#♡. orlain.bond: ( neff ) ⁄ ⁄ magic where night falls .

[stellarhistoria]

@cosmicdreamt / semi planned? / orlain & lesleigh.

"Hey. You."

"You're a bloody coward."

"Not because of your failure to commit when you had the chance, or because you let someone as wonderful & loving & patient as her GO when you had the chance to KEEP HER, or even because you have a pitiful self esteem. You're a damned all coward because you refuse to work on y'self when you have someone willin'a work with ya, so I know for DAMNED CERTAIN you're not going to work on yourself at all."

"So for that, I pity you. I pity the ones who envy you, and I pity the ones who care. Because you're never goin'a change. You're never going to make a mistake and say 'I should fix this', you're never going to learn from those little mistakes, so you'll keep repeatin' the big ones. You're stuck in your ways like a broken clock - and even when you're right those two times'a day? No one wants to listen t'ya anymore."

"So, if you have half'a mind about you, you'll work on yerself. You'll never let that chance go again. You've already lost her, and this time, if ya want her to try again, to TRULY TRY this time,"

"You go through ME."

[mythicalminded]

inbox call (on stellarhistoria). / @cosmicdreamt. / neff & orlain.

"Luv, do you want to distract me from what I'm doing?" his eyes narrow, but the quirk of a smile on the edge of his lips is telling that he's not bothered in the slightest. "I'm tryin' to bake something I think is relatively new. New t' me at least."

[stellarhistoria]

that familiar fire burns in his chest, like when he was told by morik that he works for the people who hurt him, or rather he commands the people who hurt him - regardless, the person is still there; the direction may have changed, but the fear that burns remains. he's trying to not start a fight - but he feels like this one would shatter from one of his hits.

"How she fell for you, I'll nev'r unda'stand." he snarls, less like the regal elf he is and more like a beast - an animal with territory and kin THREATENED by the other. "All you're doing is wallowing, for years n' years, lettin' people cry rivers for you so that y' can show them ya can walk on water. You're not som' modern miracle, you're a natural disaster."

almost by force, but mostly in snide disagreement, a curl of a smile that is more bloodthirsty than it could ever be a fireplace winds onto his lips. teeth bared like a panther grinning in the dark of the jungle. "But ya know? That fits ya, dumbass. Everyone who comes across ya, they end up doomed, don't they? Some survive, some get out of it, but the ones who suffer? Oh, they suffer. And you only regret the ones who make it out alive, don't ya? You envy like a cult envies the gods; everyone's a sacrificial lamb."

his next laugh is more draconic than anything, like something ancient and wise forced to defend when all else fails. "Aren't ya sad? Too busy believing the world's against ya, to realize that the world never cared and never will, not about you or about me or even about Neff. The world is indifferent to the calls of the damned and holy all the same, and your prayers fall on deaf ears. Best of luck to ya, mate, in your heretical damnation."

He didn't even have a clue who the hell this guy was, but having insults flung at him was nothing new. Whatever the reason was this encounter was happening, he honestly probably deserved it.

And as soon as he starts speaking he's got an idea.

Ah...he must be talking about her.

Even now after all this time...is she still thinking about him? She must be if this guy has complaints about something that happened years ago...and honestly he hates it. He hates that even now she's still hurting because of him, and that even now he can't seem to forget her either.

Honestly part of him wants to laugh.

"I think three years is much too long for me to try again with her. If I couldn't appreciate her before I don't deserve to now. And I mean, why should I bother to try?" Grey eyes stare at the other man before him. "That's why you're here, isn't it? You must have some pretty strong feelings to come all this way looking for me to tell me off. Neff's not the type to ask this of someone, nor is she the type to encourage, so either she didn't know you were coming or you came anyway because you think she deserves better."

He sighs.

"And you'd be right. She does deserve better. That's the one thing I'll always stick by. She's always had this way of making you feel like you wanted to protect her in some way or another. My way of doing that...was just really damn stupid. I have regrets about how everything went down, even now, but it's not something I can change. And I don't deserve someone like her until I can give back what she does. Listen man, I'm not making excuses for myself anymore. I fucked up a chance for something better, and I knew it, and I just let it happen. She doesn't need someone who doesn't take action."

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs.

"And to be honest? I don't feel like going through the guy who's already doing more than I ever could. Thanks for caring so much about her...but maybe you should spend your time where it matters more - like making her happy?"

[stellarhistoria]

"So I've been wondering." Neff parks herself down right next to Orlain. "And hopefully this is okay to ask, but, what season do I remind you of? Not in the way that they normally apply to you but more like, the way you feel them to be. If that's something not really possible it's alright. Just a curiosity I'm seeing if I can scratch."

inbox call // accepting. // @cosmicdreamt.

"It's not that simple," he sighs, crossing his arms for a moment as he looks across the woman for a moment, debating on his answer. if he should answer or if he should just say what she would like to hear. after a moment of consideration, he realizes she would be huffy if he didn't give an honest answer through and through.

so he rolls his eyes and starts to gesture as he talks,

"Seasons for the Eladrin are not something that can singularly define a person. They aren't just some astrological symbol that holds... well, I suppose to some, astrology holds as much meaning to themselves as the seasons mean to the Eladrin." he explains with a little bit of a huff of laughter. "I won't say that any of this will make sense, but you did ask me and I rarely make sense these days. So, have a seat while I figure out how to explain this."

after waiting for her to take a seat, he looks off to the side, curious as to how she'd respond. wondering if she'd shun him, or if she'd then understand why there is slowly more pale frosted blue in his hair than the muted burgundy that she met him with, if for a time she saw him with an angry, red hot orange that seemed like it could glow in the dark ( and likely did ). he wonders if, then, she'd understand why he doesn't talk about himself, about colors, about fashion surrounding those pesky stereotypes of the seasons in human culture where he goes.

"The seasons, in my culture, do not ah... they aren't a fashion statement, not for most of us. It's involuntary. Some of us respond to every little thing that happens to us, while others respond to large life events. Myself, I believe it's the memories that shape what colors we represent. The seasons only match insofar that you believe they do... but then again, there has always been a commodity for some colors for spring."

he jests for a moment as he steps over to lean against the counter of her cafe front booth, crossing his arms again as almost half burning orange and half pale blue falls in front of his face in strands like a curtain of flame and frost.

"The seasons represent all the things you remember, which is why some elves can control what season they represent, if they're old enough. I don't know why but I think I can vaguely recall someone having black hair in a dramatic 'magical girl' transformation - but goth, almost. You know?" he sighs, though, and it's implied that he doesn't even want to talk about it.

"You, though? If I had to pick a single season?"

neff, in all her capability to love despite her penchant for choosing the wrong people to love. nefeloma, in all her strength and power and choosing to remain gentle and calm. marianela, in all her calls to her home and her people, the love she shows for where she comes from and the people who have made her who she is. his friend, in all her quiet reflection for the way that the world is so beautiful despite everything it has done to her.

"... Autumn."

the season of accepting that even in death, there is beauty.

[mythicalminded]

orlain tags

♡.   orlain.ic     ⁄ ⁄   the soldier who isn’t .

♡.   orlain.aesthetic     ⁄ ⁄   the soldier who isn’t .

♡.   orlain.visage     ⁄ ⁄   the soldier who isn’t .

♡.   orlain.v01 ( main )     ⁄ ⁄   just a ghost of a man pretending to live .

♡.   orlain.v02 ( modern )     ⁄ ⁄   boost the numbers ; maybe the emptiness will fade .

♡.   orlain.about     ⁄ ⁄   i’m only a man ; what am i supposed to do ?

♡.   orlain.bond: ( jacqueline )     ⁄ ⁄   the sword to the shield .

♡.   orlain.bond: ( jack )     ⁄ ⁄   why was it you ?

♡.   orlain.bond: ( morik )     ⁄ ⁄   hopelessly intertwined with you .

♡.   orlain.thoughts     ⁄ ⁄   if anyone’s listening could you open your heart ?

♡.   orlain.asks     ⁄ ⁄   always has something to say .

♡.   orlain.bond: ( aurelia )     ⁄ ⁄   take my hand & don’t let go .

♡.   orlain.bond: ( tanros )     ⁄ ⁄   this is a ship & you are the captain .

♡.   orlain.bond: ( neff )     ⁄ ⁄   magic where night falls .

♡.   orlain.v03 ( madmans.executioner )     ⁄ ⁄   villains arent born theyre made .

♡.   orlain.bond: ( anton )     ⁄ ⁄   aces up cut sleeves .

[stellarhistoria]

"Whew, okay." There was clearly a lot on the tray. "The black cat macarons are blackberry cheesecake, green eyes sour apple, and salted caramel. The poison apple macaron is just salted caramel apple if you want the combo instead of the separate flavors. The cauldron cupcakes are just chocolate lava cake. The donuts are toffee date flavor, spiced apple chai with actual apple compote in it, and maple chai. Can you tell I've been prepping for the holiday?"

inbox call. / @cosmicdreamt. / orlain & neff.

he knows, somewhere inside of him, that she isn't looking for critique in this matter, but he wants so badly to say something on how to make it easier on herself to continue making this recipe, and then speed it up. but at the end of the day, it is HER RECIPE and not his, something of which he only respects from those who he knows can actually cook and bake. it made him smile a little bit to know that he was one of the first that she came to in order to double check how it tastes.

so he takes one of the blackberry cheesecake and takes a big enough bite to eat but not enough to swallow the thing whole. ( he does that enough with something else, but he won't make that joke here, when they're talking about, presumably, a holiday. ) so he ends up pausing for a moment, slowly blinking.

then he looks up at her.

"You might want to get new flour in the next week or so." it's a simple little thing, but it's his way of looking out for her, and wanting her to be the best that she can be without stressing herself out. but he does eat the rest of it, and nods. "It's great, luv. As usual."

[stellarhistoria]

from here. / @cosmicdreamt. / orlain & neff.

it felt like a noose around his neck, or perhaps strings that threaten to cut him into pieces from how tight they pulled him every which way and yet opposite from another. it felt like a curse, a sort of damning notion to make the note aloud that he had fallen in love before, and yet his foolhardy belief that people were good, that once he truly believed that no one would intentionally harm another... it led to him getting hurt by that same belief. in his own home, by his ex lover.

and the worst part is: that's all he remembers.

the pain of it, the sting of betrayal, the sudden crashing knowing that her words had been all lies, the suffocation of every piece of the relationship turning to rubble and crashing on him, the hopes on a distant star to grant him a wish so far from its light, the sight of seeing her with someone else. he wishes he could forget. he wishes he could never think about it again. but after all is said and done, this is the one thing he has to tie him to a past that both is and isn't his. a past tied in nooses and drawstrings, and a future flowing in tides and breezes.

that was his curse, he supposed; haunted and haunting, ephemeral and infinite. infinitesimal in his own infinity.

"... I don't even remember my own best friend because of her." his voice is bitter with a sort of sadness that only someone with supposedly bad memory could have. "I would have taken any other memory. Anything else. But no, in a world - in a war where every soldier remembers nothing of who they are, I've been given the grief of remembering the feeling of betrayal."

but he pauses at her words, curious and uncertain. she speaks boldly yet softly, as if every word could be the last between them. she speaks as if she's known that same feeling and came out of it without any of his rage. she speaks as if she knew, knows, will continue to know the feeling of HEARTBREAK. the feeling of ( never again, not like this, this agony will kill me if i feel it once more ). she is kind in her fury, where he is distant and hateful in his own.

"... You deserve a good person, too." he says with a quietness that is unlike him. "You deserve what you say everyone else deserves. You deserve the kindness of a good morning, and the gentleness of a kiss from someone who knows you. You deserve more than what you believe you do. I..." ( i wish i could be that for you, but i can't. not the way i am. ) "...hope you can find that person."

[stellarhistoria]

"you're the prettiest thing i've ever seen." for Orlain. Woe softness be upon ye to help soothe ye brain

pretty faces / / @cosmicdreamt. / / orlain & neff.

he doesn't know how to respond, and he's not sure he's going to have a response that will make the conversation end where it started.

brows furrow at the comment ; she has seen, learned, heard so much and she still calls him PRETTY? it came as a bit of a surprise, knowing that she stayed alone, even when she found out such horrible things he's done, and things he will continue to do. she knows that he's gotten hurt due to recklessness, due to desire, due to not thinking. she knows that she's talking to a foolish man, a ghost of someone who doesn't deserve any of the love they had, the echo of a name that people seem to love.

and yet she calls him PRETTY.

he makes a noise that holds no real conversation, because he has nothing good to say. he has nothing that she wouldn't argue, nothing she wouldn't see beauty in, and he knows it, as angry, as self hating, as empty as he is. it was an echo chamber of so much anger roaring like an engine in his heart, and occasionally something like this would gum up the gears.

it's easier to think of a thing as pretty than a person.

at least that's what he tells himself to make it easier to accept the words.

"...'re prettier." he mumbles, finally.

[stellarhistoria]

Can, has, and will continue to call him pretty uwu

orlain vc: for legal reasons this is a joke / / @cosmicdreamt.

"You're both cheatin'." he can't deny the smile on his lips, though. he's not so embarrassed from these as he possibly should be... not when his actual boyfriend fills out everything but two, maybe three, on the sheet.