#✧There's no such thing as complete when it comes to stories. - PROMO[Self Promo]

[shenhuaxia]

Myths do hold some truths. There's more to our own existence.

Indie. Canon div. Multi-Muse

Composed by Cel

[actual-changeling]

Heya! Do you have any msr fic Recs?

I do have a lot! My ao3 bookmarks are all public, so you can go and browse those by fandom since I save every single fic I read. Fake/pretend relationship and anything involving them figuring out their relationship while around people are two of my all time favourite tropes. Here are some of my favourites though, they're either oneshots or completed:

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (~66k, E)

Getting home proves to be challenging for our favourite agents. Set during Season 7, after Millennium.

True Lies (~106k, T)

Post-Terma, Scully can't help but think they need protection against any future kangaroo court congressional hearings and comes up with a rather unconventional solution that she proposes of Mulder.

Since We Fell Apart (~23k, T)

Post One Son, Scully is fed up with playing second fiddle to everything in Mulder's life, and decides it's best to just be done with him. Skinner asks her to work one last case for the X-Files - undercover in Arcadia.

Keep It All the Year (26k, M)

Scully is summoned to San Diego for a funeral at Christmastime, and ropes Mulder into her family dysfunction. Set in S6, canon divergent but not wildly so.

The Whole Story (~2.6k, T) by @sisterspooky1013

If they thought Maggie couldn’t tell when two people are holding hands under the dinner table, they've got another thing coming.

The Marriage Spectacular (~20k, M)

Lost FBI agents. Stormy weather. A marriage retreat in a mountainside inn with one room available.

una via (~19k, M)

Mulder and Scully's changing relationship in the period after Amor Fati.

Plus some of my favourite authors whose works I am still digging through and enjoying a lot. There's nothing better than reading a great fic, going to their profile, and then realizing they have like 100 more of them.

Skinfull @baronessblixen OnlyTheInevitable fragilevixen @danascully77 cecily_sass audries kittenscully

I'm probably forgetting a bunch of people, so you're very much invited to add your favourite fics and/or your own (self promo is explicitly welcomed!!).

[hologramcowboy]

Okay, well, Jensen finally showed up on television again. This time, playing Russell Shaw on Tracker. I'm curious if you watched and what you think of his performance.

Personally, it felt like Dean Winchester never left. It didn't help that there were numerous (and obvious) SPN easter eggs in the episode. I'm curious if that's happened before when guest stars come on. Do the writer's play up that actor's previous roles as much as they did Jensen's?

I'm also curious about a few tweets I saw from people who attended the FBBC event. Apparently, Jensen talked about his role on Tracker.

https://twitter.com/kunerksterphoto/status/1789808856576487771 and https://twitter.com/kunerksterphoto/status/1789808858505888136

I know we get dude in #Tracker tonight, so a little story. I wore my “I Miss Dean” shirt to the brewery event last weekend and as soon as dude saw it he was like “you know that episode of Tracker I did? I asked how they saw me playing it and they told me to do what I know best. So if you miss Dean, you’re going to get quite a bit of Dean on Tracker because he’s what I do best.” So it was a conscious choice and I am so excited by this.

https://twitter.com/kgauck/status/1789821196839637236

He told me I'd probably see a lot of Dean in his role on Tracker. I joked that he was dressed a lot like Dean in the promo pics, and then he made a joke about being typecast.

It sounds like Jensen's basically thrown in the towel on improving his craft since he apparently doesn't mind playing Dean in all his roles, or being typecast.

I read things like this and I can't imagine that he'll ever get another lead role. It's all going to be guest spots for characters that are similar to Dean Winchester. It's disappointing because he's definitely had the time post-SPN to take classes and improve between Covid and the strike. I suppose if he's happy doing guest spots and conventions, good for him, but as a sort-of fan/nearly former fan, I'm just sad to see his career come to this.

He's becoming a sad cliché. He is confusing a character for his main type and that is why he will never be A list and definitely never be Batman.

Thank you for this lovely post, anon.

I did tune in for the episode and, quite frankly, I was disappointed. Casting him seems to have been a gimmick, right down to the beer mentions.

First off, his acting initially seemed to be improved, right up until he started using that fake voice again then it all became cringe after cringe. I am so saddened that Jensen can't see past Dean and that he can't be himself. I know now that he'll never make it, an actor that stagnates can't ever reach A list.

Justin, in comparison, acts naturally, he has a natural instinct and this really just made Jensen look even faker. For the for the first time, Jensen played a completely meh character. He's turning into one of those dudes that star in various shows that no one even remembers because they are just there to advance the lead's plot. Right down to his superficial, mediocre, unnatural choices and I am sorry but in no way did he have the layers of someone who served in the army. That was a key characteristic of his character and he completely missed the plot on that and that's because the mention of it was a Soldier Boy easter egg. Jensen gets so caught up in flaunting his celebrity persona he forgets to embody his characters realistically.

I've read comments from AAs who claim Russell is different compared to Dean and I just want to say: gimmick casting, the whole script was written to callback to Dean, easter eggs included. Stop lying to yourselves and admit that Jensen has thrown in the towel. He is a one trick pony and that one trick will soon expire because, you know what? It's not an interesting character, it's not someone to root for, it's not someone fighting for something. It's a bored, self centered man faking a rougher inner and outer state and mimicking (yes, that's right, mimicking not acting) an idea of his old character. Mimicking poorly. As someone who loved Dean Winchester( when he was well written), I really need Jensen to stop because he is ruining the memory and disrespecting the legacy.

Thank you, anon, for sending me this ask and for asking my opinion, it pains me to say but I agree with you, lead roles aren't feasible.

[melontoyo]

fav Onmyoji character and why?🤔

*cracks knuckles* Alright, you got me with this ask.

1. Asura Objectively, the number one favorite. You cannot separate his character or his story from Taishakuten, but in the end I guess it's natural to become very attached to the hero of a specific story, (a double hero story of a hero and an anti-hero, who switch roles halfway through), especially if they're so, so wonderfully fucked up. Asura (and when I speak of him, it applies to Taishakuten too, since neither character would be who they are without the other) is the deepest, most fleshed-out, most complicated and unique character in the entire game. His story and characterization and the accompanying media is so incredibly well produced, it can easily compete (and beat) other highly acclaimed stories out there. To think this was made, as essentially promo material, for a free-to-play mainland Chinese gacha game is absolutely NUTS. Yes I will praise this story and its production level to the stars because it irreversibly changed me. To me, this is the problematic, dramatic, queer love story. You know how Asura tells Taishakuten how meeting him was as if finally finding the thing he had been searching for all his life. This is me with this story, and this character. What I love is how he's so deeply complicated and inherently flawed, that even with the "good end" he chose for himself, his internal conflict is never resolved. He's someone who fights for genuine justice, someone who is genuinely caring, someone who's deep down insecure about himself, about opening himself up, trusting others, someone who wants to live a simple life and enjoy the little things. But he also genuinely enjoys committing mass murder, sadistic torture, he's rash and impulsive, he's someone who naturally chooses cruel means to an end. He swore to never kill again, to go against the very core of him, lock himself up and seal his own powers. And yet the first thing he does upon returning to the world of peace he made possible... is to murder without a second thought. And it's not a plot hole, it's a feature. Even when he's sane, he "learned" to deal with his own trauma in a completely unhealthy way, possibly as self punishment. This is obvious by how he's so loving and caring when dealing with Taishakuten's trauma.... Also I just want to add one thing. I'm glad I'm somehow able to gleefully ignore the fandom at large because, sorry, they don't get it. I'm tired of seeing nothing but fans taking everything interesting away from this story and washing it down to "uwu cute domestic boyfriends". Like heck no, these characters are so good because they are made to be incredibly fucked up.

2. Orochi Tough choice... but it's Orochi, the reason why I started playing this game. Again, a character who's absolutely delicious to rotate around in my brain like a rotisserie chicken because he's so complicated and so inherently flawed, and yet so right at the same time. Imho, he's an amazing antagonist and again, I very much distance myself from the fandom wo won't shut up about "snake eating books". Because both due to the nature of the game and its subsequent production approach, and because of its target audience, which is very much young adults despite the 8+ rating, where I don't even understand how they achieved this rating with all the outright graphic violence, drug abuse, and 900 dollar "micro" transactions etc, the story won't be explained and presented to you on a silver plate. You're supposed to come up with your own interpretation for certain parts, and it's exactly why stories for adult audiences are so enjoyable, for me anyway. Something that is a major contributing factor to me loving Orochi so much is Miyano Mamoru's voice acting which is absolutely insane. Not sure how the director instructed him, or how much they pay him, but basically he sounds like on the verge of an orgasm the entire goddamn time with the way how he deeply savors each word on his tongue before speaking it, and it's so incredibly fitting. Maybe Miyano Mamoru understands Orochi better than the writers themselves, who knows... Regardless, the way how Orochi's character and personality is so perfectly portrayed through the voice acting is heavenly. His voice is like sickly sweet, thick, honey, innocent and nonchalant, yet dominating and bewitching. I mean. You can just hear for yourself. (Note, it's best if you can understand Japanese because the official English translations unfortunately suck.)

3. Suzuka Wait, an actually good-aligned character??? Anyway, Suzuka is a wonderful take on the "big sister" archetype. She is big-hearted, kind, accepting, strong, determined, and has a great sense of responsibility. But she ends up being too trusting in others, in the way that she believes others are just as strong as her to fend for themselves, which ends up literally devastating her entire found family and the place they called home, literally killing her most important person in body and mind, her found brother. And yet, she's so strong to be able to not give up, to accept all the pain, to heal and to rebuild what they have lost. Also, as someone with the best big sister in the world, her character just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. She's wonderful.

And as a bonus, here's a selection of other favs in no particular order, because hell, in the end it's a waifu collection game and there's bound to be a lot of favs for varying reasons.

Enma, because I'm not immune to bewitching milfs, and her design is one of the absolute best in the entire game.

Tsukuyomi, because they're so sad and wonderfully questionable, also actually canon non-binary.

Onikiri. Groomed to be fucked up, and yet after regaining his free will, he willingly steps back into that path, because it's what he inherently craves. So delicious.

Garuda, my favorite disaster bi bird and Asura's pet dog. Probably one of the "normalest" and ironically most likeable characters. He's a bit conceited, strong and actually.... smart. And smart in the way that he knows his place, knows his limits and won't try things out of his league. And yet he can't help his smugness and want to test the waters... but he's a survivor still : ^)

And honorary mention to my fav hairy braindead bimbo slut, Kamikui. Yep I love them very dearly, and they're also carried by incredible voice acting.

[risingshards]

I've been hovering around a subscriber number and it's been going up and down a bit and cuz it went down a chunk today I'm a lil anxious, I worry about everything constantly so this probably isn't a big deal, but instead of dwelling on it I'm gonna try and self promote and maybe overcome this subscriber hurdle! So Self Promo Saturday in addition to Storyteller Saturday? Is that a thing already?

Anyways, if you've followed me for a while you've probably seen me talk about my main series, Rising Shards!

Rising Shards is my passion project, a super long web novel that updates Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. It's always tough for me to explain it, but in short it's part fantasy series, part slice of life, part comedy, part adventure, part romance. It's got a huge cast of characters that a vast majority of are queer!

What's life like in a world where monster folks called Cani are as normal as rainy days? What's it like to juggle learning how to use your powers on fantasy adventures with taking tests and giving speeches in class? How about balancing having crushes and getting over breakups with growing tails or having full on werewolf moments? That's what Zeta Faleur, a trans girl getting over a bad breakup, has to do when her fangs come in and she has to go to a Cani school.

Other main characters have to deal with similar issues as well. Zeta's best friend Oka, a kindhearted girl with a troubled upbringing struggles to fit in at school, gets her first crush around the same time she gets her first role in a school play. Kalei, a snarky gamer jock, begins to find her own identity and all the angst and joy that comes with it. Lillia, a by the books honor student, goes through as many crushes as she gets good grades, but what happens when someone finally likes her back? Longtime friends Aira and Laenie face off with the prospect of drifting apart, while similarly close besties Iris and Maia deal with getting closer. Marmalade, a trans girl who is a late transfer to Rising Shards, strains with self doubt and acceptance. Roux goes on a gender focused journey and finds confidence in themselves. Zeta's older sister Stella starts crushing on Zeta's teacher, Dr. Evy Diast, but are there sparks between them? (given that these two also have an 18+ side series which can be read here, the answer is probably yes).

And that's just a chunk of the characters, yes there are somehow more, including wizards, pop stars, goofy principals, princesses, wannabe hall monitors, filming experts, coffee lovers, gambling obsessed gremlins, mean girls, exes, and enemies! I love stories with a huge cast of characters and actually spent time in college getting my writing degree writing essays about series that juggle tons and tons of characters. For the others, you'll have to read the series to meet them! :)

If the length of the series is intimidating (understandable!), I like to think of it like a TV show or a long manga or light novel series. It may be a ton of chapters and words and such, but they're split up into episodes and seasons, so each chunk of episodes is a complete little arc like a TV episode, and each season completes a big story. With such a huge cast and the way I pace the story, I try to use the space I have to the fullest to spend lots and lots of time with the characters.

If you wanna check the series out, it'd mean the world to me. And big bonus if you subscribe as well. :) If Tapas isn't your jam, Rising Shards is also available on Scribble Hub!

Art for Rising Shards is done by the wonderful Flopicas!

[crime-wives]

13, 26, 27, please!

thank you for the ask!

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

oh wow, starting off with a tough one lol. hmm ok, i have a few fics dealing with self-harm, a topic incredibly personal to me. it's very difficult for me to write about, but simultaneously easy. i think the hard part about it is feeling like i need to be in a certain headspace when i'm writing about topics like that. and that headspace is often harmful for me. however, it's also easy to write about because i know how it feels so it kinda brings me a lot of catharsis. for example, in my most recent fic, my sky's not blue (it's violent rain) (absolutely shameless self-promo, heed the tags!) i struggled a lot with actually finishing it. my lovely friend @emily-prentits let me rant in their dms about it :)

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

to get into a character's head i constantly ask myself "what would they do if this happened?" i also try and think about where they are in the story and how they act. for example, s1 regina mills is completely different from s4 regina mills. so it really helps to contextualize where i want them to be in their arc. getting out is usually pretty easy because i tend to write in short, sporadic burst, rather than well-planned thought-out writing sessions. usually after i write, i'll read fic for a bit to transition away from writing mode™. sometimes i do regret going there, especially for my heavier fics, because of the headspace i have to be in to write those. but i find ways to deal with it.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

i would say either regina mills or addison montgomery.

addison is SO complex, she has so many different facets that a writer can choose to explore and it's really interesting to see how these often contradictory pieces fit together. an example of this is her cheating, she knows what she did was wrong, she regrets it, but she also tries to justify it. she's stressful to write because i always think i'm going to mess up her characterization.

regina is also stressful to write because she is like twenty different people in one. she's regina mills: mayor of a small cursed town in maine, fierce and unwilling to back down and also kind of a bitch. she's the evil queen: sadistic and vengeful and she doesn't care for anyone or anything. she young regina: tormented and abused, yet still and idealist at heart. seeking love and watching it crumble to pieces. she's leopold's wife: a child bride forced to mother a girl only a few years younger than herself. she's angry and trapped and so very alone. finally, she's henry's mom: caring and protective and loving with her whole heart. so it's really interesting to see how all these versions of regina affect her. which parts of her are which? when writing regina, all of these things are present, lurking in her subconscious. so it's extremely difficult to capture all of it without it coming off as too much or heavy handed.

anyway, i am so sorry for how long this got, i got a little carried away lol :)

[aerodaltonimperial]

hi, friends, guess what time it is? it's DEEP DIVE RING POSTS with katy (and vamp). today's theorizing sesh is near and dear to my heart, namely because it actually took me awhile to figure this one out.

(but before we start, this is one of those moments where i'm going to say remember how a month ago we said they were majorly stalling this storyline until wrestledream because all this shit started to not make sense anymore - WE WERE CORRECT! we just didn't have all the information, since we clearly didn't know about copeland hopping over and that was in the works during the stall time. but while we didn't have the players right, we were spot-on with the tactics being used because they didn't make sense with what had happened earlier. i'm gonna give us like a B+ on that assignment, for getting the details right but not the main characters, and this is using my 11th grade civics teacher as a model after i wrote a 3-page essay on a historical presidential election where i could remember minute details but not who fucking ran in the race.)

anyway, keep that in mind as we head into DEEP DIVE THEORY TIME with katy, because we're going to look at these two theories:

darby is not actually injured

they are stalling again

let's start with #1! WHAT?? you say, and yo, i know, it took me weeks to figure this out, too, because dude has legit been doing a good job with this. except... not quite good enough. let's break this part down first, because honestly, we're giving him mad props for his, on account of he's fucking smart, and also we were suckered in and i mean, i gotta give props where props are due.

i'm still not totally sure if he really did get injured at wrestledream or not, but if he DID, it certainly wasn't bad enough to stop him from immediately going to europe and climbing mountains for like 2 weeks. dude was rappelling. there's some really fucking important shoulder and arm shit that goes into rappelling lol. but specifically, i kept waiting for an update after wrestledream that never materialized - either on the dirt sheets or on his IG stories, like a "haha broke my arm #coffindrop" you know what i'm saying? never happened. he showed up once, did a promo, and left. to climb mountains. sus.

then, he comes back. attacks nick after his interview with his mom (typing that sentence was a joy, i can't lie). the next day, goes to nitro and absolutely does not land that flip. what he DOES land is on his shoulder. the dirt sheets DID pick this up, with some pretty hilarious headlines. after this, he appears on AEW in the sling. the very, very prominent sling. it's so prominent, that it's on top of his suit during the ric flair segment. he even goes so far as to film an IG story with sting as sting tells him NOT TO GO TRY THE TRIKE FLIP AGAIN and darby being like NO I HAVE TO DO IT EVEN IF I'M INJURED and you know what, me not catching it here is on me, 100%. they were laying it on way too thick. that injury was THROWN IN OUR FACES lol. i'm better than this, i swear.

he even got nitro to go in on it, which, again, props. they were all "oooohhh against doctor's orders" okay but you know what works? if he actually wears the sling. when he goes. and has something on his arm. when he does the flip again. and doesn't fucking coffin drop a dude backstage from a cabinet using his bad shoulder without missing a beat and then going in for one of those half bro hugs after. he completely no sold it there. that shit ain't injured.

(also please enjoy the random wrappings - sometimes it's his elbow! sometimes it's his wrist! sometimes his shoulder is broken, other times fractured! good lord, he's like a fucking wizard.)

i'm pretty impressed, though. he knew that everyone would go "this idiot is ACTUALLY DUMB ENOUGH to do this shit while injured!" and he banked on it and he played us. that's like... the most self-aware thing ever. god dammit. he's hotter now. i'm so mad. I AM SO MAD lol.

so okay, he's not actually injured. that's fucking kayfabe. but the question is... why? why are they running a kayfabe injury? if they just needed to get him time off for his europe trip, then... he's back now? why keep it up now? in fact, why go HARDER with it now, when there isn't any reason to keep him out of the ring?

and that's #2: they're stalling again.

specifically, they are stalling for full gear. this storyline has suffered so many incidents of stalling, and we've really only identified the source of one of them: copeland. but, like, why did darby win the battle royale on july 19 to get a shot at the TNT belt AT THE BEGINNING OF SEPTEMBER? why on EARTH was that so delayed? anyway, i digress, the point is they are stalling, and i don't know why. sting is around until march. this feud has been going for months, so they don't need to add any additional story, so... unless darby fucks off for another climbing trip, i can't figure out why they would stall just for another PPV. this FUCKING STORYLINE has run for MONTHS and there is no REASON that christian should still be targeting darby when he's gotten everything he wants (the belt and nick wayne).

they are obviously teasing that copeland is going to be the third person in the sting+darby team, but vamp doesn't think he will be and i'm inclined to agree with her. the copeland v. christian feud is going to be a major thing for them, and it doesn't make much sense for them to go against each other in the ring for the first time!! ... in a 6-way tag match that isn't even really about them. we think there will be a bait and switch with this: they'll tease it like it will be copeland, as they already are, and then they'll pull the "i can't fight my friend" and bring someone else in, thus prolonging the inevitable copeland v christian show-down for later when it can be its own match, as it deserves to be.

but why. are. they. stalling. this. until. full. gear.

so the options are, in order of most likely to least likely:

darby is going to leave for another trip and they needed to give him time off. since it's his fake injury, this is my most likely option. the only reason i question this is because he's pulled this kayfabe injury into REAL TIME and darby... does not really do that super often. his IG runs non-kayfabe at all times. they could easily "fake" the injury on screen and he does whatever he wants off-screen.

they want to put more story into this, which is not necessary at this point because this has literally been going since july. but AEW likes beating dead horses with sticks, so. possible.

they are going to use ric flair and wanted to give him a PPV so it's a bigger match, which doesn't really make sense since he had a huge retirement match last year. but, maybe it's a big middle finger to everyone else, who knows.

they are stalling because they need the location of full gear.

why would they need the location of full gear? because full gear is happening in los angeles. if you needed to bring someone back after an altercation and were not sure what the reception was going to be, the best place to do it? hometown crowd. BUT KATY THIS MAKES SENSE WHY IS THIS THE LAST OPTION. because i don't trust ANY OF THESE FUCKS to do what makes narrative sense here lol. bringing jack in for copeland IS THE MOST SATISFYING NARRATIVE OPTION IN THIS STORYLINE. it's got punch, it's got pop, it's got the mirror of the mentee vs mentor we already have with darby and nick. it's finally bringing jack in when his GHOST has been behind this entire thing from the start. BUT IT HAS ABOUT A .2% CHANCE AND WE KNOW I DON'T EVER GET WHAT I WANT. so it's the last option. is it the most satisfying? yes. would it be what i wrote if this was a story? yes. will they do it? no.

honestly, darby doesn't need to BE in this story any longer. the only thing he needs to come back for now is nick, and they can tease that out until march before he leaves for everest and have the big darby vs nick showdown then. there's certainly no need to do it now: let it simmer. let them beat each other up backstage more. let shayna have more tearful interviews about their bro-tastic relationship. but he doesn't need to be here. and i can't figure out why christian is still targeting him, specifically. there's no point.

so... i'm stuck. i guess we'll see where they go with this, and if darby fucks off again, then we have our answer as to why they were stalling for nov. 18th, but for now.... i don't know! i have nothing. i have the most compelling narrative option, and i don't believe that they'll do it. so we're stuck lol.

i welcome any ideas to this, because i'm annoyed that i can't find the thread to pull this one out. and as always, if i'm wrong, it's because i'm actually kind of dumb: remember that essay. that B+ was kinder than it should have been hahaha.

[snowbellewells]

Self Promo Sunday: “Reality and Roses”

Hello, everyone! This week’s re-run is a silly little bit of fluff that I dreamed up from my own ridiculous fondness for watching (even when I’m laughing at the craziness of it while I do!) “The Bachelor” and “Bachelorette”, and then wondering what in the world Killian Jones would make of this unbelievable drama we actually call “reality tv”. The rest just followed from there. It’s set roughly parallel to season seven, but where we get to see the newlywed pirate and princess set up their home together and enjoy another version of the domestic day-to-day that many of us would have enjoyed onscreen. Their little girl is on her way, but not yet born, and Henry is off searching for his own story.

~ Also available on AO3 or ff.net as part of my one shots collection “Of Swans and Swords and Hopeful Hearts”

         “Swan! Swan!”

         Emma struggles not to snort through her nose as she picks up the two plates full of Chen Po’s China Kitchen takeout she has dished up for them.  They’ve already stuffed themselves on Crab Rangoon and Won Ton Soup anyway, but that doesn’t quell her desire for Sweet and Sour Chicken, nor will it stop her pirate from having at least half his new favorite carryout Beef and Broccoli (though he would swear up and down that preference was untrue if Granny Lucas were present). Lately, Emma could swear that she has become a bottomless pit in this, her third trimester of pregnancy.  She can eat Killian under the table hands down, regardless of the food, but Chinese has been her go-to craving.

         She doesn’t even know yet what it is her captain wants to tell her, but the shock and almost affront in his tone lets her know ahead of time that it’s one of those gentleman fish-out-of-water, Land Without Magic things that still, almost two years into their marriage, manage to shock and baffle him. Clearly, leaving him to channel surf for their evening’s entertainment on the “magical picture box” as she dished up the main course has paid off in one way or another, if only for her momentary amusement. 

         Entering the living room once more, a plate in each hand and curiosity – she’s sure – painted across her face, Emma is not at all surprised by the way Killian seems to snap to attention from the rapt focus he had been training on the television.  In seconds, he is on his feet and at her side, taking one plate from her and gently ushering her ahead of him back to the couch before which their drinks, utensils, napkins, and the demolished remnants of their appetizers are strewn across the coffee table. 

         “My apologies, Love,” he murmurs, rubbing his nose along the bend of her neck and shoulder for just a moment, his warm breath ghosting over her skin bared by the boatneck sweater she is wearing and nearly making her drop her plate before she can put it down on their makeshift table and resettle in her seat.  She bites her own lip in her surprised jolt of excitement and almost turns to grab him around the shoulders and pull him back in for a proper taste of those full, irresistible lips – the food can wait after all – only for him to sit back from her on the couch, looking embarrassedly shamefaced. 

         “What, Killian?” she asks, senses reeling and completely baffled. Her hand settles on his bicep, grounding herself as well as letting him know he has her attention.  “What are you apologizing for?”

         Her adorable nerd of a husband gazes back up at her, a slight flush just barely visible through the unshaven scruff of his cheeks as those blue, blue eyes meet hers from beneath his dark lashes.  “For making you get up and fetch the main course alone.  You certainly are not my waitress, and I was coming to help you – truly.  I could have sworn you’d been gone but a moment – I was right behind you! – and then this…this…bloody demon transfixed me once again.” He gestures at the tv vaguely before turning to sheepishly study her face for signs of annoyance.

         Emma can’t help but shake her head, half exasperated and half humored.  It would seem that as remarkable as her True Love is in so many other respects, he is every bit as susceptible to the gravitational pull of the television as any other man.  Reaching out playful fingers to brush aside the longer fringe that has flopped over Killian’s forehead, she then cups his cheek in her hand and pulls him to her easily, pressing a short, teasing kiss to the bridge of his nose.  “No worries,” she soothes with a genuine smile on her face as she meets his gaze.  “I’ve told you time and again that I may look the size of a house and like I shouldn’t be able to move, but being pregnant does not mean I can’t do anything for myself.”           

         His mouth opens, about to argue that he means to wait on her hand and foot, no doubt, but she cuts him off with a shake of her head and a kiss to his mouth this time – which almost derails them completely, her low hum of pleasure in the back of her throat causing them both to dive deeper, pulled together like magnets before she finally leans away, sitting back in her own space once more.  “Besides, I’m the one who couldn’t wait another minute for her Sweet and Sour Chicken,” she adds, breaking the hold of his heated stare to spear one of the breaded poultry bites on her fork, dunk it in the pinkish-orange sauce, and quickly bring the morsel to her mouth.  After swallowing with pure satisfaction, she prompts, “So, what was it you wanted to tell me a minute ago? Something on the tv?” 

         Killian jerks upright at that, eyes wide as he clearly remembers what had gotten him so up-in-arms.  Gesturing to their television’s screen, now advertising some sort of overpriced mop-and-broom-in-one wonder contraption, to which his eyes veer and Emma just barely stifles a giggle as her ridiculous neat freak almost loses his concentration again, this time to the advertisement’s hold.  But then, Killian focuses and looks at her in earnest outrage as he explains, “It was promotion for an upcoming program – one of those preposterous reality competitions.” The disdain dripping from his words would be enough to send Emma chuckling again, this time at how seriously he takes his evening programming, if she didn’t first press her lips together to forestall the outburst and then shove enough chicken in her mouth to keep busy chewing and not reveal how amused she is by the whole thing. 

         Killian isn’t done though; in fact, he looks as if he would march right up to whatever powers-that-be control the network schedule, give them a piece of his mind and wave his hook under their noses for good measure, if he only knew where and how to find them.  He’s just gathering steam as he launches into the rest of his description.  “Apparently some single, mildly attractive bloke is set up in a mansion while several comely young lasses jostle to woo him and win his hand.  That has to be a mistake. Doesn’t it, Swan?  Why, the very premise is ludicrous.  He can’t date all of them at once!  Who would stand for that?!  They called it ‘The Bachelor’, but I must have it wrong.  No true gentleman bachelor would behave in such a manner – nor try it even, if he possessed a lick of sense…” However, his voice trails off at this point, eyes narrowing as he truly registers the expression now covering his wife’s face.  “Wait a minute… Emma, why do you look like that?”

         It’s her turn to blush brightly and unsuccessfully try to avoid his eyes, though it does no good and only tips him off further.  She had once been quite fond of The Bachelor – not that she’d have ever thought to tell anyone about it by choice – but the overly dramatic, outlandish guilty pleasure had kept her company on her couch with a pint of Rocky Road ice cream in that lonely apartment in Boston as she unwound after a long skip chase or stakeout more nights than she could count. “Well, I don’t know how many self-respecting gentlemen they really draw, but you’d be surprised what those ‘lovely young lasses’ as you put it, will stand for – and do – Killian.  It’s more intriguing than you’d think.”  This last is mumbled in a rush as she ducks her head and pretends to have difficulty getting an errant morsel of chicken onto her fork.  She isn’t necessarily ashamed of being a Bachelor devotee at one point, and Killian wouldn’t judge her for it anyway, but she is abruptly struck by how absurd it all must seem to someone who comes from the place and time he does, and with the sense of honor which runs so deeply through his veins.  She flushes all over suddenly, floored by how blind she had been not that long ago, how little she had known back in those days on her own…just how different it is when those feelings the show plays on – when love itself – is True. 

         Killian’s eyes bulge almost comically; she has to reach out to soothingly to pat his thigh, as he’s entirely too distraught for his own good.  “Emma, truly?” he asks, voice quieter but still almost aghast at the very concept.  “He dates all of them?!  The cad!! How can you watch such poor form, Swan?  It’s atrocious!” 

         She grins mischievously at him, shrugging away her embarrassment and giving him a saucy wink.  “Look, it’s easier to just show you, alright?  Tonight’s Monday, so it will be on in…” she checks the clock above the fireplace, “about half an hour.  I’m guessing that’s what the commercial was about.  You can check out the season premiere for yourself, Pirate.”

         Her husband huffs indignantly as if he has no desire to do any such thing, but by the time eight o’clock has rolled around, he has finished his meal, taken both their plates back into the kitchen, brought her a bowl of the restaurant’s specialty pineapple sorbet for dessert, and settled into his place on the couch again, with her feet gathered in his lap.

         As the program starts, Emma points out various routine practices and occurrences on the show, explains how this or that usually works, and Killian seems grudgingly engrossed despite his nobler intentions.  When the appointed Bachelor flubs one of his prospective mates’ names at the cocktail party, Killian scoffs loudly enough to draw her attention. Glancing sideways, she challenges, “Think you could do better, do you? That’s a lot of names to keep straight!” 

         Killian however doesn’t miss a beat, sliding his gaze across to capture hers with twinkling charm, “Any decent suitor has ways of holding onto those names which matter,” he counters smoothly, waggling his brows at her in flirtatious come-on.

         Emma does snort then, but at least partly to cover the way he makes her breath catch and her heart start beating faster.  

         Her husband is smart enough not to gloat at this, though he easily notices and reads her as well as ever, merely nodding with a secretive smile and gathering her close to his side as she leans over on him while they continue to watch.  When it reaches the stage where the chosen man is going on his first intimate date with one of the women and the pair onscreen are sharing a romantic candlelit dinner, Emma tilts her head to look up at her handsome husband, studying his beloved, scruffy profile and sliding her hand over his solid chest to slip under the typical, partially-unbuttoned collar and rest her palm tenderly against the warm, inviting skin right over his heart.  “So, a little more romantic than you figured, Captain?” she questions curiously.

         Killian chuckles lightly, giving a tiny bob of his head in acknowledgment, but when he turns to look back into her eyes, Emma sees clearly that he has not yet played his last card.  Reaching the bared stump of his left forearm, brace and hook long since removed this evening for comfort’s sake, to rest beneath her chin and gently turning her face to just the angle he is after, Killian bends to kiss her slowly, languorously, stealing her breath and every thought of reality dating, exotic locales, or winning their little debate from Emma’s mind.  When he does pull back, just enough for them to each draw a bit of air, their lips still only centimeters from each other, the low rasp of words he intones in that voice she can’t ignore sends shivers all the way down her spine. “Aye, my love, I do see the appeal.” He runs that devious tongue over his lower lip before going back to hers for another taste and nearly making her melt into the couch cushions beneath them. 

         At their next pause, he gathers her closer still, nuzzling his nose with hers, their foreheads resting against each other before he looks into her eyes seriously, his question now truly concerned, “But even so, people do not seriously think that a deep relationship can be formed in this way, do they?  Surely you would not have gone on a show like that?  Competed that way as if love were a wrestling match or choreographed script?”

         Emma tilts her head to the side as she considers his question, shrugging noncommittally when she answers, “Well, no, probably not.  I mean, I definitely didn’t think they were finding real love. But as a lark…who knows?  I mean, they got to travel, be pampered, live it up. It might have been fun.”

         “Fun, hmm?” Killian murmurs at her temple, his hand now gently resting on her swollen stomach, the warmth truly comforting, even as she knows he is about to challenge her again.  “Well, be that as it may, lass, luckily you are now married to an illustrious pirate captain fully aware of how to woo a lady and able to take you any place in this realm, or any other, on the fastest, most marvelous ship in existence.”

         Emma smiles up into his gorgeous face before resting her head on his shoulder and relaxing into his touch for the long haul.  “You’re forgetting the real difference that I finally understand,” Emma whispers to him lightly.  “Back then, I didn’t believe love existed anyway.  It didn’t matter if what they were selling on tv was a scam, because I didn’t think what we have was possible.  Just like you said in Neverland – not until I met you.”

         Killian’s pleased agreement rumbles in his chest, and Emma feels the vibrations pleasantly throughout her own body where she rests in his arms.  The fancy jewelry, ball gowns, televised proposals, and celebrity serenades they see before them on camera, none of that holds a candle to this man with whom she now shares her life and her home.

 ~~ ***~~ 

         And so, when Killian comes in from the station at dinnertime two nights later, and surprises her in the kitchen by kneeling before her and holding out a single yellow buttercup to match the bloom inked on her wrist, and asks if she will accept his token, Emma can hardly be surprised.  Nodding and grinning with perfect glee – and thinking how much prettier this simple flower is, reflecting her more than any red rose ever could – her smile feels as though it might split her face completely in half. Emma finds herself giggling as he stands and somehow manages to sweep her off her feet and spin her around, impressive baby belly and all.  “Well Love, since you have accepted this formerly hopeless bachelor’s proposal, you are entitled to an all-expense paid trip to the destination of your choice I’ve arranged.  We leave Saturday; anywhere you want to go, one more magical getaway before the little one arrives. It’s all taken care of.”

         Swept up in the romance and surprise of her husband’s plan, Emma Swan - now Jones - can only marvel at how her reality is so much better anything she could have imagined.

Tagging a few who might enjoy: @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @laschatzi @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jrob64 @apiratewhopines @xarandomdreamx @elizabeethan @donteattheappleshook @the-darkdragonfly @motherkatereloyshipper @xsajx @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @optomisticgirl @tiganasummertree @spartanguard @therooksshiningknight @gingerchangeling @gingerpolyglot @booksteaandtoomuchtv @sotangledupinit @resident-of-storybrooke @stahlop @kazoosandfannypacks @anmylica @hollyethecurious @darkcolinodonorgasm @eddisfargo @jonesfandomfanatic @bdevereaux @zaharadessert @winterbaby89 @swanslieutenant 

[lauraroselam]

i wasn't sure if you would read the tags i'd leave if i reblogged your reply to my ask so i decided to just send you another ask! ha! i'll bullet point them this time bc i have quite a few things to say:

1. you can definitely keep my asks public, i really don't mind :)

2. never have i ever been so excited to open an email, and that too first thing in the morning. seeing your reply, especially that little treat at the end (!!!!!!!!!), had me smiling and kicking my feet in bed. i'm, impossibly enough, even more excited for Emberclaw now.

3. having more than one narrative position in a book is certainly ambitious and one that i haven't encountered in any other book so far, but it grows on you, fast (at least it did on me), and can be an acquired taste to some who are willing to give it a chance. i think you might just be the first author who has changed my mind completely on first person narratives and i owe it to your flawless delivery, of course (i'm biased, i'll admit). also, "narrative positions" was exactly the word that wouldn't come to me in my fit of excitement while writing my last ask; it was a tiny brain-fart moment on my part when i said "pov choice" instead haha.

4. this is more of an aside really but it once took me 400 pages (of a 800+ pages) to get into a book, so imho, 50 pages isn't asking for much. fantasy novels tend to be a little demanding! also, it was my first proper foray into epic fantasy. i then went on to finish the series despite the really, really, really slow start. the slowest. i think a reader can tell when the wait will be worth it though, almost like a gut feeling.

5. multi-pov is another polarizing aspect of books, but then again, it can be enjoyed if done well. i once read a book with 14 povs and gave it 5 stars. it wasn't even a fantasy novel, but a contemporary one! in comparison, your book with its 4 povs is pretty tame, and i think, even the norm for epic/high fantasy novels. personally, i enjoy being in the head of different characters! especially when you've got a big cast of them. also, that surprise 5th pov toward the end took me quite by surprise!! jaw, meet floor.

6. i do have a GR account! and i certainly have plans on leaving well-deserved, glowing reviews on both the book and audio :) it's the least i can do!

7. this one is more of a suggestion to those who might find the narrative positioning a little jarring: listen to the audiobook instead; it warms you up to it much faster!

i think that just about covers it. again, i cannot say this enough, but Dragonfall would not be the story i fell absolutely in love with had you not made the narrative (ha!) choices you did. i hope more people come to appreciate and love it as much as i do, and are willing to give it the fair chance it deserves <3

much love 💖

I think I'd see the tags! I'm so out of practice with Tumblr, but I have enjoyed coming back to it as I feel in some ways I can be more authentic over here rather than the more traditional promo over on tiktok and insta. Not that I'm inauthentic elsewhere it's just...here you can be a bit more off the cuff, I think?

1. Whew!

2. Aww yay! Interacting with readers is honestly one of my favourite things. I'm so excited when I hear from someone who got what I was trying to do. Releasing art for public consumption can be excellent but also hard. Dragonfall is probably my most personal book, so it being marmite made me so self-conscious. I always think about that Don Marquis quote "Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo." It's nice when you get the echoes back. :-)

3. I was inspired to be experimental after reading The Fifth Season, which is a masterpiece. I've heard good things about The Spear Cuts Through Water which also does cool narrative position trickery, I think. I also really love framing devices of people looking back, like in Assassin's Apprentice by Hobb (my fave author, as evidenced by the dedication). I'm glad I could open you up to all the opportunities of first person! I taught a class on narrative positions when I was a creative writing lecturer so I'm just very passionate about how form can marry function, hah.

4. Yes, four (technically five) is tame compared to some! I did seven in Seven Mercies and whew, that was a lot, even though technically my co-writer and I mostly split it up. My next projects will be 2 and then 1 as a bit of a breather. It is harder to balance multi POV, but I love the "heteroglossia" potential of storytelling.

6. Thank you!

7. I wish I could listen to the audiobooks of my books! I get too self-conscious or want to edit. I can say that Philip and Rachel did amazing jobs from the samples I head, though, and I was super excited they hired a nonbinary voice actor for Arcady. This was also my first time having more than one voice actor, which was neat.

And yes, I hope so too. <3

[hukkelberg]

sorry this ended up v jumbled. it really irritates me that colin's s2 "are you mad?" comment was so built up when all it did was lead into the teaching plot. his apology fell so flat to me bc he never actually explains why he said that - he says he shouldn't have said it, that he thinks v highly of pen, that he's not embarrassed of her, but then why did he say that? what was going through his head? idk i just don't think you can throw in a Moment like that, actively make it a source of conflict in the new season, then not actually explain why one of our main characters did it. i can certainly come up w a variety of explanations for it but i shouldn't have to imo. esp when it's about a character sorely lacking in interiority - having him question his own motives/instincts/w/e in an already plot-relevant moment seems like such an easy route to that for me. also the teaching plot in general was useless to me (both entertainment and plot-wise) - genuinely kind of convinced that it ended up in there bc they wanted ppl who read the books to not scream at them and they felt they had to contrive a reason for pen to be rejected by the ton but were doing everything they could to not comment on pen/nic's body At All. all it did was retcon some of pen's characterization (wrt her ability to speak to ppl) which really annoys me lol. the use of debling was so weird imo - also annoys me that pen never got a second option that was really viable (bridgerton's second options aren't ever romantically viable but daphne would have been a princess whereas pen would get ditched immediately for debling's travels). also violet's comment about colin never putting himself first is so confusing to me - i've seen ppl go on about how it's referencing that colin is a ppl pleaser basically but most big show things w colin revolve around him doing w/e he wants: literally no one approved of him and marina - he plans to elope; he spends at least half the year traveling on his own during which he's beholden to no one, pursuing his only interest, and completely relying on his family's money; his help w the cousin jack thing was just not a sacrifice for him; the comment to fife - he threw pen under the bus to (presumably) avoid feeling uncomfortable in a random conversation. obviously the way he pursues pen is meant to be a deviation from his supposed history of self-sacrifice but him actively fucking up pen's chances w debling bc he's decided that he wants to marry her now just seems v in line w colin doing w/e he wants the moment it comes to him. that sounds rough on colin i promise i like him most of the time lol.

you raise such good points, my friend, and imo it all leads to the fact that season three just severely mishandled their main characters. the change of writers would've meant some friction regardless, but the hard left all these characters took was a just. jarring. and bland! i do genuinely wonder if someone in this production did not have their heart in it, but then why focus on colin and pen at all? particularly when their story is meant to happen so many years after everybody else's. did they think they'd lose nicola soon? but then why doom her to the revolving door of main actors who leave a season after theirs? and then why make her character the framework for this show if you were just going to shuffle her out the door three seasons in? oh the whistledown thing makes me furious btw. that's the one thing that i truly, truly despise about the show. so truly stupid, false, and cowardly. i have a whole rant about it but every time i get into it i just combust with rage. having her apologize to the ton????? such a disservice to the character, to the narrative device--and to what end?

that really is the losing point of this whole season. nothing matters. nothing ever really mattered at all. i kinda knew when that was one of the first clips they showed as promo was the whole scene that they wouldn't go all in with it as the big betrayal i would've gone for but the fact that it literally had. no. importance whatsoever. same with the teaching plot! same with debling! none of these things had ANY impact. there were no stakes up until cressida came in and you know who those stakes were for? CRESSIDA. the only character to suffer any consequences was her--and truly the only character to be a character at all. the cressida plot, and the eloise and penelope plot, were about the only things i thought were sufficiently emotionally riveting to watch. even the queen lacked interiority compared to other seasons. everyone did! could it have been editing? i have no idea.

on the matter of colin: my working theory is that they just fully decided to chuck everything they'd been setting up with him because the character was harder to work into the Regency Male Lead mold and they didn't trust their audience to keep watching if he was not exactly like that. but they knew it was a hard turn, so they tried to cover it up with the whole "haha we are self aware of this thing we're doing! so it is totally on purpose, but like, in a good way!" type of way modern films in that marvel tone do? like, if we get the audience in on the joke (isn't it soooo funny how colin is acting way different? haha? laugh with us.), then we're absolved. and frankly, i said it on my other blog, that could have been a good plot, if they'd bothered to use it as a vehicle to interrogate literally anything. masculinity. regency leads. colin as a character. my god.

obviously, it did not work, which is why as you well point out violet's comment completely falls flat. his previous actions do not correspond. he's never done anything for anyone but himself, but he doesn't have to. that's anthony's job! and even that could have been interesting. what if colin started helping penelope only to find he has helped nobody at all? what if you are a worse person than you've thought you were? would deconstructing that image of him not be interesting? mind you i keep trying to find purposeful flaws for him because the show filed him smooth like a pebble. they were fearful, i think, and paid handsomely for it.

[soopersara]

Do you have any zutara podfic recs? I’m all caught up on a tale of ice and smoke, and am in need of a fix

Ooh, I hope you've been enjoying Ice & Smoke! I cannot believe how close I am to posting the entirety of Book 1 at this point! (Which... I mean, it's still going to be several weeks, but considering the fact that it's been going for well over a year, THAT'S REALLY CLOSE!)

Soooooo... I was going to say that I feel really bad about how I've barely listened to any Zutara podfics that aren't my own, but it turns out that the Zutara podficcing community is like... really small 😅 Small as in, of the 53 total Zutara podfics on AO3, more than half (28 of them, to be exact) are mine. So on the bright side, I don't have to feel so bad about slacking when it comes to listening to other people's podfics. On the less-bright side, there's just not much selection out there.

Anyone who might have been thinking about getting into podficcing, go ahead and give it a shot! It's not going to make you fandom-famous or anything (which is arguably a good thing), but there's not a lot of competition for attention either!

As far as podfics by other people go, I'm at least aware of owedbetter's i'm still here and The Jasmine Dragon Tea Hour's adaptation of Tempest in a Teacup by akavertigo. I'm pretty sure both of those are dramatic adaptations with more than one voice actor, and I think JD Tea Hour did adaptations of a couple of other fics and has had another in the works for... a while. I don't see any other fics that I know well enough to recommend in the list of Zutara podfics, but I have read both i'm still here and Tempest in a Teacup, so I can at least say that I liked the stories, even if I never got around to the audio versions.

And then, since I kind of stumbled into becoming the Zutara fandom's most prolific creator for its least popular format, I might as well do a bit of self promo too:

Only by Starlight is the longest complete podfic I've posted so far - basically Book 3 Painted Lady/Zuko shenanigans with some angst and hurt/comfort

A Father's Pride

Told You So

Date

Caught

Awkward

The last five are all oneshots - check the summaries and tags to see if any of them sound interesting, I guess! I do have podfics out there for a BUNCH of other fics too, but... they were recorded before I owned a real microphone, and the sound quality from my computer's built-in mic is Not Great. I'm working on remakes of all of those fics, which will start coming out sometime after I finish posting the I&S Book 1 podfics, but the originals are still out there if you're willing to deal with some less-than-spectacular audio.

I'm also working on a podfic of Stolen Bending, and I'll be starting on I&S Book 2 within a couple of months, but those probably won't get posted until the fics themselves get to the 'light at the end of the tunnel' phase, so probably not worth marking your calendar for those ones yet.

And thanks for the ask, @amandayetagain! It's always so cool to hear that someone is listening to my podfics and enjoying them!

[freneticfloetry]

fic rec friday fun

So wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

My Works List's answer to everything but Most and Least Words is the same fic, because for whatever reason it is a runaway train, so I'm going to use that for the first and the second spots for everything else. Kisses to @carlos-in-glasses for the tag.

Most Hits: Ashes and Flame (Every You and Every Me) (Hunger Games Trilogy) Peeta comes home, still unsure what the word means. I finished Mockingjay about eleven o'clock one night and stayed up way too late just to write this. It was a fever bunny. I still have no idea how people are still finding and reading this fic, but I have such a fondness for it to this day.

Most Kudos: Lost in Translation (The Losers) Jensen's given a Spanish side mission, and learns more than he thought he would. Sometimes in song. Once upon a time, a friend and I made a pact to write a different NYR fic for unfilled Yuletide prompts every week for a year. That lasted exactly two weeks, because I couldn’t write short to save my life, but I had two of my favorite fic experiences ever as a result. This was the second. I always love getting to play in the brains of characters with the kind of snarky stream-of-consciousness voice Jake Jensen has, and writing this was a blast.

Most Comments: scenes from an unfinished story (told by the lost and found) (The Magicians) The summary is a story on its own, so I'll just say: it's a Queliot Hollywood AU featuring Eliot the Actor and Quentin the Aspiring Writer (who, for the moment, is a PA), based on, of all things, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton. It was my Magicians Happy Ever After Big Bang, and it holds a special place in my heart for a multitude of reasons, but the holy trinity of those is that it was my first real foray into AU territory, it was the proudest I've ever been in my structure and storytelling abilities, and it gave me some of the best friends I'll ever have.

Most Bookmarks: Deck the Halls with Daddy Issues (MCU) Tony Stark doesn't do Christmas. But Steve loves Christmas, and he loves Steve, and he's going to try. (Which still doesn't mean he'll be any good at it.) Third in line here, since the second was already on the list. This was an Avengers movie spec written for the cap_ironman exchange, back in the days before the movie was actually released and squashed every Steve/Tony inkling I've ever had. I also completely forgot about it, in the madness of Yuletide that year, got a reminder email from the mods, said "no no, it's almost done!" when I hadn't written a word, and vomited this onto the page in a six-hour all-nighter. Still, it makes me smile.

Most Words: Past Perfect Future Tense (The Magicians) It happened. That they'd asked themselves how, when it's literally the least important part of this, he can chalk up to shock or shortsightedness or his own sheer stupidity. It's the why that actually matters, and he thinks he knows the answer to that. So the real question… is how to make it happen again. My monster Magicians WIP. I've nicknamed it Cerberus. Plotting this thing just about broke my brain, with all its time travel shenanigans, and the forecasted chapter count has almost doubled since I started, but I still love the idea and get excited just thinking about it. Soon, my precious.

Least Words: So Have I For You (Firefly) Discipline only carries you so far, lies are never good enough to truly fool yourself, and pride goeth before a fall. She's never been trained for this. Y'all, I used to write short fic. Granted this is about fifteen years old, but still. It is a full and complete story in less than 600 words. Where has that girl gone? This is just a little look at Inara, as she prepares to leave Serenity, and all the reasons why she has to.

I think everybody's pretty much been tagged, but just in case: @hoko-onchi-writes, @mixtapestar, @rubickk7, you're it.

[smooth-boob]

⭐ !!!

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut Game

Thank you for sending this, and once again I am literally so sorry, but this is just going to be a long diary entry about The Bustle in a House, a Bridgerton fic I wrote, particularly the epilogue. My inner monologue is loud, and normally it's just me in here! Apart from being unhinged in tags, I don't post a lot of personal things on here, but I have something to say!

I feel like I talk about The Bustle in a House a lot on here, and in terms of hits/kudos/statistics, it's not one of my most popular fics (I mean, it's not shippy and it's aggressively sad, so I get it lol), but it was really a breakthrough story for me! Link at the bottom for shameless self promo, woo.

It's funny, looking at my google docs now, I guess it only took me six weeks to write, but it was literally all I thought about for those six weeks. I was scratching at the walls of my enclosure writing this thing. Apart from a couple Bridgerton one-shots and a quickly abandoned fic, I hadn't written almost anything on my own in such a long time. It was also emotionally charged and gritty and I was so impatient to get the story out but I needed to get it out the way that felt right.

Beyond that, I struggle(d) to write complete stories that aren't just scenes stitched to each other. Honestly, Bustle is still like that, but it all stitches together very nicely if I do say so myself. Still, I had been agonizing a little bit over the fact that I didn't know how the fic was going to end. I couldn't keep writing it forever...I mean, I guess I could, because it's really not that long, and there's actually more of it in my drafts, but I was trying to tell a very particular story and also have I mentioned that I am impatient? But the story didn't have an end because it's an origin story about unhealed trauma, so what was I going to do with that?

So, at least to give myself a bookend to the real story, I wrote the epilogue. I wrote it in a thirty-minute fit of inspiration one evening while tipsy on red wine, sitting at a desk in my parents' house where I'd been living for about three years because y'know, pandemic, and I was feeling trapped and burnt out and indecisive and afraid, etc. and if you read it, you might see me staring at you through Anthony, wink wink. (Quick caveat that, unlike Anthony, living with my parents was an overall loving experience at that point in my life!)

Anyway, in true Hemingway spirit, I wrote drunk, and when I went to edit sober, I was delighted that it didn't need much help. I obsessed over details, like changing scotch to whisky and then to brandy (it's sweeter, and he's so young). This is not to say that the epilogue is perfect; it's not, but it is what it needed to be.

It is a love poem of a kind for a character that hit me hard. It's a short prose poem about grief and loneliness and the 'wrong' ways to heal and it's about thinking you're at the acceptance stage of grief but really it's just depression. It's about losing parts of yourself and coming of age into something that doesn't feel right but feels inevitable, and so you stop fighting and just get on with it. It's about the before, and Anthony not knowing that he has an after and eventually, yes, years later eventually, he's going to be okay. More than okay, he's going to be happy.

(And he only has a year until Doing The Voices, and I let him be happy for at least a few nights in that! He doesn't know that he's doing the right things when taking care of his family. Not always, but more than he knows he is.)

As for me, I moved out of my parents' house and into my own newly purchased 'bachelor lodgings' (so to speak) about a month after I posted the last chapter, and I'm writing more than I have in years! Baby steps! Adult steps!

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk/therapy session. Probably no one should ask me anything else for a while lmao, who knows what will happen!

Read The Bustle in a House on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47126467

Or if you don't feel like being sad, read Doing The Voices instead: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47976274

[ionlytalktodogs]

Sorry for the shameless self promo but I’m actually not sorry at all, here’s some quick descriptions for my fan fiction if anyone feels like they’d like some new fan fics to read.

The Art of Cooking - Literally horrible Breaking Bad x Hannibal crossover. Everyone is OOC, the plot is elaborately put together but barely explained, nothing makes sense but it’s super fun and also hilarious. Plot: Will decides he’s sick of the FBI and takes his adopted daughter and TOTALLY platonic roommate (who he sleeps with and kisses with tongue) Hannibal Lecter across the country to take a job at the DEA. Hilarity ensues. 27k words, was updating every Sunday but I just posted the finale today.

Shatter Me (And Bring Me Together Again) - Kind of my pride and joy. For once I’m actually attempting to be good at writing fan fiction? Gasp. Also tons of head canons. Will and Hannibal are T4T. You cannot tell me otherwise. There’s a lot of metaphors in this too and like...an actual message. Just you wait, shit’s gonna go off the rails in the coming chapters. Synopsis: Years after the Fall, Will and Hannibal are working as international assassins until they realize someone is trying to kill them, and Alana and Margot. The four of them have to figure out who, but can they even trust each other? 7k words uploaded but 20k words written (and yet I haven’t even gotten to the core of the plot yet lmao), updates every Monday.

We’re Conjoined, I’m Curious Whether Either of Us Can Survive Separation - Weird, probably poorly written Hannibal short stories. Wrote a lot of these while severely concussed. You can probably tell. Enjoy. 4k uploaded but 31k written. Updates when I feel like it.

You Belong to Me - First Hannibal fan fiction I ever wrote. I had just started the show a week prior and I was coping hard. Didn’t have a good handle on the show, my head canons, or anything really so it’s not consistent with the rest of my writing. Poorly written but I actually think the plot is a bit compelling when you really get into it so...idk. Wrote the entire thing in three weeks (and had not finished s3 when I wrote it but I went back and rewrote some bits after finishing s3). Plot: It’s just the plot of the show completely rewritten. 44k words, completed.

This Is Home - Batfamily one shots. Started writing this during 2020, when I was 16, because I was coping immensely with some horrible shit going on in my life. I doubt I’ll ever update it and I even privated it for a while but it’s public again by popular demand. Who knows, maybe some day I’ll update it. Or at least upload what the rest of what I wrote for it. It’s not my best work and I’m not proud of it but it brought me comfort in one of the worst times of my life so, if you feel like that’s something you need, enjoy. 4k words uploaded, 14k words written. Updates probably never but maybe someday.

Future fics to look out for:

Fugu - A Hannibal fan fiction I wrote entirely while very drunk. I have no idea what happens in it because I’m too afraid to reread it but if I ever get up the nerve then I’ll post it. My roommate read it and says it’s fantastic but I don’t trust him. 14k words, completed.

Adam - Literally just rewriting the movie Adam because I’m autistic and I felt like it could've been better but it kinda turned into a Hannibal AU. 1k words currently but I’m still working on it for whatever reason.

Meat and Bonbons - Wip name lmao. Blood and Chocolate x Hannibal...crossover? AU? God only knows. Will is a comic artist from America researching Lithuanian werewolves (Vilkacis). Hannibal is a Lithuanian werewolf. They fall in love. 5k words, I’m working on it. I’ll probably start uploading chapters when I have around 10k words.

Oh and in case you’re wondering, in total I’ve written around 140k words of Hannibal fan fiction since I was introduced to it in October. No I’m not okay.

[omoghouls]

> Ocean is not an asshole and that’s important to me

Dying improves Ocean as a person. It is a major point in her character arc, that in death she has become a better person than she was in life but. Here’s the thing.

Ocean is continuously portrayed as self obsessed and as though she only likes the other choir members for the idea that they make her look better, bc of their perceived ‘inferiority,’ and I hate that sm, bc the way I perceived it she was never really selfish, as such- she just had a very specific idea of what she wanted to do with her life, and the means and academic (,if not emotional) intelligence to accomplish it.

(There’s a promo video in which Ocean says “look, I have a thirty year goal to be the first democratically elected prime minister of Canada” which literally makes me sob because. She never got to meet her thirty year goal-)

That, accompanied with her specific outlook on life, where she seems to base most of peoples worth off of academic achievement (shown in Karnaks joke abt her high grade point average being the reason she gets to have the final choice,) she comes across as self centred and that sort of thing.

She doesn’t really even improve that much, she just seemed to gain the emotional intelligence to comprehend and verbalise things she already sort of knew, and in death her conflicting personal morals (eg, the ‘and I am not even bragging about that bc that is against my Buddhist beliefs!’ speech) and views seem to solidify.

It’s why her having the ‘final say,’ but not being able to complete it (“you knew I wouldn’t be able to do it,” and the repeat of her “democracy rocks” catchphrase) is so important, because it’s when that reality of the choice she faces hits her.

Even if she does get closure, she has to choose between how she is perceived/the moral high ground, and the life she could have.

Given that she had her whole life planned out, having it not go that way must have been. Devastating on a scale I can’t even begin to imagine- especially bc the not going to plan, in this context, means ‘your life is on the line,’ and her having to pick between everything she’d ever known, and utter uncertainty- so again, moral high ground vs her life.

She picks moral high ground, in letting Jane/Penny return, despite how obviously it pains her to do so- which is why I hate sm when people disregard ‘every story has a lesson,’ bc sure, it’s a silly lighthearted song/scene, but it so clearly conveys so much about oceans character, in that she believes everything has to have meaning, and if she chooses to go back rather than letting Jane/Penny return, it nulls the meaning of Jane’s life, as she can’t remember it, and because her body was never claimed, nobody would remember it.

Also, if she voted for herself, Ocean would no longer be able to perceive herself as ‘a good person’ because of Ricky’s speech after SABM.

If she goes back, doing so will invalidate all the growth she goes through during the show- and adding onto song theme, every song in the musical is so important to me, because even the ‘silly ones’ have meaning- all the ones specially relating to ocean carry the central motif that everything Needs to have meaning.

Even in ‘the new birthday song,’ it’s shown again, in that Ocean sort of fabricates meaning for/humanises Jane, whereas before she’d only viewed her as ‘a freaky monster’ which made the choice that much harder, as her belief that she should be the one to go back started to become more unstable- and I see so many ppl hating every story has a lesson and the new birthday song and from like. An overall standpoint I can kind of understand it. But it makes me sad bc they’re so integral to ocean and her character arc !!

Also, all that aside, this is not a justification of some of the shit she says bc some of it is. Pretty fucked up- or at least, I disagree with the "her behaviour was understandable if you look hard and deep into her backstory and her parents and headcanon her certain ways, and therefore it was also okay,” because just bc smth is understandable and a valid reaction doesn't equal it being okay. Her behaviour is still shitty- which doesn't mean she is an Unforgivable Terrible Person. Like. the worst thing she's done is be kind of a bitch, vaguely ableist, very traumatised, and be dismissive of other people's feelings. Which like ????? She's a literal child! Depending on what part of the fandom you take your head cannons from, she is not even seventeen years old (or she’s closer to 18 but. i disagree with that timeline wise bc it doesn’t make sense in the overall plot)- but anyways. She’s a teenager!!! it’s normal to be a bit fucked up and have incorrect opinions- The point, for me is in that she learns and grows and starts seeing the humanity in others. And at the end she gives someone else a life at the cost of her own! That's a big deal! It shows she's grown and learned to see other people's humanity and treat them better, even if that doesn't get her what she wants. So. Yeah. Ocean is not an asshole. And that’s important.

- 🎢

Literally kissing you directly on the face MY GOD THIS IS SO GOOD AN AMAZING ANALYSIS OF HER ANNDJEJEIIWNWNWBSNDJDJ

And the end! Yes!! She's literally just a teenager, teenagers are growing, they've barley just left their childhood, ofc their view points are gonna be a bit skewed, they're growing!!! Even during the course of being in that limbo area, Ocean grows a lot, she gains different perspectives, something needed to grow!!!

[magnus-sm-writes]

May 10k Update 2

Keeping with the theme of “Magnus is an absolute machine when it comes to hitting word count”, this is the next 10k upd8! (Yes, that is the document title; no, I will not be acknowledging the Homestuck reference after this.)

I wrote around 5,000 words in two days, which is… nigh unheard of. I haven’t recorded hitting numbers like this since 2020. Admittedly, I don’t think I’ve been recording my frantic rewrites like this since 2020, but, you know, specifics. It turns out that keeping meticulous track of everything I write (other than fanfiction, but I would like to say that it would double my word count, as it is my “low pressure” work) motivates me more than pretty much anything else. My Aries (AuDHD) brain loves concrete markers of my achievements. What is more concrete than a number of everything I write? 

The reason I’ve been “frantically rewriting” is because there’s a pretty promising sci-fi themed anthology I wanted to submit to that had a due date of May 15. Mind you, this rewrite started on May 7. I gave myself five days to finish, polish, name, and overall perfect this story. And then I found out I misread the entry in Author’s Publish and the submission window actually opened on May 15.

This story, which I’ve been posting snippets of to my Instagram story (magnus_sm.writes, shameless self-promo, just the way I like it), was originally unnamed when I began the rewrite. After carefully combing through the list of potential names for future works I keep (of mild to intense slappage), I finally decided to name it “Certain Boundaries” instead of just calling it “The AI Story”.

I’ve mentioned “Certain Boundaries” before, briefly. It’s a story that uses the fear of the doppelgänger. I was inspired by Ex Machina, all the doppelgänger theory I had to read for my capstone project, and the uncanny valley, which I also had to research for my capstone project.

(I could speak for hours about the uncanny valley. It doesn’t really work on me, because I’m face blind. I can’t really recognize when a face is “wrong” because I have a pretty loose grasp of what a face should look like. The uncanny valley only works on me with movement. When something moves wrong, I can identify it. Otherwise, I’m left confused as to why others are uncomfortable.)

Honestly, “Certain Boundaries” is a bit like a more sci-fi version of my capstone project, Body. I absolutely adore that. There are certain themes that pop up a lot in my work, and the doppelgänger is one of them.

In “Certain Boundaries”, we follow Basil, a programmer who is at a fancy event, and completely not into it. When he meets a perfect double of himself in his boss’ house, he’s left terrified by the implication.

Basil is a strange combination of Caleb from Ex Machina, Mark Zuckerberg from The Social Network, myself, and Waylon Park from Outlast: Whistleblower. He’s nervous, autistic, socially-inept. Dare I say he’s similar to me at my worst. 

Iskos is similar to Basil. He’s meant to be. I’d compare him to Data from Star Trek (my beloved), Ash from that episode of Black Mirror, and every person I mentioned in Basil’s section. I love Iskos for how much of himself that Basil sees in him, for how strange he is compared to Basil, how their bodies contrast. 

When they stand together, Basil and Iskos look like twins. Better than twins; perfect doubles. It’s uncanny. Ha.

Here’s a little excerpt from the beginning:

Diana has dressed up her Hawiian shirt with a blazer and matching slacks. She zeroes in on him with a smile. An errant fingerprint on her glasses smudges one of her eyes. “Basil, so nice to see you’ve attended tonight. We can’t do this without our junior-senior programmer.” It's a weird joke between them, the junior-senior thing. Basil is the most junior of the senior programmers.

I spent a lot of time writing various introductions for my blog. May has been a month of retrospection for me. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my work this year just because I’m really trying to focus on publication and understanding my own work. That, and I’m an attention whore. I mean, hello, I have two different social medias where I pretty much exclusively talk about my reading and writing. What screams “attention whore” like that?

I began to write an introduction for Experiment #24. Experiment #24, or X, is the character I mention the most. He began as a D&D character, because again, I am nothing if not predictable. Regardless of that, X is my son. He’s me. 

I’ve also got some introductions for the rest of the Greenest boys, Penny and Mavuto from Double-Trickery, and Double-Trickery itself. 

Mostly, I’m trying to understand my characters so I can better describe them. I can get a little confused with character arcs and whether they feel natural, and I think this is a good way for me to reflect on that. And, of course, to share them with the world!

Yesterday, though, I was working toward one of my goals for the month: writing for Greenest. Greenest does have an introduction up (shameless self-promo part 2).

The hardest part of writing Greenest for me is getting Valor’s character down. He’s so different from how he is in Of Valor & Honor. This Valor has Seen Some Shit, and it’s difficult to write that in the early chapters of Greenest before Experiment #24 comes along. Valor has a lot of trauma responses that are very different from how I deal with trauma (oversharing) that make it hard to write for him. He doesn’t share what’s wrong; he keeps it all inside. In addition to that, he’s got a lot of strange habits from being a soldier and then a mercenary that I have to keep balanced.

In conclusion, Valor is a tough guy, and I am objectively not that. 

Most of my male characters are very much like myself: open, emotional, chatty. Sigma and Mavuto are prime examples of that. Sigma was socialized around only women, so he has a lot of traits (emotionality, communication) that reflect that upbringing. Mavuto has spent half of his life around faeries, who don’t really have a concept of hiding their emotions unless they’re manipulating someone. 

Valor isn’t like that. He’s very Classically Masculine™, and with that includes an element of repressing himself. Not in the same way that Penny represses himself, either, because it’s far easier to get into Penny’s head. I think it’s because Penny has someone to open up to that makes him easier to write than Valor. Valor has nobody. He purposefully isolates himself from everyone. Classic.

Regardless of that issue I had, I think I portrayed Sigma’s childlike joy about being able to see the outside world well. Here’s one of my favorite moments from the scene!

They come closer to the heart of the village. Instead of the heart of a living being, the core of the village thrums with different smells and people. Painted wooden signs hang from buildings advertising their wares. The air smells of fire from crackling hearths, bread from a nearby bakery, bodies mingling.

Poetry

I’ve nearly met my goal of writing four poems this month. One of them is a haiku about spring, because I was quite happy to see all the flowers this month. The next was a sort of sad poem called “Father, I am sorry”, a companion poem to “Mother, I am sorry”. Because I’m full of guilt.

Then I got really excited thinking about Greenland sharks and how cool they are, because Greenland sharks kick major ass. 10/10, excellent shark, no notes. Miniskirt Mag is considering doing a shark week issue, so if that happens, you know I’m submitting my ode to the Greenland shark. And even if they don’t end up with that theme, I hope my poem can find a home elsewhere. It brought me a lot of joy to write.

I’ve currently borrowed a couple poetry books from the library with the hopes that they absolutely slap and give me the power to write more poetry myself. 

Editing

I have rewritten two short stories so far: “Certain Boundaries” and “The Boy & the Hag Stone”. I’m thrilled about that, personally. Those do add to my word count, as those are rewrites. 

One thing I can’t add to my word count, though, is my current line edit of “Plastic Fangs”. Most of the time, line editing subtracts words, as I’m making the story tighter. I’m already down about a hundred words so far. Fingers crossed that this round of edits is the final one!