#⇢✶thinking out loud《Ana’s musings》

[astrxthesiai]

Ana's Tags

⇢✶written with quill《Ana’s results》

[Questionnaire Results]

⇢✶about the iron crane maiden《Ana’s headcanons》

[Headcanons]

⇢✶thinking out loud《Ana’s musings》

[Musings]

⇢✶interview with the crane maiden《Ana’s answers》

[Ask Replies]

⇢✶trials on the horizon 《Ana’s rp replies》

[RP Replies]

⇢✶electronic and mechanical beats 《Ana’s soundtrack》

[Soundtrack]

⇢✶of welding gloves and wrenches 《Ana’s aesthetics》

[Aesthetics]

⇢✶the iron crane maiden 《Ana Crane》

[Main tag]

⇢✶ravenqueen pirate sniper 《Ana Main Verse》

[Main Verse - One Piece]

⇢✶the admiral and god slayer 《Ana’s fandomless》

[Fandomless Verse - god slayer ]

[missmarveledsblog]

Not just a flower child huh? ( logan howlett x reader ) part 3

summary : y/n finding her past haunting her more and more , people are starting to notice the way logan is with the new resident. when she gets upset she find she may have another gift to which leads to needing answers to what the lab done to her facing her fear of being tested on while her brother decides to make food from their childhood .

warnings : nightmare , flash backs, slow burnish , angst and fluff , google translated russian ( feel free to correct me ) , grammatical errors ( sorry )

( previous part)

Two months she was free  of the lab and yet she was still so out of place, she could talk to the kids and her brother mainly in russian as speaking english sometimes was bit exhausting . she did do the hangout thing with rogue both sitting in rogues room reading  but mostly in silence, short conversations but no more than a few sentences . she also would do same with people in the mansion unsure of how to socialize much, she also tied scott up couple more times although each time the vine got looser to point he was able to get himself out. She did love how more open the kids where lia and ana seemed love the attention of the other little girls and luka and henry loved the rough play with the other boys .  she couldn’t ask more than that , the kids actually getting to be kids . it was easier to talk to the younger residents , the older one though she could tell they were patient and it wasn’t them it was just hard concept of having people around . the greenhouse was her favorite place by far being able to have that quiet time and still watch the world around her it was best of both situations . she was even able to bring produce to the kitchen she learned to let it grow slower when they found themselves overstocked at one point but still it felt nice being able to contribute. 

The night though they never change each night she still would wake in a tear filled , panting and sweaty state . the screams were still as loud , the images still vibrant and vivid. Tonight she didn’t even bother trying to go back asleep . tiredly she dragged herself to the kitchen what she wasn’t expecting was her tea already on the counter made along with a blanket placed beside it and the back door open . wrapping the fuzzy soft material around her shoulder she took the mug in her hand and headed out only to smell that familiar scent. 

“ though you might enjoy looking at the stars without the glass in the way” logan turned to see her furrowed brow soften even a hint of a smile on her lips . 

“ don’t you ever sleep” she asked coming to his side as her eyes looked up at the sparkling stars . 

“ could ask you the same thing but i’m guessing your in the same boat” he turned back to look up at the sky. 

“ is sleep supposed to haunt you” she asked . 

“ i guess for us it does but it shouldn’t” he nodded . 

“ is the sky always like this ?” she asked again almost like a whisper. 

“ like what?” 

“ dark yet beautiful , i never seen anything like this in such alone time i used to think of it but it never was like this” . 

“ did you never get to see the outside world while you where there?” he asked chancing his arm on getting her to open up . 

“ not the sky no only a small window that would show if it was night or day” she mused. 

“ you made it not as bad for those kids , i mean without you they would of been well worse” he said looking at her seeing her eyes go glassy . 

“ i didn’t want them to feel like i did , i grew up in with those people , i know what that was like and i tried to make sure they didn’t” she sniffled looking up . “ i failed though” she added. 

“ you need to stop blaming yourself for something you had no control over”. 

“ it was my fault i tried to escape , i tried to leave and if i wasn’t knocked out i could of saved the others” she finally said running off back into the house . 

Morning finally came but she didn’t sleep not one bit , the past played in her head on loop almost like it was her own form of torture and she couldn’t get it out of her head nothing not even the stories she read could stop it . she walked down to the kitchen eyes filled with exhaustion , filled with sorrow and sadness as she got a cup of coffee hoping that it would help. It wasn’t missed on the other her mood as anything plant like around her either crumpled to dust or began to rot. Leaving the with her cup she headed to the living room the plant in the hall wilting and withering in her trail as she passed by the professor and storm . 

“ hey you ok” storm asked. 

“ tired is all “ she nodded leaving to the living room . 

“ you go see that the kids have eaten” professor gave sad smile as he turned to the living room watching her head hang low almost hiding her face from anyone who might pass by. 

“ you know dear i don’t need to look in your mind to know something is wrong” he called making her look up . 

“ you look in my mind and you will change how you feel about me” she sniffled . 

“ i have seen, your thoughts are loud and it does not change a thing , you are not the monster you think you are” he came closer as she moved back into the sofa. 

“ i think you are wrong on this one , i could of just stayed if i didn’t move they would of been here too” she looked down at the book . 

“ how do you know that?” .

“ because i would of been able to protect them , stopped the bastards getting near” . 

“ you tried to save them all , you risked your own life time and time again that is not action of a monster” he told her. 

“ and yet they are dead and i am not” 

“  four of them are here , thriving because of you” 

“ and the scream of five haunt my every waking moment “ she looked him in the eyes showing him what it was that haunted her , showing him it all .

“ this changes nothing it just shows you been through more than you should of ever been and that blame you hold on yourself is misplaced” he shook his head. 

“ i don’t think this is something that we will ever agree on” she laughed dryly . 

“ you poor thing” jean gasped as she looked up seeing them all standing there .

“ please spare me your pity all off you i am a monster” her voice raise as the lights flickered around her even taking her by surprise. “ great something new” she huffed. 

“ how many powers do you have” scott asked absent mindedly .

“ that is one question i do not know the answer to, i’ve been with them almost two decades and they pumped every concoction into my veins , the mind stuff and elemental was what the rest is them” she sighed. 

“ we can run some test and see , it wont be like the lab it will be pain free and you can stop anytime or even say no” jean said to her. 

“ anytime?” she asked considering it needing to know herself. 

“ anytime” the redhead confirmed. 

“ when?” she asked 

“ now or anytime you want you are in control with this here and it always your choice” . 

“ is this in his book” she finally asked a small smile on her face. 

“ is it working?” jean smirked as y/n nodded. “ well then no it not” . 

“ you should take notes gold retriever… lets do this i need to know” she stood wiping the tears from her face. 

“She really haunted by her past huh ?” scott asked as they walked into the kitchen. 

“ very much so it’s not pretty and she blames herself for it” professor solemnly spoke. 

“ what happened ?” piotr  spoke up yet he didn’t know if he was truly ready to hear the extent of the horror his little sister face. 

“ it’s not my story to tell , maybe when she is ready she might share it but now we just have to let her deal with her feelings let her know she is not a monster she believes herself to be” . 

“ i have a idea it not much and its not going to heal her but i can make something she love as a child , our grandmothers stew no matter what  we need to get new vegetables and other things though” piotr looked around the room . 

“ logan and scott could you get what he needs?” storm asked . 

“ of course he will .. and me too” scott smirked . 

“ whats that suppose to mean”. 

“ meaning you follow her around like  the loyal what she call you again doberman” he chuckled. 

“ oh fuck off” logan rolled his eyes as the other tried hiding their knowing smirks.  “ let just get this shit” he huffed walking out the door. 

“ i don’t know how i feel about this” Piotr brows furrowed. 

“ you’ll get used to it” storm patted his shoulder. 

She sat on the metal bed looking around the lab nervously it was nothing like the ones she used to be in but still it made nervous regardless . 

“ we don’t have to do this now we can wait til you're feeling better” jean told her softly feeling the girl nervous state radiate off of her.  

“ it just the first lab i’ve been in i’ll be ok” she shook her head. 

“ if you want to stop anytime let me know ok remember this is all your choice” the redhead reminded her. 

“ lets just get started” . 

“ ok i’m going to take a blood sample if that’s ok..  Hey let me get your brother or the professor maybe logan?” she didn't miss the smile on the redheads mouth at the last one. 

“ my brother will do” she blushed. 

“ what is going on with you and logan?” .

“ nothing really he’s there at night guess he has nightmares too” she shrugged as jean smile grew wider. 

“ i don’t think thats it , logan stopped having those a while ago  not completely gone but he rarely has them “ .

“ then why does he come to the kitchen?” her head tilted . 

“ that’s one you’ll have to figure out yourself “ jean winked. “ i’ll go get your brother” . 

“ no just do it , can i hold your hand on your coat” she asked nervously yet her mind was no working over time at the new information . 

 “ of course i’ll be quick and it will only be a little pinch and done ready” she asked as y/n nodded . she winced feeling the little sting as she grabbed the womans coat only to feel the hand replace the fabric . “ there we are done that part now i’m going to scan you and put these on you it won’t hurt one bit and but remember we can stop anytime” . 

“ i’m ok i’m not scared anymore” y/n smiled . 

“ scotts right your smile is pretty” jean winked as she went to put the vile of her blood in the analysis machine . 

“ your boyfriend is not as annoying but don’t tell him i said that” y/n huffed out with a laugh. 

“ my lips are sealed , you ready for next part” . 

“ born ready” she nodded. 

It was nearly dinner time when they emerge from the lab when the scent hit her nose . one that brought her back into the past this time it was a happier time . suddenly she was the little girl who spent her days on  the rural farm lands of russia  the smell of her grandmothers stew would signal the womans arrival making her run as fast as her little legs would take her into the small farm house.  She would almost knock her grandmother over as she jumped into her arms . when she was there it meant her parent weren’t cruel  , they wouldn’t be so hard and harsh on her and her big brother in the presence of the elderly woman .  she also would get spoiled rotten with treats and toys , pretty dresses . it was her most cherished times one she would use to keep her going when she felt like giving up . if it wasn’t for her brother and grandmother well she didn’t know how she would of been in the world, now she could smell that memory in real time one . 

“ он пахнет ее. ( it smells like hers) “ she walked in seeing her brother standing at the stove stirring the pot. 

“я пытался довести это до совершенства.

 ( i tried to make it to perfection) “he chuckled as he pulled  the big pot off bringing it into the dinning room . she couldn’t help but almost float following after and she couldn’t help the tears that fell down her cheeks she was surprise she still had some left. 

“ я сделал хуже?

 ( did i make it worse?)” piotr asked worriedly . 

“ нет, это прекрасно, это слезы счастья.

 ( no it’s perfect , these are happy tears)” she wiped her face. “ happy tears” she said in english as they all looked at her. 

“ smells good” scott stood as he handed her the ladle and piotr handed her a bowl. 

She got herself a generous helping sitting as they all filled their own. The moment it hit her taste buds she moaned happily .

“ taste  like hers” she smiled once more. 

“ what is this , so good “ rogue asked as others hummed their agreement . 

“ Solyanka but our grandmothers version” piotr explained as y/n was too busy wolfing it down . 

“ taste like home” she said grabbing more  as Piotr sat a little taller with pride . 

“ do you remember any of her other dishes” storm asked. 

“ i have her recipe book” piotr said softly . 

“ wait you have it” y/n almost dived over table excitedly. 

“ yes in my room she sent it too me so i wouldn’t forget the good food” he chuckled. 

“ that means we can make her Borodinsky” she gasped animatedly probably the first some of them seen her so excited, so happy . 

“ yeah i can give it to you later” piotr smiled happily .

part 4

taglist : @oscarissac2099 @ayamenimthiriel

[cherriesfm]

[ … ] ❀ you’re not from around here , are you? i figured because you totally just missed ALEXANDRA "ALEX" PEREZ walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who SHE/HER is ? they kind of look like ANA DE ARMAS and i could be wrong but i think that they might be THIRTY-FOUR years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last THIRTY-FOUR YEARS. and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of FIONA GALLAGHER from SHAMELESS. if you stick around the town long enough you might catch them in action working at SEAGLASS DANCE ACADEMY as a DANCE INSTRUCTOR. you see this town isn’t really that big of a place, some folks like to call them the ANCHOR of palmview! they took a liking to the name too after a while, go figure. oh crap, they must have heard me yapping. they’re coming this way. i got to warn you though, rumor has it they can pretty ANARCHIC at times. i wouldn’t take it too seriously though, from the times i’ve spoken to them they seemed pretty FERVENT to me. we see each other all the time since they live in that THREE BEDROOM apartment beside me over in OCEAN'S EDGE. i better leave you to it. it was nice meeting you!

musings. pinterest.

୨୧ STATS

full name: alexandra perez.

age: thirty-four.

gender & pronouns: cisfemale. she/her.

sexuality: pansexual.

occupation: dance instructor @ seaglass dance academy.

label: the anchor.

counterpart: fiona gallagher / shameless.

୨୧ BACKSTORY

tw: alcoholism, addiction, neglect.

alexandra perez displayed a talent in ballet from a very early age, showing extreme discipline and grace. when the world got too loud, she knew she could tune it all out at dance class.

growing up the oldest perez sibling, it wasn't always easy to just disappear. there were a lot of expectations to set a good example for her siblings.

it became significantly harder when at the age of 17, her mother walked out on them, leaving a heartbroken father and five children walking on eggshells around him, trying to navigate the new family dynamic without the one person who held them together most of the time.

at first, it was him just leaving the house at odd hours of the night, then it was whenever he was faced with the task of actually being a parent. then it took a complete turn for the worse by alex's 18th birthday.

by then, her father had become entirely consumed with his addiction, neglecting his duties as the head of the house and leaving alex to deal with the aftermath. her celebration for earning a scholarship at the dance academy of her dreams was cut short when she realized her siblings needed her more.

it was then that alex picked up whatever jobs she could find to keep food on the table, put her siblings through school and juggle all the responsibilities of managing the perez household. everything became about them, her entire life taking a backseat.

her parents will often times try to come back or repair what they broke but alex doesn't trust them anymore. she has deep love for them but she's also very heartbroken because of what they put her through.

her love life is literally not even on her mind, she always thinks of her siblings first and often puts them before any relationship.

currently works as a dance instructor because it's the closest she can get to dance again but it also hurts because it reminds her of what could've been if her parents just had their shit together.

୨୧ PERSONALITY

puts literally everyone else first

short tempered but only because she's very stressed all the time

is constantly torn between finally letting herself live her life and still taking care of her siblings

very impulsive sometimes

leave before you get left type of person

୨୧ WANTED CONNECTIONS

ride or die

childhood friends

one night stands / exes she left for her family

fwbs/situationships

high school sweetheart

childhood crush

[runningracingdancingchasing]

"That's okay, our mutual love for animals," and Rai, but she didn't say that part out loud, mostly because she didn't want to scare him but partly because loving her friends came easy as breathing and she didn't think it needed to be said, "is enough to let us be friends." Ana was a little intimidating, but also inspiring. Rapunzel really admired her.

"I can't imagine being able to go to an aquarium and not taking advantage of that," she mused. But then his childhood occurred to her and she made an 'oops' face as she looked at him. "You... weren't able to go, were you? Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

Places like zoos and aquariums were financial frivolities. Yes, the money went to supporting the institution, and conservation and the like (provided they were accredited places), but that didn't mean a poor family with nine kids could afford to go whenever they wanted.

She did her best to move past it, determined not to screw things up so early into the date.

"Anyway, I bet you've forgotten so much and so much has changed that you've basically never been, either! So it's new for both of us!" Just like dating! He had a little experience from years ago, and otherwise no real applicable practice. "I wonder if they have any touch tanks! Ooh, or bird feedings! I've read about some aquariums that let you feet parrots and parrot-like birds, like lorikeets! I wonder if they have any behavioral shows, like diving otters or sea lions doing their examination poses! I bet there's all sorts of creatures in there I never even knew existed! This is so cool!"

She bounced a little in her seat, eager to get there, and very glad he'd thought to go here.

Her hand resting on top of his was sweet. They were both almost hesitant, but both obviously wanting to do little gestures of affection.

“Nope. We can both screw up as much as we want and the other will have no idea,” he teased. “I think you guys have a love for animals in common and… not much else,” he added with a laugh. Ana was his best friend, but it hadn’t worked out between them romantically - it was probably a good thing that Rapunzel wasn’t particular similar.

He smiled at the thought of how excited she’d be in the aquarium. It was easy to imagine her pulling him along by the arm from exhibit to exhibit. It was an adorable image. “I guess so. Surprised you haven’t been yet. I haven’t been since I was a kid.” Man, it’d really been a long time, hadn’t it?

[festive]

punishing his bimbo!girlfriend 18+ // streamer!chifuyu x bimbo!reader

cw: nudity, sex, swearing, bimbofication!

summary: bimbo girlfriend accidentally ruins poor boyfriends stream.

a/n: reuploaded because I didn’t see my errors. T-T

It was one of those nights where Chifuyu was playing overwatch with his two friends, Baji and Kazutora. Turning on his stream so that his viewers could watch him playing in high 4400 elo lobbies and see him carry each game on dps.

With how the games were going he couldn’t afford to focus on anything else, I mean how could he? He had Baji screaming in his ear about a flanking hog and how “nobody ever pays attention to the that fucking hog in the background.” and Kazutora screaming at the poor little Mercy main in chat saying to heal him, calling her all types of names like “boosted whore” and “shitty one trick.”

Poor Chifuyu, he couldn’t even check his chat to see what they were saying because he was so stressed trying to win. It was the last round on Nepal, both teams fighting for the point in overtime. All it took was one team wipe and Chifuyu’s team would win.

The enemy team only had a Mei and Ana contesting the point meanwhile it was him on Mccree, Kazutora on Reinhardt, and the Mercy on point. “Easy win.” he mused. Pushing his mic closer to his face he tells Kazutora to ult them after he stuns them, which he does winning them the game.

With that Chifuyu’s chat goes crazy, spamming the chat with praises on his great plays, “poggers”, “pogchamps” and what ever other annoying twitch emotes you could think of. “Damn that game was stressful, I knew we weren’t gonna lose but damn, that took longer than it needed to just to kill a Mei.” Chifuyu says to the boys. “Yea, tell me about it, that mercy fucking sucked. She was so far up yours and Baji’s asses, she didn’t heal me at all! I don’t know who boosted her to masters but i’m avoiding the fuck out of her.” Kazutora complained to which Baji laughed and replied “You can’t be mad at her for pocketing the carries, you think if I carry her to grandmaster she’ll send me nudes?” He joked.

Chifuyu coughed a bit clearing his throat, “Ok, ok guys, lets keep it pg here, i’m streaming. Queue up again.” he interrupted hoping Baji would get the hint and not go into details further.

Hoping out the shower, you dry your body off, doing your night routine soon after. Before leaving the bathroom you call out for Chifuyu to see what he was up to. “Chifuyu, baaaaaby~” you call out loud enough for him to hear you.

No response.

You call out for him again and still, no response.

Instead of putting clothes on you decided just to wrap your towel around you, and exit. Making your way to your boyfriend’s room to see why he’s not answering. Before you could open his door, yelling could be heard and the sounds of him banging his finger against the keyboard could be heard. Along with two other voices you easily recognized and Kazutora and Baji.

Quietly, you open his door and to your dismay. There he was, sitting in his black and blue gaming chair, staring into the large monitor in front of him. “Fuyuuuuu~” you say once more hoping to get a reply. “Not right now, babe. I’m in the middle of a comp match.” you roll your eyes in annoyance now that you know where all the attention you should be getting went to, but then suddenly and idea popped up inside your head.

Smirking to yourself you drop the poorly wrapped towel from off your body, and make your way towards your boyfriend. Unbeknownst to you, you were in line of sight of his camera. The view his chat had was amazing, your round perky breasts, and pretty pussy in full display for his stream. Before poor Chifuyu could notice what was going on, the chat was going wild. Spamming all different types of praises about your sexy body.

The moderators did the best they could to control the chat, timing out and banning whoever they had to. However it wasn’t enough, too many people, too little mods. It wasn’t until Baji yelled into the mic, “HOLY SHIT, CHIFUYU YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS SO FUCKING HOT!” To which even Kazutora had to agree, “Just one chance, y/n” he begged. Chifuyu was so confused until he turned around and there you were, completely nude and on full display for everyone to see. Shrieking he throws himself over the camera in panic.“HOLY FUCK, WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!” Still shrieking while trying to disconnect the camera. “I-I’m so sorry guys, but I have to end the stream.” He apologizes and says his goodbyes before turning off the stream.

Throwing off his headset, he turns and glares at you. Oh boy he was mad, you can feel the angry radiating off him making you feel small in the process. “What do you think you’re doing?” He snaps, getting up from his spot on his gaming chair and making his way towards you. “M’ sorry, I just wanted your attention.” you mumble out avoiding his gaze.

Letting out an annoyed sigh Chifuyu wraps his arms around your smaller body holding you close against his chest. “Get on the bed, and spread your legs.” He ordered, to which you happily obliged finally getting the attention you were seeking. You bounced your way over to the bed, but not before wiggling your ass a little with each step. Laying yourself upon the soft bed, you eagerly await your boyfriends next command.

“Pleasure yourself.” he says, “huh?” You look at him with a confused look upon your face, lips pushed up in a pout. Chifuyu rolled his eyes at your expression before saying “After what you pulled earlier embarrassing me on stream, do you really think you deserve my touch right now?” You let out a huff of annoyance, before you reluctantly do what you’re told.

Spreading your long legs, you move one of your hands slowly down towards your cunt while the you use the other one to prop yourself up a little. You slowly spread your lips for him ,giving him a clear view of your cunt and how needy it is for his touch. Without a further doubt, you slowly work two fingers into your drooling cunt, teasing and massaging your velvety walls. You manage to sneak a third finger inside, however it wasn’t enough.

Your fingers aren’t as thick and long as his, they don’t reach that special spot. Even with you occasionally curving them up. You let out a frustrated groan, moving your thumb up to your clit and circling it around in a fast motion. Tears start to swell in your eyes, facing become red with annoyance. It still wasn’t enough for you to cum. You turn your head towards Chifuyu to look up at him and beg for his touch, batting your eyelashes the best you could.

Chifuyu lets out a sigh, before letting his eyes soften at your gaze and making his way in between your thighs. In no time, Chifuyu’s thick, long fingers end up filling your desperate cunt. Sending you into the orgasm you’ve been so desperately trying to seek.

“Feel better, baby?” You nod your head, sniffling a bit. Chifuyu’s lets out a small chuckle, god he was so weak to you. “Good because we’re not done yet. Turn around, face down ass up on the bed.” You eagerly nod your head, and do as he says. Not wasting any time you flip yourself around so that your on your hands and knees, back arched so that your plump ass is up in the air and your pretty face is pressed against a pillow.

After discarding his clothes, Chifuyu gives his thick, girthy cock and few pumps before getting on top of you and aligning it with your drooling pussy. Pushing himself in at a slow and agonizing pace. “Fuyu, please!!” You squeal, getting the message, he grabs onto your hips with enough force thats sure to leave a few bruises. Then proceeds to slam himself into you at an inhumane pace.

You feel so hot and full. Your boyfriend might be a nerd but he sure does know how to use his fat cock. It shows, especially now with how hes hitting that sweetest spot inside you.

Moving your hand towards your clit, you rub furious circles into it and you let out loud shameless moans. “Fuyu, i’m so close!!” You sob out, Chifuyu picks up his pace balls slapping against your ass in the process. He can feel your velvety walls start to flutter and squeeze around him. All it takes is one final slam that has you spasming around his cock.

Chifuyu pulls out after you finish. Jerking his cock above your plump ass, spurting thick ribbons of white semen all over it, and smearing it with his hands.

Rolling off you and onto the side next to you, Chifuyu glances at your collasped and exhausted form. Watching as you try to catch your breath, he whispers out a soft “I love you.” Before wrapping his arms around your form and pulling you into his chest.

[ballet-symphonie]

Quickfire Questions

In honor of World Ballet Day, I'm queueing this post! I'm trying to catch up on a lot of shorter questions on assorted topics. Gotta clean out my ask box! Enjoy!

Thoughts on Iana Salenko? Personally, I really like her

Love, love, love. Not only a fabulous dancer but her determination to continue to dedicate for the art form she loves through motherhood is so inspiring.

Hi Ale who is your fave male ballet dancer?

I have too many, but I'm still on such a high from that Kim/Shakirova DQ video that I'll just name him. Kimin Kim is the king everyone.

Shakirova is like fireworks there, and of course Kim is great 🤔 another addition to the “oh how i wish i was there seeing it live” list, so joyous to watch!

Trust me, I'm fully on their hype train.

What is your favourite role of Anastasia Matvienko?

Gamzatti is the first thing that jumped to my mind. I gravitate to her in more of the 'bad girl' roles. She also danced a very seductive, enrapturing Carmen.

Thoughts on Carlotta Onesti?

She's wonderful, always happy to support fellow Italianas dancing and doing well!

Ale, thoughts on Márcia Haydée? I think she is brilliant, one of, if not the best Juliet of all time, but I don't see much of her on the tumblr community :(

Ahh, Cranko's Muse. I should watch more of her. To be fair, a lot of 'old school' ballerinas don't get talked about a lot here, but especially not non-Russian or non-American ballerinas. She deserves more love. I mean for crying out loud, she originated some of the most widespread roles in the neoclassical rep today, Cranko's Juliet, Tatiana in Oneign and Katherine in The Taming of the Shrew. Absolutely a legend, but one that should be praised more for her accomplishments and her freedom to just dive into roles.

Any thoughts on Ana Turazashvili? I tend to really like her in roles like Queen of the Dryads.

Not a super memorable dancer to me, but I remember being very captivated by the Mata Hari project she shot with La Personne. Definitely someone with potential in the modeling/CF/ more silver-screen world.

Ale, very specific question!! Please, help!! Do you have any link to the performance of Legend of Love with Tereshkina, Osmolkina and Tsiskaridze? I don't even know if a full ballet recording of this performance exists, but I really want to see. I only saw some photos, but what a dream cast!!! I would probably cry a little if I'd had seen it live

I'm not sure a full recording exists and I'm not sure how much of that particular complete cast you'll be able to find. I did find a Mekhmene Banu and Ferkhad pas de deux with Tereshkina/Tsiskaridze HERE. This performance is from 27.05.2011 at Crocus City Hall, not the MT stage so that also makes recordings a bit less likely.

There are a LOT of recordings with Tsiskaridze, particularly with different ballerinas (eg Gracheva, Semizorova, Antonicheva) from the late 90s/early 2000s that you can simply find on YT by searching something like "Цискаридзе Легенда о любви"

Ale do you know anything about a ballet blog devil on point shoes? I’ve happened to look at some posts since it has like 8k members and the woman who runs it is a friend of Nikolai T aaand…boy oh boy….

Yes, this blog/TG channel is run by a very outspoken Russian balletomane named Irina. If nothing else....she ALWAYS has a comment.

What do you think of the ballet Mayerling?

Some epic pas de deux, and a great narrative arc for the male lead but this ballet gets really convoluted, really fast. Nearly have to watch and take notes to keep up with everything.

If you don’t mind me asking, what’s going with ENB?

Lots of turmoil internally under the direction of Tamara Rojo and then even more chaos seems to be following once it was announced that she is moving to San Francisco Ballet to be their new director. Lots of roster changes, generally does not seem to be the most uplifting and supportive place to work currently.

To me, Dewdrop is the Ashley Bouder role and I think the all the praise for it is understandable, watching her in it is one of those instant cheer-ups

If it's my choice to cast Dewdrop, I'm picking Tiler Peck. Every. Single. Time.

[daniclaytcn]

dancing in a snow globe 'round and 'round

title: dancing in a snow globe 'round and 'round

Summary: Eddie mock-glares at him. “You’re a coward, starting something when you know I can’t retaliate since you’re holding your niece.”

Buck smirks smugly. “This little one will protect me,” He says and bends down to nuzzle her head, making her burst out into giggles. Eddie has to look away abruptly, something inexplicably warm and fuzzy building in his chest, a feeling of want so strong he thinks his heart might burst.

ao3 link

a/n: look at me, jumping back into the writing game after i don't even know how long. thank you @malikjavaddzayn for reading this as i wrote it and being so sweet!

also tagging: @evaneddie @matan4il

As Eddie lets himself into Buck’s apartment, he is instantly greeted with the high-pitched wails of a crying baby and the sight of his best friend looking minutes away from beginning to cry himself as he bounces his niece in his arms. Eddie bites back a smile, closing the door behind him.

“I thought you said this was an emergency,” He teases. Buck looks up, his expression morphing from one of relief to a glare.

“Make yourself useful and help me,” Buck all but whines. “She won’t stop crying and I don’t know what to do, I tried feeding her and it didn’t work. Her-her diaper doesn’t need to be changed and I-I don’t know, am I hurting her? Why did Maddie let me babysit? I’m terrible at this!”

“Alright, alright,” Eddie quickly goes to Buck and gently takes Baby Joy out of his arms. Buck lets go hesitantly and his eyes become comically wide as Joy begins to quiet down almost instantly when Eddie cradles her in his arms.

“You’re kidding me,” He says, looking betrayed. “How did you do that?”

“You’re stressed out and panicking,” Eddie says patiently. “Which means you’re stressing her out in return. Babies can sense that sort of thing, you know.” A smirk appears on his face. “Unless she just prefers me to you,” He looks down at Joy, cooing at her. “You prefer me to your Uncle Buck, don’t you, honey?”

“I hate you,” Buck grumbles, sinking down into the couch. “I’ll have you know that I’ll always be her favorite.”

“I’m surprised Albert isn’t fighting you for that title.”

“Hah! He can try.”

“Where are Chim and Maddie, anyway?”

“Date night,” Buck replies, reaching out for Joy again, sighing in relief when Eddie gives her back and she doesn’t immediately start crying again, instead just reaching up and fisting her little hand in his shirt. He all but melts, smiling dopily down at her. She really is a little angel when she isn’t screaming loud enough to wake half of Los Angeles.

“It’s their first night out since Joy was born,” He continues, looking up at Eddie now that he’s sure Joy’s not going to throw another tantrum. “I offered to babysit, and, well…”

Eddie looks amused as he sits down next to Buck, stretching his arm over the back of the couch, his thigh pressing into Buck’s. “Just because she happened to have a crying fit while you happened to be babysitting doesn’t mean you’re terrible at this, you know. Babies cry sometimes. It’s been known to happen.”

Buck pouts at him. “Stop making fun of me.”

Eddie tries to keep a straight face and fails miserably. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Careful not to dislodge Joy, Buck picks up a couch cushion and throws it at Eddie’s face. Eddie mock-glares at him.

“You’re a coward, starting something when you know I can’t retaliate since you’re holding your niece.”

Buck smirks smugly. “This little one will protect me,” He says and bends down to nuzzle her head, making her burst out into giggles. Eddie has to look away abruptly, something inexplicably warm and fuzzy building in his chest, a feeling of want so strong he thinks his heart might burst.

It's been a while since Eddie had come to the long overdue realization that the feelings he had for his best friend might not have been as platonic as he’d thought. It had dawned on him, ironically enough, while he had been dating Ana Flores. As smart and kind and pretty as she was, no amount of time they spent together had ever made him feel as at home and carefree and…safe, even, as coming back home after every single date with her, to see Buck either on his couch playing with Christopher or waiting with a cup of coffee and a soft smile long after Chris was in bed. The moment he’d started realizing that was the moment he started noticing everything else, the way they were constantly in sync in everything they did; be it tiding up Buck’s living room after movie night with Christopher or out in the field, doing their jobs and saving lives. The way he gravitated to Buck, constantly in his orbit, wanting to share any piece of good or exciting news or even random trivia with him, first, and no one else. The way watching Buck with his son sometimes moved him so much, he’d need a moment to compose himself, to hide the feelings he felt must show so plainly on his face, clear for the world to see.

After that, he had to break up with Ana. And he still hasn’t done anything about his feelings, because, well…

Well, Eddie has never claimed to be brave when it comes to matters of the heart. There’s a reason why Buck has teasing called him ‘emotionally constipated’ more than a couple of times.

There’s a knock on the door, bringing Eddie out of his musings. Buck perks up.

“I ordered us some pizza before you got here,” He says and nods to his wallet on the coffee table. “Could you go get it?”

Eddie is relieved to do so, convinced that he won’t be able to conceal the extent of his affections the longer he keeps watching Buck with Baby Joy. As he takes the pizza from the delivery guy, he hears Joy begin to fuss again and doesn’t even need to look over his shoulder to know that Buck is panicking. He can’t help but chuckle.

The delivery guy peers around the doorway and smiles at what Eddie presumes is Buck with Joy. “Newborn, eh?”

“Yeah,” Eddie laughs fondly as he pays him. “She’s got quite the pair of lungs on her.”

The delivery guy shakes his head with an endeared smile. “Looks like you and your husband have your hands full.”

Eddie stills at the innocuous remark and before he can say anything, the delivery guy has bid him goodbye and left. He closes the door slowly, frozen in place.

It’s not an unreasonable assumption, he thinks. Hell, it’s probably one he would make himself. It shouldn’t be that surprising that people look at him and Buck, with a baby between them and automatically think they’re together. He wouldn’t be surprised if the same thing has happened whenever Buck has joined him and Christopher on any of their outings.

No, what is surprising, somehow despite the fact that he knows he has feelings for his best friend, is how desperately he wants it to be true. How much he wants Buck to be with him and Christopher, the three of them a family; how easy it is to envision it and scarily enough, how easy it is to go even further and see them many years along the line, still together, possibly even with another child-

“Eddie?” Buck’s voice sounds in equal parts amused and concerned. “Are you just gonna stand there with the pizza all day?”

Eddie turns to face him. Joy seems to have calmed down, since Buck has placed her back in her crib. Taking a step towards him, Buck must see some of the existential crisis playing out in Eddie’s head right now on his face because he quickly takes the pizza from him and sets it down.

“Hey, man,” All traces of amusement are gone from his face now. “What’s wrong?”

There are a number of things that Eddie wants to say. That he should say. He knows he shouldn’t jump into something without thinking about it properly, especially after the disaster that was him moving too fast and too recklessly with Ana.

And yet.

This isn’t just anyone. This is Buck.

And Eddie isn’t even perfectly sure that Buck even feels the same way, but-

He’s never felt quite so compelled to just go for it, to throw caution to the wind and be brave for once as he does now.

Slowly, Eddie sways into Buck’s space, cupping the back of his neck and pressing his forehead to his. He feels Buck exhale sharply, stiffening for a brief moment, before melting into his hold.

“Eddie,” Buck breathes, his voice breaking on the last syllable.

“Is this okay?” Eddie whispers, not quite sure what it is that he’s asking permission for.

Is it okay for me to touch you? Is it okay for us to cross that line? Is it okay that nothing is ever going to be the same again?

Are you sure you want me, baggage, demons and all?

Buck responds by closing the space between them and kissing him.

It’s soft and gentle and sweet, somehow both hesitant and confident at the same time, so much like Buck himself that Eddie smiles into the kiss, joyful laughter caught in his throat as he pulls him closer. They keep it at that, mindful of the fact that there’s a baby less than five feet away from them, not even kissing after a point but just swaying together, breathing in each other’s air.

“So, this is new,” Buck murmurs what may be twenty seconds or twenty years later.

Eddie hums. “Feels like we’ve been dancing around it for a lot longer than we’ve both realized.”

Buck chuckles. “I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way.” He admits. “And…I guess I was scared, too.”

Eddie pulls away slightly to look at him. “So was I,” He says quietly. “Hell, I still am. But…” He pauses momentarily, trying to find the words. “I think we can be good together. We are good together.”

Buck’s responding smile is like sunshine personified and Eddie can’t help but kiss it, lingering softly, just because he can.

“I guess we’re really doing this then,” Buck says, breathlessly when they part.

As if on cue, Joy begins to fuss again and Eddie laughs at Buck’s groan.

“I think she’s hungry,” Eddie says. “And our pizza is getting cold.”

“But we’ll talk later, right?” Buck asks, rather anxiously. “We need to figure this out-and work-and Christopher-“

The fact that Buck’s already thinking of Chris makes Eddie’s heart swell. “We will,” He assures him, taking his hand in his, smiling when Buck interlinks their fingers. “One thing at a time.”

Joy makes another disgruntled noise and Buck finally nods, his smile returning as he turns to check on her. And Eddie-Eddie cannot be happier.

And maybe, for once, he gets to keep this.

[captainjimothycarter]

What are Steve's wedding vows to Peggy?

Hey i wrote something since like Saturday. kinda proud of myself despite BAD anxiety over this.

--

“Are you ready, Steve?”

The question came from Edwin Jarvis, the man sticking his head in through the curtains to smile at the nervous Captain. Steve just held up the bowtie in despair, trying to hide the shake in his fingers.

“I can mull down hundreds of Nazis. I can fight Hydra to the bone and-and nearly be killed by a frozen tundra, but what defeats me is a god dang bow tie!”

Jarvis laughed as he stepped into the small side room, giving him a comforting smile. “You know,” he mused as he started to do the tie. “When I was marrying my Ana, I was so nervous I fainted right as we got to I do.”

Steve felt himself gap, looking the man up and down. He could picture that, not that he would say it. He felt like he might faint before he even got out to where Bucky and Colonel Phillips were waiting for him.

“When I came to, my head was in Ana’s lap and I insisted she was an angel. She practically is - not that I’ll ever insist anything different. She’s never let me live that down, that rascal. The point is, Captain Rogers,” the man smirked as he finished the tie and smoothed it out along Steve’s neck. “It’s okay to be nervous.”

“I’m...Captain America, I shouldn’t be nervous, I wasn’t nervous when-”

“Let me ask you something,” Jarvis spoke over him, patting the guy’s shoulders to get him to sit down. He pulled a comb out of nowhere and started to fix Steve’s mousy hair from his constant fingers combing through it. All Steve could do was look on in the mirror. “When you bulldozed through of Hydra agents or lead your Howling Commandos through countless missions or did whatever you did in what the reports do not say, were you nervous?”

“Of course not, those guys depended on me. I couldn’t afford to be nervous or second think my actions, someone might’ve died.” Plenty of people did, in ways Steve could’ve never stopped or predicted unless he’d been there, but he was one person.

Not that Jarvis was asking about this.

“Exactly. They depended on you. You needed to be ready for anything, to overcome anything Hydra would’ve thrown at you. Yet with Miss Carter, you’re nervous about your wedding? It’s practically a tradition to be nervous. Do you know what that means?”

“That I’ll fumble my vows or drop the rings and it’ll roll into a gutter, never to be seen again?”

Jarvis snorted and lightly squeezed Steve’s shoulder. “No, Captain Rogers, it does not. It means that you love her. You love Miss Carter with every fiber of your being. It means you, my friend, will have an amazing wedding and marriage. Even if you do fumble, you can do no worse than me and fainting.”

Steve covered his face, trying to stabilize his breathing. He did love Peggy - Jarvis was right. There was no doubt about that. He loved her. Loved her so damn much he might explode. He just...was nervous.

“Being nervous,” Jarvis continued as he put the comb away and tilted Steve’s head up to inspect himself in the black and white suit. “Being nervous is a tradition. It means you love her. I’m sure Miss Carter is nervous too.”

Steve’s mouth opened to counter, Peggy couldn’t be nervous - he’s seen her stare enemies dead in the eye and not miss a beat. He’s seen her let herself get shot if it meant saving the hostage. He’s seen her survive countless trails and still stand on top at the end of the day. There’s no way Peggy was nervous. Yet, the second he opened his mouth to say something, Bucky stuck his head through the curtain.

His hair was perfectly parted thanks to his mother’s intervention. He was sure the second his ma wasn’t looking, he would mess it up. The suit he wore was a little on the older side, insisting he got to wear his dad’s suit to this wedding.

“You ready, Stevie? That green isn’t a good shade, bud.”

Steve gently swatted at Bucky’s chest as he adjusted the suit once more, trying to take in a deep breath to calm down.

“Shut up. I’m just...nervous. How’s everything looking? We ready?”

“Ready as we’ll ever be. Ole Phillips is grumbling as ever. Dugan is waiting up there, Angie is ready. We’ve already had to stop the niece and nephew from throwing the flowers everywhere.”

“Oliver and Penny really like those roses, huh?” Steve’s lips twitched into a small laugh at the idea of the kids going haywire with those roses. “And Peggy? Is she…?”

“Ana and Rose and even Howard are in there, it’s alright.” Seeing his friend’s panic look, he smoothed down his suit again, the metallic hand glimmering in the dull light of the chapel. “Let’s get this party started and get you two crazy kids married.”

--

“Always knew you two would end up together,” Phillips grunted as Steve stood nervously, shifting from foot to foot. “From the second she laid eyes on that scrawny form of yours.”

Steve laughed, a more forceful laugh given the nervous state he was in. He watched Jarvis politely sit down after checking in on the girls, Rose already coming up to stand by them. Bucky clapped Steve on the shoulder, squeezing him too hard.

“Told you,” he chuckled. “You two were meant to be…”

“‘cept you shouldn’t have shown up in the bar when we were having your public funeral,” Dugan interjected. “Not the best idea, Cap.”

“You’re lucky Carter didn’t shoot you on the spot, coming up with a soiled uniform, and half that glass in your chest,” Phillips grunted.

“Wouldn’t have hurt as bad, if-”

Steve stopped the second he heard Ana playing the piano, turning on his heels and towards the door.

He watched Oliver and Penny run through with the flowers, throwing them everywhere but the floor. His little giggle and the laugh through the chapel made him relax a little, but the second he saw Peggy, everything was back in full force.

She was...beautiful, spectacular. A thousand words he couldn’t think to say. His mind nothing but a fine-tuned sound of buzzing as he watched her slowly walk through that door. Ana had worked perfectly on that dress, the trim, the lace, every down to the last details of the pearls knitted into the collar.

Steve could feel the tears burning in his eyes as she slowly stood in front of him, hearing in the corner of his mind, Phillips muttering about sap.

He loved her.

“You look…” Steve struggled with the word as he held onto her glove-laced hands, looking down at them and slowly back to those beautiful hazel eyes that he’d fallen in love with before he even knew what color they were.

“I know,” Peggy finished, squeezing his hands. “You look pretty dashing yourself. We-”

“How about we get this show on the road, huh?” Phillips asked, breaking the silence, and the music slowly melted into the background. “We all knew we’d end up here today. It was just a matter of time and if it was legal or not. I expected you two to just waltz into my tent one day and demand to be married, the laws and logic be damned.”

“Almost,” Steve mused, shrugging his shoulders. Phillips’ grey eyes were trained on him, brow rose as if to ask what. “I proposed to Peggy after she’d been shot during the hostage situation of ‘44.”

“Son.” The tone said all and the Howling Commandos laughed the loudest. Steve glanced over to see Peggy’s side of the family, most with pursed lips. They still weren’t pleased that their daughter was marrying a Yankee.

“We told him to do it,” Dugan interjected.

“Dared him, actually,” Jones added.

“Double-dog dared him,” Bucky said.

“Actually, we told him to do it or we would on his behalf,” Pinky reminded them.

“We-”

Phillips’ look silenced Falsworth on the spot, the man clearing his throat and stepping back in line. “We’re no longer at war, boys, you don’t have to keep defending your Captain under insane circumstances. I’ll never forget about the damn goat incident.”

--

It was only a few minutes later before Phillips cleared his throat again and nodded towards the couple. “The couple has written their own vows. Ca-Steve, would you like to go first?”

Steve blinked as he felt Peggy’s eyes on him, trying to calm his racing heart down. “Okay, yeah. Yeah,” he breathed, taking the paper Dugan had passed him. “I stayed up till 4 in the morning working on this. Mr. Jarvis had to eventually take the pen from me so I’d sleep.”

“And he didn’t accept my help,” Howard muttered just loud enough for Steve to hear, making the Captain flush.

“Okay, here it goes,” Steve breathed, unfolding the paper and trying not to let how nervous he was shown. His hands were already starting to shake and he was afraid sweat would ruin the ink.

Peggy’s hand gently closed around his wrist and offered him a comforting smile. “It’s okay, darling. Just us. Not a whole platoon of guys to play Star-Spangled Man With A Plan.”

If he wasn’t blushing then, he was now.

“Peggy, I…” Steve looked down at the paper and back up at her. He could hear Jarvis’s voice in the back of his head telling him that when he got up there, he’d know what to say. Fumbling or not.

“Peggy, I love you. I’ve loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you and I didn’t know it. I didn’t know what the color of your lips was or the color of your eyes or your hair or even your uniform. I didn’t know the true sound of your voice or the smell of the roses on your skin. I didn’t know much then - hell I don’t know much now -”

A few people laughed and Steve lowered the paper, looking dead into his wife-to-be eyes.

“I didn’t know much then. I just knew you were hell on high heels and damn anyone who got in your path. When you first knocked out Hodge, I felt my breath taken away. When you ran for the grenade too, I wanted my last sight to be of you, swore I was goin’ blow myself up to a million pieces. Our first conversation in that car might’ve been one of our lasts and I was glad it was with you, someone who understood me. Understood what it was like to be discriminated against because we’re us… Because I was sickly and small and you were a woman, a girl, a-”

“You still don’t know how to talk to women, do you?” Peggy asked, blinking the tears from her eyes and making Steve give a wet laugh.

“I”m afraid not, how I managed to get you to fall in love with me is a wonder. The point is, Pegs, I love you, from the bottom of my heart. All through the war, we talked about what we wanted after. I insisted on a white-picket fence, a house in some neighborhood, that we’d build the perfect life together and well...you saw where that lead us. Me to a watery grave and you punching me out when I showed up at that bar. Even if I was late for our dance.

I just...I love you. Life has taken us on insane turns from clearing our friend’s name to-to living in LA for a few months. To...to here. To me finally getting the guts to purpose to you. Or more like catching my breath. I need you in my life and I’m lucky to have you. I’m more than happy to sit on the sidelines and let you work, to raise our kids or tend to a home, to do anything you ask. I’m more than happy to just be yours. I just...I need to be yours like I need to breathe. You are my life, Peggy Carter, and I’ll have no other but you. I’m lucky to be your husband, to be by your side through it all.”

Peggy didn’t bother to hide the few tears running down her face, thankful Angie had fixed her makeup just right to prevent the tear streaks from showing. She cleared her face off with the handkerchief Rose had given her and sniffled.

“Sap,” she laughed, shaking her head. “I stayed up late last night but not writing these vows. I...told myself I knew what I was going to say when I got up here, but I’m mistaken. I can only say I love you, Steve Rogers. You are my life. My soul. When I was young, I insisted I wouldn’t marry. I insisted my life was to slay dragons, rescue knights, be a pirate. To be anything but the lady my mother wanted me to be.

I insisted I knew what I wanted for myself. That I-I wanted to be a codebreaker and I was good at it. I-”

“And saved our lives with it,” Howard said, causing them to laugh.

“Yes, Howard, thank you. I am good at it. I’m great at it. I insisted that’s all I could do to help the war effort, to maybe consider becoming a nurse but my mother and Fred forbidden it. I insisted I loved Fred because my mother did. I insisted that I could do some good by staying home, being the good wife, and keeping my head down. I insisted on a lot of things but for myself…

It took Micheal’s death for me to see there was more for me out there. The SSR was life-changing for me. Getting to serve under Colonel Phillips’ here, getting to meet you, even if you were...different.”

“It’s okay, call him a shrimp like I did,” Phillips interjected, making Peggy give a wet chuckle. “Kid got that sandwich after all.”

He swore the man smiled at him - even if Steve wouldn’t admit it.

“You were different. You stood out from the rest and it was because of your good heart. Yes the grenade incident, but you helped the nurses around the base. You helped collect herbs for them when we ran out of pain killers, you remembered decades-old healing practices that your mother taught you. You gave some of the guys, even if they were bastards to you, advice on how to fix their broken shoelaces or how to even hide the knives better in their clothes. You were kind and sweet-hearted and I wanted you from the start.

Even after your serum, you didn’t change. You saved that kid. You saved me, even if I was quite upset about it.”

“You did yell at me a lot for pushing you out of the way,” Steve interrupted, remembering that chaotic day.

“You were running with no shoes on and shoved me out of the way of an oncoming car. I had to yell about something.” She smoothed down his suit and sighed, shaking the veil. “Even after that, Steve, I...I love you. I loved you from the start. During the war, that love only grew. I thought we hid it well.”

“No,” Bucky snorted. “No, you two did not. Everyone knew.”

“Yes, thank you, James,” Peggy huffed, giving her friend a roll of her eyes. “That love for you grew and I’m only sorry we didn’t act sooner, that we didn’t kiss more or-or risk it to just touch each other in blatant public when we needed the comfort because it was a war. I am sorry that it took this long to get here - but we’re here. Look at us. We’re here, sweetheart. We’re getting married after all in a setting of our choice, with our friends and family. It’s worth the wait.”

“You’re always worth the wait,” Steve whispered, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“I love you,” Peggy whispered, squeezing his hands. “I loved you then, to now, and forevermore. I’ll never stop loving you, no part of my soul will be complete without you. You are my light, Steven Grant Rogers, as I am your compass, your true star north. You are my light and I want nothing more from you than a life that we paved together.”

There was no dry eye around them, even the grisled Colonel was sniffing slightly and wiping at his eyes. He squeezed the book in his hand and gave the couple a warm smile. “Aren’t you two kids sweet? Why don’t we wrap this up so you two can kiss like how you did in the supply closets?”

Steve felt his ears burn, turning back to Peggy and holding her hands. He wasn’t sure how he survived the rest of the ceremony. Of Bucky bringing the rings to them, his ma’s old ring that Howard had cleaned up and engraved with their wedding date on it. Peggy’s father’s wedding band.

He wasn’t sure how he barely got the words I do our before Peggy was jumping on him to kiss him and Steve’s arms found a way around her frame to pick her up and kiss the life out of her.

The wedding they dreamed of and feared that they never had.

A life yet to come with many memories down the road.

[buddiewho]

@pleasehandmethebottle I saw your post. So I cracked my knuckles and give you this; it might be a little more, I don’t know jealous Buck, Eddie and Ana? Or like you know, conceal, don’t feel things on Eddie’s part?? I don’t know, hopefully it’s close enough: 

Buck stumbled to his kitchen, pondering if he should polish of the bottle of wine. "Yeah," he shrugged and chugged the remnants. He stumbled even more back towards his couch, laughing a little bit. Honestly, he had no idea what sparked this urge to drink. Buck never thought he really stress drank, he only ever socially drank and that was mostly beer. With Eddie. With the firefam. With Maddie. Buck scoffed at himself. With Eddie.

"No," he chided out loud. "You're not going to think about him." Buck plopped onto his couch and grabbed the remote. Or so he thought.

"Well, I'm sure that the student understands his vice principal was doing the best she could. We all have to learn, ri-" Eddie's phone rings. "Sorry, give me a second."

"It's fine," Ana waves her hand. "Christopher might be calling." Eddie grins at the notion. She smiles back.

"It's Buck." Her smile fades and she takes a deep breath. Eddie left the last date due to Christopher and Buck, and so she let that slide because it involved his son, but just Buck...for some reason that nagged at her. She couldn't stop him though. Buck was Eddie's best friend, so he explained and after what happened before, Ana didn't want to make any mistakes. That nagging feeling was turning into annoyance because now for a moment there she felt like she was only going to be walking on eggshells this entire relationship.

"And...you've answered it," Ana said, when she finally regained focus and looked at Eddie. "I'm j-just-" Eddie put the phone on mute and laid it the table. Ana stopped.

"Wait, he's just drunk rambling. Let me get him off the phone."

"It's fine," she shook her head. "Go on," she said and picked up the phone for him. Eddie wasn't sure if this was a good thing or if Ana was being a bit passive aggressive. The latter didn't seem to worry him too much, because he couldn't deny the fact that Buck has called him so he took his phone back. Ana left him there.

_

"Buck!" Eddie didn't have to wait for him to come to the door. They exchanged keys very early on. For emergency purposes, Eddie reminded himself, so its not something to question. He found Buck standing in his dining room area, dribbling a basketball.

"Please tell me you weren't thinking of getting that bike off the wall, next."

"Oh, hey Eddie! I'm drunk, and I'm bored out of my mind."

"Have you had a glass of water?" Eddie didn't really let him answer. He walked to the kitchen, found the glass and filled it up. Buck had followed closely behind and didn't complain. He drank the water.

"Can we go to your house? I can't be here anymore."

"Are you bouncing more?" To be honest, Eddie hadn't seen Buck drunk before. He never imagined what it'd be like, but now it just seemed like he was bouncing some more, but with a little stumbling. Eddie reached out to steady Buck by his shoulders. Buck froze now and it made Eddie laugh. "Why do you want to go to my house?"

"We could play games with Christopher?" Buck pointed directly at Eddie's face, "I've got him doing really good at Scrabble ever since you banned us from the Internet a few weeks ago."

"Okay, that break was really only meant for me and Chris, but fine Buck. Unfortunately, Christopher is spending some time with Tia Pepa this weekend. I did want the weekend for me and-"

"Yes! Then it's just me and you," Buck shimmied away from the shoulder grasp that Eddie hadn't let go of. He chased Buck towards the door and slid in front of it before he could leave. "Come on! I don't want to stay at my place right now." Eddie could not tell if Buck was completely unaware that Eddie had been on a date which he was pretty sure he mentioned on the phone or if this was drunk Buck purposely ignoring that fact.

"What's so different about my house?"

"I don't know," Buck rolled his eyes. "It's just...I'm feeling restless here. I wanted to turn on baking shows, but instead I grabbed my phone and called you." Buck swayed on his feet.

"And you did a hell of a job convincing me to come for you instead of chasing after Ana who left our date." Buck merely shrugged at the mention of her and then he yawned. Eddie thought then he could distract him into falling asleep on the couch or something, but the second he moved from the door Buck dove for it. "Are you seriously running to my truck right now?"

"Yes, I am." Buck called out. __

"You came to my house to watch baking shows." Eddie rolled his eyes as he sat next to Buck on the couch. It felt a little odd. Odd probably because he missed Christopher. Eddie shook the feeling.

"Maybe I was feeling alone," Buck was starting to sober up a little bit. Eddie insisted the only thing he drink for the rest of the night was water and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"I'm sorry to hear that Buck," Eddie softly mused. "It's just, you can't ke-" Eddie's hands shot up in the air. "What are you doing, Buck?"

"Laying in your lap. I'm tired," he yawned. Eddie stared forward, the baking show looking out of focus the longer he stared. He really didn't know what to do with his hands which were now clenching into fists. Eddie relaxed them. Don't do it, Edmundo. You're in a relationship so you can't. We're just friends and he's feeling lonely, it fine, right? Don't do it. Eddie kept shaking his head as he thoughts went into overdrive. Screw it. The hands he didn't know what to do with found their task perfectly well. They tangled into Buck's hair, massaging at his temples a little bit. The craziest part is that Buck didn't flinch. Buck accepted it as if this had been something they were doing the whole time. It didn't take long for Buck to fall asleep.

Eddie chuckled. "I guess I'm talking to Ana." That odd feeling stuck with him the rest of the night. _ The next morning, Eddie woke to laughter. Chris had come home early with Tia. There were both standing at the entrance of the living room, enjoying the spectacle. Eddie didn't jostle Buck awake, he just sat there then finally said, "Buck was drunk. It's a whole story."

"Yes, it is," Tia Pepa said with a knowing grin. "You will tell it to me sometime."

Eddie nodded his head, "Yes, Tia Pepa." She smiled as her nephew asked, "So what time is it?"

"It's passed breakfast. Me and Chris had pancakes this morning," Tia told him. "He brought you some." Tia gestured to the takeout box in Chris's hands.

"And Buck is going to eat them," Chris said to them. "There's no way Dad is eating these now..." he laughed.

After some hugs and kisses, Tia Pepa excused herself. That meant it was now time to wake up Buck. Eddie looked down and to his surprise, Buck's blue eyes were wide open, staring up at him. "Did someone say pancakes?" he groggily asked.

"See I told you, Dad." Christopher was now leaning against the arm of the couch. Eddie rubbed his face in his hands. It wasn't an odd feeling he had last night and right now- no, he knew what it was and realizing it was going to change everything.

[anoramactir]

when you wish.

i wrote fic! can you believe it? because i can’t, i literally never finish anything. but it’s kana from @speakergame​‘s birthday today, and there was a small event in the official server.

i rewrote this like.... eighty times because i couldn’t figure out how to go about it, and eventually i settled on mini fills for each prompt that kind of go together. and then i combined prompts 2 & 3 because i couldn’t figure out 2 individually. the end result is something i’m not entirely pleased with, but whatever. love you, kana! <3

PROMPTS TWO & THREE: candles & music.

The day starts, rather inauspiciously, with the blaring of a fire alarm just after sunrise. Just last year, Kana had slept till noon, wandered into the nearest bakery, & purchased the fluffiest red velvet cupcake they’ve ever had. This year  -  spent leaning against the kitchen door as Finn swears at the alarm, Cricket barking furiously at her feet  -  is somehow better. They’ve gone soft, it seems, and Lily will never let them live it down. “Well,” they start, blowing lightly at the yet-smoking pancakes, “I guess I’ve heard worse birthday songs. And the candles are rather creative.”

It’s actually the (generous) truth, but Finn still pouts as she clambers off the counter. “Don’t be mean,” she says, “I was trying to do something nice.” And it was a sweet thought  -  red velvet pancakes, coffee from Greta’s, a tiny present badly hidden behind the fruit bowl. But the best of intentions can’t change facts, and the fact is Fiona Demir can barely be trusted to boil water. Kana’s not any better themself, admittedly, but at least they can admit their weaknesses.

“It would have been nicer to let me sleep.” Despite the chiding words, there’s only fond laughter in Kana’s voice, and Finn’s ire visibly eases.

“Next year,” she promises. Rising to her tiptoes, she tries to press a kiss to Kana’s cheek. Instead, Kana turns to meet her mouth with their own, and the both of them are smiling by the time they pull apart. “Happy birthday, by the way,” Finn says, slightly out of breath, “I meant to say it first thing, but... like I said, I’ll do better next year.”

It sends a thrill through Kana, the easy way she says it. Next year, as if it’s a given. As if Kana’s place is in Finn’s home, in her bed, in her life, and that will never change. Perhaps that should scare them, after so much uncertainty. Precious few things in their life have proven permanent. It is frightening, a little. But today is their birthday, and they refuse to spend it worrying. “I'll hold you to that,” they tease. “Now- what exactly are we going to do about breakfast?”

Finn eyes the charred remains of her pancakes, apparently judging them inedible. (Thank the gods for that. Kana would have forced them down, but they weren’t looking forward to it.) “The drow next door wanted opinions on her 4th of July menu. How do you feel about taste-testing?”

“Lead the way, sweetheart.”

PROMPT ONE: balloons.

“That is a terrible idea.” It should be a protest, but Lily sounds almost eager, delighted at watching disaster unfold. But in all fairness, none of them have tried to stop Rory. Sebastian seems to think it’d be hopeless, Azalea is too shy, and Kana... Kana has a pretty girl in their lap, and that’s much more interesting than a helium tank and some balloons.

It had been a lovely party, but by now most of the guests have filtered out (their ribs still ache from Ana Leighton’s goodbye hug) and only the usual suspects remain. Kana can see their own contentment reflected on Finn’s face, an easy sort of joy from giving them a good day. They can’t help it. They kiss her. The taste of buttercream icing still lingers in Finn’s mouth, and Kana presses closer without concious thought. The chatter fades into the background, everything hazy and almost dreamlike, and-

POP!

Finn topples to the side, and nearly takes Kana down with her. They just barely catch themselves, blinking dazedly at the bits of plastic raining across the room. “Roderick Kane.”

“It’s not my fault!” But even he doesn’t seem to believe it. There’s no shame on his face, though, just a stifled grin. “Shit, that was the mermaid balloon. Do you think that’s bad luck for you?”

Maggie scoffs. “Don’t be so superstitious,” she says, which seems a tad hypocritical coming from the psychic. "It just means we need to keep you away from anything breakable. Also, you’re cleaning this up.”  

Deciding to leave them to it, Kana turns back to Finn. She’s already climbing off the floor, seemingly more amused than anything. Still, they reach out to check.  “Sweetheart, are you alright?”

“I’m in unspeakable pain and will need a gorgeous nurse,” she cheerfully replies, which roughly translates into I’m fine, just obnoxious. Kana rolls their eyes, but can’t quite hide a smile. Finn, sensing weakness, pounces. Her puppy dog eyes really are unfairly cute. Cricket can hardly compare.

“Isn’t that Lily’s job? I don’t want to put her out of work.”

Yet Finn is - unsurprisingly - undeterred. “But Bas will be jealous! Besides, the doctor specifically said it had to be a siren.”

It’s a hopeless fight. They give in. Wrapping their hands around Finn’s waist, Kana pulls her back into their lap.  “Well,” they muse, “then I guess I have to care for you.” They brush their fingers lightly against Finn’s temple, against the beginnings of a faint bruise.

Something must show in their expression- some dangerous affection, because Finn’s teasing fades into something soft. “You take care of me,” she says quietly,  “and I’ll take care of you.”

PROMPT FOUR: gifts.

It’s earlier than Kana usually sleeps, but they’re exhausted all the same. A good sort of exhaustion, though, the kind that only comes from a day spent well. They’re wrapping their hair up, humming idly to themselves, when Finn pads into the room. There’s a wrapped box in her hand, apprehension in her face, and Kana raises an eyebrow in surprise.  “You already gave me concert tickets, remember?”

Finn shakes her head as she takes a seat, saying, “Those were from Maggie and me. This is... Maggie agreed to it, but it’s really from me.” At last she hands it over, and Kana tracks the way she fiddles with her bracelet, the way she can’t quite meet their eyes. They could ask, but it’ll be faster to just open the present.

Their breath catches. “...A key?”

“To the house,” she answers, almost before Kana has finished their question. “I know we never lock the door anyway, and you’re already here most of the time, but- it’s symbolic, I guess. I’m asking you to stay.”

Kana hadn’t needed the clarification (there’s only so many ways to interpret a key) but they almost ask Finn to repeat herself, anyway. They’d known they were wanted here, truly. A designated seat at the kitchen table, their name on the chore wheel, their favorite CDs stored in the car. Their welcome has never been in doubt. 

‘I’m asking you to stay.’ Somehow, it’s different hearing it out loud.

“I love you.”

It’s not an answer, not really. But from the way Finn beams, maybe it’s as good as. “Good,” she says, “because next year, I’ll probably get you a ring.”

[minniewoos]

Amortentia ➣ Hwang Hyunjin Pt.2

Genre: hogwarts au, slytherin!Hyunjin, fluff, angst, bestfriend!Seungmin

Pairing: hyunjin x reader

Word Count: 18,459

Summary: As you grow closer to Hyunjin, you find yourself unable to think about much else. And Hyunjin, strangely, is the same way.

part 1 ➣part 2➣part 3

The chatter of people around you filled the air as you sipped happily on your butterbeer. The warmth of the soothing drink mellowed you out. Hogsmeade was as bustling as ever and even though it was snowy, the sun shone the brightest it has since you arrived. The town was filled with Hogwarts students, since it was a day all students over their third year got to go to town. You were situated comfortably at a table. But you did tug your coat on further as the door to the tavern opened. ultimately letting a gust of cold air into the otherwise warm room. The breeze died down quickly as the door shut, but the chill remained in the air for a moment.

“Can I have a piece of gum?”

You pulled out your pack of gum and just tossed it to him, a smile playing on your lips, “Just keep it, you ask for it so often it's basically yours.”

Hyunjin smiled triumphantly as he popped a piece of mint gum into his mouth, then slid a piece over to you. Which you took gratefully for after you finish your butterbeer.

“So why do you insist you only take my gum?” You asked after taking another sip of butterbeer.

Hyunjin glanced up at you before tucking the pack of gum into his pocket, a smile tugged on his lips. He shrugged, “I like it better.”

“You have a mustache,” He snickered and reached out to wipe the supposed butterbeer mustache off your lips. You blushed, not only out of embarrassment but also out of the closeness as he leaned in. Your hand pushed on his chest and you rolled your eyes, then wiped the rest off yourself with your forearm.

Without the throng of people filling the the Three Broomsticks, you would’ve welcomed the intimacy. But there were too many eyes and not enough space, it felt too crowded for you as even more people entered the tavern. Cold air hit your cheeks once more until the door shut, your cheeks were probably hued pink due to the chill. 

You eyed Hyunjin's empty butterbeer mug and figured he was waiting on you to finish yours to leave and explore the town. So you silently sipped the butterbeer while you watched the patrons filling the Three Broomsticks. Plenty of Hogwarts students were splayed across the tavern, it was popular amongst the school. You spotted Han Jisung leaving, he ducked his head down as he maneuvered through the crowd to reach the exit. He was accompanied by a couple others. You recognized one as Lee Felix, a cheerful Hufflepuff in your year, he always seemed to brighten the mood. The other one accompanying him was Lee Minho, he was a Slytherin that graduated last year, you remembered he and Jisung being really good friends when he still attended Hogwarts. It kind of made you happy that they were still in touch. While passing by, Minho noticed Hyunjin and stopped by your table.

“Hyunjin! How’ve you been?” Minho smiled. He waved his hand at Jisung and Felix to keep going, “I’ll catch up to you guys later.”

Hyunjin leaned back and smiled, “It’s been a while, I thought you were moving away to become famous.”

“I’m on that path already, I got chosen to dance for a muggle broadcast, you wouldn’t know. But I can tell you it’s a big deal for somebody new like me.” Minho smiled proudly, his hard work paying off. If you remember right, Minho is a half-blood, and had a keen interest in muggle dance and arts.

You leaned forward in interest, “Which broadcast?? I might know.”

“I’m going to be a back up dancer for this big boy group, but listen, I’ll be at the front one day.” Minho crossed his arms and his eyebrows perked up, clearly determined. He then nudged Hyunjin with his elbow, “I thought you weren’t interested in dates?”

Hyunjin raised a hand leisurely, “We aren’t dating.”

You shook your head in agreement, then you introduced yourself, “We’re friends, I’m y/n.”

“So you’re Hyunjin's type,” Minho teased, an evil glint in his eyes. “Hyunjin was never interested in any of the girls I pointed out, I began to think he swung the other way.”

Hyunjin coughed unexpectedly and he panicked for a moment, caught off guard by Minho's words. He hit his chest a couple times before glaring at Minho and whacking him on the side, “Ah stop with that, you’re annoying.”

And an exuberant laugh bubbled up from Minho, then teased one last time, “Fine fine, enjoy the date.”

Minho patted Hyunjin's back before leaving, your eyebrows were raised curiously. You looked at Hyunjin, “He’s quite the character, now isn’t he.”

“Oh he’s something alright.” Hyunjin huffed, his nose scrunched is irritation. But then a smile played on his face. “Spend five years with him and you learn some things.”

“Like what?”

“How to be annoying.”

You giggled before finishing your butterbeer. Sighing contently as you set it down, the glass thudding on the wood table. You stretched your legs out under the table and prepared to leave. Hyunjin also began gathering his belongings up. He also took the opportunity to plop another piece of gum into his mouth. You sent him a weird look.

“Didn’t you just have one?”

“Ahm...I may have choked that down.” Hyunjin laughed timidly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. Amused, you shook your head at him. The two of you were about to get up when a girl approached you both, her hands were clasped together in front of her and she smiled at Hyunjin. She bounced on the balls of her feet and giggled shyly. She was pretty and had her hair done nicely, curled in a precise way.

“Hi Hyunjin. I’m Ana” The girl was a little younger, you recognized her as a Gryffindor in her fourth year. She was perky and kind, if not a bit of a trouble maker. Other than that, you didn’t know much about her. You tilted your head, wondering what she wanted. But you had a feeling you knew where this was going.

Hyunjin nodded at her politely and stuffed the pack of gum back into his pocket. He was pulling his jacket on to leave, his eyes looked blank and unconcerned. You stood up, as soon as you saw the look on Hyunjin's face, you knew how this would turn out. Waiting patiently, you pulled some money out to leave on the table and a little extra tip as well.

“I was wondering if you wanted to walk around a bit,” she side-eyed you, “alone. There’s this new place in-”

Hyunjin stood up and fixed his jacket out, straightening the creases while she was talking. He looked down at the girl and sent her a stiff smile, “I’m already busy today, sorry.”

She took a step closer to him, insistent, “Then another day? Maybe next week, we could go on a date, it doesn’t even have to be in Hogsmeade.”

There was a telling breeze in the air as Hyunjin’s lips twitched down slightly, the icy air matching Hyunjin’s expression at that moment. He dropped the polite act quickly as he eyed her up and down, “I’m not interested in the slightest, so please leave us alone. I’m be spending the day with y/n.”

That seemed to poke a flame in her since her eyes quickly grew fiery. Her hands, which were previously tucked in front of her politely, were now clenched in fists at her sides. “What do you mean? I was only asking, besides you’re not even dating her.”

Ana sent you daggers and grew bitter, her delicate hands looked strained from the fists she made, “I don’t see what’s special about her anyway, don’t you want somebody more fun to hang out with. I could actually give you a good time.”

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows, looking down at the small girl as his chin raised up. He smirked, “Just because I’m not dating her doesn’t mean I’m not interested in her. Now does it?”

“You said you were just friends!” She huffed in frustration while your eyebrows raised in surprise at his words. You would have to bring his comment up later when you got the chance.

“Oh now you’re eavesdropping?” Hyunjin mused, he smiled coyly and patted her head, then sighed, “Let’s go y/n.”

The two of you walked out on the girl, leaving her fuming and rejected. You thought Hyunjin's reaction was a bit much, but she was rude anyway so you let the whole thing go. Footprints were left in the snow behind you as you walked side by side with Hyunjin, wondering where to go next in the nice village. People crowded the streets while shopping for the holidays, there were festive candles strung up in the trees as well, they emitted a warming yellow glow. You two passed by Zonko’s as loud music blared out from the joke shop and laughter erupted from the inside. The chatter and laughter of people just having fun filled the air around you, making the atmosphere of the town quite pleasant and cheerful. But the interaction with the fourth year girl was still on your mind, it was a little amusing to you. And you weren’t about to pass up an opportunity to tease Hyunjin. 

“You’re popular, now aren’t you?” You bumped Hyunjin with your shoulder and teased him, “And that girls a firecracker isn’t she? Why don’t you go on a date with her.”

“No thanks, she’s young and would probably bite my head off. I’ll pass…” Hyunjin shivered at the thought, his nose scrunching up. Then a solemn look grew. “I’m not a big fan of what she said about you anyway.”

“Ah don’t worry about that, just jealousy talking, and like you said, she’s young.” You waved it off, not bothered much by the girl, “I wouldn’t worry about her.”

Hyunjin nodded, “Yea, I didn’t want anything else nasty coming from her so I thought it was best to leave. Girls like her...they only ever seemed to care about how I look anyway.”

“Hm..” You hummed thoughtfully, then tilted your head up to look at Hyunjin yourself. Your eyes tracing his pretty features, “Well, I guess you don’t have to worry about being ugly.”

“Yeah but...I’m sure if they got to know me they wouldn’t be as enthusiastic.” Hyunjin grimaced as the thought.

A frown settled on your face, you knew what he was talking about and it upset you that he thinks so lowly of himself because of it. The two of you hadn’t talked about it much after he first sat you down and explained it to you, why he couldn’t love. Well, you guys hadn’t talked about the kiss either, and you were dying to know what he meant in that kiss, what he wanted and why. You found Hyunjin was difficult to read at first, but in the time you’ve spent with him, you discovered it wasn’t as hard as you initially thought. Hyunjin was just, thoughtful. So you weren’t usually bothered as much by his ‘mysterious’ persona. But your bones itched to talk about what happened that day in the potions room, the kiss and the intimacy you’ve shared since then. Ever since that day, you and Hyunjin became incredibly close, subtly flirting as well. He even seemed a lot more cheerful these days and if you were the cause for that then you were incredibly grateful.

Despite all of that, you hadn’t kissed again or even spoken about it. The curiosity was killing you. You tugged on his arm to go off the beaten path, dying to know what all of this meant. And to do that, the two of you needed some privacy.

“Oh, where are we going now?” Hyunjin mused as you pulled him through the snow. His arm limp as he allowed you to lead the way.

“Just somewhere where there are fewer people...it’s really crowded today.”

You ultimately lead him to a little clearing that overlooked the abandoned shrieking shack. There was an old fence that blocked off the cliff over the shack and a patch of woods behind you. You could hear the distant chatter of the town, but as far as you could tell, the two of you were alone. You looked around satisfied and plopped yourself in the snow, eyes focused on the shrieking shack. Hyunjin sat himself down next to you, cross-legged and looking at you with a smile.

You laughed, “What's that look for?”

Hyunjin was just smiling as he looked at you, his eyes turned to little crescents. He shrugged and his lower lip jutted out childishly, his eyes playful. “What look?”

“That,” You made a gesture towards his general face, giggling, “that smile. What's it for?”

“People smile when they’re happy. I’m happy.” He explained simply, hands raised at his side. You grinned back as your heart warmed in your chest, just being with this goofball made you happy.

“So...I make you happy?”

“Of course you do.” Hyunjin eyed you, not sure where you were taking this.

You hummed in response, then your eyes cast downwards. You suddenly got nervous as your tongue didn’t seem to want to form words. The heat from your coat was starting to get uncomfortable, even as you sat in the snow. Hyunjin noticed this. Unsure on how to even bring up the topic without feeling weird about it, you were worried. Hyunjin couldn’t feel love, you knew this, and yet that spark of hope was still blooming in your chest. Curse your feelings.

“I wanted to,” You let a drawn out pause fill the air, attempting to collect your mangled thoughts into a coherent sentence. Hyunjin waited patiently. Lips parted, eyes still cast downwards, you began again. “I wanted to talk about...about what our relationship is.”

Hyunjin's eyes lit up, he knew where this was going now. But he was avoiding this exact conversation this whole time, he shifted. A weird feeling bothered him and he felt conflicted. He licked his lips dryly, “What about it?”

“Well,” You hesitated again, combing through your thoughts. But you felt as though the best way was the honest way. So to avoid dancing around the subject, you decide to say it outright, albeit with some shakiness to your voice. “I know you know this, but, I’ve fallen for you, Hyunjin. And I really really like you. Like, shit, I love spending time with you and just being around you. But you’re...sending mixed signals. I know you can’t feel love, you know I know that. So why are you, why are you acting like you feel the same way as me…?”

As you just let your feelings spill out, you suddenly felt insecure. You weren’t exaggerating or being arrogant when you say Hyunjin's been flirty. There would be times where he would do something out of the blue, and it would remind you of how a boyfriend should act. It caught you off guard as well as confused you. You caught him looking at you often, just like earlier. He also did little actions that would cause you to blush, the small intimate moments. And while you welcomed how close the two of you have gotten recently, your hearts been in turmoil ever since. You haven’t even begun to talk about the kiss yet.

Hyunjin was frozen though, his knees were pulled up to his chest and he stared at the snow beneath his feet. He was thinking as well, you saw the gears in his head turning as he tried to comb through his own thoughts. It was silent for a while as your question was left to hang over the two of you like a cloud. You shook your head.

“And Hyunjin...the kiss? What was that about? We never talked about it, and I really think we should. We shared something that day...we shouldn’t ignore it.” You rambled on, your incoherent thoughts voicing themselves. But then you doubted your words, shaking your head again, “No, maybe I’m just delusional, maybe I’m just hoping too much. Maybe I just think we, we shared something nice. At one point I wondered if you were just playing with me.”

A feeling of warmth wrapped around your cold hands. Hyunjin grabbed onto your hand and finally looked up from the ground. His gaze caught yours as he subtly shook his head, gentle words leaving his lips. Soft spoken, for only your ears. “No...no, we do. I’m just trying to express how grateful I am to you the best way I can…”

Hyunjin was slowly getting closer, he was leaning down again, about to steal another kiss from your lips. And you were defenseless to stop him, you knew where this would lead but couldn’t find it in you to stop him. If anything, you leaned in as well, wanting him to kiss you. You wanted him to comfort you, give you that closeness you felt that day in the potions room. You wanted him to reassure you that he felt the same, despite you knowing it was impossible. So as his lips met yours, you accepted it fully. A weight was temporarily lifted from your shoulders as you leaned into him, your free hand resting on his chest. His hands still holding yours sweetly. The kiss was gentle, soft, a little hesitant.

And when you both pulled away, you leaned onto his shoulder, resting your head in the crook of his neck. There was silence for a long time, and it was just the two of you on a small overlook. While you played with his fingers, you could tell Hyunjin wanted to talk but something was stopping him. It was only when you prodded him to speak, he let you know what he was thinking.

Hyunjin’s eyes were downcast, then flicked up hesitantly, “I want you to use the Amortentia on me.”

Your head snapped up, your eyes trained on him for any signs of joking. But his face was blank, no signs of a small smile or his crescent eyes. Instead, they looked sad.

“Hyunjin, why, you know that that's not a solution.”

“I know but, y/n, I want you to know I want to love you. I like you, I trust you, I want to reciprocate your feelings. But I can’t. I was born under a love potion. I can’t love you, it’s physically impossible. At least, not how you love me.” Hyunjin snapped, his words had a bite to them. But his voice softened as he saw your sad eyes staring up at him. “It’s the closest I could get to feeling love, I don’t want to feel cold like this anymore.”

You shook your head sternly, “No, Hyunjin, I won’t do it. I refuse.”

“Please y/n I-”

“Absolutely not, we will find another way, I promise you.”

Hyunjin looked unsure.

“I want to help you, we’ll figure it out.”

“Okay, I trust you.”

You placed a soft kiss on his cheek, and he smiled.

∎∎∎

It felt like there was a rock settling in your stomach. Discontented, you looked down at the finished Amortentia. It looked perfect, it regained its pearly sheen. The smoky wisps floated through the air delicately, and the light blue swirled around its base. This was the final session you had with Hyunjin, the project was finished now and you should really be jumping for joy, but you felt just about doing the opposite at that moment.

“Did something go wrong?” Hyunjin stood up from his seat after he noticed your conflicted expression, walking over to you to glance into the potion, “Is it not done? It should be perfect, I haven’t touched it at all.”

You shook your head, the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach slowly growing as tears began to well up. You weren’t sure why this made you cry, or why this was even happening. You gulped and rubbed your arm awkwardly, trying to steady your breathing. But Hyunjin quickly took notice of your state and gently pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head into his chest, confused about how you should feel, “I don’t know.”

“Yes you do, take your time, but please tell me.” He frowned, worried about your sudden change in attitude. Earlier you were ecstatic to finally finish this project, and you were especially content that it went so well. But now as you stood in front of it, something happened.

Something about your mixed and confused emotions lead to your teary state, but the catalyst was what set you off. Just after finishing the Amortentia, you could smell the potent potion right away. But something was missing, and it was Seungmin’s jasmine tea scent. It was replaced by a clear mint smell, which was undoubtedly supposed to be Hyunjin's. You felt conflicted most of all, as well as saddened by the distance you put between yourself and Seungmin. Were you supposed to be happy? You loved Hyunjin, and the minty smell only confirmed it. But a small voice nagged at you, he wouldn’ t love you back.

“I don’t smell jasmine anymore…” You mumbled into his chest.

“Hm?” Hyunjin hummed, rubbing your back sweetly, his chin resting on you, “What’s that mean..?”

“The jasmine...the jasmine was Seungmin’s jasmine tea. I smelled it that day in class when we were learning about Amortentia. Remember?” You pressed your cheek onto his chest as you leaned into him, your frown prominent as you tried to sort through your conflicted feelings. “I don’t smell it anymore.”

Hyunjin remembered, he was particularly catty that day due to the nature of the lesson. It only reminded him of how different he was, how he had one less thing than everyone else that made people human. And when he went up to smell the Amortentia, he smelled nothing, not even a vague whiff. His hopes dropped significantly that day, and he was actively avoiding trying to smell the Amortentia the two of you brewed. His hands rested on your waist, “Old books, oranges, and jasmine; I do remember that...what do you smell now?”

What people smelled in the potion particularly interested him, mostly due to the fact he wanted to be able to love. In the past weeks he’s spent with you, he noticed your love for the things you smelled in the potions; your love for books as you read and your fondness for the oranges you ate often. Even weeks later he remembered what you smelled in the potion because your words stuck with him. He wasn’t sure why.

You wouldn’t answer him for a while, but Hyunjin already knew what you were going to say. He had a feeling it was his fault, he was the reason you lost that scent. Well, more like he hoped for it. He hoped you would smell something that reminded you of him. He really wanted that.

You said something, but it was so faint and muffled that he couldn’t catch. But before he asked you to repeat it, you said it again yourself.

“Mint. I smell mint.” Your arms hugged him tighter.

The hands around your waist tightened their grip as Hyunjin felt his heart skip a beat, he couldn’t form words. It wasn’t love but it was something. He felt something. And he clung to that feeling for as long as he could, not wanting to let go of you. Or maybe it was love? An odd pride bubbled up in him and despite your conflict, he was happy. A twinge of guilt passed through him.

“I’m sorry but...I feel oddly proud of that.” Hyunjin muttered, bringing his hands up to your face. You leaned into his touch, comforted by the warmth he provided you. “I don’t want you hurting.”

“Now, I’m not an expert at love, I think that’s clear.” Hyunjin continued, and you smiled at the comment, “But, I think I know enough to know that just because you don’t smell the jasmine, doesn't mean you don’t love and care for him. He’s been your best friend for years, you can’t lose a relationship like that so easily. And maybe, maybe when you smelled jasmine before it was just a platonic love. Maybe it’s always been platonic, I remember you’ve told me you felt conflicted about those feelings. Don’t force yourself to feel something just because you think you have to.”

Oh how ironic those words were coming from Hyunjin, but you saw his point. And as you contemplated his words you were thinking that he was right. And hearing it out loud calmed your nerves. You let out a sigh, not completely okay and shaky, but better.

You nodded into his chest and mumbled something. Small and insignificant, maybe they were just words to him. Maybe he wouldn't see much significance to the words that meant the world to you. But you said them anyway.

"Hyunjin...I love you."

"Hm? What was that?" Hyunjin bent down, not quite catching your little words. his ear turned towards you. His eyes turned up curiously. The little action stopped your heart for a moment, you heard the beat in your ears and felt the thumping in your chest. Your eyes flickered to his plump lips parted ever so slightly. He was so close but, not.

You simply tightened your hold around him, "Nothing, I was just saying thank you."

Hyunjin pulled away and held your shoulders in his hands, he had a stern look on his face as he prompted you to look at him. “Y/n, I know you feel conflicted and confused. But, don’t force yourself into anything, you can’t help how you feel.”

You nodded and felt like a child in that moment. Teary, sniffly, and pouty. Your thoughts were choppy and words didn’t come easily. After a moment you brought a hand up to wipe your tears away, not wanting them to spill over. “Thank you, I don’t know why I’m crying. I-I didn’t think I’d be so upset. Even...even though I knew already.”

“Knew what?” He asked kindly.

You sniffled before smiling at him cheekily, “That you stole my heart.”

Hyunjin looked at you blankly before cracking up, it started with a small smile until his giggles became uncontrollable, “You’re so lame.”

The atmosphere suddenly became much more light hearted, and your smile widened, “You like it, don’t lie to me.”

“Yea, you’re right. Because even though you’re lame, you're my lame...uh.” Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows, his words not quite working right. You laughed at him, seeing what he tried to do but failing miserably at the attempt at being cheesy. Even Hyunjin hung his head as he chuckled at himself.

“You’re lame too!” You hit his chest lightly, “You were trying to be cheesy huh?”

And Hyunjin nodded in defeat, a smile on his face. The two of you messed around some more, being goofballs and idiots after your heavy angst moment. While cleaning up, it seemed like everything was back to normal. But you couldn’t quite shake that weird feeling off, the feeling of guilt maybe. Even though you were past the initial shock, Seungmin still hung around in your mind, you felt bad about the distance you put between you two. While tears threatened to come up again you quickly shook it off, deciding to talk to him later tonight to apologize. He was still your best friend and wanted to make it up to him. You hummed contently, a smile played on your lips as you thought about bringing him a few oranges to eat while you talked. Seungmin was reasonable, you were sure you wouldn’t have a problem.

While you were in the supply closet putting ingredients away, Hyunjin was left alone in the room. And when he realized that, his eyes traveled to the Amortentia. From across the room he contemplated going over to test it, to see if anything changed about what he smelled. It would be a fruitless effort, Hyunjin always knew that, but every time he was hopeful that he would smell something. Anything. He gulped as curiosity got the better of him and he reluctantly moved to the cauldron. He stood in front of it for a brief moment before he leaned over to take a whiff and he expected nothing. He didn’t smell anything.

Not at first.

Only a moment before he was going to give up, something faint drifted up from the potion. And Hyunjin thought he was going crazy.

He took a sharp breath and stepped back, bewildered and confused. Tentatively, he tried again, and he still smelled the faint scent. It was hard to pinpoint but it was clearly there. Despite his hopes shooting up, he tried to suppress them for now, scared of being disappointed again. His palms were sweaty.

“There’s no way…” he stood in front of the cauldron for another minute when he finally got a good grasp on the smell. And the joy he felt was indescribable as he recognized the cool minty scent coming from the potion. In disbelief, a smile broke out and he jumped up shouting joyously, “There’s no way!”

A tense thought came to him, and he quickly patted himself down, trying to locate any packs of gum on him. But when he found none he relaxed and celebrated again, spinning and shouting and jumping for joy. He was definitely smelling Amortentia.

When you walked back into the classroom to find your partner jumping around like crazy, you had to laugh.

"What's this all about!?" You shouted over his cheering. His rambunctious mood was infectious and you almost wanted to jump around with him.

Hyunjin whipped around upon hearing your voice. A toothy, childish grin spread wide. He threw his arms up in the air, "Y/N!! You won't believe it!"

"Hyunjin!" You copied his wild movements, confused and incredibly curious. "What what what??"

He pointed both hands erratically at the cauldron situation at the top of the desk. "I smelled it!! Y/n, I-I smelled something. It was faint and I might be going crazy but, but, it was there..!”

Even from across the room you saw the fanatical look in his eyes, his smile leading up to bright crescent eyes. And it was contagious. First, a giggle slipped out from your lips, then a smile broke out. A wide, joyous, cheek-aching smile.

“Y-you did!! That's...that's impossible, oh Hyunjin I’m so happy for you!” You exclaimed, excitement bubbling up. Then Hyunjin rushed over to you, wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around.

“It was mint!” Hyunjin gulped, chest heaving but the smile never left his face. His eyes searched yours, and your reaction didn’t disappoint. Your eyes softened and you reached up to pepper his face with kisses. Laughter filled the space, and you found the highlight of your year at this moment.

Between the giggles and disbelief, the atmosphere calmed down but the jovial mood carried on. Hyunjin sniffed, and you looked up to find him with tears brimming his eyes, a shaky smile played on his lips. “I...I can say I love something.”

He breathed deeply before continuing to speak, “For the first time ever...in my life, I can say, truly y/n, I love you.”

As he finished his thought, the tears spilled and he sobbed with shaky shoulders. But his smile still shone through and his hands tightened. Tears coming to your own eyes, you wiped his tears from his face and nodded. “I love you too, Hyunjin.”

He leaned down to sob into your shoulder, the tears wetting your robes but you were too excited to care. You stroked his hair gently, allowing him to release all that was pent up within him as he continued to weep with joy. Before long, you felt your cheeks becoming soaked with your own tears slipping through, and you cried with him. Your mind was running a hundred miles an hour at how this was possible, your joy for Hyunjin, and now the life you could have with this wonderful boy. In the past, you’ve heard many stories about the power of love and how strong it was. But it was this moment where you sincerely believed in what the power of love could do. And you decided that Hyunjin was worth everything.

“I’m so happy for you Hyunjin, love comes softly.”

Time was lost to the both of you and you weren’t sure how long it was until it was time to leave. But you left that room with the most satisfying feeling ever as Hyunjin left you with a sweet kiss. You each also took a vial of Amortentia with you, for safe keeping and to maybe take a whiff whenever you were feeling down. Hyunjin was incredibly adamant about taking it with him as well, which you couldn’t deny him when he kept smiling as he held the potion up to his nose. So the two of you left with a vial each and each other in your thoughts. As you strolled up to the Ravenclaw tower with lovestruck eyes, Hyunjin did the same as he made his way to Slytherin dungeons.

After solving the riddle to the common room, you stepped inside and sighed happily at the homey feeling. You even spotted Seungmin in one of the armchairs, reading something.

“Seungmin, hi!”

He looked up from his book briefly before turning his attention back to his reading. Rolling your eyes, you approached him and leaned on the back of the chair and looked over his shoulder. “Don’t be a grouch, it's late, we should get some sleep.”

Still no response from him. Seungmin was reading a potions textbook, and you pursed your lips, confused. Your hand stretched out over his shoulder and pointed to the page, “Hey...this lesson was weeks ago. Why are you looking over it again?”

With furrowed eyebrows, you saw he was reading the lesson on Amortentia, and nudged him gently. Speaking softly, “Hey, if you need help with this lesson don’t hesitate to ask me. I was working on this with Hyunjin so I could help. We actually finished it recently and it turned out pretty great! I know I haven’t been hanging out with you as much, but still, you can come to me...”

Seungmin suddenly snapped the textbook shut and sat up straight, he breathed in slowly before he spoke, “I think we need to talk about something, y/n.”

In an instant, you grew worried as Seungmin stood up to face you. He had a stern look on his face, much sterner than usual and lacking the friendly nature to him. You knew this face and you knew he was very serious, upset, and angry. For some reason your eyes looked towards the ground, avoiding his gaze. “Seungmin...what’s it about..? Look, I’m sorry I’ve been a little distant, I actually want to fix tha-”

“It’s not about that.” He snapped, and you looked at him in surprise. Your friend was normally so level headed. “It’s about your deceptive little snake of a boyfriend.”

His words leaked venom, and you stepped away. Taken aback by the uncharacteristic harshness, while Seungmin may have been sarcastic at times he was never so stringent with you before. You gulped as you struggled to form any words to say, hurt by his cold attitude with you.

“Speechless huh?” Seungmin laughed sardonically and shook his head at you. “You’re always so irresponsible and oblivious to things around you. It was okay when you were just daydreaming in class or stalling your work, but now you’ve really done it. I thought you were smarter than this y/n. You may be book smart but your common sense is nonexistent, and this just proves it.”

While you listened to his words, you were dumbstruck and lost. “Seungmin, I’m not sure what you’re...talking about.”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said your snake of a boyfriend.” He sighed, impatient with you. “I can’t believe I have to spell it out for you. But I guess I can’t help that you’re being deceived.”

“Deceived? No no, please tell me what’s going on.” The previous joy you felt left you as you attempted to reconcile with Seungmin, but you’ve never seen him so pissed off at you before. “Did Hyunjin do something or, or what?”

“Did Hyunjin do something…” Seungmin repeated, “No, you just decided to be dumb enough to fall for whatever lies he’s feeding you.”

You frowned and suddenly got defensive. It was okay to be passive when he was irritated with you, but you opted to stand up for Hyunjin. “He hasn’t fed me any damn lies, I don’t know what you’re thinking but Hyunjin's actually a very genuine person so what would you know.”

“I just don’t see how the hell you could fall for somebody who can’t even love you back.” He hissed, taking a step towards you. “Do you know what that does to people? How twisted it makes them in the absence of love?”

Your jaw dropped and you gasped, “How do you know that?”

Desperately, you searched for something in Seungmins eyes that would tell you something, anything. It was a while of silence, and you spent that time fuming, contemplating, and with an aching heart. You had no idea how Seungmin had known about Hyunjin’s secret, and it infuriated you that he could think of Hyunjin as twisted and deceptive.

“It doesn’t matter how I know, it matters that you know that too and continue to follow his heels like a lost puppy. Y/n I don’t want to see you go down a dark path, but do you know who else was conceived under a love potion?”

“Don’t you dare say it-”

“Voldemort.” He was testing your patience, and he kept speaking still, “And you know, I'm sure you’ve heard... When he was still known as Tom Riddle, he was just as charming, attractive, and likable as Hyunjin is. But he was never close to anybody, and you know wh-”

“Shut it!” You shoved him back, already knowing what he was going to say. “Shut it! I don’t want to hear it, but you know what Seungmin, you haven’t spent so much time with him. You haven’t heard him speak, heard his feelings out. You don’t know what he goes through. And you know what? I’m disappointed in you. You are usually so understanding and-and patient and pleasant. But now you’re acting just like the snake you’re describing.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve been more understanding like you said.” Seungmin stared at you for a few long moments, he was analyzing you, and he calmed down a bit. As he took a deep, long breath you thought he was going to try to listen to you. But instead you only heard bullshit come out, “Listen, I was just reading about it, you saw. But I believe you’re under Amortentia, or some kind of love potion. It really would explain everything. You’ve only been hanging out with him lately, you talk about him so much, and you’re being very defensive right now. Those are signs of obsession, if you let me, I can help out okay?”

“You...you think he has me under a spell? You know nothing.” You spat, absolutely fuming, and continued to speak. “How do you know he can’t feel love, if anything I believe he’s felt it. He’s told me-”

“Lies, He’s told you lies.” Seungmin interrupted, and took a step forward, holding his hands up in defense. “And I don’t want you falling for them any longer.”

“Why are you pinning him as evil? I can’t believe you.” You seethed, “He’s not some twisted and cruel villain like you believe him to be. He is a person, a person with emotions and thoughts and feelings. You’re not even listening to me.”

“You’re not listening to me.” He retorted, then ran a hand through his hair. “Please...I want to help you.”

“I don’t need any help. If you’re going to keep pushing this, then just leave me alone.” You jeered and began to make your way to the girls’ dormitories. A good mood ultimately ruined.

“Think about it y/n!” Seungmin called after you, but you just stomped up the stairs stubbornly.

As you trod into your dorm, one of your roommates was up and studying. She glanced at you before sitting up straight and stretching her back out. “Welcome, you’re back late.”

You forced a tight lipped smile and collapsed onto your bed, visibly exhausted and upset. “Seoyeon, I just feel awful right now.”

“I heard you and Seungmin from up here, not all of it, but it sounded serious.” Seoyeon frowned and leaned on the back of her chair to look at you. Her eyes up in worry, talking gently.

You lifted your head to look at her, and you sighed. In your mind, she was being pitiful of you and your situation. And that was probably the last thing you wanted. You’ve known Seoyeon since your first year, you were her roommate for years along with a couple other girls. There weren’t any big problems you had with any of them, and of course there was some bickering. But the look Seoyeon was giving you right now, you saw pity and distress. You’ve known her long enough to know what that look means, and what she’s probably thinking right now.

She agreed with Seungmin.

Shaking your head, you just pulled the covers up over you as you felt a headache coming on. You had no idea how many people were thinking exactly what Seungmin was, and you almost didn’t want to know.

“Seoyeon, how many people know?” You mumbled quietly, an odd sense of vulnerability in your tone.

She didn’t answer you after a long stretch of silence in the room. But a few moments passed before you heard the click of the lamp and the room fell into darkness. “Goodnight y/n.”

∎∎∎

Turns out, the whole school knew.

The next day you sat with Soyeon in the Great Hall, sleep didn’t come easy for you that night and it showed. You were pale, your eyes were tired, and the exhausted frown never left your face. As you picked at your breakfast, you felt self-conscious. Eyes looked at you in quick glances, you felt them as they would stare at you for a moment before looking away quickly. Gossip spread quickly in this school, and you hated it. Bits and pieces of conversation were brought to your ears, and it only made you feel smaller.

“...Hwang Hyunjin...a Slytherin.”

“You’re kidding...monster….”

“On y/n? I thought…”

It made you sick.

There were a few people who were disinterested in the drama, rumors just being rumors. And there were a few who made no pass of judgement, not simply believing through word of mouth. But despite those few, the majority of people were sucked into the rumors and prattle, and believed it blindly.

Your head hung and you refused to entertain anybody, so you just sat. Soyeon had noticed and rubbed her arm awkwardly, unsure what to say. If she could even say anything. The atmosphere around you was suffocatingly awkward

You felt muggy; hot and uncomfortable underneath the piercing gazes looking your way. Snide comments were made, barely above a whisper but you heard them anyway. How could you not when half the hall was speaking about it, and being hyper-aware of those around you.

Any mention of the infamous Voldemort always got Hogwarts riled up, but you thought this much attention was ridiculous. Ridiculous and embarrassing. Just down the table, idle gossip was heard from a few fourth years; while earlier Seungmin compared Hyunjin to Voldemort, these kids were saying he was Voldemort's illegitimate child. The thought made you scoff, Ravenclaws were supposed to be smart, right? But you figured they probably thought the exact same thing about you.

Being in the center of all the talk, it made you feel angry, uncomfortable, and self-conscious. Your palms became clammy and so you not so discreetly wiped them on your robes. The irate expression was clear on your face but you hung your head low, timidly attempting to hide yourself. Amidst the loud whispers and heated pressure on your shoulders, you didn't notice Hyunjin enter the Great Hall. Despite that, you did notice the significant loss of sound amongst the chatty students. The hall had gone quiet to stare, to judge, and to be entertained. and so did you, but once your eyes landed on Hyunjin underneath the doorway, a bit of pressure was lifted. Just seeing him in front of you brought some confidence to your chest. So the stares and gossip almost didn't seem as bad. Almost.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, looked distressed. His eyes scanned the Great Hall and saw so many eyes on him; mocking, judgemental, and venomous. Standing there silently, his hair was a mess and so was his breathing.

First, Hyunjin looked to the Slytherin table yet made no move to sit. Second, he searched the Ravenclaw table until he found you. And third, he looked back towards the whole room. The once lost and frightened gaze he wore slowly darkened until he was glowering in the room. The headmaster made a move to stand and control the situation, ease the tension, but Hyunjin spoke before he could. The bitter malice dripping off his tongue accompanied by a cold gaze that reigned over the room.

With a voice still maintaining his dignity, he yelled out, "What are you all staring at? Mind your own damn business, I'm not a fucking tabloid."

Throughout the whole room, his words sent a chill into the air. The harsh biting tone of his voice and glaring look in his eyes quickly sent students back to their food. Many quickly turning around in fright and embarrassment at being called out. And the hall was silent for another minute, and you looked at Hyunjin.

He tread across the hall to you, a blank expression on his face with a solemn air. Students still stared, of course, but they at least had the decency to be discreet about it this time. When Hyunjin was a few feet away, you moved to stand up, frowning and desperate to get out of the room

But you felt a hand pull you back down, you looked, and Soyeon was gripping your wrist. She had a pleading look in her eyes and looked scared. Scared for you? For herself? You couldn't tell.

"Y/n...stop. you don't have to." She spoke lowly, not quite a whisper but stern in her intentions. After eyeing her, you looked down your table to see Seungmin and Jeongin staring as well. You looked away quickly.

You simply tugged your hand out of her grip, scowling and red, "I want to."

"Y/n, let's go." Hyunjin said softly, you saw how he was trying to maintain his harsh, cold facade. But as you looked into his eyes at his request, you saw the pain and dejection he really felt. Like a kicked puppy trying to fight back, staying strong to avoid the abuse. You nodded before leaving the hall with him, your head was still low until Hyunjin nudged you, his eyes speaking for him as he tipped his head up a bit. So you left the hall with your chin up, looking as if the stares and judgment of the other students were nowhere to be found.

Whispers erupted after the two of you left, and soon enough the whole hall burst out as it was filled with the voices of all the students. The noise was heard all the way down the hallway.

Sensing Hyunjin tense beside you, you slipped your hand into his to walk in silence. You didn’t realize that Hyunjin was actually guiding you to the Room of Requirement, not until you saw the doors in front of you. Hyunjin kept the cold, steely look on his face until the very end, but when he closed the door behind him the facade began crumbling in front of you. Your eyes catching the slight tremble of his shoulders and a moment of silence followed. Hyunjin turned around to face you and you saw just how vulnerable he was, his eyes were pleading for help. That’s when the mask completely broke. You didn’t see the cold, evil Slytherin the rest of the school saw, instead you saw a sensitive, vulnerable, and hurting boy.

Hyunjin dropped his head, his eyes blinking rapidly to ward tears off. Then you heard him mumble something, small words that broke your heart.

“Please don’t doubt me.”

“What?”

“Please don’t doubt me,” Hyunjin’s lip quivered, his eyes darting around as he attempted to fight off the oncoming tears. “I-I really did smell the Amortentia, I feel love and...I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Oh Hyunjin baby,” You approached him gently and lifted his chin up, your eyes locking onto his. There was a pain in your chest just seeing him crumble in front of you. You saw tears brimming, threatening to fall, “I never doubted you.”

“You didn’t?” His voice was small, delicate as he tentatively grasped your hand in his. Tears finally overflowing, wetting his cheeks and he hiccuped. Your lips trembled at the sight, seeing how much he was struggling with this.

“No,” You reassured him and he pulled you into an embrace, arms securely around your torso and his head in the crook of your neck. You felt your shoulder growing wet as Hyunjin shed his silent tears. You sniffled as you attempted to hold back your own tears, “Just let it all out.”

You guided Hyunjin to sit down, as you sat near the arm of the couch Hyunjin leaned into you. This allowed him to let it out and calm down. You were a comforting presence as he held your hand. Some time passed until he relaxed, his sniffles growing quiet until there was silence in the room. And at some point, his head ended up in your lap as he laid on his side; you took the opportunity to play with his hair. The little strands hung over his eyes and he didn’t seem bothered enough to move them.

“I didn’t know that falling in love hurt so much,” Hyunjin mumbled, “I was so happy yesterday…”

“How did you find out?”

“Jaemin brought the rumors up… and we argued about it.”

“Same thing happened to me, Seungmin and I had a fight…” You frowned, recalling all the things he said to you last night caused a pang in your chest.

Hyunjin’s head popped and he turned around to look at you, a surprised look on his face, “Seungmin too? I would’ve thought he’d be more understanding.”

“You and me both buddy.” You scoffed. Hyunjin frowned, then laid his head back down and signaled for you to keep playing with his hair. You complied, twisting the locks around, “He seemed concerned for me, but, he was convinced you used some spell or potion on me...I got really mad and it just became a spat.”

The words hung in the air and Hyunjin scrunched his eyebrows, he thought for a moment. “Jaemin said something similar, We didn’t exactly fight but, we argued. He asked me if I really used…” Hyunjin trailed off hesitantly.

“Used what?” You prodded gently, your hands fiddling around as you waited for his answer. He took a moment before speaking.

“If I really used the imperius curse.” Those words sent a chill down your spine as your hands were put on pause. Hyunjin's' voice was eerily cold as he spoke of the unforgivable curse.

You shook your head, “It’s all just talk Hyunjin, they have no proof because it’s not true. It’s hard, but these words will pass. Hell, I heard some fourth years saying you’re Voldemort’s illegitimate child for fucks sake.”

“Pfff what?” Hyunjin sneered. Then his voice lowered and mumbled with venom on his tongue, “That’s ridiculous.”

Conversation quickly veered off into more comfortable silence and for the first time that day you took the time to admire your surroundings. The Room of Requirement had transformed itself into a comfy sitting room, one where the atmosphere gave you a homey feel. A large stone fireplace sat in the nearest corner, it was lit as smoldering coals heated the room. Large windows stood tall and showed off a view of the Great Lake, as well as brought a lot of light into the room. The warm feeling made you drowsy, especially since you got very little sleep the night before and the feeling was welcomed. Also judging by the bags under Hyunjin's eyes, he didn’t sleep much either. In fact, he grew so quiet and still that he could’ve already been sleeping. So before you knew it, you rested your head and closed your eyes.

When you woke up, Hyunjin was still sleeping.

A little disoriented, you had turned to check the large clock hanging on the wall and found you two slept all the way till noon. Well, you did, Hyunjin was still sleeping like a log. You squeezed your eyes shut and yawned, stretching your arms out since Hyunjin was still making a pillow out of your legs. That’s when you really recalled in detail what happened that morning. How the Great Hall was filled with whispers and stony eyes and how you were suddenly treated very differently. Left to just pick at your food and not wanting to make the rumors worse. But after Hyunjin's dramatic entrance and exit, you were sure the school was buzzing with news about it. You suddenly grew self-conscious again as you wondered what kind of things people were saying about you now. Even worse, what they were saying about Hyunjin. He was getting the brunt of the attacks and was taking it pretty hard. 

A while later you heard Hyunjin groan as he woke up with a yawn, his hands rubbing at the sleep in his eyes. The sight brought a tiny smile to your face, “Good morning sleepy head.”

“Mmm,” He responded and sat up to stretch before slumping back to lean against your shoulder, “mornin’”

“By the way, it’s past noon, I guess we’re skipping classes today.”

“I don’t care, I’d rather not be stared at today anyway.” He grumbled, sleep still lacing his voice.

"Me neither. Think of it this way, this is just a big misunderstanding, it'll blow over like all drama does, and things will go back to normal." Your voice was positive, but it sounded like you were trying to convince yourself more than him.

Hyunjin slipped his hand into yours, “I hope so.”

The rest of the day was leisurely and neither of you dared to step outside, just wanting to spend time next to each other. And for the most part, the two of you fell into the usual. Once the drama left your minds, laughter and smiles followed soon after. The way you and Hyunjin were was like two puzzle pieces, it really felt like you belonged together. Oh, there was some kissing too. Hyunjin, as per usual, was interested about hearing about your life in the muggle world. You actually had to tell him to shut up to stop asking you so many questions.

And so he became pouty, “Come on, I barely knew anything about muggles, I’m learning.”

You rolled your eyes at the way he emphasized nearly every other word, “It’s not like I’m cutting your life supply off, but you really just asked me how rubber ducks work. I can’t answer that!”

You threw your arms in the air, a goofy smile on your face.

“Butttt babeeeee.” He whined, grabbing your hands in his and begging, “Please?”

“Pfff,” You couldn’t help but snicker, “How about we make a deal okay?”

Hyunjin looked skeptical, sitting up straight and narrowing his eyes at you.

“What’s that look for! It’s nothing bad I promise.” You urged, amused. “I’m just saying, if you stop asking so many questions, then when Christmas break comes I’ll show you around the muggle worl-”

“YOU WILL!?” Hyunjin practically jumped to his feet, very enthusiastic and very willing for your proposal. He was absolutely shaking in his shoes, he reminded you of a giddy child, “Oh my god I love you!! Are you serious?”

Your laughter at his excitement was cut off when he leaned over to squish your cheeks between his hands and kissed your lips. He pulled back quickly, pupils blown out wide and a sparkle in his eyes.

“Uh, yea! I’m serious you dork.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” You giggled.

Now, you didn’t believe Hyunjin could become any happier, but once you said those words his eyes shone brighter than the stars. And at that moment, you believed Hyunjin to be the most beautiful person you’ve seen.

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“God, I could listen to you say that all day.” He whispered, eyes boring into yours. Then his lip tipped up in a lopsided grin, “But the best part is that I can say it back. I love you y/n.”

You broke out in a smile before placing a sweet kiss onto his lips, “You are the best person, that, I’ve ever met… Please don’t change.”

Hyunjin shook his head, “No, I’ll change, I’ll love you more. I want to love you more, better than anybody else can. Got it? I feel it...getting stronger? My love for you that is.” His thoughts were choppy, as if he was struggling on finding the right words to express himself. “It’s like, I can get high on this feeling, it’s new and scary but, but if it’s for you then I’ll give you my all. And it’s still growing! Um, it’s slow and-and gradual...but it’s so clearly growing and I can feel it!”

The hope and yearning in his voice was strong, but he was elated. And it made you happy; happy to hear him happy and happy to see his wish coming true. Hyunjin was experiencing what it was like to love and you were the one he was loving. He was still clumsy with the feeling, he could barely describe it now, but the absolute joy he felt was worth it.

“I’ve been wanting this for so long and...now I finally have it, and I promise you I won’t mess this up. I...I think the first time I felt it, was our first kiss, in the potions room. It was faint, and it was so small I could barely tell. But, it was there, and I went to sleep that night more alive than I’ve ever felt. And that feeling just keeps growing every moment I spend with you y/n. I’ve never known that loving can hurt, but I think that...this-this um, this obstacle just helped the feeling grow stronger. So even if love hurts, I’ll love you. I’m so happy.” Hyunjin poured his heart out, serious as his words reached your heart.

You smiled, “Hwang Hyunjin, there is no greater honor than to be loved by you.”

“I could say the same.” He shook his head, then suddenly perked up and sat on his knees. “I almost forgot, but I had this on me.”

Hyunjin dug through his robes until he pulled out a little vial, filled to the brim with a pearly liquid sheen. Amortentia. He held it up proudly, “I really just wanted to thank you. Remember last week in Hogsmeade, I asked you to use this on me.”

You nodded sadly, “I do, I would never though…”

“I know, and now I know how foolish it was. But, now it’s comforting to have this, I can always just pop it open and now I smell mint. It’s a reminder, a uh, a reassurance that I really really do love now.” Hyunjin explained, smiling happily at the little vial. “Besides, it reminds me of you and me.”

“God you’re so sweet,” You held his cheeks in your hands, then spoke in a faux evil voice. “who would’ve thought the evil Hwang Hyunjin could be so loving.”

He rolled his eyes at your antics but pulled you into a hug nonetheless. And just basked in your comforting presence. He chuckled to himself.

“What are you laughing at?”

“I just realized I began to cry a lot ever since I met you.” He said, amused.

“What?” You teased, “you weren’t always so fussy?”

“Oh shut up.”

“I’m teasing baby, I’m a crybaby you know.”

It was only hours later when you began to untangle yourself from Hyunjin. The two of you decided your time was best spent just cuddling, talking about who knows what. But being curled up together by a fire was definitely an emotional boost for the both of you. You even went over your Christmas break plans and what you would show him. He was pretty elated about that. In return, Hyunjin sang for you, which was a pleasant surprise. And one more thing you’ve learned about the “mysterious” boy.

But as you sat up, Hyunjin was already tugging you back down on the couch with him, complaining at the loss of contact. “No, we gotta get out of here at some point, and classes have been over by now.”

“No, let's just stay in here forever,” He hung his arms limply off the couch, pouty. Then rolled over to hide his face in the throw pillow, voice effectively muffled. “Block the world.”

You grabbed his arm and shook it, then pulled to try to get his lazy ass up. And he only groaned, shook you off and laid there.

Your hand rested on your hip, “Well, while you lay there like a butt, I’m gonna go and turn in our project to Professor Lee, I hope you remember that it’s due today.”

“Mmmm, no I’m coming.” He mumbled, “Just gimme a sec.”

So on the walk to the potions room, you got a few stares. You couldn’t blame them though.

After the whole scene that morning, you were sure most of the school knew what was going on. Or at least they thought they knew. Rumors are a flame that just don’t stop. Thankfully neither of you ran into anybody you knew personally. And that made the walk to Professor Lee’s room a little bit more peaceful. Neither of you wanted to deal with awkward confrontation.

“I wonder if Professor Lee and the other teachers know what’s going on.” You mused as you approached his classroom.

“Hm,” Hyunjin began opening the door, “I guess we’ll find out huh.”

As you entered the classroom you felt suspense, it was an odd feeling in your chest. Maybe it was anxiousness, nervousness? You weren’t sure, but your grip on your papers tightened in anticipation. Hyunjin held the little pot of Amortentia, the amount Professor Lee requested.

“Professor? It’s Hyunjin and y/n, we came to turn in our bonus assignment.” Hyunjin called out, not seeing Professor Lee sitting in his usual desk. “Maybe we can just turn it in later, we’ll leave the potion here though, I don’t really want to carry the pot around.”

You nodded and tucked the papers into your robes, “Yea, I don’t see a problem with that.”

The pressure on your chest was relieved a bit, you weren’t sure why Professor Lee’s opinion of you mattered so much. You just wanted to do good on this project, but you were sure the little accident affected it a bit. Besides that, you left the odd feeling you had behind you, just a little worried the rumors got to Professor Lee’s ears.

“Now,” Hyunjin clapped his hands together and turned on his heels to walk away, “Let’s go back to the Room of Requirement!”

“Nooo,” You snatched his wrist and pulled him back, “we are getting out of there and hanging out outside. Okay?”

He sighed but silently agreed, walking alongside you. Since it was after classes most students weren’t walking around the halls, and that made it easier for you two to pass by peacefully. The problems only arose when you came to the more populated areas of Hogwarts, and it made both of you apprehensive.

Eyes stared, no shame if either of you noticed. Raucous whispers were heard as well, even more gossip being spread among the students. But it was enough that it could be ignored, just hold your head up high and walk through it all. You felt Hyunjin slip his hands into yours, he was nervous. When you looked up at him, the steely look in his eyes was back; you frowned and squeezed his hand to try to reassure him.

The stares and chatter persisted, even outside. You thought that the cold, snowy weather would drive people away from going outside, but the courtyard was as populated as it usually was. People were just bundled up now. You swallowed a lump that formed in the back of your throat, suddenly much more nervous than before. All eyes turned toward the two of you when you walked into the courtyard, there was an eerie silence that made you prefer the low whispers and avoidant stares more. Now, people were unabashedly looking at you and Hyunjin, obvious judgment in their glaring eyes. And as your eyes landed on Seungmin and Jeongin, you knew you wouldn’t be able to avoid the oncoming argument. The two fellow Ravenclaws were standing among a group of your classmates, their stares in particular were more scorching than others. It made you feel small.

You felt Hyunjin’s grip on your hand tighten, and you glanced up at him to see he was looking the same way as you. Eyes on Seungmin, icy and biting.

Tension. You hated it.

Hyunjin began tugging on your hand, pulling you away from the courtyard and away from all the cold eyes. You followed him, head low once more to try to ignore the attention on you. There was near complete silence, and you almost thought you’d be able to make it out without any confrontation, but you’d be a fool. As you passed by the group with Seungmin and Jeongin, your friend spoke up.

“Hey asshole, where do you think you’re going with her?” Seungmin jeered, and the suspense in the courtyard was amped up to ten. If everyone wasn’t looking before, their attention was certainly caught now. And you could feel everyone was on Seungmin’s side. Hyunjin was the villain in this story.

You tried to tug on Hyunjin's arm, tried to pull him away to not cause a fight. But he shook you off and faced Seungmin, eyebrows pulled together and lip taut in a frown. “It’s none of your business, it’s nobody's business except ours, actually.”

“It is my business, y/n’s been my friend for too long to see her be manipulated by some asshole who can’t even care about her, about anybody.” Seungmin retorted, hitting a nerve in Hyunjin.

“You don’t know shit, you call yourself her friend? You don’t even listen to her.” Hyunjin let go of your hand and the cold air sent a chill through you. But you were too invested in Hyunjin’s words to pay it any mind. “She said you two fought, and for what? I thought you were better than that but I guess some Ravenclaws have to be idiots.”

Seungmin pursed his lips, taking a step forward, “You’re changing the subject Hwang, you’re not denying it. That you can’t even fucking love her even if you wanted to. And she deserves better than a heartless bastard who has to manipulate her to get her to pay attention to you. She follows your heels like a lost puppy and that’s been made clear this morning. If you’re hurting y/n anyway then-”

“Then what if I’m not? Huh?” Hyunjin curled his lips, taking a step towards Seungmin, “You ever thought about that? Or are you all drones that just take anybody’s word as truth? You’re all fucking fools.”

“You think I didn’t think about it? Everyones thinking it, the whole school knows you’re a heartless bastard. Stop the facade, there’s no point in lying.” Seungmin stepped away from the group. He was never one to be confrontational, but this is the angriest you’ve seen the boy. It worried you.

“Have any of you even asked y/n?! Where’s the damn proof?” Hyunjin pointed to you, fed up with the accusations as well as obvious invasion of a secret he so desperately wanted hidden.

Seungmin stood still, eyes darted from Hyunjin to you and back to Hyunjin. He took a deep breath, but his eyes were still steady. “You don’t know? Neither of you’ve seen it?”

“Seen what?” You spoke up, worried about Seungmins hint at actual proof.

There was another bout of silence, then Seungmin looked behind him at Jeongin. He looked unsure for a moment, but then Jeongin held his wand up in front of him and cast a spell. A new and familiar one to kids your age, you could only describe it as ‘saving videos’ on your wand; a spell modeled after the rise of cell phones in the muggle world. Jeongin’s wand projected a scene, a ‘video’ of you and Hyunjin. It looked like it was taken far away, but the audio was oddly grainy; like it was clear in some spots and fuzzy in others.

A new flame of anger rose in you at the scene, it was taken the day you and Hyunjin were at Hogsmeade and went off to have some privacy. But clearly, it wasn’t as private as you had thought. The scene played out in front of you two.

“I wanted to….I wanted to talk about what our relationship is.”

“What about it?”

“...you’re...sending mixed signals. I know you can’t feel love, you know I know that. So why are you, why are you acting like you feel the same way as me…?”

Hyunjin was silent, a blank look on his face and you began speaking again.

“And Hyunjin...the kiss? What was that about? We never talked about it, and I really think we should...maybe I’m just delusional, maybe I’m just hoping too much. Maybe I just think we, we shared something nice... you...just playing with me.”

The audio began to become fuzzy. But then the image showed Hyunjin holding your hands and leaning in close to your ear, whispering words not caught on the video. And you were silent in his words and made no move as Hyunjin then leaned down to kiss you. The video continued to play, sped up until it stopped again and the audio was heard again. But it was grainy.

“I want...to use the Amortentia...”

You were obviously shocked at his words, and gave him a weird look.

“Hyunjin, why…”

The audio became weird once more but the video showed Hyunjin becoming snappy with you, and the small tidbits of audio that was heard showcased his biting tone as he spoke to you. You gave him a sad expression, eyes searching and lost.

And the video suddenly ended there. Jeongin lowered his wand, but he looked at you sadly, large eyes looking for your reaction.

“Where the hell did you get that?” Hyunjin snapped as soon as it ended, eyes furious and looking around. He took several more threatening steps towards Seungmin, his anger especially bubbling at the invasion of such an intimate moment for the two of you.

“That’s not what happened!” You cried out, speaking up for the first time. “Wherever you got that manipulated the video!”

“Memories can be manipulated too.”

“Oh fuck off, bastard.” Hyunjin uttered the words, malice lacing his tone as he pushed Seungmin in the chest. The crowd parted ways, forming a circle around the two as Seungmin pushed back.

You began panicking as you made your way towards the boys, but Jeongin grabbed your arm to hold you back. The two struggled against each other for a moment, but Hyunjin got an upper hand as he grabbed the front of Seungmins robes and pulled back to get a punch in.

He didn’t get the hit because as soon as Jeongin appeared at your side, he disappeared to help his friend, suddenly pulling Hyunjin off of Seungmin. Ultimately throwing him off balance as he was slammed into the cold, snowy ground. A small object fell out of his robes, but he was too dizzy to notice he lost the vial.

You ran up to Hyunjin, helping him stand up but more importantly pulling him away from the fighting. Hyunjin tugged against you, irate and still fixated on fighting. Jeongin was doing the same for Seungmin, pushing him back away from Hyunjin. Profanities poured from both sides.

But when you looked at Jeongin, he seemed suspiciously calm, aberrant in the chaos. Jeongin was staring at the ground, eyes narrowed. You followed his gaze until it landed on the vial of Amortentia laying in the snow, the sunlight glinting off its glass. Your stomach dropped but before you could grab it, Jeongin brought it to attention.

“The hell is that?” He said, loud to catch people’s attention, but calm enough to not add fuel to the fire. The crowd slowly got quiet once more as you scrambled to pick it up, but Jeongin grabbed it before you could. He held it up in front of him. Hyunjin looked lost, he patted his pockets and looked at you when he didn’t feel the vial in his robes.

Silently he sighed and handed it to Seungmin, who looked at it. He lifted his head to look at you then at Hyunjin, his tone bordering on retained anger “Don’t tell me this is what I think it is. Did she know about this?”

Hyunjin stammered, unable to explain the situation properly, only causing the blame on him to solidify in the mind of others. He looked at you for help, you gulped and stepped up to Seungmin, your hand stretched out to ask for the vial back. “Seungmin...it’s not what it looks like. We need that back though, it’s important.”

Seungmin pulled back cautiously, “Y/n, this stuff doesn’t make you think quite right. Amortentia is the most powerful love potion we know. If he’s giving this to you then you’re always going to side with him. We can take you to the infirmary okay? The evidence is right here in front of you, please just a few days away and you’ll feel better.”

“Seungmin,” you warned, taking another step towards him, “You’re not listening to me. We need that back.”

“Why?” He pressed, his grip on the vial tightened, “Why in the world would you need a love potion.”

You pursed your lips and shook your head, “Even if I explained it, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“You used to be able to tell me anything, if it’s not incriminating then why not say it?” Seungmin challenged.

“Because it’s private.” You hissed, a whisper only he could hear. He was getting on your nerves.

Seungmin only scoffed and took a step back, “It’s private…”

“It is! If I need to go to the fucking infirmary then I’ll go but give me the damn vial back.” You snapped at him and swiped for the Amortentia, but he pulled back again.

“Not until I, and we all, get a good fucking reason.” Seungmin retorted and raised his voice. He pointed harshly at Hyunjin, “Whatever’s going on with him is scaring the whole school and the two of you are being suspiciously private about it. Neither of you denied that he can’t feel love, there’s the video of him saying shit about using Amortentia, and he literally has the potion on him. For fucks sake y/n, it's scary how similar he is to-”

“What’s going on here?” A voice boomed, making the argument subside as the crowd parted for Professor Lee. He walked up, a stern look crossing his face. “There better not be a fight.”

“No, sir…” You muttered, “Just an argument.”

Professor Lee’s eyes landed on the vial of Amortentia, he looked at Hyunjin, “I see the two of you finished the project. Seungmin, may I see that?”

Seungmin hesitated for a split second before handing the potion over, “Sir, I-”

“One second my boy,” Professor Lee held a finger up and faced you, “I believe a couple essays were required with this project as well?”

“Uh, yes, professor.” You stammered as you dug through your robes and pulled out the slightly crumpled parchment papers and handed them over. “We stopped by your office just before this to drop it off but you weren’t there.”

He hummed in acknowledgment as he thumbed through the essays, “Yes, I was out talking with the Headmaster. There seems to be quite the...scare running throughout the school. We were discussing it.”

Professor Lee looked around at the small crowd and furrowed his big eyebrows. “What’s everyone looking at? Go on, mind your own business.” He motioned for all other students to go back about their own business and the crowd reluctantly dispersed. Hyunjin stayed silent beside you throughout the whole ordeal. Until Professor Lee looked at him.

“Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin perked his head up upon hearing his name, “Yes, Professor?”

“I would like to talk to you in my office alone, please.” Professor Lee requested calmly, with reverence. Hands clasped behind his back with a polite grin. Hyunjin glanced at you, and you saw the nerves in his eyes but you nodded towards him and made an encouraging gesture. So Hyunjin quietly followed the professor out of the courtyard, a vastly different attitude than minutes prior. For some reason he suddenly got more timid, reluctant.

You let out a long, drawn-out sigh as you stood there alone. For the first time you realized just how attached at the hip you and Hyunjin have gotten. It felt weird to suddenly stand there without him beside you, and now you understood why Seungmin said you were like a lost puppy. Although the wording still irked you, you saw why it seemed that way. You spent most of your time with Hyunjin nowadays; you now went to quidditch games and even some practices, hung out after school most days, and even studied together. Slightly scolding yourself, you just stood there as you looked at the ground. Eyebrows furrowed together at the way the two of you really just ‘blocked the world’.

Seungmin walked up to you, stopping just a few feet away and just looked at you sadly. It was as if he was trying to figure out what thoughts were swimming through your head. “Hey y/n…”

You peaked up at him meekly, “Let’s go to the infirmary.”

“Why? Are you hurt at all?” Seungmin took a few more steps towards you, worry written on his face and arms lifted to help.

“No, no” You shook your head and stood up straight, shooting him a subsistent smile, “we were going to get me tested right? For...for the love potion.”

“Oh.” He uttered dumbly, arms dropping to his sides. He scrutinized you, trying to see if you were being serious, “Are you sure?”

The courtyard around you two calmed down immensely without Hyunjin in the area, and nobody really paid much attention as you and Seungmin walked out. You gave a small wave to Jeongin and the other rest of the group, but other than that, you walked in silence.

As the two of you made your way to the infirmary, you almost forgot just how much you missed Seungmin. Just to have him walk beside you again was a good feeling, very familiar. But it wasn’t the same comfortable silence that usually fell over you, it was awkward and tense. Once again you scolded yourself for not being more aware of just how distant you’ve been. Because now there was a wall beside you that was never there before, and Seungmin was on the other side.

You gulped nervously before looking at Seungmin, “Hey...how long have the um, rumors been going around?”

Seungmin looked down at you, making you tear your eyes away and look forward, “A few days I’d say, but there was still doubt until that video got spread around yesterday.”

“That video…” You grumbled, then looked up at him again, eyes pleading for you, “It was manipulated Seungmin, I promise you that’s not what happened. Not all the words were caught and the audio was all messed up, I swear.”

The hallway was silent after you spoke and Seungmin stopped and looked at you, lips taut and eyebrows furrowed. You were about to give in and continue walking, but then he nodded, “Okay, I’ll believe you. But, I want your full explanation after we get to the infirmary.”

“Okay,” You nodded, a small smile tugging on your lips where you would usually roll your eyes at his nagging tone. There was a pain in your chest as you realized just how much you missed Seungmin. And there was a big part of you who suddenly wanted to just be with him for a while. To hear his voice, witness his mannerisms, and to laugh with him. Like how you always did.

∎∎∎

“I’m sorry.”

Seungmin apologized, playing with the loose frays of his robes. Your results for any potions in your blood came back negative, as well as being under the influence of any spells. And so you got the chance to explain everything to Seungmin. How you got close to Hyunjin, the kiss, what really happened at Hogsmeade, and finally how Hyunjin was able to smell the Amortentia. The nurse gave you an apologetic look as she rushed the two of you out the doors, apparently there was something urgent she had to attend to.

Then Seungmin was bashful afterward, profusely apologizing and red-faced. His previous pride and anger was nowhere to be seen and you couldn’t stay mad at him. You could only smile in sympathy as Seungmin’s usual confident words turned into shy stammering, and then you pulled your best friend into a hug to tell him it was okay.

And that’s how you ended up here, in Seungmins dorm room, the comfortable and familiar presence Seungmin always provided was back to normal. It wasn’t rare to see you hanging out in Seungmins room, at least, before you began spending so much time with Hyunjin. But all that mattered now was that you finally got some quality time with your friend.

Sitting across from Seungmin on his bed, you laughed “That was like, the hundredth time you apologized today.”

“Cause I was an ass,” He whined, hugging a pillow to his chest, “I should’ve listened to you, but I was just...so worried for you. And caught up in all the talk going around, I was dumb.”

“Come onnn, don’t worry about it anymore. I’ve forgiven you, but if you really want to make it up to me, then just answer some questions I got.” You smiled as you rested your head against the bed frame. Seungmin luckily claimed the bottom bunk of the bed, something Renjun always got salty over.

“Oh am I gonna get interrogated now?” He teased.

“Yes.” You answered firmly and pointed at him. “Cause I was highly distressed this morning and you at least owe me an explanation.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Who told you about the rumors, and do you know who started them?” You frowned, eyebrows pulled together in concentration as you awaited Seungmin's answer.

“Jisung told me, uh Han Jisung, not the other one. I’m pretty sure the rumors began with the Gryffindors.” He answered right away, then he looked confused as he stared down at his duvet, “I’m not sure why though, you’d think the rumors would begin with some Ravenclaw or Slytherin, considering that’s what you guys are.”

“Really…?” You mumbled, the gears in your head twisted and you grew angry. “What do any of them have with my business? Why would they...oh my god, that wretch!!” At the sudden revelation, you pounded your fist into the mattress and huffed indignantly.

“What?? What is it? Who?” Seungmin asked in rapid succession, startled by your outburst. He sat up straighter and leaned in, really interested in your apparent epiphany.

“That little Gryffindor girl!! She got rejected by Hyunjin at Hogsmeade! She must’ve followed us...and recorded us.” You fumed, face growing red at your deduction. “I can’t believe she actually spread it around, that little brat!”

“Hey hey hey, calm down okay?” Seungmin held his hands up defensively, “We can’t just jump to conclusions, we don’t know it was her.”

“Well that’s my best guess,” You crossed your arms and slumped down, a clear pout on your lips. “I really can’t believe somebody would do this…”

The tips of Seungmins lips turned up at your pout, then dropped the next second. “I do feel bad for Hyunjin, he’s getting the brunt of the hate. And, and I contributed to it.”

His eyes reminded you of a kicked puppy. There was no way you’d let Seungmin get away with that sad look on his face, not under your watch. You pursed your lips before shuffling your way over to him, careful not to knock your head off the top bunk and pinched his cheeks back, “Hey mister, stop it with that sad look. I’m finally hanging out with you again and I don’t want to see you being all puppy dog sad. Got it?”

Seungmin wrinkled his nose in response and pushed your hands off, then rolled his eyes. “You’re one to talk, you were just fuming seconds ago.”

“That’s different from being sad with your big puppy dog eyes.” You giggled before settling down in front of him, your knees under you.

He scoffed with a contradictory sweet smile on his lips. “I missed you.”

Your chest constricted uncomfortably and you were vaguely reminded as to why you liked Seungmin. Why you loved Seungmin. His big brown eyes were warm and sweet and despite all the nagging, it showed that he really just cared. You smiled, a smile full of melancholy. “I missed you too, Seungmin. I really missed you.”

“I’m sorry,” It was your turn to apologize. You even felt tears beginning to prick your eyes, “I-I was just so caught up in him that...the rest of the world just didn’t seem to matter. I’m just dumb and blind. I mean, I guess you were kind of right when you said I’m irresponsible…”

“No no, don’t listen to me y/n. I’m the dumb one, I was just...jealous.” He said reluctantly, pausing for a moment before continuing. “I thought I lost my best friend and I was too quick to judge him. I was irresponsible if anything. Oh, please don’t cry.”

You laughed at his plea then hiccuped, it was too late, tears were already beginning to run down your cheeks. Seungmin stayed calm and brought his hand up to wipe the tears away, a small smile on his face. “You’ve always been a crier, huh?”

“No.” You pouted stubbornly, sniffling and going to hold his hand. A comforting gesture that never failed to calm you down. But among all the tears, you were really just glad to have your friend back.

The moment didn’t last long though, brief laughter was heard outside the door before it suddenly swung open. And who were the culprits? Renjun and Jisung. Seungmin pulled his hand away at their loud entrance and it dropped by your side. Their laughter died down after seeing you in the room, giving you solemn and unreadable looks. The mood change almost gave you whiplash.

Among the tension, you realized that you were still judged. Still in the spotlight for gossip at Hogwarts. You were suddenly brought back to reality as the stares made you feel small. And that feeling of vulnerability quickly turned for annoyance. You weren’t quite sure at what, but you quickly decided not to be passive about this anymore. Straightening you back, you turned your attention towards Han Jisung. Determined to gain just a little bit of your pride back.

You quickly wiped the remaining tears and pointed an accusatory finger at Jisung, “You’re not supposed to be here, you’re a Gryffindor.”

At your sudden allegation, which caught him off guard, Jisung straightened his back and held his hands up in defense. Then he narrowed his eyes and pointed at you as well, “Hey neither are you, you’re a girl.”

“Touche.” You sighed and looked at Renjun, “But it’s not like I’m not a normal guest, right Renjun?”

“Well, no, but I thought…” His gaze shifted to Seungmin and then back to you, “I just thought…”

And in response, Seungmin rapidly shook his head. So Renjun dropped the subject, “Uh, welcome back y/n.”

“Thanks for the warm welcome.” You smiled sarcastically before turning your attention back to Jisung. “Anyway, I have questions for you.”

“Actually, it might be better if I go.” Jisung cocked his head nervously and began to make his way towards the door, “I think we might’ve interrupted something…”

“Hey, no.” You pointed to the other bed, “Sit.”

And he sat.

You could feel their eyes on you, and you knew what thoughts were probably going through their heads. Renjun shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, then leaned back against his desk. Jisung fidgeted with his hands, he sat stiffly across from you but avoided your gaze. They were wondering why you were here. Why you were with Seungmin again. And why in the world you seemingly had a bone to pick with Jisung.

A breathy laugh escaped you as you looked on the scene. Seungmin caught on and smiled, "Guys she's not going to chew your heads off, relax."

"Then why did she sound so angry?" Jisung shuddered, his eyes blown wide as his head darted between you and Seungmin. He placed a hand on his chest dramatically and let out a nervous chuckle as he spoke. "I thought she was gonna hex me with the look she gave me!"

Renjun rolled his eyes and laughed, "Didn’t you guys just fight like, an hour before."

You shook your head, "We talked everything out. It's all a big misunderstanding, which, turned into paranoia. It’s all a mess and I’ve been caught up in it, and Hyunjin's getting the brunt of it all. And it’s all just...really stressful-”

Well, so much for gaining your pride back.

In that moment, the floodgates burst open and your cheeks felt wet. They were silent tears, at least at first, and your nose scrunched as you felt frustrated at yourself. You cried often these days, but you never broke down quite this bad before. The boys around you fell solemn and speechless for a moment, not expecting the sudden shift in dynamic. Seungmin reached up to comfort you, but faltered, hesitating for whatever reason. You suddenly inhaled a shaky breath before furiously wiping your embarrassing tears away. Your cheeks burned bright and your thoughts were staggering as your fists clenched the bedding beneath you, but you couldn’t stop talking. You stammered and stuttered and fumbled through your sentences, sounding borderline hysterical as you recounted what you’ve been through. While you were sure you were making a fool of yourself, you had to let it all out. It was like a switch was flipped and you can’t flip it back, like you couldn’t find the off button for your mouth. But you were grateful, since Renjun and Jisung were listening patiently through your mess of an explanation. And while you didn’t even notice it till now, Seungmin slipped his hand into yours in reassurance. You were probably cutting the poor boys circulation off with how hard you were gripping his hand back, but he never complained. So, as you were hiccuping, eyes red, and words just tumbling out of your mouth nonstop. They heard your side of the story and understood.

“Wait!” Jisung interrupted you, his hands were held up in front of him. His tone was desperate and buoyant all the same. As he handed you another tissue, he gave you a coy smile, “I got some info you might wanna hear. And I can help you out a little.”

You sniffled into the tissue, nodding at him softly to continue.

∎∎∎

“So, they believed you?” Hyunjin inquired, peeling some oranges for the both of you. Brushing the peels into the trash beside you. You two sat in a little alcove, a place in the halls where people don’t come by very often. It gave the two of you a little privacy without feeling like you had to hide from everybody. The past few days were rough and the stares made you want to hide at times; but at this point, you were sick of the rumors and were working on ending them.

Deciding to save yourself the embarrassment, you brushed past mentioning your breakdown to him. You nodded, “Mhm, I guess I was quite...convincing. I’ll explain everything to you. I was able to get some info out of Jisung.”

“Good, I’m getting tired of being avoided like the plague.” He popped an orange slice into his mouth then handed you one. Which you took gratefully. Then set the rest between where you two sat. The tall window behind your back let plenty of light through, and it was a calm day. “Some first years give me this terrified look whenever I walk by, you know?”

“Oh no, it’s cause you’re an oh-so-scary dark wizard.” You teased, “I doubt you even have an ounce of dark magic in you.”

“Right, I forgot, I’m evil now.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “So, what did Jisung say?”

You clasped your hands together and scooched closer to him, “I know who did it. Who spread the rumors and eavesdropped on us and everything.”

He visibly perked up, “Who? Who was it because so help me, I’ll hex them into oblivion.”

“Just like the evil wizard you are, huh.” You chuckled, then shook your head. Your teasing mood quickly took a nosedive the more you thought about it. She put a bad taste in your mouth. “Remember that little fourth year Gryffindor, the one who asked you out at Hogsmeade?”

Hyunjin's expression quickly soured, his nose scrunched and lips curled back. “You’re kidding, that little-”

“No, and she followed us and took that video.” You muttered bitterly, but then gave Hyunjin a coy smile, “But there’s good news too.”

“And what’s that?”

“We all came up with a plan.” You glanced down the hall, suddenly very aware that people could be listening in. Hyunjin noticed and looked down the hall as well. But you digressed nonetheless, “So, apparently...this little girl is planning on asking you out again.”

Hyunjin jeered, showing his clear disgust with the idea, “What, is she crazy? What makes her think that I’d want to-”

“Because,” You interrupted, holding your pointer finger up to emphasize, “she thought I would run away from you. But more than that…” you paused for dramatic effect, “the little hypocrite bought a love potion.”

There was a beat of silence before Hyunjin raised his eyebrows in surprise, not expecting that. “How do you know?”

“Jisung said he heard her talking about it with her friends. Apparently, she’s gonna approach you soon to try to ‘comfort’ you. So basically she’s gonna act as your savior. Be all nice and friendly and caring. And offer you a snack. That's where the love potion is gonna be, right? Now that I think about it, she should be in Slytherin instead of you.” You mused, seeing just how cunning the little Gryffindor was.

“She’d fit right in.” Hyunjin muttered, crossing his arms and leaning back against the windowpane. He looked down in thought, “So what do you want me to do?”

You smiled, “Get the evidence, then we expose her.”

“Oh! Actually,” Hyunjin suddenly perked up, “I forgot to tell you, but remember how Professor Lee called me to his office yesterday?”

“Oh yea! What happened?”

“Well,” He looked up, “he told me not to worry, the headmaster is actually trying to take care of it right now. Sometime before the end of the week, he’s going to make an announcement and try to debunk the rumors. So, I mean the plans great and all, but it’s already being handled.”

You pouted, scooching over to him to lean against him, “I still think the plan is a good idea.”

He chuckled, “Cause it is, we’ll still go through with it if need be, but I want to avoid that girl as much as I can…”

“Yea, me too.” you sigh, suddenly really tired as the two of you fell into a bout of silence. It was nice just to enjoy the little moments in the day. These were the moments you really appreciated because while all the excitement is fun and all, it was moments like these that really solidified the comfort you felt with Hyunjin. To be able to just sit together and enjoy each other's presence. You were grateful to be able to have that with him. You began to play with his hand, twisting the rings on his fingers and such. At some point, you slipped a ring off his finger and placed it on one of yours. Hyunjin questioned it, commented on how it was a little loose, but let you borrow it nonetheless.

“So...you and Seungmin are good again?” Hyunjin broke the silence as he chewed on another orange slice, hence muffling his speech.

“Mhm,” You smiled and ducked your head down, trying to contain your joy at just the thought. It still amazed you how much you miss Seungmin. “I’m meeting up with him later, we decided we needed to catch up some.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin's brows knotted, he sat up a little straighter, “Okay.”

You straighten your back as well, mirroring his actions, “Is something the matter?”

Hyunjin held his hand onto his chest and stared down at the floor in front of him, but he didn’t answer you. He was frozen there until you placed a hand on his shoulder hesitantly. That's when he looked up to meet your eyes. His brow was still knotted and confused. It was strange like he was in a trance of some sort. The change in demeanor was very jarring and he wasn’t helping you much, not answering in the slightest.

“Are you hurt?” You began to panic, placing your hand over his on his chest, instantly very concerned. Hyunjin only stared at you for a second. But then his gaze tore away and looked away from you with a cold chuckle, all while shaking his head at you. You pulled your hand away, blinking at the harsh look he had, almost mocking. Then he stood up, subsequently ignoring you.

And you, not about to deal with any more crap than you already were, grabbed his wrist and yanked him back down to his seat. You stood up instead, arms crossed and looked down at him sternly, “Hyunjin, answer me, what’s wrong.”

That’s when he scoffed at you again and moved to stand up, but you placed a hand on his chest and gently pushed him back down. Sighing, you took his hand in yours and sat next to him, “Please, I don’t want to fight, and if you’re mad at me then please tell me why.”

You felt Hyunjin's hand tighten around yours, but his sturdy gaze softened and his head dipped down. And if you weren’t mistaken, his cheeks were red. “It’s stupid. It’s just dumb.”

“No it’s not, what happened?”

“I just...I think I got jealous. Sorry, I-I don't know why I acted like that. It was just very sudden and I kind of felt...wronged.” Hyunjin shook his head, laughing at himself bitterly. “I’ve never done that before, I’ve never felt that jealous before.”

If you were being honest, you had to hold yourself back from cooing and teasing him about it. It was cute, but he was clearly embarrassed about it, so you were going to save the teasing for later. Instead you nodded understandingly and just shrugged, “It’s okay, it’s a new feeling? And like, who doesn’t get jealous from time to time. Don’t worry about it.”

“Yea, I just feel dumb.”

“Cause you are.”

“Thanks.” He smiled at you before wrapping an arm around you. “I’ll try not to do that again. No guarantees though.”

You could only shake your head lovingly at the boy and kiss his cheek, you also kept toying with his ring on your finger. Being out instead of cooped up in the room of requirement was a good move. It was great and all for privacy, but sitting out in the hall cleared your minds a bit. Even if it was a more secluded part of the school, students still passed by. So you enjoyed the moment with Hyunjin, it was much less tense than days prior and you both seemed to loosen up a little bit. Eventually it came time for you to meet up with Seungmin, so you split up with Hyunjin and left.

And that’s how you ended up sitting in the astronomy tower with Seungmin. Side by side on the floor, you stared at the stars in wonder. At first, you two were just going to meet up in his dorm room, but he said that the rest of his roommates were there. And he didn’t think it’d be an ideal place to catch up. While the astronomy tower wasn’t usually open like this, you convinced Seungmin that bending the rules a little wouldn’t hurt. And he did his usual nagging while going along with your lackadaisical actions, not really caring for the rules.

Catching up with him was a lot more relaxed than you originally thought. For some reason, you had the idea in your head that this was going to be a tense and slightly awkward meeting. But you fell into routine and ease just like how you always did. You guess that just how your relationship with Seungmin is, it was always relaxed and you just felt comfortable next to him. It was always like that, which was one reason why you were so shocked when he lost his temper before. But none of that mattered now, conversation came easily and you talked for hours about who knows what. Seungmin filled you in and you filled Seungmin in. Topics strayed then came back then strayed again. All until your chat fizzled out and your attention turned more towards the stars and constellations. The stars were beautiful that night in particular.

“Did you do the homework yet.”

“Nope,” You continued to stare at the stars, “I can do it later.”

“It’s already midnight.”

“And?”

You heard Seungmin chuckled beside you, “I’m glad you haven’t changed.”

“Just cause I began hanging with someone else means I’m suddenly going to be doing my work on time?” You said, sarcasm dripping from your tongue. “Who do you think I am? A diligent student? Pfff”

“I’m just saying, you got that project with Hyunjin in on time.” Seungmin shrugged, looking at the same part of the sky as you.

You smiled softly, tracing constellations with your eyes, “Believe it or not, I actually had to motivate him to do some work.”

“Yea, that’s hard to believe.” Seungmin leaned back on his palms, looking at you, “Your eyes are glowing.”

Blinking a couple times, you tilted your head and looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Looking at the stars, your eyes look like they’re glowing.” Seungmin smiled at you and made you do a silent double take. As you looked at him, you struggled to form words. Just something in the way he said it, or maybe how he looked at you. It took you off guard.

“Yea?” You replied simply, “Well they’re beautiful tonight.”

“I agree.” Seungmin nodded, looked down for a moment, then up at the stars. He then sat up straighter and turned his body so he was fully facing you, a little sheepish. “But, I wanted to meet up for more than just to catch up.”

Unsure of what he was doing, you stared at him blankly, lips parted as you waited for him to continue. He fiddled with his hands in front of him and then smiled at you, “I wanted to tell you that I like you, more than just as a friend. And I have for a while.”

“I...what?”

Seungmin held a hand up, stopping you from speaking any more. But quite frankly, you were speechless from the confession. So you closed your mouth with wide eyes and listened to him. If he didn’t have your full attention before, he certainly did now.

“I don’t know how long I’ve liked you, I just know it’s been a while. And I realized it when I realized just how strange it felt to not be around you, and I’m not talking about recently. I just remember back in...I don’t know, fourth maybe fifth year, I came to the epiphany that something felt empty without you. I just, I just never knew if you felt the same and I was still happy with being your best friend. It was only when you told me what you smelled in the Amortentia, is when I began building up the courage to tell you. Because, tell me if I’m wrong, but you smell jasmine right? That’s...the tea I drink right?”

Not having the heart to tell him that the smell changed, you nodded solemnly.

“So, I was going to confess to you and everything after that. But, that’s when you got closer to Hyunjin and I couldn't seem to get a moment with you. Then the rumors got out and I just felt...wronged. And I got mad and jealous and you didn’t deserve the backlash I threw at you. I was just bitter.” Seungmin shook his head, talking carefully and clearly. He was always good at talking, “I just thought you deserved to know. Know why I overreacted and got just unreasonable… I also just felt like I needed to get this off my chest to…”

Seungmin trailed off and didn’t finish his sentence. You looked at him expectantly. But when you didn’t continue, you prodded him to finish his thought. “To...what?”

“To move on.” He smiled as his eyes cast down, the despondent smile caused your chest to pang weirdly. It caused you to frown and look down as well, not sure what to say. Seungmin, your best friend, just confessed to you. The guy you wished would do this for years, is now confessing just like you wanted, but you couldn’t feel happy at all. Your thoughts remained lingering on Hyunjin as you kept twisting his ring on your finger.

“Seungmin…” You murmured, words not coming to mind. More like you couldn’t bring yourself to speak.

But then Seungmin stood up, “It’s okay, I understand. To be honest, I really needed to get this off my chest, so just telling you feels better for me…”

“Wait, are you leaving?” You stood up as well. Not quite ready for him to go, you took a step closer to him.

“Well, I’m being rejected aren’t I?” Seungmin shrugged and smiled again, “I just don’t want this to affect our friendship. I value you too much to lose you over this, can you promise me that?”

“I promise…” You nodded sadly. In a weird way, you felt as if you were the one being rejected. Then a thought came to you, you furrowed your eyebrows as it came to you. And so before you could linger on the idea for too long, you just put it into action. Taking another step closer to him, Seungmin looked confused. But didn’t move away as you placed your hands on his shoulders and leaned up to place a sweet kiss to his cheek.

At your actions, he looked at you in astonishment and disbelief, pretty brown eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Yet, just as you were about to step away from him, embarrassed, he grasped your wrists. Not tightly, but just enough to keep you close to him. You didn’t have any time to think before Seungmin was leaning down and placing a chaste and tender kiss to your lips. This time, it was his turn to leave you doe-eyed and surprised.

Seungmin just kissed you.

And you were frozen at the thought. But you felt your blush quickly rising to your cheeks and you brought your hand to gently touch your lips. To say he caught you off guard would be an understatement. Your eyes darted around quickly before landing on Seungmins to find him scratching the back of his neck, looking away from you.

Seungmin was blushing as well, then he looked at you before placing a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. He wore a coy smile, “Just once okay?”

“That was a bold move,” You let out a breathy chuckle as you let your arm hang limply at your side, “maybe you’re changing quicker than I am.”

His attention seemed to be caught by the stars and he breathed in deeply, then exhaled as he replied, “Yea, that’s the plan. I’ll have to if I’m going to move on.”

“Yea…” You followed his gaze towards the stars, “you’re still my best friend okay?”

“And you’re my best friend.” Seungmin nodded before placing a kiss on your forehead. Then began to move away, “I’m going to go now…”

You suddenly became bashful again and perked an eyebrow up at him, “Do friends kiss friends?”

He shrugged, “Give me some slack, I just got rejected. I’m just wishing my friend luck in her future relationship with a certain Slytherin.”

“Goodnight Seungmin.” You chuckled and ran a hand through your messy hair. Watching as he gave you a wave goodbye before descending the astronomy tower. All of a sudden, he felt a lot more mature than a couple months ago. And you were proud of him.

So, you stayed up in the astronomy tower for a little longer. Left alone with your thoughts and the stars, quietly toyed with Hyunjin’s ring.

a/n: so its finally hereeeeee!. Sorry about it being a little late, i fell asleep after school and needed to edit it a little bit ahah. But I’m satisfied with this! This is by far the fanfic ive received the most feedback for and it feels nice that its so loved :)

[artificialqueens]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer), Chapter 9 (Branjie, Jankie) - Joley

ao3 link

Chapter Summary: We pick back up a few months after Jackie and Jan make their relationship official and Brooke Lynn and Vanessa set their sights on their future daughter. Everything finally falls into place.

Three Months Later

It was nearing the middle of January, in the midst of winter break. Katya, Jan, and Jackie were in Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s apartment, busily decorating and making sure every little thing was in place according to the couple’s specific instructions. This was the day they had been anticipating for quite some time, after all.

The three of them were setting up for a welcome home party, as while they were doing so, Brooke and Vanessa were on their way home with their daughter. The papers were signed, the documents were made official, they were finally going to officially welcome Ana Sofia into their family.

Although it did feel like they already had her – the moms-to-be had talked about her at length, read them every detail of her biography until they could recite it from memory. She was three years old, half-White and half-Puerto Rican – when the two of them read that on her file, they thought it had to be fate. The story of the girl’s parents wasn’t uncommon, but it was a situation they could feel sympathy towards – a nineteen-year-old girl had been in a relationship with a man nearly twice her age, who left once he found out about her pregnancy, only for the young mother to find out the father was leaving the country. With his wife.

Brooke Lynn and Vanessa had been contacted by the woman while they were in the midst of the adoption process. She was kind and soft-spoken and it was clear she had only wanted the best for her biological child. They had agreed to visit the idea of allowing a relationship between her and Ana Sofia when she was old enough.

“God, she looked so young,” Brooke Lynn had said once they had left the meeting. “Like, shit, she was Jan’s age when she had her… that’s how old you were when we met.”

“Can you imagine if I was pregnant when we met?” Vanessa asked, shaking her head.

“With the number of men you’ve threatened to castrate? No, not really.”

But even though they had gone through all of the preparation, had meticulously completed every step, the day of their new daughter’s arrival felt unreal. After the bedroom had been painted and carpeted, after all sorts of toys and stuffed animals had been purchased, after every inch of the apartment was childproofed, wrapping their heads around finally bringing their little girl home felt hard to do.

It wasn’t the first time they had met her, of course. They’d been having supervised visits for nearly two months. They had bonded with Ana Sofia, they loved her. She’d met the people in their lives – Jan, Jackie, Katya, she even got to meet Brooke’s mother when she visited for Christmas and Vanessa’s when they went there for New Year’s Eve.

“You ready to go inside?” Brooke gently asked the little girl, though she was the most nervous out of the three of them.

Ana Sofia looked up with her big, brown eyes and nodded, one hand holding Brooke’s and the other carrying the bright pink teddy bear they had bought for her. “Yeah!”

Vanessa opened the door to a cheerful greeting of ‘welcome home!’ and looked at the way her new daughter’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm. She carried Ana Sofia’s suitcases into her bedroom, letting the young girl run around and greet everyone. “Go on and make yourself comfy, Sofie,” she encouraged.

It didn’t take long for Sofie to get acclimated to the apartment she had already started to get used to, winding up on the couch with their cat on her lap.

“How are you guys feeling?” Katya asked the new mothers. She was calm in a way that would otherwise be unnerving, but without the normal ulterior motives, it was a welcome change.

“I haven’t been this excited since our wedding day,” Brooke replied with a broad grin, her arm looping around Vanessa’s waist. “It feels like this is what everything was leading up to. Like we’re finally whole.”

Vanessa nodded in agreement. “You shoulda seen her when we picked her up and told her she was coming home for good. You’d think we live in Disneyland or something,” she chuckled.

Katya grinned. “I can’t begin to tell you two how proud I am. You’ve come such a long way from two kids struggling to confront how they felt about each other, I don’t think I’d have ever predicted this.”

“We wouldn’t have been able to without your flagrant disregard for our personal boundaries, so thank you for that,” Brooke teased. “Though I guess we did learn from the best as far as that goes,” she added, cocking her head towards Jan and Jackie.

“They were worse than us, you gotta admit,” Vanessa chimed in.

“Yes,” she conceded, “which isn’t an easy task with what a nightmare you guys were. But I think they’re in it for the long haul too.”

Jan and Jackie were sitting with Ana Sofia on the couch, talking animatedly about all of the fun things they would be able to do, how much they were looking forward to babysitting her.

“We have to take her to a show at some point,” Jan mused, “maybe f-r-o-z-e-n,” she spelled it out, knowing better than to say it in front of a child and set her off in excitement.

Jackie chuckled softly in amusement. “Yeah, maybe for her birthday,” she mused, then looked down, clearing her throat. “Baby… can I talk to you privately for a moment?”

Jan’s brows knitted in concern, but she nodded and got up, following her girlfriend into the guest room. “What’s up?”

“I was gonna wait until later, but I can’t wait any longer,” she replied, rocking back and forth on her feet. She was always so careful with her words, especially with Jan. But she’d also learned from Jan that sometimes it was best to be direct. “I want you to move in with me.”

There was a beat of silence, a surprised Jan needed a moment to process what’s been said. But then a broad grin spread across her lips and she nodded brightly. “Okay,” she threw her arms around Jackie, “I’d love to.”

Jackie’s entire body relaxed as a wave of relief washed over her. “Great. Amazing. Perfect. We can go back to your parents’ place to pack up your things whenever you’re ready. I mean, I don’t wanna rush you or anything, but I think it’d make sense before the semester–”

Jan cut her off by kissing her deeply. “Baby, I love you, but you talk way too fucking much when you’re overthinking,” she chuckled. “My parents will be thrilled to not have to pay for room and board, they’ll happily cover my share of the rent. We can go tomorrow or over the weekend, whatever,” she assured and kissed her again. “Just relax, we’re doing this. Everything is fine.”

“You’re right,” she exhaled, hugging her tightly. “I love you so much.”

Their tender moment was interrupted by a loud banging on the door. “Y’all better not be behaving inappropriately during my baby’s party!” Vanessa yelled.

Jan giggled and opened the door. “We’re not,” she promised, even though Jackie was blushing. “Actually… Jackie just asked me to move in with her.”

Vanessa’s scowl was instantly replaced by a bright grin. “For real? Congrats!” She turned to yell into the main room, “Brooke Lynn! Jan and Jackie are moving in together!” She then dragged the couple back out, holding each of them by the wrist, not that either of them were putting up any resistance. They both knew better than that.

Brooke looked up, chuckling warmly at the enthusiasm her wife had for the couple. “You guys are moving in together? Congrats. We’d offer to help but, you know, very busy with the new child.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll coerce Gigi and Crystal to help us. They can be bribed with weed and snacks,” Jan replied with a shrug and a light laugh.

“Oh, are we finally getting proof that Crystal exists?” Brooke asked with a light laugh. It had become something of an ongoing joke – Gigi talked about her all the time, often relentlessly, but none of them, other than Jan, had ever met Crystal. And even though Jan had, she liked to play along for the sole purpose of annoying her friend.

Jan laughed and nodded. “I promise we’ll FaceTime you when we have her here in the flesh.”

——

Jackie caught her breath as she came back upstairs after taking a pile of boxes to load up in the back of Jan’s father’s van. “I still can’t get over how nice your parents’ house is,” she remarked as the two of them sat on the floor of Jan’s bedroom, folding her clothes to pack into boxes. “I know you said your family was well off, but damn.”

Jan shrugged and awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s not something I try to make a big deal about,” she explained, then looked up when the door opened and let out a soft laugh. “There you are. We were starting to worry you two got lost.”

“In our defense,” Gigi said as she and Crystal walked in, “we’ve never made this commute before. And we warned you neither of us have any sense of direction.”

“The Amtrak and I are enemies now. But at least we got Krispy Kreme while we waited,” Crystal added cheerily.

Jackie chuckled lightly. “And you didn’t bring any? Rude,” she clicked her tongue then looked to Jan. “Don’t forget, we promised Brooke and Vanjie we’d call to let Gigi prove Crystal isn’t a figment of her imagination.”

“Can you really prove I’m not?”

Jan and Jackie giggled while Gigi rolled her eyes and waited for Jan to get her phone out, calling up Brooke Lynn on FaceTime.

“Hey hun,” Brooke greeted. She was sitting with Vanessa and Ana Sofia, the sound of cartoons playing in the background. “How’s the big move going?”

Jan pushed herself to her feet. “Can’t complain, we’re not making ourselves crazy considering it’s not too bad of a commute. For us, anyway,” she pointedly looked at Crystal and Gigi at the last part.

“Show us the imaginary girlfriend!” Vanessa interrupted, leaning further into frame. “Katya thinks it’s gonna be Jackie with a wig on.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Gigi muttered under her breath, taking the phone from Jan and holding it up so she and Crystal were in the frame. “Vanjie, Brooke, tiny child, this is my girlfriend, Crystal. Who does exist.”

Crystal laughed softly. “Wow, this really bothered you,” she observed. “Why didn’t you just FaceTime me sooner?”

“Because we woulda called you a hologram,” Vanessa retorted before Gigi could answer, eliciting laughter from Brooke as well as Jan and Jackie.

Gigi pouted and crossed her arms. “I hate all of you,” she muttered, then added, “except for the kid, she’s cool.” And with that, she hung up and handed the phone back to Jan.

Jan chuckled and put her phone away. “You’re so cranky,” she cooed, getting up and grabbing her purse. “Here, let me smoke you out now. It’s the least I could do,” she offered, placing a joint between Gigi’s pouting lips and lighting it, watching her friend relax and smoke in spite of herself.

Jackie watched in mild amusement before glancing down as her phone went off. “Aw, Jaida just got back from Milwaukee and Nicky was waiting for her at the airport,” she read off her phone, then held it up to show the selfie Jaida had taken of the two of them.

“Wonder whatever happened to Nicky’s ‘no dating until graduation’ rule,” Jan mused with a laugh as she went back to folding shirts and packing them away. “Or are they still ‘not putting a label on it’?”

“The latter,” she confirmed. “But I know Jaida, she’s not gonna put up with that forever. She called me out on my bullshit plenty and she’s not the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ type.”

“I just love that Nicky’s role in your life is essentially the girl that fucks the women closest to you. It feels like a metaphor or something. Frankly, I think you need to have sex with her just to bring it all full circle,” Gigi mused, to which Jackie responded by throwing a pair of jeans at her.

“Fuck off,” Jackie laughed. “I’d much rather her fuck my best friend than my girlfriend any day.”

Jan offered her a reassuring smile and nod. “There’s no plans on that happening again, don’t you worry… unless you want a threesome,” she joked.

“Hey Jan,” Crystal interrupted, “when do you hear back from that thing you auditioned for? What was it again?”

The calm smile on Jan’s lips shifted into a nervous one. She stopped folding, instead fiddling with the fabric in her hands. “It’s an official shadow cast production for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a solid five week stint. The website is posting callbacks on Thursday morning, then they post who made the final cut I think… four days after that.”

Jackie scoffed playfully. “Right, ‘if’. Baby, you know you have that on lock, just like you got Veronica without breaking a sweat.”

“I broke many sweats, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

——

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Jan did receive a callback and, four days later, was incessantly refreshing the company’s website waiting for the cast list to be posted. The list was set to go up at nine in the morning, but she had been checking since a quarter to, just in case. “God, what’s taking so fucking long?”

Jackie watched, trying her hardest not to laugh. “Honey, it’s five after. Take a breath before you pop a blood vess–”

“It’s up!”

She rushed to her girlfriend’s side, hand gripping onto the back of the desk chair tight enough to turn her knuckles white. “Well?”

“I got Janet!”

The two of them jumped up in tandem, hugging and squealing in pure elation. “Oh my god!” Jan beamed, “this is so exciting!”

Jackie pressed kisses over Jan’s face, culminating with a tender kiss to the lips. “I knew you would get it. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank god I’m living with you now,” she mused out loud, “juggling this with classes, as excited as I am, I just know I’d let myself get way too overwhelmed and no one keeps me grounded like you do.” They had learned about this in the last few weeks before Heathers. Jan had been on the brink of a nervous breakdown and only Jackie had been able to talk her down.

“I’m happy to be that anchor for you,” Jackie smiled. “And if this ends up being like Heathers and you need help rehearsing the ‘sexy’ song…”

Jan giggled, hiding her face against the crook of Jackie’s neck. “Yeah? You’re gonna be my Rocky while I work on ‘Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me’? It’s a very different sexual energy than ‘Dead Girl Walking’.”

She tilted her head. “I don’t think they’re that different, but the end goal of using it as foreplay remains the same.”

“I can’t argue with that,” she conceded, sitting down on the bed. “Did you ever think this would be where we would end up after that night? When we thought we’d broken down a big wall by giving in to our unavoidable lust?”

“Not for a second,” Jackie admitted with a laugh, sitting beside her. “I hoped it was the start of something, but falling in love with you was never in the cards.”

Jan smiled and rested her head on Jackie’s shoulder. “Me neither. But I wouldn’t change a thing. The rollercoaster we were on brought us right to where we needed to be.”

“It did,” Jackie took Jan’s hand in her own and squeezed it. “It really did.” She looked up and out the window. “Do you think history will repeat itself again? That a few years down the line we’ll find our own pair of useless lesbians to play dysfunctional cupid with?”

She chuckled softly and shrugged. “I dunno. I remember Vanjie told me how once you’re in love, it’s easier to see it happen to other people. I guess anything is possible.”

[missjanjie]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) | (9/9)

Title: Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) Summary: A sequel to Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa are back at NYU, but with new and improved positions. Brooke’s ready to start her career as a professor when, as fate would have it, she realizes her TA, Jackie, might have the hots for a student named Jan. The couple just might see it as a sign to give two new girls the love story they found in the same place. Word Count: ~2.7k (this chapter) / 26,700 (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Jankie (Jan Sport/Jackie Cox) Rating: E

read on ao3 | ko-fi

Chapter Summary: We pick back up a few months after Jackie and Jan make their relationship official and Brooke Lynn and Vanessa set their sights on their future daughter. Everything finally falls into place.

-

Three Months Later

It was nearing the middle of January, in the midst of winter break. Katya, Jan, and Jackie were in Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s apartment, busily decorating and making sure every little thing was in place according to the couple’s specific instructions. This was the day they had been anticipating for quite some time, after all.

The three of them were setting up for a welcome home party, as while they were doing so, Brooke and Vanessa were on their way home with their daughter. The papers were signed, the documents were made official, they were finally going to officially welcome Ana Sofia into their family.

Although it did feel like they already had her – the moms-to-be had talked about her at length, read them every detail of her biography until they could recite it from memory. She was three years old, half-White and half-Puerto Rican – when the two of them read that on her file, they thought it had to be fate. The story of the girl’s parents wasn’t uncommon, but it was a situation they could feel sympathy towards – a nineteen-year-old girl had been in a relationship with a man nearly twice her age, who left once he found out about her pregnancy, only for the young mother to find out the father was leaving the country. With his wife.

Brooke Lynn and Vanessa had been contacted by the woman while they were in the midst of the adoption process. She was kind and soft-spoken and it was clear she had only wanted the best for her biological child. They had agreed to visit the idea of allowing a relationship between her and Ana Sofia when she was old enough.

“God, she looked so young,” Brooke Lynn had said once they had left the meeting. “Like, shit, she was Jan’s age when she had her… that’s how old you were when we met.”

“Can you imagine if I was pregnant when we met?” Vanessa asked, shaking her head.

“With the number of men you’ve threatened to castrate? No, not really.”

But even though they had gone through all of the preparation, had meticulously completed every step, the day of their new daughter’s arrival felt unreal. After the bedroom had been painted and carpeted, after all sorts of toys and stuffed animals had been purchased, after every inch of the apartment was childproofed, wrapping their heads around finally bringing their little girl home felt hard to do.

It wasn’t the first time they had met her, of course. They’d been having supervised visits for nearly two months. They had bonded with Ana Sofia, they loved her. She’d met the people in their lives – Jan, Jackie, Katya, she even got to meet Brooke’s mother when she visited for Christmas and Vanessa’s when they went there for New Year’s Eve.

“You ready to go inside?” Brooke gently asked the little girl, though she was the most nervous out of the three of them.

Ana Sofia looked up with her big, brown eyes and nodded, one hand holding Brooke’s and the other carrying the bright pink teddy bear they had bought for her. “Yeah!”

Vanessa opened the door to a cheerful greeting of ‘welcome home!’ and looked at the way her new daughter’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm. She carried Ana Sofia’s suitcases into her bedroom, letting the young girl run around and greet everyone. “Go on and make yourself comfy, Sofie,” she encouraged.

It didn’t take long for Sofie to get acclimated to the apartment she had already started to get used to, winding up on the couch with their cat on her lap.

“How are you guys feeling?” Katya asked the new mothers. She was calm in a way that would otherwise be unnerving, but without the normal ulterior motives, it was a welcome change.

“I haven’t been this excited since our wedding day,” Brooke replied with a broad grin, her arm looping around Vanessa’s waist. “It feels like this is what everything was leading up to. Like we’re finally whole.”

Vanessa nodded in agreement. “You shoulda seen her when we picked her up and told her she was coming home for good. You’d think we live in Disneyland or something,” she chuckled.

Katya grinned. “I can’t begin to tell you two how proud I am. You’ve come such a long way from two kids struggling to confront how they felt about each other, I don’t think I’d have ever predicted this.”

“We wouldn’t have been able to without your flagrant disregard for our personal boundaries, so thank you for that,” Brooke teased. “Though I guess we did learn from the best as far as that goes,” she added, cocking her head towards Jan and Jackie.

“They were worse than us, you gotta admit,” Vanessa chimed in.

“Yes,” she conceded, “which isn’t an easy task with what a nightmare you guys were. But I think they’re in it for the long haul too.”

Jan and Jackie were sitting with Ana Sofia on the couch, talking animatedly about all of the fun things they would be able to do, how much they were looking forward to babysitting her.

“We have to take her to a show at some point,” Jan mused, “maybe f-r-o-z-e-n,” she spelled it out, knowing better than to say it in front of a child and set her off in excitement.

Jackie chuckled softly in amusement. “Yeah, maybe for her birthday,” she mused, then looked down, clearing her throat. “Baby… can I talk to you privately for a moment?”

Jan’s brows knitted in concern, but she nodded and got up, following her girlfriend into the guest room. “What’s up?”

“I was gonna wait until later, but I can’t wait any longer,” she replied, rocking back and forth on her feet. She was always so careful with her words, especially with Jan. But she’d also learned from Jan that sometimes it was best to be direct. “I want you to move in with me.”

There was a beat of silence, a surprised Jan needed a moment to process what's been said. But then a broad grin spread across her lips and she nodded brightly. “Okay,” she threw her arms around Jackie, “I’d love to.”

Jackie’s entire body relaxed as a wave of relief washed over her. “Great. Amazing. Perfect. We can go back to your parents’ place to pack up your things whenever you’re ready. I mean, I don’t wanna rush you or anything, but I think it’d make sense before the semester–”

Jan cut her off by kissing her deeply. “Baby, I love you, but you talk way too fucking much when you’re overthinking,” she chuckled. “My parents will be thrilled to not have to pay for room and board, they’ll happily cover my share of the rent. We can go tomorrow or over the weekend, whatever,” she assured and kissed her again. “Just relax, we’re doing this. Everything is fine.”

“You’re right,” she exhaled, hugging her tightly. “I love you so much.”

Their tender moment was interrupted by a loud banging on the door. “Y’all better not be behaving inappropriately during my baby’s party!” Vanessa yelled.

Jan giggled and opened the door. “We’re not,” she promised, even though Jackie was blushing. “Actually… Jackie just asked me to move in with her.”

Vanessa’s scowl was instantly replaced by a bright grin. “For real? Congrats!” She turned to yell into the main room, “Brooke Lynn! Jan and Jackie are moving in together!” She then dragged the couple back out, holding each of them by the wrist, not that either of them were putting up any resistance. They both knew better than that.

Brooke looked up, chuckling warmly at the enthusiasm her wife had for the couple. “You guys are moving in together? Congrats. We’d offer to help but, you know, very busy with the new child.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll coerce Gigi and Crystal to help us. They can be bribed with weed and snacks,” Jan replied with a shrug and a light laugh.

“Oh, are we finally getting proof that Crystal exists?” Brooke asked with a light laugh. It had become something of an ongoing joke – Gigi talked about her all the time, often relentlessly, but none of them, other than Jan, had ever met Crystal. And even though Jan had, she liked to play along for the sole purpose of annoying her friend.

Jan laughed and nodded. “I promise we’ll FaceTime you when we have her here in the flesh.”

------

Jackie caught her breath as she came back upstairs after taking a pile of boxes to load up in the back of Jan’s father’s van. “I still can’t get over how nice your parents’ house is,” she remarked as the two of them sat on the floor of Jan’s bedroom, folding her clothes to pack into boxes. “I know you said your family was well off, but damn.”

Jan shrugged and awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s not something I try to make a big deal about,” she explained, then looked up when the door opened and let out a soft laugh. “There you are. We were starting to worry you two got lost.”

“In our defense,” Gigi said as she and Crystal walked in, “we’ve never made this commute before. And we warned you neither of us have any sense of direction.”

“The Amtrak and I are enemies now. But at least we got Krispy Kreme while we waited,” Crystal added cheerily.

Jackie chuckled lightly. “And you didn’t bring any? Rude,” she clicked her tongue then looked to Jan. “Don’t forget, we promised Brooke and Vanjie we’d call to let Gigi prove Crystal isn’t a figment of her imagination.”

“Can you really prove I’m not?”

Jan and Jackie giggled while Gigi rolled her eyes and waited for Jan to get her phone out, calling up Brooke Lynn on FaceTime.

“Hey hun,” Brooke greeted. She was sitting with Vanessa and Ana Sofia, the sound of cartoons playing in the background. “How’s the big move going?”

Jan pushed herself to her feet. “Can’t complain, we’re not making ourselves crazy considering it’s not too bad of a commute. For us, anyway,” she pointedly looked at Crystal and Gigi at the last part.

“Show us the imaginary girlfriend!” Vanessa interrupted, leaning further into frame. “Katya thinks it’s gonna be Jackie with a wig on.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Gigi muttered under her breath, taking the phone from Jan and holding it up so she and Crystal were in the frame. “Vanjie, Brooke, tiny child, this is my girlfriend, Crystal. Who does exist.”

Crystal laughed softly. “Wow, this really bothered you,” she observed. “Why didn’t you just FaceTime me sooner?”

“Because we woulda called you a hologram,” Vanessa retorted before Gigi could answer, eliciting laughter from Brooke as well as Jan and Jackie.

Gigi pouted and crossed her arms. “I hate all of you,” she muttered, then added, “except for the kid, she’s cool.” And with that, she hung up and handed the phone back to Jan.

Jan chuckled and put her phone away. “You’re so cranky,” she cooed, getting up and grabbing her purse. “Here, let me smoke you out now. It’s the least I could do,” she offered, placing a joint between Gigi’s pouting lips and lighting it, watching her friend relax and smoke in spite of herself.

Jackie watched in mild amusement before glancing down as her phone went off. “Aw, Jaida just got back from Milwaukee and Nicky was waiting for her at the airport,” she read off her phone, then held it up to show the selfie Jaida had taken of the two of them.

“Wonder whatever happened to Nicky’s ‘no dating until graduation’ rule,” Jan mused with a laugh as she went back to folding shirts and packing them away. “Or are they still ‘not putting a label on it’?”

“The latter,” she confirmed. “But I know Jaida, she’s not gonna put up with that forever. She called me out on my bullshit plenty and she’s not the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ type.”

“I just love that Nicky’s role in your life is essentially the girl that fucks the women closest to you. It feels like a metaphor or something. Frankly, I think you need to have sex with her just to bring it all full circle,” Gigi mused, to which Jackie responded by throwing a pair of jeans at her.

“Fuck off,” Jackie laughed. “I’d much rather her fuck my best friend than my girlfriend any day.”

Jan offered her a reassuring smile and nod. “There’s no plans on that happening again, don’t you worry… unless you want a threesome,” she joked.

“Hey Jan,” Crystal interrupted, “when do you hear back from that thing you auditioned for? What was it again?”

The calm smile on Jan’s lips shifted into a nervous one. She stopped folding, instead fiddling with the fabric in her hands. “It’s an official shadow cast production for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a solid five week stint. The website is posting callbacks on Thursday morning, then they post who made the final cut I think… four days after that.”

Jackie scoffed playfully. “Right, ‘if’. Baby, you know you have that on lock, just like you got Veronica without breaking a sweat.”

“I broke many sweats, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

------

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Jan did receive a callback and, four days later, was incessantly refreshing the company’s website waiting for the cast list to be posted. The list was set to go up at nine in the morning, but she had been checking since a quarter to, just in case. “God, what’s taking so fucking long?”

Jackie watched, trying her hardest not to laugh. “Honey, it’s five after. Take a breath before you pop a blood vess–”

“It’s up!”

She rushed to her girlfriend’s side, hand gripping onto the back of the desk chair tight enough to turn her knuckles white. “Well?”

“I got Janet!”

The two of them jumped up in tandem, hugging and squealing in pure elation. “Oh my god!” Jan beamed, “this is so exciting!”

Jackie pressed kisses over Jan’s face, culminating with a tender kiss to the lips. “I knew you would get it. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank god I’m living with you now,” she mused out loud, “juggling this with classes, as excited as I am, I just know I’d let myself get way too overwhelmed and no one keeps me grounded like you do.” They had learned about this in the last few weeks before Heathers. Jan had been on the brink of a nervous breakdown and only Jackie had been able to talk her down.

“I’m happy to be that anchor for you,” Jackie smiled. “And if this ends up being like Heathers and you need help rehearsing the ‘sexy’ song…”

Jan giggled, hiding her face against the crook of Jackie’s neck. “Yeah? You’re gonna be my Rocky while I work on ‘Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me’? It’s a very different sexual energy than ‘Dead Girl Walking’.”

She tilted her head. “I don’t think they’re that different, but the end goal of using it as foreplay remains the same.”

“I can’t argue with that,” she conceded, sitting down on the bed. “Did you ever think this would be where we would end up after that night? When we thought we’d broken down a big wall by giving in to our unavoidable lust?”

“Not for a second,” Jackie admitted with a laugh, sitting beside her. “I hoped it was the start of something, but falling in love with you was never in the cards.”

Jan smiled and rested her head on Jackie’s shoulder. “Me neither. But I wouldn’t change a thing. The rollercoaster we were on brought us right to where we needed to be.”

“It did,” Jackie took Jan’s hand in her own and squeezed it. “It really did.” She looked up and out the window. “Do you think history will repeat itself again? That a few years down the line we’ll find our own pair of useless lesbians to play dysfunctional cupid with?”

She chuckled softly and shrugged. “I dunno. I remember Vanjie told me how once you’re in love, it’s easier to see it happen to other people. I guess anything is possible.”

[idkanymoreaboutlife]

Soo I’ve never written for anything but anime and some tv shows, but I wanted to try my hand at writing some Dewey Finn fanfiction. He’s definitely out of character and I think I’ve definitely could’ve done better but I think with writing him more it’ll get better. Sorry for the ranting, anyways here’s what I wrote. Also, I’m on mobile so I can’t do the whole ‘read more’, I apologize for that.

Goth girl next door

Dewey couldn’t stand his neighbor. Every Friday-Sunday night at 10 o’clock loud, heavy metal music come from the thin walls next door. He absolutely hated them, granted he never met the person before, but, from the lack of sleep every weekend for the past 2 months and the constant bass thumping into his head at 12 am, he has a right to hold hatred to his neighbor. Don’t get him wrong, at first he enjoyed the music coming from the apartment. But it became apparent that this neighbor only listened to same genre; heavy metal. Dewey didn’t mind at first, he recognized a few artists like Alice In Chains ana Godsmack, but then the screaming came. God, he couldn’t nt stand hearing those deep, growling songs piercing his ears at midnight. Yes, he’s a lover of music and a self proclaimed rock god, but..it became annoying to hear the same music every weekend.

Monday morning came and Dewey sat at his desk, nursing his 3rd cup of coffee in the past 2 hours. As the kids filed into the room they passed concerned glances at Dewey. Sure, they’re used to seeing him tired and out of it on some mornings but today he looked more haggard than ever. His usually messy hair was in more of disarray, heavy bags weighed underneath his eyes and yawns kept escaping his mouth every few minutes. The kids sat in their seats and talked amongst themselves about the shell of their normally upbeat teacher. Summer took charge of the discussion, asking the others what could possibly have their teacher become like this.

“Maybe he got kicked out of his apartment?” Katie mused.

“No, he would be stressed but he still would’ve been active.” Summer commented back

“Girl troubles?” Zack spouted out, almost everyone gave a soft giggle.

“Oh definitely not that.” Summer replied.

“The last girl trouble he had was with Ms. Mullins and we all know how that went.” Alicia said, rolling her eyes.

“Well I don’t know what it could be, he never acted like this.” Summer huffed out, falling back into her seat, crossing her arms.

“Why don’t we ask him?” Tomika spoke up, her soft voice filling the silence that fell upon the students. They agreed and the students piled up to Dewey’s desk. Summer taking the lead at the front. He looked up from his notes for the day, giving a small tired smile at them.

“What’s up guys? You just gotta give me like 5 minutes and then we’ll start.” Summer put her hands on the desk, leaning forward.

“You’re acting strange, what’s wrong?” She asked, a stern lay over her voice. He gave her an odd look.

“What? Nothings wrong” ,he gave a weak chuckle, “ I had a long night with papers.”

“You’re terrible at lying Mr. Finn.” Summer said, rolling her eyes. He gave a sigh and rubbed his eyes, giving a yawn before speaking.

“My neighbor plays heavy metal every weekend all night long and I can’t sleep because of it.”

“Why don’t you just talk with them? Communication is key!” Katie said.

“Yeah! Whenever my parents get into an argument, they talk it out.” Billy chimes in. Dewey chuckled and leaned back in his chair.

“I never spoke with them before, ever since they moved in they’ve been doing this. No one else has compliments so.”

“You still have to talk with them or else it’s never going to be resolved.” Summer interjected. Dewey nodded and gave them a tired smile.

“Well I guess after class I’ll have a chat with them.” The students being satisfied with his answer, went back to their seats.

When school ended Dewey headed back to his van, getting into the drivers side and putting his messenger bag on the cluttered passenger seat. Sighing he started the van, turning on the radio to the classic rock channel and pulling out of he parking lot, back to his apartment. He drove slower than he normally would, not excited about heading home and confronting his neighbor about their music habits. He went over in his head how he’ll talk to them.

“Hey I’m your next door neighbor, your music is shit..no that sounds harsh. Hey I’m Dewey Finn, your neighbor, could you like..not play metal at ungodly hours?..no, no that’s too forward.” He sighed to himself, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove, trying to come up with a good starter.

“Maybe just start a conversation? And lead into it? Yeah that sounds good Dewey, wing it man.” He gave himself a quick affirmation nod and pulled into his parking space at the front of the building. Turning the ignition off he grabbed his bag and left the car, heading up to his apartment.

He stood at the door to his neighbors, amping himself up to knock at the dark wood door. Shaking the nervous jitters out in his hand he raises his fist, rapping on the door a few soft times. He hears footsteps drawing near the door, the chain unhooking from the lock and the door opening some. He went to speak but his words got caught in his throat. There stood a girl, mid 20s with knotted hair tied up in a bun on the top of her head, black smudged eyeshadow and eyeliner, smeared from not being taken off the night before. She wore an off the shoulder long sleeved shirt, some metal band plastered on the front, the hint of pajama shorts peeking out from underneath it. She stared blankly at Dewey.

“Can I help you?” She asked, her voice carrying into the hallway. He snapped himself out of his daze and closed his mouth, offering a quick smile.

“Hey um, im your neighbor uh Dewey, Dewey Finn..” he said, giving a small wave. She gave him a once over of his long sleeved yellow dress shirt and way too snug vest. She sighed.

“Okay, I’m y/n. What do you want.”

“Um oh you play your music uh really loud on the weekends and uh I’m a teacher, and I would really appreciate it if you didn’t play it..so loud..or as much.” She blinked at him.

“I don’t think so.” She went to close the door but he caught it with his foot, she gave him a glare of annoyance.

“We-well why not? I think it’s pretty reasonable thing to ask somebody.”

“Listen, I have work in a few hours, you’re more than welcome to go to the landlord and file your complaint. But I don’t have time for this.” She huffed and moved to kick his foot away, he stopped her by talking again.

“I get it, I do but I need my sleep but I can’t get any if you’re playing your music, horrible taste by the way, at 3 am!” His voice rose uncharacteristically, becoming annoyed by this woman being immature.

“I’m so sorry for that, let me just throw out my guitar and speaker. God forbid I have a hobby.” Her eyes rolled and she let out a dry chuckle. He stared at her, guitar?

“You play the guitar?” He spoke near a whisper.

“Yeah? That’s what I just said. Listen, can you leave now?”

“Oh um yeah, but uh can I see your setup?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Seems like a second date question.” Chuckling to herself she opened her door up more. Before he could walk in, she stopped him.

“Five minutes, that’s it.” He nodded and followed her into the small space, closing the door behind him. Walking more into the apartment, he saw a black guitar with stickers covering it, on a stand near the window. An amp next to it with as many stickers at the guitar. Her apartment was relatively clean, save for the coffee table being littered with takeout boxes and beer bottles. He walked over to the guitar and brushed his hand over the neck.

“Is this a Fender Stratocaster?” He looked at her in amazement. She nodded and leaned herself on the couch arm.

“Yep, my dad got it for me a couple years back.”

“Wow, I’m amazed.” He looked back at the guitar, looking at all the stickers that covered the once mahogany body.

“Do you play?” She asked him, coming over to stand on the other side of him. He nodded.

“I was in a band before, now I teach kids about rock theory and how to play classic.”

“Do you wanna try it out?” He looked at her like a kid in a candy store.

“Really?”

“Yeah, knock yourself out.” She pulled the amp in and connected the cord to the body of the guitar, messing with the dials on the amp.

“Go ahead.” He picked up he guitar and out the strap over his shoulders, strumming out a few cords to test, smiling at the sound that resounded from it. He plucked out a few more strings before strumming into the opening cords to Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin. She watched him with a smile, arms crossed as she watched him getting into the zone. His body started swaying to the music, heading the vocals in his head as he played on. As he finished the first 3 minutes of it, he stopped, putting the guitar back on the stand.

“You’re good, I’ll give you that.” She smiled at him. He gave a small blush and scratched the back of his head.

“Oh you know, I dabble here and there.” They gave a soft laugh together. “Sooo, you think you can tone down the music on the weekends?” He asked, puppy dog eyes in play. She gave a roll of her eyes and sighed.

“I can definitely try and tone it down, no promises.” She walked him back to the front door, opening it for him as he stepped back out of the apartment.

“Great! Um..I mean thanks, I appreciate that.” He smiled and turned to walk away but paused, turning to look at her.

“What time do you finish your shift tonight?” She gave him an odd look.

“We close at 12, I’ll be home at 1.”

“Cool, you wanna grab a drink afterwards? I know a great place.” He smiled at her as she stared at him. Giving a nod.

“Sounds good, it’s a date.” She said her goodbyes and closed the door. He broke out into a grin, giving a small fist bump to the air as he went down the hall back to his apartment. Definitely worth the sleepless nights he thought.

[ppersonna]

cherry flavored - pjm | teaser

written for be my bangtanvine collab , lead by the illustrious @kimtaehyunq​ (mywifee) and full of incredible writers who im so excited to work with.

i hope you enjoy this teaser and the cameo appearances by some special ladies ;)))

coming february 8th

“I came into work this morning and found a rose on my desk with a note,” you explain, pulling the note out of your purse. “And some cherry candies.”

Viola quickly grabs the note and looks it over while Yuna leans into her for a better look.

“Does it say from who?” Ana asks, curiously trying to peek over the note.

Viola shakes her head and hands it over to Ana to examine for herself.

“It just says ‘from your secret admirer’”, you lament. “I can’t figure out the handwriting! It's so pretty!”

“Damn, they’re good,” Ana states as she snacks on her lunch and reads through the note. “‘Do you think about me as much as I think about you?’ Wow, this man is sprung.”

“Clearly it’s someone who knows about your obsession with cherry candy,” Viola muses.

Yuna laughs and takes a bite of her lunch. 

“Honestly, Viola—at this point, the entire western hemisphere knows about that.”

“Hey,” you huff. “That’s not true.”

It is true. You keep a fully stocked jar of cherry flavored hard candies on your desk. So what? You’re human, aren’t you allowed one (or more) vice(s)?

Ever the detective, Viola presses you for more. “Has anyone acted differently towards you?” 

Thoughtfully, you muse over any change in behavior. It’s definitely someone you work with. No one else would know where your desk is. 

“Hm,” you think aloud. “Hoseok stopped to talk to me for like, five extra seconds this morning when I made coffee. Do you think it could be him?”

Ana nearly spits out her drink.

“It better not fucking be!” 

All three turn to look at her curiously.

“I mean, I--,” she tries to backpedal her outburst but falls short. “I just want that guy so bad. Please, let me have him.”

You can’t help but laugh as you wrap an arm around Ana.

“Don’t worry. I like Hoseok but not like that.”

“Plus, the eyes he makes at you tell me he wants you too,” Viola quips. 

Yuna stares at Viola for a moment, unblinking. “The way you know everything is actually terrifying sometimes.”

Viola simply smiles knowingly, then turns her gaze back to you. “So tell us, who do you want it to be?”

The nervous, blooming color on your cheeks gives you away.

“Ah, umm—I don’t know,” you murmur.

Your best friends eye you, all fully aware you definitely know who you want it to be.

“So you definitely wouldn’t care if it was from Jimin--,” Viola starts, but you’re quick to shush her as the blush on your face deepens.

“Viola! Not so loud!”

Yuna laughs and pats your hand. “It’s cute how you think you’re good at hiding anything from us.”

“Okay, maybe I have a crush on Jimin,” you whisper his name extra softly. “But he does not see me that way. He’s one of my best friends! He comes over to make me dinner once a week because he thinks I’ll set fire to my apartment if he doesn’t. He thinks I’m totally inept.”

Viola smiles her omniscient pearly-white smile. “Yes, a man who willingly gives up four hours a week to cook for a woman definitely has no ulterior motives. You’re right—silly me.”

[teaandatale]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @geekynerddemon​

You asked for some of my long lost fic, so I dug around in my unpublished fic files to the first Steggy fic I ever wrote back in 2015. I never was able to finish it, and the writing didn’t ever feel quite up to snuff to post, so it’s sat shelved the past five year (wow, it’s been five years?). So enjoy a dusted off two excerpts from my first foray into all things Steggy. For some context, this means it was written prior to a lot of what we’ve come to know in the MCU, with mostly an emphasis on CATFA and season 1 of Agent Carter.

Untitled 1949 Steggy Fic

Premise: In the early days of SHIELD, recently moved to a D.C. headquarters, Steve Rogers is found, alive, four years after being presumed dead. Steve finds it difficult to transition back to the life of living. Peggy lives a busy life as a Director of SHIELD, and having said her goodbye to Steve on the Brooklyn Bridge some years past, she finds reconciling his return harder than she imagined. There’s a new power dynamic, the logistics of bringing back a presumed dead person, and enough emotions to cause anyone’s temper to boil.

In sum, Steve and Peggy are idiots at dealing with their feelings, when they should be rejoicing in having a second chance. And of course, it’s not the 1940s without Howard Stark causing some drama.

Keep Reading Below The Cut For Two Scenes

*Scene 1:

"I think I want to stay here for a while." Steve interrupts Howard's stream of plans.

"Rogers, you've been wanting fresh air. Come on, a nice restaurant, some drinks, some music, you'll feel much better."

"I want to talk to Peggy some more."

Howard sighs. "You might be waiting a while."

Steve didn't budge. "Not as long as I made her wait."

"Alright. Fine." Howard reaches in his pocket for a card and scribbles on the back of it. "Come by my place whenever you're ready. If you need a ride or can't get a hold of me call Jarvis at this number."

"Thanks Howard."

"Don't mention it. Good luck."

Steve stays down in one of Stark's labs for a while, reading some of the files and news articles about all the things he's missed since he went down in the plane. Stark's secretary is helpful, quiet, and kind about answering some of his pressing questions about SHIELD and as subtly as he can about Director Carter. It's about six when she informs him that Peggy's returned to her office, catching up on her paperwork. He thanks her for all her help and slips upstairs where the desks and workstations are quiet. Only a few Agents are left on shift but he sees the light on in Peggy's office, files sprawled atop her desk on both sides of her typewriter. Steve walks over and stands quietly in her open doorway as he waits for her to appear from behind the file she’s reading.

"Were the accommodations not to your liking?" Peggy asks without lifting her head from the file. When Steve doesn't answer right away she sets the file down and looks up at what she reads as surprise on Steve's face. "It's been a while I admit, but I quite remember the sound of your gait, Captain Rogers. I hope you don't expect you can easily sneak up on a Director of an intelligence agency.”

"I wasn't trying to sneak up on you." Steve says and takes a seat in a chair near the doorway, pushing it to the left enough so that Peggy is right in his line of sight. He revels in her brown eyes meeting his, willing her to not look away.

Peggy indulges him for a few moments before picking up her file and then a pen. "You didn't answer my question. Is Stark's offer not suitable? Other arrangements can be made."

"I appreciate Stark allowing me to stay with him." Steve replies.

Peggy raises an eyebrow. "And yet you are still here."

Steve shrugs with a small smile and bright blue eyes she so constantly reminisced over the years. "As are you Director."

 She snorts. "Yes, well some of us have paperwork to finish."

 "I can wait," he says and pulls out the day's newspaper from his back pocket and starts to read before Peggy can protest.

She bites her lip and watches him for a moment, studying the concentration in his eyes. He looked more comfortable now that he was in a more substantial outfit: khaki slacks and a plain white button up over his white undershirt. It made his presence in her office more real. Steve Rogers, alive from the dead, and refusing to vacate SHIELD to read a newspaper in her office. The itch she felt in the morning was eating her alive again.

Peggy had no desire to kick him out, even if she didn't particularly want him watching her fill out paperwork for the next several hours. She wanted to know exactly why he wasn't out enjoying his freedom with Howard. She wanted to punch him and hug him. And oh, how it made her heart tighten. Instead she continues working diligently in the quiet room, filled with only the occasional sound of him sifting through the paper and her pen scratching.

She makes it through another half an hour before she doesn’t have the heart or the will to keep him at arm's length anymore. He was clearly, for some unknown reason, determined to stay in her company.

She sets her pen down with a sign. "Have you at least had dinner yet?"

Steve immediately looks up at her. "No ma'am."

She purses her lips at his formal address but says nothing.

"Not quite ready for loud, showy fine dining with Howard?" Peggy muses.

"The last thing I can remember eating, outside of the food here, were rations," Steve replies while rubbing a hand at the back of his neck.

Peggy can’t help but smile. "I think you'll rather enjoy going back to a full menu. You'll finally be able to eat as much as your improved metabolism requires."

Steve blushes gently at that, realizing that she had been aware of his eating habits during the war. Thinking back, he can remember Peggy handing off extra rations whenever she possibly could. Peggy always did know him well.

"It was fine." Steve was never one to ask for more.

"Well we can't have you starve. Are you committed to staying in this office or just by my side?"

Steve flushes again but as she was looking directly at him he did not back down from accepting what she was offering. "Some place quiet?"

"Some place quiet," Peggy agreed with a nod. We'll need to find you a coat. Maybe a hat."

 *Scene 2:

Steve is lying in his bed the next day, moping, when Ana gently knocks at his door announcing that he has a dinner guest. He is surprised to see Peggy standing in the front room given their last interaction. He barged into her office and when he wasn't getting the response he wanted he was rude to Peggy. To Peggy. Who has always been his ally. His friend. The shame crept in again.

"Hello, Steve." Peggy is smiling. The confusion on his face must show because she continues. "I took the night off," she explains.

Ana suggests they head to the lounge in the guest wing and then rushes away to the kitchen for dinner. Steve leads the way, opening the door for her and then belatedly asking to take her coat. As she shrugs out of it he adds her blue and red dress to his mental inventory.

"I hear you came in rather late last night," Peggy says. "How far did you run?"

Steve shrugs. "I'm not sure. I think about fifteen miles out and fifteen back. I needed it though."

 "I understand." She’s still smiling easily.

They sit in armchairs across from each other.

"Peggy, I would like to apologize for my behavior last night. I was upset and I took it out on you. You did not deserve that."

Peggy shakes her head. "Steve, you've had one hell of a week. An actually life changing week. I know you're still adjusting." Her voice is just as he remembers its being. Strong and assuring.

"It's just- I'm so frustrated! And I don't mean to be.".

Ana knocks on the door and quietly places cups of tea on the table. And then they are alone. Peggy gestures to the table. Once they sit behind their plates Peggy reaches her hand out to touch Steve's arm. He feels the hair in the spot she touches shoot up, warmth spreading through him. "Steve, tell me what's been keeping you frustrated." He feels his eyes water but his heart lighten. And Peggy keeps her hand steady on him for a few long moments.

They talk long after their plates have emptied, Steve's for the second time. He vents his frustrations of feeling like a man out of place, not content to not being able to rely on his own resources. She listens raptly so he continues. They move back to the armchairs and Steve asks her a lot of questions and she answers all of them. He's been piecing together information from what he's read or overheard that it is nice to finally hear the full story from a reliable source.

The only thing Steve leaves untouched is Peggy herself. He can't get himself to ask about her personal life. Nor does it feel appropriate to bring up the date he missed, the one he was desperate for now. Besides how could he ask for more when his best girl is sitting so close to him right now.

It's hours later when Peggy stands suddenly from her chair but Steve doesn't even have a chance to be disappointed. "Oh, I brought you something. I'll be right back."

 "Can I bring you another cup of tea? Or a drink?"

She smiles at him so warmly. "Tea would be lovely, Steve."

Peggy is already back in the Lounge when Steve comes back with the tray of tea and dessert.

She arches an eyebrow. "Is that all for you or am I allowed a piece?"

Steve blushes. "I brought it for you."

She laughs, amusement filling her face. "I'm teasing Steve. Although I do remember you having a bit of a sweet tooth." She grabs an eclair and urges him to try one. He's mesmerized by the chocolate left at the edge of her lips and the way her tongue pokes out to clear it all in a flash.

She puts a plain box onto his lap and leans forward. "I'm sorry it took a while, but I finally managed to get most of your belongings back. We managed to save the contents of your footlocker, the Howlies and I, before they cleared it out, but then things like your dress uniform were sent back to the U.S. Army. Other than your suit and shield, which Howard has locked safe, I think I brought most of it."

Steve opens the lid careful, fingers gently carding over the top of his personal belongings as his eyes took inventory. A few photos, of him and Bucky. His dog tags. A makeshift sketchbook he flipped through, with a picture of a dancing monkey tucked inside. There's an old Captain America comic he only kept because Bucky and the boys wrote dumb jokes and sketches into the margins. He looks through it all until he comes to the compass he assumed had been lost. He flicks it open, glad to see the photo of Peggy was only a little worn, studies it for a moment and immediately put it in his pocket for safe keeping. Peggy herself had been drinking her tea looking resolutely away in some semblance of privacy.