#….. although i think i might’ve posted a snippet or something at some point

[sugarsnappeases]

thinking about sybill and how violating it must be to have a mind that - plagued as it is by visions of the future, other people’s futures, often people that she doesn’t even know and maybe never will know - can never truly belong to her. how violating it must be to have the very inner depths of her mind be filled with rivers of other people’s fates, the beginnings and the ends, endless tangling strings of people’s lives pressing through her mind, the constant lack of privacy, lack of self-definition in the very place which should really be the most private, the place where the self should be defined most clearly

also thinking about barty and the violation of the imperius curse. you guys get it. you see it. i don’t have to say it. you understand.

[logicalbookthief]

Things Left Unsaid -- An Analysis of Rei & Touya

Apparently Rei has been getting a lot of flack lately, all of it undeserved, and since I had a post analyzing her relationship with Touya in the works already, I figured no time like the present.

Disclaimer #1: There are a lot of issues with the writing for Rei’s character that have nothing to do with her and everything to do with how the storyline is using her, which I will address and examine.

Disclaimer #2: I��m someone who, while always curious as to what kind of relationship Rei had with her oldest son before he died, never thought it would be revealed that Touya was close to his mom. I don’t think you get the Dabi we see in Chapters 290-295 without him being so warped by his relationship with his father yet so dependent on his attention that he was willing to kill his brother and himself simply for his father’s acknowledgement.

But that’s what I find so interesting about Rei and Touya -- it’s a relationship that mainly consists of regrets and things left unsaid. There isn’t the anger or resentment Dabi feels for Endeavor, because that intense level of emotion sprung from the loss of the father who used to be his whole world. His feelings toward his mother seem more amicable, but also more distant.

And while she could’ve done some things differently in regards to her oldest, I want to make it clear that the distance between them was very much by design.

After all, Touya was the end goal of their marriage. It was never any secret as to why Enji wanted to marry her and to some extent Rei must’ve realized that this child was not meant to be hers: the child was the transaction, the thing she was needed to create, to give to her husband. Of course she loved Touya and was likely his primary caregiver for most of his life, but there was no doubt that once his quirk manifested and he could begin his hero training, his life would be dominated by his father. Which is what happened.

Here, I would like to point out something I noticed in the flashback chapters. We never see any panels of Enji alone with any of his children during their infancy -- even with Shouto, the perfect child he longed for, we see Rei holding Shouto, sitting by him as he sleeps. Enji is there tangentially. Once Shouto begins his training, that is when we see him with his father.

So to see Enji with Touya when he was a baby, prior to his quirk manifesting, strikes me as a big deal. But it makes sense if you remember that he’d placed all his hopes, dreams and expectations on his firstborn. Initially, it doesn’t look like he even considered the possibility that Touya wouldn’t be his successor or that his little eugenics experiment would fail; this was his first, most optimistic attempt at a masterpiece. So I don’t believe it’s far-fetched to see him spend more time with Touya right off the bat (it’s what will make the eventual abandonment all the more crushing).

However, Rei isn’t seen at all in the snippet of Touya’s infancy, despite us knowing she was relegated to the caregiver role. Rei is literally out of the picture. Compare this to how she features prominently in Shouto’s infancy or how we see her holding a baby Natsuo. You could argue that, hey, we don’t see her holding a baby Fuyumi either, but there’s other scenes where Fuyumi’s attached to her mother’s hip or crying over her being hurt. Things that suggest a closeness, when the only scene we get of just her and Touya is one where they’re at odds. 

As we move further into Touya’s childhood, though, Rei becomes the only voice we hear advocate for him against his father. I’m referencing two specific instances:

When Enji coerces her into having more children to replace Touya now that his father has deemed him a failure, something she knows will hurt their son deeply.

And after Touya lashes out at Shouto, which Rei doesn’t blame on Touya, but rather on his father. She delivers such a satisfying condemnation of his actions, probably the most cutting one Endvr’s received to date, and it so accurately sums up one of his major character flaws.

How can you call yourself a hero when you can’t even face your own son?

The tragedy of it all is that Rei never said any of this in front of Touya -- it was always said in private, just to her husband. That alone took courage, yes, but it would’ve meant everything to Touya to hear her condemn his father aloud. Instead when she does speak to him, she says this:

It’s why I can’t wrap my head around that scene in Ch 302, where after Enji admits he didn’t know what to say to Touya, Rei replies, “Neither did I.” 

When we’re shown in flashbacks during that same chapter that she did understand her son. “He just wants to be acknowledged by you” is quite the indication that she, at the very least, understood the cause of Touya’s turmoil even if she couldn’t fully relate to it herself. So why can’t she say any of this to him?

The answer is in the way she addresses Touya, as it is nearly identical to how Nao addresses Tenko in this scene:

Both Touya and Tenko grew up in similar households: the father had all the power, physical and financial, so the mothers were left to try and comfort their children in a way that didn’t go against their husbands’ desires -- and so, to use Tenko’s own words, they would “reject them with kindness.”

So it’s no wonder that Touya lashes out at his mother after she suggests he pursue other things. He isn’t five like Tenko was, he’s thirteen and has a much clearer understanding of why she says this and why it’s a bit hypocritical, since he’s aware of her situation, too.

Just as she was bound by her family, who wanted her to marry Endvr for the money and status, he’s bound by the expectations of his family. I’m not sure if I’ve seen anyone else touch on this detail, but when Touya states that he knows his grandparents sold his mom into marriage so his dad could have a child, we could infer that Touya knows enough to realize that his mother might not have necessarily wanted him.

Not him specifically, but any child — the story has neglected to flesh her out beyond her marriage and motherhood, so we have no idea if Rei wanted to become a mother prior to this arrangement, despite how much she loves her kids now — although it is possible that he might’ve internalized it this way.

So you have Touya, who at least knows with certainty that his father wanted him to exist, yet he comes to understand that his father only wants him if he can meet a specific set of expectations, and if he cannot, he’ll be discarded. If he can’t surpass All Might, he can’t fulfill his reason for existing and his father will have to replace him. So to have his mother urge him to follow a path other than becoming a hero would mean, to Touya, accepting that he is the mistake he fears he is. Of course he isn’t going to respond well to that.

I don’t like when people try to compare Touya’s reaction in this moment to Shouto’s when Rei tells him he isn’t bound by his father’s blood, using that to paint Shouto as the “good” child and Touya as the “bad” one. They didn’t react differently because of any innate sense of goodness or lack thereof -- they reacted differently because the situations are different.

Telling Shouto that he didn’t have to be like his father comforted Shouto, who only knew his father as the bully who hurt his mom. He associated his father, and his father’s fire, with all of that fear and pain -- and thus, he associated the part of himself that took after his father with those feelings. She wasn’t denying his dream of becoming a hero, only assuring him that when he became a hero it could be whatever kind of hero he chose to be, that he wasn’t doomed to be like his father.

Whereas what she tells Touya sounds a lot like what his father told him, which was to give up on being a hero and pursue other aspirations.

Encouraging Shouto to become his own version of a hero still falls in line with what Endvr ultimately wants, which is for Shouto to be a hero capable of surpassing All Might. Whereas this is what happens when Touya continues to train to do that against his father’s wishes:

This is where the framing begins to bother me and where Rei’s characterization becomes inconsistent. 

So in this scene from Ch 302, we see Enji abusing his wife for “letting” Touya continue to train, punishing her for her “failure” to stop him. Obviously, none of that is Rei’s fault. If anything, Enji would be more responsible for preventing Touya from hurting himself since he’s the reason his son is hurting himself in the first place.

Moreover, the fact that he hits Rei over this sort of muddies the water of an previously-established narrative. Since the Sports Festival arc, we’ve known that Endvr abused his wife because she tried to interfere with Shouto’s training. It got to the point where she was terrified of her husband and it drove her to a breakdown. Why introduce this new aspect to the abuse, when it was already established that a) he was physically abusive and b) his motivations for abusing her were explicit to the audience? 

I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense that a man who hits his wife for one reason could find another reason to do it and justify his actions to himself. And while the scene does portray Endvr in a bad light to show how wrong his actions are, literally draping his figure in shadow, why does it even dare to suggest the idea that Rei was remiss in her duties as a mother? Again, the scene isn’t even necessary, since the narrative has long-since showed the audience that Enji abused his wife. 

By itself, the scene would read as further exploration of how Rei was victimized and how it affected her children. When you look at it with the chapter as a whole, though? Remember, this is the chapter where Rei claims that all of the family shares the blame in what happened to Touya, displacing some of the blame that rightfully rests on Enji. 

But my major gripe with this scene is how it reframes the sole moment we get of Rei and Touya alone. Because we know that Rei understands Touya, based on her confrontations with her husband in Ch 301 & 302. Rather than encourage him to be what he wants or acknowledge that his father is in the wrong, however, her advice falls in line with what Enji wants -- to stop Touya from training. And this comes after a scene where we see Enji beat his wife when she doesn’t stop Touya from training.

With all that in mind, it could potentially be read as Rei trying stop Touya for the sake of protecting herself and the family -- I don’t think it’s coincidence that in the scene where he hits her that we see Shouto, Fuyumi & Natsuo all as witnesses who are very distressed by what’s happening to their mother -- at the cost of Touya’s need to be validated. And if executed well or at least better than it has here, that wouldn’t be a bad choice of narrative per se, and it would fit into the pattern where the households the villains were raised in -- notably Shigaraki, Dabi & Toga -- mimic the society they live in, just on a smaller scale.

Except. Does that sort of narrative make sense based on what we already know about Rei?

Certainly, it is natural to want to protect yourself under physical and/or emotional duress by appeasing your abuser. This sort of complicated dynamic appears in the Shimura family, too. Just like in the house that Kotaro built, the Todoroki family revolves around the desires of the abuser and is dictated by his whims.

I would argue that Nao does give us a well-written example of this narrative. From the beginning, it’s established that she loves Tenko dearly. But in the house her husband built, there’s no room to love her son as he deserves. She prioritizes the feelings of Tenko’s father for the sake of maintaining peace in the household and this is established quickly and plainly.

Early on in the flashback, Kotaro exerts his control over the house, while Nao + her parents look uncomfortable. Despite this, we watch as they comply with his rules, all at the expense of Tenko’s feelings. When she stands up to Kotaro at last, it is not where Tenko can see and already too late. It’s a painful story, full of regret and sadness, but it is consistent from start to end. Nobody feels out-of-character or there to prop up anybody else.

So why doesn’t Rei feel as consistent in this narrative?

Because it doesn’t fit with everything we knew about Rei prior to her abuser’s subpar redemption arc.

The way she interacts with Touya would make sense, if this was how she was portrayed from the start. However, her behavior in Shouto’s flashback -- where she was first introduced -- contrasts what we get in the later Todoroki flashbacks.

Let’s compare this to the scenes in Ch 302. Here, Rei interferes on Shouto’s behalf. She advocates for her son in front of Shouto where he can hear. She stands up to his bully/villain and tries to protect him, while also validating his feelings in the process. Directly after this, Enji hits her, not for failing to comply with his demands, but for defying him. 

It is difficult to reconcile this Rei with the Rei we get in Ch 302. And if you try to find an in-story reason for the inconsistency, the options either do a disservice to Rei or make things even more painful for Touya. But I’m sure most of you have realized that I’m going to suggest a reason for this inconsistency that goes beyond the canon.

Because when Rei was first introduced in the story, Endvr was unequivocally the villain in the Todoroki family, not some misguided patriarch trying to atone for his “past” mistakes. Years later and in the midst of his redemption arc, the narrative seems to be intent on making this man more palatable to readers, and it’s used Rei at every opportunity to prop up his efforts to be better. Often, though, it takes some of the heat off Enji by displacing it onto other family members, most significantly Rei & Touya.

Like, you can literally see the difference in the frame from early in the manga to now:

Ch 39: Endvr trains his five-year-old to the point where he’s throwing up due overextension and being punched by a fully grown adult who is also his father. Rei tries to protect her son and gets slapped by Endvr. All the blames rests squarely on Endvr, who is clearly the aggressor and painted as the villain here.

Ch 302: Endvr hits Rei for not preventing Touya from sneaking out to train, knocking her to the ground. Again, Endvr is clearly the aggressor, but oh this time it’s not driven solely by his selfish desires it’s also cocnern for his son; Rei is the victim but oh she also should have been watching him more closely, and oh well why was Touya going out in the first place, when everyone has told him to stop and he knows his mom will get punished for it?

Honestly, I can understand where some people have mixed feelings over Rei’s character, particularly since the writing has done her such a disservice recently. With that being said, however, it takes a minimum amount of critical thinking to recognize that while you can criticize some choices she made, you cannot hold her to the same standard of accountability as Enji, it’s absurd. The power imbalance was obviously tipped in Endvr’s favor, always.

It is a shame, too, that we can’t have more discussions that don’t turn into some readers (a lot of whom are attempting to make Endvr sound less horrible than he actually was) trying to demonize her. It’s doubly a shame the story itself doesn’t bother to flesh her out as a person, instead using her as a prop, because the complex relationships she has with Touya -- with all her children, really -- has plenty of room for exploration. 

Like, there was no reason to add this new dimension of resentment due to her spouting Enji’s words back at Touya, when there was already a source of tension supported by previous canon -- the neglect the Todoroki kids suffered because Rei couldn’t be the parent they needed, due to her declining mental health and eventual breakdown.

Or, if you want to complicate their dynamic further, why not add something that focuses on Rei and has nothing to do with Enji? We learn in the flashbacks that Rei agreed to the marriage more-or-less to please her family, lamenting that she “intended to smile through it to the end,” essentially admitting that her hope was she could grin and bear it. It is telling that she had this attitude before entering her marriage; evidently, she was raised with the idea that she should be acquiescent to her parents’ whims and not express herself if she was only going to be contrary. Maybe she didn’t know how to deal with Touya’s very expressive, very emotional outbursts as a result. And her inability to respond would be the exact opposite of what Touya was seeking.

Not to mention that Touya died, and for the last decade, Rei was under the impression she had lost her son forever. He died while she was hospitalized, torn up with guilt over what she did to Shouto, only to find out that her other son died in a frankly horrific manner, and she could do nothing. By the time she would’ve found out, it was too late to even try to do anything. I can’t imagine what she must’ve felt in terms of regret alone, plus her grief. And I’m still mad we were robbed of her reaction to Touya being alive, because now suddenly there is a chance to do something, to change what was once written in stone.

Or what about Touya’s feelings for his mother, that have yet to be given much depth? As the oldest and most aware of his existence, it seems like he was the first to truly understand his mother’s situation and I can’t help but wonder: If Touya knew he vessel for his father’s ambition, and his mother was sold into role of creating/caring for him, did he question her love for him? Once he found out one parent’s love was conditional, it wouldn’t be a leap for him to consider it for the other. And yet if that’s true, Dabi doesn’t appear to hold any ill-will towards her for that. He was angry at her hypocrisy, because he knows she should understand, but her words to him didn’t reflect that.

All of that is fascinating and so much better than what we got in canon, so far at least. I’m hoping for them interact in the present at least once before the end of the series, and I think they will, but as to how satisfying a reconciliation it’ll be, I guess we’ll have to wait to see how the Todoroki plotline progresses from here on out.

[obsessedtodeathwithgravityfalls]

Compilation of Michael Rianda’s GF Tweets! (Con.)

A continuation of my first post, this time for questions he answered and fun, behind the scenes snippets.

I said in this reblog that I think the best explanation would be something really dramatic or explosive (like an blown up building as opposed to something like, say, getting poisoned) because the heavier her death is, the guiltier Dipper would be, which I feel like would really highlight their bond for both the current and future pairs of twins. Good to know that Michael supports the thought of coming up with our own ideas!

The rest is under the cut:

This is a great message! People often forget that, even though a story may have more details, if its overall message is told, there’s really no point in wanting to have it reopened.

Love this. Remember, kids - with enough determination, you also might be able to tire a hypersensitive, multibillion dollar corporation into letting you include references and jokes that slightly allude to barely mature content!

Oh gosh, how different would the show have been if Bill appeared in the SEVENTH episode? I really liked how it turned out, because if you think about it, the first half of the show was building up to his first appearance. He’s hinted at throughout season one - the mysterious entity the journal references, in the end credits, within the background - and he’s the height of Gravity Falls’ mysteriousness that the audience had been expecting, seeing as the town’s paranormal activity was only becoming more and more strange as the show went on. Plus, I like the crescendo of antagonists and villains. Starts off with an angry ten year old boy that has the means to paranormal abilities, progresses to a governmental agency that’s been investigating the town for decades, and by the end, the villain is a trillion year old genocidal being that can bend reality to his very will. It wouldn’t be the same if we started with Bill in the beginning.

Wow, I never would’ve thought such a vital piece to the show wasn’t even planned until just before its appearance. If it wasn’t a portal, I wonder what would’ve separated Stan and Ford for thirty years. A secret society? Maybe that was considered and ended up becoming the Society of the Blind Eye.

I love this idea for a road trip episode much better than the one we got. It would be so good for characterization! Sometimes people aren’t aware of the routine they immerse themselves in until they actually go over it. This seems like a great, literal way to explore that idea. As for Wendy’s flaw, I mentioned in the first post that perhaps her chill-factor might be a misconstruing of apathy, which ties into recklessness. Michael shows us a script for a Wendy episode where they tried to crack it, but the plot didn’t work out in the end. I loved that look we got into her character, since the most insight into her we got were small bouts of stress or anger. “I’m stressed, like, 24/7. Have you met my family?!”

AWWWW, SOMEONE ANIMATE THIS

I swear, if any of you fuckers crop out that last tweet and go around with your Nintendo x Gravity Falls crossover fanfiction, I’m going to jump into a bottomless pit and I’m taking you with me.

Alex’s superpower is taking jokes and stereotypes so overused they’re nauseating and increasing that factor so much that it’s actually funny.

Wait, he hasn’t read “those particular ones.” Does the Gravity Falls crew read our AUs?

Time for a look at some other fun things Michael posted!

Picture of Alex, Michael, and Joe Pitt celebrating after Gravity Falls had been greenlit. Joe is intentionally trying to look like a 90′s kid.

Apparently this was supposed to be a joke on Ian Worrel for his birthday. If this was my gift, I think I would spontaneously combust right then and there. 

The Love God might’ve been based off of Michael when he got drunk for an audition to better fit a character. He didn’t get the part, but we got Jake the Dog voicing a grown man in fairy wings, so I say it balances out.

You might’ve already known this if you watched Between the Pines!

Lessons that Michael learned from working on the show. Information from one of the masters himself, use it carefully.

Also, fun fact: Michael wrote Stan’s existential crisis in Bottomless Pit! AND those fun, single frame passages of text that we see in some episodes and shorts.

I was contemplating even including this in here, but what’s done is done. The flames of the DipperxStitch shippers that burn brightly in their souls have already been lit, and there’s nothing I can do about it but spread the message.

That’s about all there is. If you want to have even more fun reading, here’s an AMA from when the show first came out that he did. There’s not much there about the plot since it’s from only a few months after Tourist Trapped came out, but you might still have fun reading it and learn a couple things about some characters, writing, and the people who worked on the show!

And although I tried my best, if I missed anything, please feel free to add it below. Buy gold!

[kim-ruzek]

All The Ways A Heart Can Break

Summary: He remembers all that, and all the moments like that. And that’s why he knows that if he has the chance to make her smile, make her day he’ll always take it, even if it ends like this, even if it ends with her on a date with Roman and him alone, in his apartment, getting drunk, with only his self-hatred and pity to keep him company.

Adam turns up at the theatre, only to see Kim walk in with Roman.

Fix-it for 3x18/19. Very angsty, but it does have a happy ending. Technically has some Roman bashing in!!!

Warnings: angst!!!

Word Count: 16.3k words. (Only the first 2k is here, you'll have to read the rest on AO3, which will be linked both here and at the bottom of this post, due to length!)

Read on AO3

Notes: I hope y'all enjoy!!! This has been a labour of love and I'm so excited to finally share. A special thank you to @justanoffalygirl bc without their reactions to the snippets I sent, I might've given up!

Adam stares at himself in the mirror, the self-doubt and uncertainty he’s feeling staring back at him. There are so many reasons this is a bad idea, so many reasons why he should just get out of these clothes, why he shouldn’t go out, why he should just stay at home and drink his weight in beer.

The probability of this going bad than good is high, that the chance that he’ll be home again within in the hour, his heart torn afresh again, is too much of a possibility that he should just cut the going out part, and just skip to the self-hatred part of the evening.

If he had any sanity, any logic or rationality, he’d listen to that voice that quotes him the statistics, that tells him it gets harder and harder to hear her rejections, and it’s not worth it. But Adam’s team doesn’t affectionately call him a bit of a dumbass for no reason.

It’s not like this is a hasty decision. It’s been days of confusion, of contemplation, of questioning and uncertainty. Days of weighing up the pros and cons, and despite the cons outweighing the pros, this is the conclusion he came to. That he might be getting rejected again, that he may have a rough evening ahead of him, but no matter how high those chances are, the small chance that it’ll go well, that he’ll make Kim smile, make her happy, is worth all the pain he’s chancing.

Adam had been deep in concentration, so focused on the paperwork he was filling out, that when his phone had buzzed with the reminder which set off these chain of events, he had initially thought it was a text, not immediately recognising the difference in tone.

Assuming it had been some random text from his sister, or father, or even Kev seeing if he wants to escape from the monotony of paperwork and make a quick trip to the vending machine, he had picked up his phone, looking at it casually.

He wishes, even now days later, that he had realised it wasn’t a text, that it was a reminder. That he had been prepared in some way for the punch to the gut the reminder caused, the way it didn’t just remind him to make sure his suit was ready, but that it reminded him how much his life has changed since the day he made it, reminded him how much he’s lost since.

Reminded him that his biggest concern isn’t making sure that he doesn’t prove Kim right, that he has to set a reminder so that Kim isn’t right in her statement that he’ll forget to make sure his suit is ready.

Reminded him that in the few months since he made that reminder, he’s lost everything, lost his happiness, lost the future he thought he was going to have, lost his girl.

Reminded him of how he made the reminder with a smug grin, sitting on his bed, listening to Kim list all the examples of times he forgot to prep his clothing from the bathroom. Reminded him of how he pictured this going, of him getting his suit ready, of her realising he had, of the smug playful way he was going to wrap her up in his arms, trailing her skin with barely-there touches in the way that he knows gets her all bothered and needy for him, of how he was going to growl against her how she owes him an apology, of murmuring into her ear, telling her exactly how she could apologize to him.

Reminded him that he had made it when everything was okay, when he had Kim, when he was happy, when his heart was fine, unbroken, full of love.

When Adam didn’t have to look back on his memories of Kim and wonder if she was actually happy, if she was actually smiling because she wanted to, because she was happy, content, or if it fake, that she was miserable and he just didn’t notice.

When he didn’t have to wonder, question, analyse, dissect all his memories of her, of all their interactions, didn’t have to wonder if their playful banter was just that, if their little harmless and half-playful, affectionate arguments were really so little or harmless or if it was just another missed sign. Was she happy, in despair of him but happy, or was his habits, his casual forgetfulness really grating on her that much?

When all his memories of her wasn’t tainted with these questions, when he could look back at them, and just get lost in the happiness, of the love, because they were happy memories with the love of his life. When he didn’t have to wonder if they were really happy memories, or was it just her being miserable with him and him being an oblivious dick?

Adam had put down his phone after reading the words, turning back to his paperwork, trying to focus on the words and not on the agony twisting in his heart. All while trying to keep an impassive expression, maintaining that everything is okay, that he doesn’t once again feel like the walls are too close and he can’t breathe, not wanting his unit to realise something is wrong.

He had dismissed the notification, making it disappear from his phone screen, never to appear again, but the damage was done; there was no dismissing it from his mind.

From that point to now, Adam’s been in hell, in a constant state of heartbreak, of confusion, of contemplation. It should’ve been just as easy as dismissing it from this phone, the reminder just another relic from his life before Kim left him. It was just something he set before and had forgotten about, there was no reason for it to affect him.

Maybe it’d cause him to drink a little more at night, causes his self-hatred increase, causes his mind be occupied by thoughts of just how much he fucked everything up. And it did, but it also changed things. It made him wonder what he should do about it, made him remember that Kim will have two tickets she ordered when they were together, and made him wonder if he should approach her about it, ask about it.

Made him wonder if he should offer to pay her back, wonder if he should maybe make sure he’s fine if she wants to take someone else, like Nicole.

Made him wonder if he should tell her he’ll still go with her, if she wants. Adam knows her, knows how she’ll be in turmoil over these tickets as well, knowing how she hates wasting stuff, but also knowing how she hates going to things alone.

He had mulled over this for days. Kim had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t want him to talk to her, didn’t want him to discuss anything about them, about the engagement, about the life they were going to share together, and that should’ve made it easy for him. That he should’ve been able to stop thinking about that damn play, about the reminder, about her, but he couldn’t. His thoughts constantly plagued by the question, that if he should ask her how they should proceed, inform her that he’s still an option if she’ll have him.

Adam had planned out what he would say to her, that he’d just casually bring it up when he sees her, or even just shoot her a casual text—ignoring how if his heart was beating even a fourth as it was when he was planning this he could hardly call it casual—saying that they were friends first, so if she needs company, he’s there. As a friend.

Although if Adam is honest with himself, and the way thoughts of her have consumed so many of his thoughts since they met, Kim and him have never just been friends. It’s not something he likes to reflect on, unless he’s got her in his arms because that reminds him that he may feel like a bit of dick for it but she’s worth it, but they’ve always had this spark, this connection between them. It’s never not been a casual, at-ease state for him to just flirt with her, to watch her blush, to see her flirt back, and that’s not friendship.

And yet again, if he’s honest with himself, it wasn’t just heartbreak, confusion and contemplation that he’s been feeling these past few days. It’s hope. He shouldn’t, he should chase away, to squash all that hope with the memory of her leaving him, that hope and Kim shouldn’t go hand in hand, not anymore, but despite all that, he hoped.

Hope, because this could be the thing he’s been waiting for, the doorway in, the step to getting her to talk to him, to stand near him for more than thirty seconds, for her to look him in the eyes. Hope that maybe, just maybe, if he offered to go with her, it’ll be the start of them again, that he could get her back.

In the end, he didn’t approach her, didn’t text her with that offer, just too caught up in his doubt and self-hatred. Caught up in the memory of her leaving him, caught up in the uncertainty he has towards all their happy moments. Caught up in wondering that if he didn’t notice just how miserable she was with him, what if she agreed to let him accompany her out of politeness, and he doesn’t notice that as well.

Up until a month ago, Adam had prided himself of knowing everything about her, of reading her so effortlessly, but he didn’t see her leaving him, didn’t see her being fine with the breakup, and now he’s not sure of anything.

For all he knows, he could be wrong. Kim might not be in turmoil over these tickets, she may be assured and certain with what she wants to do with them, if she wants to go, if she wants to take anyone with her. He’s been so wrong about everything else, why not this?

There’s a part of him that wishes that would be that. But Adam doesn’t have it in him for to let it go, he can’t, no when Kim’s concerned. He may not have asked her, might of chickened out, weighed down by the cons until it was too late, but he can’t not do something.

So here he is, dressed in his suit—tie and all, despite how much he hates it—preparing to potential gets rejected. He hadn’t originally planned to wear the tie, having planned to win Kim over with the undone buttons, but they’re not together, he can’t just flirt and seduce his way out if things, and he needs to show that he’s just trying to be a friend, that he’s serious and just doing something nice, not playing an angle.

Adam knows this is a bad plan. To not even ask her, or bring it up first, to just turn up outside. To see if she’s decided to go, if she’s taking her sister or even someone like Lindsay—they may not be together anymore, but he still notices things, like the two of them bonding.

But the thought of her turning up alone, feeling shy and out of place because of it, and knowing that he could make her night, make her happy, just by showing up is the only thing he needs for the resolve to stick to this plan, to ignore all the reasons why he shouldn’t go.

CONTINUE ON AO3

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

What do you think of how TWD has become? Personally I recently just stopped watching since Lauren left. Before that every episode became a chore to watch and then it just became a show I analytically judged and cringed through. And I’m really not one to stop watching shows after years of being loyal. So I was wondering if it’s the same for you. And if so what it who or what is still keeping you to watch.

I literally couldn’t have received this ask at a better time - I’ve spent the last half an hour or so browsing through Reddit to hear people’s opinions on why they feel TWD has declined in quality and what the best/worst seasons are (yes, I know, I’m sad haha). To answer your question about what I think of what TWD has become - I’m very disappointed with what it’s become and I feel exactly the same way you do. There are so many amazing elements of TWD that make it one of my favourite shows and I will always love and re-watch the earlier seasons, but it’s gotten so bad. Like, so so so so so bad. I haven’t watched the show since the end of season 8 but I’ve still seen snippets of season 9 from the TWD blogs I follow and have no desire to pick it up again. I’m like you and I find it very difficult to give up on shows that I’ve loved and followed for so long, but it gets to a point where you have to prioritise enjoyment above loyalty and it got to a point where I felt the same as you and that watching new episodes was a chore. When it gets to that point with any show, it’s time to quit, because watching shows should be an enjoyable experience, not something you’re forcing yourself to do and that’s putting you in a bad mood afterwards (which TWD often did for me before I stopped watching). 

I began to lose interest in the show during season 6 with the introduction of the Hilltop and the Saviors. Personally, I’m not a fan of the focus on human conflict and community vs community, this is a zombie show and zombies should be the main conflict not petty squabbling between humans (plus, we already had that plot in seasons 3 and 4 with the Governor). I had no interest in Negan and the build-up to his reveal was so dragged out that I cared even less by the time we finally met him. The circumstances of Glenn and Abraham’s deaths angered me beyond belief (like it did for many fans), and losing Glenn was a massive hit for me. At that point, I considered stopping watching, but I was willing to give the show the benefit of the doubt and committed to watching season 7, which was undoubtedly the worst season of the show by a mile. Nothing even happens in season 7, it’s all filler (what even is that god awful episode with Daryl in the cell with that annoying song that replays constantly?), there’s too much focus on Negan, the core croup are divided for a majority of the season (again) and 99% of the characters are utterly detestable. Honestly, the only reason I kept watching at that point was because of Rick and Carl. When Carl was killed in season 8 I was sure that was the point at which I would stop watching, because I’d only been holding on by a thread for two seasons. Again, I forced myself to watch until the end of the season partly out of curiosity as to how they would handle the aftermath of Carl’s death and what would happen to Rick, but mostly because I was clinging to that teeny tiny little chance that Carl wasn’t really dead and it was all some cruel trick. When I realised that Carl really was dead (and saw the shit-fest that the rest of season 8 was) I just had nothing left to watch for. 

TWD is a dark and depressing show and a big problem that has led it to the place it is today (aside from atrocious pacing, poor writing decisions and a bad format) is that it systematically kills off all of its characters who represent hope in a universe that is hopeless. Sophia, Hershel, T-Dog, Beth, Glenn and Carl all symbolised optimism and hope in some way because of what they represented and/or had overcome. Carl’s death, in particular, was such a huge blow for me, that I couldn’t recover from it. For me personally, Rick and Carl are the foundation of TWD and without them it simply doesn’t work. That father/son relationship is at the heart of the show - Rick is the main protagonist, he is the hero who is responsible for rebuilding a new world and his primary motivator (excluding Lori) is his son. When you take Carl away you take away the heart of the show and the show no longer makes sense without him. Fans watched Carl grow from a young boy, witnessed all the traumas he suffered through and regardless of whether we liked him or not, we were invested in his well-being and rooting for him. As a child, he was the symbol of innocence, of the future and he was the one character we wanted to see still standing at the end, we wanted him to be the one that beat the world, just like Lori said on her deathbed. Without Carl who’s going to take Rick’s place? The whole point of the show was for Carl to grow into a strong, brave leader who could one day step into Rick’s shoes and continue down the same path. Rick’s character no longer makes sense without Carl, and as endearing as his relationships with Judith and Michonne are, they are no substitute for his relationship with Carl. 

So, if Carl had survived perhaps I’d still be watching the show right now (I might’ve even been able to deal with Rick’s absence with Carl still around, although I would’ve found it very difficult), but I’m doubtful that even Carl and the Rick/Carl relationship could’ve kept me watching since I grew to dislike every other character and aspect of the show before I stopped watching. All of my favourite characters have been killed - Lori, Shane, Beth, Hershel, Glenn and Carl - and the new characters that have been introduced are not adequate replacements at all. Even the well-liked Jesus is a bland character that I have no emotional investment in at all. As for the other long-standing characters like Daryl, Michonne, Maggie, Carol, Rosita and Tara, I don’t like any of them anymore because of the way they’ve been written. That’s a huge problem, because TWD is a character-centric show and the characters are what keep people invested. That’s particularly the case for me, because I’m a very character-orientated person. Like, I’ll commit to watching shows I don’t even like just because I love the character(s) (e.g. The Punisher). 

Putting the characters aside, there’s just no plot there anymore either. Granted, I haven’t watched season 9 so I don’t know whether it’s improved (although I’m assuming it hasn’t if you’ve recently stopped watching), but there’s been no real story except the Rick vs Negan plot for the last 3 seasons and it’s so dull. I know Negan is important in the comics and people would’ve rioted if he hadn’t been introduced on the show, but I just think that his entire arc has ruined the show. People are seduced by his character because of Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s performance (and their love for comic!Negan), but the character has no substance and is a poor antagonist in comparison to the legendary Governor. Also, where the hell is the story even headed now? I don’t know and at this point, I’m pretty sure the writers don’t know either. There’s no coherence or sense of vision. That’s largely because it’s such a popular show that it has been given the luxury of having as many seasons as it pleases, but it’s also a curse because it means that the writers hash out episodes and seasons with no end in sight, because they don’t know when it’ll end. TWD is supposed to be unpredictable, so no one could ever guess what the ending would be, but back in the day I could at least picture a feasible ending in my mind (which involved Carl, obviously) but now I can’t, because what’s the end goal? If Carl is gone, it’s not going to end with him in the “new world” continuing Rick’s legacy (which is what I always imagined it to be) and they’ve already found a safe haven and established a community built on friendship and cooperation with other communities which was another primary goal for the characters, so what else is left? What is a fitting ending for the story given the direction it has taken now? On any other post-apocalyptic show the basic goal would be to establish a cause and cure for the disease to attempt to save the world, but we’ve already been explicitly told TWD isn’t a show about finding a cure (which makes no sense, because honestly, who would just accept it and go ‘okay, this is the way things are now’?), so it makes no sense. It’s very difficult (if not impossible) for people to continue watching a show like this where all of the characters they become invested in eventually die and there is no sense of purpose or meaning. It’s an apocalyptic world, meaning is all anybody is really looking for, we don’t really care about the survival aspect (although that’s interesting), we want to see them find a new purpose and place in a world that has been ripped apart at the seams.

Sorry, I’ve gone off on a complete rant about this, I just have a lot of feelings about TWD. It makes me sad what’s happened to what was a once great show and it’s all because the people involved are so greedy. They don’t care about telling a brilliant story, they care about dragging it out for as long as possible to bleed every last dollar from it that they can. I’ll still most likely watch the last ever episode of the show, because I always do with shows that I’ve been a long-term fan of but stopped watching (such as TVD), just to get some closure. Also, since I love Rick’s character so much (and based on what I’ve seen he’s not dead so will eventually return to the show), I won’t be satisfied until I see how his story ends (and it better be a damn happy ending, because there’s been enough heartbreak on this show lmao). 

Thanks for your ask :)

[vrheadsets]

Virtual Reality: Exploring the Business Applications

For decades, we have dreamt of transporting ourselves to alternate realities with the power of virtual reality (VR). As the hardware and software needed to create truly immersive, three dimensional worlds becomes more inexpensive and accessible, that dream comes ever closer to reality.

Once widely perceived as nothing more than a gimmick and a toy, VR head mounted display s(HMDs) are now being taken much more seriously. In fact, last year Samsung logged over one million users for their smartphones-based HMD. .

Tech behemoths Google, Microsoft, Samsung and Facebook are pouring billions of dollars into VR in a race to bring a cheap VR product to mainstream consumers. “You’re getting a level of simulation quality that might’ve been possible only in a $1 million system just 20 or even 10 years ago,” Samsung’s GM of immersive products told Fortune about VR becoming a more affordable (and thus a more easily adopted) technology.

As the cost of participating in VR technologies rapidly diminishes, we are left with a few interesting considerations. VR has already proven itself to be rather effective as a new component of modern entertainment. Although not all the kinks are worked out, it is not a stretch of the imagination to picture VR headsets becoming a mainstay of commercial video gaming as well as other forms of interactive entertainment. What is far more intriguing is VR’s practical uses. If VR technologies continue to advance, they could become as ubiquitous as the personal computer. Without a shadow of a doubt, VR and augmented reality (AR)could enhance how we engage in work, just like the personal computer has. But, this leads to another question: what would this look like? And another: what applications would VR seep into first?

It was only three years ago that Facebook sunk its first $2 billion into VR when they acquired Oculus Rift, the then-burgeoning VR tech company. At a recent F8 conference, Zuckerberg provided us with a demo of the technology Facebook has been working so tirelessly on. He showcased not only its ability to transport users to constructed worlds and fantastical realms, but also its capability to augment existing places and things.

“The idea is that virtual reality puts people first. It’s all about who you’re with. Once you’re in there, you can do anything you want together — travel to Mars, play games, fight with swords, watch movies or teleport home to see your family,” he wrote in a post on social media. He highlighted mostly the social aspect of the company’s VR platform. But, in a small snippet of his demonstration, he showcased an avatar version of himself teleporting into the Facebook offices. It is quite feasible, then, that the technology could be used to augment remote work.

Remote work has been steadily rising in popularity over the past few years. Over a third of the US workforce has had some experience with it. It was predicted in the 80’s that it would become the future of work because of its manifold benefits. Virtual work has not yet become the norm, however, due to a few roadblocks. Namely, isolation is a major issue for telecommuters. VR, would, in effect, address the lack of social interaction remote workers experience.

Already, there are technologies such as Beam, which allows for telecommuters to report in to the office as a small screen on wheels. University of Pennsylvania engineering students have taken the technology a step forward with VR. They’ve created a roving robot equipped with 3D cameras. Users can “inhabit” the body of the robot using a VR headset.

According to the engineering students, testers of their technology have been able to conduct conversations and engage in rudimentary social interactions. If telepresence robots could indeed become a reality, remote work could resemble something very similar to how we define work presently — only without geographical constraints. Video conferencing and business meetings could likewise be met with radical transformations due to VR, as more impersonal methods of interacting would no doubt become obsolete.

VR could change more than how we define being present. “Our mission is to give anyone the power to express anything they’re thinking about or want to experience,” Zuckerberg explained about the company’s vision for the future of AR and VR at a live talk he hosted from Berlin. “I think that’s going to be really profound: not only being able to capture real things in a much more visceral way, but being able to construct different things that wouldn’t be possible.” As Zuckerberg illuminated in his chat, VR can alter our world instead of merely transporting us. What does this mean in terms of business applications? How we visualize, conceptualize and test important ideas and data could be totally changed.

Big data, for instance, could be more easily digested in a 3D realm, where researchers physically explore trends and data points rather than simply reading off facts and figures from sheets of numbers and graphs. According to one researcher, she was able to absorb around four times as much information utilizing VR as opposed to her traditional methods of analyzing data sets.

Testing and prototyping could be revolutionized as well. The Ford Motor Company has reportedly been using VR since 1999 in order to more efficiently prototype vehicles and test ideas. “The impact on cost, time and quality are significant, and have allowed our designers and engineers more creative freedoms to explore options that in the past would have been to time- or cost-intensive to consider,” Ford’s senior technical leader said.

The automotive industry isn’t the only industry that could stand to benefit from VR, either. Programmers, designers and data scientists could all use the technology to break free of processing information from 2D sources, such as laptop screens and paper reports.

VR is already reshaping how we interact with media. Tech companies have recognized the massive growth potential of VR and AR technologies and are working hard to produce a VR product suitable for mass consumption. As adoption rises, it seems likely that these technologies could change remote work, and telecommunication in general. Telepresence is only the beginning. How we conceptualize, train and engage in work could be enhanced (and maybe even reimagined). Some members of the automotive industry, such as Ford, have already recognized the merits of VR as a tool and have integrated it into its prototyping process. Indeed, VR’s applications are seemingly infinite. We only need to find out how to properly navigate the changes it will most certainly bring.

    from VRFocus http://ift.tt/2tXbnjm