#↝ 🐇 𝚊 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 ( verse 005 )

[splittinghares]

PARADOX DETECTED. REQUESTING SUITABLE HOST. PARADOX DETECTED. REQUESTING SUIT — SCANNING. SUITABLE HOST LOCATED.

content warnings: horror, acts of violence, unaliving, unreality, generally just an absolute mess. please read with caution. never does this get too terribly graphic, but the story elements alone are fairly disturbing.

you've destroyed us. you've destroyed everything. i don't know if you're EVIL, or just stupid!

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, ENGINEER.

when thinking in infinities, 'unlikely' is just certainty waiting for its turn.

THE CAPTAIN not hare, never again is what happens when what typically bends decides it's finally time to break. no matter how low the chances are for particular events to occur, there will still be somewhere, someone that experiences these terribly unlucky, no-good, very-bad thing. THE CAPTAIN IS THAT THING. this is when you should take off running. because people who get in the captain's way quickly, desperately wish that they had never so much has locked eyes with whatever they are.

the consequences of beating a typically gracious person down over and over and over and over again are the consequences that saw themselves handed down onto the crew of the invincible ii. drowning under the onslaught of insults, blame, guilt, death being loaded onto their shoulders, the viewer — rather than allow this to inspire them to seek a solution — elected to do something nuclear different.

YOU THINK I'M THE BAD GUY? YOU THINK I'M A BAD CAPTAIN? FINE. IF THAT'S MY ROLE, LET ME PLAY IT.

THE HEAD ENGINEER IS SAVED FOR LAST. the captain is ignorant to his pleas. captain, what are you doing? captain? wait, captain, you aren't really going to — CAPTAIN! the invincible ii employs quite the staff. the captain takes great joy in how quickly their smiles and polite greetings are reduced to screams, wails, apologies. YOU'RE ONLY SORRY YOU WERE RIGHT.

it isn't a simple process. but the handy little toy they'd taken from the abyss he, YOU! IT WAS ALWAYS YOU, MARK! stuck them in with his pathetic incompetence certainly helps. THE CAPTAIN MAKES A PERFECT HOST. the crackle of the warp core's power beneath their skin makes them feel more alive than they ever have. an unstoppable force meets an invincible object. too bad it's not really invincible, huh, mark? another lie weak things tell themselves.

CAPTAIN, THINK OF THE COLONISTS! of course they do! the captain makes sure each and every colonist gets exactly the rest they deserve. sweet dreams! ( what were they all talking about? — the captain helped you find your way to a new land, after all! ) the head engineer is being extremely annoying by this point. you'd think he would've given up by now. TAKE A PAGE FROM YOUR OWN BOOK AND LET GO!

but he doesn't. the captain isn't surprised, not really — just tired of his yammering. his ugly, streaming tears, his babbles for mercy, his incessant questions. when every other light on that ship has been snuffed out apart from their daring duo, the head engineer meekly asks if it's his turn.

THE CAPTAIN CAN'T HELP BUT LAUGH. they laugh, and stuff the head engineer into the singular cryo pod they had not smashed through. he pounds on the glass. the captain does not care, simply watching until he stills under the affects of the pod. no, mark, you can't die! — if you did that, you'd just come back, and you might try and get in the captain's way again. and they really would rather you didn't. they'd really like it if they just never saw your face ever again.

the captain leaves that empty husk of a universe to its sole occupant.

PARADOX RESOLVED.

with a singular warp core left behind, all is as it should be. all the better, really, to keep the head engineer exactly where the captain wants him — can't have the universe failing and letting him loose.

the warp core gives the captain all of the might they could want, and frees them of the control of story. it could almost be sweet. it could almost be exactly what hare deserved. too bad they aren't here to see it.

the captain is someone who is fiercely protective of what they have taken by force. their sole desire is to be free, and to be able to live the life that they want. typically, if left undisturbed, the captain would settle down on the edge of some reality, away from other people, and live out the rest of their days in peace. but so few stories are so peaceful. for those who find themselves in the company of the captain, they do not inherently wish you ill-will. however, they will not tolerate your questions, your requests, nor your accusations. if you get in their way, they will not hesitate. they are not your friend. they are not your enemy. such terms are far too storybook for them. but most of all, THEY ARE NOT HARE. and they never will be again.

final notes: honestly this disclaimer is practically unnecessary given how lovely my moots are, and how i trust all of you to take care of yourselves, but i'm saying it anyway: it is purely because of the captain's temperament, their penchant for cruelty, && their frankly catty personality, that the captain is something i use selectively / upon request. i say this in the kindest way possible, but do not initiate with captain unless you are willing to risk things getting dark. i am happy to roleplay with captain — that's why they're here, after all! — but i need people to understand that they are not the same animal, by far, that hare is. anyway. thank you for reading this far. i really hope that people find captain interesting, because i am definitely eager to play around with them. ily all!

[splittinghares]

@pleasuretomeetme asked: Jonas grins. There’s a thin lock of freshly-bleached hair dangling over his forehead. “ I dare you to let me do a pink stripe in your hair. ” [ truth or dare time! ]

MABEL'S FRECKLED NOSE CRINKLES, a reluctant sort of smile curling at the corners of their lips. it's so hard for them to resist indulging you, even when you're being a total idiot. they're sat upon the bathroom counter, watching you fuss with your hair, both of you unbothered by the heavy chemical smell. changing your appearances is something the two of you have enjoyed doing, creating your own unique styles that defy who you used to be, who they tried to make you be. they support your experimenting with your hair color — their own hair felt different enough with a chop and its natural blonding, so they haven't really felt moved to do more.

after a few moments of contemplation, the captain finds themself rather lacking in reasons to refuse you. it seems fun enough, after all, and they aren't exactly the type to back down from a challenge. they sift through their thick hair, pulling it forward, untucking it from their ears so that the strands hang in a way that's more available to you. "just don't fuck it up," is their answer, wry and knowing, already aware that you'll be careful but unable to keep their fingers off of your pulse. "if i end up looking ugly, i'll shave all of your hair off in your sleep."

[splittinghares]

@pleasuretomeetme asked: Jonas sends a paper airplane zooming across the room to bounce off of Captain’s back. The moment they turn to him with a raised brow, he grins, flopping down further onto the couch as he continues to regard them. “ You’re the only person who really gets me, y’know? All this pointless story bullshit, dragging everyone in circles. ”

He spins a finger over his head. “ I’d say you’re the big pair of scissors that cut me out of it, but I guess we really gave each other a pair. It’s nice. You’re the only bastard I’d let beat me at twister for the rest of our lives. ” They put their hands on their hips and Jonas’ grin widens. With air quotes, he repeats, “‘Let’ beat me at twister. ”

He lands on his back on the couch. “ Just you fuckin’ wait, I’ll find a game I’m better than you at. ”

[ tell my muse why you care about them ]

THE CAPTAIN had not taken apart the invincible piece by piece, life by life, in your name. to say such a thing would be not only discredit the captain, but the affect that the crew upon it ( some above others ) had on their state. however, to pretend that the actions of the person you were before did not leave a mark upon the person they were before — that would be just as untrue. the shadows of who these two were, in tandem, cast light onto the people they are now.

if they were to be honest with themself, they did not imagine a life lived alongside someone else when they walked out of that shattered story and into the world beyond. but there you were. there you were. you were new. and so were they.

you are the only person that can mock them as they are now. the paper airplane is kicked away, towards the bin of other creations of a similar nature — the two of you have filled up boxes with paper animals, many-sided shapes, tiny stars. they can't help but feel their annoyance ebb into fondness as you continue. they are capable of great anger. but this is not one of those times.

your words leave a mark on them that makes them feel vulnerable. while they are capable of feeling vulnerable around you, it still isn't an easy thing to do. every cell in their body resists the idea of being weak. it's reflexive, really, their attitude, as they reply with a dismissive, "maybe you'd have better luck making up a game of your own. that way, you could stack the odds. actually give yourself a chance."

there's a pause as you huff, clearly unhurt but ready to act grumpy for the sake of it. the captain watches you for a moment.

the sheaf of paper sitting upon your chest is discarded to make room. limbs tangle together as they nudge their head in underneath of your chin. you breathe in deeply, and you can smell the crisp scent of their favored shampoo. they weigh very little, despite the obvious musculature you can feel as you stroke your hand over their back, shifting to embrace them, keep them close.

"you're my favorite bastard, too, i guess." you can feel them smiling against your shirt.

[splittinghares]

@pleasuretomeetme asked: ❤️+🖤 [ ❤️+🖤 positive & negative traits meme ]

captain seems to ponder their answer for a moment, staring intently into your eyes. their gaze weighs heavily on most, but not you. in fact, they find themselves satisfied when their wide-eyed look finally cracks the serious face you’ve put-upon, and you succumb to laughter.

they lean back in their seat. “you let me do whatever i want,” captain says, cheekily, accepting the dig of your boot beneath the table. it’s well-earned. “fine, fine. you’re pretty much the only person i can stand. and it’s because you’re special. we understand each other in ways everyone else could never.”

a pause, as they consider you. “but you’re a fucking blanket-stealer.”

the chair is knocked out from beneath them as you tackle them to the floor for a wrestling match. captain lets you win, this once.

[splittinghares]

anonymous asked: Hello, Captain. Could I bother you for a truth? What is your favorite pastime, now that you're out of the loop? [ truth or dare time! ]

THE CAPTAIN IS, INDEED, BOTHERED. they, quite literally, have no interest in entertaining questions like this. they feel pried at, overly seen. they don't appreciate having an audience. but here you are, and there is your question, and they suppose they need to answer it.

"i really like food." mostly things with strong tastes, things that are exciting and flavorful. they love sour candies, they're not at all intimidated by spice. "watch a lot of movies, too. mostly the bad ones." they can get behind a good book, sometimes. but it depends on what it's about. they loathe a romance. "mostly, i just keep to myself. it's nice to be able to sit around and do nothing, for once. i'm taking it slow. i'm tired of fast-paced. i'm tired of always having to do something, always needing to be somewhere." their eyes travel over you, from the top of your head to the soles of your shoes. " ... always having to answer to someone."

their eyes narrow. you suspect it might be best to back off, now.

[splittinghares]

anonymous asked: captain, truth. did all of them really deserve it? [ truth or dare time! ]

warning: i normally wouldn't put these at the top for an ask but i feel like i have to for this one. please be advised that this ask discusses a pet being unalived. there is also a lot of aggressive + negative language directed at animals, specifically dogs, in general.

THE CAPTAIN WATCHES AS YET ANOTHER HAPLESS, HOPELESS HUMAN COUPLE MARCHES PAST THE CAFE WINDOW. the tiny wooden stirrer they've dropped into their cup of tea threatens to snap between their fingers as the two pause before exiting their sight. what delays them, to the captain's visible distaste, is how eagerly their large, boorish dog is sniffing at the potted plants that decorate the cafe's stoop. they're laughing, clearly amused by their beast's stupidity.

they try to ignore the way their stomach twists when the thing lifts its gaze and those black, thoughtless eyes meet theirs. the creature barks. it fucking barks, and the stirrer splits in two, the lower half disappearing beneath the surface of their earl grey. they feel the way their lips form a snarl, and the only thing that keeps them from losing this little staring contest of theirs is the fact that the owner of the dog tugs on its leash. the captain sees as the owner says something, though they cannot hear it through the window, and the mangy little shit is redirected.

even as the trio finally leave the captain's sight, the look on that dog's face seems burned into the backs of their eyelids. they pinch the bridge of their nose. a migraine is starting to develop. they knew they shouldn't've come here. not right now, not when they've been feeling like this. it was just a dumb fucking animal, why were they letting it bother them? they had far more important things to worry about than some pathetic, brainless little mutt.

GUILT IS AN UGLY LOOK ON YOU, CAPTAIN!

they have to get out of here. they don't look too hard at the bill they leave on the table, uncaring if it's too hefty for their meager tab. their cup is trashed with shaking hands, the captain unrepentant as they elbow a stranger out of the way so they can get to the door.

every time they so much as blink, THEY SEE HER. it stabs like a knife between the ribs, whether they want it to or not. a few steps more, and they're out in the middle of a field, away from civilization. lost amongst fields of tall grasses and weeds, they collapse into the brush, clutching at the dirt with gloved hands and asking the space between them and the earth why, why, why?! they can find even an ounce of affection for a STUPID FUCKING DOG!

as the tears begin to sting at the corners of their eyes, they can't help but remember hers. they recall all other members of the crews' helpless, hapless looks so fondly. but hers? they would lie if you asked, but they'd made it quick. painless and swift in a way that none of the others had been. they would never tell you how it'd been a mercy, because sparing her would have meant slow and agonizing starvation, and keeping her would have meant dredging up a kind of affection they could not find themself capable of for any being on that ship, even her.

did they all deserve it, you ask? no, she didn't.

THE CAPTAIN SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS, to the point where they ache from the strain.

they do not regret what they did. they will never apologize. they will never wish that they could go back and alter the past. but to pretend that there was not even a single cost would be a lie, and you have forced the truth.

[splittinghares]

@rosetintedgunman asked: Wilford sits down near Captain. "Hey. Got a truth fer ya. An' really, it's 'cause I'm nosy more than anythin' else. Ya were caught in stories an' loops fer so long… Do ya any sorta bucket list of things ya wanna do now that ya can?" [ truth or dare time! ]

THE CAPTAIN'S SCOWL MAKES IT VERY CLEAR HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT YOUR PRESENCE. you nudge up close to them, and they immediately shift away, posture tightly-wound. shoulders drawn inward, muscles coiled as if to prepare to deliver a blow. their memories of you have not been lost, but much of their sentiment — not just for you, so try not to be offended — has been completely blown to smithereens. ( haha, good one. )

however, your question seems to somehow provoke their interest. perhaps it's the pandering nature of it, the way it plays right into their most pressing desires. maybe it's you grasping at the last remaining string that might tie you together and tugging on it, even if it might snap from the pressure. their lips purse, brow furrowed with both withheld aggression and thought.

"alright, pinky pie. i'll bite." is that a warning, or a concession? they delight in the double entendre. "been trying a lot of food. that's up there. going to places i think look interesting, on my own terms. lots of games to play. lots of tech to try out."

a brief pause, as their eyes return to yours again. "mostly, i've just been keeping to myself. i never really got to be alone, before. there was always somebody watching. even when they wanted me to think there wasn't." they cock their head, looking you up and down. "even you. everybody treated me like i was the headliner at the fucking freakshow. best part is when they tried to pretend it was out of love."

they stand up, their heavy boots kicking up a bit of dirt as they do so. even at their small stature, they manage to appear firm as they tell you, "you're no different. you can lie to yourself all you want, if it makes you feel better. but i'm done dancing for all of you. i don't want your applause. i just want you to leave me alone."

before you have a chance to react, THE CAPTAIN IS GONE. if you take a moment to consider their departure, you realize they didn't so much walk away as they disappeared. might've had something to do with that flash of blue light, but who's to say?

[splittinghares]

current VERSES used on this blog.

note: contains spoilers for both parts of iswm. for those who have not yet watched iswm in its entirety, hare exists throughout the multiverse of actor mark's stories, && can interact with your muse at any point within them.

🐇 001 — BILLIONS OF STORIES

primary verse — open to all

this is the 'verse used for any && all events that take place before the universe reset at the end of iswm part one. hare is at their most true-to-canon here, wandering from story to story — whether that's date, heist, the first half of space, or any other markiplier ego content. most interactions will occur here simply because this is where they are most accessible.

🐇 002 — COLONY / STAY BRIGHT

secondary verse — open to some

this is the 'verse that covers the events after the universe reset in iswm part one. within this universe, hare struggles through the events of iswm part two, leading them to stumble into what they could almost consider a finale for themself. in my interpretation, the instability created by the universe reset loosened the chokehold actor mark had on not only hare, but the pocket universe that they currently existed in (the story that is in space with markiplier). i will elaborate more on this in the future, but the bottom line is that this pocket universe now exists on its own, allowing hare to be free of actor's control. they are now with the head engineer, the crew of invincible ii, && the colonists, on the new planet. only those who could reasonably access these times && locations can play in this universe, naturally.

🐇 003 — REWRITE THE REGRETS

tertiary verse — upon request / situational

this is an alternate universe, changing the ending of iswm part one (and quite a lot more). it deserves its own meta post to explain what in the world i mean, but for now: rather than the universe reset leaving hare to wander searching for a way to handle the warp core && free the head engineer from his torment, the universe reset completely, placing hare in the position to put an end to all of this before it even began. it put them at a position to strike at this story's very root, before those roots even took hold. hare keeps actor's pen from even hitting the page, preventing the events of who killed markiplier? on the whole.

🐇 004 — UNIVERSE UNSPOOLED

tertiary verse — closed

this is an alternative universe, changing the ending of iswm part one (and avoiding the events of iswm part two). this universe is currently a big wip but it is similar to 003 in that the universe reset sends hare somewhere other than spiraling through the events of iswm part two — instead, they find themselves encountering a being that has been looking for them for a very, very long time.

🐇 005 — A WAY TO CHANGE (THE CAPTAIN'S VERSE)

tertiary verse — upon request / situational

this is a highly experimental, canon divergent verse wherein the events of iswm part one change hare for the worst. in this verse, the stresses of the events of iswm part one prove too much for hare to bear. they endeavor to prove to the head engineer that, no — they are not stupid. but maybe they could be a bit of the other thing.

this is not hare, and they will not answer to that name. they answer to CAPTAIN. you can read more about them here.

[splittinghares]

@pleasuretomeetme asked: 🎵 [ send 🎵 for a song that reminds me of our muses ]

new constellations — ryn weaver for jonas && captain.

'cause it's hard to believe that it's wrong to want more than the truest of blue and a love like a roar. i will run to wherever i want to go, oh — charting neptune by the fire of the sun, i'm looking for new constellations, new constellations. so keep callin' me crazy, 'cause i never learned, you should stop loving fire because you got burned. now it feels like i'm living some sick déjà vu, like the answers were there when i stared into you.