#✦ — • thewholecrew • nate •

[deathvisited]

12 years of letters

9 years after leaving

it's your 9th birthday and i'm trying to imagine what you would be interested in. do you like reading? do you enjoy monsters and fairytales? do you love horses? do you like disney movies? or are you into superheroes and villains? do you like marvel and comic books? are you into riding dirt bikes or are you playing with dolls? there is so much I don't know about you my beautiful girl, and yet I like to sit here and imagine that you are doing something that you love. that your dad is making this the best day of the year, as it should be, that he is celebrating the gift of you in his life. i can't imagine anything else, you are to me a blessing, each and every day. and so today, on your ninth birthday, I wish you nothing but happiness and joy, that you smile so brightly and widely that your face hurts, that you laugh until your stomach aches, and I wish more than anything that my absence doesn't dim your day. i hope my shadow doesn't darken your brightness, I hope that you can forget about me, to run and play, whether it's with dolls or toy soldiers and that you are spoiled as much as your dad can provide.

i cannot wait until i'm able to share your birthday with you, if I ever get that gift I promise I won't take it for granted. if I was able to this day would be entirely about you, we'd go out and do whatever you wanted, you'd be able to pick out anything and there would be no such thing as 'no' for you today. i would shower you with love and kisses, i'd have woken you up with your favourite breakfast food and you'd be off school today. i'd love nothing more than to spend the day sitting and giggling with you about everything and anything, and I miss you more than words can say. i cannot wait to meet you Fia and I can only hope that you don't hate me. if you do I'll understand that, I really will, there is no explanation that will make sense for you right now, but one day it might, when you're older. but I'm doing this for you, and more than anything I wish that I could be with you.

as always you are with me every day, of every minute, of every breath, and you always will be my beautiful, beautiful girl.

10 years after abduction

do you remember that time that we snuck into the movie theatre and spent the afternoon there? we watched every movie they had on offer and no one figured us out. i felt so free then, so wild, as if we could conquer the world. i thought you were the height of cleverness, that I had never met a man that's soul sang so closely to my own. it wasn't long after that that I realized there was a difference between us. you're ... not soft, but kind, tender, you err on the side of being gentle whereas I don't think I have any gentleness in me. i think my mother burned it out right alongside my self respect and dignity. i think it was abandoned in the back of a room where I had to take my clothes off and do what I was told. i believe I shed that gentleness when I realized that fia would never be safe from my mother. that she would be hunted, and hurt, and used, like I had been.

i have many regrets nate, leaving you is not one of them.

i've spent 10 years getting everything together to eventually come back, and yet now.... well. i don't know if I have the gentleness to face my daughter if she is anything like you. what if she sees nothing but the bitter twisted corpse that I am remaining? what if you see that? i am terrified of presenting myself to the both of you, but I also know that I am too selfish to stay away. i believe you're happy, I have to. if you're not I have nothing but apologies, but I can promise you that the bitter twisted monster I have become isn't your doing, and I only hope that you benefit from it.

i hope that you are able to recognize me when I walk back into your life and don't gasp in horror and fear at the changes that I have wrought in myself.

i hope that you are able to see the girl that you lit up and turned into something so very different from the broken mirror I had been. you patched me together once without even realizing it, and although I don't expect you to do it again I have hope. then again you might just send me away when you see me and how could I fault you for that?

i am scared beyond words to face you.

11 years after abduction

i'm almost done, and that terrifies me, I have spent so long with this plan, so meticulously long, and I can't even get praise for it. no one will know, not even you, if you ever get this. i do not want to see the horror in your eyes, or the fear on your face when you realize what i can do, what i will do to protect my family. because you are my family. i refuse to think of you or fia as anything else, and i will make sure you are safe. by any means necessary. i refuse to live in a world where you may be in danger and so I'll make certain that you won't be.

i hope that you can forgive me.

i hope that i can forgive myself.

i hope that you don't hate me.

*scribbled out words* because i hate me, I hate myself every day I look at her and know that she drove me to this, but I also love her and seeing her slow decay has killed me right alongside her

i love you. i love fia. i loved our family and sooner than later I'll be with you again. please just give me a chance to explain, please forgive me at least for protecting the both of you.

@thewholecrew

[deathvisited]

sebastian wasn't surprised at nates easy agreement, the guy seemed agreeable to everything. he was affable in a way that mystified sebastian quite honestly. how could someone be quite so easy going, and it not be fake? that was the question wasn't it? it was why he'd been hesitant to be friendly with the guy, kassy and callum both said he was good people and so sebastian was giving him a chance. under much duress, considering his social circle was small for those that he considered friends and well, verity and kassy were close enough that he'd agreed. what could it hurt? right? he looked at the tray of drinks that were delivered to him and bemoaned the fact that kassy hadn't called ahead and gotten them a table, but he was lingering at the bar in hopes of recieving one. they came here often enough that they were recognized afterall.

"there's some places that are definitely that, but they wouldn't be representative of the community, i don't think," then again he tended to avoid those places these days. red rooms and women in cages, and sure there were dancers that were elevated but it was mostly a mix of groups of people enjoying themselves. coming into the club meant consent to see and experience pretty much anything that could be done within eye view. it was why it was one of his favourite places to bring the boys, a safe space to work out his exhibitionism without violating peoples consent. "so you're pretty.... standard, huh?" he asked, a soft laugh leaving him. "nothing wrong with that, it's just always fun seeing someones cherry popped," he added, sipping this second drink.

his issues with caleb aside he was happy to see his boys dancing and having fun, carefree and happy. it was part of the reason he was so fucking hesitant to even be here with them, he was complicating both of their lives by being in the middle and he hated that. so focusing on nates first time here was a great distraction honestly. "it can be, depends on what you like and don't like. the rooms are just more private and don't really provide an audience unless you want to," he explained, setting his drink on the tray as he eyeballed a waiter hurrying past with another one. he wanted to flag one of them down so he wouldn't have to come back to the bar again. "oh we're absolutely a bunch of kinky mother fuckers, but with kink comes consent, we won't force you into it."

he looked back at nate with a wide grin, wiggling his eyebrows at him. "interested you say, and you're willing to learn? i can help you out with that if you want, i'm great at answering questions, or kassy honestly, we're both..... dominant is probably the tamest explanation. it just depends on where you guys are looking to explore." he would be lying if he wasn't curious about who was the leader between the two of them. looking at them from the inside out verity was the stronger personality, nate with his easy going nature would probably be an adorable brat, but he could easily see verity being the dom to nates sub and sebastian was just nosy enough to be curious about it. nabbing a bartender he explained, pointing to the empty booths before nodding with a grin before he turned back to nate. "perfect, i got us a booth, so we can go relax and not have to be drink carriers all night."

@deathvisited: nate & sebastian. / verse: modern.

"oh, of course," nate laughed at that with a shrug, fingers drumming against the bar top that he leaned against. it wasn't as though he had been opposed to coming though so it didn't take much convincing, especially with how excited verity had seemed. there was no way he was going to do anything to jeoperdize the way those blue eyes sparkled or the bright smile she wore on her face. plus, with the knowledge that callum came to these kinds of places? he had no excuse.

with his and verity's drink delivered to him, he took a sip of his own as curious green eyes continued to examine all that was around him. the decorations on the outer walls, the outfits people wore, he swore he saw some woman leading a handful of people past with leashes. it was bizarre to him but not necessarily in a bad way and hey, who was he to yuck other people's yums? he was oblivious to the eyes on him as he glanced back at sebastian, a brow raising before he gave another soft laugh. "i guess, uhhh, maybe a little more... tacky? no offense. it's definitely not.. it's a nice place but, dunno, guess i don't have much to go off." all he really knew was that it was kind of a taboo?

at the mention of back rooms, nate looked over at sebastian trying to figure out if he was joking or not. something told him he wasn't and he gave a good humoured scoffed, "oh good, that sounds like great fun," he mused only half joking. he wasn't against a little exhibition but in a place like this? he wasn't so sure, might need verity to bat her lashes at him a couple more times than usual to get him to agree to something like that. it made sense though that this was sebastians scene, he looked very much at home in a place like this, same with kassy. "wow, didn't all of you were just a bunch of kinky fuckers," nate joked playfully.

it was a little relieving to know that people here kept their hands to themselves, that they wouldn't be pushy or try to whip him out of nowhere or speak to him like he was a dog. again, he would be honest in how ignorant he was with this whole community. most he ever heard about it before speaking a bit with verity was that god awful book middle aged moms liked, fifty shades of guys or something like that. sebastians question had him shrug, "yeah, i mean, i wouldn't say i know much about it but ver's..." he trailed off as his eyes found her back at their booth, keeping to himself how freaky she can be because it wasn no one's business but theirs. "she's interested and i'm always down to learn something new so," he shrugged with a cheeky grin, raising his drink to seb before taking another sip.

[headstrongblake]

was any of it true? / kass & nick / @thewholecrew

 every second nick's been locked away from kassy is painful, but nothing compared to the stabbing sensation that works its way through his body at the sight of her when she does come see him. of what he’s done to her. now, staring back at the agony he’s caused her, he’d do anything to take it back. but he can't. this was the only option. now, all he has left is his effort to convince her that he hasn't been lying. they are his people. his chosen family. people he'd do anything to protect, especially from his father. ever since she's entered his cell, she's kept a distance, but as she crosses to him, hissing to know if anything he's said or done this past months has been true, he feels a tiny trickle of relief. she may look at him with hate right now. but love and hate were such a thin line, this he could work with.

"every moment," nick confessed. "every second i've been near you, all of it is true, kassy, you've gotta believe me." he deserves the cruel scoff, and her disbelieving gaze. but he continues, unwavering from his position, "you don't understand my da...he's a bloody brilliant hunter, he would've made sure. he..." nick strained against his metal shackles, wishing he could be closer to her as his voice filled with painful emotion, "you would've stayed dead, and he woulda kept octavia like some kind of animal, caged. torturing her until he knew exactly how to kill her. the only one who might've gotten away unscathed is grant and only, only because he fades away like ash," his voice broke, unable to continue his rambles as a defeated sigh left his body, leaning against the dungeon wall. anguish filled his eyes as he looked at kassy, watching how despairingly his choice weighed on her. if he could have foreseen any other option that never would have left kassy heartbroken, he would've done it. but this...there was no other choice. it's the only way he could ensure their safety and he had to. he had to protect them.

"are they..." nick's eyes lowered for the first time, unwilling to hold her furious gaze as his guilt festered, swamping him with grief as his jaw clenched tightly. he'll never be able to erase the image of grant's disintegrating body. the sound of octavia's horrific screams as he fell to the ground. how betrayed she looked as she slowly died at his feet. god, he hated how cruel he had to appear before his father. how much he had to hide his heart behind steel to not break as kassy and the others died by his very hand. thank god for nate. it was hard enough to end octavia, even temporarily. he knew he didn't have it in him should he hold kassy's fate in his hands. at the thought of nate, instant panic surged through him, head snapping up as his eyes looked past kassy to the darkness. was nate alive? surely he had to be. if he was, that had to mean nate was too. just locked up like he would remain. that calmed the race in his heart a touch until his regretful yes met kassy. "are they awake...?" he asked, refraining from asking if grant or octavia were okay.

[deathvisited]

3 months after being taken

her hand shook as it held the pen, her eyes lifting to look at her closed and locked door before swivelling to the camera in the corner. biting her lip she scooted up the bed, raising her knees and using them as a desk before she started writing.

"hey baby girl, you'll be a year old in a month, and I can hardly believe it. i know you probably won't ever believe me but I wanted to see your first birthday, watch you smash vanilla cake in your cute chubby face, hear you laugh and giggle when your daddy picked you up. i didn't want to leave baby girl, i know no matter what you're gonna have the best birthday ever. I'm sorry i won't be there to see you go through this milestone, and while I'm not there physically i am mentally, i won't forget. I'll light a candle for you. and i know you probably don't understand why I'm not there, that you probably miss me, but momma's trying to save you from the same fate i went through. i will protect you, and I've come to accept that where i am right now that's the best thing i can do. you have been the best thing that ever happened to me." she sniffled, wiping her cheeks as tears rolled down them, leaning back and biting her lip. things had been hard for a long time with fia, she'd struggled a lot, she knew she had, she hadn't always been the best mom, but she'd done her very best. she was still struggling with everything, and the fact that she had to hide all of it just made it all the harder. "i know that your daddy has probably talked to you about me, but if he hasn't don't blame him too much, you know? he's doing his best to look after his family, he's always done that. you are in the best place i could hope for, and i just wish i was there with you."

6 months after being taken

verity was nursing the bruise with a glass of scotch sitting beside her before her eyes slid to her desk. she wrote fia every week as a sort of ritual these days, but today she felt drained, tired, worn down. her eyes closed as she took another sip of her drink, her hands shaking. she didn't know if she could do this, it was all so much worse that she had remembered. maybe it was the distance of time that helped soften the edges of cruelty and lack of empathy she encountered, a way to stay sane after having survived it. she had to get back in her mothers good graces sooner or later and then maybe she'd stop being put on the floor. maybe that would be enough. laying her head down on her desk she cried silently, her shoulders still. any sign of weakness and her mother would hold it against her. she needed a break, and tonight had been anything but that. rising a little unsteadily from her vanity she picked her way across her clothes strewn room to her bed before digging out the journal. she had no privacy anymore, at least before she'd been able to hide in her bedroom but now there was an extremely visible camera, and more that she likely couldn't see. still.... she pulled out the fairytale book she'd hollowed out, the letters inside it before setting her drink on the night table beside her.

"hey you, i've been too scared to write you I think...... i know you don't understand, and why would you? i never told you exactly what my life was before I was gone. i never wanted you to know, or look at me differently, I didn't want to see the pity in your eyes. i wanted you to be my sanctuary and maybe I made it so that that was too true. you didn't know, and you didn't understand the fear and horror I felt when I looked down at our little girl and was so scared that i'd ruin her. i didn't hold that against you, but I was failing you, and fia, and myself. i wanted to be the best wife I could be, and yea.... we were young, oh so young to have a little girl, but I wanted to be your fairytale dream girl, so fun and bright and bubbly while I raised our child and instead of I was dark and full of nightmares. i felt lost, like I wasn't myself anymore --- the self i'd found with you --- and that you couldn't see that, that you didn't care and I was jealous of both fia's relationship with you and your relationship and dedication to her. i wouldn't have wanted it any other way, but everything seemed to come so effortlessly to you, and I was just ruining everything. i didn't leave, I was taken and maybe that's how I should start this, explaining my life and who I am and what I was made to be. because that's what I am, a construct of my mothers wishes, her desire for power, and the way she thought she could get it. she had me simply because she wanted someone that could replicate her life but do it better, I was trained the same way she was, I was made to be her mirror image, except I was a little broken, a little crooked, not the perfect daughter she wanted. she started grooming when I was 7, and it just progressed from there. when we found each other I was running from her, I know you never pried and I appreciated that, but..... my life was a living horror show of both hating my mother and loving her endlessly and hoping for her approval. she took me, and she didn't know about you and fia and..... i don't think I can come back until shes gone, it's too dangerous. she'd see fia as another chance to make the perfect daughter and I can't allow that. i hope that one day, if you ever get this, you'll forgive me because i don't know if i can forgive myself. i love you. i love fia. i loved our family and maybe you really are better off without the taint of me in your life."

@thewholecrew

[deathvisited]

they're gonna love you . like i do . / nate & ver fae --- @thewholecrew

verity had insecurities that ate at her as she looked out over the sea of faces that had gathered in sebastians lands. it had become a refuge for those refugee's that were escaping from nates lands and now.... she sucked in a breath smoothing down her dress. her palms were sweaty and her skin was running with goosebumps, if any of them were from rifthold they'd know her, they'd be aware of the fact of what and who she'd been, possibly. how would they look at her then if they did? moreover what if they found out after the fact? their king with a whore? she shuddered, blue eyes closing as her hands gripped the banister of the balcony she was looking out over. she was hidden from the crowds but now..... she gasped sharply as arms wrapped around her from behind, jumping as she looked over her shoulder. "nate," she breathed his name as relief washed over her.

he looked beautiful in the golden outfit that kassy had had made with for him, this wasn't a formal cornoration but it was a presentation to the people he'd be ruling one day. she was.... not fit to be a queen, maybe a consort, but nate wouldn't hear a thing about it, every time she said a single thing raising concerns about how she'd be regarded he'd dismiss it. then again.... "i don't know if i should go out there with you," she murmured, turning in his arms and hands smoothing up his chest to fix his collar. "i think it'll make too much of a statement," his hands settled on her waist as she fiddled with his collar which was already perfect from whoever had helped him get into this get-up.

"so what?" he asked, his hands smoothing up and down her sides, her hair tickling the back of his hands as she tipped her head back and looked up at him. "so you know i'm nervous about how they'll feel about me," she murmured, eyes avoiding looking directly into his green ones and instead focusing on his clothing and smoothing the lapels down of the long jacket. "so maybe i should just.... stay away from the presentation, they don't need to meet me, they want to meet their king, they want hope," she emphasized the last word because it was true. it was dark times with everyone fleeing from their country and into fae and having to cross these strange lands by themselves after living in a completely human world.

his hands smoothed up her back until he gripped her head carefully so as not to muss her hair and the flower crown that alec had woven through the braid that ringed her head. "they're gonna love you, like i do," his words were reassuring but..... she sucked in a breath as he bent to kiss her, eyes falling closed as he deepened it. the sweetness of it all almost made her want to cry, tears burning behind her eyes when he broke it. "i want you there with me because you will be my queen," his face winced at the word and she grinned, knowing he hated being referred to as king, even though that was exactly what he was going to be. "so we go together or i don't go at all." and how was she supposed to not go with him and deny him this chance to see his people? to make them real to him? "alright, fine, but leave those words alone," she said, stepping back and smoothing down the blue dress that draped her in grecian like folds. "lets go before i lose my nerve."

[deathvisited]

who would you rather hate you for the rest of your life? nate or fia? - to verity

she wouldn't ever hate either of them, honestly. who could i see her potentially hating? nate. absolutely. while her relationship with fia is strained at times because she was absent verity did absolutely fucking everything for her daughter. she could not image hating her in any world honestly. she can't ever see herself hating nate either, but if she had to pick one it'd be him. her daughter is her shining light and she'd do absolutely atrocious things to make sure she was always safe and secure, and if protecting fia meant hating nate (or letting him hate her) she'd absolutely do that without another thought.

@thewholecrew

[deathvisited]

❛  stop being so stubborn. i'm trying to help you.  ❜ / nate

she glared at him as she wrapped the bandage around her hand, teeth gritted. "i don't need your help," she spit. she'd only gotten herself into this situation because of him in the first place! she didn't put herself at risk ever, and it had only been because of him she'd even agreed to this stupid job him and his gang had cooked up. they were being led by psychopaths and one of them was an addict, how were they supposed to have good plans? he tsked at her and took her hand firmly in his own ignoring her words with a dismissive wave.

'you need to clean this,' he pointed out calmly which honestly just made her want to hit him. "i wouldn't have gotten cut if your friend hadn't broken that vase," she pointed out, even as she squirmed and gritted her teeth as he poured alcohol over the wound on her hand. it had been a silly plan, and she'd told him that, but she'd followed along with it because he'd been going and he was too dumb to say no to them.

that wasn't fair, he was much street smarter than she was, and he'd assured her they'd make it out fine, and they had. other than her hand getting cut and almost getting caught. she pouted as she started wrapping her hand up again, blue eyes looking up at him with a sigh as her anger slowly seeped away. "why can't i stay mad at you?" she huffed, her knees on either side of him giving him a squeeze. his smile was breath stopping, mind tilting, world changing as she looked at her with those green eyes. 'cause i'm just always right,' he teased which had her laughing, her pain easing with it. he pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before patting it. 'there all good,' he murmured as he held onto her hand.

"i still think it was a dumb idea to sneak in through the window when i could have gotten in through the front door," she huffed, flexing her hand with a small wince before hopping down off the box he'd deposited her on. 'yea, but that wouldn't have been as much fun.' probably not, but she wasn't ever going to admit that to him.

[deathvisited]

❛ could this be a trap ? ❜ / nate & seb fae --- @thewholecrew

they had been travelling for about three days and as they went towards his lands they were getting to the point they'd all have to split. that discussion had went about as well as one could expect but it wasn't safe to bring both of them, regardless of whether or not they were mated and didn't want to be separated, it just wasn't safe. they'd both trusted him enough to listen to him this far but he wasn't surprised when nate rode up to join him. the silence was thick and heavy as they rode and sebastian did nothing to break it. he was leaving his own people behind to present verity to the queen, partly because it was his duty and he didn't want to bring kassy and her people into the danger of the court, and partly because it was the little that he could to appease her.

he didn't trust her anymore, he'd realized that after he'd found verity with grant, his trust had been fracturing for years and had started 22 years ago when she'd refused to help the fae stuck in nate's fathers lands and now..... "could this be a trap?" nates words broke the silence and had sebastian looking over at him as they rode before giving a slow nod. "it could be," he admitted. "but the chances of it being this obvious are very low." he added. "it's true the queen would love to get her hands on another water fae and verity is special in the sense that she doesn't just heal... she's strong nate, in a way we haven't seen in years. just like you are," he looked back over at nate, a brow raising. he knew the boy had trouble with his powers and there was a fear there, but he needed to master them.

they were running out of time and he wasn't sure how he knew that, but he could feel it like a weight in the air. this trip to the queens court was going to be a turning point. "the queen tends to work in the shadows though and this would be a little too obvious i believe." he let out a sigh before looking up at the sky where hawthorne was flying. "but her father will be there and if anyone would protect your girl as well as you it'd be him, hmm?" he glanced over at the blonde fae with a small grin. "a week or two at the court and then you'll be reunited, i'm sure your left hand will provide all the attention you need," he added in a teasing voice.

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: ❝ you don’t get it. i want the whole package with you. i don’t wanna be some fling you forget about in a few months. ❞ /trin&nick immortal

no, she doesn't get it!! she doesn't! she can't! alarm bells ring in his head, blaring loudly as he stares at her from the little kitchenette table in his motel room. his hands clench against the tops of his thighs, brows furrowing before he jumps up. his head shook ferociously, a pained expression filling his features because this life she wants, this package she wants with him— god, he'd do anything to have it. but he can't. they cannot. he crosses the space to her, taking her jaw roughly into his hands as he directs her gaze up to him. his fingers shake against her skin, teeth clenching before, "you don't, trinity. you don't, i—..." he's already come to her with blood on his hands. she might already suspect the worst in him.

"i'm a killer, okay, do you get that baby girl? you wanna know what i'm doing when nate and i take off? where i'm disappearing to for weeks? months? i go across the country walking towards things everybody is running away from." it all comes pouring out, fighting to be heard because she has to understand!! she has to know that the life she's asking for doesn't exist with him. hunters die. that's their life. his life. it doesn't have to be hers. it shouldn't be. after years of explaining his ways to those he's saved, he hates this next part. hates the look that'll overtake her big, beautiful eyes when she doesn't look at him the same way. when suddenly, he's just that much different.

nick crouches before her as she sits on the edge of his bed, taking her hands in his as he smoothes over them, lifting his dark hues to hers. "i'm what they call a hunter trinity, i hunt...ghosts and demons and those things everyone's afraid of that go bump in the night. it's all real, all of it and they're all dangerous...nate, me...my da," a heavy sigh shook free from him, his hands tightening against trinity's. "there is no life with me trinity...baby, there's just this road, and this fuckin' chaos and my line of work," he shrugged halfheartedly, resigned to his future, or lack thereof. "it only ends one way trin, baby, you don't want that. i don't want that for you." internally, his heart ached, cringing at the idea that she somehow believed he could ever forget about her. if he had any other life, he'd never let her go. she'd be his. always. but even now, he'll never forget her. not for a single second as long as he lived.

[headstrongblake]

∗ 15: sender and receiver make eye contact across a busy room. / grant & o / @thewholecrew

there were whispers and rumours that grant had returned to their city, but truthfully, octavia didn't believe they held any weight. even when atom told her he'd seen him with nick. it couldn't be true. this place was so far from anywhere he'd ever come back to...grant swore repeatedly that trying to bring him home was useless. & he was right. this city...it's not his home. not where he'd ever come back. there's no reason to believe he'd ever be back until octavia swore it was his eyes she locked with across the busy room. painfully, her heart clenched in her chest, splintering in all directions as she blinked, shifting her gaze away briefly. it's not grant, she repeats in her mind, just her stupid heart still playing tricks. but as she looked back, the person was gone, igniting her curiosity further.

without thought, octavia offered nate a quick, i'll be back before she disappeared into the sea of people, pushing through as her eyes searched for him. it's not possible. it can't be grant. but as octavia slipped outside into the night, her heart quickened. a tidal wave of emotions crashed into her as the man strolled down the street. even with his back to her, it's like her soul knew. fury, love, heartbreak, relief and rage cemented her in place, suffocating her as she watched him walk away. it's him.

against her better judgement, her heart hammered in her chest as she followed grant at a distance, watching his back as he wandered down the sidewalk. it's a bad idea to follow him like this. to be near him. but if he's here...she refuses to believe it's because he's finally come to his senses after months away, realizing that the people who had loved him were here. no. she refused to believe it because she saw him. saw the hate and the rage that took over his honey eyes, darkening them with a coldness she'd never seen. he doesn't love them. he shot at them. which leaves a bitter taste in her mouth as he climbs into the driver seat of his truck. if he's here...would garrett soon follow? was that monster already here waiting in the shadows to create more damage? as she approached the truck, her hand coiled behind her back on her gun, all she knew was she couldn't let that happen. garrett had nearly broken nick. stolen everything from her. grant and him are not about to have that chance with anyone else she cares about again.

swiftly, octavia pulled open the passenger door, launching herself into the seat as she drew her weapon. under the cover of darkness, cold emerald hues stared across from her at grant's features up close and too personal. her elbow quickly hit the lock button, trapping him for a moment as she turned in her seat to him. "what the hell are you doing here?" octavia instantly demanded to know with her steady grip on her gun, the safety switched off. his golden gaze locked with hers, but she does her best to ignore the surprise and perhaps hurt in his features as he realizes their situation. octavia... "no," octavia cut him off quickly, not wanting to hear anything he had to say unless it was an answer to her question. her steady grip tightened, finger hovering over the trigger. "just answer the question, are you here with garrett? are you working here with him?"

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: ❝ honestly i can’t sleep, so if you wanna stay up with me? ❞ / nate & o

god she's so stupid octavia thought repeatedly as she directed grant to her new loft. it's the exhaustion. the emotions. the insane way they've all been thrust together for the past week. that's the only reason she can come up with why she let herself blurt out, i thought we were going to live happily ever after. that's something she should have left unsaid or written in a letter kept beneath her bed. but after another sad im sorry, octavia stayed quiet for the rest of the drive. it's not like she'd expected anything else.

"it's this one," she pointed toward her complex before she quickly went to escape. at his daring, but polite offer to walk her to her door, octavia shook her head. "i really don't think you should." she insisted, pressing her lips tightly together as she left him at that, crossing the street in front of his truck before disappearing into her locked building.

it's late by the time she's shoving her key in the deadbolt and kicking off her shoes at the door, but as the familiar smells of her home waft toward her, she can't help but feel the slightest bit lighter. her back closes her door as she leans against it briefly, shaking her head at the overwhelming weight these past couple of months have been. sleep sounds inviting. tempting almost and it's just up those stairs. but despite her exhaustion, it feels nearly impossible. instead, she pushes off her front door, feeling even more at home while the sound of nate's movie softly plays as she roots around the kitchen for a bottle of wine. "hey...i didn't know you'd be up," she greeted from the kitchen.

"these are classics," octavia commented as she met nate on the couch with one of her fast and furious movies in the dvd player. although the movie brought a warm sensation to her heart, octavia sadly stood there with the open bottle of wine. "well, goodnight...i'm going to enjoy one or two of these..." octavia said, dull hues glancing down at her bottle of wine, "and then i'm going to sleep without any alarm, and i'm shutting my phone off." octavia concluded, a tired smile spreading across her lips at her plan as she glanced up toward nathan. "honestly i can't sleep, so if you wanna stay up with me?"

a pit of sadness swirled in her stomach, lurching at his question for some company. without another word, octavia nodded gratefully with a sadness sparkling in her gaze. she needed this. something light and easy. just her and her roommate drinking to some of her favourite movies. lifting the open bottle to her lips, octavia took a drink before offering the bottle to nate over the arm of the couch. "for you," she said, quickly retreating back to the kitchen for another bottle because one simply didn't seem like it'd be enough to share between the two and still squash everything racing around in her head.

octavia returned with another closed bottle, pulling her soft blanket from the back of the couch before she climbed onto her giant couch, settling down beside nate. "oh the next one is my favourite," she commented with a bit of ease as he didn't ask any prying questions. quietly, she rested her head against nate's shoulder as she sunk into the couch a little, reaching for the open bottle from him while she watched the screen. this was about all she could manage now. just contently drinking while the movie played.

[headstrongblake]

what did you say your last name was? / nate & octavia / @thewholecrew

darkened emerald hues glared at the man in front of her, the tip of her dagger fully tapping just underneath his chin before she directed the tip towards his jugular. " i didn't. " she said without a hint of amusement. too wary of how this stranger had gotten down into the clubhouse without being seen, let alone who he was. as far as she was aware, the gang hadn't opened their doors to any new members. & maybe she doesn't know for sure. it's not like they run their operations by her or anything. perhaps he is a new member but in all honestly, she's still reeling from the way kassy had been attacked in her own home by the creep who thought she owed him something. no, once again, unless octavia knew the person directly...everyone looked suspicious. especially strangers poking around in her family's clubhouse.

" if i'm not back up there in the next ten minutes...my people are going to come down here, so, guess you've got....oh, i don't know, " octavia pondered, narrowing her eyes as she kept her knife steady. she told kassy & grant she just needed a minute away from the thundering music and that she was going to grab her jacket she'd left in the clubhouse earlier before having a toke outside. eventually...they'd come looking for her. " let's say five minutes to convince me you're not some threat...or...they'll kill you." she shrugged casually. " if you evade that, then maybe you might get a name. " though she severely doubted it.

[headstrongblake]

they knew we were coming. / bell & nick / @thewholecrew

for years nick's trained as a soldier. lived in war zones. lived with jacob and all his brutality. but as the group of them overtake this fucking hydra base that acts more like a prison, moving swiftly through it because there's not one alive person in sight, nick has never seen anything like this. he's seen different torture chambers but this whole place reeks of death. all the cages are empty. medical labs bloody but empty. the entire place is a ghost town except for the dead hydra agents throughout the place.

crystal hues shift between nate and bellamy. with no hostile movement so far, nick trades his weapon to one hand, hooking his gun strap around his shoulder as his feet halt on scattered documents that line the floor. he bends to check the uniforms of the dead men and women more carefully, noting their hydra black. "they knew we were coming." nick glanced over his shoulder to bellamy with a solemn nod. "someone knew something...they're all hydra." he scoffed, shaking his head. it doesn't make sense unless someone else had gotten here before them. & none of the dead hydra agents appear to be any solace to bellamy because their mission remains uncompleted. another dead fucking end.

this mission seems hopeless until his eyes scan over a few of the documents. his fingers move some papers, brows furrowing at the hydra experiments. god, this place is fucked up. "blake..." nick started, eyes still scanning over the medical jargon he doesn't understand but keeps circling back to the ability these people were analyzing. a test subject that appeared to suck the air from rooms, killing and immobilizing people with touch. "check this, i don't think we were wrong about this place." as he stood, nick stretched out the documents to bellamy to take. "that sound like your sister?" he asked.

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: “ i’m going to drain every ounce of your blood. nice and slow. like you deserve. ” / ok hear me out, kass & nick in immortal after he kills grant and o B)

when kassy's guards descended down to the dungeon, appearing in front of his locked cell, nicklas remained still on the cold ground. it's not unusual. they come with food. they don't speak, and they certainly don't let him out. it's routine after how long his brother and he sit in these cells, awaiting death, awaiting trial, awaiting for the guilt itself to tear him up inside. but when an unfamiliar lock clicks, his brows furrowed together, stiff muscles tensing as his crystal hues left nate, lifting to the guards.

the pair quickly invade his cell, roughly tearing him up from the ground, swiftly moving to secure him in cuffs as if they're expecting some fight from him. despite the ache in his bones from sitting for too long, he could. the food isn't great, but he hasn't been starved down here. his energy is still there but, there's nothing to fight the guards on. not if they're only coming for him. he deserves whatever fate kassy deems acceptable. deserves whatever might come. although his brother doesn't seem to agree as they drag nick out from his cell, but nick shakes his head as he walks past nate's, "it's okay nate, it's going to be okay." he promised in passing before the guards guide him deeper into the dungeon. before long, he stands imprisoned somewhere else. while he can stand, each foot is chained in place and his head is left hanging in defeat with his arms shackled above him.

when kassy eventually comes out of the dark, appearing before him nothing could prepare him for the stabbing sensation that works its way through his body at the sight of her. of what he's done to her. now staring back at the agony he's caused her, he'd do anything to take it back. not to be the hunter who murdered the people she loves, betraying the only person he's come close to loving in years. "kassy," her name comes out a whisper. with his hands chained above his head, all he can do is stare sadly at her. he can’t touch her. but he watches her, though he’s quiet at first, studying everything about the way she carried herself in this moment with him. "i'm going to drain every ounce of your blood. nice and slow. like you deserve."

the ice in her voice and the coldness in her eyes sends shivers down his spine because he’s never been on the opposite side of this version of kassy. sure, he’s toed lines in heated moments that have turned her anger on him but, this? this is so much worse. & the worst of it is he's entirely deserving of it. he's done this to her. to them. to himself. instead of arguing with her. instead of insulting her by offering more of his reasons or apologies, he lets his head dip a touch, nodding in understanding. as she closes the distance between them, he resigns himself to her, hues lifting to stare back at her. "do it." nick encourages, enunciating each word. he'd rather die. he'll die right here if kassy so wished it so long as she forgives him, so long as she understands. "if that will make you feel better, if that'll take away an ounce of the hurt i inflicted...please kassy, do it."

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: “they’re my family. we’re a package deal.” / kass abt grant & o to nick?

five years ago, if someone had said that they would have found nicklas and his partner, standing around a table drinking celebratory shots with a powerful vampire and two immortals? in a vampire den that easily doubles between a fancy club and feeding site no less? nick would've damn near shot them on the spot. would have sworn some shifter was out there with his skin. nothing could've been further from his mind than being here. yet now, whenever a hunt brings him within the surrounding area of the city, nick finds himself drawn back here. like there was an invisible tie to kassy beckoning him. so when nate had found a case that resembled a couple siren's his old man had come across right in the middle of kassy's city? well that's just good ol' fate. who could fault him for reaching out to the alluring vampire? & when she offered to join their hunt, he didn't hear nate saying no either.

with his arm resting along the back of the booth he sat at with kassy, nick watched his brother with grant and octavia. he can't hear what they're saying in the club space, but, by the looks of it, nate was enjoying some tale of octavia's. staring a little longer than he meant to, nick shook his head, turning his gaze back to kassy as her finger dancing along his shoulder garnished his attention. "so, when are you going to let me in on the secret?" he vaguely asked, turning in the booth toward kassy. with a subtle lift of his chin, nick asked, "what are they?" when he took notice of kassy's look, he scoffed lightly, "to you, what are they to you." he clarified.

nick has witnessed octavia at her side since the first time he'd ever met kassy, the vampire who's come to skew his entire world view. & grant, well, he'd crossed paths with him some time ago well before nick knew he had relations with kasandra, or octavia. what little he knows of them as individuals, he's come to admire, but since he's been spending more frequent trips here, studying the three of them together, he wonders about them more. there's a close, noticeable bond between kassy and octavia. but truthfully, he's never seen anything like it the way these two women interact with such a devotional love that empowers their energy whenever they're together. it's something he hasn't felt in years. not since trinity. he swore never again without trinity.

"they're my family," the way kassy sums them up in three simple words has the corner of his lip tick upward, crystal hues shifting over his shoulder a touch to gaze at grant and octavia. family, huh? nick could understand that sentiment. beyond his da, nate was the closest person to family he had, having lost the rest throughout his life. "we're a package deal." kassy continued, bringing nick's attention back to her as his hand rose off the back of the booth, fingers reaching to toy with the ends of kassy's hair. he's grown bolder in his recent visits, pushing back on his ideologies, on that medling voice in the back of his mind. every time he's with her, he wants to be as close with kassy as he can be. "a package deal, huh?" his crooked smirk grew as he offered a casual shrug. somehow from the moment he met kassy sat up on her throne with octavia at her side, he knew there was no separating the pair. "guess that means i'll have to work on playin' nice with that one, grant seems easier to win over."

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: gag.  for your muse to place their hand over my muse’s mouth, to try to keep them quiet / kass & nick immortal 😏 (maybe during a hunt)

crystal hues darkened, glaring at the vampiress before him as her cool hand clutched his mouth, silencing him. his free hand darted up to grip her wrist, but kassy tsked, bringing her other hand up to her full lips, pressing a finger to them, and motioning for him to keep quiet. his heartbeat quickened in his chest, obeying, though his hand remained firm around her slim wrist as they stood there in close quarters, silently staring at each other. as his eyes stared back into her swirling red, his finger twitched against his gun. despite her nature, kassy's been helpful toward him and nate. but his history and upbringing burn in the pit of his stomach the longer they stare into each other's eyes.

yet there's something in the way she looks at him. it's not like octavia, who eyes him with distrust and studies him like he does them. no, it's something entirely different, but before nick can settle on what it is, her hand slowly slips from his mouth. whatever she heard is gone, but the two don't separate quickly. instead, kassy's hand ran down his jaw, smoothing toward his neck, and despite the hold on his gun and all he's been raised to believe, nick did nothing more but stand there. somehow trusting the vampire against all reason. against the berating voice of his da shouting teachings in his head.

when her lips grew to a smile, he cleared his throat, brows furrowing as he stepped away from her, forcing her touch to leave him. "the hell was that about?" he asked accusatorily, shaking his head to her calm reply. reminding him she could hear any monster or human with a beating heart. including the innocent janitor working his shift while the two break into the office space. though instead of focusing on the hunt at hand, his mind flickered to the moment his own heart raced with the vampiress. how, of course, she'd heard his as well. nick huffed to himself, annoyed fumes filling him with heat as he looked back to kassy. "well, you lead the way then," he muttered, gesturing with his gun for her to continue.