#░ °.・❪ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ ❫ ▬▬ a.marin. * | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

leftoverfear · 8 years ago

Note

"Are you scared of being hurt?" (for ashley)

if she had known about this sooner, she would have never gotten involved with theo. that was what she told herself; that was what she had to assume. she had gotten involved with many people she knew she never should, and most times, it was in order to hide some kind of secret or protect her daughter in some way. with him, it wasn’t like that. it was a mistake at first, something inappropriate and frowned upon that she knew she shouldn’t get into, yet she did. but it wasn’t manipulative, and it wasn’t selfish —— not this time. it was REAL. her feelings for him, though surprising, were certainly strong and certain. and it took her plenty of time to get used to it. it was just a fling, something strictly physical —— but then he moved in. and then he started spending the nights with her, too. and then he started helping her with things she would have tried to handle on her own ( and now that she was through it, she was certain she would have failed without his help. ) and then, he started looking after her daughter too. hanna didn’t understand it at first ——- ashley certainly didn’t blame her. but she got used to it, she knew her mother was in good hands despite the way it seemed.

and then —- they got married. he was her husband now. while she could write it off as a mindless fling before this, and it could have ended easily if it needed to or if it ever came to a point the relationship simply didn’t work, she couldn’t do that so easily now. not only was divorce such a heavy experience —— ashley certainly didn’t want to be the woman who went through husbands, divorced TWICE. it was why she was so determined to make this relationship work this time. they had rushed to get married when they saw it as a necessity, but her heart told her it was the right decision. she loved him, and she genuinely believed she belonged with him. he could protect her and her daughter, and the latter was something she needed more than anything. she couldn’t foresee anything getting in the way.

and she certainly didn’t expect this. a supernatural creature, both a wolf and a coyote? that wasn’t real. in her world, supernatural creatures were nothing but myths and of stories, not real —— certainly not the kind that live in your house and kiss you goodnight. not the kind tied to the ring around your finger. if this hadn’t gone so far, this might have been a deal breaker. it should have been ( and part of her wondered if it still should be, even if they were married. ) was this going to ruin her family? was his past going to catch up to him, was he going to find himself in some kind of danger, or was he going to leave to run wild in the forest as he had been before he met her and she took him in? her family had to come first, and if they were in danger, even if not by him, she had to get him out of here. she had to know he wasn’t going to cause problems for them. but also —— she wanted to continue on with the life she was building with him. she wanted to be happy and in love and not worry about the rest. she didn’t want to talk about it at all. the supernatural side of him was something she refused to acknowledge; it was the only way she could feel like this wasn’t a bad idea. it was the only way she felt like she knew what kind of relationship she was in.

❛ do i need to be? ❜ she asked, expression stern as she remained on the other side of the island from him, keeping her distance until this was all settled. ❛ are hanna and i at risk? ❜ she knew he wouldn’t hurt them, and she knew that she felt safer with him than anyone else she had ever been with, so that wasn’t the problem. ❛ are YOU in danger? ❜ that was important too. she didn’t want to risk losing him. ❛ is this how ——- you always get your way? how you always find a way around things? you use . . . this? ❜ she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she quickly shook her head. no, she didn’t want to know. she didn’t want to know anything about it. she had to be strong about this for �� her family. ❛ hanna doesn’t find out about this, ❜ she insisted. they had just gotten hanna on board with their relationship, they didn’t need to throw something else in the mix. and while she was very strict about she and her daughter not lying to each other, this was something she didn’t want to know herself. she refused to let this be a burden. ❛ and you don’t talk to me about it either. not unless you’re hurt or you’re in trouble. then, i’ll make sure you’re okay, i’ll take care of you. ❜ that was what she had vowed to do. ❛ but —— sweetheart, i don’t want to know about this side of you. i understand it’s nothing you can change, and i don’t want you to change anything about yourself, but i’d prefer that you and i remain strictly on your human side. that goes for this whole house —— there will be no . . . wolfing out here, ❜ she insisted, taking a deep breath and quickly changing her demeanor ( it was always a quick change whenever she wanted so desperately to avoid a topic, she would pretend it didn’t matter and move on. ) ❛ —- dinner will be ready soon. hanna’s inviting caleb over, so set an extra plate out. i need to get the potatoes ready. ❜

▐░▒ @nctafailure

#nctafailure #░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ 」#░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ᵐᵉᵐᵉ 」#░ ━ ჻ ashley / theo「 ᵖᵛˑ ᶰᶜᵗᵃᶠᵃᶦᶫᵘʳᵉ 」#░ ━ ჻ queue. *#▌°.・❪ ᵐᵉᵐᵉ ❫ ▬ a. marin *#░ °.・❪ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ ❫ ▬▬ a.marin. *#↷ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ╱ A. MARIN.

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leftoverfear · 8 years ago

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"I didn't tell anyone, I swear!" (for ashley or hermione)

her hand shook as she clutched the phone tightly in front of her, a message that read ‘ does your daughter know her lab partner is a momma’s boy? - a ‘ on the screen. it was enough to make her sick to her stomach, and it wasn’t just the the thought of someone knowing that she and theo were involved with one another. it was the wording of the text in general, and the idea that someone had gone out of their way to call them out for what they were doing. if they were trying to get into her head about what she was doing and what her daughter would think of it, it was a good route to take. it was working.

the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass hanna. that was the a big reason it was so important to keep things between them hidden. but there was more than that. rosewood was a small town, and ashley had always been cautious of the way she and her family were perceived. that meant that if hanna did something wrong, she was quick to try to cover it up, even if it meant going to great lengths to do so. theo was not only of age, but he was much more mature than the men she had seen before ( certainly more mature than wilden, definitely much more mature than tom ever was. ) she was comfortable seeing him because he gave her no reason to believe he was too young. in theory, he was. but he didn’t treat her as if he was a child. he treated her as if he was an adult and a companion that she could count on.

❛ someone knows, theo. ❜ her words were strict as she stared back at him, still holding the phone up as if she didn’t know how to let go of it or set it down. she was furious and terrified, both feelings that could consume her if she found no solution to the problem at hand. ❛ i didn’t send this to myself, and i haven’t told anyone, so how could this happen? ❜ her words were much more frantic now, clearly SCARED of what this could mean and desperate to do anything she could to stop it. ❛ what the hell are we going to do? and don’t say you’ll take care of it, and don’t say i shouldn’t worry, and don’t say you can handle this. ❜ she was used to him taking care of everything by now. this was something she was afraid she couldn’t put into his hands, especially if he didn’t tell anyone.

❛ this is real, love, and it’s already happened. if you didn’t tell someone, then —— then we’re not being careful enough. ❜ or maybe someone was just making something out of nothing, simply focusing on the fact that there was a young man living in her house not dating her daughter or her. it could easily just be a way to get inside her head. but given the circumstances, given the fact that they were involved, she couldn’t rely on that being the truth. whoever this anonymous sender was hit her where it hurt, and now she was suffering from it. ❛ we need a plan. and i think that plan has to include us ———- keeping some distance between us. at least for a while, ❜ she suggested, taking a deep breath as she finally moved her hand down to set her phone on the table. ❛ i . . . don’t want to. but if this gets out, you know what that means for us. ❜ it meant the end, or at least that’s what she thought it would mean. she didn’t know any better right now. ❛ so we need to be careful. and we need to figure out who the hell sent me this, ❜ she insisted.

▐░▒ @nctafailure

#nctafailure #░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ 」#░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ᵐᵉᵐᵉ 」#░ ━ ჻ queue. *#▌°.・❪ ᵐᵉᵐᵉ ❫ ▬ a. marin *#░ °.・❪ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ ❫ ▬▬ a.marin. *#↷ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ╱ A. MARIN.

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leftoverfear · 8 years ago

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“ you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen ” (for ashley)

this weekend was more than just a chance to get away for a while, and it was more than just an easy opportunity to get to hook up with theo whenever she wanted. it was a chance to really spend time with him —– to have a conversation with him without feeling like she had to keep her voice quiet or thinking she should stick strictly to appropriate conversation. theo was someone she had come to rely on, someone she found herself enjoying far too much. but even if this started as something she thought she couldn’t dwell on, she was beginning to think it might be okay to delve in a little deeper. she wanted to get to know him better, and she wanted to open up to him too. she wanted this weekend to be about getting CLOSER. and she certainly had no plans to remain clothed.

the event was picked strategically. most of their relationship had been sneaking around the house and in her office, never out in public. it was something she was starting to miss, and though she thought it didn’t matter to her, she was beginning to think it was necessary in a blossoming relationship. that was what she thought this was. it was what she WANTED it to be ( against all her previous thoughts. ) but she wanted to go all out —– a fancy grown, hair and make up done professionally, everything done up well in hopes to impress the man she was seeing. and she had done the same for him, setting him up with a tailor and getting him the perfect fitting suit. she already looked at him as a man, as someone far more mature than most his age. if she didn’t know any better, she certainly would have thought he was at least ten years older than he was. he had a maturity that ashley barely saw in men her own age. it was refreshing, and she refused to let go of it. seeing him in this suit was just going to help that thought.

she was caught off guard by his words, holding her breath without even noticing it as she looked back at him. her eyes were caught on his as she processed his words, completely forgetting about his own attire momentarily. she let out the breath, her lips curling into a smile as she nodded her head back at him. ❛ the MOST beautiful? ❜ she asked, brow raising as she slowly took a few steps closer to him, heels clicking against the floor with each step. ❛ oh, i’m not, i just —– wanted to look nice. i wanted this to be special for you. ❜ a curl hung in front of her face, and she moved it out of the way as she finally looked down his body. he looked much better than she had been imagining, and it was clear by he expression that she was certainly surprised —– and definitely grateful. ❛ you look —– ❜ she let out a small laugh, arms held out as she shook her head. she took a few steps closer, hands finding the opening of his suit jacket to hold onto gently. ❛ you look incredible, love. i didn’t realize the house boy could clean himself up so well. it’s a good thing you’re not living in the woods anymore —– this suit isn’t made for the dirty ground. ❜ she paused, lips curving into a smirk. ❛ —- a hotel floor? maybe, ❜ she added, tugging him in closer to her as she leaned in to press a slow kiss to his lips.

she almost didn’t want to pull away. it was all too tempting just to keep kissing him, to keep pushing it farther until they were on the kitchen floor as they had found themselves time and time again before. but that was what this weekend was all about —– they had all the time in the world to be as reckless as they wanted. right now, it was about their date. it was about going out as a couple and showing each other off to the world, like she had been craving for weeks now. her lips pulled away from him slowly, her eyes remaining closed for a few moments before she spoke. ❛ —- most beautiful? ❜ she repeated again, clearly still stunned by his choice of words as she smiled warmly back at him. ❛ if you’re looking to get some kind of prize for your smooth talk, then —— you might just be in luck. i have quite the weekend planned for you, ❜ she taunted, her hands sliding down his chest as she smiled down at him. ❛ you’re a very handsome man, mr. raeken. i’m so happy to call you mine, especially tonight, ❜ she whispered, leaning in to leave a brief kiss to his cheek before pulling back again.

❛ okay, our driver is waiting for us, we better go. you packed everything you need? ❜ of course, she didn’t pack all that much. she had every intention of staying in as much as possible once they were back to the hotel after their outing tonight, and she was sure he was well aware of that too.

░▒ @nctafailure

#nctafailure #░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ᵐᵉᵐᵉ 」#░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ 」#░ ━ ჻ ashley / theo「 ᵖᵛˑ ᶰᶜᵗᵃᶠᵃᶦᶫᵘʳᵉ 」#░ ━ ჻ queue. *#▌°.・❪ ᵐᵉᵐᵉ ❫ ▬ a. marin *#░ °.・❪ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ ❫ ▬▬ a.marin. *#↷ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ╱ A. MARIN.

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leftoverfear · 8 years ago

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“i can’t breathe, i can’t –”

she lifted her hand back as quickly as she had placed it on his chest. the warm, calming nature that was once written in her eyes was now one of shock and fear as she saw how he had reacted to the touch. it was usually easy with him —– they were comfortable enough with one another, hands always on the other in some form or another. and it was instinct for ashley to place her hand against her man’s chest as she leaned into him. since it never seemed to be a problem for him recently, she never thought anything of it until now. she wasn’t even convinced that it was the specific touch at all that set him off. she could only assume it was any touch in general, clearly he was on edge about something she was unaware of in the moment.

❛ theo —— i didn’t mean to . . . ❜ didn’t mean to what? she wasn’t sure what had happened to him or what she could have done to avoid it. there was a whole other world theo was living in that ashley had no clue about. and as close as she thought she was to him, she was far off. her apology wasn’t what was important right now; what mattered was calming him down and making him comfortable again. quickly getting up from her seat next to him, she moved over to the sink to grab him a drink of water. she rushed back over to him, setting it next to him for whenever he could handle it.

❛ it’s okay, hunny, i’m here. i’m right here. i’m with you, ❜ she said, doing her best to speak clearly as she moved to sit in front of him. her hands reached out, but she didn’t touch him ( she still feared that her touch was what set him off to begin with. ) she would do anything not to make this WORSE for him. taking a deep breath, she hoped he would follow her lead. ❛ breathe, theo. deep breath in, deep breath out. ❜ it wasn’t unusual for her to try to help someone out of something like this. her daughter had been through much more strife than anyone her age should ever see in their life time. still, she always felt powerless when she was trying to help her daughter —– like she could never be enough to get her through it, or that there was no way to protect her from everything. maybe that was true, but she was so tired of being powerless. all she wanted was to be something the people she cared about NEEDED.

and she cared about theo.

much more than she ever planned to —– he had become someone she genuinely trusted and relied on. they were TOGETHER, not in a way that was casual or in a way that was all for fun. it was so much more than that. she looked towards her future and saw him there with her —— as much as her mind was telling her that was a bad idea. but they had already been through so much together ( he was the reason she wasn’t in PRISON for life. ) and now he lived with her, whether or not he was allowed to sleep in her room. he was here. he was a CONSTANT in her life she refused to let go of now.

❛ think about something CALM. your mind is not here right now, ❜ she told him, sensing that whatever was going on in his mind was now consuming all of his thoughts and his actions. she took another deep breath in and out to try to convince him to do the same. ❛ you’re at ashley’s. you’re —– ❜ she paused, gulping. ❛ you’re home. this is your home. ❜ it was. she had no intentions of kicking him out anytime soon. she liked having him here. she felt safe, she felt like she was never going to find herself in a situation like she was just weeks ago. and she felt like her daughter was safe too, and that was more important than anything. he was exactly the kind of man of the house she had always wanted.

❛ you’re at home ——- it’s okay. nothing bad is happening to you. you’re with me, your girlfriend, ❜ she said, closing her eyes briefly as she hoped anything she was saying was WORKING. ❛ can you talk to me? can you look at me? i’m not trying to hurt you. you don’t have to worry about me or anyone here or anything. i’m just here to take care of you, ❜ she assured him, head dipping slightly in hopes to get in front of his stare. ❛ hunny, you’re going to be okay. you’re going to get through this. i’m not leaving you. ❜

▐░▒ @nctafailure

#nctafailure #theo deserves better than this but i am trying my best #░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ 」#░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ᵐᵉᵐᵉ 」#▌°.・❪ ᵐᵉᵐᵉ ❫ ▬ a. marin *#░ °.・❪ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ ❫ ▬▬ a.marin. *#↷ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ╱ A. MARIN.

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leftoverfear · 8 years ago

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“some things are better left alone but thanks for your concern.” (for ashley)

she didn’t want it to be that way. she wanted a way she could always ensure his safety and to HELP HIM if he was ever having any trouble. she didn’t know enough about him, and maybe that was part of the problem. this had all started so quickly, and there were so many reasons they shouldn’t delve into it —— yet she couldn’t help herself, and the boy was as persuasive as anyone who could take advantage of just how naive ashley could be. it had become much more than her having a little FUN and relaxing ( as theo had always pushed for. ) it had become a necessity in her life. she relied on theo far too much, even she knew she was pushing too many of her own boundaries. she falling for him, but how was that fair? she didn’t know him. she didn’t know enough about him to even feel the things she did —– yet her heart seemed to race whenever he entered the room, and she knew it wasn’t just from the excitement of it all. it wasn’t because of the secret they held, and it wasn’t because she was scared of it all unraveling. it was because this was a man she genuinely felt comfortable with. and more than that, she felt SAFE. that was something so difficult for her to find lately —– every guy she had been with had only hurt her in some way or used her for their own pleasures ( she didn’t think theo was that way. she didn’t want him to be. )

❛ some things aren’t, ❜ she responded, offering a small shrug of her shoulders as she stepped closer to him, hands reaching for his and holding them both loosely in hers. ❛ it’s more than just concern, theo —– you’re living under my roof. you and i, we’re involved. ❜ that seemed to be the easiest way to put it. she didn’t know how else to label it. she couldn’t call him her boyfriend; she wasn’t even sure if that was what she was looking for. and if it was, she certainly couldn’t look for it in a high school student, even if he was of age and clearly much more advanced than any of his peers. ❛ i care about you. ❜ that hadn’t been a secret. ❛ i want to know that you’re okay, that i’m doing everything i can to help you —– with whatever is going on, ❜ she insisted, taking a deep breath as she stepped closer again. one hand left his to move up to his cheek, thumb brushing against his jaw lightly. ❛ i don’t think it’s going to be easy for me to leave you alone. this thing between us is much BIGGER than i imagined it to be. i need to know what i can do for you. ❜ she couldn’t simply drop it. she wanted to be there for him; she wanted to show her love in a more acceptable manner than speaking the words.

@nctafailure.

#nctafailure #░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ 」#░ ━ ჻ a.marin「 ᵐᵉᵐᵉ 」#░ ━ ჻ ashley / theo「 ᵖᵛˑ ᶰᶜᵗᵃᶠᵃᶦᶫᵘʳᵉ 」#▌°.・❪ ᵐᵉᵐᵉ ❫ ▬ a. marin *#░ °.・❪ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ ❫ ▬▬ a.marin. *#↷ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ╱ A. MARIN.

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leftoverfear · 8 years ago

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“why didn’t you tell me?” (for ashley)

she hadn’t been expecting tom, not that it would ever stop him from showing up before. this just happened sometimes, and it was always okay with her. even if she had fallen out of love with him, they always seemed to find their way back to each other ——- stuck on old habits, fooling around with one another as if it was normal. but it was never okay, yet ashley never found a way to stop herself from making that bad mistake. this time, she didn’t know why he was here, and she didn’t have a good excuse as to why she couldn’t be with him. ( he couldn’t sleep in her bed. they couldn’t pretend that all was well and play as if their relationship never ended. )

ashley was in a relationship. hanna didn’t know that, her friends didn’t know that, she wasn’t even sure theo knew that. it didn’t matter —– whether or not this started out as just a fling, it had become something MORE. she cared about theo and wanted the best for him. in the beginning, it was the kind of care that she was simply just looking out for him, but her fondness of him grew. he started supporting her more than she ever expected him to, even when she knew it was best that he didn’t. she counted on him, she relied on him, and her feelings for him now were far past the point of no return.

she couldn’t fall back into old patterns with tom. she was with theo now.

but how do you tell your ex husband that there’s an eighteen year old homeless boy living in your basement where you sneak down to each night to kiss him goodnight?

she wasn’t concerned about what was going on with tom. she was only concerned about what was going through theo’s head. she didn’t want him to think that she had invited him here or that she was getting back together with him, or anything that he probably wasn’t concerned about at all, but ashley’s mind was in overdrive worrying about anything that could possibly go wrong. something always went wrong when tom was here, and it was too often her fault. she didn’t want that to happen this time, not when she had something to lose.

❛ i —- i didn’t because there wasn’t anything to tell, theo, ❜ she spoke calmly, as opposed to how she felt with her head and her heart racing. ❛ i didn’t know he was coming. he does this sometimes, when he and isabel —– i mean, his wife —– when they fight. but it’s different this time, i’ve never been involved with someone when he came to visit. i AM now. he’s going to have to deal with that. ❜

one hand reached for his, the other moving over the back of his hand to rest on it. ❛ if anything, he’ll be gone in a few days. we’ll just have to deal with him while he’s here. but —— that doesn’t mean we’ll have to suffer, ❜ she told him, a smile curving on her lips as she took a step closer to him. the hand over top of his moved to his forehead, fingers brushing his hair back slightly. ❛ he drives me crazy sometimes, you know. ❜ remembering all the bad things he had put her head through often dragged her down. ❛ so i’m going to need a distraction from it all. think you can take care of me, hun? ❜ she asked, leaning forward to press her lips to his cheek. ❛ because i know i can take care of you, ❜ she whispered, her lips brushing against his jaw before pulling back.

❛ now —– we’re having dinner tonight. you’re invited, you live here. but one thing, ❜ she started, tilting her head up slightly. ❛ sit next to me. i’ll need you there next to me, okay? make sure we can make that happen. i don’t care what it takes —– find a way. ❜ she needed a hand to hold. she needed someone next to her to exchange a look with every now and then just to find some sort of calmness. theo always did that for her.

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