#“you need to finish the story... for me” OKAY?????
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Do you have any entry level recommendations for someone looking to learn a bit more about Greek mythology? I’d love to read up on it but I’m not sure how to find reputable sources and avoid Americanisation.
I mean, at the risk of sounding crass, you're likely going to run into Americanization no matter what you do because America itself was built on many cultures, especially that of Greek philosophy and storytelling.
Buuut if you mean you wanna read some actual Greek myth content that AREN'T modern American spins on classic tales, Emily Wilson is a popular choice for many people dipping their toes into translated mythology as her translations are both simplistic and concise in their language choices as well as fun in their structure to read both internally and orally (iirc her translations are done in iambic pentameter which is very familiar to anyone who's ever read Shakespeare). I've been working through her translation of The Odyssey, it's been pretty enjoyable :)
I've also heard great things about both Lattimore and Fitzgerald, the latter of whom I will be reading next after I finish Wilson's translation. That said, I haven't read either of their works yet, so take my recommendation of them with grains of salt! (I hope you enjoy them though if you check 'em out! If you beat me to it, let me know how they went!)
OH also, I know it's sorta the opposite of what you're likely looking for as it's VERY influenced by modern contexts, but thanks to another anon I recently got into Destripando la Historia which is a super fun animated Youtube series that retells the stories of various different gods from different mythologies. If you're into stuff of the goofy anime variety, you might enjoy them, it's a Spanish series but you can turn on captions to read the translations! It's super beginner-friendly, it covers a lot of different stories and myths without getting into so much detail that it's overwhelming (but gives you a good kickoff point to start with!) and the songs and animations slap, Afrodita is one of my favorites haha
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Overall the biggest advice I can give you if you're trying to avoid fanfiction-y / "Americanized" retellings is just to cross-reference. If you find a retelling you really like but aren't completely sure of its legitimacy as a functional retelling, keep reading, watching, and learning more. It's a skill like any other, and the more you read, the more you'll be able to pick out what's a legitimate retelling from studied scholars vs. what's fanfiction that you don't need to take too accurately or seriously LMAO
And honestly, nothing wrong with the fanfiction stuff! Mythology, in its very nature, changes over time, it's an inevitability and many of the myths we still draw from today are often derivative in and of themselves from even older versions that pre-existed them (see: Ovid).
it's okay if your introduction to Greek myth is through derivative fanfic, stuff like Disney's Hercules and even Lore Olympus ARE fun to consume for a lot of people and make for a good entry point into learning more about the myths!
What's frustrating - and what I tend to criticize the most here - is when the fanfiction gets advertised / sold as legitimate retellings; when the fanfiction grossly misrepresents the actual mythology and yet tries to claim it as legitimate anyways which results in fanbases that are running around with completely false information claiming it as fact. If you can give the team behind Hercules credit for one thing, their rendition may not be completely accurate, BUT the folks who made it never bragged about how much smarter they were than other people about Greek myth or call themselves "folklorists" when they didn't even have any formal education/training/etc. in it cough like another creator we know cough 💀 If we want to make a comparison between LO and a Disney film in terms of how it grossly misrepresents the themes and cultural contexts of the original stories it was drawing from... Disney's Pocahontas does exactly that 💅
So if you want to avoid any "grossly" Americanized versions of Greek myth that are borderline disrespectful to the stories they're drawing from... yeah, that's usually a pretty indicative red flag LMAO
But outside of those very specific scenarios, just have fun with it, there really is no "right or wrong" way to engage with the mythology if you're simply just wanting to learn more, the beauty of it being mythology is that it's very diverse in its mediums and thus you don't have to be restricted to learning about it exclusively through academic translations or lectures. Of course, there are cultural intersections with these myths that shouldn't be ignored, we always have to treat it with care when engaging with it so that we aren't overwriting another culture's traditions or beliefs - but if you're simply wanting to learn about and entertain yourself with some amazing stories that have quite literally stood the test of time, do so however you see fit :)
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Welp, I haven’t shed this many tears from experiencing so many emotions while reading anything, EVER.
I sobbed when @thefallennightmare first sent part of this chapter to me & @artificialbreezy last night. Just full on tears running down my face and neck…
And here I am again, drenched from the amount of tears I just shed.
I am feeling SO many emotions, the fact that we are officially at the end is just so surreal. This journey has been so incredible and being able to watch Angel & Mochi’s growth from the beginning to now is just so incredibly special.
Just Pretend was the first fan fic I ever read. I remember instantly being drawn in from the gif of Noah bouncing on the chain link rope. Never did I expect to instantly connect and fall in love with a story as hard as I did with JP.
I remember once I finished the chapter I went all the way back to the beginning so I could binge it all the way up to the current chapter at the time.
JP is easily THE most reread story of mine. Any time I needed to escape from the world or whatever I was going through JP was always there. I knew that Mochi & Angel could help just take it all away for a little while.
I’ve spent so many nights staying up until 3am just binging this story over & over again and now that it’s reached the end, I cannot wait to start all the way from the beginning to binge it again.
@thefallennightmare I am SO incredibly proud of you. What you have accomplished with this story is just something so special. You’ve created such a safe space for SO many with JP and you’ve put so much time and hard work into this story to give it what it deserved.
I’m so thankful I clicked that read more button all those months ago because it brought me to you and to so many other wonderful people. JP saved me in so many ways and I cannot thank you enough, Tina, for sharing something SO special and incredible with us all.
This may be the end of JP but Mochi & Angel are forever. They are forever worthy & everything is okay.
🦋🪽🍡💍🌸🐈⬛🐕🍜🍊🍓☕️🇸🇪🧚🏻🦝⚪️⚪️⚪️
Just Pretend-Thirty One[FINALE]
*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*
Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader
Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut(18+), star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse, talks of death, depressive thoughts, talks about not being able to conceive, and endometriosis.
Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.
Authors Note: After over a year of writing this story, we finally are at the end. I have so many things to say yet I think I will bask in the moment for a little bit before I bore you with my emotions. So please take this for now: Thank you all so fucking much for your endless love and support for this silly little fic. It started off as a simple request(i hope you're still around 🎧 ). But it brought me so many friendships. I owe you all so much. Forever grateful for every single one of you.
My inbox will forever be open if you want to talk about the finale. 🖤
Huge thank you to my loves @blueskylinesx and @artificialbreezy for your endless support and helping me with the vows. I love you both immensely.
Angel and Mochi forever. 🪽🍡
Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @happi-goth @dsireland86 @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-mee @respectfulrebel @malerieee @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @sideeyenoah @bellaboo967 @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @amelia-acero @karenfrancoespinosa-blog @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @supersquirrel1996 @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715
THIS IS FICTION. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.
READER
ONE MONTH LATER.
“Noah,” I choked out while gazing up at the familiar home with tears filling my eyes.
He stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist and his chin resting on top of my head. We both swayed with the sudden rush of wind which caused Noah to hold me tighter, bringing the warmth from his body to my own.
“Are you mad?” He asked.
I couldn’t remove my eyes from the SOLD sign on the front yard of the familiar house and the key Chase was dangling in front of my face with a shit eating grin. A month ago on that night underneath the fairy lights, Noah proposed with the ring hanging on Kuma’s new collar. When I found the ring and looked over at Noah that night, he said two simple words.
“Marry me.”
I accepted before he finished the words, nearly tackling him to the ground. We connected that night underneath the fairy lights, his cock slowly dragging in and out of me while I rocked my hips up into him. Afterwards, we lay together tangled underneath the stars with the blanket barely covering us as we talked about our wedding plans. Our conversation during our many 2pm Facetime calls was something we both remembered fondly.
With a hesitant sigh, I nodded. "Japan is just such an important place to me, for several reasons. I have this little fantasy that I’d run off and get married there. It's so peaceful and quiet with my closest friends and family. One and done romance type shit."
Noah stiffened while scratching his chin.
"What? I freak you out, girlfriend?" | joked with a teasing smirk.
He chuckled nervously. "No. I- uh, who's the groom?"
"I don't know, never got that far. It's always been the small child in me's dream."
It took some time with many nights of wondering if I was worthy enough but I found my groom.
So when we broke the news to everyone two days later, wanting to bask in it privately beforehand, we told everyone that we’d be getting married in Japan. But with the future shows both Bad Omens and Hollow Souls had planned, we knew we would either have to push off the wedding for a couple years or get married before the shows.
Now, a month later, all of us were in Japan for our wedding that was happening in a few days. It wasn’t anything big and lavish, something small with our family; some old and some new.
“You bought my dad’s house?” I asked while peering over my shoulder at him.
Noah turned me around so I could face him head on and pressed my hands against his chest, the diamond on my left ring finger catching the light of the setting sun.
“I contacted a realtor shortly after we left about buying your dads house. It didn’t feel right letting it go to someone else. Your dad lived here for half of his life, Y/N. It deserves to stay in the family,” he explained.
I blew out a shaky breath while resting my head against his shoulder, those strong arms wrapping around me yet again.
“Thank you.”
Noah brushed his lips over my forehead. “You’re not mad I bought a house without asking you? Especially your dad’s house?”
“Not at all. I was at a dark point in my life the last time we were here that all I wanted was to forget about this place. But I’m so thankful you bought it,” I slipped my hands up his sweater over his stomach, grazing my nails over the warm skin.
Chase stepped into my view as my face was buried into Noah’s chest and he was twirling the key around his finger. “We replaced most of the furniture you had sold before you put it up on the market. Noah hired a paint crew to come through and put a fresh coat everywhere. It’s like a new house but still has the old bones of when your dad lived here, if that makes sense.”
Stepping out of Noah’s embrace, I pulled Chase in for a hug while smushing his face into my chest and kissed the top of his head which due to how tall he was made it difficult.
“I love you, bud.”
He grumbled under his breath while pushing me back into Noah’s embrace and adjusting his messed up shirt. Even with his teasing, I could see the love in his bright blue eyes.
“Keep it up and you’re walking yourself down the aisle,” Chase taunted and then turned on his heels to walk over to Malcolm, who had been unloading the rental car.
As the two of them shared a kiss, I called out to them while Noah and I continued to stand on the front step of our new home.
“I’m going to drag you guys down the aisle with me if I have too!”
Noah chuckled, brushing a kiss across my lips. “I can’t believe we’re getting married.”
“I know!” I giggled while wrapping my hands behind his neck. “Do you think we kind of jump the gun, though? We don’t have a venue. The only thing we have planned is my dress, your outfit, and the bridal party.”
“About that,” he sprawled his hands over my lower back as everyone else moved around us, bringing in their suitcases into the house.
It was decided that we all would stay here because we had plenty of space.
“How would you feel about getting married in the backyard? I know it might not be your dream wedding but I just thought it would be perfect. Lots of space for all of us, privacy fence so no one can spy on us, and the girls already have an idea on how to decorate it. If you’re alright with that. We don’t want you to feel pressured-.”
I placed a hand over Noah’s mouth to stop his rambling. “Mochi, you know you ramble when you’re nervous?”
He nodded as I continued. “We could literally get married in the bedroom with just us two and it would be my dream wedding.”
Matt suddenly appeared over Noah’s shoulder. “Technically it wouldn’t be legal unless you had someone who was ordained.”
Rolling my eyes, I let my hand drop from Noah’s mouth only to link my fingers with his as we began slowly walking up the rest of the way towards the front door with Matt.
“Speaking of being ordained, did you do what you needed to?” Noah asked.
“Yes. I am officially ordained in Japan,” Matt wore a big smile. “So I get to marry my best friends.”
“How’s Dove feeling?” I asked while motioning towards Matt’s cousin, who was off to the far side of the yard with Faye, having their own conversation.
“She’s okay, might take some time but she’ll get there,” Matt nodded while stuffing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “I appreciate you guys letting her come, given you don’t really know her.”
Noah waved him off. “Dove is your cousin, Matt. Which means she’s family, just like you.”
“I’ve always watched out for her when we were growing up so whatever I can do to protect her, I’ll do it.”
Once Matt left us to run towards Faye and Dove, I felt Noah squeeze my hand which caused me to gaze over at him with furrowed brows.
“Did your mom ever call you back?” He wondered.
I scoffed, doing my best not to let the anger I felt festering inside of me not ruin the whirlwind high we’d been feeling since our proposal last month.
“Nope. I left her a voicemail all three times that I called her to tell her what’s going on,” I answered.
Noah’s shoulders fell. “Does that make you upset?”
“Honestly?” I shrugged. “Not really. She’d never been around for any other big moments of my life. I have everyone here that’s important to me. That’s all that matters.”
With a smile, he motioned towards the house behind me. “Are you ready to go inside?”
“Oh,” I muttered as my shoulders fell because I realized that this would be the first time I stepped inside my dad’s place since his funeral.
Well, now I guess it would be our house.
Glancing over my shoulder to the front door less than a few feet in front of us, I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. Chase and Noah mentioned that it was basically a new house inside with a fresh coat of paint and new furniture. Deep down I knew that even though everything was new inside, my dad’s spirit would be lingering there.
“Yeah,” I finally nodded while looking back at him. “I’ve been telling myself it’s a fresh start, ya know?”
With a tender kiss to my hand, Noah led me through the front door as we took the first step together towards our future.
READER
“What the fuck!? JOE!” I yelled while pushing away from the table and running towards the familiar face that had just walked into the ramen restaurant.
Joe broke out in laughter as I nearly tackled him to the ground. “Hey kid.”
All of us were having a little makeshift rehearsal dinner at a ramen place that my dad loved the night before the wedding. We all made plans for when Bad Omens, ERRA, and Hollow Souls played Inkarceration. Then spent most of the night reminiscing on past memories. Every so often, I’d catch Noah looking at his phone before letting his gaze linger on the door of the restaurant but never thought much of it. I’d been in a deep conversation with Dove as she talked about what happened when she was on the road a month ago.
“What the hell are you doing in Japan?” I asked Joe after pulling away from our hug.
“Oh you know, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d come by to say hello,” he playfully smirked.
I rolled my eyes as I felt Noah walk up beside me, giving Joe a handshake. “Thanks for coming. I know it was kind of last minute.”
Joe waved Noah off. “All good. Thank you guys for the invite.”
My stomach dropped when I realized from the craziness of the last month, I’d forgotten to invite one of my good friends. Forever thankful that Noah thought of it, I rose on my toes to place a kiss on his cheek.
“You thought of everything, huh?” I breathed in his ear.
Noah looked at me, something mischievous in his ember eyes. “You have no idea, angel.”
Dragging both Joe and Noah back to the table, we all eased back into the dinner and every so often I’d feel Noah squeeze my thigh before inching his fingers up closer to my core. With the amount of people in the house, we decided that we would hold off on sex until our wedding night.
Needless to say, both of us were extremely wound up but I kept telling myself that it would all be worth it in two nights' time when we finally had the house to ourselves.
Once we all finished dinner, we all piled out of the restaurant with a suggestion from Nicholas to check out the local market in town. While most of the group dispersed in their own directions, Noah and I found ourselves alone for the first time in hours.
“I’m so stuffed,” Noah groaned while rubbing a hand over his stomach.
I wrapped my arms tighter around him while burying my face into his chest as we walked down the market block in Japan.
“Are you happy you finally got your real ramen?” I teased while poking his chest.
With a playful roll of his eyes, Noah brushed a kiss along my forehead as we walked through the crowds of people that gathered at the market. Earlier before dinner, I’d bought about four different mangas that had characters on the cover that looked like Noah, something he made sure to grumble about.
“How the hell does this Yamada guy look like me?” He asked, utterly confused while holding up one of the mangas.
I snatched it from him, holding it close to my chest. “I bet if I found a picture of you with this exact hair cut and did a side by side comparison, you’d see I’m right. Too bad you cut your hair yesterday.”
Noah’s hair had been unruly lately so with the wedding coming up, he’d shaved the ends while still keeping the levi cut up top. Even though I'd always love his longer hair, I had to admit he looked absolutely gorgeous this way as well.
“Y/N, look,” Noah pulled us to a stop, his arms around my shoulder, and pointed in front of us.
Following his long finger, my eyes landed on a familiar older figure standing at one of the book tents in the market.
“It’s older you!” I squealed, a little too loudly.
The older gentleman looked over towards us at my outburst and when the look of remembrance crossed his face, he gave us a small wave.
“Well, look who it is!” Older Noah smiled while walking over to us. “What are the odds I’d run into you guys in Japan?”
Throughout the years, this was the third time we’d run into the older gentleman and his wife. The first time at the coffee shop back when Bad Omens and Hollow Souls toured together, the second time when Noah and I spent the afternoon at the pier where he bought me ice cream, and now here in Japan. Yet it was then that I noticed he was alone.
“Ah, yes,” Older Noah tapped the book against his chest when he noticed me looking around. “My Allie passed away a month ago.”
Both Noah and I sucked in a breath, something the older one waved off. “Please, no pity. She lived a good and long life before the Alzhiemers took her.”
“Are you in Japan alone?” Noah wondered.
“No,” the older one shook his head before adjusting his glasses. “My granddaughter, Lori is around here somewhere. What brings you two to Japan?”
Noah linked my hand in his and brough the ring up to his lips, peppering it in kisses. “We’re getting married.”
Older Noah’s eyes lit up at the news. “Well, good for you two! I still remember seeing you two in that coffee shop so long ago. The love in your eyes when you looked at her.”
A crimson hue covered Noah’s face and I giggled while swinging our hands together.
“I can’t explain it,” Old Noah began while flipping through the book he always seemed to have with him. “Something told me that I’d be running into you two again and soon which is why I made sure to bring this book with me. I read it to my Allie almost every night since it was her favorite.”
Through the hustle and bustle of the market crowd, we barely could hear the soft sob that fell from Older Noah’s lips before he continued. “Since there’s no use for it anymore, I think I’ll give it to you two as a wedding gift.”
Noah shook his head. “We can’t. That book means a lot to you-.”
“Nonsense,” Older Noah smiled. “Please take it. My Allie would want you to have it.”
Gently I took the old book from his shaking hands and immediately brought it to my chest. “Thank you, Noah. You barely know us but for you to trust us with something so special to you, means a lot.”
He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his tan coat. “You two remind me of me and Allie when we were young.”
My Noah pressed a kiss to the side of my head and pulled me into his chest. “Do you have any advice for us to make our marriage last as long as yours did?”
Older Noah gave us a faint smile while someone from behind him waved after him, calling his name.
“The second you stop loving each other and pretending that your love story isn't real is when one of you starts to think you’re not worthy of the other.”
Just as a young woman tapped her hand on Older Noah’s shoulder, Michael appeared next to me, almost out of breath.
“Whatever you do, don’t ask Dove for a race. She’s way to fucking fast,” he took a large gulp of air.
“Grandpa! You can’t just wander off like that,” the woman next to Older Noah chastised him while adjusting her red cat eye framed glasses.
Something in the air shifted around us when Michael and the woman, who I assumed was Lori the granddaughter, caught sight of each other. I could see something change inside of Michael as his eyes lit up with something I recognized so often in Noah’s eyes.
Tapping my Noah’s chest, I glanced over at him while Michael introduced himself to Older Noah and Lori.
“Think we can add two more to our guest list?” I asked.
Noah smirked. “Already two steps ahead of you, angel.”
NOAH
Hiding a yawn behind my hand, I eased back into the couch a bit more while stretching my long legs out farther. The house finally settled down, all of the girls retreating to the larger bedroom to do whatever girls did the night before a wedding while us guys were scattered throughout the living room. Joe was staying at a hotel down the road and he left a bit ago.
Both Nick’s and Jolly were on one of the couches trying to decide on what to watch. Matt was pacing the length of the kitchen practicing his speech for tomorrow. Chase and Malcolm were in the office working on a special project for Y/N for tomorrow. Davis and Bryan were playing a card game at the kitchen table.
Michael, however, was still out on his walk with Lori. After our encounter yesterday, they exchanged numbers and Michael asked her if she wanted to go out on a walk with him.
I was sitting on the couch with Jesse next to me as I scrolled through listings on my phone. Earlier today when Y/N and I were talking about our future after the wedding, the topic of where we would live came up. Even though we both knew Michael and Jesse would never kick us out now that we were married, Y/N felt it would be better for us as a couple if we finally had our own place together.
So after discussing it with her and promising I wouldn’t buy another house without her permission, I had been texting her every possible listing I found. Y/N’s main concern with every single one: Is it too far from everyone?
She knew my end goal in life, after everything settled down in Bad Omens so she understood why I kept sending her listings from far.
"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."
Jesse shifted on the couch next to me causing me to glance over at him. “How’s Salem and Kuma?”
“JT said they’re good. He took Kuma on a three mile run earlier so he’s currently passed out in the middle of his kitchen floor,” Jesse chuckled.
Since most of us were in Japan, we needed someone to watch Salem and Kuma. JT immediately offered when Jesse brought it up.
“Have you found a place yet?” He asked while motioning to my phone.
I sighed while dropping it to my lap so I could rub out the stress from my temples. “There is one that looks promising. Has everything we need. But the neighbors are about a mile away which is a little too close for us. We envision complete solace. Is that bad?”
He shook his head while running a hand through his unruly curls. “Not at all. It’s fine to want some privacy. I mean, it’s why you guys are thinking of moving out anyway.”
“I know,” I nodded before showing him the listing. “It wouldn’t be so bad if one of you guys moved in next door since the house next door is for sale too so maybe I could talk Y/N into buying both so we can have extra space. I emailed the relator earlier so now it’s the waiting game. ”
Over my laughter from my joke, I nearly missed the way Jesse let out a low hum as he clicked on the listing for the house next door.
THIRD PERSON POV
A soft breeze blew through the bright cherry blossom stems, bringing a sense of calm to everyone who sat, patiently waiting to watch a harmony of two people becoming one. They all waited with baited breath for Y/N to emerge from the back door while Noah stood at the end of the aisle with Matt. Noah radiated nerves and did his best to keep his shaking hands hidden behind his back so he didn’t run them through his hair. It had been slicked back perfectly for the wedding and he couldn’t risk messing it up before Y/N saw it.
Even though a lot of aspects of their wedding wasn’t traditional, Y/N still wanted to keep some parts. They hadn’t seen each other since late last night after Noah and her snuck into the bathroom for a sweet kiss goodnight. While the guys got ready, the girls went out for breakfast. When it was time for Y/N and the rest were time to get ready, all of the guys went for lunch. Anything they could to stay away from each other. Noah didn’t want to risk ruining her big moment so he did his best to stay far away from her; even if it was killing him on the inside.
Noah was dressed in a pair of black slacks and a white button up shirt, something he didn’t wear often. On the lapels of his dress shirt were angel wings pins that connected with a golden chain. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showcasing not only his tattoos but also the silver bracelet; the one that mirrored Y/N’s.
Matt bumped his shoulder with Noah’s. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’m going to throw up all over my shoes,” he admitted with a staggered breath.
“Just take deep breaths like Dr. P instructs you. It’s just Y/N, no need to be nervous,” Matt assured Noah before pressing down the front of his shirt.
When Matt asked Y/N last night if he could still wear his hat during the ceremony, Faye immediately smacked him upside the head causing said hat to fall to the ground.
“These are your best friends, Matthew! You’re not wearing a hat during the ceremony!” Faye chastised him.
So now, here Matt was standing next to Noah, ready to officiate the wedding while wearing a black button up with pants to match and his blonde locks pulled back into a low bun. Faye couldn’t stop staring at him as she stood off to the side, one of Y/N’s bridesmaids.
Astrid was the maid of honor, followed by Tay and Faye as bridesmaids. On Noah’s side it was Nicholas as the best man, given their years of friendship and history. Jesse and Joakim were the other two groomsmen. Although they had a big family, Noah and Y/N decided on keeping the bridal party small.
The backyard was littered with vast amounts of Japanese lanterns that illuminated the space around them as the sun was beginning to set. There was a large cherry blossom tree in the yard where Noah stood, waiting for his bride. A few petals managed to fall off a branch with a sudden gust of wind and lingered on his shoulder. As he was about to brush them away, there was a soft voice that seemed to whisper in his ear, halting Noah. Just as the patio doors opened, a butterfly landed on the other shoulder and that voice from earlier spoke in his ear again.
“Think I’d miss this?”
Noah’s eyes snapped over to the two empty chairs in the front row. One with a picture of Y/N’s father and the other, the one that had his immediate attention, was a picture of Keaton.
“Glad you’re here, buddy,” Noah spoke under his breath.
The speakers that Matt had set up in the yard began to play a familiar tune; an instrumental version of You and I. Like a lot of other things in their wedding, the song that Y/N chose to walk down the aisle wasn't the typical song played at every other wedding. They wanted to be different, to show that their love was different than anyone else's. Their love story wasn’t like any told in existence or written in books.
The clouds above in the sun kissed sky opened up to let those rays paint the figure at the end of the aisle who was flanked by Chase on one side and Malcolm on the other. Suddenly, a flash of every moment between them flashed in Noah’s eyes; the good, the bad, the private ones. Everything they’d gone through the last couple years, from the moment he stepped off the tour bus to right now. It was all worth it.
Noah was worthy.
Y/N was worthy.
And now, in a matter of minutes, their bodies and souls would collide while they danced together in the moonlight as the stars aligned for them.
The moment Noah’s eyes locked with Y/N’s, all of the breath had been stolen from his lungs. He felt frozen in a time loop, trying to gather if this was real life and he wasn't still stuck in his dreamstate. Tears welled in his eyes as he let out a choked laugh when he saw Malcolm needing a moment before they began their walk towards Noah.
It was evident that everyone was affected in some way or another by seeing Y/N in her dress. Malcolm blew out a few deep breaths before he nodded over to Chase.
“I’m ready.”
Chase raised a brow. “You sure? We can wait another minute if you need.”
Y/N’s eyes widened. “No the fuck we can’t. Noah is waiting for me.”
She was thankful her hair was pulled back by an angel wing hair clip with only a few strands falling in her face because the heat emanating from her body brought a thin sweat to her skin.
“Alright,” Malcolm hooked his arm with hers again. “Let’s get you married.”
With the song still playing, all three of them took a shared breath, before they began the walk down the shortened aisle. While everyone's eyes were on her, Y/N only had eyes for one person.
Noah.
Who currently had tears rolling down his face and made no effort to wipe them away. On one of his shoulders was a few petals from the cherry blossom tree above him while on the other shoulder there was a pretty blue butterfly that made no effort to move. She noticed the angel wings pin on the collar of his shirt as when her gaze fell to the buckle on Noah’s belt, Y/N sucked in a breath.
Her dad.
Noah wore her fathers belt buckle that had his initials. Her dad only wore it on special occasions and he had it in the family for the last 30 years.
As she walked past all of her friends, Joe gave her a wide smirk with a wink; an action that told her one thing.
Told ya you guys would be here.
For a brief moment, Y/N remembered how Joe was there for her when they toured together and assured her that the break between Noah and her were exactly what they needed to get to this moment.
The invisible string that bound them together began to vibrate deep within their chests as Y/N closed the distance to Noah. All day, she’d felt sick because of the nerves that ate away at her. But now that she stood in front of him, all the worry fell to the grass beneath her feet.
With kisses from Chase and Malcom to her cheeks, they gave Y/N away to Noah who took her hand happily.
“Hi, angel,” he let out a giggle.
“Hi yourself, mochi,” she blew out a shaky breath.
One they stood across from each other, Y/N handed her bouquet of Violets over to Astrid while Faye handed her something special.
“Before we get started, I have something for Matt,” Y/N spoke while placing a hat on top of Matt.
The word Officiant was bold and large in white letters on the front.
“Oh thank god,” Matt let out a long breath while adjusting the hat.
“There’s the Matt I know and love,” Y/N smiled before linking hands with Noah again. “Alright, now marry us already because I’m dying to kiss Noah.”
A chorus of laughter echoed in the backyard before finally settling and Matt cleared his throat. Even with the shaking of nerves from Noah, the butterfly on his shoulder didn’t falter and that’s when Y/N got a good look at the three dots on one of the wings. While Matt began his speech, a flutter of wings caught Y/N’s attention for a brief moment. A butterfly with black and yellow stripes landed on her wrist as she continued to hold Noah’s hand. She sucked in a breath when the realization hit what kind of butterfly it was.
A Japanese Luehdorfia.
Y/N’s father spent a lot of his free time while living in Japan studying butterflies and these ones were his favorite. With the butterfly on Noah’s shoulder and the one on her wrist, the final two guests had arrived.
“I love you,” Noah mouthed to her as Matt rambled on about how everyone has a soulmate in their life.
Y/N squeezed his hands. “I love you more.”
“Alright everyone knows how much I love to yap but now it’s time for Noah and Y/N to exchange their vows,” Matt smiled as he took a small step away from them to give them their own space.
Noah cleared his throat before taking a deep breath and did his best to calm the rapid beating of his heart.
“This is about to be long so please bear with me,” Noah jokes.
Jesse parted his lips to say something but with a sharp glare from Tay, he snapped his mouth shut.
“Angel, I never knew truly just how much my life would change when we got the call about us touring together. When we met, I was in a weird place in my life but never knew that in such a short amount of time that everything was going to be okay again. Every moment spent with you that summer was something I could never forget; I didn't want to forget. That was the summer I knew we'd be here, together.”
Y/N squeezed Noah’s hand, both of the butterflies still resting on them, as he continued on with his vows. Everyone realized that he wasn’t reading from something, everything he spoke came from his mind on the fly.
“There was always something that held us away from each other, whether we sucked at communicating. More so, I really sucked at communicating. Or the fear that I wasn't worthy to be loved so strongly by you. The world stopped moving when you walked out that hotel room door. Which is why I made a promise to myself never to see you walk away like that again. Everything that's happened in our lives has led us to this spot. I wrote some silly little words in a hotel room years ago "Would you say I'm worthy?" and not a day goes by where you don't find a way to show me I'm worthy of you. That bracelet on your arm where the butterfly rests, Every morning you're in my bed, every time you burst in the room to share with me an idea for a song or painting you have. After all that time, after all those tears and pain and wondering if I was worthy, I can finally say out loud that we both are worthy. I won't drown you out, and I will wait for you no matter where we are. You were my angel before, and you're my angel now and forever.”
Y/N brushed away the tears with the hand that didn’t have the butterfly resting on her. “Thank Hades for waterproof mascara.”
With his eyes lingering on the silver chain and locket hanging around Y/N’s neck, Noah continued on. “Y/N, I spent so much time overthinking the past, where it slipped away all the time we let escape from the both of us while we tried to heal ourselves so we could be better for each other. At first I succumbed, kept myself numb while I tried to deal with the fact that I may be losing you. But I was not okay, I was not alright. How many times have I survived trying to feel like I’m alive? Never being able to change and get outside of my own head. I thought I knew that you couldn’t change me anyway but that’s where I was wrong, Angel. Because you had already changed me.”
Something shifted in the air around everyone and the butterfly on Noah’s shoulder began flapping its wings, almost like it was ready to take off. Y/N saw something ignite in the dark embers of Noah’s eyes as he spoke the final words of his vows.
“I was a helpless mess but you stole my pain, Novocain. You made me feel alive the moment I first saw you. I know now that I no longer have to survive because now, I have something that makes living so worthy. It’s you. In time the price we pay in pain brought us eternal peace. There is no Angel without Mochi, and there is no Mochi without Angel. I look at you right here before me and the same voice that’s been with me from the first time I met you is singing that it’s all okay. Everything is okay Angel, it’s you and me until forever.”
Just as Noah finished his vows, the butterfly on his shoulder fluttered up into the air to fly around both of them before shooting up into the air.
Swallowing thickly, Y/N adjusted her wrist to grab the papers that Astrid held out to her and yet again, the butterfly on her wrist remained unmoving.
“How the fuck am I supposed to follow that?” She chuckled.
“You can’t,” Noah winked.
Playfully rolling her eyes, Y/N took a centering breath and began reading from the papers in her hands.
“Noah, or Mochi if you will, I was stuck in an endless cycle of never knowing what love truly felt like. I spent so many days and nights wondering when I would bloom. The day I stepped off that bus and saw your face is when I started. I couldn't help myself but wonder if the look in your eyes was real or not, I was so scared you wouldn't see me for more than what everyone made me out to be. Yet you never saw that version of me that people created. You only saw me.”
“That day in the hotel when I walked out, I felt my world break. I knew at that moment it was you and only you but I was so scared I wouldn't be what you wanted or needed. I was so worried I was holding you back from the life you dreamt so heavily of because of my condition. You never saw the endometriosis, you never held those struggles against me. You love me despite all my faults.”
“Those are not faults, Y/N,” Noah wiped a tear away from her face.
Leaning into his palm, she pressed a tender kiss. “I know. It took a lot of sessions with Dr. Poulos for me to realize that I can't let my condition define me, shout out to her for that and put my head on straight.”
Everyone let out a small chuckle of laughter as Older Noah watched with a faint smile on his lips because he knew how well his Allie would relate with Y/N and their shared conditions. But with his granddaughter sitting next to him, Older Noah knew that a miracle could happen for them as well.
“I came from a broken home and was made to believe on one side that I wouldn’t get this; would get this life I created on my own and with you. I was told that no one would love me despite my condition. Not only you, Noah, but everyone here never saw me differently. You all took me in like one of your own, took Chase and Malcolm in. You all were a family but let us in on that first day of tour.”
Bryan snapped away picture after picture, cementing these vows forever with something Y/N and Noah can look back on. Especially when the butterfly on her wrist finally moved for the first time and now rested on her abdomen while Y/N spoke the final proclamation of her love for Noah.
“I always knew it was safer by your side and knew I just had to give it time. Chase and Malcolm always told me "if you can keep the love alive, you'll survive." It was so deep in my soul and I held on to that. Noah, from the moment I walked in your house for that party to the moment we finally admitted it was always going to be you and I. You will forever be worthy of my love. Every breath I take will be for you, from now until the last and after that, meet me in the epilogue so I can find that smile. Mochi, our stars aligned and I'll keep them there for as long as you let me.”
By now, there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd, especially Nicholas who watched his best friend bounce on the soles of his feet. Noah was ready to kiss his bride. But first, they exchanged rings.
“Well,” Matt cleared his throat, doing his best to mask his emotions. “We’re going to skip over the part where I ask if anyone objects because we all have been waiting for this to happen. So with that being said, by all the powers invented and by that one website, I announce you two husband and wife. Noah, for the love of the Gods, kiss your bride!”
Right as Noah reached for Y/N’s waist, the butterfly fluttered away in the same path the other had done moments ago. With a wink, Noah pulled her to his chest and brushed his lips across hers. It was slow at first, both savoring the moment as the world faded away around them, then all at once the pace increased as the invisible string between them tied the final knot to connect their souls once and for all.
“Mrs. Sebastian,” Noah brushed his nose across Y/N’s.
She broke out in a fit of giggles while wrapping her arms around Noah’s waist to bury her face in his chest. “About fucking time.”
THIRD PERSON POV
The moonlight glimmered high in the sky, bathing everyone in the yard in a luminescent glow. It was well into the evening, everyone calming down from the long day of celebration.
After the ceremony, Noah and Y/N immediately went into the house where Nicholas had his tattoo equipment set up. They each got one simple tattoo on the inside of their wrists.
Worthy.
Now they sat together in one of the large outdoor chairs with Y/N in his lap as Noah buried his face in her neck. His heart would not stop beating wildly in his chest because finally, after all the hell they overcame, they were finally where they were meant to be. They danced together for the first time as husband and wife to Just Pretend-Acoustic; the same version Noah sang to her the night he proposed.
Jolly and Astrid hung off to a secluded corner of the yard while he rested a hand over her bump. She was only a few months along but now she was showing which caused Jolly to not stop wearing that bright smile. He was beyond proud of the family he created.
Faye and Matt were in the middle of the made-up dance floor as she rambled on about all the little ideas she loved about the wedding and how she wanted their wedding to go. Matt listened intently without saying a word, simply watching his fiancé with adoration in his eyes.
Tay was sitting with Dove, both of them giggling about something, while Jesse watched from a distance. He’d been planning things all evening in his head, mapping out his life and it was evident in the way his heart lurched in his throat when Tay continued to laugh that he was feeling an emotion that was new for him. Closing the distance between them, Jesse extended a hand towards Tay, who titled his head at him.
“May I have this dance?” He asked as Repay by The Plot In You began playing through the speakers.
Tay glanced over to Dove, feeling bad it was interrupting their conversation but the brunette waved her off. “If you don’t dance with your man, I’ll push you into him.”
Once Tay was finally in Jesse’s embrace, they began to slowly move about the yard and he brushed his forehead against hers.
“I love you,” he proclaimed for the first time.
Tay’s eyes widened and leaned away from Jesse to get a good look in those chocolate boba eyes. “What?”
He cupped her cheek to lay a small yet forceful kiss to her lips. “I love you so much, darlin. It’s fine if you don’t feel the same, I just needed to-.”
“I love you too. So fucking much, Jesse. I’ve realized it for a while but was so afraid you wouldn’t feel the same yet.”
As new love blossomed, new beginnings were starting for Michael and Lori as they sat in front of the bonfire as they divulged about themselves to each other. Bryan and Davis offered to take Older Noah back to the hotel and were booking rooms for everyone else because for the first time in a week since they first arrived, Noah and Y/N would be alone.
“I have a surprise for you,” Y/N whispered in Noah’s ear as she continued to sit on his lap.
“You do?” His brows peaked as his cock twitched underneath her.
She said nothing, simply pressed a kiss to his cheek before sauntering into the house.
READER
I shook out the nerves from my hands as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. The white lace stood out against my complexion and I double checked to make sure my breasts were pressed up perfectly. Turning to the side slightly, I peaked at my ass that was barely covered by the end of the lingerie. When I found it in the store a few weeks ago, I knew immediately I had to buy it from the angel wings alone.
I never wore anything like this for Noah before which is why I was extremely nervous. While our sex life was extraordinary, I was still very unsure on how he felt about me dressing up in something like this.
“Stop being a pussy!” I pointed at my reflection. “You’re hot. You married THE Noah Sebastian!”
I quickly shook my head. “No, he married THE Y/N L/N, well now Sebastian. But that’s beside the point. You are going to bring this man to his knees. He loves you and would fuck you even if you wore a potato sack.”
Realizing I was still rambling to myself, I shook my head and quickly spritzed myself with my perfume; Noah’s new favorite of mine that smelled like peaches. Fluffing out my hair, I gave my reflection a curt nod before flipping off the lights and stepping out of the bathroom. The house was quiet, only the floor creaking beneath my feet as I crossed the hallway into the bedroom Noah and I dubbed ours. We decided to make my dads bedroom the new office, the old office our bedroom, and still keep the guest room the same.
As I walked into the bedroom, I saw Noah sitting on the end of the bed with his gaze down on the floor between his feet. He’d changed out of his wedding attire and wore only a pair of red briefs. His shoulders rose and fell with each deep breath as his hair dangled in his face but made no effort to brush it away. When he played with the new black band around his ring finger, I took in the sight of the new tattoo on the inside of his wrist, the same one I had.
Worthy.
Clearing my throat, I stood a few inches in front of Noah with my hands behind my back, trying hard not to knock into the ends of the angel wings. His head snapped up from the floor and when they landed on my form, his pupils bled darkness.
“Uh, do you like it?” I shifted on my feet, waiting for his answer.
Noah was still silent, only keeping his eyes on my breasts that were barely hidden underneath the white lace. He made no move towards me which made me start to second guess this idea.
“This was stupid,” I muttered before turning on my heels.
A hand shot out to grasp my hand, halting me, and when I glanced back I saw Noah staring up at me.
“You’re a literal fucking angel,” he mused before yanking me down to his lap.
The head of his cock pressed against the thin material of his briefs and I bit back a moan when I felt it brush along my core.
“My angel,” Noah praised while fingering the end of the wings. “Keep these on.”
I raised a brow at him while brushing away the hair from his face. “The wings doing it for you, Mochi? Do you want to chase me through the woods while you wear your mask and fuck me with them on?”
“Don’t tempt me,” he groaned while dragging his teeth over my collar bone.
With his hands on my hips, Noah guided me along his cock as I let my head fall back in bliss. I’d been wound up all week due to us deciding not to be sexual with each other and knew that if he even breathed on my clit, I would orgasm.
I gently pushed him away from me to lay him down on the bed while I fell to my knees between his legs.
“Oh fuck,” Noah ground out while letting his head fall to the bed as I dragged his briefs down the length of his thick legs.
My lips parted over the leaking head of his cock with my fingers wrapping around the base. I hummed in pure delight as the salty taste lingered on my lips when I sank my mouth down on him.
"So good," I praised looking up at him through my lashes
He groaned with pleasure as I took my time with him. I wanted to savor the way he always tasted.
"Angel," Noah warned. “Please. I need you."
I popped off of him and wiped away the drool from my chin as I rose to my feet slowly. "Is Noah Sebastian begging?"
“For my wife? Yes I am.”
"Well, who am I to make you wait," I straddled his hips once again.
Neither of us wanted to wait any longer so he undone the buttons of the lingerie teddy to expose my bare cunt to his awaiting cock. His eyes snapped up to me for a moment so I gave him a nod right before he guided himself past my wetness, the thickness of his cock filling me completely. It pulsed inside of me, earning a desperate groan.
Noah's eyes fluttered shut as his lips parted, his hands gripping my hips so tight I was sure there would be bruises in the morning. But I didn't care. Having him finally inside of me felt so fucking good.
Having my husband inside of me made my soul come alive.
I rocked my hips against him with my swollen clit rubbing against his warm stomach and I shivered at the sensation, the coil in my stomach pulling taut. Noah’s eyes jumped to the silver chain around my neck and gripped it with force to pull my lips down to his, devouring me
“Mine,” Noah demanded while fucking up into me.
I let out a silent yell when he hit the spot that made my spine ignite but the chain tightened around my throat, nearly cutting off my airway.
“Say it,” he panted. “Say your mine, Y/N.”
“I’m yours, Noah. Forever yours.”
He attacked my lips with so much force I had to rest a hand on his chest, our tongues exploring each other's mouths in a kiss so vicious it made my head spin. Noah's hips finally moved in a slow, steady stroke, and I whined into the kiss.
"More," I mumbled into his lips.
"Fuck, angel." He groaned. "It's too good."
I cupped his face to look at him. "Cum for me, Noah. Fill me up, please. I need you to cum with me.”
That's all he needed before his arms wrapped around my back, nearly crushing the angel wings, pulling me closer to his chest as his hips snapped up into me in violent strokes, the head of his cock hitting that perfect spot. I yelled out my pleasure, exposing my neck to Noah who immediately attacked it with his teeth leaving bite marks all along it.
My body hummed in a prayer-like awaking, the flames and heat burning high in my belly as my organs crested higher; so fucking high I was afraid I would combust into nothing but a matter of air. His name fell from my lips in devotion, a woman praying to her husband, and my toes curled when I finally came apart, Noah slowly falling behind me.
THIRD PERSON POV
As Y/N and Noah lay together in a mess of tangled limbs, both coming down from their shared high, he let the sounds of her deep breathing ease him into his own slumber. Her discarded lingerie and wings lay scattered on the ground and Noah made a mental note of asking Y/N on how she felt about hanging them up in their home.
He couldn’t stop watching her sleep with a smile that no one could erase. She was his. Finally Y/N was his wife and he would do whatever he could to make her happy.
Long fingers dragged up and down the snake tattoo on her back, almost like how he had the night they first lay together. The long day was coming to an end, the new chapter of their lives began tomorrow, which caused Noah to sweat all over because he couldn’t help but let the anxious thoughts creep in.
Take a breath, Noah. It’s okay.
Doing just that, he eased into the warmth Y/N proved and rested a hand on her stomach, finally letting himself succumb to the darkness.
“Love you, mochi,” she mumbled into the skin of his chest.
He kissed her forehead. “Love you more, angel.”
The rain that surrounded them in the beginning was no longer something that drowned them. It couldn’t rain all the time. Their love was forever unbroken. It created lines upon lines of memories, some old and some new. It brought about friendships that tied together as one family. All because of a miracle that had yet to present itself. They were no longer afraid of the wars that were waged against their sins. They weren’t okay in the beginning but their love proved that they no longer had to pretend. They waited each other out and Y/N would forever stay until morning.
All because they both were worthy.
#tina talks#just pretend noah sebastian#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian fanfiction#bad omens#noah sebastian#noah sebastian fics#noah sebastian smut#noah sebastian fluff#tay tay chats
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The Use of the Heart
Good evening, followers! I've got a new story for y'all. ~9.8k words. Yeah, this one's long. If you'd like to toss me a tip for it, you can drop one on my ko-fi page here. It...did take me three weeks to write this one.
Avery hadn’t gotten more than a foot out of the carriage after his sister before she was whisked away to meet her new husband. He stumbled the rest of the way out onto the stone courtyard and nearly fell on his face. “Wai—”
He bit his tongue before he could finish the protest. They were here so Lisette could meet her new husband. If the crown prince wanted to meet her fresh off the ship that had brought them here, smelling like dead fish and stale sweat from not being able to properly bathe for two weeks, then…
Then, well, at least all the treaties were already signed in case he changed his mind.
Avery righted himself. The handful of attendants Lisette had brought with her were already busy unloading her trunks and consulting with people he didn’t recognize—probably their counterparts in Alham. They would know where he was meant to go.
He made a beeline for Robin, the woman in charge of his sister’s affairs, who was blushing and smiling at a man with dark hair and neat, plain clothes in the dark blue that was Alham’s royal colors. Someone who worked for Lisette’s new husband, maybe. He pointed Robin off, and Avery immediately took her place. “Hello. I was hoping you could help me.”
The man gave him a once over that no one had ever given Avery before, then said, “With what exactly?”
“I’ve just arrived with the rest of the contingent from Ensheren. I was hoping you knew where to steer me.”
“You don’t already know what you should be doing?”
Avery’s face turned an unflattering shade of pink at the incredulity in his voice. “I’m only here to keep my sister company and help her settle into her new home. Unfortunately, as she’s already been escorted off without me to see her new husband, I’m at loose ends in the meantime. You could tell me where her rooms are and I can start there.”
The man’s eyes widened. “Siste—Ensheren sent one of its princes? Your Highness, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t told you were coming.”
Avery’s heel dug into the stone under the sole of his boot, twisting anxiously. He was too tired to deal with this. “Not one of the important ones, I’m afraid. After you’ve had your heir, your spare, your backup spare, one to handle the people, and one to handle the military, you run out of things to do with princes.”
One dark eyebrow went up. “Your parents had quite a few children.”
“They were hoping for Lisette after the second set of twins,” Avery said. “My name is Avery. And I really am here to help my sister adjust. If you could tell me where her rooms are, that would be a good start. I can help set it up for her before she returns.”
The man stared at him quietly for another long moment before saying, “Your Highness…I apologize for the bluntness, but you look like you’re about to keel over. I don’t think you’ll be much help with anything your sister needs. Give me a moment to settle things here.” He reached out and steadied Avery’s arm, and Avery was startled to find he’d been listing to one side. “You’ll be okay to wait?”
Avery nodded, and shook himself to wake up a bit more. It had taken him the entire two weeks to stop vomiting over the edge of the ship, just in time to land and find his legs wobbly again.
The man frowned at him, but let go and turned away to speak to some of the others bustling back and forth over the courtyard while Avery tried to gain his footing. He hadn’t felt so bad sitting in the carriage, but now that he was standing in full sun without Lisette, his vision was starting to blur with exhaustion.
Fortunately, his guide was back before Avery could do something stupid, like pass out on the stone in front of everyone. And he frowned the second he saw Avery. “Would you like an arm?”
Avery paused for a second. Then he said, “Yes. Please. Thank you. Whatever accepts the offer fastest.”
The man laughed, warm and full and genuine, then took Avery’s bag from him and wrapped an arm around Avery’s ribs. Avery tilted his head against the man’s shoulder and let him lead him into the—castle? Palace? Avery wasn’t sure. But it was less of a fortress than Ensheren’s royal residences. A good place for his sister to call home.
Inside was cooler, and Avery felt better immediately. His guide shifted his arm so at least a quarter of Avery’s weight was resting on his shoulder, and Avery let his settle against it, too. It was the first time since he’d gotten on that damn boat that he felt stable and his stomach stopped churning. But maybe that was because his guide smelled soothing and warm, like ginger cookies, or…or cinnamon. Whatever it was, Avery’s stomach stopped rolling over.
He managed to lift his head enough to look around as his guide practically dragged him through the polished hallways. He didn’t absorb most of it—just the impression of dark wood panels, wide windows letting in bright sunlight, and sculptures and paintings at every intersection. They passed through a set of heavy double doors in carved wood, and then into a smaller door down the hallway from that, and his guide let him go to stand on his own again.
They were in private chambers. Empty ones. Two doors were set against the far wall, and another one to Avery’s left. Between them were three couches and two armchairs, and one large table.
“These are my rooms,” his guide said. “You can bathe here and then take a nap while we wait for your sister and Kavi to come up for air and remember anyone else exists.”
“Kavi?” Avery asked.
“My brother,” his guide said. “Your sister’s new husband.”
“Your—your brother?”
His guide smiled at him. “My brother.”
The floor felt closer than it should have. “King Solon,” Avery said. “I—I’m sorry, Your Majesty. No one ever told me what you looked like.”
“I’d gathered,” the king said. “And no one told me you were coming. We’ll just have to both forgive each other. The bath is over here. I’ll find something for you to wear and I’ll put it in the dressing room.”
He left Avery alone in an alcove off of a bathing room with a bench. Avery sat down abruptly and pressed his face into his hands. He’d spent at least fifteen minutes using the king of a foreign country—the one Lisette’s fate was in the hands of—as a crutch.
While smelling like a cheap fishmonger who didn’t know what hygiene was.
What a wonderful first impression Ensheren was making on their new allies.
~~~~~~~~
The bath was large enough for Avery to stretch out in and had taps that ran fresh hot water. He slid in with a sigh and opened the jars next to him, looking for shampoo and soap. The first one had the same strong ginger scent the king had when—
When Avery had practically shoved his nose into his neck.
His face went red, and it wasn’t from the steam of the bath water.
The bottle was thin oil, though, not proper soap or shampoo. Avery left it open to scent the air while he cleaned up, and it was thick and heady in the bathroom by the time he felt properly clean and presentable The king—or someone who worked for him—had left clean clothes in the sitting room on the bench. They weren’t from his luggage, but if he didn’t have a room, no one would have unpacked his things, either. He ran his fingers over the soft fabric, then pulled them on.
Soft pants, longer socks than Avery was used to, a shirt in a pale goldenrod color, and a dark blue tunic to go over it. He fiddled with the laces, unsure how tight Alham expected people to wear their clothing. Ensheren usually wore things closely fitted.
He tightened the waist in and tucked the extra lacing inside to hide it. Might as well remind the king he was from a foreign country. Maybe it would give him some grace for treating him like a walking stick.
His face flushed again at the memory, and he fiddled with his boots, waiting for the blush to fade before he stepped back into the sitting room.
The king was curled at a desk near one of the wide windows, feet tucked next to his legs. He glanced up from whatever he was writing when Avery joined him. “Feeling any better, Your Highness?”
Avery nodded. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”
“Solon. My name is Solon.”
Avery almost laughed in surprise. His breath came out in a sudden huff anyway. “You just called me Your Highness!”
Solon grinned. “You didn’t give me permission not to. I did.”
“I’ll call you by your name if you call me Avery,” he said.
“I think that’s a fair deal, Avery.” Solon made a soft humming sound. “You should get some sleep. I’m afraid they’re still cleaning up your rooms and hauling your things in there. It’ll be a few hours, I think.”
“I—”
“Are you not tired yet? If you want to stay up for a bit, I could use your help.”
The bath had woken Avery up, although he knew he’d fall asleep in minutes if he lay down. But he didn’t have a room yet, so did Solon want him to take his bed?
Avery tore his thoughts away from that. “What did you need?”
Solon waved to the chairs nearby. “Pull one of those up.”
Avery grabbed the nearest chair and slid it to where Solon pointed, then tucked himself into it while Solon rummaged for a clean sheet of paper. He handed Avery the pen. “Your family. I’m realizing I know very little about what my brother married into.”
Avery fiddled with the pen. “Then why did you agree to it?”
“Honestly, once I saw how Kavi reacted to your sister’s letters, I was sold on the arrangement. He…well. He liked what he learned of her immediately. And the details of treaties like this aren’t my job.”
Avery frowned. “You’re the king.”
Solon tilted his head. “I am. But I—well. Alham’s parliament decides what powers the monarch has. They vote on it every five years. And while the current officials are happy enough to have me help lead and oversee laws and even introduce some of my own, details of things like this are not my forte. Far more talented people than I do that.”
“They—vote? On what you’re allowed to do?”
Solon nodded. “The laws here don’t allow them to get rid of a monarch, exactly. But they can refuse to give an unpopular monarch or one no one trusts power until they abdicate. My grandfather was blocked from doing anything for three decades until he let my father take over. And my father only won their trust back by working his way up through the legislature and learning how it worked before they let him do anything.”
Avery cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I only had the time on the ship to read up on your country, and nothing like that was mentioned. I didn’t realize.”
Solon nudged the paper closer to Avery. “A family tree, please. And what each of you does. I’d ask your sister, but I’m not willing to interrupt newlyweds on their first day and night together.”
Aver turned pink at the implication. “I can do that.”
He drew marks for both his parents first, then took up the entire width of the paper to list out his brothers. “My father is the reigning king. He spends his days meeting with his advisors and the elected governors from each of the counties at home to make decisions and decide how they’re going to go be done.”
Avery drew two branches off the same root from his parents. “These are the oldest twins. Jamie is the heir. He spends his days shadowing our father and trying to learn everything and how to run things. He has two kids with his wife, but they’re both too young to take on any responsibilities yet. Zeke is second in line. He handles all the petitioners from around the country who arrive and need to speak to someone, and figures out how to resolve things. And if he can’t, he goes to Jamie and Dad.”
Avery drew another line. “And then the next twins, Jack and Max. Jack filters things for the older ones and makes sure that they’re not overwhelmed with too many things. He decides what’s most important to get their attention first, and redirects everyone else to other ways of handling issues.”
Solon hummed. “I think Jack was the one who first sent the letters of interest to me proposing I marry your sister.”
“You?”
Solon waved his hand. “Kavi was always more interested in marriage and children than I ever was. I suggested him to your brother instead, and he accepted. Your sister will still be the mother to any heirs. Alham doesn’t need a queen or a prince consort.”
“The…the prince consort?”
“The husband to the monarch. If I had one.”
Avery’s mouth fell open. The king could have a husband, if he wanted? Something burned in his stomach. His family had never said anything about his interest in other men, but Avery was—he was useless. And Ensheren didn’t need yet another heir. It was for the best he wouldn’t have any other children.
“The…the way your country works is very different than I’d imagined,” Avery said, choking back something clogging his throat to stare at the paper.
“I’m realizing that. Is marriage between two people of the same sex not allowed in Ensheren?”
Avery lifted one hand and found it shaking, and he waggled it back and forth. “No, we….we can, mostly. But the king…my father, or my brother, could never—they—they need to have children. Have direct heirs. It’s allowed for most people, but there are people with power who just. Can’t.”
Solon stared at his shaking hand for a long moment, then said, “Tell me about Max.”
Avery forced himself to look back at the paper. “Max does whatever he wants. He’s the most charming of us. He likes to mingle with the people in town and the rest of the country without going through proper channels. It’s hard to figure out when he’s in the castle and when he’s out. And he never tells anyone what he’s up to before goes and does it. Honestly, we usually hear of his escapades from the papers first. But it means he has more information on how things are going in the country than any of the rest of us. It’s why everyone likes him so much.”
“You like him,” Solon said.
“He’s everyone’s favorite brother,” Avery said. “Even Lisette’s.”
“And yet you’re here with her and not Max.”
“I don’t think Max has ever left the country. I don’t think he wants to. Besides, he’s busy. Formally, he’s in charge of most of the internal affairs of the country before anything has to be escalated.” Avery drew the next line before Solon could ask any more questions. “This is Lennox. He grew up watching after the knights training grounds and begging him to teach them, and joined up as soon as our father finally gave him permission. He’s worked his way up the ranks to be the Ensheren’s top general now.”
Avery drew two more lines. “This one is me. And then Lisette is the youngest. She was raised expecting to be married as part of a treaty, although we didn’t know it would be with Alham until the last couple of years. She’s ready to play her ambassador role. Don’t worry. She’ll be good at it.”
Solon pushed Avery’s hand back to the line for himself. “And what do you do? You didn’t say.”
“…Not…not much of anything,” Avery said. “By the time I was old enough to realize I needed to find something, my brothers already had things handled.” He shrugged. “Right now, I’m here to help Lisette get her bearings. That’s all.”
Solon watched him silently for a moment. Avery’s face went pink again, and he set the pen down. “Ensheren doesn’t need more royalty getting involved in things, and being given a job I’m not qualified to do would only cause more problems.”
Solon frowned, and Avery hated it. He knew he was useless. He knew he wasn’t contributing anything to his country the way royalty was supposed to. He wasn’t stupid. He knew that six princes was at least two too many, and while everyone had forgiven him for not having anything to prepare for in the future as a child, and he’d managed to put it off a few more years at university, every day since he’d turned twenty-five, more and more whispers had churned, wondering what his purpose was.
“I see,” Solon said finally. “Thank you. This will be helpful. Now, you should get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when our siblings come up for air, or when your rooms are ready. Whichever comes first.”
Avery took a slow breath to calm the frustration that had been building in his chest. Sleep. In Solon’s bed. But at least it would be in another room. “Thank you.”
Solon tilted his head. “There’re pillows on the couch over there. Do you want a blanket?”
Avery jolted in place. “No! No, that’s fine. Thank you.”
He turned away before Solon could read anything on his face and realize Avery had been thinking about Solon’s bed. Avery crossed the room to the couch and lay down, facing resolutely away from Solon.
He closed his eyes, took several slow breaths, and tried not wonder what Solon’s bed looked like.
~~~~~~~~
Solon woke Avery after true dark had fallen with a hand to his shoulder. Avery usually started awake when someone shook him, but this felt more like shifting awake on the boat, gentle and dizzying.
He blinked up at Solon in the dim lamplight, shaking himself to remind himself where he was. “Wha’ izzit?” he asked, and immediately clamped his mouth shut. If he couldn’t speak properly, he shouldn’t be talking at all.
Solon laughed. “Your room is ready for you, and your sister and my brother will be joining me for dinner soon. I thought you might want to change before they get here. You’re coming?”
Right. Avery was in borrowed clothing. “I should…definitely wear something…more presentable.” Even if Solon had seen him smelling and looking like a beached fish, the crown prince didn’t have to. And he was the one Avery should be focusing on, not Solon.
And what would Lisette have to say if Avery showed up to dinner looking rumpled and dressed in clothes that weren’t his?
…He definitely needed to change.
“I’d like to get ready,” he managed.
“Of course.” Solon helped him to his feet with a warm hand, soft except for the small finger callouses Avery was used to on artists. “I’ll show you your rooms. You can make it back here on your own, do you think, or would you like me to wait for you?”
Avery shrugged, and trailed quietly after Solon through the halls. Solon hummed something quietly to himself, but didn’t interrupt Avery’s contemplation of the palace walls now that he was awake enough to take it in properly.
The windows were wide and bright, the courtyards huge and full of gardens and not soldiers, and the walls hung with sculptures and paintings.
It felt safe. It would be a good place for Lisette to live. An unworried home without any need to be on guard constantly. Ensheren hadn’t seen a war in the last four decades, but the castle they’d been born into and all the ones they’d traveled between were still built with the lingering need to barricade in mind.
Solon’s home seemed more like a public showcase. Like it was designed to welcome people, like it belonged to the people, the way Solon’s job did.
Solon waved Avery into a series of small rooms—a bedroom, a small sitting room with a desk as if Avery had any guests to greet in Alham, and an attached washroom. Not lavish, but—it would do.
“It’s only two hallways,” Avery said. “I think I can make it back.”
Solon smiled. “Then I’ll see you shortly.”
Solon left him alone with a wave, and Avery dug through his wardrobe, pleased to find everything already unpacked and hung up for him. Avery didn’t normally fuss about his clothes, but normally he wasn’t meeting his sister’s husband.
Or trying to change someone’s horrible first impression of him. Avery was the useless prince of Ensheren, but he was still a prince. He could impress if he tried.
Hopefully.
He threw the borrowed—gifted—clothes onto his bed and swapped it out for his best pants, woven in a tight herringbone than shifted between gray and crimson, buttoned a gold shirt over it with dark brown buttons that matched his eyes, and wrapped it in place with a burgundy vest. Not the royal colors of Ensheren anymore than they were Alham’s—but they were Avery’s best colors, and he wanted to look nice. He rummaged through the wardrobe until he found his dark red coat and slid it on before brushing his hair out of the sleep mussed disaster and washed his face.
And then it was time to face Solon again.
Avery knocked at Solon’s door before opening it, and all three people in the room turned to him with a bright, “Avery!”
Avery froze at the sound of his name in unison from so many voices, then held up his hand to wave slightly, and drop it.
“Um. Hello.”
Solon smiled warmly, and Avery tore his eyes away from studying his face, hoping for surprise or at least approval, to meet his sister’s gaze. She’d gotten a bath and her hair curled down her back in loose waves over her nicest, newest dress.
She wanted to look nice for her husband. Good. That meant she liked him.
“Lisette,” he said. “You’re—” He stopped himself, then restarted, “You look nice.”
“So do you,” she said, eying him skeptically. “You put in effort.”
She still had one arm looped through her husband’s. It was easy to see that Solon was his brother, now that Avery had seen them both. They had the same dark hair fighting a wave, the same bright blue eyes, the same tall, slender build. Neither Solon nor Kavi was built to be a fighter like Lennox was, but neither was Avery. “Should I not want to make a good impression on your husband? I thought it would be good to at least try.”
The crown prince laughed and reached a hand out to shake Avery’s. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Avery ducked his head into a bow before shaking his hand. “Your Highness.”
“Kavi. My name is Kavi. And yours is Avery.”
“Kavi,” Avery agreed. “I’m glad to see my sister seems so eager to impress you.”
“Avery!” Lisette said, turning pink the same way he did.
“What? It means that you still like him as much as you did from the letters.”
Kavi laughed, a deep, warm sound that dragged another smile out of Avery. He was kind. He was friendly. And he kept turning toward Lisette like a magnet.
All good signs.
“Let’s eat,” Solon said, pulling the warming covers off the serving trays.
Kavi pulled a chair out for Lisette, then took the seat next to her. Avery took the seat next to Solon more gingerly than necessary and folded his hands in his lap, uncertain what pre-dinner rituals Alham observed.
Apparently, none, because Kavi started scooping noodles onto his plate as soon as Avery slid his chair closer to the table, and Solon stirred a pot of potatoes in some red-yellow glaze that was tangy enough to make Avery’s mouth water from across the table.
He took several thick pieces of bread, still warm, and buttered them, and slowly filled the rest of the plate with food. But he waited for Solon to take his first bite before he started eating.
Solon nudged Avery’s arm before he could get more than two bites into the lovely, warm duck and offered him a ladle filled with the sauced potatoes. “You should try these. They’re my favorite.”
“If you don’t like them, tell me and I’ll smack Solon for you,” Kavi said. “I asked for our chef to come up with something close to Ensheren’s food for you. I thought it would be good to acclimate you slowly. She even got a recipe book. But Solon cannot go a day without those damn potatoes.” Solon jerked under the table like he’d been kicked, and Kavi grinned at his brother.
“They taste good,” Solon said, sounding petulant and everything he hadn’t been the entire day while Avery collapsed on him. Lisette giggled into her bread and Avery couldn’t help a grin crawling onto his face.
“That does explain why you have peppered duck,” Lisette told her husband. “You remembered?”
Kavi turned to her with a smile that softened like butter over the bread Avery was busy shoveling into his mouth. “I would have double checked before asking our chef if I hadn’t.”
Avery’s chest warmed. Kavi and Lisette had been exchanging letters constantly for nearly two years already. They knew each other, even if they’d only met in person for the first time that day. He didn’t need to worry. Lisette knew what she was getting into far better than Avery did. She would be fine.
“You’re getting along well.”
Lisette pinked. “We’ve had a good day.”
“And I look forward to the next ones,” Kavi said, reaching over a tray of dumplings to touch her hand.
She smiled at him. “So do I.”
Avery fell quiet as he finished eating, eyes on his plate instead of his sister. She would be fine. Alham would be a good home. Kavi would be a good husband. Every single one of their brothers had insisted he accompany her, and even their mother had pulled Avery aside to give him her best guilt trip over his hesitance.
Maybe that would be for the best for Lisette. She didn’t need anyone to intervene.
He let Lisette and Kavi’s gentle flirting and Kavi teasing his brother wash over him without feeling the need to add anything. They were all content with each other, and he was content to know that.
Except that Kavi and Lisette and Solon all kept glancing at him, waiting for him to say something, and continuing with awkward pauses when he didn’t add anything. And by the time Avery had cleared his plate, Lisette had, clearly, gotten fed up with it. “Avery,” she said, “Kavi wants to know who my family is, too. And you’re the only one he’s getting the chance to before the wedding, and that isn’t for months. Will you please act like yourself?”
Avery startled in his chair. “What?”
“I miss the brother who used to sneak out of the castle with me and help me climb apple trees and bought me all the books our parents thought I shouldn’t be reading and taught me how to waltz after curfew.”
Avery blinked. “But Max did all of that.”
“Max did all of that with you. You’re the one that did all of that with me.”
Avery laughed. He couldn’t help it. “Max did not teach me how to waltz, Lisette.”
“He didn’t teach me either! Avery, I spent so much time telling Kavi about you. I want him to actually meet you. Stop being so quiet.”
“I was quiet at home, too,” Avery said, trying to bite back another laugh. “I’m tired. Give me a day or two.”
She leaned across the table to stare him down. “If you’re not acting like yourself in the week, I’m going to chase you around the courtyard with a stick.”
Avery’s helpless laughter was drowned out that time by Kavi’s, and Avery’s eyes darted to him again. He grinned at Avery—not worried about what Lisette had said, then—and stood up. “I think that’s a good reminder to all of us to get some sleep. Perhaps when you’ve gotten a chance to settle in here, Lisette won’t have to threaten you anymore.” He turned to his wife. “Let me escort you back to your rooms. They’re attached to mine if you need anything.” He winked. “Although with any luck, I’ll have wooed you into sharing my bed by our wedding.”
Solon made a disgusted sound from the back of his throat. “Kavi! Don’t be so crass. Her brother doesn’t want to hear that.”
Kavi stuck his tongue out at his brother. “That wasn’t crass, Solon. I was expressing interest. I kow explaining that to you is like trying to tell a fish about the desert, but it’s not inappropriate.”
Solon flushed red. “I’m not that bad.”
“And neither am I. Now I’m going to take my wife and settle in for the night. Good night, Solon.” He inclined his head to Avery. “It was good to meet you, Avery. I hope we’ll get some more time together once you’ve settled in here better.”
He escorted Lisette out the door, and Avery turned to Solon. “Thank you for your hospitality today. It…it’s been more than I could have expected.”
Solon raised an eyebrow as Avery straightened. “And why’s that?”
“Well I—I’m an uninvited guest. And yet—”
Solon gave him a smile, warm and bright, and it made Avery’s stomach flip over itself in a dangerous way. “I’ve been happy to help, don’t worry.”
“Right,” Avery said, which he was distantly aware wasn’t the right thing to say. He backed up towards the open door. “I’ll let you attend to your bed, then.”
He darted out the door before his face could turn red again and before he had to think about Solon and beds again.
~~~~~~~~
“Avery! I was wondering where you’d gone. You didn’t answer when I tried your door earlier.”
Avery straightened from where he was bent inspecting the palace garden’s flowers. “Solon! I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’d be looking for me.”
Solon grinned. “If nothing else, I am expected to play host to royal visitors. And you’re the only one here that isn’t married to my brother.” He waved an arm back the way he came. “So let me do my job and show you around Alham’s capital.”
It wasn’t as if Avery had any reason to say no. And with the way Solon was smiling, he didn’t want to, either. So he smiled back, nodded, and let Solon lead him out of the palace and into the streets.
With no guards, at least none visible. Solon was dressed in the same unassuming clothing that had Avery mistake him for an attendant instead of a king, and no crown was in sight, but Avery still felt strange as they left the palace grounds, like someone had forgotten to give him a jacket in the winter. Like a weight was missing.
“Today we can go on foot,” Solon said. “We can’t reach everywhere in the city that way, but there’s plenty to see in walking distance.”
Avery nodded and stepped closer to him when a carriage passed by on the street, driving straight past the palace gates. Solon took the opportunity to lean in and whisper conspiratorially, “To be honest, most of my favorite places aren’t close, but maybe Kavi had a point in acclimating you slowly.”
Avery laughed and Solon grinned back like he was surprised to hear it.
“Well, what fun are you taking us to today?”
“I was going to start with the high street shops. Not that I’m trying to drum up the local economy, although parliament would probably like me to. But it’s also where the most…polite…street performers gather and it’s a good place to see everyone from all parts of the city head to shop. Unless you’d rather do something else? I could do my best to keep you off kilter so your sister chases you around with a stick.”
Avery shoved at Solon’s shoulder without thinking about it, the same way he would have any of his brothers. Solon didn’t budge, and Avery drew his hand back like he’d burned it. “I—I’m sorry.”
Solon caught his wrist before Avery could withdraw completely. “Avery, the treaties between our countries are already signed and I’m not going to take Kavi’s wife away from him.” He’d pitched his voice low and soft like he was talking to a skittish cat, and Avery felt tension melt from his face and shoulders embarrassingly quickly. “You don’t have to worry about offending me. It won’t cause any harm if you do, and I won’t hold it against you, either. We’re both getting to know each other. Are you going to do anything against Alham because I didn’t know who you were when we met?”
Avery blinked. “But you didn’t do anything.”
“I thought you were one of Lisette’s attendants trying to get out of work.”
“So? I thought you were your brother’s.”
Solon laughed. “See? We’re even. We’ve both done things that could have offended each other, and neither of us are mad. Right?”
Avery glanced sideways at him for a moment. “All right. You have a point.”
“So you’ll stop trying to be so careful?”
Avery lifted one shoulder. “I think you’ll be disappointed in how I act when I’m relaxed. Lisette made me sound much more adventurous than I am.”
“That’s okay. We’re starting small today. We can work our way out into the city as far as you’re willing to push yourself. Or until you start kicking me.”
Avery ducked his head and then smiled. “Is that always how Kavi gets you to leave him alone?”
Solon pressed a finger to Avery’s mouth. “Don’t go telling everyone his secrets.”
Avery’s breath caught until Solon dropped his hand away from Avery’s mouth again, and he pressed his lips together to imprint the feeling on them.
And so he didn’t say anything stupid.
~~~~~~~~
It was apparent by the time the week was out—and Lisette’s deadline had come—that Solon had every intention of taking Avery somewhere in the capital city every single day. At least until Lisette’s wedding, which was only five weeks away.
It was more attention than Avery was used to. More attention than he knew what to do with. But two weeks into his stay, he managed to hide away with Lisette for one of her dress fittings.
“Well, you’re having fun with Solon, aren’t you?” Lisette asked. “Right?”
Avery narrowed his eyes at her, trying to figure out if she was trying to imply anything. He and Solon had done nothing remotely scandalous. The fact that Solon’s smile and presence was enough to flip Avery’s heart over in his chest wasn’t the point. But his sister could tell. She always knew when he she saw him with someone he’d gotten a crush on.
“I’m enjoying myself here,” Avery agreed before immediately changing the subject away from Solon. “More importantly, are you? Because one of us is staying here after the wedding, and one of us is going home with our parents and brothers. Has Kavi been showing you around?”
Lisette huffed. “We’ve been busy.”
“Busy with each other, or busy with the wedding? Because—”
“Oh, just because I’m not in charge of all of the details doesn’t mean I’m not involved in my own wedding, Avery! It’s in a month and I only just got here and I don’t know anyone yet and—”
Avery clamped his mouth shut as his sister ran out of steam. She was stressed—of course she was; she was trying to build an entirely new life somewhere she’d never been, and Avery had decided she was fine and spent his days entirely occupied with Solon and his ginger cologne that—no, Avery did not need to find someone to bring back to Ensheren. “What can I do to help?”
“Avery—”
“That’s what I’m here for, isn’t it? Our brothers were pretty clear about that. I want to help you if I can, Lisette. Please.”
She rolled her eyes at him, but she smiled while she did it. “So you’re only helping me because they asked you to? Not because you think I need help?”
“Your Highness,” the dressmaker said, kneeling at her waist, “I appreciate your spirit, but if you could have this conversation more sedately at least while I’m trying to pin things in place.”
Lisette went red up to her hairline. “I’m sorry. I haven’t had this done in a while.”
“You had this done two months ago to get that dress you wanted when you saw Kavi for the first time,” Avery said.
His sister scowled at him. “Will you hush?”
“You wanted me to be like this. Threatened me with a stick,” Avery said. “Now tell me what I can do to help you adjust here.”
Lisette’s shoulders slumped, but she caught herself before she did anything more to disturb the dressmaker’s work. “I don’t know, Avery. I just want some time alone with my husband again to get to know him and this country better.
A clap came from the door. “Done.”
Both Lisette and Avery jumped and turned to look at Solon leaning against the door frame. The dressmaker sighed and stood up to take a break and fetch something from his work kit.
“Solon!” Lisette said. “What are you doing here?”
“I was looking for your brother. But if what you need is a day alone with my brother and this city, I can make that happen easily. The wedding details can manage a day without you. In fact, maybe even getting out of the city would be good. Our mother lives out of the city on a large estate near the woods. Would you like to visit her? It’s quiet and private there, but maybe meeting your husband’s mother wouldn’t help.”
Lisette blinked. “Your mother is still alive?”
Solon frowned. “I’m only thirty-one. My father’s death five years ago was very shocking, but it didn’t put my mother in any poorer health. She’s still quite young. She just wasn’t chosen as the next monarch.”
Thirty-one. When Solon had been Avery’s age, he’d taken up a crown. And Avery wasn’t even able to help his sister relax.
Lisette’s mouth opened into a soft circle. “Kavi gave me a brief explanation of how the lineage works here, but I didn’t realize your mother was still alive. Will she be coming to the wedding?”
“Of course. In the meantime, however, what would you like to do to squirrel away some alone time with my brother? I’m happy to do whatever I need to make it happen.”
Lisette hesitated, and the dressmaker attacked her waist with pins while she stood thoughtful and still.
“I think,” she said, “I would like to meet your mother before the wedding. Would she…what’s she’s like?”
“Cheerful, no nonsense, and very pleased Kavi found someone he likes so much,” Solon said. “I can’t promise she won’t have any questions for you, but I think she’ll be quite welcoming—and even if she gives you a proper interrogation, it’ll certainly be a distraction. I can pack you and Kavi off before nightfall and you’ll be there before morning.”
Avery nodded enthusiastically. “Just give me a list of things to handle while you’re gone, Lisette. I can at least do that much for you.”
“I…are you sure?” Lisette asked, pausing with a frown.
“Do you think I won’t do it properly?” Avery asked. “It’s for you, Lisette. I’ll do my best.”
Lisette laughed. “It has nothing to do with that at all, Avery. It just seems strange to let you handle things here while I go somewhere without you.”
Avery stood up, and sidestepped the dressmaker to take his sister’s hands. “That’s what this entire trip is meant to be. Go spend time with your husband. I’ve got this.”
~~~~~~~~
Avery did not have things. His sister left for a week see Kavi and Solon’s mother, leaving Avery with a list as long as his forearm to see to. And he only knew how to do one of them—checking the translation of the wedding program for the foreign guests. But he’d asked after that first. It wasn’t ready to be looked at yet.
And so he gave up his borrowed desk in his borrowed rooms and took the list to Solon’s room, hoping to plead help from him yet again.
Solon answered the door with a surprised smile and welcomed him inside immediately.
“Do you need something?”
“I’m sorry. I know we agreed that you wouldn’t need to host me this week while I took care of Lisette’s things, but I was hoping you could at least direct me to who I need to talk to. Lisette has been handling all of this alone.”
While Solon took him sight-seeing and showed off his favorite statues and museums and strange buildings, and they laughed at things for hours. But Solon knew that.
Solon waved that off. “It was starting to get boring without you around anyway.” He gestured to his desk. “I’ve actually had to get work done.”
Avery couldn’t help a smile at that. “As far as I can tell, Lisette is working on blending marriage traditions, but I don’t know if you have anyone besides the two of us who’s familiar with the traditions in Ensheren, or who I should speak to about implementing them.”
Solon snagged the list Lisette made out of Avery’s hands and spent a few quiet moments reading it. Avery let him and glanced around the room. It looked about the same as every other time he’d been in Solon’s rooms, except that his desk looked like it was being rapidly devoured by papers. And Solon looked the same, except that his hair had definitely had hands running through it, because the waves had gotten untamed and curled up at every angle.
Avery did his best not to stare as Solon read and then handed the list back to him. “None of this should be complicated. Either your sister was making things easy for you, or she managed to tie herself up in knots about it from stress. I know the wedding is only in three weeks, but,” Solon stretched his arms wide, “we’re royalty. This wedding is a national holiday, and a sign of goodwill when your family arrives. Everyone is going to do everything possible to make it happen properly on short notice. Honestly, I could give that list to my secretary and it would be done before your sister comes back tomorrow.”
“Lisette asked me to do it,” Avery said. “I’d like to see to it myself. I don’t doubt your secretary, but…”
Solon nodded once. “Of course. Jan is probably extremely busy as is. He’s had enough to take care of with both of you here. So.” He reached back to the list and tapped the first item. “We can take care of several of these things by talking to the priest. I haven’t had a chance to show you the temple yet, but we have a nondenominational one in the palace. The priest who will be officiating the service works there, and she can refer us to someone who can help with how you do your vows to ensure we do both.”
“We?” Avery asked.
“Avery, I’m very tired of paperwork today. Let me with you, please. Anything to get moving.”
Avery laughed. “Well, I can’t say no to the king.”
“You’ve said no to me three times in the last week,” Solon said, slinging an arm around Avery’s shoulders to steer him back out the door.
~~~~~~~~
Working out wedding details with Solon was much more nerve wracking that it had any right to be. It wasn’t his wedding. But seeing Solon smile at him in the largest chapel Avery had ever seen near the altar while Avery repeated the same steps his sister would make to arrive before the priest and demonstrate taking Solon’s hands as she would Kavi’s, and then teaching the priest how to tie their hands together with his sister’s sash was—
Well. Avery’s heart certainly got more of a workout than he would have if he’d gone sprinting for the same amount of time.
Fortunately, he didn’t have to dance with Solon to set up room for the family dances Ensheren enjoyed to celebrate the unions. He didn’t have to touch Solon while going over the most important menu items with their cook. And he didn’t even have to make eye contact while sorting out who would be kneeling, who would be standing, and when.
They broke from the palace again to hurry over to see the priest from Ensheren. Alham’s capital had a small immigrant population and traveling community—it would get larger now that Lisette was married to Kavi—enough, at least to have a small district devoted to them and their own cultural buildings.
“I can’t believe this place existed in your city and didn’t take me here first,” Avery said as they settled into a carriage to head across the city. “What was that about trying to give me time to adjust slowly?”
“It’s not adjusting if you just insulate yourselves with your people, is it?” Solon asked. “Besides, it takes forever to get there. Do you think they’ll recognize you?”
“Maybe. If they’ve been home recently.”
“Mmm. So you’ve been at more of your official events than you like to pretend.”
“Well, I attend them,” Avery said. “I don’t do much more than that.”
“Mhm. I’m sure.”
Avery kicked at Solon’s shin lightly and then turned red at the familiarity. Kavi did that. But Kavi was Solon’s brother. Avery just wanted the excuse to touch him.
“Hey!” Solon said, breaking into laughter. “What was that for?”
“Don’t sound so skeptical. You’ll see when my family gets here. They’ll take over all the final details without me having to do anything.”
“And yet Lisette wants you next to her at the altar, not any of them.”
“Well, she only gets one,” Avery said, avoiding Solon’s eyes. “And I don’t have another role to perform.”
“I don’t think Max is her favorite brother,” Solon said. “That’s all.”
“She’s not even the one who asked me to come. The rest of our family sent me with her. They were very pushy about it.”
Solon sat up straighter in his seat. “Oh. I didn’t realize that.”
Avery shrugged. He didn’t like thinking about it. Lisette hadn’t picked him, and the rest of his family wanted him out of their way for weeks. It made sense, but it still stung. Avery had always done his best, if not to help, at least not cause problems for anyone.
He thought he was still succeeding. Solon liked him, at least. If he and Kavi hadn’t both made it so clear that Solon never thought about romance, he would have even called it flirting. But a friendship with a king was no small thing.
Except when his sister was married to the crown prince of the same country. Then, a friendship didn’t matter. And neither did Avery’s crush on him.
~~~~~~~~
The night before Avery and Lisette’s parents and brothers arrived for the wedding, Alham held a celebration. It would last into the next days, to greet their new allies. It would last at least a week, even with the wedding festivities shortly after.
But the night before they arrived, they heralded the start of the holidays with fireworks.
Solon took Avery out of the palace to watch. He settled them on a patch of grass in a park he’d taken Avery to the first week he’d been there, high on the far edge of the city, with a view of the entire sprawl of buildings beneath them. Plenty of people had joined them to watch the show in the sky over the harbor, setting out blankets and picnic baskets.
“What about Kavi and Lisette?” Avery asked as he settled into one of the same blankets he’d borrowed his first day in Alham to sleep on Solon’s couch. He was wearing the same gold shirt he been given then under his favorite red coat, too.
“Kavi is almost certainly going to take Lisette to the top towers in the palace to watch,” Solon said, unpacking the bag of snacks he’d brought with them. “It’s more private and closer to the fireworks. He likes it better. I think it’s more comfortable to watch fireworks up here.”
Avery hummed. He had to agree. Watching in the palace seemed fancy. Exclusive. But he was with everyone else in Alham who wanted to be there, with Solon at his side, and he could imagine Max wandering around making friends with everyone. Avery couldn’t manage that sociableness, but he liked the idea of it.
It felt like where Avery belonged.
Lisette would like the privacy, though. She’d never gotten much, as the only princess of Ensheren. Avery could blend in better among their brothers.
“Is Kavi nervous?” he asked. “Lisette is torn between nervous and excited. But like you said, everything’s already official. This is just the party to celebrate it.”
“You know, I actually don’t think he is,” Solon said, settling onto the blanket next to Avery and folding his legs so he could rest his arms on his knees. “But he’s never been the type for nerves.”
“Lucky him.”
Solon laughed much louder than Avery’s muttered aside deserved. “I know. I’ve always been jealous. He would have been better at being king than I was, but that wasn’t how the votes went.”
“They get to design your job to your strengths, don’t they?” Avery said. “Yours were what they wanted, not Kavi’s.”
Solon raised an eyebrow and gave Avery the same once over he had when they first met. Avery felt his cheeks go as pink as they did the first day, too, but the sky was almost dark enough that he could believe Solon didn’t see it this time. “And what are my strengths, Avery? Why would they pick me over Kavi?”
Avery went redder, and this time he knew Solon saw it because his grin widened. “You…you’re thoughtful. You know everything about this city, at least, and you can tell me anything about your country any time I have a question about anything. You know how to solve problems, more neatly than I ever would. You know exactly who to ask for help and how. Who wouldn’t want you to be in charge?”
Solon’s mouth fell open and for a brief moment, he was visibly speechless. Then he looked away, swallowed, and recovered enough to say, “Thank you. That’s quite the compliment.”
Before Avery had to think of something else to say to that, the first explosion overhead broke. He turned in unison with Solon and every other person in the park with them toward the sparks of light breaking up the dark sky over the harbor.
Avery had always liked fireworks. He’d though of them as pretty things as a kid, like the paintings on his wall, but when he’d asked how to make them, the chemistry of it had overwhelmed him until he’d given up understanding.
They were magic. Made by talented, clever people with a purpose. And the purpose was to make people happy.
Solon edged closer as the show went on and the air cooled. Avery tightened his jacket around him and leaned closer to Solon’s warm skin.
And he stayed there after the last firework went off and those around them started to pack up and leave, his eyes on the sky. Until Solon shifted close enough to jostle Avery’s shoulder and Avery turned with an apology in his throat for waiting too long after the fireworks were done to help pack things up and leave.
But Solon wasn’t trying to pack up their blankets. He was staring at Avery, his eyes unreadable in the dark, his mouth soft and open.
Avery’s eyes drifted to the shadows playing on Solon’s face from the few lamps in their park that had slowly started being relit now that the fireworks were over. Drifted down to his mouth and stared at it, listing forward the way he had the first day they met and he was unstable and ill and Solon was the only thing keeping him upright.
“Avery,” Solon said, his voice soft, and Avery jolted upright, shaking himself. He’d been about to kiss Solon. Solon, who wasn’t interested in any of that. Solon, who was absolutely not an option for any of a hundred other reasons—starting with the fact that their siblings were married and there was no point. If Solon was going to get married, it would have to be to someone useful.
Solon startled himself as Avery set into action and stood, and he slowly started packing their things up as if he’d just woken from a dream.
Or a nightmare.
Avery avoided Solon the next morning. And the next afternoon. And it was easy to do it at first, with the chaos of preparing for far more royal guests than Lisette or Avery themselves represented. Avery managed to keep well out of his way all the way up until it was time to have dinner with his parents and brothers, and Lisette, Kavi, and Solon, and Solon’s mother.
Solon caught him on the way to the proper dining hall—Solon’s room wouldn’t fit so many people for dinner—and stopped him with a hand to his arm. “Avery! I expected to see you around today. Where have you been?”
“I’ve been around,” Avery said, looking away immediately. “It’s easy not to notice when there’s so many of us.”
“Except that I was looking for you, specifically, not a prince from Ensheren,” Solon said. “And you’ve not been around at all. Are you avoiding your family?”
“What? No, nothing like that.”
“Then what happened?”
“I just think too much has been happening,” Avery said. “There’ve been so many people to help adjust.”
There was a pained sound to their side, and Avery and Solon both turned to see Kavi with Lisette on his arm further down the hallway. Kavi dropped Lisette’s arm and stepped forward, grabbing Avery’s hand with his arm.
“Avery,” he said, “my brother is bad at this. He has no practice, because he’s never wanted to do this before. But he is trying to find out if you want to stay here in Alham. He’s spent the last six weeks trying to convince you to stay, hoping you’d fall in love with the country, so he could keep you around.”
Solon’s face turned redder with every word from his brother. But he didn’t argue or protest any of it.
“Will you—please, Avery, just put my brother out of his misery and tell him if you’re going to stay or not. Before dinner, please. I can’t imagine having to sit through an entire meal with the two of you so awkward around each other.”
Lisette tugged on her husband’s arm. “We should leave them be,” she said. “Avery, don’t come to dinner until you’re done talking to Solon about this. Please.”
“Lise—”
But she didn’t stop, and she and Kavi had turned the corner before Avery could even finish her name, leaving him alone again with Solon.
Avery turned back to Solon, unsure what to say after that. “Um.”
“I—uh.”
They stared at each other in awkward silence for a long moment before Solon finally broke it again. “So? Are you willing to stay? Here? Even after your parents leave?”
“You…you really want me to?”
Solon grabbed for Avery’s hands and took them in both of his. “Avery. I’ve liked you from the moment I met you. I didn’t even know I could like someone the way I like you. But you’re not useless, and you’re not unwanted. You care. You want to know everything about everyone, and you want to do your best to help. Maybe—maybe starting over somewhere without the expectations and your siblings taking care of so much will make it easier for you to find something to do here. You’ve always wanted to date men, haven’t you? Spend your life with one? And your parents and siblings all pushed you to come here, where that’s….where you can do that. They like you, Avery—you’ve never once said you don’t get along with them. And they wanted you to come here, where they wouldn’t be hanging over your head and—and maybe you could marry someone if you wanted.”
Avery blinked, then looked down at their hands. “You really think that’s what they were trying to do?”
“So much so that I asked Lisette about it, and she turned pink the same way you do when you get caught. She asked if I was trying to keep you.”
Avery ducked his head against a growing smile. He could see Lisette asking that. Could see her hoping for that. “If you’ve wanted me to fall in love with Alham, you’ve succeeded. And if….if you wanted me to fall in love with you, then…well…it’s still early. But I think you’re succeeding there, too.”
Solon’s face brightened like the sun and his smile could have cracked his face in half. “So you’ll stay?”
“I’ll have to talk to my parents about it,” Avery said, worming his hands out of Solon’s to rest them on his shoulders. “But if you’re right, I think they’ll be happy for me to stay here. Especially if we have a treaty and they’ll have someone to take care of Lisette.”
“And Lisette can take care of you,” Solon said, tucking his hands around Avery’s waist.
“Mmm,” Avery agreed, a grin growing across his face. “Now if you want me to stay, Your Majesty, perhaps you should start proving it with a kiss?”
Solon’s hands tightened as he jolted in surprise, and he met Avery halfway.
#writing#my writing#The Use of the Heart#I guess#literally just threw a title together#it's awful#the story's not#read it#and if you feed it to ChatGPT on purpose I'll haunt you with a rusty knife
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hi, it's actually my first time sending a request. I stumbled ipkn your blog and found it fascinating.
My request is actually for the series sunshine behind the camera, could you please make one where Isabela and the boys explore the area (the country or place where the race takes place) and tru it's cuisine?
No pressure and if you don't want to do it it's okay.
Also remember to stay warm❤️
Enjoy reading and send some requests!!!
-xoxo babygirl 🤍
Part 2 Part 4
Bahrain 🇧🇭
It was the first race of the season, and excitement buzzed in the air as the drivers, team members, and fans all gathered in the paddock, eager to see how McLaren would perform. The Bahrain Grand Prix was always special – not only because it marked the start of a new chapter in Formula 1, but also because it gave everyone the chance to experience the rich culture of Bahrain.
The McLaren team had something extra planned for their fans this time: a video, showcasing some traditional Bahraini dishes, as a thank-you to the fans who had supported them throughout the winter break. And, of course, there was the added bonus of seeing Lando and Oscar try those dishes in front of a camera. Isabella, the team's photographer, had been asked to film the whole thing.
Isabella wasn’t exactly thrilled about being on camera. She was camera-shy, preferring to capture moments rather than be the center of attention. But when her friends, Oscar and Lando, asked her to join in on the fun, she couldn’t say no. Besides, how could she resist a challenge that promised both food and fun?
She had just finished snapping photos of the cars being prepped for the race when she received the message from the team’s social media manager.
“Hey Isabella, can you join Oscar and Lando for a video? We’ve got a bunch of traditional Bahraini dishes for them to try, and the fans are really excited about seeing you in the video with them. You’re the only one who can handle the spicy stuff, we know it!”
Her heart skipped a beat. The last part caught her off guard – she was known for having an iron stomach when it came to spice. But a video? With everyone watching? That was a different story.
She sighed and looked over at Oscar, who was already grinning at her from across the garage. Lando, on the other hand, was casually chatting with a few engineers, seemingly oblivious to the video being planned.
Oscar caught her eye and winked. “You’ll be fine. Besides, it’ll be fun. We’ll make sure to take care of you if it gets too spicy,” he teased.
Isabella gave him a small, nervous smile, but nodded in agreement. “Okay, I’ll do it. But I’m not sure how good I’ll be in front of the camera…”
“You’re perfect for it,” Oscar assured her, his voice full of encouragement.
“Come on, you’ve got this!” Lando shouted from the other side of the garage. He gave a thumbs-up. “And if you need help with the food, just let me know.”
Isabella’s nerves were eased by their enthusiasm. It felt like a team effort – she wasn’t going to be alone on camera. It was all about having fun, right?
A few moments later, they were all set up in the team’s hospitality area, the table laden with an array of traditional Bahraini dishes: machboos, kebabs, hummus, shawarma, and an array of small, spicy side dishes that made Isabella's stomach rumble with excitement. But she was still a bit uncertain about how the video would go.
The camera was rolling, and the three of them stood behind the table, with Isabella taking a deep breath. “Okay, here we go,” she said softly, glancing at the camera crew.
Lando flashed a grin at the lens, clearly excited. “Hey everyone! Welcome to our Bahrain special! As you can see, we’ve got some delicious traditional Bahraini food here, and today, we’re going to give it a go. But there’s a catch – we’ve got a spicy challenge for you all.”
Oscar leaned in, giving a mock-serious look to the camera. “That’s right. We’ve got some seriously spicy stuff, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it…”
Isabella chuckled. “I think you’ll both do just fine.” She gave a small smile, her usual shyness creeping in, but she was determined to make it fun.
They all picked up their first dish: machboos, a spiced rice dish that smelled incredible, with a generous portion of grilled chicken on top. Isabella took a bite without hesitation, savoring the flavors.
Oscar glanced over at her, then tried his portion. “This is actually really good!” he said, his eyes wide with surprise. “But it’s got a little kick to it…”
Lando, already eyeing the small bowls of sauce next to the dishes, was cautious. He took a small bite of the rice, then nodded. “Not bad,” he said, his voice betraying a hint of wariness. “But it’s not the spicy part, right?”
“Not yet,” Isabella replied with a grin, before taking another bite.
The camera zoomed in as Lando picked up a small bowl of bright red, fiery-looking sauce and dipped a piece of bread into it. Oscar’s eyes widened.
“Lando, no,” Oscar warned, laughing. “That stuff is seriously spicy. You don’t want to do that.”
But Lando was already taking a bite, grinning mischievously at the camera. “I’ve got this,” he said confidently.
Isabella just shook her head and chuckled. “Good luck.”
It didn’t take long before the heat hit. Lando’s face turned bright red, and he began coughing immediately. His hand shot to his mouth, trying to stifle the inevitable reaction to the spice.
“Whew, that’s… that’s hot,” Lando gasped, his eyes watering.
Oscar and Isabella burst out laughing. “I told you not to do it,” Oscar teased, grabbing a bottle of water and passing it over to Lando.
But Lando wasn’t done. “No way, I’ve got this,” he said, determination in his voice, though his face was still turning pink. He reached for another piece of bread and dipped it in more of the spicy sauce.
Isabella’s laughter echoed through the room. “You’re a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?”
Oscar, trying to hold back his laughter, nodded. “I swear, he enjoys torturing himself.”
Lando’s face scrunched up again as the heat intensified. “Okay, okay, I give up,” he said, finally putting the bread down. He took a large gulp of water and gasped for air. “You two are definitely made for this kind of food.”
Isabella took another bite of the rice, completely unbothered by the spice. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is nothing.”
Oscar’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You’re seriously not even feeling it?”
“Nope,” Isabella replied with a smile, clearly enjoying the challenge. “I’ve got a pretty strong tolerance for spice.”
Lando let out a dramatic sigh, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. “You’re insane. I’m dying here and you’re just sitting there like it’s nothing.”
Isabella giggled, offering him some of the cool yogurt dip that was meant to calm the heat. “Here, this should help.”
“Thanks,” Lando said gratefully, quickly dunking some bread into the dip and taking a bite. “I swear, I’m never doing that again.”
Oscar shook his head, still laughing. “He’ll probably do it again the next time we’re somewhere spicy.”
Lando glared playfully at him. “No way. This is it for me. You two can enjoy the fire, I’ll stick to the non-spicy stuff.”
As the video continued, the three of them tasted more dishes, with Isabella easily handling the heat while Lando and Oscar struggled, laughing through the pain. The fans were eating it up, enjoying every moment of the lighthearted chaos.
Finally, as the camera crew wrapped up, Isabella felt a sense of pride. Despite her initial nerves, she had had a great time, and her teammates had made sure she felt comfortable the entire way through.
“Well, that was fun,” Isabella said, smiling at both of them.
Oscar nodded. “You were amazing. Seriously, I don’t know how you handle that spice.”
Lando, still sipping water, flashed a playful grin. “Yeah, you’re a legend. You definitely saved us there.”
Isabella laughed. “I just have a lot of practice,” she said, winking.
“Next time we’re in a spicy place, you’re in charge,” Oscar said, grinning.
Lando, though still recovering, nodded in agreement. “Yeah, definitely. But only if you promise to save me with that yogurt dip.”
The three of them burst into laughter again, and Isabella couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth, both from the spice and from her friends. It had been a challenge, yes, but it had been a lot of fun, and the best part was that they had done it together.
As they headed off to prepare for the race, the fans were already buzzing with excitement over the video. It had been a hit – thanks to the chemistry of the McLaren team, the food, and of course, Isabella’s ability to handle the heat.
#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#xoxo babygirl 💋#sunshine behinde the camera#lando norris x reader#oscar piastri x reader#isabella
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, happy endings
summary - everyone sees you as this weird and crazy ravenclaw. everyone except remus and sirius.
pairing : ravenclaw!reader x wolfstar
word count: +3k
tw: angst | nearly a happy ending | mentions of fight | self deprecation | sirius being sirius | she pronouns used
[part 1] [part 2]
You walked out of Flitwick’s office with your head low.
It caused you anxiety to know anyone could watch you exit your Head of House’s office, because everyone knew the only reason you’d be in there is because you were in trouble.
You accidentally bumped into people on your way out, though, making you stop short.
“I’m so sorry.” You said.
“Y/N? Hey, it’s only us.” Sirius said and you lifted your head to catch sight of him and Sirius before you.
You became anxious over Sirius coming to find you over a moment that you’d shared with Remus in Potions earlier. You knew that it had meant nothing to Remus, even if it had meant something to you. The way Sirius had looked at you afterwards though still made you uncomfortable thinking about.
“Sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
Just as Remus was about to say something, Professor Flitwick came out of his office.
“Ah. Just the two people I need to see.” Flitwick said, causing you to bolt before any other questions could get asked.
“But…” Sirius started, watching you leave without a goodbye.
“C’mon.” Remus tugged Sirius, not wanting to get into any more trouble if they somehow already were.
“If it’s any consolation, Mr Black, i’d like to talk to you both about Y/N.”
That caught Sirius’ attention and he was more engaged to enter Flitwick’s office then. Remus followed close behind.
Flitwick’s office was small but magical. Literally.
He had pieces of paper filing themselves away everywhere. There were books also putting themselves away on designated shelves.
“Take a seat boys.”
Flitwick went around the side of his desk and sat opposite where Sirius and Remus now sat.
Remus’ fingers started scratching at one another, because the anticipation of knowing what he’d done wrong and how he would be punished was too much. His only saving thoughts were that Sirius was beside him and you were the reason they were here, not him.
Sirius reached over to take Remus’ hand in his, interlocking their fingers to stop Remus from fidgeting.
“Are we in trouble, Professor?” Sirius asked, “‘Cause if we are, I can guarantee it was all me and nothing to do with Remus.”
Remus slightly smiled at how protective Sirius still was even after so long.
“I can assure you that neither one of you are in trouble. I just need to ask something of both of you.”
“Okay.” Sirius said skeptically.
“Darcy Gunther came to see me today, claiming that Y/N provoked Darcy’s cat and this explains the scratches down Miss L/N’s face. Now I have known Y/N since she started at this school and I don’t particularly think they would be so silly to do such a thing—.”
“They wouldn’t.” Sirius quickly chimed in, feeling Remus’ hand tense in Sirius’ due to the rage of hearing Darcy’s story.
“However.” Flitwick clearly didn’t enjoy being interrupted, “Miss L/N came in here and did not defend herself. I asked Y/N what was said to cause such a reaction from Darcy’s cat and all I got was a shrug in return. Miss Gunther explained that it was because Y/N was jealous that you two never give her the time of day? Again, I know Miss L/N and I don’t think this would be a concern of theirs.”
“Definitely.” Remus agreed.
“I don’t need to know what you two think about this. However, I am aware of Miss L/Ns lack of social circle and would like to ask if you two—.”
“Absolutely.”
“Yes, anything!”
Flitwick had to bite back a smile.
“— could make sure Y/N feels included.” He finished his sentence whilst the boys continued to nod. “Good.”
“So that’s it? No… getting into trouble?” Remus asked warily.
“Unless you have a direct link to what happened to Y/Ns face, Mr Lupin, you are free to go.”
“Wow. First time getting called into a teachers office and not getting told off!” Sirius laughed, as he and Remus stood to leave.
They both walked for the door, knowing they were about to burst out in conversation with each other once they’d left.
“Sirius?” Flitwick asked.
Sirius turned, whilst Remus had one hand on the door ready.
“Remember detention at Friday lunch.”
Sirius winked, “You got it.”
Remus rolled his eyes before they walked out the door.
•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•
You were sat at your favourite spot in the library when Sirius and Remus approached you.
The book you were reading was a novel full of adventure, mystery and treasure. You loved reading. The escapism into a world entirely different to your own was second to none. It was freeing and most importantly safe.
“Hey.” Remus said as he approached you.
You were sat at a four person bench table, you in the middle of one bench and - now - Sirus and Remus clambering to sit on the opposite bench.
“Hey.” You smiled.
“What’re you reading?” Remus asked.
You showed him the title and he looked impressed.
They didn’t have any books or notes of their own, so they must’ve either come here to cause trouble or to genuinely just sit and talk with you.
Curious.
“Are you two okay?” You asked.
“Y/N, you got attacked by a cat and you’re asking whether we’re okay?” Sirius asked, staring at your wound with intent.
“Did Flitwick put you up to this? To interrogate the truth out of me?” You frowned.
You had hoped they’d come here to chat with you, but maybe they were here on business to cause trouble after all.
“No.” Remus said.
“Yes.” Sirius said.
You looked at them confused.
“What are you doing?” Sirius asked Remus, flicking his finger on his forehead.
“What are you doing? Exposing us.”
“When have I ever been good at lying, Moony?”
“Uh… That time it turned out you’d been using my toothbrush for a whole term!”
“At least I was keeping my teeth clean!”
You stared at them with utter confusion.
You didn’t know what to feel. First they are here to spy on you and the truth? Then Remus lies to you about it? And now they are bickering over oral hygiene. If you didn’t insanely like them both, a normal person would have left by now.
“This is ridiculous. We’re talking about this later.” Remus muttered, annoyed with his boyfriend.
Sirius turned to you grinning and Remus tried his best to smile.
It took you all of three seconds to start chuckling to yourself. You could feel the corners of your eyes crease and the dimple on your face pop out to say hello.
Your giggles filled the space around you and you had to out a hand over your mouth in hopes of keeping them muffled.
“Ssh!” Some senior prefect glared at you.
“Oi! Don’t tell her to shush,” Sirius barked and then quietly muttered, “Prick.”
“No it’s okay. It’s a library, I should be quiet.” You stopped laughing, but not smiling.
“Not when you’re laughing like that, you shouldn’t.” Remus said.
His comment made you blush and you had to dip your head before Sirius could see.
You were worried if Sirius caught you being affected by Remus’ kindness - again - he would probably have to confront you, and you weren’t too excited for that.
There was just something about Sirius and Remus that made your heart feel right. Like they were a reminder that even through all the tough moments, there was still sunshine in the form of them.
Remus had his level-headed, introverted-ness, about him and Sirius was all hot-headed and cool. Both of them together just made sense.
You wished you had someone that would complete you into being made sense of.
It was hard though when, well for one no one in the school ever talked to you, and the only people who do speak to you are already in an established relationship.
“Y/N, are you single?” Sirius asked, breaking the silence.
Remus’ jaw dropped and looked at Sirius like he just killed his grandma.
Why was Sirius asking whether you were single when his boyfriend was sat next to him?
“What is this?” You nervously chuckled, “An interrogation over my love life?”
“Sirius…” Remus tried to stop him before he could start, but there was just no point.
“Have you ever been in a relationship?” Sirius asked.
“No.” You said quietly, embarrassed.
“Do you ever want to be?”
“Sirius!” Remus cursed.
“I-I don’t know what game you’re playing, Sirius, but it’s not funny. I get that I’m the joke of Ravenclaw and possibly even the school, but I’m not going to sit around and have you of all people embarrass me.” You spoke firmly, gathering your book in your hand.
“What do you mean ‘of all people’?” Sirius pushed.
“Sirius stop.” Remus gripped his boyfriends arm.
“W-we shouldn’t even be having this conversation.”
“What conversation, Y/N? I’m just talking.”
“You’re being a dick.” You muttered.
“A dick?”
“Yes. You know damn well that no one in this school likes me and it’s really cruel of you to make such a big deal of it.” Your eyes started to well with water.
“Y/N… That’s not…” Sirius started.
You stood up from your chair at the bench, “Look, I know what people say about me okay? I’d just rather not hear it from you today.”
And with that you were gone.
Sirius and Remus both watched you leave in a hurry, clearly not wanting to hang around for a single second longer than needed.
Remus whacked Sirius around the head with his hand.
“Ow- What the…?” Sirius whined.
Remus just glared at him.
“I screwed up.”
“Yeah, you screwed up.” Remus nodded in agreement. “What were you even trying to attempt?”
“Ask her on a date.”
“With who?”
“Us.” Sirius looked at Remus now like he’d not been present for the past five years.
“Oh yeah, ‘cause asking a girl who has never been in a relationship before on a date with, not one but, two guys is a great starting point.” Remus sarcastically answered.
“Ah…”
“Christ alive, how did you ever win me over?” Remus mumbled as he got up from the bench.
“Heyyy…” Sirius whined. “Wait, where are you going?”
“To fix your bloody mess.”
“Shall I….?”
“You stay here.” Remus ordered, hugging Sirius from behind with his arms dangling over his shoulders.
“And do what?”
“Read a book.”
“Read? A book?” Sirius pretended to gag.
“Love you.” Remus kissed Sirius’ cheek, before reluctantly unravelling himself from him.
“I love you, but you are causing me much pain by forcing me to read.” Sirius banged his head on the table, hoping his sat force would cause Remus to change his mind.
But no.
Remus was gone and Sirius would have to go and find a book.
•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•
You were sitting on the floor of a dark corridor by yourself.
No one ever came down here because they were too scared of the Ravenclaw ghosts - that you had befriended over the years.
You wiped your tears from your cheeks a with your sweater as you heard footsteps approaching.
It was slightly sad, no definitely sad - the lame kind - to be sitting on the floor crying over two guys that you never thought would’ve given you the time of day, but here you were.
Remus and Sirius occupied too much of your brain space.
They made you happy, even if they didn’t know it.
You imagined what it would be like being happy with them.
Then, perhaps, you imagined a little too hard because the next thing you see is Remus walking down the corridor towards you.
You briefly catch him slip a piece of parchment into his back pocket, before wiping the rest of your tears away.
“Hi.” He nervously smiled.
You curled your knees up into your chest as your back pressed against the cold stone. Your eyes slowly watched Remus walk beside you, only to slink down against the wall and sit next to you.
“I don’t want to talk.” You said quietly, even though there was no one around to hear but him.
“That’s okay. If all you want to do is sit in this hallway in silence, then I’m happy to do it with you.”
Your heart swooned over his words.
You’d never had someone so insistent on being around you. A day ago, Remus and Sirius probably had never had you on their mind and yet today you had already seen them 3 times. 4 if you included this time with Remus.
Remus kept his word and remained silent next to you, until five minutes later your thoughts were too loud to keep them in your head.
“How did you know where to find me?” You asked.
“Oh, uh, I guessed.”
“Lucky guess.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think I should apologise to Sirius?”
“What?” Remus laughed, “No absolutely not. He was being a dick and he knew it. I love him, but he has no boundaries.”
You chuckled at that, because you could only imagine.
You scooted closer to Remus, needing to feel a little extra warmth in this cold corridor. The stone floor wasn’t exactly ideal for sitting on, but it had grounded you when you felt like you were slipping away. Now that Remus was here you felt like you had another way - a better way - of grounding yourself.
Plus, for some reason, Remus was exhorting a lot of heat.
“I feel like I need to apologise to Sirius anyways.” You admitted.
“How come?” Remus didn’t make any jokes. He just gave you the space to talk.
“I… It’s.. Gosh I don’t know how to say any of this.”
You shook your head, burrowing it down to your knees as if not being able to see the world would mean you’d entirely removed yourself from the situation.
How on Earth were you supposed to explain to Remus that you needed to apologise to his boyfriend because he’s caught you ogling Remus one too many times now? How do you admit a crush like this? And then not just on one, but two people? At once?
It was insufferable being inside your head currently.
It was like a giant wave of guilt and shame constantly crashing its way down on you, weighing you down until you felt like you couldn’t breathe any more.
“I.. I think there’s something wrong with me.” You let the tears fall then, feeling safe enough next to Remus to cry.
“Y/N…”
Your head shot up from your knees, needing to get this out, “I have never been loved before, Remus. I know I’m the butt of the joke. That I’m deemed unworthy and a bit pathetic. I get it, I do. But it fucking sucks that people see me like this when I still have a heart underneath, just like anyone else. It’s full of love and joy and happiness, but sometimes I forget it’s all there because of how small people make me feel. I’ve never felt like I fit in. I don’t fit in. And I certainly wouldn’t fit into a relationship with the likes of you or Sirius. So I need to apologise to Sirius and I need to apologise to you for ever believing that I could worm myself into your relationship - like I’ve wanted to for the past sodding half my life.”
You felt out of breath as you finished speaking, letting your chest heave off the anger.
You felt lighter for letting it all out, but also terrified at the boy you adored staring blankly in front of you and what his answer would be.
The silence lasted for two seconds too long before you decided that you’ve ruined everything.
“I’m sorry Remus. God, I’m so so sorry.”
You made tracks to stand up, but Remus stood up with you just as quickly - ignoring the resulting cracks from his bones.
He made his quickly into the space between you both and cupped your cheeks carefully.
“No. No, stop that. Don’t be sorry, not for that.”
You pouted your lips and your eyes watered.
“I never meant to hurt anyone.”
“What are you talking about, sweetheart? You’ve not hurt anyone,” Remus delicately traced his finger down the cat-scratch wound on your face, “Except only yourself.”
“I-I’m so.. s-sorry.” You hiccuped, tears falling down your face. Remus raced to catch them all as if it was a game, urging them to stop falling.
“Sshh. You’re okay.”
“I’m ru-ining everything.” You tried to drop your head but Remus kept you facing him.
“Never. You’re not, I promise. You haven’t ruined anything. You’re too good to ruin anything. Too sweet.”
You started sobbing then and Remus let you drop your head against his chest. He cupped the back of your head protectively and wrapped the other around your back to keep you close to him. His body shook as yours did and he felt every bit of devastation that you did.
You hurting, hurt Remus just the same. Just as Remus knew Sirius also felt.
Sirius soon appeared down the corridor, almost running when he realised it was you that was shaking heavily in Remus’ arms.
“Moony, what happened? Who did this? I swear when I find out who—.”
“Sirius will you calm down. She’s not hurt - well, not physically.” Remus explained, trying to calm down his boyfriend whilst also consoling you.
After hearing Sirius’ voice you reluctantly pulled away from Remus’ embrace. You nervously looked over at Sirius, your eyes no doubt swollen and puffy and your hair frayed from all the nuzzling into Remus chest.
“Y/N…” Sirius said your name so softly you would have smiled had it not been for the heartbroken tone he used.
“I’m so sorry for interfering with you and your boyfriend.” You apologised to Sirius.
Your fingers started scratching at each other with nerves.
You expected Sirius to lash out and agree with you, but instead he looked devastated - not with you, but himself. There was a look of remorse and guilt on his face, one you knew all too well.
“Is that how you’ve felt? How i’ve made you feel?” He asked.
You didn’t answer because it was clear he already knew the answer and you didn’t feel cruel enough to say it out loud.
“Moony… I’m sorry. I’ve ruined everything.” Sirius started to become upset now.
It only was moments before that you’d been upset over the same thing.
“Hey, listen to me. You’ve not ruined anything. You’re as perfect as you always are. But Y/N has something to say, okay?” Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius waist and turned him to face you.
As they both looked at you with starry and tearful eyes you couldn’t help but believe that you’d caused so much unnecessary pain and hurt to the two people you’d vowed never to upset.
It was clear that there was no room for you to fit in beside them, regardless of how badly you wanted to.
That was okay. It was something that would hurt but it would be something you’d learn to grow from in time.
“Sirius…” You started, before not really knowing where to go from there. You wanted to apologise, but you didn’t know quite how.
Sirius moved away from Remus and in front of you, wiping away some loose hair from your face. He was so close to you, you almost couldn’t breathe.
“I always felt unworthy…”
“Sirius…”
“No just hear me out. I always felt unworthy, until I met Remus. He showed me that I was able to be loved and treated with kindness. Then I came to realise that I could also love and treat people with kindness, and that realisation came when I met you. In fact, it was before I met you. It was the first time I saw you standing on the Platform, waiting to leave for Hogwarts. I saw you and I instantly believed I could be capable of loving someone else. My heart let in Moony, of course it did, but it never felt quite whole. Like there was a piece of the puzzle missing.”
You quickly glanced from Sirius to Remus, to make sure this was an okay conversation to be having - despite how much you never wanted the moment to end.
Remus gave you an encouraging nod.
“I felt it too.”
“All this time we’d been reeling over what that little bit of emptiness was caused by, until we realised that it was because we were missing you.”
#remus x sirius#wolfstar angst#wolfstar fic#wolfstar#wolfstar x reader#wolfstar oneshot#wolfstar fanfiction#wolfstar fanfic rec#wolfstar x reader rec#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#wolfstar fic rec
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w the story u just wrote (just be here) maybe a part 2? where the reader is pushing away/snappy at tay orrr just another part in general :3
totally ok if not! i love your writing 💋💋🐈
look after you.
| T.S
Warnings: overstimulation (loud music w/ headphones, hot temperature), a bit of R breaking down, anxiety, taylor getting anxious of your relationship
Summary: After a week of numbness, you start distancing yourself from Taylor and saying some things you don't entirely mean. Taylor was just worried for you, but tries her best to find a way to you.
Word Count: 4.1k
Category: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff
A/N: you see what happens with me when I proofread is...it was 3.5k words. then it jumped up to 4k and I had to proofread again 😭 have fun everyone
Request A/N: you're lucky I had an extra photo I couldn't decide from the last one :P I thought tay looked too sad...but here<3
| Started on 14/11/2024, 11:26 PM |
| Finished on 21/11/2024, 5:30 PM |
Main Masterlist | T.S Masterlist
Request Guidelines | Part One, 'just be here.'
"When I'm losing my control, the city spins around. You're the only one who knows to slow it down."
| ——————————— ⸆⸉ ———————————|
You were staring out the window of the car, watching the buildings go by in a blur of time. Supposedly, you were going to stay at the park earlier today, but because it was so hot and humid outside, you had to cancel any plans of a sweet picnic date.
As the drive goes on, the car reflects through windows of botique shops and restaurants, showing it from the view of anyone outside.
In your mind, unprecedented feelings were swirling without a care. It was different from anything normal, but still as blank as your whole week has felt. It confused you. Your music was playing in your headphones as you try to distract yourself from the poking thorns going through your body, frustration threatening to break the walls of resistance.
The sun was striking through the clouds, blinding anyone who'd dare to look up. You were sure fate was laughing in your face by making the overwhelming feeling worse.
All you wanted to do was go back home. That was it. To be back in your bedroom, curled up, stowed away, casted away. Anything.
The more that time went by, Taylor was starting to notice the quietness that overlayed the drive. There was music playing on low volume by the speakers, and you were usually a quiet person, but the way you had your headphones on made her concerns grow.
She could see how glued your eyes were to the window. You didn't even move or sing to one of her songs that had come up in the car, which was all the more worrying. You were her biggest fan, but you most probably had the entire world blocked out by now.
"Baby? You okay there?" she calls softly over the music, turning it down until it was barely audible. You heard her, but you didn't respond or turn to look.
Her eyes flicker over to you for a moment, but she needed to focus on her driving. You kept your eyes on the window, starting to wish she won't even try to speak to you again just so you didn't have to try to explain.
But eventually, the car comes to a gentle stop at a red light, and she turns her head to look at you. She tries again, even softer this time. "...Sweetheart?"
Her teeth sank into her lip. She thought, maybe you had your music on too loud; because you had a tendecy to do that whenever you had trouble with your mind.
She runs through it in her mind for a moment, hesitating to intrude, but soon she reaches out, going to give two gentle taps on your shoulder. You felt it, but you leaned away, tensing as you keep your eyes on the window.
Without missing a second, her eyebrows furrow, now confirming that you heard her, but you were ignoring her. The situation was growing entirely alarming.
Her mind reels, but she leans back into her original position, her eyes focusing on the roads. Here and there, she'll check on you, trying to make sure you were alright— at least physically.
By the time she was driving along the familiar roads of your neighbourhood, where you lived together in one house, she thought to decide at least one more time.
She took in a breath to only sigh it out quickly. "We're almost home, baby..." she murmurs softly, trying to find chance for the smallest movement.
Your shoulders lowered...just a little, but it was more you slumping into the seat than relaxing. Right after, a grumble mixed in with a whine came as a response. Her eyes flickered to you, just for a moment.
"You look lost today, sweetheart..." she says in a mere whisper. The little shift in your leg had spoken thousands of words more than the quietness thats been passing.
Her teeth bit her lip, deeper this time. "Is there anything you want me to do? Like...a hug? A kiss? Or...we can stop by your favorite bakery..." she murmurs softly. Her eyes travel the area, recognizing the little delicious bakery right around the corner.
You bit your lip, your shoulders tensing as you kept your eyes firmly on the window. There was an odd feeling to let her sentence pass again, but the silence hung too uncomfortably in the air. The fact that you even thought to ignore her was tormenting.
What even was the word to it?...Tired. You were just tired. But it wasn't that kind of tiredness, or even the physical— it was just because your emotions felt like they were on the brink of cracking out and your heart and mind was dazed trying to fight it.
"I don't...need anything...just send me home." you mumbled with a slight edge, feeling the spite in your chest rise all the more. You were growing to only hate yourself if anything, instead of her.
The arrangement of words still bit her in her heart. 'Send you home,' as if she was only dropping you off somewhere instead of going home with you.
"Is there something you're mad at, baby?" she questions softly, but the words she spilled weren't meant to come out so...direct. She nearly wronged herself of her own suddenness.
Your mind stuck on her sentence. You could tell she was anxious just by the way her finger was tapping on the steering wheel. Of course you weren't mad. Well, you were, but not at her.
"No, stop, its nothing...I'm fine." You try to sound assuring, but you were sure your tone sounded too ignorant. Ironically, the both of you were worrying over your tones.
Taylor stays quiet for a moment. "...Are you sure?" She sounded softer. All you could do was shrink into your seat. You wanted to curl your legs up only to remember you were wearing your shoes.
"Yeah, just..." you slowly sighed in a near huff, crossing your arms, looking further back away to the view outside.
You knew it was what some considered to be 'wrong,' acting this way. But you felt overwhelmed. Too much going on to explain, even if it looks like nothing on the outside.
The sun was lowering further on the horizon, and she was soon nearing your shared home. After a moment, she slowly turns the car into the driveway, parking gently.
When you felt the car fully stop, you shifted your position up a little more. She gathered her things, glancing to you, but only to see you unbuckle your seatbelt and grab your phone, opening the car door.
Taylor swallowed down her fears. For a moment, all she had was the silence. All she's ever had was exactly that throughout the drive, but now it was even worse.
Soon, she follows after you, turning off the engine to get out. And of course, she held the keys to the house, so you were waiting at the porch for her, looking down and nibbling at your lip.
As she walks, she fishes the keys out from her pocket, finding the one for the front door.
She didn't want to start anything outside, so she steps on the porch beside you and unlocked the door first, twisting the key to then gently push it open.
Before she could even fully open it, you weaved yourself in from the gap between her and the door. She felt your shoulders brush, but she takes in a breath to calm herself, and slid the key out so she could step in. The door closes behind her.
Her eyes flicker to you in concern. "Baby," she started, watching you get your shoes off. But right after you took your socks off, you went to turn around. She hadn't seen you look at her even once in the past few minutes.
"Hey." She reaches her hand out, gently going to stop you from taking any more steps with her fingers embracing your wrist. You paused, freezing at the warmth.
"We need to talk." Her voice was soft. Softer than the music that was playing in your ears, and oddly she didn't sound mad at all.
A lump was in your throat. "I told you, I'm fine, Taylor." You nearly turned to look over your shoulder. But you looked down instead. Taylor took one step forward, wanting to be closer to you, but not pushing your space.
"It doesn't seem like it ever since we got in the car," she whispers, her hand on your wrist slipping down to your fingers, intertwining them.
She looks into your expression, tilting her head to try and see your face fully. She could see a glistening look in your eyes, and the slightest hint of red in your nose.
"Please." she breathed out. The silence was deafening, and cut the both of you to the core. Your mind was too scattered to speak, and you were trying your hardest to not break right then and there.
But you gently slip your hand out from hers, and she watches as you walked away, your path making its way to the bedroom.
There was a will for her to say something, to call you back, but there was a sign that you needed some kind of space alone after all that, and especially after you spent the time in the car, a place you disliked sitting in.
Even if she wanted to desperately know what the matter was, she didn't want to force you, or overwhelm you up to a certain tipping point.
Deciding to let it go, she sighs softly and goes to the couch. She hadn't even taken her shoes off until now, leaning down to slip them off her feet. It gave her relief as it felt suffocating earlier, but her heart wasn't spared any relief.
When she sat down, she felt a brush of fur against her skin. She nearly jumped, her head instantly looking to what met her arm. It was Meredith, looking at her curiously. She hadn't even noticed her there. Thankfully, she hadn't sat on her cat.
She breathes out the exhaustion in her lungs and leans back against the couch. Her hands cover her face, trying to make sense of it all. Then, those hands run over her cheeks and eyes, right before she let them fall carelessly onto the couch.
After a second, she looks to Meredith. She was laying there with her green eyes and cute scottish fold ears. Taylor's lips pursed, and she reaches out, giving Meredith a gentle scratch atop her head. Her fur was so soft.
She decides to distract herself, leaning back and resting her eyes closed. But it was too quiet, even as her cat purred beside her. Of course she was kept company, but the company wasn't you.
A sigh escapes her mouth and she opens her eyes again, blinking away the fuzziness. Somehow, the blonde manages to grab out her phone. It unlocked as soon as it saw her face, and she looked through her photos of today, seeing one of you in the car earlier today, but you were laughing, looking at a bracelet she had made. At least, until the disappointment of your cancelled picnic.
Was that it? Did she disappoint you too much? Was she having a relationship fallout? Of course not. You loved her with all your soul, and when you needed to, you took your time comforting every inch of her heart as she did for you. Every smile shared was of pure sweetness. It wouldn't make sense for you to simply part from her, even if the fear was deep in her veins.
But then it clicked to her.
The line of connection rose up from when you were numb and dozing off all you could few days ago. You did seem like you were getting better, and she gave comfort every time a bad thought came to you, but it wasn't until now your emotions were coming in again. She worried, even if it should be good, the concerning part is you were snappy and pushing yourself away from her.
But then— this morning too, you had forgotten to bring your bag that usually goes over your chest, which always gave you feeling a sense of ease and safety with the weight of it. Knowing how much your body could feel too light without it, she offered you hers, but you waved her off, thinking it was silly.
When you walked in the park together, your hands were in your pockets, fiddling slightly. She hated the amount of heat the sun had, but you hated it even further. You were talking to each other fine, at least until you were walking back to the car. You got quieter, mindlessly looking down the path, seeming almost bored at everything, or trying to distract yourself from the hot temperature.
Whats even more worse was you woke up earlier than she had. It was understandable that you could have possibly felt overwhelmed— because as much as you loved cuddling, you hated how longer your day would feel, and sleep certainly wasnt an option because you had fully woken up by then.
She lets out a gentle breath, knowing she needed to get to you. There was no telling what could rise up, but all she wanted was to keep you safe. Keep you in comfort.
|——————————— ⸆⸉ ———————————|
The room was quiet. It was raining, and it's been raining a lot as of lately.
The ceiling fan was humming overhead like usual. The air was so cold, your leg had to seek warmth under the folded covers.
But most of all, the room was dark. You couldn't get yourself to turn on the fairy lights hanging over the walls, even as the skies were gray, and the sun was starting to set, which only dimmed the daylight that spread in the room more. All you wanted was to sulk.
You hated it. Hated how much your mind was stirring up every bad thought you could ever have. Like you were blaming yourself for everything that ever happened, but you were also so extremely angry at everything else. It was a duel of two.
What exactly was that 'everything else' was? Well, really, the only thing you could focus on was the crazy temperature change that bugged your mind, going from the sunny, sweaty weather, then straight to what should be a perfect, cozy rain, but the cold was just too cold. There was no in between. You were sure the world might be ending at this point.
The interactions with Taylor kept reeling in your mind. It was like pages of a book flipping over and over, but it had the same memory showing. It was tiring, it was consuming you enough to send you into a spiral.
A sigh left your lips, and you buried your face into your hands. You wished the warmth you felt was the crook of Taylor's neck.
Oh, god, she was probably so mad at you. Blaming you back just as your mind was. What were you to do? The way you ignored her was outright cruel. You shouldn't have even done such a thing. Why hadn't you spoken about it? Well, there was no way she could have understood in the moment.
Right as your thoughts were going back and forth, a gentle creak came from the door behind you.
Taylor stood there, gently opening it to see you. There you were. She lets out a breath in relief, just a little, but there was no doubt that worry coursed through her mind when she saw how dark the room was. You clearly soaked all the gloomy atmosphere that you could.
But she wasn't focused on that. She was more concerned about the sight of you. You were just about curled up into a ball, like a cat frightened, but in the centre of the bed. Your arms hugged your legs and your head rested on your knees, staring out into the sheets of the bed.
"Baby?" she whispers out softly. That sweet nickname she always uses for you uttered out her lips without difficulty. You turned your head ever so slightly, your hand tightening in on itself as your fingers furled into your jeans.
When Taylor notices the movement and sees just the smallest glimpse of your face, she takes a step forward to be closer. You tensed a little, slowly slumping forward to your knees.
A gentle sigh escapes her lips, and she carefully went to sit down beside you, the bed dipping with her.
"Baby...whatever it is, I'm sorry, okay? I just...want you beside me again." Taylor says softly. Her voice was a near whisper, to softly get you back to her, as if any longer, you'd disappear in the blink of an eye. Your eyes squeezed in guilt at her words.
"Its none of your fault, Tay, I promise..." you whisper, the words stumbling over each other in the pace it came out. Taylor bit her lip gently.
She was hesitant, but she wanted to help soften the situation. "Okay, but is it...because we couldn't have a picnic earlier, sweetheart?" she asks. You divert your gaze off to the bed, frowning a little in hesitance as you thought about it. It was part of the reason, but not entirely. Even you couldn't tell what was wrong. All you knew is that you hated it.
You then reply by giving her a shake of your head. She could see the gesture clearly, and doesn't press any more on the matter, but moves closer to you on the bed. Her arm brushed against yours.
A breathless exhale escapes your lips. You leaned into her. She didn't hesitate to wrap wrap her arms around you, keeping you warm. Relief ran through her when you let her hold you, and the same was going through yours, having missed her embrace. Of course she would be there for you just to love you as much as you deserved.
Your arms tighten around her, and your face buries into her chest. She closes her eyes, giving you a squeeze and nuzzling the top of your head.
After a bit, she could feel the headphones underneath her chin, and she leans back, looking to your eyes. "...Is this okay?" she whispers, lightly grasping your headphones. You gave her a nod, letting her take them off.
Once she set them aside, her hands return to you, but cupping your cheeks gently. She lets her mind wander, wanting to understand you. You look into her eyes, your lips downturned into a frown mixed with a pout. She then takes a gentle breath in.
"You're exhausted," her voice breathed out. Even if you had been numb, unable to feel your feelings, it wouldn't be surprising for anyone to feel overwhelmed and tired after it. Her thumbs gently caressed your cheeks. Your lips were a pout as you nod, insistently almost. You were extremely exhausted, too fed up of everything.
Your mouth opened, but you couldn't get your words out, and you exhaled sharply, leaning more into her. She held you closer, assuring you to take your time in her quietness.
"Its too much. I'm..." Your hand clenches into her shirt and you sighed. Noticing the struggle in you to speak, she gently rubs your back.
"Frustrated?" She suggests, trying to gently help finish your sentence as she tilts her head. She wishes she could have pieced the signs together sooner.
Another breath left you, and you turn your face out, just a little bit, going to grab her hand and holding it for a while. But it didn't take long for you to eventually fiddle with her fingers.
She can see the anxiety stirring up in your actions, and her eyes soften. "I know, baby...I get it," she whispers softly, her other hand returning to your back.
You relax into her hold, nuzzling closer into her as you felt the soothing movement like a warm blanket, covering you.
"Shh...I love you. You're safe with me," she murmurs, moving both you and her in the smallest rocking motion.
"I'm not mad at you, or anything. I promise, sweetheart, I was just worried, and I miss you," she reassures, her voice a whisper right next to your ear. You sniffle gently, feeling the swelling in your throat.
"I'm not going anywhere..." she could feel the skin of her neck getting stained by your built up emotions, all that was kept inside starting to overflow into her embrace.
You buried your face further, a couple tears leaving your eyes by their free will. "Just..." she starts quietly, in thought of her next words.
"Cuddle with me for a bit, hm?" she tilts her head, brushing your hair back from your face, and giving you a smile, even after everything thats happened that day.
You looked at her with gleaming eyes and a red tinted nose, nodding, having been wishing desperately for just a cuddle, but your thoughts were too tightly woven up together to have said anything any sooner.
She gently pulls you closer. You felt safe in her arms. You always did. As if they protected you from the rest of the world, and all its matters.
"I'm sorry I can't give you peace. I...first this numbness, and now this, I...don't even know, Tay," you whisper breathlessly, shakily, your shoulders were tense as the tears dampened her shirt.
Taylor held her lip, quiet for a moment before she rests her cheek against the top of your head. "You give me peace more than anyone could...even at your lowest."
Her hands gently ran through your hair, feeling every strand. "You're the sweetest person I know," she whispers.
You nibbled on your lip, slumping slightly into her in your defeat. "Not today I'm not..." you whispered back.
Taylor's hands pauses, and she takes a deep breath in, leaning back to look at you with a gentle but stern face. "Today, you were overwhelmed," she says, her eyes looking into yours.
Then, her expressions soften, and her shoulders relax. "That's understandable," she reassures, one hand going to your cheek, her thumb wiping away your tears. You watch her with emotion on your face, unable to say anything else.
She continues. "But it doesn't mean you're not sweet...or loving. Or caring." Every point she reasoned stood to their very own without a way to be fought, making themselves known in your mind.
"You were frustrated with your senses and feelings, sweetheart, please don't be too hard on yourself." She gazes at you, the back of her index finger wiping the remnants in the corner of your eye.
"It happens...okay?" she whispers, planting a sweet kiss to your forehead. "Sometimes, you just have to let it go..."
"I promise you," she murmurs, cradling the back of your head. "Just listen to the room." the fan hums. The wind passed by your ears in sweet quiet greetings. Sometimes the bed creaked at certain movements.
"Our breaths..." She gently took a deep breath in, holding it before releasing, guiding you slowly. You followed, seeing her eyes, looking into them to see the calmness inside. She nods in gentle approval.
"Thats it, feel your heart..." Her hand goes down to your chest, her other one grasping your hand gently to rest on the beat of your heart, every thump, going even through your clothes.
She then brings your other hand to her own chest. "And mine."
Anything left of your tears had dried down on your skin, and soaked into her shirt until the next wash it gets. You relaxed a little more, let yourself breathe and focus on just her.
"Thats all you need," she whispers, a small smile raising on the corner of her lips.
"I love you. So much," she says, still holding your hands. You smiled tearily, leaning in closer, and she let you rest your forehead against hers.
"I love you, too..." you whisper, your voice breaking a little. It was quiet. It was sewn rest.
She stays there, soothing, keeping you with her presence, giving you reassuring touches and kisses.
You needed a moment to settle down, to breathe, someone to lean on and give you warmth.
"Everything will be okay."
----------------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@dmenby3100 @wandsmxmff @tia-thesimp @marvelwomen-simp @escapereality4music @fawnedolly @riaras-everthroner @lovelyy-moonlight @stevecore @midastouch013 @liloandstitchstan @maleahoswick @raven-ss @deadlymistletoe @bambisfawns @rorysrambles @natsxwife @orange15quote @bleachxbunny
#🥀 dawn’s collection#taylor swift x reader#taylor swift#taylor swift fluff#taylor swift comfort#soft taylor swift#taylor swift imagine#taylor swift fanfiction#taylor swift fanfic#taylor swift fic
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several sentence sunday
I was tagged by @perfectlysunny02. Could drop y'all some EB, but I'm trying to actually get that chapter finished tonight, so instead I'll give you the fic I came home and just had to start, tentatively titled words never said in a story that didn't end, roughly based around an assumed 811.
-
“You know we’ve been at this for weeks,” Chandler comments as he leans back on his bed. “And I still don’t even know where you live, Evan.”
“Buck,” he counters, tugging his shirt over his head. “Everyone calls me Buck.” He can’t stand the sound of his name out of anyone else’s mouth now. “A-and that’s not important, is it? I mean, like you said, it’s only been weeks.”
Chandler leans forward on the bed, narrowing his gaze at Buck. “Sure. Except you’ve been here eight times now. Which almost makes it feel like you don’t want me to know where you live.” The man stares at him as he grabs his jeans from he floor and starts pulling them on. “Unless it’s not about the place, but who you’ve brought there.”
Buck still doesn’t speak, keeping his focus on his jeans as he pulls them up his legs.
“Well God-damn, Evan,” Chandler comments, fully sitting up now. “Kinda hard to put up a fight against a ghost that I didn’t even know exists.”
“Buck,” he states again, bordering on a growl. “A-and he’s not a ghost, he’s-..”
“He clearly hurt you,” Chandler replies, reeling slightly, but keeping his voice calm. “But… I mean, didn’t you say when we met that he broke up with you?”
Buck huffs as he buttons and zips his jeans, tugs the hem of his shirt down. “I didn’t- a- w-what does that have to do with this? It has nothing to do with me protecting my privacy-..”
“Well it certainly feels like it does,” Chandler counters, although he’s calmer than Buck is. “I mean why hang on to something that’s clearly over if you’re actually trying to move on? He obviously doesn’t give a fuck.”
“No one ever said- and where the hell do you- I mean what the fuck-..” He keeps stammering through half-finished statements, unsure of which one to say first because they’re all driving toward the same point that whatever he’s had going on with Chandler is clearly over.
“It’s not about what you did or didn’t say,” Chandler responds. “Man walks out on you after, you said, what? Six months?”
“H-he has trauma!” Buck argues. “A-and-..”
“Holy shit,” Chandler mutters, his eyes growing wide. “Okay. Maybe you need a reeducation in learning how to move on .”
“I don’t need move on, I’m in love with him!” He yells the statement back at Chandler before he fully even processes the words coming out of his mouth, but for the next ten seconds, he’s stuck in that position, introspecting at the statement and realizing he meant it. His shoulders sink as the anger ebbs out of him and he looks back over at Chandler sorrowfully. “I’m in love with him,” he whispers.
Chandler takes a deep breath and sighs, shrugging as he leans back on his hands, tilting his head at Buck.
“Then maybe you should do something about that,” he comments. “Something that doesn’t involve anyone else.”
Buck glances over at him, a little shocked that the guy he’s been sleeping with for the past few weeks would tell him to go after Tommy, especially when all of his loved ones have been telling him for months to just move on.
“All I’m saying is if he doesn’t know, maybe you should tell him,” Chandler says quietly. “Or don’t listen to me. Keep listening to what you said your family told you. It’s gotten you this far.”
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Idk f theres been a lot of people sending in requests
Could you do a story with James where he had a bad day in the studio and he came home late so you comfort him? (if this makes sense)
JAMES HETFIELD
bad day, gn reader (🍒)
☆ 𝐀/𝐍; I WANNA HOLD HIM 😢 i hope this is what you wanted, if not send me a dm or another ask and ill fix it! IM IN MY ACTIVE ERA GUYS OMGG!!
☆ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; none.
i was laying in bed, waiting for him to get home. its 11:13 pm. james has been at the studio all day. of course, i missed him, but i knew he couldn't help it. they were trying to finish the first album they've done in years, while trying to work together as a band...and find a new bassist. i knew james had a lot on his plate, which is why i toughed it out, waiting for him.
i tried to wait for him every night, and i usually did. sometimes, i would fall victim to sleep before he got home, though. around about 11:40, he finally got home. i heard movement in the kitchen, guessing that he was probably eating the leftovers i put in the microwave for him.
usually, i tried to give him some space when he got home, before he came to bed, but tonight it took him a while. i decided to get up. when i got to the kitchen, his food was gone, and so was he. the tv was on in the living room, while he was sprawled out on the couch in his, recently, usual attire of jeans and a tanktop.
“you okay?” i ask, sitting on the edge of the couch. “mm fine.” he muttered. “you didn’t come to bed..” i say, gently cupping his cheek, running my thumb over his skin. his response is just a shrug. “do you want me to leave you alone?” i ask softly. i understood when he got distant or quiet. “no…lets go to bed.” i get up with him, following as he takes my hand.
i lay down with him, feeling his big hands on my waist, “how was your day?” he asked. “same stuff as everyday. how was your day?” i mumbled, my eyes meeting his in the dim light. “shitty.” he grumbled. i knew his days were stressful.
“what happened?” he laid down more, his head resting on my chest. “we still can’t finish a few songs…” my fingers gently card through his hair as i listen to him talk. “and lars is really pissing me off, more and more everyday. the therapy shit too.” i listen, kissing his head. “i'm sorry, hon. i wish it could be better."
"we may have a new bassist..i don't know yet." he mumbled, slowly relaxing more into the mattress. "thats great, james. what's his name?"
"robert. he's played for ozzy."
"well, if he's played for ozzy, he's gotta be great," i say as my fingers gently card through his hair, "have you guys been able to get to know him yet?" james nods, "a bit. he's alright." but i knew what that meant, the band was most likely going to hire robert, james was just being subtle. "i don't care, though, it's just another bassist."
my eyebrows furrow a bit, "hey, none of that..he's not just another bassist. he will be your bassist. this time, you need to do different, yeah? knock off the tough guy crap, treat him with respect." he sighs, "i know, i know."
"if you know, then you shouldn't have to worry about it. just let it happen. if he seems like a cool guy, i bet he really is." i say, "and for everything else going on, i know it sucks, but just remember you can always fall back on me. i'm always here."
"i know...i appreciate you more than you know." his arms wrap tighter around me as he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck.
#bl00dycraniumm#writing#axel writes#axel writes 🦴#metallica#james hetfield#x reader#james hetfield x reader#fluff#fanfiction#metallica fanfiction#ミ★ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 !
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✨emerges to sound like an old person✨ i personally do not understand the colourisations, if you like them, that's absolutely fine & you're completely valid in your opinion but they're just not for me, we have the full black & white episodes of the daleks & the war games available (the latter being quite an achievement really seeing as a lot of two's era vanished off the face of the planet & it's nothing short of a miracle that episodes have been recovered in animated form) & i don't wish to see them cut & condensed into a format that they just never were & whilst new footage is exciting to me, i hate to think that the 6B theory could potentially be erased now & that's okay! they're just not for me & i won't watch them, i have my dvd's of the originals. personally, in my opinion i think creative efforts would be better off spent trying to animated what hartnell & troughton stories remain missing ✨the highlanders✨
HOWEVER, a part of me is excited for this because if the war games being colourised & re released today with how wide & vast the doctor who fandom is means that more new who & new new who fans discover jamie mccrimmon, aka the longest serving companion in doctor who television history with 113 episodes (+ anything he did for big finish) & the doctor's relationship with jamie & of course the wonder that is zoe, then maybe, just maybe seeing him have a potential increase in popularity could lead to him being brought back (if his actor is still alive & willing, he was alive the other year in tales of the tardis) to doctor who & of course whilst his tales of the tardis ending with zoe finally brings much needed closure & is enough, to see the jamie mcrimmon be reunited with the doctor would be something beautiful.
personally i'd like it to be fifteen, especially in an episode where fifteen is wearing a one of jamie's kilt purely to see jamie's mind give out.
#jamie mccrimmon#second doctor#zoe heriot#twojamie#the war games#classic who#doctor who#new new who#whoniverse
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(Sexy story sent to me from one of my followers)
We’ve known each other for awhile but, I was always intimidated by your beauty and red hair. So much so that I could never seem to find the right words when I was around you. I was afraid that if I didn’t ask you out soon I would be put in the friend box. I was also afraid that you’d turn me down. Summoning up my courage I finally asked you out and with a big smile you said yes. I told you that we’d be going to dinner at a place that my friends son owned and that the food was delicious. I picked you up at 6:30pm and when you answered the door you took my breath away. You were wearing a short black dress with a plunging neckline. Your long red hair flowed over your shoulders and framed your beautiful face to perfection. At first all I could do was stare until you asked me if I was okay.
Your voice broke the spell and I breathlessly explained that your beauty had taken my breath away. Walking you to the car I was floating on air. The ride to the restaurant was shear torture. I kept glancing over at your legs because your dress had ridden out and exposed your long legs. I would glance over hoping you wouldn’t notice but you had this knowing smile like you knew what I was doing. We arrived at the restaurant and Todd greeted us at the door. He had reserved a table in the back where it was quiet so we could be alone.
The atmosphere was intoxicating and the food and wine was delicious. After we had finished I took your hand and walked you to the car. When we arrived at the car I couldn’t wait any longer. I turned you towards me took you in my arms and kissed your sweet lips. It was a kiss that I’ll remember forever. It was a kiss that washed over me like a giant wave. Your body melted into mine and I didn’t want it to end. I finally pulled back and looked into your eyes.
With a lust that didn’t need to be spoken. Opening the door you sat down and once again your dress rode up only this time a little higher. Sitting in the drivers seat I had to lean over and kiss you again. I put my hand on your thigh when kissing you and you parted your legs slightly. We rode back to my place silently with my hand softly stroking your thigh. I would inch my hand higher until you finally put your hand on top of mine. I said I was sorry for getting carried away but your response was that it felt really good and that you couldn’t wait until we arrived at my place.
We finally arrived at home and I was quivering with excitement and had a rough time opening the door. Once inside I took you into my arms and kissed you passionately. Our lips and tongues devouring each other as the passion swept over us. Taking you by the hand I led you to the bedroom. You had walked out of your heels on the way. Standing next to the bed I unzipped your dress and you let it fall to the floor. You unbuttoned my shirt and slipped it off my shoulders until it fell to the floor. I stood back to admire your beauty. Your full breasts. The curve of your hips. Turning you around I undid your bra and slipped it off you. As it fell I knelt down and slid your thong over your hips and down your long legs until you stepped out of it.
Standing up I turned you around and once again I admired the beauty standing before me. We kissed and you reached for my belt undoing it and my pants. Unzipping my fly you pushed my pants down exposing my hard pulsating cock. Sitting on the edge of the bed you wrapped your soft hands around the base of my cock and slowly started stroking it. I was running my hands thru your hair as you stroked me. You noticed a drop of fluid emerging from the tip and you leaned over and took the head of my cock into your mouth sucking the drop off. A soft moan escaped from my lips as you slowly slid the rest of my cock into your mouth. You started to increase the speed of your sucking until I had to stop you.
I pushed you down onto the bed and knelt between your legs. Pushing your legs apart I leaned in and placed soft kisses on the inside of your thighs. I slowly worked my way down to your freshly shaved pussy taking in the intoxicating aroma emanating from it. Blowing softly on your lips I slipped my tongue into your seam and took your swollen clit into my mouth. Sucking on your clit and sliding my tongue back and forth your legs wrapped around my head and your hands grabbed my hair as a loud moan was coming from deep inside you. I continued this torture until your ass lifted off the bed and you came so hard it took your breath away.
Standing up I flipped you over and pulled you to your knees on the edge of the bed. Moving forward between your legs I slid the head of my stiff cock up and down the entrance to your pussy. Once I was satisfied that it was nice and wet I placed it at the opening of your pussy and slowly slid it into your body until my balls were pressed against your clit. Holding onto your hips I slowly started fucking your tight juicy pussy. Increasing the speed of my thrusting my balls were getting coated with the juices running out of you and down your legs. I could feel the cum rising in the shaft and I knew it was only a matter of time before I filled you full of my seed. Holding onto your hips I pounded your pussy until I shoved as deep as possible and filled your pussy full of cum. My cock softened and slip out of you as our combined juices Ran down your legs and onto the bed. Collapsing next to you I kissed you softly as we both fell asleep.
(Jess: I loved this story and I was super horny while reading it)
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[16]: Think Fast
People who figured out what map you’re hiding on, let me know! :)
Reader has a very “slice of life” attitude. She takes things as it is, and if she can’t change things at first, she just accepts them, because what else can she really do?
Much longer than my other stories, btw!
⚠️THIS STORY CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT. BE WARNED.⚠️
You were so paranoid you feared your heavy breathing was going to attract a twisted.
Floor 24. 5 Twisteds. 8 machines. One you against all of it, and them.
At least you had full health, but that didn’t make TWISTED VEE, SPROUT, AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, DANDY ANY BETTER!
Funny, because you had a Vee and a Sprout in the team. Sprout died at floor 18, Vee at 21.
You would have screamed in anger if your sense of fear didn’t overrule it. You knew doing a Dandy run alone was risky, but this!? This was any solo runner’s worst nightmare.
You’d have just given up if you didn’t need research for that Dandy plush.
You have to stop hiding behind the shelves at some point. At this pace, you’ll never get off this floor!
How many did you have again? Looking up, you saw the big numbers right across the gray bar. 5/9.
Inhaling and exhaling slowly, you calmed yourself, checked both ways for Twisteds, and ran. You ran, and ran, and ran, for what seemed like forever. You heard footsteps behind you at one point, but you think you lost whoever it was. Probably the Tisha on this floor or something.
You quickly spotted a machine near you with a red light, and made a dash to it after you had regained a bit of stamina. Turning the valve as quickly but quietly as you could, you strained your arms to extract faster while also straining your ears to hear past the creaking and dripping sounds.
Okay, Dandy’s going to run over here as soon as I finish this machine. Legs, you better not fail on me now!
As soon as you heard the ding of the machine and heavy thuds coming your way, you instantly dashed around the corner into another room. Seeing a huge round…thing,(you didn’t know how to describe it other than it was a big cylinder that was see-through halfway up) you took it as your hiding place and crossed your fingers to not get caught.
After a minute, you slowly turned and peeked up over the glass. Your eyes widened and you slapped a hand over your mouth as you saw bright, pointed petals fanned out and blood-red eyes searching the area. His looming form towered over you; he was at least 5 of you stacked, if not more!
Don’tmakeasounddon’tmakeasounddon’tmakeasound-!
You ducked back behind the tube and squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for him to pass. It felt like forever until you heard the loud thudding of his footsteps getting quiet.
Was he gone? You quickly composed yourself and looked around. YES! That’s 6/9. You can do this, keep pushing! And maybe, as a sort of reward, you would get a break floor next! No blackout, all common twisteds, someplace where you could recover from your fear and rest.
Hurrying yourself, you pushed off the floor and sprinted to the nearest stack of boxes.
A memory of you pretending to be a spy as a kid came to your mind as you crouched there before you pushed it away. Now isn't the time.
Seeing another machine close to you, you were about to dash over to it before you hear the footsteps of Vee walking by your hiding place. You stay as silent as you possibly can, and when she finally leaves, jog over to the machine.
Dandy's going to run over here again. Where can I hide?? I guess I'll just have to hope he's not close by and I can get far enough away before he sees me.
Hearing the familiar thuds, you run to the nearest large shelf and kneel down, praying that he doesn't see you.The thuds grow louder, and after a bit, grow quieter. You look around the corner.
You're getting there! 7/9 done! Now, where's the last one?
You had already primed a machine near the elevator so you didn't have to risk going across the entire map in 25 seconds, so technically you had 8/9.
But after searching for it for a while, you were actually starting to panic when you couldn't find any more machines. But then you saw it.
A machine. In the MIDDLE OF THE MAP.
Oh, just great! They had to pick the worst possible map for the worst possible twisteds for the worst possible machine placements and then they decide to put me, the worst possible person on it and-
Your head was spinning at the thought of trying that machine. At least you had a high extraction speed?
You have to do it at some point.
So, you waited. You genuinely didn't know how long you sat there waiting for the coast to be clear, but it was a long time. It was always one of them that was there.
Finally, the middle was empty of twisteds, and you ran with all your might to the machine. Turning the valve as fast as you could, you constantly checked for twisteds around the corners.
Okay, Dandy is by the broken elevator, Vee is by the elevator…Sprout is…last time you saw Sprout he was off to the side somewhere.
Halfway done. The extraction was halfway done. Seeing a bit of green out of the corner of your eye, you duck behind a shelf again and begin the next long, long waiting session for them to leave the middle. Thank goodness the twisteds couldn’t hear your heavy breathing.
You would probably have fallen asleep if you weren't in such a dangerous situation.
Going back. ¾ done. Hiding again. Just a little more…!
You took a deep breath. This was it. Seeing the light change to green, you ran in the direction of the elevator, leaving the approaching Dandy behind to look at your finished work. See it and weep, flower.
…Turns out Vee was still there.
You let out a scream as your speed was halved, emptying your stamina bar bit by bit.
112/125. 84/125. 59/125. 31/125.
She wouldn't stop following you!
You sped around the corner, ducking behind boxes and trying to lose her, but her attention span was just too high! Slowing to a walk to conserve your stamina, you snatched a granola bar out of your pocket and hastily pulled off the wrapper.
Taking a large bite, you huffed as a tingling sensation flew through you. But it still wasn't enough, so you grabbed a POP can off the floor and tore off the opener, downing it and trying once again, to hide behind a shelf.
You were running out of items too now! This is looking bad…but you need to circle back to the elevator!
You slowed down again, shoes screeching against the floor in a sharp turn, before you let out an “Oof!” as you ran straight first into a wall.
Wait…that's not a wall. It just moved.
You fell back to the floor, nearly slamming your head against the ground. Quickly trying to get up again in a panic, you realized you couldn't move. You could only see bits of black ichor through your blurry eyesight, clouded with tears as you struggled.
You were so close…and yet so far…and now, it's come to an end. You made a good effort, but in due time, you would have died like the rest of your friends.
The restraints around you flexed, lifting you higher. A black…hand. So this is Sprout. Fair enough that you would die to one of your past teammates.
Mechanical whirrs and beeping drew closer, and you opened your eyes to see Vee's usual glare change into a sort of cruel smirk as she looked at you.
Concluding that you were dead, she walked away, leaving you alone to die.
Closing your eyes again and sagging in the fist that held you tight, you waited for him to kill you.
A sort of groan echoed through the room, and you were…let go? You couldn't tell, you had your eyes closed. No. You weren't let go. A wave of dizziness washed over you as you were turned, gravity pulling you down. Slowly opening your eyes again, you stared at the floor confused.
Was he holding you by the back of your shirt?
…
He was, wasn't he?
Shocked and annoyed, you flailed around, trying to get your shirt to rip and let go. There was a growl from behind you, but you didn't care. If you were going to die, you were going to put up a fight.
Ugh, he summoned one of those stupid tendrils again…what’s he gonna do now? Stab you? Actually yeah, probably.
You momentarily stopped struggling to glare at him in what you thought was your final moments, but your eyes widened as you heard a ripping sound and the cold air hit your back, making you shiver.
What the hell is he doing!?
You tried to look back in a moment of confusion, before choking on your own spit as you were thrusted forward. Tears pricked at your eyes as you felt pain invade your senses. Lots of pain. IT HURT.
What. The. Hell.
Is…
You refused to accept the fact that this was actually happening and tried to struggle again, but let out a whine at the friction behind you.
…You tried to process what just happened in your mind, but nothing came up. Mumbling curses to yourself, you tried to at least make yourself comfortable in preparation for what was to come.
The tendril in you was…cold, to say the least. Really cold.
It’s covered in ink, what did you expect?
I don’t know! I…nevermind, I’m not going into detail about that.
You grit your teeth as the tendril began to move, slowly at first, but gradually speeding up. It felt like it was destroying your insides, stretching you out in every possible way. The huge hand adjusted itself, supporting your weight to lay under you.
Was pain supposed to feel good? Probably not. But it did. You gripped the black ichor in front of you, your hands slipping and sliding off of it constantly as you tried to get a firm grip.
You let out a hiss as the tendril thrusted particularly rough. Huffing, you slumped your head to lie on the huge black hand as you gave up the fight. All you could really do was squeeze your thighs in response and let out pitiful whines.
Your eyes opened, as open as half-lidded eyes could, to stare at the floor.
How had you stooped to this level? You don’t really know.
…Did you even really care with how good it felt?
…
You jerked as the thrusts began to speed up more, and you laid your face back down in shame and pleasure.
Your stomach felt like it was twisting into knots, whether that was good or not, you really didn’t care. You couldn't even properly focus on it right now.
…At least you were flexible?
Oh, who are you kidding, trying to make the best out of the situation.
You groaned, feeling a coil tighten within you. Your nails dug into the ichor beneath you, the feeling of being stuffed imprinted into your mind.
This was sick. You were sick. This…monster was sick. You just wanted to see your friends again.
…That’s all you wanted.
You let out a loud cry as you felt the coil snap, gushing over the intrusion buried deep within you.
…
So there you lay…wasted and spent on the floor.
It felt like everything was floating around you, like you were in space, lying among the millions of stars.
The galaxies would swirl in masses right before your eyes, imploring you to reach out and touch them, but you could barely move an arm to do so. It helped you escape the shame of how much you had loved it. It was so dark…and yet bright, a haze like you would probably never be in again.
…
Footsteps…near you…being…lift…ed…wh…y…?
#dandys world#dandys world x reader#dandys world sprout#twisted sprout#twisted sprout x reader#twisted dandy#twisted vee#twisted tisha#smut#one mention of twisted tisha so it counts#and one mention of vee and sprout as toons#dandys world vee
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HEY HOW WE FEELING RIGHT NOW???
#CRYING during a seth cody promo omfg#Seth just keeps coming up with new ways to tell Cody he loves him#“you need to finish the story... for me” OKAY?????#I CRIED when he told Cody he doesn't have to fight this fight alone omfg#Offering to be his SHIELD?????#wowowowowow#sethcody#incredible#they're so in love and married fr#wrestling soulmates
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(breathing into a paper bag) FRALIO....
can't believe they gave us another guy. oh my god. so I guess Kelka is more, uhhh, more OOO then, and Fralio is Ankh? not that it matters too much, although they do seem to be doing something with the connected Riders so. who knows. anything goes! or if I may, anything gOOOes! god. of course they're the Ambition parallel. of course they are. oh my god.
fortunately there's nothing else they can throw at me right now that could possibly --
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#OKAY i am caught up through show my cards so i feel more confident about going into main story part 2#unless there's some absolutely wacky lore thrown into the fun rollerblades event WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT#extra excited for these guys now! can't wait to meet them properly :D#gosh though i am so afraid for jou in part 2#he's grown on me so much and i can't help but think getting backstory so soon is an ominous sign#especially for a wisdom guy i mean COME ON#i'm getting kiriya vibes and i don't like where this is heading#on the one hand if they legit kill off a character in their joseimuke gacha game...i mean. respect.#but also i want jou to be okay :(#i want everyone to be okay except maybe taiten because what is even going on with him#me yesterday: oh i don't think he's straight-up evil :) now let me just finish up the space event...#taiten: let's talk about plan DOMINATE PLANET#damnit taiten#tangentially i do think it would be EXTREMELY funny if the whole soun thing was a fakeout and murakumo was just some other dude entirely#soun's soft spot for uryuu and dislike for taiten is entirely coincidental#(probably based around the fact that taiten is INCREDIBLY evil) (or is he) (i mean yes)#he's multilayered he doesn't need a narrative reason to have opinions about other characters what are you his MOM
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okay but a version of events in which tommy takes ellie to the fireflies, but NEITHER of them come back. and maria joel have to work together to get them back
#maria and joel best friend agenda#has someone already done this (in a way that actually characterizes maria as an actual person w a plot lmfao)#pissed off maria and regretful af grumpy joel having to team up#joel at first being like i canNOT let you come with me youre pregnant#maria: and who the fuck are you to tell me what to do#joel: okay ur coming i guess#him doing anything and everything to make the trip as easy and safe as possible for her#runs on like four hours of sleep every night so she only has to take one watch and gives her 70% of their food#at first maria is sooooooo not having it like#sure you care about me and my baby who you asked your brother to LEAVE for yOUR SELFISH SHORTSIGHTED ASS#but then one night hes telling her a story about ellie and then she tells a story about kevin and he tells a story about sarah#and she can see how much he loves not just his late baby girl but his living one too#and in that moment she just kind of gets it#tommy told her this part of joel was long dead#the part that was soft and loving and good#but he was wrong#he was so wrong#and all maria needed was to see that for herself#and then they team up and break into davids camp and take care of business#tommy and ellie are probably there that makes sense#and then ellie is like we still have to finish this we’re going to the fireflies#maria: um haha ur funny no we’re not#ellie: i—#maria to tommy and joel: no we’re not everybody pack it up#we’re going HOME#joel and tommy: yes ma’am#maria miller#joel miller#au#i had a dream abt this last night couldnt at least do a tag story on it
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do you think you'll put "Stasis in darkness" on AO3 eventually?
see, when the idea first came to me, I hadn't really planned on doing anything with it because I wasn't sure if I could make it work. there's a level of gravitas in the relationship between a god and their devoted servant that I didn't think would translate well to steddie because, let's be real, those boys are goofy dorks. but the idea wouldn't leave me alone so I typed up the original post in an attempt to work it out of my system and move on.
(the post kind of blew up, which I was not expecting at all!! like, not even a little bit! i post all sorts of rough little ideas for my own amusement and I've been able to do that without drawing much attention until that point.)
Anyway, I wouldn't have done much with it but @acowardinmordor left some comments/tags/what have you that helped me nail down the setting in my head which really opened the door for me to explore how the story could progress. (apologies, strife, I'm not sure I ever properly thanked you for that burst of inspiration, so please accept this shoutout as an expression of gratitude). And the amazing @ent-is-indecisive allowed me to rant about it which really helped flesh out the story. Seriously, there are elements and lore coming up that would not have existed if it weren't for ent. (and thank you once again ent for the ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL fanart you made for the reveal scene, I'm still overcome with joy whenever I think about it!).
Once it got to that point, I knew I wanted it to be a self-contained story and I was afraid that if I did a multi-chapter fic I'd lose the thread and never make it to the ending I want the fic to have. (no, the end scene hasn't been written yet but I KNOW what it's going to be and I hope everyone will love it as much as i do). So I promised myself that I was not going to post it on ao3 until the whole thing was written out completely.
However, I occasionally need a confidence/motivation boost so I've been posting consecutive parts of the rough draft here. you have no idea how much the people who reblogged with tags or left comments have helped me fight off the discouragement my brain likes to bog me down with; off the top of my head, @godsweakestboy , @redfreckledwolf, @fuctacles , @spectrum-spectre , and @lawrencebshoggoth have given me lovely, enthusiastic words of encouragement. and they're only the ones I can think of at this moment. there's so many other people who've done this, so if you've ever left me nice tags or comments, please know that I've read every single one of them repeatedly whenever I need to get over a slump. I'm so grateful for all of you!
Anyway, all this is to say yes! It is going to be posted as a oneshot on ao3 once I've finished writing it. <3
#trensu replies#trensu tells stories#stasis in darkness#okay you probably didn't need that whole rant in response to your very simple and straightforward question#the response got away from me a bit#ill admit it#its just that i kinda feel bad that i cant work on it as frequently as id like#for one thing i didnt have a laptop for the last two or three months#but mostly it's because i have carpal tunnel and a full time job that requires i type for most of every shift#this means that writing fic usually results in me experiencing quite a bit of pain if i let myself write for as long as i actually want to#hows that saying go#the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak?#so it might take a while before the fic makes it to ao3 but it WILL get there sooner or later#(and there's still one or two more chapters i need to write to finish off the second installment of hawkins halfway house on ao3 also oof)
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Just realized my mom MIGHT'VE been a bit abusive
#okay so pre story knowledge you need to know#I have an eating disorder called ARFID which essentially is just extreme picky eating#but like also not because I've literally been coughing into a trash can from just a slightly strange texture#multiple times#anyways she was telling me about how when i was little she would make me stay at the table till I finished my food#that part is NOT news to me I'm well aware#But APPARENTLY when I was 6 ish she also would wrap the food I didn't eat and give it to me the next day to eat#she would also lock the pantry and refrigerator so I couldn't snack#and it got so bad to the point she caught me late a night eating CORNMEAL#FROM THE TOP CABINET#because I was just so hungry and it was the one thing she didn't lock up because who just eats cornmeal#😭#anyways actual tags now!!!!!!#red vs blue#rvb#rooster teeth#edit#locus rvb#felix rvb#felix mcscouty#samuel ortez#rvb locus#rvb felix#issac gates#lolix
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