#…it really shouldn’t be asking all that much

[the-boy-meets-evil]

lost in the west | kmg

(where your best friend pretends to be your boyfriend for the holidays so you can avoid more nagging from your mother. except your whole family thought you were already dating)

pairing: mingyu x f!reader genre: fake dating (kind of), friends to lovers, holiday!au | fluff, smut, romance rating: explicit, minors do not interact word count: 18.1k warnings: eating, drinking, mentions of christmas and holiday celebrations, reference to mingyu being afraid of heights, some minor family dynamic issues, so much kissing, fingering, big dick!mingyu, sex (just plain old missionary), i think that's it

author's note: thank you to the amazing @camandemstudios studios for hosting the winter with you collab! it's been so fun to be part of (even if i forgot for a second that i had to include sunrise sledding, but we're ignoring that). i'm sorry this is a little late as a holiday fic but sometimes life happens and inspiration just doesn't want to strike. i'm not even going to say it's longer than i intended because that's just my brand atp. this is largely unedited.

author's note 2: i think there's going to be an epilogue but idk when that will be possible

tag list: @vitaminkyeom, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @harry-the-pottypus, @pyeonghongrie, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @tomodachiii, @gyuhao365, @jjin-kun, @divinityyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @tinkerbell460, @aidanjoon, @cookiearmy, @kaepjjangiya (join my taglist here)

“You’re bringing your boyfriend back with you, aren’t you?” your mom asks, which makes you look sharply toward the phone. It’s on speaker because you’re in the middle of folding laundry. Your best friend also looks over towards your phone with a grimace, which makes you wish it wasn’t on speaker.

The thing is…you haven’t told your mom that your ex and you broke up about two months ago. Didn’t want to deal with all the sighing and interrogation while you’re rushing to finish end of the year deadlines at work. Somehow, you know it’ll be your fault. Never mind the fact that he cheated on you in your own apartment. But, that’s another story. Your mother will say something about how you shouldn’t be so picky and everyone makes mistakes. Say that sometimes it’s not your most attractive trait that you’re dedicated to your job. Say that you’re not getting any younger and remind you how many of your friends from school are already married or even having kids of their own. That’s one reminder you don’t really need. You see it every time you aimlessly scroll through your feed. Or when you open the mail and see another wedding invitation. 

You sigh. “Well, actually…” 

“Oh, don’t tell me,” your mother says with her own sigh. “You broke it off with this one, too?” 

“I’m not going to get into it with you,” you say, gentle but firm. 

“I don’t understand what could have made you break it off. You said he was like your best friend,” she reminds you. 

This earns an eye roll from one of your actual best friends, Mingyu. He takes over folding your clothes for you as something to do and as a way to speed up the whole process. 

“Well, he’s not and I don’t see any reality where I will forgive him for what he did to me. So, let’s move on,” you say. 

“Maybe that’s okay. You know, one of my friends has a son who’s single and I could just…” she starts.

“No, absolutely not,” you say. This causes Mingyu to stifle his laughter with a hand.

“I don’t understand what the harm in meeting him is. He seems very nice and you’re not exactly getting any younger,” she says. 

There it is. The conversation always somehow ends up at the same point. You’re not getting any younger. All your parents’ friends have been planning weddings and getting grandchildren. They all seem to understand the importance of building a family. Why do you have to be so focused on what’s wrong with every person you date? Why are you too wrapped up in work? Your parents constantly remind you how you seem too wrapped up in the city life to realize what you’re missing.

“I just don’t think…” you start but then trail off when Mingyu starts waving at you to get your attention. He’s pointing at himself and mouthing something you can’t understand.

“I know you don’t think, but just…” your mom starts and you mute yourself so you can figure out what your best friend wants.

“What, Mingyu?” you ask, sharper than you intend.

“Take me back with you for the holidays,” he says. 

“What?” you ask.

“Take me…” he starts.

“No, I heard you. What are you on about?” you ask. 

“You can just feed your mom some line. Tell her you and I just started dating. It doesn’t matter. Anything to just get her off your case,” he says.

“I’m not…what is wrong with you? I’m not going to just fake date you like some weird holiday movie,” you argue.

“Okay, first of all, rude. Those movies aren’t weird, they’re great. And second of all, what do you have to lose?  Your mom loves me and she’ll be thrilled to see me. I already know everyone that’ll be at the parties and dinners. My parents are out of the country visiting my sister and her new boyfriend for the holidays, so I was only going to my cousin’s as kind of a pity invite. It can’t possibly fail,” he says.

“There are a lot of ways it could fail, actually,” you point out.

“Wow, are you going to leave me stranded for the holidays? I’m already rethinking this relationship,” Mingyu says through a pout. “My own partner doesn’t even want to spend the holidays with me. Are you embarrassed to bring me around your family?”

“So what do you say?” comes your mom’s voice. You had been blocking it out while talking to Mingyu, yet it still catches your attention.

You quickly unmute yourself and look away from Mingyu. “I…actually can’t, Mom. I’m sort of seeing someone different, but it’s new so I wasn’t going to mention…” 

“Oh, you already found someone new, that’s wonderful!” she exclaims. 

You don’t have to look at Mingyu to know that he’s wearing a grin that’s entirely too satisfied. Even if he’s mostly kidding about being abandoned for Christmas, you know that it’s been bugging him that his parents decided to go abroad. You also know that he wouldn’t ever dream of inviting himself to tag long even if that’s what he wanted to do. He actually likes your family, sometimes more than you do. 

“I’ll have to ask him if he’s willing to come with me, but…” you try to say before your mother cuts you off again.

“Tell him it simply wouldn’t be the holidays without him. I can’t wait to meet him. Oh, I’m going to tell your father. We may manage to get you married after all,” she says in seemingly one breath.

“I still haven’t…” you try again without any luck.

“I can’t wait to see you both! Love you!” she says. 

“Love y-...” you say, but she’s already ended the call. 

“I guess I have holiday plans after all,” Mingyu says and you fight the urge to throw a pillow at him.

“This is a terrible idea. I can’t pretend we’re dating,” you say and crinkle your nose.

“Oh, wow, have I offended your high standards?” he asks. “Should I remind you of your last two relationships?”

You do throw the pillow at him this time. 

Despite all the questions from your parents about just who is coming home with you for the holidays, you insist that it needs to be a surprise. You definitely think that your parents will be surprised when they see Mingyu on their doorstep. Even though you only met Mingyu in college, the two of you have been nearly inseparable since then. He’s come with you to countless family events to keep you company, especially between other relationships. Your parents buy him Christmas presents every year and insist on video chatting with both of you on his birthdays. Your younger cousins ask when he’s going to be coming around again because they look up to him, both literally and figuratively. It’s kind of annoying sometimes because you wonder if they like him more than their own family member. But, you reason it away with them liking him for the same reasons that you do. He’s just so easy to be around, though they get more of his polite company attitude than you do. Around you, he’s much more relaxed and somehow more prone to pouting to get his way. 

More unfortunately, the pout always seems to work on you. You pretend to be annoyed with it (well, it’s not always pretending, actually), but you give in every time. Which is fine when it’s just the two of you. It’s less fine when other friends are around because they all have smug looks. Convinced that you and him are end game and neither of you realizes yet. The worst, though, is when he slips into the pout mode around your family and you have to deal with the looks from your family members. It’s all worth it to have someone to act as a buffer, even if you’ll never tell him as much. 

Before you get to that point of seeing your parents, you figure that you should stop by to see your childhood best friend first. Of course, he already knows the whole story with Mingyu and doesn’t seem entirely surprised. After all, he’s also known your mom nearly his whole life. Somehow you went from kids forced together when the parents hung out to adults that actually still genuinely love each other, which means he knows Mingyu well too. In his role as best friend, your current situation will not spare you from his teasing. That’s a role he’s happily embraced all your lives. 

The smirk on his face is present as soon as he sees you and Mingyu walk into the coffee shop. Mingyu hasn’t even spotted him while he unwinds his scarf and heads to the counter to order drinks. You say you’re going over to sit with your friend and only then does Mingyu notice you’re not the first ones here. 

“Hey Kwan, you good on your drink?” he calls.

“Yeah, thanks,” he calls back before his eyes turn on you like he’s got a secret. 

You make your way over to his table and try not to react to the look he’s giving you. Typical Seungkwan looking like he’s about to burst with the latest gossip. Even when he knows exactly why you have Mingyu with you and even said, over text, he gets why you agreed. Ugh. You know better than to think he’ll let you live for even a second. Sometimes you think you need better friends.

“Has he gotten taller?” Seungkwan asks, casting his eyes over at your other friend. 

“No, but for real,” you say with a laugh. “I swear, I see him constantly and I still feel like he’s getting taller.”

“Constantly, huh?” Seungkwan asks, raising an eyebrow.

“We’re best friends,” you say with a sigh.

“And what am I?” he asks. 

“Also my best friend. There’s no rule on having only one,” you repeat for what feels like the hundredth time. 

“Are you nervous to head back to your parents’ house?” he asks, entirely switching approaches. 

It’s not your first rodeo, though. “Why should I be? They like Mingyu, at least, so there won’t be any of the awkwardness beyond explaining that we’re dating now.” 

“Which probably isn’t going to come as a surprise to them,” Seungkwan says. 

“I mean, why wouldn’t it be a surprise?” you ask before you clock the look on his face. “Oh, don’t tell me this is more of that bullshit about how often I bring him around. You know my family is insufferable if I have to deal with them alone.” 

“No, I just know for a fact that they’ve wondered if you were dating him before,” Seungkwan says as Mingyu finally joins you with two coffees in hand.

“That would mean she would need to have good enough taste to date someone as great as me,” he says when he sets your coffee in front of you.

“I’m so torn,” Seungkwan admits. “I could insult her taste in relationships, which, love you babe, but really? Or I could insult you as not really being any better than anyone she’s dated.”

“That one gets us both, though?” you point out, only a little offended.

“Option two it is,” Seungkwan agrees. 

“Okay, enough of that. Fill me in on everything before I have to walk into the lion’s den,” you say. 

It’s always the same when you catch up with Seungkwan. He’s thriving even though he chose not to leave the area where you grew up. It’s not that big of an area, but he’s found opportunities. You just found those opportunities a little further away. Just far enough away that your mother can’t easily pop by unannounced. That lead time before she shows up is usually enough that you can mentally prepare. 

Seungkwan, for his part, really does brighten up the entire space, when he’s not being a demon. He’s got that kind of shine that can’t even be dulled by staying in the same general area as his family. He’s also better at setting boundaries, which he gently reminds you again. He doesn’t need the space and preparation time of his family showing up at his place unannounced because they all know that’s not allowed. It’s not that you’re a pushover, it’s just that it feels different. Even your parents seem to respect Seungkwan more than you at times. You try not to let the cynicism of being a woman seep into those feelings. But, it’s hard. Harder still when Seungkwan gives you the sympathetic look like he wants to agree and knows it won’t really help anything. He’s always been that special brand of ally. The one that actually does want to help and understands the inherent privilege.

Unfortunately, Seungkwan and his family won’t be coming to the events that your parents have planned for the next week, though they’re always invited. They wanted to do something more focused on their family instead. It probably seems like something over the top to anyone on the outside. To you, it just seems normal. This is how your parents always handle the holidays and most events seem to take place at their house. 

All too soon, Seungkwan says that he needs to get back to something and reminds you that you can’t put off going home any longer. You’re already getting dangerously close to what your mother considers late. It’s probably not the best idea to test her patience before the week even starts. 

Mingyu takes care of getting you over to your parents house. Maybe fake dating him for a week won’t be so bad when he takes care of driving without asking and doesn’t even need an address. Since he also already knows your entire family, he doesn’t need help with getting gifts to bring with him. That includes both something to give them when you get there as well as actual Christmas gifts. You remember telling him that wasn’t necessary and remember the look of horror on his face when he asked what kind of fake boyfriend he would be if he forgot. Despite the weirdness of the situation, you also find yourself far more at peace than the last time you brought an actual partner home like this. Mingyu has seen you through a lot of ups and downs. Knows when to be serious and when to crack a little joke to break the tension, even if it’s something only for your ears. 

That all disappears as soon as your mother greets you at the door with a look of genuine surprise on her face. 

“Surprise,” you say. It seems a little redundant because she seems shocked. “You, uh, you remember Mingyu, right?” 

“Of course, of course, come in out of the cold,” she says, recovering quickly as she steps out of the way. “Let me get your coats.”

“I know this is probably a bit of a surprise,” you start.

“It definitely is,” she agrees as she takes Mingyu’s and your coats. “Your father is just in the family room.”

“I figured it would be a good surprise,” you offer as you start to follow her into the house. 

“No, of course it is. We adore Mingyu, you know that,” she says with a soft smile for Mingyu. She’s always loved him. “We just, well, we thought you and him had broken up…”

“Broken…what?” you ask, your own shock now matching your mother’s as you come to a complete halt. 

Mingyu seems to just stay quiet through this entire exchange. You’re wondering why until you look over at him to see that he’s barely containing his laughter. Of course he would find this whole thing funny. Maybe he believes Seungkwan that your parents have wondered if you were dating him. Or maybe he’s just quicker on the uptake. Whatever it, it would be annoying if your brain wasn’t working overtime to try and catch up.

“Yes, you said you’d broken up with a boyfriend. Your father and I realized we hadn’t actually met the last person you dated and we just assumed, since you only mention Mingyu. Well, you said he was like your best friend and we knew it wasn’t Seungkwan. Mingyu only made sense,,” your mother says with a shrug. 

“Mingyu! What are you doing here?” your father asks, rising from his seat to shake your best friend’s hand. 

“Dating our daughter, apparently,” your mother says with a skeptical look. 

“Oh, good! I’m glad you kids worked it out,” he says. 

“Did…everyone just think I was dating…?” you start to ask, looking confusedly between your parents. “Mom, Dad, I was not dating Mingyu. We were only…”

“Friends?” your mother supplies through her heavy tone of disbelief. 

“Yes,” you say, eyes wide and desperate looking to Mingyu for support.

“We really were just friends,” Mingyu says. “I mean, I guess not just friends. But, seeing her go through another heartbreak just made me realize that I didn’t want to see her go through something like that again. I guess it just made me realize how much I do care about her. So, I finally said something.” 

There’s a lot that you can count on Mingyu for. Driving, having an endless supply of oversized hoodies to steal, a stocked kitchen, the best meals of your life, 2 am chats, support through break ups, hating the same people, being scared of his own shadow, a perpetual golden retriever energy, endless loyalty, and the list goes on. Something you never expect to count on Mingyu for, though? The lie that spills so easily from his lips to try and get your parents off your case. Sure, he knows just how much you struggle with your relationship with them. This is different, though. The lie sounds so sincere and his face looks so soft when he glances over at you. 

“You know, it’s okay if you just got back together,” your mother says, looking between the two of you. 

“Oh my god, that’s not what happened!” you say, throwing your hands up. 

“Of course, dear, of course,” your father says. 

“I should go take our suitcases upstairs. Am I just in the normal guest room?” he asks. 

It’s both a deflection from the conversation and a valid question all rolled into one. Whatever the case, it does work for long enough to have your mother refocus her attention on Mingyu to answer. That gives you at least a second to catch your breath. Bringing Mingyu was supposed to give you a break from your parents. And it will, you think, but it’s also bringing up a lot that you hadn’t planned on. You wonder what Seungkwan will say when you tell him about the reception. Probably that he told you so.

“Oh, no dear. We planned to have you stay in our daughter’s old room with her,” your mother says.

Great. Now you’re in an entirely new spiral because, what? She has you and Mingyu staying in the same room where there is only one bed? You can’t remember the last time she was this relaxed with a partner you brought home, which brings up even more questions. Has this really been the plan? Or is only the plan now because of how much they like him? Is this just another way for them to try and nudge you into marriage?

“But, mom…” you start to protest.

“We’ve got a full house with family, dear,” she says as an explanation. 

“I know where it is, I’ll just take the stuff up,” Mingyu offers.

“I can help,” you say as a way to get out of this whole thing and to talk to your friend.

“Pretty sure I’m strong enough to get some luggage upstairs,” he jokes and you roll your eyes.

“Why don’t you go up with him anyway? Then you can freshen up before dinner,” your mother says with a poorly disguised look at your slightly wrinkled clothing. 

Mingyu insists on carrying the bigger suitcases upstairs on his own, but you grab the smaller bags you had in the car with you. Well, except for his backpack that he also stubbornly carries. You don’t need a personal demonstration, you already know that he’s strong. You also don’t need to hear your mother talking about how nice it is to have such a polite young man around like he hasn’t been around a million times before. Once you’re inside the room and behind a closed door, you round on your friend.

“What the hell was that?” you ask.

“Your mom actually letting you and a boyfriend stay in the same room? I don’t know. It’s crazy, right?” he asks.

“Not that, what was with you?” you ask. 

“What do you mean?” he returns, looking up from his suitcase where he had been getting ready to unpack. 

“That whole answer you gave my mom,” you say and he looks almost pitying.

“I have to make it believable, don’t I?” he asks like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “Otherwise, she won’t buy it and she’s going to try to set you up.”

“I guess that makes sense,” you concede. 

“Kind of wild that they thought we’d been dating, though,” he adds on.

“Yeah, what was that?” you ask with more force than you mean. 

He only shrugs. “I don’t know, they’re your parents.” 

“Seungkwan said the same thing,” you remind him. 

“About people thinking we’re dating?” he asks, eyes back on his suitcase.

“Yeah,” you say.

He only chuckles before he looks up. “Come on, that’s not the first time either. How many of our friends have thought the same thing?”

“They’re just fucking with us,” you disagree.

“And my ex?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“Okay, well in my defense, she was insane. The whole idea that people of the opposite sex can’t be friends is an insane take,” you say.

“Yeah, I’m not exactly upset to be rid of her,” he agrees.

“Come on. We better hurry up and get back downstairs,” you say.

The rest of the day is somehow just as weird, but also comforting. As the rest of the family starts arriving, either to stay or just for dinner, you find out that most of your family thinks you’ve been dating Mingyu. Or that it was him that you broke up with and are now back together with. It’s hard to tell if it’s something coming from your parents or just a general vibe that the two of you give off. You can at least acknowledge that you didn’t talk about your last relationship much with your family. Hindsight is always clearer, but you still think you knew something was off in that relationship the whole time. Knew that he wasn’t destined to go the distance. Maybe that’s why the break up didn’t hurt that bad. Honestly, the worst part was thinking of facing your family alone for Christmas.

Mingyu saves you from that as he’s saved you countless times before. 

That brings you to the more comforting part of the evening. You can’t tell if any of your family members actually buy that this is a new relationship. At least, none of them seem to think it’s fake. You can probably put up with it if they just think you’re lying about when you actually got together. That makes it all feel much easier. Then, there’s the fact that your entire family loves Mingyu. It’s the first time you can remember joining the dinner to kick off the family Christmas festivities in years. Your family takes the holidays very seriously and it’s Mingyu’s first time experiencing it like this. Yet, he slots right in with everything. 

It also feels like he’s thought through this whole fake relationship in ways you didn’t. Sure, you talked about some of the ins and outs since this isn’t just a quick overnight trip. But, mostly, you just decide it’s easiest to keep it as close to the truth as possible. The friendship is so deep that there’s genuine love there. You don’t have to fake that. What you did not consider is physical affection. You’re not the kind of person that drapes yourself all over a partner, never have been. There’s a moment where you worry, as you watch your cousin and her fiancé, that you and Mingyu could be found out for not showing enough affection. 

A few minutes later, you’re wishing he would be less affectionate. And you’re not even sure why you worried. The first thing you really learned about Mingyu was that he was incredibly physically affectionate. Tight hugs, random hand holding, an arm around your shoulder, a hand on your arm or leg. It’s all just par for the course with him. It’s gotten even more obvious now that he’s pretending to date you. It seems so innocuous, too. He’s got his hand on your thigh, giving the occasional squeeze, while he’s talking to someone else. He randomly plants a kiss on your temple. He leans over to whisper something to you on the pretense of being close and usually it’s nothing. You don’t even realize that it has most of your family giving each other knowing looks. Like they’re still not convinced you hadn’t been dating before. 

By the time it’s late enough to go upstairs, you’re more than ready to have time away from your family. Every time you think that you’re social, your family is there to humble you. Or maybe it’s just that being around them is too draining. In any case, you and Mingyu head upstairs together. Thankfully, your parents house is big enough that it feels like there’s a little bit of privacy in your old bedroom. 

“So, how’s this going to work?” Mingyu asks, glancing at the bed and then into the attached bathroom. 

Okay, so maybe, even with how big the house is, you haven’t fully considered everything. You’re not really sure what to do. It shouldn’t be weird. You and Mingyu have shared a bed before. This just somehow feels intimate when your entire family thinks you’re sharing because you’re in a relationship and don’t know this is all pretend so you can have a little bit of peace for the holidays. Your gift to yourself. Shaking it all off, you turn to Mingyu.

“I mean, we’ve shared before. It’ll be fine,” you say. 

“So are we not gonna talk about the last time we shared?” he asks with an eyebrow raised.

Racking your brain, you can’t really think of anything that would make him say that. Had something awkward happened? Did one of you do something that you should really remember? Just as you’re about to go into a full blown spiral, you feel Mingyu appear before you. He reaches out to smooth out the line between your eyebrows.

“Don’t hurt yourself there,” he says with a laugh. “You whined about me taking up too much space.” 

“Oh my god,” you say and swat at him. “It was a tiny bed and you took up the entire thing! You can’t do this to me when I’m already wound tight over my family.” 

“Sorry,” he says and throws up his hands. The sparkle in his eyes says that he’s anything but. 

“I’m going to change and then start my skincare routine,” you say as you move to grab something to wear to bed. 

Without even asking if you’re dressed, Mingyu comes into the bathroom to start doing his own skincare routine while you’re in there. He’s already changed into a t-shirt and shorts, which you know is more than he normally wears to bed. It’s somehow peaceful to go through your routines in silence like this. You consider that it might be in part because it forces him to be quiet. Not that you usually mind his chatter, it’s just that your brain is already tired from one night dealing with your family. You can’t imagine how the rest of the days are going to go and are thankful for the downtime when you’ll be able to get out of the house to do things. 

Once you’re back in the bedroom, you both finish off all the little things you need to do. You plug in your phone after checking for any important notifications, grab the TV remote to fling it over to Mingyu, and slide under the covers. Usually you just kind of scroll before going to sleep or sometimes you’ll read. But, you think it might be weird to do those things when you’re sharing a bed with someone else.

“Do I need to make a pillow wall or something?” he asks as he’s flipping through to find something to watch.

Your head whips to the side to look at him. Even though it’s only his profile, you can see that he’s smirking. Purposefully not looking at you because he knows it’ll break the little composure he has. To deal with that, you whack him with a pillow. 

“Just don’t drape your entire body over me,” you say.

“Why?” he asks and does turn to look at you now, wiggling his eyebrows. “Afraid it’ll be too close?”

“No, you fucking goober, you’re just heavy,” you say through a genuine laugh.

“How is this relationship ever going to work if we’re calling each other names?” he says, pretending to be heartbroken. 

“Same way it has for like 8 years,” you joke back with a soft smile. 

“Are you saying you love me?” he asks, hand on his heart. This is one of your favorite things about your friendship with Mingyu because he’s so dramatic that it takes your mind off everything else.

“I don’t know, I’m rethinking it,” you say and turn back to the TV. 

“I love you too, you know,” he says, voice soft enough to make you turn back to him.

“I know, Gyu. I don’t think anyone else would put themselves through this for me, so thank you,” you say honestly. 

He just shrugs and goes back to a lighter place. “Well, I didn’t have good holiday plans and who can say no to this level of entertainment?” 

The next day actually gives you time to catch up with some of your family members more personally instead of everything being such big conversations. That’s especially true for your cousin, Mimi, who’s only two years younger than you and has always been your favorite of your cousins. Even if you go months without seeing each other, it always feels like no time passes. There’s just a level of closeness and understanding between the two of you. You can complain about your mothers since they’re sisters and honestly the same person, just in a different font. It’s easy to be on the same page about things as well. 

You’re actually a little surprised to see that she’s here alone, even though you know she recently got out of a bad relationship. Somehow, it seems her mom is more understanding than your own. She was also much more honest about how the relationship fell apart after 3 years and her mom is sympathetic about it. When she says it like that, you understand. Your last few relationships have all been measured in months rather than years. 

“You’re not, like, actually dating Mingyu though, are you?” she asks quietly when it’s just the two of you.

“Mimi,” you hiss and look around.

“We’re alone,” she assures you with a wave of her hand. “So, spill.”

“No,” you say hesitantly. “Why?”

“I’m just curious,” she says unconvincingly. 

“He was with me when my mom was bugging me about the holidays and bringing someone with me. Then she was going to set me up, so he just offered…” you start.

“He was the one who suggested it?” she asks, far more curious than she should be. 

“Yeah,” you say simply. “Again, why?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve just always thought he was cute and I was wondering if he’s actually single.” 

“You cannot hit on Mingyu,” you whisper through gritted teeth. She gives you a look you can’t place before brushing it off.

“Oh, I’m not saying I would. It’s just good to know I could,” she says.

“You can’t,” you remind her. “Everyone thinks we’re dating.” 

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do it anywhere anyone else could see,” she teases. 

Of course, another of our cousins picks that moment to join you, so you can’t further chastise Mimi. It irritates you all the same though. How does she think it’s just fine to do something like that when you’re supposed to be in a fake relationship? Could she not just wait to hit on him until the rest of your family wasn’t watching with too much attention? 

Normally, Mimi is a respite from the rest of your family. She’s one of the few people that you’re always completely honest with. Now, she’s taken that away. You try to go about the rest of the day with her knowing that the relationship is fake and she seems like she’s trying her best to get under your skin. Every part of you wants to stop her from chatting so much to Mingyu and you can’t. It would seem weird when everyone knows that you and your cousin are close. Weirder still when she always knows Mingyu relatively well from every other time he’s been to some family event. 

When you excuse yourself up to your bedroom for a second away from your parents and their incessant hint dropping, Mingyu slips into the room just after you. Which is odd, considering you had not even seen him also slip away. The second odd thing comes when you look at his face. He looks more serious than usual, more tired. It doesn’t fully make sense because he’s incredibly social. Loves to be around people in the way all true extroverts do. Something must be wrong.

“Can I talk to you?” he asks after closing the door.

“You don’t ever have to ask,” you say with clear apprehension. 

“Did you tell Mimi we weren’t actually dating?” he asks, still looking at you in a way you can’t place.

You exhale, thinking it’ll be nothing. “Oh, that, yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it to you, I just…”

“Did you also tell her that I’m very single and she should go ahead and shoot her shot?” he asks and you stop short hearing that.

“I - what?” you ask.

“She just kind of cornered me and was laying it on super thick, but she said it was fine because she knows we’re not really dating and that you’d encouraged her to…” he starts and you immediately cut him off.

“What the actual fuck, Mimi?” you say in frustration. 

“I mean, if you want me to…” he tries to start again, looking a little like a lost or kicked puppy. It makes you immediately close the space between you and him. 

“Gyu, no. I did tell her that we weren’t actually dating, but I absolutely did not tell her it was okay to do any of that, let alone encourage it,” you say. 

“So you don’t want me to flirt back?” he asks. He’s still looking Too Serious when he says it and you’re not really sure how to feel.

“Since we’re supposed to be dating, I’d prefer you didn’t. But, if you think she’s pretty it’s not like I can stop you,” you say noncommittally. 

“Of course I think she’s pretty. You and your whole family are pretty. It’s like something in a TV show or some shit,” he says and this is a Mingyu you recognize because he’s rolling his eyes. 

“Oh yeah, says the guy who looks like that,” you say and vaguely gesture at him.

“I…did you just compliment me?” he asks, totally off track from wherever he was going.

“That depends, did you compliment me first?” you deflect. 

“You’re such a shithead,” he grumbles and you tsk at him.

“Now, now sweetheart, should we really be name calling?” you tease.

He fixes you with his attempt at an unimpressed stare, but he’s nowhere near as good at it as you are. Like every other time, he relents first. “I’ve probably told you how beautiful you are hundreds of times in our friendship.” 

“Which I’ve always returned,” you lie.

“Be so for real. I have to pull most compliments out of you,” he says through a snort. When you open your mouth to protest, he cuts you off. “Most compliments that are not about my cooking, I should say.”

“People fall all over you,” you say with a good natured eye roll of your own. “Do you really need to hear me also say you could easily be a model?”

“Doesn’t hurt,” he mumbles through a pout.

“Oh, beautiful Mingyu,” you start, taking on the silliest voice you can muster. “You’re so pretty that I could cry. Your face breaks hearts every day, your smile lights up the room, your hair…”

“Okay, okay, enough,” he says even though he looks pleased.

“I cannot believe Mimi, though,” you say.

“I’m glad you’re not trying to push us together,” he admits.

“Why? Not interested?” you tease.

He answers seriously, though. “No. She’s pretty, sure, but no, I’m definitely not interested, even if I wasn’t pretending to date you.” 

That honest answer strikes something in you. Not that honesty is unusual between the two of you. It just feels like there’s also an element of vulnerability in the response as well. Like he’s saying something that you just can’t quite decipher. You just brush aside for now, though, since there’s nothing else you really can do. 

Mingyu, as it turns out, has one winter time tradition that he’s always wanted to try and never had the chance to do: sledding. He’s never lived in any place where it’s snowy enough or there’s enough free space. But, up here in the relative mountains where your parents live, sledding is a way of life. It’s something you’ve done countless times growing up with friends or family. Part of you is even a little thankful that he wants to do it, too. It’s been years since you’ve gone sledding and getting to see his face when you go for the first time feels special. Feels like something that’s just for you. 

Which is why you’re up before the sun. 

Last night, when you talked about sledding and getting an early start, Mingyu was on board. Now that it’s time to actually get up, you can see it written all over his face that he’s regretting every decision that’s ever led him to this moment. Like the true best friend that he is, though, he’s keeping the actual grumbling to a minimum. You’re not sure why you’re not also grumbling. You’re not a morning person. But, you’ve never gone sledding at sunrise either and something about it just seems like it’ll be magical. Like it really will make it an entirely new experience for you and him to share. 

The house is quiet as you grab the bag of snow pants and winter jackets that you packed the night before from the closet in the entryway. Everything feels so peaceful in the house and just as still when you leave. Like even the soft sound of the door is too much while the whole world sleeps. You can hear the slight crunch under your feet as you trudge over to Mingyu’s car and take care not to be too loud getting in. Thank him again for driving when you know it’s way earlier than he wants to be awake. All he does is smile like there’s nowhere else in the world he would rather be. 

The drive to the hill where you’re going to sled is quick and also tranquil. Even the music is soft like Mingyu is afraid of disrupting the peace. Or maybe you’re both just appreciating something different than the normal bustle of life in a city. It’s never this kind of quiet there and there’s something kind of beautiful about it. Even the parking lot is empty when you get to the small hill that you used to sled down as a kid. You’ve never seen it empty before. Then again, you’ve never been before the sun rose, either. Mingyu takes care to unload the sleds before you both bundle up. It’s not terribly cold, but you make him put on the waterproof gear anyway. 

He stops at the bottom of the hill and looks towards the top. “We’re going all the way up there?” 

You can hear a little bit of nerves in his voice. Mingyu has never been a fan of heights. This isn’t that high, though, and you nudge him playfully. Well, it doesn’t seem high to you. “I think you can manage. Come on.” 

Climbing up to the top is always your least favorite part because it uses the most energy. Not that you mind the activity, it’s just a lot of work for a relatively short ride back down the hill on the sled. At least this hill has stairs built into the slope off to the side to help you. Once you’re at the top, you plop down with Mingyu right beside you. It’s less about catching your breath and more about appreciating the view. It seems like you can see for miles even though you’re not that high up. The sun starts to rise and you know it’s all worth it. All the shades of orange and pink stretch across the horizon as the sun makes its way over the distant mountains. There aren’t any words that come to mind to really capture how beautiful it is. The colors are more vibrant against the white of the snow all around you. Everything feels magnified in the quiet space. All either of you can do is utter out a soft wow to express your awe. 

And then the quiet really is broken.

“Okay you expect me to slide down that on a piece of plastic?” he asks with a hint of panic in his voice. 

You follow his gaze and look down the hill, because it really is only a hill. Not anything crazy. It always looks a little more intimidating from the top, but it isn’t anything all that high. 

“Oh come on you giant baby,” you tease and nudge him. “We got all the way up here, how else are you going to get down?” 

“Walk back down the stairs they so nicely provided?” he offers. 

“That’s crazy,” you say.

“I’m afraid of heights!” he shouts, more panic in his voice. 

“I know, Gyu,” you say, instantly softening as you approach him to put your hand on his arm. 

“I didn’t really think this through,” he admits.

“Why did you agree to sledding down a hill?” you ask, genuinely curious. 

He’s quiet for a moment as he looks out over vista before him. You watch as a calm comes back over him. The kind of calm that can only come from a setting as pretty as this one. Watch him take a couple steadying breaths. Even though you’ve been friends with Mingyu for years, you’ve never really seen his fear of heights firsthand. Couldn’t have imagined it would kick in for something as seemingly innocuous as a small sledding hill. Though, admittedly, it is a pretty decent size. It’s definitely not just the kind of hill people sled down in their backyards or local parks. 

“Because I wanted to try sledding and do something new. And this hill seemed important to you,” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m not going to say no to something you ask me to do when you get that look in your eyes.”

“What look?” you ask to avoid considering a deeper meaning to his words.

“I don’t know. You get all starry eyed,” he says with a shrug. 

“How about this? We can go down together and check it off the list. You don’t have to sled again,” you offer. 

“We came all the way out here,” he says, unsure.

“And I got to see the prettiest sunrise of my life with my best friend beside me,” you say easily.

“Okay, okay. I can at least try,” he says.

You get up and send the smaller of the sleds down the hill without anyone on it in case you really only take the one ride. It would be a hassle to have to come back up and get it. Then, you position yourself on the bigger sled that’s meant for two people (or three kids sometimes when you were younger). Once you’re in place, you motion for Mingyu to settle in behind you. Point out where he can put his legs on either side of you, which already feels closer than normal even with how affectionate Mingyu can be. You adjust so that your back is pressed against his chest. It’s about the right balance to the sled so that you’re less likely to topple over on the way down. Mingyu has to crowd into your space to wrap his arms around your middle because he’s bigger than you are, something you hadn’t considered when suggesting this. You can almost tell that he’s considering burying his face in your hair, but stops short.

At least, until you push over the edge with a combination of wiggling and using your hands to push your forward. That’s when he buries his face. Then, you’re slowly picking up speed as you slide down the completely untouched snow. It’s always best like this, in your opinion. Before there are lanes carved into the snow. Yes, those lanes pack the snow down and can make you go faster, but you can also catch an edge and topple over more easily. 

None of that is really on your mind once you start descending though. All you can think of is the way Mingyu’s body feels pressed against yours. How it’s very foreign but also very comforting. How you can understand why your whole family so easily believes that you’re together. The comfort is effortless, something you don’t ever think about. It just exists. You focus on how funny it is to have this giant of a man wrapped around you like a koala with his head buried in your hair now because he’s nervous. You don’t even consider any other way that it might make you feel. When you let out a squeal of delight as the sled picks up more speed, you feel, rather than hear, him grumble by the tickle of his breath in your hair. It only makes him cling more tightly to you. 

It’s almost disappointing when you feel the sled level out at the bottom of the hill and slow down. It’s been the perfect way to relive one of the parts of your childhood that you loved the most. Getting to do silly little things like this really was one of the best parts of winter. You’re fully stopped before you realize that Mingyu is still clinging to you with everything he has. So, you carefully place a hand over his and feel him untense the tiniest bit.

“It’s okay, we made it to the bottom in one piece.” 

Slowly, he loosens his grip on you and actually looks up. Again, you feel this rather than seeing it. You feel the absence of his body heat and only then realize just how tightly he was clinging to you. Mingyu pulls his face out of your hair and seems to look around, as if testing that you’re really at the bottom of the hill. Like he’s not sure it’s over that quickly. 

“That wasn’t so bad.”

“No, it was a lot of fun.” 

“Do you think…could we maybe go again?” 

Both of you are standing up again now and it makes you whip your head around to look at him because you can’t believe this scaredy cat actually wants to go down again after how much it took to get him down the first time. His face is hopeful, though, and you’re not about to start saying no to that face now. Not when you never have before. So you match his smile. 

“On one condition,” you finally say. Mingyu only looks at you like he’s waiting for you to continue. “You have to actually keep your eyes open this time.” 

“You don’t know I had my eyes closed,” he insists with a pout.

“Gyu, your face was in my hair,” you say through a laugh.

“Okay, fine. Eyes open. But, I have my own condition, too,” he fires back, still kind of pouting. 

“Yes?”

“I want to ride together again.” 

It’s easy to agree to that. Even though you don’t say it out loud, it’s kind of fun riding with him, especially when the hill is so untouched. He’s tall and muscular, very helpful when it comes to carving a path and also picking up speed. He adds to the momentum and you like going faster. You don’t consider telling him that he wouldn’t go quite as fast without you because you would be losing on as well. It’s not a bad deal for either of you, really. Mingyu gets to work a little on a fear of heights on something much more manageable and you get to live out your best sled dreams. 

Each run gets a little bit easier. Mingyu holds up his end of the bargain and actually opens his eyes, which is more entertaining to you than it probably should be as he curses all the way down that first run. But, he keeps wanting to go and you’re not going to stop him. Don’t realize that maybe he also keeps going because he loves to see the way your face lights up each run. Neither of you makes an effort to get the other sled again either. 

By the time the sun is fully risen, yours and Mingyu’s cheeks are rosy from the cold. And also from the way you’ve taken to running back up the steps to the top like kids. You have to admit, even if it means he’ll get a big head, this is the most fun you’ve had in your hometown during the holidays in a long time. Honestly, it might actually be the most fun you’ve had anywhere in a while. It’s nice to get back to something simpler without worrying about anything else. Life can get busy back in the city between work and chores and endless responsibility. Sometimes it’s nice to just take a break from it all. Remember that there are more important things than just working all the time or being stressed about things you can’t really control. Maybe there’s something to simplifying life a bit. 

Now that the sun is rising, it’s a more acceptable time for people to be out and about themselves. Kids can convince their parents to take them sledding as well. At the first sign of people approaching, you and Mingyu agree that it should be your last run. You’re starting to get a little tired and you know it’ll get loud. You don’t mind having the kids around, you just know it gets harder to avoid everyone and you have to wait longer between each run. Besides, you planned something post sledding as well. It catches you off guard that he actually seems a little sad to be leaving. 

That is, until you take him to this little hole in the wall of a breakfast place. It’s something new because you’re not usually in this area when he comes with you to family events. Not that it’s far, it’s just a few towns over and there are closer places. Until winter comes around again and the elderly couple that runs the place roll out their secret recipe for hot cocoa. Honestly, you could probably just drink that without even ordering anything to eat and be the happiest person in the world. The food is amazing too, though, and you didn’t eat before leaving to go sledding. You and Mingyu order a few things to share and laugh all the way through it, talking about sledding and the trip so far.

“Thanks for this,” he says as breakfast is winding up.

You’re a little surprised at both his words and the gentleness of his tone. “For what?”

“Taking me sledding like this. That sunrise was amazing and I, well, I guess I didn’t think I’d have as much fun as I did,” he admits, a little more shy than you’re used to.

“I’m glad you trusted me,” you say and can’t quite place the look he gives you.

“I think I’d trust you with just about anything.” 

The day before Christmas is always the same. By then, you’re in desperate need of a break from your family and you think they may be in need of a break from you as well. So, each year you get together with Seungkwan and some of your other friends that still live in the area. Anyone with a partner brings them along and you have a nice, boozy brunch. This year, Seungkwan is hosting because his place is spacious and the group seems a little bigger. It’s also nice to get to really spend some time at his place since he’s only been there a few months. 

Typically, a few people in the friend group will bring over some pre-made things to warm up the next day as well as everyone bringing whatever they want to drink and share. That’s the same for this year with a slight change. Mingyu, once he sees the kitchen, says that he just has to make some food as well. After taking an inventory, he heads back out to buy more things that he needs, ignoring any of your protests and only agreeing to take your card so you can sort out the cost with your friends. (You’re not going to do that because you don’t mind just covering it, but you don’t want him to cover it either.)

When he gets back, he immediately goes into the kitchen and your friend Vernon’s girlfriend offers to help. She drags Seungkwan’s sister, who doesn’t usually come around, with her as well. Mingyu only leaves the kitchen long enough to bring you one of the mimosas that he made, insisting there’s a special ingredient. Then, it’s back to fully focusing on the food. Not that you really mind. It’s nice to just be in a low stress environment with your friends to catch up, have some drinks, and laugh a lot. 

Vernon, after looking around to make sure nobody else is listening, shows you and Seungkwan the ring he’s been walking around with for the past few weeks. Apparently, he’s finally settled that he’s going to propose to his girlfriend tomorrow on Christmas Day. You’re thrilled because they’ve been together forever and she already feels like family. Seungkwan nearly bursts into tears, which you have to quickly cover so nobody realizes what’s happening. You love that your best friend is like that. It’s just not the time if you want to keep it a secret that Vernon wants to propose. 

It also feels nice to be in a group where you don’t have to pretend. Nothing changes all that much for how you and Mingyu are together because he’s always affectionate with you. But, you get to trade any of the not-so-subtle comments about when you’re going to get married to the relentless teasing about how he passes as your boyfriend so easily. It’s nice to have someone joking about it and you find you don’t even mind. Especially when Mingyu chimes in with his own little comments from the kitchen. There seems like there’s a lot of laughter in there as well. 

“You’re going to have to dress him better if he’s going to keep posing as your boyfriend,” Seungkwan jokes and you look over at the kitchen. 

Mingyu is wearing this kind of awful green zip up sweater. It’s not even that nice, soft material. But, he insisted on wearing it because he wanted to wear something with Christmas colors and it was the only thing he had apart from his outfit for tomorrow. It makes you roll your eyes again remembering it.

“I know,” you sigh. “Usually he dresses so well and then there’s that.” 

Your eyes drift back over to him in the kitchen again and you kind of wish you hadn’t looked back. You catch him as something falls off a spoon he’s using to taste test and onto his skin. And, without seeming to think about it, he sucks it off his hand. Then, licks along his finger for good measure. It makes your heart stutter a little in a way that’s completely foreign to you. Why are you so entirely transfixed by someone who’s supposed to be your best friend and fake boyfriend doing that?

“Hey, you good?” Seungkwan asks, snapping in front of your eyes.

You shake your head to clear it before turning back to him. “Yeah, sorry, zoned out for a second.”

“Uh huh,” he says skeptically, but you catch his eyes darting over to Mingyu. 

“Don’t,” you warn him, causing him to throw his hands up in defense. 

“I won’t,” he says. “But, if you decide you want to talk about it…”

“Talk about what?” Mingyu asks. You hadn’t even seen him leave the kitchen. 

“The issue she’s having with Mimi,” Seungkwan lies quickly. 

Mingyu rolls his eyes. “She won’t leave me alone.” 

“And that seems to be driving both of you crazy,” Seungkwan observes. 

“Well, yeah, our bestie is just being a good friend and she knows I’m uncomfortable,” Mingyu says before you can answer. Is that all it is? For the first time, you’re not sure.

“I’m not sure how I feel about sharing a best friend,” Seungkwan says with feigned distaste.

Mingyu tries to give The Look again, but fails even worse than with you. Nobody can outdo Seungkwan and so he gives up. “Food is ready.” 

“Oh good, I’m starving,” Vernon interrupts. 

The rest of brunch goes by without Seungkwan making any other comments. To you, at least. You don’t see him sit down next to Mingyu after the food is done like it’s casual and unplanned. Nothing that man ever does is either of those things, though. What you do notice is how easily he fits into this group of friends. Sure, he knows Seungkwan pretty well and he’s met nearly everyone there. But, he doesn’t get to spend much time around them. Not really, in the grand scheme of things. It isn’t really surprising, if you think about it, because they’re all close friends of yours and he tends to think you have good taste where friends are concerned.

It is a little weird, you think as Mingyu sits on the other side of the room, that he seems to be a little glued to his phone now that things are getting closer to wrapping up. He checks it mid conversation and furrows his brow at whatever he sees. Both seem unusual. Mingyu is always one of those people that gives his full attention to a conversation. Unless it’s an emergency, he likes to be present in a moment. It’s one of your favorite things about him. It’s also unlike him to be so upset by something on his phone. You can’t think of any person that would be creating that reaction from him. Or anyone that he wouldn’t just ignore until later. You try to put it out of your mind as best you can. If it’s something serious, he’ll talk to you about it. At least, you hope. 

Any other time, you would be thrilled to have your favorite cousin staying at your parents’ house for the holidays. She’s always been your confidant and one of your safe spaces. Now? You can’t stand it. You really wish she would be literally anywhere else. Just the sight of her is getting to be enough to set you off. It seems like she’s really taking it to heart that Mingyu is single. You’re not sure what her game is and you hate it. 

Of course, she manages to corner you the second you’re back to your parents’ house. You’re not exactly paying all that much attention, though. The end of brunch with your friends had been a little weird, even if nobody else noticed it. Mingyu accepted all the praise for the things he made, but was distracted by his phone. Someone, you’re not really sure who, kept sending him messages. Whatever it was didn’t seem to be making him happy. Not that you really have any right to ask him who’s blowing up his phone. It’s just a little weird. Usually he’s so present in events like brunch. It’s odd to see him constantly checking his phone. Odder still that he had headed off to the bedroom as soon as you got back. You’re a little buzzed from the mimosas. Mingyu, on the other hand, is very sober.

“There you are,” Mimi says, appearing as if out of thin air. It makes you jump back, hand on your heart.

“Jesus,” you gasp out.

“No, Mimi,” she jokes. Any other time, it would make you laugh. You’re not so entertained with her now. 

“What are you sneaking up on me for?” you ask instead. 

She rolls her eyes and looks around. “I’m not sneaking up on you. I was just trying to catch you away from the others.”

“Why?”

“Why do you have that fake boyfriend of yours on such a tight leash?”

Out of habit, you look around to make sure nobody is listening. Everyone seems too busy, though. “I don’t have Mingyu on a leash.”

“Then explain why he’s basically refusing to answer any of my texts,” she says, arms crossed.

“I don’t know why…wait a minute. Was it you texting him while we were at brunch?” you ask.

This, somehow, seems to satisfy her. “Oh, so he’s not telling you who’s texting him.” 

“I didn’t ask, honestly.”

“Well, I don’t see why he’d be ignoring - “

Your brain catches up then. “Hang on. How the fuck did you get his number?” 

Mimi rolls her eyes again with a huff. “Please. You’ve had the same passcode on your phone for ages. I just grabbed it when you left your phone out.” 

“That’s so fucked, Mimi. You can’t just go through my phone or take his number,” you say. 

“You’re no fun anymore,” she says with a whine.

You’re not interested in hearing anything else she has to say because you just want to talk to Mingyu. This is getting insane that she’s going to this amount of trouble just to try to get to him. Yet, it’s also weird he kept it to himself that she was texting him. The two of you have talked a lot about the shit Mimi pulls in order to get close to him. Why is it different now that she’s texting him while he’s out with your friends? Is he starting to get worn out from dealing with the insanity of your family? Every other time he’s been around, it’s been really chill. This time, not so much. 

Up in your room, you don’t initially see Mingyu. You’re not sure what you’re expecting. Maybe him on his phone texting or else complaining to another friend about how this whole trip is going. Or even talking to his sister about getting out to see her instead of staying here. None of that happens, though. Instead, you find him in the bathroom applying a face mask. It’s a little ridiculous and definitely the last thing you expect. But, you also know that it’s a sign he’s carrying some amount of stress. 

That’s the thing about being as close to someone as you are to Mingyu. To most people, he’s got this unfailing streak of energy and kindness. He’s the kind of person that lets himself be bullied by all his friends even though he could definitely take them. It’s all part of making sure everyone is enjoying themselves and most things just roll off his broad shoulders. There are hidden depths to him, too. Sometimes he gets a little worn out because he’ll keep things to himself instead of burdening someone else. He takes so much onto his own plate and you wish he wouldn’t. At least, not always. He’ll go until it feels a little unbearable and then finally speak up. He’ll force a smile even when he doesn’t feel like it just to make sure nobody else realizes anything is wrong. In a way, he folds in on himself a little. But, you’ve been friends for years so you know his tells. Know how to spot the signs. It takes you a little longer this time surrounded by family and some friends. This is one of those signs, though. Taking the time to do a face mask, even if it’s in the middle of the day, to just give him an excuse to be quiet. 

You’re not usually the one to initiate physical contact with him. Not because you don’t want to, he just never really gives you the chance. He’s like a human koala most of the time. With his back to the door and his eyes closed to enjoy the feeling of the mask, he doesn’t even hear you approach. Your hands wind around his waist, hugging him tightly from the back and your head rests between his shoulder blades. For the briefest moment, he tenses and you worry that he’s using this as a break from you. Then, he realizes it’s just you and his entire body relaxes. He puts his hands over yours and sighs softly. After a moment, it doesn’t seem like it’s enough because he turns in your arms and pulls you tight against his chest, wrapping you so tightly in his own arms that you would complain in any other situation. Not now, though. Not when he’s putting himself through all of this just so you don’t have to have a stressful holiday experience. 

When it’s like this, you don’t dream of pulling away from Mingyu. There’s so much that he does for you and it’s so rare that you can do anything for him in return. So, you’ll stay tightly pressed against him as long as he wants. You won’t be the one to break the hug first. If you can take even a little bit of whatever he’s feeling onto your own shoulders, you will. This trip has been so much better than you could have expected in most ways and you’re determined to be more conscious of his needs. Eventually, he does pull away and let you look up into his face. He looks much more at peace than you expect. Maybe your hugs do have healing powers like he always says. Mingyu turns to remove the face mask and wipe his face before turning back to you.

“I’m sorry,” you say softly into the space between you. 

“For what?” he asks. 

“For the whole drama that is my family,” you start. “Mostly, for Mimi, though.” 

“Ah,” he says and his face falls a little.

“Gyu, I would never have put you in this position if I had known she would be like this,” you say earnestly. 

“I don’t think anyone could have guessed she’d pull all this,” he says with a humorless laugh.

“You should’ve told me that she was texting you and bugging you like that,” you say without any accusation. You just want to be able to share in his burden.

He only shrugs. “We were with your friends and you looked so happy. I didn’t want to bring it down. How did you even find out she was texting me?” 

“She told me,” you say with an eye roll. 

“Really?”

“Well, she cornered me and asked why I had you on such a tight leash…”

“Kinky,” he interrupts and it nearly makes you choke. 

“And then, when I asked how she even got your number, she told me she’d gone into my phone and taken it,” you say to avoid thinking too deeply about Mingyu and any kinks he might have. 

“Bold,” he observes. 

“Do you like that?” you ask before you can stop yourself.

The second the question comes out of your mouth, you wish you could take it back. What is going on with your brain today? First you’re losing your train of thought watching Mingyu lick something off his finger. Then, you’re wondering about his kinks. Now, you’re wondering if he likes someone that’s a little bit bold. It’s got to just be the atmosphere that you’re in. Or that you’re pretending to date him. It’s messing with your mind and you’re not responsible for the way you act. 

The worst part is that Mingyu’s entire face changes. He gets that knowing look on his face when he meets your eyes. A little cocky. The look that says he knows just how attractive he can be. It’s not usually directed at you and you’re not really sure what to do now that it is. 

“Sometimes,” he says. “Not necessarily from someone I’m not actually interested in, though.” 

“Good to know.” 

Mingyu arches an eyebrow and okay, that’s devastating. Maybe you’re still a little under the influence of the mimosas. There’s no other explanation for the way your knees go a little weak at such a simple movement. “Is it?”

“Huh?” you ask, shaking your head to clear it.

“You said it was good to know and I asked if it was,” he repeats, smirk only deepening.

“Oh, sure,” you say and he seems momentarily surprised. “You know, so I can tell Mimi.”

You’re actually not entirely sure what makes you say it. It’s not like you would ever want him to consider Mimi. It might actually drive you crazy if he went for her. He gets that look on his face that you’re all too familiar with. Affection mixed with exasperation. Nobody seems to get it more than you.

“Too bad for her that I’m very much not interested,” he says. 

“Shame. I don’t know how I would get over the loss.”

“Luckily you don’t have to because you’re stuck with me.”

“Until you actually have a crush on someone again.” 

Even though you say it, you want to take it back as soon as it comes out of your mouth. Images come rushing into your mind of Mingyu falling in love with someone that actually lasts. Someone that could take your best friend away from you. Which should be what you want, right? You should want him to be happy. And you do.  You just can’t really stand the thought of a life where he’s happy without you being right there by his side. This trip makes you think about a lot more than you bargained for. 

“I do have a crush,” he says softly.

“Oh, of course,” you say and look away from him. That’s fine. This is all fine.

His finger is under your chin the next second to pull your face back around to his. It’s the look of patience that you also see a lot. Especially when he’s trying to teach you something in the kitchen. Or explain something from work. Or really just talk about anything he’s passionate about. 

“The crush is on you, dummy,” he says softly. 

“What?” you ask, not sure you heard him correctly. 

With a shake of his head, he steps back to lean against the bathroom. “Of all the times I pictured telling you this, I never considered telling you in the bathroom attached to your old bedroom at your parents’ house.” 

“We don’t…” you start and he shakes his head again.

“No, this probably fits,” he says with a light laugh. The kind when he’s just a little caught off guard himself. “I thought I wanted to tell you after brunch with your friends and, I don’t know, I could be misreading the whole thing, but I think you’re ready to hear it now too. I like you. I’ve been more than happy just to be your friend because I didn’t want to say something before we were both ready. I’m happy to be here as your friend that’s only pretending to date you because I’d do anything to make life easier for you.”

“Mingyu,” you say, so low it’s barely above a whisper. Like you’re afraid to break the quiet in the limited space between you. 

“You don’t have to say…” he starts, only to be interrupted by a loud knock at your bedroom door. 

Your senses are entirely overwhelmed and you wonder what he sees as you look up at him, eyes wide in wonder. Before this, you would say that your brain could process too many things all at the same time. That it always had a million things going on. Now, you can’t seem to do any of that. Can’t focus on anything other than your beautiful best friend before you and the fact that apparently he has feelings for you. You see his mouth move, assume it’s to answer the knock, and have to shake yourself back to reality. Need to come out of this day dream so that you can react to whoever is at the door. 

“Too bad, lovebirds, you have to come downstairs. Attendance for games and cookie decorating is mandatory on Christmas Eve,” your cousin calls back. 

“Mimi, just…” you start to call out to her and Mingyu shakes his head.

“We’ll be right down!” he cuts across you. He waits, seeming like he’s listening for the sound of Mimi walking away from the door. How he can hear anything over the pounding of your heart seems unthinkable. Somehow, he must hear something because he turns back to you with soft eyes and speaks in an even softer voice. “It’s okay, we can talk tonight after dinner or when we come to bed. There’s no pressure for you to even say anything. Our friendship is the most important thing in the world to me.” 

With that, he gives you a quick peck on the top of the head. Something that’s immediately gentler than anything you’ve experienced with him during the entire course of your friendship. The smile he gives you as he steps around you to lead the way down to interact with your family has you go weak in the knees. Has he ever smiled at you like that before? Or is it a new smile? Once upon a time, you would have said that you had every facial expression of his memorized from years spent in each other’s company. Years spent sharing private jokes, going on adventures, complaining about work and family and everything in between. But maybe, you think, there are still things that you can learn about Mingyu. Maybe there are still things that you can learn from him as well. 

When you don’t immediately follow after him, Mingyu turns around to grab your hand and pull you along with him. There’s something about the way he threads his fingers through yours and squeezes that makes your heart pound again before settling down. His touch is gentle, like it always is, and filled with complete care. You don’t notice the way he glances back at you every few steps. Not with concern, but with curiosity. He would have bet he knew your every facial expression and can’t fully place the way you look now. Somehow, even though he can’t completely tell what you’re thinking, he knows that he made the right decision. Knows it was time to tell you what’s been on his mind. Knows that, no matter what, he’s still going to have his best friend on the other side of this trip.

It’s chaos once you and Mingyu get downstairs, like it always is at your parents’ house on Christmas Eve. Though, this definitely seems a little busier than years past. You’re not sure why that is either, but everyone seems to want to join in on the traditions that your parents cling to. In any case, it’s a good thing for you because it lets you just blend into the group of people without your parents paying entirely too much attention to you. Mingyu uses your hand intertwined with his to pull you into him, the way he has countless other times on this trip, and presses a kiss to your temple. Then, he’s off into the kitchen, throwing a joke at your mom about how he’s here now and she doesn’t need to worry. He looks over his shoulder and winks at you as your mother puts him to work mixing ingredients. You honestly don’t even know how you react in response. It must be okay, though, because he smiles back at you.

You love to decorate the cookies and will happily help make them in other situations, but there are already too many cooks in the kitchen. Instead, you help to set up some of the card tables that your parents keep for times like these. It gives people the chance to figure out what they might want to play and who they want to join them. It really is a nice tradition, no matter how you feel about your parents. And since your mother usually spends more time on baking and decorating the cookies, she doesn’t notice if things get a little too competitive between you and the cousins. Or if your father eggs the rest of you on while he watches. She has her favorite parts and lets everyone else do whatever it is they want to do. As long as everyone takes a break to help with decorating the cookies. Not that it’s ever a concern, that’s most people’s favorite part. 

Once the tables are all set up, you settle into a board game with some of your cousins. Usually, you’re one of the more competitive ones. Board games come pretty easily to you and you pick up on the strategy quickly. If your cousins notice that you’re not nearly as invested this time, they let you have it. And they do notice it, pretty quickly, but let you have it. It’s easy to see you’re distracted and to see that you keep glancing into the kitchen at Mingyu. They just let you have it. It’s in their best interest, anyway. It’s nice to get the chance to win without you being fully committed to beating everyone around you. 

This kind of setting really gives you a chance to think without shutting yourself away in your bedroom. That’s too obvious. You can’t just say that your best friend confessed feelings for you and now you need to figure out what your own feelings are. Not when he’s pretending to be your boyfriend already. Not when your whole family already thinks you’re lying about having just gotten together with him. And not when your mother would probably kill you if you missed out on traditions that may be older than you are. 

All the spiralling in your brain is just cover, you realize, for the bigger picture. Mingyu likes you and he thinks this is the right time to have a conversation about it. He also knows that your friendship is the most important. You agree. He’s one of the most important people in your life, but is he more than that to you too? Is it possible that it’s more than friendship? That’s not something you ever considered. When you and Mingyu met in university it was through someone you were dating at the time. The relationship was, fortunately, very short lived. But the friendship with Mingyu, that was the stuff of stories. That instant connection that survived the breakup. The two of you always joke that your friendship was meant to be and that’s why it lasted when the relationship didn’t. Why others could come and go from your lives but you two are forever. Especially when either of you has dated someone that had an issue with the friendship. It’s insane to think that men and women can’t be friends. A completely archaic way of thinking. 

That makes you think about your friendship with Seungkwan, though. Someone in your life who has also always been a constant. Someone who supports all your rights and your wrongs, even if he gives you a hard time too. And that’s when something else clicks. Your past partners haven’t objected to your friendship with Seungkwan nearly as often as your friendship with Mingyu. It’s not that he’s not attractive, because he definitely is. It can’t be that you’re not as close. Seungkwan has been with you through a lot. It could be that there's been more distance between you and him since you moved away, but you’re not sure that’s it either. He’s a constant in your life even from a distance. When you can’t see him, you regularly FaceTime him. So, no, he’s still present even if he’s not in the same city. 

And then it hits you. You don’t watch Seungkwan lick something off his finger while he’s cooking.  You don’t get jealous of your cousin hitting on him, regardless of what else is going on. You don’t seek out physical affection in the same way. Don’t find yourself looking over at Seungkwan for his reaction to everything going on around you. Don’t want to know his thoughts on something before you make each big decision. Seungkwan is your best friend and he means the world to you, but the thought of him constantly kissing you on the cheek or the temple or forehead or even the back of your hand doesn’t unleash butterflies in your stomach. 

Holy shit. You’re in love with Mingyu. Definitely in way over your head with feelings that should have been obvious to you. It’s impossible to pinpoint when it might have happened or how. Maybe there isn’t a specific time. Maybe it’s something that happens slowly over time. You know that when you first became friends it was only that, a friendship. Someone that you could be yourself around and feel at home with in a very foreign environment. Somewhere along the way, it’s morphed into more. He really is the person you want to share all your news with, the person that you look to for support first. It’s so clear to you that your feelings are there now that he’s confessed and gotten you thinking about it. When you meet his eyes across the room, you wonder if he can see the realization on your face. 

Now that you realize that you also have feelings for Mingyu, you’re not sure how you missed it before. If you consider the traits you’re looking for in a partner, he ticks off every box. And if you’re being completely honest, he’s been the reason for adding some traits to your list. So, not that you’ll admit this to any of your most recent exes, but maybe they had a point when they questioned your relationship with Mingyu. Not a big point. They still had shitty reasons for disliking Mingyu, but a small point nonetheless. 

The rest of the evening seems to go by entirely too slowly, even if you do enjoy yourself. Much to the dismay of your cousins, you’re no longer distracted and you proceed to kick their asses at any game they suggest. You do go a little easier on them than normal, though, and avoid any of the trash talk. Thankfully Seungkwan isn’t there to point out that being in a good mood makes you soft. Even decorating the cookies is more fun than you can remember. You try not to think about whether that’s because Mingyu sits right next to you the whole time, trying to sabotage your cookie designs or make you laugh with his own. Spoiler alert: it absolutely is and you’re already down horrendous. It’s even easier to act like a cute couple in love now than it was before. And you also ignore the realization that it being so easy to pretend to be in a relationship with your best friend should have also been an indicator. Nobody ever said you were the most observant when it came to your own feelings. 

Finally, you get a free moment to go upstairs. It’s time to get changed for Christmas Eve dinner and that gives you both the chance to excuse yourselves. The only person who seems to be tracking the movement with some amount of interest is Mimi. You’re too caught up in reaching out for Mingyu’s hand to notice, though. His smile at the action is immediately familiar and new. Familiar because you know his face better than your own and new because you didn’t expect to see him looking at you like that.

“I didn’t expect your mom to have me working so hard in the kitchen helping with the cookie dough,” he says once you close the door. 

“Oh, I did,” you say through a snort. 

“How was the - “ 

“You were right.” 

You both go to speak at the same time and Mingyu’s mouth closes the second he realizes what you said. Whatever he wants to ask dies on his tongue over three words from your mouth. They might just be the second best three words you could say to him right then. 

“About?” he prompts. 

“It was the right time to tell me,” you confirm for him. It’s clear that he’s biting his tongue to let you say whatever you need to. Even if he knows by the look on your face. “I like you too.” 

“Thank fucking god,” he says with an exhale. “When Seungkwan told me that I should tell you because he caught you watching me, I thought he was being a shit and…”

“Wait, what?” you ask. Fucking Seungkwan. Of course.

“Oh, yeah, at brunch earlier he said that he noticed you watching me while I was cooking and that if I liked you like he thought I did, that I should probably tell you,” he says a little sheepishly. 

“You know what? Forget Seungkwan. I need to see something,” you say and close the space between you. 

Before Mingyu can ask anything, you’re on your tiptoes, hands cupping his face and lips pressed to his. He wraps his arms around your lower back to pull you tighter against his body without missing a beat. And that really is all you need to know. Everything is in that first real kiss. Any lingering hesitations slip away. You can feel his promises and the answers to the questions you know you’ll have to actually ask in that kiss. For now, it just feels like coming home. Like you found the person that can get through all the bullshit and remind you about what’s actually important in life. 

“Wow,” you say when you pull away.

“Yeah,” he agrees. 

“Is that what I’ve been missing out on?” you wonder.

“Just how long have you liked me?” he says with an all too knowing smirk. 

“I only realized today so I’ve got some catch up to do,” you joke. 

“We both do, I think,” he says. 

Without having to say a word, both of you get ready for Christmas dinner since your mother insists that you get dressed up. Every few seconds one of you seems to catch the other looking. It feels exciting, but you’re also a little shy. There’s a lot to talk about and a lot to navigate. You know you can’t put it aside. It just doesn’t feel as time sensitive now. This is one of the most important people in your life and it’s going to work out. At least, if you can get through the whole drawn out affair that is dinner first. 

Which you do. Through all your mother’s courses and all the formality that she insists on following, you have Mingyu by your side. You’re not even distracted by Mimi on the other side of the table. She can’t seem to take her eyes off you while you and Mingyu can’t take your eyes off each other. More than once, you entirely miss a question and Mingyu has to nudge you to prompt you. It’s not your fault, you reason. He’s just so insanely attractive and made all the more so because you know that he’s a genuinely wonderful person. 

Every part of you wants to skip the after dinner drinks and go back upstairs with Mingyu, but he quietly insists that you should stay. Even laughs when you turn his signature pout back around on him. If he makes a good point that you have nothing but time, you still want to take advantage of some of that time right now. Instead, you sip on your rumchata and curl into Mingyu on the oversized armchair by the fire. Despite trying to leave a little bit of space, you’re basically sitting on his lap at his own insistence. 

Once the first people start to call it a night, you look at Mingyu with nearly pleading eyes. That gets a light laugh out of him as he nods to agree that you can go upstairs to your bedroom. You say your goodnights to everyone in the room, wish people a Happy Christmas Eve, and lead the way back up to your room even though he doesn’t need the directions 

It’s nice to have uninterrupted time to figure everything out with Mingyu now that your feelings are out in the open. And once you’re both changed and through your skincare routines, you get into bed just to talk. It’s remarkable how much can fall into place so easily. It’s obvious that he figured out his feelings first. You insist that yours are already just as strong. The two of you depend on each other in everything without realizing it. Turn to each other for support. Share in all the best news. Suffer through any heartbreak together. In the years of friendship, there’s something deeper than either of you ever expected.

Honestly, it’s not even something either of you just held onto or harbored for years. The feelings really came suddenly. Mingyu shares that he wasn’t just waiting around to tell you that he had feelings for you. He also shares, though you already know, that no part of him felt entitled to your returned feelings. Had Seungkwan not said something, he’s not even sure if or when he would have said something. The last thing he would ever want was to make you uncomfortable. As much as he cares about you and wants to explore the relationship, you’re also the best friend he’s ever had. You feel the same. It’s a little scary and exciting at the same time. You trust Mingyu with your heart in a way that you’ve never trusted anyone else.

It’s entirely too late into the night by the time you and Mingyu fall asleep. How the two of you have so much to say at this point in the friendship is something to be studied. But, eventually you drift off, completely intertwined with Mingyu. He’s been a cuddler this whole trip and you’re not sure how he’s gotten himself even more attached to you. Yet, he does. It’s like any space between you would be too much. It’s too much satisfaction to give him that he’s right. He can tell anyway. 

When you wake up, it feels too early. A fact only confirmed when you check your phone. None of the little cousins or your cousins with kids are staying at your parents’ house. So, you know that it doesn’t have to be an early start to the morning. You consider if you can drift off back to sleep. In the night, you ended up with Mingyu spooning you. His arm is loosely draped over you and your back is pressed somewhat lightly into his chest. When you go to adjust to think about drifting back off, your ass brushes against his hips, you feel something press into you. That stops you for a moment. Obviously, you and Mingyu talked about sex the night before. About how you wanted to try to take it a little slower since this means so much to both of you. And obviously you know that it’s relatively common for a guy to wake up a little hard. Your brain knows all those things. Knows what you should do. You should just reposition and go back to sleep. 

That’s not what you actually do though. 

So carefully that it could be an accident, you wiggle against him, a little harder this time. You yawn like you’re actually just adjusting to get comfortable and fall back asleep. He might let you get away with it, too, if you didn’t do it more than once, pressing further back into him each time. You know he’s awake by the sharp intake of breath and then the way he moves his hand to grip your thigh. The way his fingertips dig into your skin there makes you grind back harder without pretending it’s anything else. 

Mingyu puts his lips to your ear. “Are you trying to drive me crazy?” 

“No,” you whisper. 

“I thought we said we were going to take it slow,” he says with incredible difficulty.

“I can move slower,” you answer immediately. It feels gratifying when he snaps his hips into your ass. 

“You’re teasing me,” he whines.

“Not if I follow through,” you say. “I want you, Mingyu. I don’t want to wait.” 

“Fuck,” he hisses as you continue to grind into him. “I want you to.” 

“Then…” you start and immediately cut off as his hand winds back around to your front. He grabs your pussy through your shorts that suddenly feel too flimsy. Runs his long middle finger up your core and you immediately know you started something that he’s going to finish. 

But his hand is gone entirely too quickly. Worse still, he pulls back. It’s only long enough for him to turn you towards him and then pull you on top of him. Your brain catches back up once you’re straddle over him and he pulls your face towards him. You kiss him like you haven’t yet. Full of desire and desperation. Nothing like the first few kisses you share. Those kisses were to make sure this was right. This kiss is to ruin him. Maybe to ruin yourself as well. His hands are on your hips, anchoring you to him, not that there’s anywhere else you could possibly be. 

It’s never been like this with anyone. Just some heavy kissing and you’re already getting turned on. Already wondering what’s next. What it’s going to feel like. If Mingyu is the type of person that will take his time with you. It’s hard to imagine when he seems just as desperate as you are. At least, he tries to anchor you in a certain position so that you can’t grind too much. Maybe he does want to savor it. You really are down horrendous for this man because you think you could just kiss him like this forever and never quite get enough. 

All too soon, Mingyu rolls the pair of you over again. Now he’s hovering over you and nobody has any business being that hot. And then he pulls back, somewhat straddling your legs without putting too much weight on you. In one movement, he pulls his shirt over his head and casts it aside. Okay, now you really think that nobody has any business being that hot. And sure, you’ve seen him shirtless before. This is just different. You don’t even realize as he’s reaching for your shirt until you feel his fingers brush the skin of your stomach. He’s looking for permission, but you’re a little impatient and pull the shirt off yourself. You’re not sure that anyone has ever looked at your body with so much love. Like he’s just as amazed as you are. He peppers your chest and your chest and your stomach with kisses. Showing you just how much he loves every bit of you. It’s the safest feeling in the world and you’re not really sure how you got this lucky. 

Mingyu is so gentle when he pulls your shorts off. Trails kisses along your thighs as well and makes you shiver. Chuckles when he pulls his own off and you swallow at the sight of him. He’s a big guy and somehow you’re still not expecting his dick to be big like it is. Haven’t ever really thought about it in all the time you’ve been friends. You expect him to be all confident seeing your reaction. There’s something else there too, though. Like he’s a little nervous about this. You’re not really sure what to say to reassure him, so you just pull him back to you to kiss him again. He adjusts into you almost immediately, half laying on top of you while still making sure that he’s not crushing you.

This time kissing him is very different, though. He moves one hand between your legs. It’s gentle at first. He only runs his finger up your center a few times. Catches each moan with his kisses. Slowly works a finger inside you and pumps at a languid pace. It turns you into a whiny, squirming mess entirely too quickly. Empties any thoughts or worries out of your head. You know you can’t be too loud and you hate it. Nobody should be able to kiss this well while also hitting the perfect spot with each pass of his fingers. He adds a second finger and you’re sure that you’re done for. Sure that nothing else will ever feel as perfect as him again. You reach to stroke him and he pulls back. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask, unable to hide the concern in your voice.

“No, nothing,” he assures you quickly. “I just, um, well I really want to fuck you and I’m not sure I could handle it if…”

“Do you have a condom?” you ask, already ready to say it doesn’t matter if you have to.

“I might?” he says more like a question and gets off the bed to cross to his bag with too much speed. In any other situation you might laugh. Now, you just want to feel him. A moment later, after rifling through his bag, he comes back up with one. 

He’s moving back to you, unwrapping the condom, and then he looks up at you. There’s a question in his eyes.

“Yes, Mingyu, I want this. And yes, I want it here,” you assure him. 

Thankfully, that’s the only confirmation he needs. In the next second, he’s pumping himself a few times and rolling the rubber onto himself. You move to reposition, but he doesn’t let you. He gently presses you back and gets between your legs. Carefully, he lines himself up and presses in. 

“Oh fuck,” you hiss out, trying to stay quiet. 

“Too much?” he asks and stills.

“No, Gyu, just move, please,” you whine out, pulling him into you. 

He does exactly what you ask and snaps his hips so he’s fully buried inside you. It’s a stretch in the best way. Like this is exactly how it’s supposed to be. You can’t help it, you moan out the first time he thrusts and he catches the second moan with another bruising kiss. Probably better to have bruised lips than to have your family hear the screams you let out as he fucks you. Probably better than having them hear his moans as well. They vibrate through his chest and it gives you a sense of pride. Mingyu is a taker in every sense of his life. You know that it must be killing him to keep quiet now. 

The two of you fall into a perfect rhythm without even trying. There’s nothing awkward about it being your first time. Knowing each other as well as you do as friends seems to translate here. Or maybe Mingyu just pays much closer attention to you than you realize. You run your nails down his back and his thrusts stutter so you do it again. That seems to get to him. He picks up the paces of his thrusts. Pulls his dick almost all the way out of you before quickly snapping his hips to bury himself in your pussy again. Never in your life has sex as simple as this position felt so good. Never has anyone you’ve dated felt this perfect. 

When Mingyu’s thrusts start to stutter, you reach down between your bodies to rub your clit. Seconds later, your pussy clenches around Mingyu and your vision whites out. You can feel Mingyu release and try to pick up the pace to work him through his own orgasm. He half collapses on you, breathing heavy. Both of you have to catch your breath from all the kisses to muffle the noises as well. He tries to roll over so that he’s not on top of you and you cling to him, not ready to lose contact just yet.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures you.

“I know.” 

“That was…” 

“Better than I was expecting.” 

You can feel his eyes on you even without looking and it makes you smile. Can imagine what he’s about to say before he even opens his mouth.

“Oh, you didn’t think I’d be any good?” 

You laugh at that as you turn to face him. “No, I thought you’d be good. I just didn’t expect our first time where we had to be quiet because we’re in my parents house to be that good.” 

He considers your words for a second.

“I guess I can take that,” he concedes. 

“Come on. We have to clean up and get downstairs,” you say and he sighs dramatically. But, then he gets up and helps you up with him. 

Half an hour later, you’re downstairs at the kitchen table sipping on a peppermint mocha latte and picking out your favorite pastries from the spread your mother has out. Mingyu has his chair pulled close to you and his arm along the back of your chair. Your cousin is sitting on your other side, cheerily humming under her breath. In a strange move, she isn’t even trying to speak to Mingyu. Just as you’re trying to figure out what’s going on with her, she turns to you.

“Have a good morning?” she asks knowingly.

“We’ll talk about it later,” you hiss back, casting your eyes around. 

“No need,” she waves off and shoots a smirk at you. “I got exactly what I wanted.” 

“I don’t…” 

“Seungkwan and I have been talking a lot. Plotting, I guess you could say. Seems like it finally paid off,” she says and your jaw hangs open. 

“Are you…did you just…” you stutter out. 

“As long as it’s real now,” she says and doesn’t wait for confirmation. Doesn’t need it, when it’s written all over your face. “We can talk about it later but I am sorry.” 

“You and fucking Seungkwan,” you grumble. 

It is a weight off your chest, though. Mimi has always been your favorite. A safe space in all the insanity of your family. It’s good to know that she’s still that for you. The two of you can argue about her methods, or her alliance with Seungkwan, later. It’s hard to ignore that it did actually help. You’re in this place because some of your favorite people meddled to help you and Mingyu see sense. Maybe you can say all is well that ends well. 

In between all the chaos of breakfast and making sure the presents are under the tree, you manage to tell Mingyu about what Mimi had really been up to. He seems relieved. Not even annoyed, just happy that things can settle into whatever the new normal looks like for you and him. You also find time to whisper all the things you want to do to him when there aren’t prying eyes around. It may be cruel, but you delight in the way the blush rises up his cheeks and the way he shifts in his seat. You’re going to have a lot of fun playing with him, you already know. He’s so easy to rile up. Now you have brand new material to use on him. 

Your mother works to corral everyone into the living room where the Christmas tree is so that people can start opening presents. You always hold back and watch at first. Don’t even make an effort to find anything that might be for you. It’s more fun to see people’s reactions. Does your mother like what your father picked out? Are your cousins humoring their parents? Did someone manage to get something that’s genuinely a surprise? There’s never a dull moment. In fact, you’re so lost in thought watching that you don't notice wasn’t beside you until he plops back down and nudges you. Hands a small, beautifully wrapped box over to you. 

“Go on, open it,” he urges you softly. It’s clear he’s trying not to draw too much attention. 

Exchanging gifts with Mingyu isn’t new. It’s something you do every year. This is unexpected though. Usually you exchange gifts away from other people because they can be a little silly. Nothing about this feels silly, though. With a final questioning glance at him, you pull the ribbon off and carefully ripping the paper. It’s immediately clear that it’s a jewelry box. That makes your heart hammer. You can’t even look over at him. Surely this is something he had already. It’s not like there’s been any time to go out and get something in the midst of all your confessions. 

There’s a necklace inside the box. Something that looks old, important. The kind of thing you can tell has been well worn and loved without looking cheap. There’s a pendant hanging from the chain with your favorite stone in a setting that you instantly love. It’s the most perfect gift that anyone has ever given you and it makes you a little emotional. You turn to Mingyu, tears welling in your eyes, and want to have the moment just for the two of you. Unfortunately, your mother and several other family members watch your reaction.

“It’s beautiful,” you say softly.

“Do you like it?” he asks, still unsure.

“I love it,” you say earnestly.

“It was my grandmother’s that she got from her grandmother before her. She told me to hold onto it and that I would just know when I should give it to someone,” he says and that does you in. Any last resolve disappears. 

The only response you can think of is to just kiss him. A real kiss pressed to his lips full of all the words you can’t say about how much a present like this means to you. How sure you are that you two are making the right decision. It’s so meaningful. 

“I love you,” he says quietly, trying to keep it just for the two of you. Which doesn’t happen. Not that it matters. Your parents have heard you saying you loved each other this whole trip. It means something different now, though.

“I love you, too,” you say back. “So much.” 

“It’s a beautiful necklace,” your mother offers as Mingyu helps you to put it on. 

“I thought it would look good on her,” he adds to your mother. 

“Almost as good as a ring,” your mother says. It’s the least subtle comment in the entire world.

Mingyu doesn’t miss a beat. Just smiles and nods a little. “Well, maybe you’ll have to invite me back next year and see what the gift is.” 

“You have a deal.” 

For the first time, you’re not upset with your mother for bringing up marriage and the idea of settling down. You’re just basking in the affection coming from Mingyu and appreciating your new necklace. Soon, you’ll have to leave this little bubble. Trade the idyllic snow covered scenery where everything moves a little slower for your life back in the city. But, you’ll be taking a different relationship with Mingyu back. You think that maybe he’ll be the key to you finally figuring out how to balance it all. Maybe he’s been the answer all along. 

[waves-against-a-cliff]

After the End - Post-Apocalypse Omegaverse AU

Summary - Take care of the Omega

Tags - Omegaverse (duh), alpha/beta/omega dynamics, non traditional dynamics, all of the 141 are alphas, you're an omega. SMUT, dub-con, fingering knotting, mating press, polyamory, alphas love alphas. 141 x reader, injuries, masturbation

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The four of them enter the cabin, stepping carefully to not make a sound on the wooden floorboards. The tiniest of sounds make each of them wince just a little. “This place is trapped,” Soap mutters as he steps in and tries to breathe past the smell of omega. The entire place was drenched in the smell, pine and granny smith apples. Tangy and spoke years in this forest but it suited you. “Wonder if ye will be like a smith apple,” he mutters to himself before he’s elbowed by Ghost.

“Don’t talk to yerself.” His lieutenant says gruffly but his brown eyes show the amusement he tries to hide in his voice.

“Ach, come on LT, dinnae tell me you cannae smell it too,” Soap teases and Ghost just grunts.

Beneath them none of them know you lie in your nest of blankets and pillows, hand between your thighs as you listen to their muffled talk. The accent of the one you shot shouldn’t do as much as it is for you, slick gushing out from around your fingers while you lick your lips mind reeling with the prospect of them making it down to where you were now.

Pressing one palm against your mouth to muffle the sound of your whimper as your cunt clenches down on your fingers and more slick leaks out wetting the blankets and your thighs as you think about them.

The hours pass and you giggle to yourself whenever you hear cursing or yelling from above. For such a small cabin you’re quite proud of yourself for managing to trap nearly every inch of it. If they manage to avoid one trap they are almost guaranteed to run into another which makes you have to muffle your howls of laughter.

“Fuckin’ omega,” Price curses as he disarms a particularly deadly trap that involves an axe that nicked him in the ear.

“She nearly got ya there Cap’n,” Gaz says a little teasingly but no one could deny the tension in his voice as his fellow alpha disarms the trap. As soon as it was disarmed Gaz walks up to Price and dabs away the blood on his ear. “Didn’t take your whole ear off at least, might’ve had to reconsider some things if she had.”

“Getting cheeky now?” Price grumbles and Gaz just gives him on his crooked and mischievous grins.

“I would never.”

When they finally got to the stairwell that led down none of them could deny how they felt. “There has to be one more,” Ghost muttered, rubbing his shoulder where a steak knife had lodged itself into his muscle. That had been fun to pull out and patch.

“Oh undoubtedly,” Price replies as he steps forward and breathes in deep. “But I can smell her down there. She’s in heat Simon,” he says and something within his chest rumbles. Ghost shares a look with Soap who looks like an addict about to get their first fix in months.

“Gaz goes first,” Ghost says, looking to the prettiest of the alphas.

Price opens his mouth to object before he closes it and considers what his lieutenant is suggesting. “Any particular reason why?” Price asks and Ghost shrugs.

“Call it a hunch.”

Price looks to Gaz who stares down the unlit steps into the cellar with his heart thrumming against his chest. “It's your choice, sergeant. What will it be?”

Gaz swallows and glances between the three of them before he steps forward. “I’ll go first but you’ll follow my lead. If you spook her I don’t imagine any of us will be having a good time.” Everyone exchanges a glance but says nothing as Gaz grabs Prices lighter and flips it open to light the way down the stairs. About half way down the stairs Gaz hears a click. “Get down!” He shouts just in time because a wooden log comes down from the ceiling ready to hit whoever was in its path.

“Steamin’ jesus,” Soap curses as he looks it over. “She's really aimin’ to kill.”

“Of course she is, we’ve invaded her territory,” Gaz grumbles but no one hears him or they ignore him. “I think that might be the only one here, it looks old,” he says as he shines a light against the metal holding it in place, rusted and Gaz imagines that it kept it from coming down at the speed it was intended.

At the end of the stairs is a cellar. It smells of dirt and must but there’s one scent that overpowers it completely. The smell of pine needles and granny smith apples along with the sweet tinge of heat. Gaz holds his arm out, “Let me do the talking and Soap, keep to the back.”

“Ach, this insae fair,” he grumbles as he goes to back of the pack and Gaz’s shoulders relax slightly. The sight before them when they enter fully is like one from the heavens above. If heaven’s prettiest angel was growling and hissing that is.

You struggle to keep your eyelids from fluttering closed at the smell of all four of them in your newest safe space. You back into the corner of your nest, growling and hissing at them as they all step forward. “Go away!” You snarl as you fight against the tremors in your body. Four alphas! They all survived! Strong alphas, they must be! Your inner omega yips and celebrates but you refuse to give in.

“You’re-” you swallow the saliva building in your mouth, “you’re in my territory!”

The prettiest of the four steps forward, palms extended to show no weapons or intent to harm. “Omega,” he whispers and his voice is like a balm for your rage and fear. Even better, he stops at the edge of your nest and doesn’t enter without your permission which makes your chest rumble with something resembling a purr. A half purr half growl. “We just want to help.”

“Help how? By-” your cut off by a whimper as heat pulses through your core. “By invading my territory?”

“We never meant to invade your territory,” he soothes and you blink at him. You find yourself drowning in those brown eyes, believing that face.

“Promise?” It comes out more meek than you intended.

“Promise. And we won’t break any rules, you just have to tell us pretty omega.”

So you do. “No marking.” Is the first thing that leaves your mouth. “A-and no name calling.” You quickly add on as you glance at the mean looking one, the one with a balaclava with a skull on it.

“Okay. Okay we can follow those rules. Right men?” He glances behind him at the three others who all nod. You shrink away from the corner and settle back into your comfortable nest.

“You can come into my nest now,” You mumble and look away, heart beating so hard against your chest you can feel in your throat. As the pretty one settles between your thighs he blinks those brown eyes up at you.

“My name's Kyle sweet thing,” he says and when you say his name to him he groans, resting his cheek on your sensitive inner thigh and rubbing his stubble against it. His hands gently pry your supple thighs apart a little further and press a kiss to your inner thigh. “I’m gonna take care of you, we all are.” You glance and look at the three others, shrinking away when you realize all of their eyes are on you. You open your mouth to say something but it dies on your lips as two fingers slip inside your slick cunt.

You grab onto his shoulders and blink feverishly at him, trying to find yourself as a wave of heat washes over you. A gasp leaves your lips as he begins to move his fingers, slowly at first. Like watching syrup drip from the bottle. Pulling slowly from the grip of your cunt and bringing up the slick gathered on his fingers to your hardened clit. You melt into your nest as he moves his fingers in circles around your clit. “There’s a good omega,” he coos as his other hand takes over circling your clit while the other returns to sink two fingers back into you.

“Kyle mmpf-” you bury your face into the pillow beside you as he works you up too quickly. It's too much and somehow not enough. The more he pets at the walls of your cunt, in search of something, the more the heat in your stomach builds and your breathing turns heavier.

He grabs your chin and forces you to look at him, grinding his palm up against your clit now instead. Your gasping for air, hands finding his shoulders and nails digging in as his fingers touch that part inside you that makes you wail and spill slick all over his fingers. “Yeah there it is,” he mutters, never breaking eye contact with you as he picks up the pace.

“I-I can’t,” you whimper, already regretting the several orgasms you had given yourself earlier. Every nerve feels like it’s been lit on fire, fried and you can’t fight the thing building up inside of you. “Kyle please.”

“Aw she's beggin’ now, cmon Gaz.” One of the others speaks and you growl at whoever said that while your brain processes the accent. You bare your teeth at the Scottish one who has a nasty grin on his face and watch as he’s dragged back by the biggest of all of them.

“No, no.” Kyle says and brings your attention back to him and his fingers curling inside you. “Cum for me pretty omega,” he says and you whimper. “Like that name for you? Pretty omega,” he coos while you nod. Heat licks up your spine and you feel like you’re broken in half when it finally happens. Your nails dig into his flesh as your cunt pulses around his fingers. No sound comes from you besides a choked gasp and he keeps moving his fingers in and out as you gyrate your hips to wring as much pleasure from this as possible.

Finally you stop, breathing in deep while he stares down at the mess you made of his hand. “Please Kyle,” you whimper as a haze falls over you completely. “Please fuck me.”

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[aesthetically-dying101]

Trainwreck

A/N: *sighs* can you guys guess who i wrote for? yes its nanami

warnings: innapropriate workplace behavior (this is all so unrealistic pls), thats mostly it, maybe a bit OOC? idk obsessive behavior, lowkey creepy

Nanami Kento prides himself on being a man of structure. He clocks in at 8:00 AM sharp, organizes his desk with ruthless efficiency, and approaches every task with a quiet, burning determination. But recently—recently, you’ve ruined him.

Completely, utterly ruined him.

You’re not even his boss. No, you’re her secretary. Just the secretary, really.

A pleasant smile in the hallway, the click of heels passing by his office door. You’re always polite, professional. Efficient. And yet, you’ve utterly dismantled every ounce of his composure.

He notices everything about you.

He notices too much.

The way you tuck your hair behind your ear when you're focused, the faint scent of your perfume (something floral but not cloying, clean and perfect). The way you laugh softly with the receptionist when you think no one is listening.

God, you never wear a wedding band.

He’s looked.

He’s ashamed of how often he’s looked.

He hates himself for it—hates the way his chest tightens when he hears your voice. Hates the way his thoughts stray in the quiet moments of the day, imagining what it would be like if you looked at him the way he looks at you.

But you barely notice him.

At least, that’s what he tells himself. Why would you? He’s just another cog in the machine, another suit with no significance beyond his output.

Nanami lets out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’s supposed to be working, but instead, he’s replaying that moment from earlier today: the way you’d popped into the breakroom, looking fresh and radiant in that blouse that he’s now convinced was designed to torment him.

“Oh, hi, Nanami,” you’d said, smiling at him as you poured yourself a cup of coffee. It had been such a simple, innocent thing. And yet, his brain had short-circuited.

“Morning,” he’d managed, stiff and awkward, and he’s sure you noticed. God, why did his voice sound so clipped?

“You doing okay? You looked a little stressed in the meeting earlier.”

And that had really done it. Your concern—casual, effortless—had hit him like a freight train. He could barely stammer out a reply before you were gone, leaving him standing there, coffee untouched, his heart doing somersaults in his chest.

He wants to believe he’s subtle about it, but he knows better. He’s not subtle. Not when he hangs back in the breakroom just to hear you chatting with someone, filing away every detail like the pathetic little moth he is, hopelessly drawn to your flame.

“Yeah, no, I’m just focusing on work right now,” you’d said once, when someone asked if you had any plans for the weekend. No mention of a boyfriend. No hint of anyone waiting for you at home.

It shouldn’t matter, and yet it feels like the cruelest kind of hope, igniting in his chest despite himself.

Nanami leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. He’s disgusting. Obsessed. You’re probably not even aware of his existence beyond the bare minimum. Why would you be? You’re smart, funny, stunning��and he’s just him. Dull. Predictable. The kind of guy women settle for when they’re tired of the fireworks.

But oh, if you ever gave him the chance. If you so much as glanced in his direction with anything resembling interest, he’d fall to his knees. Worship you. Do anything to make you happy.

It’s humiliating. The longing, the yearning, the ache.

And yet he can’t stop.

His thoughts spiral as the hours drag on, oscillating between bitterness and hope. He tells himself to stop—orders himself to focus—but his mind keeps circling back to you.

Always you.

The end of the day finally comes, and as he’s gathering his things, he hears the soft sound of your voice drifting from the hallway.

“Night, Nanami!”

You wave as you pass, the gesture casual but bright enough to light up the entire goddamn floor.

“Goodnight,” he replies, quieter than he means to. His hand tightens on his briefcase.

You disappear around the corner, and Nanami stays frozen for a moment, staring at the space where you’d been.

*-*

It’s Christmas in the office.

The annual “holiday celebration,” a thinly veiled excuse for everyone to slack off in the name of festivity. Nanami hates it—or at least he wants to hate it. Forced camaraderie, cheap decorations, music that grates on his nerves. It’s the kind of chaos he typically avoids.

But then you walk in, and every ounce of self-discipline he’s built over the years shatters into irreparable pieces.

The pencil skirt.

The goddamn Christmas-colored pencil skirt. It’s shorter than usual, clinging to your hips in a way that feels engineered to destroy him. The matching blouse, festive but just tight enough to drive him completely fucking insane.

It’s not fair.

You’re smiling as you step into the breakroom, chatting with a coworker, utterly oblivious to the wreckage you’re leaving in your wake.

Nanami’s pulse spikes. His gaze darts away, but the image of you is already seared into his brain, lingering like a bad habit.

He adjusts his tie, swallowing hard. Don’t be a creep. Don’t be a fucking creep. But then his eyes flick back, just for a second, and—oh no. Oh no, no, no.

His pants feel too tight.

He grits his teeth, clenching his jaw as he fumbles with a stack of papers on his desk. His hands tremble slightly. He’s mortified, but there’s no stopping it. Not when his traitorous brain is already spinning, conjuring images he really shouldn’t be entertaining in the middle of the office.

Images of you. That skirt riding up higher, your thighs bare beneath his hands. The sound of your laughter softening into breathless gasps. The way your lips would feel against his skin—

Nanami bolts.

He mutters something vague about needing a minute to no one in particular and beelines for the bathroom. The fluorescent lights are harsh as he leans against the sink, gripping the porcelain edge like it’s the only thing tethering him to sanity.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he hisses to his reflection. His tie feels like a noose around his neck.

He splashes cold water on his face, but it doesn’t help. Not when every time he blinks, he sees you. The soft curve of your waist, the way your hair catches the light.

Pathetic. He’s fucking pathetic. You’re just trying to celebrate the holidays like everyone else, and here he is, locked in the bathroom, wrestling with his own shameless thoughts.

The worst part—the absolute worst part—is that it’s not just the dirty shit. Oh, no. His brain is crueler than that.

He imagines quiet mornings with you. You in his kitchen, wearing one of his shirts, smiling at him over a mug of coffee. Your hand brushing his as you pass him a plate, the warmth of your touch lingering long after.

It’s insidious. It’s relentless. It’s everything he doesn’t deserve, and yet he wants it so badly he feels like he might choke on it.

Nanami drags a hand down his face, letting out a groan that echoes in the empty bathroom.

She doesn’t even notice you, idiot.

He stays there longer than he should, collecting himself—or trying to. Eventually, he straightens his tie, squares his shoulders, and forces himself to return to his desk.

But when he passes by the breakroom again, you’re laughing, radiant, and he knows this torture is far from over.

*-*

Nanami doesn’t mean to eavesdrop.

Really, he doesn’t.

But it’s impossible not to overhear you when you’re in the breakroom, talking to someone about the bouquet on the receptionist’s desk.

“Oh, these are lovely,” you say, your voice light and cheerful. “But if I had to pick, I’ve always been more into bold flowers. Red dahlias, spider lilies, roses—things like that. Dark, dramatic colors. They’re so beautiful.”

Nanami freezes in the hallway, a stack of files in his hands. His heart does this stupid little stutter, the same one it always does when he hears your voice. But now it’s worse because his mind is spinning with the image of you holding a bouquet like the one you’ve just described.

Red dahlias, spider lilies. The thought of you cradling those flowers, smiling at them, smiling because of him—he has to physically shake his head to clear it.

He’s pathetic.

He knows he’s pathetic. He clenches the files tighter, willing himself to keep walking, but the image won’t leave him.

Over the next few days, he thinks about it more than he wants to admit. He imagines walking into a flower shop, carefully selecting each bloom, making sure they’re perfect. He imagines handing the bouquet to you, watching your face light up—

And then he imagines the aftermath. You smiling politely, awkwardly thanking him, wondering why the hell one of your coworkers is giving you flowers.

No.

He can’t do it. It’s wildly inappropriate. He’s already teetering on the edge of unprofessionalism just by thinking about you like this.

But then, one quiet afternoon in the office, he hears you mention your birthday in passing.

“Oh, it’s in a month or so,” you say, laughing softly. “I don’t usually do much for it, though. Just a quiet day, you know?”

Nanami marks the date down the second he gets back to his desk. He feels like a creep for it, but the thought of letting the day pass without acknowledgment feels unbearable.

He’s spent weeks overthinking this, debating whether or not he should go through with it. But as he stands outside the florist that morning, the door handle cold in his hand, he decides he can’t let it go.

He picks each flower carefully: crimson dahlias with velvety petals, a few spider lilies that curl dramatically, and deep red roses. It’s a small bouquet—not too extravagant, just enough to feel thoughtful.

By the time he gets to the office, his palms are clammy, and he feels like he might actually pass out.

He doesn’t give it to you right away. He waits until the middle of the day, when the office is quieter and most people are out at lunch. He finds you at your desk, bent over some papers, your hair falling slightly into your face.

“Excuse me,” he says, his voice more formal than he intended.

You look up, blinking in surprise, and when your eyes land on the bouquet in his hands, they widen slightly.

“I, uh—” He clears his throat, trying not to fumble. “I overheard that it was your birthday today. Happy birthday.”

You take the bouquet slowly, your expression shifting from surprise to something softer—something warmer.

“Oh my gosh, Nanami, these are gorgeous,” you say, holding the flowers close to your chest. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“It’s nothing,” he replies quickly, shoving his hands into his pockets to hide how much they’re trembling. “Just… thought you’d like them.”

“I love them.” Your smile is radiant, and for the first time, he feels like he might actually be able to breathe again.

“Thank you,” you say, your voice sincere.

He nods, forcing himself to meet your gaze for just a moment.

“You’re welcome,” he murmurs, before quickly retreating to the safety of his desk.

But that's what happens in his mind, in his fantasy... in reality, he simply left those at your desk while you were in a meeting, though he did hear you gasp when you saw them.

As he sits at his desk, his heart pounding, he allows himself a small, private smile. For once, his yearning doesn’t feel quite so pathetic.

*-*

Nanami doesn’t mean to eavesdrop. Again. But it’s impossible not to hear you when your voice floats down the hallway like that, soft and full of joy.

The bouquet sits proudly on your desk, vibrant reds catching the fluorescent light, and you’re standing nearby, talking to another employee.

“I still can’t believe it,” you’re saying, your tone carrying this sweet mix of wonder and delight. “No one’s ever done something like this for me before. It’s just… so thoughtful, you know?”

Nanami, passing by with his usual quiet efficiency, freezes mid-step. His breath hitches in his throat.

“I mean, look at them,” you continue, gesturing to the flowers. “They’re perfect. Whoever picked these out really put a lot of thought into it.” You laugh softly, a sound that makes his chest ache. “I’m not even sure how they knew these are my favorites.”

He stands there, rooted to the spot, his pulse roaring in his ears.

She’s talking about me. She’s talking about me.

He feels ridiculous for the way his stomach twists, for the heat creeping up his neck. A grown man shouldn’t feel this way, shouldn’t feel this weak, over a few kind words. But goddammit, he can’t help it.

The idea that you’re gushing about something he did, that he made you happy, even for a moment—it’s enough to undo him completely.

“Whoever it was,” you add, your voice softening, “it’s just… it really made my day. Probably my whole week, honestly.”

Nanami swallows hard, clutching his briefcase like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. His emotions are a mess—a chaotic tangle of pride, relief, and something deeper, something that makes his throat feel tight.

He knows he should walk away. He shouldn’t linger here, shouldn’t keep listening like some lovesick fool. But he’s stuck, trapped by the sound of your voice and the warmth in your words.

When he finally moves, it’s with a heaviness in his chest that he can’t quite define. He makes his way back to his desk, sitting down and staring blankly at his computer screen.

*-*

Weeks bleed together in the monotony of office life, except for the moments where Nanami lets himself carve out little spaces of joy—tiny gestures that go unnoticed by most but feel monumental to him.

It starts with a single chocolate, placed carefully on the corner of your desk one morning before you arrive. Just a small thing, barely bigger than his thumb, wrapped in shiny foil. He doesn’t linger to see your reaction. He couldn’t stomach it, not when he knows he’d fold in on himself if you so much as tilted your head in confusion.

But the next day, you’re chatting with the receptionist, that same soft laugh spilling from your lips.

“It’s so weird,” you’re saying, holding the empty wrapper in your fingers. “I found this little chocolate on my desk yesterday. I don’t know who left it, but it was sweet. Made my morning, honestly.”

Nanami ducks his head, pretending to be engrossed in the stack of reports he’s holding, but inside, he’s practically vibrating. She noticed. She noticed.

He tells himself to stop, to leave it there, but he doesn’t. He can’t. The yearning is too big, too loud, and it demands an outlet, however small.

After a grueling conference one afternoon, he slips a bottle of chilled water onto your desk when you step away. Nothing extravagant—just a quiet act of care. You’re gone for no more than a minute, but when you return, you blink down at the bottle, tilting your head in that way he finds unfairly adorable.

“Huh,” you murmur, glancing around. “Did someone leave this?”

You shrug, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip, and Nanami has to fight the urge to look away too quickly, lest anyone catch the faint pink blooming across his cheeks.

It’s pathetic.

The way he lives for these small moments, like a man stranded in a desert, savoring droplets of water. Every tiny gesture, every unnoticed offering, feels like a prayer he’s too afraid to voice aloud.

He notices everything about you. How you seem to perk up on Friday afternoons, your shoulders relaxing as you chat about weekend plans. How you wrinkle your nose just slightly when you’re concentrating. How you hum under your breath when you think no one’s listening—a soft, tuneless sound that drives him to distraction.

He doesn’t need grand gestures. He doesn’t want them. He just wants to make your days a little brighter, even if you never know it’s him.

And god, does he yearn.

He daydreams when he shouldn’t, his thoughts slipping away from spreadsheets and into fantasies that make his chest ache. He imagines brushing your hair back from your face, the softness of your skin beneath his fingertips. He imagines quiet evenings, your laughter filling the silence of his apartment. He imagines the weight of your head on his shoulder as you drift off to sleep.

And sometimes—sometimes, when he’s alone, when the ache feels unbearable—he lets himself imagine things he shouldn’t. Things that make his heart race and his breath catch and leave him staring at his own reflection in shame after.

But he never acts on it. Never says a word. Instead, he keeps leaving his little tokens: a coffee cup placed carefully on your desk when he overhears you complain about a late night, a pack of your favorite pens after you mention running out.

You smile every time, and though you never suspect him, that’s enough. It has to be enough.

At least, that’s what he tells himself.

*-*

You’re not an idiot.

No, you may be a little dense sometimes, but you’re not stupid. Someone has been leaving you small, thoughtful little gifts over the past few weeks.

And you have absolutely no idea who it is.

It started innocently enough—chocolate on your desk one morning. You didn’t think much of it at first, but then it kept happening. A bottle of water after a long conference, a cup of coffee after a particularly brutal meeting. At first, you thought maybe it was just a mistake, someone leaving things around and not realizing it was yours. But no, they were always right where you’d find them. Right when you needed them.

It’s sweet. Really sweet. But it's also starting to annoy the ever-living shit out of you because, for the life of you, you can’t figure out who’s doing it.

You’ve spent the past few days trying to narrow it down, your brain doing mental gymnastics over every damn interaction you’ve had at work. And frankly? You’re getting tired of it.

“Alright, let’s break this shit down,” you mutter to yourself as you sip your second cup of coffee of the day, pretending to focus on an email.

Option one: Your boss.

Ha. Right. She’s too busy scheduling her hair appointments to think about leaving chocolates on anyone’s desk. Plus, she’s got the whole “I don’t care if you live or die” attitude, so yeah, not her.

Option two: Kevin from accounting.

Kevin’s an idiot. A well-meaning idiot, but still. He’s the type to forget the coffee in the breakroom and then call it “the best thing ever” for two hours, as though anyone cares about his “discovery.” You’re not buying that.

Option three: That one guy from marketing, Tom.

You nearly burst into laughter just thinking about it. Tom’s an over-caffeinated golden retriever in a human’s body. He’s the type of guy who thinks sending a “Hey, just wanted to check in!” email twice a day is “checking in” on people. He probably couldn’t even remember to get a chocolate from a store, let alone leave it at your desk.

Option four: Nanami.

You pause mid-sip, blinking rapidly. Nanami? The quiet guy from finance? The one who barely says more than a handful of words in a meeting?

Now that’s an intriguing thought. He’s always… there. Always around, like a quiet shadow, observing. Sure, he’s not exactly filling the room with energy, but there’s something there, right? Something beneath that perfectly structured exterior.

You sigh, rubbing your temples. No way. That’s ridiculous.

But then you think about it. Nanami’s the type of guy who doesn’t get distracted by office chaos. He’s methodical. Focused. The guy who lives on routine. He’d be the one to sneakily notice when someone’s overworked and needs a small pick-me-up. He’s just... quiet about it.

But then again, who leaves water bottles, chocolates, and coffee? It’s not like he’s ever said anything about it. Not a single “hey, I thought you might like this,” or anything remotely close to an acknowledgment. Hell, he doesn’t even smile much.

God, he’s so damn mysterious it makes your head spin.

You glance over at his desk. There he is—quiet, as usual. Focused, pretending the world isn’t falling apart around him.

It could be him.

But no. You shake your head, dismissing the thought immediately. He’s not the type. Right?

It’s just… weird. And you’re not even sure why it feels so weird. Maybe it’s just the fact that you’ve got a secret admirer at work, which is fucking hilarious because it sounds like something out of a shitty rom-com you wouldn’t even watch if someone paid you.

"God, I’m going insane," you mutter under your breath, checking your watch. "Seriously. Who the hell is doing this?"

*-*

It took weeks.

Weeks of small gestures.

You’ve figured it out.

It took some careful observation, a bit of deduction, and honestly, a lot of staring at Nanami when he wasn’t looking. But there’s no doubt in your mind now. The quiet, stoic, almost painfully composed man from finance—the one who always has his tie perfectly in place and whose voice could melt butter—he’s your secret admirer.

And oh, it’s delicious.

At first, you weren’t sure. Nanami wasn’t exactly the type to scream “hopeless romantic” or even “mildly interested.” But the more you watched him, the more obvious it became. The way his eyes linger on you just a second too long, the way he tenses when you get too close, the way he seems to disappear right after you find something thoughtful left at your desk.

You caught him once, hovering near the break room as you raved to a coworker about the flowers. He didn’t say a word, but the way he froze mid-step, his jaw tightening ever so slightly? Yeah. That was all the confirmation you needed.

And honestly? You’re thrilled.

Nanami’s hot. Not just conventionally attractive, but smart-hot, the kind of guy who could ruin you with a PowerPoint presentation and a sharp comment about fiscal responsibility. He’s also maddeningly composed, which makes you want to poke at him, see what’s underneath that calm, collected exterior.

So, naturally, you decide to fuck with him.

Just a little.

You can feel the tension building in the air as you move through your day, the little comments, the subtle glances. Nanami’s still trying to play it cool, but it’s clear. He’s a mess. You can see it in the way his eyes dart away when they linger on you a second too long. You can hear it in his voice when he answers you—a little too stiff, a little too forced.

So, you decide to push him.

You start small. Little things. Nothing too obvious, just a few well-placed gestures to see how far you can take him before he finally snaps.

You walk past his desk, and you’re definitely not trying to make sure your skirt hugs your hips just right. You bend over just so to grab a file from your bag, letting him get a full, uninterrupted view of your cleavage.

You’re certain he’s trying not to look—hell, you can practically feel him forcing his eyes up to the ceiling, but you know. You know he’s been watching.

When you straighten up, you glance at him out of the corner of your eye. He’s gripping his pen like it’s a lifeline, his knuckles pale, and his jaw is tight. You smirk, leaning in just a little closer.

“Need something, Nanami?” you ask, the words dripping with an edge of playful mischief.

He swallows, clearly doing everything in his power to maintain his usual stoic expression. “No,” he replies, too quickly, voice clipped. “I’m fine.”

You laugh lightly, keeping the tension alive as you pull away. You can practically feel the heat radiating off him. Oh, this is too good.

You don’t stop there, though. No, you want to see how much he can handle.

The next day, you make sure to wear a skirt that’s just a little tighter, just a little shorter than usual. The fabric clings to you in all the right ways, and when you walk past Nanami’s desk, you make sure to let your hip brush against the edge of his desk, just lightly enough to catch his attention.

As you bend down to grab a report from the printer, you give him the tiniest, most casual look over your shoulder. You’re sure you catch the way his eyes flicker down to your legs before he quickly looks away. Gotcha.

You straighten up, tossing your hair over your shoulder as you walk back past him, barely stopping yourself from humming in satisfaction when you feel his gaze linger on the curve of your back.

It’s all too easy.

And now? Now it’s time to turn it up a notch.

You’ve been toying with him for days now, watching as he stiffens every time you get a little too close, testing how much he can take before his composure cracks. You see the way his breath catches when you “accidentally” brush your arm against his as you pass by. He doesn’t say a word, but you know. You can see it in the way his eyes flash with something darker, something needy, before he shifts uncomfortably in his chair.

You know what you’re doing to him.

And you’re fucking loving it.

*-*

For two weeks, you’ve been shamelessly pushing Nanami to his limits.

You flirt, you linger, you brush your hand against his arm just a little too long, your skirts are shorter, tighter—designed to test the boundaries of his sanity.

And he notices.

Oh, he notices.

But what you don’t see is what’s going on beneath that perfectly calm, stoic exterior.

Because Nanami is losing his fucking mind.

Every look, every casual touch, every time you lean just a little too close—it’s like pouring gasoline on the fire inside him. He’s never been this affected by anyone, and now it feels like he’s constantly teetering on the edge of a cliff.

He tries—he really does—to keep his composure. He’s a professional, damn it. A man of control and discipline. But you? You’re unraveling him piece by piece.

*-*

She knows. Oh, God, she fucking knows. Why is she looking at me like that? Is she doing this on purpose? She’s doing this on purpose. That skirt—did it get shorter? That’s not appropriate for the office, right? Should I say something? No. No, shut up, you idiot. Just focus on your work. She’s walking toward you. Act normal. Act—

“Hey, Nanami, could you help me with something?” you ask, your voice sweet, with just the faintest hint of teasing.

His throat goes dry. He looks up, forcing his expression to remain neutral, professional. “Of course. What do you need?”

You lean closer, your hand brushing his shoulder as you point to your tablet. “I can’t figure out this formula. Can you show me?”

He doesn’t miss the way your perfume lingers in the air, soft and floral, and it’s driving him mad.

“Sure,” he says, his voice even, betraying nothing of the way his heart is hammering in his chest.

But inside? He’s screaming.

*-*

This is a problem. She’s doing it on purpose. She has to be. That look she gave me this morning? That wasn’t casual. No, that was calculated. She’s testing me, trying to see how far I’ll go. Does she know how much I—

He can’t even finish the thought. Because the truth is, his daydreams are becoming increasingly inappropriate, increasingly desperate.

He imagines you sitting on his lap in his office chair, your arms draped around his neck as you laugh at something he said. He imagines kissing you—soft at first, then deeper, more passionate, until he’s completely lost in you. He imagines everything he wants to do to you, and it’s enough to make him clench his fists under his desk, trying to hold himself together.

*-*

One afternoon, you’re standing next to his desk, going on about some report, and he can’t take it anymore. You’re wearing a dress that hugs you in all the right places, and the way you’re looking at him, with that mischievous little glint in your eye—it’s too much.

“Enough,” he says, his voice low, controlled.

You blink, taken aback. “What?”

He stands, towering over you, his jaw tight, his eyes fixed on yours. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” you ask, feigning innocence, though the slight curve of your lips betrays you.

“This,” he says, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. “The teasing. The looks. The... whatever this is. If you’re trying to drive me insane, congratulations. You’ve succeeded.”

You grin, your eyes sparkling. “Oh? And what are you going to do about it?”

He hesitates for a fraction of a second, then takes a step closer, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “I’m going to ask you on a date.”

Your grin widens, and you cross your arms, leaning in just slightly. “Is that so?”

“Yes,” he says firmly, his confidence unwavering now. “Saturday. Seven o’clock. I’ll pick you up.”

You laugh, the sound light and genuine, and he feels his chest tighten all over again.

“Okay, Nanami. You’ve got yourself a date.”

*-*

The date is perfect.

Nanami shows up at your door precisely at seven, looking sharp in a navy suit and holding a small bouquet of red dahlias—your favorite. Dinner is a mix of light conversation and laughter, the two of you falling into an easy rhythm that feels like you’ve known each other forever.

When he walks you back to your apartment, the air between you is warm, charged with something unspoken.

“Want to come up?” you ask, your voice soft, your eyes searching his.

He hesitates for half a second before nodding. “Yes.”

*-*

Your apartment is cozy, filled with little touches that are unmistakably you. Nanami takes it all in—your bookshelves, your mismatched throw pillows, the faint scent of vanilla in the air.

But then you’re there, standing close to him, your eyes meeting his, and everything else fades away.

The first kiss is tentative, a soft meeting of lips that quickly deepens as he pulls you closer, his hands resting on your waist. You sigh against him, your fingers threading through his hair, and he groans softly, losing himself in the warmth of you.

“Nanami,” you murmur, pulling back just enough to catch your breath.

“I hate you,” he says, his voice low, a teasing smile playing at his lips.

You laugh, your forehead resting against his. “Do you?”

“Yes,” he whispers, pressing another kiss to your lips. “I hate the way you consume my thoughts. I hate the way you make me feel so... so...”

“Alive?” you offer, grinning.

“Exactly,” he murmurs, kissing you again, slower this time, like he’s savoring the moment.

Before things can go further, your cat jumps onto the couch, meowing loudly, and you both break apart, laughing.

“Excuse me,” Nanami says, his voice soft but firm as he picks up the cat and carries it to another room. “We need privacy.”

When he returns, you’re still laughing, but he silences you with another kiss, his hands cradling your face.

Between kisses, he whispers things that make your heart ache in the best way.

“You drive me crazy... but I don’t want it to stop. You’re everything I didn’t know I needed.”

By the time the night ends, you’re both a mess of tangled limbs and whispered confessions, and for the first time in weeks, Nanami feels like he’s exactly where he’s meant to be.

A/N: sorryyy, this might be ooc for him? im unsure...

Masterlist.

:)

[reignpage]

Light Show

Summary: in which alien!reader and Gojo are getting to know each other Word Count: 2.5k Warnings: talks of nudity, fluff, a little sexual tension, not proofread

Day 3

“No.” Satoru tuts. “That’s not for eating.”

Hands on his hips, he sighs. 

You’re currently gnawing on a wooden spoon you found in his kitchen drawer, fully clothed in a baggy shirt and sweatpants (his, of course). Before, you were gnawing on one of his shoes, then it was the tv remote, and then it was his phone. Apparently, your kind explores with their mouth. He’s just glad you don’t have more than one of those; he’ll have teeth marks on everything at this rate. 

Tilting your head, you drop the spoon, and it falls on the counter with a clank. You mull your thoughts a little longer before you ask, “No?”

“That’s right,” he confirms with a nod.

“No eating?”

Your Japanese is coming along great, within three days you two have learnt how to communicate, albeit not by much. You’re not going to be discussing current events or the secrets of the universe any time soon, but at least you can understand him when he says ‘no biting’ when you come across something new.

For the most part though, you’re pretty normal. Satoru was surprised you can eat human food like bread and eggs, but pleasantly so — the alternative could have very well been human flesh. You seem to have a circadian rhythm (and yes, he did have to google what that is) because you sleep and wake up the same time he does. 

Over breakfast, he teaches you new words like ‘hungry’ and ‘sleepy’ so you can communicate your needs, and at night he explains movie plots to you. In your first night, he made sure you knew how to dress yourself, though you do still go to him to tie up his way too large sweats on your hips – he needs to buy you your own clothes but oddly enough, he feels no rush. It was kind of funny how you hissed at all sorts of things like the toaster, the kettle, his phone and the sound of footsteps outside his door. But he knew that to reduce the risk of you smashing his beloved coffeemaker on is shiny floor he'd have to teach you what was safe and what it isn’t. 

And it wasn’t easy. 

At times, it felt like teaching his students to keep their lives was so much easier. But you’re so earnest and eager to learn, he couldn’t even get frustrated when you took apart his speaker and tried to swallow a spring. 

The thing he’d been putting off teaching you, however, was how to shower. At first, he debated whether to even broach the topic; it’s inappropriate for him to be the one to teach you. But he also doesn’t have many girl friends who’d entertain the idea of harbouring a literal alien.

He was also aware of the possibility that aliens don’t bathe the way humans do. Maybe you simply need to, perhaps, press a hidden button on your body and BAM! Brand, spanking new.

Testing that theory out, you followed him into the bathroom and watched as he turned the shower on, fully intending to lecture you on the history of bathing. But, pleasantly and shockingly, you’re already stripped and stepping in, water beading down your supple body, dipping between the valleys of your breast and flowing down where he really shouldn’t be looking. 

Satoru cleared his throat and left you to do what you needed to do. He totally did not have to adjust as he stood outside, worried you might slip or turn the wrong knob and burn your perfect skin.

Much to his chagrin however, since then, he’s been struggling with teaching you not to drop your clothes at the sight of running water. When he turns the tap on to wash the dishes, he doesn’t need to look at you to know you’re already untying the knot of his sweatpants. He can’t even close his eyes and avoid the sight of your body. 

Curse his Six Eyes!

He’s working on teaching you a sense of decency and shame when it comes to nudity, but it feels wrong to do so when there’s not really anything wrong with being naked in front of him, right?

Your new friend would never take advantage of you, and he’d certainly never let anyone else in here before you’ve learnt enough things to stay safe and become independent, and that’ll be far, far in the future. So, for now, he’ll just settle for shaking his head and giving you a disappointed look and hope that’s get the message across eventually.

Apart from that, you guys have been getting along very well. You watch movies together and point and laugh at the things you like and then tuck your face in his chest at the things you don’t. When he orders food in, you follow behind, brows furrowed as you eye the delivery man like he’s a threat. 

Satoru knows he should tell you off for being aggressive with strangers, but with the policemen and hazmat suit guys still surveying the area, he’s just happy you have any survival instincts at all. Especially because you haven’t manifested any superpowers like in the movies. 

It would have been so cool if you could, like, move things with your mind or had super strength. So far, however, you’ve just been a normal, slightly disoriented, possibly amnesiac woman. 

A beautiful, amnesiac woman but that’s neither here nor there. 

Peeking through the curtains, he eyes all the people crowding in the parking lot where the crater you created is taped off. They’ve got vans full of doohickeys and weird gadgets, testing this and that, and though he was able to take you from there to his place too fast for the CCTV to pick up, he knows it’s not going to take long before they link it back to him. 

So, reluctantly, he calls Ijichi and informs him that he needs to pull his strings and get all the government interference waved away. Thankfully, experienced and efficient as he is, he asks minimal questions and Satoru’s able to get away with simply humming what sounds like an agreement when he asks if it was a curse. 

“Toru?” You pull at his sleeve, confusion marring your face. “Leaving again?”

That’s the thing about being Gojo Satoru: he’s always needed. Once or twice a day, he’s called away on a mission and expected to work his magic with a cursed technique here and a cursed technique there, blah blah blah. The last two days however, he’s taken a faster approach to those tedious things — with a simple wave of his fingers, the curses are evaporating, and the world is safe once more. No more of his silly joshing around, not when he has someone waiting for him at home. 

Regardless of how fast he’s able to exorcise the curses though, he still has to leave you. And the sad look on your face makes him wish he didn’t have to. Every time, he only ever has one thought in his head: is twenty-eight too young an age to retire?

“Yeah, sorry, E.”

“Stay?”

Satoru shakes his head and sighs out, “Can’t. But I’ll be back in an hour, okay? Then we can watch a movie.”

You smile at that. Nodding your head, you let go of his sleeve and jump onto the sofa with a bounce. In your tight grip is the remote, you’re cradling it like it’s the most precious thing in the world, head tilting and eyes blinking at your new friend. 

“Cute,” he mutters under his breath. Patting your head, he shakes up the hair there and reminds you, “Don’t open the door for anyone.”

Satisfied with your blink, he teleports away, leaving your smile dropping and legs folding, tucked to your chest whilst you hug them. Rhythmic vibrations thrum in your chest, whirring as you wait. 

He always comes back.

————

It’s nightfall when he returns, manifesting in the living room, in the exact same spot he disappeared from. The apartment is flooded in darkness, light dust settling in the air, but he finds your sleeping form with ease. 

You’re all curled up, the remote squeezed in your death grip, and your head lolled between your knees. His shirt is slipping down a shoulder, and his hand is reaching to fix it before he could realise the silliness of his actions — the last thing any lost, sleeping woman needs is a man touching them in the blanket of the night. 

He may be an idiot, but he’s not stupid. 

Satoru’s been sleeping on the couch whilst you’ve taken shelter in his bed, which is not ideal since his ridiculously long body far exceeds the length of his own furniture, and he makes a mental note to buy a longer one. That being said, he doesn’t grumble when he grabs a blanket and fluffs up a pillow, bidding you a goodnight. 

This is the first time, therefore, he’s ever seen you sleep, and it is the most curious thing. He has discovered one other thing that sets you apart from his human peers, even amidst the smooth skin, the eyes, nose, lips, mouth etc etc: your skin lights up when you’re sleeping. 

There are waves of blue light pulsing beneath the surface, flowing up your arms and disappearing under his shirt. And he’s so painfully curious to know if the rest of your body glows like that, if he’ll see that insanely fascinating blue light rising up your legs, if he can trace their paths and find their origin. It’s not the brightest light, in fact it’s barely perceptible, but Gojo Satoru has impeccable eyesight and it’s as clear as day. 

“I’ve found myself my very own night light,” he muses, thoroughly entertained. 

Taking slow and careful steps, he stands before you. He’s debating whether he should just leave you there, all comfortable and emitting light, or if he should wake you up. Maybe you’ll get a crick in your neck from the way your head is bent down. Maybe that’s not even possible for you. 

Maybe the right thing to do would be to carry you to bed, but it’s still early in the evening and you were both looking forward to watching a movie together. He didn’t work hard for hours dealing with ugly little things to not be rewarded. With an impatient huff, Satoru pats your head, gently jostling you awake.

“Hey, E,” he whispers. “Wakey wakey.”

You’re groggy and all confused when you lift your head up. Satoru’s lip twitches in amusement at the faint hum of light on your face, fading as you step back into consciousness. 

Despite the heaviness of lethargy weighing you down, you still manage to smile and gaze up at him in the dark. Huskily, you ask, “Toru back?”

“Toru home, E. Can you say that for me? Home? Home.”

Tasting the sound in your mouth, you mimic the opening and closing of his. “Huh um.”

He shakes his head, fingers pinching your chin with a thumb pulling at your bottom lip. Guiding your movements, he sounds it out with you. “No. Try again. Home. Hohmuh.”

You clutch his wrist with both hands, pinkie slipping under the sleeve, and he has to fight to keep his focus on your lips, soft and plump. He hadn’t even realised that he had bent down or that his face is far closer to you than it should be, but he doesn’t move. 

“Toru. Home,” you parrot back to him. 

Satoru grins. “Well done, E! Yes, Toru home! I’m home.”

“Toru home!” You grin back. And with agile strength, you’re wrestling him onto the couch with you, his gangly limbs flailing in the air as he falls with a laugh, harmonising with your excited giggles.

His head lands on your lap and his legs dangle over the armrest. Within seconds, you’re expertly switching the TV on and picking a movie that must have caught your eye before. It’s one he’s watched already, and he can’t decide if he likes it enough to rewatch it, but he knows better than to argue with you about movie choices since, on the first night he showed you E.T and likened you to the wrinkly creature, you tried to bite his arm off. 

Thank goodness, once more, for his infinity. 

“Alright, alright. No need to be all violent,” he playfully complains, “it hurts my ego when you easily throw me around like a rag doll.”

As the movie drones on, Satoru remains lying there, eyes spending more time scanning your face than the screen. In these three days, he’s developed a routine that feels so imbedded in his bones he can’t remember how he spent his days before.

His once quiet house has turned into a messy, chaotic home where most of his belongings have teeth marks, and his clothes are scattered all over the floor. It used to feel so big, so empty no matter how many fancy, shiny things he’s filled it up with but now he thinks, maybe his place is too small for the both of you, maybe it’s time he considered a proper house. 

One with a garden so you can run around, and you can have fresh air instead of being all cooped up here, hidden away. 

He wonders where you used to live before, whether it’s very similar to his humble Earthly abode or if it’s completely different and magnificent and captivating the way he imagines your world must be to produce you. 

He wishes he could ask and receive an answer. By all that is heavenly, he wishes he could see into that head and know all your thoughts, to be inside and feel you, unrestricted by a language barrier, undivided by what feels like a whole galaxy between you. In the depths of the night, he stares up at the ceiling, overwhelmed with a sense of injustice at the realisation that he’ll never know all of you, not your past, your current thoughts, or your future. 

“Toru okay?”

Satoru snaps back to reality. “Hmm?”

It’s only when you clutch his wrist again, he realises he’s brushing his knuckles against your jaw, skimming and tracing absentmindedly. You don’t stop him, you just hold him there like you’re also seeking his touch, adorable fingers tapping. 

How much of this is real?

How much of this dynamic, this relationship, is based on concrete things like trust and understanding and friendship, rather than mere reliance?

“Toru hurt?”

Sighing, he shakes his head and drags your hand down onto his chest, keeping it there whilst he turns to watch the movie. None of it matters. Because regardless of anything and everything that kept you apart to begin with, you’re here now, and he’s holding you and you can talk and laugh, and he’s happy. 

What else is there?

[daemonbrain]

1.8k, cw: ghosts a pervert, smut, readers husband is piece of work, not proofread.

Simon Riley who first saw you at the butcher's shop on the phone. 

You were a pretty thing. Wearing a pink little yoga set, one arm holding your mat and the other holding your phone to your ear as you wait for the butcher to bring out your cut of meat.

Which was taking a long time

Simon would’ve had it chopped and packed to go by now. Though, he can’t complain with the view he has of your ass- you. The man was touch starved. He hadn’t been back home in a while, back-to-back deployments keeping him occupied. His only company being his calloused and scraped hands roughly jerking himself until he came, bordering on unpleasurable. Not what some could consider enjoyable, but try being in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere for weeks on end and see if you care so much about gentle.

The borderline perverted look you were blissfully unaware of was tracking down your form. He stared at the way the material tightly clung on to every bit of you in a welcoming way, a second skin. The sweat on you from your little session.

Just how flexible does yoga make a bird like you?

It was only when he heard a grating sound come from your phone that he snapped out of his trance. Even with his bad ears from all the bullets whizzing past him, bombs going off within meters of him, and the usual shit show he did for a living he could hear the voice which bled through your phone's speaker.

"Get me a steak this time. Nonna that nasty shit from last time!"

You hurriedly turned your volume down as it blasted in your ear, startled by the voice. Chewing on your lip you pivoted towards the counter to see if your order had been brought out; the motion to no avail as the employee continued chopping away in the back room.

It was only when your other hand came into full view from the motion he noticed the absolute rock on your finger.

"Honey, I thought the salmon was pretty good." That prick clearly firing something back as you winced away from your phone once again. Gritting your teeth as if biting back your arguments, looking around to occupy your time as the man on the phone continues to speak. "I know... I'm sorry. Don't worry, it'll be ready by 7." You placatingly cooed.

"Listen, I have to go. I love y-" You began, but the moment the words tumbled from your lips you pulled the phone fully from your cheek to see a blank screen with the time staring back on you. The asshole hung up!

What a fuckin tosser.

Simon hears the butcher finally call your name with familiarity and with a sigh you step towards the counter. 

He leaned on to the wall further as he had been the entire time. Silent. Unsettling. A stark contrast to your bright appearance in the shop, the larger man brooded in his corner waiting his turn.

“See ya’ next Friday!” You still managed a bright smile at the butcher who handed you your meat.

A mild thing like you really shouldn’t be talked to so thoughtlessly, some guys are fuckwits though. He never liked the type. Why lock a bird down with a ring if you were gonna be mean to her?

“S’cuse me sir, i’m just gonna push past you here” You asked. With widened eyes, Simon gruffly mumbled a “Yeah,” out before creating a stupidly small space.

Maybe he really did want you to push past him. Or just push up on him but oh well.

Sweeping past him, you give him a toothy smile as you had so sweetly done to the butcher, as if you hadn’t got yelled at less than five minutes ago. God you really have no common sense, beaming up at the lurker in the corner at least twice your size. A girl as pretty as you should really stick to herself.

From that interaction on, Simon found himself being guided by the memory of you back to the butcher shop the next Friday.

And the next…

And the next.

Every week progressively standing closer and closer to you as you picked up your usual order. One day you had taken the liberty of starting small talk with him after recognizing his unmistakable stature. After all, there were only so many people you had seen in this shop and none so… large.

You could not deny you found this mystery man disquieting. Always dressed in dark colours, not so much as a word coming from him. Like clockwork you would come in after hot yoga, greet the butcher, he would come in, silence would ensue as you both waited for your meat, and you would leave with a quick smile.

It was rude. He had never even said a simple hello to you! Though, you suppose that it could be due to your own curt exits. The thought of the unkindness you might’ve exhibited subconsciously sent your mind into a spiral, leading to your abrupt introduction.

After all, who were you to judge! Kindness is and should always be the response in your books.

At this kindness, Simon swore he had to take a breath in as you politely outstretched your hand and spoke your name casually. Tilting his head down to your face he raises a brow skeptically, and then firmly shakes your head.

He failed to hide the shudder which wracked his body. The way your hand effortlessly slipped into his. Soft and manicured engulfed in his.

“Simon.”

“Well it’s good to meet you Simon” With the twinkly little smile you would grace him as you hauled it out of the shop. He felt the shiver go down his spine a second time when you spoke his name for the first time.

And then- it happened.

You giggled. A soft thing, no doubt intended to be small. It wasn’t to Simon though. It reverberated throughout the room, rang so prettily in his ears. Fuck. He would remember that sound later on tonight.

“Are you cold? You keep shivering. It’s pretty harsh out there right now.”

“Nah. Not really.” His accent thick as he shrugged.

Letting out a little “mhm” you nod and look back to the counter.

“I was freezing outside! Usually I walk home-” Simon already knew that “-but today I called my husband to come grab me! Way too cold!”

That visibly made him stiffen. Of course. Perfectly normal that guy is coming to get you, he’d be an idiot to leave you walking home alone in the cold.

If you were his girl, Simon wouldn’t have let you out of his sight. Fuck sakes you practically had “come mess with me” written all over you. There were creeps all over the place nowadays, (thought the creep).

He would’ve carried everything for you, scarfed down whatever the hell you had taken the time to prepare him. That husband of yours doesn’t like your salmon? Simon would. Hell if he didn’t, he’d cram it down his throat with gratitude anyways. He doubted anything could be worse than some of the rations he’s eaten on duty. 

That train of thought is pretty redundant when he takes note of how you wouldn’t be able to leave the bed to make anything.

Maybe you’d cram something of his down your throat in gratitude.

Shaking his head subtly, he hears the bells of the store door opening. He watched your face fall as you step away from him and it’s when he sees your husband's look of complete irritation he understands why.

You had grabbed your order swiftly and with a quick wave goodbye you were on your way back to your husband. Simon could only register your husband's whisper-yell as he disapprovingly glared his way. “The fuck are you doin talking to him?”. And with that you were hurriedly ushered out.

You deigned it necessary to continue greeting Simon, have little chats about the weather, any plans he had for the weekend. Tossing in your stupid jokes that he would laugh at. You interpreted it as something closer to a breathy snort-hopefully positive- and it went on as such for weeks

And every time he returned home Friday night, he came home with only one thought after. You.

As he laid in bed the same thought persisted as he slipped his cock out of his boxers, red and weeping for some sort of stimulation. He took to his usual harsh pace. You’d be so much softer.

You’d be so nice to him wouldn’t you? Coo some compliment as he lets you tug at him. Fuck he wouldn’t know what to take first.

Would you give him a blowie or a hand job? 

No. You wouldn’t be on your knees- not yet. If you’d let him have you, you’d be on your back in an instant. He’d rip the stitches of those leggings right down the middle, your panties next.

“Fuuuuuck” he moaned into the quiet of his room. He’d stick it in slow, he’d try. It would be torture not to ram himself right up to the hilt, but he’d do it for such a good girl.

That’s what you were, weren’t you? Always a nice word for someone? What would you say to him when he began to rut into you like a madman. When you would feel the pummeling intrusion, his head knocking into the deepest parts of you.

He’d be able bend you into so many different positions that you’d better hope that yoga has taught you well. Split your legs open to accommodate his imposing body size as he’d take purchase between them. Then you better hope your cunny can accommodate his other size when he spears you open on his cock.

Would you take it smiling? Would your tears roll down your cheeks, the prodding bordering too much? You’d take it either way, he knew you could. He’d rub at your clit with such tenderness he never afforded himself (as gentle as he could anyway). He’d make sure you begged to stay on his cock forever, fuck himself so deep you would be too stupid to pull away unknowing of where he ended and you started. Not that you’d have to care.

He’d flip you on to all fours and rip away your clothes entirely, pounding you from the back and instead of just his own labored breaths, the sound of skin slapping together would ring out.

In silent stoicism, he feels his balls tighten up at the thought of your perfect face stuffed into the pillows screaming your thank you’s. You probably were just as nice with someone stuffing themselves into your pussy.

At both his ruthless ministrations and boundless imagination, his release spurted all over his hand with a breathy sigh. When you were here he’d make sure to slam his hips to yours and keep them flush against you, coat your insides in hot cum better than your limp-dick husband ever could. That man wouldn’t be able to fuck you the way Simon knew he could. You deserve someone who could make you go stupid on his dick, not cry of frustration like you probably did everytime that knob who thinks himself a man rolled over after finishing himself off.

Not that you’ll have to worry about that soon

…

He wouldn’t be around for much longer anyways.

[milktrician]

Hello hello! :D

SQH-SY siblings au for the ask game, please?

I'm pretty sure I wrote this after someone wrote a text post about the idea but idk if I would be able to track that down, or if it existed at all and I'm misremembering. Anyway, I didn't really have a set plot in mind after I wrote this short snippet other than it would be very funny for Shen Yuan to try and actively sabotague Shang Qinghua's efforts to become head disciple of An Ding while looking as innocent as possible. I don't think I'm going to write anymore for this idea as I have other wips I want to focus on but feel free anyone to write out their own interpretation! Anyways, here's what I wrote a few weeks back:

[ Activation code: “Dumbfuck author, dumbfuck novel.” System automatically triggered ]

What? What the fuck is this?

[ Host is in the midst of transmigration! ]

No—what? This is a dream, Airplane’s stupid fucking writing must have made me pass out!

Rrgh! I need to punch the fucker IRL!

[ Host would like to see Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky? ]

YES!

[ Beginning transmigration… ]

What?

“Oh! It’s a boy!”

“W-Wait what? Doctor, didn’t you say it was going to be a girl?”

What the hell?

He feels himself get wrapped within a cloth, and suddenly he's enveloped in warmth. He’s being…held?

Any attempt to move his limbs is caught by the cloth wrapped around him. His tongue presses against toothless gums, and his vision is too blurry to make out anything.

No…

“Haha, well surprises always happen! Did you have a name in mind if you two had another son?”

“Ah, well I suppose we never gave any thought to it. A-Yu, you’re always good at coming up with names with your little stories, how about you name your little brother?”

No…

“You…ah, shouldn’t it be up to you two? Like erm. Tradition or something? Like this is a whole baby I sh-shouldn’t be responsible for the name he’ll be called for the rest of his life!”

A woman then laughs above him, 

“A-Yu, I think I’m much too tired to think right now. You’re a smart boy, any name you come up with I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

He…died. 

Transmigration’s real!?

AND HE’S A BABY!

Oh—whoever this person is, please don’t name him something stupid.

[ Don’t worry Host! This System has you covered! ]

“…Yuan?” Whoever “A-Yu” is, he said that like he wasn’t even sure of it himself! Thank god he still has his old name in this life at least.

“Shang Yuan…I like that.”

System…where have I transmigrated?

[ This System operates in line with the design concept “YOU CAN YOU UP, NO CAN NO BB”; we hope to provide you with the best possible experience. It is our sincere wish that during your time, you can fulfill your desires and, in accordance to your wish, ‘see Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky’ ]

[ Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times! ]

What now?!

[ User has completed his wish! ]

I…did?

[ Entering Limited Sandbox Mode! Feel free to explore within the constraints of the plot! ]

[ We hope you enjoy the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way! ]

WHAT?

“Ah! He’s crying, give him here.”

“Ahh. You’re so cute lil bro! Cutest baby in the whole wide world!”

A-Yu, or Shang Hongyu, is his new older brother in this life and is maybe eight or nine years older than him. He’s apparently very smart for his age, and their parents are already tutoring him to take over their father’s business.

He hears his older brother sniffle,

“Too bad you’ll probably never see me again in a few years.” he says, “I’ve gotta head to Cang Qiong and make my way up An Ding in the next few years.”

Hold on a second.

His older brother holds him tight against his chest, and from here he can feel his breath shudder.

“I’ve never had a sibling by blood before.”

He’s brought to his sibling’s bed and his brother lays next to him lazily.

“Just a few more years and you guys won’t have to see me again.” his brother says to noone, “They’re…surprisingly good parents, didi. Once they don’t have me to worry about, they can spoil you as much as you want.”

Geez, what kind of weird complex do you have?

Though. Shang surely is a common surname right? Lots of Shangs to go to An Ding!

System where in the timeline are we?

[ System is currently in maintenance for future updates! ]

Fine. He’ll figure it out his own way!

His own chubby fingers are able to grab onto his brother’s robe.

“Gege.” He says, to the best of his ability with his shitty little baby mouth.

He doesn’t expect his brother to burst out crying and start to hug him tight.

[blessedbyahuntress]

Warrior of the Sun and Moon

Chapter One: The Blessing of the Sun

Prev/Next

A/N: HEHEHEHEHE (Ya that's all I got [I'm high on caffeine, if you can't tell])

Warnings: Handsome immortal alert! Handsome immortal alert!

Word count: 850

When you were nine, you snuck out of your room for the first time. You’d been ordered to stay in the chamber under the watchful eye of your servant, but you felt jittery and restless.

You needed to get out of the palace, abandon these stone walls for a little while.

The afternoon sun shone through the beautiful stained glass windows as you kept your head down, back pressed against the wall. If what Telemachus had accidentally told you was true… 

There it was. Your hand wrapped around a lever, the metal cold on the palm of your hand. You pulled, a harsh jerk of the wrist. There was a loud scraping sound of stone grinding against stone, and you cursed. Your servant would find you soon if you weren’t fast enough.

You turned, slipping into the secret passage that had opened next to you. 

The darkness that engulfed you made you nervously drum your fingers on your leg, nails skimming over the hunting knife that was hidden in the folds of your dress- the dagger you’d stolen from your older brother the time Telemachus had allowed you into his room.

You swatted away a cobweb that was trying to get entangled in your hair. Your steps became faster, more determined to get out of this awful space.

A breath of fresh air hit you in the face, the wind running its chilly fingers through your locks, tugging at your hair playfully. 

You took another step forward, and suddenly you were falling, sun blinding your eyes as they stretched wide in panic. You landed on your back, all of the breath knocked out of you.

“Holy-”

Someone above you tsks. “Is it really appropriate for such a young lady like you to be cursing?”

You jolt up, banging your head against someone else’s forehead. You lay back down with a groan. “Who the hell are you?”

“You shouldn’t answer a question with a question, princess.”

You cross your arms over your chest, head still pounding. “Mine seems more important,” you argue. “Who are you?”

You feel a hand rest gently on your forehead, and the ache begins to dissipate. 

The person chuckles lightly. “Well,” he said- you figured it was male, though he spoke in more of a sing-song. “Maybe you should open your eyes before asking such things.”

You frown, earning another laugh from the unknown person. Slowly you blink, your eyes adjusting to the light. Standing above you was the tallest man you’d ever seen. He was bathed  with a golden glow, bright blue eyes gazing into your own. A laurel wreath shone atop his head, perfectly tan arms crossed over his muscular chest.

Somehow you knew this was a god, though it wasn’t his appearance that gave him away- rather, it was his presence. 

“Apollo?” You whispered softly, as if you believed if you stirred the air too much, it would scare the god of the sun away. 

The addressed deity threw his head back, a booming laugh escaping his lips. “Yes, that is I, little mortal.” 

You stood, dusting off your dress. As quickly as you rose, you dropped into a grand curtsy. “Lord Apollo, to what do I owe the honour?” 

“You are smarter than you look.” You weren’t sure whether to be proud or offended by his words as he circled you, studying you as a king observes his prize bull. “Tell me, little mortal, how did you know that I am Apollo?”

You tilt your head. “You feel like the sun,” you stated bluntly.

That got him to chuckle again. He paused his pacing to look you in the eye. “I suppose. But I have come to answer your prayer.”

You blinked. “What prayer?”

Apollo furrowed his perfect brow. “What do you mean, ‘what prayer’?” He questioned. “Y’know? That prayer that you sent me when you were two, wishing you could be like your father, the mighty Odysseus?”

“Did I?” You try to remember what he was referring to, but you come up empty. “Sorry, but I don’t think I even knew you existed at such a young age.”

“Ah.” Apollo waves this off. “It doesn’t matter whether you remember it or not, for I am here to make your dreams come true.”

“Uhm,” you said. “No offense, Lord Apollo, but how…” You trailed off as the god held up a golden bow, fitted perfectly for the palms of your hands to grip. 

You reached out to touch it, mesmerized by the curve of the limbs and the string that seemed to change colors in the sunlight. Apollo held it closer, as if urging you to take it. You didn’t need any further encouragement, small fingers wrapping around the weapon. 

As you grasped the bow, a shimmering belt appeared on your waist, a quiver full of arrows attached. You gasped, running your fingers up and down your new accessory. 

When you looked up, mouth opening to speak, you met Apollo’s shining blue eyes. “Thank you,” you murmured, tone filled with emotion and gratitude. 

“Anytime, Y/N,” the immortal said, shooting you a wink as he faded away. 

“Anytime.”

Taglist: @barrythestrawberry041 @shapter-draws @sunshinewhosketches @myriad-of-passionate-pettiness @shroombloom248 @my-gods-i-read-too-many-books @keikeiluvyou @tati-the-fangirl @bookmuncherss @sabrina-senpai @artemis-andrea @sunshinedaisy21

[diaryofawhoretbh]

mrs. marine's trouble. | kang dae-ho (player 388)

REQUESTED by: @ang3licbabydolly = "plssss dae-ho x f!reader smut !! 😇"

wc: 2.6k

warnings: SMUTTTT.

i really don't know what to say. this is the first ever smut i've written, i hope i did it justice. longer than what i expected it to be.

NOT proof-read!!!

the distant hum of strained whispers and restless shuffling filled the dorm, a constant reminder of the stakes you were all under. amid the sea of desperation, your eyes found kang dae-ho—player 388.

he sat with his back against a bunk post, his broad shoulders relaxed yet alert, like he was still on duty. his jawline was sharp, his expression unreadable, and his body language exuded confidence—until your gaze lingered too long.

he noticed. his composure faltered for the briefest moment, his dark eyes flicking to yours before darting away, a faint flush creeping up his neck.

you stood, curiosity and something deeper urging you toward him. “dae-ho,” you said as you stopped in front of him.

he glanced up, his lips quirking into a polite smile. “you shouldn’t sneak up on a marine,” he teased, his voice low and smooth.

“wasn’t sneaking,” you replied, matching his tone as you crouched to his level. “you just weren’t paying attention.”

his chuckle was soft, a little strained. “maybe you’re too distracting,” he said, surprising both himself and you.

you raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at your lips. “is that so?”

he cleared his throat, visibly pulling himself back into his composed shell. “what do you need?”

“maybe i just wanted to sit here with you,” you said, tilting your head. “you mind?”

his hesitation was subtle but there. “suit yourself,” he murmured, scooting slightly to give you space beside him.

you settled in, the heat of his body radiating close. “you always so serious?” you teased gently, glancing at his sharp profile.

“it’s the marine in me,” he said with a faint smile. “serious is second nature.”

“and the blushing?” you asked, leaning in just a little.

his eyes snapped to yours, his cheeks darkening. “i don’t blush,” he said, a bit too quickly.

you grinned. “sure, you don’t.”

he huffed a soft laugh, shaking his head, and you could see his armor slipping. this wasn’t the marine talking now—this was just dae-ho, a man trying to keep himself together in impossible circumstances.

“you’re trouble, you know that?” he said, glancing sideways at you.

“i’ve been told,” you said, letting your shoulder bump his lightly.

he stiffened at the contact but didn’t pull away. emboldened, you let your hand rest on his thigh, a casual yet deliberate move.

his breath hitched. “you’re—”

“trouble,” you finished for him, leaning in just enough that your lips brushed his ear as you spoke.

his jaw tightened, and his hand reflexively covered yours, trapping it against his thigh. his grip was firm, warm, and the callouses on his palm sent a shiver through you.

“you think this is a good idea?” he asked, his voice lower now, tinged with a nervous edge.

“i think,” you said, turning your face so your lips hovered near his, “that you want this as much as i do.”

his dark eyes locked with yours, searching your face as though testing your resolve. his confidence as a marine battled with his shyness in this unfamiliar kind of vulnerability.

then, he closed the distance.

the kiss was slow at first, tentative, his lips warm and firm against yours. but when you sighed into it, his hesitation melted. his free hand slid to your waist, pulling you closer with a controlled strength that made your pulse race.

“you’re gonna get me in trouble,” he murmured against your lips, though his grip on you only tightened.

“you’re already in trouble,” you whispered back, threading your fingers through his short, dark hair.

he chuckled, a soft, breathy sound that sent warmth pooling in your pussy. his shyness lingered in the way he paused between kisses, as though still wrapping his head around the situation, but his touches were confident, deliberate.

his hand starts trailing from your waist to my ass, squeezing it as you let out a soft moan. as much as you are enjoying this, you needed more privacy. your voyuerism kink was begging you to let him fuck you right there and then, but something held you back.

"w-we should go to the bathroom." you whisper to him. without another word, he gets up, dragging you by the hand to the door where a guard stood.

"we need to use the bathroom." dae-ho told the guard.

"it's late, get back to your bunks. use it in the morning." the guard informed us.

"i swear to God, if you don't let us use the bathrooms right now! i'm a woman for fucks sake, how fucking dare you! my rights as a woman are being absolutely ignored, it's a medical emergen-"

the guard hastily opened the door towards the bathroom, not saying another word. "...thank you... yea thank you, as you should, gosh!" you finished, as you quickly got in front of dae-ho and dragged him into the women's bathroom.

as soon as we got inside, you turned around and smashed your lips onto him. he quickly pushed you into an empty stall and closed the door behind you. he pinned you against the wall and began to kiss you back just as eagerly as you were. his hands started to roam over your body as his kisses started to move to your neck.

as he kissed your neck, he started to bite and nibble at your skin, as hands wandered all over your body, wanting to touch every part of you. he grabbed your ass and gave it a hard squeeze as he pressed himself up against you. you could feel him pressing against you and you let out a whine, while you could hear him let out a stifled moan into your neck. his hands moved to your waist, wanting to tug at your shirt and slide his hands under to touch your skin and those tits that he has been day-dreaming about.

his hands roamed everywhere, from your back to your ass, to your stomach, caressing every inch of you. he started to tug at the bottom of your shirt, wanting it off. you helped him, slipping off your unzipped jacket and shirt, and tossing it aside. he started to kiss his way down your body, kissing and biting your skin as he went.

as dae-ho's lips trailed down your body, his calloused hands explored every curve with a mic of reverence and hunger. he paused at your bra, fingers hesitating at the clasp. "may i?" he whispered, his voice husky with desire.

you nodded, breath catching as he deftly unhooked your bra, letting it fall to the ground. his eyes darkened as he took in the sight of your bare breasts, nipples hardening under his intense gaze. "fuck," he breathed, "you're so gorgeous."

without warning, he dipped his head, taking one nipple into his mouth. his tongue swirled around the sensitive bud, teeth grazing lightly as his hand kneaded your other breast. you arched into him, a soft moan escaping your lips.

his free hand slid down your stomach, fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your pants. he paused, looking up at you with a question in his eyes. "is this okay?"

"fuck, yes," you gasped, hips bucking slightly against his hand. He smirked, a flash of confidence breaking through his usual stoic but timid demeanor.

dae-ho's fingers slipped beneath your waistband, teasing along your lower abdomen. his touch was electric, sending shivers through your body as he slowly, torturously, inched lower. "fuck, you're so wet," he growled, his fingers finally reaching your slick folds. he ran a finger along your slit, gathering your arousal before circling your clit. you gasped, hips jerking at the sensation.

dae-ho's mouth returned to your breast, tongue laving over your nipple as his fingers worked between your legs. he slipped one finger inside you, then another, curling them to hit that spot that made you see stars. "ah, fuck, d-dae-ho," you moaned, clutching at his shoulders. "please, i need more."

he lifted his head, dark eyes meeting yours. "tell me what you want," he said, voice low and husky. "i want to hear you say it, princess"

you swallowed hard, arousal and anticipation making you bold. "i want your cock," you breathed. "i want you to fuck me until i can't remember my own name."

a groan rumbled in his chest. "fuck, you can't just say things like that," his dick was throbbing at this point. "you don't care that guard is outside the door, you want this, don't you? you're such a little slut for me. want me to fuck your brains out? i'll give you what you want."

without warning, he spun you around, pressing your chest against the cold tile wall. his hands roamed your body, caressing your curves before settling on your hips. you could feel the heat of his body against your back, his breath hot on your neck. "you want my cock?" he growled, grinding his erection against your ass, "then you're gonna get it, baby."

his fingers hooked into the waistband of your pants, tugging them down along with your underwear in one swift motion. the cool air hit your exposed skin, making you shiver. dae-ho's hand slid between your legs, fingers teasing your slick folds. "fuck, you're so wet for me," he groaned, slipping two fingers inside you. he pumped them slowly, curling them to hit that spot that made your knees weak. "you like that, don't you? like feeling my fingers inside your tight little pussy?"

you moaned in response, pushing back against his hand. "please, dae-ho," you whimpered. "i need more." he chuckled, a low, throaty sound that sent shivers down your spine. "patience, baby. i'm gonna make you feel so good."

dae-ho's fingers continued their torturous rhythm, pumping into you at a steady pace. his thumb found your clit, circling the sensitive nub, adding another layer of sensation, making you moan and whine so loud. "fuck, you're so responsive," he breathed, nibbling at your earlobe. "i love hearing the sounds you make."

he scissored his fingers, stretching you as he prepared you for his cock. you could feel it, hard and hot against your ass, twitching with each noise you made. "you have no idea how long i've wanted this," he groaned, fingers twisting inside you. "to have you, all to myself. to make you mine."

the thought of belonging to dae-ho, of being claimed by him, sent a fresh wave of arousal through you. you rocked back against his hand, seeking more friction. "please," you whimpered, "i need you. stop teasing me."

dae-ho needed no further encouragement. he withdrew his fingers, making you whine at the loss, but quickly turned you back around and replaced his fingers with the blunt head of his cock. he rubbed it up and down your slit, coating it in your arousal before positioning it at your entrance. "ready, baby?" he asked, voice tight with restraint. at your nod, he pushed inside, filling you in one smooth thrust.

you cried out at the sensation, your back arching off the wall. he felt so big, stretching you deliciously as he buried himself to the hilt. "fuck, you're tight,"he groaned, giving you a moment to adjust. you clenched around him instinctively, earning a low curse. "fuckk, i'm gonna make you feel so good. gonna fuck this sweet little pussy till you forget everything but my name. i want you screaming my name with that pretty voice you have"

dae-ho set a punishing pace, his hips snapping against yours as he pounded into your tight heat. you were lost in the pleasure, every thrust sending you closer to the edge. "fuck, dae-ho," you moaned, clenching around him."you feel so good."

he groaned, the sound low and guttural. "i need you closer," he grunted, slowing his thrusts. "wrap your legs around me, baby. wanna feel all of you." he pulled out, turning you around to face him. his eyes were dark with lust, pupils blown wide. "jump," he ordered, lifting you easily. you obligied, wrapping your legs around his waist as he held you up effortlessly against the wall.

and then he was moving again, thrusting up into you with abandon.

the change in position allowed dae-ho to go deeper, hitting that spot inside you with every snap of his hips. "ahh fuck, yes!" you cried, fingers digging into his shoulders.

he captured your mouth in a searing kiss, tongue delving between your lips as he continued to pound into you. you met him thrust for thrust, your bodies moving in perfect sync. the pleasure built, coiling tighter and tighter in your core. you could feel your climax approaching, your walls starting to flutter around his cock. "fuck, i'm close," you whimpered against his mouth.

"that's it, baby," dae-ho encouraged, his voice strained. "let go. wanna feel you cum on my cock." dae-ho's words sent you over the edge. your orgasm crashed over you, wave after wave of ecstasy coursing through your body. you cried out his name, clinging to him as you trembled and convulsed around his still-thrusting cock. "fuck yes, just like that," he grunted, burying his face in your neck as he chased his own release.

he thrust erratically, losing his rhythm as he neared the brink. with a final, powerful snap of his hips, he came hard, spilling deep inside you with a hoarse shout. you could feel each pulse of his cock, the sensation sending after-shocks through your sensitive body.

he held you close, still buried inside you, as you both struggled to catch your breath. kisses were peppered along your jawline, your neck, your shoulder... gentle, almost reverent, in the aftermath of your passion.

eventually, he lifted his head, gazing at you with a mix of satisfaction and lingering desire. his softening cock slipped out of you, and he slowly lowered your shaky legs to the ground, keeping a firm grip on your waist to steady you.

"are you alright?" he asked, smoothing your damp hair back from your face. "did i hurt you?"

you shook your head, unable to suppress a blissful smile. "no," you murmured. "that was...incredible."

he huffed a soft laugh, pressing his forehead to yours. "you're incredible," he corrected, voice rough with emotion. "i've never felt anything like that before. "he kissed you then, slow and deep, putting all his feelings into the embrace. when he finally pulled away, you could see the vulnerability in his eyes, the tender look that graced the ex-marine's features.

"what happens now?"

you smiled softly, running your fingers through his sweat-dampened hair. "now?"you murmured. "now we get cleaned up, and go back to the bunks before someone misses us and comes looking."

dae-ho chuckled, nodding in agreement. "as much as i'd love to stay here with you all night, you're right." he pressed one more lingering kiss to your lips before reaching for your discarded clothes, handing them to you one by one. once you were both dressed, he tugged you close, resting his chin on top of your head.

"wanna sleep with me tonight?"

dae-ho studied you for a long moment before nodding slowly, a small but genuine smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "okay," he agreed softly. "i'd like that."

hand in hand, you snuck back to the dorm, slipping quietly into dae-ho's bunk just as the others were settling down for the night. you huddled together under the thin blanket, your bodies close but your touches chaste. this night had been intense, but for now, all you wanted was to be near him.

"good night, mr. marine."

"good night, mrs. marine's trouble."

as you drifted off to sleep in his arms, you couldn't help but smile. you weren't sure what tomorrow would bring, or where this new development would take you. but for now, you were happy. happy, and safe, and exactly where you were meant to be.

but how quickly could this all change?

[maenoakasuna]

All For Us Part III Part I - Part II

Hello ! It's me, again ! Not gonna Lie, I don't remember the last time i Finished that much part in less than a Week. I'm probably more picky when it come to my french words since it's my first language. I feel like english is easier to express feelings, but at the same time I don't know how to express it the way I like ? It's weird.

Anyway, A good part for more Reader and Thanos moment. Not the best but definatly cute. Nam-Gyu exist and he's a bithc ( I kinda like him for real and love the Thanos-Nam-gyu Duo, please don't kill me )

Anyway enjoy this part. TW : Mention of drug, cheating, Nam-Gyu exist.

Tag : @private-vampire @rafesbunniebby

You woke up the next morning, or maybe some hours later, you weren't really sure how much time you slept, on the sound of the music you heard when you woke up the first time. This annoying music can give you the worst headache. You still felt tired and hungry. The snack you had yesterday wasn’t that much.

You sat up in your bed, realising your felt sweaty and it gross you out. You didn’t remember but you probably had a bad dream last Night. 

Whipping the sweat of your forehead, you remove the hoodie and tie it up around your hips and go place yourself in line to go take breakfast. The head still in the pillow, you never heard the voice from behind, calling your name, but you felt your heart skip out of fear when you felt two arms wrapping you from behind to give you a back hug. 

«-Still ignoring me, princess ? »

Thanos, of course, you should have known better. Only him could do such a thing. You try to remove his arms from around your body, but he strongly sticks to you.

«-Thanos, please. I’m too tired to deal with your childish shit.-Then, don’t. Let me just hug you in silence.»

You sight and put your hands on his arms, ready to block him if he wants to go close to your belly.

«-I’m all sweaty, you shouldn’t touch me like this and i probably smell gross. -I don’t care, baby.»

You grunt, annoyed. Back in the days it would be things you would have felt for or found adorable, but today, everything is way more different.  The pets name, his demonstration of affection in public, that were things you felt for.

Out of nowhere, you felt tears in your eyes. You were about to cry. Having him so close to you like this after what happened, the stress of him discovering the pregnancy, the lac of sleep. You hated everything, especially the hormones. Without all that you could manage to hide your emotions way better. One tear slid on your cheek and you couldn’t hole a snort.

«-Y/N ? »

You could feel Thano's concern in his voice as he turned you around. You quickly wiped his tears and looked away, not able to face him. 

«-Mind your business, I'm fine, you said before he could ask you a thing.»

You quickly turn around and take your lunch before going back to your bed. You could ear Thanos calling your name and following you, but you ignored him, tears still falling from your eyes. It could be so easy if He could just ignore you and at if you were two perfect strangers. Before you put your feet on the first strai to go back to your bed, you felt it was to much to keep inside and you turned around to face Thanos. At this point you didn’t care if he could see you cry, or if the other contestant could ear everything. You were just a hurricane of emotions.

«-Why do you still following me ?! We spent the last two years in a fake relationship, so why could you not fake a little more ? Why are you still trying to get me attention ? Can you just not let me alone ?! Stay away from me !»

The other around ad stop eating and just looked at you and the purple hair rapper. Thanos didn’t care about them. He’s concern was all on you. You could see his expression, it wasn’t the same he normally show in public. The naturally confident and sassy Thanos was not the one you had in front of you Right now, it was more like a sad one.

«-Y/N…»

He get closer to you and gently takes your hand. His eyes were locked on you as he wipped one of your tears.

«-I know I messed up, more than once, but I swear I never faked anything. -Just like you swear you never cheated on me ? -I didn’t ! -Oh fuck You, I saw You ! I saw you in your private room with this girl. You kissed her with such passion that I taught you would fuck her right on the table. -But I didn’t ! »

You go silent just like the others. No one dares to say something or interrupts your couple-ish fight.

Thanos passed his hands on his face, already tired of this discussion before he continued since you had nothing to answer.

«-I was High as fuck and still mad from our fight in the morning. When I arrived at the bar that day, the girl still waited for me in my room. She worked at the bar and said she was a huge fan.»

He paused and took a deep breath.

«-She looked so much like You. That’s why I let myself go, but I never fucked with her. I stopped before.»

You were speechless, for many reasons. The first was because you were shocked he showed this part of him in front of everyone. He never really showed you his vulnerability before. And the other reason was how dumb that guy was. Even if he didn’t fucked her, he still kissed her and that was cheating, at least for you. 

«-Listen, I don’t want to talk more about this, especially here. You cheated, End of the story. Now, leave and let me alone.»

That was where the conversation ended. You go back to your bed to eat, whipping out your tears. When you opened your plate, it was full of rice, some veggies and an egg. It wasn’t that much, but it was enough to make you smile.

Player 222 came to see you and sat down in front of you, placing in your plate half of the egg she had in her plate. You looked at her confused. She only smiled before saying it was good for pregnant women and this part was offered by player 149. It was the old woman with her son who’s the number 007. 

You were thankful to 222 and 149 for this act of kindness, it warmed your heart after what just happened with Thanos.

«-So, Thanos is the father ? Asked 222, looking in his direction. -Yeah… »

You  also looked in Thanos' direction. He was with other people. They all talked but him, he was silent, something who never happened. He’s more the kind of guy who is gonna lead the conversation. Seeing him like this made you doubt for a second, considering forgiving him, telling him the truth about the baby. You remember how warm it was in his arms when he hugged you lately. It would be a lie to say you didn’t miss it.

«-Did he know about it ? -No and I don’t know if I should tell him.»

What if he doesn't have a positive reaction ? Tonight you will vote to go home after the game, but if the majority decide to stay and Thanos refuses you keep the kid, who knows what could happen to you ? If he was willing to push people during the first game, leading them you death, maybe he was crazy enough to push you to your own death and the kid death by the same occasion.

The time for the second game came and you was escorted in another room and asked to form teams of 5 players. So far you stayed with player 222 but you had to go separate way.

«-Since we are both pregnant It will be easier for us if we found a team with mens or less than just one pregnant woman.»

It was her idea, but you agreed. You know nothing about the next game after all. Looking around you, you tried to find someone or a little group who could need one more people. 

You stopped your research when Number 124, Thanos Friends found you. He looked at you up and down with a smile.

«-Still Looking for a Team ? -Definitely not yours, you answered.» 

He let a small laugh escape his lips as he got closer to you.

«-I think our team will be your best chance if you want to keep yourself and the baby alive. »

You looked at Player 124 shocked,  surprised he knew about your pregnancy. Automatically, you cover your belly by fear he could do something to you. Seeing you doing this make him laugh as he take some step back.

«-Relax, I will not lay a finger on you. I’m not that kind of guy. -Have You told Thanos ? -No, not Yet. But if you refuse to be our last team member, maybe the information could slip out of my mouth,  Who know. -How did you know I’m …»

You didn’t dare finish your sentence by fear everyone will hear you.

«-I overhear your conversation with the other pregnant girl. You should be more quiet about it if you don’t want everyone to know. -And you should keep the information for yourself if you don’t want to die. -Are you threatening me ? -No, I’m warning you.»

You and this asshole will definitely not get along really well, that’s for sure. Your eyes were locked on his as his smuggy smile didn’t disappear. He knew what he put you into and he was pleased by that.You don’t even know the guy but if you could crush his skull on the first wall you gonna cross, you would.

«-So you’re in or not ?-Do I really have a choice.-Technically, yeah. That’s up to you.-Oh shut up and lead the way to the other teammates.» 

You followed number 124 in silence. Once you were with the other, Thanos seemed surprised to see his friend with you. On his side, he was with a girl with her bottom lip pierced and a guy who looked shy. It’s not exactly the type of team you thought you would have, especially coming from your ex, but it was still better than no team at all.

«-Nam-Gi ! You actually convinced Y/N to join us. I’m surprised. What have you told her ? -Actually, it’s Nam-gyu..-Yeah whatever. What have you said ? »

Thanos seemed so happy to have you in his team, but you weren't as much as him. You were confused, even. This guy, number 124, Nam-Gyu, wasn’t supposed to overhear the conversation you had with Player 222 and He used it to his advantage to bring you there cause his ‘’ boss ‘’ asked him ?! You felt so defeated. Now how can he manage to explain that to Thanos without saying a word about your pregnancy.

«-Well, she looked for a team and since the time was almost out, she didn’t had many options. Right ? »

He looked at you with this venomous smile of his.

«-Yeah, exactly. Otherwise believe me I wouldn’t be there, you answered. -Welcome in the Thanos Team, the only one who can lead you to the Win.»

Some good old Thanos rap to put a good Vibe in our wanna be team. You cannot help but smile before you are led to another room with the other contestants. This Time, the game seemed more complex than the Red Light Green light. Every team will have feets tight up to one another and are going to walk to different activities. They need to finish every little game before the end of the Five minutes allowed. One of those games was Ddjaki. You were good at that game back in your childhood and you never lost against the recruiter. Everyone agreed to let you do it.

Once everyone had their positions, we watched the other teams and learned from their mistakes. Seeing some of them behind killed in front of you was something you wish you will forget one day. It gives you more anxiety minute after minutes. You gave a look at Thanos and Nam Gyu who didn’t even seem bothered by that, casually talking and swallowing their pills. What a bunch of Junkies…

When it was your Turn, your hands were shaky and you did your best to concentrate to hit easily the other colored paper. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and hit. It turned right away and you could continue. 

The other did well too and you managed to finish inside 5 minutes. The guards removed the locks at your feets and you managed to go back to the main room, still alive. On your way, Nam-gyu walked by your side, hands in his pocket.

«-You will vote to stay Tonight, right ?-Absolutely not. I need to go home. I will not put my life in danger another day»

You were stop by his body who placed itself in front of you.

«-I will make myself more clear then. You will vote to stay Tonight, If you don't want your baby daddy to know about your dirty little secret. -Oh so you are the one who is threatening me, now. -Of course not, I'm warning you. But the choice is yours to make »

And he continue his was to the main room. You looked at him leaving as you swear inside if you have to play another game, this guy will not survive. He play to much on your nerves. 

Back to your bed, waiting for the others to come back, you taught about what Nam-Gyu said. You never was the kind of girl to submit to something threatening like this and if Thanos have to know about the baby, He will probably understand the reason why you wanted to leave. So your choice will not change ; You will vote to leave.

That’s exactly what you did tonight. The loss of today didn’t change that much, you will not leave this place super rich, but you will find a way. It will be better outside than here, risking your life and your baby’s life. Your mind was also on player 222 who was in the same situation as you. 

After you had voted X , you saw the girl smiled at you and Nam-Gyu on the other side who looked pissed, but you didn’t care, you knew you had made the right choice.

Sadly, the majority of votes goes to O so you will have to stay and play another game Tomorrow. People are really insane, that’s so creepy. 

You managed to left the main room to go to the bathroom, where you found an open space to showed at the back of the room. With your stressful day and your sweaty dreams from last night, how could you say no to that. 

After you had removed your clothes, you opened up the water and let the hot water flow. It felt like a release. You didn’t even taught about washing your body, you just needed to relax more than anything else. Eyes shut, face in the direction of the water, you never heard when someone entered the room, or maybe you didn’t care. 

It becomes more serious when the water stops and your body got pressed against the cold wall. When you opened your eyes, surprised and ready to hit, you were surprised to see Thanos, who seemed angry.

«-Is that true Y/N ?! Is that fucking true ?! »

Your heart started to beat way faster. You had a good idea why he was there. Nam-gyu probably told him about your pregnancy. You knew it will happen but you didn't think about how you would react if you had to have this discussion. Trembling, more cause of the fear and anxiety caused by Thanos' anger you weren't able to place a word.

«-I…Don’t… -Don’t you fucking dare to say you don’t know what I am talking about ! »

He hit the wall next to your head before taking some step back to calm himself. You stayed there, trembling, trying your best to not cry again and hiding your naked body as much as you could. he definitely have seen everything by now but it was still embarrassing.

When he felt more calm, Thanos looked back at you, but his eyes were more on your belly than on you directly.

«-Are you pregnant for real ? Is that the real reason why you’re here ? »

[lulublack90]

Prompt 8 - First Heartbreak

@wolfstarmicrofic January 7, word count 559

“Oh, Remus,” Lily said as she turned the corner and saw him trying to hold back his tears. She wrapped her arms around him the best she could and hugged him in a way only she and his mum could. He sniffed hard as the tears tried to escape. He screwed his eyes shut as he began to break down.

His chest shuddered as he fought back the sobs, but they broke through and then Lily was stuffing a tissue into his hand as fat, hot tears streaked his face. 

“I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-s-sorry,” He choked out between sobs.

“What’s wrong, Remus?” She asked, stroking her hand up and down his back soothingly. 

“I’m such an idiot,” He said, shaking his head.

“Remus?” 

“I fell for Sirius, and now he’s got a new girlfriend and I just couldn’t stay up there,” He gasped in breath after breath as he tried to calm himself.

“Shhhh, it’s alight, shhhh,” Lily cooed, continuing to stroke his back. 

Sirius had spent the last 2 hours singing her praises and describing in great detail exactly what Emmeline Vance had let him do with her. When he’d started talking about how soft the inside of her thighs were, Remus had excused himself and gone to his favourite hiding place, a window sill, obscured by the statue of a troll in clunky armour, on the fourth floor. 

He hated how much Sirius having a girlfriend was hurting him. He had no right really. Sirius and the others didn’t know how he felt, only Lily knew and only because he’d needed to tell someone he liked boys. 

Lily let him cry himself out before she started cleaning him up. 

“Thanks, Lily,” He sniffled as she wiped his face dry. 

“I’m always here for you Remus. Even if it's to wipe your snotty face.” Remus laughed, blinking away the last few tears.

“It’s pathetic, isn’t it? Sirius having a girlfriend shouldn’t upset me so much. It’s never going to happen between us. I need to realise that and move on.” Maybe he should take Connor Innes up on his offer to go on a date on the next Hogsmeade weekend. That would be sure to shock the rest of the Marauders.

“We all have feelings for those we shouldn’t. Buck up, you’ve just experienced your first taste of heartbreak. Welcome to the club,” Remus narrowed his puffy eyes at her. 

“Who’s broken your heart?” He asked with no idea who it could be.

“Are you ready to go back up?” Lily said, totally skirting around Remus’s question. “I can come sit with you and tell Sirius to shut up or cast a bat bogey hex on him; I’ve been practising.” Remus chuckled sadly. 

“That sounds good, but could we just have a few more minutes here,” He asked hesitantly. 

“Anything you want, sweetie,” Lily told him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and letting Remus lean against her. 

It would probably always hurt having these feelings for Sirius, but he hoped they’d become easier to handle in the future because he didn’t think these feelings would ever go away, and he refused to lose Sirius as a friend. He sighed and stood up, bringing Lily with him.

“I’m ready,” He told her, and together they walked back up to Gryffindor Tower, Remus feeling a bit better than when he left. 

[marshiewritesfics]

Hiyaaa can i ask you something? Sorry if i disturb you, what would the batboys do if s/o has a mag like, s/o can't eat late can't skip meals, but s/o is stubborn and sometimes skip meals but end up having a worst stomachache (I'm experiencing it rn 😭) that's all i hope i don't Disturbing you!

The Batboys with a S/O who forgets to eat a meal and they get a stomachache

A/N - Thank you so much for the request anon! You weren’t a bother at all. I hope you enjoy! Have a great day!

This is some headcanons where the Batboys, S/O, just simply forgets to eat a meal but ends up having a stomachache. This is how the Batboys take care of them.

DICK GRAYSON-

- such a sweetheart in this situation

- “Babe, you shouldn’t forget to eat! You need to at least eat something small.”

- immediately goes to find you a snack or something close by to eat if you’re out and about

- rushes to your side to help you and makes sure you’re okay

- insists on making you something healthy and light to eat

- cracks a few jokes to distract you from the pain while he makes you something

- after you eat, he makes sure to remind you to always try and eat something even if it’s small

- if you have a stomachache, he grabs you some medicine and takes you over to the sofa to lie down for a bit until you feel better

JASON TODD-

- he’s a little grumpy at first, but he softens up and helps you find some medicine and helps lead you over to the couch to lie down

- “Seriously? You need to take better care of yourself, y/n. I’ll go make you something to eat.”

- whips up something quick and healthy for you to snack on

- “Next time, I’m not letting you out of my sight until you’ve eaten!”

- makes sure you’re always well fed after that, always has some snacks on hand for you to munch on

TIM DRAKE-

- very caring when this happens

- immediately jumps into overprotective mode

- shows up with some snacks and a worried look on his face

- “Babe! You really need to take better care of yourself. What if I wasn’t here to help you? Let me go make you some food. I’ll be right back.”

- gets all serious and makes sure you have something nice and healthy to eat (besides the snacks he brought)

- pulls out some healthy recipes that he found online to make for you

- makes it a priority to be sure you’re happy and healthy

[heyits481]

The window of the car is cool against his face, and Lando allows his eyelids to droop slightly as they bump down the road leading them back to their hotel. He feels the press of a knee against his, knows it’s Oscar- it’s only them in the backseat- the driver up front humming to some African song on the radio. It’s good, Lando wants to Shazam it so he can use it for an Instagram post in the future, but doesn’t know if it’s alright for him to or if people would cancel him for, like, being culturally insensitive or something.

He huffs at Oscar’s knee bump, doesn’t have the energy to peel his head away from the glass. “That was a bit shit.” Oscar says, keeping his voice low under the volume of the music.

Lando grins against the glass, happy that the team had convinced Oscar to come along to the gala and endure the circus with him. Having someone around to divide the misery with. “It always is mate, you came last year, did you expect it to be that much different this time?” There’s a thoughtful hum from Oscar and Lando feels him shift in his seat. “Yeah. No, I meant more, the video. Like, fuck them for feeding into the drama and stuff.”

Oh. Lando feels his stomach get a bit warm and fuzzy at that. “Oh, I didn’t even, I guess I’m just used to it.” He laughs at the thought, finally turning to look at Oscar. His teammate doesn’t give much away with his expression, but he doesn’t laugh along which is unusual, and annoying to Lando who particularly enjoys making Oscar laugh.

“You shouldn’t be. Used to it. The team should do something.” Oscar’s eyebrows are squishing together, Lando wants to push them apart with his thumb. He shakes his head. “That’ll just make it- listen, it’s not something you have to worry about.” Lando doesn’t want to presume, so he adds on- “Not that I’m saying you are worried. Or like, would worry about me, like, I’m saying it’s all good, people just do things like this. It’s whatever.”

Oscar rubs at his throat, and it’s really only natural for Lando’s eyes to follow the movement, to watch the way Oscar’s fingers run over the skin. He wonders how his fingers would look there instead. Lando blinks his eyes quickly, clearly more tired than he was thinking. Oscar hums. “I dunno. I don’t know how you put up with it sometimes.”

To be fair, Lando doesn’t really know how he does either- didn’t really put up with it well at all until recently. “Yeah. Honestly, I think it’s just normal to me now. It’s like I’m..”

“Desensitized.” Oscar fills. Lando nods, smiling as he agrees. “Yeah, exactly.” But Oscar is still frowning slightly, still with the wrinkle between his eyebrows, so Lando reaches over and squeezes at his elbow. “Seriously. I’m fine with it, it’s for engagement and things, their opinion doesn’t actually matter.”

Oscar opens his mouth to respond before shaking his head softly and angling his body toward the window. Lando is the one who frowns now, unsure what he said wrong. But before he can ask what’s the matter they’re arriving back at the hotel, Andrea and Zak’s car just behind them, and all the way back to their rooms there's laughter and joking and Oscar is playing along as if nothing is the matter.

Then Zak is clapping him on the shoulder, Andrea and his wife are wishing him goodnight- the former placing a hand to his cheek and repeating how he’s done so well this year- and all of the sudden he’s alone again with Oscar. Oscar, who smiles at him gently and goes to open his own hotel room door.

“Osc, wait.”

Oscar presses his key to the pad, unlocking it, but pauses after pushing down the handle, turning slightly to meet Lando’s eye. Lando rubs the toe of one of his shoes into the ground, finds that he suddenly feels nervous for some reason. “Are you mad at me or something?” Lando doesn’t really know why Oscar would be mad at him, but he knows himself well enough to know if he doesn’t ask he’ll go back to his room, sit on the bed, and be unable to think about anything else.

His therapist had been working with him on this, being more assertive when something was bothering him and facing his concerns more directly with others. She says he ‘ruminates’ on problems too much, which- when he’d googled it after one session- he found basically means he overthinks things. Lando doesn’t know why she feels the need to use fancy words all the time but assumes it must come along with being a doctor or whatever.

“Lando?” Oscar breaks him out of his train of thought. “Did you hear me?” Lando shakes his head, cheeks flushing slightly. “Why would you think-” There’s a ding from the lifts around the corner and Oscar hesitates like he’s unsure if he should continue, then inclines his head slightly towards his door. “Want to come in for a minute?”

Lando kind of just wants Oscar to say he’s not mad, so that his brain can move past it all and he can go to his own room to sleep, but it seems like that won’t be happening so he nods and follows Oscar into his room.

The lights are dim, only a few of the lamps on, and the air con is humming faintly. Oscar leans against the kitchenette and raises an eyebrow at him. “So?” Lando bites at the dry skin of his lower lip, then runs his tongue over it. Watches Oscar watch him. “So.” He echoes back lamely. “I’m not mad at you.” Oscar says, pushing his hair back off of his forehead. Lando feels his shoulders relax automatically at the words. Really, he never thought Oscar would have been, it takes a lot to make Oscar mad- Lando’s only passed the criteria a few times- but it still feels nice to be reassured. “Mate. You couldn’t have just told me that in the hallway?” He says it in an exasperated tone that Oscar will be all too familiar with, and not take seriously at all. As expected, Oscar snorts, the corner of his mouth ticking up like he’s trying to stop himself from smiling.

“Reckon I could have, yes.” He sniffs. “I just wanted to explain-” Lando waves his hand around to cut Oscar off. “It doesn’t have to be a whole deal, I get it- I overthink how other people are feeling sometimes.” And care too much about what you think of me, he adds mentally.

Oscar shakes his head. He’s looking at Lando the way he does sometimes, the way that makes Lando’s brain feel all squirmy like he’s been out on a boat for too long. “No mate, I was mad. Just not at you, but I could see where you’d think-” Oscar pauses, seems like he is about to take a step toward Lando before slouching further against the counter. “I just hate that you have to deal with all that. Even if you say it’s fine, you shouldn’t have to be ok with people doing stuff like that to you.”

It’s silent for a moment, Lando brings his thumb to his mouth to bite at it without realizing and then drops his hand back to his side. On the one hand, Oscar’s his rival. He wants to beat Oscar just like every other driver, maybe even a bit more if he’s honest with himself, and Oscar could be playing the mental game- trying to get him to be all vulnerable or some fucked up power play that Mark Webber probably taught him. But on the other hand Oscar gets it. In a way his family, or friends, or therapist will never be able to. And for some reason he really trusts Oscar, even if maybe he shouldn’t.

“I was lying.” He says softly. “It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to but yeah, it’s kind of shit, like, always being on edge about how people will twist what I say. And that everyone else was celebrated tonight but that wasn’t really the focus when it came to my season.”

Oscar does take a step toward Lando then, brushes his hand at the cuff of Lando’s dress shirt, fingers hot against the skin of his wrist. Lando feels a flash of desire through him, wants Oscar to grab hold of his bow tie and pull him close. “You can always talk to me, you know, if you want to.” Oscar mumbles, thumb dipping under Lando’s sleeve.

Lando doesn’t remember when Oscar last mentioned his girlfriend, knows he hasn’t brought her to a race in a while, not posted her on socials, and now that Lando thinks about it Oscar has been texting him more than usual recently. But if Lando’s honest with himself he doesn't care either way if they’re still together or not, he just really wants to kiss Oscar- has wanted to kiss him for a while really.

Oscar’s lips are warm against his, wet in contrast to the way his own are dry and cracked because he always forgets to use the lip balm his mum gave him. The kiss lasts for what feels like a heartbeat before Oscar pulls back, and Lando thinks for sure he’s fucked it, keeps his eyes closed to avoid seeing how Oscar must be looking at him with disgust. But then Oscar’s palms cup his face and he feels the sweep of a thumb across his cheekbone, the press of Oscar’s forehead against his. When Oscar whispers the movement of air against his lips is like another kiss.

“Fuck. How could anyone ever speak badly of you? You’re absolutely perfect.”

[acupofinkedblood]

Banhammer x reader

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

• Ah, the infamous ruthless tyrant of Banland, the raging warden who serves justice violently with a swing of his hammer. Maybe he isn’t the most well-known for his actual name, but if you remind people of how close they are getting to see the warden himself, you will definitely witness a lots of them start to wince in raw distress because oh boy do they know better than to be standing face to face with that guy. Banhammer is a merciless and cocky bastard to the core, whether it is his actual intention to piss people off or not. It’s just his nature to get on people’s nerves at this point. So here’s the one hundred bux question: How the hell did you stand his ass? Or just in case you start listing out your reasons - How the heck did the thing between you two even started and then escalated this far?

• For whatever the reason of a joke, your life has been gifting you a miracle under the disguise of a chaotic fun-sized bomb contains confetti and hot sauce when it has weaved the destined red thread on your pinky to Banhammer’s. Like it or not, that’s your case of a deal now. I won’t ask you why all of every options you have available, you go for a guy with an ego as big as his own muscles with the attitude that has the magic to get on anyone’s nerves unintentionally, because your reason won’t amuse me too much. The question isn’t who falls first, but who has the audacity to admit it first because it feels like an endless game of cat and mouse on the river of playing dumb between you and him

• One thing you have to keep in mind about Banhammer is how the idea of dating a mortal is being associated as a foolish act of sentimental behavior, in which that belief has been engraved deep into his mind with little room for negotiation. Especially when he has seen what happened to his cousin’s family, the downfall and the trauma it has left them make him feel uneasy. Maybe a tad of sympathy for them as well, they were too young to witness that. As if his work’s line doesn’t make him have no time left to breathe — let alone dating stuff — but if he has to date, who would he set his eyes on anyway? There are barely any options for him aside from dating a mortal. Will he be enthusiastic about the idea? Hell no, he has stated his mind and nothing can ever change the way he thinks. Will he regret his own statement because he will literally go against that soon? Absolutely

• Because then he meets you. A mortal, no more and no less. Under normal circumstances, you should have been nothing but another light of life passing through with little significance to his life as any other mortals he used to know before. Nothing but a bystander, as how he usually puts it. And it should just stay like that! Unless you’re a criminal of course. But fate just really loves to laugh into his face — or in this case, his attempt of reminding himself that — in the most unexpected way possible. From a stranger, you start to grow on him, for the worse or the bette. It’s just those simple things, yet it makes him looking over to your direction a bit longer than usual. When Banhammer realizes just how much he is pinning over you, wanting to see you the next time he is out of duty, he knows damn well that he is screwed

• He will be in denial. Yes, you hear me right, there are no ways that he is going to deal with these forsaken feelings that shouldn’t exist in the first place. Don’t get him wrong, he likes you genuinely. You have been a pleasant company in his life, something good to look forward to in the future - in which yes, he adds you to that list of those things he likes in his mind. But the idea of commitment to a mortal is still making him feel uncertain. Like he used to say, that’s just asking for tragedy. Children of the Swords are meant to work, not fool around and see what happens! He isn’t going to be a hypocrite that goes back on his words, that’s just absurd. But on top of that, he will never tell anyone this, but he is scared. Don’t think that with those little emotional intelligence will turn him into a mass of brawny muscle, he still feels things too. And he has a reason to be afraid of that possibility

• You are a mortal, he is a demi-deity. Minus the clear difference in status, he knows you can’t stay with him forever until the sun burns into nothing but a beautiful mass of destruction. He will have to grieve you, as he will outlive you sooner or later. Sure, maybe there exists a chance that he will die first since like it or not, he can still be killed by mortal’s hands. But it isn’t a problem to him. Banhammer can keep his head on his neck as long as he has the situation under control. But you on the other hand, will have to deal with old age. He doesn’t like to think of that view in the future, and the heartbreak that comes with it. Windforce above, he is scared. Banhammer will probably be in denial for who knows how long, as long as it will do him a favor of burying his own feelings. But you know this bastard better than that

• Give him a moment to collect himself, then take out a coin. You think that you will need to flip a coin to see if it’s the head or tails? Wrong, just toss the coin into nowhere because you don’t need to know if fate gives you the green light to engage with this mess the two of you have walked in without even knowing it firsthand. As much as Banhammer tries to resist his own feelings, he just can’t resist you. His mind is currently having a storm because of you after all. Like it’s mentioned earlier, give him some time to relax first. Reassuring him that it doesn’t hurt to listen to what we want in our hearts. Maybe you might jest that after you die, he can keep a little piece of your horn to be a good luck charm. And yeah, he will just rolls his eyes with a clicked tongue. Though it does lighten up the mood somewhat after you two just joke around back and forth about it. He appreciates it, he really does. It gives him the courage to decide on his own

• To say that Banhammer doesn’t have confidence is a wild take because have you seen this man? He knows his worths. He knows that if he steps out to the battlefield, he will knock all of those damn criminals down with little regard to error. To claim that he doesn’t know what is he doing is just pure stupidity — although sometimes you do wonder where the hell is his last brain cell in certain moments — he believes in his strength and loves to take on challenges, even going as far as making things harder for himself just to prove how strong he is. Maybe when you step into his life, he does the most questionable thing ever just to impress you. Though it does look silly most of the time, but hey, at least it’s sort of cute

• He strives to be the best, nothing less than that. Banhammer has that competitive spirit that allows him to achieve even the impossible at the nick of time. Sometimes those banters that occur between you two happen just because he finds it so necessary to boost his own name over the moon, especially when it comes to his work. If it isn’t obvious, he can be petty if you’re better than him in what he is an expert at, golf is included. This bastard will literally sulk if you take away his chance to impress you. It’s mostly lighthearted as he will pin it as a goal to surpass you the next time the two of you get around this topic again. His ego is as big as how he looks after all, don’t be so surprised when you see that shit-eating grin looking at you when he wins again

• Banhammer does things in his own way without further useless elaborations. He just acts on whatever he deems fit. Sometimes it brings him quiet the troubles whether it’s with you or his team. When he makes a flaw, he will bring up a scroll of excuse to get his point across. But don’t think he will just repeat that mistake. Banhammer knows how to look back to learn from his mistakes. He just does that without the need of anyone to notice and call it out. It’s irritating to him. Honestly it’s probably the fact he wants to have that feeling when everything is within his grasp so it won’t stray the other way too far. No one needs to point out his mistakes after he acknowledged it. You don’t need to repeat yourself to him, he knows

• Oh boy may the SFOTHs be at your mercy because this guy will definitely tease you until you can’t see the light anymore, especially before the two of you were officially in a relationship. It feels like most of the bones in his body are all mean ones at this point. Sometimes you might wonder if he’s just pulling your leg or does he actually mean what he says. Usually it’s just something about your personality, appearance, work-related stuff or even just out of nowhere stuff when he is beside you. As if that’s the only way he has in mind to strike up a conversation with you: To begin it with a short joke. Don’t worry too much, he means well to a certain extent, so just keep your head up

• This might surprise you but he is actually a decent leader. He has a police team under his command at Banland. Some people might assume that he would treat his subordinates like how he treated his prisoners, but they have never been more than just wrong in their life when saying that. He only cause harm to those dipshits who disobey the obvious law. He still knows what is right and not, making the assumption that he treats everyone like shit is so unfair. Banhammer looks at his subordinates like family at some point. They can even call him out on being stupid when they see him blindfolded himself then almost walking into lava, and he doesn’t take it to heart. They can jest around with him that way with ease

• Banhammer can be such a flirt sometimes. But do keep in mind that he is also pretty out of pocket here and there. Not much of a shocker, isn’t it? When the two of you don’t know each other, he keeps things professional in the box. When you slowly starts to get to know him more personally as the feeling is somehow mutual, that’s the peak of him becoming such a bastard. It’s that line between keeping things casual and making you feel wanted. He literally says the most ridiculous things ever with a straight face. Definitely the type to make suggestive jokes and then laugh his throat off when seeing how flustered you are. But when you return the favor back to him, his brain just stops functioning for a good few seconds as he is pretty much screaming internally like a teenager

• Once you gets to know him better aside from that warden persona he has almost all of the time on while he is at duty, you will soon realize that he also has a heart. Banhammer has a soft side that he hides under the amount of armor wore on his body. He keeps it to himself because letting others get their hands on his ‘weakness’ isn’t what he looks forward to at all. Being soft is equal to being weak, that’s what he keeps repeating inside his mind. But well, not when you manage to work your way into his heart. Spending times alone with you, letting you know the fullest of him - it suddenly doesn’t feel so bad anymore

• This is a hot take but despite that rough and cocky exterior, he is actually pretty lovely in a relationship. Surely that he won’t just flip out immediately and turns into a completely different person when being with you, but you can notice that obvious change of tone in his voice when speaking to you. It feels much more gentle than when he is speaking to someone else. Banhammer isn’t too much of a romantic guy, but he knows how to appreciate a special someone in his life. Each touch he lovingly ghosts against your skin, to caress your face or to rub your back, he means every single one of them. The way he tries to deny the fact that he is nervous because of this particular relationship — which is completely new to him surprisingly — is just adorable while he glances over at you. But you know he holds no heat between those eyes, because the very next moment he already presses a kiss onto your lips as an attempt to prove you his words

• He is pretty much protective of you. This doesn’t just come from the difference in power scales of you and him, but also from the fact that he is worried about those pesky criminals that will seek you out for revenge against him. Although Banhammer is confident of his own strength to protect the two of you, and if you can also fight, he respects that too. But when he has to be away for investigation at other regions, he can’t help but be a little obnoxious when making sure that you are safe and sound at home. Even when you can kick ass, you can’t kick multiple asses at once! And he is even more of a worrywart if you can’t fight much. The thought of someone coming for you when he isn’t there to keep you unharmed is terrifying. You can’t really blame him when wanting to check up on you regularly like that. He means well, please keeps that in mind. Anyone who touches you the wrong way, even just a little bruise, will see a fate worse than Ghostwalker’s purgatory itself. Banhammer swears it, and you knows he takes that seriously

• He works out a lots, mainly to train himself to avoid getting sloppy the next time he is out chasing a certain cultist’s ass off. Seeing him working out is actually pretty intriguing, especially when you take a look at his schedule. It does rotate depending on how the day is going, but nonetheless, it’s all intense as hell. You’re free to join him if you want, but don’t feel awful when you can’t keep up with him and have to give up halfway. Banhammer will laugh at it, saying that you’re already lucky enough you don’t get a stroke then evaporate into nowhere with your determination. He is a demi-deity after all, it’s natural for people like you to be unable to catch up to him. Before you sulk and leave the place, he might tell you to get on his back as he starts doing pushups. You don’t want to miss that invitation, it’s actually pretty amusing when he pulls that off. That’s his way to keep you around and feel useful, and it works like a charm

• His wings are also quite the fascination. It’s not uncommon to be dumbfounded when you realize he has those wings which he can summon under the form of solidified energy at will, since he doesn’t feel the need to let anyone know about it. Poor those criminals when they have to see him charge with that ungodly speed of his wings directly at them though. But for you, things are pretty different than that comical scenario. Banhammer won’t mind holding you while flying around if that’s what you want. But do expect that this guy will still be an asshole about the entire thing as he will playfully threaten to drop you. He will never do that, just so you know. It only happens the few first time you two flying together

• And how can one even forget his unmistakable four eyes? With how much he blindfolded them by his own hands just so he can challenge himself even more, that wince when he takes it off and sees the light poking directly into his four eyes is always a laughable sight. How does it feel to not only have a pair of eyes looking at your direction, but two coming from the same person? When Banhammer takes off his blindfold, his expression will be easier to keep track on as his emotions really just be given away in his eyes. You know just how he is feeling at the moment just by looking into his eyes: Upset, happy, confused, worried…It feels like he is vulnerable in front of you and only you. On the side note, he can’t look directly into your eyes for too long since he sucks at eye contact without a blindfold. it just feels funny in a questionable way in his mind

• His hugs are suffocating in the best way possible. It’s firm, a bit rough yet still has that soothing effect that is able to calm your nerves down when needed. It’s hard to struggle out of his hug, but it doesn’t feel bad at all. You already knows just how strong he is with all that muscles and stuff going on inside his body, and with how he wields his massive hammer with ease too, so it’s natural to assume that Banhammer has that deadly powerful grip that can easily bruise you if he isn’t being careful. Honestly he is reluctant to give you physical affection at first, mainly because he doesn’t want to underestimate his strength and hurt you intentionally. It takes him quite a while as well as a good load of reassurance that he won’t crush your bones that easily — Mind you, he can but he won’t, just saying — until he eventually gives in

• Whether it’s because of the fact that Banland are surrounded by lava pool scattered almost everywhere on the surface or it’s just the fact that he is a walking personal heater, Banhammer’s body is more than just warm. Hold the hot jokes, I know you were about to say it. Yup, hold your horse buddy. But he does feel like a walking fireplace for most of the time, especially during winter for some reasons that you both can’t fully comprehend. He is the prefect partner to cuddle beneath the blanket with when you have a long day, as it’s highly recommended that you should do so in rainy or snowy weather. Summer can be a bit insufferable though, since his body feels too warm to your taste. You will probably have a heatstroke hugging him without an air conditioner in the room

• Sometimes he says blunt things that will hurt your feelings. He is rather emotionally inept, oblivious to other’s emotions around him. Banhammer tends to be brutally honest with his mind, saying things that can hurt others without realizing the actual effect behind it. Even when people get annoyed or upset with him, he might fail to even notice at first. Sometimes it can lead to a serious verbal fight between the two of you. That is until you have to point directly into his face and makes a statement about how hurt you felt when he said that does he realize he has screwed up. Banhammer is pretty much dumbfounded at the weight of his own words to you. Seeing you upset makes he feel bad. Banhammer will try his best to make things right again so that he can see that smile which he loves soon. Please know that he is trying, he doesn’t mean to hurt you

• Banhammer cares for you. If you’re mad at him, he will do just anything to make it up for you, even at the most absurd request you make him do - which he will begrudgingly accept his fate because he knows damn well just how angry you are. He is, surprisingly, willing to take a step back in an argument when things are too heated. Only you have that privilege though, other time he will just grunt back as if he is about to chew the other speaker’s head off. He mainly figures out how to apologize to you on his own without the help of anyone, it’s just embarrassing if one day he comes up to his subordinates and ask what should he do when his beloved is mad at him. They will laugh the living hell out of themselves. But then again, he does keep in mind what do you like so he can get it or do it in addition to his apology. Sometimes he does it pretty stiff since it feels off to actually apologize to someone. But hey, it’s the genuine thought that counts

• Windforce might have heard of you, mainly because of how Banhammer has quite the deep connection with his momma. This guy is a certified mama’s boy after all. He will tell her everything about you once he gets the chance to see his momma again. Windforce is pretty taken back by the news of her son’s selection in partner, a mortal, to be specific. She does doubt you at first due to her worries towards her son. But them she has came into terms with it as she knows there are no point interfering Banhammer’s business. She doesn’t have time to meet you, as she is pretty much occupied with her own business. Yet she will still send her blessings to you, a favor from her for making her son that happy. As long as Banhammer is contented with you, she doesn’t see the point in being against the whole thing

• His strong sense of justice is inherited from Windforce. Although it doesn’t sound that fitting, ‘justice’ and ‘Windforce’ together, since most demons know her because of her ruthlessness. But little did you know about the connection between using force and serving righteousness. Her justice doesn’t involve the gray between black and white, and it can blind her to the extreme point. Banhammer looks up at his mother, so he has taken her justice with him. The reason he resolves to use violence is because it teaches a better lesson than normal words - a good point, because even Banhammer knows that he sucks at using words to find a peaceful solution with those pesky criminals. He cringes at the lowly idea

• There will be a day that you will be but a memory in his mind. Banhammer used to be scared of the thought of you dying due to your mortality before him — and for your information, he still feels that uneasy feeling whenever he is reminded of it — but seeing those happy moments between the two of you, he knows that the film of you running in his mind will be a pleasant one. He will grieve you, of course he will. But then those good memories will help him back onto his feet once again. Banhammer will convince himself he that you are watching over him and his future. The thought of your spirit just cheering on his accomplishments is kinda funny, but endearing. Sometimes he might look at you with this silly question in his mind: If he can go back in time, will he still make the decision of this lifelong commitment with you

• And he answers it on his own with no hesitation: Always. No matter how many choices he is allowed to make, he will still come to you. Like it or not, aside from his mother and his works of serving justice, you will also one if his most important responsibilities who he adores and cherish until everything returns to ashes. You are his lover after all, why wouldn’t he choose you? He makes a vow to stay with you no matter what happens. Despite that cocky attitude that makes you want to punch him into the oblivion, you can’t deny that his soft side does melt your heart. Please remember just how much you mean to him, because you are the best thing he has ever happened in his life, he has the right to be proud of that

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Note: I’m so sorry for the delay! Hopefully these are long enough to make up for my disappearance (*´-`)

[fashionteahouse]

i wonder - edward cullen x reader

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As you tossed and turned you thought you were going crazy.

It was normal to think of someone, but you’ve never experienced someone taking up your entire mind.

You hadn’t touched your keyboard. You only stared at it. You haven’t played since your fingers knew what the Cullen’s grand piano had felt like. You look down at your fingers before closing them into fists. You wonder how much things had changed.

Walking outside, bundled up, you slightly jump from the sight of Edward, once again leaning against his car.

Waiting for you.

“Oh! Hello.” your parent greets beside you.

“Hello. Do you mind if I take Y/N to school today?” he asks politely. You watch the scene unfold without saying anything.

“I don’t mind.” they reply as they look at you, look at him.

“Are you ready?” Edward takes his eye contact and puts it in your direction. You just nod.

Your parent tells you they will see you later before adding, “Young man you shouldn’t stand outside in the cold like that. You will get sick.”

“I have a very strong immune system.” he says with a grin and your parent does nothing but shake their head and mutter, “You kids.”

Edward opened and closed your passenger door for you.

You silently just hold your hands to the hot air that flowed out of the vents. He didn’t say anything either.

You slowly would take looks from the corner of your eye before watching the snowy road in front of you.

No words were said, but he still walked you to your locker to put your coat away.

You tried very hard to focus. You looked down on your eraser covered quiz that the teacher had issued. You sigh to yourself as you brushed the eraser crumbs away.

Lab day.

You looked next to you, your lab partner was absent.

“Y/N?”

You look up to your teacher after you had collected the necessary materials for the day’s lab.

“Yes?”

“Your partner isn’t here. Do you want to work by yourself or do you want to join a group? It’s up to you.”

“Um…” you say and slowly take in your options. Other partners started to already get to work, the small chatter swirled in the science environment.

“By myself.” you say.

“Okay.” they reply with a soft touch to your shoulder and walk to another group, checking up on what they’re doing.

You write your name on the worksheet.

“Can we work together?” you hear and you immediately look up.

Edward’s eyes weren’t shy as he peered down at you.

“S-sure.” you say. You watch his body move to sit in the spot your partner usually sits in.

He then takes control, doing most of the work as he lowly tells you the answers.

“I could’ve helped. I’m not entirely useless.” you whispered as the teacher told a group to stop goofing off.

A small chuckle comes out and he says, “I know. I just want to get done faster.”

“What’s the rush?”

He shrugged before looking at you and you look down.

“Is something wrong?”

You shake your head.

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing..Am I..Acting like something’s wrong?” you ask as you write down the answers that he pushed in your direction.

“It’s just…You aren’t your talkative self.”

You just nod silently.

“I have a lot on my mind.” you say.

“What is it?” he immediately asks.

“Nonsense. Things that aren’t really all that important.” you brush off.

“I have a lot on my mind as well.” he says after you both looked at the scale and write down the ounces.

“What is it?” you ask.

He sighed softly, only a bit before looking at you with a soft grin, “Why did you really stop playing yesterday?”

You sit back in your chair a bit, “Because..” you say with a shrug, “I wasn’t trying to make it seem like I was a show off or anything.”

“That was your moment to be a show off.”

“Well..It’s over now.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

You look at him in question just as the bell for the first half of class ending, rings.

As students went to their lockers and used the bathrooms, you and Edward stayed seated at the lab table.

“What are you doing after school?”

“I have a piano lesson today.” you tell him.

It seemed as though Edward tried to think of something else to say.

“After that?”

“Going home…” you say with a slight shrug.

The class resumed after the small break. The teacher closed the door back.

“Are..Are we finished?” you ask as Edward takes both of your completed worksheets in his hand.

He nods and placed the sheets in the bin. The teacher grins a bit and goes back to typing on their open laptop.

You then pull out homework.

“Where did you move from?”

You tell him.

“That’s not far…” he mused and you nod.

“Has it always been one parent?”

“Divorce.” you answer in a small voice as you fly through the homework. You just did not feel like doing it later.

“Where are you going to college?”

You pause your writing and look up at him with a pitiful expression. He’s amused by this.

“I really don’t want to talk about all of that right now.”

You’ve heard enough of it at home.

“May I ask why?” he asks.

“It’s just..Not my priority right now, alright? I…” you say and look down to the pencil that’s clutched in your hand, “I don’t even know what I’m going to major in, let alone choose a school.”

“Music.” he says as if it’s very obvious.

“I’m afraid it’s not a safe career option.” you say.

His eyebrows furrowed a bit, “Why isn’t it?”

“I guess my lovely parent has nightmares of me being a homeless but talented musician.” you mutter. This makes him laugh a bit.

Walking side by side in the halls, he stops before the cafeteria is in view.

“Skip your lesson.”

You whip around at him as if he was crazy. He just plainly stared at you.

“Why on Earth would you ask me to do that?” you ask.

“We can work on your song for your competition recording.”

“That’s why I going to my lessons.” you say and nudge his arm.

“I can teach you superb notes to play. Something that isn’t repetitive.” he insisted.

“You don’t even know the song I’m playing.” you say.

The people you sit with at lunch walks past, questions that you know you will have to answer to at the table, is painted on their faces.

“Tell me.”

You tell him.

He shakes his head slightly, showing disapprovement.

“Come on..That’s elementary for your skill level.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m not skipping my lesson. Plus, I don’t want to get trouble when I’m supposed to be there and I don’t show up because I was getting my own special lesson from you.” you say and you walk away at that.

They did ask what you two were talking about.

“We had to work together in science today. It’s nothing.” you wave off.

A new chapter was taught in history. In the dark room that was lit up from the teacher’s screen, showing what needed to be wrote down, the class took notes. Jasper was back in his seat in the back of the class.

You slid your coat on and watched as Edward stood in front of you. He did something that surprised you.

He extends his arms and zips your coat up for you. You blinked.

“Thanks.”

He only nods.

“Here to convince me?” you poke at him.

“It seems you have your mind made up.” he says.

He tells you goodbye as you walk to the car that your parent was in.

As they drive, you notice that you’re going in the direction of your home, not to the place where the lesson was held.

“Where are you going?” you ask.

“We have to talk.” they tell you.

“Okay..”

“I feel like we should pull back from lessons-“

“What?”

“Y/N, sit back.” they say as they take a glance at you.

“No.” you say. They give you a look. You sit back.

“Why? Why are you doing this to me?” you ask desperately.

“You need to be more focused on what you’re going to do with your life.”

You cross your arms as you felt like you were going to cry.

“I know what I’m going to do with my life…Just please don’t take this away from me. Please!” you beg.

“What are you majoring in?” they ask as you both come to a stop at a red light.

You didn’t have an answer. You couldn’t blurt out an answer because they will hold you to it.

“See? Maybe this summer we can put you back in but for right now-“

“This summer?! That’s like…” you quickly count on your fingers, “Five months from now! What am I going to do until then?”

“Study. Really get down into what you are going to go to school for. If you’re going in my profession, I can start pulling some strings now but otherwise, get some letters of recommendations ready so you’re not scrambling all around last minute. Then, we gotta start doing tours of schools. There’s a lot to be done Y/N and now’s the time to start getting prepared. You can always tinker around with your piano once your business is taken care of.”

You slump back in your seat and let the rest of the lecture go in one ear and out the other. It was completely unfair.

You press down on your keyboard sadly as you couldn’t think of giving it up.

You barely spoke in the morning as you got dropped off at school. Your parent still wished you a good day. You were planning to have the most terrible day.

“How was your lesson?” Edward asks as you shoved your belongings in the locker and slam it shut.

“No more lessons until the summer. Yay me.” you say and storm off. He keeps up.

“Why?”

“Because.” you huff out angrily, “Because..Apparently it’s only pleasure and not at all business.”

“I’m sorry..” he says.

You give him a quizzical look, “Why are you apologizing?”

He opens and closes his mouth and opens it again, “It’s unfortunate..”

You nod and start to go inside of the classroom but his hand touches the hand that was at your side. You look at him.

“We can practice after school.”

You shake your head.

“Nah..”

“Why not? Isn’t that what you want?” he asks.

“It is but…You’ve done enough as it is.” you tell him.

You felt his eyes watch as you walk to your seat and sit down.

Quizzes were passed back. You read the score.

“6/10”

Your teacher leans down to quietly speak to you, “I know you can do better than that.”

You nod.

Your acting skills were then put to the test when your lab partner gushed to you about why they missed the day before. A college tour.

The teacher walks in and everybody has a seat and new notes on the new lesson were taken.

Edward walked to the spot you two always sit, in the back of the library but you walked in another direction.

You needed time to think. You sat by yourself as you stuck your headphones in and listened to music quietly.

You felt a hand touch your shoulder.

Taking them out, you look up to find Edward.

“Study hall is over.”

You rise and he actually waits as you gather your things.

“Kind of sucks you are a year below me. You have more time to figure things out, if you haven’t already.” you say. A small grin appears on his face, “What makes you think I might have things figured out?”

You take a quick look at him as you both walk in the halls, “You just look it.”

“Look it?”

“Yeah. Like…You have yourself together.”

“Like I have myself together.” he mused.

“Correct.”

“What else do I look like?”

You chuckle a bit, “You just…I don’t know you just seem mature. Especially for your age.”

“I’m mature for my age?”

“Are you just gonna repeat everything I say?” you ask with a smile.

“Maybe..” he says and the brunette that you have seen around, looks in both of your direction. She prolongs her eye contact before books slide out of her hands.

You watch as a boy eagerly picks them up. You look to see that Edward was watching the scene unfold right with you.

You then continue walking.

“She’s not my friend.”

That’s what played in your head. You don’t know why it stuck out to you but it kept replaying as you ate your lunch.

“I wonder if he’s lying.” you thought in your head but you then wondered why you even cared if he was or not. It’s not like you liked him or anything. You just thought he had a good looking face.

“Is Edward Cullen dating Bella Swan?” you couldn’t help but blurt out at the table.

A girl next to you looks at you with a snigger, “As if. I’m surprised a Cullen is even talking to you.”

“Why?” you ask.

“They talk to no one. They would be freaks if they were ugly. That’s what makes them so interesting. Rich, smart, good looking, good family, but they never talked to anyone here.”

“Edward talked to Bella.” you point out.

“Yeah for like a second. Then, it went back to him being to himself.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She almost got crushed by some van and apparently he was there beside her when it happened.”

So, that’s why they were both at the hospital. That’s why the nurses commented on it being hectic that day.

“Huh.” you replied in thought.

“Yup. Some kid named Tyler who couldn’t control his own van. The van was skidding down ice and everything. She’s so lucky she didn’t get crushed. The paramedics came and everything.”

“Wow. I came right after all of the excitement.” you comment and laughs circled around the table.

You felt a nudge after you walked out of the cafeteria.

You look and display a grin.

“Hey, Alice.”

“Hey, you.” she says and she’s skipping at your side, linking her arm with yours.

“Wanna come over after school?”

You sigh a bit, “I really wish I could. I got a lot of work to do.”

“You do? It was a pretty relaxed day, at least for me.” she says.

It felt like she caught you in a lie.

“It-Its not homework. Honestly..Can I be honest?” you ask. She nods as she encouraged you. You wanted to say what was on your mind but you couldn’t form the words. You opted for something else instead.

“I don’t think I can come over today. I have to start researching for schools. I don’t feel like hearing another lecture.” you say in a tone that screamed pity.

She smiles a bit, “Why don’t we do so together? I might need ideas.”

“Darn you.” you say with a slight point, “Why do you have to have an answer for anything?”

She laughs as Jasper says hello to you. You both walk into the classroom together after you greet him back.

In your last class of the day, you let your parent know that you won’t be needing a ride home.

Edward was there when you came out of the classroom. You nod a greeting.

“Alice told me you’re coming over.” he says as you both walk to your locker.

“Yeah.”

“What changed your mind?”

You open your locker and don’t say anything.

“She asked me. We are researching schools together.”

He snorts. You look at him.

“Alice had her school picked out since forever.”

“So she lied?” you deadpanned.

“I wouldn’t say she lied. You said you wanted to research schools. She offered to do so together. She can still research schools with you even with her own picked out.”

You shrug on your coat and your coat is zipped up from him. He opens his hand. You look at it. You watch as it moves towards your backpack and he eventually holds it in his hand.

You place your hands in your pocket.

“You never wear one.” you observed.

He doesn’t say anything.

Sitting at the family computer, you were bored. You were more interested in Alice’s conversation than the descriptions of what a school was offering on the big screen.

“Fashion?”

She nods.

“You’re so lucky your parents are letting you major in that.” you say.

Her eyebrows furrowed a bit, “You have your music.”

“Yeah but..” you then shake your head, “Not to go get a degree for. I’ve been told, it’s pretty much useless.”

“Nonsense!” she says.

“Exactly.” you sigh out.

“She can’t take lessons anymore.” you hear Edward’s voice speaks out.

“What?!”

You giggle at her outburst.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.” she says.

“You weren’t the one who took it away from me. I will be okay.” you say.

Jasper comes into the computer room, peeking his head in.

“Alice are you ready?”

“Coming.” she says and turns back to you and gives you a quick hug before following him out.

“Where are you going?” you ask.

“We’re visiting a..Family member. Edward..Are you coming?”

You watch him shake his head.

“See you.” Alice says and grabs Jasper’s hand.

The room was silent and you scroll a bit before looking at Edward who was watching you.

“Why didn’t you go?” you ask.

“Didn’t want to.” he says. You nod and look back at the screen.

“You said you wanted to hear me play.” he says.

“Uh huh.” you say.

“Come on.” he says and you see that he’s leaving out. You exit out of the browser and follow him.

He pats the spot next to him on the bench. You sit as you concentrate on his fingers.

It was like an orgasm for your ears. Your eyes were stuck to his fingers. His fingers moved with such speed and precision. The music that produced from him and his piano was the most loveliest sound that your ears had ever heard.

When the song was over, he played around with some notes. It reminded you of a hotel lobby.

“I’m not ready at all.” you whisper.

“What?” he asks with a small chuckle.

“There’s definitely going to be people who play like that.”

“I doubt it.” he quietly but confidently says.

You don’t say anything and you press on the weighted key with one finger.

“Do you want me to teach you that song?” he asks.

You look at him with wide eyes.

“What song?” you ask. He chuckles again.

“The song I just played.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It is a competition. It’s about being the best.” he says.

You shrug a bit.

“When’s the deadline?”

“Next month.”

He nods, “Okay. That should give us enough time.”

“I didn’t say yes.”

“But you want to.”

You retract your hand from the keys.

“How did you get so good?” you question.

“Years and years of practice.”

“You…Not to give you a big head, but you play very good. Like, better than some composers I’ve heard.”

He smiles as he looked at the keys.

“You let me teach you, you’ll win. What’s the prize? Money? Scholarship? What?”

“Money but, I don’t really care about it. I just wanted to be able to have the experience of winning something like that…I want to be able to say, well hopefully say, ‘I won that.’” you admit. He doesn’t say anything but you can tell he soaked in your words. You look away from his gaze.

“You do that a lot.”

“Do what?” you ask and glide your finger across the keys one time.

“You don’t like looking at me.” he says.

You pause your movements.

“What do you mean?” you ask quietly.

“I mean that you don’t like looking at me. You look away from me all the time.”

You shrug, “I’ve never noticed.”

“You’re not even looking at me now.”

You breathe of a small laugh but you still don’t meet his eyes.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t like looking at you.”

“Do you like looking at me?”

“I don’t…Know.” you answer honestly.

“I like looking at you when I’m talking to you.”

You don’t say anything. You instead shift a bit in your bench. You slowly look to him and his expression is warm but he took in your face. His eyes moved about subtly as you both blinked at each other.

You look away with a small but breathy chuckle.

“You did it again.” he says.

“We didn’t talk.” you reply.

“We’re talking right now.”

“You’re intense..” you comment.

“Is that bad?”

“I don’t know.” you answer honestly.

He taught you the beginning part. He made you do it over and over and advised you to practice when you got home. It definitely was a challenge.

“Thank you teacher Edward.” you joke.

He zipped your coat up and smiled, “You’re a very good student.”

You walk out of his house and you look to him, “You zip my coat up but you never thought to zip yours up?”

“I’m not cold.”

“Edward, are you sick in the head or something?”

He laughs. Laughs as if it was a joke made by a comedian.

He opens the car door up and you sit in the car.

He drops you off and before you get out, “Can I pick you up tomorrow?”

Your backpack is in your lap and you say, “It’s fine. You and your siblings have been good to me. I won’t ask you to do too much.”

“It’s not too much on my part, Y/N.” he says and the look on his face was sincere. You just nod.

Over dinner, you had to explain yourself.

“We were studying.”

“Did you study for schools?”

You groan as you set your fork down.

“Yes. I did.”

“Okay. What school?”

“I want to major in music.”

Their own fork clatters as they look at you.

“Y/N. We are not having this talk again.”

“It’s my passion.” you say.

“I know that-“

“Do you? I don’t want to work a job where I’m unhappy.” you say as you poke at your food.

“I don’t think you should hang around that boy anymore.”

“Really?” you ask.

“It’s like you’re distracted.”

“How? My homework’s done, I’m doing what you’re asking, please don’t strip my entire life from me.”

They don’t say anything.

You worked your fingers with your keyboard with your headphones plugged in.

Newfound determination came out as you practiced.

So that’s how it went.

He would pick you up from school, walk you to your classes, you would look up in science as you worked with your lab partner and catch him staring, and he would walk you to his car after school.

You both worked together on the song he was teaching you. He was mature with his criticism. It felt like you were in an actual lesson and he was an actual teacher. He knew his stuff.

You felt yourself improve each day. Your time at the Cullens lengthened to the point, you wondered how come you never seen them eat dinner.

The sky was darkened, mostly due to the ending of daylight savings time and you sat quiet in the passenger seat.

“What’s wrong?”

You look to him focused on the road and you shake your head, “Nothing’s wrong.”

“You haven’t said anything since we left my house.” he says.

“Just…I’m just…Do you and your family eat?” you blurt out.

You watch as his lip curled up in amusement.

“Yes. We eat.”

“You guys must eat really late.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your favorite food?” you ask.

“You wouldn’t like it…I’m a vegetarian.”

You eyed him but didn’t say anything else.

You reach for the door but he calls your name.

“Yeah?” you answer.

He’s hesitant, but he forces it out, “Next week, after we record your solo, can I take you to dinner?”’

“As…Friends?” you ask.

“Whatever you want.”

“I’ll think about it.” you say with a smile. He formed his own as he watched you walk inside your home.

It was surprising. You dreamed about playing the piano. You dreamed about playing the piano with Edward.

You yawned a little as you felt him put an arm around you as you both walked the halls.

“You didn’t get sleep?”

“Not really.” you say quietly and looked at his limp hand that was attached to the arm that was around you.

At lunch, the question was dropped like a bomb.

“Are you and Edward dating?”

“No. We’re just friends.” you say casually as you bit into your lunch.

Giggles circled and you furrowed your eyebrows, “What?”

It was a study hall day, you and Edward sat really close to each other in the back of the library.

“People are thinking we are dating.” you say with a straight face.

He slowly grinned.

“I heard that too.” he says.

“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to make our friendship weird. I really appreciate all that you’re doing for me. Same with Alice and everyone else.” you say.

“So, have you thought about what I asked you?” he asks and you look down from his eyes.

“Um..Not really. I’ve been too tired…To really think.” you say.

“If you don’t want to, just say no.” he says.

“When I say I don’t know, it means I’m not sure if I want to or not.”

“What makes you so unsure?”

You just stare at your hands.

“Why did you give me that song out of all songs?” you ask, changing the subject.

He notices but goes along with it, “It reminds me of you. It fits you.”

“Whatever that means.” you say with a slight chuckle.

“It’s true.” he answered.

The week went by fast. Too fast.

It was the weekend. He waited outside of your home as you got into his car on an early afternoon.

You aimed the camera at you as it stood up tall on the camera stand.

You wring your fingers a bit before looking at him. His hands are in his pockets as he looked at you.

“I’m..Kinda nervous. This never happened before.” you admit.

“Just pretend you’re in your room by yourself.”

You nod and walk to the piano.

He stands by, ready to hit record.

You roll your shoulder back before positioning yourself and gave him a slight nod to let him know that you were ready.

He gave you a small thumbs up and you play with determination.

You surprised yourself as you owned the keys on the grand piano. You were thankful that he let you use his. The weighted keys were pressed down as the musical sounds filled the room. Your eyes followed your fingers and you were focused. The nervousness that you felt earlier rolled off of you by each second.

When you were finished, you look up to see a small smile and a small clap.

“You hit it right on the nose.”

“Thanks.” you say as you scratch the back of your neck.

Nothing was said as you scooted off of the bench and walk to the camera that was currently in his hands.

“I thought about it.” you say. He meets your eyes.

“Thought about what?”

“We can…Sit down for dinner. Thank you for letting me use your piano.”

“I told you, you were free to use it.” he says but his smile didn’t fade as he broke down the camera stand.

You nod and sit on the sofa as you watch the video of you.

“Are you proud of yourself?” he asks.

A small smile formed, “Yes.”

The rest of the Cullens made conversation with you as you lounged in their home.

You found out that they had traveled to different cities. They had great stories to tell.

You noticed they all had the same eye color. Questions ran deep.

Edward reached and opened the door for you as you walk in.

“Table for two.” he holds up two fingers.

You stare at his glass of water, untouched.

“This smells really good.” you say as the waiter sets your plate down. “Are you sure you’re not ordering anything?” you ask.

“I’m okay. I ate a big breakfast.”

As you chewed slowly, you began to think.

You swallow.

“Edward…Do you…Have an eating disorder?” you ask quietly.

“No.” he says with a smile. A bit of relief forms in you but you’re still confused.

“I’ve been with you almost all day and not once have I seen you eat. Or your family.”

“We just…Have a special diet is all. But really, I’m okay. I ate right before I picked you up.”

You nod.

Valentine’s day rolled around. People walked the halls with small teddy bears and candy from their own relationships.

You open your locker with your coat in hand.

The teddy bear was as big as the space in your locker. You look to Edward. He looks to you.

“This from you?” you ask. He nods.

You hold it up with two hands. The smile stretched across your face.

You set it back in your locker. You hug him. He hugged you back.

“You shouldn’t have.” you say to him with a grin.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes. I love it. Thank you.” you say. Your eyes then look about and you see people are walking past and staring.

���Is there something on me?” you ask in a whisper. You don’t remember dropping toothpaste on your clothes that morning.

“No.” he says with a slight chuckle.

You close your locker after making sure the bear was safe.

“Then, why are people staring?” you ask in another whisper.

You both start to walk and he puts his hand around your back and places his hand on your arm to pull you close, “They’re just curious. You have nothing to worry about.”

A dance was coming up in May.

You had no plans of going. That’s all your lunch table talked about.

“It’s girls ask guys. Are you asking Edward?”

“No. I don’t even want to go.”

“What?!” the entire table asks.

You shrug.

“You’re just going to do nothing but sit in your room?”

“Whatever.” you say as you playfully roll your eyes.

“We have no lessons today.” you say as Edward wasn’t going in the direction of your home.

“I know.” he says. You sit back in your seat.

You sat next to him on his couch in your room after you both finished homework.

“You don’t have a bed?” you ask as you noticed something missing.

He looked around.

You looked around with him.

“Are you going to the dance?” he asks changing the subject.

You look to him and shake your head.

“Why not?” he genuinely asks. You shrug, “We’re just going to be seeing the same people that we see everyday but just in different clothes.”

He chuckles at that.

“It’s your high school experience.”

“If you want me to ask you, just say that.” you say with a grin.

The look that displayed on his face make your heart thump, making you almost retract your statement due to nervousness.

“I want you to ask me.”

“Do we…Go as friends?” you ask.

“We could.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

He gets up and holds out his hands.

You eyed him as you get up as well, placing your hands in his cool ones.

“Does it bother you that your hands are cold?” you ask.

He shakes his head, “I’m used to it.”

His thumbs brush the back of your hands that made you let out a small breath, you look up to him. He was looking down at your hands but slowly looks up into your eyes.

Soon, he keeps one of your hands in his and placed one of his hands on your back.

“What are you doing?” you ask as you grinned.

He twirled you as if you both had done this time and time again.

“We should practice.”

You both slow danced and you both were amused.

He gave you a hug when you were about to unlock your front door.

“You should get in your car. You will get sick.”

“I’ll be okay.” he says near your neck.

Weeks rolled by slowly. Your dreams were consisting of more and more of Edward. You seen him basically everyday. Even on weekends.

You sat up late in the night. Your heart thudded.

You dreamed that you both kissed. Your mind was distracted.

You stopped raising your hand in class. It was as if he infected your mind to only think of him.

The teachers took notice.

At lunch, your friends invite you to Port Angeles for clothes shopping for the dance.

As you waited for one friend to get out of the dressing room, you thought about changing your mind.

It was to the point where your heart started to race when you were near him. Even when you thought of him.

Your first acceptance letter that came in the mail made your parent let off of your back.

“See? This is a great school too.” they say with a pat on your back. You nod.

You received an email. Stating that you won. You blinked at it.

You gasp and run to your parent.

“I won!”

“Won what? A scholarship?” they ask.

“No. The piano competition. I won.”

“Oh. That’s nice.” they say.

“I’m getting a check in the mail soon.”

“Good. You can put it towards your schooling to get the things that you need.” they start to stay on that topic. You tuned them out.

You nervously pace as you clicked on his contact. One ring.

“Hello?”

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” you just say.

“You’re welcome….What did I do?”

“I won.” you say with a smile. He congratulated you, telling you that he knew you had it in you.

“I’m not coming to school tomorrow.” he tells you.

“Oh. Why?”

“Family emergency. I’ll see you after though.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

It was like you were in a daze. The entire family did not show up. The teacher’s words morphed together. It was as if you were in a time warp.

You hugged the large teddy bear that he had given you when you got home. You didn’t know if you were going crazy but it freshly smelled like him. The bear rested right under your nose.

The weekend came and he calls you.

“I want to take you somewhere.”

“Okay.” you tell him.

The meadow was beautiful. You had to tell yourself to breathe. You felt his cool hand interlaced with yours and you let him tug you.

“How do you find something like this?” you ask.

“I like to explore.” he says quietly.

He pulled you to him as he took both of your hands. He looked down at you.

He brings you in closer with both arms around your shoulders, you look up to him.

“I have to tell you something.” he says quietly. You nod.

His gaze burns into yours, “I don’t want to go to the dance as friends.”

“That’s okay…I didn’t really want to go anyway.” you say. He chuckles softly before shaking his head. He then straighten out his facial expression.

“I still want to go with you. Together.” he confirmed.

“As in…?”

He only blinked as he peered down at you. You look away as you notice that you two were in a tight embrace.

The next day, he knocked on your door.

You let him in with a grin.

You both hug. You then take his hand and your parent allowed you to go with him and his family to play baseball.

“Isn’t it going to rain?” they ask him as Edward zipped your coat up.

“We’re trying to stick a game in before it does.” he answered. He takes your hand and you’re following him to his car.

In the clearing area, the sounds of thunder was from the sky.

Alice grins, “It’s time.”

You thought that you were dreaming. There was just no way an average person could leap that high or run that fast. You had no words. You were very impressed and entertained.

The soft drizzle of rain dropped down as Alice threw the ball with a fast whizz. You heard thunder but instead of quick flashes of lightening strikes, you look up in the sky and see Edward and Emmett slam into each other. They’re on the ground laughing.

Alice throws, Rosalie is at the plate and cracks the ball with the bat. Once again, the loud struck of thunder surrounds the field but you knew it came from them.

“Y-you’re out.” you tell Rosalie. She gets up and whispered, “You could’ve let me slide with that one.”

“Cheating! You’re out!” Emmett says with a joyous grin. She flashed him an annoyed look.

“It’s just a game, babe!” he says.

You shrug with a soft smile as you help her brush the dirt off of her pants.

Jasper steps to the plate next and flips his bat impressively. Alice throws the ball and Jasper hits it and you watch as her eyes suddenly grow big.

Alice yells a time out that captured everyone’s attention. Before you knew it, your arm was grabbed by Edward as the family circled around you. It was as if they were hiding you.

“Let’s go.” Edward says to you.

“It’s too late. They were leaving when they heard us.” Alice whispered in slight panic.

You heard Alice hiss out in a whisper, “Cover Y/N’s scent.”

“Scent?” you wondered in your mind.

“You’re okay. Just stay quiet, okay?” he whispered to you, to calm you down. You nod slowly.

You look up to Edward looking at you out of the corner of his eye as he glued his hand into yours. You look down, his foot taps a steady rhythm. You wondered why he did it.

You hear Carlisle speak.

“Thank you.”

You peek and see three figures standing in front of the Cullens.

“I’m Laurent, this is Victoria and this is James.”

“I’m Carlisle and this is my family.” Carlisle says as gestures with his hands.

Laurent greets everyone.

You watch as Edward glared at someone. You didn’t want to look who it was.

“So…Could you use more players?”

There was hesitance and Laurent smiles, “Just one game.” he says with one finger up.

“Oh, alright. A few of us were leaving so you can take their spot.” Carlisle says and throws the ball back to Laurent. The girl however, Victoria, caught it with such insane reflex, you held back a gasp.

Slowly, Edward tugs you away. The family moved with his movements. Carlisle kept them talking. The rain started to pour more heavily.

Edward practically threw you in the car and he was already starting the engine before you could click your seatbelt in. You watch as the others form into a game.

He drives in silence.

“I shouldn’t have brought you here. I’m sorry.”

You do nothing but stare at him.

He dropped you back off at home.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” he says again as the rain poured down behind him. You both stood in front of the front door.

“We have to talk.”

“Okay.” he says with a nod.

You give him one last look before shutting the door behind you. The rain poured much heavier. You stare out of the window.

Hours went by. Your phone rings. You answer.

“Do you want to talk?”

You watch your wall, “Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Just tell me the truth Edward…Your family are like…Superheroes or something. They jump really high, run really fast, super fast reflexes, and you all have the same eye color. Those people..In the field, their eyes were red.”

There was silence before he spoke again, “You’re right.”

“What are you?” you ask. You felt like crying. It felt scary in a way.

“I don’t want to tell you over the phone. I want to see you when I tell you.” he whispered.

You set the phone down and cover your eyes with your hand.

“Y/N? Are you there?”

“Yes.” you say after you pick your phone back up.

He doesn’t say anything else.

“Edward….We can’t see each other anymore.” you say softly.

“Y/N..I promise to tell you everything…Just not now. Please?”

“How long do you want me to wait? I just want the truth. I’ve been truthful to you.”

“You have. I just don’t want to mess this up…Us up..I really like you.”

“I like you too….But..I’m afraid all things that we like might not be good for us.”

“Y/N.” he begged.

His tone made you breathe in.

“What did Alice mean by my scent? Why were you hiding me from the red eyed people? Are they dangerous?”

“Yes. They’re very dangerous. Your scent would’ve enticed them.”

“What does that mean?” you ask softly, trying to gain understanding.

He lets out a frustrated sigh, “I want to tell you everything in person.”

“But we will be at school. Our time will be limited.”

“Can I come over?”

“What?” you ask as you never snuck in a boy before. It was almost midnight.

“I’ll sneak through your window. I won’t make a sound. I will answer everything truthfully. I promise. I…Just don’t want us to be apart.”

You think for a moment. You wondered what could go wrong. He’s patient on the line. As long as you’re on the line, he was okay.

“You promise you will answer everything?” you ask.

“Cross my heart, hope to die.”

The statement made you chuckle a bit before he joins you.

You hang up with your head spinning. In a way, you thought back to things and how things used to be. You didn’t know if things were ever going to be the same. You were a bit scared of the soon to be answers to your soon to be questions. Not knowing what to expect, you just unlock your window without opening it. You then have a seat on your bed and hug the teddy bear that he had given you tight to your chest.

[kaytheday]

Ace Head Canons nobody asked for because I’m thinking about her again: 

She really likes suckers and gum. It’s the number one thing she’s stealing from the DX anytime they go in to bother Steve and Soda. While Dallas is stealing Winston Cigarettes, Ace is stuffing pink sticks of bubblegum and red cherry suckers in her pockets. And she loves the bubblegum machines that sit in the lobby of nearly every restaurant. Every time they go out to eat, you know she is begging Soda, Steve, Two-Bit, or even Dallas for a nickel to put in that machine. 

“Come on Two-Bit, you gotta have a nickel on you! Don’t hold back! You know, I’ll be less likely to talk if I’m chewin’ gum!” So much begging, sometimes Dallas relents. 

“I gotta nickel you can have, just shut up your whining kid.”

She has one birthday where Steve and Sodapop thought about trying to buy her one of the bubblegum machines. It ended up being too expensive so they recruited Two-Bit and Dallas to help them steal the one in Morty’s bar house and grill. They pulled it off and they gave it to her. (It was the best gift she has received to this day)

She also really likes candy canes around Christmas and those candy cigarettes you get at corner stores. 

Ace also really likes music. Currently (near the events of the musical) she is really into Etta James and her mother’s old Nina Simone records but the reason she fell in love with music was originally because of Billie Holiday. 

As a kid, her mom had one of the original singles of ‘Strange Fruit’ from 1939. It was one of the only things she had left of her mom. (That record and an old pack of cigarettes)

She couldn’t bear to listen to it, but one day she finally did. She cried the first time. She was all of eleven and at this point she knew that greasers shouldn’t cry. But she had learned about the way her dad died recently and her moms notes in the record sleeve didn’t help much at all. 

Since that moment, she was set on finding every Billie Holiday record she could. It would have been pretty hard since Billie died in 1959 and many of her records were banned in more conservative communities. Another reason Ace likes her. 

In her obsession, she turned Johnny on to Billie Holiday. It was one of those nights when Johnny couldn’t stay at home, he felt he was overstaying his welcome at the Curtis home, and god only knows what Dallas was getting up to. She convinced Johnny to come home with her and Steve to their aunt's house. 

Ace turned on a Billie Holiday record and Steve started making fun of her but Johnny just listened and commented quietly. 

“I really like the song Ace. She sounds tuff.” Ace simply stuck her tongue out at Steve and turned back to Johnny. 

“Thanks Johnny, you know my momma liked her too?” Now, Johnny and Ace share a love of Billie Holiday. 

Dallas Winston became a sort of older brother for Ace growing up. Most of the gang were but she knew for a fact that Dallas would actually kill someone for her. 

She can remember one time after a Saturday night out when some guys started a fight with their little gang. One of the guys who was hitting her spat out a slur and Dallas went off on him. She’d never seen him so angry. He pulled the guy off of her, cussed him out, and kicked him so hard that his skull cracked open. At least, that’s what she heard from some of the guy's friends the next week. 

It was at that moment, she knew that Dallas Winston was always gonna have her back. 

Just like Dallas will call Johnny and Ponyboy ‘brother’ he’ll call Ace ‘sister’. Like… all the time. 

“What’s goin’ on sistah?” Then he’ll sling an arm around her shoulders and pat her head. “You stayin’ out of trouble Ace kid?” 

Also I’m like 99% sure there was a scene with Ace similar to the instance where Dallas told Johnny and Pony that ‘you guys are like my brothers, like we are in war or something. I’d die for you.’ There has been an instance where he tells Ace the same thing. (Maybe I’ll write that fic one day)  

She won’t tell anyone, but her favorite spot in all of Tulsa is an old Juke Joint on the outskirts of town that Two-Bit told her about. Two-Bit was a regular, not necessarily going for the music but for the booze. 

Ace likes to go for the music though. One of her favorite instruments in jazz is the trumpet, she likes it when they play it so loud that it makes that shrill vibrato sound. Ace made quick friends with Rosalind who was the bartender and head chef of the Double Deuce. (The Double Deuce was a real Juke Joint in Tulsa, let me know if you want the sources.) 

Sometimes Rosalind will slip her cokes in those old whiskey glasses while Ace is at the counter swaying to the music. Rosalind also knows Two-Bit (and Dallas) and she was happy to learn that Two-Bit had some actual good friends. 

Ace just really likes music and dancing. Two-Bit is her favorite person to dance with other than her brother Steve. He was the first one in the gang that made her feel safe and he is one of the only ones who takes the time and actually likes to dance with her. 

The Double Deuce Juke Joint is her favorite place in all of Tulsa because it is one of the only places where she can let out all those feelings. She can dance as wild and free as she feels on the inside most of the time.

I'll probably do another set of these because I love Ace and have so many thoughts about her and her lore. Thanks for reading!

[milkoomi]

⋆˚࿔ a new canvas means a new you 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

a mini series on the art of becoming a better you

previous chapters + masterlist

final chapter — THE ART OF OVERCOMING

i know there’s a lot of us who struggle with anxiety or fear or even the anxiety of experiencing failure. there’s so much in our lives that we worry about, and there’s this feeling of struggle that we have from it that makes it feel like it’s impossible to overcome any hardships we come across. but the truth is: we can overcome the hardships. we can overcome anxiety, fear, stress, failure; everything that life has to throw at us, we can overcome it!

ᥫ᭡. understand your emotions

a lot of those “i can’t do it” moments stem from us not understanding why or how we’re feeling the way we do. it’s important to understand what you’re feeling and reflecting on those emotions or thoughts. when we experience stress or anxiety, our minds are filled to the brim with overwhelming thoughts that are just spinning and mixing around in our heads. that feeling makes it even harder to really think about things logically and to even understand an ounce of what we’re feeling.

let it out.

let out your frustrations, in a healthy manner of course! if you feel like crying, do it! just let it out. even if you’re just brain dumping into your journal, it allows you to spill all the thoughts that are running around in your mind out. release your thoughts and emotions.

take time to reflect.

journaling is an on-going topic within this community on tumblr and on my page, but it’s talked about so much because it’s one of those things that really works and shows actual growth within ourselves! so take the time to write down everything that you’re feeling, let yourself process your emotions that overwhelm you!

consider the “why” when it comes to your emotions.

why are you feeling anxious? why are feeling scared? why are you feeling stressed out? it’s important to figure out why exactly you’re feeling the way you are because without that understanding, it can lead to even more negative thoughts and emotions.

once you understand why, then consider going back to the reflection bit. just take as much time as you need to process your thoughts and feelings!

ᥫ᭡. reassurance

remind yourself that it’s going to be okay! i believe i mentioned this in one of the previous chapters or in one of my other posts, but you have gotten through 100% of all your worst days, so who says you can’t get through one more? you will get through whatever situation it is that you might be going through! it’s so important to give yourself that reassurance.

also, it’s absolutely okay to ask for reassurance from others! being reminded by the people who love and care for you that things are going to be okay can be such a calming feeling. it’s okay to ask for reassurance, we all need it from time to time!

getting this reassurance just puts our minds at ease and, at least in my own experience, it has given me motivation to work through whatever it was that i was dealing with. having reassurance shouldn’t feel burdensome, it should feel relieving!

ᥫ᭡. juno’s rules

i, personally, like to follow a small set of rules when it comes to overcoming something like anxiety about starting a new semester or stress from financial hardships or fears of creating new relationships with people:

rule 1: believe that you can overcome the feeling

there’s a lot of people who manifest, me included, and we see a lot from different posts/sources about manifestation that we have to believe that what we want is already ours. so use that same idea and believe that you can or already have overcome whatever it is you’re going through!

when we put ourselves in that mindset of believing we can’t do it, the more and more we’ll manifest that whatever it is we’re struggling with will only continue to make us struggle. you have to believe that you can overcome the situation/issue/feeling, otherwise those negative thoughts will overpower your want and need to relieve yourself from the stress.

rule 2: have a support system

we can’t always do things on our own, sometimes we need that extra help, and that is okay! i mentioned this earlier, but seriously, asking for help/reassurance is 100% okay. you should ask for help especially when you need it!

your support system could include your family, friends, mentors/teachers, partner(s), and/or a therapist! there are people willing to help you or even just be there for you to lend you their support!

rule 3: take action

when we become overwhelmed by a situation that we know we need to overcome, sometimes we’ll reach a point where we might feel stuck. it’ll sometimes feel like we’ve given up as a whole, and we have to stop having that kind of mindset!

if you’re stressing about an upcoming exam, take action by putting in the work to study and review notes or reach out to your teachers/professors/peers for extra help!

if you’re stressing about talking to a loved one about setting boundaries, take action by writing everything you want to say and gathering all your thoughts together to get your mind situated and more organized!

whatever it is that’s causing you to feel negative emotions like stress, anxiety, or fear, take steps towards relieving that feeling! sometimes taking action may be practicing more self care or changing your lifestyle or even breaking bad habits! whatever it is, you have to be willing to take action and you have to remember who you’re doing this for: yourself.

ᥫ᭡. final notes

it’s important to remember that overcoming something, whatever it may be, is for the betterment of ourselves. i talk a lot about self care on my blog and i will always advocate for that! whatever it is that’s bringing us down or adding a lot of stress in our minds, we have to be able to overcome those obstacles or feelings! getting ourselves to work through challenging situations or difficult emotions is the best form of self care and it allows us to grow even more as individuals! there’s so much strength in putting in the work to overcome something and there’s even more strength we gain from doing so! self improvement and becoming that girl/person can become easier when we learn to overcome what life has to throw at us. life isn’t easy and i know a lot of us can attest to that, but life also has a very special way of showing us what it’s like to live our lives to the fullest.

with lots of love, juno 🌷