#┆𝓻𝓪𝓯𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓷 . . ᡣ𐭩 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

amordixon · 1 year ago

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𖥔 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𖥔

summary ; rafe begins to push you away when he realises the true nature of his feelings towards you.

pairing ; rafe cameron x pogue!fem!reader

notes ; this series will contain mature themes, such as : p in v sex, fingering, oral sex (f and m receiving), swearing, physical altercations, potential nightmares and anxiety, arguments, drinking and drugs. if i forgot any please let me know.

do not transfer, translate or share my work to any other sites.

love is a complicated thing. it could either make you feel like the happiest person alive, or it could, to put it plainly, destroy you.

it was daunting to love someone that was as far out of your reach that even the prospect of it was unimaginable. that the thought alone of being able to hold them in your arms and know for sure that they felt the same way seemed far less likely than for you to reach up into the night sky and touch the stars that littered it.

and yet, the worst part, was having experienced the love that they were so capable of giving and knowing that it would never be real because you were from two different worlds, and you would never be good enough in their eyes.

these were the sort of thoughts that had tormented your mind as you watched rafe from across the room. his stature stiffens as he says those four words, declaring your presence an issue, and your heart falls heavy.

you felt as though your whole world had stopped spinning, but the bustling chatter from the crowd downstairs reminds you otherwise.

panic slowly begins to settle in, and you find yourself second-guessing your actions before turning on your heel and motioning back towards the door. your hand reaches for the handle, but stops when you feel the cool metal between your fingers.

you weren't entirely sure what you wanted to say to rafe, but you knew you had to say something.

"is that really all you have to say?" your voice is shaky as you grit your teeth, your fist softly pressing against the wooden door before dropping your hand and turning back to him.

rafe slowly looks to you. his eyes reddened from the alcohol he had consumed, but at least this time, he doesn't look away. he stares you right in the eye, and with a slight slur in his words, he extends his arms out to his sides and says, "and what exactly were you expecting?"

"oh, i don't know. maybe you could start with an explanation? maybe you could tell me why you've been avoiding me all day? declining my calls and ignoring my texts?" you bit down on your lip, fighting the mixture of anger, bewilderment and distress that was coursing through you.

"i don't know what you're talking about," he shakes his head, a smug smile on his lips.

"don't lie to me!"

your sudden outburst spreads fear in his eyes. "shh! do you want someone to hear you?" he whispers loudly, waving his hand at the door out of frustration.

"well, i'm clearly not getting any answers from you. maybe someone else will?" it was a threat. you were threatening him, and he knew you meant it.

he takes a seat on the bench in the middle of the room now, his steps a little staggered, and lets out a sigh as he does. he removes his gaze from you, burying his face in his hands and you can't help but notice the way his leg had begun to slightly bounce out of what was most likely nerves.

despite the annoyance you were feeling towards him and everything he had put you through - the constant mixed signals, the blatant ignoring and then refusing to admit he had done so - you could see that something was really bothering him.

"i can't... " he exhales, shaking his head. "i can't let this... us... you... jeopardise everything."

a sigh of disbelief falls from your lips as your brows inch together, "might i remind you that you were the one that asked me to stay last night? you were the one that initiated it, and you were the one that risked us getting caught. so don't you dare think for a second that i'm going to take the blame for whatever repercussions follow."

"i know, okay? i know that this is all my fault," he says flatly. it was the first time he had ever admitted that he was wrong.

"well, since we're admitting things. there's something you need to know," you say timidly, knowing full well that what you were about to tell him was really going to push him over the edge. "... sarah knows."

rafe's head snaps in your direction, and you watch the fear in his eyes multiply as he swallows hard, "what do you mean 'sarah knows'?"

"she heard us last night, well, specifically... me," you knew you shouldn't have, but you couldn't stop the slight smirk from tugging at the corner of your lips as you recall what exactly had caused sarah to hear you. "she doesn't know it was me, just that you had a girl in your room."

"fuck," he bellows, pushing himself back onto his feet and begins pacing. he brushes his hands across his buzzed head, letting them stop at the back of his neck as he takes in a deep breath.

then, out of nowhere, he slams his fits into one of the lockers. the blow causes you to jolt back in shock as you let out a small yelp. silence quickly fills the room as you try to process rafe's reaction, leaving you to wonder why he was so adamant about keeping you a secret, if not just for the fact that you were a pogue by choice.

it was the first time you had ever seen him so angry, so frightened, and not just at the situation, but at himself too.

it was no secret that rafe wasn't an angel - he was far from it. but he had never once shown this sort of aggression in front of you before, and it only made you worry even more about the consequences of people finding out.

his face contorts into a series of emotions as he leans his head against the locker. the regret he felt was evident in his actions and the look on his face. he hated the fact that he had let himself be vulnerable with you, something he had sworn he could never do, and now it was coming back to bite him in the ass.

"rafe..." you approach him cautiously. not because you were scared or worried that he would hurt you, you already knew he would never, but you didn't want to startle him. he was deep within his thoughts, mumbling words of deprecation to himself. "rafe... it's going to be okay."

"how? how could you possible know that?" he tilts his head to the side, jaw tightening once again. "how the hell are we-"

rafe is interrupted by the sound of footsteps echoing in the hallway outside, followed by multiple voices. he quickly urges towards you, clasping a hand firmly over your mouth and a tiny gasp escapes.

and yet, despite the security outside, his sudden closeness doesn't go by unnoticed. you want to move, to pull away, but his gaze is binding you to him, and a shaky breath leaves your lips. just loud enough for him to hear as his eyes flicker across your own.

he raises a finger to his lips, gesturing you to be quiet, and you simply give in and nod as you wait.

eventually, the footsteps recede, and so do the voices. rafe heaves a relieved sigh, lowering his hand, but the intensity of his gaze remains. and still, neither of you dare to move.

it took you until then to notice that the two of you were panting quietly, and with each breath, your bodies pressed against each other with the remnants of adrenaline lingering in the air. you weren't entirely sure when rafe had put his hands on your waist, but they held onto you with such urgency that it felt almost desperate.

"rafe, what are-" you almost choke on your words, but before you could get another out, he interrupts you by pressing a hard impassioned kiss to your lips. you're too shocked to reciprocate, and he pulls away before you can even think to do so yourself.

a shiver of anticipation runs through you at his touch, and after a moment, you meet him halfway in another heated kiss. the second your lips touch, you feel sparks exploding in your chest, and you lean into it more as rafe responds with more intensity.

wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, he runs his hands down your hips as he backs you into the lockers. one of his hands runs down your thigh before hoisting it up, letting it curl around his waist, igniting you with ecstasy. your body feels electric.

"y/n," you hear your name in the back of his throat, and suddenly your mind runs away from you, idly, reminding you of why you had risked getting caught to follow him up the stairs in the first place, and you're enveloped with irritation.

"wait, rafe. stop," you turn your face away from him, and he's quick to respond. he pulls himself away just as you had asked despite the confusion laced in his features. "i can't do this. i can't - i can't keep letting myself fall into your trap."

he backs away for a beat, opening his mouth to speak but closes it as you fix your dress and make yourself presentable again. you look to him with a softening expression and say, "i need to know why you did it. why did you ask me to stay if you were just going to leave? was it because of me? were you ashamed of waking up beside me?"

"what? no- that's not..." rafe immediately tries to shut the accusations down and his brows furrow with denial.

"then why? was it all just a part of your plan to mess with my head?" he reaches for your hands, but you pull them away before he can make contact and sniff back the tears that had pooled in the corners of your eyes. "do you have any idea what it felt like to wake up alone in your bed?"

"y/n, i-"

"or to make me think that somewhere deep down you might actually feel something for me only to just get hurt even more?"

"fuck, y/n. no. i don't know- i don't..." his fingers trail across his brows nervously as he begins pacing again. "you just... you get inside my head, and then i can't... i can't stop thinking about you, and it's killing me, okay? but we can't... i can't-"

"-can't admit that what's going on between us is real?"

his eyes widen in what you can only assume to be recognition, "y/n, you know that i can't do that. it wouldn't be-"

"-don't you dare try and tell me that it wouldn't be right. i am tired of feeling like the dirty laundry you kick under your bed. i want to be with you, rafe, but i can't do that unless you finally admit to yourself that-"

"please, stop," his voice comes out softer, a pained expression on his face.

you always knew that rafe struggled when it came to ward, but you also always had a hunch that something bigger was going on than just a son wanting to impress his father. it's why rafe had been so set on you being a secret.

"you want me to stop? fine. i'll stop..." you pause for a moment. "…if you can look me in the eye and tell me that everything we've been through, every late-night confession, every secret, every intimate moment, meant nothing to you. because the only way that i am ever going to be able to let this go is if i know there's nothing left to hold onto."

where you expected rafe to look you in the eye and tell you to your face that your time together and the feelings he swore he didn't have for you was all nothing but a figment of your imagination, he doesn't. instead, he sighs loudly and runs his hand over his head as he clenches his eyes closed.

"just say it, rafe. tell me that none of this was real, and i'll leave you alone. for good."

"i fucking can't, okay!" he retorts, smothering his face with his hands.

a relieved sigh falls from you at the same time the locker room door bursts open and in walks one of the security guards. he stares at the two of you, taking in your appearance with a smug smirk on his lips before pressing a button on the walkie-talkie in his hand.

"you were right. i'm bringing them down now," he says into the small device before gesturing for the two of you to follow him out the door. "alright, you two. let's go."

"listen, i’m sure you know who my father is, so if this doesn't play out discreetly, then there's going to be a lot of issues," rafe steps towards the man, and he eyes the boy up and down before eventually nodding.

rather than leading you back downstairs, the man lets the two of you leave unaccompanied. rafe strolls out of the room and towards the stairs, but you quickly match his pace.

"rafe, we-"

"-not now. i'll call you later," he cuts you off, grabbing onto your arm and coming to a standstill in the middle of the staircase. you couldn't believe it. after what had just happened upstairs, he was going right back to how things were before by pretending you didn't exist when everyone else was around.

"you're unbelievable," you pull your arm free and head down the rest of the stairs alone and just when you think you've successfully returned to the party without anyone the wiser, you see sarah, jj and john b waiting just across the hall.

"hey, where did you run off to? kie and i were looking for you everywhere," sarah exclaims, oblivious to the fact that her brother was only ten steps behind you.

the panic coursing through you was like nothing you had ever felt before, but you had to play it cool. "yeah. i just needed to freshen up, and the line to the bathroom was too long. why don't we go and-"

"holy shit," jj says, his gaze focused just behind you, but you didn't have to turn around to know that it was rafe they were looking at. the worst part was that if jj could figure it out, then you had no doubt that the others had too.

"oh my, god. you found her!" you hear kie's voice before you see her, and then she and pope rush up the hall. "hey, what are you guys... looking at..." her voice fades as she too takes in the sight of you and rafe.

despite your promises that everything was going to be okay, you knew your greatest fear and nightmares had just become a reality.

#┆𝓿𝓮𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓼 𓈒 ˙ ⊹ ｡ ୨ৎ #┆𝓻𝓪𝓯𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓷 . . ᡣ𐭩 #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x fem!reader #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey x reader

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amordixon · 2 years ago

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𖥔 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𖥔

summary ; rafe begins to push you away when he realises the true nature of his feelings towards you

pairing ; rafe cameron x pogue!fem!reader

do not transfer, translate or share my work to any other sites.

the sun beats down on your skin as you walk along the jagged footpath, the only sounds being that of the marsh in the distance and your dial tone ringing out in your ear for what felt like the millionth time that afternoon. you knew you shouldn’t, but you didn’t want to stop calling until the other side of the line was finally answered, and had you not been standing out the front of the chateau, you probably would have.

instead, you lock the screen and shove it deep into your pocket before heading around the back of the house. the sound of your phone calls going unanswered now replaced by the sweet chime of your friends’ laughter, immediately taking the edge off from the rough morning you had already had.

“there she is!” jj hollers, making your presence known among the group — well, the boys anyway — he had his feet kicked up on an old crate as he nestled a beer bottle in his left hand. “we were beginning to think you’d ditched us for them kooks after all.” he laughs; a joke he liked to continuously tell.

“please, i would never do that to you, jj,” you wink, pushing open the outer wire door of the patio. “i see you three bounced back nicely after last night.”

you take in their appearances and besides the fact that they were wearing the same clothes, there was no physical evidence in their features of the fun they’d had the night before. even jj, who was usually downing the greasiest food he could find, was seemingly… fine.

“you know it, baby!” john b says, a smirk splayed across his lips.

“we have kie, and those weird green drinks she makes, to thank.” pope raises his brows your way.

even with that knowledge, it amazed you how fine they all seemed after the previous night’s bonfire, considering how much more they had to drink than you, while you were still dealing with a slight pounding in your head. it was just adding more fuel to the fire that pogues knew how to party better than anyone.

jj offers you a sip of his beer as you sink into the sofa beside him, letting your head fall to rest on his shoulders and he instinctively pats your thigh with comfort. with the morning you had, getting a little buzzed with your friends seemed like the perfect way to get your mind off of everything.

after what had happened last night, you didn’t expect things to take such a turn, and for the worst. not only had you spent the night with rafe — in more ways than one — but you had woken up alone in his bed without so much as a text from him. you knew staying with him was only going to stir something up between the two of you, but you never expected complete radio silence.

it was stupid, really, of you to think that things with rafe could ever change, and yet, you still held onto the hope that he just had somewhere to be. regardless, rafe never would’ve left without saying something or returning one of your calls or texts, and now you had a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that something deeper was going on.

“i’m telling you, it was a girl.” sarah exclaims as she and kie push through the front door, laughing and sharing the same dumbstruck expressions as they join the rest of you.

kie shakes her head, scrunching up her nose with disgust, “there’s no way. there’s absolutely no way anyone would - ew!”

piquing john b’s interest, he reaches for sarah and pulls her into his lap, “what’s ‘ew’?” he mimics.

the two girls look to one another with disturbance in their eyes. whatever it was, it seemed big enough to have the blonde questioning whether or not she should share it, which definitely grabbed your attention, and ultimately she decided to spill.

“so, last night after i got home… i went to see if wheezie was awake, and when i was leaving her room, we heard rafe… with a girl.”

your blood runs cold the second the words leave sarah’s mouth and you almost choke on jj’s drink — you knew it was you that she had heard.

the thought of your friends finding out about what you had really been up to all those nights you said you had to leave before curfew, or where you’d disappear for hours at a time, when you were really with rafe cameron suddenly floods your mind. your skin begins to crawl, an untraceable itch burning at your skin as an overwhelming shadow of dread looms above.

“what? like talking?” pope queries, not understanding what was so scandalising about it.

“no, dummy,” kie scoffs, shaking her head once again, this time with a lazy smile.

sarah screws her face up, snickering lightly, but clearly puzzled by her new discovery, “i’ve never seen rafe bring someone home before; topper and kelce barely ever come over. i mean, he’s literally always walking around with a stick up his ass saying he doesn’t need the distraction of being in a relationship.”

jj leans forward, his curiosity getting the better of him, and wiggling his brows, he asks, “do you know who she was? was she hot?”

you bite down on your lip, waiting for sarah to answer the question. each and every fleeting second feeling like a million as the anticipation builds inside your stomach. you felt like you were going to be sick as you hang onto every syllable like your life depended on it.

“i had to go do some last-minute shopping with rose and wheezie, and whoever she was, she was gone by the time we got back.”

an inaudible sigh of relief escapes you — especially when you recall how stressful it was having to sneak out of the cameron’s house without getting caught — but not just for your sake; for rafe too. you weren’t sure how ward would react knowing his son was also seeing a pogue; sarah and john b were enough, this would just push him over the edge.

not that rafe deserved you trying to look out for him after leaving you so abruptly this morning.

it was like he had fallen off the face of the earth… your earth.

“well, whoever she is, she clearly has no standards or any respect for herself if she’s getting caught up with the likes of him,” kie says, raising her brows in a way that lets you know she’s being honest.

you knew you shouldn’t have let her words get to you, being that she had a burning hated for the cameron boy, but the fact that she didn’t know it was you who sarah had inadvertently heard last night only meant that she was speaking the truth, and in all honesty, that made it hurt a million times more.

you were aware that maintaining a secret ‘non-relationship’ with rafe was never going to be easy. between the constant lying and excuses you had to give your friends, the sneaking around behind their backs, plus rafe’s unpredictable behaviour sometimes. it was already a lot to deal with. the last thing you needed was to have your friends talk about you, and degrade you, unknowingly or not.

“don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?” the words slip from the tip of your tongue, and everyone turns your way in unison. “i’m just saying, we shouldn’t be judging someone by who they sleep with, nor should we automatically assume that they have no respect for themselves based on that fact, and that fact alone.”

“or maybe she doesn’t know how horrible he is.” the brunette scoffs.

“or maybe it’s strictly physical?” jj adds, nodding his head with approval.

sighing, you continue, “i’m serious, guys. i get that rafe is literally the last person we should be ‘nice’ to but that doesn’t mean that this girl deserves to be outed just because of him.”

there’s a small silence among the six of you but you’re not entirely sure if that’s a good or bad thing. who knows what was going through their heads, or if you had accidentally said too much.

“since when did you care so much about rafe?” kie asks, an accusatory tone to her words.

“i don’t. i just-” you pause for a moment, trying to keep your nerves from completely overthrowing you. you could see that the hatred they held for the boy you cared so deeply for was simply too strong to bypass your reasoning as you take a look around. they had every right to feel the way they did, rafe had been awful to them, but unfortunately, they didn’t know him like you did. “-just… forget it”

with a defeated smile, you take another sip from jj’s drink as the conversation continues around you. you tried to drown it all out by focusing on the water in the marsh or the wind chimes that hung in the corner, but despite your best efforts, you kept being brought back to the topic at hand. if not by your friends, then by your own mind.

the rest of the afternoon remained that way: with your friends participating in conversations and indulging themselves with multiple ‘juice boxes’ while you slipped in and out of focus, making sure to add something here and there to not throw off any suspicion. you were sort of relieved when you had to go home, only to remember the unbearable night that awaited.

knowing now what you did, you knew your friends were going to be keeping an extra cautious eye on rafe tonight, which meant any plans or ideas you had about trying to talk to him had just flown out the window - you needed to get his attention somehow.

it’s not long before the sound of low music is filling your ears as you hesitantly make your way through the large and busy entrance of the island club. tonight’s event was already in full swing — you weren’t even entirely sure what it was for, probably raising money for something unimportant, like another golf course.

everywhere you looked you were greeted by kooks, all of whom barely looked your way, and if they did, it was for reasons they wouldn’t care to admit aloud. your family may fit in well at the club, but you on the other hand, did not, and they were careless about hiding that fact.

you knew what they thought, all the judgement they held for you. it was no different to the looks you’d get at the boneyard. though the hostility never came from the pogues, and the torons were oblivious to it all.

that aside, you’d still been forced to attend your fair share of these events, and while you assumed they would get easier, you were always left feeling uneasy about it all; having to pretend you were something you so very clearly weren’t just for the sake of appearances, and all while having to endure meaningless stories about the kooks with their multiple vacation houses and extravagant lifestyles.

it was truly a nightmare.

all you wanted was to find your friends, some alcohol, and a quiet place to sit, or alternatively; rafe.

nothing quite settled your nervous heart at these events like rafe’s reassuring gaze from across the room. he knew you hated it — the fake kindness, the judgement, having to get dressed up just to be perceived by people that didn’t, and would never, truly know you — though you weren’t entirely sure how he would react to seeing you right now.

“excuse me miss, we seem to have misplaced our friend, you haven’t seen her have you?” a familiar voice catches you off guard and when you turn, both kie and pope are standing there grinning from ear to ear.

you pull the two of them into a hug as relief washes over you, “oh, thank god. i was worried i’d actually have to talk to these people.” you say just as an older couple passes by, their noses upturned at your remark.

“i don’t know, i think you’d manage dressed like that,” kie reaches to poke you in the stomach but you playfully slap her hand away, and the three of you fall into a small peal of comforting laughter.

while kie’s comments had upset you earlier that day, you were just glad to not be alone for the time being. even if it meant enduring whatever other comments you had coming your way.

“yeah. it seems you’ve made quite the impression,” pope says and you follow his eyes to a group of guys staring your way from the corner of the room.

you knew your dress was a little out there and while the comments were flattering — while also making you slightly uncomfortable by the way you were being looked upon — a bittersweet taste filled your mouth because, truthfully, there were only one person’s eyes you wanted to be on you.

“while i object to the fact that they’re ogling at you like a piece of meat…” kie looks their way, causing them to look away, and then back at you. “i do have to admit… you look hot.”

you knew it was just the dress, and not you, per say, that was giving you so much attention. it was backless and draped down to your ankles, flourishing at the bottom as it split down the thigh. the only thing keeping it in place were the two thin spaghetti straps that crisscrossed over your shoulders, letting the material dip just above the small of your back. it was a deep blue satin material; a colour rafe had once complimented you in.

you liked the dress, but you liked the idea of it ending up on rafe's bedroom floor more.

and yet, now when you thought about the night that could’ve been, you were suddenly feeling very naked and aware of the eyes that were on you. staring at you in ways that only rafe ever had.

kie seems to notice the quick change in your demeanour when you wrap your arms around yourself, and begins pushing pope towards the exit, “come on, let's go find sarah before she crosses back over to the dark side.”

as the three of you begin to approach the doors that lead out to the patio, the sound of ward cameron’s voice could be heard lingering in from outside. you, however, pay him no mind. the last thing you wanted was to listen to the man who was the sole reason for you having to hide your ‘non-relationship’ with rafe — if you could even call it that now.

with one foot out the door, you stop when kie turns back to make a snarky comment; one that falls on deaf ears when a loud burst of laughter consumes your attention. annoyed, you instinctively look up at the group of guys that had planted themselves just outside the door, taking in a few familiar faces when you see topper and kelce are there, and standing between them is the most familiar of all. the one you had been longing to see.

there he was; looking as handsome as ever in a suit he had personally picked out, no doubt. the deep blue was almost an exact match to the dress you were wearing, reflecting against the sapphire in his eyes a little too perfectly, and in that moment, it was as if time stood still as your gaze fell upon each other.

a surge of panic courses through you and your mind flurries with the realisation of just how badly you wanted whatever was going on with him to stop so that you could finally wrap yourself up in his arms again. you hadn’t realised it until then just how attached you had grown to that feeling, but mostly, you hadn’t realised just how scared you were of even the thought of losing him.

especially when he wasn’t ever really yours to begin with.

the breath in your throat hitches as his eyes trail your body, taking in the dress you so clearly wore for him, and his eyes soften for a moment before his jaw tightens and he looks away. he didn’t dare give you another second of his time as he scopes his surroundings, cradling the glass in his hand as he pretends he was actually interested in any of this bullshit — in anything, as long as it wasn’t you.

“hey, you coming?” pope’s voice pulls you back to reality after noticing you had stopped following behind them. you nod, giving him some excuse about your shoe getting caught under your dress, and he offers you his arm as you pretend to fix the non-existing problem before walking away.

kie is the first to spot sarah in the middle of the crowded space, stuck in a conversation with an older lady as her father's voice practically consumes anyone in a 10’ft radius, and the three of you wave her over. dismissing the woman, she sneaks away from the crowd, but not before checking her surroundings and making sure that her father wasn’t looking her way.

“oh, my god,” she groans, shaking her head as she gives you a hug. “it’s been an hour and i have spoken to like thirty different people - you guys look stunning, by the way.”

“as do you,” kie tilts her head toward the blonde, grabbing her by the hands and pulling her towards a seat off to the side and a little ways away from the main area of the club. “so, how’s the whole ‘mystery girl’ thing coming along?”

sighing, sarah frumps herself further down into the wooden seat, watching as the rest of the party unfolded before you all, “it’s pretty much a bust. he hasn’t spoken to anyone expect topper, kelce, and a few of the others guys, and the girls… he just brushes them all off.”

confused, your mind flitters with a million thoughts, all racing around your mind trying to get to the same destination. it was clear they were talking about rafe; did they know? no. they couldn’t. how could they know?

“wait, what are you guys talking about?” you ask, but your question, and the panic in your voice is cut by the sound of jj and john b calling out to the four of you from behind, making a spectacle of themselves as they sneak through the back fields of the club.

your friends all laugh as the two boys join you, showing off the suits they had no doubt stolen from jj’s cousin, or something, but even among the commotion, kie and sarah’s words kept ringing around in your head; your friends were actively trying to seek you out.

how could you have been so careless?

you were more than aware that rafe lived in the same house as one of your friends, whether she found out directly or through wheezie, you knew you needed to be more than careful. now, you were on the brink of your friends finding out that you’re the one that’s been sleeping with the one guy they hated the most and there was nothing you could do about it.

you needed to stop seeing rafe, at least until things cooled down, but you needed to let him know what was going on. you needed to tell him your friends were aware of him sleeping with someone and you needed to take extra precaution. that’s if he even wanted to keep seeing you because with the way he was acting, you weren’t so sure.

“well, well, well, look at you,” jj smirks in your direction, grabbing a hold of your hand and making you do a twirl, “looking all kook-like. now, why don’t you get all dressed up like this for us, huh?”

you give the blond a playful shove, trying to brush off the comment, but the guilt that had been gnawing at you all day decides to make a reappearance. it’s sharp claws crawling up your chest and into your throat, making it all the harder to breathe. you try to push it aside, shove it back down and not let it get to you, but seeing your friends and knowing they would disown you if they knew the truth was more than enough to have you on edge.

everything you were bearing was beginning to take it’s toll; knowing your friends were suspicious and that they would shun you from ever talking to them again if they found out and now seeing how fine rafe seemed after last night, as if it had never happened.

perhaps this was all some sort of premeditated idea and he was just looking for one last rendezvous before ending things? you didn’t want to admit it, but you wouldn’t put it past him either.

“i’ll - uh - i’ll be back. i just need to use the bathroom,” you gesture back to the club, it’s bright light illuminating it’s surroundings but faded where it came to you and your friends. you don’t give any of them time to answer before you’re scampering off, not wanting kie or sarah to offer to come along.

inside, you could see people mingling and enjoying their night — self-indulgent vultures, or not — but where rafe and the others stood only moments ago was now empty. no sign of the boy in blue anywhere.

weaving your way through the gathered crowd, you eventually make it back inside and take note of how less busy it was. the groups mingling in the hall had dispersed leaving it clear now as they all trickled outside or into the surrounding rooms.

“aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” topper comes into view, practically stopping you in your tracks before leaning back to take in your dress.

“oh, hey topper,” your words come out a little shaken, mostly just from being caught off guard.

“y’know, for someone who denies themself of all this, you sure know how to look the part.” he waves his arms out, and your eyes instinctively follow when you catch sight of rafe in the room across from you.

though, this time he wasn’t alone. standing next to him was a short blonde in a bright pink dress, her full attention on him as she spoke, but he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. his eyes flitting around the room until he spots you too, and you quickly return back to topper.

you let out a small fake laugh and shake your head. you weren’t sure what to say to his comment.

“no. seriously. you look - you look great, though,” he smiles, and for a second you could’ve sworn there was a flirtatious hint in his tone.

“thanks, top,” you extend your arm and give him a friendly nudge at the same time you see rafe dismiss the girl he was talking to and begin to walk your way.

your heart starts to thud so loudly in your chest that you were sure it was visible to the naked eye. you could hear it thrumming in your ears as your stomach tries to crawl up your throat with nerves. but when you expect him to stop and maybe say something, even just to topper, he keeps walking.

he strides right past you and topper, and heads to the staircase just behind you both, but as he turns to ascend them, bypassing the ribbon gate that was clearly there to keep everyone downstairs, he looks right at you. his eyes piercing blue as he all but stares into your soul.

this was your chance.

you needed to get him alone and he so much as provided you with the perfect opportunity to do so. this was your chance to tell rafe about your friends, but to also confront and demand he tells you what was going on with him.

“y/n?” topper says your name, pulling you back to the conversation at hand.

you blink, “sorry, what did you say?”

“no, it’s okay,” he tries to laugh off the fact that you had vagued out on him. “i was just asking if you wanted to-”

“i’m really sorry,” you cut him off. “hold that thought. i have to quickly use the bathroom, but i’ll be right back.” you get your words out hastily, barely giving him a moment to comprehend before you were once again rushing off.

topper stands there stunned as you too bypass the ribbon gate, rapidly scanning your surroundings to make sure no one was looking. the last thing you wanted was to get caught with rafe. it was risky, extremely risky, but you were desperate for answers and it seemed that this was the only way you were going to get them.

softening your footsteps, you check all of the rooms before reaching the men’s change room. it was a daring move but again, you were desperate. taking in a deep breath, you slowly push the door open as the faint smell of lingering deodorant and cologne fills your senses.

lockers lined either side of the room, apart from where the door to the showers was, and in the middle was a line of bench seats, decorated with a large plant in the middle. at the very end was a small window nook with a chair, and leaning against the window stood rafe.

his back was to you, watching the crowd below, as he throws back the rest of his drink and lets out a heavy sigh. his shoulders rise and fall with the breath, making your own feel faint in comparison. you swallow the ball that had formed in your throat and open your mouth to speak, only to have him beat you to it.

“you shouldn’t be here.”

#┆𝓿𝓮𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓼 𓈒 ˙ ⊹ ｡ ୨ৎ #┆𝓻𝓪𝓯𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓷 . . ᡣ𐭩 #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x fem!reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron series

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amordixon · 1 year ago

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rafe becomes a whiny baby whenever you're away, though he'd never admit it. it doesn't matter if it's only for a few hours or a few days; baby boy is missing you. he misses the way you smell and how your skin is so soft against his. he misses your voice and just listening to you talk. he misses the way you're his only voice of reasoning, constantly guiding him to be a better person - how you make him a better person - and the second you're back, he refuses to let you go ᡣ𐭩

#┆𝓿𝓮𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓼 𓈒 ˙ ⊹ ｡ ୨ৎ #┆𝓻𝓪𝓯𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓷 . . ᡣ𐭩 #rafe cameron concept #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron x fem!reader

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amordixon · 2 years ago

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𖥔 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𖥔

summary ; rafe begins to push you away when he realises the true nature of his feelings towards you

pairing ; rafe cameron x kook turned pogue!fem!reader

do not transfer, translate or share my work to any other sites.

summer nights in the outer banks always felt like a mist of nostalgia washing over you as you ventured to the boneyard. the humidity was high, and the stars were bright. speckling across the night sky like a blanket of magic, each holding a promise to return the next day like they had every other.

tonight’s party had passed by in a flurry, whisking you away with your friends for a night of unconventional fun. just the way you liked it.

the boys were up to mischief, as per usual, as they took part in numerous bets and dares to see who was the ‘best pogue’ while sarah dragged you and kie to the bonfire for a dance. and despite the fact that you had spent most of the night in high spirits, you couldn’t help the sudden plunge of morale as you watched john b sneak up behind sarah and wrap his arms around her.

the two of them holding each other close and swaying to the music as he whispered sweet nothings in her ear. it made your heart heavy knowing how badly you both craved and desired the love that they so openly shared with the world.

“hey, i have a question..." jj declares after the six of you had found somewhere quiet to hunker down away from the general vicinity of the party, and with a joint in his hand, he moves to lay his head in your lap as he gazes up at the night sky.

“what now?” kie rolls her eyes, waiting to hear what high-induced thoughts the blond had conjured up

“if oranges are called… oranges, why aren't lemons called… yellows?" silence fell over you all as you tried to hold back your laughter,swapping confused looks, only to eventually give in.

“okay. i think you've had enough of that for tonight,” pope grabs the joint from jj’s hand, despite his protests, and takes a puff for himself before passing it to john b.

“agreed. i think i’m getting a contact high just from being near you,” you laugh softly.

he lets out a small gasp, clutching at his chest as though he were wounded, “you should be grateful.”

“yeah, okay, j,” you shake your head, laughing, and ruffle his hair before turning to the others to ask, “hey, does anyone have the time?”

pope’s the first to check his watch, “almost midnight.”

“shit…” you groan quietly and throw your head to the side, sinking into sarah’s shoulder for a moment, “i’ve gotta go. are we still meeting before the dinner tomorrow?”

“yeah, of course.” sarah nods, knowing that the question was intended for her and kie.

picking yourself up and dusting the sand off your shorts, you swing your bag over your shoulder and wave goodbye to your friends. they blow you kisses as you start to walk away, shouting out a jumbled mess of their own goodbyes, but nothing was more distinct than jj's "see ya tomorrow, bubba!"

making your way through the remainder of the party, a group of kooks pass you by, each of them narrowing their eyes and one even blatantly whispering about you. your family’s history wasn’t uncommon knowledge on the island, and so, unlike the pogues, a lot of the kooks didn’t want to be seen hanging out with a ‘half-breed’, as they would sometimes call you.

like kie, your parents came from two different worlds, but unfortunately for them, they didn’t have quite the happy ending that the carrera’s did. so now you live with your mom and her new husband with all the other figure eight trust fund babies, but you weren’t really one of them — you never would be.

“y/n!” a voice calls your name, and you turn just in time to see topper wrap his arm around your shoulders. the strong scent of alcohol consuming your senses, and you sway off-balance from the impact of his weight.

“hey, top,” you pat his chest affably.

“hey, we’re friends, right?” he smiles drunkenly this time, and a slight hum leaves his lips.

you knew the question was of good nature, and you didn’t dislike topper, but he wasn’t exactly your favourite person either. so, not wanting to hurt his feelings while he clearly wasn’t all there, you decide to indulge him a little, “of course we are, buddy.”

“it’s just… i know you hang out with the pogues, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends? i’ve always been nice to you, and i know kelce thinks you’re cool, but rafe, he’s a tough one. he really hates pogues, and you’re like choosing to be-”

“topper, let’s go, man!” kelce shouts as he makes his way over to you, and a few steps behind him staggered along rafe cameron, “some of us are going back to mine.”

seemingly frustrated, kelce tries to get his friend to leave while rafe appears far more interested in the cup between his lips. when he does eventually look up at topper, his eyes fall on you under his friend’s arm for a moment before he runs a hand across his forehead and looks away as though he hadn’t paid you any attention at all.

“maybe you should get him a leash?” the suggestion falls from your lips, and from behind the cup in his hand, you swore you saw rafe smirk. though, it’s gone faster than it had appeared.

kelce lets out a soft chuckle, “don’t tempt me.”

“hey, y/n, why don’t you come with us?” topper turns to you with more enthusiasm than you could handle on a good day. like a golden retriever that was just given his favourite ball.

“as tempting as that sounds... i will have to pass.” removing his arm, you push him towards kelce, who reluctantly catches him.

“why not? it’ll be fun, and kelce and rafe will be there!”

“actually, i’ve, uh, i’ve got somewhere to be,” rafe discloses, taking the last sip of his drink before throwing the empty cup into the trash pile and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “so, i’m going to have to skip on tonight too.”

not wanting to stick around for the conversation about to be had, which would mostly consist of topper whining for rafe to go with them, you take your leave from the trio, “alright. well, i’m going to go. you boys have fun.” and as you pass through them, your arm accidentally brushes against rafe.

you don't think much of it, but the small graze seemed to have attracted his attention, because when you look back, his eyes are already watching you walk away.

the air was no longer sticky as you walked towards the main road. the temperature had dropped enough to cause an array of bumps on your arms and you cursed yourself for not bringing a jacket. the coolness nipped at your skin, and you helplessly wrapped your arms around yourself to gather as much warmth as possible.

the street was quiet, other than the distant sound of music from the boneyard and the occasional bark from a neighbourhood dog. the sky was dark with nothing but the stars helping guide you home, which only made it more noticeable when a set of headlights turned into the street. the sound of an engine began to approach you, slowing to meet your side before eventually coming to a stop.

“y'know, it’s at least an hour walk back to figure eight, right?” the driver points out, and an undeniable smirk tugs at the corner of your lips before you turn to see rafe leaning his head out the open window.

“really?” you retort, cocking your head to the side. “... what took you so long then?”

rafe licks his lips to try and downplay the smile on his face as you near the car, his eyes trailing up and down your body, "well, you know how it is?"

"topper wouldn't shut up," you say in unison, scrunching up your face as you nod.

"i guess that means i'll just have to make it up to you," he looks you up and down once more, his eyes lingering on the skin surrounding your chest and noting how the smallest cherubs of your nipples were poking through your bikini top.

smiling coyly, you sink towards him, pushing a hand to run across the stubbled hair on his head, and press a chaste kiss to his lips, "you better." your words muffle against him.

he hums with approval, a smug look on his face as you pull his bottom lip between yours, giving it a small tug, "you better hurry up and get in then."

you scrunch your nose at him before running around the other side of the car, and it doesn't take long at all for the two of you to reunite with the comforts of rafe's bedroom. the familiar scent of his vanilla lotion, cologne, and a hint of tobacco filling your senses the second he opens the door, and what was once a relevantly clean floor was now being littered with discarded clothing.

his fingers were gentle as they danced across your skin, loosening the knot in the back of your bikini with ease, before hoisting you up around his waist and leading you to his bed where he places you down atop his cotton sheets. his fingers make haste to remove the last pieces of your clothing as he peppers sweet kisses along your jawline, down to your neck.

rafe's kisses were reverent, his touch worshipping, as he slowly revealed every last piece of you. like a precious gift being unwrapped for all to see, but only rafe got the pleasure of doing so.

his breath is hot as he traipses his kisses further down your chest, and his lips soft as he presses them perfectly around the nubs of your breasts. flicking his tongue over the sensitive skin and erupting a whirlwind of rampant butterflies in your stomach.

"god, look at you," he mumbles, a hand now rolling down your waist, your thigh, stopping just shy of where you needed him the most. you needed to feel him, needed him to touch you, and he knew it. he could tell by the way your hips were ever so slightly bucking up to try and reach his hand. "so needy, baby."

smirking, he slowly glides his fingers over your clit and then begins working small torturous circles over it. your chest starts to rise and fall, the breathe being pulled from your lungs, and rafe pushes the side of his other hand into your mouth to help muffle your moans.

it's then that he presses two fingers inside you, letting his thumb continue to work you as he slowly pumps them in and out. your hips jut up, the pleasure working it's way through you until you couldn't bare it much longer. then it stops.

"rafe..." you whine, panting.

"what? you really think i'm going to waste the chance to have you cum around me?" he meets your face, bringing his fingers to his lips and licking your juices off of them, "not when you taste this sweet."

then, without warning, he grabs you by the waist and pulls you into his lap. letting nothing else stand between you both, he takes your mouth in a heated kiss. his tongue teasing you skilfully until you're left breathless. you could taste yourself on his tongue, and it only made you want him more.

with one hand gripping at your thigh, he uses the other to give himself a few pumps before swiping along your slit to gather your wetness. you jolt as the tip of his cock touches your clit, which he can't help but snicker at, and he slowly starts to push himself in.

rafe was big, there was no denying that, and you would have to bury your head in his shoulder from time to time to stop yourself from crying out as you sink down on him. you could feel him everywhere, and while you didn't have anything to compare it to, you had never felt so full in your life than when rafe was inside you.

it takes a moment to adjust but once he starts moving, all the pressure that had built up quickly turns into pleasure. you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him as close to you as you possibly could, your chests moving together as one as he maintains his rhythm. you try to kiss him, but he feels too good inside that all you can do is let out breathy moans.

his thumb moves down to work your clit once more, adding to the pleasure tightening and compressing within your stomach. waves of ecstasy taking over your body as you succumb to your high while rafe tries his best not to cum in you.

you press your head against him as your orgasm rolls through your body, your walls clenching around him and daring to push him over the edge, "fuck, i love watching you cum."

you notice the way his pupils had dilated as he stares up at you now, and you press your lips to his as you slowly lift yourself off of him, immediately feeling empty inside.

"told you i'd make it up to you," he stretches his neck as he leans back to rest on his elbows, closing his eyes long enough for you to work your way down to his waist and take him in your mouth.

he was still so hard, and creamy from being inside you, that the second your lips came in contact, his head lulled back with a sigh. he was already so close to the edge that it didn't take long for him to blow his load in your mouth. and you didn’t waste a drop.

after recollecting yourself, rafe throws you one of his t-shirts to put on and you make yourself comfortable against the headboard of his bed. he, however, instinctively moves to rest his head in your lap, and your fingers idly run circles on his head.

whenever you were with rafe, it felt like all of your problems simply washed away. he made you feel things you never had before. he made you feel alive. and while you loved spending as much time with him as possible, there was always a bittersweet feeling gnawing at you, reminding you that none of this was real, because your time together always had to come to an end.

it was always easier to just rip off the band aid rather than to let it fester until it consumed your every thought.

"you okay?" rafe asks, taking notice of how quiet and spacey you were being. you nod, not wanting to turn this into anything. "you can tell me," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand this time.

it was the small gestures like that that made it all the more difficult to keep sneaking around with him. you knew you could never tell him how you were really feeling but the longer you had to lie to your friends or hide away like he was ashamed to be seen with you, the more you wondered if this was how things would always be with him.

he had told you from the start that he had too much going on to be able to commit to anything or make promises he knew he couldn't keep, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. and no matter how many times he tried to reassure you that this wasn't just sex for him, he would always follow up with the fact that he couldn't let himself get carried away. not when ward was watching his every move.

“it’s fine, really,” leaning down, you press another kiss to his lips and then to his nose, “i promise.”

reluctant to believe you, he eventually nods before moving into your touch and nuzzling his face into yours as he kisses you once more. his hands move to guide you as your breath becomes ragged, and just as you’re about to get lost in him once more, you pull away, knowing that if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself.

between breaths, you whisper, “it’s late. i should get going.”

rafe throws his head back into his pillow, heaving a sigh, and where you expected him to agree or even help you gather your clothes from where you had left them all over his floor, he instead stops you. his eyes flutter for a second, and his jaw tenses the way it did whenever he was fighting the thoughts in his head, trying to flush them out, and with a soft voice, he says, “… stay.”

an inaudible gasp leaves you as you contemplate whether or not you had heard him correctly and when you don’t answer, he pulls you back to the bed, "stay... please."

rafe had never asked you to stay before or vis versa, the night always ended with one of you sneaking home, and while you were ecstatic over the revelations, you were also sceptical as to what had changed his mind all of a sudden. he doesn't say anything else, just pulls you back between the sheets and wraps his arm firmly around your waist.

you hadn't given him an answer, but you knew you weren't going to say 'no', who knew if he would ever ask you to stay again. instead, you let yourself melt into his warmth where you remained until the sun began to rise.

#┆𝓿𝓮𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓼 𓈒 ˙ ⊹ ｡ ୨ৎ #┆𝓻𝓪𝓯𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓷 . . ᡣ𐭩 #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x fem!reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron smut #┆𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝓯𝔀 . . .ᐟ

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amordixon · 1 year ago

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𖥔 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𖥔

summary ; rafe begins to push you away when he realises the true nature of his feelings towards you.

pairing ; rafe cameron x pogue!fem!reader

do not transfer, translate or share my work to any other sites.

living in the outer banks came with its ups and downs, but nothing was ever quite as consistent as the love and adoration that you and the pogue's shared for one another. you thought the world of your friends, and they had become such a viable part of your life that the thought of ever losing them made your soul ache.

so, having to stand there before them as they took in the sight of you and rafe, knowing exactly what was running through their heads and what they thought about the entire thing, you were fearful as to what this new revelation might mean, and whether or not your friends would remain your friends now that they knew it was you this entire time.

kie is the first to break the silence, raising her hands as her lips curl in contempt, she turns away, “I think I’m going to be sick.”

the rest of your friends stare wide-eyed with a mixture of bewilderment and disgust across their faces, and you slink back, wrapping your arms around yourself as though it were a shield. though you knew nothing would save you from the judgment radiating from your friends as they narrowed their gaze on you.

behind you, rafe toys with the cuff of his sleeve, the anxiety and worry written all over his face matching yours as his eyes fall on you before quickly pulling away. you couldn't help but wonder what it was he was worried about. you? himself? or the fact that you had been caught and it was only a matter of time before others found out too?

john b steps towards you with a sympathetic half-smile, "what's going on?"

if there was anyone that was going to understand, it would be john b. after all, he had been the one to fall for sarah.

you open your mouth in an attempt to explain before becoming very aware of the dryness in your throat, but you push the words out regardless, "listen, i know how this looks-"

"isn't it obvious?" jj exclaims, cutting you off. he lifts his shoulders into a lazy shrug and points at you, "it was her. she was the one sarah heard last night. right?"

the breath in your throat hitches as he puts you on the spot, and with all eyes pinned on you, an overwhelming waves of fear crashes down over you. gnawing at you and clawing its way up until you could feel it wanting to be expelled from your stomach.

he only gives you a couple of seconds before he paces towards kie, his arms stretching behind his head out of frustration, and your heart falls heavy. you knew jj would take it the worst.

"is that true?" pope steps forward, though, unlike the others, he doesn't approach you with the same attitude. instead, he's calm, wanting to get to the bottom of the situation and resolve it rather than point fingers.

"it makes so much sense now," kie heaves an unbelieving sigh. "he's the reason you always had to leave early, right? and why you were always disappearing?"

"of course it was," jj matches her tone. "she's been sleeping with this asshole behind our backs, and god knows for how long."

"you have no idea what you're talking about," rafe says, his jaw tightening as he inches himself between you and your friends, almost protectively. "though you have a lot to say for someone that shouldn't even be here."

it's then you realise rafe was right. jj wasn't supposed to be there, and neither was john b, and had they not been then none of this would've happened.

"now, if you excuse me. i have a dinner i need to get back to," rafe straightens his tie before moving to head back down the hall, but he only gets so far before jj's hand presses firmly against his chest and stops him short.

you watch as he lifts his head a little to try and meet rafe's height, and after leering in, he says, "i'd have half a mind to let you walk away right now."

a smirk tugs at the taller boys lips, unimpressed by the threat. something in his expression changes, and a steely determination glimmers in his eyes. he exhales loudly before lowering his head, "oh, i'd love to see you stop me."

your heart feels like it's about to jump out of your throat when the security guard from before makes his presence known from the top of the staircase, "is there a problem here, fellas?" in his hand, he firmly grips his walkie-talkie as he slowly descends the staircase, his eyes fully trained on jj.

"no, sir," jj mockingly salutes the man before straightening rafe's suit and pulling away, "we're all good here."

the guard takes one more look at the rest of you before heading back to the main room, and as your friends turn back to you, you're overcome with the sudden urge to get out of there before they start interrogating you again. you needed to put distance between you and your friends, and fast.

your legs carry you as fast as they can out the front doors of the club, the humid air teasing the hairs on the back of your neck as it washes over your skin, wrapping you in a comforting hug.

it's not long before the others are following after you, calling your name as you reach the edge of the beach just behind the club. you knew you shouldn't have walked away, but you couldn't handle the way they were looking at you.

their eyes were burning into you with judgement and what you could only assume to be disgust as you stood beneath their gaze. making you feel so small that you were sure to disappear.

you never meant for them to find out this way. you never meant for them to find out at all, but perhaps this was for the better. now, you didn't have to tell them yourself or constantly worry about them finding out. though, what did this mean for you and rafe?

taking a deep breath, your shoulders shake, and your heartbeat pounds in your ears as you come face to face with your friends once more. all you wanted was for them to at least try and understand, but with their accusations constantly being thrown at you, you could feel yourself growing heavier and heavier.

"what are you doing?" sarah asks as she climbs down the small rocky drop with john b's help.

"i... i needed some air," you sigh, shakily.

an intense silence then falls over you as your friends stare, the same aggrieved expressions on their faces as they gathered before you.

"before anyone says anything, i just... i need you guys to know that i never meant for this to happen. it just did." you shrug, a desperate attempt in hoping they would take your feelings into consideration before putting you on blast.

sarah and john b look to one another before she says, "then why didn't you just come to us?"

despite knowing that what you had been doing was considered the ultimate betrayal against the pogues, an inaudible gasp leaves your lips at the audacity of her question.

"how could i?" your throat tightens with emotion. "you were all saying such horrible things. i mean, was i supposed to announce it before or after kie went on about me having no respect for myself?"

kie scoffs, shaking her head and points an accusing hand in your direction, "we wouldn't have said those things if we knew that it was you!"

"okay, yeah, you're right. you probably wouldn't have..." gritting your teeth, you fight back the tears that were pricking at your eyes, as a mixture of anger and hurt boils up inside, "but that doesn't mean you wouldn't have still been thinking them, or maybe even saying them behind my back."

"c'mon, y/n. you know that that's not true," john b mutters from behind jj, though his eyes glimmered with guilt because both he and you knew that for the most part, it probably was.

kie opens her mouth once again, but pope steps in to stop the situation from escalating further than it already had. though the damage had already been done, and the chances of you ever bouncing back from this were slim. you knew that there was nothing you could do or say that was going to stop them from seeing you a little differently, you just needed them to know that for you, nothing had changed and they were still a main priority to you.

"why don't we take a break? just leave it for tonight and talk about it tomorrow?" pope suggests, trying to push jj towards kie and john b to calm him down.

"good idea. why don't you listen to your pal here, stop putting your noses where they don't belong and head on home?" rafe says, taking you all by surprise as he approaches the group once again, and his snide tone causes your friends to stiffen and narrow their eyes.

sarah steps towards her brother, anger and confusion littered across her features, "how did this even happen?"

"it's none of your business," he scoffs, a smug smile on his lips as he stares down his little sister.

"i just - i don't get it. i don't get why you're hooking up with a kook, and not just any kook, but rafe fucking cameron!" jj balls his hands into fists. "does he have something over you? is he... is he forcing you? because they're the only things i can come up with as to why you would do this..."

"i'd watch my mouth if i were you, maybank," rafe steps towards him once more.

"why should i? i wouldn’t put it past you." he snarks.

"because you have no idea what you're talking about."

"oh, i think i know exactly what i'm talking about," jj nods as his upper lip pulls into a snarl. "i bet you enjoy taking advantage of women, right? messing with their heads and making them feel special just for your own pleasure." he digs a finger into rafe's shoulder.

"jj, stop it!" you try to push between them only to have jj swat you away and you stumble back into the sand.

by the time you regain your footing, rafe is shoving jj back by his shoulders, "i told you to watch your mouth. i meant it."

jj doesn't respond but rather moves to plough rafe over and the two end up tumbling around in the sand. hands gripping at one another's shirts as they both try to land blows into the other's face. kie and pope almost get knocked over in the process and even then the only one trying to get them to stop, besides you, is sarah.

the two of you scream at them but your pleads fall on deaf ears as jj finally manages to pin rafe down, evading his swinging arms as he holds fists of his shirt so tightly that his knuckles turn white.

"just fucking stay away from her," jj bellows, his protecting side coming into play as he shoves him further into the sand.

rafe doesn't fight back, instead, he laughs and licks the blood that had pooled on his bottom lip menacingly, before looking up at the blond, "you really think that this was all me? that she doesn't want this too?"

"shut tht hell up!" jj yells, his flash of vulnerability giving rafe the upper hand and he's quick to kick him off before pinning him down.

"rafe, let go of him!" you cry, the shrillness in your tone taking him by surprise and when he sees the way your brow had etched together with fear and the desperation in your eyes, the determination in his dissipates.

he looks down at the boy within his grasp, knowing fairly well that he didn't want to let go. he wanted to show jj what happens to people that pry in other people's business. that he should've kept his mouth shut instead of insinuating that what was going on between you and him was sinister. that he would never ever hurt you or force you to do something you didn't want to.

but alas, you had somehow wiggled your way into his heart and he didn't want to be the monster anymore. he wanted to be someone you could be proud of. someone you wouldn't be ashamed of and have to constantly apologise for.

so, with that in mind, he releases his grip on the boy and shuffles away in the sand.

john b and pope are quick to help their friend, offering him their hands as they pull him up and make sure that he's okay. other than a cut on his cheek and a slight red mark under his eye, he seemed to be okay, but that doesn't stop you from wanting to check for yourself.

"jj..." you reach for him, your hand barely grazing his shoulder before he shrugs it off.

"don't." he mutters, his eyes glazing over slightly. kie is at his side before you could even say a word, disappointment in their eyes as she lifts his arm around her shoulder and the two of them start to stagger away.

a ball forms in your throat and you gulp it down along with the rush of fear that had ignited within you. was this it? you wondered. was this the moment your friends finally decided they were done with you?

"guys... please..." you cry, not wanting things to be left the way they were.

sarah and john b wait a moment, staring with uncertainty. you thought that if anything, they would be the ones to understand considering they went through the exact same thing when they got together. the only difference was that while sarah didn't ridicule your friends daily, she had only hurt kie.

"maybe just give us some space to wrap our heads around it all?" the blonde suggests, the ghost of an apologetic smile tugging at the corner of her lips before she and john b follow behind jj and kie.

pope is the last to leave, giving the same excuse that he had before about needing to get back to his dad and with tears now blurring your vision, you turn back to rafe, who all but tightens his jaw as he takes in your devastating appearance.

the only thing worse than him hurting you was your friends hurting you... because of him, and he knew it. despite loathing the pogues and thinking the lowest of them he knew that they were your friends — your family — and he didn't want to stand in the middle of that.

he had been trying to tell you from the start that being with him wasn't good for you. that you deserved better, and that's exactly what he was going to give you. so, instead of consoling you, he picks himself up and after one last painful look your way, he too walks away.

choking on a sob, you feel as though an unseen knife had plunged itself into your heart, as you watch your friends, and the boy you loved, disappear into the night. leaving you behind with nothing but the consequences of you own decisions.

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