#♩ 》 ( verse. honkai star rail. ) // path of nihility.

[kuratm]

what if ... i pulled a goofy and gave sayu a free, amphoreus fashioned skin? >:3 what if she looked like a true "angel of night"?

coughs coughs sputters at pararells between sayu and nyx, the greek goddess of night, COUGHS COUGHS.

[kuratm]

for a split moment, sayu slightly regretted suggesting a friendly race between two, especially when noting caelus's ... obvious advantages against her. not only was her fellow trailblazer taller, there also came experience in the factor. sure, both of them had been through a lot - in turn, experience made one stronger - but their paths were important, too. he is able to switch paths, whereas the girl was of nihility. clearly, there were few obstacles in sayu's way ... though, that didn't mean she'd give up.

after hearing caelus's tease, the shorter trailblazer only giggled and put one hand against her hip - her smile turning a smidge smug, in turn. ❛ well, hey now ... you're quick to celebrate your victory. ❜ she begins, pausing to adjust the guitar on her back and push few locks behind her ear. ❛ it's fine to have a competitive spirit, but you shouldn't be too cocky ... especially when you're in unknown territory. ❜ surely, she could tease her "bodyguard", right?

❛ besides, i haven't said my own conditions- ❜ sayu moves one hand up to caelus, poking his nose with her ring finger. ❛ and that is ... you have to let me do a makeover, without complaint. how does that sound...? ❜ she might be slower than caelus, but if there's anything she specializes in ... it's unpredictability.

━━   ❝   𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫.   ❞  As far as the trailblazer’s concern, as long as he kept himself at ear and eyeshot of her then that’d still meant they stuck together. However, it seems Sayu’s own adventurous spirit came out to play as she proposed a little friendly race. Caelus could remember the LAST night someone paid for his meal..oh yeah that was Firefly and she soon regretted  that decision once she saw just how much food he could fit into his stomach.

As far as Caelus’ is concern he was pretty much the star of a shonen series, the happy one that’s always prepared to eat mountain full of food. Whilst he could eat alot, he still could not consume the amount that they do in anime, this was real life as he thought, mental barriers like this were too hard. BUT beaten her in a race?? Definitely doable, he had a few advantages against her other than being taller (blessed with longer legs). There were also Sayu’s bosoms she had to contend with, whilst she wasn’t exactly Black Swan in terms of how full they were, he could imagine they would still kind of how her back.

So with that all mind caelus smiles and stood next to her. “You’re on babe. After I win your wallet is really going to hate you.”

[kuratm]

part of sayu almost wishes to doubt sampo's intentions - partly due to being aware of his ... dubious habits - yet for some reason, she doesn't. could it be due to their connection prior the express's venture to jarilo-VI? she couldn't tell. either way, there is certainly a humorous irony to be found in this, and she's sure certain fools would be elated to see it.

❛ mmm ... ❜ she murmurs, clearly deep in thought, before amethyst eyes gaze up at emeralds with tint of slyness - her smile remaining gentle yet subtle cheekiness lays underneath. ❛ is this ... for transactional purposes, sampo? i didn't think it required this level of relationship ... either way, color me intrigued. maybe i could even convince you otherwise on gothic music! ❜

ARE YOU SAYU'S TYPE? ... accepting!

[kuratm]

just a lil' sad nihility pookie, nothing to see here, uwu

[kuratm]

to think death gripped castorice far longer than sayu could possibly anticipate ... in a sense, perhaps it should've been obvious but curiosity proved to be greater than ever. it was much like the oblivious civilians of okhema, whose fates are sealed within this planet, that looked upon the endless, bright skies and wondered what lied beyond ... wishing to discover wondrous sights and seek the truth for themselves. such was a human's flaw yet greatest strength, at the same time.

despite such wishes, nobody could do anything but pray and hope these heirs shall fulfill the prophesied miracle which only, in turn, made the dark halovian frown. how much burden could one carry, until they, themselves, get driven by the same madness which corrupted the titans? where sayu could give credit to the bravery and honor they've conducted, there'd also be dislike for such a hefty responsibility onto selected few. circling your entire life just for one purpose ... and here sayu thought the family's forcible hand of harmony was oppressive.

regardless of sayu's own feelings on the matter, she was only glad to have come here and offer some comfort - at least as much as she could possibly give - and castorice was surely included in the mixture. hearing the other's words, the shorter woman crosses her arms and hums in thought. ❛ i see ... it's good to know you're still pushing on to live your life, even with a burden like that ... ❜ she already proved to be far stronger than sayu ever was. ❛ but ... with all due respect, miss castorice, asking others not to worry about you is unrealistic. be it a kind stranger or your closest friend, of course they'll worry for you and your well-being... much like i am. ❜

with that, sayu smiles and pauses to take her phone out. ❛ you deserve to experience joy in any shape or form, no matter what fate put upon you. create your own memories, even if it's meaningless ... that's what i've learned very recently. ❜ then and there, she shows her screen to castorice - displaying a music playlist. ❛ here ... why don't you listen to my own music? by experiencing something unheard of, you'll have a new, more positive perspective ... at least, that's what i think. ❜

"Cruel can only be the half of it."

Which was a fact. The deep depth and complex matter round it. How it can make one feel, one act, one going about their daily lives. Knowing full well, there is a sword dangling above them, that can cut anything short in a matter of moments. In Castorice's case. That sword is far more closer, and while not dangling on her, but it dangles round her.

"How long...? Far as one can remembers. Someone has to take the mantle. It's fallen to me."

It was as if it was written within her very being, her very code. If Castorice took a breath, then more likely, death itself breathed with her. She's got her hand trapped within the strong grasp of death. As if her hand is crushed under a giant rock, unable to free it from it's clutches.

"Fear not however...Despite my position. How my heart, and being feels about it. There are moments, and shared experiences that I can still experience, and enjoy. I wouldn't want anyone, stranger, or close friend, to worry over me. Despite my role, I can smile at times. I can find happiness, and delight. No matter how far and rare it comes."

She least had some happy memories. Happy experiences. Those that cared for her, but also she cared for them. No matter how deep and shallow her position may be.

[kuratm]

leaves these ☝ doodles on dash before getting ready for a birthday party

... pookie goth gf, anyone? uwu

[kuratm]

when stelle explains what had actually happened, sayu couldn't help but feel guilty. sure, himeko had sent her on a different task and while she done it without a hitch, but the thought of the antimatter legion actually sending a doomsday beast was unnerving her, to say the least. she only got there when the beast was defeated, but the full picture wasn't exactly taken...at least not until now, with the other girl giving her exactly that. concern is written over sayu's face before looking stelle over, as if checking to see if there were any injuries. looks like she's unharmed...miraculously so. ❛ i see...now i really wish i could've come sooner....all of that sounds terrible... ❜ hush, child of false harmony. you've failed to protect, once more...why do you even bother?

shaking her head to get rid of those thoughts - not now, not now, not now - sayu looks back at stelle. ❛ a-ah, at least mr.yang managed to subdue the disaster. as for this "bomb"... ❜ a finger is pressed under her chin, amethyst eyes narrowing slightly. ❛ are you...talking about the stellaron? i'll admit, i never thought i'd hear about a person carrying something of that grand scale... ❜ then again, this universe was vast and had many mysteries, so maybe it wasn't as far fetched as she thought.

regardless, sayu smiles. ❛ a-ah, not that it matters. at the end of day, you're now part of the crew. ❜ stelle shouldn't be excluded due to her circumstances, after all - it'd be against the code of trailblazing, as well as her own morality. she knew, too well, the feeling of being outcast for being "different". ❛ we'll be headed to our next destination...it'll be your first expedition. how do you feel about that? ❜

Observant as she was, Stelle noticed the slight shift in expression from the other girl, but she couldn’t figure out why it was there. Perhaps she still had a lot more to learn in terms of understanding others… Stelle figured she could live with that and decided to leave it be, at least for now. Just because she was looking through Sayu’s physical stuff didn’t mean she was going to force her way through her emotional stuff.

Stelle nodded her head at the other’s remark. She did indeed like Sayu’s room. Seeing the differences in decor between the rooms she explored was helping her determine what she did and didn’t like. It gave her ideas of what she might do with her own room…or maybe she’ll just leave it completely bare since she had no intentions of actually staying in there for an extended period of time. What’s the point of staying in one place for too long?

“Oh…” Right, all of that. Stelle thought about the question for a moment before answering. “A dragon broke the glass and attacked us, and then I almost died but saw a giant guy with white hair. Oh, and then Mr. Yang hit me with his cane because I have a bomb in me.” That seemed to be the rundown… At least, that’s what Stelle got from it all. A lot happened in the span of less than thirty minutes.

[kuratm]

ya'll thought i was done with the art dump, but nope ....

HAVE RASPBERRY, THE TRASH CAKE VERSION OF SAYU! <3

it's just a shy, gothic little fella...loves music but gets too timid around others and its' fellow trash cakes ... teehee. <3

[kuratm]

i've only subtly put this out in few threads, here and there, but i might as well make a more descriptive post regarding sayu's feelings on other chrysos heirs:

as far as sayu's concerned, all of them are keeping a lot of untold, more dark secrets which amphoreus has to offer - be it to protect the innocent, oblivious people of okhema or for any other reason, it doesn't matter - hence her overt cautiousness. overtime, she'll come to learn more about them and make a better decision on whether she can trust them or not.

so far, castorice has sayu's trust, the most ... as ironic as it is, given the one's relationship with death, but she truly sympathizes with the poor girl's plight and wishes to offer her a chance of friendship. besides, sayu, too, has had an interesting relationship with "death", due to penacony's - her "home's" - nature ... perhaps the two could share their thoughts on the topic - at least sayu hopes.

as for phainon... albeit a little too "heroic" and sometimes brash in combat, sayu will come to trust him, as well, especially after he vouched for dan heng and TB during aglaea's interrogation...slowly, but surely, she will believe his words, but still keep in mind that there's more to him than meets the eye. not me eyeing the two of them together, as a slow burning romance...definitely not because of kevin and DR. MEI references in HI3.

tribbie, trianne and trinnon, too, are someone sayu can feel at ease - in a sense, the three remind her of welt, more so in how they're apparently a "mentor figure" for some of the heirs - and she trusts welt more than anyone, so naturally, she'll feel at ease. mydei, on other hand, is someone sayu will come to observe from distance, not wanting to incur anything with this seemingly brutal warrior. maybe there's more to him but so far, sayu doesn't have a reason to "spar" with him.

however, out of all the heirs the trailblaze crew have met thus far, aglaea is the one who gives sayu the most ... heebie jeebies, shall we say, and the one she trusts the least.

it's not that sayu can't understand the reasons of one whose coreflame is with the titan, mnemia - she, herself, is a reasonable person, at heart - nor will she dismiss the other's concerns on everything that is happening in amphoreus ... it's the methods aglaea uses to ensure "safety" of okhema's people which give sayu an uncanny pause. they hit sayu too close to home.

her past wounds re-opened by returning to penacony - the place which has given her nothing but self-doubt, regret and sadness - and she had to learn, in hard way, that self-acceptance is necessary for her to truly venture forward the path of trailblaze, in spite her true path lying with nihility.

even if she's handling herself better in present times, even if she's showing her onyx colored wings to spread her voice through intense music, as she's always intended ... those wounds are still fresh. sayu was forced to remember all the times the nightingale family looked down on her, ostracized her true passion for music and even neglected her by her lonesome ... she still remembers how oppressive and unfair the family truly is, mien their "loyalty" to the HARMONY.

that being said, it's because of the aforementioned experiences sayu's gone through that aglaea and her...more ruthless methods make her feel pretty...uncomfortable, to put it mildly. it'd just remind her of how the family, too, used harsh methods to get their way and practically make the residents of penacony into nothing more but dream-obsessive "prisoners". it'll take sayu way, way longer to warm up to aglaea, but ... thus far, albeit continuing to be polite towards aglaea, she can't trust her and keeps her distance.

what's the point of all this? sayu's only reason for being overtly cautious is very much what phainon has said at their very first meeting, and the sentence that describes sayu's reason perfectly - she just wants everyone to be safe, especially her comrades whom are her closest, more precious friends.

[kuratm]

❛ hmm ... people of amphoreus are rather ... sheltered from the rest of cosmos, huh? that's ... rather unfortunate ... ❜ cue an obvious, thinking expression, until she looks as if an idea popped in her head, out of nowhere. ❛ i wonder ... what will they think of rock n' roll? maybe i should play them some of my own songs. ❜

is sayu thinking of playing some of her hardcore, metal-focused music to unaware people - possibly giving them the biggest cultural shock yet? yes...yes she is.

[kuratm]

lil sneak peak of my pookie goth uwu ~

[kuratm]

by aeons, how many drinks were there?! yes, it wasn't uncommon to find galaxy pirates lounging large portions of alcoholic drinks for themselves - at least for special occasion, that is - but sayu never would've expected straw hats were this big on alcohol! of course, only those who were above age would drink ... and well, it included her. after indulging one or two cups with one particular member, zoro, the gothic trailblazer found herself with a woozy feeling in her stomach. it was only now would she realize that, yes, she was not tolerant on booze.

letting out a long exhale, sayu lifts one hand to push away a bottle from her face before looking up at the pirate, himself. ❛ ugh ... don't know if i can take another bottle ... ❜

@peachiiihearts (zoro) ... for SPOTIFY WRAPPED MEME (accepting)! ///// now playing ..... GMFU by ODETARI FT. 6ARELYHUMAN. /////

[kuratm]

...

she isn't even going to comment on the fact caelus apparently learnt about "fanfiction tags" in PENACONY, out of all places - where in great aeons did he even learn this from?! SHE'S the one who lived within the dreamland ... how come she's never heard of this phenomena?!

regardless, the dark halovian could only curl her lips and cross her arms. ❛ so ... what you're saying is ... "yaoi" involves two men having intercourse? well, that sure seems to be the case for sampo and gepard. ahhh, in that case ... would the same apply for, let's say ... phainon and mydei? ❜ those two certainly fit this apparent "criteria" that caelus eloquently conveyed ...

❛ ...also, caelus, there's a reason why i draw the line at your "habits". i can smell your room from miles away - clean it up, for aeon's sake! ❜ the truth is being ripped apart today? fine then, be that way, trailblazer.

"So my habits are where you draw some unknown line, meanwhile we're going to march up to me and ask about two dudes raw dogging each other? No, y'know what I'm not even gonna give you the out to be confused. Two dudes fucking in the fantasy scenarios of fans???"

He slowly raises his hands while asking this, only to bring it back down. On second though-- This would be his kind of luck to begin with!

"Penacony made me learn what Fanfiction tags are through some dream osmosis. First time I ever heard that 'It ain't true love 'until both our balls are touching.'"

@kuratm

[kuratm]

@peachiiihearts asked: 🎲 caelus

number 24 .... A SLEEPY KISS!

sayu didn't remember the last time sleep felt this nice. being a resident of penacony, where dreams were nothing short but an only method of life, sleep almost felt akin to a task. regardless of her conflicted feelings on the matter, there's no denying tiredness consumed the young woman.

as she laid on bed, sleeping for aeons knew how long by now, the sound of door opening prompted sayu to stir awake. subtle grunts leave her lips as amethyst eyes slowly peek open, trying to see who entered her room. fortunately, it didn't take long for the blurry vision to finally make out familiar grey locks, and equally familiar voice calling out for her.

❛ mmm... caelus ...? ❜ groggily calling out, one hand moves out the blanket and subconsciously tries to hold onto the trailblazer's shoulder. once feeling warmth beneath her palm, sayu begins pulling herself up as a small yawn escapes her lips. then and there, she moves closer and presses a light, almost air of a kiss to caelus's cheek. was she aware of the current act? possibly, yet the usually reserved sayu was too sleepy to acknowledge her own actions. ❛ hmmm... good morning ... why did you wake me up? ❜ albeit tired, curiosity remains : hopefully, it wasn't anything serious.

the kiss roulette ... accepting!

[kuratm]

confused? yes, but that'd be an understatement. while sayu isn't exactly sure what happened, she knew one thing that might help cheer the trailblazer.

❛ um...hey, caelus... ❜ the dark-winged halovian speaks up, fidgeting hands gently pressing to the taller male's shoulder as amethyst eyes keep a close eye on him - not wanting to anger him more than he already was. ❛ would you like to get a meal...? erm, my treat...maybe that'll help calm your mind down, even if a bit. ❜

@astrxlfinale / continued from this

[kuratm]

@diverse-hearts asked: [ hand ] sender kisses the back of receiver's hand. - Aventurine

penacony, land of festivities...or so it was, up front. to majority of people in vast galaxy, this was a go-to place in order to escape reality and enjoy sweet dreams but to sayu? this was a land of nightmares. while she could've opted out to stay at the express with dan heng - hell, himeko and mr.yang even offered that option, knowing full well she had a not so pleasant past with this particular planet - sayu felt that would be akin to running away from the past. if there's anything she learnt during their time spent at the xianzhou luofu, it's not to do exactly that. she needed to face it, even if it meant staring directly at the nightmare, itself.

she watches almost apathetically as the ipc representative kissed the back of her hand, brows furrowed in skepticism. sayu knew very well that in a place as penacony, you couldn't put your trust easily in anyone. schemes and backstabs were almost akin to saying "hello" to one another, so she held her guard up. aventurine, however, was different...he was charming, sure, but it was a front...for what reason? she didn't know.

either way, she quietly moves her hand as amethyst eyes look up at aventurine. ❛ it's nice to meet you as well, mr. aventurine... ❜ she says, remaining polite but clearly keeping her guard up. ❛ thank you for the help at the checkout, back then...but, why the sudden interest? ❜ she couldn't help asking. it was rather sudden, after all.