#║▌interactions. // vintertsarn. (jamie.)

[drekkavac-moving]

closed plotted starter. // @vintertsarn.

if  having  their  family  separated  again  wasn't  enough ... anya  was  starting  to  feel  the  pressure  from  being  stuck  around  her  brother.  there  had  been  a  time  not  too  long  ago , when  the  two  of  them  wouldn't  go  anywhere  without  the  other.  they  built  a  certain  dependency  on  that  in  the  short  time  they  had  been  on  the  run.  looking  out  for  one  another  was  how  they  survived.  and  then  HYDRA  had  go  and  take  that  away  from  her  too.

over  the  course  of  the  time  she  had  been  back  in  V's  clutches , she'd  only  been  a  pawn  for  him  to  work  his  way  to  the  top.  a  piece  on  a  boardgame  that  he  was  playing  against  their  brother's  handler.  taking  the  one  thing  she  knew  she  could  count  on ... and  turning  her  on  him  like  some  rabid  dog.  what's  more ... when  they  had  actually  been  rescued ... it  all  seemed  like  a  blur.  specifics  of  the  time  they  had  been  captured  completely  blanked  out.  only  to  find  the  truth  from  jamie , and  realizing  that  had  been  by  design.

and  now  he  was  stuck  here  with  her.  she  still  couldn't  really  remember  all  of  it.  professor  xavier  was  working  with  them  on  uncovering  as  much  of  it  as  possible , while  also  looking  after  her  own  mental  well  being.  the  two  went  hand  in  hand ... and  she  wanted  to  remember  all  of  it.  but  that  coupled  with  the  mutations  she  had  developed  made  her  memory  recovery  quite  literally  a  tight-rope  walk.  one  wrong  slip  causing  a  meltdown  and  they'd  be  delayed  for  at  least  a  couple  days.

it  was  raining  that  day ... pretty  hard  too.  any  outdoor  activities  had  been  canceled , leaving  the  students  left  to  find  something  to  do  inside , such  as  studying , or  something  that  preferrably  didn't  wreck  the  house  too  much.  most  of  the  students  had  resorted  to  study  parties , or  quiet  gaming  sessions  in  their  rooms.  anya  had  found  a  quiet  corner  that  was  technically  outside , but  covered  well  enough  from  the  rain  so  she  wouldn't  get  wet.  the  sound  of  the  rain  was  nice , and  the  night  before  she  had  been  kept  up  with  nightmares.  logan  said  it  might  be  the  new  environment  keeping  her  on  edge , which  he  wasn't  completely  wrong  about.  tucked  into  a  corner , she  worked  on  sketching  a  tree  line  across  the  large  open  yard.  allowing  the  pencil  marks  to  help  her  zone  out  and  work  out  the  dreams  she  had.

[ir0nheir]

he was as POSITIVE as he could possibly be with this little experiment. jamie was really the only one jay was sure would forgive him for this ... even if he knew he was going to be more than annoyed. just make sure he doesn't tell his dad about this. he repeated to himself mentally as jamie QUESTIONED the reason for the question , while they stood next to the edge of one of the highest INTERIOR points of the stark tower.

the drop was enough of a height to worry about , which was probably the reason for hesitating as he gave a SHRUG at first for this answer. if everything went the way it was supposed to ... jamie would have nothing to worry about. if it DIDN'T go well ... lets just hope it all went well , shall we?

" because i'm gonna need you to remember that so you don't kill me for this. " that was all the answer he was going to give jamie. that guy was too smart to go along with this if he told him all of it. a SECOND passed , before jay pushed jamie backwards. hard enough to knock him over the railing and freefalling to the first floor from the 20th story. hands came up INSTANTLY , and a display suit from the far corner animated , moving at jay's command and flying after his partner.

moving at a quick speed PAST jamie , before slowing and matching the pace of the falling young man , and then wrapping around him to cradle him , before hovering about three feet from the lobby floor , with an OPENING for him to climb out safely.

" do you trust me? "

@ir0nheir

"Of course I trust you, babe. You're one 'a the few people I do trust." Jamie returned softly, although he did arch a brow as he tilted his head curiously as though he were waiting for a follow-up remark. Not quite suspicious, but a little weary. "Why d'ya ask?"

[80sretroboom]

Jubilation Lee was the complete opposite of Jamie in the way of being able to navigate a conversation. Beyond being a social butterfly, and a very energetic extrovert, Jubilee had been trained in all the ins and outs of conversations because her parents, who themselves are not celebrities, liked to interact and "rub elbows", as it were, with the social elites and celebrities of Beverly Hills, California. Needless to say that they had to know how to talk to people like that and that was an art in and of itself. So being trained in how to talk to people and to navigate conversations, being an energetic extrovert that lost her family in a hinky car crash, and desiring a family made it so that she would talk to most anyone. Ready to befriend anyone. Seeing that this poor guy was struggling and smirked to herself. Hearing that he had called her cool, Jubilee stood up a little straighter and taller. Of course she was cool and she knew it. Duh but still it was nice to hear from someone else. Ya know? Jubilee's face brightened, a huge grin came across her face, she lightly slugged Jamie's shoulder. "Hell Yeah Of course I'm cool! Got that right!" Jubilee excitedly cheered before going into a chuckled. "'nd ya got that right about this place being a prison BUuuuut only sometimes. It's also something like a family. A very weird family but a family, ya know?" Jubilee said with a cheerful but soften solemn tone, as some one reminiscing a fond very fond memory. Her face lighting up hearing about his experience with computers. "Rad! Glad someone else around here, besides me, that's my age and NOT a teacher can do computer stuff. It's right through here." As they round the corner they come to a "door" that didn't look like any standard door, this one was round. In fact all the doors down, in the sublevels of the mansion, were round with a large raised (X) in the middle of the door and a fancy high tech pad in the center, complete with a DOS screen. "Here we are, man. This is th' easy part. Wanna give it a shot t' hack it 'nd get in here or would ya like me t' do it?" Jubilee uses her arm, with the palm up, gestured toward the door for emphasis, the raised an eyebrow and leaned in for her inquiry. She wanted to see Jamie's skill level. This would be fun, Jubilee thought if he was the kind of guy that she thinks she is then this'll be fun for him too.

@vintertsarn

@80sretroboom

Jamie felt as though time had briefly stopped as he simmered within his own awkward embarrassment. Social situations hadn't gotten any easier, even after being in America for a while, pretending to be Pierce's son under duress . All that had improved was the young man's ability to pretend he knew how to navigate a conversation.

Unfortunately, that did no good when he made a wrong assumption, like inferring from what she'd said that it meant she was inviting him anywhere. He tried to subtly bite the inside of his cheek as he huffed a small laugh and looked down briefly to shield his face for a moment before he looked back up at her with a nod.

If he couldn't prevent himself from stumbling over himself intellectually, he could at least hope to make a solid recovery, especially at the mention of her creating mods.

His eyes lit up and his expression even held a little genuine confidence. "Oh, hell yeah," he spoke with enthusiasm, "thank God there's someone cool here. I was startin' to feel like I'd been sent to prison." He laughed a little.

"I've got some decent experience with tech, and with video games."

[drekkavac-moving]

Using  packing  as  an  EXCUSE  to  not  confront  her  feelings  about  her  and  Jamie  had  been  through  worked  for  now.  But  one  of  the  problems  she  was  struggling  with  the  most ... Was  the  fact  that  they  were  about  to  be  STUCK  somewhere  with  Jamie.  In  a  new  place , with  people  they  didn't  trust , and  with  the  absense  of  the  person  that  Anya  had  been  deprived  of  seeing.  It  felt  like  when  all  she  wanted  was  to  be  close  to  her  family ... She  was  being  SENT  AWAY.

Sent  away , from  the  one  person  they  felt  the  most  COMFORTABLE  with , who  knew  a  thing  or  two  what  it  was  like  to  walk  the  path  of  memory  recovery.  Sure  she  had  been  reassured  that  she  would  have  some  of  the  most  CAPABLE  people  for  the  job  there  to  help  her ... But  none  of  them  were  her  dad.

So  sure  it  wasn't  a  place  she  was  going  HATE.  At  least  not  under  normal  circumstances.  Given  that  this  wa  a  place  where  her  comfort  level  was  going  to  be  UNREADABLE ... The  idea  of  not  hating  that  place  was  more  of  a  foreign  concept  to  her.

" I'd  hate  an  Elton  John  if  it  meant  Dad  wasn't  gonna  be  there. "  �� They  countered  rather  quick.  Giving  him  a  DEADPAN  look  before  continuing  her  task  of  packing  her  bag.  Sitting  in  silence  for  a  moment , and  only  after  a  few  moments  of  silence , and  the  task  there  to  distract  her  from  having  to  look  Jamie  in  the  eye , continued  voicing  her  feelings  on  the  matter.  Something  she  was  RARELY  known  to  do.

" I  don't ... WANT  to  like  it  there. "    Hell , she  hadn't  known  if  she  was  going  to  still  be  alive  a  couple  weeks  ago.  Which  was  why  she  felt  so  guilty  about  what  had  been  the  driving  force  to  send  the  kids  away.  If  she  HADN'T  been  separated , then  she  wouldn't  have  been  poisoned , and  maybe ... Just  maybe ... He  wouldn't  be  so  scared  of  being  with  them.  Until  then , the  plan  had  been  to  stay  together.    " Maybe  I  deserve  this. "

@oozeyboozey

Since he had noticed the detail of her eyes and how they had CHANGED, Jamie had done his best to push it out of his mind. It had been like a thread that had kept them connected. Even in the first couple of forced combat sessions, he had seen those eyes and had tried desperately to both derive comfort from them while also providing some for his twin.

It clearly had been an unsuccessful attempt.

He'd tried to tell himself that they had shifted their eyes because they had MISSED THEIR FATHER, but deep down he knew the truth. Jamie had become a source of PAIN for her, in every way. At least, that was how he saw it.

As Anya continued on with her packing, he allowed his shoulders to fall. There was no release of tension in his body, there was simply a sort of RESIGNATION. Really, that had been his near constant state of being in general for the last YEAR.

As discreetly as he could, Jamie looked away and quickly banished the unshed tears with the side of his hand, reaffirming his own resolve in his head to keep his SHIT TOGETHER long enough to carry on a conversation with the person that he'd once been the closest with.

"Can't argue with ya, there..." he conceded, "but maybe..." he shrugged loosely, "I dunno, maybe we'll get t' this school and it'll actually be...NICE." He hooked his thumbs into the belt loops of his pants. "No matter why we're bein' sent there, why would our dads send us somewhere we were gonna HATE?" Trying to appeal to Anya's emotions at that moment wasn't going to get him far, so instead he was attempting to reach their LOGIC.

[drekkavac-moving]

things  between  anya  and  their  brother  were  𝙰𝙻𝚆𝙰𝚈𝚂  to  some  degree  ,  going  to  be  a  bit  tense.  the  people  who  hurt  them  their  entire  childhoods  ,  had  seen  it  fit  to  attempt  to  make  them  enemies  of  one  another  ,  &  aside  from  that ...  competition  that  would  soon  have  to  be  taken  out  by  the  other.  it  made  sense  ,  in  some  sick  ,  cruel  irony.  if  you  looked  at  it  the  right  way.

that  coupled  with  the  new  addition  of  𝚁𝚄𝙲𝙺𝚄𝚂  ,  well ... now  it  wasn't  just  up  to  them.  now  there  was  someone  else  involved  in  the  mix.  whethere  they  liked  it  or  not.

his  reaction  𝚆𝙰𝚂𝙽'𝚃  𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙿𝚁𝙸𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶  to  her.  it  might  have  been  to  some  people  ,  but  being  his  twin  𝚍𝚒𝚍  𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎  𝚒𝚝'𝚜  𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚜.  they'd  learned  well  before  most  people  that  half  the  time  when  jamie  was  𝙱𝙴𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚁𝚃  ,  it  had  less  to  do  with  any  one  person  in  particular  ,  &  more  to  do  with  𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴  around  him.

❝ so  you're  tired  then. ❞    they  stated  very  𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛  𝚘𝚏  𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢.  a  bluntness  to  their  tone  that  when  spoken  allowed  ,  almost  seemed  like  a  mockery  of  jamie's  plite.  she  nodded  ,  looking  down  at  his  plate  where  he  pushed  some  food  about  ,  before  using  her  own  utensil  to  scoop  up  some  miixed  veggies  into  her  mouth.    ❝ it's  been  easier  for  you  to  get  tired  lately.  you  should  slolw  down. ❞    they  didn't  look  up  while  they  spoke.  instead  focusing  on  their  food  ,  it  was  𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙴𝚁  that  way.    ❝ you  make  mistakes  when  you  don't  slow  down  &  rest. ❞    not  innacurate  ,  but  also  most  definitely  an  analysis  on  her  own  character  ,  mirrored  onto  him.

@oozeyboozey

Disassociation had been one of the tools that Jamie had utilized the MOST in his lifetime thus far. It was the one tried and true method for him, and while it was far from anything that could be considered HEALTHY...he was still ALIVE, so it had to have been working on some level. On more than one occasion, he had caught himself staring out one of the windows of PIERCE'S HIGHRISE, wondering just how THICK that glass really was...

Even being out of HYDRA'S clutches for a while though, the habit had obviously stuck around. That sort of coping mechanism wasn't something that ever really just VANISHED. It could crop up at completely innocuous times, during breakfast or while staring out the car window. It could also show up when the more traumatic memories were TRIGGERED.

Neither time was pleasant. Nor unpleasant. It was NOTHING, and it was the only time that his abilities pertaining to his senses felt LESSER. Everything was so prone to becoming too much, that his mind reached desperately for a VOID. He would stare off into the distance and slowly everything would fall away and all of his racing thoughts would cease to exist.

If anyone could ROLL UP THEIR SLEEVES and reach right into the void though, it was ANYA.

When asked about it, his automatic response was to say that he was just THINKING...that excuse didn't fly with her, though.

Jamie turned his head to look at them, arching a brow at his sibling with incredulity.

"Alright fine, NANCY DREW," he countered with a tint of snark in his tone. "I was zonin' out." He pushed at some of the food that was still on his plate, allowing his eyes to fall to where his fork was rather than his sister's eyes that mirrored his own.

"Not like you're a chatterbox, anyway, I dunno what ya want from me..." He had found himself a little more touchy than usual, and he felt a sting of guilt when he got so snippy with his family, but it felt like he had no control over where he aimed it.

[drekkavac-moving]

there  was  a  part  of  her  that  wanted  to  scream  that  none  of  this  was  fair  on  her , or  jamie  or  jen  for  that  matter.  the  three  of  them  had  spent  long  enough  around  people  they  didn't  trust.  and  while  this  really  was  the  most  certain  way  to  keep  them  safe  for  now ... anya  couldn't  help  but  feel  like  they  had  become  too  much  of  a  problem  to  handle.  what  was  worse ... that  was  a  thought  she  had  been  thinking  before  they  even  came  up  with  this  option.

there  was  a  want  for  an  affection  she  had  started  to  grow  accustomed  to.  something  that  was  able  to  calm  her  during  the  time  where  they  had  foolishly  thought  themselves  to  be  safe.  a  desire  for  her  brother's  hug  after  so  long  without  it.  but  as  intensly  as  she  had  wanted  that , she  had  rememebered  vividly  the  aftermath  of  their  little  fighting  matches  they  were  set  up  on , and  suddenly  all  she  could  think  about  was  protecting  him  from  what  they  might  do.

she  flinched  back  slightly.  not  for  any  desire  to  be  away  from  him , but  a  protective  measure  against  her  own  self , only  to  lean  into  the  hand  on  her  shoulder ... except  she  hadn't  noticed  the  movement  herself.  one  thing  that  anya  had  never  quite  been  able  to  figure  out , was  how  to  hide  what  she  was  really  feeling  from  him.  that  was  the  trouble  with  twins  though , it  was  hard  to  lie  to  the  other  half  of  you.  especially  after  everything  they  had  been  through.

so  she  kept  her  gaze  brief , but  chanced  a  moment  to  look  up  at  him.  eyes  that  had  once  been  identical  to  hers , now  didn't  match.  she  stopped  showin  the  true  color  of  her  eyes  when  looking  in  the  mirror  and  seeing  her  brother's  eyes  became  too  much.  instead  settling  on  two  blue  eyes  that  matched  their  fathers  eyes.  ice-cold  blue.  in  those  eyes  though , the  glimpse  of  someone  who  felt  shame  for  what  had  happened. she  grabbed  for  the  next  shirt  on  the  pile , shoving  it  into  the  bag  so  she  had  something  to  distract  her.

"  our  whole  life  has  been  nothing  but  bullshit.  "    she  corrected.  sniffling  some  before  wiping  her  nose  with  the  sleve  of  her  sweater.    "  why  expect  that  to  be  any  different  now?  "

@oozeyboozey

There had been times even MID-COMBAT when Jamie had been able to see both the subtle and the obvious SHIFTS that appeared in Anya's entire attitude and demeanor. He couldn't be sure as to WHY, and he certainly wasn't privy to the fact that in Jamie's absence in their life, her mind had supplemented her with a DIFFERENT SORT OF TWIN. One that wouldn't LEAVE HER BEHIND as Jamie had been made to do. Whether that was a curse or a blessing would be told in time.

He was sure that there was MUCH about his sibling that he wasn't privy to at this point.

With Jamie's self-made list of mistakes and transgressions, along with the way that the twins couldn't yet make any genuine EYE-CONTACT, he had managed to convince himself that maybe Anya would have been better off WITHOUT HIM. That was going to have to be her call though...because he had felt so alone in America that even if it turned out that Anya HATED HIS GUTS, he wouldn't leave her side again. Not until she told him to. In the meantime, he would be grateful for the contact he could make, and he would listen closely to what Anya had to say.

Jamie's brow pinched together at the leap of logic that Anya had made in regards to their father's reasoning behind sending them away. He hadn't even CONSIDERED THAT as a possibility, that seeing Anya hurting the way that they were might right too true to the former Winter Soldier. He didn't want to believe that was the reasoning...but he couldn't disqualify it either. What's more, the pang that he felt in his chest at the thought of that must have been TENFOLD for his twin. They had, after all, always had a closer relationship with Bucky.

All of that came to a head as he watched Anya's expression CRUMBLING under the weight of her true feelings, and without even realizing it, tears had welled up in his eyes as well.

Without hesitation, he started to approach closer to her, only stopping just about two feet from them as he realized what kind of situation that he might be creating by suddenly invading her space. He just wanted to GIVE HER A HUG. He wanted to offer her comfort, but felt USELESS in doing so.

Rather than an embrace, he closed the distance by placing his hand upon her shoulder and giving it a small squeeze, an action that he'd seen their dad use in the more distant past.

"I dunno if you SHOULD blame him, if he's doin' this to avoid gettin' HURT..." He let go of her shoulder and allowed his hand to fall to his side then. "But I know that his hurt doesn't cancel YOUR HURT out. Even if this really is th' right choice, it doesn't mean it's not...BULLSHIT."

[drekkavac-moving]

it  wasn't  easier  for  her  to  avoid  her  brother.  not  by  a  long  shot.  what  she  never  really  talked  about  to  anyone , was  the  whole  time  she  was  wherever  they  happened  to  take  her , and  while  her  brother  was  livin  stateside ... she  felt  hollow.  like  a  piece  of  her  was  somewhere  far  away.  she  knew  now  that  was  jamie.  little  memories  she  kept  secret  from  v  when  she  realized  he  was  makin  memories  that  jeaopordized  his  control  over  her , that  she  kept  hidden  for  herself  to  visit  and  attempt  to  figure  out.

they  seemed  the  most  clear.  she  knew  who  he  was  at  least.  something  she  had  for  one  reason  or  another ... decided  to  hold  onto  even  when  she  was  told  to  fight  him , or  attempt  to  take  him  out.  it  didn't  make  any  of  it  easier.  but  it  was  the  last  bit  she  had  to  hold  onto  the  family  that  was  coming  to  get  them.  even  if  she  couldn't  remember  them , because  they  were  tucked  away  safely.

she  needed  to  say  something.  but  just  like  every  other  time  in  her  life , when  she  was  confronted  with  something  that  made  her  uncomfortable ... she  froze.

worried  lips  rolled  against  one  another  as  he  laid  out  just  how  painful  she  was  making  this  for  both  of  them.  of  course  it  would  be  easier  if  she  could  just  look  him  in  the  eyes.  if  only  it  were  that  simple  of  a  thing  to  overcome.  next  came  the  subtle  shuffling  on  her  feet.  a  signature  move  that  she  was  uncomfortable.  but  if  she  was  good  at  one  thing ... it  was  pushing  through  pain.

"  i  remembered  you.  "    she  finally  admits.  though  it's  more  spat  out.  "  i  started  having  dreams , memories  about  stuff  i  didn't  understand.  i  told  v .. my  handler ... and  the  next  thing  i  knew  they  were  gone.  "    she  realised  that  didn't  really  answer  his  question , resulting  in  a  frustrated  sigh.    "  i  can't  look  you  in  the  eye  because  those  were  the  only  thing  that  stayed  familiar ... and  it  didn't  matter.  " 

@oozeyboozey

On a couple of occasions where the siblings had been made to fight one another, Jamie had been GENUINELY TEMPTED to just lay down his weapons. To STOP FIGHTING Anya altogether and just...allow her to fulfill her inevitable mission.

Thankfully, his raw WILL TO LIVE always prevailed. That was made much easier though by the fact that he was at least allowed his will of THOUGHT. So often in combat, it felt like his twin was operating on sheer instinct, as well as an INABILITY to recognize, let alone adhere to her limitations.

Each time he DID walk away from those matches, still alive...and each time, he spent the entire flight back to the states thinking about how if he had just done SOMETHING to turn the tables on their handlers...if he had just been STRONG ENOUGH, he could have saved his sister. After a while, he begun to wonder if what he lacked though was the COURAGE TO TRY.

At the very least, she had accepted his compliment to her drawing, which was...SOMETHING. It was better than the stonewalling that both of the twins were attempting at nearly every given moment. Both of them so terrified of the resentment and anger that they were both SO SURE that the other must feel...despite the fact that they themselves didn't cast blame on their sibling.

Then, in the blink of an eye, Anya appeared to be attempting to FLEE THE ROOM. Jamie's shoulders fell instantly as his mood visibly deflated and he moved to push both of his hands through his hair to push it out of his face in moderate frustration. His hands remained atop his head briefly as he spoke. Though it was in RUSSIAN.

"For the love of GOD, Anya, is it REALLY easier to spend the rest of our lives avoiding one another than to just try to APOLOGIZE?" His hands fell to his sides and hit his jeans with a muted smack. He was at a loss. He was feeling...USELESS.

"I can't go back and change anything, and I couldn't do anything while I was stateside, but I want to do something NOW. I want to help you NOW. How can I do anything if you won't even LOOK at me?"

[drekkavac-moving]

where  at  one  point  their  brother  had  been  someone  she  would  have  run  to  in  this  circumstance , she  couldn't  bring  herself  to  look  at  him  after  the  time  they  had  spent  separated.  it  hadn't  been  spoken , not  by  her  at  least.  the  large  bulk  of  the  reasoning  being  the  shame , but  there  was  also  a  lot  of  what  happened  that  she  couldn't  quite  remember.  things  v  had  told  her  she  did , and  shown  her  through  cctv  footage  that  she  could  only  really  recall  as  having  been  a  dream.

there  was  a  sea  of  confusion  in  her  mind , but  there  was  also  a  hatred  of  herself  for  the  confusions  she  felt.  she  could  and  couldn't  remember  what  she  had  been  forced  to  do  to  jamie.  the  times  their  handlers  would  pit  them  against  one  another  for  the  sake  of  their  own  fucking  agenda  for  climbing  the  ladder  of  success.  she  was  used  as  a  weapon , one  someone  who  was  quite  literally  half  of  her  whole  soul.  in  a  way ... she  felt  like  she  was  attacking  a  part  of  herself.

what  made  it  worse , was  that  she  couldn't  stop.  much  as  she  wanted  to  say  no.  to  fight  it  in  the  slightest , the  best  she  could  get  away  with  was  the  pained  look  in  her  eyes  once  she  had  been  turned  onto  her  brother.

then  there  was  her.  when  the  pain  became  too  much , the  killer  they  had  so  desperately  wanted  her  to  become , she  was  the  one  who  started  taking  over.  she  was  the  one  who  offered  to  hurt  jamie  so  anya  wouldn't  have  to  watch.  and  like  a  coward ... she  thought  it  would  work.  but  it  didn't.  not  even  close.

all  that  had  done , was  made  her  feel  like  she  was  locked  in  the  trunk  of  a  car.  unable  to  get  out  and  help  their  brother.  or  at  best ... like  she  had  run  and  hidden  in  a  closet  so  someone  else  could  do  their  dirty  work.  as  of  now , it  had  been  her  own  little  secret.  something  she  was  too  afraid  to  mention  to  a  single  soul.  ( v  was  the  one  they  could  thank  for  that. )  so  when  the  door  opened  and  jamie  of  all  people  stepped  into  the  room , she  naturally  felt  her  throat  tighten  at  the  stress  of  the  situation.  quickly  redirecting  her  attention  to  the  bag  she  had  been  packing.

"  there's  nothing  to  check ,  "    she  spoke  plainly.  stuffing  some  plain  colored  tshirts  into  her  bag  with  a  bit  of  frustration  with  the  garments.  even  though  that  wasn't  where  she  wanted  to  direct  that  frustration.  there  was  a  small stretch  of  silence.  mostly  due  to  anya  not  really  knowing  what  to  say  to  him.  everything  she  thought  about  saying  she  quickly  shut  down  for  the  sake  of  convincing  herself  that  jamie  didn't  want  to  hear  it.    "  he  still  making  comfort  food?  "  last  she  had  known , bucky  had  mentioned  making  latkes , given  they  had  been  their  favorite  they  had  discovered  in  their  culinary  adventure  into  their  culture. she  could  see  that  as  peace  offering , leaving  anya  defiant  in  accepting  it.  she  didn't  want  comfort  food.  she  wanted  someone  who  understood  what  it  felt  like  to  not  remember.

"  i  don't  blame  him  for  sending  us  away.  "    she  reasoned.  still  not  looking  at  jamie , but  using  the  packing  as  a  distraction  so  she  could  get  the  words  out  without  becoming  uncomfortable  with  the  contact.    "  it's  not  fair  to  expect  him  to  watch  what  happened  to  him  happen  to  me.  i  know  this.  i  know  i  should  be  okay  with  it ...  "    she  trailed  off  in  her  reasoning.  her  logical  brain  haulted  by  the  little  girl  that  had  been  desparate  for  the  person  she'd  always  known  to  protect  her.  their  face  curled  and  scrunched.  her  eyes  wet  with  tears  she  tried  her  hardest  to  hold  in.  her  hair  color  shifting  to  a  dark  blueis  grey  color.  similar  to  the  color  of  the  clouds  before  a  massive  storm  started.  she  lost  the  battle  with  her  emotions.  her  hand  coming  up  to  cover  her  face  and  the  tears   that  now  fell  freely  now  that  the  emotional  dam  had  been  brought  down.

@oozeyboozey

It was INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to not feel like the world had just settled down, just for it to be swept out from under not only JAMIE'S feet, but also his twin's, as well as Jenny's.

Freedom hadn't been something that he thought was possible for him any longer, for ANYONE that was being held by HYDRA. It felt like no matter if they were PLAYING IT SAFE or not, if the organization that had resolved to use PEOPLE as WEAPONS had a mark...they reached it. It could take a few months, or a few DECADES...but they didn't GIVE UP.

When the ESCAPE had happened, when Jamie had finally been removed from the grasp of Alexander Pierce, it felt like it was a fever dream. IMPOSSIBLE. Only when he met Anya's gaze upon that quinjet, albeit BRIEFLY before she turned away from him, did he really seem to process the fact that their fathers had actually COME THROUGH and pulled the twins and Jenny out of the hellfire that they were trapped in for YEARS...

Yet NOW...they were all three being SENT AWAY. There was some man, some STRANGER that was on his way to pick them all up and take them to some...SPECIAL SCHOOL. It didn't make any real sense to Jamie on its FACE, really, seeing as how it had been within the LESS THAN AN HOUR that Anya and Jamie had been separated from their parents, when HYDRA had managed to recapture them both.

Shouldn't the SAFEST PLACE have been right there, with their dads?

All of it was just...hitting too close to home when it came to the feelings that it elicited in Jamie. He didn't want any special attention from another adult EVER AGAIN if it could be helped. Jamie had much preferred when PIERCE had been too involved in business to pay him TOO MUCH mind at all. When he would be pawned off on whatever handler had been chosen at that time.

The attention he'd received from the OVERLY AMBITIOUS AND MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE MAN, was something that he wished he could ERASE FROM HIS MIND COMPLETELY.

The logical part of his brain had been trying to rationalize that the adults in this situation were correct, but the emotional facets had seemingly PUT THEIR FOOT DOWN about how they were going to cope with this news...and they were apparently going to cope with TIGHT-JAWED GLANCES at damn near every adult that came in his path, and very little else in the way of communication. Unfortunately, he also still felt the residual guilt that came with such a silent treatment. Which only succeeded in compounding the upset that was swirling within his chest. All of those feelings had reached a fever pitch the day that they were all due to be picked up, so he KNEW that he wasn't the only one dealing with anxiety. He'd been able to speak with Jen at least, although there was part of him that had felt compelled not to gripe too much to her.

Now though...he had gathered all of his courage just so he could approach the door of his sibling's bedroom. He could already hear Anya's movement within the room, their footsteps being just as distinct as they had ever been, no matter how light they also were. Hell, if he FOCUSED hard enough, he could hear the sound of her heart beating ROUGHLY in her chest.

He had reached out and retracted his hand a few times outside the door before finally taking a deep breath and completing the task of reaching out to knock. Only when he had the go-ahead did he open the door to her room, taking a couple of steps inside gently and closing the door behind him with the assumption that she had it closed FOR A REASON. He couldn't blame her for any feelings that she was harboring, towards their parents OR towards him.

"Hey..." he tried not to look like he was approaching a feral cat that might lash out at him, "I uhm..." he pulled the fingers of his right hand through his hair, "I wanted t' come check in on you..." He adjusted the weight on his feet in an attempted to loosen some of the tension in his form.

[drekkavac-moving]

the  closest  thing  to  a  startle  that  she  had  gotten , was  the  way  her  shoulders  stiffened  slightly  when  she  heard  footsteps.  she  could  tell  who  he  was.  before  he  even  said  anything.  v  used  the  fact  that  they  knew  one  another  so  well  against  her  like  that.  you  didn't  really  forget  certain  things  about  how  your  twin  movied , spoke , existed.  it  made  her  better  at  defeating  him.  or  rather ... she  was  pretty  sure  v's  intention  would  be  that  one  day  she'd  kill  him.

so  by  the  time  she  looked  up  to  see  her  brother , she  knew  she  would  be  looking  back  at  identical  eyes  to  her  own  mismatched  blue  green  ones.  ones  that  she  could  remember ... or  at  least  she  thought  she  could  remember ... both  good  and  bad  memories.  memories  of  both  laughing  with  her  brother , and  ones  where  she  was  laying  blow  after  blow  on  him.

it  was  never  full  memories  either.  it  always  seemed  broken  up.  like  their  were  gaps  in  a  feed  of  footage.  like  someone  had  gone  in  and  tampered  with  the  footage.  turning  the  brightness  down  until  there  was  nothing  but  black.  it  was  infuriating .. but  also  left  her  feeling  like  the  one  not  in  on  the  joke.  not  that  any  of  this  was  jamie'  fault  of  course.  which  only  added  to  the  guilt  she  felt  whenever  she  looked  at  him.  none  of  this  was  his  fault.  he  played  his  part  just  like  she  did.  both  of  them  victims  in  all  of  this.  maybe  that  was  why  she  was  so  uncomfortable  with  the  whole  situation.  all  she  was  left  to  do  was  feel  a  shred  of  empathy.

something  she  was  terrible  at  doing.

her  eyes  studied  him  while  he  praised  her  spot  that  she  had  chosen.  that  and  the  sketch  she  was  working  on , which  caused  her  to  break  her  glance  so  she  could  look  it  over.  she  hadn't  been  trying  to  make  it  good.  different  styles  drawn  about  the  page  while  she  let  her  mind  wander.  keeping  her  hands  busy  was  helpful  when  she  needed  to  think , and  she  couldn't  really  clean  guns  her , so  sketching  was  what  she  settled  with.

"  thanks ,  "    wow  anya.  that  was  soooo   profound.  she  winced  internally  at  her  flubb  of  a  thanks.  anya  had  never  been  very  good  at  flattery , giving  or  receiving  it.  she  thought  about  looking  up  at  him , but  the  first  couple  of  times  left  her  hesitating.  the  third  time  though , she  did  manage  to  give  a  sheepish  look  up  at  him , but  eyes  quickly  darted  to  look  around  them.    "  were  you  wanting  t'hang  out  here?  cause  i  can  go  sketch  somewhere  else.  "

quickly , she  was  hurrying  to  her  feet.  gathering  her  sketchbook  and  her  pencil  bag  to  start  shoving  them  into  her  bag.  trying  her  best  to  put  on  a  casual  mask  in  order  to  get  out  of  the  situation  quickly.    "  i've  been  out  here  since  lunch  and ... oof.  "    she  took  a  moment  to  glance  at  the  watch  on  her  wrist , seeing  it  was  about  an  hour  before  dinner.    "  guess  i  lost  track  of  time.  "

@oozeyboozey

One of the BIGGEST struggles that Jamie was contending with was the guilt that HE FELT. As ludicrous as it sounded, the teen actually felt a heavy and burdensome REMORSE for the 'QUALITY' of his former internment. Sure, he'd had no more of a choice than his sibling in how everything ended up...but that didn't level out the scales of any sort of JUSTICE.

Anya was still being subjected to near constant pain and manipulation, physical or emotional, and made to CLING TO the man that was holding her captive...while JAMIE had been permitted to go to the ARCADE on Saturdays. Well, he was mandated to, in order to keep up appearances.

He didn't have the wisdom or experience yet to understand that there was no point in COMPARING pain and trauma. Right now, he was a teenage boy, and he hadn't been able to do JACK SHIT to stop HYDRA from hurting his sister.

In his mind, Anya HAD TO hate him. While she had been forced into training and experimentation, Jamie had known what it was like to go to the movies.

It would explain the way Anya's efforts in their forced combat sessions had kicked into HIGH GEAR not long before both of the twins had been rescued by their parents.

Anya's very MIND ITSELF had been tampered with to the extent that the Professor had been having to enter her mindspace in order to walk with her through the proper memories.

Jamie's psyche had been allowed to develop to the extent that he knew what he thought was RIGHT, but he genuinely had been made to believe it didn't MATTER. HYDRA was a formidable and professional organization full of ADULTS that knew better than the naïve people of the public, let alone a CHILD. A more extreme version of telling a younger person that they just DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE WORLD.

Jamie had internalized it by then, and much of the time appeared apathetic to most things around him. He wasn't RESIGNED to anything, he was always alert, always anxious, always ready to be on the defensive if need be. It was just a QUIET HELL that was mostly of his own mind's making. He imagined trying to talk to his sister, REALLY TALK to her, but every scenario that played out in his head ended with Anya resenting him even MORE. He had started to actively sabotage any attempt by just...avoiding her. He had convinced himself that it was better for her, until the Professor could get her through her initial healing at least.

When he had come out to get some FRESH AIR though, he had happened upon Anya...and no matter how much his mind was panicked and telling him to bolt, he was frozen in place, his jaw tight...then he gathered some courage.

Jamie walked forward, though he made sure not to keep his steps too quiet. He wanted her aware of him, not to get startled by him. While he was still a few feet from where she was sat, he spoke.

"Well, th' rain sucks, but at least you've got a good way t' pass the time," he mused. Immediately feeling like he wanted to just evaporate and float away to avoid how much he was inwardly cringing at his attempt to talk to his own sister. "Looks great so far," he added, rolling his lips and shifting his weight on his feet slightly as he tucked his hands into his pockets.