#“what??? Köttbullar?? did he just say Köttbullar???”

[nicht-ganz-allein-sunny]

KÖTTBULLAR

- Wallenstein, Friedrich Schiller, Regie: Frank Castorf

Been thinking about theatre inside jokes that have no business being funny and remembered how in a 6 hour play someone told me their breaking point was the word "Kötbullah".

It was, at no point, mentioned on stage.

[eurosong]

My ESC ‘20 ranking

Good morning folks, on this rather melancholy “Eurovision day.” Whilst this year may be cancelled and its songs pretty callously binned by the EBU, 2020 was a diverse year that deserves taking a close look at too, so here goes my customary full ranking of the year. I express some candid opinions, but they are just my take on things, no shade intended if you disagree.

41. Estonia - What love is It’s always most difficult to pick a last place because, no matter how sleek Eurovision gets, there are still a few abject horrors that sneak into the contest. With a score that would have been dated 30 years back, and lyrics that manage the peculiar double act of being both pompous and anodyne, this is horrid enough before Uku’s dubious xenophobic comments and his prevailing over a field of much more compelling songs get taken into account.

40. Macedonia - You The Macedonians, having achieved their best result ever last year (I’m happy for them, but also, Kaliopi deserved that), decided that they soared too close to the sun with Proud and decided to crash land this year to build their energy to soar again. That’s the only reasonable explanation I have for this effort which deeply repels me, doubling down on Luca Hänni’s “cocky guy in a sleazy bar” æsthetics and adds to it even worse lyrics, castrato singing and the unintended levity of the interpreter being far more interested in the bartender. Also one of a maddening number of duplicate titles that were nowhere near as good as the originals.

39. Cyprus - Running What is this void in the space of a song? I’ve listened to it dozens of times to do ratings over the past months. I’m still left with an icy emptiness because it does nothing to me, says nothing to me. The only thing that I can say in its favour is that it’s not a replay of replay aka Fuego 3. That’s it. It’s like it’s designed to leave little impression and hope to cruise by on diaspora and friendly votes alone.

38. Austria - Alive Austria have been on an interesting Eurovision journey, going from winning with Conchita to serving up this chirpy homophobe doing his best impression of Timberlake. A monumental step back from the singular tenderness of Pænda.

37. France - Mon alliée (The best in me) La déception de l’année sans doute. France, one of Europe’s cultural powerhouses, really said “forget Destination Eurovision, which showcased our music scene’s diversity and was one of the fandom’s favourite newer NFs. Let’s abolish it all and bring in the guys who made Bigger than us, because we really want a piece of that Big 5 bottom place action! Let’s throw away our cultural caché and get something about as French as flatpack furniture!”

This is like going to a pricey restaurant in Paris, expecting haute cuisine and instead getting some microwave-reheated IKEA köttbullar. And can we talk about how Amir of J’ai cherché fame is partly to “thank” for this in one of the biggest heel turns of the year? It’s like he wanted to ensure that France TV beg him to return by safeguarding his excellent score from being equalled. I also have to say, Tom Leeb seems like a nice guy with a good voice. He did his best to salvage this with the acoustic version, which lifts it up a few places. But not so many given that that Westlife reject b-side ending with a key change remains.

36. Germany - Violent thing Speaking of major cultural players dumping their national finals for no good reason, guten Tag, Deutschland! Germany once had one of the best and certainly most diverse NFs going. Instead of dumping Barbara Schönenberger as hostess - every year she’s presented, Germany have had calamity, and the one year they did well, 2018, she wasn’t host - they decided to pin all their hopes on a bewildered looking gossoon from Slovenia with yet another Timberclone song and some rather dubious live vox. As his countrywoman Lea Sirk said, it’s a hvala ne from me.

35. Spain - Universo Yes, it’s another year of the Big 5 not living up to its automatic qualification rights (except you, Italy, thank you for being the exception to the rule.) So here we’ve got a bland effort from Spain to avoid being bottom 5, except that ain’t how ESC works - you need something to get people to waste their money on voting for your song. And for me, this surely is not it. This was a bit higher on my ranking before because there are more objectively objectionable songs out there. But the nonsensical, repetitive lyrics, the painful attempt at a high note on perdónameeee, and getting stuck on a bus where I had to put up said screeching being played 5+ times means #35 is about right for where it deserves.

34. Armenia - Chains on you Armenia, usually a reliable mainstay in the top half of my listings at least, instead served up one of the most bewilderingly impalatable NFs of the season where every song sounded imported from the ESC anni horribili of the 00s. This has grown on me a little bit - I like tin drums and I like her weird accent - but the lyrics are amongst the year’s most pitiful (“ya wanna take me to a party, because you’re naughty”) and it just feels cheep to me. 33. Bulgaria - Tears getting sober I don’t see the appeal in this bewildering merger of dirge and Disney, and this is coming from someone who likes melancholic music more times than not. I find this one straight up unpleasant to listen to. The lyrics are of someone passive-aggressively glorying in the pain they wallow in to return the hurt, in “look how much you’re making me hurt myself” style. The syrupy score replete with key change is a bizarre, ghoulish accompaniment. Only this high because I recognise some artistic merit in its production.

32. Azerbaijan - Cleopatra Are Azerbaijan now at the stage where they’ve decided to pastiche themselves? The country with the worst LGBT rights of all contesting ESC having the monumental neck to send a song about “gay or straight or in between”? The country who have almost religiously avoided sending anything with any actual Azeri national character or heritage sending a song written by a Canadian, an American and a Frisian about a Greek-Egyptian ruler with a Japanese mantra and Latin affectations, so sending us around the world to pretty much everywhere except Azerbaijan? What can I say in favour of it? It’s a little bit catchy. So are venereal diseases.

31. Poland - Empires How can a country who started their ESC journey with aplomb - and experimental gems like Sama and Chcę znać swój grzech - and who continue to serve in the junior contest, how can they be so almost studiedly bland in ESC these days? This is our 564th knockoff Bond tune, sung a little awkwardly and with lyrics written by a Year 8 who’s been given a creätive writing assignment where they have to use metaphors. “We’re gasoline and a match!” Wow. If it passed to the final, it would only because of loyal Poles abroad.

30. Greece - Superg!rl We leave the territory of complete dirges and enter that of songs I can sort of live with. This one’s a huge step back for the Hellenes though after the gorgeous Better love. Its odd chorus is memorable, but not for the best reasons. Its saving grace is its unintentionally humorous promotional video. A better use of those superpowers would have been to come up with a better song.

29. Moldova - Prison Remember the fun Moldova that used to bring songs like Hora din Moldova and Lautar, with some actual national flavour and flair? That’s long gone. Even the Moldova that brought terrible songs but fun stagings, like that of My lucky day, seems far lost into the fogs of time too. Another wholly unremarkable and mediocre production of the Scream Team that would be lucky to scrape into the finals.  28. Belgium - Release me Has Belgium learnt absolutely nothing in the years Blanche where the wheels of their ESC renaissance have fallen decidedly off? My feeling is no. I have to salute them to some degree for creating nice, very musical compositions, but just like in the past two years, they have forgotten to add a few key elements: some sense of progression or dynamism. This plods along repetitively on one track, one note, and that note is nice enough as background music, but my hunch is that track would have led them to another unsurprising “surprise” NQ.

27. Serbia - Hasta la vista It’s an earworm, but some earworms leave you wanting to get an aural exorcism. Somehow, some sort of collective insanity overcame Serbia and they decided to dump on their beautiful oeuvre of songs, go completely against their trend for qualitative, classical, brooding, orchestral music by instead picking a bunch of time travellers who had been a third rate girl band in Transnistria. How enough Serbians thought they’d win over Europe by going for a sound that was dated even when they made their début bemuses me. 26. UK - My last breath The UK are really soaring high in my rankings as... the last amongst the 26 songs that would make up my notional perfect final. Baby steps. I still think it’s pretty lame how the BBC tanked their own national final for this. It’s not so adventurous. It has so little to say that it’s half a minute shorter than the ESC standard and yet still consists of repetition. It has one of the most annoying chorus quirks with that beat in “my last... breath.” How did this get up this high again?

25. Albania - Fall from the sky It absolutely pains my heart to put Albania out of the top 20 after two thunderous years in which they captured my gold and bronze respectively. What makes it worse is that they could have had a perfect hat-trick, because the original, Albanian language version “Shaj” was my #1 song from December up until mid-March when they released this thin gruel of a revamp with all the things that gave Shaj some authenticity and flavour gone, and with beautiful, heart-rending lyrics replaced with cliché. Only this high because there are plenty of worse songs.

24. Czechia - Kemama I have a soft spot for poor Benny, the interpreter of this song. Ok, so it beat a field containing some vastly superior songs, but it’s nice to have a Czech song without weird lyrics about women for the first time in a while, and the way the kid was put through the ringer for his more Afrobeat-influenced revamp made me sad. For me, it gained a bit of flavour with that change. The lyrics are still poor but I like the colourful musical backdrop.

23. Israël - Feker libi 🇮🇱 Sometimes, you don’t think much of a song but the artist elevates it enormously. Such is the case with Feker libi, a bizarre pot pourri of styles with a very discordant tropical verse (which I like), mid-90s dance track chorus (which I don’t), middle eastern post-chorus and African-sounding outro (jury’s out on both.) Yet Eden Alene is so full of natural charm and exudes “I want to be your friend” that I can’t help but rewatch just because of how joyous she makes it.

22. San Marino - Freaky 🇸🇲 Speaking of atypical countries flying high in my ranking, all was set for San Marrano to take non-pride of place at the bottom of my ranks yet again, but somehow, I ended up quite enjoying their track this year. Yes, San Marino is still a weird zone where, when you descend to Rimini in Italy, you enter the new millennium, but returning up the tiny nation’s steep slopes, you head back to a time in the 70s when disko was king. This disco is fun though. In part thanks to Senhit, a sympathetic performer who deserved more in 2011, in part the lyrics - who doesn’t want to rip up the rules, write new ones and then destroy them too?

22. Switzerland - Répondez-moi It’s nice to have the Swiss singing in a national language for the first time in ages. It’s also nice that they didn’t fall back on their success with Hänni by going with a similar so-called bOp. I also really love some of the artist’s other tracks, like Babi. And I liked this a fair bit more upon first listen, but the combination of less than stellar lyrics - just a succession of somewhat emoïsh rhetorical questions; just because they’re in French, doesn’t make them deep - and a wailing falsetto have made my will to relisten to this often take a serious hit for me. A shame, as musically, it has some undoubted quality. 20. Denmark - Yes 🇩🇰 Denmark seems to be doubling down on 2019 to develop its new niche - catchy, sweet but ultimately a little overly gooey love songs. There’s always something a little bit imperfect about them though: last year it was Leonora’s serial killer-esque nervous gaze; this year, it’s the “I’m not going to even try to make pretend we’re an item” lack of energy from Tan. It’s a little bit too reheated “Little talks” but it’s decent enough.

19. Russia - Uno 🇷🇺 When this first was released, days after the deadline for submitting songs, I was pretty peeved at what seemed like a pisstake against the contest, a bizarre rehash of Aqua for the meme age. And yet.. maybe it’s the quarantine slowly driving me insane, maybe it’s the sheer infectiousness of this that just makes you want to dance, maybe it’s the epic energy of the backing singer (Rosa from Brooklyn 99’s twin) who looks like she wants to kill everyone else... but I’ve actually grown to like this enough to put it top 20. I’m not always entirely predictable!

18. Norway - Attention 🇳🇴 There’s a lot of things that tick my yes boxes with this song, like the beautiful orchestral music laid out by the famed Mørland or the simple but sincere performance. There are also things that take a Sharpie and scrawl in my no boxes too, like the somewhat whiny tone of the vocals or the adolescent and lyrics which, with their “oy’d change anyffink abaat moyself fur a boi” tone, don’t flatter the singer, and from Mørland, I expect better. There’s more good than bad here though, and it has been an earworm since the day it was selected.

17. Belarus - Da widna 🇧🇾 I don’t know what was in the water this year, but we got a bunch of great Slavic language songs, including from countries that don’t typically send songs except in English. I like the chilled out vibe and the curious lyrics. Their live version for Eurovision Home Concerts with just an acoustic guitar sounded a whole lot better, I must say.

16. Australia - Don’t break me 🇦🇺 I’m finally overcoming the horror of the bizarre clown mise-en-scène complete with ropey lyrics at Australia decides and judging this on its potential. Hands down Australia’s best entry at the contest for me. Musically, it’s strong, and lyrically, it’s compelling and very saudadic. I’m sad we won’t see what a glow-up their final staging could have provided. I really hope it wouldn’t have involved clowns, which seriously tanked the song in my ranking for months, no joke.

15. Portugal - Medo de sentir 🇵🇹 A Portuguese entry outside of my top ten? Given their form with me since 2015, this might seem like a harbinger of the apocalypse. I still like it quite a bit, but there are stronger songs this time. It’s heartfelt, the lyrics are powerful (about being afraid to feel again after being hurt) and the melody is pretty. The live was a bit cagey especially because of the not particularly well synchronised voices of Elisa and the pianist, who composed the song. Still a very nice song and it is great to see Portugal staying faithful to its language, but I can’t help but feel sad that songs more in line with its riskier, more trailblazing previous few years. Passe-partout or Gerbera amarela do sul would have been in my top 3 like last year.

14. Latvia - Still breathing 🇱🇻 If you told me in January that not only would this song not be disliked, it’d also end up in my top 15 of the year, I’m sure incredulous laughter would have been the most polite response you’d have probably gotten. And yet - the song I couldn’t stand in Supernova has won me over and I do want to see Samanta Tina return for 2021 since she evidently cares so deeply about ESC so is pretty much one of us. I’ve come to love the weirdness of the track - real meat and gravy given the number of anodyne tracks - the iconic pre-corona hygienic leitmotif of its staging. ST’s joie de vivre and command of the stage. It’d be a guilty pleasure except I don’t feel guilty for it.

13. Georgia - Take me as I am 🇬🇪 Georgia once again are dancing to the beats of their very anarchic drummer and I love them for that. This thinly veiled swipe at both the Big 5 coasting in mediocrity and at narrow-minded fans’ reäctions to Georgia’s extremely varied oeuvre just hits the spot for me. I love the musicality of it, the dark electro-rock vibes, Tornike’s voice and how it blends perfectly with his captivating backing singers. I always vote with my feet for something different in an era where people are aiming to qualify with safe and bland rather than taking risks.

12. Romania - Alcohol you 🇷🇴 Roxen provided one of the most iconic moments of the season by deliberately tanking the ordained bop amongst her national final songs. Her eventual song is one of the most emotional of the year, and also one of the most surprisingly literary: there are tonnes of nuances, allusions, wordplays and so forth in this text, most of which are a lot more graceful than the titular terrible pun. I humbly put it to folk who thinks that this romanticises alcohol that they are missing the point - it’s instead being used as a metaphor for toxic relations which, by the end of the song, Roxen has broken away from. I love her voice, I love the music. It fell briefly out of my affections because of the weird mini-revamp, but it’s risen again.

11. Ukraine - Solowej 🇺🇦 It’s fabulous to see Ukraine singing a song entirely in their language and I hope this trend continues across the Slavic nations like was notable this year. The timeless folksy elements mixing with modern beats makes a curious and entrancing blend, delivered with aplomb. It takes where Poland 2019 went wrong and puts it right. I could have done without the unnecessary revamp, but it’s still one of the year’s freshest cuts. Well done, Widbir!

10. Slovenia - Voda 🇸🇮 In an age where the likes of Albania is stripping away all the beautiful orchestral flourishes of its entry to make a pared and muted revamp, Slovenia went full throttle in the opposite - and in my mind, right - direction and made one of the very few good revamps of the season. Performing with the Budapest philharmonic orchestra, Ana Soklič, who, for my money, has one of the best female voices of the year, unleashed the cinematic, sweeping beauty of Voda. I think this would have surprised many people by doing quite well. On musical and vocal merit alone, and adding to that the subdued saudade of its lyrics, it deserved a lot more love.

09 Malta - All of my love 🇲🇹 In 2018, I would have sooner said that it was more probable for me to have become Grand-Duke of Luxembourg than it was for me to have loved a Maltese song, let alone two i n a r o w. I didn’t expect much of this at all, because I expected we’d get a wailing vocal exhibition, as Ian used to say, focused on exhibiting Destiny’s range rather than giving her a genuinely good song. But this is a genuinely good song. Once again, I love for the gospel edge it has, and Destiny’s vocals soar to impressive heights, without feeling unnatural or ostentatious. I should have known to expect good things with the regal Cesár Sampson on board.

08 Lithuania - On fire 🇱🇹 Prior to this year, few people had any hopes for Lithuania’s long-winded national final selection process. The idea of it being must-watch viewing when there were many other more compelling choices on offer was hilarious. In 2020, that changed. They changed the name to the hilarious but hopeful “Let’s try again”, had a number of fantastic songs, and became one of the most diverse and qualitative highlights of the NF season. The eventual winners, The Roop, deserved the accolade with this cool, super contemporary track with a brilliant dance routine and a genuinely important message about not giving up on yourself.

07. Sweden - Move 🇸🇪 At MF this year, the Swedes put a match to its protracted ‘cocky fuckboi with polished, soulless overproduced pop song’ era, hopefully for good, with an all-female top 4. I will always lament Dotter missing out narrowly, but I’ve still been brought plenty of joy by the radiant Mamas with their fabulous hand-choreography and genuine warmth, and this song of resilience through the tough times. I love gospel-tinged music and this really makes me smile.

06 Ireland - The story of my life 🇮🇪 Before this was announced, I heard Ireland’s track being compared to the oeuvre of pretty much every major 00s female pop star. I was quizzical, but upon hearing it, could see why. In a year with a lot of beige, this is just one big orange and yellow blast of colourful late 90s/early 00s nostalgia, hope, resilience. The kind of anthem I never knew I needed but came right on time. I can’t listen to its wry, conversational lyrics without wanting to dance along. And Lesley Roy herself is an icon. My favourite effort from Ireland since Playing by numbers, and I really hope she returns in 2021.

05 Finland - Looking back 🇫🇮 I’ll never forget a mural in the part of València where I used to live that said “we’re not different for the sake of being different”, and that could sum up my attitudes to Eurovision. Whilst it seemed almost everyone was behind Cicciolina in Finland, I had scant hope for my favourite, and was blown away when it actually did win. This melancholy meditation on the passing of time and people - “we never know what we have until it’s over and we’re looking back” - became emblematic of this year for me and added to what was already a really poignant and moving track. I love the musical style too and the smoothness of Aksel’s voice and how it contrasts with his evident awkward shyness. It has moved me so much that it had to end up top 5.

04 Croatia - Divlji vjetre 🇭🇷 I always will represent and bring love for the Balkans and their adhesion to their musical traditions. This was one of the most pleasant surprises of the NF season for me - I was expecting very little from Croatia, and instead, it greeted me with this beauty. You have the understated classic grace of the music, the exquisite melancholy and poeticism of the lyrics, and one of the finest male vocals of the season. My favourite Croatian track in almost 15 years.

03 Italy - Fai rumore 🇮🇹 Sanremo isn’t just a national final, it’s a cultural experience that digs into your heart over the course of a whole week. This was one of the most memorable I have followed yet - and what a truly deserving winner. It’s just another example of the seemingly endless supply of heartfelt tunes by classy, sincere performers that Italy has on tap, with one of the best lyrics of the contest and the extra level of poignancy from how the lyrical theme of isolation would come to represent us all.

02 Iceland - Think about things 🇮🇸 One of my nerviest and happiest moments of the entire NF season was seeing Daði Freyr and friends win Söngvakeppnin in Iceland. As much as I loved Svala’s Paper, I had also adored his song three years prior - the delightfully awkward and similarly irrepressably earwormy Is this love. And now he was back with a groovy, fun, heartwarming tune about fatherhood that has only continued to grow in my estimations. The bridge still full on gives me goosebumps. It’s the kind of song that just makes me marvel at being human and being on this earth.

01 Netherlands - Grow 🇳🇱 My top few songs are all very closely entwined so much so that they could be considered joint winners, but I’ve been pretty unequivocal ever since Shaj got torpedoed by its revampire: silver turned to gold and my previous 2nd place, Grow, became my new favourite. I love the heartfelt, sparsely poëtic, bravely confessional lyrics. I love the way that it goes from something minimalist and intimate with just organ and voice and slowly builds upon the hints of gospel to something truly anthemic. Such a meticulous arrangement where there’s not a single sound out of place. This song is pure art and, like Soldi, Mall, APD and all those preceding songs which had the magic of being my personal favourite, it moves me upon every listen.

[oikawa13]

love in the time of köttbullar

Shouyou sets the bowl on the tiny table with a flourish and an itadakimasu! and this is when it hits Atsumu harder than a Skurup to the temple:He wants this. Shouyou, hip cocked against the miniature kitchen countertop, smiling shyly up at Atsumu through the amber fan of his lashes, beautiful god-boy-man somehow glowing gold even under the buzzy LED lighting. Though they’re standing in a 430,000 square foot warehouse in Tsurumachi, Atsumu’s looking at Shouyou, and he’s home.

Amid the Flärdfull and the Smörboll, Miya Atsumu falls a little more in love.

words: 3,378 | rating: T

i’ve never been inside an ikea so this fic quite literally changed me as a person. sometimes loving a person is as scary as saying that first i love you!!!! and sometimes... love is easy as saying i love you at an ikea ; ;

LAUNCHING MERRILY DOWN THE PATH OF SIN (THE FIRST TIME)

"Bokuto said I should bring you home. But I don’t know where you live. So I took you here.”

“To hell?”

"No, Atsumu-san. To my apartment."

words: 1,990 | rating T

i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this fic and then go on ao3 to reread it again its just so fdjgfhdjf good. i think about this shoyo a lot. theres something!!!! very dreamy going on here. this is the first part to a series btw, you can read them all if you want since theyre probably all around 1k :-)

lord i no longer believe in anything but the way he holds my name between his teeth

The miracle of the rabbit on the moon.

“We took this photo at their seventh birthday party. His father baked a cake. But someone ate all the jellybeans off the top before they could even sing the birthday song. That’s why Atsumu cried. He used to cry a lot. It stopped when the twins found out about volleyball, but before that Atsumu would cry over everything. Spilled milk. A skinned knee. The neighbor’s dog. He was the twin that was scared of paper straws. It's funny how things have changed.

“He looks happier now. Did you do that?”

words: 10,456 | rating: T

so, this goes just a liiiiitle past 10k so its up to you if you want to read it or not, i just thought i’d include it since its so! close! lol theres this part!!!!! they are holding hands underneath the table!!!!!!!!! atsumu are you drunk?!!! no!!!!! hes just so stupidly in love with shoyo. i cant stand them!!!!!!!!!!!

wait for it, wait for it

The notifications are up at 100+ again and Hana wants to check it quickly to make sure nothing's wrong, especially because she'd just cleared them before the media scrum. The fans, she figured, must be overjoyed with the win.Congratulations MSBY Nation!!! the first reply reads. #myspiker #atsuhinaBoth tags, she finds, are currently trending in Japan.

Five times #atsuhina trended on volleyball Twitter and one time it should have (but luckily didn't), as told by the MSBY Black Jackals' junior publicist

words: 6,043 | rating: T

this fic is SOOOOO much fun!!!!!! also i love hana, idk if i ever mentioned that before but yeah. this is like... hdjkdhgjfd so much ; ; <3

south of an early summer

Warmth, then, was being wanted back. Two weeks later, Atsumu holds that warmth in by Shouyou’s waist; he watches it, how it sleeps, and wonders what the heat will become next.

words: 2,602 | rating T | tw: atsumu being atsumu about (past) kg/hn for a split second

IF i wasnt an absolute fool and gave you all these recommendations to pick and choose from id just send you this and the walking emoji bc honestly!!!!!!!!! i may not know what the heck romantic means but i see this and maybe it is romantic! maybe its not the average romantic idk?!!!! but i do know theres something beautiful here. love ?? ; ;

truths in two’s

Shouyou leaves for Brazil in two hours.

words: 8,300 | rating: T

LDR.... but like, in probably one of the easiest 2 breathe/good feeling fic for ldr!!!! idk im a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ten reasons to break up with me: a love letter

1. It has to be you, ‘cause I won’t.

words: 4,197 | rating: T

pls....... i cant even THINK about this fic without crying okay!!!!!!!! insane. fuckign!!!! i love it so much, so much. it lives in my heart. this is the fic where i was like... i dont believe in love. yes i do. no<3 YES!!!!!!!! and cried and paced my room and finally FINALLY!!!!!! stopped feeling so hurt about hinata leaving for brazil again lmao!! like, i cant explain. this sounds crazy right???? anyway, i think... atsuhina can love each other so much it hurts when theyre apart but their love is so.... i mean......... they literally waited years to play together... so......... their love keeps them going..... GOODBYE!!!! i love listening to fka twigs cellophane & home with you and just..... being insane. 

just can’t help myself

Five times Hinata takes care of Atsumu, and one time Atsumu returns the favor.

words: 5,025 | rating: T

*think about atshn taking care of each other* *cries*

blue crush

And there’s a promise there, sewn into the easy curve of his lips: I’m not going anywhere, Atsumu-san. Glittering eyes that cut through the rain-blurry dark like a beacon when Shouyou turns back to look up at him. Even if you fuck up all of our dates.

Murphy’s Law as demonstrated by Miya Atsumu.

words: 2,297 | rating: T

atsumu trying very hard to have things perfect and romantic and even in the failures its still very lovely<3

If I’m Icarus, You Must be the Sun (Allow me Three Mistakes)

He wonders if Icarus felt like nothing was wrong with self-destructing, because he had reveled in the sun, if only for a little while.

Atsumu finds, loving Hinata is the same.

Atsumu's love over the years, and the mistakes that accompany it.

words: 4,620 | rating: T

i am...very weak to the whole icarus/sun thing with hinata and his ships. this one though......... i think about it A lot.

in your eyes, i see our future

“Yer’ a real sweetheart, Hinata Shouyou.”

Shouyou smiles brilliantly. “Only for you~”

He scoots over so Shouyou can sit next to him. He can smell the pineapple body wash Shouyou is so fond of the moment he sits down. Shouyou passes the tray over carefully before settling against the headboard comfortably.

“What’s the occasion?"

(Or, Atsumu just really wants to marry Shouyou.)

words: 9,769 | rating: T

fhdsjjkjfdsj goes crazy stupid over marriage!!!!! listen... i do not believe in marriage!!!!! but for atsuhina, oh you bet i do!!!! :-)

breathing a hello

There’s no significance to them ending up here except that both of their lives are held in the sway of volleyball. Everything else comes second.That’s the crux of it, really.

words: 2,826 | rating: T

gjhfsjkfd shhhhhhhhh. my heart is very soft when i think of them here, please..... just!!!! pls.

if you’re out there in the cold, i’ll cover you in moonlight

My [23M] best friend and ex-boyfriend [23M] is visiting me for a week, and my current boyfriend [24M] who agreed to all of this is suddenly withdrawing from me. Can I get some advice? Please? Anyone?

words: 8335 | rating: T | chapters: 3 | tw: past kg/hn 😳

this one is optional since you wanted one shots and theres 3 chapters here. my idea of romantic is...well, i especially love when one of them is acting hurtful/mean/difficult to the other bc their own personal issues but the other loves them anyway??? and then they work on that issue!!! just!!!!! ; ;

Love in the Time of Insomnia

And anyway Hinata was sprinting out faithfully after Atsumu, who had keys to the gym like a badass, and who was going to give his spikers a few more tosses after-hours without Meian knowing like the greatest, most generous badass the Jackals had ever seen. 

words: 2,457 | rating: G

running four kilometers just so atsumu can rest. this is what romantic means!!!! hdkshjfhdj

ode to what you’d have been

5 times it’s Kageyama’s fault and the 1 time Hinata realizes it has never been.

words: 3,628 | rating: G

loving someone including their flaws PART 2!!!!!! ok.... u might be like... um... this is romantic? hfdkhjfd LISTEN!!!! to me!!! there is nothing more romantic than being in love with someone and the ugly parts of them. going, i love you, all of you. and communication!!! and understanding!!! and feeling terrible and shitty and horrible but having the one you love accept you. and trying to help ease your mind, worries. *sobs real hard* also shout out 2 ‘okaaayy.... i hate sakusa now’

a shrine for a  boy

Despite his uncertainty about how to tell Atsumu of his move to São Paulo, Hinata takes action. Things do not go according to plan.

words: 2,447 | rating: G

hinatas time 2 be romantic and fail but its ok bc!!!!!!!!!! :-) they are just dummies in love<3

the greatest distance between you and longing is defeat

(In other words: Atsumu, let go. I’m here now.)

words: 3,310 | rating: G

um... *cries* post break up.... o_o!!!! god they really thought they could????? lmao!!!!!!

the tear in this (our gentle language)

“I’m going back to Brazil.”

He isn’t asking for permission. This isn’t a consultation. Hinata Shouyou informs his boyfriend at their after-practice practice. Miya Atsumu has a volleyball in each arm, trying to pick up a third. It drops and rolls away from him. The thud resounding in an empty gymnasium.

Shouyou had tried to envision Atsumu’s reaction many times. He never expected to be met with silence.

Alternatively: an exploration of Hinata Shouyou’s return to Brazil

words: 7,204 | rating: M

ldr CAN be romantic ok!!!!!!!! it takes a lot of communication, time, and love ; ;

evening sun

Atsumu looks at Shouyou and thinks, I want to know every inch of you.

words: 1,502 rating: M

[theharrystyleseffect]

Oh I didn't know that about the floor, that's cool. I just seen some clips too but seems like it was a good show. I'm sad though that Harry didn't mention köttbullar. Haha, he needs to be in Sweden more often because he's forgetting his Swedish. Hope you are having a great time at your concert =)

HE DIDN’T MENTION THE MEATBALLS? I am disappointed in him! Harold, where are your manners, boy!? Did he say anything at all? Like, jag elskar dig or or something unoriginal cos he fails to understand what the difference between ‘you’ and ‘you guys’ mean in scandinavia?

That said, tonight’s gig (my gig with Gorillaz) was AMAZING and GENUINELY probably one of the best gigs I’ve been to. Damon Albarn is a fucking genius. All the caps in the world off to him and his band. Find someone who treats music the way he does. He’s a rare find.

[det-vackraste]

Okey, so you're really supposed to be tagged by someone to do this, but since I don't have time to wait for that, imma go ahead and tag myself

1. selfie I’m on mobile, so… sorry, but check my “me” tag 2. what would you name your future kids? jeez, I don’t know.. If I have a boy I think I want one of his names to be Finn, cause that was my grandpa’s name plus it’s a cute name. If a girl, maybe give her my middle name Märta, just to pass that on down, but other than that I don’t know.. 3. do you miss anyone? Hmm.. maybe one of my friends who’s been away backpacking since January, and isn’t getting back home until June 4. what are you looking forward to? My mum, sister and I are planning a spa trip, so I’m looking forward to that 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? My boyfriend, my dog or my best friend since 11 years 6. is it hard for you to get over someone? I haven’t really had to get over someone before, so I don’t know, but I can imagine I either don’t give a fuck or have a really hard time, no in between. 7. what was your life like last year? Real good. Last semester of school, so everything was chill, fun and exciting 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? Well, I’m a crier when I’m angry or frustrated enough, so yeah probably 9. who did you last see in person? My boyfriend, who’s sleeping next to me 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? I can be if I want to 11. are you listening to music right now? Nope 12. what is something you want right now? grapes and cash 13. how do you feel right now? Pretty good. Chilling in bed, a little sleepy. A tad bit too warm, cause Sebastian is clinging to every inch of me in his sleep, but I really don’t mind 14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? If his current clinging counts as a hug; my boyfriend 15. personality description I can come off as a bit bitchy/boring/shy, but if I find you funny I’ll open up and be more fun and crazy. If I like you enough I’m also probably the most loyal bitch on this planet. 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? Yeah I have. Two of my friends who dated for a year had a nasty breakup, and quite soon after that the guy had sex with someone else. I promised him that I wouldn’t tell his ex. That was hard. But I didn’t… 17. opinion on insecurities. Not sure what this question wants, but… Insecurities are shit, and I’m doing pretty good with ignoring mine 18. do you miss how things were a year ago? On one hand yes, cause I had a clear routine and somewhere to be everyday, and everything was so chill and exciting since it was a few months before graduation. But on the other hand I’m okey with moving on with my life. I still have the people from a year ago that I care about, and I’m starting to get a clearer view of my future life choices so it almost excites me 19. have you ever been to New York? No I haven’t, would like to go though 20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Man, I don’t know… I’m a junkie for “Balladen om herr Fredrik Åkare och den söta fröken Cecilia Lind” by Cornelis Vreeswijk 21. age and birthday? 20 years old, January 7th 22. description of crush. Except for my boyfriend I don’t have a crush atm. But when I do, they’re pretty much always the same type of guy(my boyfriend included.. I have a very specific type, okey?); * Dark, a lil longer, curly-curlyish hair * Tall, lanky * (Harry Styles, Kit Harington, Robert Sheehan, Sirius Black) *Skinny jeans in legs for days *Big hands *Tall 23. fear(s) 
I’m scared to death of spiders, no joke. Also scared of darker things, like the future, being lonely and such 24. height 167cm, whatever that is in feet 25. role model Uhh… don’t know really..? 26. idol(s) Harry Styles is a really good human being tbh 27. things i hate Cold places, brushing my teeth (it’s the most boring fucking thing I know) 28. i’ll love you if… You love me, probably. I’m trash for affection 29. favourite film(s) Man I don’t know… I’m not at all picky with movies, and usually like every movie I see, so….? 30. favourite tv show(s) Game of thrones & friends 31. 3 random facts * I’ve seen every season of “RuPaul’s drag race”. Pearl is my babe. * I’m basically CONSTANTLY moving/jerking/twitching at least one of my feet or toes in some kind of way. Don’t know why, but I’ve done it for like 8 years now, feels weird when I don’t * I don’t eat sauce. Not on burgers, or pizza, or Kebab or anything. Basically only eat ketchup. 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? My closest, closest friends are mainly girls, but among all (lol, makes it sound like a lot) of my friends, it’s quite evenly divided 33. something you want to learn More languages, although I hate actually learning it, so I doubt it’s gonna happen.. I would also like to be better than I am at piano 34. most embarrassing moment ?? I’m an embarrassing person so… don’t know 35. favourite subject I like English and Swedish (my 1st language) cause I enjoy writing. Other than that, biology 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? * Want to find my dream occupation * Want to go to Australia * Want to share an apartment with either bestie or boyfriend 37. favourite actor/actress Leonardo DiCaprio is nice, I don’t know 38. favourite comedian(s) Asså mannen, Johan Glans 39. favourite sport(s) I don’t really do sports… but like… figure skating? (Eller gång, det är nog min favvo) 40. favourite memory I have a few: * Front row on One Direction’s where we are tour concert at Wembley. The whole 24 hours prior to the concert itself was amazing, and then being in the front row was just unreal. And then Harry screaming “köttbullar” (=meatballs, cause we had a Swedish flag) at us. Best day. * Like the entire week before graduation was great. Prom, chilling in the sun, graduating. It was all really nice. We bought a big, inflatable pool, so when the rest of the students were still in school, all of the graduates had pool parties in the school yard * One time when my boyfriend was playing some game on his computer, to gain his attention, I climbed up into his lap and latched myself around him like a backwards backpack, and then I accidentally fell asleep there. Slept for about an hour. Best nap of my life. 41. relationship status In a relationship since three years 42. favourite book(s) I’m such an embarrassing sucker for the entire Harry Potter series and that entire universe. Other than that I loved “the Book thief” by Marcus Zusak 43. favourite song ever God…….. I don’t know 44. age you get mistaken for I don’t think I’ve been mistaken ever… But quite often my friends have to show ID at bars, but I don’t? 45. how you found out about your idol My best friend showed me this boy band she had discovered, and well there he was 46. what my last text message says “Where’s the lie tho” in response to a screenshot of a funny text post I was sent 47. turn ons Oh god, where do i start.. * cockiness, but not in a gross way, but just a smug, confident way..? Making sense? * Hands. Long, slim fingers; hands of a pianist * Long, slim legs in skinny jeans * Jaw lines * Tiny man butts * Veiny forearms * Tall people * Smoking..? I don’t know why? I don’t even like smoking? It’s just something aesthetically pleasing with long, slender fingers holding a cigarette * HAIR, dark, long luscious locks * Kissing. Anywhere but the lips (lips too tho) * Biting * Teasing * Hands, grabbing, groping, gentle slapping. You name it, it probably turns me on 48. turn offs Like…. pissing? And snus (snuff). So fucking gross 49. where i want to be right now Somewhere with a lowest temperature of 25 degrees Celsius 50. favourite picture of your idol I’m on mobile, man, but probably like… messy bun, a flimsy shirt that’s really out there, and some sparkly boots 51. starsign I’m your typical Capricorn 52. something i’m talented at Like… music stuff.. I have a really good ear for keys and such in music..? 53. 5 things that make me happy * Sunshine * Dogs * Travelling * My boyfriend and best friend * Reading/drawing 54. Name something you’re currently worried about The future; what do I want to do for a living, and hence; what do I want to study at uni? 55. tumblr friends I’m not really tumblr active in that way.. I just reblog nice pictures of nice things and that’s that. One time TT answered one of my asks 56. favourite food(s) Tacos. 57. favourite animal(s) Dogs Foxes, because they’re extra pretty dogs 58. description of my best friend Real smol. 59. why i joined tumblr Facebook was so 2010

[singingfirefliess]

Prompt: Five more minutes!

This isn’t at all how he imaginedtheir second date would go.

Then again, he’s never been on anactual date before until last week when he took Carol out to dinner.Or rather: when Carol took him out cause he’d been too much ofa chicken to ask her out himself. He’d wanted to for weeks, but henever assumed she’d actually want the same. Not when she’s pretty andsoft and kind while he is always covered in motor oil and grease withhis hair hiding his face and too goddamn shy to really talk to her.

Then she’d asked him, completely outof the blue and with a flush on her cheeks that made his knees weak.They’d been sitting on one of the benches in the courtyard of the carshop, the radio blasting from inside the metal walls – still notloud enough to silence the rapid fire beating of his heart.

She’d looked so pretty in thesunlight, freckles dotting her pale skin as she nibbled on one of thesandwiches she always brings over from the diner across the streetwhere she works.

Until a few weeks ago, a pimplefaced kid had made the delivery (something Dale organized months agoto make sure all the guys got something proper to eat). But then oneday Carol had showed up with a basket full of neatly wrappedsandwiches and with auburn curls framing her pretty face.

After a while, she started to lingerand they’d started talking. It was easier with her than with mostpeople. All too soon, spending his lunch break with Carol became hisfavorite part of the day.

Their dinner had been awkward. Hismouth felt dry and he was too distracted by Carol’s black dress andred lips to think clearly. In the end, she’d kissed his cheek andwhispered good night when he dropped her off at her house, though.Somehow, she stuck around even after that.

Only now he’s stuck at IKEA and he’spretty sure this is not what other people do on a second date.

Carol is completely enthralled,though. A constant smile etched to her face, her hand clasped aroundhis as she dragged him around. His skin burned where she touched him,so casual that he wondered if she even realized it.

He’s already had to sit on everycouch and open pretty much ever kitchen drawer (and he did get to layin five different beds with Carol, all much nicer than his own, andhe thinks that’s pretty good for a second date).

Now, he’s standing in the middle ofa warehouse sized room filled to the brim with… crap. Everythingfrom towels to dishes to picture frames and vases. Everything youcould possibly clutter your home with. The cart he’s pushing isstarting to fill at rapid speed and suddenly he wonders if the trunkof his truck is big enough for it all (he’d offered to come here whenshe mentioned she needed a set of new chairs, sighing when shecomplained about the delivery costs and her own car, too small).Maybe he made a mistake in offering his help he wonders now as Carolruns her hand over a fluffy, purple rug.

“We almost done here?” he asks,trying not to sound annoyed. Because he really isn’t. Hell, he’d dopretty much anything if it means he gets to spend time with her. Butby now he feels like he’s being dragged into a very plush, verycolorful Hell.

Thankfully, Carol doesn’t seem totake it the wrong way, but she does look a little bashful.

“Sorry, I know I get a bit tooexcited here,” she says, nudging the huge pile of rugs with the tipof her sandals. “I haven’t been here in forever.”

He didn’t mean to make her feel badabout it. “’s all right,” he reassures her, and her face lightsup when he offers her a weak smile. It’s the best he’s got.

“Just five more minutes, okay? Wehaven’t gotten to the best part yet.”

His eyes widen a little and then herhand is back on his, tugging him and the cart down the aisle,following the arrows on the ground. “An’ what’s that?”

“Candles!”

Considering the blistering heatoutside Daryl has no idea what the hell she needs candles for. But hefollows her anyway, squeezing past little clusters of people who fawnover knick knacks and other useless stuff like toothbrush holders andwoven boxes.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it worthyour while,” Carol promises, slowing down a little. Suddenly sheseems to realize she’s still clutching his hand and she drops it,cheeks red. “Have you ever had Köttbullar?”

“That some kind of disease?” heasks, the name completely unfamiliar and her question mightyconfusing. Then again, everything in this place apparently has beengiven some really creepy, weird name.

Carol laughs, a light and carefreesound that sends warmth through his veins. He wants to hear it overand over like the best kind of song. “Don’t worry, I won’t give youthe clap or anything.” She says it with a straight face while hisown mouth drops open and his eyes widen. By the time her gigglebreaks out she’s already nudged her elbow ever so softly into hisribs and he suddenly doesn’t remember how to breathe or walk,tripping over his own damn boot at her boldness.

“Wha-”

“They’re meatballs,” sheexplains, pearly white teeth sparkling as she grins. “You’ll lovethem.”

And then, completely unfazed by whatshe just did, Carol strolls ahead, aiming straight for the biggestarray of candles he has ever seen in his life.