#♩ 》 ( verse. honkai star rail. ) // path of nihility.

[kuratm]

confused? yes, but that'd be an understatement. while sayu isn't exactly sure what happened, she knew one thing that might help cheer the trailblazer.

❛ um...hey, caelus... ❜ the dark-winged halovian speaks up, fidgeting hands gently pressing to the taller male's shoulder as amethyst eyes keep a close eye on him - not wanting to anger him more than he already was. ❛ would you like to get a meal...? erm, my treat...maybe that'll help calm your mind down, even if a bit. ❜

@astrxlfinale / continued from this

[kuratm]

when stelle explains what had actually happened, sayu couldn't help but feel guilty. sure, himeko had sent her on a different task and while she done it without a hitch, but the thought of the antimatter legion actually sending a doomsday beast was unnerving her, to say the least. she only got there when the beast was defeated, but the full picture wasn't exactly taken...at least not until now, with the other girl giving her exactly that. concern is written over sayu's face before looking stelle over, as if checking to see if there were any injuries. looks like she's unharmed...miraculously so. ❛ i see...now i really wish i could've come sooner....all of that sounds terrible... ❜ hush, child of false harmony. you've failed to protect, once more...why do you even bother?

shaking her head to get rid of those thoughts - not now, not now, not now - sayu looks back at stelle. ❛ a-ah, at least mr.yang managed to subdue the disaster. as for this "bomb"... ❜ a finger is pressed under her chin, amethyst eyes narrowing slightly. ❛ are you...talking about the stellaron? i'll admit, i never thought i'd hear about a person carrying something of that grand scale... ❜ then again, this universe was vast and had many mysteries, so maybe it wasn't as far fetched as she thought.

regardless, sayu smiles. ❛ a-ah, not that it matters. at the end of day, you're now part of the crew. ❜ stelle shouldn't be excluded due to her circumstances, after all - it'd be against the code of trailblazing, as well as her own morality. she knew, too well, the feeling of being outcast for being "different". ❛ we'll be headed to our next destination...it'll be your first expedition. how do you feel about that? ❜

Observant as she was, Stelle noticed the slight shift in expression from the other girl, but she couldn’t figure out why it was there. Perhaps she still had a lot more to learn in terms of understanding others… Stelle figured she could live with that and decided to leave it be, at least for now. Just because she was looking through Sayu’s physical stuff didn’t mean she was going to force her way through her emotional stuff.

Stelle nodded her head at the other’s remark. She did indeed like Sayu’s room. Seeing the differences in decor between the rooms she explored was helping her determine what she did and didn’t like. It gave her ideas of what she might do with her own room…or maybe she’ll just leave it completely bare since she had no intentions of actually staying in there for an extended period of time. What’s the point of staying in one place for too long?

“Oh…” Right, all of that. Stelle thought about the question for a moment before answering. “A dragon broke the glass and attacked us, and then I almost died but saw a giant guy with white hair. Oh, and then Mr. Yang hit me with his cane because I have a bomb in me.” That seemed to be the rundown… At least, that’s what Stelle got from it all. A lot happened in the span of less than thirty minutes.

[kuratm]

@diverse-hearts asked: [ hand ] sender kisses the back of receiver's hand. - Aventurine

penacony, land of festivities...or so it was, up front. to majority of people in vast galaxy, this was a go-to place in order to escape reality and enjoy sweet dreams but to sayu? this was a land of nightmares. while she could've opted out to stay at the express with dan heng - hell, himeko and mr.yang even offered that option, knowing full well she had a not so pleasant past with this particular planet - sayu felt that would be akin to running away from the past. if there's anything she learnt during their time spent at the xianzhou luofu, it's not to do exactly that. she needed to face it, even if it meant staring directly at the nightmare, itself.

she watches almost apathetically as the ipc representative kissed the back of her hand, brows furrowed in skepticism. sayu knew very well that in a place as penacony, you couldn't put your trust easily in anyone. schemes and backstabs were almost akin to saying "hello" to one another, so she held her guard up. aventurine, however, was different...he was charming, sure, but it was a front...for what reason? she didn't know.

either way, she quietly moves her hand as amethyst eyes look up at aventurine. ❛ it's nice to meet you as well, mr. aventurine... ❜ she says, remaining polite but clearly keeping her guard up. ❛ thank you for the help at the checkout, back then...but, why the sudden interest? ❜ she couldn't help asking. it was rather sudden, after all.

[kuratm]

just gonna put this here before i forget, but before penacony's storyline, sayu pretty much masqueraded a harmony unit (harmony physical, to be specific) because she was forcing herself to be something she isn't - because she wanted to run away from reality...because in many ways, she subconsciously tried to be like robin, her best friend since childhood. needless to say, it wasn't working, but sayu kept the charade on - if anything not to worry her newfound family, a.k.a the astral express, whom she joined in means of escapism from the abuse she suffered under the family's watchful eye. there was a burden on her back, the regret she daily felt for leaving everything behind - for leaving robin to suffer all alone, but she continuously pushed it in herself, making her more reserved than ever.

however, after going back to penacon, the events that happened there and many, many revelations she needed to see, by herself? sayu realizes she cannot keep running from the past anymore. she needs to face it, head on, without any fear - she cannot be controlled like a doll, any longer. for that, she becomes her true self and rips the mask off her face (haha, persona 5 reference) and spreads her own, dark colored wings. she embraces her identity as a dark halovian, as a rock-n-roll musician - she accepts herself as a PATHSTRIDER OF NIHILITY - but not for the sake of nothingness, but for its' tranquility and continuous effort to push forward, despite how meaningless it may be.

once sayu faces it all and finally gets some form of closure she, and the rest, deserve, she becomes a 5 star, nihility unit with lightning as element, since rock-n-roll is as flashy and loud as lightning.

[kuratm]

i saw this tiktok which talked in depth about the paths in HSR and the people assigned to each path, and wow...lemme tell you, the way they talked about nihility, which is the laziness, meaningless behavior and exhaustion? it truly suits sayu, especially since she fits the exhaustion part...she works so hard for her dream of giving people their voice through music that it exhausts her, yet she doesn't show it.

[kuratm]

'we protect each other' .... that's right, they're a team. no trailblazer can go without another, for how else would one experience taste of adventure without companionship? such was a hard lesson sayu needed to learn, as well, and even though time would tell whether there'll be improvements or not, she was glad to know everyone's continued cooperation wouldn't waver. it only solidified her own goals and aspirations - spread her wings and sing out for those who are too afraid to let their own voices.

she turns to smile and nod at welt, understanding the elder's warnings very clearly. there can't be an expedition without welt expressing his concern to others ... sometimes, sayu wondered if the older trailblazer realized how fatherly he sounded. regardless, she took welt's words to heart and ventured to the planet alongside caelus. first few minutes were spent on sayu looking around, awe painted across her face. such beautiful, grandiose trees...the halovian trailblazer almost forgot nature's scent after spending too long in penacony's dreamscape.

she's taken off guard by caelus bolting off - clearly far more amused by the trees - and quickly follows after. ❛ ah - caelus, wait! mr. yang said we shouldn't separate ... ! ❜ alas, what expedition would this be without curiosity getting the better of you? with a soft sigh, sayu amps up her sprinting until she's next to caelus, amethyst eyes looking over at him. ❛ hey...how about a race? loser has to buy dinner tonight~ ❜ surely, there's no harm in having little fun while exploring, right?

━━   ❝   𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐰𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.   ❞  Caelus said with a smile wrapping an arm over her shoulder. Welt was at the very least happy the youngest can at least joke around, things were slowly returning to the semblance of normal as it once were upon the express. 

“Very well, I will count on the both of you, to remain vigilant but also safe. Above all else exercise restraint.” Welt spoke, his worry could be heard through his very own warning and advice. So Caelus did not even joke, he simply gave his senior a smile and a nod of his head before hopping off the express and skipping the steps. Everything on this planet was..bigger than he’s ever used to seeing. Trees that looked great and tall from afar stretched into the skies like towers. It was enough to impress the trailblazer.

He promised Welt he would be extremely cautious but there was definitely nothing wrong with scaling that very tall tree. “Come on.” He spoke to his beloved and ran forward. The closest tree seemed quite the distance away but it should be a relatively short trip with a sprint.

[kuratm]

@hcpebled asked: crash-landing. sender chases a falling star but finds receiver where it fell. / for stelle i am going rabid at this

watching illuminating sparkles flying through vast, almost eternal bright sky of penacony's dreamland, albeit beautiful at first glance, turned to be nothing more but an accommodation the more you get used to the scenery. regular inhabitants of the dreams would be the most likely to tell you that, yes, watching newcomers falling down the sky was nothing new ... sayu, included. sure, it's been some time since last being here but after everything that happened, she felt it's necessary to rekindle with the planet of festivities - her "home".

that being said, stelle offered to join sayu's journey in revisiting each parts of the dreamscape, which was something goth trailblazer couldn't say "no" to - was it stelle's "puppy dog eyes" that did the trick would be the question left unanswered. regardless, sayu landed first and, without hesitation, chose to rush along a falling sparkle which, unfortunately, crashed on impact. small chuckles leave her as she approaches closer to a writhing stelle and crouched before the other. was there a hint of slyness on the dark halovian's smile? perhaps, but she wouldn't admit it that easily. ❛ ehehe...still not used to landing in land of dreams~? ah, are you alright, though...? that was quite a nasty fall... ❜

LOVE IS COSMIC .... accepting!

[kuratm]

@peachiiihearts asked: [ tango dip ] || caelus x sayu

after everything that happened in penacony, sayu felt more comfortable walking around familiar parts of dreamland. sure, there would be few people who'd look over, gawking upon her - or more specifically, her wings - but she wouldn't allow that to deter her. not anymore, she'd think to herself. for now, what mattered more was enjoying whatever free time there was before astral expressed ventured to new expeditions. this was no exception - with caelus taking her to the jovial area of golden hour, where they danced around to the music. it was fun, really, to loosen up like this.

while dancing, sayu felt caelus holding her closer and before she could even react, he'd make a rather dramatic dip. was this his way of humoring her? if so, it worked, as evident by slew of giggles escaping the dark halovian's lips. amethyst eyes looked up at golden ones and, without hestation, she moves closer to peck him on the cheek. after doing so, she'd look at him again - just to see his reaction. ❛ hehe...that was charming of you.~ ❜ yes...this truly was the most fun she ever had.

WAYS TO KISS SOMEONE .... accepting!

[kuratm]

@hcpebled asked: daisy chain. sender weaves flowers into receiver's hair. / stelle

having a quiet hangout on the outskirts of belobog's snowy plains was something they both needed, especially after everything they've experienced in penacony. while sayu had a hunch this was an excuse of stelle's to be alone with the dark halovian - the notion she'd find quite adorable on the trailblazer's end - it didn't mean she'd refuse her gesture. besides, they'd be one of first to see even the tiniest of life blooming on once desolate, cold planet...this included the fewest flora popping out each day.

said flowers, however, seemed to inspire stelle enough to have her pluck them and begin weaving through sayu's own, raven locks. at first, sayu insisted there was no need but after few convictions, she gave in and stood still for the other to finish her job. once allowed to move, she takes a look on her compact mirror to see the results - flowers, white as the snow yet ethereal in its' beauty, shun brightly on her hair, almost seeming to make a magnificent contrast. it was enough for sayu's smile to soften even more. ❛ oh, this looks amazing, stelle...thank you, really...~ it means a lot. a-ah, should i do the same for your hair? ❜ it was only fair, after all.

LOVE IS COSMIC .... accepting!

[kuratm]

whilst robin must've been used to being offered many deals, duels and whatnot, sayu was the polar opposite - penacony's always been adamant on denying rock music to prosper, thus leading to many talents losing their spark. she, however, had to be different for her passion continued pushing her forward ... despite it all seemingly being meaningless. regardless, sayu is taken off guard by robin's enthusiastic and immediate response.

ah...was this truly the beauty of a "pop idol"? really now, just the pure sight of robin's excited smile made her even the slightest bit of relieved.

❛ h-huh? o-oh, um... are you sure? it's just that... ❜ no, a tiny voice echoes in her mind. don't falter anymore - keep striving forward and free your wings. shaking her head, sayu clears her throat and firmly nods by the offer of coffee. ❛ actually, er....i'd love that, miss robin. if i can say, though, i'm surprised you've never written a song with someone else, before... ❜ she pauses to press her hand under her chin. ❛ as for coffee...maybe we could go for a quieter cafe, if you'd like? ❜

"Oh,   that   sounds   like   a   wonderful   idea"   the   songstress   beamed,   hands   clasped   together   in   a   delighted   manner.

"I've   never   written   a   song   with   someone   else   before,   I   think   we   could   have   a   lot   of   fun   with   it!"

Despite   it   merely   being   an   idea,   Robin   couldn't   help   feeling   excited.   Without   her   brother   by   her   side,   she   often   sang   alone.   Having   the   opportunity   to   sing   along   with   someone   else   once   more   ...   was   a   heartwarming   feeling.

"We   should   try   to   get   together   soon.   Perhaps   brainstorming   over   coffee?"

[kuratm]

@hcpebled asked: ❛ 01 . a kiss to say hello . / from caelus

after taking care of personal matters in belobog - by personal, of course it meant sayu getting new parts from serval to upgrade her precious guitar - she found herself stepping back into the parlor car and, lo and behold, there was caelus. he looked as if he waited on the dark halovian for some time, now...which was oddly adorable, on his part. ebony colored wings fluttered a little at the thought, though she opts to push through the tepidness and approach the taller trailblazer.

instead of greeting him verbally, however, sayu decides to pull an expected which is taking hold of his cheeks and nudging him down for a gentle peck on lips. after breaking off, she giggles and tilts her head. ❛ hey, there...did you wait too long? i'm sorry...~ ❜

DESIRE TO KISS ... not accepting!

[kuratm]

@astrxlfinale asked: [ takeout ]

having meals with the rest of crew might've been sparse yet they'd always be cherished. rarely have they gathered and ate a good meal together, mostly due to their trailblazing expeditions, though it didn't entirely bother sayu. at the end of day, she knew she belonged with the astral express, as well as her destination being out there, traversing stars and showing her voice for the cosmos to hear and be inspired by. that being said, it didn't mean the dark halovian wouldn't appreciate a bit of a peaceful meal...even while practicing few melodies on her guitar.

that's exactly what she was doing - strumming few wires and adjusting them until caelus showed up with a box of pizza in his hand. sayu sat still for one minute, peering at the trailblazer with light confusion before chortling and tilting her head to express curiosity. ❛ a-ahh...um...what's that, caelus? ❜ she begins, moving her trusty guitar to the side as she got up and inspected said "dinner" closer. ❛ wait...is this pizza from penacony? err...what's the occassion, exactly...? ❜

SHOWING AFFECTION ... not accepting!

[kuratm]

@hcpebled asked: ❛ 23 . a kiss on the back of the hand . / from stelle

sayu found herself dressed up a little more elegantly, fixing her hair by the mirror whilst humming to herself. belobog invited the astral express for an annual celebration of sorts, one which she couldn't miss out on. despite the coldness of jarilo-vi, its' inhabitants and their fiery spirit managed to make the best of it and now lived in more determined future, and the gothic trailblazer wished to support their endeavor. stelle and march would be joining, as well - ah, speak of the devil, stelle seemed to walk in her room...of course she would.

before sayu could even ask for stelle's opinion, the other already took of her hand and pressed a tender kiss to the back. for a moment, the shorter girl blinked and peered at the other, before finally processing what just happened and blushing in dark shade of pink. aeons, stelle really knew how to catch her off guard. ❛ ahh, haha...um, i take it you like the dress, then? ❜

DESIRE TO KISS ... not accepting!

[kuratm]

@astrxlfinale asked: "I haven't heard you laugh in a month!" Except he's being entirely sarcastic about that. He was just vying for a reaction.

was that...meant to be sarcasm? knowing caelus and his witty nature, sayu couldn't help the slight skepticism. more often, however, she'd be able to masquerade her emotions - years of nothing but hiding slew of harmonious masks would be enough to earn her a masters in acting, at this point - but no, she wouldn't do that now. they were trailblazers, and friends at first place, so there's no point to shy away from expressing her true self. then again, sayu supposed she could come off as, well ... "depressing", but it's really due to her inability to actually let loose and have fun. she's focused primarily on improving her skills in music that mere concept of "fun" seemed to be shoved in back of her mind. in that case, she couldn't blame caelus for this comment...and yet, who's to say a "mellow goth girl" couldn't have her moments?

hence the hefty chuckle leaving her lips as amethyst eyes gaze up at golden irises, slight smile creeping along her lips. ❛ pfff....is this your way of saying i'm humorless? come on, now... ❜ she begins, her voice lilting with a gentle tease. ❛ ehehe... maybe you didn't make a joke good enough to earn my laugh...~ i suppose we'll never know, eh? ❜ of course, this was all said in light tone, indicating she was also joking. on other hand, this was sayu's way of showing that she's alright and there's no need to worry - since letting go of the harmony, sayu ironically never felt any better.

SAD SENTENCES ... not accepting!

[kuratm]

@peachiiihearts asked: [ comfort ] || luka x sayu

who would've thought a simple trip to the xianzhou luofu would've been this eventful? never mind that it's for the sake of tournament - for belobog to promote itself across vast universe and make it known that they're still there, breathing life into a frozen planet. what mattered to sayu was luka's wellbeing. since landing here, he's been met with nothing but harsh slaps across the face. one after another, it's no wonder he winded up with vivid hallucinations, for the inner demons were vicious beings to fight against. the dark halovian knew it, all too well - she went through the exact same thing in penacony, after all. regardless, no matter how meaningless it might seem, you should always push onwards ... that's why she embraced her path of nihility. the question is: could the "country bumpkin" of belobog's underworld be able to handle such a harsh reality?

her concerns, albeit overboard in other's perspective, were of good intentions - she didn't want to watch her beloved suffer any more. that's why, when finding herself by luka's side without anyone around, she'd stand right in front of him. no matter what, sayu would not leave his side. nobody should go through such painful emotions by themselves, and she'd rather be damned to hell than leave the young man who never gave up on her, either - even when showing him who she truly is.

that being said, sayu would take hold of luka's cheeks - to garner his attention - and nudge him closer for a gentle yet lingering peck on the lips. once breaking off, the dark halovian only smiled as her hands clutched just a bit firmer to his face. ❛ luka...i'm right here. don't listen to the voices, just look at me...i won't go anywhere, okay? i'll always be here, for you... ❜ what else could she say? oh, if only she could whisk away even half of burden he surely carried.

WAYS TO KISS SOMEONE .... accepting!

[kuratm]

@hcpebled asked: ride. sender sits on receiver's lap, straddling them. / huehue from caelus

when all seemed dull and monotone, there ought be some sunshine to counterbalance this constant sense of dread. what happened in previous planets were nothing more but learning experiences for trailblazers, sayu's sure of it. because of it, there's nothing wrong in indulging in more ... goofy activities, right? she would say that, though, if it weren't for the fact caelus - who's twice her size - was trying to be goofy in a way it didn't make sense.

such was this moment, with him sitting firmly on her lap. sayu could only yelp and choke out a shaky "hey" once caelus done what he did, her legs shaking under the weight. aeons, did he forget about their size differences?! ❛ agh- wha- c-caelus...g-get off, please...y-you're crushing me... ❜ this was supposed to be the other way around!

LOVE IS COSMIC .... accepting!