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agent-tempest · 1 year ago

Text

Omg I was so right. This is heart breaking

you're losing me

remus lupin x reader

summary: remus giving you mixed signals. based on you're losing me by taylor swift.

word count: 1,1k

a/n: idek if i like this but i'll just post it. thanks to @myriadmoons for helping me write this, ily<3

Stop, you’re losin’ me

“you’re so pretty” he’s practically on top of you, although the common room is empty. he’s touching your face, your hair, your hands. he sees you’re getting flustered and continues. “you don’t understand how pretty you are”

“remus” you wince, trying to get away from his hold.

“what, babe?” he says, almost mocking you.

“stop” you insist.

“stop what?” he hides in your neck, and you can feel the smirk growing on his face when your hand goes to his hair.

“this” he doesn’t seem to care, because he distances from you, puts his hand on the back of your neck, leaning in to kiss you.

when he pulls away, he leans his forehead on yours, and for a moment, it seems like he’s going to confess, like he’s going to say the three words you’re waiting for.

but he doesn’t,

instead, he pulls away when he hears your friends walking in, he sits back on the couch, away from you, and starts reading like nothing happened.

Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes

How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?

I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick

My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

you were sitting next to him, watching him lie on the infirmary bed, just like every month.

"babe, stop doing that" you don't know when he woke up, you just know that his hand is on yours so you stop biting your nails. you immediately get up, grabbing his face so you can look at it.

"how are you feeling?" he smiles, staring at your eyes. if only he could see the storms in them.

"good" he replies as he grabs your waist, moving you to lie next to him.

and you stay like that for a while, talking about nothing in particular, his hands on you all the time.

once he feels better he gets up, slowly gathering his things. you walk him to the door, but you don't get out.

"i think i'll stay here for a bit, i'm feeling sick" you look at him, and there's a bit of confusion in his eyes.

"oh, okay" that's the last thing he says before leaving.

Stop, you’re losin’ me

the next time he sees you, you're both at a party, and your friends aren't there yet. so he approaches you, takes a sip from your cup and puts his arms around you.

"hi" he smiles.

"hi" you smile back.

"i love your outfit" he stares at it.

"thanks"

"i could show you how much i love it in my room thought" he smirks when you blush.

"stop"

"okay" he replies, but he hugs you tighter.

and you stay like that for a bit, but when he sees lily walking towards you he completely pulls away, and he disappears before you can say something.

And the air is thick with loss and indecision

I know my pain is such an imposition

Now, you're running down the hallway

And you know what they all say

"You don't know what you got until it's gone"

when you walk out of the common room, he doesn't know whether to follow you or not. he stares at the now cold spot next to him, but he's not sure if he should follow you.

when he sees you, you're drying your face. and he stares at the redness of them.

"love, are you okay?" he sits next to you, on the hallway floor.

"yes" he sighs, taking one of your hands in his.

"if you need anything, i'm here, you know?" he explains, not staring at you.

"i know"

neither of you talk for a while, you staring at the wall in front of you, him staring at your hand on his.

"i'm sorry that my pain is a burden"

"your pain could never be an imposition" he assures you.

"stop"

"it's true, i mean it"

he says, but as soon as someone calls him from the end of the hallway, he gets up.

"i'm sorry, i have to leave"

and you know you shouldn't care, you know you shouldn't go to his dorm later that day so you can go study together, you know you should just ignore him. but you go anyway.

"you're going to study with mrs. moony?" you hear sirius ask remus, from outside the room.

"stop fucking calling her mrs. moony, she's not my wife" you hear remus spat at sirius, and you think that you might just leave, that you don't want to listen to the whole conversation.

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" sirius doesn't know you're there, but he's still offended.

"she's just following me all the time, asking me if she can help me, she's just a people pleaser, like i would marry her" and that's when you decide that it's enough, that you don't want to keep listening, that you don't want to see him anymore.

and he waits, he waits for you in the library, where you were supposed to meet. he waits until curfew. he waits until the next morning, when you're supposed to sit next to him during breakfast. he waits in class, where you're supposed to sit next to him.

but you know what they all say, you don't know what you got until it's gone.

Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me

I'm the best thing at this party (You're losing me)

And I wouldn't marry me either

A pathological people pleaser

Who only wanted you to see her

he approaches you again while you're choosing something to drink.

"i like your outfit" he smiles.

"stop" you walk away from him, making him frown.

"what?

"you're losing me"

“what? c’mon, talk to me”

he follows you out of the party, to talk, he said, but when you want to, he doesn't listen. instead, he takes your cup out of your hand.

"stop ignoring me!" you say when he starts looking around.

"i'm not!" but then he looks at a couple who just walked out of the common room.

"i'm the best thing at this party"

you're losing me

he doesn't talk, he just stares at you, that's when you feel the tears filling your eyes.

"and i wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser" you chuckle, tears running down your face. "who only wanted you to see her"

you wait for him to say something, to apologize, to take his words back, to react, but he just stares at you.

"Do something, babe, say something" (Say something)

"Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losing me)

"Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing)

"To believe, unless you're choosing me"

"do something, babe, say something" you insist, but he just looks at the floor. "lose something, risk something"

you're losing me

"chose something, love, i got nothing" you tell him, waiting for him to do something.

to believe, unless you're choosing me

#Why are you doing this to me?!#Amazing written!💗#✋🏼😩#The lyrics 'only wanted you to see her' always shatters my heart #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin angst

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nc-vb · 2 years ago

Note

“i’ll keep you safe. your life will never depend on kissing him”—

(live reaction)

Tee imagine being vash’s first kiss :(

FIRST — VASH THE STAMPEDE.

「 SYNOPSIS 」 ⋮ vash has never fallen in love—not before you, that is (2.1k words)

☽ contents ⋮ mutual pining, slightly jealous vash (of nicholas), confessions, fluff

☽ notes ⋮ i don’t even think this has anything to do with the ask anymore LMAO i got carried away but here <3

“nico, get your grimy fingers off my share,” you huff, shoving nicholas’s fingers away from the last few bites of your lunch.

food is scarce these days—more so than usual, and you don’t even try to hide your hunger when you finally find a place to grab a bite. vash eyes you as your lips are curled into a soft frown, the crinkle of your brows making his throat dry—because you’re cute, even with a look of pure irritation on your face, you’re soft and angelic and you make his heart skip a beat.

“c’mon, give me a bite or two,” nicholas chuckles, sneaking his way back to reach for your share of food, “you try carrying that big ol’ cross around all day.”

this time, you slap his hand away, huffing as you shift closer to vash to put extra distance between you and nicholas. vash has to keep himself from leaning in when he feels the warmth of your body radiate against him at the proximity.

“oh, you’re such a jackass, y’know?” you grumble, rolling your eyes at the easy chuckle nicholas gives you. but vash can see it—the beginnings of a smile you try (and fail) to fight back as you shake your head. “you’re the one who insists on carrying such a flashy weapon.”

“well it saved your pretty little head a few times didn’t it?” he shoots back. nicholas is easy to talk to like that, banter filling the air between you as you dance around each other with petty taunts and sly grins and stolen touches through pokes to the forehead.

vash thinks the only time he’s ever touched you is to pull you away from danger. in fact, he thinks it’d be easier to fight off an entire city after him than pluck the courage to reach out and flick your forehead the way nicholas does. it’s so smooth, so simple, so natural—and he can from tell the way your eyes soften for nicholas that it must be love.

he glances down at his food, feels his appetite dwindle and his chest tighten, and soon enough there’s an extra share of food pressed to your hand as he stands up.

“i’m not hungry,” he smiles softly, “you have it.”

you blink for a moment before opening your mouth to protest. “but vash—”

he’s off before you can finish talking, climbing into the van and closing the door while everyone stares after his figure and blinks. you frown, looking back at nicholas who only grins wider, holding a hand out for the half eaten dinner in your hold.

“well, don’t be greedy. share the goods,” he insists.

you roll your eyes, pulling away from his outstretched hand as you glare at him.

“something’s wrong,” you announce. meryl and roberto share a look, glancing quickly between you and nicholas again before continuing eating, making your brows furrow. “you guys know, don’t you?”

“everyone does, sweet cheeks,” nicholas chuckles, shaking his head, “you’re a bit more oblivious than i thought.”

“and what’s that supposed to mean?” you glare, but he only eyes you with amusement, turning back to finish the last few bites of his dinner before standing up and walking off, mumbling about needing a smoke under his breath.

you stare back at the van, unsure whether or not you’re supposed to go after vash—whether or not he even wants you there. it takes you a few moments of contemplation before you ultimately stand up, earning a look from meryl and a sigh from roberto.

“i’m gonna go after him,” you announce.

it doesn’t take long to walk up to the van and climb in, finding vash sitting slouched on his side of the back seat, looking out the window. he almost looks…defeated—it’s a type of vash you don’t think you’ve ever really seen.

“vash?” you ask softly, making him tense for a moment before he glances at you, offering a poor attempt of a reassuring smile.

you don’t think vash has ever successfully hidden an emotion ever in his life. for as long as you’ve known him—though it’s not been that long—he’s worn his heart on his sleeve and his emotions bared before you whether he means to or not. you sit down beside him, staring at your lap as he stares out the window again.

“hey,” he says quietly, “why aren’t you with everyone else?”

“why aren’t you?” you counter gently.

“ah, well,” he chuckles nervously, painfully aware of how close your knees are from brushing, “just wanted to sit. and think, i guess,” he says quietly.

“about what?”

“just stuff,” he mumbles.

he doesn’t want to tell you he thinks about how he must be in love with you, doesn’t want to admit as much when you’ve clearly got someone else in your heart. vash has never fallen in love—but he thinks if he’d have to give the feeling a label, it’d be you.

he thinks it has to be love when the first pair of eyes he searches for are yours, making sure you’re okay before he even thinks about checking on anyone else. what else could it be besides love when even if for a split second, the very thought of you being in danger makes his gun leave its holster and ready to aim. if not love, he’s not sure what else it could be when he’s so nervous around you, he feels words stick to his throat like he’s choking.

vash has never fallen in love before, but there’s no mistaking this feeling now that it hits him.

you’re kind—maybe a bit more than you should be to him since he does nothing but drag you into danger. the rational part of him wishes you’d stop coming with him wherever he goes, it hopes you’ll see you have so much to live for outside of cleaning up his messes. the more desperate part of him feels nauseous at the idea of you going your separate ways—he can protect you, can’t he? the desert is a dangerous place with or without him and if you’re in danger one way or another, you should stick by his side where he can keep an eye on you.

no, vash has never been in love—but he’s sure as hell seen it happen before his own two eyes in the many, many years he’s lived.

and he knows you’re in love with nicholas with one painful glance.

“c’mon vash,” you nudge his shoulder with your own, “we’re friends, i know you better than that. something’s wrong. are you upset about what those people in that last town said to you? because i’ll march right up to them and give them hell and back if—”

friends.

he’s tuned you out, too hyper focused on that awful burning sensation pooling in his chest, the one that hits him as soon as you use that cruel word. of course vash is just your friend, why wouldn’t he be? he can’t remember the last time someone actually wanted him around at all let alone as something more.

he doesn’t even notice your hand reaching for his until it lays over his fist, gently unclamping it from the fabric of his coat. he doesn’t even notice he’s been fisting it this whole time, doesn’t even notice his shoulders are tense until you lean your head on it.

“you don’t have to tell me,” you murmur gently, “i’ll wait here with you.”

“why?” he can’t help but ask, can’t help but wonder why you care to spend your time here when you could be there. with nicholas. without him.

“because i care about you.” you say it like it’s obvious, like he should already know that.

perhaps he does—you do care about him, he can see it with the way you help clean his wounds and scold him for being reckless…just maybe not in the way he wishes you would.

“are you ever going to tell nicholas how you feel?” he asks.

you sit up, shock on your face and a crease in your brows as you stare at him in bewilderment. he almost thinks he’s asked something out of line, something he should apologize for. but before he can offer you a stuttered apology, you beat him to it.

“what?” you chuckle. “do i look like i feel something for nicholas?”

“you don’t?” he sounds shocked, making you blink.

“no,” you shake your head, grimacing like the idea is an unpleasant one. “he’s a nuisance i tolerate at best.”

“oh,” is all he says, surprised. it’s silent for a moment before he hesitantly asks, “is…is there someone?”

he doesn’t want to know the answer either way. yes means the pain of knowing there’s someone else he has to let you go to. no means it’s not him even with no one else to compete with at all. but he figures whether your answer is yes or no, it’s enough to force him to let go.

“well…” you hesitate for a moment, inhaling before letting out a shaky breath and slumping back to shoulder, “can i be honest?”

“of course,” he says instantly.

“i don’t know how you’ll take it,” you admit quietly, and he can hear the slight shakiness in your voice—like you’re nervous, like what you’re about to say will change everything.

but vash knows no matter what you’ll say, no matter what you’ll ever do, he’ll still keep loving you even if you don’t need him to.

“is it embarrassing?”

“no,” you shake your head, “well, maybe a little. depends on how you react. i might look stupid.”

“can’t be worse than running out of bullets,” he smiles softly, “i bet i looked pretty stupid then.”

“a little,” you admit, giggling. and then you both laugh softly, your cheek against his shoulder and your hand gently clasped over his. distantly, you can hear nicholas ask where you are—and you know it’s not long before you’ll lose this rare moment alone. so you take a deep breath, stare at your hand over his as you mumble, “i think i love you. a little. actually, that’s a lie—a lot. like, a whole lot.”

he blinks.

he feels his breath hitch and your shoulders tense and his heart race all at once. for a second he thinks he might’ve heard you wrong—but then you whisper how you understand if he doesn’t feel the same way, how it’s okay, really! you understand, it’s not his fault and you can still be friends because you’re fine with friends. just as long as he’s still in your life because he’s important to you and friends is better than nothing at all.

and then he cuts you off with a soft chuckle, making you pause and glance up at him with doubt on your face.

“can i be honest too?” he smiles gently, melting your heart even as it shatters just a little in your chest.

“of course,” you whisper.

“i love you too. not a little though. a lot. i thought you had a thing for nicholas, though—”

“nico is rude and smells like smoke. i wouldn’t kiss him if my life depended on it,” you interrupt with a crinkle of your nose, making him chuckle with bright eyes and love scribbled over the curves of his features.

he leans in, presses his forehead to yours and closes his eyes when your hand cups a cheek gently.

“good,” he murmurs, “but don’t worry, i’ll keep you safe. your life will never depend on kissing him.”

“good,” you hum, “because i only want to kiss you.”

and then you do, slow and sweet and so in love. it’s his first kiss—he doesn’t really know what to do, but he follows your lead and learns fast, soft lips molding with yours and mingling your warm breath with his. vash doesn’t even care he’s gone this long without feeling something as gentle as being in love. he’s in love now, with you—and he’s glad you love him too and not nicholas wolfwood, the man who keeps trying to steal dinner from under your nose.

“are you two done in there already?” nicholas is pounding on the door, making you pull away with a sour look on your face. “we got places to be. better not be baby making where i’m about to sleep.”

“can’t you make one exception and kill him?” you whine, making vash chuckle before he leans to kiss you again, more chaste this time. and again, and again.

vash has never fallen in love—and he’s sure it’s because he was meant to wait this long to fall in love with you.

#oh my god 😩✋🏼#✦ nice rec.

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