#╰ 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙾𝙻 𝚆. ╯ ⋯ no position or title save oath breaker‚ traitor‚ liar

[fateviled-aa]

𝙶𝙴𝙽𝚈𝙰 ... @heartvalor (continued.)

the winter fete was her busiest time,    she had to tailor more than usual.   found herself glowing at the end of the night.   but not from using her powers   -   but from his gaze.   she felt absolutely beautiful with the captain of the guard’s eyes locked on her as she maneuvers through the party.   only wishing he would come join her.   there was no one she wanted to dance with quite like him.   the man who had held her heart for as long as she remembered.   maybe even since the first time she met him.   about eleven years old,   stubborn with a cut to his head.   given to him as a parting gift from his father.   she had been hurt by men before,   had sworn she would stay far away from love.   and there had chaol westfall been   ...   with that laugh of his and his beautiful smile.

he did not need any tailoring,   no.   genya found him to be absolutely beautiful all by his natural self.   so once the queen is satisfied and settled,   she sneaks to his side.   peering up at him from her short self.            “   the happier moments  ..  are they all with me  ?   i’d hate if you were happy with other grisha ladies around here,   sir.   ”          she speaks,   a faint but still present blush on her cheeks.   one that she was dying to tailor away,   but she lets him see it.   reveals her cards to him.   take me as i am,   chaol.   and she knew he would.   he had never said no to a challenge,   not when they came from her.

“   i wish you’d come dance with me.   i wish i could just   ..   ”           leaning close to breathe against his ear.   lips gently brushing the lobe.           “   i wish i could be in your arms all night,   and show all these rich bastards that i belong here and nowhere else.   ”           feeling herself choke on something uncomfortable.   she knows there are eyes watching.   that the king had people watching her on nights like this,   yet she grips onto his hand.   looking into his eyes with a soft nod.           “   you owe me a dance,  chaol.   ”

and hopefully,   it would be somewhere private where they could laugh and she could finally get the kiss she was yearning for so terribly.

                    finding  himself  so  engulfed  in  his  affection  was  in  itself  a  contradiction  to  everything  that  chaol  westfall  was.    duty-bound  soldier  with  nothing  to  give  but  loyalty  to  his  king,    service  the  escape  that  had  finally  set  him  free  from  the  horrors  of  a  past  whose  memory  still  burned  like  snow  under  his  palms  as  it  mixed  underneath  him.    that  had  been  a  lifetime  ago,    but  the  impression  of  it  had  refused  to  fade;    it  was  meant  to  be  a  reminder  of  why  he  was  who  he  was,    the  push  that  kept  him  on  track  when  thoughts  of  faltering  cascaded  over  him.    (as  if  chaol  had  ever  faltered    —    as  if  he  would  ever  let  himself,    before…      before…)

                    was  that  was  love  was  meant  to  be,    a  contradiction?    all  of  the  stories  had  told  him  otherwise.    to  love  was  harmony,    a  feeling  of  belonging  that  was  more  like  coming  home,    knowing  you  were  where  you  needed  to  be.    with  the  person  you  needed  to  be.    it  certainly  couldn’t  be  the  hammering  of  his  heart,    gazing  down  at  her  and  forgetting  everything  that  came  with  the  word  duty.    only  swallowing,    the  dusting  of  red  over  her  perfect  skin  stirring  something  within  him.      ❝  none  compare  to  what’s  in  front  of  me,    my  lady.    ❞      a  tad  breathless,    more  honest  than  he  thinks  he  was  intending.    chaol  can’t  be  bothered  to  care;    he  would  never  lie  to  her,    not  about  this.

                    ❝  i’m  not  sure  that’s  a  good  idea.  ❞      his  words  soft  enough  to  be  lost  in  the  murmur  of  conversation  around  them,    but  hesitant  in  their  determination.    again,    he  forgets  himself    —    wishing  nothing  more  than  to  wrap  his  arm  around  her  waist,    to  return  the  favor  of  a  shiver  running  down  his  spine  by  tucking  his  fingers  under  her  chin  and  guiding  her  lips  up  to  his.    instead,    he  brushes  his  fingertips  over  her  hand,    the  closest  they  can  come  to  holding  each  other.      ❝  but  someday…  ❞      he  swears,    voice  low.      ❝  all  of  the  dances  you’d  like,    they’ll  be  yours.  ❞  

                    it  wasn’t  a  promise  he  could  make.    he  shouldn’t,    and  yet    —    if  she  said  the  word,    he  would  keep  it.    without  a  second  thought  of  his  responsibilities.    offering  her  a  smile  again,    he  tilts  his  head  towards  the  exit.      ❝  my  shift  will  end  soon,    and  if  you  can  excuse  yourself  even  for  a  moment…    the  garden  looks  lovely  tonight.  ❞

[fateviled-a]

𝙲𝙴𝙻𝙰𝙴𝙽𝙰        .        @malascion​                (    cont.    )

she’s  plenty  selfish.  case  and  point,  she’s  stubbornly  clinging  to  them  when  she  knows,  she  knows  it  was  going  to  hurt  him.  the  king  was  going  to  use  him  to  punish  her  if  she  even  –  did  the  exact  thing  she  was  doing.  “  i  am  protecting  the  future  i  thought  you  wanted,  “  he  wanted  to  play  the  noble  martyr  but  the  minute  she  stepped  up  to  it  -  the  minute  she  was  willing  and  ready  to  even  attempt  to  pursue  that  with  him  he  took  an  issue  ?  “  i  could  escape  now,  “  she  said  lowly,  “  but  he  would  kill  you.  and  nehemia,  and  her  family,  and  i  -  “

palm  against  his  cheek,  taking  a  deep  breath  as  his  fingers  tightened  at  her  waist.  “  if  i  was  selfless,  i’d  leave  you.  but  i  can’t  do  that  either.  “  because  she  wants  this.  wants  him,  and  the  surety  of  him,  and  their  home  on  the  edge  of  the  world.  a  swallow,  “  i  don’t  want  to.”

he  doesn’t  know  how  this  began,    the  new  path  woven  for  him  with  the  strands  of  fate  that  have  pulled  them  together.    but  then,    he’s  never  quite  believed  in  fate  before.    all  of  his  choices  had  been  purposely  made,    he’d  pushed  to  find  a  life  at  his  best  friend’s  side  once.    he’d  found  himself  a  life  he  could  be  proud  of,    serving  king  and  crown.    but  how  did  he  explain  this  want,    the  undeniable  pull  of  a  woman  who  should  have  never  stepped  into  his  life  and  taken  root  in  his  heart  the  way  she  already  had?    it’s  hard  not  to  feel  uneasy  when  something  has  bloomed  between  them  and  the  truth  of  the  danger  they’re  in  revealed.      “my  future  is  irrelevant  if  you  aren’t  in  it.    and  you  are  toeing  a  very  dangerous  line.”      he  couldn’t  swallow  it.    and  he  finds  himself  running  a  frustrated  hand  through  his  hair,    gaze  turned  away  from  her  completely.      and  nehemia,    gods—    it  was  all  twisted  beyond  belief,    and  chaol  hates  that  his  focus  is  solely  on  keeping  the  assassin  safe.

her  skin  is  warm  against  his,    a  familiar  heat  which  pulls  at  his  heartstrings  and  guides  his  eyes  back  to  hers.    he  won’t  let  her  go,    the  same  way  she’s  so  fiercely  determined  to  stay  with  him,    his  hold  on  her  now  the  anchor  keeping  him  from  splintering  at  the  turmoil  within.      “you  are  not  invincible.    if  you  keep  going  down  this  road—      i  can’t  protect  you.”      not  against  the  king,    not  against  everything  he’d  ever  been  told  was  right.  he’s  never  felt  more  like  a  coward.      “i’m  not  selfless  either.    i  want  every  moment  with  you,    but  not  like  this.    not  if  you  choose  to  put  my  life  before  yours.”

[fateviled-aa]

@heartvalor​​ said  —  “ i wish i could just freeze time. let this moment be forever. ” genya @ chaol 

          there  weren’t  many  times  chaol  would  define  himself  as  helpless.    in  truth,    he  was  a  man  who  took  pride  in  being  aware  of  himself  at  all  times;    chaol  didn't  do  helpless.    and  sure,    to  live  in  a  palace  among  grisha  was  an  ordeal  that  often  left  one  feeling  like  they  were  swimming  in  uncharted  waters,   ��but  his  years  in  service  to  the  crown  had  accustomed  him  to  that.    chaol  was  strong,    was  brave,    was  unfaltering.    chaol  had  always  felt  he  was  ready  for  anything  life  threw  at  him.      and  then  life  had  given  him  genya.

          though  the  fete  continued  on  with  beauty  and  grace,    it  held  none  of  his  attention.    and  it  was  beautiful;    even  someone  with  little  interest  in  decor  or  spectacles  could  admit  that.    the  gowns  worn  by  the  women  of  high  society,    painted  faces  and  lips  and  the  ever-present  smiles  that  told  him  everyone  felt  alive.    but  the  whole  night,    he’d  known  none  held  a  candle  to  the  beauty  of  one  person  close  to  his  heart,    and  over  the  crowd  of  people  he’d  been  meant  to  guard,    his  eyes  couldn’t  help  but  seek  her  familiar  shade  of  fire  out.

          now,    she  was  here,    and  chaol  could  admit  within  himself  that  he  was  helpless;    a  helpless  prisoner  to  his  own  desires,    trapped  by  the  affection  that  had  taken  root  within  him  and  only  grown  in  the  years  since  meeting.    and  her  voice,    like  silk  to  his  ears,    only  further  drove  that  feeling  down,    bringing  a  smile  to  his  face  as  he  heard  it.    “i  know  what  you  mean.”    he  shifted  where  he  stood,    eyes  cast  around  the  room  once  more,    trying  to  pretend  everything  he  wanted  wasn’t  right  in  front  of  him.    but  just  as  quickly,    he  looked  to  her  again,    feeling  his  heart  in  his  throat.    (or  was  it  on  his  sleeve  tonight?)    “though…    in  my  mind,    i  can  think  of  happier  moments  to  remember  someday,    if  you’d  like.”

          oh,    what  he  wouldn’t  give  to  not  have  his  duty  now    —  to  be  able  to  ask  her  to  dance,    and  damn  the  consequences  that  would  be  sure  to  come.