA): a mysterious figure stalks an opera singer. ★★★★½

Faust – Eine deutsche Volkssage (1926 | Germany): Mephisto tries to corrupt a good man. ★★★★

Der Student von Prag (1926 | Germany): a student makes a dark deal for success. ★★★

The Cat and the Canary (1927 | USA): the family of a millionaire gathers to read his will. ★★★★

The Lodger: A Story of the London Fog (1927 | UK): a family fears their lodger is a serial killer. ★★★½

La chute de la maison Usher (1928 | France): a man is obsessed with painting his sick wife. ★★★★

The Man Who Laughs (1928 | USA): a man with a permanent smile learns he is of noble birth. ★★★★

The Skeleton Dance (1929 | USA): skeletons rise from the grave to dance. ★★★★

Un Chien Andalou (1929 | France): strange images form something like a dream. ★★★★

#Dread by the Decade #master list #1920s #1920s horror #reviews #horror

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bearsbeetsbeskar · 2 years ago

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Somebody to Heal, Somebody to Hold

(Joel Miller x dispensary! reader)

Chapter 2: Silver Haze

Chapter 1 here || Chapter 3 here || Main Masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x dispensary! reader, AU (no outbreak) Word count: 5.6K Rating: 18+ minors DNI, will be changed to explicit in future chapters (slow burn, eventual smut), swearing, explicit discussions of drug use, age gap (reader is early 20s and Joel is late 40s) Summary: Joel can't rely on pills anymore for his back pain, so his doctor prescribes him medicinal marijuana. But he's not happy about it. A/N: PEEPAW IS FINALLY GETTING HIGH Y'ALL. 🍃 🔥 💨

This chapter was fun to write and I'm really pleased with how it turned out. Thank to you anyone who has expressed interest in this silly little story and wants to see more. I doubt my writing capabilities pretty much every single day on this site, and often wonder if it's worth it to keep writing, but I still wanted to indulge in this story. Mostly, cause I'm selfish and would throw myself in front of a moving vehicle if it meant getting to smoke weed with Pedro, and more specifically our grumpy texan gentleman, Mr. Joel Miller. An enormous thank you to @iamasaddie for beta'ing, and your constant words of encouragement when I start to doubt myself in the slightest, you are my heartbeat ❤️

Hope y'all enjoy, please comment, reblog and let me know what you think! 😇

It’s been less than a day. 18 hours to be exact, since he came home from the dispensary with his illicit, but also legal drugs. The bag filled with the package of joints sits in the middle of his kitchen table. He eyed it as he leaned up against the counter drinking his coffee, and while he ate his breakfast at the table in contemplative silence that morning.

This shouldn’t be such a big deal. He’s a grown man for crying out loud. He can buy drugs if he wants to. Not that he necessarily wanted to. Purchasing medicinal marijuana was the furthest thing from Joel’s mind when he ran through possible options of dealing with his pain problems. Really, he is just surprised with himself that he actually went through with the doctor’s suggestion.

He doesn’t know if he should feel relieved, or guilty, or a little curious. Maybe all of the above.

He wished he could have someone to talk to who has personally tried it before. Aside from Doctor Barclay, he didn’t really have anyone at all. His buddies would probably either: A) tell him he just needed to sleep off the pain, drink something heavy to knock himself out or work through the pain- which, if he’s being honest with himself, is precisely what he would have done if not for that sharp twinge in his back that makes him want to curl up in the fetal position. Or B) they would try to get him to take something stronger and undoubtedly more illicit. He doesn’t know how, hell he doesn’t wanna know how, but some of his buddies manage to get their hands on cocaine or acid. Sometimes they don’t even bother till they get off the jobsite after a long day, often snorting up or popping pills in their truck and then driving to a shitty dive bar they plan on occupying for the rest of the night.

Nope. He didn’t need that. He felt like enough of a delinquent already. He stops drumming his fingers on the table and sighs, tilting his head to the side contemplatively.

“Ah fuck it”

He grabs the bag and reaches into it, pulling out the carton with the pre-rolls, leaving the receipt in the bag. The label reads ‘Back Forty’s Moonberry’ in an almost psychedelic font, with deep purple letters. Turning the little box over in his hand, he squints at the description on the back.

“Back Forty’s Moonberry Rolls are powerful hybrid cross pre-rolls that offer big hits of flavour and an even burn. A nice, mellow and sweet way to start and/or finish your day, relaxation is guaranteed with these. Packed with a re-sealable film to ensure freshness after multiple sessions or on-the-go. Take a trip and relax with the Back Forty.”

“Take a trip and relax?” Joel huffed. That kind of trip sounded anything but relaxing. Anxiety starts to claw its way up his throat.

What if something happened? What if he reacted badly to the weed or ended up taking more than he should? There were no specific instructions. What if it just didn’t fucking work in general?

The doctor's words rang loudly in his head. He knew this was an option, an ‘alternate method’ as Dr. Barclay so delicately put it. But if this didn’t make the pain go away and he couldn’t take more prescription medication, what then?

He leaned back in seat and groaned, staring up at the ceiling. He could try one. Just one. But if it tasted like shit or he didn’t like it, then what? He didn’t want to be stuck with the whole pack and he doubted there was much of a return policy on opened products at the dispensary, seeing as the merchandise was already consumed.

Before his thoughts could snowball any further he snatched the carton of joints and shoved it back in the bag. “Fuck this,” he grumbled, grabbing his coat off the back of his chair as he made his way to the front door, the tiny plastic bag clutched in his other hand.

—------------------------------------------------------

It didn’t take long for Joel to reach the dispensary. When he pulled into the parking lot, he turned off the ignition and sat in his truck for a minute. One minute turned to five minutes as he bit his lip, his left hand still firmly holding onto the plastic bag. He felt like he was forgetting something. Reaching into his coat pocket absentmindedly he felt his wallet and his phone. Digging into the other pocket he paused as he felt his fingers run over a small tactile shape. He pulled it out and held it upright in his palm. The free lighter you gave him.

He rolled it over in his hand, looking at the store name printed on shiny cheap plastic, his thumb running over the rounded edges. He flicked the lighter once, and with a crisp snap, a small flame erupted, burning brightly.

His mind drifts to you. You were kind and patient with him, despite probably thinking he was a creep or some kind of fucking narc with how awkward he was. He feels heat rise to his cheeks as he recalls your soft eyes and warm, inviting demeanour. Maybe it's possible you were working again today. If that was the case he could just go in, explain to you that there was a mixup and return the pre-rolls, then buy a bottle of Tylenol on the way home, and wash it down a handful with a double whiskey, sealing his fate.

Fuck the weed. Fuck the back pain. Fuck the cholesterol. End of story.

His palm curls around the lighter as he steels himself and gets out of the car, still holding onto the plastic bag. He strides through the front door and is surprised to see the check in desk is empty, with only the '18+ ONLY PERMITTED ENTRY' sign on the desk.

At this point, he would be content to just drop the bag off at the register and head back out with his pride still in tow. Forget getting a refund.

“Hey! Back so soon?”

He looks up as he walks through the second set of doors into the shop and slows in his tracks as he sees you.

“Joel, right?”

You’re fixing a display case off to the side. He can’t help but let his gaze wander down your body. When he came in yesterday you were standing behind the register so all he could really see was the nondescript black t-shirt you wore with the dispensary logo over the chest.

Today you’re wearing the same shirt with plain black leggings that hug the curve of your hips and your ass. Nothing special, but still Joel feels his mouth go dry and the blood starts to rush south in his body.

He pauses and squints slightly. Wait, you remembered his name?

“Uh yeah. How’d you-”

“Photographic memory, thanks to being the doorman.” You reply simply.

You head back behind the register and lean your forearms on the counter, flashing him a dazzling smile. “So, what can I help you with today? Looking for more pre-rolls? Some edibles?”

At this point you could sell him anything and he would buy it, with the smile you’re giving him. Hell, you could give him 15 more of those cheap tiny lighters and he would happily take them. Maybe he doesn’t really need to return the pre-rolls, he could always just leave them.

You spot the small bag clutched in his hand before he can hide it and raise your eyebrows at him.

“Actually, I uh,” he pauses, “I wanted to return these, if that’s okay.” He places the bag on the counter and pulls his hand back quickly, as if it burned him, his eyes flitting to yours before looking away again.

“Oh sure, no problem.” You pull out the unopened pack of joints and the receipt. “Were you not a fan of these, or did you maybe want to try something else?”

“Uhm, just wasn’t a fan of them, didn’t think I’d like them..” He mumbles and shoves his hands in his coat pocket.

You’re in the middle of reversing the transaction at the register when your finger hovers over the keyboard, mid-type. “Didn’t like them? It looks like you didn’t try them though,” you quirk a brow at him and tilt your head to the side. “How do you know you don’t like them if you didn’t try them?”

“Well I, uh-” he frowns as he tries to think of a response.

Christ. He’s not getting out of this without swallowing his pride and admitting the truth. His anxiety hits him full force, and you must see him start to backpedal cause you speak up again.

“Hey it’s okay, you can always try something else. How do you feel about edibles? Or drinks?”

No. He just wants to forget that this entire situation happened.

“No, no it’s okay,” he vehemently shakes his head and starts to back away from the counter, “I’ll just look into some other options.” Even as he straightens his back and starts to retreat, he feels that nagging pinch shoot up his spine and he clenches his jaw.

“Joel, have you never smoked before? It’s okay if you haven’t” You’re looking up at him intently with those bright eyes, concern etched into your features.

Well, there’s no way out now.

He sighs in defeat and looks down at the ground. “No, I haven’t. Guess that much is obvious,” he remarks as he puts his hands on his hips, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“That’s completely normal, trust me” you reassure him as you lean closer over the counter, planting your palms on either side of you.

He snorts. “Yeah right.”

“It’s true! Before you came in the other day I cashed out a kid who looked like he was barely legal. He came in looking like a deer in headlights. We get customers every day who have never consumed marijuana a day in their life, not just potheads.”

He eyes you warily, still biting the inside of his cheek.

“It’s not a big deal Joel really. Is… Is there anything you’re worried about happening?”

He’ll have to tell you now. Tell you that he’s really just a big middle-aged wimp who’s too afraid to get stoned and deal with his pain problems.

“I.. I’ve just never tried it before, that’s all,” he shrugs plainly, “I don’t know what to expect. I mean, I know you said it’ll help with the pain and all, help me be more relaxed but I’m just worried I’ll get addicted or overdose, or somethin’ will happen…”

“Jesus,” he runs his hand over his face, “it’s fucking stupid.”

“No, no it’s not.” You cut him off before he continues. “Those are perfectly reasonable things to think about, if you’ve never smoked before. Many people worry the same thing.”

“First of all, it is possible to get addicted,” you explain cautiously, “But you would have to be consuming it nearly every day, all day before it reaches a point where you can’t function without it. And that usually happens with strains that are high in THC, the psychoactive stuff that gets you high.”

“But,” you emphasize upon seeing him tense up, “these pre-rolls you purchased are pretty low in THC, so it’s very unlikely you would get addicted, even if you smoked 'em everyday. You don’t have to worry about that.” At that he relaxes and shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

“Secondly, it is not possible to overdose on weed. Not even the strongest weed. I mean, I’m no fucking scientist and they haven’t conducted any studies on it or anything, but there have been no reported overdose deaths due to marijuana consumption,” You wink at him.

He huffs out an exhale, giving you a hint of a smile. “That makes it a bit better.”

“If you’re still really worried about it, I could show you if you want. To smoke that is,” you add on quickly. “I know it’s nerve wracking to try it on your own for the first time, and it can be better if you’re with someone, y’know, just in case something happens or you don’t like it.”

“Really?" He looks at you expectantly with rounded eyes. "You’d do that?”

“Yeah, I get off my shift here at 5 so I could do it after?” You bite your lip and look up at him bashfully. He tracks the movement, watching your tongue peek out to soothe your bottom lip.

“Sure, that’d be great. Where should we meet?”

“We could always go to a park or something nearby. But even though weed is legalized, I feel weird smoking it in public places around families and young kids and stuff. And you’d have to drive home afterwards, which is not a good idea.” You scrunch your brows and bite your lip again as you try to think of other spots.

Joel tries to ignore how cute you look with your brows pulled together like that. He also tries to ignore the way his pulse kicks up as he watches you bite your lip, imagining other scenarios that could cause you to bite your lips like that again.

“Uhm, you could come to my place?” Immediately he sees the hesitation wash across your face and realizes how that sounds as soon as the request leaves his mouth. You aren’t stupid. He’s a complete stranger to you.

“Sorry. I mean,” he backtracks. “It’s just me and my daughter at home, although she’s away at college right now. My neighbors aren’t particularly nosy but they’re usually not home either. We can go on the back patio, it’s covered and I got tables and chairs and stuff. ”

And stuff. Jesus.

It’s like he’s 18 years old again, with marbles in his mouth, unable to form a coherent sentence.

Something about mentioning Sarah seems to put your mind at ease as he sees your shoulders lower as you shift your weight from one hip to the other. You chuckle and give him a smirk.

“That sounds good. I can meet you there, does 5:30 work?”

“Yeah, yeah that works. Thanks.” He ducks his head and gives you a small smile.

“Alright well I’ll see you then.”

He turns to leave before you call him again, holding the small plastic bag up. “You’ll still need these, otherwise we won’t get very far,” you wink at him.

“Right. Yeah that would help,” he chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “I’ll see you then.” He grabs the bag from you and gives you one last smile before he heads out the store.

—------------------------------------------------------------

Surprisingly, Joel didn’t live that far, probably a 12 minute drive from the dispensary. That didn’t mean that you took your time though, going the speed limit and dragging out the drive as it dawned on you how weird this scenario was.

He was a customer. And he was way older than you. Something that should have bothered you more than it actually did, which is to say not that much at all. It just made you hopelessly more attracted to him.

As much as he seemed sweet from the two interactions you had, plus the unmistakable way you caught his gaze raking over your body, the rational part of your brain still questioned what you were doing. He didn’t live alone, not technically. You were surprised to learn he had a daughter, but he also didn’t mention having a wife or a girlfriend. Not that it was any of your business. Nevertheless, you tucked that piece of information into the back of your mind as you pulled up to his place.

He had a nice, modest house, at least from what you could tell when he answered the front door with a soft smile. He led you around to the back to the surprisingly large backyard, but what impressed you the most was the wooden deck which featured a nice patio set, complete with overflowing planters, a cute coffee table, and outdoor string lights that were hung up overhead.

You noticed some plastic butterfly fairy lights hanging off of a few deck posts and railings, their colors faded after years of weathering. Running your fingers along the molded ornaments you looked at him and smiled, “nice touch.”

He smirked, shaking his head. “My daughter, Sarah, insisted on putting them up as soon as we finished the deck a couple years ago.”

“You built this?” You look around incredulously. “It’s really nice. Like straight out of a Home Depot catalog.”

At that he puffs out his chest slightly and shoves his hands in his pocket. “Eh, I don't know about that. When I’m not working a job and got spare time, I try to do stuff around the house. This was a quick project one summer,” he shrugs noncommittally.

“A quick project? You built a whole new part of your house Joel,” you raise your eyebrows at him as you sit down on the couch. Still, he brushes off the compliments and asks you if you want anything to drink. Moments later, you’re both sitting on the couch, two glasses of water and the pre rolls on the coffee table, along with the lighter and a small ashtray you brought. Another small cheap item from the dispensary with the logo on it, that no one would likely notice had gone missing.

He shuffles beside you momentarily. You can feel his nerves creeping back as he fidgets and leans forward, resting his arms on his knees.

God he’s so .. big. You can feel the couch cushion dip underneath his weight beside you. His shoulders dwarf the space between you. It doesn’t help that with him being this close you can faintly smell him. The lingering scent of sandalwood, and a sharpness to whatever body wash he uses swirls together in a heady concoction that has your brain short circuiting.

You already knew he was attractive from the moment he walked into the dispensary. But now, getting a chance to drink him in, you’re incredibly flustered. His deep brown eyes are easy enough to get lost in, as are his high cheekbones, aquiline nose, and strong jaw. A jaw peppered with gray stubble and a few sparse patches, that he’s currently tensing as he looks down in front of him. Your gaze follows his to the opened package of joints that are sitting on the coffee table in front of you.

“So what do we, uhm, where do we start?” He looks from the stuff on the table to you.

“Well, there’s really only one step with these pre rolls, you just light 'em up and inhale, and let the relaxation kick in.”

“Seems easy enough,” he gives you a small smirk.

Reaching forward, you pluck one of the slim joints off the table and you grab the lighter as well. The free lighter you gave him.

“Have you ever smoked a cigarette before?” You hold the joint between your index and middle finger, turning to look at him.

He scrunches his face slightly and his brows furrow. “Yeah, long time ago though, not since college. Back when this stuff was still illegal anyway.”

You can’t really imagine young Joel in college. He must have been handsome. That much you were willing to bet money on.

“So basically the Woodstock, hippie, peace and love era?” you ask him with a smirk.

“Now, I may be old but I ain’t that fuckin senile” he squints his eyes at you, but there’s a small smile pulling at the side of his mouth. You bite your lip and smile at him.

“Well, not much has changed since then. You light it, and start to inhale as the flame catches and the weed starts burning. Don’t inhale too much but try to hold that smoke in your chest for a couple seconds, don’t exhale right away. The longer you hold in your breath, the quicker your body absorbs the cannabinoids in the weed.”

He looks at you intently as you explain it to him, but you can still see a bit of confusion on his face, so you elaborate.

“Cannabinoids meaning the THC and CBD, the stuff that cause you to feel relaxed and high”

He nods and you place the joint between your lips, raising your hand to light it, as you inhale deeply, the faint crackling sound of the paper and herb burning. The smoke slowly fills your lungs as they expand, and you let your eyes go heavy as you savor the earthy, fruity taste of the herb as it burns.

You pull the joint away and let your mouth fall slightly open, holding some smoke in your chest as the rest of it falls out of your mouth in an opaque cloud, curling out into random tendrils before it disperses in the air. Exhaling, you turn to Joel and reach your hand out, offer the joint.

He blinks at you a few times. There’s something in his gaze, something heated that you catch, before they refocus and he looks down at the joint in between your fingers. You can see him hesitate again as he stares at the joint.

You duck your head slightly to meet his eyesight.

“Hey, you can take as much or as little as you’d like Joel. Start off with a small pull and see how it feels.” You say, not pressing him any further than that, as thin wisps of smoke curl upwards between you two from the joint.

He looks at you again, his eyes are big and round, like the cutest fucking puppy dog ever. The crease between his eyebrows disappears, as does the frown that seemed permanently etched on his face. It’s almost like he’s asking you for permission. You tilt your chin upwards slightly in encouragement and smile.

“Alright.” He takes the joint from you, mimicking how you held it, bringing it to his lips and looking at you as he inhales. His eyes squint and he frowns slightly as he pulls from it, his broad chest puffing out a bit, the embers at the lit end of the joint glowing. He heeds your instructions, holding the smoke in his chest for a few seconds before exhaling, and you nod in approval.

Fuck.

You expected that maybe that he would wrinkle his face in disgust right away, or start coughing obscenely the moment the smoke entered his lungs. The usual things that beginner smokers do.

But what you’re definitely not expecting is how fucking attractive Joel looks while smoking. Or rather, how attractive he makes smoking look. Either way you’re mesmerized by the way he casually holds the joint between his thick index and middle fingers, the way the smoke pours out from between his lips. Even the way he turns his head away from you so that he doesn’t exhale in your direction. He smokes like he’s done it multiple times before.

You snap yourself out of your daze when he raises his eyebrows at you, his hand stretched out to you offering the joint. Narrowing your gaze at him, you take it from his hand, your fingers, brushing against his.

“You smoke like a veteran Joel. Are you sure this is your first time?” Eyeing him suspiciously, you bring the joint to your lips and pull from it again, this time holding the smoke in for a bit longer, allowing it to fill your lungs.

You can feel the moment that the high starts to creep up on you. The moment that the THC starts to permeate your bloodstream. Everything slows down, flooding your system with a hazy warmth and lightness. Your head is a bit light and you feel your body begin to buzz, as if every part of you is vibrating with mellow energy while you exhale.

Joel makes the sign of the cross over his chest and leans back, settling into the couch.

“I promise darlin, first time.” He replies in that warm fucking Southern drawl.

Darlin.

God. The word slips out of his mouth like molasses, caressing your skin, as you feel your body heat up ever so slightly. You wet your lips, the dryness of cotton mouth hitting you with full force as you watch Joel spread his legs, the further he reclines back and relaxes into his seat.

The downright thirst you’re experiencing for this man however is something else entirely. It must be the Indica. Just the weed, nothing else.

You sit back into the couch as well and pass the joint back to him. “Well, in that case I’m honored to have taken your weed virginity Joel Miller.” Pressing your hand to your heart, you give him a cheeky grin and bow your head.

At that remark his eyes widen and he actually does start coughing harshly mid-inhale, sputtering and hunching over as he shoves the joint back into your hands. You anticipated he would have coughed up a lung anyways with it being his first time but you can’t help the laugh that you let out at his misery.

“Oh shit! Sorry man, are you okay?” The concern in your voice is genuine but you’re still giggling as he gathers himself, slamming his fist against his chest a few times while his coughs die down. He grabs his glass of water off the table and takes a few sips, still breathing a bit heavy as his lungs try to suck in more air.

When he opens his mouth to speak, you’re caught off guard by how husky and deep his voice sounds. Deeper and more raspy than it usually is.

“Jesus, I’ve been called many things before but being a weed virgin, that’s a first.” He chuckles softly and looks at you. “Besides, I bet you say that to everyone who smokes with you for their first time.”

You shake your head with a small smile as you take another toke from the joint. “Actuallyyyy,” you drag out the ‘y’ as you glance up at him from under your lashes, “you’re the first one.” As if admitting that to him is some kind of secret that you’re embarrassed to share.

His eyebrows scrunch together again in disbelief. “No fucking way, c’mon”

“I’m serious." You giggle through your words and draw a cross over your heart, mimicking him. "None of my other friends smoke, the only other stoners I know are my co-workers.”

“Plus, I know it can be a big deal, trying it for the first time, and ideally people want to smoke with someone they trust, whom they know they’re gonna have a good experience with. So I’m grateful you let me share that with you.”

You try to ignore the way your pulse quickens as Joel’s gaze softens while looking at you. You clear your throat and look down at the lighter in your hand, picking at the plastic label.

“I should be the one thanking you. For your patience, and showing me the ropes with this stuff.” He gestures to all the paraphernalia on the table in front of you both and sighs. “I wasn’t keen on trying marijuana. Regardless of whether it was ‘medicinal’ or not.” He huffs as he makes the little air quotes with his hands.

“When my doctor suggested it for my back pain, I was about ready to get up and walk out of the office, but he also made it pretty clear there weren’t many other options. Had to swallow my pride and give it a go. So thank you,” he leans into you a bit with his shoulder, giving you a playful shove, “For making this a good first experience for me.”

He gives you a sheepish smile. Your body begins to heat up at his close proximity.

“Anytime, Joel. Really.” You angle your upper body towards him and look up at him. Your gaze flicks from his deep amber eyes, down to his lips, and back up to his eyes again. You almost miss how his eyes track yours, dipping down to your lips for a millisecond before he blinks.

Jesus. You need to get a grip.

“Uhm, how do you feel right now?” You switch the subject in an attempt to shut your cavewoman brain off.

He pauses for a minute and he looks off to the side like he’s running an internal diagnostic scan. That crease in his brow deepens slightly before his expression softens and he looks back at you with wide eyes. “I actually feel pretty good. A little out of it but pretty relaxed.”

“And the back pain?” You tilt your head at him.

He shifts a bit in his seat and leans forward, straightening and stretching his spine, twisting from side to side, gauging the movement. A baffled expression crosses his face. Actually, flabbergasted might be a better word to describe it.

“Holy shit,” he mutters, “barely any pain at all,” he laughs in disbelief as he looks at you with bright eyes.

“That’s amazing Joel! I’m glad it could help” You beam up at him, still mindlessly puffing away at the joint. You slowly let the cloud of smoke fall out of your mouth, as it spills out you start to inhale the opaque cloud through your nose again.

Joel’s smile falls faintly, and his expression morphs into fascination as he watches the smoke disappearing up into your nose. His eyes are rounded. Like a child who just watched a magician pull a coin out of their ear.

“That’s fancy,” he murmurs.

“Huh?” You exhale the rest of the smoke in a large plume towards the ceiling, and look back at him. “Oh. What? This?” You mimic the action again, pulling from the joint and allowing the smoke from your mouth to disperse into the air, as you inhale it again through your nose.

“It’s a French inhale, nothing fancy. More of a force of habit,” you chuckle dryly. “I don’t even realize I’m doing it half the time, but it was the first trick I learned.”

You look at him sideways but he’s still watching you. The fascination is gone, replaced by a darker expression. Hunger.

Was that weird? Does he think you’re pretentious for trying to look cool in front of him?

“Tricks eh?” He repeats after you and tilts his head slightly. All of a sudden you feel like prey, under his predatory gaze. As if he’s assessing you, sizing you up, about to devour you. You feel your throat start to go dry, and this time you doubt you can blame it on having cotton mouth.

“That’s pretty cool. Can you do any others?” He asks.

Aside from the French inhale, there’s really only two others that you can do. The ghost and doing the classic O’s or rings.

“Uhm, a few others yeah but I’m not that great at them.” You blink a few times and look down at your hands.

“Now that I’ll call bullshit on,” he quips. He relaxes into the couch, draping one arm over the back while spreading his legs wide, his other hand in his lap.

His gaze pierces yours as he murmurs. “C’mon. Show me.”

You’d hardly call it peer pressure but the way his voice gets even deeper and he takes up more space with his position, convinces you.

Resistance is futile at this point. He could ask you to do anything in that fucking tone of voice and you would do it.

You exhale shakily as if you’re about to put on the biggest fucking performance of your lifetime.

For whatever reason, you want him to be impressed by you. Fascinated by you. So you steel yourself and hold his gaze as you take another pull from the joint as it starts to burn out.

Holding the smoke in your mouth, you slowly tilt your head back and pout your lips slightly, making an O shape with your mouth, pushing the smoke out in brief pauses. The first few that come out are a bit small and wonky, but as you keep going, the rings of smoke become thicker, forming perfect O’s that float upwards, dissipating into the air.

You exhale the rest of the smoke out in a rush, stubbing the joint in the ashtray. “I’m a bit rusty. It took a while to teach myself how to do them.”

You add that part onto the end, to stroke your own ego mostly, but also because you selfishly want to elicit more praise from him. Which he willingly gives you.

“Don’t seem that rusty to me at all darlin’. That’s pretty damn cool.” He rubs his jaw with his thumb and index finger, brushing his thumb over his bottom lip.

“You’ll have to teach me some tricks, some other time.” His hungry expression falters as he gives you a genuine smile, not before it’s interrupted by the quietest rumbling sound. His eyes widen slightly before he clears his throat and starts fidgeting a bit more, flexing and flexing the hand in his lap.

You hum and grin at him deviously.

“Hmmm, it sounds like the munchies have kicked in at this point.” You return the playful shove but he barely moves an inch, his broad shoulder feeling like a solid wall. “You hungry?”

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