#◜♚: bllcphr◞

[paragonevil]

@the-trxangle-guy asked: “COLOR ME CURIOUS, BUT YOU’VE MET SOME OF MY ALTERNATES BEFORE HAVEN’T YOU? WHAT WERE THOSE OTHER HANSOME DEVILS LIKE? I’M NOT TRYING TO START A DEAL OR ANYTHING, JUST WONDERING!”

“I was wondering when you’d ask me about them. I’ve met so many of them at this point that I’ve begun to lose count of them all,” and that wasn’t an exaggeration, either. Literally that many had passed under his awareness over the years, most of which were only around for one or two remarks before they’d moved onto simpler prospects than trifling with him was proving to be.

But then there were others like this Bill who floated in front of him, who had proven far more persistent and annoying than the others. These were the Bills that interfered in things that weren’t their business — and made the mistake of encroaching on Aku’s cosmic territory. But unlike some of his other duplicates, at least this Bill had the good sense to not push too hard on his limits. So far. It remained to be seen if that would be the trend going forward, now that Aku had given him Demongo’s services. But for both their sakes, Aku’s and Bill’s, he certainly hoped so. The last thing he wanted was to wage an unnecessary war if he didn’t have to. What a perfect waste of resources that would be, when they both — to a limited extent — sought the same goals.

“Most of your... ‘alternates’ didn’t get very far with me. Safe to say, I think I was more than they could handle. They couldn’t budge me with their deals, such that they were. In fact, you’re the only one I’ve ever made a deal with up to this point, if my memory serves correct... Though, there was another that came close.” Quitters, all those that had given up before even getting started with him... Difficult prospects were often the most worthwhile in Aku’s opinion! But he’s not complaining that most of those other Bills learned their lesson and backed off before he truly did something regrettable.

He’s not inclined to reveal the circumstances of that other deal with the Bill that had come before. Far be it for him to divulge that he’d experienced such emotional pain that he’d wanted to stop feeling anything at all, and had very nearly taken up that other Bill on their offer to take his emotions. The last thing he wanted was for THIS Bill to get the wrong idea — that he could suggest such a deal as the one with Morty. He didn’t trust him with the knowledge of such weakness, yet.

“There was also one who was my servant, for a time. Come to think of it, I do not know where he went... I should probably be a little more concerned for his whereabouts than I actually am. He’ll turn up eventually, I am sure.”

“But forget about him... Let’s discuss the ONLY Bill Cipher who is of real concern to me. MY BILL was the most memorable of your alternates. The only Bill I’ve ever respected as my equal. I would even go so far as to consider him a member of my family.”

“He was my best friend. One of the very few beings I would trust with my life. He taught me many valuable lessons... most of which having to do with humility and allowing myself to forge bonds with others. He’s the one who encouraged me to... work on myself, so to speak. Get therapy to address my emotional shortcomings, as he did. And to work on my relationship with... my ex-fiancé back when we were having problems. Be better towards my daughter. Furthermore, Bill and his husband did me a great favor when they watched after Morty during a difficult time in my failing relationship with Rick.”

He drifted off for a moment, apparently dwelling on his memories of that other Bill from so long ago. He truly missed him. When would he see him again? He hoped it would be sooner, rather than later. It’s been so long since he’d felt such a bond with somebody; felt that kind of trust.

After a moment, he seemed to remember himself, and straightened up with a characteristic, contemptuous sneer.

“Safe to say, you are NOTHING like him. You WISH you could be even HALF the man he was!”

Again, he’s not telling the full story here. He’d felt a small twinge of attraction for this other Bill, though he hadn’t pushed the matter whatsoever at the time. THAT Bill had a partner, and one that he loved very much. Far be it for Aku to encroach on what was a happy relationship, when he... you know. ACTUALLY RESPECTED the boundaries of the parties involved. For a change. Anyone less than a close friend would surely have had to deal with him inserting himself in the relationship. What a great guy Aku is... being considerate for a friend.

“You are only the most recent in a long line of alternates that have come before you. Many of whom were hardly worth my time. You will have to do much if you wish to earn my favor, given how those who came before you proved so... taxing on my patience.” Not to mention the tall order of measuring up to the impression his best friend had left on him. No other Bill Aku had met up to this point could hope to hold a candle to him, in his opinion.