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caprica99 · 3 years ago

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Shadow and Bone rant, because I need it

Shadow and Bone has some incredible potential, both the books and the show, but neither actually lives up to it.

Alina could have been interesting. Cartographer is a rare profession for fictional characters, but in the books/show she's just a beginner (at 17/20 it's understandable). Make her at least 25 with 9 years of experience in the army, give her a promotion with subordinates she's responsible for and you would get a more interesting character who saw some serious shit in the army, acts like a soldier, and knows responsibility. (And maybe wants to stop the war at all cost, utilizing the Fold maybe.*wink, wink*)

It bothered me that we never saw her using cartography this profession that makes her unique for reaching her goals. In the show, she has dreams about the stag. It would have been interesting to see HER figuring out the whereabouts of the stag by using the stag's surroundings like mountains, specific types of trees, topography, etc. Work smarter, not harder.

Diana Bishop suffers from the same passiveness in the first book of the All Souls trilogy, but she actively uses her science historian background and those passages are the most interesting parts of her POV. Alina's interest in drawing and geography would give her a unique personality, and made her relatable to many (see ADoW and history nerds). Many YA heroines have a specific and useful skillset: Katniss-archery, Clary Fray-drawing, etc. Sadly, her entire personality is running away with Mal.

Mal's character feels pointless to me. The story depicts an oppressed minority group with special powers, and their struggles in the world, the heroine and the antagonist are both part of the said minority group, and he's constantly shown to be a bigot against the Grisha, so what makes him so important to the plot? His tracking skills? Give the job to a no-name tracker and I wouldn't miss him.

At least the show made him more likable, but Archie and Jessie still lack romantic chemistry. However his chemistry with his friends Mikhail and Dubrov was spot on, I really liked it. They showed life as a simple otkazat'sya soldier on the front, and their death was painful to watch. I thought that his friend's death would make a bigger impact on Mal, him wanting to get revenge on the fjerdans and end the war at all cost, and saying that maybe Kirigan's plan actually makes sense would make an interesting narrative. (They are at war dammit, there's no black and white only grey.)

Mal and Alina don't act like soldiers in a war-torn country, they act like American teenagers, and it's annoying. The General and Ivan are the only ones who act as soldiers in a 3 front war. When the villain shows the most responsibility in your story you should rewrite your heroes completely, or make the villain your hero.

The show is better than the books. It's a rare phenomenon but it is something everyone agrees upon. To me, the first book reads like a draft the author forgot to expand. The worldbuilding, the Grisha, and the characters were a perfect base to an original fantasy universe, but it all falls flat. The show made it richer by introducing multiple POVs and giving the actors more leeway (Ben Barnes ladies and gentlemen). But in the end, they had to stick to the books.

This is incredibly confusing to me because we have numerous fanfictions about Alina staying at the Little Palace, embracing her Grisha side, helping the Darkling because his plan makes sense, or changing his plan by coming up with a better one, or having dark!Alina etc... Clearly, this is what book fans wanted: giving Alina agency, make her realize that she had to work with the Darkling because she's Grisha too and they have the same goals but have different methods, let her be Professor X to Alexander's Magneto, ending the corrupt and incompetent Lantsov line, anything would have been better than taking Baghra's words at face value and running off.

Change I like: the whole West-Ravka storyline, it made the General decision understandable. Zlatan sold Grisha to the fjerdans, wanted to kill Alina and his actions could have led to a civil war, Kirigan only acted as a general of his time (not 21 century guys, we are talking about the unforgiving 19 century) and besides we only see the destruction of Zlatans army (BTW they were ready to kill everyone on the skiff) and not the whole city.

Change I don't like: making Alina half Shu. I'm not completely against it, but it was poorly executed. The racism Alina faces overshadows the Grisha-hate, rather than complementing it. Alina acts like being half Shu is somehow worse than being Grisha, eventough there are literal Holocausts going on against Grisha in two neighbouring countries, slavery in another, and the show never addresses it. This is the biggest problem with her character, she never embraces being Grisha, sides with the muggles, and makes her mission to kill the only person who stands between Grisha and persecution.

Would have been good: the show could have made little 5 minute scenes depicting the plight of Grisha in other countries. Either at the beginning or the end of every episode.

Episode 2: the Ice Court

Episode 3: the Shu concentration camps with the experimenting

Episode 4: slavery in Kerch

Episode 5: the Wandering Isle with consuming grisha blood

Episode 6: the Demon in the Woods storyline

Episode 7: Luda+Aleksander

And now... The Darkling/ Aleksander Morozov/ General Kirigan: the most interesting character in the entire series.

In the first half of SaB he was depicted as every soldier's dream general. Sitting and eating with his men, fighting side by side with them, constantly checking on his troops while other generals prefer to attend court. But in the second half, he transforms into a Mustache Twirling Villain TM and makes rather OOC decisions throughout the trilogy. He could have been a generic villain from the start, but why make him then a compelling character with understandable motivations?

In the books, I understood his motivations, but in the show, he was completely right. His backstory shows that he tried peaceful tactics but those never worked out. The only thing that worked against his enemies was power and violence. The price of hesitance was Luda's life (I'm willing to bet they were married). The Fold was actually a mistake born from desperation. He spent centuries in hiding, seeing his people persecuted. Even with the Little Palace and the Second Army Grisha are considered second-class citizens, they can't hold properties. He has to walk the fine line between usefulness and being a threat. He has to bow to incompetent Kings who don't give a shit about the state of the country. If Alina had to go through so much how would she end up? Because it's a miracle that Aleksander still has it in him to fight for the Grisha.

Many bring up Nikolai Lantsov as the Darklings foil ( or Diet Darkling as @ambitious-witch calls him) to show there is an alternative to Aleksander, but it's wrong. Because Nikolai was never part of an oppressed minority group, never had to fear centuries of persecution, he's an actual prince, it's easy to not be radicalized with his background.

Bonus: If Bardugo wanted to create a fictional world with tsarist Russia as a base, the least she could have done is to open a Wikipedia page or a dictionary for the correct names and terms. Starkov is a man's name: Alina Starkova is the correct form. Ilya Morozov, Aleksander Morozov, and Baghra Morozova would be the correct forms.

EDIT: They could have shown the building of the Little Palace and the start of the Second Army. I wanted to see the normal life at the Little Palace before Alina came along, little Grisha enjoying their powers, their reaction if the Darkling comes to see their training (I headcanon he visits the lessons at least once a year), the other teachers, and their reaction to Alina. Alina in canon is good with kids, maybe if she had spent time with little Grisha, she could have embraced her powers sooner. Having met with foreigners (Fjerdan, or Shu) and hearing their gruesome accounts of the foreign treatment of the Grisha would made her willing to fight for their future.

#shadow and bone #sab netflix #sab spoilers #grishaverse #anti leigh bardugo #the darkling #alexander kirigan #aleksander kirigan #aleksander morozova #alexander morozova #alina starkov #shadow and bone cast #shadow and bone netflix #darklina #alina x darkling #malyen oretsev

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lostysworld · 3 years ago

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A healing touch – Kaz Brekker x reader

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 (final)

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Warning: OOC (so much for Kaz),fluff!!!!!!

Summary: Kaz is ready to give a second chance. It leads to finding his true place around you.

A/N: I've done this, guys!! I've done fluff!!! Hope you'll like it :D

Masterlist

For the whole next week you are helping your parents, who are trying to plan you soon-to-be birthday. No need to mention, you don't want to celebrate, when your head is busy with what happened between you and Kaz.

You love him, really love. And you aren't even angry at him, because everyone makes mistakes. But sitting like this, doing nothing and waiting for Saints know what is slowly killing you.

You met with Inej and Nina for several times to discuss it, but they couldn't advise nothing, but to wait.

Your mother, in her turn, decides to invite all your friends. Means, all the Crows will be at one place at the same time, and it's definitely going to be fun. Maybe you just need a little bit of distraction.

Your birthday is your father's day off, so your house is soaked with pastry smell from base to the roof from the very morning.

Since your dad is preparing everything at home, it is your turn to help your mother at her work. It is where Kaz's messenger finds you.

A small note shakes in your hands slightly, as you can't stop it.

"If you didn't change your mind, come"

You chuckle. In the end of the note you see a small ink scratch of a crow foot. Kaz always signs notes for you that way.

– Are you planning on standing like that and keeping him waiting?

Your mother's voice rings from your back.

– How do you-

– You have this face again, - she smiles shortly at you and nods towards the door. – Go, girl. I can manage this place by myself.

The wooden door squeaks and you come inside the office. Kaz is sitting behind his table as usual, but he instantly stands up, when you appear at his doorway.

– Hey, - your awkward smile lightens up his worried face a bit. – Something important for me?

You don't know why he called you here, but don't want to have a false hope.

– Yes...it is important, - the man comes up to a drawer and takes out a silver bracelet, the one that matches your pendant. – Happy birthday, Y/N.

He extends his arm to you for taking it, but you only come up to him and cover his gloved hand with yours.

– I will never change my mind, Kaz. Not for you.

Brekker sighs heavily and raises his glance on you, making you shiver. You have never had a thought of how it could be hard not to see him for a week.

– You will be in danger every single minute of your life, - his firm tone makes you nod. – And we will both live under constant pressure.

– Fine.

– Not to mention, that I can never give you a full life, and-, - you make him stop with your hand on his, giving the man a slight squeeze.

– What do you think full life is, Brekker?

He shakes his head, aware of the fact, that you will never agree with him on this point. A faint smile of yours reassures him a bit, and when you start speaking, he relaxes.

– Having you by my side, Kaz, is pretty enough for me. Frankly, - you slowly take off his gloves, one by one, laying them on the table. – It is the only thing I can dream of.

You are so close now, and want to kiss him so badly. Brekker's gaze drops to your lips and you understand his intention quite clearly.

With a shaking breath he moves to you, and you can only imagine how hard it is for the man. Yes, he advanced greatly with this, you can now even allow yourself an accidental brush across his hand, but a kiss is another thing.

– You don't have, if you don't want to, Kaz. I can wait.

He shakes his head reluctantly, and lays his bare hand on your shoulder.

– The problem is that I don't want you to wait, Y/N.

With that he slowly shortens the gap and brushes his lips across yours. It is merely a kiss, but it feels like heavens for you, as it is literally your biggest dream, that, you think, was impossible.

The grip on you shoulder tightens, and you can barely hold back a smile. It is a big move for Kaz and you as well, so you can't be nothing but proud of him. Even if he is a bit nervous.

Then he breaks the kiss after a dozen of seconds and touches your forehead with his, staying like this for some time.

– It is not stolen.

– What? - you leans back to meet his gaze. The man nods towards the bracelet on the table he gave you.

– The bracelet is not stolen. I bought him in-

You shut him up with another careful kiss, this time more passionate, not afraid for his reaction. You can swear, Brekker grins tensely in the kiss, as you can feel it with your skin.

Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, bought a birthday present for you, matching with his previous gift. What else could you dream about, really?

– I turned out, - Kaz tries to calm his breath. – Liking you a lot more that I originally planned.

– Is it anything, that you don't plan?

– You, kissing me for the second time. It wasn't planned.

You chuckle and instantly find his other hand to hold, but he halts. Seems, it's too much for him in one moment. Brekker gives you an apologetic smirk.

– You are doing great, - you smile to him, trying to reassure.

– I still need time to work it through.

– You are not alone, Kaz, - he keeps staring at you in a kind of awe. – We will work it through. I will help you.

Brekker grins at you and reaches for the bracelet on the table to lock on your wrist.

– Will you come to the dinner?

You suddenly remember about today's birthday party. Now, when everything is settled down between you two, you can think about planning again.

– I'm not sure-

– Everyone will be there, Kaz. And you know my mother will be happy to see you.

Brekker hesitates. Though you don't want to force him and rush the moment. But it would be lovely to see him along with your friends and family.

– You know, I don't suit family dinners, Y/N.

His half broken voice makes your heart ache for him. Why he can't understand this? He is worth everything. You know his fear of not being able to give you full live pretty well. Because partly it is your fear too. That your efforts will be not enough for both of you.

Not to worry Kaz even more, you lay your hand on his elbow.

– I will be waiting for you today's evening, love. But it all is up to you.

You turn to leave, not noticing him freeze from the nickname you give him. He surely doesn't let it just pass by. And when the door closes, he still stands in the middle of his office, trying to collect himself after your visit.

The noise in your house is pleasant with everyone chatting and telling stories. You look them over and smile. Every Crow finds its place here.

Nina is busy with your mother at the kitchen, dragging Matthias with her. Jasper is telling your father about shooting and Inej only smiles shyly, when your mum tells her to make herself comfortable.

Everyone is on the place. Everyone except Kaz. He still doesn't show up, and your hope is slowly getting lost in a cword laughing.

You know it is not his intention to upset you, Brekker just doesn't like big companies and can't find a proper place for himself.

And when the sudden knock on the door rings, you instantly rush to open it. The wide smile appears on your lips as you see Kaz, who's grinning shyly at you.

– You came! - you want to hug him, but refuse just in time.

– Happy birthday again.

You smirk and nod towards the room.

– Won't you come in? - that hope in your glance is so visible, that you don't even need to beg the man. – The party isn't complete without you, Kaz.

He chuckles, coming closer to you, but shakes his head reluctantly.

– It's too crowded for me.

– It's not a crowd, Brekker. They are your friends too, - seeing that you almost win, you continue to force him. – Come on, Kaz, join us. My mother adores you.

– Yes, that's exactly what I'm afraid of, - he surely notices another woman's steps towards the door, and steps back to hide in the shadows, but your mum is not that naive.

– No, no, Mr. Brekker. You will not fool me like this, - you put your lips in a thin line to hold back a laughter. This woman knows how to get under someone's skin. – We saved a seat for you. So, hurry up.

With that she comes back to the kitchen.

– You heard her, Kaz. You have no choice now.

The man walks out of the darkness with that one-sided grin, the one you love the most. He comes in to let you close the door.

Everything goes well, you mother is hovering around Kaz like a mother hen, that makes you smile even more than before. It isn't really a birthday party, but a family dinner just with more members.

– So, you, Mr. Brekker, are up to illegal things here in Ketterdam, am I right?

The sudden question from your father makes everyone shut up, even Jasper. Little do they know, he isn't a strict man. He asks it just out of interest, and they shouldn't be nervous like this.

Kaz tenses and you don't get to somehow show him, that it's alright, when your mother comes back from the kitchen with her famous apple pie.

– Do not scare our guests, Y/F/N. Let them enjoy the dinner.

You suppress a smile to your mum, who stands next to Brekker, knowing this question is for him. Seems, she likes him most of all and even ready to protect from your father's curiosity.

Your father starts cutting the pie.

– I don't care what he is doing, until he's a gentleman. Manners make the man.

Kaz casts a glance to you across the table, and you just nod to show, everything is okay. He's a perfect gentleman, it's for you to know for sure.

When the dinner is over and the Crows go to the Slat, Kaz stays for a little, letting them to leave you two alone.

It's long past midnight, when you walk him to the entrance door.

– Thank you, Kaz, - he comes out and turns to you. – Your presence means a lot to me. And your gift too. Thank you.

He nods, but isn't going to leave. You close the door behind you and take his gloved hand to lead him to the nearest bench. The day was amazing, and you are not ready to let him go yet.

The skies are glowing with millions of stars tonight, and your glance is stick to it. You don't notice how Kaz is looking at you.

– Thank you for the invitation then. I have never had a family like yours to be around.

Your eyes meet his and these sad sparkles in his voice makes you thinking of something.

– Well, you have now. A very big one, actually.

Kaz glances at you, making goosebumps run down your forearms. How can a single glance give you such reaction?

You know, that he's hard to persuade, but you really want him to know, that he has a safe place to go to.

Brekker doesn't respond and when he switches his gaze above his head to look at the starts, you notice his eyes are a bit watered.

You think about how much he suffered, and how you can help him to make peace with his past from now. You, your friends and your family will be always here for the man.

The sudden thought of his last improvement comes to your mind.

– Kaz, - you call his name, but he doesn't move. – Your brother would be so proud of you.

He immediately turns to your, eyes are searching for something on your face. But you are serious as never before. Brekker's trauma is a constant reminder of Jordie, but he can't remember his family like that. There should be something good in it.

His glance slips to your lips, and for a couple of moments he can't take his eyes off. He takes one shaking breath, overwhelmed by unspoken words and emotions.

– May I.

You know that this day is the hardest for the man, and you're pretty aware of his boundaries, but just can't let yourself stop him.

You nod and he takes one of his gloves off, slowly caressing your cheek. When he is about to lean forward, you stop him in an inch from his lips with a whisper.

– You are the strongest person I know, Kaz Brekker.

Your heart sinks down, when his lips finally touch yours in a slow tender kiss.

You want to embrace the man, but try to keep your hands out with all your strength. With every second passing, you feel Kaz relaxes, and it brings smile to your lips.

He brakes the kiss and furrows.

– What? - Brekker's face almost makes you grin more. You shake your head.

– Nothing. Just love you.

Actually you can do it all night long, telling him the truth and watching him falling in a sort of shock. And his reaction only encourage you to go on every time.

The man shakes his head in disbelief and gives up a smile, the kind you didn't see before.

– It's...I'm a fool, when it comes to revealing feelings, Y/N, - you shake his world completely, but Kaz starts getting used to it. – But I want to tell so much.

– I will not force you into anything against your will.

He shakes his head and moves closer. You are so warm and radiant, he just can't stay cold and collected with you around, doesn't want to anymore. Of course, for everyone else he is still the same Kaz Brekker, but not for you.

– I just want you to be patient at this point, Y/N.

– I've been knowing you, Kaz, for two years, - your light chuckle touches his heart. – Patience and I are long friends.

– So? - he raises his brow to you.

– So, I can live with that, Kaz Brekker. For as long as you will have me.

This smile of his can melt you to the ground and you smile to him back, turning your gaze to the skies again.

After a second you feel his gloved hand covers your fingers, and grin.

This day is your pure bliss, and you two will endure everything else together.

So, this is the end of it! Thank all of you for likes and comments, I hope you really enjoy it ❤

Actually, I have an idea of writing The darkling x reader imagine. Maybe, you'll be interested :D

#shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x you #kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x you #six of crows x you #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows

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9tzuyu · 4 years ago

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children of tragedy (rewrite)

note: heyo, rewriting an old fic of mine. i hope to be able to rewrite all 5 chapters quickly. if you guys don’t like it, i won’t continue because its kinda dark and idk i feel like no ones gonna like it anyways. please leave feedback though, im on my knees begging for validation. also sorry if its ooc, please forgive me.

++ sorry the beginning reveals how rusty my writing is </3

(*** i wrote this as as a fem reader fic because it worked easier with how i wrote things.)

+ please remember that this is purely a way to get out my own feelings/struggles in a healthy way. also i’m sure this works better as a ship fic, but someone asked for this version so yeah :).

** mistakes are mine im too tired and lazy to proofread right now.

warnings: talk of alcohol abuse, slight mention of domestic abuse.

🏷 @peggycarter-steverogers

ch.2 | ch.3

[love, fragility, and the memories that eat us alive.]

meeting wanda changed everything for you. she wasn't like anyone you’d ever known. she was always kind, never quick to lose her temper or scream and yell at you for things you couldn't possibly control. she was warm, tender with everything she did.

your relationship with her was very new to you. it was much different in comparison to your past experiences — and you weren't quite sure what to think of it. there was no doubt that you appreciated her and everything she did for you, but you were still waiting for her to snap. it was almost like a need burning throughout your body. being able to grasp the idea that someone could ever really, truly be gentle with you was out of the question. in turn, you’d push all of her buttons, hoping that she would get mad enough and get it over with.

no one could really fault you for it. the steady stream of abuse was the nearly the entirety of your life, both physical and mental.

lately wanda was having to pick you up from wherever she could find you, most of the time in the alleyways of of bars you’d been kicked from.

once you were drunk enough (anyone really) you weren’t afraid to say the first thing that came to your mind, offensive or not – which meant it was no surprise when you’d been involved in fights. the alcohol numbed a majority of the pain anyway, so didn’t really make much of a difference to you.

with this happening so many times, you figured wanda would be angry with you – perhaps so angry she would find it within her to hit you. but each and every time wanda brought you home, she made sure you were comfortable before tending to your inuries.

what you didn't know was that being so worried for you all the time, every second of everyday, was beginning to take a toll on her. wanda only wanted to fix you, but you were making it more than difficult for her to do that.

she knew very little about your past, simply because you didn't like talking about it and she didn't want to push. but there was no denying the fact that wanda was curious.

sometimes she would ask questions, only between the soft moments the both of you shared. much to her dismay, most of her curiosities were turned down. on the rare occasions you shared brighter memories of your childhood, wanda would bookmark them in the back of her head.

no harm would ever come from her, but you didn’t know that. at least not right now.

too many times had your exes used the trust you’d so politely given against you. to be fair with wanda though, you shared only the brightest parts of your childhood. they were very seldom, but the ones you could remember were the ones you enjoyed talking about the most.

despite her limited knowledge, it wasn’t hard for her to tell that you’d already been hurt plenty of times before. apart from the fact that wanda was overall truly a good person, it made her even more gentle with you than she’d ever been with anyone before.

on top of that, wanda wasn’t stupid. she picked up on every little flinch you tried to hide, or the times you had to ask her if it was okay if you could do something on your own free will, and she definitely didn’t forget about the countless times you berated yourself over small, humanly mistakes. a frown never failed to decorate her face when these things happened.

wanda tried her hardest to make it known how much she loved you, and how she would never intentionally hurt you. she never once lifted a hand on you or raised her voice in the slightest, even when she felt like she’d met a breaking point.

the last few weeks seemed to be putting more stress on her than usual. the gashes on your body seemed to be cutting deeper and the bruises on your jaw and rib cage were beginning to turn a darker shade of indigo as each fight became more aggressive. your knuckles had been swollen, irritated to the point your hands trembled when your palms were held open.

you completely missed how drastically wanda’s mood had changed. she became quiet, seemingly lost in thought most of the time until she needed to take care of you. she grew tired, a purple tint claiming a spot below the lip of her eyes. fifteen pounds of weight had shredded from her body and her head grew dizzy every time she stood up. none of that mattered to wanda though, you were her number one priority.

alcohol was the biggest issue in the way. if wanda could get you to stop drinking for just one night she might be able to reason with you.

the brunette knew that was out of the question though, because she knew no matter how many times she told or expressed her love for you, you wouldn’t stop until you wanted to, not when she wanted you to.

you never allowed yourself to be vulnerable around her, so she never knew how you truly felt about the things going wrong in your life. there was an unbearable amount of pain when it came to confronting what you tried so hard to push away. the idea of allowing yourself to heal, to mourn the things taken away from you caused a lump in the back of your throat. living in denial was the easiest way to cope - that was as long as you could bear the damage it created.

(and whether wanda knew it or not, knowing that you were causing her so much misery was the worst feeling you’d ever faced. all she had ever given you was love and in return she was met with destruction.)

so once again you found yourself walking alone, a slight stagger between steps. it was cold, each breath exhaled from your lips could be seen vaporizing into the air. every movement ripped what balance you thought you’d gained right out from underneath you. the feeling of numbness in your fingertips brought your attention away from the fact that you didn’t know where you were.

the buildings all looked familiar, but everything was hazy. being drunk wasn’t always the fun everyone bragged about. too tired to carry on, you found yourself slumped in the back of an alleyway next to a dirty garbage bin. it reeked of sour, expired food, but you’d given up on caring about anything else other than trying to drink yourself numb.

your mind began to wander. flashes of early mornings with wanda’s hands wrapped around your waist, breath tickling the back of your neck while the sun began to rise started filling your thoughts. the warm feeling wanda gave you outweighed every bad emotion you could possibly think of.

but as you stared at the ground beneath your feet things began to spiral. your throat contracted, the guilt you tried so hard to swallow began clawing its way out of your body.

(and holy fuck you could not deal with this right now.)

you curled your head between your legs in an attempt to shield yourself away from something that was born from the inside.

it was too much.

without a chance to stop what was happening, your stomach began heaving. a mix of bile and alcohol drooled from your mouth as you continued to vomit.

you missed the sound of footsteps coming from behind you. the feeling of a hand on your shoulder caused you to jerk back, slamming your back into the brick wall.

“hey, hey, it’s me. you’re okay. it’s just me, wanda.” she cooed.

through teary eyes, you looked up at the woman in front of you.

she’s your girlfriend.

(but you weren’t sure that you deserved to call her that after everything you’ve put her through.)

“what are you doing here?” your voice wavered as you wiped your mouth free of excess vomit. you sniffled backing away from her.

she tilted her head, desperate to read what your eyes would give away. “i’m here to bring you back home. can you stand up for me?” you shook your head. you were too exhausted and dizzy from the alcohol to even think about standing.

“that’s okay,” she whispered. “here, i’m going to pick you up, okay? wrap your arms around my neck and your legs around my hips.”

“mkay.” your speech was still slurred, but at that point all wanda cared about was getting you home safe.

you didn’t remember the ride home or wanda carrying you out of the car to lay you on the couch. by the time she got the supplies she needed to wrap and tend to your wounds, you were completely passed out.

when you woke up you were greeted with a glass of water and an over the counter pain medication. you swallowed the pills and moved to set the glass on the coffee table, but wanda beat you to it and took it out of your hands. she smiled down at you, taking a seat next to you. she tucked your hair behind your ears, giving your face one last gentle stroke.

thats when you noticed her eyes were red.

you immediately sat up, crossing your legs and moved closer to her. you’d hoped to comfort her somehow, but the shake of her head broke sonething inside you.

you bit your lip, anxiety shooting throughout your body. she sensed your nervousness and took your hands in hers, rubbing circles on the outside of your wrist with her thumbs.

“i love you, you know that. at least i hope you do,” she let out a soft laugh. “but i can’t keep doing this.”

your heart dropped, and you could feel the all too familiar feeling of guilt building its way back up. you tried to speak, but wanda cut you off.

“i need you to hear this.”

when you didn’t respond she took the opportunity to continue saying what she needed to get out.

“i have exhausted myself to a breaking point. i can’t keep worrying about you every single night you’re gone. i can’t be there every time you need saving. i’m losing myself.”

she paused to check and see how you were handling her words. for once you weren’t shutting down. you were genuinely trying to process what she was trying to say.

(and she was so proud of you for that. she almost considered giving you another chance. but she knew for the better, she couldn’t do that. not to you, not to her.)

“i’ve packed your things. you can leave tomorrow morning if you wish, i don’t mind having you for another meal or two.”

she squeezed your hands and got up from the couch, allowing you to take in what she said. it was in that moment when you realized that even when she’d finally drawn the line, had enough, she didn’t yell at you. she wasn’t angry, she was just sad.

you were chasing after something that wasn’t there, and it never would be there.

and now you were able to register just how much you’d fucked up the one good thing in your life.

#wanda maximoff x reader #scarlet witch x reader #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #avengers imagine #avengers fanfiction

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sup-hoes-its-me · 4 years ago

Text

Wish You Were Here (Bakugo x Reader)

A/N: Bakugo x reader, extreme angsty vibes throughout. Pretty OOC i think. Had “Wish you were here” by neck deep in my mind while i wrote this. I cried, folks. Enjoy. (I headcanon that both Todoroki and Bakugo will do their work studies under Endeavour, btw)

word count: 6016

You could call them friends from the beginning, maybe a bit of anger and resentment bubbled up along the way, but how could it not with someone like Bakugo Katsuki in the mix. She never gave up on him though, knowing he would learn and grow into a better person one day. She waited patiently for the catalyst that would humble the boy, just enjoying the time she had with him each day at a time.

Whether he would admit it or not, he liked her company too. Through all the complaints and angry outbursts, he was always a bit scared that she would be pushed away. Yet time and time again, she forgave him. A few times, people had said to his face that he would never deserve Y/N’s friendship. She was so much better than him, he already knew that. And yeah, maybe he didn’t deserve her. She could be hanging out with someone like Midoriya and be happier than his bitter ass..

As he sat beside her in class, waiting for Aizawa to arrive, he couldn’t help but lose himself in thought.

“Katsuki-kun? You okay?” a soft voice asked. His eyes snapped to the side to see the girl forever on his mind, tapping the pages of their textbook with the end of her pen. Her eyes held curiosity more than any concern. Finding out what Bakugo was thinking about deep in the of his mind was always interesting.

He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yeah, I’m fine. You need something?”

“Not really, just wanted to see something other than a frown on your face, “ she chirped happily, making his cheeks turn a bit red from embarrassment. She always said things like that, all the while with her beautiful lips curled into a sweet smile and eyes half shut.

He had to admit, she was cute. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Whatever you want to call it. These feelings were...disgusting, he thought.

“Shut up, Y/N.”

“What?! I’m just saying you look ten times better when you’re smiling than scowling at the table like that.” she laughed, turning in her seat so her legs hung to the side and she faced him. Jokingly, she tapped her pen against his cheek and he sunk into his chair even more, trying to hide the mixture of embarrassment and excitement invading his expression.

“Y/N-chan, quit it. You’re getting on my nerves now.”

She sighed, leaning back into her personal bubble. “Next week we start our Hero Work-Studies! Aren’t you excited?”

He was actually very excited, even if he failed to express it. He was going to train under endeavour, someone who the public admired for his strength and resilience. Bakugo knew he wasn’t the nicest man-Todoroki had enough evidence to show for that...But that didn’t mean he would pass up the opportunity to learn his heroic ways.

“Yeah, who wouldn’t be?”

“I cannot believe Hawks agreed to work with me! Seriously! He’s one of the coolest out there, not to mention he’s so young and relatable to us. I’ve been jealous since Tokoyami-kun started to work with him. Like come on, I’m just as much bird as them.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised agencies waited this long to pick you. You didn’t do too bad at the Sports Festival last year.”

“It’s only because they were waiting to see me completely annihilate the competition this year. They couldn’t see my true potential then, but now everyone will know me!”

His lips lifted into just a sliver of a grin. She was kinda amazing when she got excited and confident. “No one can hold you back, Y/N-chan.”

“When we graduate, we will both be so strong we will have the best hero agencies.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Y/N reached across to his desk once again, grabbing his hands tightly in hers. His eyes slid around the room quickly to see Kirishima and Denki wiggling his eyebrows in his direction. Stupid idiots. For some reason, the redhead had been trying to force them together in a romantic way for the past two years, and others slowly got in on the drama as well. Bakugo cursed at him in his head, glaring intensely for a short moment before turning back to the girl.

“I can’t help but be excited, Katsuki-kun. Being pro heroes has been our dream for as long as I can remember and now it’s finally happening.”

“Well, keep training hard and maybe you’ll get there one day. After all, the number 2 hero has already employed you-everything is gonna be easy after this.” He brushed off her hands and stood from his desk. “Gotta go to the bathroom.”

He didn’t actually have to go, he just wanted to escape that situation. He liked her a lot, and loved talking to her. It was so weird to him, how happy it made him to see her smile, laugh, and succeed at what she wanted. They were living out their dreams together, and it actually made him happy.

The only thing is, sometimes, it got to be too much. Just how much emotion she made him feel. He was frustrated at times, and he didn’t know why. All he knew was that he wanted to be around her all the time. He always wanted her to be by his side. She made life easier for him. He could control his temper, but only around her.

He sighed, slouching against the wall outside the classroom. Aizawa still wasn’t there, so he had some time to relax. Only, he couldn’t because Kirishima waltzed out just to stand right next to him.

“What do you want, hedgehog hair?”

“When you gonna ask out L/N, huh?” he asked abruptly. “I see the way you two make oogly eyes at each other all day and you being a chicken is so frustrating, bro.”

“That’s none of your business, but to answer your question: never. She’s my friend.”

“Come on, I’m just trying to help you out, dude. Seriously, make a move.”

“Definitely not.”

“Bruh…”

“Listen, maybe I do like her, okay? But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to date her. Relationships just seem so irritating.”

Kirishima laughed, throwing his arm around the hothead’s shoulders. “Trust me, when you kiss her for the first time, you’ll regret not asking her out before.” Bakugo threw his arm off his shoulder and scowled, disgusted by his bluntness. Sure, he had thought about kissing Y/N before, but he never really wanted to act on it that strongly. He especially did not like talking about his feelings.

He walked back into the classroom, redhead close behind. Now, he would act like nothing was even discussed. He didn’t need this drama right now. He just wanted to keep Y/N happy, and she was more than happy to be his best friend.

Trying to be anything more with her would be a mistake.

______________________________

“We’re not supposed to be out this late, Y/N. Do you want to tarnish your perfect record?” the boy asked as she pulled him up the flights of stairs, their feet slapping against the concrete as they ran. She held his warm hand in her smaller, cold one. It was late when she texted him to meet her at the front door, about 2 in the morning. She was lucky he wasn’t sleeping, but she knew he stayed up most nights on his computer anyway.

She took him to the training grounds and pulled him into the biggest building there. His stomach churned with excitement. He loved to be alone with her, especially at night when her quirk was at full power. Her soft wings, although tucked tight against her back, brushed against him and it sent shivers down his spine. So soft.

When they reached the roof, she pushed open the heavy, creaky metal doors. The moon shone so brightly in the sky right above them, illuminating her face in white light. He stared at her as she walked to the bench at the edge of the roof. She was more beautiful than anything he had ever seen before. Her wings expanded as she walked, the moon making them shimmer and glow like silver.

He took a seat beside her on the bench and followed her eyes which stared deep into the night sky, all the stars and the moon. “Don’t you love it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, to be honest. Just the mood of a winter moon.”

He rolled his eyes. Sometimes she didn’t make sense to him, but that was okay. “Not really.”

“I guess everyone feels differently about things.”

He sighed, leaning back with his arms behind his head and stretched, only to drop them weakly back to his sides. She was so in touch with things he’d never even thought about. She could see the bright side of everything, obviously since she saw the good in someone like him. “I don’t get you sometimes, Y/N. You seem to know everything about me, and you get how I feel, but I have a hard time wrapping my mind around yours.”

She laughed, warm breath clouding in front of her lips. “I can understand your anger, because people genuinely are annoying a lot of the time. But you can’t understand how it feels to be content with what you have. You always want something better, to be stronger or braver than the rest. You can’t comprehend what it’s like to be happy with the best you can do.” Her hand stretched across the bench they sat on, and her fingertips grazed his. Slowly, she slipped her hand under his, relishing in the warmth for as long as he would allow.

His fingers hesitantly wrapped around her hand, holding tightly as if she would take it away from him. Her hands were always so cold, he remarked, feeling a shiver run down his spine at the feeling.

“I’ll never be good enough, Y/N. I can’t settle as third best to Deku, or even Todoroki. It just pisses me off that they are better than me.”

“Maybe you aren’t as strong as them right now, and maybe you will never be,” she hummed, feeling his intense glare shift in her direction. Her lips curled into a smile despite this. “But to me, you’ll never be second best. You’re my number one hero, forever and always.”

His heart skipped a beat at her words.

“I’ve known you for so long, and having seen how you are when you’re vulnerable shows me that you are good. You are a hero no matter what people think. There’s no need to take it out on your classmates because they could never compare in my eyes. You are you, and they are themselves. Everyone can have a piece of the glory in the end, even someone as weak as me.”

“You’re not weak, you know.”

With a shrug, she let out a long sigh, “Not really, but thanks.”

“How can you not see how strong you are? You’re on your way to being the sidekick for Hawks. If anything, you’re better than me. You think so highly of me but shit on yourself.”

“I’m not shitting on myself at all. I’m being realistic. I’m okay with being a background character, Katsuki-kun.”

“Whatever. Just know you aren’t a background character to me. Everyone else, fuck them. Just you and me matter.”

Silence overtook the bitter cold air, only gusts of wind to be heard. She let her head fall to the side, temple pressed gently to his shoulder. He was tense beneath her, but that was expected. He wasn’t cuddly by any means; he didn’t even like hugs...But, she felt safe pressed to his side, hand in hand.

“Do you think we’ll be friends forever?” she asked suddenly.

He glared at her once again, not knowing why she asked such a stupid question. “What do you think?”

“I promise, no matter what, I’ll never leave you. I won’t give up on you.” The confession only made him feel hot. His hands clammed up with sweat, and he worried she would pull her hand away. She didn’t. “Sure, I get along with other people just fine, but if I’m being honest, all I’ll ever need is you.”

“Y/N-”

The girl didn’t stop to let him speak, the words flowing from her mouth without hesitation. There were so many things she had to say, thousands of words she could use to tell him how much she felt for him. “I think we were meant to meet each other. You and I have something special. It was fate that we ended up here.”

“Come on, that’s kinda crazy, don’t you think?” he argued, trying to make this less awkward. He could feel his heart racing, sweat pooling up, and his cheeks turning a deep shade of red. He liked what she was saying, but it was too much for him. He wasn’t into pouring out his feelings like she was. He was confused, honestly, how to express himself without sounding lame.

“I should have probably told you this a long time ago, but I guess now is just as good as any.” Deep breath in, shallow breath out. “I love you. I think I’ve always loved you, but now I know for sure.”

He couldn’t say anything. He could feel her hurt, the pain of rejection radiating off. No words would come out of his mouth, nothing but hot air. How was he supposed to reply? He felt shocked and embarrassed.

Her hand slid out from his grasp and she stood from her spot on the bench, her vibrant wings wrapping protectively around her torso. Her eyes were filled with regret and shame, but the smile never faltered. She never stopped smiling, even in moments like this. He wanted to tell her it was okay to be upset, that he didn’t mind comforting her. It just wasn’t the right time, he convinced himself. She would walk away and he would be alone in this cold..

“I’m sorry. Let’s just forget about this.”

He nodded, not daring to meet her eyes. He couldn’t stand seeing the hurt he caused her. And she walked away.

Maybe he did love her all along. She was the one good thing in his whole life, and maybe he threw that away by not saying anything. He could feel his stomach knotting up and his chest burned with every breath he took. Is this what it felt like to be heartbroken, completely hopeless to the whims of love so deep?

He pressed his face into his rough hands, groaning into them angrily. Why did he do this to himself? Why couldn’t he just be happy for once in his life? Why couldn’t he let something good slip its way into his life. He hated himself for everything. For being stubborn and rude all the time. For hurting the feelings of the only person who really cared about him. For throwing away what they could have had. He was just so fucking scared of these unfamilar emotions, it overwhelmed him.

So he got up, and he ran. He rushed down the metal staircase with such urgency that he almost fell face first down a couple flights. He couldn’t hear her footsteps in the metal stairwell, and it only made him hurry faster.

But she was gone. He missed his chance.

_____________________________________

“Why aren’t you dancing with Y/N?” Kirishima asked, deciding to take a break from dancing with Ashido and other friends to visit the awkward and angry blond pressed against the wall. For some reason, all the third years were practically forced to come to a dance to celebrate the holidays. To Bakugo, well, he thought it was a load of bullshit.

He glared over at his classmate. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just I thought you would come to this thing together. You’re really close.”

“Shit happens.”

Kirishima bit his lip, knowing it wasn’t just that. Something happened between the pair. It was their business only, and he wouldn’t pry (no matter how badly he wanted in on the drama). He couldn’t help but say something after seeing Bakugo standing by the punch bowl for nearly an hour and Y/N playing on her phone at one of the tables instead of having fun. It just didn’t seem right to let them ruin their night.

“Well, you have to fix that shit, bro.”

It was quiet for a second, and the redhead worried he may have struck a nerve somehow.

The blond turned his eyes away from his friend to glance at the girl, who was hunched over a table with her nose in her phone. Earlier, he swore people were sitting with her; they must have left to actually enjoy the dance. Honestly, he felt a bit angry at the others for just leaving her like that, not that he was any better. For a week now, he hadn’t even looked her in the eye.

“You think I should go talk to her?”

“Yeah, probably.”

He didn’t bother saying goodbye, just mumbled a reluctant ‘thanks’ as he shuffled through the dozens of students herded in the center of the gymnasium. Not until he was a few feet in front her table did she notice him staring her down. A small smile perked at the corner of her soft lips, but they both knew it was fake as hell.

“Aren’t you gonna go and have fun or some shit?”

She shrugged, not knowing what to say, “I’m not really feeling the vibe, I guess.” If she were being honest, she just wanted to stay home curled up in her warm bed in the dark. Her chest ached seeing him and hearing his voice. They were friends after all; she really shouldn’t feel like this. It was her fault for confessing her feelings to someone so stubborn and distant.

He shuffled nervously, his hands now tucked deep in his pants pockets. His cheeks threatened to betray him once again and stain red, but thankfully it was too dark for anyone to notice. When did he get all shy like this? It was honestly pathetic. This was 100 percent Deku behavior, and he did not approve.

“You wanna ditch this loser-fest with me?”

Should she? Her heart was still healing, but the temptation was too strong. Damn, even after only a week, she missed him so much. With a soft nod, she stood up from the creaky metal chair. The sidedoor thankfully wasn’t guarded by teachers keeping them from leaving so they snuck outside quietly. Immediately, both of them felt relieved to be away from the energy in there. Sweaty teenagers dancing, loud, shitty music blasting, and annoying flashing lights left behind them.

“Where do you want to go? It’s your choice.”

“Let’s just go to our normal place.”

The walk was silent once again as they made their way to the tall building where everything went down just a week ago. It was still cold, and when they got to the rooftop, the cold wind stung against her exposed skin. Her wings were quick to encase her in their warmth.

She brushed off the bench and took a seat on the far right side. He slouched onto the left side, keeping his head hung as to avoid her gaze. He was still so afraid, no matter what happened. She was clearly upset with him, and it filled him with so much guilt and regret. For a moment, he dared to look at her. Her eyes were trained on the sky, staring off into the stars and moon like always.

“You know, it’s been a little hard to smile lately.” Her words crashed into him.

“I…” Bakugo started but couldn’t think of the right words. “Yeah, I know.”

“I really thought you felt the same way. Maybe that just sounds naive of me, but what you and I had was special. Everyone said so, and I just got a little too confident, I guess,” she confessed with a soft, empty laugh. “My mom kept telling me that you would ask me out, and that we would grow up to be super strong heroes together. She always said, ever since middle school that we were gonna get married. It’s so, so stupid, I know.”

“Y/N, I’m just a fucking coward. That’s the whole reason we are in this mess.”

He met her eyes, ones filled with surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, that everything you said was right. That we are meant to be together or whatever sappy stuff you said. I’ve been so depressed since that night, and I’m so mad at myself for acting so stupid,” he muttered angrily, fists clenching over and over in his lap. “I think I do love you. I’m not sure how it’s supposed to feel but I just want to be with you. I don’t want you ever leaving my side.”

“You’re not just saying that to be nice?”

“When have I ever been nice?”

She laughed, scooting over to sit right beside him. He could feel the heat radiating off her skin, and it made him feel more comfortable then he’d felt in a while. Looking down at her, his eyes trailed onto her lips which were just barely agape. They looked sweet, so soft and plump and beautiful.

When she noticed him staring, she knew what he was thinking. Without warning, Y/N tilted her head up to press her lips softly against his. Her hands rose to rest on both sides of his face gently, just enough to pull him in even closer. Her lips moved so slowly against his lips; it was agonizing. He wanted more and more, to pull her close to his lips and devour her. It was only one kiss, but he knew he was addicted already.

His first kiss. Kirishima was right. How did he go so long without her lips on his?

She pulled away just enough to so she could speak, noses touching and foreheads pressed together. “I love you, Katsuki.”

“I think I might love you more.”

_____________________________________

“Something happened to Hawks. We have to go now.”

At first, Bakugo didn’t even connect Hawks to his girlfriend, who was working under his guidance the past year. As they rushed into the district under attack, the adrenaline of the fight made him feel high. He loved this. Being a real hero, saving people and having people look to him as if he were amazing. His quirk was quite flashy and people enjoyed seeing him work.

The street was in complete and utter disarray. People were hiding in what buildings they could, quivering from the rogue villain storming through the streets. Hawks couldn’t keep up. No matter how great he was, it could be hard and nearly impossible to battle in close combat. His wings ran thin as well.

So it was time for backup.

Todoroki ran a few yards ahead of him, eyes focused and calm. He was different from the rest of them. He was almost noble. His morals were strict, and he never seemed to lose his cool. As much as it pained Bakugo to say it, Todoroki deserved one of the top spots, maybe even higher than him.

It wasn’t until they turned a corner that the mood changed. The icy hot hero faltered, falling back a couple feet to stumble into his teammate.

“What the hell-”

“Bakugo, stop. Don’t go any further.” He held a firm hand to Bakugo’s shoulder, but his attempts were futile. Bakugo wouldn’t let anyone hold him back.

“Idiot, there’s no time to fuck around. Let me through.” As his eyes peered over Todoroki’s shoulder at the street ahead, he caught sight of a featherless wing that had been torn to shreds poking out from the rubble. Silver and grey feathers littered the entire street. His breath hitched in his throat. He didn’t know for sure what it was under those rocks, could just be a bird, right? Just some random fucking bird. That’s all.

It couldn’t be.

“Bakugo-”

The blond pushed past him, stumbling over his own feet as he recklessly ran through the rocks. It only got worse when he saw blood splattered across the pavement. It was getting more and more obvious what had happened here, but he denied it over and over in his head. There was no way it was her. She was strong, her mentor was even stronger, one of the very best. There’s no way he would have let something happen to his prodigy.

But just behind the rocks laid her body. Blood seeped heavily from the back of her head, and her hair was matted with the thick liquid which had dried to a deep brown. Her wings were sparse, if even there, only a dozen or so feathers on each side, blood coating them as well.

“No, no, no.”

He fell to his knees beside her body. Her eyes stared up at him, empty and lifeless; they were so cold like something out of a nightmare. When he reached down to lift her body up from the ground, he shivered at the lack of warmth from her skin. He propped her up on his knees, one arm supporting her back and neck. His other hand slid across her face, smearing blood on her cheek.

“Y/N? You better wake the fuck up,” he whimpered, shaking her body as if that would somehow help. “Wake up, baby, please get up. Stop, god, please stop being stupid”

Todoroki approached him from behind, sitting next to him on the bloody ground. His eyes stared at the cold body, haunted by the face of his friend, someone he grew up beside these 3 years, limp and dead. He looked over to Bakugo, who he knew to be attached at the hip with the girl for who knows long. He had never seen the boy cry, but he sensed the tears starting to boil over.

Hopelessly, he continued to shake her softly. “Y/N-chan, please. Please wake up. God, please wake up. I can’t do this without you. Please, please, please.” His desperate begs fell on deaf ears though. No amount of pleading could change her fate, and both of them knew that.

“Let’s bring her body to the medics, okay? Maybe they can help,” Todoroki soothed, placing a gentle hand on Bakugo’s shoulder. He knew it was useless. She was dead, but the thought of her maybe having a chance made it easier for Bakugo. The blond could only nod, still staring down at his lover through clouded, teary eyes. He lifted her into his arms, cradling her head to his chest.

Bakugo couldn’t stop crying. He just sobbed, continuing to quietly beg the girl to wake up, cursing and choking on his grief.

Todoroki knew they might be scolded later by his father for not helping in the battle, but this was one of the rare cases they could put aside being heroes and let someone else take over. The grief was too heavy of a burden to fight anyway.

She was gone, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

_____________________________________

Bakugo was different after the accident, maybe even worse than before in a way. He didn’t yell at nearly as many people anymore, usually staying silent even if someone offended him. He was fond of walking away now, from anything and everything that pissed him off. It was like he didn’t have the energy to fight back anymore.

It was depressing to those who noticed the little things he often did. Shinsou, who recently joined the hero course, sat in the seat beside Bakugo, where Y/N used to sit. Everytime he thought of something funny to say, a joke to crack about Midoriya or something in their lesson, he looked to the side for Y/N. Every time though, he met with the unamused, dark circles of the boy. His cheeky smile would fall into a deep grimace every time.

He looked for her when he was upset, not knowing how to channel his negative emotions anymore. He yearned to sit in her dorm at night and hug her until he fell asleep. He looked for her in the hallways and every crowd he passed, just praying that miraculously she was alive again, that this was all some sick dream.

It hurt to be reminded time and time again that she was gone. Y/N was never coming back, the words echoed in his mind every day. She was dead, brutally died at the hands of a villain, He could picture her body, disfigured and lying in the street, blood soaking the pavement. He never got to say goodbye either.

Her mentor apologized time and time again to her family and her friends, guilt heavy on his back. He never imagined her, someone so strong and powerful to die, especially under his supervision. Hawks would never take another student as his apprentice, he couldn’t, not for a long time.

Nowadays, the class almost felt like they missed his hotheaded nature. He was just depressing now, and it killed the mood. Y/N was the only one who could make him smile.

He walked down the hall alone, heading back to the dorms once again after a long day of feeling sick to his stomach with a massive headache pulsing in his temples. Footsteps caught up to speed with him, and he peeked over his shoulder to see Midoriya, followed by his precious little girlfriend.

A sour taste filled Bakugo’s mouth. He could tolerate the others. Todoroki, Denki, Kirishima. But he really didn’t want to talk to these two. Anyone but them.

“Bakugo, wait up!” Deku called, not that the blond listened. He kept walking, trying not to explode on the guy. Couldn’t they tell that he just wanted to be alone? “We have to talk to you, just wait and listen.”

“What do you want?”

“Bakugo, are you okay?” Uraraka asked softly, and he grit his teeth.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine,” Deku argued, grabbing Bakugo’s forearm after catching up. Angrily, he yanked his arm away from the boy, and took a few steps away from the pair, glaring at them as if a single look could drive them away. “Listen, we know how you are feeling. We all miss L/N. She was a great friend.”

That was the tipping point for him. How could they compare their pain to his? It pissed him off.

“Oh, fuck you. Fuck you both, really.”

“Stop acting like you’re the only one hurt by this. I grew up with Y/N, too. If you have to mourn, let other people do it with you. It makes it easier.”

“You know as well as I do that you didn’t care about her as much as me. None of you knew her like I did,” he muttered, trying his best not to let the tears fall again, or the stutter in his voice to reveal itself. He wasn’t weak. He was fucking mourning. “Think of it like this, okay? What if someone were to kill Uraraka right now? Imagine having to look into her dead, lifeless eyes. Imagine seeing the entire street splashed with her blood. Imagine reaching down to hug her only to feel icy cold skin against yours, and her face is green and grey like some kind of monster, not your precious Ochako. And there is nothing you can do. Not a damn thing.”

And to that, the pair of do-gooders had nothing to say.

“It’s all I can fucking think about. I can’t even fall asleep without seeing her dead eyes staring back at me. I miss her so much, and none of you can understand.”

“I’m sorry. We know she meant a lot to you.”

“She was all that I had! She was the only person who ever made me really feel something, anything other than anger. I loved her more than anything and she loved me back,” he choked on his words, tears welling up in his eyes. “She was my baby. My beautiful princess. I don’t know how to function without her.”

Uraraka sighed, trying to find something good in all of this despite there being nothing at all. “She’s in a better place, Bakugo.”

He clutched at his shirt right over his heart, which beat rapidly in his chest. “But a better place is right here with me! We belong together, not apart. It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he cried, unable to bite back his tears. “I’ve called her phone a million times since she died, just so I can hear her voice. I’m terrified that one day her phone will be shut off forever and I’ll forget what she sounds like.”

Her clutched at his shirt tightly, feeling pain in his chest again. He felt like he was having a heart attack. Sometimes the heartbreak was so strong.

“All these pictures on my phone of her, they just remind me that she’s never coming back! She’s gone forever, and I don’t know what to do. How do I make it stop hurting so fucking much? I feel like I’m dying, god it hurts.”

Sobs shook his body as he hid his face behind the crook in his elbow, trying to sop up all the tears. But, he knew they wouldn’t stop. He didn’t know why he was telling them this, revealing this side of himself in front of them, but he hadn’t had the time to vent about the whole situation.

“The last thing she said to me was that she loved me,” he cried, pressing his arm to his lips and sobbing into them. He was hysterical, especially for someone so brutal like him. “I’ll never get to tell her I love her ever again. We will never get married. Become pro heroes together like we always wanted. I’ll never get to see her smile or hug her against my chest again. It’s all over, dammit.”

“Bakugo, I’m so sorry. If you need anyone, we’re here for you.”

“I just miss her so fucking much.”

A heavy hand fell on his shoulder, and he turned his head to see who it was. “Bakugo, listen to me for a minute. Wipe up your tears for a second,” the deep, tired voice demanded. Sad, exhausted eyes stared down at him, but he could feel the empathy their teacher held.

“Aizawa-sensei?”

“The only thing that can help you now is time,” he explained. “We risk a lot as pro-heros. It’s gonna hurt a lot for now, maybe forever, I don’t know. But the only thing you can do is let time pass and the pain in your heart will dull.”

“I just feel so pathetic. I can’t help but think it should have been me. I wish it was the other way around so badly. I should have died instead, so she could be happy.”

“Do you really think Y/N would’ve been happy if she lost you? You think she wouldn’t cry everyday, and hug your pillows and clothes just to feel close to you again? For her to suffer? Really? If you really loved Y/N, you wouldn’t consider breaking her heart like that.”

“I-I…” Bakugo choked. “What do I do now?”

“What you need to do is make Y/N proud. She would want the best for you. All she ever wanted was to see you smile after all.” Aizawa was right, no matter how hard it was to accept the fact. Bakugo would have to live for Y/N.

#bakugo katsuki #bakugo #bakugo one shot #bakugo x reader #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia x reader #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia #my hero imagines #bakugo imagine #angst #sad bakugo #ooc

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rochey1010 · 4 years ago

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PART 2: 👋

Lucas: Ok, so Lucas's arc this season is connected to Eliott who has focus, instead of Eliott being connected to Lucas like always. His arc is a relationship one and he's also there as background in the insulated intimidating crew contrasted with the isolated lonely outsider in Lola.

So in S5 Lucas moves in with Eliott and we see them in love and domestic. Lucas has independence and has matured. The show really builds his connection with the group too. He is around a lot and basically boy solidarity to support Arthur's story. 🤘Lots of boy group instas fill Lucas's account. Friendship is just a huge theme this season. Lucas also was part of the girl group and had a special connection with manon in S3, Imane in S4 and was more loyal to the boy group in S5 (more on that later) in S6 he is seen having a special connnection with Daphne.

Lucas makes mistakes in this season 5 which i feel is genuinely consistent with who Lucas is. We saw Lucas in S3. And it was his story and a huge part of this story was his epic love with Eliott so he was loving, soft, vulnerable, hurt, angry over his identity. But generally it was exposed Lucas. In S5 we are in Arthur's narrative. Arthur hasn't been there for Lucas crying, spilling his heart, cuddling and loving Eliott. All the things that would make you see just how soft a person can be. In the boy group is how Arthur sees Lucas. That is stupid, silly, chaotic and affectionate. But they're boys so they're moody and annoying and prank each other and can act like assholes. All things we see. Also Arthur's Jerome is Bas and not Lucas.

Lucas is being set up for S6, so we see the slow creeping abandonment issues come back. We see him saying ignorant and prejudiced things. Again all consistent with the character and his behaviour. Things happen with how Lucas treats people and situations that crop up again in S6, and Lucas shows his moral line too. So first the prejudiced things. This time he acts inconsiderate and ableist to Arthur on Valentines. and Arthur tears him a new one. Lucas looks guilty but also strained (something is going on which comes up big time in S6- home issues) he lashed out and was a hedgehog (prickly and reactive)

He apologises some time later after he calms and thinks about it. We repeat this behaviour in S6 and Lucas dismissing Lola's problems, and Eliott calling him out for his judgement. He's prickly and reactive and then clearly calms down later. All consistent with wanting to protect yourself and your environment. Hedgehogs show their quills to the unknown. Lucas all over. 🦔

Lucas in his new home opens it up to the group. They sleep there, don't leave, have meetings, scream and play video games and Lucas joins in. It's a chaotic loud mess basically. This crops up in S6 when Eliott has a new friend Lola who needs a place to stay after a horrible ordeal and Lucas acts hypocritical and says to Eliott "This is not a hotel" and yeah she slept in their bed because Eliott is decent and respectful and gave her the bed, just like maya did too, because she needed it more. And yes i can see that Lucas felt blindslided but as i said before, the moral line with lucas. It is a pattern with him. If you are close and known it's a free for all. If you are unknown and an intruder have some quills. And i genuinely feel if Eliott copied Lucas and brought home loud friends who wouldn't leave. Lucas would not have that at all = Insider v outsider.

Lucas hides stuff from Arthur because he and the gang don't know how to approach Arthur and be honest with him. They love him but the HOH is a new world for them too, so they mess up a lot. They lie and attend a concert that Arthur sees them at. He calls them out in detention. But generally the mistakes are well meaning. They don't want to hurt his feelings. But they set Lucas up as someone who hides things to try to protect those he cares about. Sound familiar?

The big one the fanbase rioted about: Lucas's advice to Arthur about Alexia. Like i still feel this is consistent with Lucas and again the moral line. The 2 groups have merged but they clearly show the boy group is more tightly knit. So now it becomes about group v group. Arthur is a great friend of Lucas's and Alexia is a friend. Like Lucas isn't close with Alexia. So it becomes about Loyalty. He's already failed Arthur so when he gives the advice to keep the kiss from Alexia i feel it stems from him not wanting Arthur's world to implode and knowing the drama of Alexia finding out could bring to it. Like Arthur even says it to the girls. Don't punish the boys, they were just trying to protect Arthur. So i don't feel that Lucas was OOC because he's generally a dumbass in a group of guys chatting in that dynamic, and doesn't want his friend hurt. His moral line is Arthur is more important. I'm not in agreement with fans saying you learn from your mistakes and that's it. It's not though, your own issues can affect your mistakes, your environment can affect your mistakes, your feelings can even affect your mistakes. Like different circumstances can change how you view something e.g. eliott and his problems v lola and hers.

Finally the biggest development with Lucas, and that is the ongoing abandonment issues. So basically how Lucas's abandonment issues work is again very consistent. They stem in the show from S2 but overall it's a life thing. So Lucas's mum is mentally ill and has raised Lucas in that environment. That's trauma, and especially from a young age. The father and the mother obviously have an unhappy marriage. And enventually it breaks down and the mother is in a clinic and the father leaves the family. Lucas is abandoned and feels it too. He runs off to live elsewhere and in S3 he's with Mika and Lisa.

His father is dismissive and his mother very unwell. I don't know but i think the mother is schizophrenic. I'm unsure on that though. But Lucas has issues. But what he starts to do and how they manifest is that he projects them on to his environment, and if he feels a danger of someone leaving he twists it to him being unlovable and people getting sick of him. Now some of the things he does, he creates some of these issues for himself e.g. Mika and Eliott, and some are out of his hands e.g. Yann. But overall he's generally wrong and get's the wrong idea because of the reflection of how he sees himself.

So Yann leaving becomes about Lucas not being worth it instead of Yann leaving because he's hurt that several times over the season to that point, Yann cornered lucas and begged him to confide in him, and Lucas wouldn't. So lucas gets the wrong idea and Yann handles it badly.

So Eliott ending the relationship and going back to his girlfriend is about him being a party/fuck boi and using Lucas, instead of Eliott leaving because lucas broke his heart and inadvertently revealed his skam to him.

So Lucas through the abandonment issues ends up twisting perception and judging people. Like i said before. No favourites here. Lucas had a lot of trauma so i understand what he carries. Roll on S4 and they're back and Eliott isn't ready to tell his story because it was so painful that he never told Idriss he was bipolar and cut the friendship in shame and ran away. "He was alone for a long time i think" and Lucas pushing out of insecurity and fear and they end up fighting. And yes i believe like Imane said it's Eliott's story to tell and he'll tell it on his terms. So i don't agree with what Lucas did there. But abandonment issues are irrational, so i get it. (Roll on S6 with it being Lola's story to tell)

Roll on S5 and there's a talk about cheating and perception. They're in a group and chatting at the van about cheating. And you notice each boy gives their version of their story. So Yann cheated but justifies it as he fell in love with Emma. Eliott is more realistic and calls it like it is. He cheated on Lucille and he's not proud of it but he found Lucas. (And roll on S6 and the mental illness talk with Lola focusing on the need for lucas to the point he hinges his mental health on it.) So pretty consistent with "but i got to be with Lucas" Bas is niave i feel, and gives a very black and white view of the topic. Just end it and move on.

But i've always had this view myself. I have experience with cheating. My dad cheated on my mum and yet i still feel this view. That sometimes it's not that simple. It's not that black and white, and in Eliott's case burying your mental illness in the relationship to the point you're afraid to leave. And in my dad's case. Being in a failing marriage with a mentally ill wife that you still love, children and a mortgage. I'll always maintain that cheating is wrong but i have sympathy and understanding in certain cases.

So anyway, Eliott in answer to Bas's POV does the Eliott thing. He comes at the topic in a empathetic and non judgemental way. He says generally sometimes human want more and are not satisfied so seek it. Now Lucas does the same thing again, twists the perception and projects his insecurities onto Eliott. Eliott who is petting Lucas's hair isn't even thinking of the relationship. It has nothing to do with Lucas at all. It's basically philosophical thinking in that hipster way. That humans are greedy and they want everything e.g house, car, money, job etc. And he's right. Humans have done horrible things to each other in the pursuit of what they want.

But it eats at Lucas because his abandonment issues are more than just a relationship. They are deeply rooted and a huge issue. In reality he should be seeking help. It has to get to the point where you can't blame others and you need to accept that they're bigger than you. And he confides in Arthur instead of Eliott out of fear (roll on S6 Eliott doing the same thing with Lola) this is the establishment of the love bubble and they're both doing it as we can see. So lucas tells arthur that eliott cheated on Lucille and he could do it to him.

My issue with that was, Lucas cheated too but he justifies with him being gay. But the simple fact is he played Chloe and he pursued Eliott behind her back. And when Eliott hurt or disappointed him he played her even harder. So i do find this hypocritical i must say. Then he acts panphobic, but the thing is lucas isn't panphobic. His abandonment issues project and he feels fear but it's really about Eliott leaving him. So he says Eliott goes down the street and he has more choice e.g. Both boys and girls. Add aliens and robots etc. Eliott is pansexual. So he's showing he's scared that eliott will get sick of him and eventually leave (roll on S6 and Eliott having a friendship with a girl, and Lucas scared to be real, and what is about to happen with the spoiler movie)

He very clearly says he hasn't confided these fears in Eliott for fear it may rock the relationship. Oh hi love bubble again. Arthur emphasises Eliott's love for Lucas and how greater it is than his love for Lucille. (Roll on S6 and Eliott emphasising the importance of Lucas and his need for him)

The last we see of Lucas is him crying looking at the friendship mural and Eliott in love and gratitude.

So guys i said this would be 2 parts but i think it'll be 4 because again length here. And i wanted to do Eliott in this post but it's too long now. Next part will be Eliott.

#skam france #skamfr #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury

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kcystotheheart · 4 years ago

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{🍎} I don’t feel like i got all of them but MASSIVE TAG DROP/DUMP

♡ Home is where the Heart is... {IC}

✧ I foresee the end of all I know... {Ava}

#☪︎I'm howling with the wolves {Fida}

#✦ Breaking Traditions {Sub Alt V.} ⚔︎

#☮︎You are the future; the hope of this world... {Hope}

#♟Hidden from the rest of the World… Until now {Wandering V.} ✧

#🍎of someone's eye {Mun}

#✎ We may feel out of place; but we fit together so perfectly... {X Ventus} #♔♡ Eventually we all return to it... Kingdom Hearts {S A V E D} #⚖︎ I will keep a just and fair eye... {Invi} #♘ They look to me for Guidance... {Ira} #Heartless; Dusks; Unversed? All the same {Anon} #❥ ANSWERED

#✎ He's a work in progress and that's what matters! {Vanitas/tenebrxsus}

#✎ The Light to my Darkness; he makes up what I lack... {X Vanitas}

#✧ He may be all brawn; but he has the biggest heart {Aced/ursaced}

#✧ You wouldn't hurt me; I know... {X Aced} #✦ The Beginning of it all… {Past V.} ♙ #➳ All right; No more playing around! {Hayner} #♡ It's time to strike {Open Starter} #♔ Beyond the realms... {OOC} #♥︎ I'll find my way... {Riku} #✎ Let's make a promise; To hold each other through it all {X Riku} #♤ I won't fade away so easily! {Lingering Remnant!Vanitas} #♠︎ Different from the rest... {Springy/Hareraiser} #♥︎ Once a Somebody... now a Nobody {Nobody V.} ♤ #✦ A little Generosity never hurt nobody~ {Cari} #✦ He thinks he's sooo good; but I know he's bad~ {Indus/ursaced} #✦ Momma I'm in love with a criminal; I'm the bad guy duh~ {X Indus} #♡ We'll never let the darkness consume us... {Queue}

🎲 May Lady Luck be on your side~ {Fortune} 💘 No matter what happens i’ll always be by your side {Faith} ⚔️ That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers! {Seifer} ⌨️ Cracking the {Code} 🌱Rough around the edges by soft on the inside [Jagged} 🌿 My Strength will help support them… {Aced} 🌟 I will always help the weak {Starlight} 🍃I’ll sweep you up and leave your head spinnin’! {Wind} 🛡 I will always defend them {Keeper} 🃏 Care to take a Gamble? {Luxord/Ordul} 🎵I can drop a beat {Demyx/Dyme} 🎼 Let me play a song for you~ {Arpeggio}

⚠︎ You make me feel things I thought were lost {X Lauriam} ♟ More alike than you know {Rei/solaimaginem} ✎ Even after all this time… we’re connected. {Terra/willfulwayfarer} ✎ We’ll find new secrets to discover… together! {Pence/dxgstreet} ✎ I want to capture this moment {X Pence} ➸✮ Blessed or Cursed with magic that runs within him {Magia} #🎐My Lazy Companion {Sir Snugglesopholis the Flood} #♝ I will prove my worth... {Xionort} #𝒳 No one will know... {Subject X V.} ⭑ #No longer Lost {Naminé; Vanitas & Repliku } #✎ We've had tough pasts but we can move forward {Aiden/lethargic-hunter} #♟We've cut our own strings and now we're free {Xion & Repliku} #Made a sacrifice {Repliku} #Always busy saving everyone else... {Aqua} #☯︎ Disciplinary Committee {Fuu; Seifer & Rai} #yOU leFT mE... {Nightmare Chirithy}

#Why does everything involve running? {Pence}

#Not your Typical Princess... {Kairi}

#Fun and Playful; Strong and Powerful {Ventus}

#♠︎ A little noisy... {Skitters/Flood}

#☓ Always watching; always seeing~ {Master of Masters}

#⭑ How bright is the future? {Skuld}

#♚ Stuck in Between Worlds... {Lingering V.} ♤

#✨I'll learn to use my magic for good {Apprentice V.} ✎

#✎ He understands me like no one else does {Max/pageofgoof}

#🍀I've got a present too; for all of us! {Olette}

#He once wandered the darkness seeking light; only to find he was the light {Riku}

#His smile brings about other people's happiness {Sora}

#👁‍🗨If only I could stand in her light... {Ava/verumheart}

#👁‍🗨If I could begin to be; half of what you think of me I'd do about anything {X Ava}

#🍀She sits by the Seashore {Kairi/thalassicradiance}

#✎ I'll never forget you; promise? {X Sora}

#♜ We all have our Roles to Play... {Foreteller V.} ♠︎

#♗ I have made mistakes & have more regrets than you could imagine {Master Eraqus}

#One of the strongest wielders there is {Terra}

#🎐My lovely little Pearl... {Kairi/thalassicradiance}

#♡ Something that simply resonates with me... {Aesthetic}

#➦ Portal Time {Shooter}

#➥ Eagle Eyes {Sharp}

#🌪Whispers on the Wind {Gale}

#♤ The Nobody that never was... {Kuxir}

#🎐When things are tough; I'll always welcome you home... {Ansem/afoolelopedindarkness}

#✦ I have to complete my role... {Sacrificed V.} ✧

#♡♔ Kingdom FARTS {Crack}

#♟No longer just a vessel... {Xion}

#♣︎ No one would miss me... And yet... {Roxas}

#☀︎ I always keep my promises... {Axel}

#⌁ I have to uncover the truth... {Gula}

#⚠︎ I will find a way to rewrite my Fate {Brain}

#☆⭒ A lost little Star {Strelitzia}

#♚ The Darkness has consumed us… {Alt V.} ♥︎

#{Headcanons}

#☁︎ Where there's rain; there's a storm {Rain}

#🌸As Pretty as a Flower but twice as Dangerous {Song}

#✴︎ May the Tears of Heaven hear my call... {Sterling}

#❅ Her Colours are a reflection of who she is {Aurora}

#✵ Hear my prayer O'Morning Star {Ivory}

#♾You'll never hear their name on the wind... {No Name}

#⚡️The Eye of the Storm {Tempest}

#✑ You write down your feelings on paper {Memoire}

#☆⭒ A Light in the Dark... {Roxas/aftrliight}

#👁‍🗨 It's a heavy burden to carry... {Luxu}

#♥︎ He has every right to be mad at me; but i had to do it {Roxas/caelumobscura}

#♥︎ Twilight and Dawn... What an interesting combination {X Roxas}

#☘︎Oh Look- Nope it's just them... {Dani}

#♣︎ There's just something about him that i hate... and i love {X Riku}

#✎ You remember me; the way I remember you {X Roxas}

#☆⭒ He gives me the courage I need; she is always so kind... {X Roxas}

#☆⭒ Let's go to the garden... {Lauriam/lordofoblivion}

#✘ There is always something worth fighting for... {Kohaku}

#♡ No longer just a Copy... {Repliku/Kouki}

#⚙︎Just because I'm not a 'True' Keyblade doesn't mean I can't kill you {Void}

#♥︎ You and I; were intertwined from the start... {X Kairi}

#♡ These will make anyone laugh! {Memes}

#✬ Here to help! {Chirithy}

#🌼You'll never learn from your mistakes if you don't make them {Ayaka/Roxas' mom}

#♔♡ The Mark of a Master~ {P R O M O}

#✿ Thinking of you wherever you are... {Hana/Sora's Mom}

#♤☆ When the Light embraced the Dark... {Mending Hearts V.} ★♠

#✎ He wants to break the mold {Roxas/serendimpetus}

#🗝🖤The Kingdom's Protector and the Original Blade {Chi}

#♔ Mirrored Reflections; Two in the Same {Twin V.} ♡

#★ I'll be there to hide your light when you need it {Dusk}

#♻︎ I'm not even the real thing...And yet in my soul it says otherwise {Soul}

#✩*~ I'll unlock the mysteries of the world {Ephemer}

#♠︎ Made completely out of Darkness {Vanitas}

#��*~ We'll meet where the darkness meets the light {X Vanitas}

#➳ Skateboard tricks and Sea Salt Icecream... {X Roxas}

#♡ Let's line up the pieces... Together {Main V.} ♔

#❁ He'll always be my little Sprout... {Kasumi/Riku's mother}

#❁ To trust or not to trust is the question... {Xemnas/potestasaeterna}

#♘ He trusts me to look after everyone; but who's going to look after him? {X Master}

#♘ Always one step ahead... or two- or three {Master/masterxmasters}

#☾ The path between Night and Day... {Dawn}

#♡ A Watchful eye... {Dash Commentary}

#☯︎ Total Annihilation {Fuu}

#✎ Don't forget me... {Naminé}

#☄️ I will always rise up from the Ashes {Libra}

#🔥Better watch out because I always bounce back {Ember}

#💥I will burn Eternally {Flame}

#♕ Together we'll protect the world! {Kiki}

#♛ We'll free their hearts and consume the world in darkness... {Heart!Kiki}

#🍨Not just a sweet treat~ {Sweetie}

#♜ I'll protect you from the Shadows {Oblivion}

#♖ Just follow my Light {Oathkeeper}

#♥︎ No matter the Nightmare; I'll be there {X Ventus}

#♠︎ A little noisy... {Skitters/Flood}

#🎐When you feel it in your heart; you know that your home {Mitsuki/Kairi's Grandma}

#❁ He's my stubborn Rock. {Roxas/aftrliight}

#💥She rises with the moon {Luna/verumheart}

#♧ Even in your dreams... {Dream Eater V.} ♥︎

#🍡 Cheeky Cheel {Leche}

#❦ There's more to Light than meets the eye {Young Eraqus}

#❦ And that's checkmate I win; Hold on it's still my turn {X Young Xehanort}

#The Copycat Trio {Repliku; Vanitas and Xion}

#Created with a purpose {Vanitas}

#🐶Watch out for the Mad Dog~ {Mady}

#➸✮ Reliable and Sturdy as the Shield he carries {Aegis/verumrook}

#➸✮ I shouldn't feel this way but I do... And I don't want to stop {X Aegis}

#✘ ...I will protect his light with my life... {Artemis/keyfamilia}

#✘ I don't know what he sees in me... but i'm grateful {X Artemis}

#🗝🖤A shroud of Mystery and Darkness {Master of Masters/eyesofparoxysm}

#🗝🖤The one who compliments me; who truly understands {X Master of Masters}

#✧ He's a good listener and a good friend {Luxu/gravitasfatum}

#✎ What did I do to deserve you...? {Riku/darkheartedprince}

#♔♡ It rests now within us all... {Drabble}

#💚As playful as a breeze; but as strong as a gale wind {Ventus}

#💫Not even the Night Sky could contain her Light... {Astraea}

#🍏A Bad Apple spoils the bunch {Negative Thoughts}

#☀︎ Set me ablaze; start a fire in me {X Terra}

#☀︎ He's my pillar when I'm not strong {Terra/willfulfwayfarer}

#🎐Just like the Stars; He will burn long after... {Yen Sid/omnipotentmxster}

#☀︎ Never expected to fall for a flower {X Marluxia}

#☀︎ Every Flower has it's thorns and he's full of them {Marluxia/lordofoblivion}

#✿ My Little Sparrow {Sora/lightheartedwarrior}

#❁ My Little Sprout {Riku/darkheartedprince}

#🎐If we keep each other in our hearts; we'll always be strong {Young Mitsuki}

#🎐The Stars align when he smiles... {Young Yen Sid/omnipotentmxster}

#⚚ I'm sending a message to you and I hope that it makes it through {Hermod}

#⭑ He could light the sky with his colours {Sora/valorxdrive}

#⭑ He's my knight and I'm his princess {X Sora}

#⭑ We both just wanted a friend... {Blaine/virusplanted}

#⭑ The future may be uncertain; but I'm certain of us {X Blaine}

#🧶Tying the knot {Married V.}

#♔ In another World; another Time or another Place {AU V.} ♡

#⚖︎She moves with the beauty and grace of her namesake {Aqua/theheartstreasure}

#⚖︎I certainly don't know what I did to deserve you; but i'm grateful {X Aqua}

#⌁ The only one I'll always trust {Ava/starshold}

#❀ Careful the Flowers have ears {Foxglove}

#☆⭒ He's my bookworm... {Blaine/virusplanted}

#☆⭒ One day I saw him there and couldn't help but gravitate towards him {X Blaine}

#♔ A World without Magic... {Modern V.} ♡

#🎐An old friend and fellow Master {Eraqus/eraqus-the-defender}

#❦ I wish I was enough to keep you from the Darkness... {Young Xehanort/iuvienis}

#🌕A place where all hearts are one... {Kingdom Hearts}

#🔮The Mistress of Darkness {Maleficent}

#🐚Overcame the Impossible {Maryllis/Kairi's Mother}

#🌊I will do my duty to protect the people {Nalani/Destiny Islands Mayor}

#🥀Poison runs through their veins {Vera}

#✩*~ He's the smartest guy I know {Brain/virusplanted}

#✩*~ We'll always be connected; no matter where we fly too {X Brain}

#🐚His Majesty and My King {Ansem/afoolelopedindarkness}

#🐚Two halves of a whole {X Ansem The Wise}

#✩*~ Flowers can be strong so long as you let them {Lauriam/lordofoblivion}

#🐚My Precious Treasure {Kairi/thalassicradiance}

#🐚Like Mother like daughter {Maryllis and Kairi}

#🎶Listen to my Melody {Maestro}

#Before Summer Vacation is over; we should go to the beach! {Twilight Town Gang}

#♘ More important than he realizes {Kage/thechessboard}

#✩*~ I use to think Dandelions were just weeds; I think they're beautiful {X Lauriam}

#📓Don't always believe what you see... {Lexicon}

#🌹Strong and Elegant {Rose}

#⚠︎ Infuriating and yet... He's Mi Rosa {Lauriam/rxsoideae}

#✧ She's as strong as she is beautiful {Aqua/theheartstreasure}

#✧ She makes me feel like a princess; she gives me hope {X Aqua}

#✎ We will always have each other's backs {Naminé and Aiden}

#☆⭒ Wallflower friends {Luxu and Strelitzia}

#The Darkness gave us purpose... {Dark Repliku; Vanitas & Xionort}

#Let's go to the beach {Axel; Xion & Roxas}

#⚔︎Childhood rivals to lovers {X Hayner}

#⭑★ Fallen Hearts turn to Dark Stars… {Darkling V.} ❤︎♥︎

#⭑ ...Unknowingly My Protector... {Braig/freeshooterxig}

#🍀We're stronger than we look {X Kairi}

#♟He isn't all darkness... {Vanitas/unversedshadow}

#✧ My precious Snowflake Dandelion... {Theo/keytosolidarity}

#✎ She was my light; He was my knight {X Repliku}

#//i really hope i got most if not all of them #//but i feel like i'm still missing some;;#//do not click unless you wanna be scrolling for awhile

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hyevna-blog · 8 years ago

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ur local meme here finally back from her busy life !! so it’s time for your regular starter call, if anyone would like to plot or would like a starter from hyeona give this a like and i will come & hit u up !!

#◤━ ✘ she hides you like her biggest mistake ›「ooc」!#will i evr lov someoen more than i lov jisoo #maybe taeyong #but anyone else ?? No .

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living-dead-parker · 6 years ago

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Mooo - P.P

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Summary: Peter hears the annoyingly catchy song for the first time. Inspired by this song plz listen to it it's important and vital to your life

Warnings: cussing, ooc characters most likely, mistakes most likely bc I really couldn't be bothered to check it lmao

Word Count: 723

___________________________

The only thing heard throughout the Avenger's compound is constant mooing. If it wasn't from Shuri, it was from Peter's girlfriend, y/n, or from MJ. The three girls couldn't seem to stop.

"Girls, can you please stop?" Tony even pleaded at one point, ready to get on his knees and beg. The three girls only chuckled and calmed down for an hour.

"Shuri I'll call T'challa and tell him to get you and never bring you back." Tony even threatened. "And Michelle, I'll ban you from the compound."

They called him out on his bluff. They knew he couldn't do that for multiple reasons. The biggest one being that his daughter, y/n would not allow it. Yeah, he's the adult but she's also an adult now and she just has the man wrapped around her finger.

Anyways, even the other avengers were getting quite tired of the three girls' constant mooing. Nat had threatened to push them off a cliff, to which they all pleaded her to do so. Clint was nowhere to be found, though he obviously didn't come so he could be in hiding. Bruce just ignored them and Thor was just confused.

"You know, I came here to spend time with my girlfriend." Peter whines as he playfully glares at Shuri and Michelle.

"Yeah and I came here to hang out with mine too, buddy. So what's the problem?" Michelle asks nonchalantly, a slight blush appearing on Shuri's cheeks.

"Anyways, Harley and Ned are coming over, please don't be so weird." Peter says. Yeah Peter can be weird but the mooing thing was just something he wasn't a part of.

Time passed and the two boys arrived. They all decided to hang out in the in-home theater Tony added after all the teens started hanging out at the compound. Harley was put in charge of putting on random YouTube videos, putting on vine compilations, BuzzFeed unsolved videos and more.

"Alright guys, there's this song I need you guys to hear. It's important and vital to your lives." Harley says in an urgent voice. Everyone looks up at the screen as a girl in a cow pattern crop top and space buns comes up on screen.

"Moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo." Y/n, MJ, and Shuri all sing along. With a wide grin, Harley highers the volume as Ned looks at Peter confused.

"Bitch, I'm a cow. Bitch, I'm a cow. I'm not a cat, I don't say meow. Bitch, I'm a cow." Harley joins the girls in singing. Suddenly, the older adults peek their heads in annoyance and amusement.

"I go mooo. Mooo. Mooo. I say, bitch, I'm too smooth. I'm not in the mood." The four sing as they stand up and start dancing. None of it matching the beat, just dancing all weird.

"Got milk bitch? Got beef? Got steak ho? Got cheese? Grade A ho, not lean. Got me A1, sauce please" Shuri and MJ rap along as they look at each other, Harley and y/n doing the same. Mr. Stark walks in and just watches as the four sing along.

"Ice cream, ice cream. You a calf bitch, you ma daughter. I ain't bothered, get slaughtered."

Peter and Ned watch in amusement. The former pulling out his phone and recording the hilarity of the sight before him. Shuri is getting down with the song, MJ hyping her up, which is pretty out of character of her. Y/n is whipping repeatedly and doing weird dances and Harley is just swaying to the music with the girls.

"Old McDonald had a farm, I give him a titty tryna keep him calm. I'm just tryna turn up in the country. I ain't in the city 'cause they ain't got lawns" the four rap along.

Suddenly the rest of the Avengers are watching with intrigue at the music video and the four dancing teens. Eventually, the song comes to and end and the four blush as they take notice of their audience.

"Is that why you guys are constantly mooing?" Mr. Stark asks. Y/n shyly nods at the fact of getting caught, 'being a thot', as she likes to say.

"How are you my daughter?" he asks, walking out of the room. The rest of the Avengers all walking away as well.

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dmnedbstard-blog · 5 years ago

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BILL SKARSGARD, TWENTY-FIVE / A HUNDRED AND TWO, HE/HIM, ROGUE VAMPIRE – what’s that noise ? could it be DAMIAN COOPER ? FAIRLY LOCAL by TWENTY ONE PILOTS is blaring from the speakers again. the BLACK HOLE is known for being INTELLIGENT and ARROGANT. HE is a PANSEXUAL CISMALE. you can see them as the OWNER of TWISTED MELODY. their soulmate mark is a MELTING MOON and their soulmate is POLLY-ROSE BARNES. – OOC INFO: D, GMT +3, 19, SHE/HER

hello there, lovelies ! this is d back at it again with another mess of a character. i swear that i do not have an obsession over asshole characters. i swear. maybe. damian represents a character of mine that i thought i’d never use again but here we are now. unlike rae ― damian will have at least several trigger warnings which i will list before this mess starts and below in the tags as well. read at your own risk !!

TRIGGER WARNING : blood, death, cancer, depression, mention of suicide attempt, alcohol, drugs

Damian Cooper ― a man that was born in Malmö, Sweden in a loving family that took care of him as if he was their most precious jewel that was so fragile and so small that it’ll break with one small mistake. Being an only child for a few years felt like Heaven for a boy like Damian ― he had all the attention he needed, he had the perfect grades in school and was disciplined by his parents to become the most well-behaved boy his age ― and they did not fail to do that.

Perfect in every way of the word ― Damian was adored by girls and some bold boys that would express their feelings publicly. He was constantly asked out to hang out but it was Damian that often refused; he didn’t want to get involved with anyone and have a bad influence over him and his grades. He had seen how his peers acted around one another ― and frankly Damian did not want to become like them. He wanted a future. He wanted a meaning of his life, rather than a fling that’ll come and pass. Maybe after he achieved what he wanted he could finally settle down.

However, that never happened.

He was only fifteen when his father was diagnosed with cancer ― an invisible monster that tore the Cooper family from the inside. Mr Cooper was strong; he kept a smile on his face while his wife and son tried their hardest to get enough money to help him. Damian had a job as a waiter and often because of his charms and looks he was given extra tips to help him out.

But all of that was for nothing because only a few years of battle and finally his father was taken down by that monster in his body. That scarred and both motivated Damian to do better, to not let himself be taken down as well. He now had his mother ― his only family; and now being the man of the family it was his job to take care of her. But no matter how much money he took home ― he knew his mother was torn down from her husband’s death. Several times she tried to take her own life but was stopped by Damian.

The grown man found himself a job that he could do from home which was perfect because that way he can have money and take care of his depressed mother. He was only nineteen then.

Another tragic thing to happen to Damian was the biggest and most fatal one ― when he met bloody Axel; an attractive and mysterious man that swept Damian off his feet from first sight. It was the first time Damian was seen as shy and unable to form one sentence, and Axel found it amusing and cute. He was the first one to make the first step. Damian and Axel had grown a friendship over the next few years; he even told him of his father’s death and his mother’s condition and Axel lend him a shoulder to lean on.

He took care of him.

He made him feel light.

He made him fall so hard on the ground he was never unable to stand up.

Axel taught Damian the luxury of life; alcohol, cigarettes and drugs in parties. Axel taught Damian to loosen a little bit, to enjoy life, to embrace it and move forwards. If only Damian could see the younger version of himself who had worry all over himself and was constantly shouting ‘ Bad ! Bad ! Bad ! ‘ but Damian never saw it, until it was too late.

One night, on December 21st, on Damian’s twenty-fifth birthday, Axel confessed his feelings and gave him a promise that he won’t have to worry anymore, about anything. Damian had butterfly in his stomach. Axel told him they could run away together and that he’ll handle his mother for him, which Damian protested about but Axel knew just how to shut him up. It was eight in the evening when Damian decided to go visit his mother and see how she was. Her condition was getting better, she talked more, she smiled, she did a lot of activities in the house like cooking, cleaning, reading some of Damian’s old comics he collected over the years.

Damian never taught that he’d never see the bright smile of his mother’s. What he found on the couch was the corpse of his mother with two dots right on the nape of her neck. But Damian did not have time to process everything; from the blood changing the color of the couch, soaking it, to the arms around his waist that pulled him towards a warm chest and a voice in his ear that he grew to despise.

‘ Now we will be together forever, with no worries. ‘

And then pain ran through him in sharp waves that shook his body, his heartbeat slowed down, his muscles felt too heavy, his eyelids were closing slowly, slowly until ― it was over.

The years after that went by in a blur. Damian woke up with an indescribable hunger but no human food could satisfy him; until he realized just what he needed. He spent a few decades with Axel only until he learned how to control his hunger and his strength; his emotions secretly as well. Bad influence, he was a bad influence, Damian would tell himself. Never cared about him, never loved him ― never. Those words were the only encouragement for Damian until he was strong enough to end his own maker. And once he did ― he did not feel any better.

Becoming a specialist of hiding his emotions, of faking them ― it became like a routine for Damian as the years passed. Perfectly knowing pain and anger but emotions like happiness, love ― every good emotion was so foreign to him to this day that he’d never know just how to react to it. That was the reason he built a new Damian Cooper; a heartless man that would become more cautious around the people he’d meet and dig more into their background before choosing to trust them.

But the thing was ― he was never able to trust anyone anymore.

The same was in Keene, New Hampshire where he decided to settle down and own a club that went by the name of Twisted Melody. The young boy wouldn’t like clubs, he even disliked the smell of alcohol then but now he drank it like it was water. His hunger for human blood was not as strong as before but he still had a few humans that willingly gave their blood to him so technically he wasn’t doing anything against their will.

Enemies are far easy to maintain than friendships for Damian. He hoped he’d make an enemy from his soulmate as well, as he personally would never believe in the power of his melting moon mark right on his collarbone and he can’t have anyone get close to him. The fear of being taken in the sky and let be fallen down on the ground was too much and had a firm grip on the vampire. If he was to trust anyone in particular ― he won’t make the journey really pleasant.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS :

An enemy ― Someone that Damian managed to anger to the point that person would want him dead. It could be simple rivalry in the business or something more personal.

A one night stand gone wrong ― Since Damian is not a fan of long-term relationships or even relationships at all; he’d go for a one night stand but this one could be more than once until Damian was to learn that person grew feelings for him and so he left them without saying a word, no calls or texts after.

Someone that used to work at Twisted Melody ― The perfect worker, had the best tips and was an excellent promoter for the club. However, due to certain circumstances that could be discussed further on ― Damian fired that person and separated with bad feelings.

His most loyal worker/spy ― Since Damian has trust issues like never before; he’d want someone to keep an eye out. So this role is for the people who’d be loyal to Damian, despite whether they hate him or not, and when he says something ― it happens. It doesn’t have to be a worker at Twisted Melody.

A past interaction back in Sweden ― This is possible the most emotional out of all connections for Damian because his birthplace remind him of what he lost. This connection will break his mask, but only briefly. They don’t have to be friends then, though. They could’ve attended one school and briefly interacted with one-another.

#hiddensoulsintro #tw this is long af #i apologize in advance for any mistakes #blood tw #death tw #cancer tw #depression tw #mention of suicide attempt tw #alcohol and drugs tw

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nymphl · 6 years ago

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In the General’s Bed - Regency Hux x Reader - Ch. 2 - To outsmart a General

A/N: Hi, darlings xD As promised, here I am with chapter 2 of ITGB. My biggest thanks to everyone who took their time to give me some hearts for chap 1 and if you feel like... any reblog, any comment, any like is very much welcomed and appreciated. I hope you like it xD

Story Summary: The General is cornered… Upon returning from a successful campaign in Battle of Waterloo, Armitage Hux knows he has no excuses left; he must produce the much-needed heir. The problem is, when the two of you parted five years ago, it was not in the best of terms. Now, he may not find his wife, you, so willing as he first expected, nor keen on taking part in any of his political games. [Hux x Reader – Hux x You – Regency AU].

Warnings for the entire story: Will contain at times; graphic violence, sex, drugs and manipulation, coarse language and OOCness.

AO3 Tags: Regency Era; Alternate Universe; Alternate Story; Alternate Universe - Historical; Arranged Marriage; Politics; War; Napoleonic Wars; England - 1815; Married Couple; OOCness; Smut

Wordcount: 6475

PREVIOUS CHAPTER *** NEXT CHAPTER

“THERE WAS ONCE A YOUNG SHEPHERD BOY WHO TENDED HIS SHEEP AT THE FOOT OF A MOUNTAIN NEAR A DARK FOREST. IT WAS…”

You adjusted Lux in your arms and kept on reading. It was raining, and your usual picnic and games outdoors had to be postponed. He complained, whined a bit, as expected, but complied shortly after you offered him a cookie and allowed him to lean against you as you read a book to him.

Smart as he was, he grimaced as you went further in your reading. Obviously, he understood why you choose “The boy who cried wolf” by Aesop. He took one of your locks and twirled it in his still chubby fingers. You knew he was upset, but you did not stop for a moment.

“…and when the boy complained, the wise man of the village said: ‘A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth’.”

The two of you stood a moment in silence, you placed your chin over his head and kissed his hair lovingly.

“Did you get why I chose this fable, Lux?”

He shook his head.

“But you do,” you replied in a soft voice.

He continued with your strand of hair firmly around his finger and closed his eyes; if you did not know him well, you would tell he was asleep.

“I lied one time,” he said, letting go of your hair and shifting in your arms to face you. “And I want to play outside!”

He was pouting, chubby arms folded at his chest. It took all you had not to laugh. He was so cute like that! You pursed your lips into a thin line and arched your brows.

“It’s no excuse, little Lord!” And before he could say anything else, you gestured with your hand, indicating there was still more to come, “and it’s raining outside, what do we do in raining days?”

“Stay here,” he replied begrudgingly.

He was still pouting. It was so difficult resisting him when he was such a cute little lord.

“Exactly, we stay indoors. Now, what do I want to hear?”

He was on the verge of tears, but you knew he would not cry. He bit his lips and his chin quivered; his eyes were cast down, focused on his feet. You brushed your fingers against his cheeks and forced him to look at you.

“Now, Lux, there’s no need to cry.”

“I am not crying.”

Stubborn and proud.

You kneeled in front of him and held his tiny hands between yours. You shook your head and gave him a reassuring smile.

“There is no need to hide your tears from me, little Lord.”

“Grown-up boys don’t cry.”

You arched one brow and pursed your lips. He would be very pissed off if you laughed right now…

…But the need was so overwhelming you had to bring the book to cover your face and look sideways.

It did not ease the need to laugh that much, but at least you could face him with a more serious expression. Your eyes softened as you brushed a tear on his cheeks.

“Now, seriously, Lux…” you started, keeping him away; you wanted him to face you as you said the next words, “who told you boys don’t cry? Grown-ups or not?”

He did not give you a reply.

You shook your head and bestowed him with a brief kiss on the nose. You did not let him cling to you. Dinner time was approaching, and you still had to get changed — with a guest. An acquaintance of Hux. If you were not mistaken, he was called Agent Terex. You sighed. It would be a boring night of politics and men trying to make you look like a fool because you did not understand a bunch of what they talked about.

Well, it was better having a guest than having dinner alone with him. A shiver ran down your spine as you recalled how it ended last night. You were not sure you were read at all for it.

“Let’s go. I am sure you are eager to tell Lady Rae what you have learned today.”

He stopped immediately on his tracks and looked down. Even if his ginger locks feel on his face, shadowing his expression, you could still see him pouting.

“Please don’t tell Lady Rae.”

“She’s going to be…” you stopped mid-sentence. You had to give him reassuring words. “Nice with you.”

You knew that Rae Sloane did not take a lie so lightly; he was on her black list from now on — and certainly for forever.

If Rae could scare the hell out of you, you could only imagine how frightening she could be to a child.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You will be later.”

“Can I just hide today?”

“And lie again?” You shook your head and pulled him by the hand towards the exit of the winter garden. “Not gonna happen, little Lord. Besides, she won’t let you get off that easily.”

He pouted.

“You are not going to convince me with this face.”

“What face?” he asked back, chestnut eyes wide open with curiosity. The two of you stopped in front of a shiny surface. You moved behind him and squeezed his cheeks. He grimaced.

“This crying face.”

The expression staring back at you through the mirrored surface was one of barely concealed anger.

He was so cute.

“Boys don’t cry. Only girls like you cry.”

“I don’t cry, little Lord!” you replied; hands covering your mouth in an expression of both surprise and offense.

He removed his hands from yours and folded them at his chest.

“I saw you crying the night the Lord in the horse got here.”

Oh.

Oh…

Oh!

That explained why he pretended to be sick for two nights in a row… He did that, so you could avoid sleeping next to your husband — or even getting near him, since you spent every waking hour by his side. While you appreciated the gesture — you did not want to share the same bed with the General even if your life depended on it —, you knew that Lux put the both of you in a difficult situation.

“Oh, Lux…”

“You were crying because of him, Mama?”

Although his intonation was that of a question, he knew what he was talking about. Otherwise, he would not pretend a sickness he did not have, he would not risk getting caught…

“What did I say about calling me Mama?”

He pouted.

“I hate him.”

You shook your head. Thankfully, he would change his opinion soon. It is, if he saw you crying because of the General again he wouldn’t…

“Now, let’s go. I’m sure Rae is dying to meet you.”

He groaned in response.

“She will kill me.”

“She won’t kill you,” you replied as you opened the door. You were not looking up, or you would have seen both subjects of your conversation a few seconds earlier.

“Oh hello, Lux.”

Quicker than ever, he hid behind your legs, his face completely pressed against the folds of your blue dress.

“She can still see you, Lux,” you whispered to him, a hand pressed gently against his ginger hair. “I promise you she will do you no harm.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth, my Lady,” Rae replied, a sinister smile gracing her lips. You were not sure if the one gulping was you or Lux. Her expression was one of killing you would be the merciful course of action. “Now, come along, Lux, we have a lot to talk about.”

He looked at you and only let go of your dress when you nodded. For as much as Rae could be frightening, she meant no real harm. And although Lux addressed you as his mother, she was the one to take such a role since the very beginning. He placed his small hand between hers and the two of them trailed the corridors, leaving you and the General behind.

Not really sure of what to say to him — would a mere hello do? — you started following them, but stopped on your tracks when his commanding voice reached you.

“I did not give you permission to leave.”

You took a deep breath when he closed the door of the winter garden behind himself and motioned for you to sit. You did so, choosing the loveseat so he could not get near you.

After a few seconds passed by in silence — you thought them as hours; to be in his company for even a minute seemed like torture —, you cast an unsure glance at him, only to find him holding the book in his hands, a bored expression on his face.

You sighed.

He was so difficult to read. It is, except if he felt disgusted. That was an expression he did nothing to conceal. And at the very moment he did not seem very pleased with you.

“Is that how you intend on punishing him for his mistakes?”

You sighed again. How were you supposed to tell him that punishing a child not necessarily taught them anything besides fear and resentment?

Hate.

A feeling that he seemed well acquainted with.

Love… such a meaningless word.

Funny, because hate was so meaningful to him. And love and hate, although not direct opposites had such a thin line separating them…

Noticing that he was expecting you to say something, you shook your head and concentrated on the topic at hand. It would change nothing to mull over his affections — or lack thereof — for you.

“Believe it or not, it’s a very effective way to teach children wrong from right, my Lord.”

He kept his words to himself and closed the book, handing it back to you. Carefully, you reached out for it, not very keen on having any sort of physical contact with him.

A gasp left you when he enclosed both hands around your wrists and pulled you towards him. His nose was almost brushing yours and his breathing was so mixed with yours it was difficult to distinguish them.

“The boy needs to learn discipline.”

His eyes were narrowed, you could tell he was very displeased with the disarray Lux caused for the last two days. At first, pretending to have a strong stomachache, then complaining his throat was sore. It was all gone to waste as soon as Hux called a physician he trusted — for he did seem to think both you and Rae would ask for some healer nearby to lie, so the boy would get off the hook — and had the boy examined.

The verdict was quick and clear: his health was top notch. If any part of Lux was sick, it must be his tongue, filled with the poison of his lies.

“You are too soft on him.”

“He knows he did wrong.” You agreed with the General. Most of times you were too soft on Lux, but he was the one being too harsh with a four-year-old boy. “He even apologized.”

His nostrils flared.

Sometimes, you even thought that he could smell it when you lied. And probably, he had heard part of your conversation with Lux. Did he hear the boy saying he hated him?

Oh, crap!

“He won’t learn discipline if he is not punished.”

You shifted your wrists between his hands, forcing him to loosen his grip around you. You stepped away, indignantly.

“Is that how you intend on raising our children?”

Silence.

He gave you his back and walked towards the windows. It was still raining heavily outside and from the way in which thunders and lightening crossed the grayish sky, it was obvious it would not stop any sooner.

Funny, because the weather mimicked your feelings right now. You were furious, just like the tempest castigating the green scenery outside.

You braced the book, inhaling the scent of old paper to calm yourself. It was infuriating how he could make you lose your composure so quickly.

The man from the past — the man you loved, worshiped and adored — never stirred such feelings in you. In fact, besides the butterflies dancing in your stomach whenever he got too close or stole a kiss, you could not remember ever getting mad at him before.

When his answer came, it left you boiling with rage.

“How I intend on raising my heir is none of your business.”

You took a moment to reply. He would not make you raise your voice. You were better than that. You were a respectable Marquise, for God’s sake!

“Then I am giving you no heir whatsoever.”

“Excuse me?” He looked at you over his shoulder, his narrowed eyes did nothing to hide how offended he was.

You turned on your heels and headed for the door. You would not stay in the same room as his. You still had to get ready for that damned dinner of his and he would absolutely not ruin your night with his horrible, grumpy humor.

Not even daring to look at him, you replied; your lips tilted upwards in a victorious smirk.

“It’s exactly what you heard, my Lord. I will never lay with you again. Meaning, I’m not opening my legs to you… ever.”

You expected him to be dinner to be a boring event — if boring was a word that could be used to classify any event in the company of Rae Sloane — with Agent Terex as a guest.

And it was, for the first half hour. The four of you were in silence and you wondered why your husband offered the man the courtesy of a dinner if he would not engage in any sort of conversation. It was clear he lacked the proper etiquette to be sitting near you — and while you had no complains about how he drank his wine or ate his meat, you did have a problem with his wandering eyes.

Not for the first time you saw yourself sticking your fork to his grayish orbs. If not for Rae Sloane’s hand placed over your thigh under the table, you would have acted on your wishes.

Again, why did Hux ask such indecorous, disgusting old man to have dinner with you?

For God’s sake, he was old enough to be your father!

“Tell me again, Agent Terex…” Rae started, bringing her goblet to her lips. You mimicked her, but regretted it shortly after, you almost spilled all of its content on the man’s face. And that was the problem with round tables, everyone could easily see each other. “Tell us that story in which you fell from your horse in front of His Grace, the Duke of Wellington.”

You brought your napkin to your mouth; you certainly did not want to get caught laughing in the man’s face. Rae had no such qualms. She laughed a little and then busied herself with more of her wine. Slowly, when you were sure you would not burst into laughter, you looked at Lord Terex and then at your husband. Lord Hux had the telltales of a smirk; his lips were slightly tilted upwards.

It did not go unnoticed by Lord Terex. His eyes were now narrowed, his face a bit flushed with embarrassment and… anger?

Certainly, a man of his mien knew how good it was to laugh at himself…

…Or not.

“I heard you plan on being appointed by the King himself as Prime Minister, Lord Hux.”

Silence.

There was only silence for a moment as you looked at Armitage, waiting for his answer. He cleaned the sides of his mouth slowly, as if there was nothing of his concern in the world.

You looked at Rae.

By her blank and calm expression, you realized she already knew it. Of course she did. Of course he would tell her of his plans before he even thought about telling you.

Typical.

“You heard correctly, Agent Terex.” His voice was calm, toneless. He brought his goblet to his lips and sipped the wine unhurriedly. His icy eyes focused on you.

He sure did expect you to react like the spoiled child he said you were just yesterday.

You bit your bottom lip, controlling your urges to call him on his act. However great the impulse was, you knew that was not the time to demand explanations. Your marital problems were none of Agent Terex’s business.

Besides, it was obvious he was doing it deliberately. He wanted to create a rift between you.

You snorted.

As if he could…

As if there wasn’t a huge rift already between the two of you.

As if his silence for five fucking years did not do it already.

As if his behavior two nights prior and his heartless words did not expand this rift further.

You drank your wine and smiled sweetly at your hateful guest.

“In fact,” you started, placing your goblet back on the table. “we are moving back to London by the end of this week.” Hux was looking at you, his eyes showed a hint of… admiration? You shook such thoughts away and concentrated on the task at hand. “My husband can’t be appointed as Prime Minister if he isn’t around the King or even living in the Ton, don’t you think?”

“I guess not…” Agent Terex replied, his lips curved in a smirk. He even opened his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted by your husband.

Hux cleared his throat, indicating that dinner was over. As soon as you rose to your feet, the butler approached the door leading to the drawing room and opened it for you and Rae.

“A clever little thing she is…”

You cast a glance of your shoulder at Hux, only to find his eyes on you as he replied.

“Indeed, she is.”

Part of you thought that the glint in his bluish orbs was one of admiration, but the other part was still mad at him for his behavior earlier — and a few days prior — to give it — to give him — any credit.

It was some hours later in the night — a quarter past three, you guessed — when you entered his room, only to find it empty.

Your chambers were connected by a door that lead to each other’s room and to the dressing room. After trying for hours to get some sleep without success, you decided to go to him and pour your heart out.

Prime Minister…

You always knew he was a very ambitious man and he indeed had been irreproachable serving the Crown in the War, but to be a politician? Prime Minister none the less?

That was a bit too much, even for him…

As a General he may have come across all sorts of politics, but they all concerned the War. As Prime Minister War policies would seem child’s play. As naïve and inexperienced as you were, you understood more of the Ton policies than he believed. For starters, you doubted the King would name — or even consider — a bastard as his Prime Minister. And you were not sure the Ton would accept him either.

A sigh left you. What hurt the most was the fact he did not even think about telling you.

How did he expect your support if he told you nothing about it? Because even if he thought he could do it alone, it was crystal clear he couldn’t.

Not without you.

It did not matter your family was bankrupt when you got married — when your father finally admitted he needed the bastard’s help —, your name still had prestige in the Ton. And Armitage Hux would go nowhere without it.

You shook your head and sat on his bed.

Comfortable.

Huge.

Very huge.

Bigger than yours.

In fact, his entire room was better than yours. A bit too impersonal, true, but at least it was bigger than yours.

It did not seem fair that he got the better room when he spent so many years away.

Part of you thought — with some mischievousness and some thirst for revenge — that you could have transformed it into an extension of your dressing room; it was getting smaller by the day. You needed more space to keep all of your clothing anyways.

You shook your head.

As much as it would have been fun to have him getting mad because of his chambers, you did not want that room for yourself. You never did.

Not when it brought so many memories of your first night together. You caressed the linen of the sheets, recalling how you grabbed onto them as if your life depended on it as he brought you to unimaginable heights of pleasure.

A shiver ran down your spine.

Recalling that night always made you sad.

Not because of the night itself — no, it was perfect in every sense of the word —, but because of the morning that followed.

You woke up alone — no goodbye kiss, no word whatsoever —, with your father at the foot of the bed tossing you a dressing gown and telling you your husband had gone to War and would hopefully die there before he could even dream of having his title.

The pain of receiving such news was unbearable, but it could not compare to your father complaining how much of a fool you were for giving yourself to such a man so easily.

Now you are wasted. No respectable gentleman will ever want you, even if that prick is as good as dead.

You embraced both of your legs and placed your chin over your knees.

For days your father pestered you asking if you felt something — anything — different. He had to know in which level of stupidity you were currently. He feared that you were pregnant.

And for days you hoped you were; you even slept praying for all the known gods to bless you with his child. They had to listen to you. It was the only way your father would leave you alone.

They didn’t.

At first, when your moon menses did not come, you were sure you were pregnant. And you could not be happier. But after a few days when you woke up with cramps and your sheets were tinted red you were grateful you had not conceived — and for Rae’s company as well.

She held you in her arms — or you threw yourself at her and she did not push you away — as you cried. It was obvious she was not used to comfort anyone, and it became crystal clear when she broke the news: your father would have you removing the child, if your body did not do it alone.

From this day on, you did not know who you hated more. Your husband — for leaving you alone without a word — or your father — for hating your husband so much at the point of considering having his child removed.

You bit your bottom lip. You should not give it much thought. It was all in the past. Hux was alive — your father dead — and your father was wrong.

He died believing your husband had died in the War. He died believing you were a fool for loving such man.

In fact, he called you a fool so many times you started believing his words. And after Hux’s behavior, you would not say your father was wrong after all.

You were a fool.

Seconds became minutes and minutes transformed into hours. When you last realized, you were with your head buried in his pillow, inhaling his scent as you fell asleep.

It was hours later — or minutes? You had no idea —, with a slight movement at the end of the bed that you woke up.

You opened your eyes and did not recognize where you were. You looked up, but the room was immersed in darkness. The candles burned out completely and the sun was nowhere in the sky. In its place, only the navy-blue mantle, minus its moon and stars.

“Amirtage, is that you?”

When there was no answer, you tried again.

“Lux?”

There was a sharp intake of breath as you sat on the bed, now wide awake.

“I did not expect to see you here.” His voice reached you before his fingers did. You squealed as he pulled your legs, forcing you to lay on your back and climbed atop of you.

You breathed deeply through your nose, only to realize that he was closer than you imagined. It was almost impossible to measure the distance given how dark the entire chamber was.

Your fingers touched his shoulders, only to find it lacking appropriate clothing.

“Please, tell me you are not…” You bit your bottom lip and started running your foot along his calves. The lack of fabric covering that part of his body made your stomach churn. “naked.”

He gave you only silence.

You felt compelled to keep your search, your foot aiming high. Even if he wore no socks, he would probably have his breeches on, right? You did not even want to think about the alternative.

“Careful, (Y/N),” he placed a hand under your knee, preventing further movements from you. His thumb traced lazy circles over your calves, making you blush as you thought about the other day. You felt your cheeks reddening and looked away, even if he could not see you in the darkness.

His touch over you did not last more than a few seconds before he broke apart and lit the two candles.

Your first reaction was to check if he had his breeches on. He did. Then you breathed slowly — as if your life depended on it — and looked at his face. His hair was neatly combed and in spite of his lack of upper clothing, he looked as composed as ever.

You narrowed your eyes.

“Where were you?” you asked, not very keen on starting a discussion on why he did not have all his clothes on. You were the one to invade his privacy, after all.

His almost relaxed posture of before flew away. His shoulders tensed, and he straightened his back as he took a seat on the ottoman across the room.

Shaking your head, you climbed down his bed and headed to your room. You yawned, only now you realized how tired you were. Perhaps you should leave this conversation for tomorrow, when the two of you had your minds set straight.

He did not allow to go, however. He held your wrist and pulled you to him. You feel on his lap, sitting astride him; his legs between yours. Your hands held onto his nude shoulders and his moved to your hips, keeping you in place.

You drew in a sharp breath.

“Let me go.”

Silence.

As expected.

“Let me go,” you tried once again, a tired sigh leaving your lips as you tried to break free from his grasp. He tightened his hold around you. “What do you want?” you asked in a defeated voice.

Still, he remained in silence.

He was insufferable.

“Look, I am ti— you started, but your sentence ended in a gasp as he bestowed your throat with a brief kiss.

You widened your eyes as he moved his mouth southwards, gracing your clavicle with love bites and kisses. His hands were everywhere, under your slip, caressing your skin; over your hips, moving you sinfully against him.

A moan escaped your lips.

Ashamed, you closed your mouth and you placed your hands over his, trying to stop him. It only helped to further enhance the movements.

You could feel him through his breeches. And, Gods, he was hard… Twitching with need. You shifted your hips experimentally, grinding against him, and this time he was the one to inhale sharply.

He moved his mouth to yours, taking your lips in a demanding, lustful kiss. And it was with some sort of surprise that you felt and heard the fabric of your slip torn at your back, leaving your upper body naked to his appreciation.

Your nipples hardened almost instantly — you did not know if because of the arousal or the cool breeze entering the open windows. There was no time to voice your dissatisfaction for he chose that exact moment to close his lips around your left nipple, twirling his tongue and teeth around it.

A louder moan escaped you.

But very conscient of the occupants of the nearby rooms, you closed your lips, biting the inside of your cheeks.

The general leaned back more comfortably against the ottoman, forcing you to lay atop of him. His mouth returned to your breasts, this time capturing your right nipple between his teeth.

As his hands were both occupied with your hips, dictating your movements in that scandalous sex-simulation, you brought your fingers to your neglected breast, pinching and rolling the nipple between them.

He breathed hard and broke apart. A thread of saliva connected his lips and your skin. He rested his head against the ottoman, his otherwise kept, perfect hair, completely messed, falling over his forehead, as he watched as you pleasured yourself.

You could feel yourself getting closer and for a moment, all you wanted was to climax around him — with his cock deep buried inside you.

He too was closer. If the way he brought his hips up to meet yours and rubbed you harder against him was of any indication… Or even the dark color of his irises…

You bit your bottom lip and placed both of your hands over his chest for leverage. You threw your head back as the pleasure became stronger and your eyes closed out of their own volition.

Part of you expected him to kiss you as you came — as to muffle the sounds escaping your mouth —, but instead he brought both of his hands to your breasts, pinching your nipples without any mercy.

The pain, mixed with the mind-numbing pleasure had you coming with a high-pitched moan. Your legs trembled around his hips and if not for the considerable width of the ottoman, you probably would have fallen to the floor.

Your movements took a while to come down to a halt. And it seemed like hours had passed before you opened your eyes and looked at him.

The telltales of a smirk graced his features as he ran his fingers over your nude back.

You gasped.

Your hips ground against his once more and your entire body shuddered. You were too sensible after the orgasm, your senses in disarray. It took you a moment to notice his mouth moving, he was speaking something.

…watch you pleasure yourself.”

He rolled you on the ottoman, but instead of staying atop of you he moved to the floor. It was a mere glimpse, but you could see the evidence of his coming in his breeches. You barely had any time to feel proud of yourself, for he kneeled between your legs and started removing your undergarments.

Your face was now red crimson.

He wasn’t… was he?

“I want to taste you,” he whispered against the insides of your thighs, before he placed a small kiss to your hip. You were now completely naked; at his mercy.

And heavens, how you loved it.

He was good at this.

Too good.

Did he have any practice while he was away?

The very thought was a bucket of cold water to your senses. Instead of incoherent words and moaning as his tongue expertly stroked your clit, you found yourself holding him by his ginger hair and closing your thighs. “Let me go. We can have this conversation tomorrow.”

He looked at you. His eyes clouded with something akin to confusion. Need… Lust.

You shuddered.

“You came to me and I doubt you finally left your shelter for nothing.” The way he spoke shelter had you glaring at him. It was obvious he was referring to how you tended to Lux these past two days and spared him not a single a glance during this time.

“He is just a child. And he is jealous of you. Afraid you will take me away from him forever.”

There was silence for a moment.

He caressed the inside of your knee, but this time it did not spark a rush of feelings inside you. It was… calming.

That or his spell over you was completely broken now.

“He’s insecure, but he meant no harm. If you wish…” You took a moment to think over your next words, you were sure Lux would hate you for that. “He’ll come to you and apologize for faking illness these past two days.”

If he was a lesser man he would probably have snorted.

“The boy said he hates me.”

And who doesn’t? you felt like asking. But you knew that if you did you would be lying; you would be doing the same thing you condemned Lux this very afternoon.

Besides, if this man in front of you still had something to the man you worshiped in the past, he still had some insecurities regarding his upbringing and the lack of love in his family.

Before you could control yourself, you ran your fingers through his hair. His bluish eyes were intense, but soon he closed them and enjoyed your caress.

It was like a dream.

He had his hands on the small of your back, stroking you as well.

And even if the two of you were practically naked in front of each other — well, you were naked, for he still he had only his breeches on — it was in no way a sexual moment.

It was almost companionable.

You lowered your head to kiss him — on the lips or the face it did not matter, you just wanted to show him some affection —, your breath tickling his skin, mixing with his own, and then his words caught you off guard.

“Did I make you cry?” It came out as a whisper, with no trace of judgment whatsoever, but it still made you freeze.

You stopped caressing him and straightened your back.

His hands fell to his sides.

He stared at you.

You bit your bottom lip and left his warmth, putting some steps of distance between you. This time, he did nothing to stop you. He allowed you to go.

There was a moment of silence, as you decided whether to leave or to stay. You thought that you would get no sleep if you went to your room, so you gathered his shirt, neatly folded over an armchair close to a mirror, and covered yourself.

“When are we moving to London after all?”

Your question seemed to have caught him off guard, for he took some seconds to come up with a reply.

“As you stated before, by the end of this week.”

You took two steps closer to him.

“You should have told me.”

“It would change nothing,” he replied in a matter-of-fact tone that you more than hated.

You could have asked how much it did change telling Rae about it, but you swallowed your words.

It would no do to show him how affected you were that he trusted Rae so much while he was not willing to give you the same benefit, even if you were his wife.

All your life you told yourself you refused to be a trophy wife and now you were exactly that.

For what was your use if not showing his companions — showing Lord Terex — that you were good at warming his bed and nothing more? And warming his bed you did that very night.

You bit the inside of your cheeks before you called him something you would regret later. Heartless bastard. You took a sharp intake of breath and sat on the loveseat across the room.

“It changes everything.”

He regarded you in silence, waiting for you to continue. Even if you knew almost nothing about the man in front of you — he had changed so much over the course of five years —, he seemed to know just about everything concerning you.

It was exasperating!

You wetted your lips and reunited your courage — for you would need it!

When a few seconds passed, and you said nothing, he left the bed and walked towards the anteroom. You could hear him pouring something for him — or for the two of you — and later his steps as he approached and handed you a glass with brandy.

“It changes everything because, my dear husband, if you want to be nominated for Prime Minister, you need me.”

He arched one eyebrow.

You smelled the drink and took it all in one gulp. It would give you some courage. It had to.

He was quiet throughout your discourse; his face blank. He nursed his brandy, sipping it lightly. When he returned his attention back to you, blue eyes as intense as ever, you gasped.

And found your courage.

It would be the last time Armitage Hux underestimated you.

You smiled sweetly at him as you continued, “Perhaps you don’t remember, but my father was a figure very close to the King himself…”

His eyes were narrowed.

His lips were pursed into a thin line.

You had reached him.

You had finally got some reaction from him.

Even if one of anger or disbelief — you could not precise which one you liked more. Both were very fitting — you had yanked some fucking reaction from him.

“Meaning, if I tell him you are not fit to be Prime Minister…”

He snorted.

“What you mean, my dear wife…” he stared, caressing the inside of your pulse. You did your best not to jerk away. “Is that my political career now lays in your hands.”

You nodded, feeling very confident.

“I would say it’s a clever move, if not foolish,” he whispered against your ear, trapping your earlobe between his teeth. You gasped this time, your nails deep buried in the armrests. “Lady Hux, you are playing a game you are bound to lose.”

Perhaps, you thought.

Instead of giving him any answer, you moved your head towards him, brushing your mouth against his. He licked your bottom lip, before he slithered his tongue inside your mouth. You could briefly taste yourself.

A moan escaped you.

For a moment, you let him dominate the kiss, your fingers caressing his neck and his ginger hair. Your left hand trailed his thighs. You stroked him through his breeches. Hard again. Ready to play. He inhaled sharply.

In your mind, all you could think was that if you lost, he lost was well.

That was a game played by two and the General was in for a great ride if he thought you quit so easily. If he expected to win, he better start playing by your rules.

A/N - And here you have it. I truly hope you’ve enjoyed this chapter. It’s one of my fav of this story. I’ll come back next Thursday with the next installment of ITGB. Sadly, there aren’t many posted on AO3.

#in the general's bed #hux x reader #hux x you #regency hux #regency!hux #regency story #in the generals bed #itgb #general hux #armitage hux #general hux x reader #general hux x you #armitage hux x reder #armitage hux x you

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hollowedrpg · 5 years ago

Photo

CONGRATULATIONS, ROBYN! — You’ve been accepted for the role of Arthur Weasley. Your application was honestly a dream. I love, love, love how you expanded on how Arthur’s speech impediment affected his growth, and the man he’s become. The way you delve into his relationship with Molly, and with their children just allowed me to disappear into his character. I can’t wait to see where you take him from here.

Thank you so much for applying. Please create your account and send in the link, track the right tags, and follow everyone on the follow list. Welcome to Hollowed Souls!

ooc.

name:

robyn

age:

pref pros:

she/her

timezone:

GMT (wales)

activity:

I’m working full time but other than that I should be around daily to interact.

how do you feel about your character dying?:

I’d be gutted because Arthur has already been dealt a bit of a shitty hand (what with everything in the Mols/Gid/Fab realm) but such is war and that’s this world.

anything else?:

WHERE’S MY WIFFEEEEEEEE :(( — jk he’s just suffering already :D

ic details.

full name:

Arthur Septimus Weasley

date of birth:

5th february 1950

former hogwarts house:

Ravenclaw - A boy who could be heard without words, who can command attention from his peers? tell me he’s not here to prove himself with his knowledge of other languages or pour himself into non-verbal magic to provide himself with a voice that can not be ignored. For an individual that has never been thoughtless, Hogwarts freed him from any social restraints he put on himself, the house of the curious facilitated the growth of that character, to ask questions where he felt things were unjust or provide an answer to those that challenged him. It leads perfectly into his role within the Ministry as he attempted to introduce legislature to protect and normalise muggle culture.

(I have always been irritated at the trope-y excuses for the Weasley’s being Gryffindors,Art screams Ravenclaw to me, lemme know what you think)

sexuality:

heterosexual

gender/pronouns:

cis male, he/him

face claim change:

i’m happy with sam if you are

more.

how do you interpret this character’s personality? how will you play them? include two weaknesses & two strengths.

Art is that guy that you turn to when you need someone to hear you out or have a be with. He’s a rock because he has his world laid ahead of him, his marriage is absolutely water tight and his children are the light of his life. Shake that up and you’ve shaken his core sense of stability. With Molly gone… He’s lost in the hope for her to come back to them all, to their children, to him.

Therefore his strengths look like:

Homemaker/Comforter: He and Mol built the Burrow for themselves before the children were even a whisper in their subconscious, and now he strives for the familiarity and comfort that his home gave even strangers. Godric’s Hollow is a taboo place, in a horrendous situation, but Arthur turns the dingiest corners into little nooks for the boys or respite for those around them all. Hopefully everyone benefits from smaller icons of what home could be and where it could be found again.

Defender: Arthur’s decision to join the Order was not only to protect the ones he holds dearest, but those that need help. He is no pawn to be played with and whilst he feels he has made the biggest mistake by not taking his children and wife and leaving, Arthur knows Molly will come back to him. His knowledge in defensive magic will grow broader as he seeks to understand the darker twists and turns of runic magic and strengthening wand-less charms and hexes for the purpose of duelling. What else could he do with the time where the kids are asleep?

And his weaknesses look like:

Sightless: People may’ve picked up on the speech impediment, something he’s navigated for years but he’s currently blinded. Not physically of course, but things have occurred and who knows what is happening to those missing. Arthur is a certified knot of chaos, and is only just realising that it’s detrimental to his and his children’s safety. He’s too caught in what was and cannot accept a future without his wife and friends. It’s a lot for everyone right now, but he cannot drag himself from the searing pain of what looks to be the future. Unlike others, Arthur is finding it incredibly difficult to move forwards without his stabilising people. To have lost his brother-in-law, and not know whether his other brother-in-law, and wife, has annihilated any sense of security.

Unamenable: In the sense that he hates the pity that others cast him whilst desperately requiring the support he needs for his own wellbeing and that of his children. It’s something that he needs to get over yesterday in order to survive as a parent, it isn’t weak to accept the criticism of those around him.

how has the war affected this character, emotionally and otherwise?

His blood runs cold when he can’t see all of his children. Every morning he wakes up and forgets in those two seconds that Molly isn’t going to be soft under his arms, he’s content, but then he remembers. Arthur has stopped being the warm, inviting, individual that he was once acclaimed, and is now succinct with a worn nod or an obligated line of a smile. Opening up to the new people he’s put in close proximity with isn’t his game, and instead of offering stories to lighten the mood, he listens to everyone and everything he can. He observes more so now than ever and people can assume it’s because he has a speech impediment or that he’s grief stricken because his family are missing or because he’s preoccupied with his children. Arthur isn’t at Godric’s Hollow out of choice, he’s there because he couldn’t think of a better place to be with his children. He’s incredibly thankful but doesn’t trust people’s intentions, Arthur is aware that he can be used a tool in the machine and is biding his time until someone calls upon him.

where does this character currently stand? with those who wish to hide in godric’s hollow until the war ends, with those who wish to rebuild the order and continue fighting the war, or on neither side? why?

Arthur’s as conflicted as most. Stay in the quiet with the boys and lay low, stay protected where flicks of ginger haired aren’t sought out to match their mother’s. Yet there’s a fire in him that yearns to fight and flicker from the ashes and embers, to go and fight for Molly. And he so bitterly finds himself wishing that they would’ve waited longer for the children’s sake because if there were no children they could’ve fought harder at the immediate. She wouldn’t have been lost. He shouldn’t have been a coward and told her to go alone… He’s a mass dichotomy, no one move seems to have a balanced return, he always seems to lose.

It’ll take time but he will realise that he needs to listen to his gut and fight forwards, to set an example that good does prevail when it’s smart and strong enough. For now, they’re all exhausted and Arthur’s very much caught in that state of mind also.

With Molly missing, how is Arthur managing taking care of his children and continuing to be a part of the Order? Does he feel like he should remain a part of the Order?

He knows that he has obligations to the Order because after all, they are housing his children, using resources that should be reserved for those that are actively fighting. However, they accepted that strain and he will serve as best as he can. Currently Arthur is attempting to school his children with what books are littered through Godric’s Hollow and provide structure and normalcy where there seems to be none.

Art knows the Order need people who are dedicated to lose their lives for this, for others, and more importantly for the future, but he just isn’t sure if that is something that he can actively promise or provide to any degree.

Although he continues to read and further his skills to the point where he either decides to move the children and fight with the Order or leave Godric’s Hollow and take off with them.

extra.

here you can list or add any extras you created to get a sense of this character. that can include graphics, writing samples, mock blogs, etc. apps that have extras won’t have an advantage over apps that don’t, although it can help me further understand your grasp of the character.

00/00/52 Molly

05/02/50 Arthur

29/11/70 Bill

12/12/72 Charlie

22/08/76 Percy

01/04/78 George

01/04/78 Fred

01/03/80 Ron

11/08/81 Ginny

_________________________________________________________________

“Do not listen with the intent to reply. But with the intent to understand.”

Fingertips pressed to the tip of his thumb, orderly and silent within his pocket. Listen, watch, observe Arthur, it’s the fastest track to becoming a wiser man. Advice from his father, a stoic, genius of a man. He’s taught Arthur secrets about morality and how to keep his tongue in his head before he had even considered the evils of the world. It was priceless information to have instilled into you at a younger age - especially with the Weasley name carrying blood traitor status.

However it took a time for everyone to realise that words were caught struggling to tumble from his mouth, tripping on his tongue. Fighting their way through monetary issues meant that Cedrella and Septimus Weasley were incredibly busy people whilst Arthur was younger. Both working tirelessly in order to make ends meet, and of course they did, but at the extent of Arthur never really being able to realise the frustrations of having a speech impediment until he took interest in attempting to say new words at the age of five. He should’ve been talking for longer than that but it was a combination of being busy and Arthur naturally being quiet that allowed his disability to go unrecognised.

And so began the speech therapy with a diagnosis for developmental verbal dyspraxia. His speech went from incorrect stresses to monotone, breath control allowed Art to imagine the music he had heard and loved so dearly and breathe to it, suddenly he was starting to flourish. In the meantime, he was introduced to sign language in the therapist’s waiting room, and of course he was intrigued. Talking without words? It seemed like the ultimate solution and so he delved into books and taught himself to sign in the mirror. He wasn’t fluent with expressions and developing a less mechanical place until he made friends with a few deaf children. They filled the gaps in his knowledge and he was a new friend for them to play with. It was exactly what he needed to realise that he could manage without clear language, that he could make others hear him. And these children were muggle, without magic to aid their communication.

Arthur was so excited to be surrounded in magic that he started reading the texts at the age of ten, the anticipation made him nervous beyond belief, knowing that incantations would be his fall. Instead he read the theory of the magic, practising the movements and prayed that by the time he got to Hogwarts, he would just need time to breathe through the incantations. Thankfully he was sorted into Ravenclaw, a house that fed his traits of listening but nurtured the need to ask questions, he began to reach out to his peers and ask more. And they listened, sometimes baffled by his lack of intonation, sometimes reaching out to sign themselves, it was a house of curiosity and endless questions so of course Arthur was forced to be more communicative.

Whilst it wasn’t a cure all, it was what he needed to develop into the individual that would speak out against what he thought was wrong and stand strongly for what he believed to be right.

__________________________________________________________________

“Wit beyond measure is a man’s greatest treasure.”

“RAVENCLAW!”

Red hair felt out of place on the Ravenclaw table. Warmed by a firm hand on the shoulder, his heart pounding in his chest as he looked at the faces beaming at one another, wondering what the first years might bring to the house. His quiet at the table was easily accepted and ears tentatively picking up names and hobbies. As he turned in his bed, his stomach was full of dread at the realisation of the title to live up to - the innovators and path makers. Arthur swallowed the fear of inadequacy as he rolled again, restlessness was a new thing to one so young.

It was only a week before another signed hello to him, something he hadn’t even clocked as he returned the gesture but was immediately dumbfounded as it came to the front of his mind. It earned a grin from across the room and finally he was settled in his new home, with others hungry to learn from their peers and fill gaps in their familiarity. Despite it turning out that the other thought he was deaf, Art still greatly appreciated the act of kindness, and it instilled in him to give time to others. He hadn’t tried that hard with those around him since he had been surrounded by kids at speech therapy, but this pushed him.

A mention of a charms club had him asking questions to a fifth year student who laughed at him but shrugged and jotted down the directions to a second floor classroom. His magic had never thrived more than when charged with excitement, and Art was soon to be questioned on how he was so proficient. Why was he so proficient? And so his slow explanation was spoken aloud, a rarity to the 11 year old, but others heard him and laughed, wondering if he was going to do their homework for him.

Ravenclaw is his spiritual home. It nurtured him not only with knowledge, but with opportunity. It gifted him the bollocks to ask Molly out. Ravenclaw bequeathed him the strength to shrug off ridiculous name calling and sneers about his sympathy towards non-magical possessing individuals. His core was absolute and clad with the experiences that he held dearest, to support and nurture. To defend. To listen, to learn before marching blindly. Arthur’s morality was furthered in Ravenclaw, it wasn’t borne in the house, but it was watered to full blossom. No longer a seed under fresh soil, but a sunflower tall and looking for light where seemed little.

__________________________________________________________________

“Eos ipsos defendere non possunt defendamus”

(Let us defend those who are unable to defend themselves)

Arthur fell in love with Molly. Molly fell in love with Arthur. Everyone knew that was the story, they could see it in the fond glances and touches that lingered, savouring one another. They were the couple that you almost couldn’t imagine not being together, complete yin and yang. One was burned hot and vibrant where the other ran cool and calm, pacing was better for the both of them as the realised how well the other benefited their lives.

People didn’t see the arguments about having children immediately or wanting to travel or the small pause that happened just after they bought the Burrow. It wasn’t for people to see. They certainly didn’t see the months long conversation about joining the Order or what it would do to their family. What it would do to them and for what? A cause?

“Protecting who at what cause?!”

It made sense now.

But of course there was a part to the yin and yang that absolutely reassured Arthur everyday he woke up. Because for over a decade he had given to loving Molly Prewett, he had received her love back, he was now a piece of her. He would know if she had died. He had to know. It wasn’t fabled that people collapsed out of the blue despite not knowing their significant other had passed. It couldn’t have been. He would hold Ginevra in his arms every night whispering promises of returning her to her mother, of offering the comfort of her touch, and there were nights when his daughter was his only comfort whilst he sobbed alone, defeated and exhausted.

“Children! Families! People with those to lose!”

The memory of the argument alone made him stoic and calmed his fears as much as it screamed his guilt in silent moments of thought. An odd juxtaposition but he was as determined as he was when the words had left his lips. All of them had but one goal to move through this. They would find her, because that was what they were all here to do - what they had to do.

__________________________________________________________________

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.”

Charlie. Percy. Fred. George. Ron. Where’s the baby?! WHERE’S T- Ginny.

Morning mantras were never reminding yourself that your children were alive and surrounding you, they were the eggs and bacon?

Or porridge?

No, Dad! I want toast.

It wasn’t always a tightened chest when he heard a clatter of locks changing whilst his children played across the room from him, an instant flash of hands to check that they were all aware to be respectful of those around them. He had never quietened their noise as he did so now… Not that they were louder than most’s speaking level. It still was unnatural to see his eldest pick up the younger ones when Arthur moved in front of them when somebody unexpected entered the room.

Watching his children grow up aware that they were all targets. Now that was stomach churning, to see their fight or flight in real time instead of in tag or when they were scared because they’d broken a glass.

Art was exhausting his imagination in order to provide fun alternatives for them to play or take their minds away from the cold reality. They were now learning how to write their wishes and new words and spells. Art was worried for his children getting to an age where they needed proper magical tuition, whether they would leave for Hogwarts as Bill had, how would they channel their magic initially without wands. Could he guide them through that?

What would Molly do?

His heart burned for his eldest son. He just wasn’t enough for everyone and that was the problem, wasn’t it? Arthur felt like he was letting his boy down by leaving him away from the rest of his siblings but it was the safest place for him. Perhaps safer than his siblings. It was the question that wracked his head - should he collect Bill from Hogwarts so that he was safe with everyone? How could he protect him when he was miles away? Would he be able to protect another child, especially one so desperate to protect his siblings… Molly would be so irritated at that thought. Or maybe she would be furious that he still waited, that he hadn’t taken them already. His mind buzzed light the air in a storm, but at least his words weren’t yet electric and sharp to others. Instead he exhaled and shook out the distress, heaving sighs in hopes of removing the weight crushing his chest.

Self doubt was an evil bastard and he was consumed with the what-ifs and the when’s instead of the right-here’s and the nows.

DAD!!!!

He had been waiting for it. Percy was writing letters to his grandmother when Charlie had stolen a rubber band and thwacked it across the room, hitting his brother on the side of the head. Arthur stifled a laugh whilst he watched Molly take a rather purposeful sip of tea to hide her smile before correcting the behaviour.

Dad?

Art blinked, staring at a frowning George, tuning back into the room. His son had been so hesitant, the boys were very patient with both him and Ginny in the absence of their mother. They wanted home as much as he did, but at least their space was slowly becoming more comfortable and their drawings were brightening Godric’s Hollow as small gifts to the others that sat and read stories with them all. He just hoped that this wouldn’t become their usual and he could return to the home he had made for his family.

__________________________________________________________________

AFTER THOUGHT:

(Muse is something that develops in scenario for me personally and I am stoked for the plot of this RP to reinvent the Arthur I’ve written for years. Hence how face value the answers are, but hit me up if you want more drabble or to further move through the points, I just want the chance to do this organically through interaction.)

#hp rp #rp #lsrpg #marauders rp #lsrp #accepted

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spideyy-girl · 6 years ago

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Newcomers Pt. II ~ Enoch O’Connor

Request: part two for Newcomers, please??

Summary:

Fandom: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Warnings: Yeah it’s a bit violent, and a little bit of ooc Enoch sorry.

Word Count: 2102 (5.8 pages)

Date: August 28th, 2018

A/N: so here is part two of Newcomers! If you want to check out the first one, I’ll put a link RIGHT HERE. I would probably suggest reading it, but I don’t think you have to if you want to. Sorry if it’s really bad, was posted a while ago on my old blog. PLEASE SEND IN REQUESTS!!!

Happy Reading! ~Ciara xo

MASTERLIST // PROMPT LIST // SEND REQUESTS

I’ve been here for less than a week and Jake has somehow already found a way to screw up. Barron, some evil guy that apparently killed Abe, has now stolen Miss Peregrine and guess how that happened. I love Jake to bits, but he can be so damn gullible.

So here we are. Me, Jake, and the other peculiar kids now on a quest to save their beloved headmistress. I had become good friends with the children, except Emma, she didn’t seem as fond of me, probably because she’s in love with Jake and all and thinks that I’m hoarding him. But don’t get me wrong, she’s still a lovely person, I think. Also, Jake had found his peculiarity, he can see the monsters, the hollowgasts. Really creepy things that are like seven feet tall and they tentacles coming out of their mouths and they use them to take out the eyes of peculiar children for their lunch. Lovely, right? Those are the things we’re supposed to get through to save the Bird.

Yet, I’ve still to find out what my peculiarity is. Enoch says I must have one if I was able to get through the loop, but I was really starting to doubt him. I suggested that I might’ve only been able to get through that loop since I was with Jake., but he quickly shut that down, saying that it still wasn't possible.

Enoch walked up to me, I was leaning against the rusty railing of the ship Emma pulled up from the ocean floor, just as I was. We were both drenched, water literally dripping from our clothes. But then again, we did just jump into a large body of water. He was holding Claire in his arms, resting her on his hip. She gave me a polite smile and waved to me.

“Hello, Y/N!” she says excitedly as she jumps out of Enoch’s arms and gives me a hug, well, my legs. I laugh and crouched down at her level to give her a proper hug.

“Hi, darling,” I whisper and she giggles. I laugh too as I pull away and tuck a strand of her curly dirty blonde hair behind her ear, careful not to touch her mouth on the back of her head.

“Why don’t you go and play with Fiona or something, Claire,” Enoch suggested, pushing her a little with his foot. She nodded, said goodbye, and went off to find her friend.

“Aww, why’d she have to go? Now I’m stuck with you,” I say playfully, faking a look of disgust. He rolled his eyes, trying not to let his smile get through.

“Very funny, Y/N,” he says sarcastically, as he leans on the railing beside me. We both stay quiet for the next few moments, jut admiring the day, even though it wasn’t a very good one. “So, you have any clue on your peculiarity yet?” He asked, breaking the silence. I shook my head.

“Nope,” I said, sighing. I rested my elbow on the rusty railing and put my head in the palm of my hand. “I’m telling you, I not special like you guys. I just got in ‘cause I was with Jake!”

He shook his head immediately. “Impossible,” he says, looking at me. “The loop doesn’t work like that.”

“Whatever you say,” I argue. But a small part of me inside was really hoping he was right.

Me, Jake, Emma, and Millard walk off the shipwrecked cruise ship onto the abandoned pier at Blackpool. Jake looked around before his pale blue eyes fell upon what looked like a worn down carnival ride.

“This can’t be it, can it?” he asked, looking at us. I merely shrugged as Emma replied.

“Loop entrances can be anywhere. The one in London is in a subway tunnel,” she responded looking in between him and the loop entrance. Jake gave a small nod and headed towards the old ride, Millard, Emma and I coming up close behind. As we went through the tunnel, the cracked wood and eery sense coming from the loop turned into a fun and bright one, with light up skulls to dancing skeletons hung up from the ceiling.

“Are you sure this is it?” I asked, peering out the door. Emma walked up beside me, looking out too.

“I think so,” She said, a bit sassily might I add. Outside there were crowds of people in a busy amusement park, the only thing that stayed the same was the Blackpool tower looming over us. We headed over to the tall structure, Millard obviously having to get undressed and complaining about how cold it was, and began our plan.

We were getting Miss Peregrine back.

All the peculiar children and I stood in our positions in the tent, listening in on Barren’s conversation with his little posse. I sat crouched down behind the railing separating the seats from the stage, my Y/E/C eyes peering over the edge, careful not to be caught.

“I assure you,” he sneered to them after a long rant “I will not stand idly by, to see my destiny derailed.” He finished as he turned around, only to be blown back by Emma’s big breath of wind. Jake fired his crossbow, missing Barren’s head and hitting the target behind him. Barren’s friends soon stood up, heading toward the pair.

“Hugh, do it now!” Jake exclaimed as Hugh poo[ed out from his hiding spot, opening his mouth to let hundreds of bees out and attack them. They tried to swat them away, the female ripping her coat off and trying to use that, showing off her ape-like legs and tail. She climbed a pole in an attempt to get away as the red-headed male ran into the kiddie pool full of water.

“Come back here! Get them!” Barren screamed as monkey woman swung down and picked up a bucket of knives, throwing them at Hugh, Emma and Jake. “You think you can stand in my way? You, Jake, content to age and die as if you had no the gift of peculiarity at all? As well as your little girlfriend you brought along.”

All of the sudden, Enoch popped out and tried to hit him with a bat, but missed and Barron knocked him down, leaving him unconscious. I couldn’t help the outburst come from my lips.

“Enoch!” I yelled in panic, big mistake. Barron turned towards my direction, I saw him smirk before hiding behind the wall, hopefully going unnoticed.

“Speaking of the devil,” He says, I could hear the taunt in his voice and his thudding footstep walking closer. “I am the higher being! I hold the secret to eternal life!” He says, only a few meters away from where I stood crouched down on the ground, trying not to go into the crazy panic mode.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Olive said, touching Barron’s shoulder and catching it on fire. I’d have to thank her later. Barron looked behind him to see his coat in flames and took it off, swinging it at Olive until she fell to the ground defenceless. Jake cued Bronwyn as he shot another arrow at the Wight.

“You missed me again, Jake! I take it accuracy is not your peculiarity.” He criticized before getting hit in the face with Bronwyn’s chair. He fell to the ground and groaned, but still got up without an effort. He took the crossbow and threw Jake down as he went to attack him. He then walked to the back, presumably where he kept the Ymbrynes, where Jake and Emma followed him.

I was about to run after them when I heard a small voice scream. I stood up to see that man had put little Bronwyn into the kiddie pool he had jumped in earlier and started to freeze the surface of it. And that’s what really threw me off the edge. No way was I going to let my little girl die.

“Hey!!” I yelled louder than I thought was possible, as I jumped from behind the railing. “Why don’t you go pick on someone your own size, you bastard.” He chuckled darkly, stopping his process in freezing Bronwyn in, so Fiona went to go help her out.

“And what are you going to do about it?” He asked manically. My eyes went from their usual pretty shade of Y/E/C to a deep glowing red, and as I raised my hand, I noticed it had also turned that same colour. He started to gag as my fingers curled slightly. I raised my hand higher and his feet were no longer on the ground.

Everyone stared at me in awe, even Enoch who had previously just awoken. Although I was not aware of this, I was too concentrated, too focused on making sure that this cruel man would feel the pain he made my new family feel. Monkey woman jumped down to try and get me off of him, but I threw her down with my other hand, and picking her up as well, doing the same thing to her as I was doing to her friend.

“You deserve what’s to come to you. You deserve to die slowly and painfully for what you have down, not only to my family but to all of the other peculiar children you have brutally murdered!” I spat in there faces. “You're lucky I’m feeling nice today, or that would be exactly what’s happening now.”

I violently turned my hands while closing my fists, snapping both of their necks, their now dead bodies falling to the floor with an audible ‘thump��. I fell to my knees, my head spinning, and my eyes and hands turning back to their usual colour. I looked up to see Bronwyn, Fiona, Claire, the twins, and Horace running up to me and grabbing me in a great group hug. I laughed as I wrapped my arms around them as well.

I smiled and stood up with the help of Olive. “Well done on finally finding out your peculiarity, we all knew you had it in you.” She said as she engulfed me in a hug too. I giggled and thanked her before letting her go. That left me with only one person.

Enoch walked up to me, the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on anyone, let alone him, on his face as he wrapped his long arms around me and swung me up in the air, twirling me around, and setting my back on the ground again, his arms still around my waist tightly.

“What did I say?” He said, his smile still big, if possible getting bigger. “I told you that you had it in you, and as you know, I’m never wrong.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why don’t you shut it?” I say playfully. He smirked.

“Make me.” He replied before I cut him off with my lips on his, kissing him. He quickly responded, kissing me back with just as much passion. It was like nothing else mattered, nothing else existed other than him and me. That is until I heard the kids making puking noises at us.

We pulled apart. I laughed at them as Enoch got slightly mad and told them to piss off. I wrapped my arms around his neck again and gave him a quick peck on the lips, which seemingly cheered him up again. I turned back to everyone else.

Well, what are we waiting for?” I yell enthusiastically. “Let’s go save Miss Peregrine!” And we did. Everyone got back safely to the loop, saying their goodbyes on their way in. I started to cry as the children one by one gave me they’re last hugs and farewells. As Enoch came up, a gave him a sweet kiss and he held me tightly in his arms for a while before we departed, and that's when I went completely Niagara Falls. I knew that I couldn’t leave him. Jake knew he couldn’t leave Emma. And we didn’t.

I spent years trying to get back in time. Travelling loop by loop with Jake all across the world. From California to Tokyo to London, going through a whole bunch of crazy scenarios. Which led us back to where we were now, running down the Blackpool pier from all those years ago. I thought it was stupid as I went through it all. All of this, years of commitment, for some boy? But then I would remember, remember him, remember everyone else...

And for once, I was happy for being the Newcomer.

#enoch o'connor #enoch o'connor x reader #violence #mphfpc #miss peregrines home for peculiar children #imagine #part two #pt. II #send requests!

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sunstvne0test · 2 years ago

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ABOUT. this is an indie oc multimuse primarily focusing on a handful of muses, including exclusive and test muses. selective and mutuals only. multi - everything. low to medium activity, often lurking via mobile and mostly around on weekends. this blog will handle various themes, such as relationships ( pure fluff, angst and drama ) crime driven plots or life with all its up and downs, as well as past decades. muses can be thrown into many fandoms and niches ; i don’t mind bending their stories and personalities to a certain point in order to fit them in. this blog is also a revamp of an old multimuse with influences from current and past muses ; you might have stumbled upon the one or other.

CREDIT. tba.

WRITING. english isn’t my first language and while i try my utmost best to avoid grammar and spelling mistakes, i know that they’ll happen. other than that i tend to ramble, set the scene and write out the inner monologue ( or bits at least ) of my muse. overall i prefer to write multiple paragraphs / novellas, but one liners or any smaller paragraphs are a great, too ! aesthetic-wise i love to use icons, small and double spaced text, with the occasional bold and italics. if resources are available, i’m also willing to use gif icons or medium sized gifs, but only if my partner uses them as well.

ACTIVITY / FOLLOWING. please give me at least 48 hours to check out your blog, rules and muse(s). if i shouldn’t follow you back by the third day, don’t take it personal. i’ll softblock you in order to keep my mutuals only in my followers. although, feel free to try it again after some time, my brain is like a goldfish. things might have changed. my own activity can be sporadic. i’m not to keen on having piles of drafts, hence i either post the response right away or put it in my queue. i always reply to the threads i have the most muse and energy for and i don’t mind waiting for a response either.

SHIPPING. i love it and as long as there is chemistry between our muses, i ship it. this applies to platonic connections as well and the limit is the sky, to be honest. anything from exes, kindergarten crushes, rivals, slow-burns, co-workers, best buddies, colleagues and whatever else there is, works for me.

BANNED / PLEASE DON’T INTERACT. incest of any kind, sexual and domestic abuse, master / slave / mommy / daddy kink, pure smut writing blogs, muses that are homophobic, racist, etc. or whitewashed muses. i won't interact with the following faceclaims : emma roberts, scarlett johansson, evan peters, jesy nelson, jennifer lawrence, amber heard, johnny depp, gigi and bella hadid, liam payne and priyanka chopra, as well as deceased and minors. i’m not too duplicate friendly, unless we’re close mutuals / friends !

ETIQUETTE. please cut your posts with me. it’s my biggest pet peeve, alongside with using huge gifs from the search function and blogs that have neither, a rule section or info about their muse(s). feel free to unfollow and / or soft block, even better, hard block me. no hard feelings or whatsoever.

THE MUN. call me cassie, i’m twenty seven years ( 27 in numbers ) and use she / her pronouns. i’m from the middle of europe, which puts me in the gmt+2 timezone. i suffer from social anxiety and depression, but i try to keep ooc posts regarding my mental health to a minimum and tagged. other than that i love sending posts that remind me of our muses, having multiple threads at the same time and hiding in photoshop.

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casitstoobig · 7 years ago

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Why I don’t think Cas and Kelly were being brainwashed and used by Jack, a really long post:

So this has been a really big issue on Twitter these last days and I wanted to make a post about how I didn’t think Jack brainwashed Kelly and Cas and that the decisions they made was just theirs.

Before I start, please not that this is my opinion, my interpretation of what happened in canon. I’m not saying I’m right, I’m just explaining my POV.

So let’s start with Kelly. Kelly was a really religious woman, the first time we saw her, she was holding a bible and then kneeled to pray.

She was also someone that could see the good in everyone in people. That’s why she couldn’t get rid of her baby even if Cas warned her.

She escaped, she wanted her baby to be born. Now that, I think, is really important, because the beginning of S13 showed us than Kelly had a great influence on Jack. She is the reason why he grew up so fast and why he speaks english, why he was searching for his father, Castiel, after being born. She also the reason why he’s so human (re: the teleporting thing in 13x02)

So she wanted him to be born, it was her biggest wish. But Dagon got into her head and convinced her her child would burned down the world, so she tried to kill herself. Now I don’t think that fetus Jack understood the concept of suicide, his mother was dying, he was dying, he saved her.

Some people say she started to change from there but I think it’s more subtle than that, she had always want her son to be born. I think she was changed because she was happy, and had hope again, she felt Jack, his powers and she felt he was good so she was happy, and maybe overwhelmed. Later, she would tell Cas she had lost hope but that was back. And from there she wouldn’t believe Dagon, or anyone, when they said her child was evil.

Back to her being really religious, her feeling the divine like that and being saved, it changed her yes, but I don’t think it was brainwashing, it was her religious self interpreting what happened with words like “Miracle” or “Grand Purpose”. I really don’t think it was put in her head by Jack.

But there is one more problem, Dagon told her, when Jack is born, she dies. And it doesn’t matter if Jack is good, Dagon is gonna raise him and Dagon is gonna “teach him to kill.” And Kelly doesn’t want that, she wants someone to teach him good. Jack later refers to Dagon as “the bad woman”, further proof of Kelly’s influence on him. I really think Kelly had more influence on Jack than Jack had on her, and that’s what the “I was her” line in 13x01 refers to.

Anyway, then Cas comes along and saves her from Dagon but doesn’t kill her even though that’s why he came for. He takes her to the motel and they talk, she explain, and he doesn’t believe her, he believes the child is manipulating her. In the end he humours her and ask:

Then the baby kicks and Kelly put Cas hand on her belly so he can feel it. And Cas is obviously touched:

And so is Kelly:

Now I want you to remember that she’s still processing what Cas said, who would take care of Jack? Who would protect him? Who would showed him the righteous path? So since his mother his asking Jack provides the answer and shows her.

Cas will. If they go to the sandbox, Cas will make sure he is born (again it’s what Kelly’s always wanted) and he’ll protect them. That’s why she wants to go, when the Winchesters showed up, all plans of going to the sandbox were ruined and Kelly said:

She stole the car because she was influenced by the vision yes, but not because she was brainwashed. In the end, it was still her decision, she wanted to make her vision happen.

Now let’s study Cas.

I saw some people say that Cas was acting ooc after Jack made his eyes glow. That the fact that Cas put the bros to sleep and left them or the fact that he was charging Lucifer is proof that he was brainwashed.

But let’s see Cas’ behavior in s12, he’s just back from being possessed by Lucifer, he saw the things Lucifer did to Earth and to Heaven, he saw what he did to Sam and Dean. And he feels guilty as hell, he wants to fix things but he doesn’t want his friends involved, or in danger.

So he starts by going after Lucifer on his own and tell Sam and Dean to take care of Mary instead. After that he decides to team up with Crowley, and that something that isn’t Cas-like, it’s usually the bros that team up with the demon and Cas goes along, relunctantly. The last time Cas allied with Crowley was in fact in S6 when he was hiding things from the bros and where it finally lead to his death.

So that was the first sign of Cas’ despair to right the wrongs and fix the Lucifer issue. Then LOTUS happens and Cas thinks Lucifer was dealt with but a new issue arises, Kelly Kline and her baby. Cas obviously think it’s his fault and his problem because he was the one to unleash Lucifer.

Sam and Dean are in prison so he has to rescue them first, but he can’t find them and that add to his helplessness and despair. Dean makes a deal with Billie, Billie wants to kill a Winchester, Cas kills her.

It’s not really an example of him going behind the bros back but he still kills her on impulse, without thinking about the consequences and without consulting Sam and Dean. It proves he’s reckless, and guilty, and afraid of loosing the bros bc of his mistakes. It also triggers the “cosmic consequences” Billie was talking about and “death” will start to follow him from there. He nearly dies in 12x10, 12x12, 12x19 and then dies in 12x23.

In 12x15, it really starts to show that he is desperate. He decides to accept the angels’ offer and go back to Heaven in order to find Kelly, he doesn’t ask Sam and Dean for help, and he doesn’t even tell them he’s going. He starts to lie.

In 12x19, Cas comes back to the bunker, Dean is angry and hurt that Cas hasn’t been answering his phone (and most likely prayers) and was ignoring their messages.

The Mixtape Scene is actually triggered by Cas’ late behavior. It pushes Dean to use his words and tell Cas they’re better together, as a team without secrets. He asked Cas to stick around. And Cas finally admits he’s desperate, he’s desperate for a win, for Dean, for himself. But during the conversation Dean admits he and Sam can’t kill an innocent and Cas think that burden is his to bear. So he steals the colt and leaves even though Dean has reached out.

When Cas find Kelly he can’t kill her so he runs with her. When they’re in the truck Cas says that he takes his orders from Joshua, the last time Cas was taking his orders from Heaven was in S8 when he was brainwashed by Naomi, we have to go back to S4 to have a Cas that is willingly taking orders from Heaven. Another proof of how reckless and desperate he is.

When the bros find Cas and Kelly in the motel and Cas ask how they found them. And this is the answer he gets.

Proof that Cas’ behavior was so different from normal that Sam got suspicious and put a tracking app on his phone. Sam and Dean then proceed to explain their plan to Cas, Cas seems to accept it but Kelly wants the vision she had about the sandbox to happen so she steals the car and takes off with Castiel. And Cas lets her, he points out he could stop the car but he doesn’t.

Probably because he still doesn’t want the bros to have to take care of the nephilim problem because he think it’s his problem and doesn’t want the bros to have to deal with the guilt if the child dies during the grace extraction.

Then we have the bros talking about Cas’ odd behavior and Dean admits Cas is desperate.

Fast forward, Cas and Kelly arrive at the sandbox, Dagon is here, she attacks, the bros show up, they fail to stop her. Cas tells Kelly to run, he’s ready to die to protect her, she takes his hand, the connection with the nephilim happens and Jack helps Cas to kill Dagon. And when it happens he says to Dagon:

This is Jack, using /Kelly’s/ word, another proof of the influence that Kelly had on Jack.

So everything that had happened until then was all on Cas, they were no connection before then, he was hiding secrets and going behind the bros’ backs and stealing from them BEFORE he and the nephilim had a connection.

Dean ask if Cas is okay, Cas says he’s fine, the first thing he does after that he’s healing Dean and thanking the bros, that much is not OOC.

Then he proceeded to put them to sleep, it isn’t OOC either given Cas’ recklessness and protectiveness of the bros. In S6, when he knew that the bros just won’t listen or believe him, he broke Sam’s wall to buy some time. This time he just put them to sleep.

After that Cas and Kelly get into the car and this happens:

Cas seems a little euphoric I give you that, just like Kelly was but I think it because feeling Jack was overwhelming and that Jack gave them hope. Like the both pointed out.

They both seem a little weird after their vision but I think it’s because they’re overwhelmed and it eventually wears off. In the beginning of 12x23 Cas seemed normal.

So what about that “future” Jack showed Cas? Cas tells Kelly what he saw in 12x23:

Here I think Cas is just misinterpreting the vision he had during his connection with Jack. He interpreted it as “Paradise on Earth” when it was actually his own death he was forseeing. This is emphazised after, in Sam’s speech during Cas and Kelly’s funerals:

After that the scene where Cas talks about his vision to Kelly the bros shows up and Cas first reaction is:

Watching the episode I was afraid it might be AU Cas but when he adressed only Dean when the bros and Mary showed up I was like “nope okay, typical Cas behavior” Cas learns Lucifer is still on Earth (he had no idea before, Kelly died without knowing Lucifer was back and the nephilim had no idea either).

Then Cas proceeds to heal Dean, another typical Cas behavior.

Afterwards, Cas shows the bros the AU and the showdown with Lucifer ensues.

Dean say this before Cas attacks Lucifer and gets knocked out, proof that Cas was suppose to be in the AU with them in the original plan.

I don’t think it OOC for Cas to charge Lucifer after that, he hates him and he feels guilty as hell he unleashed him again in the first place, he thinks Lucifer is weakened by the angel killing bullets, he was not there to see how that turned out, when he sees that his attack was uneffective he tries to retrieve but Lucifer follows and kills him, end of the story.

I’ll end this long-ass post with two more things.

One, Misha said that Cas where he is, Cas is eager to get back to the bros AND Jack, why would he still be brainwashed if he’s dead? I don’t think Jack has that power.

And Two, I know Dean Cas was brainwashed, but Dean saying something doesn’t mean it’s true. And Dean is reliable when it’s about Cas choosing someone over /HIM/. He didn’t want to believe Cas was working with Crowley in S6, he didn’t want to believe that Cas had chosen to stay in Purgatory instead of going with him and he invented a WHOLE new story about he was the one who failed Cas. “Really look at it”. And in S11 he didn’t want to believe that Cas said “yes” to Lucifer of his own free will. Dean is grieving, he’s hurt, he’s sad, he’s angry, he needs a culprit for Cas but Lucifer is not there, so he is blaming Jack, I understand, but he wrong, and even if I’m wrong and Jack DID brainwashed Cas, he did it for protection, it’s also canon that Jack doesn’t control his powers when he is afraid so he still can’t be blame for that.

#supernatural #spn s13 #spn s12 #jack #destiel #meta

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starliightxo · 4 years ago

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✨ Holly Discography & OOC Meanings ✨

Storytelling = songs not written about her life but a story she made up

Red

1. State Of Grace ~ for Haley

2. Red ~ (Storytelling) Comparing love and emotions to colours

3. Treacherous ~ Park

4. I Knew You Were Trouble ~ Park

5. All Too Well ~ Adrian

6. 22 ~ Just a feel good, having fun song

7. I Almost Do ~ Adrian

8. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together ~ (Storytelling) just a catchy get stuck in your head song, are specifically to be a single to get attention

9. Stay Stay Stay ~ Adrian

10. The Last Time ~ (storytelling) but in a way it's about her parents and begging them to put her first when it comes to them taking Haley. Because they never considered her in all their choices and it broke her.

11. Holy Ground ~ Adrian

12. Sad Beautiful Tragic ~ Adrian

13. The Lucky One ~ Herself discovering that starting to be known and fame isn't exactly what people expect

14. Everything Has Changed ~ (storytelling)

15. Starlight (co-written with Soraya) ~ for Soraya

16. Begin Again ~ meeting Adrian again after the 4 year gap

17. The Moment I Knew ~ a birthday she spent just after she had Haley and longing for Adrian to come back even though she knew her parents wouldn't have even let him through the door even if he had. But it's not nearly as bitter @ him as the song suggests

18. Come Back... Be Here ~ Adrian

19. Girl At Home ~ (storytelling) girls supporting girls

Fifteen (EP)

(the EP based off the songs she wrote in school/post losing adrian)

1. Love Story ~ Adrian

2. Fearless ~ Adrian

3. Fifteen ~ Herself and kind of a message to Haley to put her dreams first

4. You Belong With Me ~ Adrian/Paisley but lowkey any girl taking interest in him. I.e. margo etc.

5. Better Than Revenge ~ Paisley/Margo

6. Last Kiss ~ Adrian

7. Enchanted ~ Adrian when they met again at St Judes. their first official date was at a ball esque thingy

8. Ours ~ about Adrian @ her parents and the disapproval

9. Mine ~ Adrian (Storytelling) what she imagined

Safe And Sound (EP)

(The EP about/for haley)

1. Safe And Sound ~ a lullaby for haley

2. Innocent ~ about herself in a way and trying to forgive herself for hr mistakes when it came to haley and the choices she make but also reminding her that she could stay innocent and young for as long as possible

3. Never Grow Up ~ wishing she doesn't grow up too fast because she very much did and it was terrifying

4. Untouchable ~ How haley's kept away from her

5. Breathe ~ the follow on from untouchable and not being able to breathe without her

Welcome To New York

1. Welcome To New York ~ Her love for the city and dreaming of living there

2. Blank Space ~ (Storytelling)

3. Style ~ Adrian

4. Out Of The Woods ~ the aftermath of (tw) the rape and holly fighting to get out of the dark place and there's obviously hints of Adrian in there being with her through it

5. All You Had To Do Was Stay ~ Soraya & Dallas (storytelling)

6. Shake It Off ~ speaks for itself basically for her fans

7. I Wish You Would ~ Adrian after he disappeared when she first got pregnant and they separated

8. Bad Blood ~ Anyone against her and labelling her as the mean girl. She went very theatrical and played on it. Although everyone thinks it's specifically about Hensley, she was just one name on a long list

9. Wildest Dreams ~ back when she first started at St Judes and met Julian again, his was another sing based on their first date at the ball-esque event

10. How You Get The Girl ~ at Dallas about Soraya

11. This Love ~ Adrian

12. I Know Places ~ wanting to hide from the insider and paps and opinions whether it's with Adrian or on her own.

13. Clean ~ The last song she wrote for the album and it's about (tw) the rape. It was the first thing she ever wrote about it so it's extremely personal

14. Wonderland ~ (storytelling)

15. You Are In Love ~ Adrian

16 . New Romantics ~ St Judes/Monroe life

Reputation

1. Ready For It? ~ preparing for battle in a way. this was one of if not her biggest album and it was all about her fighting back and taking control of her public narrative. She wrote/sang about things you'd never expect and said ings you'd never expect so it's getting ready for that

2. End Game ~ Adrian

3. I Did Something Bad ~ Everyone who did her wrong and called her the mean girl

4. Don't Blame Me ~ Adrian

5. Delicate ~ Adrian

6. Look What You Made Me Do ~ are you ready for it 2.0

7. So It Goes... ~ Adrian

8. Gorgeous ~ Adrian/Haley/Soraya

9. Getaway Car ~ Park

10. King Of My Heart ~ Adrian

11. Dancing With Our Hands Tied ~ Adrian

12. Dress ~ Adrian

13. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things ~ about the shit she gets for winning awards

14. Call It What You Want ~ Adrian and their relationship but it's aimed at their parents

15. New Years Day ~ painting a nice picture of new years day (because She was (tw) raped on new years eve night just before midnight) and basically how Adrian was there for her the day after and picked her back up

Lover

1. I Forgot That You Existed ~ anyone not on her side and lowkey about the guy who r*ped her. Although that's on her mind a lot, this would have been her when she's enjoying her time with someone and she forgets for one night. Or how she wishes she could forget about him for good.

2. Cruel Summer ~ probably her brief rebound of a relationship with park tbh and she convinced herself it was love to try and make herself feel better about the guilt. But ultimately they both knew it wasn't good or going to work.

3. Lover ~ about Holly and Adrian finally being in complete control of their relationship but still having insecure moments where she worries about losing him, but he's there every time. It speaks for itself mainly tbh.

4. The Man ~ the feminist jumped out LOL she aimed for this one to be relatable in every sense cause she knows it's a very common topic. But some things jump out from her own experiences like: "when everyone believes ya, what's that like?" About the r*ape trial.

5. The Archer ~ I love how holly it is 😩 reflecting on how she handled certain situations like things with hensley (bad blood) and how she's made a lot of mistakes. And being lowkey terrified she'll lose people because of it. I think mainly Adrian and Soraya tbh.

6. I Think He Knows ~ Adrian

7. Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince ~ about the negative affects caused by st Jude's and "fame" and having Adrian there through it all. The second first specifically would be about the night of the r*pe and when she told Adrian and he was the one of the only ones who cared what the truth was. Personally I think this is the most holly song on the album! I knew exactly what she'd write it about as soon as I heard it lol

8. Paper Rings ~ Adrian

8. Cornelia Street ~ kinda Begin Again 2.0 for holly and it basically being about that first time she saw Adrian again after they're 4 years apart and the fear she had of losing them/him again. I especially feel the line "It's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend"

9. Death By A Thousand Cuts (storytelling)

10. London Boy ~ her dream has always been to live in New York so she's kinda made herself new York in this album and Adrian's the London boy, even though he isn't English LOL? but their relationship lives in London basically. And she loves NY but she'd go wherever he is instead.

11. Soon You'll Get Better ft The Dixie Chicks ~ Soraya's health problems, how much her wellbeing means to holly and how desperately she needs her to just be okay all the time.

12. False god ~ I picture her breakup with Adrian back when she was pregnant and they were kids. How it all went to shit but that small hope still there "We might just get away with it." She probably would have taken snippets from old journals back from that time for this.

13. You Need To Calm Down ~ It's about ever form of love

14. Afterglow ~ this one hits me so much and cause I'm so invested in holly and adrian, hurts my heart. Basically apologising for hurting him ever, mainly with Park. But lowkey the r*pe thing too. Even tho he'd never be mad or blame her for that, she blamed herself at one point. And She panics regularly that it would ruin them.

15. ME! ~ a confidence boost for herself, her friends and her fans.

16. It's Nice To Have A Friend ~ being in love with your best friend. Also how I picture her and Adrian starting out in school.

17. Daylight ~ about how her and Adrian both had other things while they weren't together, but since they got back together, it was like stepping back into the daylight and nothing can be as perfect as that feeling they have with each other. They never really had it with anyone else.

Folklore

1. The 1 ~ (storytelling)

2. Cardigan ~ recently holly has defo felt kind of forgotten about and falling into the shadows. And as always, Adrian is slowly started to pull her out of her dark place.

3. The Last Great American Dynasty ~ awhile ago Adrian bought them a kind of holiday home and she wrote a story about the previous owner (storytelling)

4. Exile ft Bon Iver ~ the last song she wrote for the album. Her and Adrian recently broke up and have one of if not their biggest arguments and this was about that

5. My Tears Ricochet ~ Her Parents

6. Mirrorball ~ about being what the media want you to be and being perfect and when you fall and break they watch as if it's entertainment

7. Seven ~ (storytelling) a childhood friendship where one is suffering (tw) in am abusive household and the other wants to rescue them. It's also about wanting to stay young as long as possible and when we stopped doing the little things only children get away with

8. August ~ Park

9. This Is Me trying ~ Herself and her struggle to hold it all together. She defo would have had that moment of being on the edge of a cliff and having the moment she decided to back away from it

10. Illicit Affairs ~ Park

11. Invisible String ~ Adrian

12. Mad Woman ~ Herself and women in general

13. Epiphany ~ (storytelling) a couple/people during world war 2

14. Betty ~ (storytelling)

15. Peace ~ for Adrian

16. Hoax ~ (storytelling)

17. The Lakes ~ wanting to run away but of course only with Adrian

Other Songs

Back To December

Sparks Fly

Mean

Long Live

Beautiful Ghosts

Christmas Tree Farm

I Don't Wanna Live Forever

Babe ft Sugarland

Only The Young

#hollywork #holly #saved #discography #holly discography

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