#✧ sky’s the limit > ( haru )

[fatexbound]

Anon said: Uh, you sure laughing at that is a good thing?

"W-well, it might be a little morbid, but it's not too bad! Right? I just find it funny how they crash like BAM all the time!" She's snickering even now thinking about it.

[reallypleasanttree]

Hashira Training Canon Divergent AU Drabble. Obamitsu obviously. 🙃

“Isn’t Tanjiro the sweetest?” Mitsuri asked, taking the cup of water Obanai offered her. They just finished a mock battle for hashira training. She won this time and he won the time before. Her attacks were long range and if he was able to get within short range, he could beat her. Though, she was smart enough to keep distance between them and her flexibility and speed allowed her to feign movements before switching them last second. 

His right eye twitched at the mention of the boy. “He’s always smiling and you can’t help but smile back, you know?” Obanai shook his head.

“No,” he said, steeling his facial expression. He loathed the boy ever since they met. He defied the demon slayer’s code of conduct. He allowed his sister to live as a demon. It would have been kinder to slay her. Admittedly she had never eaten a human but she would give into her true nature eventually. The Master’s word was the only safeguard from Obanai and Sanemi striking her down. “His demon shouldn’t be here,” Obanai said coldly. “The Corps wasn’t created to protect demons.” Kaburamaru hissed, sensing Obanai’s irritation. Mitsuri’s face wrinkled and she held a finger to her mouth. 

“You mean Nezuko?” Mitsuri asked. “At the village we hung out quite a bit. She’s not really like a demon,” she said and tilted her head in thought. 

“Then what would you call her?” he gritted his teeth. Mitsuri could be naive to the true nature of people and demons. It was another reason he adored her. She could see the good in anyone, but it also made her easy to take advantage of. 

“My little sister,” Mitsuri smiled and took a sip of water.

“Your little sister can regenerate limbs?” Obanai asked sarcastically. 

“Well, no, but her personality. She’s so kind and willing to help others. A lot like Tanjiro,” she admitted. A blush graced her cheeks when she said his name. Obanai squeezed the bamboo cup in his hand. Fire raged inside his stomach thinking of Mitsuri’s fondness over the boy. 

“What is he to you?” Obanai heard himself ask. He knew she would say she liked him and saw him as a potential husband. That much was clear from her letters and current conversation. Kamado was strong, compassionate, and seemed to like Mitsuri as she was. The boy wouldn’t be the worst choice. Bitterness filled his gut. 

“Tanjiro?” She looked up towards the sky in thought. She kicked out her legs absentmindedly. His eyes lowered to her feet and traveled up her green socks, following the lines up to her thighs. If she confessed to liking the brat, Obanai would have to throw his unrequited love away. His throat formed a lump. 

He wasn’t good enough for her. He knew that yet he kept a sliver of hope deep inside he could be. 

Not in this life. Obanai reminded himself and looked down at the dirt. In truth, he was below the dirt and the worms burrowing through. You're nothing more than trash. 

“He’s like my little brother. Haru always has a smile on his face and it brightens the whole room,” she finally answered. “It’s so cute to see how protective he is of his sister.” 

Brother? Obanai’s mind paused considering the word. Familial relationships were foreign to him having grown up in relative isolation. His interactions had been limited to food deliveries and the demon’s summons. The summons that led to his scars and family’s demise. 

On the other hand, Mitsuri came from a loving family. She spoke fondly of them and would visit them once every few months. He had several letters outline how she spent her weekend with her siblings fishing or shopping. Haru was the second born Kanroji followed by Jun, Kazuki, Shouta, and Suzume. Her parents had a textile business that was thriving. They seemed kind, much like the woman sitting in front of him on the ledge. 

“Though, to be fair, I see most of the demon slayers as family. Himejima and Rengoku were like my big brothers. Shinazugawa is my scary cousin who tries to intimidate others, but deep down he’s a softie. Uzui is another cousin, but we don’t see him often because he lives far away. Shinobu is my younger sister, but she acts older. Tomioka is like the boy who lives next door, but we love him anyway. Tokito is like my younger brother who gets distracted easily,” Mitsuri rambled on and listed off other members of the corps. Eventually, she stopped to catch her breath. She failed to mention how she saw him. 

Was he another brother, cousin, uncle, or some third cousin twice removed? Maybe he wasn’t even good enough to be considered family. He wouldn’t blame her. Obanai caught her gaze. 

“And what am I?” Obanai asked, preparing himself for the answer. If he was just another family member, he could put aside his feelings for her. 

Her face reddened and she opened her mouth, but no words came out. Great, she didn’t even consider him. He gritted his teeth and squared up his shoulders. Tension pulled on his neck and he could feel a headache coming on as Mitsuri looked away. She hid her face behind a braid. 

“You’re different,” Mitsuri replied, her voice soft. If he had not been focused, he would not have heard her. What did that mean? His nostrils flared. “You’re like…” her voice trailed off. 

“Like?” Obanai questioned. Kaburamaru uncoiled slightly and twisted his head to look directly at the Love Hashira. Mitsuri glanced back briefly and mouthed something he didn’t understand. He tilted his head and narrowed his gaze. 

“You’re not quite family, but you are, erm,” her lips twisted and she set the cup of water down. Her eyes drifted to her shoes. “Please don’t get angry,” she whispered, shutting her eyes. 

That set him back. The Snake Hashira relaxed his arms and stepped closer to her. He had been on edge ever since he talked to Sanemi about the calm before the storm. Normally, he held back showing his volatile side when he was with the Love Hashira. 

“I won’t,” Obanai said, lowering his tone to come off as calmer. She raised her head then and her green eyes focused on his two toned gaze. Her entire face was red at his proximity. In truth, he should step back and give her space. Before he could move back, she spoke. 

“You’re different because I want you to join my family,” she admitted. “Or I guess, it would be me joining your family since I’d take your name,” she swallowed. 

Take my name? His mind could not begin to process what she was insinuating. Did she want him to adopt her? That didn’t make any sense. If that were the case-Wait. Her hand reached up to his face, caressing the cream bandages. 

“If you see me in the same light, I’d like to be your bride,” Mitsuri whispered. His heart stuttered and his mind went blank. Instead he responded by reaching up to his bandages and pulling them down. He didn’t wait for her reaction to his scars. 

His lips crashed into hers. She made a shocked noise before returning his fervor. He would be lying if he said he never daydreamed about kissing her. Her hands grasped his haori and pulled him closer. He took a step forward and stood between her legs hanging off the stone guard rail. 

Her lips were softer than he imagined. His body warmed as they explored each other. It was probably hotter now than it had been from their mock battle. He set a hand down beside her hips to prevent himself from pushing her over as he leaned further into her. Kaburamaru slithered off his shoulders and down his arm. Mitsuri’s arms wrapped around his neck. 

Mitsuri was the first to pull back, trying to catch her breath. Her eyes crinkled at the edges as their eyes refocused. She had not released him from her grasp. His body hummed with excited energy. 

My bride. 

[empty-dream]

I wanna talk about the MV of Frieren 2nd OP song Haru (which surprisingly doesn't mean Spring (春) but Sunny (晴る)) Almost missing out this MV because it's not done with original Frieren AMV just like the first OP. But someone recommended to watch it anyway and I did. And DAMN IT'S SAD. AND HEAVY.

The story itself is pretty straightforward and easy to understand once you finish the entire MV. The fun part comes from the Youtube comments. There are several interesting insights about the MV, the song itself, and the relationship with Frieren series. After digging and crosschecking here and there plus some thinking, few points I'd like to bring up are:

Relation to Sousou no Frieren

This. Enough said.

On more detailed note, 晴れる (Hareru) means to clear up, to stop raining, to be sunny. Himmel in German means heaven. So it's basically turning into "clear heaven/sky"

You know Himmel's presence was so big and brought hope wherever he and his party was. Even in the Demon King era, his heroism and kindness brought light the people's life. Even now, long after he's gone, Frieren keeps meeting people who are directly or indirectly impacted by his actions, even for the smallest things like helping around the village. It was enough to cheer everyone he comes across.

I was thinking of how Serie and Frieren could end up so different despite being the same race as elves with unprecedented talent for magic and similar rather cold distant personality. Perhaps I'll talk in another post about it but for me, I feel like one of the biggest differences is that Frieren got to meet Himmel. Long after Flamme died, Serie is basically still alone at the top despite having more disciples, while Frieren meets Himmel and through him meet the others and then she walks the same path as them. Even after the two people she ever cares about die, Frieren's sky becomes clear as she learns about her own feelings and what should really be treasured in human limited time versus her own limitless one. Or at least that's how I interpret the anime.

The song itself

The lyrics often mention of how beyond the rain pouring down from the clouds, the sky up above is sunny. Beyond pain, there is peace. It's fitting the whole "clear (up the) sky" theme.

I've listened to a few Yorushika's songs before Haru, and while their songs are kinda hit and miss for my taste, I enjoy Haru a lot. And I didn't know that wordplay is Yorushika's specialty. After looking at some of their songs, I found out they like switching kanji of the titles so that the titles hold double meanings.

And honestly, whenever I picture "spring", I always pair it with "clear sky." Even though rains do fall in spring too, I always go with sunny. This whole kanji switch is genius, ngl.

Once I knew that one of the member, n-buna, is a Vocaloid composer, I was like "Huh. No wonder." Sometimes wildest profound lines do come out from Vocaloid songs.

The MV in general

The MV itself is straightfoward. The father is unaware he's dead. The son has been alone all these times. But still, the wish to live in a world of sunny days free of war and loss just like back in the day goes on.

An interesting top comment theorizes the wall here resembles the Western Wall in Jerusalem, while the tree with flowers shown in the last seconds looks like the olive tree. Olive tree means peace and reconciliation. The metaphor "offer an olive branch" means "wanting to end the quarrel and disagreement." Olive branch is present in the emblem of Israel while olive tree is considered as a national symbol for Palestinians. As of this writing I haven't found any official confirmation for those theories. But either way, this is clearly about living in war state-something that is unfortunately ever-present in the world.

I personally think that the release timing, the choice of story and certain elements in it like the wall, the plant and the sea, all make the MV extremely relevant to the genocide and occupation of Gaza now, whether it's actually intentional or not.

The director of the MV, Kohta Morie, tweeted something along the line of 'I present this work to those who did not have the chance to be "sunny."' Incredibly sad, when you think about it.

[mozajf]

A Hallowe'en special for y'all! Quick one shot with Logan and Haru's night out that Howlett mentioned in chapter one of Clear Blue Sky.

In which we learn a lot about both men's romantic and relationship background.

[whiskeysmulti]

Polar Opposites (A KHR one shot)

KHR Rarepair Week 2024 (Sky Day) Prompt: Bakery AU Word Count: 760 Summary: Sometimes different worlds collide. Pairings: 5996 (Gokudera/Chrome) 9586 (Kyoko/Haru)

Two worlds collided in one day, but they do say opposites attract. And opposites indeed were what they'd soon be called when the two rival shops opened up. One glance at the buildings side by side would tell anyone these women were from completely different worlds and had polar opposite tastes in their decorating styles.

On one side stood a small welcoming pastel colored bake shop with brightly colored flowers adorning the stairs and hand painted cutesy style treats painted on the window. The other a more Gothic structured plain black building stood that could possibly have been mistaken for a mortuary at first glance. However the single hand painted sign on the door with little cartoonist style skulls and roses said 'Fioraia'. Italian for Florist, with a feminine distinction to the wording, it was clear this was a flower shop that was run by a young woman.

"Kyoko-chan!" Haru excitedly called for her girlfriend, to come see the little shop across the street. "We have a new neighbor!" She exclaimed. To Haru, any new business in the area was a new neighbor, though she believed the building could have used a little more color, she wasn't going to judge the owners tastes. Never judge the book by the cover and never judge the business by the building's decor.

"We should welcome them to the neighborhood!" Kyoko exclaimed.

Haru agreed. "We should make them a welcome cake!" They ran a bakery, and cake was a favorite of theirs to make and eat.

Plan in action, a few hours later the girls had made a delicious chocolate cake with purple and black roses and a "welcome to the neighborhood" message written in grey icing. However when they went to knock there was no answer. They couldn't just leave the cake there, could they?

As they were about to abandon hope, a snow white owl flew out and dropped a letter. A single black envelope with light purple stationary and skulls printed on it, they wondered what the owner of the building wanted to tell them. There was a problem though. When they opened the letter, it was written in Italian. Haru and Kyoko mostly knew Japanese. However there was one word they recognized, Reborn-chan had said it several times, 'Ciao!' It was Italian for hello.

"Ah, Haru has heard Reborn-chan say this all the time. It means hi. Our new neighbor must be Italian." But there was a problem. If the neighbor is communicating with notes and the girls know limited Italian themselves, how do they fix this language barrier? Find a translator.

Reborn-chan would have been the obvious first choice, a trained hit man from Italy, it was his main tongue. However, as usual, the pint sized assassin was nowhere to be found. "Who else do we know that knows fluent Italian?" Kyoko pondered.

Haru's eyes lit up. "She's a bit rough, but I know I've heard Bianchi nee-san speak it before!"

"But Haru-chan, the cake!" Kyoko exclaimed, worried it would spoil being left out like that. Her worries would be silenced in mere seconds as the door opened again to release a screeching snow white owl that proceeded to snatch up the confection and drag it inside.

Holding her girlfriend's hand, Haru and Kyoko went on an adventure to hunt down the Poison Scorpion and get a full translation. Bianchi acquired after a few hours of searching, the girls were one step closer to solving the mystery of the nameless gothic florist next door.

A quick search and they located Bianchi and explained everything, just to be shocked at the news.

"ah, you've met Hayato's new girlfriend already?"

Haru and Kyoko's jaws dropped. Hayato Gokudera was a friend they went to school with, and had never dreamed he'd ever settle down. "His what?"

Bianchi nodded. "Yeah, it shocked me too, but Chrome won his heart and now she's moved to Namimori to run a flower shop and live closer to him. Really sweet girl she's just terribly shy of new people, this is a completely different world for her than Kokuyo where she was living previously."

Perhaps Kyoko and Haru had misjudged the girl across the street, she might be a rival business in general, but they were from two different worlds, selling two different things and sometimes when different worlds collide it can be a bit messy but sometimes it can mean something that's infinitely precious comes into your life, a friend that will always be there for you to the end, even when they're your polar opposite.

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

How could one man be so nervous just knocking on the door? The pit in Tarhos’s stomach gnawed at him demanding to just forget everything and leave, text her that something came up and they could put it off for later, but he knew better. This was important. More important than he could even describe.

He jumped visibly startled when the door opened forcibly dragging him from his own racing thoughts, “Hi Yvonne.” How awkward could he be? He went through the usual small talk until they actually sat down and he nervously massaged his own hands, he didn’t want to worry her, it really wasn’t something bad, but his brain had a hard time even forming what he wanted to say.

He’d never been more scared to say the wrong thing before. Not since his interview with Robin when he couldn’t afford to not get that job. Still he hoped his worry never met his usually stoic expression as he took a deep breath.

“Me and Haru have been dating for a while now, I know, but… I’ve been thinking about our future a lot more recently. Maybe it’s because of therapy or just the natural progression of when you live with someone.” Another breath to keep his thoughts steady,

“I've been thinking about how much I enjoy him in my life, even the bad parts we’ve been through. I’ve never felt this way about someone I’ve dated before and I know I haven’t been what he’s needed a lot of the time, but I really do still care about him more than anyone. I know it would mean a lot to him if I asked you first.”

Tarhos pauses his nerves reaching a crescendo until the words finally fall from his tongue, “Can I marry your son?”

── 𝐔𝐍𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ── 𝙼𝙾𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙽 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴

She was not expecting the sun to be blocked when she opened the door to her small, humble home in suburbia. The warm, golden rays of sunlight that typically streamed into her cozy entryway were suddenly obscured as Yvonne stepped into her modest entryway to see who had come to visit. The house was freshly perfumed with the lavender scent of her last cleaning session, and but it did little to stop the sudden fluttering of her heart. Over a decade later and part of her still feared to unlock the door. It had taken her a moment to navigate the multitude of locks lining the doorframe, each one clicking with release - and the door creaked open.

The sight of talll taaaaaalll Tarhos standing on her doorstep and blocking the afternoon light was ... well, he was the last person she imagined to be there. She even had half a mind to grab Miss Murata's Tupperware, convinced that today might finally be the long-overdue day her daughter would reclaim it, but here stood Tarhos instead; and Yvonne holding a stack of empty containers. Yet, as she beheld Tarhos, his expression a blend of uncertainty and intent, she felt herself soften. A quick, crinkly smile broke across her face, and she stepped aside with a gesture for him to come inside; curiously noticing how he nearly forgot to take off his shoes.

He … never did that. There was something different about him today—a subtle tension in his shoulders and a flicker of hesitation in his eyes that made her wonder. Was he nervous? — And what could have brought him here?

The bright afternoon sun dipped low in the sky as they filled the empty space between them with small talk, and soon warm golden hues filled her kitchen. Yvonne casually made her way to the table, balancing a tiny plate of glistening, peeled tangerines — each segment perfectly; it was something Haru had picked up. The amount of times he'd taken fruit to Tarhos was beyond count. She then poured two tall glasses of iced tea, the pour clinking against ice cubes that floated like tiny glaciers, catching the light with a sparkle. Once everything was settled she sank into her seat, tilting her head slightly, her curious gaze locking onto Tarhos while she bit back the urge to ask him his purpose. He looked almost comically strained, like a balloon being inflated way past its limit, the tension in his brows knitting them close. She could see the gears turning in his mind, struggling to find the right words, to tame his thoughts until they made some sort of sense and all of the nonsense was cleared out of the way.

Yvonne decided that patience was the best companion in that instant and waited for him to talk - and when he finally did she found herself momentarily speechless.

All at once, the long timeline of their relationship unfurled in vivid detail before her; well-worn and rich with colors, of every difficult moment and every bright day. She recalled, with an ache in her chest, the countless times when her baby boy’s face lit up with that radiant smile while sharing one of many stories about him. Conversely, she could hear the echoes of painful phone calls where tears flowed freely, where Haru's voice had grown so small she was convinced he was a schoolboy again.

Yvonne’s dark eyes fell to the cool, metallic glint of her wedding band bound around her finger — a supposed emblem of commitment bestowed by a man who had become a distant memory, nearly a shadow in her life after three long months of silence. When was the last time Ren had called … ? She quickly felt the sharp pang of irony; who was she to judge the complexities of love when her own heart was ensnared in all this constant uncertainty? She knew Tarhos loved her son. That was more than she could say with her own marriage. After taking a deep breath to compose herself, she leaned across the table to take his hand in hers - her expression serious, but still showing the joy she felt towards his question:

"My son loves you, and I want you to be what he needs now. You need to be what he will need, every single day until the end. If you can promise that to me, to him … Then yes. If you cannot promise it to either of us, well, I think you know what I have to say as his mother. But ... from what he's told me, and what I've seen ... For now; yes."

[rueririn]

The Never Forget series timeline

Because yeah it's getting confusing. This is mainly for my own reference but it’s a list ig

Set in alternative time:

The [As the Gods Will] events that set off the earthquake where time resets at the end.

The [Pandora Hearts] events because it takes place in multiple Mukuro lifetimes. 

The [Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle] events take place in many alternative dimensions and timelines. Same thing to the [Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood] installment.

Things that existed even before the earthquake

Demons from Kimetsu no Yaiba

Shizume City from K Project (the worlds both existed, but they were connected via only the Kannagi and Inari back then. Only after the earthquake did the bridge appear)

Secret Dobermen experiments from Cuticle Tantei Inaba

Death City from Soul Eater

Youkai/Ayakashi from Nurarihyon no Mago

Demihumans from Ajin: Demi Human 

The Borderlands from Imawa no Kuni no Alice

Heavenly Host from Corpse Party

Things that only showed up after the earthquake

Branch of Sin from Deadmen Wonderland

The Bridge that connects Yuki Yuna wa Yuusha de aru + K Project to Namimori shows up

The Digital World from Digimon

The Tentacle Experiments from Assassination Classroom

Things that were in motion even before the earthquake

PRE-CURSE (Arcobaleno)

Belphegor's part in Nurarihyon no Mago (Primo era)

All Corpse Party events for Viper. (Fuuta, Bluebell, and Mitsuru only enter the place after the earthquake because they are younger, but time also does a flip flop in Heavenly Host.)

POST-CURSE (Arcobaleno)

Takeshi was already a Demon Slayer at this point. 

Fon falls into a coma before the earthquake.

Ajin events begin pre-earthquake. 

Verde infiltrated the experimental stages of the Wretched Egg. 

The Pandora Hearts reincarnators and As the Gods Will survivors are reborn in this world and take their new roles.

The dimension jumpers from FMAB enter at random points in history.

Things that were put in motion (character-wise) only after the earthquake

Existence of the Digital World

Chikusa, Lussuria, and Verde become deadmen and are sent to Deadman Wonderland.

Hibari, Shamal, and Irie get sent to the Borderlands

Hayato runs away from his family and goes to Death City

Skull travels to Shizume City

Ken escapes Alcamone, joins NORA, and Haru is instated in Japan

Kyoko and Nagi/Chrome are scouted for the Yuusha System

AFTER HIBARI WAKES UP (tentatively 2-4 years after the earthquake)

Demon Slayer canon events

Washio Sumi wa Yuusha de aru climax events

Assassination Classroom events (Moon explosion)

General Chronological Reading Order of the entire series (to be updated as series goes on)

who lives, who dies (god tells your story) - As the Gods Will

another hundred cycles (away from wonderland) - Pandora Hearts

pure white orchids (take flight on white wings) - TSUBASA

beyond the gate (maybe we’ll find a fantasy) - FMAB

worth much more (than the corpses lining your walls) - Corpse Party

insert new coin to play (again, again, again) - Ajin: Demi Human

don’t fear the storm (the storm should fear you) - Nurarihyon no Mago

together we stand (under your sword of damocles) - K Project

neverland's a place (for lost boys like me) - Digimon World DS

don’t forget the days we lived (at the border) - Imawa no Kuni no Alice

dead men walking (in the birdcage) - Deadman Wonderland

on the trail (always for the culprit, never for you) - Cuticle Tantei Inaba

soul-searching (explosions) after the storm - Soul Eater

oh flower, bloom bright (for you, and your smile) - WaSuYu

keep breathing (until daylight) - Kimetsu no Yaiba

sky's not the limit (for we've made it to the moon) - Assassination Classroom

I’m sorry this is so messy lmaooo. Also note that you DON’T have to read them chronologically. You can read them in writing order, or skip installments if you want! 

[asrisgratitudejournal]

Menulis (2?)

Ku lagi random banget di Cohen Quad sebetulnya lagi ada acara nonton bareng PPI Oxford menonton Jatuh Cinta Seperti di Film-film yang kata orang-orang bagus itu, tapi karena ku datengnya telat udah kehilangan plot awal, dan lagi gak pengen nonton juga (seharian udah nonton banyak banget), akhirnya ku memutuskan untuk ke depan PC dan ngetik ini.

Hari Sabtu! Yang sudah dikerjakan dan mau disyukuri: (karena balik lagi judul tumblr ini kan adalah Asri’s gratitude journal)

Berhasil tidur lumayan banyak(?) – nggak ngitung berapa durasi jam totalnya sih, tapi semalam akutu tidur cepet kayanya jam setengah 10 deh ketiduran karena saking kecapeannya seharian berdiri di lab dan kehujanan dan main pingpong sejam. Terus tapi kebangun jam 2 buat solat Isya terus gabisa tidur lagi sampai jam 5 HHHHHH. Tapi habis dari jam 5 baru kebangun lagi jam 9 sih buat prep kelas online jam 10…

Berhasil kelas pagi! Walaupun agak pusing kayanya kelasnya, tapi ku seneng banget dapat pertanyaan korelasi terus UDAH LAMA BANGET nggak ngerjain korelasi jadi ku sangat bacot tadi pasti. Habis itu bahas gelombang mayan pusing, tapi InsyaAllah bisa diterima.

Makan siang pakai Five Guys sisa semalam makan gak habis sambil lanjut nonton Jung-Pal. Terus tidur-tiduran aja di sofa nyelesein series Earth-nya BBC yang sama Chris Packham terus secara random nonton Equator (docu BBC tahun 2006) yang episode Indonesia, eh malah jadi NAKSIR BANGET SAMA SIMON REEVE??? Dulu di 2006 ganteng banget ni orang, tapi di 2024 ya masih ganteng cuma jadi daddy-daddy aja.

Mita nelpon, ngobrol sejam sama Mita bahas dia habis LARI 10K(???) padahal dia lagi hamil(!). Terus bahas betapa chaosnya si pelaksana Half Marathon event ini: mereka gak NYEDIAIN AMBULANS!!! Terus ku jadi mikir juga si EO events kaya gini di Indo tuh gaada SNI/ISO atau third party buat make sure standar mereka udah OK??? Kayak… mereka masa nggak bikin semacam risk assessment document gitu sih supaya dapat ijin pelaksanaan acara??? Ak aja yang bikin acara se-level MOSAIC gitu di Oxford, si council minta risk assessment! Atau ya kalau aku karena kerja di lab basah ya pasti harus ada risk assessmentnya tiap masuk lab baru. Terus dari situ jadi bahas bedanya healthcare system di Indo vs di UK/EU in general, bahas gimana kualitas air di Indo beda banget dengan di sini, cerita juga gimana pengalaman orang-orang bayi tabung dan kenapa rate keberhasilannya di sini lebih tinggi daripada di Indo (balik lagi ke kualitas air). Terus Mita ngantuk lalu kami udahan.

Dari situ aku sebetulnya dah bingung mau ngapain lagi ya. Awalnya mau keluar agak earlier karena cuaca cerah banget dan mau jajan ibu korea tapi berhubung masih ada burger mikir sayang juga kalau ngeluarin uang buat jajan. Terus tapi mikir “AH KU HARUS JALAN dan menikmati matahari mumpung ada!” aku pun jalan keluar. Awalnya mau ke Radcam buat NGETIK INI. Tapi melipir dulu ke Crosstown buat grabbing matcha latte dan ada Fay!! Berujung ngobrol ngalor ngidul juga sama Fay dan dia cabs duluan buat ke acara di Cohen Quad ini. Aku mengecek Radcam ternyata udah tutup, kata Angga tutup jam 18 buset cepet bener. Terus yaudahdeh jadinya ke sini sekarang.

Kemarin salah satu twitku juga habis viral (lagi). Itu berujung dari kebangun jam 3 buat solat Isya dan lanjut Subuh terus ya mikirin hidup aja gaksih. Kepikiran sesungguhnya dengan titel PhD Oxford yang akan kumiliki kurang dari setahun lagi ini aja, betulan the sky is the limit. Aku mau kerja apapun orang bakal mau hire, credibility aku jelas banget, terus kepikiran “YAKIN Non mau balik lagi ke UI dan being underappreciated??”. Makanya lahirlah tweet itu. Terus ditinggal tidur malah blow up dan VIRAL (emoji nangis). Paling aneh (dan paling males) kalo tweetnya udah nyampe ke antah berantah dan orang gak paham konteks tweetnya. Itu tuh betul-betul tweet ngatain kegoblokan diri sendiri, betul-betul tidak ada niatan buat menyindir siapapun SELAIN DIRI SAYA SENDIRI: I am my biggest hater aja gitu kannn. EH MALAH ada aja orang salah nangkep aneh banget. Tapi yaudah sepertinya itu memang resiko dari tweet yang relatable (dan (semoga) lucu).

Ada teman yang bilang “itu tuh mereka ngasih komen gak respectful gitu karena mereka gaktau lo siapa Non, makanya taroh dong itu semua credentials lo di bio biar mereka tahu mereka tu lagi ngomong sama siapa”. Credentials yang dimaksud di sini adalah: Oxford PhD student, dosen UI, geologist lulusan ITB, apa lagi, lulusan SMA8 Jakarta. Responku: “YAILAH, that defies the point of me being in the social media at all dong… kalau mau connect & interact sama Noni yang itu mah di Linkedin aja sekalian…” Aku tu suka banget socmed karena kita bisa jadi ANYONE despite everything, betul-betul bisa se-anonymous mungkin dan berinteraksi dengan banyak orang lain dengan anonimity itu.

Ku percaya kalau orangnya baik mah ya harusnya akan ngetreat orang lain dengan baik juga. Kenapa kita harus tau orang ini posisinya apa dan siapa untuk ngatur gimana cara kita ngomong ke orang lain ini? Kalau mau pake prinsip equality mah ya harusnya sama sopannya cara kita ngomong ke Presiden dan janitor… (WOW lihat idealis sekali wanita yang sedang hidup di negara dunia pertama ini).

Anyways, tapi iya… intinya diskriminasi dan treatment yang jadi berbeda ini kerasa banget kok, nggak perlu ke social media scene… Di kehidupan sehari-hari aja aku ngerasain saat ketemu orang pertama kali (terutama orang Indonesia ya), pas aku bilang aku “mahasiswa S3” aja vs saat kubilang later kalau aku “dosen di UI” juga. WHICH is weird. Really weird. Ku nggak yang berterima kasih atau gimana dengan status ini dan perbedaan sikap orang terhadapku karena pekerjaanku, tapi betulan yang “LAH emangnya kenapa kalau gw dosen atau bukan dosen dan kalau gw dosen di PTN bagus vs bukan di PTN???”. Hal ini terjadi juga di temanku seumuran yang udah jadi dokter spesialis btw. Treatment suster-suster ke dia di Rumah Sakit beda banget pas mereka belum tahu kalau temanku ini dokter spesialis vs sudah tahu.

Pernah aku lagi ke lapangan sebagai team leader (projek riset aku) di wilayah Citarum sama mahasiswa-mahasiswaku yang cowok semua (aku cewek sendiri), kami disamperin TNI. Terus tebak siapa orang pertama yang disamperin TNI ini buat nanya2? Mahasiswa-ku yang paling tinggi dan mukanya paling tua (HAHA). Terus aku baru intervensi bilang “OH saya dosennya, saya yang bertanggungjawab atas pengambilan data ini, ini surat ijinnya”. Si TNI-nya yang bingung gitu. Dia jelas-jelas nggak expect leader dari tim ini adalah ibu-ibu/mbak-mbak. Di menit itu juga statusku berubah dari “Cuma mbak-mbak (mungkin dia tukang nyatetnya di grup, karena cewek kan tugasnya menulis ye)” jadi “Dosen UI, ketua tim”. Cara Bapak TNI-nya ngomong juga langsung berubah ke aku. Betul-betul fenomena menarik.

Lah jadi ngebacot tentang ini di sini lol. Iya intinya mau bilang aja di Indonesia itu masih bergantung dengan “lu siapa” banget untuk bisa hidup nyaman. Ada salah satu reply yang bahas masalah “kenyamanan” juga di tweet viral kemarin. Aku bilang: “kalau kenyamanan ya jelas ke luar Indo dong”. Kenyamanan yang kumaksud di sini tentu saja melingkupi: akses pendidikan berkualitas yang terjangkau, fasilitas kesehatan, taman bermain untuk anak (dan untuk orang dewasa juga), alam, transportasi umum, TANPA MELIHAT kita ini kaya/miskin & koneksi kita siapa. Intinya ya kenyamanan untuk hidup sehari-hari aja.

Di Indonesia itu hidup baru “nyaman” kalau kita minimal masuk ke kelas ekonomi menengah (penghasilan kita di atas rata-rata, bagus kalau sampai 2x UMR) karena berarti kita bisa BAYAR untuk dapat akses ke pendidikan yang bagus, fasilitas kesehatan, dan hiburan (ke mall/nonton konser/ke luar kota/pulau/negeri untuk liburan sesekali). Dan uang banyak ini makin mantap kalau kita punya “jejaring” yang OK, kita “kenal” atau merupakan “kerabat” dari orang-orang tertentu yang merupakan key person/vital/Bahasa Indonesianya: “orang penting” yang bisa memberikan kita akses dan informasi yang OK. Koneksi ini bisa didapat dari mana? Tentu saja sekolah (alumni), pekerjaan, dan KELUARGA. Jadi… begitu ada orang yang pilih Indonesia untuk “KENYAMANAN”, sorry banget, tapi aku langsung “oh dia orang mampu”, lalu aku gak akan lanjutin argumennya, karena… ya hidup dia udah nyaman aja apparently di Indonesia. Orang-orang ini adalah orang-orang yang SAKING nyamannya dengan hidup mereka, mereka gaada rasa risih sedikitpun kayanya lihat uang pajak mereka dibuang-buang dan disalahgunakan.

JADI WORKED UP LAGI WKWKWK.

Yaudah tapi intinya gitu deh, banyak banget sebetulnya yang bisa dijadikan percakapan/latihan mikir dari tweet viral kemarin. Seru. Aku suka banget sesekali buat ngalamin viral gini, jadi belajar BANYAK BUANGET. Dari tipe-tipe orang, tipe komunikasi, cara orang mikir…

Dah itu dulu aja, kututup curhatan hari ini karena kayanya filemnya udah mau habis dan aku pegel juga rupanya ngetik sambil berdiri (karena layarnya tinggi banget).

Sekian. Selamat berakhir pekan teman-teman!

Cohen Quad 20:57 04/05/2024

[sunday-arch]

a11sunday … a one piece multimuse roleplay blog as narrated and interpreted by chai, and operating as sporadic activity and mutuals only. rules + roster found under the cut. memes. open starters.

an exploration in … found family, second chances and forgiveness, survivor's guilt, rescue from loneliness and an unloved existence, liberation from the burden of guilt, oppression, and the things that shackle us, and a captain and crew's unconditional love.

affiliations … weatherw1tch , danversiism , buraiikan / ryusokcn / shipwrght , lovehungered , foremyth , pareidolah , voidcenturyseashanties.

now watching … egghead island arc.

rules + general information.

no explicit sexual material, infidelity threads, or holiday-centric threads will be written here.

suggestive content will ultimately fade to black.

force shipping ≠ asking if i ship our muses / wanting to discuss the potential for a ship. feel free to be forthright with your intentions since i generally prefer to have some discussion and chemistry testing before jumping into romantic shipping. as for all other types of dynamics, i'm always down and encourage it!

trigger warnings will be tagged " trigger // ". please tag your usfw, jumpscares, and any media or material involving infidelity.

plots preferred , but will use memes as ice breakers and will continue them whenever possible. i try to send memes to new mutuals to get interactions going, but please don't feel pressured to respond right away.

i get duplicate anxiety from time to time, and while that doesn't mean that i won't interact with duplicates at all, that means i might limit how many of the same muse i follow that are duplicates of someone i write. it's no remark on you or your muse, it's for my own comfort.

* as noted in some of my ocs’ lore / blurbs, i’ve written them with connections to canon characters. so, i will be referencing them as people they know in interactions unless you write said characters themselves. if you write any of these characters themselves and you are uncomfortable with pre establishing connections, then we can plot around it / discuss it further. i’ll approach you about it before i write anything that would assume they know one another.

roster. --- click on link attached to muse name to find any canon divergences, information on interpretation, and / or various verses.

canons ;

makino, pub owner in windmill village.

monkey d. luffy, captain of the strawhat pirates, the future pirate king.

nico robin, archaeologist and crew member of the strawhat pirates, “demon child of ohara”.

perona, crewmember of the thriller bark pirates, “the ghost princess”.

portgas d. ace, former captain of the spade pirates, second commander of whitebeard pirates, “fire fist ace”.

red leg zeff, head chef of baratie, former captain of cook pirates.

sanji, cook and crewmember of the strawhat pirates, “black leg sanji”.

silvers rayleigh, former first mate of the roger pirates, "the dark king".

tony-tony chopper, doctor and crewmember of the strawhat pirates.

usopp, sharpshooter / sniper and crewmember of the strawhat pirates, “god usopp”.

viola, princess of dressrosa, formerly of the donquixote family.

ocs ;

clover d. iselda, naval captain under the command of monkey d. garp. / faceclaim : may calamawy ( live action ).

kazumi haru, samurai in the land of wano, ally of the returned akazaya nine. / faceclaim : suguru geto (jjk).

nina liu, operates in the criminal underworld, creating clothing, armor and weaponry infused with sea stone and haki, “the tigress”. / faceclaim : fan bing bing ( live action ).

otorobashi akai, captain of the crimson dragon pirates, “the bloodletter”.

quetzal d. luna, third princess of the sky system, helio, "the sky warrior princess". / faceclaim : taylor russell ( live action ).

zephyr, operative in the revolutionary army, older brother of nami. / faceclaim : aleksander (veil manga). ( REQUEST MUSE ).

zhi hua, cook, secondary weapons expert, and first mate of the crimson dragon pirates, “the mad queen”. / faceclaim : faye wong ( live action ).

testing muses ; ( available upon request )

monkey d. garp.

[natsukumo]

I've been playing Sky: CoTL for almost 4 months now and I am totally obsessed lol. I met so many cool and fun people and I am truly grateful for that!

Here's my Sky journey so far!

The Little Prince quests are the first ever quests I've ever completed. It was a little difficult for me because I was still a moth then with only few winged lights and limited knowledge of the maps. I had to ask for help for the last quest, but the others I finished by myself!

The first OOBs I got to visit! Riku, my first ever friend on Sky, took me to see them :>

I can still remember how amazed I was when I first saw Dreams of a Little Friend. I didn't want to leave 😭 So I didn't go to any realms for a day or two so I could go back via return shrine haha

Oh my god the AURORA concert blew my mind away fr!! It was just so magnificent and AAAAA it's truly one of the best Sky moments 😭 I discovered new music and new friends because of that concert.

Staying up late with David and Haru just to goof around at home. Sadly, I don't play with them anymore. But I will forever treasure the moments I had with them on Sky.

Friends come and go. I learned how to be on my own. Candle run on my own. Do dailies on my own. Sky is fun with friends of course, but spending time by yourself and just mindlessly exploring the realms is also really fun ✧٩(ˊωˋ*)و✧

Now, I mostly spend my time on Sky with Asriel and sometimes Bird! They're really fun to be with and I feel super lucky to meet both of them!

I know there might come a day that I will stop playing this game. Life will happen and priorities are bound to change. But I will forever carry these moments in my heart.

[semestamatakuna]

Junk Journaling, Sebuah Perkenalan

Selama ini di laman media sosial alias Instagram @dinimatakuna maupun @semestamatakuna, aku kerap berbagi foto atau cerita atau penggalan kabar tentang #bebikinanmatakuna yang kusebut “journal” atau “journaling” atau “junk journal” dan sejenisnya. 

Yaaah, sebenarnya kalau ditarik mundur 1,5 tahun terakhir sih (sejak jadi mami), aku memang jauh lebih jarang berbagi tentang aktivitas ini karena kesulitan menyiasati dokumentasi aktivitas journaling-ku.

Yang pasti, aku sadar bahwa selama ini belum pernah secara jelas bertutur tentang journaling, apasih journal itu?. Apalagi tentang junk journal, bebikinan apaan lagi itu junk journal? – mungkin demikian sebagian temans sekilas bertanya dalam hati.

Terlepas dari defisini yang dipatok di dalam bacaan maupun tontonan di luar sana, bagiku journaling alias menulis/membuat jurnal enggak lain adalah aktivitas merekam/mendokumentasikan: ingatan, pengalaman, perasaan, sensasi, eksperimen, bahkan gagasan. Bentuknya bisa naratif, dan bisa juga dominan diwakili elemen visual (garis, pola, gambar, warna, dll), bahkan juga gabungan dari keduanya. 

Selain itu, material yang dipakai juga sangat lentur dan adaptif, menyesuaikan kenyamanan, kebutuhan, ketersediaan, bahkan tergantung tingkat keisengan (baca: kreativitas) masing-masing pegiat.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CtqsDFtBzrt/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Nah, dari sana aku coba bahas mengerucut lebih menyoal junk journal ya!

Karena ada kata “junk”, intinya sih ini tentang aktivitas journaling yang memanfaatkan apa yang ada, yang dipunya, dan yang terlintas di kepala. Tiket bekas, bon/struk belanja, kertas sisa, paper bag, kardus, benang, crayon, cat air, foto jadul, kain, dan lain-lain, dan sebagainya!

Aku merasa, melalui junk journaling, secara enggak sadar dan enggak langsung turut membiasakan diriku untuk belajar mengolah apa yang ada. Bisa jadi, itu adalah pengalaman enggak enak dan traumatis, meski bisa juga sebaliknya. 

Dari pengolahan yang berlangsung itu ternyata membantuku memberi pemaknaan baru atas pengalaman yang ada. (Tapi ini opini personal sih, bisa jadi bagi pegiat journaling lain berbeda makna dan rasanya. Yaa enggak apa-apa juga, sama-sama tetep joss! Haha)

Berkerasi atas nama junk journal bagiku sangat luas arenanya. Sky is the limit, ceunah!

So, what is the point of junk journaling? – wotseeeh, keminggris 😛

Lagi-lagi, ini akan menjadi jawaban yang bersifat opini personal. Yang mana bisa selaras dengan pendapat orang tetapi mungkin juga kontra. (Tentu, enggak apa apa juga menurutku kalau ternyata ada yang gak setuju)

Oke, begini, setidaknya ada empat misi yang bisa dipenuhi dari junk journal, antara lain:

Menjadi jurnal harian

Berfungsi sebagai planner

Dokumentasi ingatan/kenangan

Bahkan, cocok juga menjadi kado dan bingkisan

Ada banyak lagi sih sebetulnya, termasuk membantuku menyusuri proses transformasi ala-ala junk to joy. 

Adakah kamu yang kemudian bertanya-tanya;

"kalau ingin nulis jurnal apalagi junk journaling lantas harus mulai dari mana?"

"material yang harus disiapin apa saja?"

dll ???

Sabar-sabar! 

Tulisan kali ini sekilas sampai di sini dulu. Yaah, namanya juga perkenalan. An introduction. Tsaah

Poin-poin lain tentang journaling, aku ceritakan melalui unggahan berikutnya ya. 

Yang pasti, kalau kamu ternyata sedang cari journal kit untuk segera memulai journaling, bisa tengok lapak IG jualanku di @semestamatakuna

Terima kasih sudah menyimak sampai selesai. Moga sama-sama terjaga sehat, banyak berkat, banyak kasih. Joss!

[ofsemicolone]

The Concept Behind.

ENG

More than 450 million people suffer from mental disorders. According to WHO, by the year 2020, depression will constitute the second largest disease burden worldwide. So here we are, with our concept that raises concerns about mental health, semicolon is ready to accompany you, make yourself feel comfortable in our presence so you won't feel alone and make your days full of happiness. Semicolon ; NOT JUST A TATTOO. /ˌsemiˈkəʊlɒn/ Semicolon is a symbol ( ; ) this symbol is used when a writer seems to choose to end a sentence, but it doesn't. It is as if the author is yourself and the sentence is your life. So does the meaning of this semicolon tattoo. It becomes a physical representation of a person's strength in their inner struggles and fosters hope and love for those who are struggling with their sadness. VOL 4.0 NEW PAGE SEMI, we position ourselves like punctuation marks in the story written by Colones. Like the Semicolon(e) itself, we remain a small part of Colones journey. Whether it's a dot, comma, quotation, or anything else, we are always present in their story, be it past, present, or future. Like punctuation that consistently completes sentences, SEMI will always complement Colones. "We will keep moving forward." As time passes, we must realize that the journey to a brighter future and personal well-being is not always smooth. Sometimes, we may feel tired, even wounded, in our efforts to reach our best potential. However, like a small wounded bird gazing at the sky, we all have the determination to see beyond, surpass limits, and achieve our desires. In facing challenges, we must learn to be brave, ride the winds of change, leap higher, and overcome every obstacle. Although raindrops may disturb us, and long stormy nights with dark clouds may seem daunting, we must not give up. The thunder and waves in our lives are part of this journey, and we will grow stronger through these experiences. The fire in our hearts continues to burn, becoming a guiding beacon leading us through the darkness towards the dawn. Before the dawn breaks, we must keep developing our talents, exceeding the highest speed limits, and undertaking this journey with sincere determination. With courage and perseverance, we will reach the future we dream of, face challenges, and achieve the happiness and well-being that are our goals. IT REALLY DOESN'T END HERE, SO WILL YOU FIGHT WITH US?

INA

Lebih dari 450 juta orang mengalami gangguan mental. Menurut WHO, pada tahun 2020, depresi akan menjadi beban penyakit terbesar kedua di seluruh dunia. Jadi di sinilah, dengan konsep kami yang menyoroti kesehatan mental, titik koma siap menemani Anda, buatlah diri Anda nyaman di hadapan kami sehingga Anda tidak merasa sendirian dan membuat hari-hari Anda penuh kebahagiaan. Semicolon; BUKAN HANYA SEBATAS TATO. /ˌsemiˈkəʊlɒn/ Semicolon adalah simbol ( ; ) simbol ini digunakan ketika seorang penulis tampaknya memilih untuk mengakhiri kalimat, tetapi sebenarnya tidak. Seolah-olah penulisnya adalah diri Anda sendiri dan kalimatnya adalah hidup Anda. Begitu juga makna tato titik koma ini. Ini menjadi representasi fisik kekuatan seseorang dalam perjuangan batin mereka dan menyemangati harapan dan cinta bagi mereka yang berjuang dengan kesedihan mereka. VOL 4.0 NEW PAGE SEMI, kami memposisikan diri kami seperti tanda baca dalam cerita yang ditulis oleh 'Colones'. Seperti Semicolon(e) itu sendiri, kami tetap menjadi bagian kecil dari perjalanan Colones. Walaupun hanya berupa titik, koma, kutip, atau apapun itu, kita selalu ada di dalam cerita mereka, baik yang sudah terjadi, yang sedang berlangsung, maupun yang akan datang. Seperti tanda baca yang selalu melengkapi kalimat, SEMI akan selalu melengkapi Colones. “Kita akan terus melangkah.” Seiring berjalannya waktu, kita harus menyadari bahwa perjalanan ke masa depan yang lebih cerah dan kesejahteraan pribadi tidaklah selalu mulus. Terkadang, kita mungkin merasa lelah, bahkan terluka, dalam usaha mencapai potensi terbaik kita. Namun, seperti burung kecil yang penuh luka yang menatap langit, kita semua memiliki tekad untuk melihat lebih jauh, melampaui batasan, dan mencapai keinginan kita. Dalam menghadapi tantangan, kita harus belajar untuk berani, berlari mengendarai angin haluan, melompat lebih tinggi, dan mengatasi setiap rintangan. Meski tetesan hujan mungkin mengganggu kita, dan malam badai panjang dengan awan hitam mungkin terasa menyulitkan, kita tak boleh menyerah. Guntur dan ombak dalam hidup kita adalah bagian dari perjalanan ini, dan kita akan tumbuh lebih kuat melalui pengalaman ini. Api dalam dada kita terus membara, menjadi mercusuar penerang jalan yang membimbing kita melalui kegelapan menuju cahaya fajar. Sebelum fajar menyingsing, kita harus terus mengembangkan bakat kita, melebihi batas kecepatan tertinggi, dan menjalani perjalanan ini dengan tekad yang tulus. Dengan keberanian dan ketekunan, kita akan mencapai masa depan yang kita impikan, menghadapi tantangan, dan meraih kebahagiaan serta kesejahteraan yang menjadi tujuan kita. IT REALLY DOESN'T END HERE, SO WILL YOU FIGHT WITH US?

[mufos-photo-album]

This isn’t me suggesting an alternative since blocking people still seems to be the best way to remove them from your friend constellation, but I do want to comment that I’ve seen *some* sort of built in friend removal system aside from blocking.

Some background: I was going through some DMs between me and a friend, and I came across a screenshot of my friend constellation at the time (07/13/2023). What was odd about the screenshot was that it displayed the names of people I remembered meeting, but also remembered not seeing in my friend constellation. Among these friends are:

“🇯🇵Haru”

“Emmanuel”

“Ling”

“Bénise”

There are a few more I could list, but I think you get the point — this has happened with more than one person. The common thread between all of these friends is that I have not seen them in a while, which for keeping your constellation clear is probably all you need to know, but the mechanics of what counts as inactivity is still unclear.

The possibilities include:

They really just are inactive. Haven’t logged on or deleted the game.

They blocked me, causing them to appear inactive on my game and eventually disappear. (In terms of clearing out your constellation this would be rather slow since there isn’t a clear indicator on if you should block back, as to remove this friend from your constellation)

Also, given that these friends I mentioned straight up disappeared, it's unclear where they go. With blocked users I at least assume they stay on that block list (I've only ever blocked one person), but friends who disappear naturally are otherwise inaccessible. I assume they come back if they are active again.

It may also be worth noting I have a pretty full constellation. I'm not sure if Sky has a max limit of friends it can display at once, but I currently have 4 "pages" worth of friends, excluding special constellations for those closer to me. If Sky does have a maximum, then it's possible these inactive friends got pushed out of display due to me having too many of them.

i wish there was a way to unfriend ppl in sky bc i feel so bad having to block them when they haven’t done anything wrong but it’s the only way to remove them 😭

[goldnkuro]

´ ´ relationships with celestial  ` `

» silver «

(ᶜʰᵃᵉˢᵒᵒ | ˢᶤˡᶰᵒ)

they weren’t close at first, they only met because the ceo in sm paired them to go to produce 101 together, during the survival show, they were placed in the same room in the dorm, and they spent most of their free time when they didn't practice by chatting about anything that passed in their head, thus, they got closer.

soo-young was really happy when eun-chae was confirmed to be in celestial as well, even more, when she was chosen as the leader, she’s a really reliable and responsible person, so it was wise to choose her to lead them.

to soo-young, eun-chae is one of the most hardworking people she ever met, spending hours and hours in the company’s studio, always creating good music for the group.

and because of that, soo-young always makes sure that eun-chae doesn’t overwork herself by always bringing her food, more caffeine or just keeping eun-chae some company while always reminding her that it’s equally important for her to have a proper rest from time to time.

and to eun-chae, soo-young is someone she can fully trust no matter what.

soo-young was the one eun-chae went to first when admitting that she’s bisexual, she wanted to say it to their fans but admitted that she was scared, but soo-young promised that everything would be okay and since then, soo-young is still keeping her word.

▪︎ ˢᵐᵃˡˡ ᵐᵒᵐᵉᶰᵗˢ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ ▪︎

vibing to some songs together

staying late at the studio

eating takeout when they stay late

workout buddies

» venus «

(ʰᵘᵃˢᵒᵒ | ᵛᵉᶰᵒᶤʳ)

hua was the last member soo-young met.

at first soo-young was a bit taken aback by how shy and private hua is.

but then she accepted it and respected whenever hua wasn’t feeling like indulging soo-young in her shenanigans.

soo-young enjoys spending time with hua, there’s something in her aura that makes the room so comforting.

soo-young is also really protective of hua especially when she discovered that the chinese member was quite sensitive, even more towards conflicts and criticism.

hua is quite fond of soo-young, she’s actually the first to notice whenever soo-young was feeling down.

so whenever that happens, hua usually asks if soo-young wants to accompany her when she’s having a creative burst to write some lyrics, because she knew that soo-young would eventually calm down.

soo-young loves when hua raps, it’s like a soft and quiet doll is suddenly spitting fire, it never ceases to amaze her.

but soo-young also loves hua’s rare vocal moments, she thinks her deep tone suits her singing.

unfortunately for the venus and noir stans, there aren’t lots of moments when they’re caught together on camera due to hua’s shyness with soo-young’s extroverted ass, the most common place you will find them together in either on v-live or on their sns.

but that doesn’t mean they love each other less.

▪︎ ˢᵐᵃˡˡ ᵐᵒᵐᵉᶰᵗˢ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ ▪︎

hua teaching soo-young a bit of chinese

playing board games

brainstorming sessions

comfy vibes

» lana «

(²ˢᵒᵒ | ˡᵃᶰᵒᶤʳ )

soo-young’s soulmate.

soo-jin is basically soo-young’s second haven after mingi.

whenever they’re doing something together, they introduce themselves as 2soo.

they clicked so well in their first meeting, it’s like it was meant for them to become friends.

they were each other’s rock through all the hard times they went through, from the times on sm until now.

soo-young is the only one member who doesn’t mind soo-jin’s overbearing affection at all, so that’s why they’re almost all the time glued together.

soo-jin is also very protective of soo-young, especially since soo-young’s first panic attack.

soo-jin also babies the shit out of soo-young, always making sure that she’s getting enough food, a good amount of sleep, and always having fun.

there’s a habit that soo-young developed, which is idly playing with soo-jin’s fingers whenever she’s feeling nervous or bored, always makes gems melt because of how cute it is.

while soo-jin is the group’s mother, she’s the whole family for soo-young, and soo-young always makes sure to let soo-jin know how thankful she feels for it.

ᵃˡᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ ˢᵒᵒ-ʲᶤᶰ'ˢ ᵈᶤˢᵒʳᵍᵃᶰᶤᶻᵉᵈ ᵃˢˢ ᵃᶰᶰᵒʸˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ˢᵒᵒ-ʸᵒᵘᶰᵍ, ˢʰᵉ ˢᵗᶤˡˡ ˡᵒᵛᵉˢ ʰᵉʳ.

▪︎ ˢᵐᵃˡˡ ᵐᵒᵐᵉᶰᵗˢ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ ▪︎

cooking together

dancing to snsd’s songs

random cuddling sessions

tight hugs and lots of face kisses

» haru «

(ʰᵃˢᵒᵒ | ʰᵃᶰᵒ)

soo-young’s baby, change my mind.

actually scratch that, she’s the whole group’s baby.

haru is even laura’s baby, and laura is the youngest in the group.

they all form ‘haru’s protection squad’.

soo-young never thought she would live long enough to meet someone as sweet and down-to-earth as miyano haruko.

but she was glad that she did.

haruko is the only member who has the shortest time as a trainee in the group, and yet she's talented enough to be the second main vocal.

but unfortunately, there are times where even soo-young, a lead vocal, gets more lines than her.

so soo-young decided that she would be haruko's biggest hypeman.

“yeah, that’s cool. but anyway, did i tell you guys about haru’s vocal?”, “haru’s vocals always make me fly.”, “wow, truly an angel on earth.”.

soo-young also used to use some of haru’s photos as wallpaper on her phone, but then she changed it to other photos.

basically, haru has soo-young on the tip of her fingertips.

▪︎ ˢᵐᵃˡˡ ᵐᵒᵐᵉᶰᵗˢ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ ▪︎

hyping haru 24/7

binge-watching anime

height jokes

taking photos of each other

» laura «

(ˡᵃᵘˢᵒᵒ | ˡᵃᵘᶰᵒ)

soo-young’s dance buddy inside the group.

big chaotic sibling energy.

pls someone save the 97’ liners from these two.

their texts are mostly filled with memes and tea they hear from other people.

the literal meaning of a ‘tom and jerry’ friendship.

annoys and teases the shit of each other, which soon evolves into annoying and teasing the shit out of the other members (excluding haru, because she’s their baby).

when laura’s screaming, there’s a high chance that soo-young will scream too.

one moment they’re bickering like crazy, but then they’re spoon-feeding ice cream to each other and laughing at funny stories they read somewhere.

“laura dance legend!”, “soo-young whole legend!”

soo-young loves everything laura does, her drawings, the way she takes care of her plants.

but soo-young especially loves laura’s pets.

soo-young was actually one of the persons that went with laura to get her ear pierced, to calm her from her phobia.

▪︎ ˢᵐᵃˡˡ ᵐᵒᵐᵉᶰᵗˢ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ ▪︎

playful teasing

sharing memes and tea

dance duo

taking care of laura’s plants

[saltedpeppermintmocha]

how sweet it is (to be loved by you) - Chapter 3/9

Summary:

You are the head baker and owner of a struggling bakery. When pro hero Creati comes in for a wedding cake, of course you accept.

As a business owner, you are excited about the boom in profits resulting from the publicity of working a hero wedding.

As a baker, you are ecstatic to work on an extravagant cake - your most ambitious one to date.

As a woman, you are terrified as you begin to grow feelings for the one person you REALLY cant: the groom.

NOTES: NO infidelity, NO cheating, NO divorce!

Chapter One

MATURE : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT // 18+

3 Months Before the Wedding

The day is surprisingly warm for this time of year. The morning sky is clear and the air has that crisp type of cold that makes you want to curl up under a blanket. You leave your scarf undone as you walk back from the grocery store, swinging your items lightly in their bags. You have a pep in your step.

Well, you’ve had a pep in your step ever since the night of the cake tasting. And wow, what a night that had been.

Sitting under the winter night sky eating soba with Pro Hero Shouto at a small stand after bailing from a fancy restaurant is not how you ever planned your life to go. It’s something you know that you will remember fondly for years to come, and reminisce on after your life eventually goes back to normal.

The night itself was wonderful. Todoroki turned out to be not as serious as you initially thought, throwing the occasional joke into the conversation. The conversation itself flowed naturally, both of you keeping on relatively safe and easy topics. You actually have more in common with the rich hero than you had thought, such as your opinions on certain classic book series and films.

Honestly, when you had first suggested the small soba stand you didn’t know if the man would even eat there. Maybe he would take one look at its old but loved exterior and that princely outward appearance would sour with displeasure and superiority. Maybe Haru’s cheaper (yet still delicious) ingredients wouldn’t be up to his standards and he’d insult your old family friend by not finishing it. However, instead of any of that, the hero’s eyes had lit up immediately at seeing the stand in the distance. The man had seemed just as (or even more) excited to eat there and was beyond gracious to Haru.

Even Haru, a man who thought rich people were the root cause of every world problem, seemed to be won over by Todoroki. While he left you both to talk amongst yourselves for the meal, once the hero tried to pay, he waved him off and said the meal was on the house. Now, that wasn’t exactly out of place for Haru, but the look on Todoroki’s face had been hilarious. It was like he couldn't imagine not paying. It had resulted in an extremely amusing argument between the two, both insisting on getting their way. In the end, Haru won as he always did. The hero promised to return and bring others. It warmed your heart.

Afterward, Todoroki walked you back to the bakery, ignoring your initial protests. The conversation continued to flow naturally between you, only stopping for a few comfortable silence. If you were, to be honest, it was one of the best times you’ve had in a while. If it had been a date, you would say it was a perfect one.

But it wasn’t a date. It would never be, and you were a complete idiot for even letting the thought cross your mind.

The news segment playing on the giant billboard on your way home only cemented that fact. It was an interview with Pro Heroes Creati and Shouto. From what you can gather, the two had teamed up to take down a villain just outside of town. Creati was doing the most talking, comfortable in front of the cameras. Shouto seemed content to let her take the lead.

They compliment each other well. Personality-wise they seem perfectly compatible, and on the battlefield, their very different quirks work well together in most villain attacks. Both heroes are strong, with both long-distance and short-range attack capabilities and limited weaknesses. In all honesty, they are a near-perfect team.

Gossip magazines often wonder about their relationship, as they do for any of the top heroes. You wonder how they are going to react when the wedding happens. No announcement has been made yet, despite how close the date is getting. Maybe they will announce it last minute, or keep it secret entirely.

After a few moments, you look away and continue your walk. It’s a bit more solemn now, a weird feeling clawing up your throat. This is the first time you’ve seen either of them on tv since you accepted them as your clients. It has become a bit hard to coincide the image you have of the people you’ve spoken to on multiple occasions with the essential-celebrity Pro Heroes they are. Especially Todoroki, with his soft smiles and kind eyes.

You wonder when your perception of them began to change.

Walking back to the bakery, you once again go over your mental list of things you need to do to finish the cakes. The designs are complete by now (although you still want Todoroki’s approval for his groom's cake) and most of the non-edible and edible supplies have been ordered. You still need to work with the schedule a bit more to ensure you have enough time to complete the cakes. As it is, you can’t afford to hire another baker. You are looking into volunteer bakers and decorators from the local schools but it’s up in the air at the moment.

The air mists around your face as you sigh. You are already exhausted, and the actual cake baking hasn’t even begun yet. This has really better be worth it in the end.

A loud screech breaks you from your thoughts. You startle, mind coming back to the present as you pause in rolling the dough. Stretching upwards towards the ceiling, your back cracks in the most satisfying way. You can’t even care that flour rains down on you from your hands above.

Peeking at the clock (08:34 a.m) you finally turn towards the door to the kitchen, listening to hear if this is something you actually need to step out for. Kana can handle most things by now. After a moment, your name is called out. You take a cursory look around the kitchen to make sure you aren’t leaving anything dangerous, pull off your gloves, and head out to the back hallway.

Down the hall, Kana stands with her back to you. She is peering out the door to the front, back straight and tense. You frown, walking over. What could have this sort of reaction?

“What’s wrong?” You ask as you get closer. She looks back at your voice, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

“Shouto Todoroki is in the bakery.” The girl breathes heavily.

You blink slowly. “Huh?” “PRO HERO SHOUTO IS IN THE BAKERY!”

You wince. Ouch, okay. That was loud. Kana looks a bit ashamed at the tone of her own voice, face reddening slightly. “Sorry.” She whispers.

“It’s okay.” You assure her. “Um, so is that all?” “Is that all?! ” She replies, voice high-pitched.

Ah, right. Kana had never been around when the two-tone hero came by, and when Yaoyorozu popped in she was in disguise. The girl has no idea that the bakery is dealing with heroes. She’s probably extremely confused as to why a Pro Hero would be in the bakery.

To be fair, you had reacted with a similar panic the first time too.

“Are you a fan?” You ask, a small knowing smile forming as her face goes even redder. Sliding past the fangirling woman, you peer your head out.

Amongst the regular setting of the bakery is the two-toned hero. Todoroki stands near the counter, looking around at one of the local paintings on the wall. He is lucky that there are no other customers around. It’s rare for the bakery to be this quiet at this time, although...if you’re honest with yourself, it’s been steadily getting even quieter around the shop for a few weeks now.

Heterochromatic eyes lock onto yours. “Hello.” His mouth curls up into a smile as he looks at you. You flush a bit as you realize you probably look a mess, covered in flour as you are. Still, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you like this before.

“Hey!” You return his smile. “I’ll be right out, just gotta grab something real quick.” He nods, looking down at the display case. You turn on your heel and head back into the hall, pausing briefly to speak with your employee. “It’s okay, go back out. Just think of him as a regular customer.”

Kana doesn’t seem to register your words at all. “Wait, do you know him?”

What can you even say, legally? “Kinda”

Somehow, the girl looks even more surprised. She opens his mouth to speak, but you stop her line of questioning by pushing her lightly towards the front. She stumbles a bit, looking back at you with a pout, but does continue walking to the front.

By the time you join her with your notebook in hand, Kana is speaking with the hero. It’s obvious that she is a fan by her shaky words and awkward smile but Todoroki seems to be handling it with grace. He is probably used to it.

“Hey, Todoroki.” You interrupt when their conversation lulls a bit, letting the two-toned eyes shift to you. Kana looks relieved. “Here for some snacks?”

“Yes. I have a meeting in an hour.” “Of course.” You glance over at the display case, happy to see that you have quite a selection for him today. “What can I get you?”

“Whatever ones you think are best.”  

You pause, humming. “You know, I think Kana should pick.”

“What.” The girl looks at you with widening eyes.

“Yeah.” You say, looking back over to Todoroki for his assent. “I have something I want to show you anyways.” The hero tilts his head to the side in confusion, but nods.

As Kana struggles to decide what to give to a group of heroes, you motion the man over to the far end of the counter. You bring out the notebook and flip to the desired page before placing it on the counter.

It’s the final design of the groom's cake. Honestly, you think it looks pretty cool. It’s manageable, but still fun enough to be welcome at a hero's wedding. Todoroki looks down at the page but doesn’t say anything.

Eventually, a slight panic starts to rise in your chest. “Um, is it okay?” “It looks good.” That is his only response?

Okay. You were kind of hoping for more of a reaction. The cake is for him, after all. You look down at the cake design and wonder if maybe he is disappointed. Did he expect more from you? Maybe it is simply not flashy enough for such a huge fan of a hero like All Might. Although, that fact about the hero still confuses the hell out of you-

“You are really talented.”

Your head snaps back up to meet those eyes. Quickly you look away, not able to look any longer as you feel your face warm a bit at his compliment. It just sounds so sincere coming from that soft, deep voice.  “I-uh, I mean-” You stammer. “Are you sure it’s okay? Is there anything you want to change?”

“No.” He responds. You glance back at the hero, who looks vaguely amused. “It’s perfect.” The two of you look at each other, neither saying anything. Something flutters in your stomach. “Done!” Kana’s voice breaks the odd tension surrounding you. Quickly you reach over to close the notebook, ensuring that your workers wandering eyes won’t catch a peek. You place it in the crook of your arm and turn back to her.

“Uhh...Kana.” You look at the two large take-out bags that she seems to have stuffed with pastries and desserts. “That might be a little...much for a meeting.”

Kana looks between the bags and the hero with obvious concern in her eyes.  “I mean you didn’t tell me how much to put!” She accuses, embarrassed at being called out in front of the hero.

“It’s okay,” Todoroki speaks up, shaking his head as he heads over to her. “I’ll take it.” The young girl looks ecstatic at his response, perking back up instantly. You can’t help but chuckle as you make your way towards the till. “Are you sure?” You ask, just to be responsible in this situation. “It’s a lot of food.”

The hero nods, and that’s it. You really can’t afford to fight him on a sale. Luckily Kana kept track of the items in the bags, so you’re able to ring him up efficiently. The price is hefty, but the hero doesn’t flinch as he hands over a black card. Just the card feels more expensive than most things you own.

After a few minutes, the hero leaves, plunging the bakery back into silence. The only sound comes from the light copyright-free music coming over the speaker. Your heart calms a bit, and you take a breath. Why does that man always catch you so off-guard?

“Shit!” The sudden screech makes you jump, turning to face the only other occupant in the building.

“What?!’

Kana looks over to you with a horrified expression. “I didn’t ask him for an autograph!” She groans, bending over to place her head in her hands.

You let out a laugh and head into the back. It’s still early in the day, and Todoroki has depleted a good portion of your stock. Sure, it’s been quieter in the bakery recently, but you can’t afford to have your key items not available. It’s time to get back to the kitchen.

----

Somehow, after that day Todoroki becomes almost like a staple in your bakery. He comes on your quietest days of the week, and occasionally in disguise on your busier ones. It surprises you that none of your other customers recognize him, you know who he is the second he walks through the door no matter the disguise. He asks for a large random assortment of pastries and desserts every time he comes in, taking time to chat with you as your workers pack them up.

To their credit, your workers seem to be taking this odd development in stride. After Todoroki’s second appearance at the bakery, you got the feeling that he might return sometime. So you dragged both Kana and Tanaka aside when you had the chance and told them not to mention the heroes' visits to anyone. Kana, who really wanted to tell her friends, agreed when you said the hero might stop coming if he was mobbed. Tanaka had argued that the publicity would be good for the bakery (which he wasn’t wrong about) but still agreed not to say anything.

Both of your workers have now met the hero a few times, and you’re proud to say that they have exceeded your expectations in regards to the celebrity. While Kana always looks incredibly starstruck when he first comes in, she manages to act relatively normal around him. She actually managed to ask for an autograph, and practically squealed when he agreed. Tanaka spends his time making corny jokes, laughing as they go completely over the hero's head.

You are extremely happy that this is working out since you are usually in the back when the hero walks in. Normally, whoever is working will call you out right away. You’ll grab your notes and head out to talk to the hero as your worker packs up his treats, always subtly trying to get his opinions on both cakes. So far, your attempts have been futile. It’s like he honestly does not care. You usually end up ringing in his order, chatting with him until he has to head out.

It’s sort of a nice -if unexpected- ritual, honestly. You find yourself a bit more excited to start the day when you think he will appear.

So you’re kind of surprised one day when he doesn’t show up.

At first, you don’t notice. You’re in your own little baking world. Eventually, though, you glance at the clock and realize it’s an hour later than he usually comes in. Checking in with Kana confirms that he hasn’t shown up. You try to push away the feeling of disappointment that threatens to claw up your throat. What exactly do you have to be disappointed about? Todoroki doesn’t owe you anything. He’s a busy hero.

You busy yourself with your work for the day. With Todoroki buying so much of your supply recently, this is the first time you’ve actually had to cut down on your batch sizes in a while. Still, you have a large number of leftovers at the end of the day.

Kana had been sent home early due to the worsening weather. You finish up your closing tasks as quickly as possible, glancing at the relatively full display case a few times. They won’t sell tomorrow. Not with how slow it has been recently.

You look out the large window at the front of your store. The weather has definitely gotten worse, you see the tree across the way move roughly in the wind. The only small blessing is that the white dots hitting the window seem to be snow, not hail.

Do you risk it?

You haven’t had enough leftovers to warrant a run to the shelter in a while. Today though, you definitely could help a good amount of people. You don’t want to throw all of that in the trash. With a small huff, you start to carefully pack your creations away in your to-go bags. Once complete, you throw on your thin jacket and old boots, exiting the store.

Immediately, you sort of regret your choice. The wind rips roughly around you, sending freezing snow particles flying into your face. Ugh. You turn around and lock the door to the bakery, pocketing the key. Tucking your chin as much into your jacket collar as possible, you head down the street. Your only saving grace is that the wind seems to be blowing the same way as you. Sure, you can’t see as well with your hair blowing in your face, but at least it’s not that painful.

You hear a loud sound behind you, muffled a bit through the wind. Not really feeling up to dealing with whatever it is, you look down and shuffle your feet a bit faster.

“....!”

Oh, it's a voice, and it sounds much louder than before. Is someone following you? Heart jumping a bit, you pause in your steps and turn around. The wind and snow hit you immediately in your face, causing you to squint reflexively. You swap all of your bags to one hand and use the other to rub at your eyes.

Is that... “Todoroki?”

The red and white hero walks towards you, hair blowing roughly in the wind. You squint against the wind as he gets closer. He is wearing the same beautiful navy coat as before. The man is quick on his feet and covers the distance between you quickly to come to a stop in front of you. His tall frame mercifully blocks most of the wind and snow from reaching you, so you finally lower your hand and open your eyes fully.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” He actually looks contrite.

“It’s fine.” You reply instinctively, not liking that look on him. It takes you a moment to fully process that he is here. When you do, your hands move to wave in front of you, paper bags clashing against each other. “Ah, no no! It’s okay! You were probably busy.”

“Yes.” He nods. “There was a villain attack in Tokyo."

“That far?” You ask, surprised. How did he get back so quickly? “Well, I’m glad you are okay.”

A smile curls at his lips. “Thank you for being concerned about me.” His eyes flicker down to the bags in your hands. “Where are you going?” “Ah, these?” You lift them up a bit. “I’m taking the leftovers to the shelter.”

“I’ll come with you.”

Huh? “Oh, you don’t have to! It’s not that far.”

It’s almost as if he didn’t hear you. Todoroki reaches forward, hands gracefully taking half of the bags from your grasp. “Lead the way.”

So, once again you find yourself walking beside the hero down the street. In a weird way, you’re a bit thankful for the worsening weather. There are not many people outside, and those that are out are too focused on getting inside to notice the obvious hero in their midst.

“Are you cold?” Todoroki asks, after a few blocks. You glance over to him, catching his eyes.

Shaking your head, you reply. “I’m okay.”

“You should put on a warmer jacket.” He continues. “It would be bad to get sick.”

You look forward, unable to keep that eye contact. Of course, you should have put on a warmer jacket. If you had a warmer jacket, there is no way you would have left the bakery in this one. But, well, jackets are expensive, and the worst part of winter is almost done. You can make it another year. “Ah, yes. I must have grabbed the wrong one.” A horrible attempt at a lie.

The hero makes a thoughtful sound but doesn’t say anything else. For a moment you both walk in silence. Then you feel something on your shoulders. You startle a bit, glancing over at the warmth suddenly surrounding you. You are covered in something navy coloured-

Wait.

Your feet stop moving and your face heats up. “Wait.” You turn to look at the hero with wide eyes. “You can't- I mean, what about you?”

Todoroki paused just a step ahead of you, looking back at you with an odd expression. His cheeks are a bit red, from the cold? You reach up to slide the coat off, pausing when one of his hands comes to cover yours. “I’m pretty good with cold temperatures.”

The hand that covers yours is warm, but the other comes up into view covered in ice. Oh.

Right.

“Still-”

You’re forced to stop mid-argument as Todoroki begins walking again, legs rushing to catch up with him. The coat is extremely warm. You can’t help but reach up to pull it more around you as you walk.

The hero glances over at you as you catch up, a surprisingly satisfied look on his face. You stick out your tongue at him (briefly, it’s too cold out) as a response for him just walking away. The look on his face softens a bit, and he chuckles.

The weather continues to get worse as you walk, but luckily you are nearing the shelter. It looms up ahead, a small building nestled amongst others. Todoroki comes in with you, quietly following as you drop off the bags. The normal worker that you deal with is in. The man doesn’t seem to even recognize the hero behind you, simply taking your items with a genuine thank you. You assume he’s extremely busy, given the weather.

By the time you head out, the world around you is almost completely white. It’s a blizzard. Even Todoroki’s coat around you won’t keep you warm for long out there. You frown as you look around, trying to think of a potentially faster route home.

“There’s a cafe open over there.” Todoroki’s deep voice rings out through the wind.

“Hm?” You look over at the lit-up cafe a few stores down, recognizing the name. “Yea, I’ve heard they have good coffee.”

“Do you want to go?”

“What? Now?” “You don’t want to?” He looks over.

“Ah, sorry.” You shake your head. "I was a bit lost in my own thoughts. That’s a good idea to wait out the storm.” At least, you hope the storm will lessen at some point. You really do have to head home eventually. The two of you start towards the little cafe.

The cafe is nice and warm and empty. There seem to be two baristas working, one wiping down tables while the other stands behind the cafe. Both are looking out various windows, probably wondering if the snow will lighten up sometime before their shifts are over.

A surprising pressure on your lower back forces you further into the cafe. You look over, eyes wide as you realize that Todoroki's arm disappears behind you. You flush a bit as he leads you gently towards the till. The barista there startles as you both walk up, eyes staring widely at the hero. How does he deal with this every day? Still, the girl masks her surprise relatively well and a customer service smile forms on her face.

“Good evening, how can I help you today?” You glance up at the menu for a moment. “Hojicha tea please.” Todoroki looks down at you, an eyebrow raised. “I eat too many sweets at work, sometimes I need something different."

“And anything for you...sir?” The barista continues.

“Same for me, please.” He orders. The girl taps away at the cash register, the total appearing on a little screen above it. You reach for your pocket, only to come up empty. Right, you didn’t bring any money with you. It’s not like you expected to be going anywhere. The hand behind you moves, slipping into the pocket of the navy coat you are wearing. It's a weird feeling. Todoroki grabs his wallet, opening it up to present a black card to the barista.

“I’ll get the next one.” You mutter.

“Alright.” He replies smoothly, taking the card back and pocketing the wallet in his pants pocket. It's only then that you realize you essentially just demanded another outing with the man. You suck in a breath, holding it. What the hell are you doing?

“Please take a seat, I will bring the tea over when it’s ready.” The barista nods over to the tables.

Todoroki goes to head over, but you pause. “If you want to close down please just tell us and we’ll leave.” You smile kindly. “I own a shop, I understand.” The barista’s eyes you oddly. “Thank you.” She whispers, and you nod before head over to the table.

You sit opposite Todoroki, close your eyes, and feel yourself relax immediately into the chair. The warm, welcoming cafe atmosphere has already done wonders for your stress levels. “You are very cautious around workers.”

Opening your eyes a slit, you see him staring straight at you with interest. You smile softly. “Have you...ever worked in customer service?”

“I haven’t.” He shakes his head. You're not surprised by his answer.

“It...can be tough.” You admit. “Customers can be extremely demanding, rude, and demeaning. I once had someone pick up and throw the cash register at me for not having an item in stock.”

Todoroki’s eyes are wide. “Really?”

“Really.” You chuckle. “And managers can be even worse. They focus on profits, and don’t care about their workers.” You glance over at the barista making your tea. “Some would insist the baristas keep the store open even in dangerous weather, on the off chance that a customer would come in.”

Todoroki follows your gaze to the baristas. After a moment, he looks back at you. His eyes shine with understanding. “You are a very kind person.” That makes you sit up straight.  “Ah, not really.” You insist. “I’m just normal.”

The barista picks that moment to deliver your tea. She has the teapot in hand, with some mugs for both of you to drink out of. Placing it down carefully, she warns you of the high temperature and head back to her work. Todoroki pours for both of you, and you sit in comfortable silence as you sip your drinks while the blizzard rages outside.

It takes a while, but eventually the storm does begin to lighten up. The tea doesn't last much longer, but neither of you is in a rush to move. The conversation begins easily between you, and continues to flow just as it had the night of the soba stand.

It’s only when you happen to catch the clock on the wall when you realize you’ve been sitting here for hours. You decide to leave, for the sake of the workers. The two of you pack up and head outside. When you step out, you remember that you are still wearing the hero's coat. You try to give it back, honestly, but he insists you wear it until you get home.

The walk back to the bakery is filled with comfortable silence, both of you lost in thought. You can’t help but feel a bit relieved as your home comes into view, an anchor of reality in this weird, yet nice night. Todoroki stands behind you as you unlock your door, a silent guardian against any villains that might be stalking around the area.

Once the door is unlocked, you turn back to the man to say goodnight and hand back his coat. You pause. The hero suddenly looks a bit awkward, heterochromatic eyes flickering between you and the wall beside you. You open your mouth to ask if he is okay when he blurts out. “Can I give you my phone number?”

What? He looks up at you, eyes wide with an unreadable glint in that two-toned gaze. Your heart clenches painfully at the expression on his face. “Yeah, sure.”

A soft smile pulled at the edge of his lips. You reach into your pants pocket and grab your phone, tossing it to him. He catches it gratefully. You watch as he fiddles with it to find your contact list, a brief moment of panic running through you as you wonder about what the last thing you were looking at. But whatever it was, he doesn't seem fazed. After about a minute he hands back your phone.

The light from it is bright in the dark. You look down at the screen. It displays your new contact information.

[ Contact: Shouto Todoroki ]

[meraki-kintsukuroi]

a star is dying, but the universe won't let it.

(or alternatively: you're burning out like a dying star but these hands that have loved you even long before will never let you go, even if it means getting burnt along.)

tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, light angst, soft fluff, references to depression and to the pandemic, and maybe probably a bit of child abuse it doesn't happen though its just mentioned, implied long-distance relationship, space, morbid, and colour metaphors, discussions about death and dying, shit writing and word vomit (bc im rusty as hell).

pairings : kindaichi yuutaro/reader (gn! reader & ambiguous relationship bc ytf not)

wc : 1, 755

a/n: dedicated to @haru-senji for being in the same situation as I and to all the other people who are as well, hang in there you guys, love you and please stay safe <3.

"Hey 'tarou are you up...?", Yuutarou hears you call out to him in the dark, breaking the silence in the night with your voice faint and small, almost lost against the loud howling wind of the dim sky.

He shifts, twisting his body to where you are, and in the dark--despite of it all--reaches for you when you don't pull or push him away and squeezes the hand you let him hold.

(Intimacy between skin has always been a line you jump in and out of and yuutaro wonders if there ever could be a day where he can hold you without you flinching or shrinking away, and without him saying that its okay despite the hurt in his heart or the deep open scars in yours.)

"Mm, yeah..?", he asks, voice a deep low rasp from the silence that had long been stretching between you, "What is it?"

There is a pregnant pause before you speak. It stretches long and wide much like the ones before and he can't help but be reminded of sea and the sky and he thinks that even in the vastness of it all with you besides him, your backs against the grass of some far away place, underneath all the darkness and twinkling nights, and far away from all uninvited eyes. He thinks that if you were to say anything here and now he would keep it lock in his chest until the day he died.

(Because happiness is limited in a world that is almost at its limit, only holding on to whatever thin silver lining there was to just not fall into the void of nothingness and cease to exist.)

"Do you know how a star is born?",

The ex-volleyball captain blinks once and then twice, and thinks of a grand king who he had served for three long years, of a boy turned king-enemy, to a friend that he had found once lost, of a gymnasium so big that it had to be the whole universe with how many stars, planets, and other celestial bodies there had been, but no matter how much he had thought of it, those astral objects that he had thought of was only at their prime and not at their beginning.

(Those people, those upperclassmen, those players, those rivals, his teammates, had been and always been stars--the moon, the sun, the planet--his universe.

He wonders how proud, those who have seen them at their very beginning feel? To see the rock with no fuel burn with utmost energy along with others who are just as bright as them.)

"No, I don't.", He says, a quiet thing and hears you hum, before feeling you twist and turn before finally settling again, not once letting his hand go as you did so.

(He does not comment on how closer you are to him now, afraid you'd pull away and distance yourself from him again.)

"How about when they die?", you ask him instead, and across the vast meadow he hears the crickets chirping this season's song "Do you know how they die?"

Yuutaro closes his eyes, and thinks of an explosion, of bright colours and a supernova exploding in the expanse of space, of the destruction that follows the grief that comes along with the loss of something as bright as a star.

He thinks of the king-prince-boy and how he had exploded into nothing but colours of red, black, and blue of the grand king who had burst out crying hues of green, grey, and teal, of a dark black empty gym with no bright light or palette in sight.

"They, uh, collapse i think...?" He says trailing off, trying to rack his left part of the brain of the lessons he hadn't slept in science class, "Yeah they do--And then they, they, uh... explode into supernovas? Yeah they explode into supernovas." He finishes unhappy but accepting all the same.

It's not like he was as blunt but smooth with his words just like his best-friend, not sweet like honey, or rough but straight to the point. He was still an awkward, tongue tied, and still fumbling idiot even after all this time. Even when he had hit a growth spurt or even after hitting a major milestone in his life, He was still the tall awkward boy people know who had just grown into an adults body to fit an adult's clothes.

You hum again, and he feels you inching closer, but not close enough to hold you the way he wants to--needs to--

(He pushes the greed--the fear of loosing you--letting go of you away. He can't, does not, will never be selfish, he can't allow it, not when he knows all too well what happens to you and the people around you, suffer through all too well.)

"Do you think we'll go out like that?", you ask him again, voice almost like a child afraid, "Like a supernova exploding in colours?"

He feels you shift again, and this time he thinks you're much closer to him than before and he thinks that you might be facing him this time too, he doesn't know it's too dark to see (but even so, even so, even so please come closer so I can hold you so--)

"Or do you think, we'll go out like a daisy crushed by the one who's supposed to take care of it?"

And something about that question, something about the way you say those words, makes his heart scream and mind twist in agony.

Because he thinks of the world, and how its marching to an unknown point and how much its scaring people. Thinks of you and your home that's only getting so much colder with each day passing. Thinks of himself and how he's just like a ghost wandering with a lover that's slowly collapsing--dying underneath the weight, of the pain of it all, that's too much for them to bear and not being able to do anything about it because-- "the only person who can save you is yourself, and you know that better than anyone else Yuutaro." His mother had once said.

And he knows, he knows, he knows, he goddamn knows, that things are getting worse for you--for him-and for everyone else, but he will fight God and his angels if it meant at least being able to carry some of the burden you had to carry all because the people who was suppose to do it but couldn't so you had to learn how to carry it all by yourself even after all this time.

Because Yuutaro with all his awkwardness and flaws had never been alone.

You however, have been painfully all by your lonesome.

And you meant to him that much to say the least.

"I don't know really." he murmurs truthfully, and squeezes your hand as an I'm sorry that i can't help you lift your pain that I was years too late to even try to do so and now you're hurting so much that you're almost at you're breaking point, and even if you don't know why or what, he still tries to.

Because he was just a ghost with no body or home wandering around this world, trying his darn best to find himself again for a lover that's slowly collapsing and loosing the brightness that they once were.

"Lots of people die in many ways you know?", He says not having one single clue about what's he saying but continues on because happiness is a fickle thing and is it selfish of him to hold your hand and keep you safe from the monsters that was supposed to love you for a bit much longer?

"We're not stars or flowers or anything,", He says with a finality he didn't know he had.

"We're people and we die when we die.", he goes on to say, and he thinks of an accident on the news, a tragedy in a script, and a genocide written on the history books, and thinks that for all the fire and hydrogen or whatever that makes up a star, planet, comet, or whatever. They were all still painfully human even on their last moments.

That they'd all bleed, cry, turn ugly, and at the end of it all die in more ways than one, because humanity is a fickle thing and they were no different.

That he was still human despite being a ghost of he once was, that you were still human even if you were a rotting corpse murdered by the monsters that were your own flesh and blood by the burdens and self-projections that they always had.

That the tyrant he had hated so much was just a boy underneath all the gore, grime, and blood, and that the grand king he had served underneath all the gold and silver and bronze was just human too.

They all were.

"But what if someone wants to go already and the people around them don't want them to...?" He hears you mutter softly, and he squeezes your hand again replying.

"Then don't.", He mutters tiredly just as much you are to the world, the monsters, and at yourself, "Live."

"Do you think we'll ever...", you trail off, and he knows from your tone that you must be struggling with what words to say so he squeezes your hand again because this is the only way you'll let him show his love for you other than his presence (because you're so, so, so scared and he is too, for you and for him as well.)

"Live again?"

Because he's a ghost of a star cluster once formed and you're a rotting corpse of a white dwarf floating in space with no way or direction to what home once was.

"I don't know really.." He says again, and crosses the gap between you deciding fuck it and presses his forehead against yours pushing on as he goes on, "But we'll cross the bridge when we get there all right?"

You don't pull away nor you push him away, instead you tense before relaxing again, and this time instead of him you're the one who squeezes his hand instead.

"Yeah we'll cross the bridge when we get there."

And in the dark--despite the dark, he thinks that maybe you're smiling in what it seems for a long while now, and he thinks that maybe, maybe he is too.

(And when morning comes maybe you both start trying to live again.)