#“wow it’s genuinely in danger of flying aw- OH MY FUCKING GOD IT’S LIKE THE ONE SPONGEBOB EPISODE”

[pileofpawns]

yeah

[woodchoc-magnum]

L0ne St@r 2x12 Hate Watch

DO NOT REBLOG THIS ONE - thanks, I’m trying to fly under the radar with my negative opinions here

Usual disclaimer, and I mean it this time: If you watch and love this show, that’s great and I hope you continue to enjoy it. Please don’t read this - simply go about having a lovely day.

If you do love this show and T*rlos and are braving this anyway - do not come in here. I mean it. This is not a T*rlos friendly zone. I do not ship it. Please enjoy your ship in peace and harmony. I have no intention of getting into arguments with anyone, I will simply ignore you.

I have done everything I can to avoid this showing up in the tags, whatever the LS tags are. Don’t send me hate on anon because I’ll delete them; I don’t care if you think I should stop watching the show, I’m not gonna. I like to suffer.

Eddie Diaz for calm and strength and to centre ourselves:

Hate, as always, under the cut:

Let's do this fucking thing, I've heard bad things about this episode

And I already know I'm wrong about the arsonist which is ANNOYING but maybe also too obvious so that's okay, I also know who the arsonist is and all the main plot points but I’ve still got to watch it to really appreciate the subtle nuances of the episode:

Oooh Billy

I ship it

Billwen for the win

This show is so dumb

Billy is smarter than Owen, maybe he should be the captain of the 126

I miss his lightning scars though

He's TWO HOURS LATER FOR DINNER

TK is looking as bland as always

They seriously waited for two fucking hours for this guy

Maybe should've put some deodorant on before going to dinner there Owen

You know I can't imagine the OG doing a storyline as dumb as this

So Carlos' dad thinks it's someone who works at the 126 or just a firefighter in general?

Well gosh darn it, it looks like Owen fits that profile exactly!

At least we get some Judd early in the episode and I love him

Angela Bassett is executive producer on this show as well? I hope she gets paid cash money for this

Billy is the red herring and I fell right into their trap

I just really wanted it to be him

Ooh Grace was listening

Oh it's 100% the arson investigator and Billy is 100% turning Owen in, I love him

Billy is amazing

He's my favourite character on this show

I hope he's not working with Owen to get the arson investigator? I hope he's actually this devious

I want him to be THIS DEVIOUS

Why the fuck does Owen wear that hoodie everywhere

TK is now having a little bitch fit

"they can't do that, can they?" he asks in a monotone, his face blank and devoid of expression

TK's real real dumb

Oh ho ho is this the shoving scene

IT IS

God Ronen CANNOT ACT

Okay so while I think it is wildly unbelievable that they would send TK's boyfriend to tell him that his father had been arrested by HIS father – it seems like a conflict – I would like to say that Carlos is being calm and reasonable

And TK is acting like a little BITCH

This is escalating quickly

Oh TK you so dumb

THE SHOVING

Wow

FOUR TIMES

Wow

Your fave is problematic, yo

Carlos deserves better than this whiny little piece of shit

And now, an interlude while I rant:

Let's talk about how Eddie Diaz yelled at Buck once in a supermarket and the fandom has never forgotten it; how his character has been villainised despite everything else going on in the show at the time, for that one fucking scene – let's talk about all the fics where Eddie hits Buck, or punches him, or rapes him – because you know those fics exist – let's talk about the "Eddie is violent" narrative that parts of this fandom like to push because Eddie yelled at Buck, one time, once, in a supermarket

Totally ignoring the fact that at no point at all, in any other episode he’s been in, has he been violent towards Buck, at all - let’s talk about how the street fighting arc was out of character for Eddie, because he was struggling to cope and looking for an outlet - let’s talk about how Buck and Eddie moved past that whole storyline and strengthened their relationship; how they built a family together, how they’re a team and they have each other’s backs no matter what, and how, not once in the entire show, have they ever been violent towards each other or pushed each other around in anger - NOT ONCE.

And let's talk about this scene, where TK, ya boy, ya sweet tender boy, just shoved the man he says he loved four times, violently, in front of people at the firehouse.

I betcha any money he doesn’t get tarnished with the Eddie-Diaz-is-violent brush, because he can do no wrong. He’s the fan favourite, and this is totally glossed over by the end of the episode and nothing will ever be said about it ever again.

Because wow, you guys. Wow. If this was my ship, I’d be pissed.

Back to the hate watch:

And I know that whole fight is for nothing because I know the plot twist – I know that the dads are working together in order to reveal the real arsonist, the investigator – so they've basically turned their children, who are in a relationship, against each other?

Also why is Billy allowed to be watching the interview?

Goddamn do we really have to show the gruesome burn victim photos

I really want Billy to be devious by the way, and not in on the plan

Oh here comes TK, looking like the little bitch he is

God he's a fucking awful actor

This is the dumbest plotline ever

Equating OWEN STRAND WITH THOR? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

BLASPHEMY

THOR IS THE GOD OF THUNDER

OWEN IS A DUMBASS

THE TWO ARE NOT EQUAL

Uh oh here comes the evil investigator

Do either of these men – Owen and Carlos' dad – stop to consider that what they're doing has kind of an impact on their children, who are currently in a relationship? No? Okay

Because this is one hell of an awkward situation

Does Owen genuinely think that Billy is the arsonist?

Interesting that the arson investigator wants any info Owen didn't give Carlos' dad, and he turned off the cameras/mics etc

This show is stupid

Arson investigator also knows that the sons are dating, interesting

"And you can pound sand!" oooh great comeback Owen

This episode is so BORING OMG

Why the fuck am I watching a shitty Law & Order knock-off when I should be watching a bonkers 911 episode

Oh no Judd's at Billy's

I really do think Billy Burke is good looking and it is a flaw of mine, I don't know what it is about him and he really doesn't look that good in this show but I really love Billy Burke okay

And I WANT HIM TO BE DEVIOUS

Oh Judd

Oh Judd thinks Billy is the arsonist

See this is why YOU DON'T LIE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU

Oh he punched him

God damn everyone is violent in this show

Judddddddddddddd

Uh oh here comes trouble to the "vagrant's" hospital room

Oh it's the arson investigator, their little bluff worked, incredible, amazing, flawless etc

Wow how amazing

It was the ol' switcheroo

Judd punched Billy for nothing

TK and Carlos nearly came to blows for nothing

Now Owen is allowed to watch the interrogation? They'll just let anyone watch those things these days

OH MAN ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT BILLY WAS IN ON IT WITH OWEN THE WHOLE TIME?

Damn it I wanted DEVIOUS god damn it

Fucking cowards

"I assumed it was probably a trap at the hospital which is why I went there anywhere"

But why is he lighting fires

A FEW MONTHS?

A man is dead

Pure theatre

So annoyed that Billy isn't devious

But the Billwen ship sails on, clowns 🤡

Do we think the arsonist has the hots for Owen? 100% yes, right?

He's very happy to see him wink wonk

This doesn't even feel like an episode of 911, it's so goddamn dumb

"I knew you had darkness in you too" – that dude definitely wants to fuck him

Why is he lighting the fires?

They're so dumb

"And now I'm going to repay the favour" – he's talking about YOUR SONS

WHO HE KNOWS ARE TOGETHER

Wow these two dumbasses really have no fucking idea do they

OH HE'S BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

Wow this is graphic

What the fuck is up with this show and the horribly graphic scenes lately?

That dude is dead yo

"Take away everything that's important to me" AND HE CALLS THE FIREHOUSE FIRST

THE FIREHOUSE IS THE FIRST FUCKING CALL???

Oh okay it did blow up and TK was there so I'll allow it

But hey look on the bright side – Owen gets to remodel again!

And isn't that what he's the best at?

Yo your firehouse is on fire dudes, better call the fire department

Does Judd apologise to Billy or no

Oh here we have TK and Carlos and their perfect love

And Carlos is the one apologising?

No.

Please tell me no

Carlos you are allowed to be pissed at him – ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

"nobody has to apologise?"

YOUR BOYFRIEND PUSHED YOU AROUND

Oh my god

Wow

Okay.

Look I'm just saying that to me this would be a GIGANTIC RED FLAG but wtf do I know

I'm just saying because I have to – if Carlos was a woman and TK did that? Whole different story gang

Whole completely different mother-fucking story

This show, wow

Wow.

Wow. This is bad.

Domestic violence happens to men too, just saying.

Wow I'm so annoyed that I've paused it to type furiously and rant that wow, they're just not acknowledging that TK was totally out of line? Okay. Wow.

And everyone's just fine with it?

Oh they're just figuring out that he set more than one fire

Maybe there's something else you care about other than the firehouse, Owen

Maybe?

BILLY IS THE ONE WHO FIGURES IT OUT

See this is why Billy is the best

Oh no TK and Carlos are in danger

Oh it's so romantic isn't it? They're gonna fuck now that everything is okay

Wow he left a lot of bombs in Carlos' house

Damn Carlos is hot

No smoke alarms?

That fire has really taken ahold there guys

I'm gonna assume you do have smoke alarms and he disconnected them

Wow he really covered all bases didn't he

Put the bombs in the bedroom as well

RIP Carlos' nice house

"I love you too" after I violently shoved you around today

Oh who needs a fucking fire department when you've got Owen fucking Strand right?

"Carlos" he says flatly. "How are you doing?" he asks in a monotone

"I should've had an extinguisher in the bedroom" DUDE NO ONE DOES

And if TK wanted one in there, he's the fucking firefighter, he should've checked when he moved in instead of assuming like a dumbass

God this show is dumb as fuck and I hate it so much

Billwen for the win

"just a couple of crap magnets" fucking a-men Judd

This show sucks

Oh no TOMMY OH NO

WHAT'S HAPPENING

OH MY GOD

WHAT THE FUCK

What the fuck

Is he dead?

TAKE OWEN AND TK INSTEAD

I’m going to say one more thing about this T*rlos storyline - if they’d done this to Buck & Eddie in the OG, I’d be fucking devastated. Like... if Buck or Eddie pushed the other around the way TK pushed Carlos around, I’d be absolutely gutted. It’s really horrible that they went down that path - whether it’s OOC or not, and you can probably argue that it is - they shouldn’t have included the scene like that in the show. 

It just raises a whole slew of questions, like... is TK violent? Is Carlos used to being pushed around in relationships? Is the show saying that it’s okay that they got a little physical because they’re both men? Domestic violence is never okay, and this is kind of... saying that it is, in certain circumstances?

That is problematic as fuck and such bad writing.

These two are in a relationship where they are living together and supposedly love each other, and this is how the writers choose to portray it? If you’re a T*rlos shipper and you’re upset about this episode, I get it. It’s really fucking terrible that they included that scene - and I would bet cold hard cash it’ll never be addressed again.

This is why LS is a bad show. It’s shitty writing. Shitty storylines. Characters who are interesting are shoved into the background and glossed over in favour of the male white characters. The OG doesn’t have this problem - for everyone complaining that Eddie hasn’t been featured as much this season (and yeah, I hate it too) - you can’t complain that the characters of colour don’t get equal screentime. 

With LS - it’s the Rob Lowe show, and everyone else is just in the background. And that’s why it’s so frustrating to watch - they have a great cast, and this could be a really good show, but it’s just not.

Do you think the LS writers patted themselves on the back after this arc and were like, "yeah we nailed it, we're amazing?"

This episode is -1,000000/10. This show should be cancelled.

Two god awful miserable fucking episodes to go.

Diaz to cleanse:

[dem-obscure-imagines]

You’re Green???

Beast Boy x Reader

Prompt: Ok so Beast Boy Soulmate AU, consider the classic: you see color when you touch your soulmate. You could be a new member of the team or just someone who knows the titans. Somehow you just haven’t come in contact with him. Until one day you do and the colors go everywhere and it’s this magical moment but you’re just like “wait...you’re green???”

Note: I’m in love with Garfield Logan now??? Yeah. Yeah, I think I am. Thanks, Ryan Potter. Also, thanks for the prompts!!! This is so up my alley, you don’t understand.

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 1.3k

Like the vast majority of the population, you were one of the people who was unable to see color. At all. The magic of the rainbow was a mystery to you and every other person who, like you, hadn’t yet met the person they were destined to spend the rest of their lives with.

Unlike the rest of the population, you were a little…different. Since the time you hit puberty, which hadn’t been all that long ago, given that you were a high school senior, you’d been able to create flames out of thin air. It was a dangerous, scary ability that had forced you into hiding your powers, which had led to the outing of your powers to your entire school, which had led you to where you were now, in the back of the T-Car.

“It can be scary at first, for sure.” Cyborg reassured from the driver’s seat, Raven sitting on his right.

“That’s what we’re here for.” Raven agreed. “The safest thing for everyone involved is that you learn how to use your powers, how to control them.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” You pulled your hoodie further over your head and stared out the window as the city rolled by.

It wasn’t long until you finally got to the tower, lugging your duffle bag over your shoulder.

“I’m Robin. Nice to meet you. We set up a room for you down the hall this way.” He pointed and then started walking. You read the names on the doors as you passed.

Raven, Robin, Victor, Starfire, Garfield, and finally…a blank door. Huh. Figured.

Robin tapped on the blank one and it slid aside, revealing a plain room with a few throw pillows on the bed. It would suit your needs nicely.

“Sorry it’s so…empty. You can put whatever you want in here. We figured we’d let you get settled before we—”

“It’s perfect. Thanks so much.”

“Cyborg’s making a plaque for your door. We just figured we’d see if you like it here first.”

“I get it, yeah. Thank you.”

“Of course.” Robin stood there for an awkward moment. “I’ll, uh, let you get everything unpacked, then. Holler if you have any questions.”

“Will do.” You stepped inside and set your bag down. Unpacking only took a few minutes. You hadn’t been able to salvage much after everything had happened, and you were still in the process of getting the rest of your things back from your house. Your parents loved you, sure, but they knew it was safer for you to be with the Titans. They knew how to handle people like you.

God, why did everything have to be different now? Why couldn’t you just be normal?

“Knock, knock! Welcoming committee is here!”

You turned around to find the famed Beast Boy and Starfire standing in the doorframe. Beast Boy, who had pointed ears, and a little fang that jutted out of his bottom lip, was holding a cupcake.

“It is most glorious that you’re joining the team!” Starfire sang, flying over to you and pulling you into a tight hug. You awkwardly hugged her back. “We hope you find it to feel like a home!”

“Thanks…I, uh, think I’ll fit in pretty well around here.” You giggled. Once the strong alien girl let you go, Beast Boy handed you the cupcake.

“I hope you like it. We baked them this morning. Tried to bake a whole cake, but…well…”

“Given that I have fire powers, I can definitely understand a baking mishap.” You giggled. “Thanks so much. I’m…really looking forward to getting to know all of you.”

“Speaking of, we’re having a movie night tonight! Your pick!”

“My pick. Wow, I feel special.” You smiled at the genuine kindness on their faces. You’d been apprehensive about moving to the tower, admittedly, but so far, everyone had been really nice. You were glad you’d made the decision you did. “I’ll be there. But only if there’s popcorn.”

“Would it be movie night without it?” Beast Boy joked. “See you there. Come on, Star. Cy said we’ve gotta clean up the kitchen.”

And then they left you in the quiet of your room. You sighed, turning to look out the gray window at the gray sky, blotted with gray clouds. Taking the wrapper off of the dark gray cupcake, you took a bite. Chocolate. Huh. It was good.

You had a feeling you’d like it here. A really, really good feeling.

***

Later, when dark fell, the Titans gathered in the living room. You slowly emerged from your room, tentatively walking down the hall until you found the source of the chatter, where the rest of the team was.

“Oh, sorry. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting…”

“Nonsense. Come on in. There’s a spot over there next to Gar.”

“And Gar is…”

“Me!” Beast Boy grinned, waving you over. “We don’t really use our real names with the public, I guess.”

You walked across the room and sat down next to him. “So will I get a codename, then?”

“We can figure that out later. Right now, we just need to get you settled in.”

“Alright.” You nodded, smiling.

A few minutes later, you’d picked out a movie. Gar set a bowl of popcorn between the two of you. You took a handful and happily watched along. That is, until you reached in for another handful, your hand inches from his, and the loudest siren you’d ever heard in your life went off, lights flashing.

“What the FUCK?!” You slapped your hands over your ears.

“Trouble!” Robin stood up and the others all ran out the door. It was Gar that turned around when he noticed you weren’t with them.

“Well, are you coming?”

“Uh…yeah, I guess I am?” You got up and followed him and the others. By the time you got to the scene, the city was in chaos. People were running and screaming, and in the center of it all? A giant lightning monster.

Robin lead the charge, dodging the panicked civilians and diving right into action. Cyborg hit the thing with his Cy-Cannon, but that only seemed to supercharge it.

You watched in awe as Starfire took to the sky, followed quickly by Raven, leaving only you and Gar on the ground in front of the massive thing. The gray boy next to you changed into a rhinoceros and charged.

Seeing that you were unsure of what to do, the lightning monster shot at you, blasting you with a bolt of pure electricity. It knocked you off of your feet. Oh, that was a mistake. A big mistake.

Fire boiled in your veins, hands heating as you scraped yourself up. “I haven’t had the best week, buddy. You shouldn’t have done that.”

You launched into battle with the others, adrenaline overriding every other emotion, all of the shock and confusion washed away and you felt something click inside you. This. Yes. This was what you were meant to be. A hero.

***

It felt like hours later that the threat was finally contained. You were covered in dirt and soot, your jeans even more ripped than they had been before. You huffed a sigh, sitting on the street. Before you could move to hoist yourself up and brush yourself off, a gray hand stretched out in front of you.

“Need some help?” Gar asked softly.

You nodded and slipped your hand into his, but the second you did, a jolt zapped up your arm and your eyes stung sharply. You squeezed them shut in an attempt to make them feel better, but they didn’t, not until you opened them again to find a colorful, colorful world all around you.

Looking up at Gar with wide eyes, you watched as his knees wobbled, a similar look of shock on his green features. Green. He was green.

“Holy shit, you’re green?!”

“I’m—what?” Gar looked at his hands, laughing. “I…I am! And you’re…you’re my…”

You scrambled to your feet and stood in front of him, admiring each facet of his handsome green face. “Took me long enough to find you,” you whispered.

He opened his arms, inviting you with an earnest smile, and you hugged him tightly. “I knew there was something about you…” he murmured into your ear, chuckling to himself. “Welcome to the team.”

[nodesiretogrowup]

That episode was ADORABLE!!! spoiler-y thoughts below:

It was cute seeing Team Magic together, even if it was only for a few seconds. I’m gonna pretend that they were fighting Launchpad’s wereduck ex.

Would really love to see a Dewey-Beakley episode now.

“I mean, this is very wrong, but it’s not this either.” Don’t be a hater, Scrooge. I’m surprised Huey hasn’t made himself a costume like Della has. More mother/son bonding in the future?

Goldie is a BOSS ASS BITCH and I LOVE HER.

Louie is already being adorable. I love my green son.

Louie has to stay on brand. He knows who he is.

Goldie is WORKING that necklace.

“Don’t let her get too close.” I wonder if that will come up in future episodes.

“HOW DID THIS GO SO WRONG SO QUICKLY?!” #youtried

“You gotta get close.” And theeeereeees the conflict of the episode.

“I’ll have you know I’m the evil triplet!” “Suuuure, you’re the scariest bunny in the pet shop.” I love their dynamic already.

I think there was some sincerity in Louie’s ploy. He does know feel like he’s not as good as the rest of his family.

“You know your cons.” I think you might be genuinely impressed there, Goldie.

“So you’ll teach me?!” The kid just wants a mentor he can relate to.

Poor Louie. The kid is legit TERRIFIED of Doofus. Was that invitation actually gold?

Della, you do need to sleep.

Of course Huey has a different version of epic. My sweet nerdy son. I wonder if Fenton plays this game too. It seems up his alley.

Love the art style of the game and cyborg Della.

Princess Username and the Heartthrob Goblin. I feel like Della had a crush on both of them. Though NOTHING can beat Princess Unattainabelle.

“The impractically giant weapons, the high stakes adventures!” I’m siding with Della on this one. Big weapons=Big fun

 “The whole village won’t have turnips this season” I highly doubt that is part of the game.

YAY LAZORS!

Doofus’ party looks pretty dope, not gonna lie.

My poor baby Louie. I love that he and Goldie’s outfits kind of clash. Louie is dressed to the 9s while Goldie is super casual. Possible foreshadowing of the two not being on the same page?

“Not full of hair.” WHY IS THIS CHILD LIKE THIS?!

I love that Goldie and Louie can just look at a pile of loot and know exactly how much it’s worth. Even Goldie looked impressed.

“Guhmeemama.” That’s...upsetting.

“Can’t wait to tell my therapist about it when I’m older.” HELP THIS POOR CHILD.

“No, that’s just being a bad party guest.” Lessons in etiquette from Goldie.

“Also I don’t know yet.” Honesty, I can respect that.

 Perfect widdle angel? Is Gideon around? (Two Gravity Fall references. I’m on a roll.)

SERIOUSLY, THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS KID?!

“Hellowen, Llewellyn.” BURN THE CHILD!

I like the Goldie saved Louie from falling in the pool. She’s already attached even if she won’t admit it.

“The only parent I’ve even known.” “Why does he hurt me?” “You know why.” THE FLYING FUCK IS UP WITH THIS FAMILY?!

WHY IS DOOFUS SO UPSETTING?

Wow Goldie, that was harsh.

Percival P. Peppinton. A.) that name is AMAZING B.) digging the Willy Wonka look.

“Hey, I got range!” Johnny is too cute.

The honey bin. Yikes.

Hey, the Beagle Boys are a legit family, even if their mom wasn’t actually there!

Sharkbomb. Just beautiful. I think Glomgold has some issues to work out.

“Super young aunt.”

Digging Mark’s casual outfit.

Boyd is BABY AND MUST BE PROTECTED.

I saw that Goofy Movie reference. And the Flounder hat.

I love that Mark has a phone charm of himself. Sidenote, I miss phone charms.

I wish Glomgold had covered my eyes too. CANNOT UNSEE.

Glomgold’s pics are GREAT. I feel like he’s had those for awhile, just incase.

Quick thinking Louie ftw!

That hug was TOO CUTE. Louie really NAILS affectionate gestures.

Louie is as...photogenic as his Dadnld.

“POOL TIME.” I had the same reaction as everyone else.

Impressed Goldie is impressed.

Oh Glomgold, you keep doing you.

I get you Huey.

“THE DUKE OF DESTRUCTION!” The crew really likes dukes.

A WILD LAUNCHPAD APPEARS.

“I’M THE MASTER OF THE SKY!” I love that the dragon looks like the Sunchaser/Cloudslayer. It’s the little details.

“I’M SURPRISING MYSELF, THIS IS AMAZING!” LAUNCHPAD IS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE HIM.

“What a great life lesson!” Solid parenting. Anyone else want to see Launchpad and Della play this together. I mean, what better way to bond than playing video games together (that aren’t Mario Kart or Smash Bros)?

“WOO, JETPACKS!” SERIOUSLY, the two of them would get along SO WELL.

Doofus confirmed for masochist on top of sadist.

Did the invite say to bring bathing suits? Also, Goldie is looking FINE in that gold one piece.

Glomgold, are you...ok? Do you ALSO have daddy issues?

God I love Goldie and Louie bonding.

Notice how Boyd never touches the water? Love that he keeps the bowtie on. And again, BOYD IS BABY.

Goldie is DUMMY THICC

“The greatest adventure of all-waiting.” Oh sweetie.

Della, you should chill on the whole danger thing.

“Every journey begins with a single step.”That’s much better.

THAT IS WHY I NEVER LET MY GUARD DOWN!

“I SHOULD NEVER TRY ANYTHING NEW!” I feel ya.

HE’S A PINBALL WIZARD!

DO NOT TOUCH MY BABY BOYD!

“Beaks would NEVER miss out on that sweet clickbait.” “Click-what now?”

Aren’t acronyms fun?

“Do you know how many evil robots I’ve face? *nervous laughter* Too many.” OH MY SWEET CHILD!”

POOR BOYD! That legit made me sad. LET HIM BE A REAL BOY!

BUTLER DAD OUT!

“DO NOT PEER behind the curtain of reality, bud.” That’s a great line.

THIS POOR KID IS HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS! HELP HIM!

Butler Dad, noping out again.

Louie looked legit sad about what happened. He’s a good boi.

“I’m gonna need a really big bag of rice.” YOU DON’T DESERVE BOYD.

Money, Money, Money. I’d like to play that game.

LOUIE JUST WANTS SOMEONE HE CAN CONNECT WITH! I’m kind of hoping it ends up being Donald or Della that fills that role for him.

“I swore after last year no one’s EYES WOULD MELT OUT OF THERE HEADS.” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Et tu, Goldie?

They really are two peas in a pod. I bet she would have ended up giving Louie a cut.

“Hi, I’m BOYD a DEFINITELY real boy, and I’m going to DESTROY YOU.”

“YOU’RE A REAL, SWEET, KIND BOY, I SWEAR!” No arguments here.

Someone is concerned for Louie’s well-being.

THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS CHILD!

I legit want Louie and Boyd to become friends.

Aw Goldie, you DO CARE!

NOT RIGHT.

DELLA LOVES HER BABIES!

“IT’S OVER 9000!” You can NEVER go wrong with a Dragon Ball reference.

SUPER SAIYAN HUEY!

“Well, at least he’s out of his comfort zone.” You might have created a monster there, Della. At least he’s getting out his aggression in a safe and health manner.

Louie could never truly be a conman, he cares about others too much to let them take the fall. And that is noble of him.

Goldie is BRUTAL.

SUPERHERO LANDING!

Louie understands the power of family.

“YOU SENTIMENTAL TOASTER.” Burn?

Yay for Doofus’ parents standing up to him! THAT’S THE POWER OF BOYD!

“I’m...free.” THIS MAN NEEDS THERAPY, STAT.

“YOU’RE IN TOO DEEP.” It’s ALWAYS the quiet ones.

“I’d say you get used to it, but that would be a lie.” The words of a man who has had his heart broken.

LET LOUIE FIND A FRIEND/MENTOR!

THE PHOTOS! GOLDIE DOES HAVE A HEART!

[elssiie]

Walk through the fire

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

You can also find the story in fanfiction.net 

Strategist and priestess Lucy Heartfilia gets caught up in the turmoil of war. Torn between duty and love she must decide whether to follow her heart or mind because the destiny of two nations rests on her shoulders.

Chapter 5: Instinct 

There is no instinct like that of the heart

  Natsu was moving through the trees as fast as the forest let him. His men were far behind him but right now he couldn’t afford to wait for them. Fucking hell! That little witch had been giving him a massive headache for a while now. He seriously hadn’t needed Romeo to magically show up in the middle of the battle camp and put himself in danger like that. What was even going through the kid’s brain? Hey, I see a suspicious person walking into one of the most dangerous places in the empire. I’ll mention this to the nearest soldier and then indulge myself in an epic adventure following said suspicious person in the woods. Brilliant, Romeo. Just fucking brilliant.

Natsu stopped for a moment to sniff the air. The witch’s scent was anything but witch-like. Soft and clean, the smell of spring. It was too vivid, too strong. She and Romeo were close. He sprinted following their trails. There. Just behind those bushes. He could distinguish their voices now with his ultra-hearing. They sounded frightened. Then he felt the presence of other creatures. Shit! He quickly moved through the bushes and found them.

Just in time to see the deadly spear flying in the air straight towards Romeo. For one terrifying second Natsu froze, unable to say or do something. His eyes widened as he watched the strategist’s body blocking the spear’s path. A horrible, blood-chilling scream tore from her mouth as she crashed on the ground. He registered in the distance of his mind that the forest people were turning their attention to him, ready to take him down as well. He didn’t care. His vision was pure red. The usually calm and quiet fire in his chest was now blazing furiously. Red markings covered both his arms, neck and cheeks. His skin glowered in a faint gold color and he knew what his eyes looked like, what kind of effect they had on the enemies. The forest people screeched in despair, trying to quickly get away from him. He wouldn’t let them. The white hot fire covered his hands. Burn, motherfuckers.

The first thing Lucy noticed when she woke was that it was nice and warm. She strained her muscles in order to move but every single nerve in her back screamed in pain. Holy gods! What in the world was this pain?! She had been laying on her stomach probably for hours if she had to judge from the missing sensitivity in her arms and legs. She realized with horror that she was back in the tower. She was a prisoner again. Then she remembered the forest people and the hit she took. Ah. That’s why her shoulder hurt so much.

She had to get up. Lucy clenched her teeth and slowly, so very slowly pushed her body up. Gods, someone was tearing her skin apart! Piece by piece! Her arms trembled, too weak to do this kind of physical activity. She groaned as the pain became unbearable.

“No. no. Stop.” Big, warm palms dropped on her lower back and gently pushed her to the bed. “Stop.”

“I want to get up.” Her voice was rusty. It sounded too exhausted like she’d been screaming for a long time. Maybe she had but she couldn’t remember a single thing since she got unconscious in the forest.

“You need to lay down.” The male voice was coming somewhere above her head. The palm moved slightly up her spine, leaving behind a nice hot feeling.

“Please.” Lucy whispered. She didn’t really have the energy to explain how awful her limbs were feeling or how she wanted to at least see what was happening around her and not have her head on one side, leaving her defenseless.

For a moment he didn’t say anything so she thought he was ignoring her request but then strong arms wrapped around her stomach, his head briefly touched hers and he softly breathed out in her ear, “This is gonna hurt.”

She nodded.

He carefully started lifting her body while she desperately tried not to cry out. He helped her turn herself over and after another five agonizing minutes Lucy was finally sitting in her bed. She was panting, her eyes full of tears and her shoulder burning in agony but she was at least seeing the room.

She couldn’t believe it.

It was Dragneel who helped her. There was something different in his stare. A newfound spark she hadn’t seen before.

“What happened?” she asked.

“The forest people hit your shoulder with a wooden spear. You’re lucky they didn’t manage to hit your lungs or you’d be dead by now.”

“The boy… Romeo, is he okay?” The fear was evident in her voice.

He was contemplating her, sizing her up with his stare. “He’s fine. Just shaken up.”

Lucy exhaled shakily and closed her eyes.

“Pretty good idea, by the way.”

Her nose wrinkled. “What do you mean?”

“Saving a kid from my camp in hopes of getting away from torture.”

“What?” She asked flatly. Surely he wasn’t implying that…

He shrugged.

“I’m just saying it’s a good strategy. You knew I was going to find you so you decided to put the boy in harm, then getting injured while saving him. We both know I can’t afford to torture you right now cause there’s I high chance you’ll die in the process. It was reckless but in the end a pretty good idea that actually worked.”

She gaped. Was this guy for real? Oh, gods, he was. He was for real! Her anger bottled up in her throat. She wanted to smash his thick pink head with a table so hard!

“Wow. Are you that amazed that I figured you out?”

He laughed but there was a certain stillness to it. His whole body was tense. His eyes didn’t sparkle with their usual humor.

“How could you be so… aggh!” The sharp pain from her wound stopped her from punching him in the face.

“Hey, be careful.”

His hands flew towards her, probably to help her, but she was so done with him. Lucy smacked his palms and he blinked caught in surprise. Good. Let him be surprised.

“I had no idea where that bloody spear would hit me! I could have died on the spot! Yes, I would have done almost anything to get away from here, I did not want to betray my country but I would never -”, she was panting now. Her shoulder was killing her and she was pretty sure her wound opened up but she was so angry. “I would never bet the life of an innocent person just to save my own! For you to think I would do that to a little kid is beyond me! Making up that kind of twisted story truly tells terrible things but not about me. It’s about you! Don’t you dare say such bullshit like that to my face again!”

And she was even swearing now. She hadn’t done that in years. He really pissed her off.

Warm streaks of blood fell down her back. Suddenly her head felt too heavy and dizzy. Dragneel, who’d been in total shock until now, quickly shook off his mixed feelings and called for the doctor. Seconds later a middle aged man came in, saw her condition and heavily scolded the General. While the doctor started changing the bandage he asked why the wound opened up again. For the first time since Lucy knew him Natsu Dragneel kept his mouth shut and didn’t fire with a smartass comment. Well, then she’ll answer it.

“He was being a jerk.”

From the corner of her eye she saw Natsu’s body cringe. Dull, unpleasant pain hit her head and she groaned. Her forehead and neck were sweaty. She couldn’t even keep her eyelids open any longer. She was just so, so tired. Everything hurt.

“What’s wrong with her?”

Did she imagine it or Dragneel sounded genuinely concerned?  

Ah, never mind. She just wanted to sleep.

“A fever, I believe.” The doctor almost growled. “Her body is weakened not only because of the blood loss but also because of the intense pain she feels. Opening up her wound isn’t helping her either, General! I will give her some strong herbs but they will keep her dizzy. General, with all due respect, I will ask you to leave the girl alone for some time, at least until she recovers from the fever.”

Natsu nodded. He couldn’t tear his gaze from her tormented expression. He thought about her stubbornness and wills to fight, how brave and strong she’d been. Now she was laying completely powerless and shaken up by the pain. Something sickening curled up in his chest. It was awful, this feeling, whatever it was. His eyes traced the sensual shape of her eyebrows down to her feverish cheeks and stopped at the sight of her slightly opened lips, out of which painful sounds were coming. Her shoulder and half her back were completely exposed to him, revealing soft milky skin, delicate curves. She was so small, so fragile. Why the hell would he think about torturing this creature which was about to break any moment?

“General! You are only making my job harder! Please, leave immediately!”

The shout broke the strange trance Natsu had fallen into. He sharply turned and flew out of the room before he did something. Before he did what exactly?! Godsdammit, he was such a mess. That woman was truly a witch. What had she done to him?

“Why are you frowning at the air?”

Natsu almost jumped. Almost. Gajeel always showed up at the best of moments. He hadn’t heard him approach which was kind of strange. But this whole day was just fucking over the scale of strangeness.

“How is the strategist?” He just had to ask about her, didn’t he.

“She is…” Natsu clenched his fists, then deeply exhaled. Hot gray smoke came out of his nostrils and that glowing, heavy feeling in his chest started fading. His rhythm slowed down until only the familiar quiet but tense fire in his heart was left.

“That thing with the smoke is still as freaky as I remember it.”

Gajeel was giving him one of his worried stares again. He knew something was off. But Natsu would never admit to anyone how thrown off he felt. Instead he asked, “Where’s Romeo?”

“With Sting and Rogue. You know, that whole lecture you gave really upset him.”

“Yeah, well, he deserved it. That brat isn’t going to pull a stunt like this again in the near future. I almost had a heart attack because of him.”

“Natsu Dragneel and his lectures on responsibility. I’d never even thought you had that word in your limited vocabulary.”

“Very funny. I’m dying from laughter here.”

Gajeel was waiting for Natsu to spill the beans. But Natsu had a dignity to keep. He just passed by him and said in a nonchalant voice, “The strategist has a fever so I left her with my personal doctor to look after her. We’ll have to wait for her to get better.”

Yeah, Gajeel was seeing right through his bullshit but thank the gods, he wasn’t feeling asshol-ish enough to mention it. Natsu would take what he could get. He needed some time, to cool his head and heart down. So he forced himself to smirk lazily at his cousin and walked away.

[thetravellingvagrant]

Day 6: Iasi- Grumble Warning

Ok, so, I've fallen a bit behind on posts and the one I was working on just deleted itself in a fit of selfishness, so I plan, over the course of today, to upload three mini-updates of significantly reduced length, in an effort to not send myself mental, trying to catch up. Don't worry. You won't be missing much.

So, let's speed through day 6; for the first time on the trip I had managed to let myself wake up naturally, without my alarm or (despite their best, snore-laden efforts) room-mates prematurely rousing me. Consequently, I slept until 12 and had managed to waste a good portion of my first full day in Iasi.

I shared my room with an odd Romanian man, who we will get to later and another, eerily quiet, fairly creepy man who had sat stock still, the previous night, not moving, even to check his phone when it went off, save for one incident, where he sauntered directly over to my bunk to thrust a piece of melon into my face, to ask if I wanted some. I did not. Melon is gross. By the time I had woken up, however, both men had vacated the room, with my melon based assailant seemingly having done so permanently. I was very glad of this fact.

After a genuinely infuriating experience of trying to drag my incredibly low-end laptop through the relatively demanding experience of trying to book accommodation for Cluj-Napoca; my next destination, through AirBnB, who had also arbitrarily decided that I, all of a sudden, needed to scan my passport into the website in order to make any further bookings, for some mad reason, I finally managed to get out into Iasi, to explore the city properly. Sort of.

The sky was badly overcast, meaning, that once again, despite it being pre-sunset, my jaunt into the surrounding area would be undertaken essentially in darkness. Regardless, I pressed on to my first objective of the day; to hoover up souvenirs, like a mad tat-vaccuum.

I stopped, for what I hoped would be a flying visit, though actually ended up taking up a good portion of what remained of my day, at a gift shop I had spied on my way in to the hostel, the previous day. A timid little man greeted me upon my entry and asked what I was looking for, for whom and what my budget was. I told him and he considered for a moment, before demonstrating at wearying length each piece of stock he felt fit the bill, which, as it turned out, was nearly every piece of stock he owned. After an awfully long time, he stopped talking and I picked the piece of tat I most felt would make an appropriate gift and attempted to pay. He insisted on gift-wrapping it, despite the fact that I told him I did not need it gift wrapped, nor did I expect the structural integrity of the wrap to hold up, during my flight home. But, no. He did it anyway.

I left and, after a quick stop at a nearby mall to pick up a fridge magnet, upon which my demanding (though still nice) girlfriend insists I bring back for her, I was finally ready to explore the city. Like, for real this time.

I sat in a nearby park and pulled out the comically huge map I had been given by the hostel

I mean LOOK at it...

before feeling a bit embarrassed and putting it away, after taking a quick photo of it to take note of the highlighted areas of interest. I decided, in lieu of a better plan, to saunter between them, despite the fact that most, if not all of them just seemed to be old churches.

The walk was nice enough, with my podcasts filling my ears to distract me from the low-key mundanity and creeping cold that was setting in, though probably not of any huge interest to the blog, as it can be summed up in the single sentence “I saw some churches”. I nearly went to a museum which featured exhibits on life in the area at around 4000BC, which sounded interesting, but by the time I had arrived, it was getting close to its closing time, and so I did not.

I ended up, instead, in a nearby park, which my giganto-map had told me, I my memory served, had inspired numerous romanian poets to create their best work. It was, however, by the time I arrived, a little after sunset, and so I was only really inspired to leave.

Finally, I made a quick stop at LIDL to buy far, far, far too many pastries to make my nine hour train ride the following day, less shit.

The LIDL, though quite nice, had the curious flaw of not having any baskets for me to use, hanging around. People had trolleys, but I had no idea from where they originated. Instead, I was forced to just sort of fill my pockets, tuck under my arm and otherwise clutch onto the not insubstantial amount of things I wanted to buy. It was awkward and uncomfortable and for some time afterwards, my hands more resembled talons, but I powered through, little soldier that I am, and made my pleasingly cheap purchases. I remembered to buy a bag for the walk home.

I returned to the hostel and set about my evening bibble before being interrupted by my strange Romanian room-mate, whom I had previously mentioned. He stumbled into the room.

“...Deed you see the city?”

“Sorry?”

“...Deed you go and look at thee ceety?”

“What, today?” I asked, feeling vaguely affronted, like he was judging me for being in the hostel so often, when I could be outside exploring this gloriously mundane town. “Yes, I just got back.” I challenged, adding “I was out walking around for like five hours”, just to make him feel like a real piece of shit.

He seemed to drop the subject and wandered over to the window.

“You know eet was snoweenk earlier?” he said, desperate to prove that I wasn't paying enough attention to the outside world, apparently.

“Oh” I replied. “No, I didn't.”

“Yeah, its stopped now, theenk you meesed it”

Oh, fuck off.

“Ah, well, there'll always be more snow...” I said, philosophically.

“Who knows, man” he answered back, also philosophically, but at the same time, stupidly. “Weenters are getting warmer, you know”

“Yeah, true...” I mumbled back, out of politeness

“When I was a keed, always such huge snow in weenter, but nowadays, not so much”

“Well, that's global warming for you...”. My stock reply to people talking about weather I'm not interested in.

“...I don't believe so much in global warmeenk”

...Oh, no.

“Oh?” I queried, knowing full well that I was getting dragged down this rabbit hole, whether I wanted or not.

“Yeah, I mean it maybe happens, but its effect is like a drop in the ocean, compared to the governments weather controlling”

“...Wat.” I thought, and also accidentally said out loud.

“You know, chemtrails etc, you know government controls weather right?”

I wanted to just nod and smile, but I couldn't bring myself to. I had never actually come face-to-face with someone who harboured such a stupid belief. You hear about climate change deniers, flat-earthers and anti-vaxxers, but you don't honestly believe they exist. They're like Santa, or happiness.

“...I actually think that's a very dangerous opinion to hold, let alone spread. There's literally no evidence or science behind it, whatsoever.”

“Ah, you know science isn't always right? These scientists theenk something and then, a few years later, eets replaced by a new thing”

“Yes, but it's always replaced with more science...not just a wild, mental guess”

I don't remember exactly what he said after this, but  I recall it being stupid. Something to the effect of “oh yeah? Then why do we have less snow now?”

I decided, at that point, just to drop it and be angry.

We talked a short while longer, before he vanished back into the common room to study for the university course he was undertaking while living here, which was also weird. Psychology, if you're interested, because of course it was. I have know idea what kind inperceptible mentalist lure has lodged itself at the heart of that subject, but, my god, it is there.

I bibbled a while longer, before sauntering down to finally use the shit, hostel kitchen to make some sandwiches; both for tomorrow's trip and tonight's dinner.

The climate change denier was in the kitchen, talking to some girl wearing a rough, loose fitting jumper, with her hair pinned up in neat dreadlocks.

“Oh, wow.” I thought to myself. The conversation I'm walking into is going to be fucking ridiculous.

“...You know why you're not supposed to eat fruit after a meal?” the man, let's call him Mental Andrei, said.

“Yeah, of course...” the girl replied, seemingly trying to make herself seem knowledgeable about a subject which was categorically mental and had no underpinning in facts.

“Because” Andrei continued “the food is already in your intestines and so the fruit goes straight through the stomach and go to the other food and it ferments and makes you feel sick. Maybe even make you vomit!”

I wanted so badly to tell him that what he said was fundamentally ridiculous; that a) food does not move from the stomach to intestine immediately after you eat it, that b) adding more food afterwards doesn't immediately mean that that food bypasses the stomach, like there's a big open plug-hole going straight through to your colon, which slowly closes again several hours after a meal and most crucially c) that humans have been eating and drinking fermented fruits for probably thousands of years, however, I kept tight-lipped, reasoning that to correct them would at best be a waste of breath and at worst, be an inescapable portal into their conversation.

I set about making my sandwiches, which were awful. Normally, I'd do a long description about how they were like someone throwing up into my nose and me snorting it into the back of my throat then swishing it around my mouth and that's what they tasted like, but because I'm trying to be brief today, I will simply say eating these sandwiches was like being kicked in the mouth by a shoe made of rotten meat. It was a sad, dry, gristly affair and I did not like it. Good thing I had just made four of them for tomorrow.

I then turned in to bed, eager to sleep, which which I did, after tossing and turning for a while, for at least an hour or so, before some absolute thundering prick decided the following things constituted acceptable behaviour; checking in at 3am; having a tour of the room and its amenities by the receptionist at this time; switching the room's lights on while he put took his stuff in; loudly and clumsily putting all his clothes away on /hangers/, directly next to the bed of someone, whom, for all intents and purposes, he could have happily assumed was still asleep; leaving the room, lights still on to have a shower, in the bathroom located directly through the wobbly cardboard wall from my bed and finally, coming back to bed to sit up, lights still on for a good hour or so afterwards, loudly coughing, turning the pages of his book and chuckling to himself.

It was a good thing I didn't have anything strenuous to do the next day.

...Oh, wait.