#✰ ic;; [rip it apart my basariters!]

[divineety-archived]

@n0nesse​​​ has joined the Basariters!

NeetGod posted:

⎯ 「 Even if for one second you want me to accept that there’s some nanotechnology at work to make it... well, work!!! It’s still stupid to have it shaped like a blindfold! It’s way too extra! Just make it a pair of glasses and go!!! Who the hell was in charge of its design, cyborg Lady Gaga!? 」

[divineety-archived]

@inkyhearted​​ has joined the Basariters!  ( starter call )

NeetGod posted:

⎯ Yuta figures that it was high time to head back to his apartment. Pass the night in a less depressing fashion. Sure, he doesn’t have a lot to do at home, either, but the night is just... way too dark. Depressingly dark. Enough depression. The shock of all of this memory stuff will subside by itself... he better get himself distracted.

⎯ And he sure does, as he turns the corner and lightly bumps into someone, making him step back in surprise to regain his balance. Good thing he was going at a slow pace! Ah, it’s a... squid-octopus girl? He legitimately can’t tell. Man, this city is just filled with weirdos. But the sight of one such weirdo is somehow reassuring, for once. 「 O-oh, um... sorry about that. I was lost in thought. 」 He lightly bows to the girl to emphasize his apology. He didn’t even feel like dramatizing. Wow, he really was in the dumps, huh?

⎯ 「 ... It’s been a night, huh? 」 He looks towards the areas where all the chaos happened as he spoke, somewhat without meaning to. He wasn’t really one to strike conversations like that. 「 I guess I’m lucky I wasn’t really affected... but I don’t know if I feel lucky at all right now. 」

[divineety-archived]

@strwbrrysweetheart​ has joined the Basariters! (starter call)

NeetGod posted:

           ⎯  The water is just slowly moving, uncaring of the presence of Yuta looming above it, phone in hand, light up, camera in action. Rude! It could at least... wave. Badum tsss.

          ⎯   In all seriousness, this is leading nowhere. Is it really possible that there’s no rumors or urban legends or other spooky ghost stories in this place!? Not even about the canal? Surely there must be something about it! Mysterious drownings? A disappearance in the water? Anything! 「 This blows... I was so excited about the prospect of preparing dozens of new articles for my Basariters, but this is so boring!!! How am I gonna make easy money when I get back!? 」 Despair courses through him! 

          ⎯   But hope is not completely lost! This is Yuta Gamon we’re talking about, after all, supreme finder of the occult! Or at least, something like that. He’s more of a pesky article thief, but that’s besides the point! He’s a master at finding ways to get money, and he’s not gonna stop being one now! Here, here, the ideas are coming!「 Oh...! But no one said it had to be a real ghost... I just have to make it up, do some shaky grainy photos, and then I can call it a day! Maybe I’ll just shove the pictures around and then that’ll start a rumor or two! NeetGod genius at its finest! 」 

         ⎯   Yuta wiggles his body around, trying to position both himself and his phone in a good way to get a good shot. It’s not easy being both the cameraman and also the guy in charge of the special effect! It takes a minute of setting up, but finally, he’s ready: with a grandiose movement of his free hand, Yuta slams it down in the water with gusto, without forgetting some nice speech to spice it up, of course: 「 Spirits of the water, I summon thee! Hear my call and bring forth curses and whatever other stuff you have in mind! Just give me something please! Gate card, open! 」 And there goes his finger, tapping wildly the camera button to get as many pics as he can. One of them is bound to be weirdly occult-looking!

         ⎯   「 By the power given to me as NEET god, I say: come out ghosts, and reveal yourselves to me! Or at least give me one good spooky face please!!! 」Yuta theatrically twirls around with the water for a bit, and then stops. Right in front of this other guy, who probably saw him do that whole schtick. Hm! This sucks! Yuta’s quick to put his phone in his pocket and then act like nothing happened. But you gotta break the ice dude! You’re so good at that, come on!

        ⎯   「 ... You know any good pools around here? I’m cravin’ some water to splash around in, ya feel? 」 I take it back, you absolutely suck at this.

[divineety-archived]

🎊

🎊 Time for gifts!

⎯ You get a buildable Gundam model, freshly purchased and ready to be built! Join Yuta and let’s go into the fantastic world of model building or whatever it’s called! This is totally not Yuta trying to get oblivious victims into his hobbies so he feels like less of a loser!

[divineety-archived]

@shintaroxisaragi​​ HAS JOINED THE BASARITERS! ( starter call )

Admittedly, there were reasons why he wasn’t really around the Bureau before ( mainly he absolutely wasn’t feeling like being a helpful member of society and all that for a while ), but Yuta figures that if there’s a thing he can do is look around the debris, check things out, maybe help out a little? So many volunteers, some more than willing to accept help, he can definitely find some things to distract himself from his dark thoughts! And also, after that weird announcement... he felt like it would be a good start to look at the source of the disaster. Mostly because he still didn’t feel confident enough to go through those portals just yet...

At least, that’s what he was expecting, but he definitely didn’t think that one of those distractions would be someone tripping on one too many pebbles and falling flat onto the ground. Ouch, that must’ve hurt like Hell! Now, while we already established that Yuta isn’t a charitable person ( not much at least ), he’s not indifferent to the plights of clumsy people, being one himself. Also no one else is helping this guy with the red jacket, so unfortunately, it falls on Yuta to check if he’s okay.

「 Uh, hey, dude? Are you okay? That was a pretty bad fall... 」 It takes a few seconds for Yuta to walk near the fallen guy and crouch down next to him. He poked him once on his shoulder with a finger. Okay, let’s make one thing clear, if this guy’s dead, Yuta’s gonna book it. No way he’s getting blamed for murder like this! 「 He-hey, come on, get up, you make it seems like you’re dead or something... 」

[divineety-archived]

⎯ It is just a lonely bench, in a lonely park, nearby a lonely street. Lonely grass, lonely trees, a lonely evening. There’s sounds in the distance. The chaos of last night still echoes. He doesn’t really care. He only stares at his radio with a stare that shouldn’t really be on a guy his age.

⎯ And he thinks how fucked up it is. Yuta thought his dad was home, there. Doing his usual routine. Answering fanmail. Cheering up people. Yuta thought one day he’d get out of this city and its dumb project, and come back to see his dad smiling at him through the window. Yuta would give him a thumbs up. His dad would give him a thumbs up. But that’s never gonna happen, is it?

⎯ It’s been 7 years already, after all.

⎯ There’s big droplets falling down, some slipping inside the collar of his coat, some dropping on top of the smooth, grey surface of the Skysensor. It’s really fucked up, after all. That a place just makes you forget things that are important like that. It’s really fucked up to trick someone into thinking of happy times they could have, have them ignorant that those time will never come back. It’s really, really fucked up. Yuta doesn’t know what to think anymore, really.

⎯ So he doesn’t, and just stares at his radio in silence. Tears don’t make a lot of sound after all. And the bustling in the distance is nothing that concerns him. He’s actually kind of okay with the city burning like this. It deserves it. Because he remembers now. He remembers, even though he’d like not to, but at the same time, this is right. He has to remember, or else, this life is just fake. He remembers now.

⎯ It’s been 7 years since his dad died.

[divineety-archived]

🎊

🎊 Time for gifts!

⎯ You get a controller as an invitation to play some Smash Ultimate! Time to chillax, forget about life’s troubles, and maybe cheer up as you see how bad Yuta is at this game! Please cheer up. Please. You’re so emo. Yuta is getting depression just by standing near you.

[divineety-archived]

🎊

🎊 Time for gifts!

⎯ You get this sick rusty knife that’s rumored to be cursed that Yuta bought for the cheapest price on Ebay! Please take it! Weird stuff started happening ever since he bought it, this is not worth a good Basara article!

[divineety-archived]

@sirens-wrath​ has joined the Basariters! (starter call)

NeetGod posted:

                ⎯ No way he’s using a water slide! No! Not even a submarine! That’s just claustrophobic! He’s going with the walkway like the loser he is, because he’d rather be a loser who’s breathing, dang it! Even if the danger levels in this place are just as high: after all, glass is brittle and fragile and easily breakable and also sharp and pointy and YUTA GAMON STOP THINKING ABOUT EVERY POSSIBLE NEGATIVE ASPECT OF THE SITUATION AND CALM DOWN.

               ⎯ 「 Oh God in Heaven, hear the prayer of your fellow God, of NEET patronage, and please just don’t let me die by drowning in this Youforsaken place...! 」 He smooshes his forehead against the glass and mutters a silent prayer befitting of himself. He doesn’t even believe in God, but a little bit of last-moment faith isn’t gonna hurt, right? Speaking of last-moment, looking at the sea behind the glass just shows how beautiful the sea is. Look at all those colorful fishes! This is a great place for an urban legend to take place. Like of some sick sea monster. 

               ⎯ But wait, right, there wouldn’t actually be any. No Leviathan, nor a Kraken, not even Aquaman (unless there’s that kind of specific weirdos out there). Curses, this places isn’t even gonna be the idea-mine that Yuta thought it was gonna be! But wait. He stares at the bottle that was given to him. Maybe if he just uses it to breathe underwater and also manages to get himself a costume... 「 No! 」He suddenly spins in place and hugs himself tightly. Despair courses through him! 「 No, it wouldn’t work! Even with my higher-than-average looks, even with my unkept beauty, being a fake siren myself wouldn’t work! A siren needs to be cooler! Real! Pretty! I’m more handsome than pretty! Damn genetics, if only I was just a little bit more bishounen! 」

               ⎯ With all that spinning in place, he didn’t even notice that he stopped right before a woman. A beautiful one, might he add. Oh, she’d be perfect for a siren role! He can’t say that out loud though. That’d be what a creep would say, and he’s already established he is not one, in fact! He still made a fool of himself though. Quick, say something to break the ice a little! No, don’t try to dilute the situation by drinking the water, you idiot, that thing’s important! Also lean on the glass with one hand to be cool. Yeah, just like that! 

               ⎯ 「 So... fish, am I right? 」If there is a God, may they smite him down where he’s standing. One strike. Painless. Put it on his tab.

[divineety-archived]

🍿

VALENTINE’S DAY PROMPTS!Ever wanted to date a Yuta Gamon? - OPEN

🍿    :   watch a rom-com with my muse.

NeetGod replied:

⎯ 「 No! Vanessa! Why can’t you see the truth!?」 This is it. The quintessential “watching romcoms with Yuta Gamon” experience. Lots of screaming. Lots of crying. Not nearly as intimately comfortable as that should be most of the time. More lots of crying. Gross, sobbing kinda crying. What’s Yuta even crying about? This romcom is shitty as Hell. How does he even get so emotional over something so bad? We just don’t know.「 Why can’t she see that love is right in front of her!? Catherine is there! She’s waiting for her! And yet she’s just gonna go after that slimy excuse of a man of Ryan!? This is just cruel! I can’t stand it! Vanessa doesn’t deserve that and neither does Catherine! Bwaaaaaaahhhh!!! 」

⎯ As if he wasn’t crying enough already, Yuta literally implodes into more tears, wailings and sobbing. Banshees hate him! The way he also starts clinging to Dabi’s arm is just ridicolous and embarrassing. It is just another question on Yuta Gamon’s psyche how he doesn’t understand how cringey this whole schtick is.「 Dabi! Dabi, tell me I won’t end up like that! I can’t become Vanessa! First off I’m okay being a boy, and also, I don’t want to become stupid like her! I don’t want to be blind! I want to see real love and go after it right! I don’t want to go after a Ryan! Don’t be Ryan, Dabiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! 」

[divineety-archived]

@flimsygrace​ has joined the Basariters! (starter call)

NeetGod posted:

            ⎯  Hearing that beyond these waters there would be a good place to search, Yuta reached this place, but now, he was at a complete loss! Is he really to swim there, just like that? Isn’t there some other way to reach the Evensomething thingie!? So that’s why they were given these bottles... Damn! He really didn’t wanna do this!

           ⎯  Yuta scanned the area around him: sea, sea, and even more sea. 7.8/10, too much water. He’s really not that good of a swimmer for this kind of thing! There has to be another way... Oh, look at that, someone else was here too. Ugh, they didn’t look too approachable... why is he getting all the weird people? But alas, an adventurer has to be brave! Or at least, brave enough to ask for help. Or something like that. Yuta isn’t an adventurer, he’s a NEET!

          ⎯   「 Excuse me! Sir! Mister! Yeah, you there! 」 Yuta makes a run for it, or for that other guy, rather. His run is short of histerical as he desperately tries to catch the attention of the stranger, before suddenly dropping onto his knees, sliding on the wet sand until he’s standing right before said stranger, and then, SMACK! He joins his hand in a praying position, clearly begging.

         ⎯   「 Oh so kind person! Please, share with me whatever info you are! Namely, please tell me there’s another way to reach the crypt aside from swimming. I do not want to swim. Even a false hope would work, anything just so I don’t have to swim! 」

[divineety-archived]

‘ i should have burned the place down when i had the chance. ’

starters from The Office!

⎯ 「 S-Shima, I really feel that’s a bit too extreme, even for you, and even considering that this place is haunted as Hell! 」 The sound of footsteps stomping upstairs, even though they were supposed to be alone in here, echoes.

⎯ 「 … after some personal time taken to reflect, I absolutely second your statement! I’ll get the gasoline! 」

[divineety-archived]

@misterorihara​​ has joined the Basariters!

NeetGod posted:

⎯ 「 Okay, admittedly, your handworks with a knife are pretty sick, but... 」 He stares down at the timer of his phone’s recording. That’s almost 3 minutes.

⎯ 「 ... it’s not really what I was looking for when I asked you for some sick stories about being a broker... Like, I was expecting something a little more badass... maybe some creepy maybe-occult-maybe-mundane stuff... 」

[divineety-archived]

@protocopy​ has joined the Basariters! (REPOST BECAUSE FUCK TUMBLRS @ SYSTEM)

NeetGod posted:

⎯ 「 … and that’s because all of those videos where the doll starts actually moving? That’s a big set-up courtesy of the video-makers to make it seem as if the Hitori Kakurenbo is a real thing that really occurs! Probably mechanized puppets, or people moving them that were then edited  out… all part of the process to brainwash people into the fear of dolls, and then to use that fear to create better doll-based horror movies that will then cash more and more! It’s all an elaborate ruse to get more money! Like gluten-free cereal!!! 」

[divineety-archived]

‘ don’t. don’t you dare. ’

STARTERS FROM THE OFFICE!

⎯ 「 I will dare, because there is no way I’m gonna be the one to try and wear a cursed talisman! You’re the legal adult here, Sarai, so start… adulting or something and be the brave one here!!!! 」

[divineety-archived]

' the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you today? ’

Interview Yuta Gamon himself!

NeetGod replied:

       ⎯   「 Ha! Silly question, this is! As if I’d ever fall in any embarrassing situation without meaning it, without it being part of a greater keikaku! I would never! It’s not like today I tripped, fell against the firm chest of a really handsome guy, felt it up a little to understand where I was, and then loudly said “oh, this is the best pillow I’ve ever had under my head...”, all while he just looked at me weirded out and also probably sorta flattered! 」

      ⎯   Give it a second. Another one. One more.  「 ...Wait. 」 There it is! 「 Wait! Wait, no! You didn’t hear that! You didn’t hear any of that! That’s just a dream! I dream I’ve had! Yes I dream about that stuff! Hey, cut the camera! I said cut! CU-! 」