#▹ ( i'm so ashamed of how long i took to reply to this )
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d34dlysinner · 2 days ago
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Rejection angst: Andrealphus, Zagan, Foras
Decided to just do these three (since someone gave me these three names to work with so yuh) Andrealphus stood in shock as he let the words that you just spoke sink in. "I... ", he muttered as he started to feel an unfamiliar sadness wash over him. You looked at him in worry as he didn't speak nor react at all. "Andrealphus?", you asked. Your voice ringed in his head. How much he loved to hear your voice. How much he wanted to wake up and come back to that voice that somehow calmed him. "I'm okay.", he said as he gave you a faint smile. "I understand.", he continued. He gave the present he got for you and patted your head as if he wanted to show that he truly was fine. He was fine with your choice. Truly, he wanted you to be happy no matter what. He just hoped it would've been him. He just hoped that it would be you who would like to be a little family with him. He supposed that his dream had to wait a little longer. "I truly wish you happiness.", he said. "Are you fine, Andrealphus-", you wanted to atleast reassure him that he'll be okay, but instead he replied with: "I'm not at this moment... But I'll be okay in the end. I always do." Zagan was speechless. Not that he said much, but this time it truly was him not being able to reply no matter what. He just nodded and handed you the flowers he just bought. Not an emotion on his face present. That's when he opened his mouth and said: "I feel hurt, but... I also know I could never force you to like me when you don't." His deep soft voice broke the silence as you nodded at his words. "I am happy for you. I hope you will be happy for a long time.", he continued. Taking out a few talisman he prepared. "I made these, incase you said, yes. They're just for celebrating, but I do want you to use them with your lover.", he ended his words as he saw no use in keeping those. He bows before guiding you back to the palace where you're safe. Leaving soon after to think by himself. Foras dropped whatever was in his hands. "What?... Who?... How?... When?" He truly wanted to be supportive, but his emotions were taking over. He knows envy too well and at this moment he wanted to do nothing more than just keep you near him to not see your lover again. "Did... I... I'm sorry, I need to go.", he said. He didn't want to show you an ugly side of him. He isn't ashamed of his envy. He never would be, but he didn't want to scare you too. Even now, when he's trying to suppress his emotions, he's still thinking of you. Foras needed to stop himself trying to search whoever it was that managed to capture your heart before he did. He needed time to cry, think, and practice a text so he could talk to you more appropriately. When he talked to you again, three days after the news, he just said what he practiced ending it with: "I... I understand your feelings. Sadly, if I can be honest, I don't think I'll easily be able to get over you... I hope you can forgive me for my actions.", he said as he bowed slightly. You reassured him that you were fine with him. You even expected this sort of reaction from atleast someone in Hades. Foras tried to move away from your touch as you were about to pat him as comfort. But his body couldn't refuse a few more moments with you. "I think you should stop being nice to me for now... I might love you even more and I don't think I'll be able to handle that.", he said as he took a reluctant step back. "I wish you well, MC..."
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keypostos · 21 days ago
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when you were little, you remember trying to stay up late while waiting for caleb.
he would always be doing something with his friends while you were at home. he'd invite you occasionally, but you turned him down most of the time. all of his friends scared you—frankly, it was due to age, but also they would probably ignore you in favor of caleb. so, you opted to stay home.
caleb would promise to watch a movie with you, lose track of time, and then come home at 11pm. caleb would tell you that he'd come home early to play that new game with you, and you fell asleep ages before he came home. he said he'd help you with your homework, but when he got home, he found you sleeping on the dinner table.
he would always feel bad for it. you could tell by the way he stopped teasing you as much, practically sucking up to you when he came home later than promised. no matter how many times you assured him that it was fine, he never took it.
but sometimes, he'd tease you. once, he caught you staying up late for him (you had not fallen asleep yet), and asked if you missed him. he playfully stroked your cheek while you said, "of course not," while you rolled your eyes. caleb could never know that you did. terribly.
you think that it's good karma that he waits for you now.
recently, caleb took a temporary leave from the DAA. his coworkers were shocked, to say the least. he was dedicated to his job—he is a colonel in the farspace fleet, after all. caleb never revealed the reason of his departure, wanting to keep you a secret.
when asked about it, he said, "i'm not ashamed of you or anything, if that's what you're worried about. that's never it. ever," he pulls you in an embrace for reassurance. you melt into his big, broad body. you feel him let out an exhale above your head.
"i just... don't wanna share you," he mumbled into your ear.
you smile to yourself at the memory, opening the door to your apartment and taking your boots off. there's no light from the kitchen or living room, so you assume that caleb's gone off to bed early.
your footsteps pad through the quiet apartment to your dark bedroom. caleb is perched upright on your bed, resting his head on the headboard. he's tilted a little bit to the side, neck craned upwards.
you try not to run over to him. you bite the inside of your lip to stop the urge from overcoming you. when you get to caleb's side, you brush your hand over his hair, smoothing it out. your fingers trace his forehead, the slope of his nose, and his jawline. you're obsessed with him, you think, an unhealthy amount of obsessed.
"there's no way this can be comfortable," you quietly laugh, gently rubbing caleb's cheek. when you begin to shift his position, a hand reaches out and grabs your wrist.
caleb's hand swallows your wrist, and he keeps you in place. he turns his head over to you, only slightly peering his eyes open, "hey, pipsqueak. you're back."
"hi, sweet boy," you smile at him, "i'm here."
even in the dark, you notice the tips of his ears turning red. he smiles at the endearment and raises your hand to his lips, pressing a quick peck to it. then, he yanks you down onto the bed with him, pulling you into his arms.
you're in a jumbled position on top of him: your body is draped over his hips, your legs are near-dangling off of the bed, and your head is against his bare chest. the skin-to-skin contact is electrifying, and you have to look up to talk to him. the way caleb stares down at you causes you to heat up. you gulp.
"long day today? you came back later than usual," he says pulling you up higher so your legs aren't dangling.
"there were so many wanderers," you reply. you rest your head on his shoulder while you adjust yourself to a sitting position. you move to his side, and caleb lets out of a small groan. "i'm sorry i was late."
"it's fine," caleb shakes his head and rests his head on your shoulder. you continue brushing through his hair and he lets out a content sigh.
"how long have you been awake?" you rub up and down his arms, soothing him.
"not long," he finds satisfaction in the crook of your neck, placing small kisses in the crevice. he feels your hands tighten around his biceps, and you can feel him smirk against your neck. he pauses to ask, "are you tired?"
"exhausted," you shake your head. "i can't wait to go to bed."
caleb mhms into your neck, still pressing his lips around it. your heart begins to race, and if you stay in this position, you know you're never going to leave. you can hear him let out quiet moans of pleasure while he continues to kiss you.
"alright, caleb," you try to pull away, but he only tugs you closer to him, not wanting to detach his lips from you, "i haven't even showered yet, c'mon."
he stops, and cradles your face his both of his hands. he strokes your cheekbones back and forth, then he presses his forehead onto yours. you place your hands on top of his, rubbing his knuckles in silence. the only sound is your synchronized breathing.
"just for five minutes?"
you laugh again, and you watch as it tickles caleb's face. he scrunches it momentarily and you take this time to pull back. caleb intertwines his hand in yours when you stand up.
"i've been waiting all night, y'know?" he looks up at you with big, pouty eyes. you try your best not to cave. or giggle, for that matter. if that happens, then he'll know that he has you, and you won't be able to escape from that.
"liar! you said you haven't been awake for long!" you playfully swat at him. "and, do you remember when you'd keep me waiting as kids?" you reminisce, tapping your finger against your chin as if you were in deep thought. "think of this as karma," you smile.
caleb pouts as he swings your arms back and forth, keeping you still. "i said i was sorryyy," he drags out, "sooo many times."
he tugs you back one last time, but with less force than before. you stumble back into bed, and he hugs you tighty.
"i always thought of you," he whispers up at you, "so mentally, i was with you."
you snort, "i'm pretty sure that's not how it works."
"it is," he cheekily says. you hear a lilt in his voice.
"no, i remember being super tired and waiting for you to help me out with my science work. only for you to show up at like, what? was it 10 or 11?" you tease him, poking at his chest.
caleb shakes his head, burying himself deeper into you, "okay, valid. but, in my defense, i sped back home to you. i think i made a ten minute run into five that day."
you want to call him out again, but you can vividly recall his face when he came back to you. he was red—much redder than usual—and panting like a dog. your homework was quickly forgotten when you shot up and asked him if he was okay or not. his breathing was erratic, and there was so much sweat dripping down on him. but the only thing he asked about was if you still needed help on your homework.
"yeah," you say softly, "i remember that."
you kiss the top of his head and caleb releases a long exhale into your chest. "okay. i'll be quick, alright? just like you were. you won't be waiting for long," another kiss, "just let me shower, m'kay?"
at this, caleb opens an eye, a grin showing up on his face, "can i come with?"
you groan loudly, releasing yourself from caleb's grasp as you stand back up. he leans back and sits on his arms, laughing when you get up. his laughter is contagious—it's boisterous and bounces around the while room—and you find yourself giggling along with him.
you shake your head fondly as you lean down and kiss him on his lips. how could you have gone so many years without this? caleb was always right there—right in front of you—and you could've had him this whole time.
you kiss him with everything that's in you, even through your exhaustion. he slides his hand over to cup your cheek, and he presses his lips deeper into yours. you let out quiet whimpers as he continues, and caleb reciprocates.
it takes about five minutes for the two of you to come back up for air. you're breathless, and you're eyes are set on the rise and fall of caleb's chest. it reminds you of the homework night, and you chuckle before pecking him one more time.
"i'll be quick, remember?" you tuck some of his hair behind his ear. he leans into your hand, desperately. "don't miss me too much, okay? i love you," you smile.
you set off into the bathroom, replaying moments of your childhood throughout your head as you shower. has caleb always run back to you? was he always thinking about you? warmth rushes through your body, and it's not because of the hot water.
you're not surprised when caleb comes in as soon as he hears the water turn off. he stretches, flexing his abs and biceps. you're not sure if that was done on purpose.
and when he's there to help you change, blow-dry your hair, and do your skincare with him, and brush your teeth, you don't complain.
he's just making up for lost time anyway.
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caleb craze is real (please let it be the 22nd NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)
i love love love love angst but because i have work tomorrow (it's going to be so busy at the clinic please pray for me) i needed this.
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amysteryspot · 1 month ago
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A Woman's Worth - Anthony Bridgerton x Reader
Summary: Anthony tries to salvage what's left of his marriage and discovers what his wife is truly worth. (Part one)
Fandom: Bridgerton (TV Show)
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Female Reader
Warnings: mentions of miscarriage, cheating and lots of angst. English is not my first language and this wasn’t proofread.
Word Count: 4648
A/N: After so long, this piece is finally here. Thanks for patiently waiting and thanks @cevansgoodgirl for the help.
There is a mix of a scene with Laurie and Amy in Little Women and another one with Benedict and Tessa (the model/painter in 02x05), just so you know.
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He remembers the first time he saw her—really saw her.
The (Y/L/N)s were guests in Aubrey House, and (Y/N) was in the balcony with Benedict while both their mothers and most of their siblings were in the lawn.
Anthony is not even sure what drew his attention when he was passing by, he did not have a habit of eavesdropping, but he got himself held back when his brother commented on (Y/N)’s painting.
"I declare that's rather good." Benedict said making (Y/N) huff.
“We both know that good is not enough, Ben.” She said with a hint of sadness in her voice.
Anthony could understand what his brother was talking about. The painting was a rendition of the scene unfolding before them—their siblings playing around while their mothers watched over them. It was rather good, indeed.
"It doesn’t matter, there's no place for me to do art."
Benedict frowned. "That's quite the statement to make at twenty. If you don't think you're good enough you have plenty of time to try some more, do better." He pauses, poking her. "You say that to me all the time."
"Then perhaps inform the academy.” She says, sarcasm dripping in every word. “Although two of the founding members are women, we are still not allowed to enter the classroom. It doesn't matter how much money we do or do not have."
"At least not while clothed." He comments, making (Y/N) throw the rag she was holding at him, which Benedict swiftly catches, changing the subject. "Well, now that you’ve given up all your artistic hopes, what are you going to do with your life?”
“Polish up my other talents and be an ornament to society.”
It was as if Anthony was seeing his sister speak.
“You sound like Eloise.” Benedict took the words out of Anthony’s mouth.
“Maybe she has been rubbing up on me.” (Y/N) smiled.
“You are searching for a husband, then?” Benedict asks, helping her pack her things.
“Yes.” She replies sheepishly.
“That's where Mr Scott comes in, I suppose.”
Anthony had noticed how Mr Scott had taken an interest in (Y/N), he never thought she felt the same.
Benedict continued. “You’ll accept him if he comes down properly on one knee?”
“Most likely, yes.” She said, pausing to look ahead for a moment. “He’s rich, respectable.”
When Benedict stifles a laugh, she lightly slaps his arm and Anthony has to fight back a smile. “Don’t make fun.” (Y/N) reprimands him.
"I’m not, I’m not, I promise.” He pauses. “It does sound odd coming from you.”
"I've always known that I would marry rich. Why should I be ashamed of that?"
"There is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you love him." Benedict answers in a more serious tone.
Once upon a time Anthony would have easily seen himself at his brother's place, talking about love, but not anymore.
"Well, I believe we have some power over who we love, it isn't something that just happens to a person." (Y/N) says, closing the trunk with her paints, pencils and brushes inside.
"I think the poets might disagree." Benedict offers softly.
"Well, I'm not a poet, I'm just a woman.” She reminds him. “And as a woman I have no way to make money, not enough to earn a living and support my family. Even if I had my own money, which I don't, it would belong to my husband the minute we were married. If we had children they would belong to him not me. They would be his property. So don't stand there and tell me that marriage isn't an economic proposition, because it is. It may not be for you but it certainly is for me."
For the first time since he stopped to hear the conversation, hiding himself between the curtains, Anthony felt like he had overstepped a boundary, so he made quick work of fleeing the scene, her words echoing inside his head.
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Anthony remembers Benedict joking about how him and (Y/N) would make a good match. He listens as his brother tells him about the conversation he had with her and Anthony feigns ignorance to the subject, despite having heard the entire interaction. Benedict’s voice turns into white noise in the background as Anthony is transported back to a conversation he had with Daphne last season.
At the time he didn’t understand his sister’s words—perhaps, he never would. Daphne and (Y/N) shared the same struggles, but his sister had been set in marrying for love, (Y/N), on the other hand, had already resigned herself about having to marry for convenience.
It was then that Anthony recognized that the both of them were, indeed, a good match. (Y/N) was beautiful, well mannered, educated and very good at charming people. She came from a not very rich but respectable family. Anthony knew he was one of the most eligible bachelors of the season, despite his fame as a rake. It wouldn’t be a sacrifice to marry (Y/N), which made making the decision so much easier.
Anthony visited her the next day, explaining his proposal to her.
“You listened to us?” She blinked a couple of times, trying to digest the information.
“Yes,” he confessed, “and I’m terribly sorry for it, but we have to recognize that this might have been for the best.”
He observed as she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling, a little frown on her face. She was beautiful this way. Even more than when she was charming half of the ton in the many social events he had seen her.
“If you don’t mind me asking, my lord, why marry now?”
Anthony sighed. “My mom has been forcing my hand since Daphne married. Even before that, if I’m being honest. It’s time to find a good wife, settle down, and fulfill my duties.”
“Don’t take my question as an offense, but why me?”
She seemed unable to quite grasp his words. Anthony wondered if she still hoped, deep down, to marry for love and that her conversation with his brother had been only a fickle attempt to protect herself.
“You’re intelligent, (Y/N),” He kneeled in front of her. “You are beautiful and your family is respectable. If you are serious about your words to my brother, we both want the same thing from such a union.” He paused. “Would it be so bad to be married to me?”
(Y/N) bit her lip and Anthony caught himself observing the action with a little more intent than he should.
“No, my lord, I believe it wouldn’t,” she said.
“Then why not make the best we can from a predicament we can’t escape?”
She averted his gaze, looking out to the balcony where her maid was sitting and reading a book, while watching over them.
Anthony took the opportunity to look at her—hair carefully brushed and pinned up, the way the light contrasted with her silhouette, making it easier to see her nose, her lips, the  curve of her neck…
“If I were to accept your proposition, would you be committed to this relationship?”
He frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“I know that for our society standards maybe that’s too much to ask, but if I can’t be loved I’d wish to at least be respected.” She looked straight into his eyes and then Anthony understood what she was asking of him.
“You have my word that once we are engaged the only woman in my life will be you.”
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Anthony asked her father for permission to court her in the same day, then he got properly down on one knee a second time to ask for her hand in marriage, the two of them married within months. Benedict had been shocked by the whole ordeal, but all he cared about was seeing his brother and his friend at least a little bit happy.
The process of knowing each other had been smooth, a lot easier than what Anthony first anticipated. (Y/N) took her duties as the lady of the house seriously, making a point of listening to Violet quite often. His siblings seemed to adore her even more than they liked him, and although inexperienced, as he knew she was, (Y/N) had proved herself to be a good lover. For all of those reasons, Anthony thought that keeping his promise wouldn’t be such an impossible task.
Then he discovered that Sienna had never left town and Anthony, who always prided himself in being a man of his word, proved himself to be as bad as the rest of the men he was surrounded by.
He fell back into the sheets with Sienna, and not long after that his relationship with (Y/N) became purely a show. At first, Anthony thought his wife was oblivious to his escapades, but he had clearly underestimated (Y/N)’s intelligence.
They never shared a bedroom, but there was no disguising how his visits to her chambers happened less and less, as there was no denying the gossip of the house staff that could only lead her to his broken promises.
Anthony expected a fight, things being thrown at him, screams and hits, but they never came, and that was somewhat worse.
One night when he got home after meeting Sienna, (Y/N) was sitting in the dressing room between their chambers, knitting. She lifted her eyes from her work to bid him good night. It didn’t go unnoticed to him how her smile fell from her face as she took in his disheveled state. Anthony felt ashamed for the first time in years.
(Y/N) didn’t give him time to explain himself for being so late—maybe it was for the best because he honestly didn’t know if he could find a suitable excuse for that—she just got up, leaving her unfinished work resting in the loveseat, and marched to her room.
Anthony sighed, throwing his coat away carelessly. The force knocked out (Y/N)’s knitting to the ground and Anthony groaned before bending down to take it. He furrowed his brow when he recognized the pattern—an onesie.
Maybe Daphne was pregnant again? She would’ve told him, right? Simon would, for sure. Then it hit him. Holding the unfinished piece between his fingers, Anthony realized that that was the reason why (Y/N) had stayed awake waiting for him until that hour—she was pregnant and wanted to tell him the news. Instead of the happiness she must have expected, she only received the sight of an unfaithful husband and a broken marriage.
(Y/N) never mentioned it to him and Anthony pretended as if he didn’t know, waiting for her to make the first move, tell him at her own time. (Y/N) never said it though, but he couldn’t ignore the knowledge, and the more time he passed observing her, the more evident it became to him that his wife was, in fact, expecting their first child.
In no time she distanced herself from him and all came to the point of no return in the night where she had gone through the loss of their child alone while he was rolling in the sheets with Sienna.
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Anthony tried to reach out to her, succeeding only one time, a week after that fateful night, but in the following weeks, there hadn’t been much talking between them. (Y/N) would barely answer his greetings or the occasional question he threw her way trying to start a conversation. They had a few events to attend and these were the only occasions where she would grant him more than a couple of words. Anthony knew that that was all pretend for the sake of their reputation.
She refused every attempt he made to apologize or explain himself—not that there was much to explain. He couldn’t blame her, even if he wanted her forgiveness. It was her right to hate him and not want him around after he broke his promise to her.
They had never talked about it. Not until today.
(Y/N) was holding Augie, smiling down at the baby that smiled back at her, barely blinking with a look of pure adoration in his eyes.
“This one seems really enchanted by you,” Daphne comments, caressing her son’s little fingers.
“He’s just getting used to me,” (Y/N) answered,  smiling at his sister.
“Well, it’s good training, since I guess you and Anthony will probably have one of your own soon.”
Is as if Anthony’s blood turns to ice. He looks at his wife whose expression turns into shock and then sadness in the blink of an eye. He recognizes the tears pooling in her eyes as she gives the baby back to Daphne and excuses herself, leaving the drawing room too quick not to draw attention.
He hurries back after her. Simon gives him an apologetic look to which Anthony answers with an equally sad smile. It doesn’t take him long to find her, bend down in the windowsill of one of the windows of the library, one hand covering her mouth to muffle her sobbing while the other rested on her belly.
(Y/N) doesn’t hear his approach, but when he touches her as if she was expecting him too. She jumps as far away from him as she can get as if his touch burned her.
“Don’t touch me! Don’t…” she doesn’t finish the sentence but Anthony could hear it loud and clear in his head.
Don’t touch me with the same hands you’ve touched her just a week ago.
“Okay, it’s okay,” Anthony reassures her, raising his hands so she can see them. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me too, but I want to help you.”
“Nobody can help me,” she sobs, hands clutching tightly at her dress.
The sight breaks his heart. Anthony wants nothing more than to take her pain away and make it his, even though he is mourning the loss of their child with her. He knew her pain was fairly worse than his, she did not only lose a child but she had been losing her husband too.
“Why, Anthony? Why us? There are so many couples that don’t love each other and still have children, why can’t we?”
Anthony takes a step forward, then two, and then he’s bringing her into his arms, wrapping her tightly against his chest, his chin resting at the top of her head. She struggles against his touch a little, but she’s so worn out that it doesn’t take much for her to relax into him.
(Y/N) fists the lapels of his waistcoat, resting her forehead against his chest, letting herself cry.
“I wanted them so bad, Anthony,” she whispers between sobs, “so bad.”
Me too, he wants to answer. Me too.
They stay in the library, in silence, for a while. When (Y/N) finally stops crying, exhausted, Anthony takes her home without even saying goodbye to his family, sending a maid to let them know his wife was not feeling well.
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Their relationship shifts after that day. (Y/N) appears so exhausted by the recent events that slowly, she starts to let her guard down again. Anthony is careful when dealing with her, his wife is fragile and the sadness in her runs so deep that he is always afraid to say or do something that will put her through more pain.
“You don’t have to worry so much, you know.” She says, making him look up from his papers to see her already staring back at him.
“I always worry.”
“I won’t break if we talk about it,” she guarantees. “We have to talk about it.”
Anthony is not sure if she’s talking about their baby or Sienna. Either way it wasn’t exactly a conversation he was eager to have.
“How are you?” He asks before he can contain himself. Anthony wanted to ask that for a while but never found the opportunity.
“Healing,” she answers, “or trying to.”
He nods, nervously picking at his nails.
“When did you discover?” She asks.
“The onesie.” He looks up at her.
“The onesie,” she scoffs.
“You were… waiting for me?” His question is almost inaudible, full of regret and shame, but Anthony knows that she heard him.
“Yes,” she answers, “I was.” There’s a pause, and then the blow to his face. “Obviously you were occupied with more important matters, my lord.”
“(Y/N)—”
“I know about her,” she confesses. “I’ve always known, just didn’t want to acknowledge it and have to face the fact that my husband, the one that promised to respect me, at least, had so quickly forgotten his own word.”
“It’s not your fault.” He tries to explain but it seems like (Y/N) has had enough of silence.
“Oh, I know, my lord. This is entirely your fault.” She paused. “And hers. Not that it will matter for anyone, I’ll be the one to blame, after all.”
Her words cut through him the same way they did the week after her miscarriage: it’s always the woman’s fault. Hers or Sienna’s, it didn’t matter. Anthony would never understand the full extent of the pain it was to be a woman in their society, he would never fully understand how much he put her through and yet, would never be blamed for it.
There’s no answer to her words, no explanation for his behavior or broken promises. All he can do is watch her swallow the tears that were threatening to fall and take a deep breath. Anthony opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it.
“That night,” she says, “the night I… lost our child. You were with her.”
It wasn’t a question, but Anthony felt the need to answer it anyway, his voice low with shame.
“Yes.”
“I see,” she hums.
“If I could go back—”
“The outcome would have been the same.” She says.
“It doesn’t change the fact that I should have been there for you.”
“Yes, you should have.”
Anthony always knew that, since the moment he put foot inside their house and heard her screams, but hearing her say it had another weight.
“Are you still seeing her?” She asks, looking at him.
“No, it won’t happen again.”
(Y/N) scoffs. “Forgive me if I have trouble believing in it, my lord.”
“I know I haven’t been a good husband. God, I have been barely a good man since we married, but I promise you, I’ll learn from my mistakes and I’ll do better by you. I’ll be a better man, a better husband, one that you deserve and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get close to deserve you.”
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The following days, they start to talk more during meals, and the silence that falls between them when they’re both at the drawing room—Anthony working and (Y/N) reading—is not uncomfortable anymore. Each day that passes makes Anthony believe that they can fall back into the friendship they had right after they married.
He doesn’t see Sienna again. Anthony sends her a letter telling her that they should stop seeing each other because he doesn’t want to hurt his wife anymore. Which is the truth. Every time he thinks about the last time he met Sienna, his wife’s cries of pain and sorrow plague his mind and he just can’t see himself hurting her even more than he already had without even realizing it.
Anthony watches her playing with Gregory and Hyacinth in the garden. His younger siblings are fighting for her attention but she doesn’t seem to mind, going back and forth in between the two of them with ease. Then she looks at him, a huge smile on her face that made him smile too. Her attention was quickly snatched from him to his siblings again and Anthony felt a pang of jealousy in his chest—he didn’t want to share her attention.
In the past few weeks, Anthony discovered that his wife was more than the character of the perfect wife that she played for the ton. She was very much real and very much a woman with desires and ambitions. Everything that happened between then made her more bold, she didn’t take his poor excuses anymore, she talked openly about all sorts of things and Anthony caught himself wanting to listen.
“Hum, did you finally realize that you got a diamond in your hands, then?”
Anthony turned his head to look at Benedict, who had a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
His relationship with Benedict was stranded since his brother discovered about Sienna. Anthony didn’t blame Benedict, he was friend’s with his wife since they were kids. He only had himself to blame for being so foolish.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Anthony answered, not bothering to pretend he wasn’t observing their siblings with (Y/N).
“Keep lying to yourself then,” Benedict smirked, turning away to leave.
Anthony called after him. “Will you ever forgive me?”
Benedict sighed. “I’m not the one who has to forgive you. I just expected more from my brother.”
“I know,” he agrees. Benedict makes a move to go out the door, and then comes back, pulling Anthony into a hug.
“Look, I could say a thousand things to you, but nothing will undo what’s done.” Benedict says when they part, a hand resting on Anthony’s shoulder. “Just… learn from your mistakes and do better. You’re my brother and I love you, but trust me when I say that you don't deserve (Y/N). Can you imagine what mother would have done to our father if they ever found themselves in the same situation?”
“They loved each other,” Anthony protested to prevent his mind from wandering.
“You are truly oblivious, brother of mine.” Benedict scoffed.
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His brother’s word haunted him for the rest of the day and all the way back to their home. Always perceptive, his change in behavior didn’t go unnoticed by (Y/N).
“What happened,” she asked when they were alone in the dressing room.
Anthony hummed, turning around to look at her and trying not to get distracted by her beauty as she braided her own hair after taking off the jewelry.
“Nothing.”
Her reflection raises a brow at him.
“Do better,” she warns, getting up and walking up to him, face softening as she stands in front of him. “You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?”
He nods, taking one of her hands and bringing it to his face. Anthony’s eyes close.
“Is it about her?”
The question gets him off guard. His eyes open instantly to look at her and he drops (Y/N)’ hand instantly.
“No,” he answers, “no,” he adds firmly, cradling her face in between his hands. “There is no one else in my life but you. There won’t be no one else in my life but you.”
“Anthony…” She breaths, closing her eyes as her delicate hands take hold of his wrists.
He wants nothing more than to kiss her, but refrains. It’s not the time for that. They’re both healing and he doesn’t want to taint whatever it is they’re creating by getting ahead of himself. Instead, Anthony presses his lips to her hair, inhaling her scent.
“Stay with me tonight,” he pleads, not sure where the urge to stay close to her came from. Anthony expects her to put up a fight, but (Y/N) only nods, murmuring an okay, before guiding him to her room.
It’s the first time since that fateful night that the both of them sleep through it, getting up later than usual the other day.
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Their first kiss after everything that threatened to push them apart for good, happens so suddenly that none of them expects it.
(Y/N) had received the news that one of her younger sisters was going to marry the man she loves, her happiness made her throw herself at him and before either of them could realize, they were kissing each other.
It was just a chaste peck on the lips at the beginning. When they realized what had just happened they parted, his wife didn’t bother to step away from him to escape his embrace. They just stared at each other, eyes flicking between their eyes and their lips and then she placed a hand at the back of his neck, bringing him close to seal their lips again.
Anthony responded in kind, his hands on her waist, traveling up her back as he tasted her. It was like he was kissing her for the first time. They were discovering each other again, learning what each other felt like.
Desperately, Anthony wanted to discover what the strange feeling at the pit of his stomach was. Since before they married (Y/N) made him feel different, something he couldn’t put a finger on. He pushed it down to the depths of his mind—the last thing he needed was feeling something other than respect and partnership for his wife.
He protested when (Y/N) parted her lips from his and it took him a second to notice Benedict standing at the door, a smirk on his lips.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to let you know that our mother is waiting for (Y/N) downstairs. Something about the charity?”
“Oh,” his wife exclaimed, “I had forgotten about it,” she said, wriggling herself away from his arms, making Anthony growl in frustration.
If she noticed, (Y/N) made a good job at ignoring it. The same couldn’t be said about his brother.
“I figured,” Benedict smirked.
“Not a word,” (Y/N) warned as she passed him by, slapping his arm playfully.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Anthony watched as she turned around, stealing one last glance at him before disappearing and taking his breath away with her.
“Huh,” Benedict hummed, “I see.”
Rolling his eyes, Anthony asked, “And what do you see, dear brother?”
“You love her.”
“Nonsense,” he protested, “we’re just good partners.”
“Good partners don’t kiss like that.”
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The ride home was silent, but Anthony’s heart fluttered in his chest when (Y/N) searched for his hand. Could Benedict be right? Did he really fall in love with his wife? He frowned while looking out of the window of the carriage and (Y/N) might have noticed it, because she made a move to take her hand away from him. Anthony didn’t let her.
“What’s going on in your mind?”
“Something Benedict said to me.”
“If it is about the kiss, don’t mind him. It won’t happen again.”
Anthony looked at her exasperated.
“I surely hope you’re not serious about that.”
“Anthony…”
“How can I live without your kisses again is unknown to me.”
“You lived quite well without them all your life,” she smiles, shyly.
“But now that I know them, I can’t anymore.”
Painfully slowly, she moves closer, giving him the chance to meet her halfway and bring their lips together again.
It’s like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer day and Anthony can’t seem to get enough of her. They get so distracted that they don’t even realise the carriage has stopped in front of the house until the door is open.
Recomposing themselves, he observes as (Y/N) giggles at the situation and feels his heart flutter at the image.
As they prepare to retire for the night, Anthony stops for a minute before following her into her room—he has been doing that for quite a few nights.
When she notices that he hasn’t entered the bedroom, (Y/N) looks back at him with a frown.
“Anything’s wrong?”
Anthony smiles, “No, nothing’s wrong,” he answers, as she extends her hand for him to take, and they retire for the night.
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theemporium · 6 months ago
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20 or 29 🩵 with max and lando (them forgetting dates) i want to bawl my eyes out please
thank you for requesting!🫶🏽
29. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
.
They should have told you. 
They knew they should have told you, whether it was a message or a call or a fucking carrier pigeon. They knew they should have, or at least now they know they should have. And any excuse now just seemed pathetic, weak, unaccepting. 
It just added to the guilt bubbling inside them.
It had been a long three weeks with the triple header. Add in the week before where both boys headed to the factories of their respective teams to go over some upgrades and strategy plans, and it had been well over a month since you had seen either boyfriend in person. 
It was hard. Between work and time zones, it was hard to navigate a temporary long-distance relationship. But it was possible. You three made it work, but it wasn’t the same. And you couldn’t deny there was a part of you that envied them both, that envied the fact they were together and could lean on one another whilst you were stuck in another country. 
But they had missed you too. They had said as much in every phone call or good morning message you received them. Max had been relieved at the fact he owned his own jet, with both him and Lando excited to get in the air the second they were able to leave the track after the last race. They wanted to get to you as soon as possible, and you were excited to see your boys too. 
So, you dressed up a little—nothing too special, but it was more impressive than the pyjamas you had been in for most of your time home—and got a takeaway from their favourite cheat restaurant. You had set the house up, you had got snacks for a movie night. You had everything prepared for when they landed. 
And they never showed up. 
And it took a story from Daniel’s private instagram to see both boys in a club, celebrating with other drivers and colleagues, laughing and smiling and drinking. 
It was upsetting. It was fucking heartbreaking if you were honest. You had felt like you were going out of your mind missing them, going above and beyond for a stay-in date night. You had been so fucking excited and they hadn’t even bothered to send you a message to tell you their plans had changed. 
It really fucking hurt. 
“I just need some space.” 
Both boys stared at you, hopeless and lost and ashamed. Because maybe it was dramatic and maybe it was the last thing you needed after spending a month apart but you felt embarrassed and humiliated and a little out of place and—
You just needed a breather. You needed to spend time somewhere else, somewhere where you weren’t surrounded by constant reminders of them. And maybe in a weird, selfish way, you wanted them to feel the same kind of aching pining of not knowing when you were coming back. Just like you had felt the previous night, thinking they were going to be landing soon. 
“Are—” Lando swallowed harshly, his hands tightening into fists to stop them from shaking. “Are you breaking up with us?” 
“I—” Your eyes softened a little. “No. But I just…” 
“I’m sorry,” Max murmured, his eyes guilt-ridden and apologetic. “I’m so sorry. We are so sorry. It doesn’t change anything and we should have said something but—” 
“I know,” you said, your smile was a little fake and it broke the boys’ hearts to be on the receiving end of it. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose. And I know you’re both sorry. But it doesn’t change the fact that I feel like an afterthought in this relationship.” 
Max frowned. “Baby—” 
“I get it, you two are together all the time because you’re both racers. And I love that for you but,” you let out a long breath. “I think we need this. I need this.” 
“If it’s what you want,” Max eventually replied, nodding and blinking away the wetness welling up in his eyes. 
“Where are you going?” Lando asked, his voice soft and broken and it hit you in the chest how young he sounded. 
“I’m staying with a friend,” you said, and the boys knew better than to push for more details. 
Lando nodded, chewing the skin on his lower lip until it was red and raw. “We are sorry. We mean it.” 
You smiled sadly. “I know.”
.
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hiitsm · 7 months ago
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Embracing New Intimacy
Embracing New Intimacy is for 18+ only.
Fluff & Smut
-
"Mi vida, can you please not do that?" Alexia says as she walks through the door of your shared apartment, closing it quickly behind her.
Her hair is stil damp from the shower she took after her long training session, and she looks absolutely beautiful. Seeing her makes you smile.
"Can't do what?" you ask innocently, continuing to clean the kitchen. It wasn't really necessary, but whenever you have nothing else to do, you clean. It makes you feel useful and helps to ease your mind. Sometimes even you find it a bit strange.
"You are literally only wearing my favorite slip and a t-shirt," your girlfriend says as she walks up to you, gently grabbing your butt.
"How is it your favorite slip when I bought it?" you ask, raising your eyebrows playfully.
"Because I love it on you. It makes me feel certain things, so it's my favorite," she replies softly, her eyes twinkling.
You lean in and kiss her gently on the lips, trying to divert the conversation. She responds, sighing softly, but then pushes you away playfully. "No, what if I brought a teammate here?" she says, her eyes wide.
"Then they saw me like this. I'm not ashamed of my own body, amor. And this is our apartment," you reassure her, hoping to ease her mind.
"But you are mine, and I want to be the only one who sees you like this,' she says, making you smile.
"Whose am I?" you ask innocently.
"Mine," she answers with a soft smile.
You lean in and kiss her again, this time with more passion, feeling the connection deepen between you.
You both get lost in the moment, your girlfriend holding you even tighter as you feel your body surrendering to her.
That's when you remember what you got for the two of you. The thought makes you feel a mix of nervousness and excitement. With a shy smile, you gently pull away.
"I"ve got us a little something. Let me get it," you say, stepping out of her embrace.
"What did you get us?" Alexia asks, her curiosity piqued.
"Close your eyes," you tell her. She does so without hesitation, trusting you completely.
You feel a bit reluctant, aware that this could go either way. It could be wonderful, or it could be less so. You and Alexia had discussed it before, and you knew she was still hesitant. Yet, you also knew that this gesture would show her how much you trust her and how deeply you want this, with her.
You place the box gently in her hand. "Okay, open your eyes," you say. She opens them almost immediately, looking at the box in her hand. Though she remains quiet, you notice a soft smile forming on her lips.
"Just because I've done this with others doesn't mean we have to", she says softly, gesturing to the new strap-on in the box you bought for the two of you.
You and your girlfriend have always been very open about your past relationships, including experiences in the bedroom. While this level of openness might seem strange to some, it has greatly benefited both of you.
You don't have any experience with toys, and whenever you and Alexia discussed it, you would always become a bit shy. You weren't ready then.
But now, you've been ready for a while. You want to give her full control, to place your complete trust in her. However, Alexia has been hesitant, fearing that you might feel pressured into it just because she has done it with others.
"I promise you that I want this. I want to do this with you, together," you say softly, looking deeply into her eyes as you pull her into your embrace.
"Okay," she responds, burying her face in your neck and letting out a nervous giggle. It's a response you always find endearing.
The innocence fades as she kisses your neck softly. You love her gentle touch, it stirs feelings that only she can evoke in you.
Slowly, she trails kisses towards your lips, kissing them softly and slowly, finding the perfect pace to savor every moment. It's arousing, intensely so. You pull her closer, craving to feel every part of her against your body.
However, you can't pull her any closer because your girlfriend has placed the box on the kitchen counter before grabbing you and pulling you onto it.
She gazes into your eyes, her hands resting firmly on your upper thighs, sending a thrill through you. A soft smile graces her lips, causing you to blush ever so slightly.
"I love you," she whispers before kissing you softly once more.
"I love you too," you reply, gently taking her chin and pulling her in for another kiss, Iost in the moment together.
She makes no move to take off her clothes or remove your shirt. Instead, she goes straight to your core.
"This is my favorite slip because it looks beautiful on you,'' she remarks, her eyes lingering on it and noticing the wet spot, a slight smirk playing on her lips. "It looks even more beautiful when it's wet,'' she adds, trying to sound smug, but both of you end up chuckling.
"It's true," she continues after a moment, a blush forming on her cheeks as her thumbs lightly stroke the damp spot, causing you to squirm with anticipation.
She pulls the slip down slightly, then slides her tongue through your folds. Both of you moan softly in pleasure as she plays with your clit, circling it with gentle motions. You gently grab her hair, she always makes you feel so good, every time.
Before you can reach the edge, she pulls away, kissing your lips softly before lifting you off the counter. Your legs find her waist effortlessly as she grabs the box and leads both of you towards your shared bedroom.
She sits you down gently on the bed and helps you pull your shirt off. Your bare breasts capture her attention, and she softly sucks on each nipple, causing you to squirm and chuckle with delight.
You gently pull her away and assist her in undressing before grabbing the box and preparing everything.
"Okay,'' you say, having lined everything up on the bed.
"Okay," she replies softly, kissing you on the lips before grabbing the harness and putting it on.
You notice a hint of nervousness in her movements, and when you meet her gaze, you see a blush spreading across both of her cheeks.
You gently take her hand in yours. "You don't have to be nervous," you assure her softly.
"I am a little because I'm doing this with you," she admits, glancing away slightly in embarrassment.
"We're doing this together," you say firmly, cupping her face and kissing her on the lips. "Sí, amor," she responds, pulling the harness on completely, and you both chuckle nervously.
She lays you down on your back and hovers over you. Both of you glance down at the strap, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement for what's to come. When your eyes meet again, you both blush at the intense, soft looks on each other's faces.
"I am a little nervous because you are the love of my life, and you are making me feel things that I've never felt before," she says, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "You are perfect for me. I don't want to hurt you,' she admits softly.
You smile at her and kiss her gently. "I appreciate that, mi vida. You are perfect for me too. I want to do this with you, together. You won't hurt me, and if you do, then I will tell you, just like how you would tell me," you reassure her softly.
She smiles back at you, her beautiful eyes reflecting her gratitude and affection.
You both take another moment to fully immerse yourselves in this new experience together. "I love you," she says, her smile radiant and warm.
"I love you too," you reply, tilting your head up to meet her lips and kissing her deeply. The kiss starts softly but quickly deepens in intensity.
Alexia aligns the strap-on with your core, her touch gentle and precise.
She is so gentle, so perfect.
"Are you feeling alright?" she asks softly, whispering in your ear as she enters you gently.
"Yes, you manage to say, but your breathing betrays your true feelings, causing Alexia to pause.
"Tell me when I can continue,'' she says, kissing you tenderly and not stopping until you feel better.
After a moment, the initial stinging sensation fades, replaced bya sensation of pleasure that feels almost overwhelming.
"Please continue", you manage to say in between kisses, and she does, resuming with a soft and steady pace.
Alexia rocks her hips back and forth, the strap-on giving her an incredible sensation on her clit. She allows herself to fully experience every sensation, to surrender herself to you completely, and you reciprocate in kind.
Soon, the two of you are lost in a symphony of moans and pleasure, completely immersed in the intensity of the moment.
"You look so beautiful like this, amor" she tells you, her words intensifying the sensations between your legs.
"You're taking me so well," she whispers teasingly in your ear, making you chuckle softly.
"It's okay if you're feeling close, because feel the same way" she adds, her voice filled with warmth and desire.
You can feel her smiling against your neck, adding to the intimacy of the moment.
As you both continue, the intensity builds, each movement and touch deepening your connection. The room fills with the sounds of your pleasure, echoing the love and trust you share.
You find yourselves reaching the peak together, bodies and hearts entwined in ecstasy. Afterwards, you hold each other close, basking in the afterglow of your shared experience.
"I love you," she whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.
"I love you too,'' you reply softly, tracing patterns on her skin.
Together, you've embraced vulnerability, trust, and love in its most profound expression.
-
This might have some grammar errors because I haven't proof read it well.
🙂‍↕️
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thanosscross · 1 month ago
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My Darling - Choi Seung Hyun x reader part 2
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Summary: After months of not seeing your best friend, you finally reconnect, only to find out what he truly thinks about himself and the two of you, resulting in a brokenheart, and a new relationship
Warnings: none really, Seung Hyun having a slight panic attack
As you wrapped up filming for squid games, you were very quickly thrown back into the tour lifestyle, Bouncing from country to country, you couldn't shake the sadness of missing your friend though. As you got ready for your next music video shoot you took a nervous breath, you had sent an invite to Seung Hyun to come shoot on your video with you, using the excuse that you work well together acting, but he never replied. So you nervously waited, having a back-up actor if needed, but you specifically wrote this song about Seung Hyun, so it only felt right to get the chemistry behind the song right.
As you stepped on set you took one last glance around, all you could see was the empty warehouse set filled with props and crew, but Seung Hyun was nowhere to be seen, sighing sadly you checked your phone one last time, seeing nothing almost brought tears to your eyes, had he not meant what he said? Yea it had been a few months, but he did promise you..right?
As you started to film some of your solo scenes, you manager rushed over with a smile "Y/n! Y/n! Turn that frown around, baby! Your guy called, he's on his way, just stuck in traffic!" He cheered, you face immediately lit up, smiling excitedly and jumping up and down "Really!? Really!? He said he'd do it?" You gasped grabbing his arms "Yes! Yes! He did!" He smiled, he knew your situation, he had to hear about Choi Seung Hyun constantly, he tried to warn you it might not be the best for your image, but you quickly snapped at him going off about needing to get over things, your manager knew you since you were young, barely 17 whenever he signed you on, now you were nearing your thirties, your twenty eighth birthday approaching quickly, so seeing you this excited over a boy was something entirely different.
Unknown to you, Seung Hyun had ditched his taxi long ago, he was close enough to be able to make it running, traffic was picking up anyways. As he ran up onto your set he saw you standing off to the side, waiting while looking around occasionally "Seung Hyun!" You shouted seeing him, throwing your jacket down to sprint to him, as soon as you were close enough, Seung Hyun immediately lifted you into the air spinning you around in a hug, squeezing you tightly "Hey! Hey! Careful! Don't hurt her!" Your manager shouted in a panic "Don't worry about him, he just doesn't want anything messed up for my show" You giggled looking down to your friend, your heart racing feeling yourself being that close to him again. "So are you really gonna do the video with me?" You asked excited, Seung Hyun nervously smiled "Ya know..I don't know...I want to..but I don't want to ruin your image and stuff..." He mumbled, you frowned, you knew he was still ashamed of what happened and how badly everybody reacted, it hit him hard and it was always worried about how it'd effect the people around him "Seung Hyun! I don't care about that! You are my best friend! I want you to be the part so who cares!" You argued cupping his cheeks, Seung Hyun couldn't hide the blush on his cheeks feeling your hands being so intimate than you had ever been with him.
"I guess..If you're sure.." He mumbled "I'm so sure! If anybody has anything to say I'll give them a piece of my mind!" You huffed grabbing his hand marching towards set, he gave your manager a look raising his eyebrows, your manager just nodded mouthing the words 'every time'. Filming was something neither of you expected, as your manager and director worked together to get everything right, going through the lyrics it started to make you realize things a lot more clear. You loved Sueng Hyun, more than best friends. Seung Hyun felt panicky, having to be so intimate with you was getting him flustered and it was all going on camera, for you to see later and see.
After you filmed a scene of Seung Hyun following you through an empty street in town, he took a moment to stop and breath, lighting a cigarette to calm his nerves, but there you were, looking at him with that adorable puppy look. "Are you okay?.." You asked softly, going to rest your hand on his arm but he just shrugged away, he couldn't help it, your touch was making him feel hot, like it was burning him, and he was now becoming very conscious of his t-shirt and all of the hate he used to get before he closed it all out. "I-Im sorry I-I just-" You stopped him from speaking, noticing his shaky hands and the tears falling from his eyes as he slowly slid down the brick wall trying to keep his breathing calm, but the panic attack was already settling in. You immediately kneeled next to him, slowly taking the cigarette from his hand, not wanting to see him accidentally burn himself, as you tried to sit next to him he tried to lift you up to your feet "T-T-that ground i-is disgusting" He whimpered, your heart broke a little bit, he was more worried about you sitting down he didn't realize he was sitting down himself "It is..so why don't..we go over there..and sit on that bench?" You asked, taking his hand in yours, still holding his cigarette in the other, guiding him slowly to the bench as he tried to calm himself down, feeling like an idiot for getting like this around you, but like the sweetheart you were, you still took care of him, not even knowing the reason why he was freaking out.
"Seung Hyun..." You called sweetly, cupping his cheek with your free hand "Honey..take a deep breath for me, what's going on?" You asked, Seung Hyun followed your instructions, not realizing he was holding your wrist gently, caressing his thumb over it. "If I ask something...Will you be honest, Y/n?" He asked shakily, his leg bouncing as he looked around, taking the hint you took the cigarette placing it to his lips gently "I don't want you to drop it..but of course" You whispered, you weren't concerned that you were acting more like a wife or girlfriend than friend currently, you were more concerned with making sure Seung Hyun was okay. "Is this..about us?..is that why you wanted me to be here so badly?" He asked, inhaling before exhaling, lifting your head up gently as he blew the smoke to the side so he wasn't getting it in your face. "When I'm with you..things feel different..like..stronger with you..I'm happier, sadder, angrier, everything when it comes to you" You explained sheepishly, going to pull your hand away from his cheek, but he stopped you, instead moving your hand to his lap to interlace your fingers as you spoke, the same thing he did anytime you'd get teary eyed opening up to him during your guys's filming for squid games "I-I didn't understand it..until I saw you again, and I felt like I never wanted you to leave like that again" You whispered looking away from him "I-It was hard..really hard..and barely being able to speak to each other, made it harder.." You whimpered, biting your lip to keep yourself from crying.
"Are you sure we're not just..close friends?" He asked, not wanting you to jump into something you didn't want, you didn't take it as that, you took it as he only saw you as that, close friends. "Y-Yea you're..you're right" You sniffled, taking a deep breath putting on your best show face to hide the plain hurt on your face "Ready to finish up?" You asked, Seung Hyun frowned, knowing he upset you, he just silently followed behind.
Whenever you finished up filming, you rushed towards your small makeup trailer, just needing a moment, Seung Hyun was stuck off to the side, frustrated with himself "Seung Hyun, yes?" Your manager asked approaching him "U-uh yes yes that's me" He confirmed, your manager sighed "Listen, I don't mean to make things..awkward..between you two, but in the ten years I've known that girl, she's never talked about another man or woman like she has you, Mr. Choi, she's one of your biggest fighters, even before she got back from that tv show filming. Meeting you gave her the drive and motivation to work and write again, she's produced an entire album! In a month! So whatever happened earlier between you two..You better not ruin my girl, she's special, not another one like her, until you make a comeback" He explained before nodding over to the trailer "Fix it. Not my broken mess, not my problem to fix" He demanded, Seung felt offended by that, this man seemed to care about you, and yet here he was calling you a broken mess? "Y/n is far from a broken mess, she's single handedly the most independent strong hard headed woman I've ever met, not to mention the most thoughtful selfless and beautiful! Any guy would be lucky to manage her! Or even have her in their life!" He shouted, your manager just kept an eyebrow cocked at him as he shouted, never noticing you slowly making your way out of the trailer "So why don't you tell her that!? Instead of messing with her head for months!?" Your manager shouted back "Because I'm not good enough for her! And because of who I am I never will be!" He shouted back, trying to control himself and not storm off, every bit of anger washing away whenever he was met with your terrified gaze, even when filming while screaming in your face, you never looked scared of him, but in this moment, you looked truly terrified.
Tears brimmed your eyes, hearing what both men said was like a knife stabbing you to the heart, you stormed past, not wanting to see either of them in the moment, heading back to your tour bus. Your chest hurt, it felt heavy but like it was hot at the same time, as soon as you got the bunks of your bus you let yourself cry for the first time since Seung Hyun first left, never noticing the bus door shutting and closing.
"Jagi" Seung Hyun whispered sadly, kneeling next to you as he tried to get him to look at you "Honey, You are not a hot mess" He whispered, you just glared at him "How could you say that about yourself? I opened up about my worst mistake..and you still think you're not good enough?" You whimpered "Y-You're crying because of what..I said about myself?" He asked confused, tilting his head as you shoved him slightly "Yes! I care about you! And it makes me sad hearing you think that" You argued shoving him again "I love you, you asshole! And you're too blind to see you're perfect!" You added on before realizing what you were saying, Seung Hyun's face changed as you spoke, you just glared at him, trying your best to cry anymore but his words just echoed in your head forcing you to lose your battle 'because of who I am I will never be good enough'.
"Jagi, please don't cry" Seung Hyun begged, cupping your cheeks, desperately wanting to see your smile like before, he tried his best to keep his mind from spiraling "I just...I care about you a lot, and it hurts so bad hearing you talk about yourself like that, Seung Hyun, you are good enough for anything you want to be good enough at, because of who you are" You corrected his statement from earlier, now it was his turn to get teary eyed, trying to ignore and hide it he just hugged you tightly "I love you" He whispered as he rested his head against yours, if it weren't for the hairdo they had you do for the last scene you would've never felt his tears "As a friend?.." You asked pulling away to look at him, using your thumbs to wipe his eyes and cheeks gently "I don't..I don't know..but I want to" He whispered, cupping your cheeks before kissing you softly, you happily kissing him back, running your hands through his hair as he gently bit your bottom lip before pulling away "So..does this mean.." You whispered, looking up to him hopefully "Maybe so..I don't know" He smirked, quoting part of the chorus of your song, you giggled blushing hiding your face in his chest.
--
Part three my lovelies?
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neptuneh0rn · 2 years ago
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morning reflections | fire lord!zuko x reader
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(gif not mine)
warnings: fluff, one kiss, tears (very brief), advisors being mean :(, fire lord zuko ;)
summary: trying to get zuko out of bed leads to unexpected confessions.
word count: 0.6k
A/N: this is a very short drabble that's been sitting in my drafts for way too long, so enjoy! English is not my first language, so I apologize for any grammar/ spelling mistakes. feedback is appreciated.
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“Honey, let go, we have a meeting with your advisors in 30 minutes.”
In answer, Zuko grumbled, tightening his arms around your waist and drawing you closer to his bare chest.
“Zuko,” you exclaimed, giggling, “we have to be there! You’re the fire lord, remember?”
“Exactly. I'm the fire lord, therefore I get to decide whether or not I attend the meeting,” he replied smugly, “and right now I’m deciding that I want to stay in bed with my beautiful wife.”
“Flattery isn't going to work, Zu. Don’t even try. Besides, your advisors have finally agreed to allow me to attend this one. I can't be late. That would hardly provide for a favourable first impression."
You had not been looking at Zuko's face when you said that, but you felt him stiffen at your words. All sense of playfulness eviscerates from the air.
"What," Zuko enunciates.
You shift your gaze back to his face, perplexed at his tone. "What?"
"What do you mean, 'my advisors are finally letting you attend this one'?"
"Oh," you replied sheepishly, "just forget I said that."
Zuko gave you a pointed look and sat up straight, resting on the headboard of the massive bed. You followed suit, suddenly taking an obstinate interest in his warm hands, fiddling with his fingers. He took one of his hands from yours and raised your chin with his index finger, urging you to make eye contact with him.
"You want to inform me," Zuko spoke softly, "or should I ask the advisors myself?"
"It's nothing," you started, "it's only that… every time I ask if I can attend the meetings, your advisors refuse. They tell me that these are not affairs that concern me."
Zuko always thought you didn't join meetings simply because you weren't interested in these affairs. His visage distorted into one of rage, and you felt compelled to calm him down, fearful of what he would do to his advisors.
"But it's truly not a problem! It makes no difference to me, honey. As a result, it should not concern you." You ran your hand along the nape of his neck, tenderly running your fingers along the hairs resting there.
"Why didn't you tell me? I could've handled it," Zuko inquired, his voice concerned.
"What would it look like if I came to you with all of my problems? I need to show your advisors that I'm capable of being the fire lady you deserve; that the fire nation deserves," You muttered solemnly. Your head bowed low as if you were ashamed to admit this.
Zuko's heart ached at your confession. How long had you been feeling like this? It's been a year since Zuko took you as his betrothed, and it angered him to just find out now.
"Sweetheart," Zuko started, taking your hand and placing a kiss on your knuckles, "you don't need to prove anything to anyone. You are already the fire lady that I deserve and that the fire nation needs. Your presence and input in these meetings are valuable to me, and I want you there by my side. I should have made that clear to my advisors from the start."
You looked up, tears forming in your eyes, "Really?"
"Of course," Zuko replied, wiping away a tear with his thumb, "I'll speak to my advisors and make sure that they understand your importance in these meetings."
You leaned in, pressing your lips to his, revelling in the softness of his lips. Zuko deepened the kiss, his arms wrapping around you tightly. You felt relieved that you no longer had to hide your frustration and disappointment about being excluded from important meetings.
"Thank you, Zuko," you whispered, "you always know how to make everything better."
Zuko chuckled, holding you close, "That's what I'm here for, my love."
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likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated♡
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clauscielo · 5 months ago
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✧ yearning
pairing: joel miller & reader, arthur morgan & reader.
warnings: angsty. self-conscious, touch starved men. age difference, slight nsfw for joel.
requests are open!
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joel looked at himself over and over again in the mirror. it had been so long since he'd cared about his appearance… last time he'd worried about looking good was in his teens. he would've laughed if someone had told him a few years ago that he'd be worrying about this again.
but here he was. looking at himself with contempt. his wrinkles, his gray hairs… the bags under his eyes, his teeth, his skin marred by sun and survival. and when, somehow, he finally managed to find himself..., not necessarily attractive, but halfway acceptable, he'd then look at you and his whole world would fall apart.
you were beautiful.
no matter how hard he looked at you, he couldn't find a single flaw. in some conversations you had mentioned some insecurities you had, but he was unable to understand them. you were just perfect.
“are you okay? you were taking so long,” you said, concerned. and he just stared at you, pained, analyzing every detail of your face, comparing it to his own.
“i'm fine. let's go,” he replied with a heavy sigh. his voice quivered slightly, perhaps from the effort he made carrying his backpack, or from something else.
he had long ago realized his feelings for you. normally he wouldn't care about feeling something for someone, attraction, or whatever. but this was different. he wanted you, deeply. he drooled over you. every night, he closed his eyes, imagining how your bare body would look, how your bare breasts would be, how it would feel to be inside of you. god, he hated himself for it, but he loved to fantasize about you before he went to sleep, the image of you being the last thing on his mind before he drifted off to sleep, sometimes even conjuring up dreams that were exquisite to him.
but when morning came, he could hardly look you in the eye. he felt disgusted, ashamed. you trusted him, and joel felt as if he was betraying you, with all these thoughts of his.
you were too young for him. you were too naïve for things to work out between you two. you were… too good for him.
and yet, he still allowed himself the luxury of watching you sleep when you rested next to him some nights, leaning against his shoulder, your lips half-open, soft little snores escaping from them. he loved you. he really did.
“you get some rest,” he whispered, stirring on the couch, a little restless. the scent of your hair flooded his nostrils, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back. he wasn't sure he could take much more of this.
“joel…” you snuggled a little more against him. “take me to bed…?” you whispered, half asleep, if not completely asleep.
“ah… sure,” he murmured. he carried you in his arms and gently, laid you on your bed. you opened your eyes a little and as he looked at you, he felt like kneeling before you and begging your forgiveness, for all the things he craved with you, for being so nasty and for never being enough.
“don't go,” you asked, your voice low. and he nodded, his gaze low with guilt.
“i won't, baby,” joel said, his voice barely a whisper, “i won't.”
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you hated washing dishes. you preferred anything to this. you didn't know why, but it disgusted you terribly. the remains of breakfast mixing with the remains of lunch and dinner under water and soap... and when you touched some lump of unknown origin without wanting to, you panicked. was there anything worse than this?
being in a gunfight, maybe. you weren't so sure either.
whenever it was your turn to do the dishes, you procrastinated longer than it actually took you to clean them. you'd spend a whole hour whining, dreading the moment you'd have to face such a horrible, excruciating task. and then it would only take you fifteen minutes to get it done. it was the same thing, every time.
so arthur, whenever he got the chance, helped you. almost every time, he stood in for you, he cleaned up while you stood by his side, chattering about whatever nonsense, his gaze lost in your smile, his mind in the sound of your voice.
and of course, every time he got you off the dishes, you were so effusive with your words and gestures of gratitude.
“i sure do ‘ppreciate this, arthur. thank ya kindly,” you sighed, stroking his arm and squeezing it a little. he relaxed under your touch, a goofy grin creeping across his face, his cheeks warming.
he felt like a complete idiot. a young lady as pretty, as cheerful, as deep and intelligent as you, with a bitter simpleton like him? it was ridiculous. it would never happen.
his smile faded as he stared at the dishes he was washing. his chest ached at the thought that he could never be honest with you, could never touch you, hold you, whisper the words of love he thought every time he looked at you. he was disgusted with himself for being so attracted to someone like you. what the hell was he thinking?
arthur would do anything to make you happy. and it might seem stupid, but seeing you so relieved and grateful for something he did, even if it was as silly as washing the dishes, made him feel... important. important to you. and he loved it when you stayed by his side while he did it, telling him your stories, your thoughts.
he just wanted you to love him. and he liked to fantasize that you did, every time you touched him, every time you smiled at him, every time you got close to him because you wanted to and not because you had to.
“thank ya so much, arthur. you're the best,” you told him, with a coy smile, watching him dry his hands after he had washed each and every one of the dishes. he smiled sadly. he didn't want this brief moment with you to end.
“thank ya? the hell ya mean? that’ll be five dollars,” he replied, jokingly. you laughed.
“how ‘bout one little kiss? that enough for ya?” you asked.
he turned red and stammered, surprised by your answer.
“and what good would a kiss from you do me?” he replied, defensively, flustered. but when he saw your smile fade, morphing into an expression of embarrassment, he regretted it. “i’m sorry. didn’t mean it like that. just caught me off guard,” he muttered.
you giggled, stood on tiptoe, and planted a sweet kiss on his cheek.
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bucks-babe · 10 months ago
Note
I’ve been here before lol. I just had to let you know, your virgin Bucky stories live rent free in my head. I hope one day to see him become… not a virgin 👀 if you feel like writing it of course ❤️
Pairing: Virgin!Bucky x f!reader
Warnings: fluff, smut, loss of virginity, slightly sub Bucky, soft!dom reader, riding, multiple orgasms (both), overstimulation, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (Don’t do that), copious amounts of cum, like so much, Bucky has a big dick, cumming untouched, cumming in boxers, ball riding (I know, there’s something wrong with me), crying during sex (Bucky this time, not reader lol), crying after sex, aftercare, Bucky is so sweet, taking care of Bucky, washing Bucky’s hair (This is a warning), my limited ass vocabulary (It’s a warning), actual brain rot, no use of Y/N, check tags at the bottom
Word Count: 3.6k
A/N: This has been in the works for so long but I took so damn long to finish it. I would have never guessed that so many of yall would be so invested in this story and Bucky’s journey. This is not the last you will see of these two, don’t worry. I think we should give them each a nickname. Leave a comment on what each of their names should be. Legit just had them call each other baby this entire fic. If I end up giving them nicknames, I’ll go back and put them in for all their stories. Anyway, enjoy!
As you slowly open your eyes, feeling the warmth and comfort of Bucky's embrace, a sense of safety washes over you. His strong arms are wrapped tightly around you. As you turn to face him, you see that Bucky is already awake, his deep blue eyes gazing at you with adoration and love. You can feel the rhythm of his breathing, steady and soothing against your skin. In this moment, nothing else matters except for the love and contentment you feel in each other's arms
"Good morning," he whispers, his voice husky with sleep. The sunlight filters through the window, casting a gentle glow upon his face, accentuating the lines of worry etched there.
With a small smile, you shift closer to him, reveling in the intimacy of the moment. "Good morning," you reply softly, tracing circles on his chest.
Bucky's fingers instinctively tighten around you, as if afraid to let go. "Last night... I didn't mean to let go like that" he admits shyly, his cheeks flushing a rosy hue. "I didn't know I was into that." Bucky felt embarrassed, not being used to letting go and having someone else take care of him. It was such a foreign feeling, yet he loved it, being able to trust someone completely, trusting you more than he does himself. Your heart swells at his vulnerability.
"Oh Bucky, it's okay. I liked it, I liked taking care of you. There's nothing to be ashamed about."
Bucky's eyes soften, relief flooding his features as he takes in your words. "You liked it?" he asks, his voice tinged with both surprise and hope.
A gentle nod escapes you, your fingers continuing their soothing motion on his chest. "Yes, Bucky. I enjoyed every moment of it," you reassure him, your voice filled with sincerity.
He exhales a breath he didn't realize he was holding, a weight lifting off his shoulders. "I've never let myself be vulnerable like that before," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm scared of losing control."
A tender smile graces your lips as you cup his cheek, caressing it with your thumb. "Bucky, being vulnerable doesn't mean losing control. It means trusting someone enough to let them in, to share yourself completely." Your words carry the weight of understanding and acceptance.
He gazes at you, his blue eyes reflecting a mixture of desire and hesitation. "I don't want to disappoint you, you know? You've been with experienced men before who knew how to pleasure you. I'm not sure if I can do the same for you." The poor thing was terrified of letting you down. He loves you so much, but what if he can’t please you? Would you leave him for someone better? How many people would even want to be with a man who knows almost nothing about pleasing a woman? 
Your hand reaches out to cup Bucky's cheek, your thumb brushing across his rough stubble. His skin is warm and soft under your touch. As you sit up, your hand still resting on Bucky's chest, feeling the faster beat of his heart under your palm. His skin is warm and smooth against your fingertips, a reassuring and comforting touch.
"Last night you gave me the most intense orgasm I've ever experienced with a man. Those other men? They think that one trick that worked on one woman will work on every woman. But you, my love? You listened to me and my body, which is more than most men can say."
Your voice softens as you look into Bucky's eyes, seeing the raw emotion and vulnerability that lies within them. "Bucky, I don't want to give you the impression that you're not enough. You were amazing last night, and I’m glad that you trust me enough to share that part of yourself."
His eyes soften, a look of gratitude and relief washing over him. He leans in to kiss your forehead, his hand brushing against your cheek, his thumb tracing the outline of your lips. "Thank you," he whispers, the words feeling like a heavy weight finally lifting off his shoulders. He takes a deep breath, and you can see a newfound confidence and determination in his eyes. "I want to learn, to be better for you. To make you feel the way you felt last night, every time."
A smile tug at the corner of your lips as you lean in to kiss him gently. "I believe in you, Bucky. And I know that you'll learn and grow, just like you did last night. And I’ll be right there to show you how." With a reassuring nod, Bucky pulls you into a deep and passionate kiss, his hands cradling your face. The warmth of his touch sends a shiver down your spine.
Slowly, he pulls away from the kiss, leaving behind a trail of electric energy on your lips. "I want to make love to you today," he whispers. "I want to give you everything I have, and show you just how much I care." Your heart swells with love for the man who would give you anything.
“Are you sure, Bucky? We don’t have to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. I’m perfectly fine waiting for you, however long it takes.” You cup his face, staring into his eyes, seeing determination yet anxiety in his eyes. He wants to do this, have you be his first and only, he’s sure of it.
“Yes. I want more, I want everything with you. Last night, making you feel good, it sparked something in me. I want to do it again. Fuck, you looked so sexy when you came.” Just at the thought of the taste of your pussy and the image of you writhing on the bed in pleasure makes his cock throb, filling with blood. The feel of your naked breasts pressed against him is doing nothing to stop it either.
“If you’re sure, baby, we will. You want to follow my lead or experiment by yourself?” The thought of you trusting him enough to let him do whatever he wants to your body makes him whine, bucking his hip into your bare core, the boxers doing little to hinder the feeling on his sensitive dick.
“Want to follow you, please.” As you take the covers of the pair of you, Bucky’s eyes go right to your tits, hands moving on their own accord to cup them. You’re proud that he was comfortable enough to touch you without hesitancy. 
You roll onto your back, Bucky following without a second thought, hands still on you, Bucky sits on his knees, admiring the view of your spread pussy. “I want you to finger me. You remember how, baby?” Of course Bucky remembers how, he remembers how much it made you moan and wiggle on the bed, how you were clenching on them when you came, how fucking tight you got. Bucky nods, right hand moving to your pussy. He needs to use his right hand, needs to feel how wet and tight you are. 
Thumb moving to your slit, he gathers the wetness that has been pooling there since you felt his hard cock through his boxers and drags it up to your clit, rubbing it just the way you taught him, the small gasp that leaves your lips lets him know he’s doing it right. His eyes can’t leave your pussy, memorized by the wetness leaving it. He trails his middle and ring finger down and slowly enters you, cock somehow getting even harder at your feel.
His metal hand comes down to rub your clit as his fingers speed up, wanting you to cum so fucking bad. “Just like that, baby. You’re doing so fucking well. Making me feel so good.” Bucky can feel his heavy balls pulling up, cum about to burst from his cock, hips thrusting in the air, meeting nothing. Heat creeps up his cheeks, he knows he’s going to cum before you without even touching anything. He wants so fucking bad to jerk his cock, coaxing his huge load out, but he can’t leave your pussy.
You clench tights around him, your orgasm building up as well. Bucky can’t handle it, the way your head hits the pillows, eyes closed in pleasure, moans getting higher in pitch. Within seconds, Bucky’s cock bursts, cum pouring from his tip, immediately soaking the front of his boxers, leaking down until it lands on the bed, his moans louder than yours. At the sound of his pleasure you cum, clit twitching under his fingers, waves upon waves passing through you. 
As you come down from your orgasm, you realize that Bucky is still cumming. “Baby, why won’t it stoppp, fuckk, please, feels so fucking good, shitt, please.”At his words the last of him cum dribbles out. The sight of his flushed cheeks and the soaking wet boxers almost makes you cum again. Sitting up, you push Bucky off the bed until he stands, taking off his underwear and pulling him back onto the bed, laying him down.
“You still want to do anything else, baby?” You desperately want to have his cock inside of you, have him cumming that much in your pussy, letting it leak out all over his balls down to the bed, but if he doesn’t want to go any further you’ll stop, no questions asked.
“Oh fuck yes! Want you to ride me please.” The whole of his sentence comes out as a moan, cock still sensitive and hard, ready for you to take it however you please. Straddling him, you grab him lining him up with your pussy. You look at him and at his nod, you start to sit on him. As soon as the tip breaches you, he cums, and he cums hard. “OH SHIT! FUCK, YES! FUCK I’M CUMMING!” He’s practically screaming, but he can’t find it in himself to care, the most intense orgasm of his life coursing through him. 
Hands flying to your hips, he pulls you all the way down, bucking into you with so much force you have to grab the headboard. “ OH FUCKING SHIT!  DON’T FUCKING STOP! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” It’s not like you could even if you tried, only option to take his assault, and fuck if it doesn’t feel amazing. Your moans almost match his in volume, pussy still trying to adjust to the size of him, balls slapping against your ass. After a few seconds, you already feel his cum being forced out of you to make room for his cock. His cum now all over both of your sexes, his balls, your ass, and the bed.
His orgasm lasts minutes, the amount of cum leaving his cock never slowing down, hips never stop slamming into yours. During his orgasm, you cum too, the sight was so hot you couldn’t help yourself. When your pussy was clenching around him so tight he somehow got louder. Eventually, he orgasm abated and his hips stopped, laying limb on the bed. 
Shame washed over him, at how much he lost himself to his orgasm, how rough he was with you. “I’m so sorry, baby. Please tell me you’re okay. Please tell me I didn’t hurt you.” 
“Fuck, Bucky, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.” Bucky’s eyes widen, not expecting you to be so turned on by his orgasm. His cock was still rock hard inside of you, giving you an idea. “What position do you want to do next?” Bucky almost cums again at those words, he knows what he wants, but is almost embarrassed to ask. However, his cock is thinking for him, washing away his inhibitions.
“Can you ride me?” You just smile and start to pick up your hips but he stops you. “From the back.” You throb at that. He wants to watch your ass bounce on him. 
You pull off, hissing at the empty feeling and turn around. You grab his cum soaked balls and you feel them twitch in your palm. Pulling them up you turn your head to Bucky. “Do me a favor and close your legs for me.” He doesn’t ask a single question and does so immediately. You let his balls fall on top of his legs and put his cock right back in, not waiting a second to start bouncing, grinding your clit on his slick balls at the end of every bounce.
“Oh, fuck. How does your ass move like that, shit. Looks so sexy.” His hands ghost over your cheeks, not knowing what to do with the sight in front of him.
“Smack my ass, baby.” He groans, and lays a light slap to your right cheek. “Harder, Bucky. Leave your mark on me.” His Oh shit is ignored as he slaps you a little harder, still not hard enough, cock pulsing at the sight of your ass bouncing, feeling it move under his hands. “Don’t be a little pussy, baby. Give it a slap like a fucking man.” Maybe it was a little mean, but you needed to feel his hand coming down on you. His near constant moans get louder, clearing enjoying the degradation. The next slap is hard. “Yes, little harder, baby. Fuck! Just like that, keep going. Don’t stop, want your handprints all week.”
He keeps going, smacking you harder each time. His balls rubbing on your clit pull up and he cums once again. This time, though, he pulls out, jerking his cock, cumming all over your ass. “Fucking shit! Wanted me to mark your fucking ass? Well I’m fucking doing it. Cumming so much. Maybe I’ll just stick my dick in your ass and cum in there too.” You don’t know where that came from, but it makes you ride his balls faster, ass jiggling as he continues to cum on it. “That’s so fucking hot, keeping moving that fat ass on me.” You really don’t know where his dirty mouth is coming from but you don’t care because holy hell is it hot.
 Seconds later, Bucky can’t take it anymore and shoves his cock back in your pussy, spreading his legs back out and planting them on the bed so he can fuck up into you. With your ass moving so much with his thrusts, his cum is going everywhere. Bucky lands a hard slap to your cheeks, smacking his cum into them, spreading it all around.
Just like before, he cums for minutes, cum flowing out of your pussy. The entire of both of your hips and your ass and the bed is completely drenched with his cum. When he’s done he pulls you off his cock and spins you around so you’re facing him again. “Baby, my cock is still so fucking hard, I don’t know what to do.” You coo at him, setting your hand against his cheek.
“Don’t worry, baby, I got you.” Instead of slipping his cock back into you, you grind against it, with every roll of your hips his sensitive tip rubs your clit. “Does this feel good, baby?”
“Uh huh, so good.” You see his adam's apple bob and his bottom lip wobble. The feral part of his brain that was fucking you earlier is gone, now your sweet boyfriend is left. He’s not even looking at the way his tip pops out between your folds, no, he’s staring right into your eyes. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you against him, every part of your body touching his in some way.
You rest your forehead against his and meet his gaze, tears spilling over and running down the sides of his face. You gently wipe them away but they keep coming. One of his hands goes in between your bodies pushing his cock back inside its home, your warm walls enveloping every inch, both of you gasping. Bucky can’t decide if he wants to keep going or stop, a twinge of pain biting its way up his cock, but you just feel too good. He can’t leave your pussy, needing to cum one last time. The slow grind of your hips never speeds up, gently fucking him, no, making love to him.
Bucky tries to kiss you but the pleasure you’re giving leaves him putty in your hands. The kiss is sloppy and wet, but one of the best kisses you’ve ever had, feeling the words neither of you can get out at the moment. The hairs at the base of his cock rub your clit, building up your final orgasm, Bucky not long behind, trying to hold out for you.
“You’re okay, baby. Want you to cum for me, not far behind.” Any restraint left in Bucky’s body disappears, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he cums for the last time.
“Fuckkk, baby, love you so much, please, I need you to cum for me. Need it so bad.” The slow roll of his tears before shifts to full on sobs, pleasure too much. You pull yourself off his cock, knowing that it’s now too much for him. “No, no, I need you to cum, please.” Your hand trails down your body, fingers rubbing your clit, the sight of you makes Bucky whine, and pull you down into a kiss, where you cum, moaning into his mouth. 
You roll the both of you over, placing Bucky’s head on your chest, lightly scratching his scalp, tracing shapes on his back with your other hand. When his tears subside, Bucky is the first to speak. “Thank you for taking care of me.” 
You feel a lump form in your throat. Of course you would always take care of him. There is nothing that you wouldn’t do for him. “I love you so much, Bucky. I could never hurt you, only want to give you the best in life. After all you’ve done for me, it’s the least I could do.” Bucky doesn’t say anything after that, not knowing what to say, not being used to such unbridled love. 
A few minutes pass before the amount of cum and sweat surrounding you gets uncomfortable. “Come on, baby, lets get cleaned up.” Bucky whines but complies anyway. “Get the shower started for me? I’ll change the bed.” He nods and heads to the shower. You work as fast as you can to get the sheets off and a fresh set on. Still naked you run to the washroom and throw the soiled sheets in the wash and start it before running back to the bathroom. 
Bucky is waiting outside of the shower for you, eyes still red from crying, almost shying away from you. Grabbing his hand you lead him into the hot water. “You did so good for me, Bucky. Made me feel incredible. You know, if that was your first time, I’m going to need help from the gods to handle you when you practice more.” That gets a small smile from him. “Don’t get all bashful on me, big man, after you rocked my world back there.”
“Stop it, baby.” His words hold no heat to them, secretly loving your complements. “You did too, rocked my world, you know? Didn’t know it could feel that good. There isn’t anyone else I would rather do that with.” He’s going to make you cry one of these days, saying all this sweet shit to you, and you know he means every single word of it.
“Yeah? How do you feel? Feel okay? I know that was a lot for you.” He dips his head down when you reach for his shampoo, letting you wash his hair, then grabbing the soap and lathering the wash cloth, running it along his body. At the feeling of your soft hands on his body, taking care of him after he gave himself over to you, Bucky can’t respond, too caught up in your love. “Bucky?” Your hands stop, fearing the worst at his silence.
“Feel so good, baby. I…” Bucky chokes up, tears resurfacing. He doesn’t know why he’s crying. You pull him to you, hugging him until he stops. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I just, you make me feel so safe, I can’t control myself, I just feel, you know?” You know because he makes you feel the same way.
“Yeah, I do, baby, I do.” 
“Can I wash you?” After you took care of him, Bucky wants to do the same for you, never wanting you to feel like he was using you. You nod and Bucky takes extra care to get all of his cum off of you, cleaning you up just like you did to him. By the time you’re done in the shower, the water’s cold. Bucky takes a towel and wraps you up first. Before he can reach for his, you take it and dry him off. 
“What do you want to do now? We can cuddle, get something to eat, watch a movie, whatever you want.” You know how important aftercare is, especially when Bucky was feeling so vulnerable after his first time. 
“Can we just cuddle?” He looks almost scared to ask you for such a simple gesture.
“Of course we can.” Taking your hand, Bucky leads you to the bed, foregoing clothes. You pull the blankets up and let him rest his head on your chest, listening to the beat of your heart and steady breathing. Not too long after you hear his light snoring and know he’s asleep, you following soon after in the arms of the love of your life, excited to experience all of Bucky’s firsts with him, seeing him grow, not only in experience, but also confidence.
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curseofaphrodite · 4 months ago
Text
Midnight Chase
REGULUS BLACK X READER
one more marauders fic before I move onto Avengers :) Also, I keep writing Reggie as moody and silent so I wanted to explore the headcanon of him being more like his brother. Have some flirty and sarcastic Regulus for a change!
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"Let's try to see this in a positive light," James said, in the middle of the pitch-dark forest which was possibly infested with dementors or worse. "We could think of this as camping!"
Your groan was in sync with Lily's.
"Right, Sirius? Didn't we always want to go camping—?"
"Oh I don't know, I'm not sure I find the death-eaters-made-us-dissapparate-to-an-unknown-forest-while-a-literal-war-is-going-on part all too pleasant!" Sirius replied, which was the closest to a disagreement he had with James. The latter feigned hurt.
"We're all tired," you sighed. "Let's just find a place to rest and we can go back to the headquarters in the morning."
"What if it's too late then?" Sirius said, almost nervous. His mood being depressive was very unlike his usual self, but you weren't too surprised either. The Order was the closest thing to a family Sirius had, and it seemed as if everyone's lives were hanging on by a thread.
"We'll be fine," James, ever the mother of the group, tried his cheerfulness again. "I'll pull up Hogly's tent charm and—"
"No!" Lily said quickly. "Are you stupid? Don't answer that. If we use magic, there's a good chance they'll trace us to where we are."
"But we're of age," Sirius said, outraged. "The Ministry wouldn't trace us — unless, yeah they're infiltrated. That makes sense."
"No magic?" James's mouth fell open. "At least we could use lumos?"
"No," you shook your head. "It's better not to take any chances."
"But then how would we see?"
Even in the darkness, you could feel Lily's gaze on the back of your head. Being two muggle-born witches of the group, you realized there was a lot you needed to do to survive the night.
"Bring me a couple of sticks. And dried leaves. Lots of them."
---------------------------------------------------------
THREE HOURS LATER
---------------------------------------------------------
Light snores came around you, but you were far from asleep. If your guess was right, it was over two in the morning, so the sun would be coming up soon anyway. It took everything in you to focus on the stars and not on the events that led you to apparate here.
Y/N! Get out of the way! Moody had yelled as the death eaters appeared. It was your first time seeing them in cloaks and lifeless masks. You felt exposed, but with the headquarters three feet away, you couldn't run in and let the death eaters follow you.
Moody's sound from the inside had already tipped them off, but they couldn't find the location of the safehouse as long as the charms held up.
Feet rooted to the spot, you felt ashamed to feel your hands shaking.
Can't even hold my wand right, you thought to yourself. And as if on point, your friends had gotten out of the house and placed themselves by your side. If you couldn't get in, they weren't going to let you get outnumbered on your own.
Sirius, Lily, and James were three of the bravest people you knew, but you couldn't let them get hurt on your behalf.
So you did what you should have done at the start. You held on to Lily's hand who grabbed James by instinct. Sirius was to your left, so you placed your other hand on his shoulder, and with every inch of your determination left, you disapparated on the spot.
Now with the same guilt washing over you, was it even a surprise that you couldn't sleep? You won't rest your eyes for five seconds before you let your friends get in the headquarters safely without any nasty surprises.
A soft rustle interrupted your dark thoughts. Being hyper-alert as you were, you snapped your neck towards the source. Another rustle rang out — this one sharper than the last. You stood up, cautiously walking to the root of the sound.
Bunny. Please let it be a soft, cute bunny.
You held your wand high, and someone — a human — let out a startled sound. More rustles followed, and before you could figure out what was happening, a person dashed off right in front of you.
"Hey, STOP!" Was it stupid to follow a stranger in the middle of nowhere simply because they appeared scared? Yes. Did you do it anyway? Also yes.
Both of you sprinted through the forest, the trees being a bare blur. They refused to slow down, so you kept up the chase. The adrenaline helped through most of it though the unknown silhouette was almost non-human in its speed. You pushed harder with your muscles burning, and finally, with a hopeless leap, you collided with the stranger.
They hit the ground hard, rolling over the damp earth. The impact knocked the wind from your lungs. Your fingers dug into the rough fabric and the stranger's hood fell back.
You gasped.
"Regulus?!"
He looked shocked to the core, either from your strength or from the fact you knew his name.
"How do you even know me?" he asked, his voice a whisper from all the gasping for air.
You pointed your wand at his throat.
"Well, you're a little unrecognizable without your mask."
His face drained what's remaining of the blood.
"I just wanted to — can you stop poking that thing inside my nose?"
"I'll poke it wherever I want, you traitorous little scrumbag!"
"I thought you were above that sort of thing."
"Why would you think I'm above name calling?"
"No, the poke it wherever you want part."
Your face reddened. "Shut up while I decide what to do with you."
He laughed. "I'm sorry, it's like you're not hearing yourself!"
Why the fuck is the usual depressed emo Regulus Black as happy as can be? Then again, it was the midnight in a deadly forest so he might have felt right at home.
"That's it, I'm charming your mouth shut." You pointed the wand even further, and he let out an ouch!
"I'm telling you again, get that thing out of my face before I sneeze all over it."
"Ewww," you stood up on instinct, and he used that moment to get his own wand and point at you.
A moment passed.
"You're so... crude," you said in distaste. "I thought you weren't supposed to be like your brother?"
"Something to do with genetics, I assume." He smiled warmly. "Now, I'm only going to say this once."
"Expelliarmus!" you shrieked.
Nothing happened.
He sighed. "I'm skilled in occulumency. I used a shielf charm the moment you said expel. Spells always have too many syllables, don't they?"
You lowered your wand in exasperation. He did the same.
"What do you want?"
"Didn't realize this land belonged to you."
"You could have disapparated the second you saw me. Why didn't you? Why are you here in the first place?"
"The Dark Lord sent me."
You tilted your head and thought for a second. "I highly doubt he'd send only one of his death eaters if he knew where we were, let alone the youngest and most inexperienced."
He gasped, just as dramatic as Sirius. "Are you saying I came here just to be pinned down by you?"
Yup, exactly like Sirius.
"Barty has pull in the Ministry," he went on under your shrewd glance. "I tracked down my brother."
"But we never did any magic here..."
"I've been tracking him since he left home."
You blinked in surprise. "You what?"
"Just to make sure he's alright. . . though I doubt you'd believe it."
A man in moonlight trying to explain his sins. You'd be a fool to believe his words. And even more stupid to ignore them altogether.
"What do you want?" you asked again.
"I was just checking in on my brother, as usual. And I saw someone stargazing. I recognized it was you."
"And?"
His gaze softened, then he immediately cleared his throat. "And I was wondering if you'd speak aloud like some damsels in distress do. I thought I could reply from the trees and surprise you like the skies have replied. But you didn't move, nor did you speak."
"Do you usually go to Elizabethan english when you lie, or is that a quirk?"
He laughed, though it appeared forced. "Trust me, I was just caught leaving."
"Why didn't you disapparate then?"
"Do you honestly think they'd only track the Order? I wasn't going to take any chances."
Regulus Black was... nice?
"Well, I'm not sure how much I trust your words," you said, face high. "Come back with me to see Sirius, and let him make something out of all of this."
"No." It's the first time he sounded serious through the entire conversation. "My brother hates me. He does. I don't want to talk to him."
"But—"
"Y/N." His voice was stern. "I have to go. Take care of my brother — just until I'm back, okay?"
"You'll be back?"
"I've to take care of something," he said, his hands unconsciously touching his locket. "But after that, I'd be back. The freest man in the continent, you'd say."
"I don't trust you."
"So you've said." He walked towards you, giving you a quick hug. It felt awkwardly sweet, as if he's giving a hug for the very first time. You froze, but before you could do anything, he already let go.
"Time's running short," he grinned. "Now, the real chase begins. Do start running."
"Wait, wha—"
But he had already gone, disappeared in the blink of an eye. How can he disapparate if he said he wasn't going to take any chances?
Oh shit.
You remembered how you broke the protection first when you tried to disarm him. How the expeliarmus might have made death eaters alert. Regulus Black had cleverly evaded the scene and you probably had seconds to warn others.
You disapparated on the spot to your makeshift tent, but not before looking at the spot Regulus Black had previously stood.
I'd be back.
You found yourself hoping that was a promise and not a possibility.
THE END
_________
commissions | kofi
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barcalover86 · 1 year ago
Text
Surgery- Gavi
Summary: showering after surgery
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You and Gavi have been together for 1 year now, but mostly of it was long distance.
Every since the moment he got injured, you stood by his side, spending most of your time together.
When his surgery successfully ended, he got home, being in a need of showering.
The doctor explained to him what he has to do, but he needed at least one person beside him to help him out a bit.
Since he was kinda ashamed to be naked in front of his parents because he wasn't a kid anymore, and his sister was out of discussion, he asked for your help.
You agreed to help him, but God knew how nervous you were.
You were afraid not to hurt him or do anything wrong, especially since you have no idea what you'll have to do.
And out of these thoughts, you two never, ever saw each other naked before.
Being a lot away from each other, you didn't have time for that kind of thing.
So you were a bit.. shy.
He, on the other hand, was more nervous than you.
First time being naked in front of his girlfriend.
He wasn't scared that you'd make fun of him because of his body cause he knew that you weren't the type of person to do that. He was just afraid that you won't like it.
You helped him go to the biggest bathroom so that you could have more space.
You put two chairs, because he had to sit all the time, and prepared the water.
He looks up into your eyes before putting his head on your shoulder.
Your hands went around his torso, trying to comfort the boy.
"It won't hurt, Gavi. I'll make sure that everything will be ok and you'll see that after you'll feel better."
He smiled and kissed your cheek before taking his shirt off.
Now, you didn't want to make him feel even more uncomfortable than he already was, so you tried not to show any facial expressions.
Only you knew how fast your heart was beating at that moment.
You helped him take off his shorts while he was looking into your eyes scared.
You tried to fasten the process of getting off his chlotes so that it wouldn't be that awkward, but you accidentally hurt his knee.
"Oh, I'm sorry, cariño."
He looked like he was about to cry.
"Why are you such in a hurry, y/n?"
You were surprised by his question.
You didn't know how and what to reply. He took all your words out of your head.
He sighed, looking down. You didn't know what to do. How could you tell him that you were so scared of this moment?
His injury didn't only hurt him, but everyone around him. At the same time, you knew that you had to take responsibility and be there for him. So you slowly got his chlotes off of him, while not saying any other words.
Everything was silent.
You tried not to look at him, but.. it was so, so hard. He was the most precious thing that you had ever seen.
Once again, you turned around, trying to find something that could occupy you.
He was just staying there, on a chair, naked, behind you, waiting peacefully for you.
You suddenly blushed. Man.. he was really yours. And God, he was sooo beautiful.
Pablo was looking at you when you turned to face him. His eyes were so lost.
You smiled at him.
"C'mon, pretty boy, let's shower you."
He smiled at the nickname you used.
Pretty boy.
Once you put him in the bathtub, you started the water.
He then took your hand in his while putting his head on your shoulder.
While you were helping him clean, he looked so concerned, and when you asked him about it, his answer surprised you.
"Do you think I will be able to play football again?"
"Yes, of course, you will!"
He sighed.
"I mean at that level."
You then looked into his eyes.
"You are so talented. You work hard for whatever you want, and this won't be different. It might be a bit difficult, but you are not alone."
He listened carefully and nodded.
"I won't disappoint you, y/n."
"I know you won't," you said while kissing his forehead.
After he was done showering, you helped him stand up.
You didn't know how to put the bandage back on, so you stared a bit too much at his naked body, and he started to get really shy.
When you wanted to ask him how this goes back on his knee, you saw his uncomfortable face.
"What's wrong?"
His face got suddenly red. The boy was embarrassed.
"Does it hurt?"
"To see you stare so focus, yes."
"What-" but then you realised. You've been staring at his body for a while now.
"Oh, no, no, don't think that."
Pablo got really emotional, by your surprise , tearing up.
"Don't cryy".
You hugged him.
"You are so beautiful, Pablo. Don't ever doubt that."
You then kissed his lips slowly, and he smiled, wanting more. You laughed a bit.
"Let's get you change ok?"
After you got to his room and helped him to the bed, you went to the bathroom to make him a snack. When you came back, he was desperate for your touch.
"I hope you'll like it," you said, putting the food next to him while he was hugging you.
He then kissed your lips, thanking you.
After he ate, he was about to fall asleep when an idea came into his mind.
"Do you want to shower with me in the morning? Together. "
You were so unready for his question.
It was awkward to see him naked in front of you, but it would be even more embarrassing for you to be naked in front of him.
"Hm?" he asked once again.
"Ok.."
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honey-on-your-tongue · 5 months ago
Text
FWB
Part one
Logan Howlett x fem!reader
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You first met Logan when he showed up at the X mansion, angry and distant and cold. You shrugged it off, every mutant had their own story and you respected that.
You could tell he was afraid to open up at first, particularly around you because you were always so curious about his ability. It fascinated you that he could heal just like that.
You could mend tissue or tear it apart on your body or anyone else's, and it took an extraordinary amount of energy. His body did it automatically and in a matter of seconds.
He didn't appreciate your enthusiasm. But eventually, you two warmed up to one another. And you might've even considered each other friends.
It started because...well...Logan is a complicated man. Very complicated. He's very picky about who he lets get close to him, and even then he remains reserved.
But Jean had been in his heart since day one. You never knew why, he refused to talk about her to anyone.
And then she died. And then she wasn't dead. And then he had to kill her.
He wasn't okay for a long while. He didn't even hit on every pretty woman he saw, as was usual.
And one day he just...snapped.
-
Logan's pent up. Jean's death is a weight on his shoulders he can't shake. And because of that, he can't focus. So he isn't working well, he isn't functioning. So his solution is to jack off, let go of some steam. But it doesn't work. He can't come on his own, no matter how hard he tries. No matter what porn he watches.
Then this one time, this funny thing happened? He was jerking off in his room—trying to, at least—and he heard your voice. You were walking down the hall, talking to someone.
“...so good,” you were saying, probably to a student about how they'd done in an exam.
For some reason, he imagined you on all fours on the bed, back arched, hands holding onto the bed sheets for life as he pounded you from behind.
He could imagine your voice crying out, “So good! So good!”
And suddenly—
His cock twitched, a groan left his lips and before he knew what was happening, he was coming all over himself. Thick spurts of his load spilled onto his hand, dripped down his cock, sticky and warm.
He gasped for breath, unable to understand what had just happened. So quick, so easy. And all because he just imagined you...
He shakes his head. That's wrong. You're his friend. You two work together and he doesn't wanna fuck that up.
So he pushes the thought away and pretends it never happened.
But later that day, when he runs into you in the kitchen, he's embarrassed, ashamed, maybe even a little guilty. You don't seem to notice as you just greet him and go about whatever you were doing.
He can't keep his eyes off you, can't look away. And the next thing he knows, you're bending over to grab a plate from one of the lower kitchen drawers and his cock springs to attention.
He clenches his jaw as he feels himself hardening, his mind already conjuring up images of you bent over his bed, that pretty ass of yours bouncing as he fucks you from behind. Your pussy all wet and spread out for him. Your hands grabbing onto the bed sheets like your life depends on it...
“Lo?” you ask, and he's snapped out of his thoughts.
“Hm?” he grunts, trying as discreetly as he can to take a step towards the counter and hide his growing erection from you.
“I asked if you want anything? I'm gonna go to the store, buy some ice cream for some of the kids.”
A few condoms and lube would work, he thinks to himself. Before remembering you can hear other people's thoughts when it's something they mean to say but don't.
You raise your eyebrows. “Oh. Um. Okay.” You nod, pretty cheeks blushing slightly. “I'll...Yeah. Alright. Any...particular ones?”
He feels like crawling into a hole and dying, but it's too late now. “No,” he replies, shaking his head. “Just...I need some extra large ones, though.”
Your blush deepens and you glance away, clearing your throat. “Right. Okay. I'll...be back soon.”
He nods curtly and watches you walk away. Once you're out of sight, he grabs his head in his hands.
“Fuckin' idiot,” he murmurs, his appetite lost, and he turns around to go back to his room.
The thing is, his cock is still hard and it's getting extremely uncomfortable. And he's leaking precum onto his pants.
He groans as he closes the door, in too much of a hurry as he kicks his pants off, his cock hard, the tip a dark red.
He lays down on his bed, spits on his hand. He fists his cock and jerks it a few times slowly, before closing his eyes and imagining some girl's pussy.
But it doesn't work. Fuck, it doesn't work. He thinks of all the random women he's fucked, all his hookups, and nothing. Absolutely nothing. His cock is still hard, his hand is getting tired.
And then you pop into his head. Cute eyes, soft lips, that gorgeous body.
He knows it's wrong, but he just can't help it. So, he jerks off to the thought of you. Those pretty lips around his cock, your hands holding onto his arms as he fucks you hard. Your face all scrunched up in pleasure...
He doesn't realize he's moaning your name, gasping and groaning like a fucking dog until the door swings open.
“You called? I was just about to leave—”
His eyes snap open, his hand on his cock freezes. He glances at the door and meets your gaze just before your eyes fall on his cock.
“Oh,” you say, voice trembling a little. “'m sorry, I...I thought...I could've sworn you said my name—I mean, I thought you were calling me...”
“I was,” he says stupidly, breathless, too stunned to even cover himself up.
You swallow thickly, eyes darting nervously around the room. When your gaze meets his, he thinks, for what it's worth, I was thinking of you.
Your eyes widen and you blush even more, a strangled, nervous sound leaving your mouth. “I-I gotta go to the store. The kids are waiting for their ice cream. Um...Bye,” you stutter out and leave, shutting the door after yourself.
He lays back on his bed, covering his face with one hand. “Fuck,” he groans. Now he's going to have to talk to you and that can't possibly end well.
---
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north-noire · 1 year ago
Text
What are you going to eat for dinner, dad?
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Drew this prompt between Henry and Charlie, with a bonus drabble! Think of it as a writing exercise for the AU itself (plus, I just found the prompt really lovely). I'm also trying to experiment with my art a little more!
Anyway, the full pentadrabble/writing I made for this prompt is under the cut!
--- Henry could hear Charlie talking behind him, her voice sounding curious. "What are you going to eat for dinner, dad?"
"Since winter is coming up again actually, I made your favorite soup." Henry replied warmly. He softly smiled as he stirred the ladle within the pot of soup he was cooking. He chuckled at the thought of her enjoying her favorite stew once again. It was the familiar feeling of fuzziness that came with nostalgia. He could still vaguely remember the times where Charlie came home from school feeling exhausted and drained from dealing with the day, only for her to perk up when she recognized the dinner Henry set on the table.
It felt warm and tender, like the soup he was making for her.
It didn't take long until Henry finally took a light taste of the soup he was making. He made sure it tasted just like how it used to be. He could still taste the familiar warm saltiness of the soup, and that was enough for him. He was sure that Charlie would like it too.
As he turned off the stove, he was already grabbing two plates near him to put them at the dinner table. "Well, dinner's ready."
Charlie chuckled in reply, but there was clearly a hint of sadness in her voice. "I really wish I could eat with you too, dad."
"W-what are you talking about, it's your fav--"
Then the realization hit Henry.
The reminder that she was just a soul confined within the Marionette felt so sudden, when Henry could've sworn that he was talking to Charlie - back to the person he used to know. Henry hated that he could still imagine Charlie herself just from her voice.
Charlie sounded distraught as she spoke to Henry again, almost ashamed with what she had said. "S-sorry, I appreciate that you made this all for me and everything, it's just that--"
"It's alright, Charlie, you shouldn't apologize," Henry assured her, trying to avoid showing any devastation in his tone. It hurt him to get reminded that she wasn't a person anymore, but at most, he appreciated the gentle reminder from her, even if it hurt to fully accept it all deep down.
As much as he'd rather see his own daughter's form rather than the Marionette itself, the last thing he wanted was for Charlie to feel bad for what had happened to her.
At the end of the day, she was still his daughter, and he loved her all the same.
As he put back one of the plates he was holding back in the cupboard, he hastily sat down on the table beside his daughter. He looked at Charlie and put a hand on her shoulder.
Henry tried to smile at her. "How about we go do something after this? Something we can do together."
Charlie's expression softened. "…yes. I'd love that."
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neptuneiris · 1 year ago
Text
Behind the Scenes (04/05)
Behind the Acceptance
pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader
summary: there are new changes for you and Aemond, he wants to rectify himself for past mistakes and you get used to your new life with the father of your son present.
word counter: 10.2K (consider it as a christmas gift, love you all❤)
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I'M SO SORRY!
i know the wait has been too much and you don't know how sorry i am. i experienced stress during my last week of uni before leaving for vacation and i got a new job, which consumes my time and i couldn't edit or do any writing, but i managed to find small times to write and that's why it's taken me so long. i appreciate your understanding, really🥺
I would like to wish you all merry christmas and a happy new year, my best wishes to all of you and also to your families, have a great time and God bless you all beautiful people, you are amazing and truly thank you for so much🥰
now yes, enjoy!
warnings: aemond dad melting our hearts and that's it:)
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When Aemond told you to please go back to work and stop running away so that the two of you could face all this together, you didn't quite understand what he meant by 'go back to work'.
However, the next morning after waking up and starting to prepare breakfast for Aenar, you received an unexpected call that answered your question.
It's an unknown number so you accept the call with some caution.
"Y/N speaking? This is Michelle Watson, from the Warner Bros studio production department," she says and your heart jumps.
"Hello?"
You speak on the other end of the line, holding your phone to your ear.
It's HBO, who Aemond is working with right now and where you left your job thrown after unexpectedly meeting him again.
Nerves soon set in and you hold your breath, already feeling ashamed for leaving the shooting set like that without saying anything to anyone and creating a complete circus the moment Aemond called your name in the trailer in front of everyone.
"Yes, she speaks," you reply nervously.
"We want to inform you that despite what has happened, we understand it and the circumstances that led you to leave unexpectedly during your working hours," she tells you in a soft and formal voice, "And we will expect you tomorrow without any problem to resume work."
You frown completely, hesitate a little and blink several times in disbelief, not quite understanding.
"I'm sorry… what do you mean by resuming work?" you ask, barely able to contain your own surprise and disbelief.
"Some conversations took place," she explains, "Mr. Targaryen was quite insistent on convincing the production team to reconsider your situation. He advocated on your behalf, explained the circumstances and your entire track record as an excellent professional makeup artist so that you could continue to work with us."
With your lips parted and your eyes wide open, you are speechless for a moment, staring at a spot in your living room with your heart pounding, definitely not expecting to hear any of this after everything that has happened on this day.
You didn't even expect Aemond to decide to do this for you after everything that happened with him and Criston.
And just when you were starting to worry about how you were going to pay the rent for this apartment and even started to make a schedule in your mind to go get a job somewhere else tomorrow or even today.
"So if there's no problem and everything is fine with you, we'll expect you tomorrow at 7:00 A.M."
Completely speechless.
You can't even control your own heart rate.
But in spite of that, you can't help but feel a huge relief run through your entire body, where you still feel overwhelmed by the generosity and gesture of trust they are offering you, but you definitely feel completely relieved and grateful.
"Yes, yes, of course," you hasten to say, trying to control your emotions, "I'll be there. Thank you so much."
They give you a few more details, you ask few more questions and finally end the call, which leaves you with mixed emotions as you silently contemplate that you still have this new possibility of a better life for you and Aenar.
But you also think about Aemond.
And you will also wait to see how Aemond's integration into your son's little life will be now.
You really appreciate this gesture, you know that only he can do something like this with his influence and connections.
And in fact it gives you the confidence that he will keep his word that no one else will interfere in your and Aenar's life, only the two of you will make the decisions.
Arriving at the recording set, you leave Aenar in the nursery and then you enter the corridors of the whole big production, which is buzzing with its usual atmosphere with its twinkling lights, technical equipment with the huge cameras, microphones and all the sets ready.
You honestly feel nervous knowing that tomorrow you and Aemond will be working in the same place again, like in the old days.
But that's why you try to be as prepared as possible and you won't let all kinds of personal matters interfere with your work.
And once you arrive, you take a moment, take a deep breath and push open the door, where that familiar atmosphere once again envelops you.
You don't even know why but your heart is pounding as you walk down the halls and every step leads you to your area, the makeup and wardrobe trailer.
You assume it's out of shame after what happened yesterday.
Unfortunately your entrance doesn't go unnoticed and as you close the door behind you as you walk just a little into the trailer, some curious faces turn to see you, including Jess, who stops her usual routine and rushes over to you, her eyes wide with surprise.
You hug her back gently, feeling relieved and less tense by the warm welcome from Jess who, even though the two of you don't know each other very well, she actually seems like a very nice person and her personality shows you that.
"Ah Y/N, what a relief to see you again!"
She exclaims with her tone full of joy.
"God, I thought you wouldn't come back," she says as she hugs you excitedly, providing you with some comfort.
"I'm so sorry about yesterday," you say with a regretful gesture and you both break the hug, "I shouldn't have left like that and you don't know how embarrassed I feel. I'm really sorry."
"Oh no, don't worry about it," she assures you instantly, making a nonchalant gesture, "That's all in the past. The important thing is that you're back and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it," she comforts you with a small smile, "We have a lot of work to do today and we need to get you up to speed right away."
Jess, full of energy, ushers you further into the trailer while you greet your other co-workers. Then she explains the day's itinerary precisely, pointing out schedules, wardrobe changes and other important details.
All the while you nod, thanking her for her guidance and trying to keep up. In the midst of all the preparations, the huge door opens again and Aemond is now the one who makes his presence known.
Your gaze meets his and you see the obvious and unexpected surprise in his eyes at seeing you again, but there's not much reaction from either of you as instantly the makeup artists call him over and guide him to start prepping him for today's filming scenes.
And Jess also takes your arm, guiding you to the back of the trailer where the dressing rooms are located explaining what you will be doing, forcing you to look away from him.
And you can only feel Aemond's gaze on you until he loses sight of you.
Jess continues to explain to you, but you can't help but think and wonder certain things, like if everyone here, even Jess, knows about you and Aemond... what you once were and that you have a child together.
The behavior of both of you yesterday was very obvious, that's what you would think if you were an expectant one, so surely there must be some speculation.
And at that moment you remind yourself that your priority right now is your work and that the personal should be kept out of your work environment, so you shouldn't even think about it.
Finally you focus on following Jess's directions, putting aside distractions and preparing for the day.
Jess leaves you alone to take care of her own work and you start with yours, where you spend about an hour still in the back of the trailer, where you check and prepare the costumes that already have to be ready for the scenes that will be filmed soon.
When in the middle of everything, you hear some footsteps approaching behind you and thinking it must be one of the other actors or one of your co-workers, you turn around and the first thing you notice is that silver hair.
Aemond enters this section of the trailer a little unsure, without saying anything, while you also watch him without saying anything.
He is ready to record his scenes with that scar on the left side of his face that his character has and he only lacks the costume.
Until finally he speaks first.
You knew that having a conversation with him again would happen soon, so you're not surprised.
But for a moment there is a tense silence and a slight nervousness and insecurity on the part of both of them, where a clash of emotions is reflected in each other's gazes.
"Hey," he says in a soft, low voice, taking a couple of steps towards you.
You try to smile a little in his direction, not knowing exactly what to say or what to do.
"Hey," you wave back.
There is an awkward pause before Aemond again takes the initiative, taking a few cautious and slow steps towards you.
You bite your lips and lower your gaze for a moment, as he puts a hand to the back of his neck and looks so insecure and nervous standing there, surprising you a bit, as that behavior in him is unusual.
He usually always has that confident attitude in everything he says and does.
"I'm glad you're back," he admits to you, his low tone full of sincerity, "It's good to see you around again."
His words and that friendly gesture take you a bit by surprise, and although you still feel overwhelmed by the unexpected situation, you appreciate the way he is leading in handling all of this to start working together for Aenar's well-being, leaving past tensions behind.
"Thank you," you reply, feeling that sense of relief in your chest again, "Oh, hum… and thank you for talking to production so I could come back," you say a little shyly but gratefully, "You didn't have to."
He lets out a scoff in a nonchalant and also absurd gesture, frowning slightly his nose and forehead.
"Please, it was the least I could do," he tells you softly and with a warm tone, "Besides, it was nothing. I was just afraid you'd decide not to come back."
You hum in understanding.
"I thought about that," you confess to him, lowering your gaze for a moment, "But things were going to be easier for both of us with Aenar if I came back here," you explain, "Still, it was a very kind gesture of you."
Aemond nods, his gaze conveying a mixture of emotions that reflect both relief to see you back here, understanding, and also regret for the past that still haunts him. But he doesn't let those thoughts invade him too much at that moment.
Again there is silence in between for a few seconds, when he speaks again.
"How is Aenar?" he asks in a voice charged with a mixture of happiness, nostalgia and longing for his son.
"He's fine," you say in a soft voice, "He's in the studio nursery. Mary takes very good care of him," you add, wanting to reassure him that his son is being properly cared for.
He nods slowly, humming in response, trying to hide the intensity of his emotions in his gaze.
"That's good, I'm glad to hear that," he replies, vulnerability in his tone and gaze.
The air between the two of you still lingers, charged with emotions that neither of you dares to express openly. However, taking advantage of the conversation, Aemond decides to propose something.
He just met him yesterday and can't wait to see him again, to be in his company.
Yesterday's hours were simply not enough. And knowing that his son is well brings him relief and a feeling he hasn't experienced before since he found out he is a father.
"If you want, I can pay for a trusted babysitter for him," he offers and this gets your full attention, "I'm just saying… so you don't always have to bring him with you to work," he says with a hesitation, his tone betraying his insecurity about his proposal.
You remain silent for a moment, not knowing what exactly to say, in fact processing the unexpected offer. And Aemond can't help but feel even more unnerved by your silence.
"I-I… I don't know," you murmur, hesitant.
This nursery in the set is at least in the same place as you and that gives you relief that whatever happens, you can rush to him right away.
The idea of a babysitter strikes you as a mixture of relief and concern.
In the morning you'd have more time getting ready to come to work and it wouldn't be as much of a burden on you, yet you've never left someone to take care of Aenar while you're away.
But leaving him at home and coming all the way here to work, that causes you hesitation, besides the fact that you have to know the person who will take care of your child perfectly, as well as have confidence in her, above all.
"Only if that makes you feel more comfortable," Aemond adds softly, "But if that's not what you want, that's fine."
You bite your lips, feeling uneasy at the thought of someone else caring for your son and having him away when you're working.
"And you know someone who might be trustworthy?" you ask attentively and still with hesitation in your gaze.
"Yes," he tells you immediately, softly, "Rhaenyra has an army of babysitters to take care of my younger nephews. I can ask her for help with that and I know she'll say yes," he assures you.
"And they are professional babysitters?"
"Yeah, yeah, Nyra is also very careful with the selection and the babysitters she has hired have years of experience and so far several of them have worked with her for a few years now."
And after a moment's reflection, you agree.
And as convincing as the information is, still a mixture of worry and resignation envelopes your body.
But you knew that sooner or later you would have to face the situation of balancing your job with the responsibility of caring for your little one, accepting the idea that you won't always be able to have him with you.
"All right," you nod to him, "But I'd like to do some interviews first."
"Yeah, of course. I'll take care of that, don't worry," he says softly, nodding to you and you nod back.
"Thank you, Aemond."
"You don't have to thank me, Y/N, it's for our son. And if he or you need anything, please just let me know."
Seeing Aemond so willing to be a present father and his desire to be involved in his son's life, to some extent relieves you and surprises you a little, clearly because of what happened at first when you found out you were pregnant.
But so far… he has really shown you that he wants to be present and without having Criston and all his team around anymore.
The slight tension in the air is felt again as you and he continue to navigate the terrain of this new dynamic, which feels a little weird and you feel very nervous, though you don't even know why, while he at all times seems unsure.
And in an attempt to diffuse the tension, now you're the one who speaks first.
"Okay," you nod, "And if you…" you try to say a little nervously and with some caution and insecurity, "If you want to go see Aenar at the nursery or even at the apartment, you can," you assure him with a soft tone, "I never said you couldn't visit him and I don't plan to take that right away from you."
Vulnerability is reflected both in your words and in Aemond's expression, who with his soft face and with his gaze full of various emotions, places a small gentle smile on his lips.
"I'd love that."
Your words mean more to him than you probably realize. That sincere gesture of openness on your part, Aemond deeply appreciates.
Just as he appreciates that the conversation has reached a level of understanding and cooperation that neither of you had anticipated, but that you definitely appreciate. It doesn't end there yet, though.
"Can I ask you something?"
You nod, with no problem.
"Sure."
"What will you be leaving work on when your shift is over with Aenar?" he tells you interested and attentive.
"Um… well, yesterday I took the bus," you explain, considering that just yesterday was supposedly your first day, "And I had already planned that if I finished late, I'd take an Uber. Like now in the morning I was running a little late and took an Uber," you reply, trying to explain your transportation routine.
In fact there is nothing wrong with moving this way, many people do it, besides you don't have many options.
But that's what Aemond doesn't want, he wants to make your life a little easier, especially since Aenar lives with you and he doesn't want to risk something bad happening to both of you one day with public transport.
"Well, if you want, I can take the two of you," he also offers without hesitation, "Or if it seems too much, I can ask my driver to pick you up and take you wherever you need to go, without problem," he assures you, "I just don't want you to move that way with Aenar or by yourself."
This new unexpected offer from Aemond also surprises you, that you even think about turning him down, telling him it's not necessary.
Mostly you see it from Aenar's safety side.
But his concern is genuine and also you know that then moving you will start to be a problem.
You know you can't afford Uber every day, the fares aren't exactly cheap and there are other needs you have to take care of, besides taking the bus late could be dangerous.
"Well…" you look at him hesitantly and a little embarrassed, "You won't have a problem with that?"
"No, of course not," he answers you instantly.
You nod in his direction, grateful for his consideration.
"Yes, it's fine and seriously thank you for this too," you can't help but say, "Sometimes transport is complicated."
"Don't worry, it's fine."
He is about to say something else when a third voice interrupts him, entering the same space as you.
"Yeah, I know, sorry, I'm already on it," he assures her instantly.
"Aemond, are you ready now?"
Enters one of your co-workers, watching him intently and instantly with concern at the sight of him still in his civilian clothes.
"For God's sake, why aren't you dressed yet? Your scene is going to shoot in less than fifteen minutes!"
"I'll be back in ten minutes. Hurry up, please," the worried girl says and hurries away.
You instantly at that moment decide that the two of you can talk later and hand him his clothes from the scene he'll be shooting soon and he thanks you, heading for one of the small dressing rooms quickly.
When he finishes putting on his clothes, you quickly help him look perfect for filming the scene.
"I'll be seeing you," he tells you before leaving and you nod.
"Sure."
And from that moment on, over the next few days, everything changes as much for Aemond as it does for you.
He kept his word to drive you and Aenar back home every time your shift ended. And if he was still filming scenes, he would send his driver to take you instead of him, also to bring you in the mornings.
The relationship is cordial and collaborative and while there is no romantic reconciliation involved, there is a determination to build a more stable and secure future for Aenar, as well as prioritizing his well-being above all else.
At work, too, the dynamic between the two of you changes completely. Communication is professional, as it should be, but in every interaction there is a complicity that seems to have evolved.
There is a quiet understanding, a new focus on cooperation and mutual respect that is taking shape.
Also Aemond kept his word to hire a fully trusted babysitter and while he took care of that, sometimes you found him in the nursery with Aenar, keeping him company and playing with him.
At first this caused you some noise and also confusion, since Aemond is under the public eye spending quality time with his son and doesn't bother to hide it, so you wondered if already everyone working here, also Aemond's co-workers, knows that he has a son with you.
Again that sight couldn't help but make you smile with a certain nostalgic look, watching the interaction of those two silver-haired heads in their own world.
But it made you feel happy to see your little boy laughing and playing with his father.
And if so, you doubt that it will come out soon, because working in this production of whatever position, there is a confidentiality contract for everything, even for the personal life of the actors.
But when the shooting of this show is over, everyone is probably going to know about it. Although it seems that Aemond doesn't even think about it and doesn't really care.
So you decide not to ask him anything about it and how Criston and his whole team is going to take it.
You honestly don't know what Aemond has done with him, what they have talked about and what exactly happened for him to leave you and Aenar alone.
And you don't want to know. You've had enough of him and everything he did to you. And fortunately you live in peace and feel safe to have Aemond on your side this time.
And before you can say anything, Aemond steps forward with a soft little smile.
When one day on your day off you find yourself making dinner while Aenar watches his favorite cartoon in the living room and you supervise him occasionally from where you are, there's a knock at the door.
You're traumatized with the thought that maybe it's Criston and something bad is going to happen, but when you open the door you find Aemond with a woman by his side.
"Hey."
"Hi," you try to smile, a little confused.
"Are you busy? I-I didn't know and thought I'd just come over," he says, "And I'd let you know but I don't have your number or-or something."
"No, no, it's fine, I'm just making dinner," you hasten to say.
"I came because I wanted to introduce you to Elinda Massey," he tells you, pointing to the woman next to him and she looks at you with a warm smile, "One of the babysitters Rhaenyra recommended to me to take care of Aenar."
"Oh," you nod, now understanding.
You watch Elinda and she radiates warmth and assurance in her gaze, instantly feeling comfortable with her presence.
"It's nice to meet you, Elinda," you say with a small smile, extending your hand to her.
"Same to you, Y/N," she replies, shaking his hand with yours, "Aemond has told me so much about you and Aenar. I'm very excited to meet him as well."
Aemond beside her nods, his expression calm.
"Elinda is professional and very experienced. I wanted to introduce you to her and thought maybe we could do a little interview together, just to get to know her and see how she gets along with Aenar."
You instantly nod again.
"Oh yeah, yeah, sure, come on in," you step aside, allowing them to pass, "Aenar is watching his favorite cartoon," you say as you close the door behind you.
Aemond instantly walks towards him, making a sound of surprise, catching his attention and Aenar instantly notices him, smiling big at the sight of him, his huge blue eyes lighting up and reaching out his little arms towards him.
Both you and Aemond know Elinda better and you realize that she is a woman who has all the necessary experience and training. Besides the fact that when she approaches Aenar, he instantly laughs and plays with her.
Aemond laughs and takes him in his arms, starting to leave a bunch of kisses on his huge chubby cheeks, making him laugh as he holds him against his chest and speaks to him in a honeyed tone.
And you again can't help but smile as you watch the scene.
There is still that feeling of worry in you knowing that you will have to leave Aenar in someone else's care.
But Elinda shows you so much in so few hours, she tells you about her experience, shows you letters of recommendation, first aid certificates, as well as other care and Aenar has fun with her.
Aemond stays a few more moments in Aenar's company, playing games and watching the cartoons he likes, while you finish dinner and cleaning the kitchen.
The three of you establish a work schedule for her, as well as you tell her some recommendations and observations regarding Aenar.
And once everything is ready and clarified, she leaves and Aemond tells you that he has already taken care of all the payment details with her.
Every now and then you hear how Aemond asks him questions in a honeyed tone and repeats the same expressions he does when he sees his favorite character on TV, and then both start laughing.
Those sounds, the sound of your son's laughter and also Aemond's expressions, unconsciously make you smile and you watch from the kitchen as Aemond makes funny gestures or faces to make him laugh and attacks him with a lot of kisses all over his face or tickles.
Then you walk him to the door once he is ready to leave.
And there the two of them make themselves comfortable on the couch, eventually Aenar falls asleep on Aemond's lap, his back and head against his chest. He cautiously gets up holding him gently and puts him to sleep, while you thank him.
"Oh, right, I almost forgot," he says stopping in front of the door and turns to you, "This is for you."
You see him take his wallet from his back pocket and inside it, he pulls out what appears to be a black card and holds it out to you. This catches your attention and also confuses you, taking the card with that confusion, not understanding.
And only when you take a good look at it in your hands do you realize that it is a bank card.
"It's yours."
He says and you frown more, then raise your gaze to him asking for an explanation.
"I can only send money to it, I don't have direct access. You'll get the PIN from the bank, tomorrow after the shoot, I'll take you to activate it," he tells you, "You know, it's in case you need money to buy something for Aenar or for you, whatever you need."
Then when you fully understand the explanation and the purpose of this, you start to panic.
"Aemond—
You try to say feeling the lump in your throat and your heart starting to pound.
"I know I didn't tell you about this, but please, I want to do it," he interrupts you with a pleading tone so you won't reject him or reproach him about it, "Besides, this is necessary. Sometimes I will have to travel to other cities for shootings or events and I won't be able to see you or him and I want to make sure you don't lack anything. So just accept it, please."
"But—
"Please," he insists.
This really seems too much to you and you have an idea of the amount of money the card must already have. And no… in spite of everything, you don't want to accept this and feel that you are taking advantage of him.
You watch him still with hesitation and worry on your face, tension hanging in the air as you and he stand in complete silence, saying nothing for a few seconds.
You look back down at the card in your hands and Aemond follows your gaze, both of you standing face to face.
And it just seems that Aemond reads your thoughts by the hesitation and insecurity on your face.
"If you don't want to use it to also buy things for yourself, use it just to buy Aenar whatever he needs," he tells you softly, "After all, I was going to do this sooner or later, wasn't I? It's my responsibility to make sure he doesn't lack anything and that's what I'm going to do."
You let out a long breath, beginning to feel less of the weight of the luxurious and clearly exclusive black card in your hands, with his words beginning to soften your chest at the mention of Aenar.
"Fine," you mutter finally, letting out a sigh and raising your gaze to him, "B-but I'll only use it for things that Ae-
This gesture from Aemond is a clear sign of concern and responsibility he feels towards you and his son. And you truly feel that genuine desire that he wants to contribute for the welfare of both of you.
You try to clarify but he quickly speaks up.
"Yeah, okay," he nods at you, "Don't worry. Just… use it."
You nod again.
"Thank you, Aemond."
A slight flicker of concern appears in his gaze and he quickly tries to be able to struggle to find the right words to be able to explain himself so you don't misunderstand him.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to—
"No, no, I don't think so," you tell him softly, with understanding, "This…" you look back down at the card in your hands and let out a sigh, "This is actually necessary and very helpful…. you really don't know how much I appreciated it."
He nods, his expression relieving a bit as he sees your behavior and also as you accept his support.
"Easy, it's okay," he assures you in a soft murmur.
"Also…" he starts to say with some nervousness but definitely more confident, "I wanted to ask you if you have social security for Aenar and you," he says with a serene expression, looking directly at you.
Again silence settles between the two of you but the air is different, calmer and less tense, feeling the mutual understanding.
And Aemond, after the two of you say nothing for another long few seconds, thinks it best to talk at this point about another plan he has in mind.
This also immediately catches your attention and you watch him warily, tilting your head to one side and starting to get an incredulous look on your face.
"You're not seriously thinking that—
"Y/N, please," he interrupts you, "This is no problem for me, really," he insists, "I just need to know."
"But—
"This is also important and I can pay for it."
"But it's a lot of money and I don't think—
"Do you really think I'll let you and Aenar go through life without being covered?" he asks you incredulously, "I can handle this. I really can."
His words continue to reflect that genuine commitment and you, despite your concern, feel something warm invade your chest, especially the gentle and willing way he is looking at you.
After all that has happened, seeing Aemond so determined to contribute to your son's well-being gives you a new hope and opportunity for Aenar's future.
The costs are too much, nothing you could really afford, not even for Aenar, since your salary was not much and had to cover other needs. You couldn't even afford it on your current salary.
You have always worked very hard to try to give Aenar everything he needs. Among them, paying for a social insurance for him, in case of anything.
But you could never afford it.
And that suddenly Aemond is offering it to you so easily, clearly because he can afford it, you feel somewhat overwhelmed and also feel that it is too much.
"And you're completely—
"Yes, I am," he interrupts you again, being very clear and honest with you, "This won't be any trouble, really," he assures you.
You want to tell him thank you, but the words get stuck in your throat. However, Aemond sees the gratitude is visible in your gaze, along with your concern and how you find yourself overthinking it.
So he just gives you a look of understanding and total reassurance.
"I'll be leaving. You need to rest. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
You let out a long breath, bite your lips and nod in his direction.
"Okay."
"Good night," he says softly as he opens the apartment door again.
"Good night. Drive safe."
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Lately the days have been more… peaceful.
But as the days progressed, you realized that it was useless to feel that way because when you returned to the apartment, everything was absolutely fine. And also everything is easier when you transport yourself with Aemond's help or with the help of his driver.
Having Elinda as a babysitter, your mornings are easier and she does an excellent job with Aenar, so you have nothing to worry about.
At first you would leave home feeling horrible and your whole body tense, always alert to your phone and exaggeratedly paranoid.
Aemond also one day told you the same thing, that lately things have been quiet, even the recordings have not been heavy for him compared to other days or other jobs.
And for the same reason that he is busy filming, he hasn't attended any events or interviews, that happens rather after he finishes filming a new show or movie and there is still time left for that.
Aemond drives in silence and the soft background music on low volume fills the entire interior of the car while you watch the city through the windows and Aenar sleeps secured in one of the back seats.
So on this one day and for one occasion only, Elinda had an important commitment that she couldn't postpone, so she didn't show up for work and you didn't have any problem, since you can bring Aenar to the nursery on the set.
And now it is Aemond who is driving them home after your shift ended almost at the same time he finished filming his scenes.
He and you haven't talked much during the whole drive, only about work, but even so the silence is comfortable and you can't wait to get home to cook a nice dinner.
The cityscape soon transforms into familiar and somewhat… careless streets, as you approach to your apartment.
He parks in front of your building and watches you.
You know this isn't a luxurious area and there's a lot of detail to look at, but it's what you can afford right now.
And that's just what Aemond thinks as he looks around the neighborhood, hating to leave you and Aenar here when he can get you a much better place. But he knows you'll say no.
"Will you stay here any longer?" he asks you softly, "I mean, will you continue to pay rent?"
"For now yes," you nod to him, "I'm saving up to move to a better place, to an apartment in a different area and that's close to work," you let him know, "It's just taking time because of my paycheck."
Aemond stares at you intently for a moment, thinking and pondering your words, with a thoughtful look on his face, while you make sure you have all your belongings with you before getting out of the car and carrying Aenar.
And just as he is about to speak, a familiar sound interrupts him and his son's crying is heard throughout the car.
You follow him too with all your things in hand, walking over to both of them.
You quickly turn to him to attend to him, trying to calm him down, while Aemond reacts and quickly gets out of the car to open the door to the back seats.
It takes him a little while to unfasten the seat belts, but once he's finished he takes him in his arms and whispers comforting words in his ear to make him stop crying.
"Shh, my little one," Aemond whispers, holding him against his chest and stroking his silver hair, "Hey, it's okay, it's okay," he murmurs, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead.
You move to his side and run one of your hands over his wet cheeks, watching you for a moment with teary blue eyes only to close them tightly and continue crying.
"Either he wants to sleep in his room or he's hungry," you say, stroking his face to try to calm him as well.
"He didn't eat?" he asks you attentively.
"Yes, Mary said yes."
"Then he wants to sleep," he says, trying to wipe the dried tears from his cheeks, "Come on upstairs, I'll take him," he tells you and you nod.
All the while Aemond tries to comfort him until they reach the door of your apartment, but when he lays him down in his crib, Aenar cries more and he carefully holds him in his arms again, trying to soothe him while you quickly stop in the kitchen and prepare a baby bottle, hoping it will help.
And when you hand it to Aemond, he stands gently pacing around the room holding Aenar with one arm while the other hand holds the baby ottle for him against his mouth, hoping it will soothe him and he will fall asleep.
You take the bottle and Aemond carefully lays him down to sleep in his crib, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead to finally let him rest.
Aenar eventually calms down as he drinks from the baby bottle and watches with his blue eyes Aemond above him, who is still gently walking him around the room.
And little by little, wrapped in the safety of Aemond's arms, he falls asleep.
He sits up and turns to you, where you both look at each other without saying anything for a moment, sharing a silent connection.
"Thank you," you whisper to him.
"Don't worry," he says back to you in the same way.
Together you leave Aenar's room without a sound and gently close the door.
That night Aemond drives to his apartment with a new thought in mind, one of which is to always provide a better life for you and Aenar.
That's why, without telling you anything and taking advantage of the fact that it's your day off, he manages to leave the recording set early, he tells you to accompany him to the mall to buy new clothes for Aenar and you accept without thinking about anything else.
During the ride, so far you haven't questioned him about anything and that relieves him, but when you finally pay attention to the streets he is driving through, that's when your confusion appears and Aemond is thankful that you are about to arrive at the real place he wants to take you.
"I don't think there's a shopping mall around here, Aemond," you tell him confused, watching the streets carefully.
You realize that he is actually driving through a private residential neighborhood, with the streets lined with luxurious homes or rather mansions that would catch anyone's attention and you are clearly no exception.
And remembering your locations, you can tell that this neighborhood belongs to the Visenya Hill area, the most exclusive and prestigious area of King's Landing.
"Aemond, where are we going?" you look at him completely confused and questioning.
"I want to show you something," he tells you without giving you any more detail, generating more confusion and despair in you.
"But you said we were going to the mall."
"I know, but I lied to you," he says with some regret and you frown, "If I told you I wanted to show you a house where you can live with Aenar, you wouldn't have come."
"What?"
You inquire in your completely incredulous, serious and questioning voice, watching him with your eyes wide open.
"Surely you're joking," you tell him absurdly, shaking in his direction and watching him completely intently and seriously, really wanting to believe this is a joke.
"No, I'm not," he says letting out a small laugh, watching you for a moment to turn his gaze back to the road.
"Aemond," you start trying to warn him, serious.
"We're here," he announces out of nowhere, alerting you more fully.
You watch with your lips parted and completely attentive at all the windows, as the car comes to a stop in front of an impressive house, whose high ceilings and elegant white columns stand out in the neighborhood.
The front garden with the green lawn, a beautiful fountain and flowering bushes only make it stand out more, besides the elegant entrance, its huge windows and the dimension of the whole house that makes you continue to stare at everything with your mouth open.
In comparison, Aemond looks at the house with a hopeful expression and feeling genuinely happy and excited. But at the same time, he is worried about your attitude and what you will tell him about all this.
At first you refuse to get out of the car, still incredulous and surprised, telling him this is crazy, but Aemond makes you get out and also gets Aenar down from the back seats, instantly on this rare occasion preferring your arms instead of his father's.
"Aemond," you try to say, worried and still unable to believe it.
"Easy. Come," he tells you completely unconcerned, leading you to the entrance of the house.
You observe everything, unable to help yourself, as there is even furniture and everything looks too expensive but too beautiful at the same time.
You watch as he holds the fucking key in his hand and opens the beautiful, gigantic door for you, without giving you a chance to say anything else.
And as you enter, the entire interior of the house spreads out in front of you, illuminated by the daylight filtering through the windows and highlighting every majestic detail of the property.
The simple entrance is large with a crystal chandelier above you hanging from the high ceiling, the living room is spacious and there is also a small decorative fountain. Further on there is another living room that you can observe from the spacious and eye-catching kitchen.
And the entire upstairs also completely grabs your attention, having three huge bedrooms, the master bedroom being the largest of them all, each with its own bathroom and closet.
The bathroom down here is ridiculously large for a bathroom. The pantry is also a ridiculously large room for a pantry.
The garden is lovely and has a swimming pool which, according to Aemond, can be automatically closed off for Aenar's security. There is a laundry and drying room as well.
"It's perfect, don't you think?"
Aemond tells you slightly excited as you walk down the stairs behind him, with Aenar in your arms and who also looks at everything around him with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Work is nearby, my apartment is nearby and Elinda has come to this area to work before, so it won't be a problem," he tells you with that little smile, turning to you, looking with that gleam of hope compared to you.
He clearly expects the same reaction from you and even having already seen the house, you let out a sigh and look at him with a serious and confused expression.
"Aemond, what do you think you're doing?"
"Well, it's for you," he tells you, pointing to everything around him, still not seeing how much this is costing you, "It's perfect for you and Aenar. And a chance for him to live and grow up in a nice, spacious, safe place."
You are speechless for a moment, feeling that heaviness in your chest and your heart pounding as you press your lips together and briefly observe everything around you again.
"Everything will be taken care of by me, you won't have to worry about anything," he assures you softly, "Aenar's room is big, the kitchen is big, there are two living rooms and..." he shrugs, "Like I told you, everything is close by."
"Tell me you haven't already bought all this," you say slightly concerned.
And then all emotion from Aemond slowly fades.
"But why? What is it that—
"Aemond, this is too much," you interrupt him incredulously, shock in your eyes, "How do you think I'm just going to accept this just like that?"
He steps closer, with the slight concern in his gaze, trying to convey calm, but his eye reflects the urgency of his purpose.
"Y/N, please. I only want what's best for you and Aenar. Besides, you said you're moving soon and—
"Yes but to an apartment, not a house that costs millions of dollars," you tell him absurdly.
"Yes, I know, but—" he bites his lips, nervous, "I wanted to do this. I wanted to give this to you and Aenar," he says insistent, "A safe place in a quiet neighborhood, where you can also have your space without having to worry anymore."
You shake your head.
"But—
"Look, just..." he tries to find the right words, trying to work on your willing attitude for not accepting this, "Consider it, yes?" he insist, "You don't have to make a decision right now, for now I just wanted to show you around, nothing more," he says calmly, though you know that behind that calmness is an obvious longing.
"But it's just that this is too much and... no," you look at him with slight concern, "I don't need to consider it because no matter how much I think about it, my answer is no."
"Aemond, this..." you begin to say with restrained sadness, hesitating, "This won't change the past. This won't make it so I can forgive you," you tell him resignedly, "This isn't about me and Aenar, it's about Aenar nothing else and her well being," you tell him in a broken voice, "But this... this house... it's too much."
"Y/N..." he says, taking a couple more steps towards you, wary, "Two years ago, I was the worst shitty boyfriend," he says with sadness and regret, "I had to support you, be there for you completely, I shouldn't have let Criston talk me into his plans, accept in the beginning to hide you and hide my responsibility."
He says as he looks nostalgic at Aenar in your arms.
"And now that you've given me this second chance, I just want to make things right....I want to do what I should have done in the beginning."
Aemond's expression, although he himself tries to remain expressionless, still feels as if he has been hit hard in the stomach when he hears your words.
And all illusion disappears, as well as his enthusiasm.
He resignedly steps back, leaving a space between you and him, not wanting to overwhelm you any more than he already has.
He thought this would be a good idea, that by the time the three of you were here, looking forward to the idea of a new home, you would understand and accept.
But there are still many open wounds from the past and he knows they cannot be healed with these sudden gestures.
"I know, it's just that I-I..." he tries to say with his voice laden with regret and deep remorse," I didn't expect this... a house or an apology to just fix things," he says sincerely and with disappointment, "I just wanted to give Aenar stability and offer you a safe place for the both of you, give you a better life."
Silence envelops you both, dense and charged with mixed emotions.
Aemond tries to find some sign on your face, wanting you to see his true intention, longing for some small indication of hope or acceptance.
And you feel the overwhelming weight of responsibility and emotions inside you. All of this is tempting, though your heart is still scarred by past pain and also distrust. And you are torn between caution and the opportunity to give Aenar the stability he deserves.
Aemond remains silent, respecting your space and your time to process the situation. But the indecision in you is all too obvious.
"Y/N, I promise you that all this is for Aenar and nothing else," he tells you seriously and sincerely, "I promise I won't try anything, except to take care of him and make sure he lacks nothing," he insists, "At least stay in this house until he grows up a little more and if you still think it's too much, we can find a smaller place," he proposes.
His words are left floating in the air, while you continue to think too hard. His proposal echoing in your mind, plunging you into a sea of thoughts, with indecision.
Aemond seems to have put his heart on the table, but your emotions continue to struggle between caution and hope, as you cannot ignore the possibility of offering Aenar a more secure and stable life, which is all you wish for him since you could not give him that at the beginning.
And it is also what Aemond desires, that is why he is so insistent and you see his true intention to give this to Aenar, without any other intentions in between.
But is it right to trust him again? What if Criston and his team try to intervene again? This time they would do it more easily.
Maybe it can be different this time.
You honestly feel like you're taking a big risk by agreeing. It's a big bet to open your life and Aenar's to this new opportunity, but you also see how he's striving to give you something better.
And that's exactly what has you questioning and wondering: should I give this a chance?
"All right," you finally say in a soft voice with a mixture of nervousness, "But only for Aenar."
Aemond looks at you with surprise and hope.
"Really?"
You nod, swallowing hard and Aemond lets out a long breath, visibly relieved and then, avoiding smiling big, takes the house key from his front pocket and holds it out to you, to which you take it a little confused.
"Don't you have to give it to the real estate agent?"
"Actually, I already bought it," he says with a nervous but innocent gesture at the same time, scratching the back of his neck, "Well, I haven't paid the whole amount, but I've paid most of it. So it's yours."
Seven fucking Hells.
You can't help but think as you close your eyes for a moment and let out a sigh, unable to believe it.
The new house soon began to have that warmth the moment you started settling in with Aenar. Every room radiates a sense of peace and comfort that you haven't experienced in a long time.
The move wasn't difficult at all, the only thing you had to transport from the old apartment with the help of Aemond and his driver was your clothes, Aenar's clothes, her toys and her crib, nothing else.
The house already had furniture, beds, decorations and even televisions already installed.
The high ceilings allow natural light to flood in, while the white walls set off the black and gray furniture and Aenar toys, creating a warm and cozy atmosphere.
Aemond builds Lego block forts together with him, buys him toy dragons, cars, stuffed animals and they both watch Aenar's favorite cartoon or movies, getting cozy on the shag carpet or on the couch.
Because Aemond's apartment is close by, his commitment is more accessible, so there is never a day that goes by that he doesn't visit Aenar.
Special moments between father and son are spent in the living room, where toys scattered on the floor become Aenar's playroom area.
Also some evenings the three of you have dinner together, where Aemond offers to feed Aenar and eventually the dining room fills with laughter and smiles as you focus on him.
The backyard also becomes a realm of adventure, where they both even plan picnics and invite you over.
They also both sometimes spend afternoons exploring with laughter and playing with the plastic cars on the lawn where Aenar imitates the sounds Aemond makes from a car.
The new house is filled with happy and warm moments, forming the perfect setting for Aenar to begin to grow up, having both of his parents looking after him.
The proximity of work and Aemond's apartment made the daily routine easier. The routes are short and convenient, allowing more time to enjoy time together.
And above all you definitely feel more at ease having Elinda taking care of Aenar while you are considerably closer to home from the set.
When one day at night, you had already received a message from Aemond telling you that he would be a little late to visit Aenar, as usual, and you replied that it was fine, even though tomorrow is your day off and you have no problem with sleeping late.
But the clock is almost half past eleven at night and you think he is not going to arrive, when just at that moment you hear the doorbell ring and you go to the door, checking from the IPad the cameras of a program that Aemond installed to record Aenar while he sleeps and also monitors in case of anything and so you can make sure he is okay.
And finally you open the door, watching Aemond carefully.
"I thought you weren't coming anymore," you tell him in a low, warm tone, but also worried.
Aemond nods, letting out a sigh.
"I finished later than I thought. It was a hard day," he tells you heavily.
You nod softly and understandingly, stepping aside to let him pass.
"Aenar is already asleep."
"Yes, that's what i thought," he says calmly, "But it doesn't matter, I won't wake him up, I just want to see him," he watches you with tired eye, "You should go to sleep too," he says as he places one of his hands gently on your shoulder, "I'll lock up and set the alarm when I leave."
Hesitation shows on your face for a moment, watching him intently and with a flash of concern.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, don't worry," he nods at you with a small soft smile, "Go get some rest, I'll take care of it."
"Fine, but anything tell me, no matter what it is, okay?"
"Okay."
With a soft nod, you both head up the stairs and down the hallway to the rooms, you wave goodbye to him before entering your room and he enters Aenar's room.
And once in your room, you cover yourself with your sheets and thinking that you would fall asleep the moment you were in the comfort of your bed, you suddenly stare at the ceiling for a long time unable to close your eyes and clearly unable to sleep.
He hasn't left yet, as you haven't heard that soft 'click' of the door or his footsteps in the hallway walking away.
You try to find sleep any way you can, but the thought that Aemond is still in the house is what keeps you awake.
And it's not because you don't trust him, on the contrary, you look at the time and feel remorseful and worried that he has to drive back to his apartment so late.
Minutes pass and suddenly you find yourself restless, sleep refusing to invade you. So with quiet steps, you approach Aenar's room, where the dim light of a night lamp reflects through the frame below the door.
Carefully and determined, you gently open the door, first peeking your head and then your body, catching the attention of Aemond who turns his head towards you, sitting near Aenar's crib and gently and very lightly stroking his hair so as not to wake him with a look of affection that does not leave his face despite the interruption.
"Can't you sleep?" he whispers to you, watching you with a soft gaze.
You nod softly, folding your arms as you look down at sleeping Aenar with palpable tenderness.
"It's late and I thought maybe... if you want, you can sleep here," you say with a warm tone but your hint of shyness in your voice is noticeable, as well as your hesitation to suggest such a thing.
It's no problem for you, it's just that he's never slept over before and you don't know what his reaction will really be to you proposing that, whether he'll say yes or no.
"And you're okay with that?" he observes you thoughtfully and softly.
"Yes, of course I am," you assure him completely nonchalantly, "It's totally fine with me."
He nods at you with a gesture, without wiping away his soft little smile.
"Thank you."
And then both his gaze and yours return to watching Aenar asleep in his crib. And Aemond resumes the smile of tenderness on his lips, again sliding his hand over his hair.
"He's beautiful, isn't he?" he whispers with a flash of pride in his gaze.
You hum in assent, slowly moving closer toward them both.
"Yes, he is," you reply, gazing at your little one with indescribable love.
A brief silence envelops you for a moment, only hearing the soft hum of the spinning lamp projecting images on the ceiling, creating a peaceful low-light scene of animals and stars for Aenar.
This usually helps him sleep and also calms him down a bit if he wakes up crying in the middle of the night while you wake up and rush over here.
"For a while I imagined how he would looked like, whether boy or girl..." he murmurs in a soft, warm, low, wistful tone, "No matter what you decided to do when you left, I always thought about it," he gives you a meaningful look, guilt on his features and you nod, watching him with understanding.
Aemond clenches his jaw and looks at Aenar again, while you remember those days, where fear and uncertainty lived inside you every day.
You wish you had them, those happy moments that a new mom should experience, but that was not the case for you and yet... you cannot imagine a life without your little boy, it is impossible.
What is supposed to be happy news, was not happy for you and Aemond.
There was no single moment of joy at the beginning, when you learned of your pregnancy. Nor did you experience that feeling the first few months, when you ran away and went back to building a new life.
And Aemond feels the remorse most in these kinds of moments, when Aenar is asleep and he looks at him, not being able to believe and wondering over and over again how it is that from the beginning, he supported the idea of just getting rid of him.
And now he sees only him and cannot imagine a world without him.
Shame overcomes him, guilt also and he even wants to cry with anger as he thinks of all that you must have gone through, without his support, trying to make a living for you and his son, all alone in a new and unknown place.
And he knows that this, allowing you to be in Aenar's life, is a great opportunity that he doesn't deserve and yet you have given it to him.
"I know you said you can't forgive me but... someday can you? For how I reacted and for the decision I supported in the beginning?" he asks you, unable to help himself and needing to know.
His tone is charged with a mixture of regret and longing as you feel a pressure and a slight sharp pain in your chest at his words.
Silence stretches for a moment throughout the room, Aemond respects your silence and though there are many reasons why you should never forgive him for what happened, you still decide to be honest.
"I don't know," you whisper in a low, sad and vulnerable tone.
The words echo through the room, enveloping the space with palpable tension.
Aemond feels his heart pounding, filled with overwhelming regret. He lowers his gaze, unable to bear the weight of his mistakes and your words are like a dagger in his heart, but still, he understands you completely.
He nods with compression, letting out a regret-laden sigh, still gently stroking Aenar's hair.
"I understand," he murmurs with a tone of melancholy and fragility, as well as in his gaze full of pleading and remorse.
"Does your family know about him?"
And you with your sad eyes full of regret, you watch him out of the corner of your eye.
And you see all those emotions in him, all his thoughts reflected in his gaze, trying to stand firm and on the sidelines as he continues to watch Aenar.
You can't help but ask, trying to calm the atmosphere a little, though it's useless, as that slight tension is felt and also that physical and emotional distance from both your side and him.
"I've wanted to tell them, only Nyra knows but I asked her not to say anything," he confesses to you in a low voice, trying to speak firmly but the nostalgia is clear, "Even though I know my mother and siblings will be disappointed in me when I explained what happened two years ago, yes I have wanted to tell them," he nods, "But first I wanted to discuss it with you," he says looking briefly at you over his shoulder.
And now it is remorse that comes to you.
"Tell them, Aemond," you tell him firmly with a soft tone, "They deserve to know."
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general taglist:
@imaegonstargaryenswife0 @bellstwd @gibbsgirl7 @toodlesxcuddles @imsoshygirl @croatianprincess @gemini-mama @a-little-roony-mara @mysteris-things @zenka69 @at-a-rax-ia @fan-goddess @duds31 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @eternally-passionate @bellaisasleep @ttkttt @aemshaircare @mellowdreamlandpost-blog @noodle81937 @mooncalvin @queenofshinigamis @n4tforlife @vexladin @dixie-elocin @wotcherpeak @watercolorskyy @shiny-trashs-blog @strangersunghoon @elysian0612 @skzenhalove @iloveallmyboys @cakescupcakesminicookies
next part:
@hypocritic-trash-baby
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drdemonprince · 10 months ago
Note
The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.
When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)
That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.
To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.
I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?
So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.
Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.
What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.
Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.
I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.
I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.
Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)
But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.
Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)
Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.
Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.
Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.
I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.
It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .
And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.
It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.
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moodymelanist · 2 months ago
Text
once bitten (and twice shy)
Merry Christmas, @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk! Tis I, your Secret Santa! I really hope you enjoy this fic and I'm hoping to try and post all of it this week to not keep you waiting too long... but in the meantime, enjoy the first part of this 5+1 that I've been toying around with! 🩷
thank you so much to @acotargiftexchange for putting this amazing event together! I can't wait to see what else is in store this week 🫶🏽🫶🏽
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Summary: When Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn take a Christmas vacation, Nesta gets far more than she bargained for with the hot guy staying next door.
(Or 5 times Nesta didn't have time for Cassian, plus 1 time she finally did)
Read on AO3 here!
✷✷✷✷✷ Nesta
1.
When Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie had planned their girls’ trip, Nesta hadn’t exactly known what to expect. Sure, she’d assumed this sleepy, holiday town would look like something out of a winter wonderland, but as Nesta took in the sights, even a Grinch like her was forced to admit her expectations had been exceeded.
“Oh, wow,” Gwyn breathed as they came around the corner to reveal their Airbnb. It was a gorgeous house, fully decked out for the holidays with twinkling lights and a snowman out front to boot, and even Nesta had to admit it looked like something out of a Hallmark movie. The house was two stories and decked out with Christmas decor, from lights wrapped perfectly around the frame and candles glowing in each window. “It’s even prettier than the photos.”
“You sure know how to pick them,” Emerie agreed from the driver’s seat. She carefully pulled into the driveway before putting the car in park, and the three of them took one last moment to enjoy the warmth before they braved the cold December air. “Okay, let’s make this as painless as possible.”
Gwyn went to unlock the front door while Nesta and Emerie grabbed as many bags as they could carry. Thankfully, they weren’t in the cold long, and the house was just as beautiful on the inside as it was out. There were plenty of comfortable couches, picturesque sitting areas, and most importantly, three beds just as advertised. They’d paid a little more so everyone at least had their own queen-sized bed, and Nesta and Emerie would share a bedroom while Gwyn had the primary suite, given how close it was to her birthday.
“Woah,” Nesta said as she walked inside. The owners clearly hadn’t limiting their decorations to the outdoors; there was a giant, fully decked out Christmas tree in the living room, garland wrapped around the bannister on the stairs leading upstairs, and red and white stockings hanging above the fireplace.
“Woah is right,” Emerie agreed as she followed Nesta inside. “This looks like it should be in a magazine.”
“I know,” Gwyn replied, coming downstairs to help them continue unloading. “I’m a little obsessed with it.”
“Only a little?” Nesta asked, nodding at Gwyn’s ugly Christmas sweater. Today’s option was a navy sweater complete with a pattern of her cat’s face on it, and Gwyn clearly had no shame. 
“I am not ashamed of my love of the holidays,” Gwyn told her primly, “or my cat.”
“Maybe you should be,” Nesta fired back, teasing. 
“Just for that, I’m pulling my birthday card,” Gwyn announced, already turning and retreating back upstairs to her room. “Have fun unloading the rest of the car!”
Nesta met Emerie’s eyes and they shared a fond eye roll. “How much is even left?”
“You could probably do it in one trip,” Emerie answered, already backing away with her own bags in hand. “I’m gonna go… unpack my own bags.”
“So much for sisterhood!” Nesta called after Emerie’s retreating back, earning nothing but a loud laugh in return. 
It won’t even be that bad, Nesta told herself as she made sure her coat was zipped all the way up. I’ll do this in one trip if it kills me.
Nesta braved the winter air once again and made her way back to the rental car, breathing a sigh in relief when she realized she could almost certainly make it back to the house in one trip. It might take a little finagling, but it would certainly be doable. She squared her shoulders and started laying out the remaining bags, and she was about to start loading up when a voice broke her concentration. 
“You need any help with that?”
Nesta turned to see one of the most attractive men she’d ever seen in her life standing on the neighboring house’s porch with a playful look on his face. He was wearing a thick, dark green jacket, black jeans, and heavy winter boots, and she could tell he was built even through the multiple layers of clothes he had on. 
“Do I look like I need help?” she eventually said once she’d managed to find her voice. Despite how hot this guy was, she wasn’t going to fall all over herself for him.
“That sounds like a loaded question,” he said back with a lopsided grin, taking a sip of what looked like either coffee or hot chocolate. His eyes looked incredibly green because of his jacket, and they twinkled with his easy smile. “I’m going to go with no.”
“Then why are you offering?” she asked.
He laughed, and damn if that didn’t make her feel things. “Just because you don’t look like you need help doesn’t mean you don’t need it.”
“Even if I needed help, why would I accept it from a stranger?” she fired back.
“I’m Cassian,” Cassian said, and then pointed at the house behind him. “My friends and I are staying here for the week. I heard you guys pull up and thought I’d be… neighborly.”
“You wanted to be neighborly, but you’re standing there with your hands full of hot chocolate,” Nesta said back with a roll of her eyes. “Right. Makes perfect sense.”
“Who says I can’t finish my mug and then offer my services?” he retorted, raising said mug in her direction before he took another sip. 
“And what services would those be?” she replied. 
“I’m a physical therapist,” he told her, his grin turning downright sinful. “I’m good with my hands, and you seem pretty… tense.”
Nesta resolutely ignored the way heat was pooling between her thighs at the thought of how good those hands could feel on her. She was Nesta Archeron, Esq. Even if she met someone that managed to hold her interest for longer than a few minutes — without pissing her off, of course — she didn’t have time for relationships, or for flings, or even for removing tension. Her last boyfriend certainly hadn’t been worth the effort she’d put into their relationship, and even if he hadn’t cheated, she still regretted bringing him to one of her firm’s events. He just couldn’t keep up with her; who could?
So Nesta buried her head in her work instead. She still made time for her family and friends, of course — she was on this trip with Gwyn and Emerie, and she’d see Feyre and Elain once she got back — but her degrees weren’t going to up and leave her if they got bored. Her billable hours might not always be exciting, but at least they were consistent. 
“I’m sure you are,” Nesta eventually replied, making sure to keep her voice as bland and disinterested as possible. Judging by the downright gleeful expression on Cassian’s face, she hadn’t exactly been successful, but whatever. It wasn’t like she’d be spending her entire vacation with him. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ve got it.”
“Never doubted that you did,” Cassian said. “But I’ll be here all week if you change your mind.”
She rolled her eyes as she began to finally load up on the bags she’d came out here for in the first place. “I won’t.”
“Who was that?” Gwyn asked when Nesta finally returned inside. She must have been watching from one of the large windows overlooking the porch, and Nesta sighed as whatever thoughts she’d had about keeping that interaction to herself went up in smoke. “You were talking to him for a while.”
“Cassian is staying in the house next door with some of his friends,” Nesta answered. “He said he wanted to be… neighborly. Help me with the bags or whatever.”
“Uh huh,” Gwyn replied with a knowing look. “Is that all he offered?”
“He said he’s a PT, and that I looked tense,” Nesta told her with a roll of her eyes. “Like he’s one to judge. He doesn’t even know me.”
“I can feel you grinding your teeth from here,” Gwyn fired back. “Trust me, you don’t need to be an expert to see you need a break.”
“Which is exactly why we’re here, isn’t it?” Nesta retorted without missing a beat. “Besides, I’d much rather relax with my friends than have my time wasted yet again.”
Nesta was thankfully saved by the bell — literally, as someone was ringing the doorbell to their Airbnb. Nesta and Gwyn exchanged glances before silently deciding to see who was at the door, the two of them looking through the frosted glass to see three people waiting for them on the other side. Cassian’s green coat was clearly visible, and the two others with him must have been the friends he’d mentioned during his conversation with Nesta. 
“Nesta, what the fuck,” Gwyn hissed under her breath. She turned to look at Nesta incredulously. “You didn’t tell me his friends were hot.”
“Who has hot friends?” Emerie asked, finally coming back downstairs at the commotion. 
“Nesta talked to one of our neighbors for the week,” Gwyn answered, “and failed to tell me how hot everyone in that house apparently is!”
“Okay, well let’s not be weird,” Emerie replied slowly, clearly still processing what Gwyn had just shared. “Everybody keep their cool, okay?”
“I’m perfectly cool,” Nesta responded with a roll of her eyes. “And for the record, I didn’t say anything because I only saw Cassian.”
“I’ll bet you did,” Gwyn muttered under her breath, pulling a snicker from Emerie and a scowl from Nesta. “Okay, okay, everyone stay calm. I’m gonna open the door now.”
Gwyn opened the door to reveal Cassian and his two friends — one a blonde woman who was around Nesta’s height, and the other a man who looked so similar to Cassian they could’ve been brothers. The blonde woman lit up at the sight of Emerie, Gwyn, and Nesta , and even Nesta had to admit she was a little underprepared for how much more gorgeous she was with a smile like that on her face. She looked like something out of a winter magazine with her pristine, all-white skiing outfit that somehow managed to show off her curves despite the thick layers of insulation. “Hi neighbors!”
“Hi,” Gwyn replied, her eyes barely resting on the blonde before she openly started ogling her taller, broodier friend. He was dressed in a black peacoat, jeans so dark they nearly looked black, and similar snowboots to Cassian. “How can we help you?”
“Not to be totally weird,” the woman began, her smile turning a little self-deprecating, “but Cassian said you guys were staying here for the week too?” 
“Yup, Nesta mentioned that,” Emerie answered, completely ignoring the daggers Nesta was shooting at the back of her head. “We’re here until Friday. I’m Emerie, by the way.”
“I’m Mor, and this is Azriel,” Mor replied, jerking her head toward Tall, Dark, and Brooding. “Sounds like you already met Cassian.”
“Unfortunately,” Nesta grumbled, extremely unamused when Cassian just grinned like a maniac. What was wrong with him? Most men ran for the hills when she showed them this level of disinterest, but it seemed like that only got him going even more. “You’re very… forward.”
“That’s what they say about me,” Cassian said. “Very forward, and very down to take you to dinner later.”
“Jesus Christ, keep it in your pants,” Mor interjected with a roll of her eyes. Nesta was torn between thanking Mor and wishing she’d given Nesta the chance to verbally eviscerate Cassian, but Nesta got the sense he’d enjoy that, too, so maybe it was for the best that Mor had intervened. “You goddamn frat bro. I’m not trying to scare them off.”
“We are both bisexual, Morrigan,” Cassian quipped back without missing a beat. “I can’t be a frat bro, it violates the rules of nature.”
“Since we’re sharing, I’m straight, Nesta’s bisexual, and Emerie’s lesbian,” Gwyn chimed in with a knowing little smirk. “In case it’s… mhmm, relevant or anything.”
“Very relevant,” Mor said, suddenly looking very much like she wanted to eat Emerie alive. She started playing with the zipper on her jacket just enough to be enticing, and even Nesta had to look away before she got sucked in. “What would you say to coming over for dinner tomorrow? We’d love to have you over once you’re settled in.”
“I’m a great chef,” Cassian added, winking at Nesta. “Azriel isn’t a half bad bartender, either.”
“I do love cocktails,” Gwyn mused. 
“I could whip up a few things,” Azriel replied, his voice low and deep. “Hope you don’t mind being my taste tester.”
Nesta could feel the moment Gwyn fell — hook, line, and sinker — and had to refrain from releasing a heavy sigh. So much for a girls trip. “That definitely won’t be a problem.”
“So it’s a date, then?” Mor prompted, her eyes lingering on Emerie for a few moments before she turned to look at Nesta expectantly. “Assuming we haven’t already scared you off.”
It felt like everyone was looking at Nesta, as though they’d all mutually decided she was the holdout, and the worst part was they weren’t even wrong. Mor clearly had eyes for Emerie — eyes that were certainly being returned, given how much lower Mor’s zipper had fallen in the last minute or so — and Azriel and Gwyn were locked in some kind of flirtatious staring contest so intense Nesta didn’t even want to look at them. All that left was Cassian eyeing Nesta up like she was a particularly difficult challenge, and the only reason she didn’t visibly bristle was the fact that she could just tell how much he’d enjoy it. 
“Well?” Gwyn said. When Nesta didn’t say anything, she whirled around to look at Nesta with murder in her teal eyes. “What do you say, ladies?”
“I guess we have dinner plans tomorrow,” Nesta said back, somehow managing not to sound too put out about it. 
“Great!” Mor chirped. She reached into her pocket and somehow managed to extricate her phone, unlocking it with a flourish before passing it over to Emerie. “Can I have your number? So we can sort out all the details?”
“Of course,” Emerie replied. She blushed as Mor passed her the phone, and Nesta had to work to suppress her groan as she realized this trip would be anything but relaxing. “Can’t wait.”
“Me either,” Mor told her with a wink. Emerie’s cheeks went pinker the longer Mor stared at her, a fact that clearly delighted her, but Nesta not-so-subtly coughed and forced the conversation to get back on track. “Okay, we’re gonna stop letting all your hot air out. See you ladies tomorrow!”
“Okay, Gwyn was right,” Emerie said the second the door was closed. “Nesta, you could’ve warned us.”
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