#♡. kairos.ic ⁄ ⁄ the belief of a better dream .

[stellarhistoria]

a huff, "If only."

[stellarhistoria]

"I think we have a few, but, ah," there's a bit of a nervous smile in response to the queries, and he can't help but laugh instinctively. "I think we might be goin' with Kanara, or another K-name. If, ah, if the baby is a girl. We're pretty sure they are, but never know, could decide on the spot that they don't want to be, which- valid."

❛ -oh ! holy shit congrats ! bu' also good fuck'n luck . ❜ , wow they grow up so fast , ❛ got any names in mind ? ❜ .

[stellarhistoria]

A New Light

kairos had never believed he'd get this far, not again.

he'd always been the sort of person to believe that he'd be damned to repeat the same years, the same people, the same lines of dialogue over and over again. he'd always believed, thought he KNEW that he would have to pay penance for his "crimes". no matter how self imposed that guilt was. he believed that he didn't deserve this love, didn't deserve this peace, didn't deserve this HAPPY ENDING.

and a part of him revels in the feeling of knowing that this is no ending. because endings are always terribly sad.

in the words of his parents: this is just a new volume in that story of yours.

and as he looks down at his newborn daughter, who he had been preparing for for so many months now, only for her to surprise himself and katie both by being a couple of days early before even the time that she was supposed to be due... he can't help but feel at peace the same way he had when he had believed he didn't deserve to feel it in the first place. he can't help but feel like he's finally done something right for once, in all his colossal mistakes throughout his long lived life.

her unfocused eyes stare up at him, all his shiny colors that she cannot parse just yet being a bokeh effect of various little shines in her peripheral. as he smiles at her, her wide eyes stare up at him with confusion and awe - or perhaps she's just stunned by the light of it all. but in her swaddled state she cannot reach out to him, only stare.

how comforting it is, to know that you helped to bring something so fragile and yet ever so sturdy into the world simply by committing such as act as love. how comforting it is, to know that because of your love, you have the proof of it, the proof of your commitment, the proof of your hope in your arms. even when you believed it wasn't possible.

he sighs and leans back slightly, looking over to his sleeping wife, and chuckling. they've been through so much these past nine months, and amaurath will be thrilled to be a big sister to the young girl in his arms.

ah... he'll have to tell the family, he supposes. if they don't already know.

[stellarhistoria]

kairos tags

♡.   kairos.ic     ⁄ ⁄   the belief of a better dream .

♡.   kairos.aesthetic     ⁄ ⁄   the belief of a better dream .

♡.   kairos.visage     ⁄ ⁄   the belief of a better dream .

♡.   kairos.v01 ( main )     ⁄ ⁄   archfaerie of dreams and memories .

♡.   kairos.v02 ( submain )     ⁄ ⁄   if you have to ask then you aren’t paying attention .

♡.   kairos.about     ⁄ ⁄   i know the pain it takes to stay strong .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( mutemade.katie )     ⁄ ⁄   say the word ; i’ll lasso the stars .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( azurescaled.izumi )     ⁄ ⁄   drawn to your passion like a neon sign .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( voidedfate.clemency )     ⁄ ⁄   forever & always .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( whisper )     ⁄ ⁄   to my soul ; to a day we hope never arrives .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( kaito )     ⁄ ⁄   i can’t imagine a day without you .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( ian )     ⁄ ⁄   more than blood more like soul .

♡.   kairos.thoughts     ⁄ ⁄   i only sink deeper the deeper i think .

♡.   kairos.asks     ⁄ ⁄   o’ captain o’ captain !

[stellarhistoria]

if you say so, almost leaves his lips when she says it matters. he's never been one to follow his gut, and maybe that's why the times he has, it has led to... hope. to second chances. to new beginnings. he wants those to mean something ── even if it means being reckless for a little while. even if it means getting dad to huff at him and mom to scruff him.

though, he is nothing if not attentive ─ at least, these days. he knows when something is important, if not to him then to another person, to the person he's speaking to or otherwise, in a way of speaking. importance was, in his eyes, subjective - though not everyone would agree, and he doesn't expect them to.

while she speaks, for a moment he finds himself looking off to the side, wondering for a short time if she understands that he knows that feeling. not directly, no not like that. but the feeling of losing a child to a force you either had no control over or a force in which you could not hope to stop. indeed, he understands that grief. if he would have asked his wife, the first one in her now deathly state, the one who mothered amaurath, she would tell him how it felt to watch the world burn and only race to find her daughter, her son, her only child.

though, just because he does not understand ravenna's grief, there's no doubt that he's no stranger to grief at all.

"So," his expression softens with an understanding yet solemn smile. "In the end, it changes nothing." he sits up from his laying down position, looking upstairs to where his due any week now wife is asleep, likely to need him at any point, hence why he's even down here to begin with. "At the end of the day, this changes, really, nothing about who you are to me."

he would not... claim that he doesn't feel hurt by the information. but over months, YEARS of therapy, having better friends, settling down, having his firstborn back... he has found himself more than content with his life ─ he's happy, and the words don't ring a lie.

"Mom, you are who you are, and nothing will change that. Maybe, maybe I lack context, maybe I lack the perception, maybe I lack the insight. But, am I not still your son? Am I not still here, in front of you? Again. You didn't raise me since birth. But you raised me. Taught things to me. You gave me a home, and you gave me a home. You're my mom, and those words honestly only solidify what we already knew."

“It matters immensely,” she says while claiming a seat. “It would change little now. I am your mother and he your father, that will never change. However, emotions can be unpredictable. When I learned the truth it nearly killed me.” Her claws dig into the fabric of her dress at the flesh beneath. “Remember, your father is lost to the abyss and did what needed to be done in order to secure his survival. I know this and still I hate him for it.”

A shaky sigh slips between her barely parted lips. She’s torn inwardly. The maternal instinct to protect her child, to spare him the painful truth. However, he deserves the truth, to know what happened… what was taken from them both because of a deal made by his father.

“You are my child, my flesh and blood. You were taken before your conception and given to those awful people. Clemency, your true father, made a deal… “ Her voice cracks. “The child he would next father would be taken in exchange for the means to survive the horrors in his new reality. To his credit, he thought he would never have another child. That was until we met. He doesn’t know the truth. Likely he thinks I hate him for something unrelated and ridiculous. His Keeper, however, knows since it was the one that brokered the damned deal.”

Her eyes gloss with tears that spill down her cheeks. “You were taken from me Kairos. That bitch got the joy of my motherhood and treated you so horribly. You were mine, you were always mine.” She pauses a moment to sniffle and rub the tears from her eyes. “You were taken at some point in time. Possibly a time when Clemency is free and we could love each other. I don’t know. That’s the only part in all of this that’s hazy. You know how all things Eldritch are. Time is a man-made concept.”

[stellarhistoria]

unprompted / / @gamenu. / / nicole & kairos.

"My travels?" he straightens himself out for a moment, back cracking slightly as he slumps forward again, his newly found large wolven size for a monster form making him seem much bigger, when he still feels so small. "I wouldn't know where t'begin, Nic'. But I'll start with a fairytale, that ain't all that fair."

"A long time ago, there was a pair of princes. These princes were named Starlight and Moonlight. Starlight dreamed of a future where the people they bled for, trained for, worked so long to put dreams into the clouds for. Moonlight dreamed of a future where everyone could live in peace, away from fighting, away from the spirits that haunted their hearts, away from the noise of clashing blades."

he sighs, fidgeting with his claws absentmindedly. it's difficult to remember 'this fairytale', but at the same time it felt almost relieving to talk about something that hurt for a change, instead of relaxing all the time like he knows he probably should. ( and so, he continues, with a sharp inhale ── )

"And so, Moonlight and Starlight came up with a plan. They would give their dreams to the people they loved so dearly. They would sacrifice everything for it, even if it meant sacrificing their lives in the process. Starlight did not come up with this plan by himself, however. No, Starlight was GIVEN this plan, by a cruel man... we'll call him End. See, End was not your average do no good do all harm type of man; his end goals spanned more than a few months, years, or decades. He would wait eternity, if it meant getting what he wanted. And it did not matter who he used, betrayed, and broke in the process."

a weary smile crosses his expression, "End held no regard for life, as all life ends eventually, so all he was doing was speeding up the process. What harm would it be to sacrifice a few willing princes in the process of getting what he, and thus everyone else, wanted? Alas, this is not the way the story was written. This is not the way it was meant to go. But End, End was a selfish man, once filled with an icy envy and a malicious indifference towards the world before his untimely end. At least, his first End."

he has to stop for a moment, shoulders shaking with bitten back tears and screams that it wasn't fair, he was just a child - THEY WERE JUST KIDS! but the past is past, and the past is prologue.

"... End, manipulated the kingdom and its people, its king and its queen, into believing he was in the right, and as a result, End managed to find a way to sow seeds of discord through the royal courts. He managed to do all of his work unintended, unsupervised, untested. And when someone noticed, it was far too late. The pieces were set, and End already knew every move. By the time they realized who had poisoned the two princes, the game had finally met... its End."

he sighs.

"But, legend has it that you can still feel the presence of the two princes in the night sky. When the light of the moon does not keep you safe, the light of the stars will guide you home."

[stellarhistoria]

@azurescaled. / / morning drowsiness. / / kairos & izumi.

"Mmmmm," he hums softly, closing his eyes against the feeling of a beloved's touch musing his hair while he's already barely awake to begin with. "Y'know me, my love. I've always gotta show how much I love the people who love me f' me. No matter what form I take."

he raises his head slightly to lean forward and press a gentle kiss to izumi's cheek, wanting them to feel the light smile on his lips as he does so, lingering just long enough for that to happen before leaning away again. "I'd love to take the day off. I'd get t'spoil ya, as y'should be every day."

[stellarhistoria]

@abysmalwitch. / / her darling boy. / / kairos & ravenna.

"I'm fuckin', ffh." he takes his hands from her shoulders and starts to absently talk with them, though that seems to help his anxiety very little. "Yeah this is my second child but that doesn't mean I was particularly in the know about the first! My first child is part DRAGON, mom, and he doesn't even know that part yet! I don't know how to bring it up!"

there's a quiet whine, as he slumps forward just a little bit in both defeat and wanting to seem as small as possible. "I didn't think I'd live long enough to start a family of my own, let alone so soon. It just, fuckin' hit me recently that I'm safe enough to actually live my life the way I want to live it, and it's fuckin'── I'm freaking the fuck out!"

[stellarhistoria]

new kairos tags

♡.   kairos.ic     ⁄ ⁄   the belief of a better dream .

♡.   kairos.aesthetic     ⁄ ⁄   the belief of a better dream .

♡.   kairos.visage     ⁄ ⁄   the belief of a better dream .

♡.   kairos.v01 ( main )     ⁄ ⁄   archfaerie of dreams and memories .

♡.   kairos.v02 ( submain )     ⁄ ⁄   if you have to ask then you aren’t paying attention .

♡.   kairos.about     ⁄ ⁄   i know the pain it takes to stay strong .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( mutemade.katie )     ⁄ ⁄   say the word ; i’ll lasso the stars .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( azurescaled.izumi )     ⁄ ⁄   drawn to your passion like a neon sign .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( voidedfate.clemency )     ⁄ ⁄   forever & always .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( whisper )     ⁄ ⁄   to my soul ; to a day we hope never arrives .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( kaito )     ⁄ ⁄   i can’t imagine a day without you .

♡.   kairos.bond: ( ian )     ⁄ ⁄   more than blood more like soul .

♡.   kairos.thoughts     ⁄ ⁄   i only sink deeper the deeper i think .

♡.   kairos.asks     ⁄ ⁄   o’ captain o’ captain !

[stellarhistoria]

"...Mom?" it was a hesitant call of her title, her name in his eyes. she was mom, she is mom. for years, this was true. for years hence, it will be true. until she gets tired of him, and then even still, she would be his mom. he doesn't know if he had said something... wrong. she seems so cautious, like stepping on dangerous ground, or ground untread by anyone else.

at her tone of sadness, his head tilts. it's so close to his child's ─ his daughter's birth. what could possibly be ailing his mother so much?

"Momma... would it matter?" he chuckles. "Would it change anything? My therapist, she tells me that letting those things bog me down is killing me. If it would genuinely change anything about us, about me n' Dad, about us as a strange lil' family, then tell me. If it won't, then I'll delegate the decision to you, if it's important enough."

The witch becomes hesitant. Should she tell him? Is it better to be blissfully unaware? Or learn the terrible truth? To imagine everything that’s been robbed from her, from him. To know that she is his actual mother, but was taken long before even conception because of a deal made on their behalf. The truth nearly killed her. Her heart mangled with grief and wrath; she lost herself. Though she eventually returned, she is not the same woman as before learning and accepting the truth.

“Kairos,” she says with a tone of sadness. “There’s something I should tell you, but I wonder if I should. T’is the reason of my grief and my anger toward Lost, your father. It is your truth. I leave it to you — do you wish to know your true origin?”

[stellarhistoria]

"Happens to the best've us." he says with a heavy heart; he knows well the feeling of losing oneself to emotion, whichever the emotion may be. in his.. younger years of being himself, and not some PUPPET, indeed - truly indeed does he understand only now learning to calm himself from being.. driven by his heart. at least, not in the same way as before.

"Maybe you didn't raise me, but that doesn't mean you're not my mom." he doesn't understand the depth of that answer, and it's only then that one could realize that he has not been told. "You will always be my mom. Not because you were there, but because you're here."

“And I apologize for that, son.” A sigh slips between her lips. “I lost myself to grief, but I’m good now. Everything is good.” She reaches out and ruffles his hair. “I will review my memories later. If I find anything, I’ll let you know.”

There’s a long pause before she speaks again. “I wish things were different.” I wish I never met your father. “Maybe I would have been the one who raised you.” I lost you. Then you were forced to grow up surrounded by awful people.

[stellarhistoria]

"I'm mostly curious 'coz 'f the whole, like... I was always curious as t'what my wonderful asshole of an ex teacher used to be like before he was.. I mean, technically I don't think 'e changed much from how he is NOW. Whatwith all the excited puppy energy that he has yanno. ...dunno if ya've seen 'im recently, you've been gone a bit."

“I’ve traveled a lot, son. I’ve been to places I’ve no recollection of. T’is a possibility, though.” She places her hands on her hips and gives a thoughtful look. “I could look through my memories.”

[stellarhistoria]

"You know damn well what." he stretches out on his couch, giving her an unimpressed look. "If you'd been around that long, you'd've seen m' timeline. And no one wants anybody to be a part'f that." a pause.

"Oi, if ya did see my timeline, how far back were y'there for? Did you see us back when, apparently, Ozy was still a prince?"

“If only wot?” She grinned.