#▌✤ ❝ i broke the world for us‚ and i’d do it again in an undead heartbeat ➽ delilah b. — & sylas
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Why are you still posting about Good Omens when Neil Gaiman is a sexual predator
My answer’s going to be slightly long, so I just want to preface this with this - Neil Gaiman is an awful, horrible man, and I’m horrified by his actions. I do not support or condone what he’s done, and even before this news broke, I wasn’t a ‘fan’ of Gaiman himself, due to his own works such as Stardust and Coraline directly linking to negative childhood experiences. Please understand that the only time I will ever refer to that man in a post again will be if I tag ‘fuck Neil Gaiman’ because really, fuck him, I get angry even thinking about what he did.
Yes, I do still post about Good Omens, but only because Terry Pratchett was responsible for around 75% of writing the original book, whilst Gaiman was responsible for only 25%, I’m not sure if that’s the exact statistics, but I know that Pratchett did more work for the book than Gaiman, and I like Pratchett because he wrote the book that the first play my childhood drama group did was based on. He’s the only original creator that I still respect.
For more personal reasons - I discovered Good Omens in around 2023, at a time where I was still trying to make friends at school - I met some of my best friends through discovering Good Omens, then I properly discovered Doctor Who through David Tennant, which led me to meet another really close friend and be inspired to write more fanfiction as well as post here on Tumblr. Good Omens has been too important to my life and my development in terms of socialising to just ignore. In fact, for my seventeenth birthday last year, my gifts were mostly Good Omens themed - I received the book, the script book, the tv companion, a pin badge, and stickers from Shein that I refuse to touch because they’re stolen fan art. I’m currently looking at a Good Omens signed poster - another birthday gift - thankfully not bearing the name Gaiman, and this was all before testimonies against him were released, none of us knew.
Also, the people in the Good Omens fandom are so wonderful and talented - the cosplayers, the artists, the fanfic writers, the people who make meta posts theorising about small details, their work is extraordinary and I just want to celebrate them. My Tumblr blog is half my own thoughts, and half me reblogging people who deserve all the praise in the world for their contributions to the internet; this is the show and tell website, and if I love something, I want to reblog it to show the world.
I never meant to hurt or offend anyone, so if there’s anything I can do, like making it clear that I don’t support Neil Gaiman, or putting a trigger warning on any reblogged posts, or even just apologising as profusely as I can, let me know because I’ll do anything to ensure that anyone who comes across my blog is happy (I’ve been a people-pleaser for my whole life, I don’t like upsetting people). I know this has been a bit of a ramble, I just felt that you deserve a proper and honest explanation as an answer to your completely valid question. If you want to unfollow me or block my posts, I’d completely understand, your decision would be completely warranted. Again, I’m sorry for any hurt I’ve caused, and I hope you have a good day/evening.
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I’m gonna challenge my subconscious to a fist fight and I’m gonna lose
#i had a dream that mabel kept coming back to life just to sniff stuff or investigate food that she liked#she was still dead but i’d buried her instead of cremating her and for whatever reason i was either digging her up#or she was digging herself up and sniffing and eating stuff#and i was like ‘she’s CLEARLY still alive if she can do this’ and everyone was like ‘no she’s dead you have to bury her again’#whenever she fell asleep she would be dead again. like she’d stop breathing and her heart would stop#i don’t know if she was like. a vampire dog? but it was so upsetting to dream#this is the second sad dream i’ve had about mabel in the course of like 3 days.. no less because the last one made me wake up in tears#on friday morning. and like it’s brought me to my knees honestly. i can’t DO this#also in my dream i went to a careers advisor or life coach or something and they were really mean to me lol#and my family made me go with them to visit some people i didn’t know who insisted on serving us cups of tea#it was really strong hot tea and i don’t really drink tea like that#and my grandma’s friend who was the loveliest woman and died a few years ago was there#and she was just absolutely pouring milk in her tea even though it was overflowing and going everywhere#and mabel was there accosting their terriers even though she was supposed to be dead. it was too much#in another part of the dream my old roommafe (who i really didn’t like) was pressuring me to go drinking with her even though mabel had just#(dubiously) died. and i was like ‘you do realise i’m going to get absolutely paralytic and scream and cry about my dog the whole time’#there was also this subplot where like everyone i knew but me had been in a play and the stage makeup had been made from ‘magic beans’#that stained everyone blue. so everyone i met had randomly blue eyebrows and stuff#there was one man who was just fully blue#also i was supposed to be in the world championships for a game that was like tetris but more esoteric but the servers broke down#or something like that. i think that’s everything#i’m just like.. why make me bawl at 6:30 on a sunday morning. what’s the advantage of that#i’m supposed to be taking care of benji and he’s looking at me like ‘god this woman is a basket case’#his owner has colitis and chronic fatigue and she has her shit more together than me#personal
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I am the nail growth self saboteur!!
#random post#guess who rammed their hand in a wall and broke off the literal short nail on their hand?? this guyy#I’m prone to ramming parts of my body into things. it’s comical really#like a week ago I somehow bashed my hip into a drawer handle. because that’s how I roll 😎#it hurt bad enough to shock me into silence </3 I got scraped bad enough for my parents to go ‘GASP. PEAA!!!! WHAT DID YOU DOOO???’#read that in concerned parent voice if u would#it’s funny when I get hurt or do smth bad and I’m asked why I’d do that. like we both don’t know I function like a scarecrow brought to life#and learning to walk with no bones or muscles HHFSCREE#it’s fine now pain only hurts in like the first few moments and then it’s chill#got off topic there but anywayssss yea :> I’m just glad it was the one that was already broken an not a longer one#I’m surprisingly optimistic I’ll have u know. contrary to popular belief#adhd moment but do u ever think how we’re the first generation that will grow up and grow old on the internet?#do u ever think about what that’ll mean for us? or what it looks like? will there be a time when we just don’t log on ever again?#I also sometimes think of the internet graveyard. the millions of accounts that are no longer used either by choice or by some other#circumstance like passing away. I think we’ll only know when the future generations see a post by someone with a date 100 years in the past#these aren’t negative thought they’re just thoughts I have. a negative thought would be me wondering who will tell the world I’m gone so I’m#not waited on. obviously that’s not a problem I hate to worry about now but then intrusive thoughts do be intruding. anyways yea when I’m#gone at like. 80 (?) I’ll release my creations into the wild for people to do whatever with. it’ll be like an intrusive species lmfao my#impact on the world will be fucking up the online ecosystem forever#ok I’m done rambling now lol did you know I was holding a muffin while typing this entire thing? one handed I might add!! the chaos can’t#be contained no matter how much adderall u pump in me
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.
#grief rant in the tags time#losing your life partner at 25 is just. jesus christ#i’ve been most worried for kate with everything and i hope she has a good support system around her#also teardrops hits so different now. the way it ends so abruptly is so poignant#and midnight????#that’s the song that i had playing on loop when i met my ex and used to listen to it to cheer me up#it’s been a bit different since we broke up but it still made me smile and remember that life can feel good again#it’s just too bittersweet to feel anything even close to how it used to#his voice is so beautiful :( so strong :(((#he was so fucking talented dude and obviously this is just an assumption#but i really do feel like he WANTED to be better#again the thing of like. no amount of money can truly buy you out of your struggles#sure it gives you more of a fighting chance to access different forms of help that are out of reach for low income people#but it’s such another stark reminder that i’d learned myself that like. the kind of help that most addicts/bd2 people need#pretty much just doesn’t exist#makes recovery for myself feel scarier#i’d been feeling that since i got out of rehab in 2022 and this just reignites that all over again#i’m sorry the world did this to you liam. and i’m sorry you couldn’t get the help you needed#you’re so loved#i don’t love everything you did but that doesn’t mean you’re not still loved#ANYWAY GOD DAMN IT#hopefully therapy helps today lol#rowyn rambles
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⸻ ʙ ᴇ ʟ ᴏ ᴠ ᴇ ᴅ⸻
Pairing: Damian Wayne x Fem Reader Part 2
Headcanon: What if Damien's obsession continue even after you broke up with Dick? What if his obsession grow as he grow up?
Note: Reader is the same age as Dick. English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!
You never thought your life would look like this. Working in a small flower shop wasn’t what you dreamed of as a bright-eyed twenty-something in Gotham, but it was peaceful. You’d long since left the chaos of capes and vigilantes behind, including a certain acrobat who never could hold onto a girlfriend.
Now, at 33, you felt invisible. Your reflection in the mirror wasn’t what it used to be, and time had stolen some of the confidence you once had. You didn’t mind, though. You had your flowers, your little corner of the world, and the belief that love belonged to someone else’s story.
But then, there was him.
The first time he walked into the shop, you barely noticed him. Just another handsome guy buying flowers for some lucky person. It wasn’t unusual—flower shops brought in romantics, after all.
But then he came back.
And again.
And again.
Each time, he would only take flowers from you. If you weren’t behind the counter, he’d wait patiently, pretending to browse until you returned. If you were busy, he’d stand to the side, quiet and stoic, as though he had all the time in the world.
It became routine. He’d show up every Wednesday like clockwork, always choosing something simple—a bouquet of daisies, a handful of roses. He rarely spoke more than a few words. "I’ll take those." "How much for this?" "Thank you." His voice was low, smooth, almost hypnotic.
You didn’t think much of it. Maybe he was just particular. Maybe he liked the way you arranged the flowers. You didn’t dare entertain the idea that he might like you.
One day, as you were arranging tulips, your coworker Hannah nudged you with a mischievous grin.
“Have you noticed how Flower Guy only comes in when you’re here?”
You blinked. “What?”
“You know, the tall, handsome guy with black hair and green eyes? He’s got the whole brooding vibe going on. Like a tortured poet who secretly reads love sonnets at night.”
You laughed. “Hannah, please. He’s just a regular customer.”
“Oh, sure. Because regular customers stare at you like you hung the moon and only buy flowers from your hands. Totally normal.”
You rolled your eyes. “He doesn’t stare.”
“He does, though. It’s kinda romantic. Maybe he’s secretly in love with you.”
You snorted. “There’s no way. He’s probably got a girlfriend or a wife. Guys like him don’t…” You trailed off, shaking your head. “Anyway, I’m too old for him.”
Hannah scoffed. “You’re 33, not 83. And you’re gorgeous. I bet he’s into you.”
You brushed it off, but Hannah’s words stuck with you.
One Wednesday, he came in as usual, dressed in a worn leather jacket and dark jeans. His hair was slightly tousled, and he looked… well, annoyingly perfect, as always.
But this time, something was different. He didn’t just take his flowers and leave.
As you handed him a bouquet of sunflowers, he paused, his green eyes locking onto yours.
“You don’t remember me, do you?” he asked, his voice softer than usual.
You frowned, tilting your head. “Should I?”
He hesitated, a flicker of something unreadable passing over his face. “No. I suppose not.”
There was a long silence, and then he said, “Would you have dinner with me?”
Your brain short-circuited. “Excuse me?”
“Dinner. With me. I’d like to take you out.”
You blinked, genuinely stunned. “I… don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“I mean, you’re—” You gestured vaguely at him. “You. And I’m—” You gestured vaguely at yourself. “Me.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t follow.”
“You’re young. And handsome. And probably have women falling all over you. Why would you want to go out with someone like me?”
His jaw tightened. “You don’t see yourself clearly, do you?”
You laughed nervously. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but I’m not looking for anything. Thank you, though.”
He didn’t argue. He just nodded, took his flowers, and left.
He didn’t stop coming. If anything, he doubled down.
One week, he showed up looking disheveled, his jacket frayed, his shoes scuffed. When he handed you the money for his bouquet, you noticed it was crumpled, like it had been fished out of a couch cushion.
“Are you okay?” you asked, genuinely concerned.
He sighed heavily. “It’s been… a rough few months.”
“Oh?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, his expression pained. “Kicked out of work. Rent’s overdue. Been crashing on a friend’s couch.”
Your heart ached for him. “That sounds awful. I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s life.”
You couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Maybe that’s why, when he asked again if you’d have dinner with him, you hesitated before saying no.
But Damien was nothing if not persistent.
Eventually, you gave in. Mostly because he wouldn’t leave you alone.
“Fine,” you said one day, throwing your hands up. “One date. Just to get you to stop asking.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “I’ll pick you up at eight.”
That night, he showed up dressed sharply but not overly flashy, carrying a single rose. He held it out to you with a small smirk. “For you.”
The date was… perfect. Annoyingly perfect. He was charming, attentive, and surprisingly funny. He made you laugh more than you had in years, and by the end of the night, you found yourself wondering why you’d ever said no in the first place.
He never told you who he really was. Not that night, not the next, and not for months. But eventually, you pieced it together.
It happened when you were flipping through an old photo album, reminiscing about your time in Gotham. And there he was. A scowling 13-year-old boy glaring at the camera.
“Oh my God,” you muttered. “It’s him.”
When you confronted him about it, he didn’t even try to deny it. He just smirked, leaned back in his chair, and said, “Took you long enough.”
You stared at him in disbelief. “You knew me this whole time?”
“Of course.”
“And you didn’t think to mention it?”
He shrugged. “You didn’t remember me. I wanted a clean slate.”
You wanted to be mad, but the truth was… you didn’t regret giving him a chance.
By the time he kissed you for the first time, you realized that maybe, just maybe, love was still a part of your story after all.
Part 1. Part 3.
𝒍𝒖𝒗-𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌 ☆ 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔.
#🕊️. dc comics#ㅤㅤ⠀ㅤ 𓇼ㅤ ㅤ𓂂ㅤㅤ ˚ㅤㅤ ◌ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏#damian wayne x y/n#yandere damian wayne#damian wayne x you#damian x reader#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne#damian al ghul#yandere damian x reader#damian wayne x female reader#yandere dc x reader#yandere dc#dc x reader#dc comics#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batman x reader#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere batboys#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere male#yandere#yandere headcanons#tw.yandere#dc x female reader#yandere x y/n#batfam x fem reader#batfam
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WHAT IF I CANT HAVE US?
katsuki bakugou x reader
texts katsuki struggled to send you.
part 1/3
different than what i usually write, but i thought i’d try it out
inspired by down bad
11:06 pm
kats: hey, idiot
kats: i’m sorry
11:10 pm
kats: i messed up
kats: happy?
11:18 pm
kats: ok im sorry again
kats: i just got jealous when i heard you went out with icyhot, thats all
kats: i know im the one that broke up with you
kats: but that doesn’t mean i was okay with seeing you go out with some other guy
kats: i know thats fucking stupid you don’t need to tell me
12:01 am
kats: i know you’re still mad at me
kats: i shouldn’t have freaked out like that when i saw ur instagram story
kats: shitty hair’s making me type most of this shit btw
12:53 am
kats: ok we’re alone he went to bed
kats: i can see ur online
kats: do you still have me saved with ur dumbass nickname
kats: i kinda hope you do
1:02 am
kats: i regret not texting you more often
kats: im sorry i was so dry
kats: but you’re the only person i’d ever text back
kats: i actually liked hearing from you
kats: im sorry
1:17 am
kats: i broke up with us bc i wasn’t treating you right and i went home everyday feeling like a shitty boyfriend. you deserved better
kats: i did it for ur own good, idiot
kats: especially after what i did to you
kats: i can’t ever make that up
kats: the guilt was killing me
kats: and after that i knew you deserved more
kats: but i miss you
kats: and im sorry i didn’t tell you the truth
kats: i take back everything i said
2:00 am
kats: are you asleep?
kats: whatever you’ll read this in the morning
kats: you left your moisturizer here
kats: i wish i could call you. i fucking miss your voice. im sorry
2:49 am
kats: you know ur the only person i want
kats: theres literally no one else
kats: and idk what i’ll do if i can’t have us
kats: i was an idiot to let you go
kats: im sorry about freaking out about that half and half bastard but im so much better for you
kats: i make you laugh
kats: i bet you were faking it with him
kats: even if you weren’t. lie to me
kats: i miss you
3:33 am
kats: you’re the prettiest person i have ever seen
kats: did i tell you that enough?
kats: well i’ll tell you now
kats: even if you slam the door in my face i’ll still tell you ur beautiful idc
kats: you’re so pretty it makes me angry
kats: i saw a photo of you in my gallery
kats: my mom says she misses you
3:51 am
kats: is ur apartment cold
kats: im sorry i never fixed your heater
kats: i should’ve made the time
kats: but i liked when you came to me for warmth
kats: maybe i didn’t fix it on purpose
kats: if you don’t take me back i’ll still fix it
kats: i love you like that
4:04 am
katsuki (do not answer) : have i told you that enough? that i love you?
katsuki (do not answer): im sorry
katsuki (do not answer): for not telling you i love you enough
katsuki (do not answer): for not telling you how god damn pretty you are
katsuki (do not answer): for not buying you flowers
katsuki (do not answer): for not treating you how i should have
katsuki (do not answer): i know i messed up
katsuki (do not answer): but i wanna make it right
katsuki (do not answer): you’re my whole fucking world
katsuki (do not answer): and i do love you
katsuki (do not answer): so open the door, im outside
part two soon! 🪽
#katsuki bakugo mha#bnha bakugo x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugo katuski#bnha kirishima#bnha shinsou#bnha todoroki#bnha manga spoilers#bnha oc#boku no academia#bnha fanart#bnha x reader#mha manga spoilers#mha todoroki#mha roleplay#mha dabi#mha#mha x reader#my hero x reader#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero acedamia#bnha deku#bnha#boku no hero acedamia#my hero academia
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birds of a feather
"i knew you in another life" "you had that same look in your eyes" "i love you, don’t act so surprised"
pairings: percy jackson x fem!reader
warnings/tags: none. tooth rotting fluff. established relationship.
summary: "i love you in every universe."
the warm afternoon sun filtered through the trees, casting a dappled pattern of light and shadow over the grassy clearing. the air was filled with the sweet scent of wildflowers, and the gentle hum of bees buzzed around the two of you as you sat cross-legged on the soft grass, your fingers deftly weaving a colorful flower crown. percy lay with his head in your lap, his eyes closed, a peaceful smile playing on his lips. his dark hair felt soft under your touch as you carefully arranged the flowers, making sure each one was placed just right.
the two of you had stolen away to this hidden spot, far from the hustle and bustle of camp half-blood. it was your secret sanctuary, a place where the both of you could escape from the chaos of your lives as demigods and simply be yourselves. as you worked on his flower crown, you found myself lost in the simple, soothing rhythm of the task.
percy’s voice broke the comfortable silence, soft and contemplative. "do you think parallel universes are real?"
you paused, your fingers stilling for a moment as you considered his question. "i don’t know," you admitted, your focus still on the flowers in your hands. "maybe. there’s a lot we don’t understand about the universe."
percy opened his eyes and looked up at you, his sea-green eyes thoughtful. "i’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. about how there could be other versions of us out there, living different lives."
you nodded absently, selecting a bright yellow daisy and adding it to the crown. "it’s a nice idea. infinite possibilities and all that."
he reached up and took your hand, his touch warm and grounding. "do you think we’d still find each other? in those other universes?"
his question caught you off guard, and you looked down at him, your heart skipping a beat. there was something earnest and vulnerable in his expression that made your chest tighten with emotion.
"i don’t know," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "i’d like to think so."
percy’s smile widened, and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. "i think we would. no matter what."
you tilted your head, curiosity piqued. "how do you know?"
he shifted slightly, turning so that he could look up at you more easily. "because i love you," he said simply. "and my love for you is so strong, so pure, that i can’t imagine any version of me not feeling the same way. it’s like... like a universal constant."
you felt heat rise to your cheeks, and you looked away, focusing on the flower crown to hide your embarrassment. "that’s... really sweet, percy."
"i’m serious," he insisted. "i believe that in every universe, i would find you. and i would love you just as much as i do now."
you could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it made your heart swell with affection. you finished the last few touches on the flower crown and gently placed it on his head, the colorful blossoms a stark contrast to his dark hair.
"there," you said, smiling down at him. "perfect."
percy reached up to touch the crown, his fingers brushing against the petals. "thank you," he said softly. "for everything."
you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, feeling the warmth of his skin against your lips. "i don't think i could love you any more than i already do," you said quietly. "i think i’d love you till the day i die."
he closed his eyes again, his expression one of utter contentment. "that’s all i need to hear."
you stayed like that for a while, the world around you fading into the background. in that moment, it didn’t matter what dangers awaited you outside your little sanctuary, or what challenges you would have to face as demigods. all that mattered was the here and now, and the love the two of you shared.
and maybe, just maybe, percy was right. maybe your love was a universal constant, something that would endure no matter what. it was a comforting thought, one that made you believe in the possibility of parallel universes and the idea that you would always find each other, no matter what.
as the sun began to set, painting the sky with hues of pink and orange, you knew that this moment would be etched in your memory forever. because in every universe, in every possible reality, you knew one thing for certain: you would always love percy jackson.
#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#pjo#hoo#pjo hoo toa#pjo fandom#hoo fandom#pjo series#hoo series#pjo tv show#pjo disney+#pjo x reader#hoo x reader#percy jackson#percy jackson fanfiction#percy jackson fic#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson x you#percy jackson imagine#percy jackson smut#billie eilish#hit me hard and soft#birds of a feather#spotify
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A gentle embrace
Pairing: Kang Dae-ho x Reader
Word Count: ~2,500
Warnings: Discussions of an emotionally abusive parent, mentions of childhood trauma, intense emotional vulnerability, hurt/comfort, crying, and heavy themes surrounding family and past relationships.
A/N: taking requests!
Summary: One quiet night, Kang Dae-ho breaks down in your arms, overwhelmed by memories of his father and his complicated family history. As his girlfriend, you do everything you can to comfort and ground him, showing him that he is loved and cherished despite the scars of his past.
The room was bathed in the soft glow of the bedside lamp, casting long, warm shadows across the walls. Outside, the night was quiet, save for the occasional chirp of crickets. You were both tangled in bed, your legs entwined under the covers, your arms wrapped securely around Dae-ho as he nestled into your chest.
The weight of his head against you was familiar, comforting even, but tonight there was a heaviness to his presence, an unspoken tension that you could feel in the way he clung to you. His large frame trembled slightly, and as your fingers carded through his soft, messy hair, you noticed the shallow, uneven rhythm of his breathing.
“Dae?” you whispered, your voice gentle as you tilted your head to look at him. “What’s wrong, love?”
He didn’t answer immediately, his face buried against your chest as if he could shield himself from the world. His arms tightened around your waist, holding you like you were the only thing keeping him afloat.
“Dae-ho,” you tried again, your tone patient and soothing. “Talk to me, baby. Please.”
A shuddering breath escaped him, and you felt the first warm tear dampen the fabric of your shirt.
“I-I don’t even know where to start,” he choked out, his voice thick with emotion.
Your heart broke at the sound of his pain. You had always known that Dae-ho’s relationship with his father was a sensitive subject, one he rarely spoke about in detail. From what you had pieced together, his dad had been a harsh, overbearing man who had left deep emotional scars on Dae-ho.
“It’s okay,” you murmured, running your fingers through his hair again and letting your nails gently scratch his scalp in a way you knew he found calming. “Take your time, my love. I’m right here.”
He sniffled, his breath hitching as he tried to find the words. “I just… I keep thinking about him. About how he used to treat me. The things he said. The things he didn’t say.”
You hummed softly, your other hand sliding down to his back, where you began tracing slow, soothing patterns. You could feel the tension in his muscles, the way he seemed to be holding himself together by sheer force of will.
“He was never proud of me,” Dae-ho whispered, his voice cracking. “No matter what I did, it was never enough. If I succeeded, he’d find something to criticize. If I failed… he’d make sure I knew just how much of a disappointment I was.”
Your chest tightened at his words, but you didn’t interrupt, letting him pour out the thoughts he had clearly kept bottled up for far too long.
“I-I tried so hard to make him happy,” he continued, his tears soaking through your shirt now. “I thought if I just worked harder, if I just proved myself, maybe he’d finally see me. But he didn’t care. He never cared.”
“Dae-ho…” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion as your heart ached for him.
His hand clutched at your side, his grip desperate. “Do you know what he said to me before I left for college? He said I’d never amount to anything. That I’d just end up like—like…” His voice broke completely, and he let out a gut-wrenching sob, pressing his face harder against your chest as if he could disappear into you.
“Oh, sweetheart,” you breathed, cradling his head gently as your thumb brushed against his temple. “I’m so, so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that.”
He shook his head against you, his sobs wracking his body. “I hate him,” he confessed, his voice raw and broken. “I hate him for how he treated me. But sometimes… sometimes I hate myself for still wanting his approval. For still wishing he’d just—just tell me he was proud of me.”
Your heart shattered at his confession, and you tightened your arms around him, holding him as close as possible. “Dae-ho, listen to me,” you said softly but firmly, your fingers continuing their soothing motions through his hair. “There is nothing wrong with wanting that. It’s human to want love and approval, especially from someone who’s supposed to give it unconditionally. But what he did to you? The way he treated you? That’s not on you. That’s on him.”
He didn’t respond, his tears soaking into your skin, but you felt his grip on you tighten even more, as if your words were the lifeline he desperately needed.
“Baby,” you continued, your voice trembling with emotion, “you are kind, you are strong, and you are so, so loved. Not because of what you do or don’t do, but because of who you are. And if he couldn’t see that… that’s his failure. Not yours.”
His sobs slowly began to subside, though his breathing was still shaky and uneven. You pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head, your lips lingering there as you whispered, “I’m so proud of you, Dae-ho. I hope you know that. Every single day, I’m proud to call you mine.”
He pulled back slightly then, just enough to look up at you with red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. The vulnerability in his gaze was almost too much to bear, but you met it with nothing but love and unwavering support.
“You mean that?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course I do,” you replied, brushing a tear from his cheek with your thumb. “I’ve never meant anything more in my life.”
He let out a shaky breath, his shoulders slumping as some of the tension finally began to leave his body. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he murmured, his voice filled with awe and gratitude.
You smiled softly, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “You don’t have to do anything to deserve love, Dae-ho. You just have to let yourself accept it.”
His eyes filled with fresh tears at your words, but this time, there was a hint of relief in them, a glimmer of hope breaking through the pain.
“I love you,” he whispered, his voice trembling but sincere.
“I love you too,” you replied, your voice steady and full of conviction. “More than you’ll ever know.”
He buried his face in your chest again, his arms wrapping around you as if he never wanted to let go. You continued to hold him, your fingers threading through his hair and tracing patterns on his back until his breathing evened out and the tension in his body fully relaxed.
As the night wore on, the two of you remained entwined, your hearts beating in sync. And though the wounds of his past would never fully disappear, you knew that together, you could face anything.
For the first time in a long time, Dae-ho allowed himself to truly feel the depth of his pain—and in your arms, he found the safety and love he needed to begin to heal.
#kang dae ho x reader#kang dae ho#kang dae ho angst#squid game 2 x reader#squid game x reader#squid game 2#squid game#angst with comfort
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I’d like to point out this man’s insane hotness🥵
Also… imagine needing a place to sit and Bucky tells you to sit on his lap😍
I've been sitting on this one for ages, Shannon, I'm sorry! But I was waiting for a storyline that truly swept me away because this look and the potential for this moment couldn't be squandered if I was going to take a stab at it...
Poison Blood from the Wound of the Pricked Hand
Characters/Pairings: Post TFATWS!Bucky x curvy!Millennial Female!Reader Word Count: 3k Summary: You've made a life-altering decision, and even though it feels like the only choice you could have made, you hope it's the right one, and you hope the man you're being forced to rely on tonight will help you accomplish what you need to, or else your life could be at stake - not to mention the safety of so many others.
Content/Warnings: intense physical intimicy, but no actual smut (I know, shocker)
Author Notes: Possibly the last piece for the Deliciously Debauched Labor Day Weekend! And, yes late, but the final piece to complete out my collection for @buckybarnesevents Hot Bucky Summer - week twelve "what should I wear?"
↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
“How are things going in there?” Bucky called loudly to you.
“Um…” There was a long pause, before you called back, “Fine.”
You glanced at the clock.
You knew at this rate you were going to make the two of you late. But that only ate at you more. You weren’t trying to cause problems.
Or, rather, you weren’t trying to cause more problems. You already felt like a walking liability.
All you had tried to do was get out of the danger of your brother’s organization.
You had finally gone to the authorities, looking to make some kind of deal for safety, maybe witness protection, you didn’t know exactly how these things worked, only that you had to leave.
But evidently things had been even worse and more complicated than you knew, and the price for safety had come with strings.
They needed more information, and they saw you as a means to be able to get it.
And so they’d dangled a deal that required you to play your part as a trusted member of the family one more time.
You had only been gone for just over twenty-four hours, so it wasn’t likely that your brother would suspect your defection yet. But it was so recent that you still felt unsettled over whether you’d made the right decision - especially now that it wasn’t a clean break and you were being used be the people you expected to be the good guys.
“Are you sure?” Bucky’s voice broke through your thoughts again.
You shook your head. Since he was in the other room, there was no danger in him seeing your doubt and uncertainty.
Of all the moving parts in this scheme, Bucky was possibly the only piece you thought you might be able to trust. His reputation preceded him as someone more than capable of handling any dangerous situation, but he also seemed to harbor a question in his mind over working this operation and trusting the government agencies who had a hand in this.
You sighed, then bit your lip. The clock ticked relentlessly, each second a reminder of your indecision. Your eyes darted between two outfits laid out on the bed, both chosen with care but now seeming woefully inadequate for the task ahead.
You sighed, your eyes darting between the two outfits laid out on the bed. One was a sleek black dress, form-fitting and elegant, with a high neckline and long sleeves that would conceal the nervous goosebumps prickling your skin. The other, a tailored pantsuit in deep navy, exuded an air of professionalism and confidence you wished you felt.
Both outfits were carefully chosen to blend in at the high-stakes charity gala where you'd be making your reappearance in your brother's world. But which one would better sell the lie? Which one would make you look like you hadn't just betrayed everything you'd ever known?
You ran your fingers over the cool silk of the dress, then the crisp wool of the suit jacket. The clock's incessant ticking seemed to grow louder with each passing moment, mocking your indecision.
You needed to look like your old self, the trusted sister, and you’d worn clothes just like these a hundred times before. But now?
And with the added caveat of needing to have a brand new man on your arm and sell that he was a valid new part of your life, too?
You grabbed both hangers and went out into the living room of your apartment where Bucky had been patiently waiting for you.
Bucky's eyes widened slightly as you emerged from the bedroom, clothes in hand. He was sitting on the couch, hands in his lap, already dressed in a sharp looking suit with leather lapels - edgy but impressive. For a moment, you were struck by how different he looked from the dangerous operative turned superhero you knew him to be. He looked like he could effortlessly blend into the opulent setting you expected tonight.
"I can't decide," you admitted, your voice hesitant. "Which one do you think would be more… convincing?"
Bucky's gaze flickered between the two outfits, then back to your face. His expression softened, and you saw a glimmer of understanding in his eyes.
"The dress," he said after a moment. "It's more in line with what you'd typically wear to these events, right? We don't want to raise any suspicions by changing your style too drastically."
You nodded, grateful for his insight. "You're right. Thank you."
As you turned to go back to the bedroom, Bucky's voice stopped you. "Hey," he said softly, his blue eyes searching your face. "We don't have to do this if you're not ready."
For a moment, you were tempted to take the out he was offering. To tell him you couldn't go through with it, that you'd made a mistake. But then you thought of your brother, of all the people he'd hurt, and you steeled yourself.
"No, I can do this. Besides,” you thought of all the things you’d learned in different meetings and conversations and reports today, “this is our best chance to get the information we need to bring him and the rest of the organization down.”
“But it doesn’t have to be you,” he insisted.
You tilted your head and smiled sadly. “But it should be.” They had been planning to try and infiltrate tonight’s gala before you had presented yourself, but with you, you were practically a golden ticket into the event and into so many more of the areas once inside.
Bucky nodded, a mix of admiration and concern in his eyes. "Alright. But remember, I'll be right there with you the whole time. If anything feels off, just give me the signal and we're out of there."
You nodded, grateful for his reassurance. As you headed back to the bedroom to change, you couldn't help but wonder how convincing you and Bucky would be as a couple. You'd only known each other for a day, and while he seemed kind and protective, there was still so much mystery surrounding him.
As you undressed, you tried to calm your racing thoughts. You'd been to countless events like this before, schmoozing with the elite and corrupt. But never as a double agent, never with the weight of so many lives hanging in the balance, and certainly not since discovering the secret that had shattered your world and opened up your eyes to the fact that everything your brother was involved in was corrupt and dangerous.
As you slipped into the black dress, you couldn't help but feel like you were putting on armor for battle. The silk clung to your skin, cool and familiar, yet somehow foreign now. You zipped it up, fingered the neckline, then pressed your hand to your heart and took a deep breath.
In the mirror, you saw the woman you used to be—poised, elegant, the perfect sister to a powerful man. But your eyes betrayed you, filled with a storm of emotions you'd have to learn to hide in the next few minutes.
You applied your makeup with practiced precision, each stroke of mascara and swipe of lipstick another layer of protection, of disguise. Once satisfied with your appearance, you squared your shoulders, and put the lipstick in your clutch.
You emerged from the bedroom, smoothing down the fabric of your dress. “I’m ready.”
Bucky’s eyes roamed over you appreciatively, and you felt something pool in your stomach - the attraction to this man you’d been trying to ignore since you’d been introduced to him early this morning. You could not have a crush on this man who was supposed to infiltrate your brother’s organization with you, steal information, and try and get both of you out safely.
It would be too much of a distraction.
Bucky's lips quirked into a small smile.
“What?” you asked, suspicious.
“You forgot your shoes,” he said simply.
You looked down and sighed.
“Nervous?” he asked, his tone kind, soft.
"Bucky," you said, looking back at him, "how are we supposed to explain your presence? Won't my brother be suspicious of a new man in my life?"
"We've got a cover story. I'm a potential new investor in your brother's 'business ventures.' You met me at a networking event last week and thought I'd be a good fit for tonight's gala."
You raised an eyebrow. "And you just happened to sweep me off my feet?”
"Something like that," Bucky replied with a roguish smile. "We'll keep it vague - a whirlwind romance, sparks flying. Your brother will be more focused on the potential investment than on our relationship."
You nodded, trying to quell the butterflies in your stomach. It wasn't just nerves about the mission now; the idea of pretending to be swept off your feet by Bucky wasn't entirely unpleasant.
"Right," you said, forcing yourself to focus. "I'll just go grab those shoes."
You hurried back to the bedroom, slipping on a pair of elegant black heels. As you turned to leave, your eyes fell on a framed photo on the nightstand - you and your brother at last year's gala, both smiling widely. Your stomach churned. How had you been so blind?
Taking a deep breath, you pushed the guilt down and away. You needed to do this. There was no other path in your mind now that you knew the truth. Your eyes flicked from the frame to the luggage packed next to your door. When you’d left yesterday, you hadn’t taken anything with you, not wanting to draw suspicion. With this return to your place and the cover of being swept into something with Bucky, it gave you the cover to pack some of your things - luggage that was being picked up and taken care of for you by one of this “rich investor’s” staff to go with you on a two-week vacation to a private island in the Phillippines. It was a perfect cover, provided you could sell it.
He was so handsome, with his dark hair styled perfectly and his strong jawline. Still sitting on the couch, he radiated confidence and charm, making it easy to see why he was chosen for this mission. You couldn't help but feel slightly nervous under his intense gaze.
Bucky's eyes flicked over your ensemble. "You look beautiful," he said, his voice low and husky.
Your heart skipped a beat at the compliment, feeling self-conscious under his scrutiny. "Thank you," you replied shyly.
You’d been so worried about all the other logistics of tonight, you hadn’t thought about the believability of you and Bucky until now.
“Come here,” he said, holding a hand out to you. You crossed the room and took it, gasping as he pulled you down to sit across his lap.
“Bucky,” you protested, insecure about sitting all of your plus-sized body in his lap. You had never been comfortable with your few previous partners in this situation, but he pressed one cool vibranium finger to your lips, while his other hand moved softly up and down your back.
“Don’t be nervous,” he whispered. “You’ll need to look comfortable around me when I touch you, and if your brother is going to believe you’ve agreed to go away with me tonight, I can’t touch you for the first time while we’re there.”
You nodded. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, and you shivered.
You felt a flush creep up your neck as Bucky's lips brushed your cheek. His touch was gentle, almost reverent, but you could feel the strength in his arms as he held you. You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself further. He seemed unconcerned, even happy to hold all of you, and the contrast between his warm flesh hand and the cool metal of his other arm sent tingles down your spine.
"Is this okay?" he murmured against your skin, his breath hot on your neck.
You nodded, not trusting your voice. Your heart was racing, and you weren't sure if it was from nerves about the mission or the proximity of this dangerously attractive man.
Bucky's hand traced lazy circles on your back, and you found yourself relaxing into his touch despite your better judgment. "We need to look natural together," he explained softly. "Like we can't keep our hands off each other. It'll sell the whirlwind romance angle."
You swallowed hard, trying keep it together.
Bucky's hand continued its soothing motion up and down your back, and you found yourself leaning into his touch despite your better judgment.
"Tell me more about your brother," Bucky said softly. "What should I expect?"
You tensed slightly at the mention of your brother, but Bucky's steady presence kept you grounded. "He's… charming," you began, choosing your words carefully. "Charismatic. He can make anyone feel like the most important person in the room. But there's always an agenda behind it."
Bucky nodded, his fingers still tracing patterns on your back. "And how does he usually react to you bringing someone new around?"
You sighed, leaning your head against Bucky's shoulder. "He's protective. Suspicious. I haven’t brought many men around. He'll probably try to get you alone, size you up."
"I can handle that," Bucky assured you, his voice low and confident.
You lifted your head to look at him, suddenly struck by how close your faces were. His blue eyes were intense, searching yours. "Bucky," you whispered, "what if I can't pull this off?"
His hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing softly across your skin. "We will," he said firmly. It didn’t escape your notice that he’d said we, not allowing you to feel alone. "You're stronger than you think, and I've got your back.”
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself. "Underneath that charm, he's calculating. Always looking for an angle, a way to use people. And he's dangerous when he feels threatened."
Before, you hadn’t questioned his cold side, thought it to usually be warranted, protective of you and the family and his organization. But now you knew better, illusion shattered.
Bucky nodded, his expression grave. "I'll be on high alert," he assured you. "We'll have to make sure he sees me as an asset, not a threat. But remember, we're not there to confront him tonight. Just to gather information."
"Right," you said, trying to calm your racing heart. "Just information."
Bucky's hand resumed landed on your thigh, and he squeezed reassuringly. You put your hand over his.
"Good," he murmured, eyes dropping down to your coupled hands. "That's the kind of reaction we need."
You nodded, trying to focus on the mission, on the act you needed to sell. But it was becoming increasingly difficult with Bucky's strong arm around you, his warm breath on your neck.
"We should practice," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "What if... what if we need to kiss?"
Bucky's eyes met yours, a mix of surprise and something darker, more intense. "Are you sure?"
You nodded, your heart racing. "We need to be convincing, right?"
Without another word, Bucky's hand slid to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer. His lips met yours, soft at first, then with growing intensity. You melted into the kiss, your hands instinctively moving to his chest. The stubble on his jaw scratched lightly against your skin, sending shivers down your spine.
For a moment, you forgot about the mission, about your brother, about everything except the feel of Bucky's lips on yours. It felt electric, a spark of something real amidst all the deception you were about to undertake. His metal arm tightened around your waist, and you gasped softly into his mouth.
When you finally broke apart, both slightly breathless, Bucky's eyes were dark with desire. "That was..." he started, then cleared his throat. "That should be convincing enough.”
You nodded, unable to form words. The kiss had felt all too real, and you were struggling to remind yourself that this was just part of the act. You couldn't afford to develop real feelings for Bucky, not with everything at stake.
"We should go," you managed to say, glancing at the clock. "We don't want to be late."
Bucky nodded, but neither of you moved.
Then you leaned in and kissed him again. He returned your kiss, metal arm pulling you even closer. Your hands tangled into his hair, and you shifted in his lap so you could press your chest flush against his.
"We really should go," you murmured against Bucky's lips when you had to break off for another breath, but made no move to pull away.
He hummed in agreement, his fingers tangling in your hair as he deepened the kiss. You melted into him, all thoughts of the mission momentarily forgotten. There was only the warmth of his body, the softness of his lips, the gentle scrape of his stubble against your skin.
Your hands roamed over his broad shoulders, feeling the strength coiled beneath his suit jacket. Bucky's flesh hand slid from your hair down your neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps. You gasped softly at the contact, and he took the opportunity to trace your lower lip with his tongue. Heat pooled in your stomach as you parted your lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss further.
His vibrainum hand continued its exploration down your body, while his warm, flesh hand stayed at the small of your back, anchoring you. You lost yourself in the sensation, forgetting for a moment about the dangerous mission ahead. Bucky's kisses were intoxicating, making you dizzy with desire. His metal hand traced the curve of your hip, sending shivers through your body.
Suddenly, the sharp ring of a phone cut through the haze of passion. You jerked away from Bucky, reality crashing back. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a sleek black device.
"It's time," he said, his voice husky. "The car's waiting downstairs."
You nodded, trying to catch your breath and calm your racing heart. As you stood up from his lap, you smoothed down your dress, acutely aware of how close you'd come to losing control.
Bucky rose as well, adjusting his tie and running a hand through his slightly mussed hair. His eyes met yours, filled with…
Filled with what, you weren’t sure.
If you made it out tonight, maybe you might have a chance to find out.
↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
Read more stories from the Deliciously Debauched Labor Day Weekend!
👀
What do we think? Do we want to see more of them?
I think this could be a post-TFATWS and pre-Thunderbolts kind of thing maybe. idk.
I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky barnes fan fic#female reader#curvy reader#millennial reader#aspen wrote something#hotbuckysummer2024#deliciously debauched labor day weekend
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Chocolate Princess ♡
Willy Wonka x reader
Pt 2
Part One
Description - Y/n Ficklegruber can't help but become enamoured with the spectacularly peculiar man stood in the middle of the galleria.
Word count - 1.3k
Warnings - fluff, fluff and more fluff ♡
a/n - little NYE present for you all!
Masterlist
--♡--
At exactly 9:51, I excitedly leapt out of my bed already dressed and ready to go. It was a crisp night so I elected for one of my thicker dresses which reached my knees, wooly tights, my coat and matching small cape. Both fur lined with pom poms ending the ties of the cape. All of it a familiar shade of green, a shade which lined nearly every inch of my wardrobe. It seemed even the choosing of my fashions were up to my fathers input.
I crept out of my room and down the stairs, only feeling safe once my gloved hands had managed to lock the mansion’s ornate door.
I skipped through town, skidding to a stop at the fountain as the large clock struck the hour of 10. I peered all around, my smile beginning to droop at the emptiness all around. However, a crunching of ice beneath boots pricked up my ears. So I began to walk the circumference of the fountain. Unbeknownst to me, another on the opposing side of the water feature had begun to do the same. My pace picked up as it seemed the footsteps would retreat at the same speed I would follow. Until finally I managed a jog and practically lunged at the burgundy coat and took it in my grasp. Willy jumped around. But when our eyes met, everything became still once again.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
We spoke together in whispered breaths.
“Are you ready to begin?” I went to sit down on the fountains edge but was stopped by Willy. Who proceeded to produce a blanket from his briefcase which he then layed down upon the icy stone. He took my hand in his and allowed me to sit once again.
“You are a true gentleman.” I teased in my poshest voice.
“Nothing but the best for the finest lady in all the land.” He jumped up onto the fountain and announced to the unknowing night air.
“Sh.” I reprimanded through my own giggles as I tugged him back down, my smile betraying any semblance of sterness.
“You don’t want anyone to know you’re out here?” His eyes drooped as his smile faltered. “You don’t want to be seen with me.” I tightly clasped both his hands in mine so he would be forced to look at me.
“Even if the whole world was watching us right now, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Okay?” He softly nodded.
“Now lets begin.” I produced a piece of paper from my pocket. “I thought we should start with the alphabet.”
I handed it to him and would direct his finger to the letter in question each time I taught him a new one.
--♡--
It took a long time for Willy to even get the grasp of the alphabet and when the clock struck midnight, I wasn’t even sure he was there.
“How about we just try it out.” I turned the paper over and wrote down the word ‘CAT’. “Can you tell me how this word sounds?”
He took the paper and began to turn it upside down as if trying to determine in which way he could make it work. “Not a bit of it.”
I giggled but stopped when his face showed he thought I was laughing at him. I took the paper from him and used my pen to circle the A. “You see this one is a vowel.” And then I circled the C and the T. “And these are consonants.”
“All I’m hearing is owls and nonsenants.” I chuckled sweetly at his ability to turn anything round and make it sweeter for the world to swallow. Seeing his tired face I decided to set my teaching supplies down. I stroked my hand over his weathered skin feeling the weight of the days struggles plastered over his face. Although this was fun and exciting for me, the poor boy had been through enough and he didnt need some girl trying to live her fruitless dreams of adventure through him.
There was a silence between us until he broke it. “I’m never going to get it?”
“Don’t say that! Reading takes time, it isn’t something you learn overnight.”
“You mean, you were going to give me more lessons?” He looked at me in awe that oozed naivety. I couldn’t help how I continued to stroke his face.
“Of course.” I suddenly became aware of my hands and their minds of their own. I righted myself back to propriety. “Anyways, reading is more about exposure. The more you read the better you become. And the better you become, the more you can read. It’s quite beautiful really.”
He gently tapped the side of my head. “With the amount of smarts you’ve got crammed up in this little head, well I wouldn’t be surprised if you were able to read every book in the world!”
I giggled embarrassed. “I wouldn’t know.”
“What do you mean you wouldn’t know?”
“Father stopped my studies when I was only 18. And he won’t allow me to go further. He won’t even allow me to spend my days at the library. I’m forced to be in his chocolate shop every hour of every day.”
He thought to himself. “Doesn’t sound so bad–” I shot him a quick glare. “-If you’re me! But that’s because making chocolate is my dream.”
“All I ever dream about now is being able to go off and learn. I want to read every book ever written, see every study ever done. Cram my mind full till it hurts with every single thing in the world there is to know.” I had risen excitedly and began to flap my hands about animatedly. I realised how much I had let myself express and became embarrassed under invisible eyes.
Yet the pair transfixed on my figure, held nothing but love.
“I guess it’s quite a silly dream to have.”
He rose and joined me, attaching our hands once more.
“All great ideas started with a dream, that’s what mama used to say.”
“What a beautiful thought. She must be a spectacular woman.”
“She was.” My lips parted to offer something more to the moment we were having but I was rudely interrupted by the ominous stroke of one.
“I’m sorry, I must go. Daddy sleepwalks when he eats too much chocolate and I must be there to help him out.” I hurriedly collected my things and returned to where Willy stood, still locked in our previous stance. Looking up once more into his eyes, I decided my fate and pulled him into a soul crushing kiss that had the touch of a butterfly. We parted only slightly, each wanting to return.
“I’m sorry I truly must leave.”
“Wait.” He stopped my retreating form. “Please accept this.” He returned to his suitcase and began to rummage.
“Willy, don’t be ridiculous do not pay me!”
“I wouldn’t thank you with something as common as money. No, I must show my gratitude with the only thing I own with any worth. My recipes. Open.” He gestured to my mouth and I willingly obliged. He placed a dainty rose shaped chocolate onto my awaiting tongue and I eagerly consumed it.
“They just get better each time.” I spoke, rather unladylike, through a mouthful of melting chocolate. I gave him a final kiss on his cheek and began to lightly skip back home.
--♡--
A quiet melody joined my journey home.
For a moment, life has never tasted so sweet. For a moment, I’m enriched with possibility. He is exciting and new, But be careful and think it all through.
Home is where you’re secure, It’s safe and you’re pure. But how long can you ignore it. That your heart is melting like chocolate.
--♡--
#timothee!wonka x reader#timothee chalamet wonka#timothée chalamet#willy wonka x you#wonka x reader#willy wonka x reader#wonka 2023#wonka movie
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the healer has the bloodiest hands
I wrote some thoughts after the finale of Veilguard. Solavellan heavy.
This is just me, parsing through some feelings. "My people had a saying long ago -'The healer has the bloodiest hands'. You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. You cannot heal pain by hiding it. You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better." Solas to Thom Rainer in DAI. ***
One can wonder, of course, what Mythal has to do with a Solavellan reunion and Solas’s choice to become the Veil’s protector, but hear me out.
It is significant that it’s Mythal because she is the embodiment of his terrible past, the epitome of their brilliance and boldness and good intentions turned to terrible truths. The horrors they did, they did together. It is significant that it’s Mythal that sets him on this new course by removing the chains of his guilt and regret. Lavellan can’t do that, she didn’t forge them. Solas’s journey as the Dread Wolf begins and ends with Mythal.
Mythal literally pulls Solas out of the Fade to use his wisdom, first to not lose herself to the other gods' vanity and brutality, then to gain advantage against them in an endless power struggle that breaks them both, I’d argue, though most significantly it breaks Solas. Retribution and revenge has no room for understanding, there is no wisdom in conquering. And Solas, for all his faults, isn’t brutal or cruel, doesn’t want power for his own gain. Instead he’s wise and creative, doomed to see the faults of his actions even as he carries them out, arguing in vain that the Evanuris too must see it - don’t cross these lines, don’t do it like this, don’t warp and twist your powers to forces of destruction. You must know this is madness! He objects to the creation of the bodies for the ancient elves, objects his own People’s physical creation. Did the earth not shake? It did, it was horrific and it was wrong and he knows this and it doesn’t matter. What he wants has never been part of the equation.
Even when he breaks free from Mythal, when he burns her mark off his face, he never stops fighting for the world she once wanted. Because otherwise? Should he stop? Then all that he has done, all that he has given up, all that has been demanded of him both as Mythal’s lapdog and the Dread Wolf, leader of the rebel armies for centuries, cloaked in a persona of strategy and battle orders - all of that has been for nothing. He has made a ruin of himself, of the world, for nothing. So he begins again, he picks up the pieces, he swears to make it right, to fix what he broke. That’s how he perceives healing, that’s what he thinks he is doing. But you cannot heal pain by hiding it. That’s why the Crossroads are falling apart with the manifestations of Solas’s greatest regrets, that’s why he needs Rook to escape his own prison, that’s why a Regret demon burns through Skyhold.
Solas traps the Evanuris as a final act of the ancient times, the creation of the Veil an embodiment of everything he and Mythal ever were - protection, benevolence, retribution, wisdom, pride. He ties it to the blood of the Firstborn out of spite and anger and it wrecks the world in ways he could not foresee. In ways he cannot fix because you cannot fix what has already happened.
You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better. He holds himself like a broken thing in front of Mythal and you can see it as submissive or as a man finally letting his grief out. There, at long last, he stands beaten and bloodied and blighted and he cries for all that was lost, all that he did and all that was done to him, all the things he cannot, cannot undo. And then: a new way forward.
In willingly binding himself to the Veil he embodies the best of those old myths, the All-Mother and the Breaker of Chains, as he breaks the cycle of punishment and grief and protects the sun and the moon. This oath, as opposed to the oaths of the empire that made him, is not to someone but to everyone, to all the innocents of the world. Instead of being the one who makes the terrible sacrifices of other people - the things I have done - he becomes the protector of the world that his people broke once upon a time. Instead of being the Creator of a new world without the Veil - the god he vehemently does not want to be, that he arguably thinks nobody should be - he becomes a caretaker, a guardian. A healer with bloody hands. And yes, it takes Mythal to break Mythal’s hold over him. You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. And this one goes deep. But it’s Lavellan who brings him the light in this story. It’s Lavellan who breaks through the dark, transforms it into something hopeful.
His prison construct in the Fade was terrible, an abyss of regret made to hold a god. An ancient punishment for ancient crimes but times change, people change, the People change for better and for worse and here Lavellan stands in all her mortal imperfection, offering him not a way to change the past - where all these ancient beings are stuck - but a way to mend the future. It will be a terrible place, he tells her, saying I am terrible because the Fade shifts around our beings. It won’t be terrible, Lavellan argues. Because I’m there with you, walking the dinan’shiral with you, all the way. He doesn't have to fix anything first, he doesn't have to change for her, he just needs to stop hurting the world, hurting himself. Because she loves him, despite all the terrible mistakes he has made. Because she knows all his names, from Dread Wolf to Vhenan, she knows the power of his mind and the fires of his love and she saw more than most of the man he is. The man he wants to be. For a little slice of time there in Skyhold he was that man, he was seen and he saw. He saw the world filtered through her and could forgive it, he saw her through his own ancient, tired eyes and he fell in love no matter how much he thought he did not deserve it. You don't have to deserve love, or mercy, it doesn't demand anything in return, holds you to no oath. It is a gift, freely given. That's what Lavellan offers him by holding out her hand there, at the edge of everything. That's where the light slips in.
She’s real, which means everyone is real and she changes everything, because she can. Ar lasa mala revas.
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'You gave me something to lose'
Joel Miller x f!reader
summary: Joel is afraid of losing you.
wc: 4k>
warnings: angst, mentions of panic attacks, fluff. Messy writing cause this is an old draft.
a/n: this was on my drafts for so long so I'm posting this as a gift because I'm going to London for the next two weeks and I won't be very active on here. So once I return, I promise I'll write the pendant things and requests I have. I hope you like this one. Happy reading 💌
dividerers by @/saradika-graphics
Joel didn’t fear anything, not dying nor being alone or even broke.
Not the clickers, not darkness, but you.
when his mission to take Ellie to the fireflies became into caring for the teen, he felt panicked.
And when he learned he had fallen deeply in love with you, you gave him something to lose.
And he was frightened.
Joel had always been a fortress, walls built high and strong to keep out the pain and loss he had endured. But now, those walls were crumbling. Each moment he spent with you, each secret you both had shared, each tender touch, chipped away at the defenses he had so meticulously constructed.
Since the day Joel met you at the QZ in Boston, you had stolen something from him. He didn’t decipher what back then, but every time you weren’t on his sight, a knot formed on his stomach. Every time he caught a glimpse of you, his blood rushed into his cheeks.
And God, every single time you smiled at him, he could find a reason to keep surviving in this world, again.
And that’s why when you had decided to go after him, when he and Tess took Ellie with them to the fireflies. He had made up his mind, between the anger and tinted loved was feeling for you right at that moment, he had decided he was going to protect you more than anything or anyone. Even when you got on his nerves.
The journey to the fireflies was grueling. The roads were treacherous, infested with clickers and hunters. Every step was a battle, every night a gamble. But Joel was relentless. He led the way with a grim determination, always keeping you and Ellie close. The tension was palpable, a silent acknowledgment of the danger that lurked in every shadow.
One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow over the desolate landscape, you found a moment of respite. The group set up camp in an abandoned building, its crumbling walls offering a semblance of shelter. Joel, ever vigilant, took the first watch.
You approached him, the flickering firelight casting dancing shadows across his weathered face. He looked up as you neared, his eyes softening slightly. “You should get some rest,” he said, his voice a low rumble.
You shook your head, sitting down beside him. “I can’t sleep. Too much on my mind.”
Joel glanced at you, the hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, I get that.” There was a pause, a comfortable silence settling between you. “You know,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper, “I never thought I’d feel this way again. Not after everything.”
You looked at him, searching his eyes. “What do you mean?”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve…” he paused, “Never mind.”
You furrowed your brow, sensing the weight of his unspoken words. “Joel, you can talk to me. Whatever it is, I’m here.”
He looked away, his jaw tightening. “It’s just… it’s hard to explain.” He paused again, just a few seconds, lifting his gaze up to yours “Why did you followed us three?” he asked.
The question caught you off guard, but you didn’t hesitate in your response. “I didn’t follow all of you. I followed you.”
“Why?”
“Because back in the QZ there wasn’t a life after you” you confessed, “Life sucks in there, but without you it would be worse.”
Joel’s eyes widened slightly, the vulnerability of your words hitting him harder than he expected. He stared at you, trying to process the depth of your feelings. “I never knew…”
“Of course you didn’t,” you interrupted softly. “You’ve always been so focused on surviving, on protecting Tess and yourself, that you’ve never stopped to see how much you mean to people. How much you mean to me.”
He shook his head, struggling to find the right words. “Good to know it because I feel the same about you.”
Your heart skipped a beat, his admission filling you with warmth. "Joel..."
He took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. “When I met you, I didn’t think I could care for anyone again. But you... you changed that.”
You felt tears welling up in your eyes, but you held them back, not wanting to break the cosmic moment “I’m glad. Because I can’t imagine going through this without you.”
Joel reached out, his hand cupping your cheek, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear that had escaped. “Now can you, please go to sleep?”
“Can I sleep here?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Joel’s expression softened, and without hesitation, he nodded. “Yeah, you can.”
He shifted, making room for you to lie down beside him. As you settled in, the warmth of his body next to yours was both comforting and grounding. You felt his arm wrap around you, pulling you closer, and you snuggled into his embrace, feeling safe and protected.
“Thank you,” you murmured, your voice muffled against his chest.
“For what?” he asked softly, his breath warm against your hair.
“For letting me in. For trusting me.”
Joel pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “I trust you more than anyone. And I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
You smiled, the weight of the world feeling just a little bit lighter in his arms. “We’ll figure it out together. “As the night deepened, the sounds of the wilderness outside seemed distant, the crackling fire casting a gentle glow around you. Joel’s steady heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest were the lullaby that finally coaxed you into sleep. In his arms, you found a peace you hadn’t known in a long time.
He felt his heart giving up for you.
That had happened a few months ago.
And Joel had become afraid. He found himself lying awake almost every night, staring at the sky and the stars, a storm of thoughts raging in his mind. What if something happened to you? What if he couldn't protect you? The thought of losing you, of seeing the light fade from your eyes, was a nightmare he couldn't bear. It was a fear far greater than anything he had ever faced; greater than the harsh realities of the post-apocalyptic world he had navigated for so long.
During the day, he tried to push these fears aside, trying to focus on the present. But it was impossible. Every smile you gave him reminded him of what he stood to lose. Every time you reached for his hand, his heart ached with the weight of his love for you and the dread of its potential loss.
He watched you with Ellie, how you cared for her, and how you brought joy and laughter into her bleak world. He saw how you made her feel safe and loved, and it only made his feelings for you deepen. Ellie, too, had become a part of this fragile, makeshift family, and his love for both of you intertwined, creating a web of vulnerability he couldn't escape.
The wind howled outside, carrying with it the bitter cold of the frozen winter night. Inside the small, dilapidated cabin, a fire crackled in the hearth, casting a warm glow across the room. You, Joel, and Ellie huddled close to the fire, trying to fend off the chill that seemed to seep through the very walls.
Ellie poked at the fire with a stick, her eyes reflecting the dancing flames. "What do you think it’ll be like, Joel?" she asked, her voice filled with a mix of hope and uncertainty.
Joel looked up from the map he was studying, his eyes softening as he met Ellie’s gaze. "What do you mean?"
"After the cure," she said. "When this is all over. What do you think it’ll be like?"
Joel leaned back against the rough wooden wall, his mind drifting to a time long past. "I reckon things will be...different. Better, maybe. People could rebuild, start over. There might be schools again, towns with shops, places where kids can just be kids."
Ellie smiled at the thought, her imagination running wild with possibilities. "I want to learn to play guitar," she said. "Like you, Joel. You promised to teach me, remember?"
Joel chuckled softly, a rare sound in these harsh times. "Yeah, I remember. We'll find one, and I'll teach you. Maybe we can even have a little concert, you and me."
You watched the exchange, a warm feeling spreading through your chest. "What about you, Joel? What's something you’d want to do?"
Joel hesitated, his eyes flicking to you. "I... I’d like to have a place of our own. Somewhere safe. Maybe a little house with a garden. We could grow our own food, live a quiet life. Just...be together."
You smiled, your heart swelling with affection. "That sounds nice," you said softly. "Really nice."
The conversation drifted into a comfortable silence, each of you lost in thoughts of a hopeful future. You leaned against Joel, the warmth of his body a comforting presence. His arm wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you closer.
Ellie yawned and stretched out on the floor next to the fire. "I think I'm going to get some sleep," she said, her voice already heavy with exhaustion.
"Good idea," Joel replied. "I’ll keep the watch."
Ellie nodded and pulled her blanket tightly around herself, quickly drifting off to sleep. You and Joel stayed by the fire, the quiet crackling of the flames the only sound in the room.
"Do you really think there’s hope for a cure?" you asked quietly, your head resting on his shoulder.
Joel sighed, his fingers gently stroking your arm. "I don't know," he admitted. "But I have to believe there is. For Ellie. For you."
You tilted your head up to look at him, your eyes searching his. "You’ve been through so much, Joel. Yet you still find it in you to hope. That’s incredible."
He shook his head slightly. "It's not hope," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's you.”
Joel’s panic attacks had become more frequent as the days passed. Every quiet moment seemed to stretch into an eternity of worry and fear. He could feel the weight of his responsibilities pressing down on him, and the constant fear that he wouldn’t be able to protect you or Ellie gnawed at him relentlessly.
When the three of you had finally arrived at Jackson, Joel’s thoughts were a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Jackson was a sanctuary, a place where you could all be safe, but his fears didn’t dissipate. If anything, they grew stronger. The more secure the surroundings, the more he worried about what could go wrong.
Jackson was bustling with life, a stark contrast to the desolate landscapes they had traversed. Children played in the streets, people worked in gardens, and there was a sense of community and hope that was almost overwhelming. Joel watched it all with a heavy heart, his mind racing.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was going to die, that some unseen danger would take him away from you and Ellie. The thought of leaving you unprotected was unbearable. That’s when the idea started to form: maybe the best way to protect you was to leave you in Jackson, where you’d be safe. Where you could even find someone younger than him to kept you alive.
Joel sought out his brother. He found Tommy in the community hall, finishing up some late-night paperwork. The room was quiet, the only sound the scratch of Tommy’s pen against the paper.
"Tommy," Joel said, his voice low and strained.
Tommy looked up, immediately sensing the urgency in his brother’s tone. "Joel, what’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."
Joel took a deep breath, his hands trembling. He sat down across from Tommy, his eyes filled with anguish. "I need to talk to you. It’s about Ellie and... and my….my " He couldn’t find the words to describe you. Calling you his lover wasn’t a proper word to use, it felt so weak. There was not nickname that could make justice to what you meant to him.
“Your girlfriend?” Tommy asked.
Joel nodded.
Tommy set his pen down, giving Joel his full attention. "Alright, tell me what’s on your mind."
Joel’s voice cracked as he spoke. "I don’t know how much longer I can do this. The fear... it’s eating me alive. I’m so scared something’s going to happen to them, and I won’t be able to protect them."
Tommy’s expression softened. "Joel, you’re in Jackson now. It’s safe here. We’ve got walls, people who care about each other. You don’t have to do this alone."
Joel shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. "You don’t understand. I feel like I’m going to die, like something’s going to take me away from them. And then what? What happens to them if I’m gone?"
Tommy reached out, placing a reassuring hand on Joel’s shoulder. "We’ll take care of them, Joel. You’re not alone in this."
Joel’s tears began to fall, his voice choked with emotion. "I’m asking you to take Ellie with you. Keep her safe. And let my baby stay here in Jackson. She deserves a life that’s not filled with running and fear."
Tommy’s eyes widened in shock. "Joel, are you sure about this? You’re talking about leaving them behind."
"I’m not leaving them," Joel said, his voice trembling. "I’m trying to protect them. They’ll be safer without me."
Tommy sighed, his heart breaking for his brother. "And what about you, Joel? What happens to you if you leave?"
Joel wiped his tears, trying to steady himself. "I’ll find a way to keep going. I just need to know they’re safe. That’s all that matters."
Tommy nodded slowly, understanding the depth of Joel’s fear and love. "Alright, Joel. If this is what you think is best, I’ll take care of them. But you need to talk to them first. They deserve to know why you’re doing this."
Joel nodded, his heart heavy with the weight of his decision. "I will. Thank you, Tommy."
Tommy pulled Joel into a tight embrace; his voice filled with emotion. "We’re family, Joel. We take care of each other."
Joel clung to his brother, the tears flowing freely now. He knew the conversation with you and Ellie would be one of the hardest things he’d ever have to do, but he also knew it was necessary. The fear of losing you both was too great to ignore, and he hoped that, in time, you would understand why he had to make this choice.
Joel walked slowly to Ellie’s room, his heart heavy with the burden of what he was about to do. He knew this conversation would be one of the hardest of his life, but he also believed it was necessary. He took a deep breath and knocked softly on her door.
“Come in,” Ellie’s voice called from inside.
He opened the door and stepped into the room. Ellie was sitting on her bed, reading one of the books she had found in Jackson’s library. She looked up and smiled when she saw him, but her smile faded when she noticed the serious expression on his face.
“Joel, what’s wrong?” she asked, her brows furrowing with concern.
Joel closed the door behind him and sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked at Ellie, her young face full of life and determination, and it made his heart ache.
“Ellie, we need to talk,” he said softly, struggling to find the right words.
Ellie set her book aside and gave him her full attention. “What’s going on?”
Joel took a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly. “Ellie, I’ve been thinking a lot about our journey, about everything we’ve been through. And... about what comes next.”
Ellie shook her head, her voice rising with emotion. “Joel, no. We’re supposed to stick together. We’re a team.”
Joel looked down, unable to meet her eyes. “Ellie, I’m not sure I can keep doing this. The fear... it’s too much. I’m scared something’s going to happen to you, and I won’t be able to protect you.”
Ellie reached out, placing a hand on his arm. “We protect each other, Joel. That’s how we’ve always done it.”
Joel swallowed hard, his voice breaking. “I’m asking Tommy to take you to the fireflies. He’ll keep you safe until you arrive to the hospital.”
Ellie’s eyes filled with tears, and she shook her head fiercely. “No, Joel. I’m not going without you. We’ve come this far together, and I’m not leaving you.”
Joel’s heart ached at her words, but he forced himself to continue. “Ellie, you need to understand. I’m not... I’m not your father. I can’t be the one to keep you safe forever.”
The words hung heavy in the air, and Ellie’s tears began to fall. “You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father, Joel. Don’t you get that? Fuck”
Joel’s own tears threatened to spill over, but he steeled himself. “But you’re not my daughter and I’m not your father.”
Ellie shook her head, her voice filled with desperation. “No, Joel. Please. Don’t do this. We need you.”
Joel reached out, cupping her face in his hands. “I need you to trust me, Ellie. This is the best way to keep you safe.”
Ellie pulled away from his touch, her face a mix of anger and heartbreak. “I don’t want to be safe if it means losing you. You and her are all I have, Joel.”
Joel stood up, his heart shattering at her words. “I’m sorry, Ellie. But this is how it has to be.”
He turned and walked toward the door, each step feeling like a lead weight. He paused at the doorway, looking back at Ellie one last time.
With that, he walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. He leaned against the wall, his heart breaking at the sound of Ellie’s muffled sobs. He knew this was one of the hardest decisions he had ever made, but he believed it was the right one.
As he stood there, trying to compose himself, he heard footsteps approaching. You appeared at the end of the hallway, having heard the conversation. Your eyes met his, and in that moment, he saw the same mix of anger, hurt, and confusion that Ellie had shown.
You approached Joel slowly, your face a mix of anger and hurt. He could see the questions in your eyes, the need for an explanation that would make sense of the pain he had caused.
"Joel," you said, your voice trembling. "What are you doing?"
Joel looked down, unable to meet your gaze. "I'm trying to keep you both safe. You and Ellie. This place, Jackson... it's where you can have a real life."
Your eyes narrowed, and you took a step closer. "And you think abandoning us is the way to do that? How could you even consider leaving us behind?"
Joel sighed, his shoulders slumping. "It's not abandoning you. It's making sure you're protected. If something happens to me—"
You cut him off, your voice rising with emotion. "Don't you get it, Joel? We need you. Ellie needs you. I need you. You're the reason we've made it this far. You can't just walk away."
Joel's eyes were filled with pain as he looked up at you. "I can't shake the fear that I'm going to die, that I won't be there when you need me most. I thought if I left, you'd be safer."
You stepped even closer, your anger giving way to desperation. "Safer? Joel, we've faced everything together. We protect each other. How can you think we'd be better off without you? How can you think I would be better off without you?""
Joel's voice was barely a whisper. "Because I can't bear the thought of losing you.”
Your heart ached at his words, but you knew you had to make him understand. You reached out, taking his hands in yours. "Joel, I love you. I need you with me, not just for protection, but because you're my love. Leaving me won't keep me safe; it'll break me."
Joel looked at you, tears welling in his eyes. "I don't know if I can do this. The fear is... it's too much."
You squeezed his hands, your voice gentle but firm. "We'll face it together, Joel. Just like we always have. You're not alone in this. Please, don't leave me."
Joel pulled you into a tight embrace, his tears finally spilling over. "I'm so scared," he admitted, his voice choked with emotion.
You held him close, your own tears falling. "I know, Joel. But we're stronger together. I need you. Ellie and I need you"
As you stood there, holding each other in the quiet of the hallway, Joel felt the weight of his fear begin to lift. The love and determination in your voice gave him the strength he needed to keep going. At least for a bit.
After a long moment, Joel pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "I was trying to do the right thing.”
You nodded; your heart full of relief. "We'll figure it out, Joel. Together."
Joel took a deep breath, cupping your face in his hands. “I love you so much,” he said, pecking your lips.
Your heart swelled with emotion as you returned his kiss, a soft, reassuring touch. “I love you too, Joel,” you whispered, your voice steady with conviction.
Joel rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as if trying to etch this moment into his memory. “I just don’t want to lose you or Ellie. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to either of you.”
You stroked his cheek, your thumb brushing away a stray tear. “We’re not going anywhere, Joel. We’ve made it through so much already, and we’ll keep making it through. Together.”
He nodded, pulling you into a tighter embrace, the warmth of his body a comforting reminder of his presence. “Together,” he repeated, his voice more confident now.
You pulled back slightly from the embrace, looking up into Joel’s eyes. "Come on," you said softly, taking his hand. "Let’s get cleaned up. It’s been a long day."
He nodded, allowing you to lead him down the hall to the bathroom. The room was small, but it had a functioning shower—one of the many luxuries you had come to appreciate in this place. You turned on the water, adjusting the temperature until it was just right.
Joel stood there, watching you with an exhaustion and adoration. He started to undress, his movements were slow You did the same, your eyes meeting his with every piece of clothing that fell to the floor. There was an unspoken understanding between you. Both of you bared int front of each other, stealing glances of your bodies in display.
Once you were both undressed, you stepped into the shower together. The warm water cascaded over your bodies, washing away the grime and tension of the day. You reached for the soap, lathering it between your hands before gently running them over Joel’s shoulders and back.
He sighed, leaning into your touch. "You don’t have to do this," he murmured.
"I want to," you replied, your voice tender. "Let me take care of you." You said, pressing a kiss on his wet shoulder.
You continued to wash him, your hands moving in soothing, circular motions. The warmth of the water and the intimacy of the moment began to ease the tension in his muscles. When you reached his hair, you took the shampoo and began to work it into a lather, your fingers massaging his scalp.
Joel closed his eyes, a soft groan escaping his lips. "That feels nice," he admitted.
You smiled, continuing to wash his hair with gentle care. "Good. You deserve to relax."
After rinsing the shampoo from his hair, you handed him the soap. "Your turn," you said with a playful smile.
He took the soap, his hands surprisingly gentle as he began to wash your shoulders and back. The feel of his strong, calloused hands against your skin was comforting, a reminder of how much you meant to each other. He took his time, his touch tender and affectionate, showing the love he felt for you.
When he reached your hair, he repeated the process, his fingers working the shampoo through your locks with the same care you had shown him. You closed your eyes, savoring the sensation of his hands in your hair and the warmth of the water cascading over you.
For a while, the two of you stood there, simply enjoying the closeness and the rare moment of peace. The world outside might be filled with danger and uncertainty, but here, in this small bathroom, there was only love.
When you were both clean, you turned off the water and reached for a towel, wrapping it around Joel’s shoulders before taking another for yourself. You helped each other dry off, the intimacy of the moment deepening the existent bond between you.
Joel looked at you, his eyes filled with gratitude and love. "Thank you," he said softly.
You cupped his face in your hands, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "We’re in this together, Joel. Always."
He nodded, pulling you into a tight embrace. "Together," he echoed.
As you both stood there in the warmth of the bathroom, wrapped in towels and each other's embrace, the bond between you felt stronger than ever. The fear and uncertainty of the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the love and trust you had for each other.
Joel kissed the top of your head and took your hand, leading you back to the bedroom. The soft glow of the lamp illuminated the bedroom, casting a warm, golden hue over the room. You both moved slowly, savoring the peaceful moment.
You helped Joel into bed, making sure he was comfortable before slipping in beside him. He pulled you close, his arms wrapped protectively around you. The simple act of being in his arms felt like the safest place in the world.
Joel tilted his head slightly, his lips brushing against your forehead as he spoke. "I love you so much," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "More than I can ever put into words."
You looked up at him, your heart swelling at the raw honesty in his eyes. "I love you too, Joel. So much."
He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "I don't think I've ever felt this way before. I mean, caring this much for someone. Not since Sarah. And it's... it's scary. But it's also the most wonderful thing I’ve ever felt."
Your heart ached for him at the mention of Sarah, but you knew how important it was for Joel to express his feelings. You placed a gentle hand on his cheek, your thumb brushing against his stubble. "It's okay to be scared, Joel. But you're not alone in this. We’re in it together."
Joel nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You've given me something I thought I’d lost forever. Hope. A reason to keep fighting. And I want you to know that I’ll do everything I can to protect you, to make sure we have a future together."
You leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to his lips. "We’ll protect each other. And we’ll build that future, one day at a time."
He wrapped his arms around you tighter, holding you close as if trying to memorize the feeling of having you in his arms. "I promise you, I'll never let anything happen to you. You and Ellie mean everything to me."
You snuggled closer, your head resting on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. "And you mean everything to us, Joel. We're stronger together."
Joel sighed contentedly, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your back. "Thank you for standing by me, for believing in me. I don't know what I’d do without you."
You smiled against his chest, feeling the warmth of his love envelop you. "You'll never have to find out, because I'm not going anywhere."
With that, you both drifted into a peaceful sleep, the worries of the world outside momentarily forgotten. In each other's arms, you found solace and strength, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead together.
Hours later, Joel woke up in the middle of the night, the room shrouded in darkness. He instinctively reached out for you, but his hand found only empty space. Panic surged through him, his heart pounding as he sat up, his eyes scanning the room.
"Baby, where are you?" he muttered, throwing the blankets aside as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He quickly pulled on his pants and a shirt, his movements hurried and frantic. The fear of losing you, so deeply ingrained in his mind, took hold as he rushed out of the bedroom.
He moved swiftly down the hallway, his mind racing with worst-case scenarios. Had something happened? Had someone taken you? The thoughts were unbearable. He reached the top of the stairs and bolted down them, nearly stumbling in his haste.
When he reached the bottom, he paused, his eyes darting around the living room. Relief washed over him as he saw you sitting on the couch, a cup of tea cradled in your hands. You looked up, startled by his sudden appearance.
"Joel, what’s wrong?" you asked, concern etching your features.
He let out a shaky breath, his heart still racing. "I woke up and you weren’t there," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I thought something had happened to you."
You set your tea down on the table and stood up, crossing the room to him. "I’m sorry," you said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "I couldn’t sleep, so I came down to make some tea. I didn’t mean to scare you."
He pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you as if to reassure himself that you were really there. "It’s okay," he murmured into your hair. "I just...I can’t bear the thought of losing you."
You held him just as tightly, feeling the intensity of his emotions. "You won’t lose me, Joel. I promise."
He nodded, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. "I know. It’s just...sometimes the fear gets the better of me."
You cupped his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing over his cheeks. "I understand," you said gently. "But we’re safe here. We have each other."
He sighed, the tension slowly easing from his body. "Yeah, we do."
"Come on," you said, taking his hand and leading him to the couch. "Sit with me for a while. The tea is still warm."
He followed you, sitting down beside you on the couch. You picked up your cup and handed it to him. "Here, takes a sip. It’ll help you relax."
He took the cup, his hands still slightly trembling. He sipped the tea, the warmth spreading through him, helping to calm his nerves. "Thanks," he said, his voice steadier.
You leaned against him, your head resting on his shoulder. "We’ll get through this, Joel. Together."
He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. "Yeah, we will."
The two of you sat there in the quiet of the night, the warmth of the tea and the comfort of each other’s presence soothing the fears that had momentarily overwhelmed him. In that moment, Joel felt a renewed sense of peace, knowing that as long as you were by his side, he could face anything the future held.
As the minutes passed, the tension in Joel's body melted away. He looked down at you, your eyes closed, content and calm. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I love you," he whispered, the words carrying all the weight of his heart.
"I love you too," you replied softly, without opening your eyes.
Joel took another sip of the tea, its warmth soothing him from the inside out. The night was still and quiet, a rare tranquility enveloping your home. He gazed around the room, taking in the modest, yet comforting surroundings. This place, this sanctuary in Jackson, could become more than just a shelter. A home.
You snuggled closer to him, and Joel felt a profound sense of gratitude. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to truly believe in the possibility of a future filled with hope and love. The horrors of the past, the constant threats of the present, they all seemed a little more bearable with you by his side.
"We’ve been through so much," he said quietly, his fingers gently stroking your hair. "But sitting here with you, it makes it all worth it."
You opened your eyes and looked up at him, a soft smile playing on your lips. "We’ve found something real, Joel. Something worth fighting for. And no matter what comes our way, we’ll face it together."
Joel nodded, feeling the truth of your words settle deep within him. "Together," he echoed, his voice filled with conviction. "Always."
The two of you sat there in the stillness, the warmth of each other's presence a balm for your souls. Joel felt a sense of peace he hadn't known in years. With you, he had found a reason to hope, to believe in a better tomorrow.
As the night wore on, the exhaustion of the day began to catch up with him. You noticed his eyelids growing heavy and gently took the cup from his hands, setting it on the table. "Come on," you whispered, standing up and offering your hand. "Let’s get some rest."
Joel took your hand and allowed you to lead him back to the bedroom. The room was still bathed in the soft glow of the lamp, casting a warm light over the bed. You both slipped under the covers, and Joel pulled you close, your bodies fitting together perfectly.
With you in his arms, the fear and anxiety that had plagued him earlier faded away. The rhythm of your breathing, the steady beat of your heart against his chest, all served as a reminder of the love and strength you shared.
"Goodnight, Joel," you murmured, your voice filled with tenderness. "Goodnight," he replied, pressing a final kiss to your forehead.
As he closed his eyes, Joel felt a deep sense of contentment. No matter what the future held, he knew that with you by his side, he could face it all. Together, you had built something beautiful amidst the chaos, and that was something worth holding on to.
In the quiet darkness, with you in his arms, Joel finally allowed himself to drift into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of the life you would continue to build together, one filled with love, hope, and endless possibilities.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal character fanfiction#joel miller series#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller angst#tlou fanfiction#joel the last of us#joel x reader#Joel Miller#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal
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lay all your love on me
pairing: female singer x jack schlossberg
summary: friends to lovers, he falls first, he’s kinda controlling inspired by his instagram stories today.
“y/n,” jack started, then stopped and just stared at you. you look up from the tomato’s you were chopping and lock eyes with him. you can hear your friends continue their conversation in the other room, unaware of you two.
“hm?”
he sighs. you set down the knife you were using and turn your body fully to him.
“jack?”
“y/n, i want to be serious with you.”
you met jack schlossberg 2 years ago through mutual friends. well, artificial mutual friends. unbeknownst to you, jack arranged for you two to meet after seeing your performance at the Grammys. after your performance, he quickly found whose after party you were attending and got himself on the invites list, and basically faked being friends with people to get to you. how, you’ll never know. but that doesn’t matter.
at the after party, you fell for his charms immediately. he was much more charming (and handsome) than your boyfriend, joe. but that doesn’t matter.
ever since then, you and jack have been the bestest of friends. a day doesn’t go by where you don’t talk to him. now, you’re making pasta from jacks grandma’s famous recipe for your friends.
“i don’t know what you mean.” he picks up his wine glass and downs in it one go.
“i love you, y/n.”
your friends scream as lay all your love on me by ABBA starts playing in the other room.
“i love you too jack” you shout over their singing. they continue even louder. jack grabs your hands, he’s breathing hard. his eyes glisten.
“i’m possessive it isn’t nice” they sing.
“no no, y/n, i want to be with you. y/n i want all of you.”
“jack, this isn’t the right time and you know it.”
you and your boyfriend just broke up because he accused you of cheating. yes, you may have kissed jack once or twice (or maybe a few more times than that) because you were upset, but it wasn’t anything serious. friends kiss all the time, right?
also, you’re about to go on a world tour.
but now it isn’t true
now everything is new
“y/n we can make it work. if you love somebody, you can make it work. and i love you.”
“jack stop it.” you say, removing your hands from his grip but he quickly grabs your waist instead and pulls you closer.
don’t go wasting your emotion
lay all your love on me
“i do, i do love you, you’re amazing there’s nobody like you” you can smell the wine on his breath, it mixes so perfectly with his natural musk and the heat you feel in your stomach from his touch. his hands on your waist that pull you into his body remind you of the first time you kissed him. your body moves before you can think, pulling him down into a kiss. he kisses you like he’s never kissed you before, so needy, so desperate it makes your knees weak. he slinks his hands up to your face and holds you like you’re his treasure. you back away first, hands still on his neck, and he looks at you through hooded eyes.
“the way you smile,” kiss “the way you laugh,” kiss “the way we could spend hours together and i would never get bored,” kiss and a smile. he leans his forehead on yours, your face burns.
the world around you fades away.
“i’ve never felt this way about anybody before,” he whispers.
“me neither.”
“i’ve never laughed so hard in my life. i’m so much better when i’m around you. i cant live without you, y/n” his eyes shine once again.
“jack i love you.” your eyes swell up with tears, blurring jacks face.
“i know we can work it out, y/n, it’ll be fine. we can do distance, hell i’ll follow you across the world. i’d go anywhere for you, y/n, i want this to work. i want us to work.” he speaks as he holds your head, making sure you never look away from him. tears stream down your face, you’re just so overwhelmed with love and emotions you don’t even know what to do. jack holds you and doesn’t let go.
“don’t cry, sweet girl, i need you to listen to me.” you lean into his chest and continue to cry, leaving mascara stains on his white shirt. “why are you crying, hm?”
“jack, i love you so much,” he holds you tight. you never knew how much he loved you, you’ve never been loved like this.
“y/n, listen to me.” you sniffle and look up at him. “i need you, okay? i don’t wanna live without you,” he wipes your tears away, “and if i cant have all of you, i cant handle anything less than all of you. i wanna be with you 24/7, i wanna be fully in love, i never want to leave the stage where we can’t keep our hands off of each other, okay?” you nod against his chest. he never looks away from you.
“i cant share you, i cant share you anymore. i cant share you with another man, i cant share you with your dad, i cant share you with your best friend. i’m your best friend.” he begins to rub your shoulder, his face so full of emotion.
“i’m your best friend who loves you. i’m your best friend who will do anything for you. i’m your best friend, i’m your lover, i’m your husband. i can do all those 3 jobs. i can do it all for you. but i want to know if you can do it all for me.”
“jack, yes,” you speak before you can think.
“shh,” he puts his pointer finger to your lips. “can you be mine?” he asks with a smile. “can you be fully mine? can you be my best friend, partner, lover? can you be the mother of my kids?”
he pauses, looking at you with a smile. neither of you move. your chests rise and fall in unison, your body heat has become one. in this moment, its just you two. you and jack. no one else. no one else matters.
“i’m ready to be serious with you. i don’t want to kiss and tell anymore, i want to marry and tell. i want to be serious with you. i’m committed to you, y/n, and only you.” he pulls you into a deep kiss, a passionate, needy kiss. you kiss him through your tears. you press yourself into his body, a deep need for him taking over.
“so what do you sa-“ you cut off jack before he can finish his sentence with a kiss.
#i know their pasta was BURNT#hashtag need that#we need more jack on this website#jack schlossberg#jack schlossberg x reader#jack schlossberg fanfic#jack schlossberg imagine#divider by cafekitsune#my works
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insecure toji :(
—
toji is great at hiding his insecurities. best at it, even.
to be a man you are not allowed to showcase any emotion nor shed a tear in front of anyone. it would bring such great dishonor to family, especially to zenin.
that’s how he was raised by his father. he’s got the marks and bruises to prove it, hasn’t he?
but one thing that toji is very much insecure about is he knows how financially unstable he is.
by any means, he’s not poor. yet, he’s not enough either. and it’s never become a problem for him until he has you.
a beautiful woman whom he had met exactly a year ago at a dingy bar when he had just gotten off from his late shift,
he remembers vividly how you looked that night. sophisticated and gorgeous. a dress that fits your body too well and a voice that could make any man weak at their knees.
it was obvious you had eyes on you as a conversation was shared between you and a few friends, yet you paid no mind at first.
but you took that chance anyway and looked to your right, a small chuckle heaved from you as the man quickly averted his gaze down to his lap with a small blush upon his cheeks. embarrassed that he got caught.
“you came alone?” you asked, resting your chin upon your open palm with a small head tilt,
“y-yeah” he laughs, nodding at you. “just got off from a shift, figured a drink would be nice”
you hum, smiling at the handsome man few feet from you. “graveyard shift?” a little tease won’t hurt,
“something like that” he laughs again and you might be biased because he has the most cutest one you’ve ever heard, “all that and still not enough to treat myself somewhere nice”
a joke but you see how much pain he hides when he says that,
“eh—as long as you’re still alive, there are lots of things that needs to be grateful for” you shrug as you answer. “are you grateful, sir?””
never in his life has he ever heard someone asked him that question,
“very much so, ma’am” he nods yet again, lips stretching into a smile and you catch a glimpse of his thin scar adorning his lips. “or at least i try to be”
you listen well to what he has to say. “try” you repeat the word he just said. “exactly—it’s better to say that rather than completely give up everything—got someone back home?”
he chuckles, lacing his fingers together. “if you meant a three year old son, yes”
“he means a lot to you then?”
“i’d give him the world” he corrects your statement in seconds, thoughts of little megumi clouding his mind. “the only thing that keeps me going”
“well—“ you begin again before saying goodbyes to your friends and colleagues. “that makes him your purpose, then”
he hums, confirming everything what you had just said as the two of your continues to stare into each other’s eyes.
“why don’t you come over here? talk to me more about you” you offer,
“would hate to ruin your evening, ma’am—my shit is far too complex and boring” he chuckles,
you shake your head in disagreement, smiling at him. “every human’s life is complex—it just depends on those people around us who’s willing to sit and listen—and i chose to listen. so come here” you push a stool in front of you with your feet for him to sit on,
little did you know, toji immediately fell in love with you that night,
“i’m broke, angel” he admits out of the blue, earning a glance from you. “i don’t know why you wanted to do anything with me when i could barely give you something”
your brows are furrowed, “toji wha-“
“i saw those two men tonight who came up to you. very well dressed men” he swallows a lump, “they could probably fix your life. seeing the watch on their wrists? i mean” he chuckles with no humor laced in it and it concerns you even mode,
“who wouldn’t?” his eyes then move briefly to yours, whose eyes scanning through his features like there’s something deeply wrong about him. “you’re a beautiful woman with a the kindest soul i’ve ever seen and i’m just the lucky bastard who gets to be with you… I still question myself sometimes ‘why on earth does she wants to be with me?’ “
“they could provide you better” he ends the sentence with a small voice
“baby” you speak with tenderness, fingers quickly moving under his chin and get him to look at you when he refuses. “toji baby, look at me”
and it nearly damn breaks your heart when you see toji struggles to push back his tears,
“where is all of this coming from?”
he shrugs merely as a response, shyly looking down,
“I’m supposed to be the man of the house, treating you nice, getting you jewels and shit but i barely can cover up bills to pay” he admits,
and if silence was the only thing you could hear that night, then a chip of your heart could probably still be heard.
“i don’t fucking care” four words leave your mouth sharply. “what you-we” you correct, “have to go through—i will go through it with you—and i will not leave you behind”
toji releases a breath as your thumb pads against his skin, eyes staring contently into yours with a heart that beats softly for you,
“if i had to sit my ass all night, going through jobs applications, and waking up in the morning to drive you for hundreds of interviews then i will” you firmly state, both hands now cupping his face as you wipe away his small tears.
“i will not just sit and watch you fall” hearing your voice almost breaks is enough to make his heart clench too. “who bought megumi his favorite books yesterday?”
toji gulps. “i did”
“who bought the groceries this month because we wanted to have pasta for dinner?”
“i did” he answers again, hand holding your wrist,
“who made reservations at that crazy expensive restaurant on the South because his demanding ass wanted to treat me something?”
hearing that makes him chuckle, nodding. “me”
“yeah” you confirm. “you did, baby.” a small smile appears on your face. “so as long as you’re able to put food on the table, you’re okay. as long as you’re able to give megumi what he needs, you are not broke. as long as you have a roof over your head, treating me good, we are okay. you hear me?”
he nods once again, feeling his heart fails to finds a steady rhythm by how gentle yet firm you are with your words.
“but you mentioned about the dress—“
“ay, papi—enough” a groan escapes you. “i don’t give a damn about a 2,000 dollar dress knowing you’d probably rip it off of me anyway”
toji releases a loud laugh, his hands moving down to your waist. his forehead knocking softly against yours, holding onto you tightly as if he’s afraid that you will disappear.
it is at this moment that toji realizes at this point that no one would probably put up with him nor understand him like you,
because it is what it is. you love him for him not for the money he owns. you look at the whole landscape and saw a real man. that’s what made you fall in love
“none of that bullshit anymore, okay? please?” you beg with wavering voice, hurt that your boyfriend is feeling this way about everything,
“okay—i’m sorry, angel i just—“
“i get it baby, i get it” you nod, kissing his lips. “but you don’t have to be scared with me, yeah? i got you like you got me. and when shit gets too hard, i’ll still be here for you. for megumi” you promise,
“if that was your way of trying to get rid of me then you need to try harder—i’ve had worse and there’s no way in hell i’m leaving” a playful statement that brings another laugh between you two,
“i’ll put the ring on it one day, princess—i promise” and he will, he knows he will,
you know that too,
“i know baby—i know”
maybe lucky isn’t the only thing he’s feeling when he’s got you
—
not proofread so its probably a mess
#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro blurbs#toji fushiguro angst#toji fushiguro fluff
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The reader has a miscarriage and Billie comforts her
Shattered Hopes
Summary: After a devastating miscarriage following months of trying to conceive, you and Billie are left to pick up the pieces of your dream. Grief threatens to overwhelm you, but Billie’s unwavering love reminds you that together, you can face anything—even the darkest moments.
Word Count: 798
Warnings: Contains themes of miscarriage, grief, and emotional distress.
The silence in the hospital room was suffocating. You sat on the bed, staring at your hands, empty and trembling. The dull ache in your body was nothing compared to the void in your chest. Everything you had dreamed about, everything you had worked so hard for—it was gone.
You heard Billie’s breath hitch beside you, but she didn’t say anything. She hadn’t said much at all since the doctor gave you the news. Her hands were folded in her lap, fingers twisting together like she was holding herself together by a thread. Her striking blue eyes, always so full of life, were now shadowed with pain.
“I’m sorry,” you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t keep—”
“Stop,” Billie interrupted, her voice raw and trembling. She turned to you, her face crumbling as tears spilled down her cheeks. “Don’t do that. Don’t say it like it was your fault.”
“It feels like my fault,” you admitted, the words spilling out like broken glass. “I couldn’t protect them, Billie. I couldn’t give us what we wanted.”
Her hands were on you before you could pull away, firm and grounding, her fingers curling around yours. “You didn’t fail,” she said, her voice cracking but insistent. “You hear me? You didn’t fail. This—this wasn’t fair. It wasn’t you.”
Your chest tightened, the weight of her words colliding with the crushing guilt you couldn’t shake. “We tried so hard. All of it—it was supposed to work. We were supposed to have—” Your voice broke, and you turned away, unable to finish.
“I know,” Billie whispered, her voice trembling. She shifted closer, her arms wrapping around you even as you tried to keep your distance. “I know, baby. I know.”
You let yourself fall into her embrace, the fight draining out of you. The tears came then, hot and relentless, soaking into the soft fabric of her hoodie. Billie held you tightly, her chin resting on top of your head as her own tears fell silently.
For a long time, neither of you spoke. The only sound was your broken sobs and the quiet, unsteady rhythm of her breathing. Finally, she whispered, “I hate this. I hate that you’re hurting like this, and I can’t fix it. I’d do anything to take this pain away from you.”
Her voice cracked on the last word, and it broke something inside you. “You’re here,” you said, your voice hoarse but steadying. “That’s enough. That’s everything.”
Billie pulled back just enough to look at you, her blue eyes shimmering with a mix of anguish and love. “We’re not giving up,” she said firmly, her hands cupping your face. “I don’t care how hard it gets. I don’t care how long it takes. We’re not giving up.”
Her determination sent a fresh wave of tears cascading down your cheeks, but this time, there was something else mingling with the pain—hope. “I don’t know if I can go through this again,” you admitted.
“You won’t go through it alone,” Billie said, pressing her forehead against yours. “Never. I’m with you. Every step, every setback, every heartbreak. You’ve got me, always.”
You nodded, clutching her like she was the only solid thing in a world that had been shattered. And maybe she was.
For now, it wasn’t about moving forward or finding a new plan. It was about holding on to each other, anchoring yourselves in the love that had carried you this far. And somehow, in the middle of all the pain, that was enough.
#billie eilish blurb#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish fic#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish imagine#wlw blog#billie eilish angst
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shattered hearts | lando norris
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: you break free from a toxic relationship, embarking on an exhilarating journey of self-discovery
warning: emotional abuse, infidelity, toxic relationship, angst
author's note:this was hard, so hard omg... as I always say, english is not my first language so sorry me if there are mistakes —feel free to tell me— and my requests are open!👀
I met Lando when we were barely out of high school. Back then, he was just a kid with dreams and a mischievous smile that made you feel like you were the only one in the world that mattered. For a while, I believed that was true. But as the years went by, I learned that Lando's smile wasn’t mine alone—it was shared with others, stolen moments behind my back. And somehow, I was always the one left picking up the pieces.
Our relationship was a whirlwind, the couple everyone thought would either crash or last forever. We did crash—over and over again. But somehow, Lando always found a way to convince me to come back.
“I’m sorry,” he’d say, voice low and pleading after one of his inevitable affairs. “But you know you’re my number one, right? None of them matter like you do.”
He’d wrap his arms around me, pull me close, and somehow, I’d believe him. I had to because after eight years of being with him, I didn’t know who I was without him.
The first time he cheated, I was devastated. It was in his early F1 days, just as his fame started to sink in. He swore it was a one-time thing that it didn’t mean anything. And like a fool, I believed him. But it didn’t stop. It never stopped. There was always another girl, another excuse, another lie wrapped up in the promise that I was still the "main one."
One particular night, I remember the argument that nearly broke us for good. Lando had been out late, and I found out through a mutual friend that he had been seen with another girl. Again. When he came home, reeking of alcohol and guilt, I confronted him.
“You said you were going to change, Lando!” I yelled, tears streaming down my face. “You promised me, over and over again, but nothing ever changes!”
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this? You always come back. You always forgive me,” he shot back, arms crossed, his face a mask of irritation.
His words stung like a slap to the face. I wanted to scream, to leave right then and there. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Because a part of me still loved him, or maybe it was the idea of him—the boy I met before the fame, before the lies.
As the years rolled on, our friends saw the cracks. One night during a get-together at a bar, I tried to put on a brave face. I thought maybe if I acted normal, I could convince myself everything was fine. But when Jess pulled me aside, her expression serious, I knew I couldn’t hide anymore.
“Why do you keep letting him treat you like this?” she asked, frustration evident in her voice. “You deserve so much better, and he’s just going to keep doing this until you realize it.”
“Maybe he’ll change. I can’t just throw away eight years,” I replied defensively. “We have a history.”
“You mean a history of him cheating on you? You have to stop putting up with this, or you’re going to lose yourself,” she insisted, shaking her head.
I didn’t have an answer for her, not really. I just wanted to believe that things would get better. That Lando would see how much I cared and finally choose me over everyone else.
Our mutual friends began to pick sides. Some supported me, while others were loyal to Lando. It was suffocating, a constant tug-of-war that made everything feel so much worse. I felt more isolated than ever, even when surrounded by people.
Then there was the jealousy. Lando was incredibly possessive, especially with his fellow drivers. During one race weekend, I was talking to Charles, who had just finished his session. Lando walked in, and his eyes darkened.
“Why are you always chatting up the other drivers?” he snapped, pulling me aside as Charles walked away, giving us a questioning look.
“Because they’re my friends, Lando! Just because you’re in F1 doesn’t mean I can’t talk to anyone else. You’re not my warden,” I shot back, feeling the anger rise in my chest.
“Don’t act like I’m overreacting. You know how it looks,” he hissed, jaw clenched, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.
I knew he was being unreasonable, but I was too exhausted to fight back. Our friends watched the tension build, hoping to intervene. I overheard Max once whisper to Lando.
“You need to chill, mate. You’re pushing her away.”
But Lando always had an excuse for everything, often deflecting blame onto me.
“You just don’t understand how this world works!” he’d shout, leaving me feeling small and defeated.
The cycle continued, and I found myself in the same painful arguments over and over. One night, after he came home late from a party, I had finally reached my breaking point.
“Do you even care about how I feel?” I shouted, my voice echoing through our apartment. “You’re always out with other girls! How am I supposed to trust you?”
“I told you, you’re the main one! None of them matter!” he retorted, but his words felt hollow to me.
We spent that night in silence, and I knew I had to make a decision. I just didn’t know how to let go.
The more time passed, the more I began to distance myself from Lando. Therapy helped. I began to see the truth behind his words and actions. The way he manipulated me, made me feel guilty for his mistakes. The way he made it seem like I was the one at fault for staying, like I was to blame for the pain he caused me.
During one therapy session, I shared my frustrations.
“I don’t know why I keep coming back to him. He’s hurt me so many times, and I just can’t let go.”
The therapist asked me one simple question: “Do you love him, or are you just scared of being without him?”
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know the answer.
One evening after another brutal fight, I finally left. For good this time. I packed my bags while he watched, silent for once. Maybe he thought I’d come back, just like I always did. But this time was different. I walked out the door, leaving behind eight years of memories, both good and bad.
The nights were long and lonely, and I often found myself thinking about the happy moments we had. One flashback struck me particularly hard: it was the first time he had taken me to the paddock during a race weekend, and we laughed like kids as he showed me around.
“Can you believe this is my life now?” he had said, beaming with pride. “I never would have thought I’d be racing in F1.”
“I always knew you could do it,” I replied, squeezing his hand.
But now, those memories felt tainted, and I needed to focus on myself. It wasn’t easy. There were nights I cried myself to sleep, wondering if I had made the right decision. But with time, and with the help of my therapist, I started to heal. I began to see that I deserved better, that I deserved someone who would love me the way I had always wanted Lando to.
One evening, after finally leaving Lando for good, I found myself at a racing event with friends. It was a chance to distract myself from the whirlwind of emotions I was navigating. As I wandered through the paddock, I was drawn to the sound of laughter.
“Are you lost, or just overwhelmed by all this?” a smooth voice asked. I turned to see Pato O'Ward, the charming IndyCar driver, grinning at me. His eyes sparkled with warmth, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a flicker of something hopeful.
“I guess a little bit of both,” I replied, smiling back.
“Come on, I’ll show you around,” he offered, his energy contagious. As we walked through the paddock, he shared stories about his racing experiences and the thrill of competing. It felt so refreshing to be around someone who was passionate and genuine, without the weight of expectations or drama.
Days turned into weeks, and I found myself spending more time with Pato. He was everything I had needed—funny, respectful, and utterly devoted. He listened to me, understood my past, and never once made me feel like I was in a competition for his attention.
One night, after a thrilling race, he took me to a quiet spot overlooking the track. “You know,” he said, “I’ve been thinking a lot about how important it is to find someone who truly sees you. I see you, and I want to be that person.”
His words resonated deep within me, filling the void Lando had left. In that moment, I knew I had found something special with Pato, something I had longed for but never thought I could have.
Meanwhile, Lando had his own set of problems. He was still juggling relationships, using his charm to keep people around while juggling jealousy over his fellow drivers. I heard from our mutual friends that he was still stuck in the same toxic patterns, always in and out of relationships, always claiming that I was the one who got away.
I remember a race weekend when Charles and Lando got into an argument. I was watching from the sidelines with Pato when Charles approached me, concern etched on his face.
“Are you okay? I know things with Lando have been… complicated,” he said, his gaze shifting to Lando, who was across the paddock, still fuming.
“I’m fine, really. I’ve moved on,” I assured him, but I could see the doubt in his eyes.
Later that evening, I got a message from Lando, who had obviously overheard the chatter.
“I know you’re happy with him, but you’re still mine. You always come back to me, remember?”
It took everything in me not to respond. I had a new life now, a new partner who respected me and didn’t cheat. Lando’s words were just echoes of the past.
Fast forward to our wedding day. I stood in front of the mirror, adjusting my veil, my heart racing with excitement. Pato had become my rock, my partner in every sense of the word. I knew this was the right choice, and my heart was finally at peace.
Then, my phone buzzed. It was a message from Lando.
“I heard you’re getting married. Just wanted to say, I hope you’re happy. But I still think about you. We could’ve had it all, you know.”
I stared at the message, my heart pounding. For a moment, I considered replying. But then I remembered all the sleepless nights, the tears, the heartbreak, and all the promises he had broken.
“Too late,” I typed back, hitting send before I could second-guess myself.
As I walked down the aisle, Pato’s face lit up with joy, and I couldn’t help but smile back. When he took my hands in his, I felt a sense of completeness I hadn’t known in years.
The ceremony was beautiful, I felt a sense of completeness I hadn’t felt in years. When Pato took my hands in his, I knew I was finally moving forward.
As we exchanged vows, Lando’s presence lingered in the back of my mind, but I let it go.
“I promise to love you through every challenge and to celebrate every victory,” he said, his eyes shining with sincerity.
“I promise to choose you every day for the rest of my life,” I replied, my voice steady and full of conviction.
We sealed our vows with a kiss, and I felt liberated. Lando was no longer my story; I was the author of my own life now, and it was a beautiful beginning with Pato. With him by my side, I was ready to embrace the future we would build together, thriving in a relationship based on trust, respect, and love.
As time passed, I learned to appreciate the small moments—the laughter, the late-night talks, the shared dreams of a future together. Pato supported my passions and encouraged me to pursue my own ambitions, something I had never fully experienced before.
One day, I received a message from Max: “Lando’s been a mess since your wedding. He didn’t handle it well.”
I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction. He had always taken me for granted, and now, he was the one left behind.
I hoped Lando would find peace eventually, but I also knew I couldn’t go back to the pain of our past. Pato was everything I needed, and I was determined to focus on our life together.
As our first anniversary approached, Pato planned a surprise getaway. “I want to celebrate us, everything we’ve built,” he said, a bright smile on his face.
We traveled to a beautiful beach destination, where we spent our days relaxing, laughing, and simply enjoying each other’s company. One night, under a sky full of stars, Pato took my hand and said, “You’ve changed my life for the better. I want to keep building this amazing life with you.”
I couldn’t hold back my tears. “You’ve shown me what real love looks like, Pato. I’m so grateful for you.”
His expression softened as he leaned in, kissing me gently.
Then, one day, I got a call from Lando.
“Can we talk?” he asked, voice shaky.
“What do you want, Lando?” I replied, my heart racing.
“I just need to explain… things didn’t go as planned after you left. I’ve made mistakes, and I want you back.”
I paused, memories flooding back. “You had your chance, Lando. I can’t keep going back to the past. I’m happy now. I’ve moved on.”
“But I still love you!” he pleaded. “You were always my main one!”
His words echoed painfully in my mind, but I stood my ground. “You had your chance to prove that. You made your choice.”
The phone call ended, and I sighed with relief. I looked at Pato, who was sitting beside me, and smiled. I had made the right choice.
I felt a sense of peace wash over me. Lando was no longer a part of my narrative. My life was filled with the warmth and love Pato brought into it, and I was excited for the future we would continue to create together.
With Pato, I had learned to love again, not just him, but also myself. And that made all the difference.
Lando’s chapter had closed, and I was finally ready to start anew, with someone who truly valued me, not just as the ‘main one,’ but as the woman I had become.
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