#“two summers from now we'll have been talking / but not all that often / we're cool now”

[dizzzyondreams]

can't believe gracie abrams wrote "i love you, im sorry" about john and paul

[channelrat]

thinking about Joel and Ellie again don't call

[hcsiqs]

| i love you, im sorry

• pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader

• summary: inspired by gracie abram’s i love you im sorry

• warnings: angst ?? mean!paige kinda…

I like to slam doors closed

Trust me, I know it's always about me

I love you, I'm sorry

“Paige, please,” you begged as tears fell from your eyes and you tried to get the blonde girl to look at you, but she refused. “Don’t just push me away!”

“Go y/n! I don’t need you anymore, ok?” she replied, hurt evident in her voice. She jerked her arm away from you.

She had just torn her ACL and wanted nothing to do with anyone, especially you. It seemed like everything you had been doing for the past few weeks set her off. She hated the way you tried to help her and the fact that it seemed you pitted her, even though you weren’t trying to. You just wanted to help her, that’s all you ever want to do.

“I’m just trying to be there for you,” your voice dropped into a softer voice as mascara stained your cheeks.

“Well I don’t need you to be here for me or whatever the fuck,” she ran her hands down her face.

“I wanna help because I love you P,” you tried reminding her that all of this came from your love for her, but she didn’t wanna hear it.

“I don’t love you anymore,” her voice broke as she her piercing blue eyes made contact with your own and you could see that she meant every word.

You bit your lip trying to hold back your sniffles as your lips curved into a frown without you even trying. Your arms crossed over your body as you let out a hushed, “Ok,” before packing all your things from her room into a bag and leaving without saying another word. That was the last time you talked to Paige junior year.

Two summers from now

We'll have been talking, but not all

that often, we're cool now

Paige had decided to stay an extra year at UConn due to her injury that she suffered from a few years prior. And you just so happened to also be staying at UConn to get your graduates degree.

Obviously going to the same school you two had bumped into each other and exchanged a few words, but nothing much, both always seeming to be in a rush to avoid the awkwardness.

You had decided on taking a few summer classes and as you were walking with your head down you found yourself run into a taller figure. When you stepped back you immediately recognized who it was.

“Paige,” you said with a tight lipped smile.

“Y/N,” she replied with the same smile before shooing her teammates off. “How’ve you been?” she asked awkwardly pushing some of her hair behind her ear.

“Good,” you nodded, “Staying busy, you?”

“Yeah, yeah, good,” she replied nodding her head while shoving her hands into her pockets. “You—uh—you look good,” her eyes scanned you up and down, something you had gotten used to when you were together.

“Thanks. You too,” you were trying to keep the interaction short and sweet, not wanting to get into anything. “I gotta go, but see you around?”

“For sure,” she nodded before you walked off and tried erasing the entire interaction from your brain.

It wasn’t like you had talked at all in the past two years. You had your civil interactions here and there but never had them for too long. And you wanted to keep it that way. You wanted it to just stay cool between the two of you. Not wanting to bring up y’all’s past.

You were the best but you were the worst

As sick as it sounds, I loved you first

You had just finished your fall semester finals, so you and your friends decided to celebrate and get rid of all the stress by going to Ted’s and getting drunk.

It just so happened to be the same night that the UConn women’s basketball team had won a hard game against one of the best schools, and they had all decided to out to celebrate.

And that’s how you found yourself staring down a certain blonde at the bar who was obviously flirting with another girl. You kept telling yourself that it shouldn’t bother you because you had broken up almost two years ago now, but you could shake the “I loved her first” from your brain as you watched the two.

So, you took another shot to try and distract yourself. The burning sensation trickled down your throat before walking past Paige, ‘accidentally’ hitting her arm.

And once you found yourself in the comfortable muffled silence of the bathroom the door swung open to reveal the tall blonde basketball player. “What’s your problem? You’ve been staring at me all fuckin night long.”

“Have not,” you slurred, rolling your eyes and turning away from her to look in the mirror. Your lipstick was smudged from all the drinks you had taken and your mascara was messy under your eyes from continually rubbing them.

Paige moved closer to you, but not too close, almost scared that if she did you would run away and she would lose her chance. “Yeah. You have.”

“No,” you shook your head, meeting her gaze through the mirror.

“Dude, just fucking talk to me!”

“No! You don’t get to act like what happened is my fucking fault,” you raised your voice turning to the side to actually look at her up close. “You pushed me away, not the other way around.”

“I know and I regret it everyday. But every time I try to talk to you, you rush off!” Paige started moving her hands to represent her frustration with the situation.

“Why would I wanna talk to someone who is just going around flirting with random girls,” you snapped back before even realizing what you were saying. But as soon as the words left your mouth you immediately slammed your lips shut, afraid of what might come from them if you didn’t.

“So that’s what this is about?”

“No! Yes? I don’t know, okay?” your hands found their way into your hair, brushing it back with your fingers.

A moment of silence fell between the both of you. Neither really knowing what to say in the moment.

“Forget what I said,” you shook your head, wanting to disappear from the entire moment.

“I miss you,” she confessed as you tried pushing past her to get out of the small room.

You felt as if your heart was gonna beat out of your chest at those words. The words you had been wanting to hear since your fight two years ago. The words you had fought to hear that same night but never did.

“I miss you too, P,” your drunken self admitted. Your glossy eyes meeting hers. It seemed like your heart had stopped in that moment and nothing existed but the two of you.

I love you, I'm sorry

allie’s corner

this is lowkey poop im sorry

[m0dernidi0ts]

I Love You, I'm Sorry

Spencer Reid x Ex-BAU!Reader -- ANGST HEAVY Hi!!! This is my first fic on this page, so please be nice! I kept the reader gender neutral! This is based off I Love You, I'm Sorry by Gracie Abrams.

“Two Augusts ago

I told the truth, oh, but you didn't like it, you went home

You're in your Benz, I'm by the gate

Now you go alone

Charm all the people you train for, you mean well but aim low

And I'll make it known like I'm getting paid” The bustling sounds of New York City filled your ears as you stood outside the FBI headquarters, the Cigarette you had pressed firmly in between your fingers treated you like an old friend. You hadn’t expected to see your old team mates for awhile— it was painful enough leaving them behind. When you joined the BAU, it was as if everything you had fought for had, all the pain you endure, melted away. That insatiable hunger that had kept you going had been fed; Yet, it came back like a dog to a bone when  you got to know Dr. Spencer Reid. Just like you, he had be in his early 20s when he joined the BAU. A prodigy that saw right through the mask you dawned everyday. Spencer and you became more than colleagues, you became friends. It was your fault you read into it. You should have known better, you did know better. That’s why you left everything you had worked so hard for, you left it all for him- Transferred to the Terrorism Unit in New York.  "Cause that's just the way life goes,

I like to slam doors closed

Trust me, I know it's always about me

I love you, I'm sorry” Unfortunately the universe loved to remind you that no matter how far you run, your problems will find you. You took a drag, letting the smoke linger in your mouth for a moment, poised and still, just long enough to feel the anticipation build before you brought it to your lips, drawing in a slow, thoughtful breath. The first inhale was always an introduction — soft and tentative, an invitation into the steady warmth that bloomed in your chest, spreading in tendrils of sharpness that sank deeper with each passing second.z

You exhaled, watching the thin stream of smoke curl upward, twisting like an ephemeral thought that disappeared just as you tried to hold onto it. The scent wrapped around you, a smell like half-forgotten memories and late nights that stretched out until the edges blurred. There was something almost hypnotic about it, the ritual of it all: the inhale, the slow release, the way the smoke seemed to absorb whatever was knotted up inside of you, lifting it away with an elegance nothing else could touch. You knew you’d toss the cigarette soon, drop it to the ground and grind it under your heel, watching the last ember die with a soft hiss against the concrete. But for now, you let it burn in your hand, the smoke lingering around you like a dark, comforting ghost, a reminder that sometimes, all you needed was a small, quiet fire to keep you company. “Two summers from now

We'll have been talking, but not all that often, we're cool now

I'll be on a boat, you're on a plane going somewhere, same

And I'll have a drink

Wistfully lean out my window and watch the sun set on the lake

I might not feel real, but it's okay”

Up in your office, you hide from the world. You knew if was an overdrawn profile, the smallest men tower over the city to feel something. No matter how overdrawn it was, it painted you perfectly. When the first attack happened, your SSA told he’d have to call in the BAU – It’s sad that happy reunion she thought this was wouldn’t happen. You had never wish the evil in this world way harder than we your colleague had stepped into your office. You couldn’t do this, there wouldn’t be enough time in the world for you to be ready to see him again.

“Agent [Last Name],” your colleague murmured, breaking through your spiraling thoughts. “the BAU has arrived.”

The words struck you like a lightning bolt, sending a rush of adrenaline through your veins. You held your breath, caught between panic and anticipation. The tightness in your chest expanded, threatening to overwhelm you. You had left the BAU not out of a lack of dedication, but to escape the gravitational pull of your own heart. You loved Spencer, and that love had grown like a shadow over everything else, darker and more complex than the cases you worked. You took a deep breath. As you steeled yourself, you caught a glimpse of movement outside your door — the familiar, lanky figure you had longed to forget but could never fully erase. Spencer Reid stepped into the office with an air of confidence that was both endearing and devastating. He carried the weight of the world with him, a gravity that had always drawn you in. "Cause that's just the way life goes,

I push my luck, it shows

Thankful you don't send someone to kill me

I love you, I’m sorry”

The case went like any other BAU case you had worked. It made your bones ache, you had been trying to chase that high since you transferred. You knew the Terrorism division saw it in your eyes, that insatiable hunger that filled you – kept you coming back time and time again. But it was different now. The cases felt heavier, laden with a weight that pressed down on your soul. Every detail etched into your mind, the kind of grim knowledge that made your bones ache as you pursued the unrelenting darkness that had gripped the city. This was what you craved, the thrill of the chase, the unraveling of a mind that sought chaos. You had been trying to chase that high since you transferred to the Terrorism Division, but the hunger never dulled.

With each passing hour, the BAU and the Terrorism Division worked in tandem, two forces merging like storm clouds gathering on the horizon. You felt the energy in the air, crackling with anticipation as the investigation deepened. The BAU’s profilers brought their keen insight, peeling back layers of the unsub's psyche, while the Terrorism Division mobilized resources, a well-oiled machine ready to strike when the moment was right. Finally, the breakthrough came, like a flash of lightning illuminating the darkness. The confrontation was chaotic, it only caused that ache in you to grow – cavernous . You felt the adrenaline surge as you cornered the unsub, the very embodiment of terror that had taunted your city. In that moment, everything fell into place, your instincts honed by years of experience guiding you like an unseen hand. The darkness that had loomed over New York began to receded back into a scared man with an insatiable hunger to similar to yours.

“You were the best but you were the worst

As sick as it sounds, 

I loved you first 

I was a dick, it is what it is 

A habit to kick, the age-old curse 

I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad

 I stare at the crash, it actually works 

Making amends, this shit never ends 

I'm wrong again, wrong again”

With the case close – and some sort of normalcy being restored to New York, you thought it would be over. Stupid of you to assume you’d always have luck on your side, stupid of you to assume you could always run and never get caught. He echoed in your mind like a haunting melody, the bittersweet cadence of truth wrapping around you as you stood in your office – trying to hide your vulnerability. You had never been one to shy from your past, but admitting the complexity of your feelings for Spencer Reid was an entirely different battle “Agent [Last Name],” Spencer’s voice range in your head. “We need to talk.”

You could see it in his eyes — the need for clarity, the yearning for understanding. The connection you had felt was still there, but it had shifted into something more profound, more complicated. As the city began to awaken around you, you felt the walls you had built around your heart tremble, the desire to share everything threatening to spill out. “I know you left the BAU for a reason,” he continued, his tone earnest and probing, each word like a key turning in a lock. “I need to understand why. You can’t just walk away from that life without something driving you.”

The gravity of his words sank deep, resonating within you like the haunting echo of a bell tolling in a vast emptiness. He was right, You don’t just walk away from the BAU. Everyone in the BAU knows that what they do, it fuels them – it feeds their hunger. But you didn’t walk away, you ran. You ran to keep your truth hiddens miles away, you ran to keep your dignity as an agent. “Spencer,” you began, but the words caught in your throat, heavy with the weight of everything unspoken. “I didn’t want to complicate things. I didn’t want to drag you into my mess.”

Spencer’s proximity was intoxicating, It gave you a rush no cigarette ever could. You stared back at your reason from running, his eyes pouring into you with that insatiable hunger; However, he was hungry for knowledge, not your mess – not you. The space that had once felt so insurmountable began to shrink, the walls you had built around your heart trembling under the intensity of his gaze. “But I was already in it, wasn’t I?” he pressed, his voice low and earnest, a soft plea amidst the course of your emotions. “You thought I wouldn’t care? That I wouldn’t want to be there for you?”

You wanted laugh. Whatever reason he had given you for leaving was nothing compared to the real weight of the truth between them. That truth that surged like a tidal wave, threatening to pull you under. You felt the heat of his gaze, the concern etched on his features igniting a fire within you, one that had long been buried beneath layers of self-preservation. “Reid, it’s better this way.” The admission hung in the air, raw and trembling, a revelation that stripped you bare. “I’m where I really wanted to be, not just chasing the monster that fed off our fear.” You lied, like you always do.

“The way life goes

Joyriding down our road

Lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me

(I'm wrong again, wrong again)

I love you, I'm sorry” You wanted to laugh, a hollow sound that echoed in the depths of your chest. Whatever reason Spencer had given you for leaving the BAU was nothing compared to the real weight of the truth that loomed between you, a truth that surged like a tidal wave, threatening to pull you under. Each heartbeat reverberated with the fear of exposure, the vulnerability that came with revealing the emotions you had buried deep. You felt the heat of his gaze, the concern etched on his features igniting a fire within you—one that had long been smothered beneath layers of self-preservation and denial.

“Reid, it’s better this way,” you managed to say, your voice quivering as it fought against the storm brewing inside you. The admission hung in the air, raw and trembling, a revelation that stripped you bare of all pretenses. “I’m where I really wanted to be, not just chasing the monster that fed off our fear.” You lied, the words tasting bitter on your tongue, like poison that burned as it slid down your throat. 

In that moment, you saw the flicker of disbelief in his eyes, the way his brow furrowed as he processed your words. You could see the truth clawing at him, demanding to be acknowledged, yet you were caught in a web of your own making, tangled in a narrative that felt so much easier than facing the chaos of your heart. You wanted to scream, to tell him how much you had wanted to stay, how much the BAU had meant to you, and how much he meant to you, but the walls you had built felt insurmountable. 

“Is it really better?” he asked, his voice low and steady, cutting through the fog of your self-deceit. “Or are you just trying to convince yourself of that?” 

The intensity of his gaze pierced through your defenses, and you felt a pang of guilt twist in your stomach. “I’m safe here,” you replied, trying to mask the trembling uncertainty in your voice. “I don’t have to be part of the chaos anymore. I’m helping people in a different way.” Each word felt like a thin layer of armor, shielding you from the reality that clung to you like a shadow, a constant reminder of what you had given up.But even as you spoke, doubt gnawed at the edges of your resolve. You could see the truth reflected in his eyes, the way they searched yours for honesty, for clarity. You were lying to him and to yourself, hiding behind a façade of bravado while the real monster lurked in the shadows of your heart—your unyielding love for him. 

“Spencer, Whatever reason you thought I left for…It not what you think.”

With that admission, the dam you had built around your heart threatened to burst, emotions flooding to the surface. And as you stepped back, you saw the light in his eyes dim, the realization dawning that you were once again retreating into the safety of denial. You were leaving him behind, and deep down, you both knew this wasn’t just a choice about your careers; it was about the love that had once burned so brightly between you, a flame that had now been snuffed out by fear. 

As you turned away, the ache of unfulfilled potential tugged at your heart, the weight of your decision pressing down like an anchor, dragging you back into the depths of despair. You had chased that high, the thrill of the case, the adrenaline of the hunt, but now you were left with the hollow echo of what could have been. 

With each step you took away from him, you felt the freedom you had sought slip through your fingers, leaving behind only the shadows of a love unclaimed. You were born insatiable, nothing you could have would fill that hunger. The city around only stirred you. As you stood on the edge of broadway and worth, teetering between love and loss, you light a cig and took a long drag.

“I love you, I’m sorry”

[whaliensdream]

I feel like "I Love You, I'm Sorry" by Gracie Abrams is such a KitTy coded song 😭

Two Augusts ago

I told the truth, oh, but you didn't like it, you went home

— Ty telling Kit that he has to ressurect Livvy and Kit leaving for his new home.

Two summers from now

We'll have been talking, but not all that often, we're cool now

— KitTy at the start of TLKOF maybe? When Kit's done staying mad at Ty and they're trying to be cool with each other.

You were the best but you were the worst

As sick as it sounds, I loved you first

I was a dick, it is what it is

A habit to kick, the age-old curse

— Idek if it's Kit to Ty or Ty to Kit after everything that happened at the end of QOAAD?? Both of them were really special to each other and both of them really hurt one another, even if unintentionally... And as sick as it sounds (especially to Kit), maybe Ty actually fell in love with Kit first!!

I love you, I'm sorry

— Both of them to each other because I feel like once they finally have an honest conversation, they're gonna feel really sorry for not communicating properly 😭

Art by @cassandrajean

[sunsetsentiments]

okay so i love you i'm sorry by gracie abrams is totally about jason and piper from piper's pov. HERE'S WHY,, it's a long one lol

"I told the truth, oh, but you didn't like it, you went home." // "That's just the way life goes, I like to slam doors closed. Trust me, I know it's always about me."

piper is the one who broke up with jason,, and from the burning maze, we know she saw it as an inevitable event. internally, she has been struggling with figuring out who she is outside the perils of demigod life,, and if she's living the life she wants or the one hera/aphrodite wanted for her. basically, she's dealing with the confusion and exhaustion as a result of all the life-changing events of hoo.

while i have comments about the way rick wrote and explained this break-up (again,, topic for another day),, it's clear that piper needed time away from everything to deal with her turmoil, and it's this that drives her to end things with jason. she needed to search for clarity, and she couldn't with him around when his presence in her life only added to her confusion. so she slammed the door closed and thought that it was for the best, and i can imagine jason responding as maturely as he could while still showing signs of heartbreak. all piper could do was let it happen.

"Thankful you don't send someone to kill me."

piper being absolutely relieved and guilty about the way jason responded to her decision 😭

"Two summers from now, we'll have been talking, but not all that often, we're cool now." // "Wistfully lean out my window and watch the sun set on the lake. I might not feel real, but it's okay."

these lyrics capture the kind of relationship piper and jason had - because romantic drama aside,, piper considers him to be her best friend ("more than annabeth"), and even when they were on shaky terms,, they were still able to communicate and understand each other well as noted by apollo. so yeah,, they'd definitely continue being friends even after a break-up. and it's nice and weird and comforting all at once. because the old piper wouldn't have expected things to happen this way,, but the present piper is glad that they can still be in each other's lives.

if only they had enough time to work things out though. because here comes the tragic part 😭

"You were the best but you were the worst, as sick as it sounds, I loved you first. I was a dick, it is what it is, a habit to kick, the age-old curse."

no bc in my head,, this whole bridge is piper's thought process as she deals with losing jason post-burning maze.

he was the best - literally, not only one of the most powerful and reliable demigods, but also the most supportive boyfriend she could ask for - but also the worst,, bc sometimes she felt like she didn't know him,, sometimes he was distant and too inside his own head,, sometimes she wasn't sure if they were meant to be together or not,, and that uncertainty and doubt nagged at her, and it's exactly why she breaks up with him later. but was it really the right decision, or did she let her insecurities control her? and if the latter was true,, then she broke both of their hearts for nothing,, which ultimately led to their strained relationship, and they would neve have full closure bc of what caligula did.

in piper's head,, she might start to think that she made a mess that didn't have to happen,, and the crazy part is she let it happen even though she was the one who loved him and had feelings for him first,, whether they started as an illusion or not.

so how could she possibly let all this happen? we know piper has struggled with a low self esteem since before, and she might look back to past actions that were rash in retrospect,, like stealing cars to get her father's attention. so piper might mistakenly spiral into thinking that everything is her fault bc she was lacking as a person,, and that bc she didn't beat her age-old habits, they haunted her like a curse.

"I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad, I stare at the crash, it actually works. Making amends, this shit never ends, I'm wrong again, wrong again."

piper tried to accept the break-up and losing jason as best as she could. she tried to play down the emotional weight of the break-up in the burning maze bc she felt as though she thought it through,, and at the end of toa, she's obviously trying to move on. these methods seem to work for her on the outside,, but that doesn't mean the grief and confusion has gone away.

the pain and the memories might keep coming back,, and piper might have to grapple with the possibility that she was wrong this whole time, again leading her to believe it was all her fault. in short,, she's confused and devasted and has no idea what the truth is anymore (which is why a book fleshing out her and leo's grief would be SO good).

"I wanna speak in code, hope that I don't, won't make it about me." // "I love you, I'm sorry."

the last chorus of the song beautifully reflects piper's confusion and longing, wishing that maybe she did things a little differently, wishing that maybe she and jason had a different ending.

but the thing is, in spite of all that happened and the confusion she's facing now,, the one thing that never changed was that she loved him, and it's both because of this and in spite of this that she did what she had done, and why she's feeling all these mixed emotions now.

"i love you, i'm sorry" is so powerful coming from piper considering the first time she told him 'i love you' in mark of athena,, and also bc of the whole i'm sorry part. she's sorry about breaking his heart. sorry if she ever made him doubt himself, if he was good enough, if it was his fault. sorry about never properly reconciling. sorry about not being enough to save him. sorry about being unable to say goodbye. sorry about never seeing him one last time.

[dacuslucy]

two SUMMERS from NOW we'll have been TALKING but NOT all that OFTEN we're COOL now i'll be on a BOAT you're on a PLANE going somewhere SAME and i'll have a DRINK wistfully LEAN out my WINDOW and WATCH the sun SET on the LAKE i might not feel REAL but it's OKAY

[hygtgtv]

CUZ THATS JUST THE WAY! LIFE! GOES! I LIKE TO SLAM! DOORS! CLOSED! TRUST ME I KNOW! ITS! ALWAYS! ABOUT ME! I LOVE YOU IM SORRY TWO SUMMERS FROM NOW WE'LL HAVE BEEN TALKING BUT NOT ALL THAT OFTEN WE'RE COOL NOW I'LL BE ON A BOAT YOU'RE ON A PLANE GOING SOMEWHERE SAME AND I'LL HAVE A DRINK WISTFULLY LEAN OUT MY WINDOW AND WATCH THE SUN SET ON A LAKE I MIGHT NOT FEEL REAL BUT IT'S OK!

[permanently-stressed]

OKAY OKAY OKAY but imagine it all from Brant's perspective.

"Two Augusts ago

I told the truth, oh, but you didn't like it, you went home"

Jolie finds out that Brant is with the Neverseen. He tries to convince her that they're the ones who are right, not the Black Swan. Jolie refuses to join and leaves.

"You're in your Benz, I'm by the gate

Now you go alone

Charm all the people you train for, you mean well but aim low

And I'll make it known like I'm getting paid"

Honestly, this part is a little hard, but I like to interpret it as Brant's denial. He gets angry at Jolie for not joining, for not trusting him. In his anger, he kills her. So, to cope, he tries to convince himself that she wasn't all that. That she was wrong about everything. She died because of her own foolishness. It wasn't his fault...

"That's just the way life goes

I like to slam doors closed

Trust me, I know it's always about me

I love you, I'm sorry"

He's still in denial, but deep inside, he knows it was all him. He's the reason Jolie is dead. And even though she's gone now, even though they were enemies, he still loves her.

"Two summers from now

We'll have been talking, but not all that often, we're cool now

I'll be on a boat, you're on a plane going somewhere, same

And I'll have a drink

Wistfully lean out my window and watch the sun set on the lake

I might not feel real, but it's okay"

Brant sanity has cracked under the guilt and he now lives alone. He imagines that Jolie is still alive and what life would be like if she was. What it would be like if she'd never found out he was with the Neverseen. He imagines it as if it's reality and it's the only thing keeping him from fully breaking.

"'Cause that just the way life goes

I push my luck, it shows

Thankful you don't send someone to kill me

I love you, I'm sorry"

Brant knows he's pushing his luck with Grady and Edaline taking care of him. He's thankful they don't know he's the one who killed their daughter, because if they did, he knows they'd kill him.

"You were the best but you were the worst

As sick as it sounds, I loved you first"

As sick as it sounds, he loved the Neverseen first. He was committed. He fully believed in the cause, but it was the best and worst at the same time. Because of the Neverseen, he lost Jolie.

"I was a dick, it is what it is

a habit to the kick, the age-old curse

I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad

I stare at the crash, it actually works"

Now Brant has one foot in denial and the other in acceptance. He tries to ignore it. When that doesn't work, he laughs about it. Tries to seem heartless, like Jolie's death didn't affect him at all.

"Making amends, this never ends

I'm wrong again, wrong again"

But it doesn't work. He loved her. Her death did affect him. The guilt never lets go, never ends.

"The way life goes

Joyriding down our road

Lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me

I love you, I'm sorry"

Brant's sanity is crumbling. He's grown reckless from the guilt, the devastation of Jolie's death. She haunts him. Nothing matters anymore.

"The way life goes

I wanna speak in code

Hope that I don't, won't make it about me

I love you, I'm sorry"

But this still isn't about him. Brant might've killed Jolie in the fire, but you know what? It wasn't his fault.

It was the council. Society.

If it wasn't for them, pyrokinesis wouldn't have been banned. Brant and Jolie wouldn't have been a bad match. So many other things wouldn't have happened, and the Neverseen wouldn't even exist. He loves Jolie and he knows that she doesn't agree with the Neverseen and their methods, but this isn't about him. It's about them. I love you, but there's so much hurt. I love you, but it's not my fault. I love you, but I am going to end this. I love you, I'm sorry.

I'LL NEVER LISTEN TO THIS SONG THE SAME, THANKS!

I remember what Sophie said, once: "Everyone loved Jolie, even the person who killed her." And it's such a haunting quote.

If you take into consideration what Brant stood for, he should've hated her. Jolie represented the golden ideals of a society he hated.

But he still loved her.

That didn't stop the flames. She was dead, it was his fault, but he loved her.

AHHHH I CAN'T THE TRAGEDY OF IT ALL IS JUST SO–

[eponymous-rose]

I'm gonna do this again because it turned out last week kinda went off the rails without it and the little bit of accountability is super super helpful.

Monday!

It's a busy week! It's also my birthday week! Let's do this!

E-mail with coffee: sent a prospective grad student a congratulations on her admission to our program. I'm really hoping to hire her, but I do need to consider whether I might want to admit two students for this position and just get the extra funding for the second one elsewhere if both decide to come. Hmm. Confirmed coffee on Friday with the wonderful admin I've been wanting to befriend for a while - finally we'll interact outside of paperwork! Sadly Wednesday's seminar speaker is ill and won't be able to present - I'm leading the seminar so that does add up to a little less work for me, which is the silver lining there. One of my student groups is struggling to grab data from the weather station they built on the roof because the dang software doesn't work on Macs - managed to coordinate getting them a loaner PC laptop from the department, whew. Completed two letters of reference for an undergrad student applying to internships. Somehow managed to double-book a meeting and gave one a heads up to cancel. Showed my availability for scheduling a PhD defense for a student whose committee I'm on. One of the speakers for my seminar series sent a somewhat passive-aggressive e-mail to the department chair to let him know his info's not up on the website yet. Department chair forwarded it to me, I replied with, essentially "hold your dang horses, your talk isn't until mid-March". He replied back with a sheepish apology. All good.

Formulated my list of essential stuff for this week:

finish Wednesday's (and next week's?) lecture(s?)

prepare next week's homework & key

work on grant proposal

work on commissioned review article

So excited that we're finally to the part of the class that I have taught before in past years! Great lecture today about statistical data analysis. Hurt everyone's brains with the Monty Hall problem. Showed a lot of XKCD comics, got some laughs. Good times. Answered some student questions on the homework assignments, looks like everyone's on track to ace this one as well. This is a really strong class and I'm very proud of them!

On to a virtual meeting with my peer mentoring group! We talk about how utterly wild it is that different departments manage research funding in completely different ways. I vent a bit for the umpteenth time about having to rely 100% on grants to pay my grad students (bigger departments often have student funding provided if they TA, but we just don't have enough classes to sustain that). Easily the biggest source of stress in my life right now is running out of funding for my students: "in order to pay your graduate students, you have to receive a major grant" "cool! how likely am I to get one?" "success rates are about 1 in 15" "uhhhh" "also the applications (if you manage to find a perfect match for your research) take about 40-60 hours to plan and write and it's not work that's looked at formally as part of your tenure review so you're actively taking time away from research" "uhhhhhhh" "and you won't find out if you have been awarded the grant or not before you have to make the decision to hire a student so you just gotta gamble on it" "UHHHHHHH" "you don't get paid in the summer either unless you pull in 2-3 grants that can each cover one month max of salary so I hope you're not putting well over 50% of your take-home toward rent in one of the worst markets in the US or anything haha." It's A Lot. But it's very helpful to talk to people about it!

Realized I left my half-finished Wednesday lecture on my computer at home so I can't work on it during my break between meetings. Shoot, guess that's a tomorrow problem. At least I can work on the homework assignment! This one was an absolute nightmare last year but I think I've come up with a way to simplify it while still hitting all of the learning goals. It's complicated but hopefully very satisfying and builds on everything they've learned thus far. Even with the simplification, I'm definitely expecting some traffic in office hours next week. Opted not to include the more tedious section of the homework because I've tested that particular skill amply in the earlier assignments this quarter. Ran through it once on my own, sent myself the key, then posted the homework and the submission portal for their online module for next week, so all I'm missing now is the lectures.

E-mail break! A professor at a small university nearby wants to bring in a grad student from my group to talk to her class about tornadoes! I have someone in mind (who is both a great presenter and also could use a little confidence boost to get back on track with his research), but of course he's working remotely on the other side of the country, so it's time for a quick check to see if a remote presentation is possible. Checking in on my seminar speaker for next week - project title and abstract up on the website, phew. She's a grad student, so I should find out if her advisor can introduce her or if they want me to do so (and if so, I gotta do some digging for fun facts to share!). Got an invite to a lunch with the faculty & chair where we're going to be brainstorming our next faculty hire, so I gotta be there for that (also because free food)! Surreal to think that we might be hiring my colleague for the next 30 years. It's... kind of intimidating and I definitely want to be in the room for that discussion. Aha! A reply already: virtual talk is fine, so I put the professor and my grad student in touch.

Nice virtual meeting with my former postdoc advisor - we commiserate for a while over his recent illness, but he's feeling better now so we quickly jump back to talking research. The small grant I was awarded recently actually dovetails with some of the broader research ideas he and I had been talking about, so I'm gonna keep him in the loop on that!

Up next: a meeting with my two undergraduate research interns. They're coadvised by my colleague who is flying research aircraft on the other side of the country right now so it's just the three of us. Due to holidays and conferences, this is actually the first time in 2023 we all managed to meet! We go over some paperwork to make sure they get college credit for this research. They're spinning their wheels a little bit but I had them shoot off a couple emails while I was there to start them getting their data ASAP. We then chatted about severe weather we'd all witnessed. One of the students mentioned she's been saving the candy from my office candy bowl for whenever she forgets to bring lunch to campus and now I'm realizing I should maybe get some protein bars or something for some variety.

All good stuff. There's a seminar in 15 minutes but it's a chemistry seminar so... I may just sneak home a bit early.

Tomorrow: no meetings (maaaybe one remote meeting), so work-from home! Should be able to get the last bit of coursework done for the week so I can start on my research to-do list.

[prematureovulation]

Two Augusts ago

I told the truth, oh, but you didn't like it, you went home

You're in your Benz, I'm by the gate

Now you go alone

Charm all the people you train for, you mean well but aim low

And I'll make it known like I'm getting paid

That's just the way life goes

I like to slam doors closed

Trust me, I know it's always about me

I love you, I'm sorry

Two summers from now

We'll have been talking, but not all that often, we're cool now

I'll be on a boat, you're on a plane

Going somewhere, same

And I'll have a drink

Wistfully lean out my window and watch the sun set on the lake

I might not feel real, but it's okay, mh

'Cause that's just the way life goes

I push my luck, it shows

Thankful you don't send someone to kill me

I love you, I'm sorry

You were the best but you were the worst

As sick as it sounds, I loved you first

I was a dick, it is what it is

A habit to kick, the age-old curse

I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad

I stare at the crash, it actually works

Making amends, this shit never ends

I'm wrong again, wrong again

The way life goes

Joyriding down our road

Lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me

I love you, I'm sorry

The way life goes (you were the best but you were the worst)

(As sick as it sounds, I loved you first)

I wanna speak in code (I was a dick, it is what it is)

(A habit to kick, the age-old curse)

Hope that I don't, won't make it about me (I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad)

(Stare at the crash, it actually works)

I love you, I'm sorry

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: April 8, 2024

Lyrics:

Two Augusts ago

I told the truth, oh, but you didn't like it, you went home

You're in your Benz, I'm by the gate

Now you go alone

Charm all the people you train for, you mean well but aim low

And I'll make it known like I'm getting paid

That's just the way life goes

I like to slam doors closed

Trust me, I know it's always about me

I love you, I'm sorry

Two summers from now

We'll have been talking, but not all that often, we're cool now

I'll be on a boat, you're on a plane

Going somewhere sane

And I'll have a drink

Wistfully lean out my window and watch the sun set on the lake

It might not feel real, but it's okay, mh

'Cause that's just the way life goes

I push my luck, it shows

Thankful you don't send someone to kill me

I love you, I'm sorry

You were the best but you were the worst

As sick as it sounds, I loved you first

I was a dick, it is what it is

A habit to kick, the age-old curse

I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad

Stare at the crash, it actually works

Making amends, this shit never ends

I'm wrong again, wrong again

Songwriter: Gracie Abrams

The way life goes

Joyriding down our road

Lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me

I love you, I'm sorry

The way life goes (you were the best but you were the worst)

(As sick as it sounds, I loved you first)

I wanna speak in code (I was a dick, it is what it is)

(A habit to kick, the age-old curse)

Hope that I don't, won't make it about me (I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad)

(Stare at the crash, it actually works)

I love you, I'm sorry

SongFacts:

👉📖

Homepage:

Gracie Abrams

[sebastianshaw]

RP Meme from The Lost Boys

I told you to stay off the boardwalk.

Hey, I liked that song.

I don't see any boogeymen or nasty guys.

Wait. That's from my era!

That's the ocean air.

Smells like someone died.

Looks like he's dead. No, he's just a deep sleeper.

If he's dead, can we go back to [PLACE]?

What's wrong with this picture? There's no TV. Have you seen a TV? I haven't seen a TV.

You're the only woman I ever knew who didn't improve her situation by getting divorced.

A big legal war wasn't going to improve anybody's situation.

Ouch. My hair.

Talk about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

We've got some rules around here. Second shelf is

mine. That's where I keep my root beers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me.

There's another rule around here, and I want you to pay

close attention. Don't touch anything. Everything is exactly where I want it.

There are some bad elements around here.

You're telling me we've moved to the murder capital of the world?

If all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once we'd have one hell of a population problem.

I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.

I was so worried. Don't run off like that.

We were that age, too, once. Only they dress better.

You have a generous nature. I like that in a person.

So how may I help you this evening? We have it all.

I look that needy, huh?

You're chasing that girl, aren't you?

I'm at the mercy of your sex glands.

Don't you have something better to do than follow me around all night?

Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.

Listen buddy, if you're looking for the diet frozen-yogurt bar, it went out of business last summer.

That's a very serious book, man.

Only five in existence.

Where the hell are you from? Krypton?

Nobody drives this baby but me.

We have to let it warm up a little. Hear that sound? Just like a baby pussycat.

That's as close to town as I like to get.

It's a pretty cool place. If you're a Martian. Or a vampire.

Are you guys sniffing old newsprint or something?

You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something. You don't know shit buddy.

This is just our cover. We are dedicated to a higher

purpose. We're fighters for Truth Justice, and the American

way.

Think of it more as a survival manual.

There's our number on the back and pray you never need to call us.

I'll pray I never need to call you.

If you want your ear pierced, I'll do it.

I came this close to being called Moon Beam or Moon Child Or something like that.

I can't beat your bike.

You don't have to beat me, [NAME]. You just have to try

and keep up.

Just you! Come on! Just you!

That's what I love about this place. You ask, and then you get.

I can never sleep with the closet door open, either. Not even a crack.

Don't sneak up on people like that!

What, you don't like rice? Tell me [NAME], how could a

billion Chinese people be wrong? Come on!

You're eating maggots. How do they taste?

Sorry about that. No hard feelings, huh?

Drink some of this, [NAME]. Be one of us.

Give me those sunglasses.

You need sunglasses to talk on the phone?

Are you freebasing? Inquiring minds want to know.

Anything in here that might pass for after-shave?

Have a big date tonight, [NAME]?

Lose the earring, [NAME]. It's not you. It's definitely

not you.

All you do is give attitude lately.

Go take your bath.

What did you do to my dog, asshole?

I didn't hurt him. He bit me. This is my blood.

Why did he bite you, huh? What did you do to him?

He was protecting you.

Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of

the night, [NAME]. Just like out of a comic book.

My own brother/sister/friend/etc, a goddam shit-sucking vampire.

You wait 'til[NAME] finds out!

Just let me talk. Wait a minute! [NAME]!

You did the right thing by calling us.

Does the sunlight freak him out?

He wears sunglasses in the house.

He always had bad breath, though.

He's a vampire all right. Here's what you do.

I can't do that! He's my brother/sister/mother/friend/etc!

You better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy. Or it's

your funeral.

I think we have to have a real long talk about something.

[NAME] help! He's coming to get me!

[NAME], help me! Open up! Help me! [NAME], open the window!

So what are you, the flying nun?

We're gonna work this out. We*re gonna work this out. Trust

me, okay?

I thought I saw something on my window, but I guess I got carried away.

I would like to have a personal life too.

Can I sleep in here with you tonight?

You smell like garlic.

What's happening to me, [NAME]?

I don't know how to help you.

Aren't we friends anymore?

Then let's act like friends. Let's talk.

We could talk about anything you want to talk about.

I have more serious things on my mind than girls and school. Things I'm dealing with.

Looks like I wasn't the only one who got lucky last night.

The dog chased my mom like the Hounds of Hell from Vampires

Everywhere.

We've been aware of some very serious vampire activity in

town for a long time.

[PLACE] has become a haven for the undead.

As a matter of fact, we're almost certain that ghouls and

werewolves occupy high position at City Hall.

Kill your brother/sister/boyfriend/aunt/best friend/etc, you'll feel better!

Look, it says here that if you kill the head vampire all half-vampires will return to normal.

Does he know who the head vampire is?

You'll have to kill him. And if you don't, we will.

Vampire require a daytime protector, a guardian to watch

over them as they sleep. Fierce dogs, the Hounds of Hell,

are often employed for this purpose.

Truth, Justice, The American way triumphs.

Smells good. When do we eat?

Are we gonna have company again?

Well, you are the man of the house and I'm not coming in until you invite me.

He promises to behave if you come back.

I didn't know you were having guests.

Our batting average isn't terrific, is it? Zero for two.

You're so sweet to him.

I don't know what got in to him. He's not like that.

If you ever want to see [NAME] again, you better come with

us now.

Initiation's over, [NAME]. Time to join the club.

Don't kill me, [NAME]. I'm basically a good kid, so just

don't kill me.

Just work with me and I can help you. You'll be okay.

Is she one of them?

You shut the window and lock your door.

She's one of them! And don't tell me it doesn't make her a

bad person, [NAME]!

Yes, and it's my fault. You would've not met me, if I

hadn't liked you. I tried to warn you.

You drank someone's blood? Are you crazy?

We're not them.

Why didn't you kill me last night?

You're supposed to be my first.

What are you doing here? What do you want from me?

Don't kill anybody until we get back to you!

I got connections.

The night crawler. The bloodsucker. El Vampiro.

I don't want you going down there.

Look, this isn't a comic book, [NAME]. These guys are

brutal killers.

Who'd you rather go down in with you? Them or me?

If something happens down there, I won't have the strength

to protect you.

This time I'll protect you.

Even though you're a vampire, you're still my brother/sister/friend/etc

If you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, I'll stake

you without even thinking twice about it!

Where did you say you met these guys?

Don't you touch her. Stay away from her.

Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns.

There must be coffins here someplace.

I thought they'd be in coffins.

That's what this cave is. It's one giant coffin.

Right now they're at their most vulnerable. Easy pickings.

Remember. You just have to kill the leader.

We don't know which one he is.

I guess we'll just have to kill them all.

What's that, a little vampire humor? It wasn't funny.

Good night, bloodsucker.

We blew it, man! We lost it!

We unraveled in the face of the enemy!

They pulled a mind-scramble on us!

We don't ride with vampires.

"Burn rubber" does not mean warp speed!

Your dog knows a flesh-eater when he smells one.

The sun goes down. They'll be looking for us.

[PLACE] is crawling with vampires

They're coming to the house as soon as it gets dark!

I'm gonna see [NAME] tonight, and you're trying to ruin it for me.

I don't know what you don't want me to see.

I'm not talking about [NAME]! To hell with [NAME]!

Good. That's just the way we like it.

We've got a date tonight?

They'll be coming for all of us.

It's just old memories coming back.

Why are you so jumpy tonight?

He seemed so sincere, but it's insane.

Tell me. I promise not to laugh. Honest.

I think I should warn you all when a vampire dies, it's never a pretty sight.

Some yell and scream. Some go quietly. Some explode. Some implode. But all will try to take you with them.

Don't go out there! Stop him!

I say we terminate them right now.

You're mine. You killed [NAME]

Try the holy water, dead breath!

I nailed one of them downstairs with a bow and arrow.

We trashed the one that looked like Twisted Sister.

We totally annihilated his night stalkin' ass!

Death to all vampires!

We are awesome monster bashers!

Holy shit! The attack of Eddie Monster!

Stop! Get away from him! Just stay away from him! He's just

a little boy.

You're afraid to face me, [NAME]?

I tried to make you immortal.

You tried to make me a killer!

Stop fighting me, [NAME]. I don't want to kill you. Join us.

It is too late, my blood is in your veins.

Don't let them see me like this.

What happened to your face?

I knew it. You are the head vampire.

You're the secret [NAME] was protecting.

Don't ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy/girl/etc.

It renders you powerless.

Has everyone gone crazy? What's the matter with all of you?

It was you I was after, all along, [NAME]

It was all going to be so perfect, [NAME]

Just like one big happy family.

Great. The bloodsucking Brady Bunch.

I still want you, [NAME]. I haven't changed my mind about that.

I didn't invite you this time, [NAME]

Don't you touch my mother/father/son/dog/etc

Don't fight, [NAME]. It's so much better if you don't fight.

How much do you think we should charge them for this?

One thing about living in [PLACE] I never could

stomach--all the damn vampires.

[sohaveyoubeento-blog]

V is for Vietnamese & Vintage

Us three ladies had always played it pretty safe by way of our lunch dates. Not to say the local deli isn't absolutely kick ass - it's very tasty and very enjoyable every time we go, but in much the same way as I struggle to go to the same country more than once on my holidays (excluding India, you can never have enough India) I couldn't help but think that life's a bit too short to sit in the same eatery every time we meet for lunch, given that the whole day is ours, and within reason, travel is no issue.

The three of us decided that we would try different cuisines every week, and with the girls (Laura and Dani) living in the quieter, leafier suburbs of Otley and Burley in Wharfedale, with me (Alex) living in what I frequently describe as the bronx, 5 minutes from central Leeds but gloriously populated by some of the best food joints in the country (confirmed) they usually end up meeting at mine and then we go into town to try somewhere a bit off the beaten track. Invariably, being three mums of young children, we eat at the speed of rabid dogs and end up having a bit of time to go explore some local weird shop or two, never anything mainstream like a department store. Oh no. We like vintage shops. You know the type, they smell like damp and the inside of your nan's wardrobe, and we prance around pretending to overlook the fact that we are just in a well laid out, slightly more selective charity shop without the undertone of giving. Usually there's some blue haired student with a headscarf and a faint stench of Bobby Orange pawing through piles of shirts and jumpers that are deemed as retro, when they've actually some of them originated in C&A - we remember that place the first time round,depressingly. The whole vintage scene is a bit ironic and try hard and a bit sad at times, but the one thing that it does offer is the piece you are often looking at, generally is one of one only in the store. The same goes for charity shops, generally. We like stuff that can't be bought in bulk.

Dani owns Deluxe Blooms, and is a luxury faux florist, and very good at it too. Laura is a nail technician and spray tanning afficionado, and the owner of Maibella Nails and Tanning. I own a salon called Lexa Hair, and the three of us work together frequently. The ridiculous thing is though, that work is going really well for us, and while in the past we may have dug around in charity shops for a bargain simply to be economical, now it has begun more of a habit. And you know what they say, old habits die hard. We don't have to eat streetfood on picnic tables anymore, and we can shop anywhere we want, but at least just for me, I don't like extravagance and I'm not impressed by labels or price tags. I like pieces that are unique,with a story behind them. My two accomplices sort of get dragged in to it I think, but they seem on board with most of it. I hope.

And street food is the best food on earth, everyone knows that.

We kicked things off with a visit to a fairly new (maybe a year old I think) Vietnamese place on North Lane in Headingley named VietBaker. Inside it's very wooden looking, quite industrial and urban, stained wood everywhere and dark red leather chairs. It smells like the rice cooker that's chugging away in the corner, mixed with plenty of garlic and of course, the fresh baguettes that are stacked up in a glass cabinet above the front desk.

We opted for a sharing platter for £9, and from the menu us Yorkshire ruffians requested spring rolls (the deep fried ones, not the fresh, healthy ones obviously), prawn toast, and 'rustic chips'.

This was skin on chips with salt and pepper (well cooked and so tasty) and the prawn toast was understandably made of baguette slices. It made for a much heavier slab of prawn toast and therefore an even more unhealthy treat but man alive, was it good. The spring rolls were pork, prawn and the usual crispy vegetables inside. Not floppy or soggy, totally crispy and served with a really light and watery sweet chilli dip that's more sweet than chilli. It was all very lovely.

I've personally eaten from here a number of times and I think the Vietnamese have got it absolutely nailed when they make sandwich. Or a Ban Mih. Laura and I opted for one each, chicken for her and pork for me. Dani went for something off the new part of the menu, the fusion section, which even featured a take on beef bourgignon, Vietnamese style. She tried the Shanghai pork belly, served with rice. Her whole bowl was piled high, and we're not talking a polite, peanuts size bowl. More like a ‘free ceramic crunchy nut cereal box’ bowl, with the with tokens on the back of the pack, that you’d send off as a kid. It was huge. The second bowl was just plain rice, which worked really well as the pork alone was…. alot. It was sticky and tangy and rich and all those other wanky words that just mean amazing. I'm trying so hard to limit the wankiness. I like writing and eating, combining the two is hard work though. Bear with me. The slow cooked pork made me feel a bit gutted I went for a sandwich until I got stuck in.

Vietnam was a former French colony, and much like their neighbour Cambodia, found their local best offerings being bastardised to accomodate the 'local palate'. The nice version is that the baguette was the French's gift to the Vietnamese, although I imagine it was more a case of 'put your lovely meal in my baguette for me or you're in deep shit.'

I've never been to Vietnam but having visited Cambodge a few summers back, I remember being astounded at the gorgeous, light, dairy free Asian cuisine that had been shoved in a crusty, warm baguette. Whoever's story was true, it's the absolute bollocks.

They cut this freshly baked baguette open and spread it with patè on one side and on the other mayonnaise (already weird but hang in there) - add a ton of crispy green leaves, cucumber, pickles, coriander and fresh chilies, and add some meat into what little room is left. Enough meat to give you meat sweats. It. Is. Superb.

The pork was very finely sliced, dark and sticky again (here she goes) and you can bang on a fried egg, too, if you're an absolute wrong un. No thanks.

Laura had the chicken which was a milder flavour but none the less tasty and flavoursome. I noticed Laura pulling bits off her sandwich and delicately chewing away at them, while I picked it up and ate it like I'd been sleeping in the dark arches for the last month. I even had to be asked to wipe my face. Sorry, not sorry. No messing with a Ban Mih. Especially not this one.

The bill was a very respectable £11 a head, and they threw in a free set of spring rolls for us, which was a nice unexpected surprise. The place had a steady flow of traffic, and although wasn't packed, I've been on an evening and I think it's safe to assume that's the bulk of their trade. It was fantastic food, very reasonable and highly recommended. Great staff and great location. We'll be back!

Afterwards we drove for about 3 days to find a parking spot anywhere near Hyde Park, so we could check out the newly (ish) renovated (OK sign replaced and possibly ownership changed) Vintage something or other in Hyde Park.

I forget the name, and if I'm brutally honest I can see why. It's alright, but it used to be alot better. The last time I went in there was alot of very old apothecary style wooden drawer units, some weird taxidermy, and unusual pictures in frames that would look incredible in the lounge. This time there was quite a bit of formica, and some hideously orange stained TV units that I guess in some context would be deemed as cool again.

The music collection seemed to be where the most effort had been made. The clothing was actually quite 'quirky' in the sense that you wouldn't actually wear alot of it, there was a whole department that seemed to have been handed over by the owner of the late knob head Jimmy Saville, shell suit after shell suit in every colour of the rainbow, in that non breathable fabric you'd get a two man tent in. Hideous. Still, there are some absolute finds in there. I would encourage people to bear in mind that these shops have a high stock turnaround and in their uniqueness, and ability to replace items based on sales, any vintage shop can be a complete bag of shite one week and a total gold mine the next. Its the luck of the drawer, I love that about them. That and the fact that we call them vintage shops. The three of us refer to them as shit shops, but potato patato.

I find it depressing that as I mentioned before, alot of the 'retro' stuff is just normal stuff we, in our 30s, encountered in our youth. There was a 'vintage phone' that was £15 and I'm pretty sure my gran has it now. It's literally a BT £10 phone still in argos, but clearly it had lived with a heavy smoker, adding to the aged facade.

Some of it was very authentic, some of it was broken crap, but the general feel of the place is a good one. There is more 70s stuff than anything else which is quite cool, but like I say, stock changes very frequently. Dani bought an oversized T shirt with a University football team logo emblazoned across it, and to be honest I would have too. There was a vast array of university related large varsity based sweaters, some unnecessarily cut in half width ways (why?!!!! Serves no purpose now, you fools) and that's the kind of thing I would have liked to look at. But as I was in charge of a one year old who was bombing around the floor, doubling as a human sweeping brush and coming back with more dust on him than the inside of the V6 after the attic stairs have been tackled, I gave it up as a bad job and put my bank card back away. No spending for mum today. Gutted.

The shop is pretty fabulous, on the whole. They do know how to charge when it comes to furniture, but the clothing is far more reasonable. It's not all one off pieces, a couple of items make an appearance a few times and that kind of ruins it for me, I start picturing some huge factory in China making hideously outdated clothing and leaving them in a damp garage for a few years, chucking a bit of tea down them and wearing the cuffs and collars down, before exporting the newly knackered pieces to us dumbasses in our 'quirky vintage shops'. Who knows. It's well laid out, and pretty cool, and although not my favourite, I imagine the next time I go it'll be a whole different experience. Swings and roundabouts with these places. It was an interesting look, and if Parker hadn't been doing his best ferret impression I would have definitely bought a jumper. Well worth a look.

Until next week!

Laura, Dani and Alex X

VietBaker, Headingley

https://www.thevietbaker.co.uk

Vintage Boutique, Hyde Park

https://vintageboutique.com