#⌈ ♞ ⌉ queue. || ˟ –––– I think we were cursed from the start.

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Paladin Roi isn't canon but he is hot ok

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tags 1/?

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⸻ ♞ He understood. The two of them had both been put into situations where their time and energy must be devoted to something else. To people they did not even know. While for Aymeric, it was the people of his city and nation, Roi was tasked with protecting the star itself. He would not lie and say that at times, he resented it. He loathed the role that he had been given. But it was not without rewards. There were so many people in this world that mattered to him. People he would gladly lay down his life to protect.

In truth, Roi preferred his life over the burdens thrust upon Aymeric. He was not good with people the way the other was. He was often more of a sword than a man. And being stuck in one place like the other was would drive him mad.

"Ah. I understand." He did. While Roi had his fair share of scars, he couldn't pretend to know the pain and fear his friend had felt in his life. There was no contest between suffering. Roi had seen people break under the weight of half of what Aymeric carried on his shoulders. And yet, the man remained kind and gentle. And for that, Roi could respect him more than the Elezen knew.

"Holiday...?" He thought about it for a moment. Where would he go> Well, for someone that traveled so much it was more likely that he would stay somewhere that felt like home. "Most likely here... I would come back and check up on the Fortemps and you. Oh, or perhaps I would return to Kugane and try more of the food there. I didn't have time to experience as much as I would have liked to." He looked back up the other with a small smile.

"What of you?"

Comforting- yes, he could definitely describe the warmth and the taste that came from the tea as comforting; the way the taste lingered upon his tongue, warmed his chest throughout when swallowed. Truly, he'd not had the pleasure of trying a tea like it before and thus he sank further into cushions and smiled, eyes closed.

"The cold gets to us all, at points." Aymeric uttered, knowing that the chill of the wind had been gnawing his old war wounds far more than usual, the aches and pains growing worse by the week.

"Me-?" A brow rose, eyes opening once more; "Honestly? Not much- not between all of the goings on: I'm sure you can sympathise with that." Business, the need for ones attention, the constant need to act- - - it nigh drowned him; but never did Aymeric complain. "The days feel as if they grow longer- and the nights ever shorter in turn--" A half-heartbeat of a pause; "--And nightmares no less fierce."

But no - Aymeric would not allow their evening to go down the path they were lingering upon; not wanting to dip into a fierce downer. No - -no - - Instead, he offers up a small smile and a shake of his head;

"Let us hope the near future allows us both a nice holiday, yes? Where would you go-?"

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can roi cook? if so, what dishes are his specialties?

unprompted / @amaurotine

Yes, Roi can cook. He can cook very well. He learned much about cooking from his mother, who was a good cook and hunter. He helped her cook at an early age and took an interest. It was a common bonding experience for them. He would get very excited to help her.

Even after her death, Roi found himself only really able to help when he and Niall stayed places in the kitchen because he was too young to help with the more dangerous survival tasks.

He also worked in restaurants when he was a teenager for money when they were living near Ul'Dah. It is something he still enjoys a lot. He goes out of his way to improve his skills and learn things. If he was not so fucked up, he probably could openly be nerdy about it instead of being super embarrassed by the skill.

He is really good at making dishes from Ala Mhigo, Thanalan, and Thavnair. As those were the most common things he did growing up. Roi will sometimes try new food and obsessively try to find a way to make it during whatever free time he has.

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Roi Portraits + Tanks

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It's raining

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Roi portraits + healers

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"You do not have to get me anything." Allan must certainly look pathetic enough to even consider caring for. As confounding and... strangely warming as it is to have Roi bring him a meal every so often, Allan still does not wish to be looked upon with pity. Allan knows how he looks: certainly more gaunt than ever, more tired from his trip to the First, and reluctant to venture out as much as he has done in the past beyond his residence in Ishgard. Still, Roi does not look much better. The trials have been hard on the man, and Allan does not wish to add to it, nor does he wish to see him try so hard to care for Allan, of all people, who does not deserve such thoughtfulness. Y'shtola had been enough, more than enough, and even now Allan is averse to telling her his condition. But Roi as well? Twelve. Perhaps Allan should find a more private abode after this.

"Truly. Do you not have other errands to run?" Allan huffs out. He crosses one leg over the other as he watches Roi set down a bag of... something. "You cannot have this much time to spend with me." Even though they have spend much more time together before, long ago. And with much more intimacy, but Allan tries not to think about that. Almost losing Y'shtola and Roi himself had been enough for him to not wish to add to such trauma. "I told you, I've not the stomach for that much food." Even though it is a fairly portioned meal, but what Roi does not know will not hurt him. "I assure you, I can take care of myself well enough." Although he's certain Y'shtola has told Roi about his awful habits; Allan would not put it past her.

( @swerte. )

 ⸻ ♞

He had been trying to keep busy. Since the others had returned home, Roi had spent much of his time worrying about them. Especially G'raha, who he still worried may somehow get lost. Losing people was not easy for him. And when the Exarch turned to crystal inside the tower, Roi had felt the familiar pain of loss. He still worried he would wake up and the reality he expected would come to pass. That all of his loved ones that had been on the first would be dead. Trapped on the first until their souls shriveled away. That G'raha would have died there in that tower, only a statue to show that he ever existed. And while it was easier to keep track of the members of the scions, one specific person seemed to be harder to reach.

Allan was thin. Thinner than usual. As damaged as his aether already seemed, according to Y'shtola, the entire trip must have been brutal for him. Roi couldn't help but mentally kick himself. It was his fault that Allan got wrapped up in all this. And he knew it could happen again the next time someone or something set their sights on the Warrior of Light.

He had been trying to prepare food that Allan could stomach. Of course, pretending he didn't make it himself. It felt even worse than usual making food for him. Considering their past... Roi could accept that he did have special and frustrating feelings for Allan. Though he knew it was never going anywhere. That was fine. Even if it hurt at times, simply not having the other in his life wasn't something he was willing to accept. It was selfish, but he wanted to make sure the other was safe. Even if... the biggest danger to him was Roi, himself. Being close to Roi brought nothing but misfortune to most.

"Oh shut up." There was no hostility in his tone whatsoever. "I'm not going to work so hard to get you back to your body only for you to neglect it."

The food he prepared would hopefully be easy for Allan to eat. Enjoy, even. Though he isn't sure how much Allan would enjoy food regardless.

"Eat it. Then I need to talk to you about something." He averted his gaze a little bit at the second bit. It was a talk he needed to have with him. However, he wasn't sure exactly how it would go over.

"I've been advised to not do anything dangerous now that we've all returned. Y'shtola wants to make certain my aether is healing." He still didn't feel normal. His skin was paler as well. Sometimes he felt... Ah, never mind it.

"So as it happens, I've found myself with an abundance of free time at the moment."

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Roi + ranged dps

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⸻ ♞ He took a breath. It was hard for him to get his emotions under control. Roi had always been too emotional, but he had become detached from the world after his mother died. Each time he lost someone in his childhood, he became more numb. He had walls that were almost impossible to break down. Were it not for Minfilia doing just that, he wondered where he would be. WHO he would be. Somehow, thanks to her and the scions, he had begun to see a future for himself. People he became familiar with. Only for him to lose it all over again. Instead of his emotions going numb again, they bled. Roi could not keep them under control anymore. And he had learned that they would be his strength and weakness.

"Aye. Chase your hopes, Urianger. That's all we can do, isn't it?" He had a feeling that the scholar's hopes were more pure than most. Despite his dishonesty. Despite how angry Roi was at him, he didn't hate him. He couldn't. He didn't know if he would ever personally trust him again, but he knew he would always do the right thing. Even if Roi hated it.

"I do." He did blame Her. He had a loathing towards her since he discovered his blessing. Roi had long since found himself to be an unbeliever in the gods. People prayed and nothing happened. No one protected them from the empire or the mercilessness of the world. Primals were the closest things to gods, abominations created by men. But when he learned of a so-called divine being, he couldn't help but be angry. If he was Her chosen one, had she crafted his life to create the perfect weapon? Were his choices his own? Were those that he lost only fuel to feed a goddess's agenda? The questions ate at him, and after the loss of the scions and his blessing, he had not heard from Her. She was weakened, sure. But if there was any love for him or actual care, should She not have done something. Even just given him a sign? No. All she did was kill Minfilia and watch Roi nearly destroy himself. "I do blame her. Even though I..." He stops himself. He still carried his fair share of the blame, but he doesn't want to go in circles with Urianger again.

Upon the next question, Roi stares for a moment. His plan? It was much the same. Protect what he can. Roi accepted that he loved people and that his love was his strength. Even if no one would or should love him beyond that of a weapon, he would protect them no matter what.

"I want to protect the rest of the Scions. No matter what it takes. I... I don't want to lose anyone else."

Now that the topic's focus has been turned upon him, Urianger finds himself oddly self-conscious. This wasn't meant to be about his issues, how did Roi end up switching that on him? It's... alright, point taken.

Urianger exhales slowly, looking away from Roi. His shoulders slump a little. "Perhaps thou hath the right of it." Not about his emotions, those he takes in stride. More that Roi is one who sees himself very set in his ways. Well, Urianger didn't expect that changing any time soon, either. "I can still pursue that which I hope for, is how it shalt be phrased."

And if he hopes for a future path where Roi is assured enough to have a little optimism for himself, then all the better for it. Roi... does not have to know if that is one of Urianger's pursuits. He would simply argue against it and completely fail to dissuade Urianger in the slightest.

Regardless of his personal feelings on Hydaelyn, Urianger gives Roi's statement a nod of assent. "Then Hydaelyn killed her." Simple enough. And he does have faith in Hydaelyn, but in the way one believes the sky exists. Of course it does, and of course a storm could kill. "Blame Her, who didst take the action, and not thyself, who did follow Minfilia's request."

Different from him, who pushed Hydaelyn into action. The blame is mentally (where Roi doesn't get to argue about it) yanked back. Urianger doesn't pretend to think that Roi would actually agree or allow that, but it feels important somehow to Urianger. He looks again at Roi for a beat, thinking. "And after this— I shall be protecting what I can, and what of thee in thy immediate plan?"

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Roi + healers

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Roi + tanks.

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In the next room, where Roi is sleeping, she has heard strange noises. Before entering, Y'shtola has a brief moment of hesitation. He appears to be asleep to her from where she is, but she cannot let her ears be fooled so easily. She heard him sob earlier, and she can't help but wonder if perhaps he was having a nightmare. Without a word, the witch decides to finally join him in bed and holds him from behind. Even though it might not be sufficient to expel all of his demons, at least tonight he will know he is not alone.

unprompted - always accepting / @sorcerhul

⸻ ♞

Sleep was never easy for him. He tried to hold out until he was certain no one would hear him. Despite his inability to cry while awake, he still does so in his dreams. Memories and fears plague his dreams. It was not uncommon for him to cry or scream in his sleep. Nor was it unusual for him to wake in a panic or drenched in sweat.

This was no different. Dreams of pain and loss. Of guilt and regret. Roi's mind attacks him in his sleep. The sadness that he tries to keep under control makes his heart break while he rests. There was no peace for him.

And yet, suddenly... Warmth. He feels warmth surround him. It doesn't stop the tears from falling, but... He knows that right now, he's safe. That's right. He feels safe. The horrors of his past, what could happen in the future.... It didn't matter now, did it? Without thought, stirring only slightly, he takes a breath. He caves into the delicate embrace. Dimly aware of who it must be, he knows she must have seen and heard him. Nevertheless, it didn't matter right now.

Right now, he just wants to sleep and enjoy this closeness before he has the chance to push it away.

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what are Roi's morals / ethics? Does he follow his moral code strictly?

unprompted / @ahkmourn

Roi believes that no people are above other people ever. That all people should exist as equals, and those that are fortunate enough to excel in something should use it to better those less fortunate. He believes it is the duty of the strong to protect the weak. The duty of the able to aid the disabled. He thinks that societies that care about material objects more than the lives and suffering of others are inherently flawed. Roi finds it to be his duty as someone so strong to protect those weaker than him. He thinks that also since he is a cynical and negative person, it should be for him to shield others from becoming like him. He cherishes those that selflessly help others. Those that believe in the future and hope. People that try their best to make the world better. He doesn't want more people like him running around, after all.

I would say Roi has an incredibly strict moral code that he adheres to based on these ideals. He believes the wicked oppressors of people should be punished. Because of this, he often was more sympathetic to the "beast tribes" than other people. He feels no guilt when he kills people he finds to fall into those categories. Roi even acted upon this as a child, which is what resulted in his village being destroyed. An action that he still doesn't really entirely think was wrong but it's complicated since he does entirely blame himself for death of his family.

Roi honestly did stop believing there were people that helped others for nothing until he met the scions. At first, he even doubted them until he got closer to Minfilia. But even when he tried to NOT stick to his ideals early in ARR, he still did it without thinking.

Roi has a strong sense of justice and believes that it is up to bad people like him to protect good people from other bad people. He believes that people who have privilege in any way and knowingly do not use it to help those that don't deserve to lose some of that privilege or more extreme things depending on the level of it. He even became a vigilante in Ishgard thanks to these ideals when he was training to be a dark knight.

Despite him not seeing it, his moral code is very intrinsic to almost every single thing he does.

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❝ i’ve had…more good days with you than with anyone else. ❞ ( from raha! )

LAST OF US (SHOW) STARTERS (x) / @aetherbled

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How could he respond to such a heartfelt sentiment? In truth, G'raha had saved him. He had been a catalyst for him to start trying to take care of himself. The scions all helped, but G'raha had been the one he watched sacrifice all for a world he wasn't even from. A hero beyond any in the tales. Roi was not good with words. He didn't know what to say. But he knew... G'raha made him... Feel things he never had before.

He thinks about how it would feel to embrace him. He thinks about all the words he could say if he was someone else. If he was someone worth such feelings. He knew he didn't deserve it and it scared him. To imagine the moment G'raha realizes he isn't someone he should love. But still... Roi shuts his eyes and allows his selfishness to win.

He isn't bold enough to embrace him. Such an outright action would be too much for him. He does put his hands on the shorter man's shoulders. Even such a cowardly display of intimacy terrifies him.

"G'raha... I..." I love you. He thinks but can't say.

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Roi portraits + ranged dps