#✧･ﾟ⊹ astra writes 📖

[tearsofastraeax]

simon is the type of guy to come up behind you while you're standing in the kitchen, his hands traveling over your hips right to your ass, his hands grabbing your cheeks and giving them a squeeze

"hmmmm, that ass," he sighs into your neck.

"simon....", you chastise him, clearly busy, your hands full, the water nearly overcooking, and the heat from the stove making you sweat.

you notice him step away a bit, but his hands don't leave your ass, giving it a little jiggle instead.

you hear his breathy laugh behind you, "sorry, babe, but these cheeks were calling to me, they miss me"

[d1rlin]

☆﹔Fairytale themed pronouns

﹐castle/castles/castleself﹒princess/princesses/princesself

﹐prince/princes/princeself﹒story/storys/storyself

﹐page/pages/pageself﹒word/words/wordself

﹐forest/forests/forestself﹒fairy/fairies/fairyself﹒faer/faers/faeself

﹐myth/myths/mythself﹒tale/tales/taleself﹒fable/fables/fableself

﹐tiara/tiaras/tiaraself﹒royalty/royaltys/royaltyself﹒tower/towers/towerself

﹐damsel/damsels/damselself﹒wand/wands/wandself﹒dragon/dragons/dragonself

﹐dwarf/dwarves/dwarfself﹒elf/elves/elfself﹒Knights/knightself

﹐Dark/darks/darkself﹒Astra/astras/astraself﹒Book/books/bookself

﹐Quill/quills/quillself﹒Ink/inks/inkself﹒Write/write(r)s/write(r)self

﹐Page/pages/pageself﹒Poet/poets/poetself﹒Poet(ry)/poetrys/poetryself

﹐Pen/pens/penself﹒Pen(cil)/pencils/pencilself﹒Study/studys/studyself

﹐Read/reads/readself﹒Word/words/wordself﹒Night/nights/nightself

﹐Star/stars/starself﹒Quiet/quiets/quietself﹒Soft/softs/softself

﹐tired/tireds/tiredself﹒📖/📖s/📖self﹒🖊/🖊s/🖊self

﹐tired/tireds/tiredself﹒☕️/☕️s/☕️self﹒⚰️/⚰️s/⚰️self

﹐🍁/🍁s/🍁self﹒🍂/🍂s/🍂self﹒💼/💼s/💼self

﹐📜/📜s/📜self﹒🕯/🕯s/🕯self﹒🕰/🕰s/🕰self

﹐🧳/🧳s/🧳self﹒🏰/🏰s/🏰self﹒🎠/🎠s/🎠self

﹐🪄/🪄’s/🪄self

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢

☆﹔Fairy themed pronouns

﹐moss/mosses/mosself﹒shroom/shrooms/shroomself﹒bloom/blooms/bloomself

﹐dust/dusts/dusts/dustself﹒spring/springs/springself﹒dew/dews/dewself

﹐shine/shines/shineself﹒fay/fays/fayself﹒fae/faes/faeself

﹐elf/elves/elfself﹒flower/flowers/flowerself﹒honey/honeys/honeyself

﹐sprite/sprites/spriteself﹒fae/faen/faenself﹒aos/aes/aeself

﹐wing/wings/wingself﹒seelie/seelies/seelieself﹒unseelie/unseelies/unseelieself

﹐changeling/changelings/changelingself﹒iron/irons/ironself﹒charm/charms/charmself

﹐rowan/rowans/rowanself﹒magic(k)/magic(k)s/magic(k)self﹒spell/spells/spellself

﹐little/littles/littleself﹒hidden/hiddens/hiddenself﹒brownie/brownies/brownieself

﹐tree/trees/treeself﹒🧚/🧚’s/🧚self﹒🪴/🪴’s/🪴self﹒⚙️/⚙️’s/⚙️self

[tearsofastraeax]

I just can't stop thinking about obsessive!Simon, like he's so insanely in love with you, he'd kill for you, he'd do anything for you.

once a guy looked at you the wrong way and he dragged him off to some dark alley. all you could hear were scared little wimpers and rough grunts, before he emerged out of the shadows with blood dripping off his fists.

when your eyes drifted off and accidentally landed on some random man in the bar, you had to physically hold Simon back so he wouldn't beat the shit out of him.

he buys you flowers, little gifts, candy, and anything else that you mentioned once in passing; he gets it for you. he just wants to spoil you rotten. his favourite is when you get all excited and have that big smile on your face as he hands over the gifts. seeing you like that, he falls all over again.

[tearsofastraeax]

thinking about simon growing out his beard. you want to love it but you just can't because every time you kiss him his scruff scratches your skin. 'stay away from me, you're too fucking scratchy!' you exclaim as you try to run from him. 

but simon has other plans for you, he stalks behind you, slower than you, knowing he'll eventually catch up to you. a predator stalking his prey. 

and he does, one moment you slam the bedroom door behind you, trying to think where to escape next, and the next he grips you by the waist, throwing you on the bed. you squeal in response, giggling under your breath. but all the fight ebbs out of you when you catch a glimpse of simon. he looks like he's about to eat you whole. 

he prances toward you, slowly crawling over the mattress toward you, grabbing your legs roughly and shoving them apart to make space for his large frame. he doesn't say a word as he strips you of your clothes. the only thing he lets slip is the way his breathing grows more and more labored, the way his eyes roam over you with a mischievous glint in them. 

he starts his torture on your right ankle, pressing sweet and gentle kisses on it, before he drags his face across your skin, the stubble irritating you and making you squirm, trying to get out of his hold on you. you scream, but laughter breaks through as you look down at him. 

'simon, please, you're torturing me', you press out, barely able to contain yourself as he continues to pepper your leg with kisses and gentle strokes of his stubble over your sensitive skin. your exclamation prompts a smirk to spread over his lips. what an evil man. 

he continues his torture, till he reaches your inner thighs and your squeals turn to soft little moans. at the sound of them, he gets motivated. so, simon licks and kisses and drags his goddamn beard over your sensitive skin, till he reaches your throbbing clit. making you scream and moan and curse him to the gods. 

when you cum on his tongue, whimpering his name, only then does he stop the mind-shattering torture. you barely have a chance to look down at him, resting between your legs, looking like he just worshipped you, with a satisfied little smile on his face. your skin looks red and puffy, sensitive from the torment you had to endure. 

'not gonna tell me to stay away from you again, are you?!' he exclaims, pressing sweet and gentle kisses to your abused skin. you can barely hum in agreement, too spent from the sinful pleasure. 

[tearsofastraeax]

Sometimes Simon comes back home from one of his missions in the middle of the night, when you're already fast asleep.

Only when you wake up the next morning, sunlight streaming through the windows, a soft snoring next to you, do you notice his presence. A broad smile stretches across your lips, these sure are your favourite mornings.

You slowly turn toward him, he looks so peaceful when he sleeps, so innocent even. Not at all like the usually so broody man at your side.

Inching closer to him, you start to pepper sweet little kisses over his skin. Starting on his broad shoulders, tracing the dips and valleys of his body, the faint scars adorning his skin.

Eventually, you reach the crook of his neck, slowly moving upward and over his face. Pressing kisses to his cheeks, moving to the tip of his nose and finally his lips. By that time Simon stirred beneath you, his eyes fluttering open, a smile spreading across his lips, and returning your kiss.

"Good morning, my love", his deep raspy voice cut in. His arms wrapped around you and you laid your head on his chest, enjoying the feeling of his body pressed into yours. You could spend the whole day like this, laying in bed with him, touching him, feeling him, knowing that he's made it back to you once more.

[tearsofastraeax]

Simon loves when you wear skirts, actually scratch that, he's obsessed with you wearing them.

So naturally, you had to surprise him. You picked out one of his favourite dainty little skirts, flowing freely around your body and ending mid-thigh. You were so excited to surprise him you felt little butterflies in your stomach.

The 141 just had a two day training session behind them, everyone sprawled upon chairs and couches in various stages of exhaustion when you arrived. You hadn't seen Simon since he left yesterday morning, his promise to come back to you as fast as he could still lingering in your mind.

But this morning, instead of waiting for him to come to you, you were ready to poke the monster. So there you were, standing in the doorway, a sweet smile plastered across your lips. Price saw you first, ever the attentive captain. He nudged Ghost, whose tired eyes slowly moved to you. When he saw you, you could see the shock written across his features. The hunger.

It took him less than 30 seconds to excuse himself from the team and be at your side. He barely even said hello before he dragged you along, his hand tightly wound around your arm.

You ended up in some random storage room, the first unlocked door Simon could find. And this time it took him even less time to have you bend over, revealing you to him and how you'd deliberately chosen to not wear any underwear today. Your glistening cunt on full display in front of him. He let out a raspy moan behind you, his fingers finding your clitoris and slowly circling it.

His throbbing cock pushed between your ass cheeks, rubbing along your wet folds and finally sinking home into your warm hole. He fucked you so hard you were sure the team heard everything.

When he found his release in you, mere second after you had reached yours, he let his body rest on top of you. Pressing soft kisses to your back, your shoulders, your neck.

"Hi baby, I missed you ...", Simon whispered, a breathy chuckle escaping him.

✧ check out my masterlist for more ✧

[tearsofastraeax]

cw: ooops i might hafe felt a lil angsty, please don't hate me, also sorry in advance

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

your heart beat heavily in your chest as you stepped up to the bar the 141 usually hung out in after returning from their missions. the pit in your stomach had been sitting there for 3 weeks now, ever since you had that fight with simon. the whole way to the bar you had tried to convince yourself it wasn't as bad as you thought that you were just being your typical overthinking self, that he didn't hate you and it was just a stupid old fight, nothing to worry about. no, not at all. he would be excited to see you barge in through the doors and welcome you with open arms. after all, you haven't seen each other for a while now.

as you stared down at the street, your feet slowly carrying you towards your destination, you tried to remember what you had even fought about. it was some stupid misunderstanding, but simon had been so agitated, you were at a loss, couldn't get a second in to explain yourself.

"just go, please. i'm so done with hearing your excuses", he had muttered for the third time. 

and while you were desperate enough to try again the first two times, your self-respect was still intact enough for you to take the hint. so you had left. 

you were only able to contact him again days later, right before he had to leave on his mission. back then all he had said was for you to not worry about it.

and you had tried. you had tried your best. but the worries were eating you alive, so much so that you decided to surprise him. or ambush him? did he even want you there? was he excited to see you?

before you knew it, you arrived at the bar. your eyes frantically searching for the guys through the window, hoping to get a feel of the situation before you just barged in.

and there they were, gaz and soap laughing about one thing or the other, beers in their hand and standing close to price, who was as calm and collected as ever, as he sat on one of the bar stools, nursing on his pint.

but what made your heart skip a beat, your stomach fill with a heavy stone, weighing you down, and your hands getting clammy by just the sight of it, was simon. who so very casually leaned against the bar, a beer in the one hand and the other wrapped around some pretty blonde thing, that cozied up into his side and giggled at his jokes and remarks.

you weren't sure you could even belief your eyes. was this actually happening to you? was he that done with you? had you been too dumb to catch on to him wanting to break up with you? what had happened to the 'it's always gonna be you'? what had happened to the 'you're my calm'?

your stomach turned around at what you saw. your heart heavy and empty. a cold nausea drifted through your body like you had never experienced before.

and then his eyes met yours.

[tearsofastraeax]

a/n: i fear i might have made it worse, i promise it will get better... actually, nvm i can't promise anything, so sorry in advance :)

cw: angst, very angsty angst

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

what you saw in his eyes felt like he ripped open your chest, violently split apart your ribs, took his gigantic hand and ripped your heart out. 

but the breathtaking smile on his lips was what sealed your fate. what threw your heart on the ground and trampled on it. 

how dare him? how fucking dare him that he smiled at you while he was breaking your fucking heart to pieces. 

you were frozen in place, like the world around you started to move twice its normal speed, and you slowed down. slowed down so much so that the mist of your warm breath against the window spread out in slow motion. your clammy hands fiddled with the hem of your winter coat. your throat felt dry. your eyes burning. 

and suddenly the world seemed to spin again. simon directed his gentle smile at the blonde in his arms. the same one that leaned in now, angled her head up and smirked at him. 

your feet started carrying you on their own accord. the ice that crept through your veins carried a gentle calm with it. 

several pairs of eyes turned toward you as you stepped into the warmth of the bar. but you couldn't even focus on them, your gaze locked on simon. 

"y/n", was all he could mutter, when he turned to you. 

he stepped closer to you, letting go of the blonde - much to her discontent - and reached out an arm. 

coolly, you noticed how it was the same one that he had just wrapped around the other woman. 

"don't touch me, simon." 

your voice came out weak, barely a whisper. but it seemed to hit him like a punch in the face. his eyes scanned your face for what felt the first time. 

in your peripheral view you could barely make out the blonde stepping up behind simon, like his dandy little thing that needed protection. you saw soap and gaz regarding you with wary eyes, their eyebrows nearly touching their hairline in confusion. the only one reasonable as always was price, one hand on simon’s shoulder, his calm eyes taking in the situation unfolding in front of him. 

the acid in your stomach rose up, your face pulling into a bitter laugh, but barely a sound escaped as you watched on as simon’s hand blocked the woman from you. was he trying to protect her? 

what the actual hell was happening? what kind of sick twisted nightmare had you stepped into? 

“you shouldn’t have come here.”

the words rang in your ear. you could barely register simon’s lips moving, his voice echoing on and on. your lips trembled. the colour draining off your face. your heart sank into your stomach. 

you shouldn’t have come here? you? 

you felt like your world was being torn to shreds right in front of you, for everyone to see. humiliation, anger and a never-ending pit of hopelessness spread throughout you. letting numbness settle deep within. 

your eyes met his again. the intensity that had pulled you in before, now made you feel sick to your stomach. 

how could he? 

you tried to grasp for something to say, something to do. but there was nothing. so, you did the only sensible thing in a situation where you clearly weren't wanted. you turned around and you left. 

"wait, you don't understand", a desperate plea reached your ears, his voice gruff. 

what could you have possibly misunderstood? the way he had smiled at the woman? the way he had so publicly rejected you? the way he hadn't even for a smidge of a second considered how you must have felt. 

"let her go, simon", price rough tone cut into the heavy atmosphere in the room. 

it was all you could focus on, on your way out. price's words wrapping around you like a safety blanket and carrying you out of the nightmare, and into the freezing cold. 

[tearsofastraeax]

just thinking about you and Simon enjoying your day off at home together. you notice him looking at you out of the corner of your eye, so you turn to him, staring right back, ready to fight, or at least pretend till he lets you win. 'what?', you demand. but he just smiles at you, and tells you how much he loves you :((

[tearsofastraeax]

a/n: (un)intentionally turning this into an ode to price, but who can blame me??! anyways, enjoy and yesssss, simon will suffer, you just wait :)

cw: angst, angst and some more angst

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

you shouldn’t have come here.

how the hell could he? 

your emotions felt like an inferno inside you, one that consumed you whole. it left behind nothing but a path of destruction; from every cell of your being, right to your heart. disbelief had turned to confusion, had turned to a pitiful sadness, had turned to hot burning anger. the cocktail of emotions stirring you on in your path. 

where you were going you didn’t even know. nor did you know how far you had walked. your surroundings nothing but a blur of colours. 

the never-ending cycle of scenario after scenario, thought after thought, made your mind spin. 

a gruff laugh took you by surprise and strong arms wrapped around your waist. the soft summer breeze ebbed through your apartment. simon’s face pressed into your neck, so lovingly, so possessively. “so beautiful.” back then you had giggled, twisting around in his arms till you could look at him. your eyes getting lost in the endless depths of his. “i will keep you forever, luv”

now you were left with nothing but a cruel laugh that bubbled up in your throat. the sound that escaped a guttural, angry mess. 

slowly your feet stopped moving in their tracks. exhaustion covering you like a heavy blanket. your breath heavy and strangled, as it escaped into the frozen air in tiny clouds. 

for the first time since that fight - it felt so long ago now, decades, millennia - tears prickled your eyes. falling in fat drops down your cheeks and leaving burning paths behind. 

your mind was spinning out of control, faster and faster. so much so that the approaching footsteps didn’t even register as a threat anymore. 

a deep, rumbling voice cut through the noise. 

your body went rigid, immediately turning to the source. you must have looked like a rabid animal, expression wild, eyes bloodshot.

“darlin'?” price's gentle voice disrupted the war in your mind. 

you couldn't help the nasty snarl spreading over your features. what did he think he was doing here? following you? feeling sorry for you? now that his dear friend had ripped you to shreds in front of a whole crowd of people? 

at the cruel reminder, a punishingly cold shame washed over you, the nasty feeling making your insides churn. 

"go away, john." your angry words were broken up by the overbearing violence of a sob that rang through your whole body, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. 

you couldn't stand him seeing you like this. not after everything he already had to witness. none of them had cared enough to stop simon from this in the first place. so why would he suddenly develop sympathy for you? why would he care now?

"not much for taking orders, doll. but i’ll stand far enough back that you don’t feel like decking me", he teased, a soft smile pulling on his lips. 

at first it didn't even register, though slowly but surely your eyes met his. the flicker of something more than endless sorrow spiking in your heart, bubbling up your throat and escaping as a honest to god laugh through your lips. 

"that smile suits you much better, darling."

carefully, as if he was approaching a wild animal, price slowly stepped towards your cowering form. his hands slightly raised, as to appear as nonthreatening as he could be, this bear of a man, a captain in the fucking military. if you had a better sense of humour right then, you'd probably have laughed at the pure ridiculousness of it all. but you didn't. instead, your lips pulled down into a frown, and your eyes took price in warily. 

"let's get you home, yea?" a cautious little smile played around price's lips as he regarded you. it almost felt like he saw right past your guarded edges, and somehow, that made it worse.

"why?"

your voice carried so much venom, you were surprised the man didn't just turn around and leave you alone in the dark. 

"why the fuck are you even here?" the tone of your voice rose and rose, till you found yourself screaming at price. tears prickled your eyes, and your throat felt rough from all the emotions of the night. 

"simon doesn't know what's good for him if it punched him in the face. doesn't mean you deserve this." 

his serious eyes looked right into your soul, reaching in and seeing the deepest darkest depths. inside you were battling with yourself, unsure if you could handle someone so close to him comforting you. someone that shouldn't even be in your corner right now. 

"let me at least take you home, darling. afterwards you never have to see me again, if that’s what you want." 

you couldn't even begin to untangle the weight behind those words. this lifeline wasn't meant to be there, it wasn't meant for you. 

but you'd be damned if you wouldn't take it. 

ever so slowly and carefully price reached out his hand in invitation.

and for the first time, you reached back.

taglist: @rafaelacallinybbay @fruitymoonbeams-blog @jdeclerc @valuyhh

[tearsofastraeax]

hello, i hope u’re doin okay 🫶 i wanted to ask you could u write smth where we have an age gap in our relationship w Simon (legal ofccc) and we’re a bit scared of 141’s reactions ? thank u sm even if u don’t feel like writing this <3

hi, hun. hope you enjoy ♡

⊹ simon riley never made a big deal about you being younger than him. he rather adored how sweet and innocent you were for him. he loved to have you by his side, and so he suggested you’d meet the 141. you were nervous, you weren’t bad with new people, that wasn’t it. but you couldn't stop thinking about what they might think, these guys were such an important part of simon's life, you wouldn't be able to handle it if they didn't like you. and what did your relationship look like to them? him being the older guy that spoils you and you being the bratty younger plaything? they probably wouldn't even take you seriously, maybe they’d see you as just another stupid girl. 

but simon was persuasive, he knew how to convince you to do his bidding. he trailed sweet kisses down your neck, whispering into your warm skin. 'they'll adore you, my love’, he'd say. his hands wandering from your waist to your hips, grabbing you in the sweetest way he could, just hardly leaving bruises behind. 'please come with me, just meet them.' he punctuated his words with a nip on your neck, his teeth grazing your skin, leaving a faint mark behind. you sucked in a low breath, hardly able to focus. his skilful fingers winding their way around your thighs, massaging them, and ever so slowly moving toward your throbbing core. 'trust me, love.' he captured your lips with his, pulling you into a dizzying kiss that left you breathless. you could only nod, barely able to register what you were agreeing to. 

            ⊹ so, the day came when you would meet the guys. with simon at your side, you stepped into the bar everyone had agreed to meet. your heart was beating so wildly in your chest that you were sure everyone would know just how nervous you were by just looking at you. but against your best beliefs, it was nothing like it. first, you met gaz or kyle, how he had introduced himself. oh, and how happy you were he was the first one of the bunch. with his easy smiles, he made you feel so at comfortable. so much so, that it barely shook you when you met the stoic captain price next. thankfully, the short-lived introduction was interrupted by no one other than soap, who with no time to spare swept you up to join him at the bar and ‘get fucking drunk, bonnie’. 

a few drinks and a couple of shots later you couldn't stop yourself, your brain-to-mouth filter having stopped working approximately 3 drinks ago. so you blurted out, 'I'm so happy that you guys like me, you know, I was kind of scared that you would think it's weird that simon and I have such an age gap.' you smiled shyly, immediately regretting even saying anything at all when everyone became a bit quieter than before. now you had ruined it. 

but instead, a low chuckle turned into a laugh. 'no, no, see we're happy for the old man here, getting some fresh meat', soap exclaimed, earning more laughter from the guys and you. except for simon who looked like he was ready to pounce on the poor guy. 

[tearsofastraeax]

a/n: we're back again with a new part and honestly you guys aren't ready for what i still have in store. but i love a good slow burn, so you still have to suffer a bit <3

cw: once again, this shit angsty

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

the first thing you noticed as your consciousness clawed its way back to reality was the complete emptiness of the room. the cold ebbing in and covering you in the stark reminder of your loneliness. 

ever so slowly you took stock of the aftermath of last night. your eyes felt puffy. your throat dry and scratchy. your limbs weak. and for the cherry on top, a nauseating headache was threatening to split your head apart. 

begrudgingly you opened your eyes to another bleak, grey sky. 

the events of last night didn’t even feel real. your body felt so numb to it all. the only constant reminder was the heavy feeling in your stomach, the one that showed up three weeks ago and only got heavier after you saw him with her. 

your self-pity was quickly interrupted by the painfully shrill ringing of your phone. carefully you grabbed it from your nightstand. but when you saw the name flashing on it you could have emptied your stomach right then and there. 

simon. 

fuck him and fuck that. 

you certainly weren’t in the mood or mind to entertain him. nor did you really care for his excuses and explanations. so, after you hung up on him you scrolled through your messages. 

it started at 5am sharp. 

‘luv, please let me explain’ 

‘i’m so sorry, it’s not what you think’ 

‘please get back to me, i just need to explain’ 

the last one just read: ‘please’

a deep sigh escaped your lips before you clicked on ‘block caller���. a cruel kind of satisfaction spread through you at that. 

even if you’d rather spend the whole day lying in bed feeling sorry for yourself, you didn’t want to be that person anymore. you didn’t just want things to happen to you anymore. it was time to take your life into your own hands and stay far away from men. 

or at least that's what you thought. because you had barely finished your morning routine, stretching it out for good measure, pampering yourself to feel a shred of control again, when you heard a knock on the door. 

you looked in the mirror one more time, your pep talk for the day trailing off into a pathetically weak smile. 

when you opened the door the first thing you noticed was the overwhelming assault on your senses. too many bright colours and an intense smell at the forefront of it all. 

you readied yourself to dish out a bunch of curse words for the flowery invasion at 8 in the god damn morning but swallowed back the remarks when the sheepish smile of the delivery driver peaked out behind the too big bouquet. 

“hi, i have a delivery for miss …”, he trailed off, frantically looking around for a card to ease the awkwardness. 

deciding to not let your sour mood cloud the day of innocent people, you reached out a helping hand. snatching the small card out in between the flowers. your chest burned just looking at it. 

“it’s fine. can you just throw those away?” 

your voice was a mangled little thing. but the violence with which you closed the door in the poor guy's face felt like a shock to your system. 

you felt as if a million little needles stabbed your too tender skin, over and over again, every time that you heard from him. 

why couldn't he just leave you alone? why did he have to torture you like this? 

a gut-wrenching sob wrecked your body, your legs slowly giving up. you slid down along the cold surface of the door, landing in a pile of bitterness and heartbreak on the floor. how much lower would you be pushed? 

would it ever end? 

with shaking fingers and a blurred vision, you reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone. it barely took a minute before you had unblocked simon and send off a much too reasonable text considering the circumstances. 

'fuck off, simon. leave me alone.' 

you immediately blocked him again, and for good measure, let the tears take over. 

grief washed over you and draped you in an all too familiar blanket. wrapping you in its cold embrace. making your lips tremble and your sobs violently shake your entire body. 

hours could have passed by for all you knew. the emptiness never left. it only grew heavier in your stomach, making a home for itself there. clawing and digging in till you were sure it would leave irreversible damage. 

the soft sound of an incoming message made you tense up. your eyes immediately searching for your phone. 

the betrayal was immense, the wish for it to be him so deep rooted and pathetic, you felt bile rise in your throat. 

instead, you saw a message from john price. 

'morning, darling. just wanted to check on you - anything you need, i’m here'

instead of throwing your phone at the wall in a fit of rage you did the only sensible thing you could in that moment, you turned it off. 

maybe one day a shred of peace would find you. 

taglist: @rafaelacallinybbay @fruitymoonbeams-blog @jdeclerc @valuyhh @galactict3a @etotruski

[tearsofastraeax]

soft!Simon 'Ghost' Riley headcanons + 1 dirty lil extra

Simon coming home from a mission and being a big ol' softie. pulling you in for cuddles and kissing you all over. he proceeds to not leave your side for the next two days, he just missed you so much 

Every morning you wake up with the fresh smell of coffee in your nose. Simon gets up before you just so he can make that bean water shit for you. he complains in length about how he hates that shit and that it smells like death incarnated, but you know he just does it for dramatic effect, in reality he'd do anything for you

Simon kissing you breathless the first time he is separated from you for more than two weeks. he holds on to you so tightly, as if he's afraid you'll disappear right out of his arms 

Sleepy Simon lazily fucking you in the morning, still half asleep, morning wood pressing into your back. he pulls you in, barely manages to pull your underwear to the side before he slips into your warmth. he is too tired to keep up any sense of self control, so for once you hear his breathless moans in your ear, there is no better way to wake up 

You're feeling a bit under the weather, so Simon makes it his mission to take care of you, and he takes it very serious. bringing you tea and soup, and giving you forehead kisses. scolding you when you decide to rummage around the kitchen for some snacks, letting you know that your job is to rest and fussing around is his. when you fall asleep on the couch he covers you with a blanket and while you’re sleeping he makes you a little fruit plate, 'because its important to eat your vitamins when you're sick, love' 

Simon seeing you in that new little black dress you bought, that barely covers your ass. he wastes no time to bend you over and fuck your brains out. doesn't matter you're in the common rooms of 141. doesn't even matter soap just walked into the room and right back out again. all he needs is to claim you, and make you feel how hard you make his cock 

[tearsofastraeax]

something, something.. simon starting off with paying for your nails, sending you off every couple weeks with way too many bills in your pocket and a promise to treat yourself. then he starts getting involved in what kind of color and design you get, getting way to invested in the seasonal themes and aaaall the possibilities. till one day you manage to drag him with you. he looks so out of place in your usual nail shop, your sweet nail designer kind of scared of him, till you tell her to just not pay him any mind. it takes you at least 3 more times of him joining till you manage to bully him into sitting in the chair as well. next time when he's back on base everyone tries to give him shit for the little pink heart on his ring finger. but he couldn't care less, all he had to think about was his girl at home, happier than ever and with a matching heart on her nails.

[tearsofastraeax]

a/n: guys, sorry for letting you wait this long, but i'm back with the next update and what can i say, i started listening to lana del rey again so i will only be getting more dramatic from here on out

cw: we've been through this before, it's angsty, and maybe morally questionable

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

over the course of the next week, you dodged bullets left and right. mostly in the form of stupid presents, flowers and tacky cards announcing how sorry simon was. every single one ended up in the trash.

it didn't get easier. especially with these constant reminders thrown at you. a few days ago, you had even considered taking off a couple days from work and just booking a flight to somewhere, anywhere really, just to get some semblance of peace. 

he'd probably still find you though. 

you snorted at the thought, how wonderful. would you be tortured by your ex-boyfriend for the rest of your days? 

you tried to clear your head, your feet dragging you towards to bar you were planning to meet a friend of yours. even though you'd rather just wrap yourself in a blanket and not leave the house for the foreseeable future, your friend had made a great point by dragging you out. nothing would get better by wallowing in self-pity. 

as you cautiously stepped into the bar, you scanned the room, there were a couple of groups of people already gathered around tables, but you couldn't see your friend yet.

so, you stepped over to the bar and decided to order a drink already, you certainly needed it. you ditched your coat and plopped down on one of the bar stools. 

as you waited, you mindlessly scrolled through your phone, watching the minutes slowly dragging by, no sign of your friend yet. maybe you should have just stayed at home after all. 

your thoughts slowly began to wander again, but just in that moment the door of the bar opened, and a cool rush of air enveloped you. a smile spread over your features as your eyes lifted to the door. but just as quickly as your expression had lit up, it dropped again. 

it wasn't your friend standing in the door. it was john price, out of all people. 

your eyes darted from him to the space behind him, barely able to see if anyone was behind him, his wide body nearly blocking out the whole view. you readied yourself to search for an emergency exit in the back or hide in the bathroom for the next hours. 

as he stepped through the door and it fell closed behind him, a breath you didn't realize you were holding escaped you. he was alone.

in the next moment though his eyes caught yours, surprise crossed his features before a sheepish smile dragged his lips upward. 

you didn't know what to do so you just ended up staring at him like some kind of idiot, while he walked over to you. he sat down at the bar, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of ease as he regarded you with those warm eyes. 

"'ello doll. fine seeing you 'ere, how have ya been?" his gruff voice wrapped you in a haze. 

you couldn't help the slight tug of your lips as you watched him. 

"are you stalking me? simon send you after me now?" your voice carried more anger than you had planned, it was supposed to be a bit of a joke, though when you thought about it, you wouldn't put it past him. 

"simon sending... - what? doll, i wouldn't stalk you or nothin' like that. i can leave, ya know, i'm sorry if i was bothering you." 

he made to get up, but before you could think about it you grabbed his arm. he halted immediately. your eyes zeroed in on where you had made contact with him. the soft fabric of his shirt and the straining muscles hiding beneath it. 

you barely snapped out of your haze, dropping your hand and regarding him with an apologetic smile. 

"sorry, i didn't mean it like that. it's just -" you let out a big sigh, were you really going to unload on your ex's boss now? "never mind, sorry again, i don't mean to drag you into this." 

price regarded you with a warm smile. he dropped back down on the bar stool and turned towards you. 

"don't worry about it, darling. i'm happy to listen, but you don't have to share. let's talk about something else, how's that cat of yours doin'?" 

you couldn't hold back the giggle that escaped you, internally smacking yourself for acting so out of the loop. 

but you quickly fell into the quiet hum of a conversation, staying far off the topic of him. john told you about the new plans for his house and you went on about the new plants and decoration pieces you had bought yourself in a rush of sudden self-care in the form of online shopping. 

your earlier worries, and even your plans were all but forgotten. the alcohol cursed through your veins and settled you in a hazy state. your laughs came easier. your walls lowering. 

maybe this wasn't all that bad. 

note: sooooooo, i hope i can update again more regularly, but i did wanna put out a lil warning, i'm starting a new job on the 3rd and i'm not sure yet how that's gonna affect my creativity and especially my availability to write. i hope you understand and i'll try to keep feeding you with this angsty goodness <33

taglist: @rafaelacallinybbay @fruitymoonbeams-blog @jdeclerc @valuyhh @galactict3a @etotruski @littlezarp @kentwos @strawberrygato

[tearsofastraeax]

cw: this is angsty as fuck guys, like really extremly angsty, trust me. and don't say i didn't warn you

simon who doesn't trust people. never has. never will. he can count on one hand how many people are worth it. 

till one day you step into his life. your too big smiles, too bright eyes, too lovely hair, too cute jokes. 

he wants to kick and scream and rip the world apart when he feels his heart heavily beating in his chest from just looking into your big doe eyes. 

it's ridiculous. 

it takes you exactly 4 months, 3 weeks and 2.5 days to make him laugh for the first time. and best believe, you are persistent. so much so that when his walls crumble beneath your gentle touch, he is lost to it, lost to you. always was. always will be. 

it's so easy he barely notices that you take over his whole life. he wakes up and all he sees is you. every day, every minute, every second. he has never felt like this before. this pure ecstasy of just being around you. 

it takes him another 3 months before he finally admits to himself that its love. the deepest, purest love he has ever felt. that night, he goes on his knee and ask you to marry him. 

of course, you say yes.

from that day on, he is worse than a little schoolgirl in love. he plans your wedding, acting more out of his mind than any bridezilla you ever saw in all those movies. but you think it's cute, the cutest you've ever seen. 

till that one day. that one mission.

it's a cold winter day, the grey clouds hanging heavily over an endless landscape, trees upon trees, mountains upon mountains. so remote, that the starry sky would be the clearest you would ever see, if those pesky little clouds would just disappear for a moment. 

it started snowing not long after your team was dropped. seemingly never stopping. going on, and on, and on. 

that day, as you hide behind some wonky tree, you hear the loudest gunshot you ever heard. the ringing in your ears so mind numbing. but the bullet... the bullet is surely the most painful one you ever felt. 

shock drifts over your features as you look down at yourself. the noise of the world drowning out around you. blood drips down the wound right there in your chest. 

drip, drip, drip. 

the red so stark against the white of the freshly fallen snow. 

your knees give out then, your body slumping against the tree, your lips trembling, your heartbeat too loud in your own ears. 

he comes for you then. of course he does. 

simon is so desperate, so helpless as he cradles you against his chest. whispering over and over again that everything will be alright. but you know it won't. you are too far out. too far gone. 

he holds you there, the whole time, as bullets and screams whip around you. he never lets you go. 

not even when your eyes close, your breathing stills, your heart stops. 

he holds on and on and on. wishing for just one more day. one more day in your arms. one more day with your cute smile, your gorgeous eyes. just one more day. 

he promises himself right there and then, never again. 

never again.