#“what did you do to me” <- fully aware you were asleep when the brainrot started

[lavenoon]

When you're 5'3 and the bf is 9'6 that makes for some interesting challenges

@naffeclipse I was normal about him two days ago, what did you do to me FHDJS

og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!

[b4tboys]

➣ genshin men who would be dilfs

pairing: diluc, kaeya, thoma, & childe w/ gn! reader

warnings: very suggestive but nothing explicit, alcohol consumption in kaeya’s part

notes from lee: *sees no dilf content*, fine i’ll do it myself; uh pretty much single dad + not married scenarios since i’m not a fan of cheating, wrote this on full brainrot mode so hopefully makes sense

diluc:

like father like son

diluc definitely takes after crepus in the sense that he is a total dilf and single father

he has a cute little red headed girl that run around the orchard that is almost a carbon copy of him

he doesn’t have the time to take care of her with his growing responsibilities so he hires you to do it rather than the clueless maids

is still one of the top elegible bachelors in mondstadt too

diluc has just checked in on his little girl, who’s fast asleep in her room, before coming down the stairs to talk to you. he sighs as he makes his way down, pulling off his gloves in a hasty manner. “again, i’m so sorry. work in the wine guild has been backed up, but that’s no excuse for me return home as late as i have.”

it wasn’t the first time it had happened but it was the latest, diluc always made sure to come back before the sun was fully set. but honestly it’s what you were expecting when he hadn’t returned. “it’s no problem really and your daughter is such a delight.”

he sighs deeply yet again, pulling off his overcoat and draping it over the chair. “still i feel bad for making you stay this late. it’s too dark for me to let you walk home alone and i-,” he pauses mid thought and takes off his top coat, leaving him in less layers you’ve seen before.

“would you mind staying over?” the sudden break of silence startles you along with the idea of stay over at the winery.

“as long as i can have a change of clothes i take the couch.”

you’re fine with the arrangement, but it seems diluc isn’t as he takes your hands in his, “please, i have more than enough room for two in my bed.” your nod is all it takes for him to drag your flustered self up the stairs behind him. you’ll find out if he understands the weight of his words when you get to his room.

kaeya:

might not even have any kids to consider him a dad, but is fatherly enough towards the kids in mond to be considered one

looks as good, if not better, as he did when he was younger but has definitely aged like fine wine

still hangs around the bar and buys drinks for the people he finds interest in

would probably liked to be called daddy in bed

a lazy arm slinks over your shoulders and there a sudden weight accompanying it. “hey darling, fancy seeing you here,” kaeya drawls out. if it were anyone else you would have pushed the older man away but it’s the calvary captain, mondstadt’s middle-aged heartthrob.

one drink leads to two and before you know it you’ve landed yourself within his grasps. he flirts with you easily, every compliment and innuendo are cliche and have probably been used on more than just you, but it makes you laugh.

you can’t seem to help but fall victim to his charms as he ensnares you easily. he leads you out of the tavern, you willingly following as he chides a goodbye to the barkeep. “to yours or mine?” he asks in a sultry tone, the look in his eyes even darker than before paired with a vicious smirk.

thoma:

the nice dad everyone secretly has a crush on

but like he’s not just nice, he’s also fairly good looking for being an older dude

would stay-at-home with his kiddos but he has to work as a single dad

would coach a club sport for them too, just very supportive in his kid’s endeavors

is semi-aware of the way people look at him, at least you think

thoma pokes his head around the corner to find you sitting on the floor with his kids seated near you, a sight that makes his heart happy. “i’m leaving now! bye kids, bye (y/n)!”

you usher them towards their dad with a ‘say bye to daddy’ and he can’t help but feel his gut twist in a way it shouldn’t.

after his kids are done hanging off of him he looks over to you, “call if you need anything and i mean anything.” he shoots a wink your way before disappearing behind the corner. you know he’s left when you hear the thud of the door as it closes.

did he really mean anything?

childe:

somewhat similar to kaeya in that he doesn’t actually have kids himself but is a typically fatherly figure

also would be a sugar daddy

but doesn’t look for a traditional sugar baby, but rather one that keeps him on his toes and would spar with him

is still very much in shape despite his age (and excessive aging due to his delusion)

likes to pretend he’s still in his early 20s when he’s clearly not, taking on the same mannerisms as he did then

but it would end up as a relationship-esque thing since he doesn’t want to get attached but it’s an exclusive thing between you two (and he’s certainly already attached)

“babe, i want to spar,” childe calls out and his voice echos throughout the house. “i wanna try out the new gear i got you.”

his silent footsteps lead him right behind you. with his hands on your waist, he tucks his chin into the juncture between your neck and shoulder. he can feel the vibration as you talk, saying something like, ‘let me go, so i can change’

a boyish smile overtakes his face as he mumbles into your neck, “just change here, it’s nothing i haven’t seen.” childe can feel the heat that creeps up you neck as he starts to pepper kisses along your neck, occasionally stopping to suck for only a moment before moving on.

he can hear the whimpers you make despite your protests. “i think i’d like to spar in the bedroom this time, dear,” he whispers in your ear before lightly biting your earlobe. he makes his way towards the room, knowing you’re right behind him.

honorable mention to zhongli but he’s a ggggilf with possible more g’s since he’s like 7000 y/o

[yuu-says]

On the topic of

Yahooo! Its been a while :DD I kinda fell off the writing wagon so that explains why I haven’t been around- don’t know when and if I’ll be back for good but for now :DD I come bearing a long ass headcanon brainrot post! Enjoy!!

Also,,, //waves vaguely at Kaeya’s part// idek what happened there i blacked out and it was done so uhhhhh enjoy??

On the topic of :

[ Touch ] ft. Zhongli, Xiao, Kaeya

Song(s) listened to while writing : Tokyo (instrumental) by RM, ECHO cover by Mafumafu ft. Nqrse

Zhongli

* I firmly believe this man is touch starved you cannot convince me oTHERWISE

* He fully leans into this trait of his, not shying away from physical affection even when the two of you are still friends

* Whenever you’re with him, you’ll find his hand gently circling your wrist - guiding you forward to a place that he wants to show you. A hand on your elbow as he gently pulls you up from  a rocky cliffside climb. A hand on the back of your waist, careful not to lose you in the crowds of Liyue.

* Zhongli is and has always been gentle with his touches - a trait that collided with his archon title but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

* His favourite way of greeting you is torn between pressing his lips on the back of your hand or kissing strands of your hair as he smiles up at you

* The love this man holds in his heart is simply too much for him to bear alone so every chance he gets, he expresses his affection through physical touches - even before the two of you were an item

* It gets worse (?) once you become his partner though

* He’s clingy when the two of you are in the confines of your own home - preferring to have you in his lap as he presses his lips against your skin

* its nothing sexual really- he just likes the feel of your warmth against his. So much so that he sometimes just speaks against your skin, hoping the words are audible enough so that he wouldn’t have to part from your warmth

* He likes having you in his lap - its easiest for him to bury his face in your neck and circle his arms around your waist, posture relaxing as you run your hand through his scalp.

* he wraps around you so much that when he has to go a certain period of time without your touch or your presence around, he starts instinctively reaching into the spaces where you would be; looking around the crowds to see where you had gone, waiting for you to wrap your arms around him whenever he came home early from work, expecting you to be in bed when he came out of the shower-

* Needless to say, you’re not gonna be leaving his embrace for a while after :’) just until he gets his fix :’)

 Xiao

* Xiao, like Zhongli, is also touch-starved but, unlike the old archon, he does not lean into it. Or rather, he thinks he hates being touched but he subconsciously does lean into it and if your eyes are sharp enough, you can pick up on his little habits.

* For the longest time, Xiao wont want to bother with things like affection or physical touches. He prefers to keep his hands to himself and prefers you do the same.

* It isn’t until one day, when you forcefully grabbed his hand to give him the little merchandise you picked up on your travels that reminded you of him, did he got thrown for a loop

* the feel of your warmth seeping through the fabric of his gloves has him????

* But alas, the feeling was fleeting and Xiao didn’t get the chance to process his feelings right up until you fell asleep against his shoulder

* Xiao stares at your sleeping form, hand subconsciously moving to brush the hair out of your face - the back of his hand slowly gliding across your cheek and, again, the familiar warmth of you seeping into his skin

* and then he freezes.

* Realizing that he, perhaps, likes the feeling of having you close a little too much.

* He’s so caught up in his own turmoil that he doesn’t notice you waking - you opening your eyes to the sight of him staring directly at you, hand on your cheek and head leaned close.

* He tenses when you call his name, pupils dilating as he stares into your eyes. A beat. Two beats. He mumbles a quiet apology but his movements is sluggish - almost reluctant to part from your warmth as he sits back and clears his throat.

* Things change slightly after. He becomes more open to physical touches - never initiating, but always lingering. Slow parting movements, eyes staring a little too long, very very subtle hints of acceptance.

* It’ll take a while for you to pick up on the change but please shower this man in affection when you do - even if he denies that he wants such a thing :’)

 Kaeya 

* The definition of the “At first I was like mMmHhmM physical affection as a joke but bro….I don’t think its a joke anymore,,,,,” meme

* Unlike the two, Kaeya is indecisive on where he stands. Its hard to grasp what he really wants unless he’s the one initiating it and even then you still have to decipher what it is he wants

* Playful, fleeting touches - touches that are meant to draw attention and to invoke a flutter in your chest is Kaeya’s game. He knows very well how to use his charms and will use it when necessary - so it isn’t a surprise that he would do this with you at the beginning of your acquaintanceship.

* “its to get you to warm up to me” he says, cheeky smile on his handsome face and your heart just jumps to outer space rip you

* He’s super casual with how he touches you - respectful, yes, but still very casual. And if you squint, very suggestive.

* a brush of a hand against your thigh, fingertips dancing across your skin as he moves your hair away, pulling your closer to his person by the waist - every touch of his is calculated so that he can make you the most flustered he can while feigning innocence

* it isn’t until he realizes his feelings for you does he put on the clown wig and reels his touches back

* Suddenly he’s aware of every brush of your skin against his; losing his composure and his sanity everytime you accidentally brush against him

* He doesn’t realize this, but sometimes his gaze lingers on your hand - its his most favourite part afterall. He wonders how close he could stand beside you while the two of you walked - just close enough so your hand would brush against his. Close enough so he could grab them and intertwi-

* “Kaeya?” he blinks. Oh. O h. He was already standing at your front door. When did that happen?

* “You okay? You’ve been dozing out the whole time,” you reach out to touch his cheek, wondering where his mind went to. His eye - eyes that were hazy with thoughts of you - suddenly cleared and Kaeya felt his muscles tensing at your touch

* He inhales shakily, staggering backwards as a he presses a hand to his lips - he’s losing his composure he’s losing his composure he’s losing his composURE

* Gone is the charismatic cavalry captain - the person who stands before you is none other than Kaeya - sweet genuine Kaeya whose heart swells with affection for you. So much so that he couldn’t stand it

* He leaves, a stuttered ‘good night’ falling from his lips as he basically ran away from the scene; he disappears for a bit after too and when he returns, he disregards your yells of concern and just-

* falls

* falls into your arm and into you embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck and holding you impossibly close to his own person. A mumbled confession, a sheltered apology, a gentle press of his lips-

* Kaeya finds himself seeking your touch afterwards - flickers of hesitancy colouring his actions at times, but easily mend-able once you reach out for his hand