#âïžðâ§âË reblogs
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Endos will never be in the same boat because they don't suffer through the harsh realities of CDDs. The trauma responses, the flashbacks, the anxiety, the paranoia, the dysphoria surrounding one's own identity, the fear and confusion surrounding not knowing who you are or where you are or what you're meant to do. They aren't even in a boat at all, they're sitting on the shore building sandcastles. Most of them are having a grand old time because they only wanna deal with the "fun" parts of dissociative disorders, not the violent waves of suffering that actual systems go through on a daily basis.
Wish some people would stop acting like they're being drowned when they've barely even set foot in the water.
"We're all in the same boat no matter the origin" Wrong.
Fundamentally wrong. If I have trauma, and you don't we are not in the same boat.
-ð§ââïž (He/him)
#âïžðâ§âË reblogs#âïžðâ§âË yapping#syscourse#tw syscourse#anti endo#endos dni#syspunk#systempunk#endos do not interact#actually did#actually a system
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i donât think this bra is the right choice for my hike this morning but at the same time it is
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it's the way she's still going for me LMFAOOOOO @greedaeye
#{ do i dare reblog to the other pages }#ৠâ§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ so when my thoughts take off may i breathe deep â ooc .#ৠâ§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ youâll always be a flower on my skin and the pain that i am in â mentions .
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moonflower would be a very nice system name!! as a fun fact for you all, moonflowers are often associated with immortality (this meaning is derived from Chinese culture, i believe? correct me if im wrong!! /gen). tbh im probably reading into things way too much but if you combine that meaning with hope and love (two other common meanings for moonflowers) it creates a nice message of what a system is meant to be. while in a way systemhood creates something "immortal" from trauma, it can also create a safe space for traumatized individuals and give them hope for a better life!
i also really like moonflowers, so im biased loll
-- Starlite (Gojo Posting)
thinking about changing our system name to the Starflower system or The Moonflower system
do either of those sound weird? Weâve been on and off about em lol and wanted another opinion
â ð
personally, I think both sound cool. but I like the starflower more.
#âïžðâ§âË reblogs#âïžðâ§âË yapping#anti endo#endos dni#traumagenic did#did osdd#actually traumagenic#actually did#did system
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ážážã_ãintro under the cut
ããscottã Ëãlloyd ãð
ããðãౚà§ãheãhimãit
ããyanãirlãâžâžãlovesick
â ââ â
infoãâãâŽ
ðð²ã01ã-ãi am a minor . however , i'm fine with people from any age range interacting . just don't be weird . i don't have a dni , i block freely
âïžã02ã-ãthis blog is a safe space for me to vent and rant , any negativity or hateful comments will be blocked
ðð²ã03ã-ãthis is a vent blog so triggering topics ( such as s / h ) will be mentioned . that doesn't mean that i encourage those behaviors . i am pro-recovery
âïžã04ã-ãfeel free to text me if you need someone to talk to , i'll try my best to be as helpful as possible â¡
â ââ â
extraãâãâŽ
@ãbundlrs . cc
#ËËËã➻➻➻ãðµðµãmy tagsãðïžâžâžã➻➻➻ãËËË#âââ ðâðŠŽâlovesickâ â#âââ ðâð§Ÿâpicsâ â#âââ ðââïžâreblogâ â#âââ ðââïžâasksâ â#âââ ðâðŠ·âmy artâ â#âââ ðâð³ïžâmiscâ â
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â @honeymoon àšàš
âŠ ï¹ â ð ð âž ë³ ê ﹫
âŠ. â¹ Ë . ext : ð±
â¹ ð Û« ï¹ðŽðºðððŸðï¹ Ûª Ö¹ àšàš 
âââ © ð film by (...)â
ð¯ . Ý âŠ Ý . â±ã ð£ð²ð®ð¿ ððŒðŒð» ã â°
. á ð£ððð¡ððð ððšððð â±
⊠ðŒðŸðŸðœð»ðžð¶ð·ð ð¹ áÝ
ï¹ðððœ ⣠ðð·ðžðœðŽï¹
ð¶ð'ð ððµð² ð
ðððð
ðŸ ðððððð
⺠ðŠðšðšð§ððððð ï¹ââ
ð¿ â ð
ðððð
ðŸ ððð
ðð ï¹
Ø ððºððœÃð ðŸð ððððððððð à§à
ââ ðŽð»ðŽð¶ð°ðœð²ðŽ ØØ ðº ! â¡Ìž
ï¹ððð ï¹ ØØ ð¯ðšð¥. ðð âºððŠð¥ðŠðð
â¢ ï¹ ððð â
ððð â
ð·ððððð â
. ⢠⣠ððºððððð
ðºðððð, ððððð, ð»ðºðœ ððŸðððŸð.
Ø̲ ððð ððð ððŸðŸ ðºð² ââ ðð
ð
ððððð»ððð
ââ ððððð&ð¢ð«ðŽð¡
ã
ۋ
€ Ûª ð
ê° íí ê± Ûª Ý ð·ð· : ð·ð· Ý Ûª à§
âËâ name / age : prns âïž
ðïž âââ ( @user ) ðð â¹
â â â â ê° âððððð ðððð ðððð¡ðððððð ð¡ ê±
ð²ðŸ ððŸððŸ ððð ðŒð
ðððŸ ðð ðððŸ ðððºðð
âž USERNAME ââââ ð§ame .
ðð ðºððŸðºðœ ðºððœ ðŒðð, ð
ðððð
ðŸ ðððð
, ððð»ððœð ðœððŸð ðð ð
ðððŸ ððð ðœð
ðð¯àŽ¯ââ ï¹âï¹ à£ª ÖŽ prettiest girl ð
â¡â± sweetest girl in town ïœ¡ïŸ àšà§â
ãã áã âãà§àãê«ãá±
ãã âŠã ð ã áªã â©©ã ê©
ãã â
ã ⧠ãà·§ãâ¡ãá
ãã ଠã â ã áãêãâ©
ã
ۋ
€Ë á¡£ Ûª â (É) ððððð£ð×ð ðððð¡ àŒŠ ࣪ ð
ã
ۋ
ۋ
€ð ã
€à¹ Ûª âžïž Ö¹ â àšàš Û«
ð. `ðºð
¥ ð àŒ ð¯ð¢ð®ðŠ ¡!
àšà§ ã Ma chérie, are you missing me? â£ïž â
áŽïœ¥ "i wanna be yours" â¹
ð¡ïž â ÖŽ ٬٬ ðŸâ©% ꣌ ððâðð Û« ïžµ â§
ðš ððºðð ðððŸ ðððð
ðœ ðð ðð ððºððœð
â¹ð¹ ⢠ıllı ' song
⪠â
lyrics'
ðžâ®â
âËâ¹ â¡ "ðª ðµð©ðªð¯ð¬ ðª ðµð©ðªð¯ð¬ ðµð°ð° ð®ð¶ð€ð©"
â â â â â ⧠â¿ïžµ â ðððŸ â â Í . â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â ððððð â â ×
࣪ â¹ â Û« .
â ê° Ûª âð Û â â ð¢Íð€Íð€Íð£ â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â ð¥ð§ðð£ðððšðš ê¯ ê±ã
€
àšÍàš ââã
€ ððð« ã
€ ⊠ã
ۋ
€âïžã
ۋ
ۋ
€ðŠ·
ã
ۉNj
€ðŒððºðð»ðŸðã
ۋ
€ðð.ã
ۋ
€rðŸð¿ð
ðŸðŒðıonã
€× . °ã
€
ðð¢ðð ð¥ã
€ ðœðŠð¢ð³ðµ ð
ââ â
Ë Ì𧞠!! â¬ð¢ð£ðº, ð'ð¢ ð«ð®ð¬ð ðð¿ðððð ðµðš ð±ðð¢ðº ðªðµ ð°ð°ð°ð ðµðªðµ ð ð·ðð€ðµ ð€ð¢ð'ðµ ð©ðªðð ð¡âðð¡ ð ðžð®ð»ð ðŠðð¶ ᶻ ð ᅵᅵᅵᅵ .á
âºâŠ 𧧠ð â¡.° age: ‟
ââ like or reblog ; © V O G H E
#twitter layouts#twitter layout#twitter packs#rp bios#cute bios#twitter bios#short bios#coquette bios#messy bios#kpop bios#aesthetic symbols#cute symbols#messy moodboard#messy layouts#long locs#messy locs#cute locs#soft locs#symbols#kpop layouts#discord emoji#emoji bios#discord emojis#emoji mashup
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EVERYONE SHUT UP
look i turned my dog into a nun
#i would commit unspeakable crimes to keep him safe#ok to reblog#dumb ass shit âŸâïž à£ª ÖŽÖ¶ÖžÖŽÖ¶ÖžÖŽÖ¶ÖžÖŽÖ¶ÖžÖŽÖ¶ÖžÖŽÖ¶ÖžÖŽÖ¶ÖžÖŽÖ¶âðð
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you guys should send my bestie asks <33 (/nf ofc but also go show myst some love!! he deserves it :D)
-- Starlite (Gojo Posting)
Send me asks,, I beg.
-Gryphon
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ÑÐœÑ Î±ÑÐœ ÏÆ ÑÐœÑ ÐœÏÐŒÑ ÑÐœÎ±Ñ Î¹ ÑÑαÑÑÑâ ÑÐœÑ ÆιÑÑ Î¹Î· . . .
Î¹Ñ ÑÑαÑÑÑ ÑÏ ÑÑÑÏ
Ñη ÑÏ ÑÐœÑ ÑαÑÑÐœ . . .
#{ reblogging livs promo reminded me to FINALLY fix the speed of mine ffs ð }#ৠâ§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ so pack up your car ; put a hand on your heart â promo .#ৠâ§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ say whatever you feel ; be wherever you are â self promo .
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Tag directory!
ââââââââââââââ
âã»ð¿ðâšË â â¹ ðððð ðð ððððð ;; irl . amy lee
âã»ððâšË â â¹ ðððððð ðð ððððð ;; my love . beatrice reden
âã»ðžðâšË â â¹ ððððð
ðð ððððð ;; my love . orchid
âã»ð·ðâšË â â¹ð ðððððð ðððð ;; asks . answered
âã»ð·ðâšË â â¹ð ðððððð ð
ðððððð ;; asks . in character
âã»ð·ðâšË â â¹ð ðððððð ððððððððð ;; roleplays . answered
âã»ð·ðâšË â â¹ð ðððððð ððð ;; roleplays . starter
âã»ð«ðâšË â â¹ð
ððððððð
ðððð ;; out of character
âã»ð«ðâšË â â¹ð
ððððððð
ðððð ;; in character
âã»ð«ðâšË â â¹ð
ððððððð
ððððð ;; reblogs
âã»ð«ðâšË â â¹ð
ððððððð
ðððð
ððð ;; memes âž crack
âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . caleb brewster
âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . abraham woodhull
âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . anna strong
âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . yuri
âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . kyoko kirigiri
âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . sol
âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . others
âã»ð¯ðâšË â â¹ððððð ðððð ððððð ;; fandoms
âã»ð¯ðâšË â â¹ðððð ðððð ððððð ;; headcanons
âã»ð¯ðâšË â â¹ðððð ðððð ððððð ;; misc
#âã»ð¿ðâšË â â¹ðððð ðð ððððð ;; irl . amy lee#âã»ððâšË â â¹ðððððð ðð ððððð ;; my love . beatrice reden#âã»ðžðâšË â â¹ ððððð
ðð ððððð ;; my love . orchid#âã»ð·ðâšË â â¹ð ðððððð ðððð ;; asks . answered#âã»ð·ðâšË â â¹ð ðððððð ð
ðððððð ;; asks . in character#âã»ð·ðâšË â â¹ð ðððððð ððððððððð ;; roleplays .#âã»ð·ðâšË â â¹ð ðððððð ððð ;; roleplays . starter#âã»ð«ðâšË â â¹ð
ððððððð
ðððð ;; out of character#âã»ð«ðâšË â â¹ð
ððððððð
ðððð ;; in character#âã»ð«ðâšË â â¹ð
ððððððð
ððððð ;; reblogs#âã»ð«ðâšË â â¹ð
ððððððð
ðððð
ððð ;; memes âž crack#âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . caleb brewster#âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . abraham woodhull#âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . anna strong#âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . yuri#âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . kyoko kirigiri#âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . sol#âã»âïžðâšË â â¹ðððððððð ððððð ;; irl . others#âã»ð¯ðâšË â â¹ððððð ðððð ððððð ;; fandoms#âã»ð¯ðâšË â â¹ðððð ðððð ððððð ;; headcanons#âã»ð¯ðâšË â â¹ðððð ðððð ððððð ;; misc
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wildflower and barley -- joel miller x reader
pairing + fandom: joel miller x reader, the last of us (hbo)
word count: 5k+ oops
warnings/notes: smut smut smut!!! minors DNI, 18+!!! no outbreak!au. age gap (it's implied reader is in her 20s while joel is 45) and mentions of joel being kinda perverted and liking it lol. drinking (both reader and joel, not excessive), use of a dating app like tinder but not specified, unprotected PIV w creampie and oral (m+f receiving), do not fuck your tinder hookups without protection i'm just horny and gross. excessive use of darlin' as a nickname. implied that reader likes men. she/her pronouns used, afab!reader (with mentions of body parts), no use of y/n. if i missed anything lmk!
a/n: heavily inspired by this post by @yesttoheaven about joel's tinder profile!! it has been rotting my brain since i saw it which literally inspired me to write my first fic in the tlou fandom ever so please be gentle with me. i imagined show!joel because i've never played the game so do with that what you will. please reblog and leave comments if u enjoy it <3333
divider by @cafekitsune
summary: after deciding to change your age range on a dating app in hope of a change of scenery, you stumble across joel miller.
No one likes using dating apps.
Swiping left, left, left mindlessly at troves of men holding fish, showing off their trucks, or with deer heads mounted to the walls behind their selfies holding guns.
This was Texas, after all.
Having just moved here, it was a little shocking, to say the least. But you were getting used to the âeligibleâ bachelors that were your age generally looking and acting the same. When you did end up finding someone of interest, you were usually turned off pretty quickly by whatever shitty pick-up line they had chosen. Or, your personal favourite, âwanna fuck?â
No thanks.
It was an idyllic summer evening, the hot stuffy air of Austin flowing in through your windows. You laid in bed, propped up on the pillows against your headboard and sorting through the faces that adorned your screen. No one particularly interesting, as usual, and every profile was starting to melt together to look the same.
You sighed, looking into your settings, adjusting and increasing different metrics to hopefully change the pool just enough for there to be someone new or interesting.Â
Age range: 25-30
Your eyebrow cocked as you looked onto the screen, pulling the slider more to the right experimentally. No one was here to see you, and even though it was slightly embarassing to be interested in older men, youâd be lying if you said it didnât pique your interest to imagine it. Even just to try, and see, if they ever really did grow up. You imagined it was wishful thinking, but increased the range anyways.
Age range: 35-45
Feeling the need to throw your phone across the room after doing that, you placed it face down under your pillow and slid out of bed. No use in swiping through them now, and you were getting tired of looking. A pint of Ben and Jerryâs and a new episode of your favourite show was waiting for you downstairs.
â§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžâŸ
Joel Miller does not use dating apps.
He barely knows how to send a text on his phone, let alone navigate the world of online women. Not to say he didnât explore the options, so to speak, but they usually were not ones that were single, his age, and in his area. Unless the ads on those sites were real, that is.
âItâs starting to get sad,â Sarah had remarked at breakfast, when they got on the topic, and Joel feigned hurt. Hand over his heart, he dropped his fork onto the plate. âItâs not sad, Jesus. Iâm just busy, is all.â
âBusy not gettinâ busy,â Sarah remarked, and Joelâs eyes widened. âHey now! None of that.â
A blush spread up his cheeks and ears as they continued to eat breakfast in slightly awkward silence, before Joel took his plate to the sink. âOkay, off to school, you. And no more conversations about my dating life. Ever.â
Sarah laughed as she finished off the last of the juice in her glass. âIâm just saying, dad. You can if you want to. Might be nice for you.â
Joel planted a soft kiss to her head before she bounded out the door, rolling his eyes and calling out a âlove youâ before she closed the door swiftly behind her. Joel stared at his cell phone on the table. Maybe it would be nice.
â§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžâŸ
The following evening, you were a little too excited to see the dating app specimens you had acquired. Not sure what to expect, really, and you went in with no expectations. Itâs not like theyâd magically all be tall, dark, and handsome, but some variety never killed anybody.
Paul, 41
Daddy, but not yours. No libs allowed. 6â because that matters.
You sighed deeply. Some things never change.Â
After swiping through much of what you were used to, a profile managed to catch your eye among the sea of disappointment.
Joel, 45
Just a Southern gentleman trying this out for the first time. Contractor of over 10 years. I love my daughter, BBQ, strong coffee, and sleeping in.Â
Now that was the most interesting thing youâd seen in a while.
He didnât look a day over 40. His eyes creased at the corners when he smiled wide in his photos. He looked tan, a product of the Texas heat and his job, you thought. His features were accompanied by salt-and-pepper facial hair and messy curls that looked soft and pliable. His photos showed off his physique incredibly, tight wash-worn t-shirts pulling over his arms and shoulders, looking big, broad. He was no doubt the most handsome man youâd seen on an app, maybe ever.
When you swiped right before you could think too hard, you were surprised to see the green âMatch!â Flash across your screen.
Your fingers ghosted over the keyboard on your phone, thinking of a witty thing to say, probably for too long.
Your phone buzzed as you saw a notification pop up.
Joel has sent you a message.
Hey, darlinâ. How are ya?
You felt your face warm at the sweet message, when was the last time someone had called you darlinâ? Ever?
Hey cowboy. Iâm great, how are you?
He was certainly an eager responder, taking only a few seconds to reply. You found yourself smiling down at your phone screen.
Cowboy⊠I like that. Iâm better now that Iâm talking to you.
Oh, Joel, who told you to say that? ð
No good?
Not bad. 6/10.Â
Only 6/10? Iâll work on it. I like to think Iâm better in person.Â
I would love to find out.Â
You found yourself emboldened by how easy the conversation was flowing. Joel was certainly easy to talk to, easier than the other matches you had going for you, and infinitely more handsome.
Oh, would you? Alright. Iâd love to take you to dinner sometime. If you donât mind being seen with an old man such as myself in public. Or meeting a stranger from the internet.
Heâs a very handsome stranger. I would love to go to dinner with you. Know any good spots? Iâm new around here.
Thereâs a great barbecue spot in downtown Austin. If youâd prefer something fancier, let me know.
I love bbq. Just tell me where and when, cowboy.
Tomorrow, 7pm ok?
You sent him your phone number in the message. Fuck it.
Sounds great. Text me the address, Iâll be there. :)
Joelâs reply didnât come. Instead, a text appeared at the top of your screen with an unknown number.Â
Itâs Joel. This the right number?
Yup. You found me.
Great. Talk tomorrow sweetheart. Looking forward to it. :)
He texted you the address of the restaurant, right before you opened the contact card, saving his name as âcowboy â¡â.
â§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžâŸ
Cowboy. Cowboy. Cowboy. It was playing over in his head like a broken fuckinâ record.Â
Joel was positively freaking out about this date.
Sarah had managed to secure a sleepover at her friendâs place, so the house would be empty for the night. He had been busying himself with cleaning the entirety of the house, even taking the time to mow the grass before work and vacuum the family room. He canât remember the last time he vacuumed anywhere.
Would she even make it back here? How does this work? Will she want to sleep over or hang out on the couch or should he be making a dessert for after?
His mind was brought out of itâs craze by Sarah jumping down the stairs. She plopped her bag down on the freshly wiped countertop.
âCareful,â he warned, putting a hand up. âI just cleaned that off.â
âI can tell. It smells like the cleaning aisle threw up in here.â
He smirked before patting her head with his hand, as she aggressively smoothed out her hair. âDad! Donât!â
âWhen do you wanna go to Ellieâs?â He asked, more gaging how long he has left to get ready than actually asking.
âProbably soon. Why? Tryna get rid of me?â she poked her dad in the side, but when she flinched away instead, a large smile spread across her face. He was tense.
âWhatâs your deal?â Joel hated the way she knew him so well sometimes.
âNothing.â
âAre you going on a date?â
Silence fell over the kitchen between the two of them, as Joelâs shoulders slumped in defeat. âHow did you know?â
âOh my god, you actually took my advice,â Sarah laughed, watching her dadâs face burn red with embarrassment. âJust donât do anything weird on communal surfaces, please.â
Joel shook his head at her suggestion, already becoming annoyed with the whole prospect. He was so nervous, about what to wear, how to act, what the expectation was⊠let alone, what would happen if they made it back to his place at all.Â
Although, when he was able to shake his nerves for a second, he was just really fucking excited.
âWear those dark jeans, and that green shirt you wore to Tommyâs last week. Looks good on you.â Sarah smiled as she put her arms around Joelâs middle, while his worries melted away with her touch. âSheâll love you, I promise.â
â§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžâŸ
It had been such a long time since youâd been on a proper date, you were starting to lose your mind at the simple process of deciding what to wear.
Clothes were strewn across every surface of your apartment, shoes matching with jeans that matched with cardigans, tops that matched with belts and jackets.
Itâs 87 degrees at 5 oâclock, idiot. Youâre not wearing a jacket. Relax.
Exhausted of picking out outfits and making decisions, you collapsed on your couch and took a look at your options. You landed on an easy sundress, putting the rest of your clothes back in their respective drawers, and pulling out all of the products you were expecting to use to get ready.
You scrolled through your phone aimlessly as a notification bubble popped up on the screen.
We still on for tonight darlinâ? Or did you change your mind?
No worries if you did. I respect that.
You let out a cackle at the message, thinking about how he must look right now. Was he nervous? Scared? Was he just looking for a controversially young fuck?
You werenât⊠completely against that.
Didnât change my mind, wouldnât in a million years :)
Meet you there. Canât wait to see you.
His eagerness to meet up wouldâve been a red flag if it were any other run of the mill guy, but something about Joel felt special. There didnât seem to be any funny business with him; too sincere to try anything other than just a good old fashioned date.
You too, cowboy.
â§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžâŸ
When Joel showed up at the restaurant, he clenched a small bouquet of pink peonies in his right hand and checked his watch obsessively. The minutes ticked away, as he kept a high alert for anyone who could be his potential date. He knew what you looked like, of course, but this being his first time doing anything of this sort is making him hyperaware of anything going awry.
When he does lay eyes on you, his whole gaze softens. A pink sundress, hair pristinely styled and a bounce in your step that reminded him of summer. You looked like an angel, the sunset behind you painting the sky tangerine, which reflected off of the shine against your supple skin. So young, beautiful, it was taking his breath away.
âJoel?â
Your voice matched your sweet demeanour, and he was taken out of his waking daydream.
âHi,â is all he can say, letting his breath out as he relaxed. âYes, hi, sorry. Iâm Joel.â
âHi,â you laugh back, eyes darting to the flowers in his hand. They matched your dress.
âThese are for you,â he gets the hint, extending his arm out, and you can see the veins bulging in his forearm. He looked so much stronger in person, it was making your knees go weak.
âThank you, wow,â you held them up to your nose to smell the sweet aroma. âI love peonies.â
âMe too,â he smiled, showing off a string of pearly white teeth, that contrasted with the pink of his lips and the even tan of his skin.
âShall we?â He extended his arm to you for you to grab onto, and you got to feel the warmth of his skin for yourself. Your hand wrapped around his forearm as he opened the door of the restaurant for you, leading you inside and catching a glimpse of the backs of your thighs as you walked in front of him.
â§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžâŸ
When you were finally sitting, the conversation flowed easily. He was truly a Southern gentleman, like he had said. It wasnât normal for you to open up so quickly, but Joel was so easy going and smart, he asked the right questions and knew when to listen. He knew how to listen, a warm gaze and a nod along, asking follow up questions to your answers and easily getting to know you.
You asked about his daughter, his family, his work. He was happy to tell you.Â
âSo, whatâs a man like you doing being single in this city?â You take a sip of the wine in the glass in front of you, burgundy staining your bottom lip.Â
He takes a bite of the food in front of him, a napkin pressing to his lips quickly after. âBeen busy,â he started to say, honey brown eyes meeting yours for a second. His gaze sent an electrifying pulse down your spine.
âAnd, well, when Sarahâs mom left there was a ton to do,â he says it nonchalantly, as if that should be something normal to happen. âHouse, work, school, she keeps my hands full. Hasnât been a lot of time.â His syrupy drawl is pulling you in, youâre enticed by the way he speaks to you. So easy, warm, soft. You wonder what his hands feel like on your body, lips pressed to your neck, torso pressed against yours.
âSorry, thatâs a lot of information for a first date,â he laughs to cover the awkwardness, and quietly curses himself for going into so much detail about his precarious family situation and basically admitting to you that he hasnât fucked anything other than his hand in the last 5 or so years.
âNo, itâs okay,â you slide your hand across the table, palm up, urging him to slot his hand into it. He takes it, easily, enveloping yours. His fingers find the pulse point on your wrist. You let your eyes drift up to his, drinking in the way his chest fills out the shirt he chose.
âWhatâs your story?â He asks earnestly, giving your hand a squeeze. âCanât imagine there isnât a long line of people outside waiting to take my place, darlinâ.â
You blush furiously at the nickname, and let your eyes meet his once again. âYou have no idea the⊠mess that is out there,â the wine is calling your name to take another sip at the mere thought, but you refrain. âCertainly not too many I am interested in.â
âSo, is that why youâre on a date with an old man on a beautiful summer night in Austin?â
You could tell Joel, in a twisted way, liked that you were younger than him. It made him feel younger by admission, that youâd want to spend time with him.Â
âYouâre not that much older,â you laugh, not even believing it yourself as the words left your lips. âAnd I like to try new things. Donât you like trying new things, sometimes?â
It was his turn to let his face go red at your insinuation. If only you knew how ânewâ this really was for him, how much he was pushed out of his comfort zone right now.
You didnât notice.Â
A little more polite small talk and exchanging of stories was all you could take before the tension was becoming too much. After another glass of wine and a shared plate of sky-high chocolate cake for dessert, you were enjoying his company and could tell he was enjoying yours all the same. When you met his gaze again, hands still intertwined, you could tell there was a question on the tip of his tongue.
âWould you want toâŠâ - a nervous pause, with a halo of lust - âcome back to mine for a nightcap? Iâve got an empty house this evening.â
You couldnât help but smirk, knowing in your heart that Joel mustâve made arrangements for his family not to be home in anticipation. He had to have planned for you, known in his heart youâd say yes.
âIâd love that.â
â§âË âïžâ
â¡ð ࣪ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžâŸ
Joelâs home is unmistakably him. It smells like a pine candle that sits near the front door and a faint aroma of laundry detergent. Thereâs photos everywhere, him and his daughter, his brotherâs family. Big windows were letting in the twinkling lights of the city outside, the inky sky making them look brighter against its canvas.
âYou have a beautiful home,â you say, although it seems a little formal for the situation. What else do you say to a grown-up in their house?
âThank you,â he takes a bottle of whiskey from the bar cart and pours two rock glasses, handing you one. He flicks on a lamp, ambient light filling the room and painting his skin amber orange, as he joins your side by his kitchen table.
âI did a lot of the construction myself, the decorations are my daughter.â He points lazily to the trinkets on the shelves and photos on the wall. âI donât really have a good eye for that type of stuff.âÂ
You take a sip from the drink and it coats your throat, burning down as you suppress a cough at the taste. You nod along as he explains the design choices he made in the home, and you play along, knowing itâs likely out of anxiety.
âWhat about upstairs?â
Your eyes are innocent as they meet his, although you understand the implication youâre making whole-heartedly. He puts his glass down on the kitchen table and you follow his lead, his strong hand around your wrist as he leads you up the stairs wordlessly.
âItâs not anything,â - he clears his throat - âspecial,â he shows you around the second floor, finishing at the door of his bedroom that has been left slightly ajar.Â
You step in quietly, leading him inside as you take in the bedroom. Neatly folded clothes, a made bed that looks well loved. Blue sheets and fluffy pillows, big bay windows that let the moonlight in.
âI think itâs nice,â you say simply, letting yourself turn around to meet his broad frame. He looks down at you slightly, eyes meeting yours as your hand drops from his grasp and snakes around his neck. His hands come up the sides of your dress, pulling it up slightly, but landing on your waist.
âIs this okay?â He asks tentatively in the dark of the room, his lips so close to yours already you can practically taste the whiskey on his lips for yourself. You answer him by pressing your tentative lips to his, slotting them together easily.
Joelâs grip on your waist tightens momentarily as he takes you in, pulling you as close as he possibly can. He can smell the perfume on your neck and the wine on your lips from earlier, and itâs making his need for you increase tenfold.Â
You pull him into you as you stumble back to let your knees hit his mattress, sitting down and letting your hands come to his belt buckle. Your hands came to undo it as he pulled his t-shirt off to throw onto the floor beside him, bending down to help you pull the dress over your shoulders to meet his t-shirt.
You made quick work of his jeans, pushing them to the ground and looking up at him with a keen glance. You could see the breath making his belly rise and fall, anticipating your touch on him any second.
When your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, his breath hitched and his head rolled back. He was already half-hard only from kissing you, so a few pumps made him easily ready for your mouth.
âYouâre so big,â is all you can think to say, head spinning from the sheer size of him right in front of your face. Your mouth watered at the way his hand palmed through your hair, pulling you in closer to him for some relief.
It was intoxicating to him, the way your mouth fit around his cock. Such a beautiful sight to see, your head licking and sucking at his tip, gathering spit there to lubricate him. His knees were going weak as he watched intently, no thought able to cross his mind, other than maybe how long it had been since heâd had anyone to do this with. He was going to have to pace himself if it was all like this.
Your mouth constrained around the length of him, taking him deeper and deeper with every bob of your head. Filthy sounds were filling the room now, of your eager mouth pulling him in as best you could. His hand stayed steady at the back of your head, not pushing, just softly pressed there for support. His other hand found your shoulder, pushing down your bra strap.
âGod, darlinâ,â was all he could choke out, using his hand to pull you off of him. Your hand lazily stroked him as you looked up at him, spit collecting at the corners of your mouth. âIâm not gonna last long if you keep doinâ that,â his laugh eased some of the tension in the room, as you took your other hand and wiped the spit away.
He leaned down, pressing a fervent kiss to your lips before using his own hands to unclasp your bra and let your breasts free. His lips traveled to the side of your neck, before he was kneeled down between your legs, sucking your nipple into his mouth. He lapped at you, all consuming, as his hand came up to grasp the other breast that wasnât being serviced. He moaned at the noises you were making, lewd whines into the night air that only encouraged him.Â
His lips made their way down your body to your clothed centre, your back against his soft sheets. You looked down at him intently, watching as he pulled your panties down your legs and immediately delved into your pussy with broad strokes of his tongue.
Your body jerked upwards at the contact, hand fisting the sheet beside you as he lapped at you, like a man starved. His expert tongue found your clit easily, sucking and licking at you for what felt like hours. You thought about his heavy cock between his legs, begging to be touched, hard as ever as he licked at you desperately.
âJoel,â you whined out, feeling your hand reach down to grab at his curls and push him deeper into you. That only made him moan, one hand lazily fisting his cock as the other came up to dip a finger into you, allowing you to see stars when you screwed your eyes shut.
His fingers were so large, pressed into your core as you fucked yourself on them and his tongue in tandem. He was groaning and grunting, and you hoped his neighbours couldnât see into the window at the desperate filth that was going on in his bedroom.
âFuck, Joel, please,â you begged, but he had no mercy, and your orgasm was creeping up on you. He was ready to watch you come undone, pushing a second finger into you and furiously sucking on your clit. His other hand left his own pleasure and wrapped around your breast, pressing and playing with the hard nub there, pinching to provide a little bit of sting to it. It was sending you into another dimension.
âCome for me, sweetheart,â and his voice is gravely and debauched, enough to send you into your first orgasm, chanting his name and pulling on his hair. He was happily licking at you, fingers still pressing in and out as to not mess up the rhythm, as you rode out your orgasm against his face.Â
When you started to come down, he finally detached himself from you before standing up between your legs and pressing his broad palms to your thighs. He stayed there for a moment, cock still hard and heavy between his legs as you gazed up at him, out of breath from his work.
âYouâre really good at that,â was all you could think to say, head clouded with arousal. You moved up on the bed a little, opening your legs and pressing your knees apart to show your pussy to him again.
âPlease fuck me, Joel,â you breathe out, letting your hand find your own clit to rub it teasingly for him. It was still so sensitive, but the way he was looking down at you, eyes dark and stormy with need, you could almost come again just from that.
He put a knee down on the bed and crawled on top of you, his lips finding yours once again as your hands found his face. You held him there, savouring the kiss as his tongue crashed against yours, all warmth and spit and the taste of you. His hand found your breast and continued to play with your nipples, softly, coaxing more moans into his mouth from yours.
He leaned back and slipped his cock inside of you, filling you up immediately and making you gasp. He groaned into the side of your neck, tonguing the side of your ear and kissing you feverishly as he pumped in and out of you.
Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him impossibly close, your moans filling the room as he rocked in and out of you. He kissed your jaw and chest, before reaching down between your bodies and pressing his thick finger to your clit again, using the wetness there to draw circles around your sensitive nub.
âSo pretty,â he smiles into your neck, your hand on the back of his, playing with the now-sweaty strands of hair on the nape. âSo pretty for me, taking my cock,â the dirty talking is welcome as he continues to bring you closer to a second orgasm, your breath hitching once again.
âCome inside of me,â you say it like a whisper, a secret in the stillness of the room, and Joel is unsure he even heard you correctly.
âAre you sure?â He says it not accusingly, but in a way that conveys he feels like he just won the lottery.
âYes, please, fill me up.â
You can see the way his eyes darken more, shifting so heâs on his knees and using your body to fuck himself on his thick cock. His hand continued to play with your clit, bringing you so close to your orgasm that tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. His cheeks were getting hot as he thrusted in and out furiously, and you could almost see the stress melt off of his face as he came close to his own undoing.
The white-hot feeling washes over you once again, eyes shutting before youâre back on your elbows and watching intently. Your whole body feels like itâs on fire as his thrusts become sloppy, your name pouring out of his lips like a prayer. Youâre clenching around him and letting him ride out his high alongside you, slowing after his hot cum coats your walls and leaves you full of him.
He collapses on top of you, cock softening inside as you both catch your breath together. Your chests are sticky with sweat as you breathe, taking in the smell of him, and the feel of his warmth on your body.
He pulls himself from you and flops beside you, still taking a moment to admire you. You look over at him, a lazy smile on your face as your hand reaches out to caress the skin of his chest. He takes the time to run his fingertips up your arms and back as you lay there in silence together, just soaking in the moment in a post-sex glow.
âI guess I should get going,â you say after a few beats, sitting up to grab your dress off the floor. You cringe at the thought of throwing your underwear on and leaving, this being just another random hookup for you that never lead to anything. Joel was sweet.
A confused look spreads across his features and his brows knit together, before sitting up next to you at the edge of the bed.
âI mean, I donât know how these things usually go,â he laughs, as his hand finds your lower back. âBut you donât gotta run outta here like a scared animal or somethinâ.â
You look up at him again, unsure of what to do next. In your, albeit limited, experience with dating app hookups, you were expected to leave pretty much right after.
âOh, um,â you look around the room at the soft worn-in sheets and the TV across from Joelâs bed. You take a look at him again, your eyes meeting his to match his gaze, where you can tell heâs mentally begging that youâll stay the night.
âI mean, if you donât mind, Iâd be happy to stay.â Joel smiled lopsidedly and let his hand rub soothing circles at your lower back.Â
âIâll make it worth your while,â he laughs, stepping over to go into the bathroom and warm up a cloth for the mess spilling out from between your legs. âI wouldnât mind wakinâ up and doing all that again tomorrow.â
You laugh and lay back onto his bed as he presses the warm cloth to your pussy, his lips once again finding yours to pull you in for a sweet kiss.Â
You nod, sliding between the comfortable sheets as Joel runs downstairs to grab your abandoned drinks as well as a couple of bottles of ice cold water. He slips into the sheets next to you, not bothering to throw on any pajamas (not that you were complaining), and settling in beside you. After a few gulps of water, you nestled into his chest and let your hand find his tummy, resting on it as you listened to the even pattern of his breath.
âWe should do this again. Like, after tomorrow morning.â you say quietly as youâre drifting in and out of sleep. His fingertips continues to slide across your arm and give you goosebumps as you snuggled closer into him, hearing a laugh exhale out of his nose and feeling a kiss press to the top of your head.Â
In his sleepy, deep southern drawl, he replies. âDonât have to ask me twice, darlinâ.â
#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#tlou fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x female reader#joel miller one shot#joel miller fic#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fanfic
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senile, bonkers, a little screws-loose-rattling-around-in-his-brain wacky if you will
--Zack
WTFFFF
-- Starlite
"god youre just.... senile." -zack
"WDYM SENILE????? IM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE SENILE--" -starlite
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these were created by me, like or reblog if u save/use!!
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ðŠ¹` BIO INSPO + emoji combos ! âžâž ËËË
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symbol packð ࣪ËðŠ¹â¹
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hi guys!!â I hope you liked the post I made it with great affection I'm sorry for not posting often, I'll be back with my normal routine soon.
please do not repost my content credits!!â
if you use reblog or like â
Thanks for all the support!! â
Byee~~~â¡
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